1
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,000
Dre: It's often been said,
"A man's home is his castle."

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,380
We do everything necessary

3
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:10,250
to maintain and protect
our property.

4
00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:13,670
[ Sword strikes ]

5
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:14,580
[ Cellphone chimes ]

6
00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:19,830
The only problem is,

7
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:23,210
you can't control what other
people do with their castles...

8
00:00:23,210 --> 00:00:25,250
[ Indistinct shouting ]

9
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,000
...which can really suck

10
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,500
if you happen to be
the castle-owner next door.

11
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,330
[ Sword clatters ]
Yep.

12
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,580
That's what's been happening
in my kingdom.

13
00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:45,170
Ugh, will you look at this?

14
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,120
Hey, Dre, what ya doing?

15
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,790
Come on, Janine!
Oh, I'm sorry.

16
00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:50,210
I wanted to talk to you,

17
00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:51,500
and sometimes when
I knock on your door,

18
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,420
I feel like you guys
pretend not to be home.

19
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,670
We don't pretend
not to be home.

20
00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:57,580
We pretend we can't
hear the door.

21
00:00:57,580 --> 00:01:00,830
Alright, uh, is this --
Is all this Airbnb people?

22
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,170
Yeah, the Kellys
really screwed us

23
00:01:02,170 --> 00:01:03,620
when they decided to
rent out their house.

24
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:05,460
I mean, these people leave
pizza boxes on the lawn,

25
00:01:05,460 --> 00:01:06,830
they -- they park in front
of my driveway.

26
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,500
Last weekend,
there was a party.

27
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,920
I found human poo
in my garden.

28
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,790
It could've been
an animal.

29
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:15,580
Ohh, Dre, I think
I know the difference.

30
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:17,380
[ Chuckles ]

31
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:19,250
I can't believe I'm agreeing
with you, but...

32
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,540
[sighs] this does need
to be handled.

33
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,120
That's why I'm talking
to all the neighbors,

34
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,080
and we are gonna
call the police.

35
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,380
Nope!

36
00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:28,540
Good luck with your
white-people fight.

37
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:29,920
Keep my name out of it.

38
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:41,040
You guys wouldn't believe what
Janine just asked me to do.

39
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,500
She tried to get you to call
the police about those renters.

40
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,420
How'd you know?

41
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:48,080
Blond hair?
Always outside?

42
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,750
I know a snitch
when I see one.

43
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,580
She's right to want to do
something, though.

44
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,460
You know, I was running by that
house this morning,

45
00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:55,880
and a couple of the guys
were catcalling me...

46
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,080
Hmm.
...saying I was sexy.

47
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,960
Hmm. You've just been waiting
for a way to get that story out?

48
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,670
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

49
00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:03,880
[ Laughs ]

50
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,290
And I'm gonna tell it
when I get to work,

51
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:06,710
but seriously,
that house is a problem.

52
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,420
Okay, well, calling the cops
is not an option.

53
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,960
Okay.
The Johnsons
don't snitch.

54
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,080
-That's right.
-Okay.

55
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,710
Wait, I thought Johnsons
don't eat leftovers.

56
00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:16,250
No, that's just because
Dad doesn't leave

57
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,210
enough for leftovers.

58
00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:21,540
Junior, I wanted Cheddar Bunnies
instead of Goldfish.

59
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,960
Ooh, that new kid, Wyatt, he
loves Cheddar Bunnies, too.

60
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,620
[ Scoffs ] What?!

61
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:27,540
Shut up.
I don't even know Wyatt.

62
00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:29,120
I don't even know
if he eats.

63
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,620
Alright, I got to go to
the hospital, guys.

64
00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:32,210
There's been a horrible
bus accident.

65
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:33,000
Bye.
Pops: Alright, Bow.
Junior: Bye, Mom.

66
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,380
Bye.
Yeah, you do.

67
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:36,040
You gave Wyatt all of
your snacks yesterday.

68
00:02:37,670 --> 00:02:39,080
[ Whispering ]
Shut...up!

69
00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:44,620
Oh, my God.

70
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,460
Oh, my God.

71
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:51,500
My baby girl...
has a crush on a boy.

72
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,750
[ Baby talk ]
Yes, she does.

73
00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:54,790
[ High-pitched ]
You've got a crush on a boy!

74
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:56,380
Kindly unhand me, Mother.

75
00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:57,420
Unhanding.

76
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,040
Hey, sorry I'm late, guys.

77
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,580
My neighbor won't
leave me alone.

78
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:07,040
Oh-ho! Been there.

79
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,670
But lookit, Dre,
you got to tell her,

80
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:12,460
say, "Hey, we're both married.
This has got to end, Jocelyn.

81
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,710
You know, eventually,

82
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,750
your husband's gonna
come home from war."

83
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:18,080
Okay, your life
is disgusting.

84
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,580
And it's not that.

85
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:23,290
She wants me to call the police
on an Airbnb on our block.

86
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,000
No, she don't.
Yes, she does.

87
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,790
[ Scoffs ]
What's the big deal about
having renters on your street?

88
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,880
Yeah, and where do you
have to be from

89
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,580
to think that your neighborhood
is a vacation destination?

90
00:03:31,580 --> 00:03:33,040
[ Laughs ]

91
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,250
Really,
just call the cops.

92
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,790
I'm not gonna do that,
alright,

93
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,040
because Black people,
we don't snitch.

94
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,250
That's right. We do not.

95
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,420
I once was tied up in
a basement with a phone

96
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,250
that only dialed 911,

97
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:48,540
and I still refused to snitch
on my captors.

98
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:50,880
Mm-hmm.
They say,
"Snitches get stitches."

99
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,380
Unfortunately,
so do non-snitches.

100
00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,540
Oh, my God.
They stabbed you?
Worse.

101
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:58,750
When I finally got home,
I tried to cut a bagel.

102
00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,210
Six stitches in my palm.

103
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:02,540
But I never snitched
on that bagel.

104
00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:05,830
Calling law enforcement
is not snitching.

105
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,460
And besides,
as a landowner,

106
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,080
it's actually one of your
constitutional rights.

107
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,960
Just doesn't feel right.

108
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,830
Okay, let's say your house
catches on fire. What do you do?

109
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,790
You call the fire
department, right?
Mm-hmm.

110
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,620
If your son falls
and breaks his leg,

111
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,540
you call the ambulance,
right?

112
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,580
If your yacht ran aground

113
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,540
full of cocaine and prostitutes,
you'd call a Senator.

114
00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,040
I'm just saying.

115
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,880
Make the system
work for you.

116
00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:38,080
Ooh, I am slaying
in this one.
Uh-huh.

117
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,540
Ugh, but my eyes
are closed.

118
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:40,670
Oh, no,
I got you, sis.

119
00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:42,250
Just use that
Top Shot thing.

120
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:44,460
Alright. And boom.
Check it out.

121
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:46,920
It automatically loses
the sleepy-slay pic

122
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,210
and chooses the best one.

123
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:51,040
Crisis averted.
Thank you!

124
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:51,880
[ Chuckles ]
Mm-hmm.

125
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,170
Boy, bye...boy, hi.

126
00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:56,460
Right.
What are we doing?

127
00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:59,120
Ooh...hi.

128
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,250
Are we posting pictures
for Wyatt?

129
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,330
[ Chuckles ] Let me see.

130
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:03,500
[ Grunts ]
Let me get in here.

131
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,290
I'm coming, I'm coming.
[ Chuckles ]

132
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,170
Let me see, let me see, let me
see, let me see, let me see!

133
00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:09,290
[ Gasps ]
That one's beautiful.
What?!

134
00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:10,960
How you gonna put me out
there like that?

135
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,040
I didn't put you anywhere!

136
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,210
You don't see that
wonky eyebrow?

137
00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:16,460
Diane, you have
Mommy's eyebrows.

138
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:17,670
You do.

139
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:19,210
So just delete that one
that Mom liked

140
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:21,330
and post that one.

141
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:22,750
Um...
[ Cellphone chimes ]

142
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:23,920
[ Gasps ]
He liked it already!

143
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:24,880
No way! [ Gasps ]
Yeah!

144
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,380
Oh, my God!
Ah, ah, okay.

145
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:27,880
Everybody calm down.
You know what you need to do?

146
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,080
You need to like one
of his pictures.

147
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,000
[ Gasps ]
Oh, should she, Mom?

148
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,420
Yes!
One or two
or maybe all?

149
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:33,880
Oh, two.
Why not all of them
from this year, right?

150
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,420
Oh, my God! Yes, yes!

151
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:37,670
And that way, he will know
that you are interested.

152
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,380
[ Laughs ]

153
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,080
Are you messing
with me?
Yes, I am.

154
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,670
What?
Okay, Diane, if you
really want this

155
00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:44,710
to work with Wyatt,
just do what I say.

156
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:47,380
Okay.
Text,
"You're so funny."

157
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,710
No, that's weird.

158
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:51,830
But next, you text him,
"Sorry, wrong person."

159
00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:54,250
Ooh, yeah.
No, that's -- No, don't.

160
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,330
That's manipulative.
That's weird.

161
00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:56,420
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Gasps ] Shh!

162
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:57,960
Wait, what?
He texted back.

163
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,210
No, he did not!
Already?

164
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,250
And he asked if
I wanted to go

165
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,580
to ice cream on Saturday!

166
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:02,620
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

167
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:05,960
[ Screeching laughter ]

168
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,460
Ice cream! Ice cream!

169
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,790
Ice creeaaam!

170
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,040
Ice cream.

171
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,290
[ Singsong voice ]
We...are going...

172
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:14,120
to ice cream...with a boy.

173
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,120
We are --
You're closing the door. Wait.

174
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,120
Congratulations.

175
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,580
Thank you so much!

176
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,000
Dre: What the hell?

177
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,830
Hey, Dre, someone's blocking
your driveway.

178
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,920
Pretty aggravating, huh?

179
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,790
Maine plates, too.

180
00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:29,000
[ Groaning ] Aahh!

181
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,040
I wish there was something
we could do.

182
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,290
What do you want me
to do about it, Janine?

183
00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:35,500
I'm just saying.

184
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,540
I mean, they're
right over there.

185
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,000
They gave that guy a ticket for
putting his trash in my can.

186
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,290
Seems extreme.

187
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:42,960
Alright, maybe, maybe.

188
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,330
Look, if you wanna keep
your sweet ride

189
00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:48,080
parked on the street tonight,
you know, fine by me.

190
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,580
Hope no one tries to key it.

191
00:06:50,580 --> 00:06:52,210
Anything else we can
help you with, ma'am?

192
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,420
No, no, I'm okay.
Thank you.

193
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:56,170
Unless my friend Mr. Johnson
needs something.

194
00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:58,330
Uh...

195
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,210
Well, this guy's kinda
blocking my driveway.

196
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,710
Kind of? You can't even
access your property.

197
00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:04,920
This is some real
Maine [bleep]

198
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,080
You want it towed
or ticketed?

199
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,540
I thought that
was your choice.

200
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:11,170
You're the homeowner.

201
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,580
You're the boss.

202
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:18,210
♪♪

203
00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:20,580
What are you doing?

204
00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:22,670
Can you believe how far
this Airbnb lady

205
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:23,710
parked her car
in the street?

206
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,040
It's got to be
over 3 feet.

207
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,250
Hey, want to help me
measure it

208
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:28,580
before I call it
in to the police?

209
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,830
Whoa. I-I thought
Johnsons don't snitch.

210
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:31,830
Don't be ignorant.

211
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,420
Alright, it's not snitching

212
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,620
when you're a homeowner.

213
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,750
Oh, uh...

214
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,710
Okay, cool.

215
00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:40,380
[ The Isley Brothers'
"It's Your Thing" plays ]

216
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,210
Here you are.
Drive safe out there.

217
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:45,960
♪♪

218
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,380
♪ It's your thing ♪

219
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:52,040
♪ Do what you wanna do ♪

220
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,250
♪ I can't tell you ♪

221
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,290
♪ Who to sock it to ♪

222
00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:57,580
♪ It's your thing ♪

223
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:58,960
Go, Dre, go!

224
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,790
♪ Do what you wanna do ♪

225
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,290
[ Alarm beeping ]

226
00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,920
Time.
♪ I can't tell you ♪

227
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,290
[ Ringing ]
♪ Who to sock it to ♪

228
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,750
Dispatcher: 911,
what's your emergency?

229
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:08,880
♪ If you want me to love you ♪

230
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:09,920
♪ Maybe I will ♪

231
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,080
Uh, oh, hell no!

232
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,920
Light 'em up.
Alright.

233
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,670
♪ It ain't no big deal ♪

234
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,120
♪ You need love now ♪

235
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,880
♪ Just as bad as I do ♪

236
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,750
♪ Makes me no difference now ♪

237
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:27,880
♪ Who you give your thing to ♪

238
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,210
Alright.
Everybody say "lemonade"!

239
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,250
Lemonade!
Lemonade!

240
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,000
[ Camera shutter clicks ]

241
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,500
As I drove my steel steed
through my kingdom,

242
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,380
I heard the much-too-loud
merriment of peasants.

243
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,750
[ Music plays in distance ]

244
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:43,000
But I was secure in the fact
that my castle

245
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,540
would always be protected
by my ever-ready knights

246
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:50,080
of Sherman Oaks, who were only
a three-digit call away.

247
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,620
A three-digit call I could not
make in this instance.

248
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:04,120
♪♪

249
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,500
Hi, Mom.

250
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,790
Oh, hey, sweetie.

251
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:14,290
Hi.
Aah! Bloop, bloop! Look.

252
00:09:14,290 --> 00:09:17,330
I found a couple of
options for you

253
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:19,880
that might be great for
your ice cream situation.

254
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,330
That's okay.
Oh.

255
00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:23,040
Zoey already picked
something out for me.

256
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,460
Okay, I mean, that's fine.
It's so cute.

257
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,460
Okay.
Let's see.

258
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:28,830
Oh, yeah.

259
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:31,290
I guess that's cuter.

260
00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:33,000
Maybe I could do something cute
with your hair.

261
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,750
Zoey already told me what
to do with my hair, so...

262
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,790
Oh.

263
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:38,540
Got it.

264
00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:40,830
It's a sister thing.
Yeah.

265
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,710
I-I thought we were
doing the, like,

266
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:47,290
communal female empowerment
"sister" -- pbht! -- thing.

267
00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:48,960
[ Chuckles ]
I'll head out, then.

268
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,500
Sounds like Zoey's got it
under control.

269
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:51,620
I'll close this. Yep.

270
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:52,710
It's fine.
You can close it.

271
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:53,880
Okay. Okay, sweetheart.

272
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:54,880
Love you.

273
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,040
[ Door closes ]

274
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,000
[ Cellphone chimes ]

275
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,290
What?!

276
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:11,210
Um...
[ Sighs ]

277
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,000
[ Ringing ]

278
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,750
Hey, this is Zoey.
Leave a message.

279
00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:16,960
[ Voicemail beeps ]
Hi, Zoey.

280
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,960
He just asked if we should split
it or if he should pay.

281
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,580
What do I say?

282
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,080
You know what?
Just call me back.

283
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,540
Bye.

284
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:28,250
New problem -- I started
chatting, and then I bailed,

285
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,540
and I'm pretty sure he saw
the bubbles,

286
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,830
and then I saw his bubbles,
and then they went away.

287
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,460
So...please help me.

288
00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:36,620
I mean, he should pay, right?

289
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,880
Yeah. He should be able
to take care of a woman.

290
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,380
Well, you know,
I don't want that!

291
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:41,710
I don't want him
to take care of me.

292
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,120
I'm an independent woman!

293
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,670
I am, right?

294
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,500
Zoey, just please tell me
what kind of woman I am!

295
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,790
[ Sighs ]

296
00:10:50,790 --> 00:10:52,330
[ Quietly ] This is Diane.

297
00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:54,250
[ Indistinct conversations,
music plays in distance ]

298
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,290
Ah, hey, neighbor.
[ Chuckles ]

299
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:59,460
How's everything?
Uh, pretty loud,
don't you think?

300
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,540
So, when did the cops say
they were gonna get here?

301
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:05,080
Uh, they didn't...
because I didn't call them.

302
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,540
Dre...we have to call them.

303
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,500
I-I have to get up early
tomorrow for my Tinder date.

304
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:13,210
No, just going hiking...

305
00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,330
and then we're gonna have sex.
[ Laughs ]

306
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,420
No, here, seriously,
blow up the spot.

307
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:20,540
You know you love to call
the police, Drop-A-Dime Dre.

308
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,580
Yeah, drop the dime
like it's hot!

309
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:25,460
Come on.
What, you don't like
free music?

310
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,960
Oh...

311
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,710
Oh, I got it,
I got it. Right.

312
00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:30,790
Don't want to call the cops
because they're...

313
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,080
Because they're...ashy?

314
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,250
No! No.
What?

315
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,750
Because they're
African-American Blacks.

316
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,710
Okay, okay.
Alright, you're right.

317
00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:43,250
Alright, I don't want
to call the cops on them

318
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:46,290
because they're Black.
Alright, I get it.

319
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,210
You grew up with them.
Okay.

320
00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:49,880
I got your back.
I will call for you.

321
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,210
No, you don't.

322
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,960
When you call the cops
on Black people,

323
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,750
things can escalate quickly.

324
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,540
Well, what -- I'm -- I'm just
supposed to do nothing?

325
00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:59,170
Yeah,
you're not in danger.

326
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:00,500
You're just feeling
uncomfortable.

327
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,830
And that's how you end up
in a viral video

328
00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:05,580
as the next Barbecue Becky.

329
00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:06,920
I cannot go viral.

330
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,250
Those memes do nothing
but zero in

331
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:13,170
on your weaknesses, and I'm --
I'm mostly weaknesses.

332
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,420
Good call.

333
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,170
Uh-huh.

334
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,580
Hey.

335
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:22,460
Why aren't you dressed?

336
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,540
Wyatt texted me, and I didn't
know how to respond.

337
00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:25,920
Oh.

338
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,330
Zoey promised that
she would help me,

339
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,580
but I couldn't get
in touch with her.

340
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:31,420
Ah...

341
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,830
Okay, well...

342
00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:35,330
what did you write back?

343
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:38,540
I panicked and sent
some random emojis

344
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,250
that ended with
a New Zealand flag

345
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:42,330
and a Steve Harvey
mustache.

346
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:43,620
Oh. [ Chuckles ]

347
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:45,080
[ Sighs ]

348
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,210
He freaked out
and bailed on ice cream.

349
00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:48,830
Oh, honey.

350
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,040
Oh.

351
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,670
Oh, sweetheart.
[ Sighs ]

352
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,170
It's okay.

353
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,750
What does it mean

354
00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:03,210
when you don't want to
seek revenge on someone?

355
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:09,120
It means that you
liked them...

356
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,420
a lot.

357
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:16,040
It's okay, sweetheart.

358
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:22,210
[ Music playing in distance ]

359
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:24,120
Uh, Dad?
Hmm?

360
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,380
What are we doing?

361
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:28,170
Devante can't go down
with all this music,

362
00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:32,290
and he's a little too young
for all the explicit lyrics.

363
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:34,880
He's barely a year old,
alright?

364
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,750
He doesn't even
understand the words.

365
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,620
Oh, alright.
So I guess you're fine

366
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:44,500
with his first words being...
the A-word...or the B-word.

367
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,620
Or "skeet skeet skeet."

368
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,500
Do something about this.

369
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,500
Look,
you got two options.

370
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,500
One,
you could do nothing.

371
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,380
Two, if you was a man,

372
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:56,330
you'd go out there
and you'd talk to them.

373
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:57,460
I'm a man.

374
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,540
You know what?
[ Tablet thuds ]

375
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,170
And I will go over there
and I will talk to him,

376
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:04,380
man to man.

377
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,710
Go ahead.

378
00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:09,290
Man to many men...

379
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:11,620
who have been drinking.

380
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:13,250
You know what? Uh...

381
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:15,880
maybe I'll take
the dog with me.

382
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,830
Damn it, why couldn't
I have a pit bull?

383
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:20,670
Stop watching
that baby so much.

384
00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:22,460
It's weird.

385
00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:28,620
♪♪

386
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,460
Uh, hey! Hey, uh...

387
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,710
Is that that, uh...

388
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:33,250
That that new Lil Uzi Vert?

389
00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:36,670
You know, uh...

390
00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:40,710
Y'all having, uh, kind of
like a...front-yard thing.

391
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:44,170
We're kind of a backyard-thing
kind of neighborhood.

392
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,540
But it's all good.

393
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:47,170
I'm Dre.

394
00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:49,330
I'm Dre.
I'm, um, from up the block.

395
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:51,040
What up, sir?

396
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,330
You know, I just...

397
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:53,540
You know,
I just wanted to, uh,

398
00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:54,920
just give you the heads-up.

399
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,540
You know, some of the neighbors,
they be trippin',

400
00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:59,040
you know, 'cause --
'cause your music --

401
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,710
your music's kind of loud.

402
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:03,290
Uh, d-- Damn, man.

403
00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:05,500
We -- We weren't even
thinking about it, man.

404
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:09,290
Uh...yo, go tell Sean to
turn it down some, alright?

405
00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:10,670
Huh.

406
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:12,670
Alright. Okay.

407
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,750
You know, appreciate this.

408
00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:16,380
Edwin.
Oh, okay.

409
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,830
What's up, Edwin?
We're just in town
for the weekend --

410
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:20,380
pre-gaming before
we hit the club.
Which club?

411
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:22,460
You know, I might --
I might hit it, too.

412
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,330
[ Chuckles ]

413
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:26,170
Okay. Alright.

414
00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:28,420
Hey, uh, I just
want to, uh...

415
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:31,000
thank you guys, you know,
for being, uh, so cool.

416
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,170
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.

417
00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:33,170
Yeah, alright.
Wasn't so damn hard.

418
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,960
I didn't even
need that damn dog.

419
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,170
[ Police siren chirps ]

420
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,080
[ Sirens wailing ]

421
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:41,920
All right.

422
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,710
♪ Shake that...
speed up ♪

423
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,580
No one moves.
Oh, okay.

424
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:47,120
♪ Breathe in, breathe out ♪

425
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,830
♪ Shake that...
speed up ♪

426
00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:50,080
♪ Go fast, slow down ♪

427
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:57,000
[ Police radio chatter ]

428
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,120
Hey, wait, Dre.

429
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,500
What did you do?

430
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,210
What did you do?!

431
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,460
I told you,
"Don't call the cops."

432
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:06,080
I couldn't have
called them!

433
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,250
Whenever I smoke
my cataract medicine,

434
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:12,000
I always lock my phone in
the safe because of last time.

435
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:14,500
Dad, what's going on?

436
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,250
Son, just go back in
the house, alright?

437
00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:18,750
Somebody called the police,
and we have to work this out.

438
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:20,540
Okay, just go home.

439
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,960
It wasn't "somebody."

440
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,620
I-I called the police.

441
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:31,420
♪♪

442
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,120
[ Siren chirps ]

443
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,210
♪♪

444
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:39,420
Why would you
call the police?

445
00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:41,500
I-I just did what we do
when the neighbors are loud.

446
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,790
But did you know
that they were Black?

447
00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:44,960
Describe them?

448
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,790
Uh...Black, Black, Black, Black.

449
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,120
Yeah, all Black.

450
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,670
Is that how you said it?!

451
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,580
But you said it's okay to call
the cops if you're a homeowner.

452
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,250
[ Sighs ] Man.

453
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,960
We really need to talk.
Come on.

454
00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:04,250
Zoey: This lobster roll
is insane.

455
00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:07,000
I promise to never eat at
a place without wheels again.

456
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,080
Seafood in a hot truck
3,000 miles from Maine.

457
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,500
Mm,
what could go wrong?

458
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,670
Right?

459
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:15,210
Good evening, Zoey.

460
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,120
Mom.
Mm-hmm.

461
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,540
Um...w-wow.

462
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:20,880
You're...

463
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,210
You're at a place I'm at.

464
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:24,330
Diane has been trying to
get in touch with you.

465
00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,250
Oh, I was gonna
call her back.

466
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:27,710
Do you understand
what happened tonight?

467
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:28,790
What?

468
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:30,670
Wyatt canceled.

469
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,620
He canceled ice cream
with Diane.

470
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:35,540
Nooooo...

471
00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:37,420
Who's Wyatt?

472
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:38,460
Go away.

473
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,000
Okay, it -- it's not
that big of a deal.

474
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,420
I figured she had it
handled.

475
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:51,670
She chose you
to be there for her,

476
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,880
and you promised
that you would be.

477
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,380
You're just coming down
on me

478
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,500
because she wants my help
and not yours.

479
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:59,580
Okay, I get that you're
in college now, Zoey,

480
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,920
and you can pop by the house
and pick up clothes

481
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,960
and drop your little smart-ass
comments whenever you want.

482
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,580
Fine. But you cannot fly in
and out of your sister's life.

483
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:07,670
Do you hear me?

484
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,040
She's 13 years old!

485
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,620
That was her first date!
Zoey!

486
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:13,750
You have a responsibility
to be there for her

487
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:17,290
and treat her better than some
skirt that you just left behind!

488
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:19,540
That's what you did!

489
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:22,120
Um, Dr. Johnson?

490
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,710
I'm so sorry about before.

491
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,420
I brought you some tots.

492
00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:30,710
Thank you, and...gimme
the lobster roll.

493
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,040
Oh, but I...

494
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:36,540
Jack: So, you're mad at me
for calling the cops?

495
00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:38,210
Look...

496
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:39,620
you know, I should've
made it clear to you

497
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,120
that we're not
just homeowners.

498
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,580
We're Black homeowners,
and because we're Black,

499
00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:47,670
we have to look at things
through kind of a dual lens.

500
00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:50,170
You know, we need to think
about every situation

501
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,460
and how it should
go normally,

502
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,540
and how it could go
'cause we're Black.

503
00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:59,880
Like, being asked to sit on the
curb while they checked your ID.

504
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,170
They didn't ask any of
the white people to do that.

505
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:05,670
Mnh-mnh.
Yeah, it's different
for us, baby boy.

506
00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,670
It's like those two brothers
that were handcuffed

507
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,670
while waiting for a meeting
at Starbucks.

508
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,620
Or that Ivy League student

509
00:19:11,620 --> 00:19:14,040
who was harassed for
napping in a common area.

510
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,670
Those were all
somebody's kids.
Just like you.

511
00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:18,880
And it makes me sick
to think

512
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,750
that someone would call
the police on you

513
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,170
just because they thought
you didn't belong there

514
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:25,120
because of the color
of your skin.
Mm-hmm.

515
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,710
And it scares me to think
of what could happen.

516
00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:29,540
See, calling the police
on Black people

517
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,880
ain't nothing to play with.

518
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,920
Yeah, I-I get it now.

519
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,420
But can I still call
the cops on white people?

520
00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,380
Can't say yes,
but I won't say no.

521
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:43,750
♪♪

522
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,420
I still can't believe it.

523
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:47,250
Hmm?
One second,
Diane's small enough

524
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:49,170
to be swaddled in
the palm of my hand,

525
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:51,330
and next thing
you know,

526
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,210
she's talking about
her first date.

527
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,750
Well...I'm still
a little shook

528
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:58,120
that I'm having one-on-one race
conversations with Jack.

529
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,250
Mm.

530
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:00,620
The twins are
growing up, babe.

531
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:01,880
Mm-hmm.

532
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,210
With Zoey and Junior...
Mm-hmm.

533
00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:06,500
...we can get through this
with the twins.

534
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,540
Now, good thing we don't
have to do that again.

535
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,290
[ Laughs ] Amen.

536
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:12,330
[ Devante cries ]

537
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,420
[ Whispering ]
Oh, my God...
Ah.

538
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:16,920
Why do we keep forgetting
about Devante?

539
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,460
No, no, it's fine, though.
It's fine.

540
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:20,040
[ Whispering ]
Junior's got it.

541
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,040
That's weird.
[ Crying continues ]

542
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,540
Junior:
I'm coming, Devante!

543
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:25,830
Yeah, it's weird.

544
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:27,040
[ Crying continues ]

545
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:32,920
You know, next time,
when I say I'll be there,

546
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,380
I'll actually be there.
I promise.

547
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,040
So, what are we doing about
the whole Wyatt situation?

548
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:41,000
Well, if he can't accept me for
my Steve Harvey mustache emoji,

549
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,790
then he doesn't deserve me
at my dancing lady emoji.

550
00:20:43,790 --> 00:20:45,250
Boom.
I'm out on Wyatt.

551
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,080
[ Chuckles ] Tell it.
[ Slurping ]

552
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,790
[ Exhales sharply ]

553
00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:54,080
That name -- Wyatt --

554
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,620
It's a pretty cool
throwback name, huh?

555
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,120
Junior, that's not
what we're doing.

556
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,790
No.
We're the other way.

557
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,380
Why are you even here?

558
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:03,920
Oh, well, you know, I'm still
doing the whole gap-year thing.

559
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,670
Yep.
All my friends
are away at college.

560
00:21:06,670 --> 00:21:08,710
I'm a bit lonely.

561
00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:10,540
Sweetheart...

562
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:14,040
No, it's all good
'cause we've got each other.

563
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,290
And there is nothing
weird about this.

564
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:22,210
[ Slurping ]