1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:02,580
Dre:
Just like our smartphones,

2
00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:05,500
sometimes we humans
need updates, too.

3
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:06,880
So, I pay all the bills,
and I'm forced

4
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,170
to sit Indian-style
on the floor?

5
00:00:09,170 --> 00:00:10,380
Easy, fella.

6
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:11,750
It's "criss-cross
applesauce" now.

7
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,750
Really?
Mm-hmm.

8
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:14,000
Dad, would you like it

9
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,500
if there was some White guy
asking his son

10
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,750
not to wear his hat
"Negro-style"?

11
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:21,540
Criss-cross applesauce
it is.

12
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:24,250
Fine.
Move your feet, Negro.

13
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:29,880
♪♪

14
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,580
So, I try my best
to stay up to date,

15
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,040
but it doesn't always work out.

16
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,380
I know what we're doing for
Devante's birthday party.

17
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:39,790
Ha ha!

18
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,620
A water gun fight!

19
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,880
A box of guns, Dre?
[ Chuckles ]

20
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:48,620
We are not having a gun party
for our child's second birthday!

21
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:50,120
Think about the message
that you're sending!

22
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,540
The message is, "Who wants to
get riddled with fun?!"

23
00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:54,620
Aaah! Aah!

24
00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:56,420
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

25
00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:57,710
Okay, okay! Oh!

26
00:00:57,710 --> 00:01:00,000
[ Laughing ] What?

27
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,040
Do you think I would really give
you a loaded water gun, Bow?

28
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,500
[ Sighs ] I have thought
about this birthday party,

29
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,540
and we've got to
do it right,

30
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:09,330
and the child-rearing rules
keep changing.

31
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:09,830
It's tough to keep up!

32
00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:11,880
[ Laughter ]
Oh, hey, um...

33
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,670
I made some homemade
snack bars.
Oh.

34
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:18,580
Healthy, organic, no gluten,
no dairy, no nuts.

35
00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:21,540
Oh. Hey, did those go
right from the hot oven

36
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,380
into that toxic
plastic container?

37
00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:28,080
Um...no.

38
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:33,540
Warm plastic leaches toxins
into food.

39
00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:34,670
Did you know that?
[ Sighs ]

40
00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:36,000
I still microwave
Styrofoam,

41
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,000
so I probably
did not know that.
[ Sighing ]

42
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,830
You know, when the chicken bone
pops through,

43
00:01:40,830 --> 00:01:42,000
that's when I know
it's done.

44
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,830
Well, I've thought about
Devante's birthday party,

45
00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,540
and we need to be
more mindful.

46
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,620
And for his party,
we are gonna have

47
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,710
an allergen-safe
environment

48
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:54,500
with organic face painting
and gender-neutral games.

49
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:55,710
And pony rides!

50
00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:56,880
[ Muttering ]
Oh, my God...

51
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,710
-You're joking, right?
-What?

52
00:01:58,710 --> 00:02:02,170
Those animals
are so mistreated.

53
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:02,920
Exactly!

54
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,080
I just saw a doc called
"Parties of Shame,"

55
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,670
and the only thing treated
worse than those ponies

56
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:09,040
are human clowns.
Mnh-mnh.

57
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,880
But unlike the ponies,
those clowns had a choice.

58
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,080
-Mnh.
-They just made the wrong one.

59
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,040
Look, all this stuff might've
worked 10 or 20 years ago,

60
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,540
but we know better now,
and we need to do better.

61
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,670
Okay, okay, babe,
I hear you.

62
00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:23,000
Okay.
How 'bout a piñata?

63
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:23,790
Really?!

64
00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:24,920
What's wrong
with a piñata?!

65
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:27,620
Let's start with the fact that
it's hanging from a tree.

66
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:28,830
Oh...

67
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:30,000
Yeah, I guess
I should've caught that.

68
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,540
Plus, many of those piñatas
are unlicensed reproductions

69
00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:34,540
of copyrighted --

70
00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:35,580
You know what? Mnh!

71
00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:36,710
Oh!

72
00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:39,500
Dad, why?!
You know why.

73
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,880
Uh...w-- No, don't.

74
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,960
Take -- Take cover,
sweetheart!

75
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,580
Yeah,
"Boyz n the Hood"-style!
There's no water!

76
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:46,620
There's no water in it!
"Boyz n the Hood"-style!

77
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,420
Wh--
[ Screams ]

78
00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:50,880
[ Shouting ]

79
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,750
So, Mom was hitting Dad up
about being more mindful,

80
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,500
and I think she's right.

81
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,580
We could do more,

82
00:02:56,580 --> 00:02:58,790
especially when it comes
to the environment.

83
00:02:58,790 --> 00:03:00,710
But we do a ton
for the environment.

84
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:02,540
I mean, we're twins.

85
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:03,620
Instant carpool.

86
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:04,880
No, we can do better.

87
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,620
We've been riding on that
for a while.

88
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,670
Bingo. Great.

89
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,710
So, our first order
of business

90
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:13,620
is to wrangle up the most
wasteful person among us.

91
00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:18,580
♪♪

92
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:19,580
[ Door opens ]

93
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:21,380
[ Water running ]

94
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:24,750
♪♪

95
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,670
Grandma!
What the hey?

96
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:28,620
How did I know
the shower would be on

97
00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:29,670
but you wouldn't be in it?

98
00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:31,960
'Cause Grandma's efficient,
baby.

99
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,540
I'm getting the wrinkles
out of my clothes

100
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:36,080
and skin at the same time.

101
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,880
It's definitely working
on the clothes.
Whoa.

102
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,710
Okay, that sharp tongue
of yours

103
00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:43,620
is gonna serve you well
in hell, baby girl.

104
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:46,960
And anyway, I can only brush
my teeth in humidity.

105
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,790
I've got what dentists call
"fool's enamel."

106
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:51,830
Come on, Grandma,
you gotta start

107
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:53,540
thinking about
the environment.

108
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:54,790
Yeah, get on board.

109
00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:56,750
You kids got it all wrong.

110
00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:59,580
Letting a little water run
is fine

111
00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:02,620
if the reward you seek
is not of this world.

112
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,380
You see, there's nothing
to recycle in heaven.

113
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:07,380
Eh?

114
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,710
Now get out of here.

115
00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:10,620
I floss in the nude.

116
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:11,830
That's right!
Go on! Get out!
Oh! Get --

117
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:14,750
The hell outta here. Go on!
Talking all that crap.

118
00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:17,330
[ Sighs ]
Uh-oh.

119
00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:18,920
Okay, what's wrong, Dre?

120
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,790
Is the vending machine
all out of sunflower seeds?

121
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,710
Okay, so, then,
you do know.

122
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:25,750
We're having
Devante's birthday party,

123
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,880
and I want ponies
and water guns,

124
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,460
but Bow says
I'm not being mindful.

125
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:31,580
-Ohh.
-Mnh.

126
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:33,460
Suddenly, everything I love
is a problem.

127
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,620
Tell me about it.
[ Pen clicking ]

128
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,460
Do you remember bum fights?

129
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:37,880
God, they were so much fun.

130
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:41,750
Now you can't call 'em "bums,"
and you can't make 'em fight.

131
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,960
Hey, you know what?
There are land mines everywhere.

132
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,830
A rug can be called
"Oriental,"

133
00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:46,920
but that can't be
your preference

134
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,880
on your dating profile,
believe you me.

135
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,790
And can someone
tell me this --

136
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:54,120
when it did become
not okay to kick birds?

137
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,620
That -- That long, huh?

138
00:04:56,620 --> 00:05:00,000
Look, guys, there's a lot
of upside to being mindful,

139
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,380
but, damn it, it seems as if
they keep moving the goal line.

140
00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:05,620
Mm-hmm.

141
00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:08,080
Like there's a secret society
who decides

142
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,670
what is and isn't appropriate
for all of us.

143
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:13,540
Yeah.
Secret society?

144
00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,380
W-W-Who's in
a secret society?

145
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,500
Not me.
[ Chuckles ]

146
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:17,790
And hell, nah,
we don't call ourselves

147
00:05:17,790 --> 00:05:19,500
Illuminaughty By Nature.

148
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,750
What?
[ Chuckles ]

149
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,080
Stevens:
Look, Dre, face it, okay?

150
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,620
The moral high horse that
society is riding these days,

151
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:28,790
well, it is trampling over
everything we love.

152
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,620
And the minute
they take it away,

153
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,380
oho, it is gone forever.

154
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:34,420
So what do I do?

155
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,620
You fight it, Dre.

156
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:37,830
Come on, have the party
you want to have.

157
00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:39,540
You want to shoot ponies?

158
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,750
Go ahead, shoot ponies.

159
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:43,540
We aren't shooting ponies!

160
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:45,620
So they already
got to you, huh?

161
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,750
♪♪

162
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:48,790
[ Door opens ]

163
00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:50,540
[ Humming ]
Bow, we need to talk.

164
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:51,830
Hi, Dre.
Hi.

165
00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:54,040
Uh, look, baby,
we need to stand tall

166
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,830
and fight for everything that
our kids enjoy -- classics.

167
00:05:57,830 --> 00:05:59,880
All right, we cannot
let the PC Police

168
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,540
take everything
away from us.

169
00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,460
So I'm giving you
two choices

170
00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:05,290
for Devante's
birthday party --

171
00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:06,460
ponies...

172
00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:08,120
or water guns
and ponies.

173
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,620
Okay, I understand that this
is important to you, Dre,

174
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,750
but what is important to me

175
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:15,710
is that I can make adjustments
and be mindful.

176
00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,620
And I get it --
I'm a good person,

177
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:19,540
but can we maybe
pick this up later?

178
00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:20,790
Is that cool? All right?

179
00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:22,000
And you're making me
lose count.

180
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,670
Okay. That's cool.
22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27.

181
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:27,460
[ Door shuts ]

182
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:28,880
Baby?
28, 29, 30. Yes.

183
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,380
Did you just call me
a bad person?

184
00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:35,170
Yeah. I did.

185
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,040
Just because I think
our son would like

186
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,920
a little water fight and
a couple of ponies at his party

187
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,580
does not make me
a bad person.

188
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:48,710
[ Clears throat ]
Okay, I'd be lying if I said

189
00:06:48,710 --> 00:06:52,620
I wasn't baffled by some
of the things that you still do.

190
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,710
Like what?

191
00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:58,330
You still listen
to "Ain't No Fun."

192
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,380
It's a jam.

193
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:01,750
It's misogynist.

194
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:05,460
It's about friends
and sharing!

195
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:08,040
Think about the chorus.

196
00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:12,540
[ Gasps ] Oh...
Yeah.

197
00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:14,920
It's, uh...it's
just about sharing.

198
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,790
And it's not just
about music, babe --

199
00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:18,620
it's your whole approach
to life.

200
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:22,710
I mean, you are not mindful
of how things impact others

201
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,710
unless they directly
affect you.

202
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:29,540
Name an instance where I put
myself ahead of others.

203
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,460
[ Laughs ]

204
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:33,500
[ Laughing ]

205
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,790
What's so funny?

206
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,620
[ Laughing ]
You want me to name one?

207
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,670
Yeah, that's about 50 pounds.

208
00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:40,670
Okay.

209
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,380
Back to Sexy Dre.

210
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:45,500
I didn't come up
with "Sexy Dre."

211
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,000
The streets did!
Okay, fine!

212
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,880
How about the fact that,
when we go out to eat,

213
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,880
you never want to do
farm-to-table.

214
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,580
'Cause I don't care
about the biography

215
00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:54,880
of a carrot
before I eat it.

216
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,750
I know that you sneak-watch
"The Cosby Show"

217
00:07:58,750 --> 00:07:59,960
in the middle of the night.

218
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,880
I only laugh at Rudy.
[ Scoffs ]

219
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,620
Everything you're
calling me out for

220
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,580
is what contributed
to who I am today.

221
00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:08,670
Ohh...you know what?

222
00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:10,420
What?
[ Clicks tongue ]

223
00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:11,500
You're right.

224
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,670
Ohh, sweetheart.

225
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,620
What?
I know it's hard for you.

226
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,880
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

227
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,790
Are you saying
you're better than me, Bow?

228
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,750
Well.
Well, for someone
who claims

229
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,040
to love animals
as much as you do,

230
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:27,620
you're serving an awful lot
of steak at Devante's party.

231
00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:29,880
I only buy level-five,

232
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,750
grass-fed,
hormone-free beef.

233
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:34,960
Those are happy cows.

234
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:39,330
Yeah, happy until they get
a bolt in the brain.

235
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:41,790
Fine. I'll be vegan.

236
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,540
It's no problem.

237
00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:45,670
Okay.

238
00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:47,460
What about those diamonds?

239
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,540
Hmm?

240
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:49,880
What about them?

241
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:54,330
Lives were lost
for those blood diamonds.

242
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:56,380
Rent a movie.

243
00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:58,420
"It's not bling-bling.

244
00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:00,330
It's bling bang."

245
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,500
Then I won't
wear them anymore.

246
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,500
Okay.
Mm-hmm.

247
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,830
Well, it's easy
not to wear earrings.

248
00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:14,670
Why don't we do something
that requires real sacrifice?

249
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:18,620
Like that luxury SUV
that seats eight

250
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,710
but only drives one
most of the time.

251
00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,540
I'll take the bus!

252
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:24,790
Stop talking crazy, Bow,

253
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,880
and just admit that
I'm not a bad person,

254
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,960
and you're not as good
as you say that you are.
[ Sighs ]

255
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,040
All right, and let's go
order some steak

256
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,670
with some diamonds on top.
Ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah-ah!

257
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,710
The sign of
a good person, Dre,

258
00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:38,670
is that you are willing
to do better,

259
00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:41,670
and I want to do better.

260
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:45,420
You won't survive
on the bus.

261
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,460
Game on!

262
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:48,750
I'm-a get a monthly pass.

263
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,670
Do you know why?

264
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,460
Because I...

265
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,330
Uh...

266
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,210
...am a good person.

267
00:09:58,210 --> 00:10:03,460
♪♪

268
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:04,710
Hey, kids!

269
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:07,250
Come on over here
and give Grandma a hand.

270
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,040
Come on.

271
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,830
Grandma, how come you didn't use
the bags that we gave you?

272
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,710
Yeah. Science shows that
those reusable totes

273
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:14,960
are better for
the environment.

274
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:19,710
Unh-unh. I found an onion skin
in one -- threw 'em all away.

275
00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,670
Contamination!

276
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:24,000
Did you individually bag
bananas?

277
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,380
Oh, baby, when they touch,
they go bad.

278
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:28,120
There's your science.

279
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,540
Well, can you at least save them
so you can reuse them?

280
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,620
Oh, baby, I save 'em already!

281
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:36,170
Look at this.
See?

282
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:36,920
[ Gasps ]

283
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,960
Grandma, that is horrible,
even for you!

284
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,250
You can't possibly
keep all these bags!

285
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:42,920
You hear that, kids?

286
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,830
Mr. Environmental wants me to
dump them in a landfill.

287
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,830
I'll get rid of them
the right way --

288
00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:51,670
with an old-fashioned
trash fire.

289
00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,620
Diane,
go get my burn barrel.

290
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,710
You had it last.

291
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:57,540
Grandma, no.
You'll release greenhouse gases.

292
00:10:57,540 --> 00:10:59,710
And that melts
the polar ice caps.

293
00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:01,540
Tell her, Diane.

294
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:02,750
I don't know.

295
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:07,500
I love polar bears, but I also
love a big, stanky fire.

296
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,460
Diane, no...

297
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,830
That's right, baby.

298
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:13,580
Burn what needs
to be burned.

299
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,830
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
Mm.

300
00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,880
So, Bow had been living
mindfully for a week.

301
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,670
I kept waiting for her to
crumble, but she was all in.

302
00:11:23,670 --> 00:11:24,790
You know, Dre?
Hmm?

303
00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:26,830
I don't even miss
my diamonds.

304
00:11:26,830 --> 00:11:29,670
And everyone at work
loved my vegan chili...
[ Crunching ]

305
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:32,500
...and you were wrong
about the bus.

306
00:11:34,670 --> 00:11:35,750
How's that book, Bow?

307
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,290
The reviews are great.

308
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:38,540
Oh! Oh. [ Chuckles ]

309
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,960
Um, it's really good,
Tonya.

310
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,170
Yeah, uh, you can borrow it
when I'm done.

311
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:42,830
That would be amazing.

312
00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,750
Just like
our public transit system.

313
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,460
[ Laughing ]
Amazing.

314
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:47,500
Yeah. Right?

315
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,710
Making all these
adjustments

316
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:51,380
has made me feel
like I'm doing my part.

317
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:52,750
I see it, too...
Hmm.

318
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:55,790
...and I think you
deserve a reward

319
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,620
for being such
a good person.

320
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,670
Oh, no, no, no.

321
00:11:58,670 --> 00:11:59,960
You can't tempt me --

322
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:04,290
not with burgers
or steaks or...

323
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,500
Voilà!

324
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,580
Feast your eyes.

325
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,710
Mm-hmm.

326
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:11,210
Smell it. Mmm.

327
00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:13,670
[ Sniffs ]

328
00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:16,380
[ Exhales shakily ]

329
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,710
[ Inhales deeply ]

330
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:19,710
Conflict-free?

331
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,500
No...much conflict.

332
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,380
Inner conflict.

333
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:27,460
Should I go huge or huger?

334
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,830
I hope you kept your receipt,
Dre, because Mama is clean now.

335
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:35,960
I...
And I need to go
finish reading my book

336
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,620
so that I can give it
to my bus buddy.

337
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:40,040
Hold on, b-babe, babe.

338
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,750
You mean, you really weren't
doing all of this

339
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:44,000
just to make me look bad?

340
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,670
I am not, Dre, and you should
try being a good person, too.

341
00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:50,210
It's not that hard.

342
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,380
Make that change.

343
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:58,500
♪♪

344
00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,880
[ Clatters ]

345
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,380
Even though
this man in the mirror was fly,

346
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,120
Bow had me thinking.

347
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,880
If she wasn't going to
come down to my level,

348
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:10,750
maybe I needed to come up to
hers and be more mindful --

349
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:14,080
like by donating my unmindful
things to charity.

350
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:19,460
These were made in a sweatshop,
probably by children.

351
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,880
Real wolf fur.

352
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,790
Likely a mom and her cubs
taken while sleeping.
[ Sniffing ]

353
00:13:24,790 --> 00:13:28,620
It was so in that year,
but so wrong.

354
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,500
My belt budget alone
could build

355
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:31,920
a girls' school in Africa.

356
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,380
And now that I was seeing
the world in a different way,

357
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,710
I couldn't turn it off.

358
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:40,000
For example,
Tony is no longer a Latino --

359
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,790
he's a member of
the Latinx community.

360
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:45,460
And I'm learning
to speak Latinx.

361
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:48,540
Holax, Tony.
Buenos Diax.

362
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:49,830
I think that was right.

363
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,620
I even had to see my lunch
in a different way.

364
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,880
I was excited about
eating mindfully.

365
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,500
Whoa. How did you
have them cook that,

366
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,580
medium-green?

367
00:13:58,580 --> 00:13:59,830
[ Laughs ]
[ Chuckles ]

368
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:02,710
Guys, I'm happy
with my salad.

369
00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:04,000
Are you sure you're
not sick, Dre?

370
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,750
Hmm?
Because that looks like
the lunch of someone

371
00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:09,500
who found out he's gonna die
if he doesn't make changes.

372
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,580
[ Laughs ]
Ooh! One rib left.

373
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:14,540
Splitsies?
Oh, absolutely.

374
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:15,710
Mmm.

375
00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:17,880
Mmm. Mmm.

376
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,790
Of course, it was a struggle
to stay mindful,

377
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,960
and I nearly fell off
the wagon that night.

378
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,420
Man: Welcome to Pauly's Burgers.
What can I get you?

379
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,120
Yeah...

380
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,580
Never mind.

381
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,920
I can't do it.

382
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,830
[ Muffled hip-hop music plays ]

383
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:38,620
[ Music continues ]

384
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:41,290
Oh, no, you didn't.

385
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:45,830
♪♪

386
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,670
Dre: Hey! Hey!
[ Radio clicks ]

387
00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,250
[ Classical music plays ]
Hey.

388
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,540
I see you.

389
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,880
I see you!

390
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,500
And...were you just listening
to "Ain't No Fun"?

391
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,620
Huh?!
[ Seat whirring ]

392
00:14:56,620 --> 00:15:00,620
The least mindful song
in the history of hip-hop?!

393
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:01,710
What?!

394
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:03,670
That's corrupt!
You hypocrite!

395
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,120
[ Muffled ] I know!
I...

396
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,500
I know "Ain't No Fun"
is wrong,

397
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,920
but you were right --
it's a jam.

398
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,620
And it was my jam
all through med school,

399
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:17,710
and I can't take that back.

400
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:20,880
You guilted me into
donating my wolf coat.

401
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,540
Wh--
And now my fox scarf
looks silly.

402
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:25,920
It always looked silly,
didn't it?

403
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,750
I ate salad for lunch
on rib day.
[ Whispering ]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

404
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:33,250
Now, was this mindfulness
just a lie?

405
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,420
No!

406
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:35,830
I tried!

407
00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:37,880
And I -- It was all
going really well,

408
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,500
and then, I-I don't know,
I just --

409
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:42,040
I...fell off the rails today.

410
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,000
Bow:
Sure, not wearing my diamond
ring made some things easier,

411
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,540
but it also made
some things creepier.

412
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:50,040
Single, huh?
Oh, uh. [ Scoffs ]

413
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,710
Once they take this catheter
out, why don't I take you out?

414
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:55,920
[ Laughs ]

415
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,580
It turns out they were lying
about loving my chili.

416
00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:00,170
Ah!

417
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,830
[ Gasps ]

418
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,330
And even the bus
stopped working for me.

419
00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:09,420
Here you go. Enjoy.

420
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,540
Thank you!

421
00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:12,290
[ Dramatic chord plays ]

422
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:15,920
I knew it.
[ Groans ]

423
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,420
Bow, just admit --
You are no better than me.

424
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,540
I'm not.

425
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:23,790
We're both terrible people.

426
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:25,620
Well, speak for yourself.

427
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:27,960
Do whatever you want
for Devante's birthday party.

428
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,750
I don't -- I don't have
a leg to stand on.

429
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,670
[ Clicks tongue ]

430
00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,210
What?

431
00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:36,620
I-I...

432
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,290
[ Crunching ]

433
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:45,540
♪♪

434
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:46,670
Got to hold it?
Yep.

435
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:49,420
There we go.
Uhhh...

436
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,880
Together:
[ Chuckling ] Ooh!

437
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,620
This is gonna save us literally
hundreds of gallons a year.

438
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,750
Aww...
That's nice.

439
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,620
You guys finally found
the perfect thing

440
00:16:58,620 --> 00:16:59,960
to put all your ideas in.

441
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:04,330
Jack, you want to come with us
to test-drive an Escalade

442
00:17:04,330 --> 00:17:05,540
tonight after dinner?

443
00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,790
I'm starting to think
I need more elbow room

444
00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,500
and off-roading
capabilities.

445
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,710
Off-- Off-roading?
Mm.

446
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:14,500
Grandma, that car gets
like 14 miles per gallon.

447
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,750
Jack, after 400 years
of suffering,

448
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,880
don't you think Black people
have a right

449
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,830
to enjoy the fruits
of their labor?

450
00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:25,000
And now we're supposed
to spend more time

451
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,080
cleaning up messes
we didn't make?

452
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:32,330
Does that sound right to you...
as a strong Black man?

453
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:33,580
Say no more.

454
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:36,500
Sorry, Junior, but this
strong Black man's

455
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,620
going with his grandma.

456
00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:38,790
Let's ride dirty.
Mm-hmm.

457
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:41,580
For my brothas!
That's it, baby!

458
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:42,750
Oh, hey, Grandma.

459
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,580
On our way there,
can we both litter?

460
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:48,120
Oh...absolutely.

461
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,540
[ Exhales deeply ]

462
00:17:49,540 --> 00:17:51,790
Ha! And then there was one.
[ Laughs ]

463
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:53,580
Hey, babe?
Man on TV: ...will return
after these messages.

464
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:56,460
[ Television clicks off ]

465
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,540
What were you watching?

466
00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,750
"Sixteen Candles."

467
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:02,710
[ Gasps ]
Oh, you mean the movie...
Ohh.

468
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:04,670
...where they play the gong

469
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:07,670
every time
the Asian character enters?

470
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,880
Yes.
Mm-hmm.

471
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,830
And that other guy just gave
his drunk girlfriend to a nerd.

472
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,830
It's horrible!
[ Chuckles ]

473
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:18,460
I loved this movie
when I was a kid.

474
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:19,750
It was the first time
I saw a story

475
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,880
about an awkward teenage girl
that was like me.
Oh.

476
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,330
I just don't feel ready
to give it up.

477
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:28,540
Ugh! I'm a monster!

478
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,540
Hey, hey, hey, babe.
Mnh?

479
00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:32,880
I hate this.
[ Groans loudly ]

480
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,880
I just wanted to
knock you down a peg.

481
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,290
I didn't -- I didn't
mean to break you.

482
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:40,830
You didn't break me.

483
00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:44,960
It was that mom at the park
talking about plastic.
[ Sighs ]

484
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,040
And the thought of all those
parents coming over here

485
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,000
to Devante's birthday party
and judging me

486
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,750
because of the water pistols
and the ponies.

487
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,330
So you know what I did?

488
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:55,920
I judged you.
Hmm.

489
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,830
I made you feel bad
to make myself feel better,

490
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:03,460
and for that...[sighs]
I am sorry, my husband.

491
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,580
I am sorry.

492
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:06,670
You know what, my wife?

493
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:08,620
You're still a better person
than me.

494
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:10,670
You don't have
to say that.
No, it's true, babe.

495
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,960
You are the moral compass
of our family,

496
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,790
and I need you to be that for
all of us, especially for me.

497
00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:18,460
It's why we work.

498
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:21,420
[ Clicks tongue ]

499
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:29,540
So you're saying that even
if I drive my big truck to work,

500
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:30,710
I'm still better than you?

501
00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:32,750
That's exactly
what I'm saying.

502
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,880
What if I go
to the drive-thru

503
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,250
and order something
with bacon on it?

504
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:36,920
Still better.

505
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,710
What if I swerve close
to a cyclist just to scare them?

506
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,670
Now you're getting
on my level.

507
00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:44,330
Seriously?
Yeah.

508
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:45,460
I've done it a few times.

509
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,000
[ Both laugh ]

510
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,620
Ruby: [ Laughing ]
That was the best.

511
00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:52,920
We had to stop
for gas three times.

512
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,790
[ Laughs ]
Yeah. The coolest part
was passing by

513
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:57,540
all those people we could've
picked up but didn't.

514
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:59,620
Living our best lives,
huh, baby?

515
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,790
Mm-hmm.
If it were up to Junior,

516
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:04,790
he would have us get out
and push our way home.

517
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:07,540
You know what?
I'm out, Grandma.

518
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,710
You win.

519
00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:11,620
No one is gonna
change your mind.

520
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:12,790
And maybe you're right.

521
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:15,790
Maybe I should start
living like you --

522
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:18,750
in the moment
with no concern

523
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,580
for the next generation's
future.

524
00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:24,250
Here.
Keep an eye on your grandson.

525
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:24,960
Come on, guys,

526
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,330
let's go throw some batteries
in the regular trash!

527
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:32,290
[ Keys jingle ]

528
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,250
That guy, huh?

529
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:36,290
[ Chuckles ]

530
00:20:36,290 --> 00:20:37,420
Ooh.

531
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,120
Don't look at me like that.

532
00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,790
Of course
I want a nice planet

533
00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,620
for the next generation
to live on,

534
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:49,790
but don't I deserve to enjoy
my hard-earned freedoms?

535
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:53,420
Ohh...you got me there, now.

536
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,580
I'm being selfish.

537
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,580
Okay, Devante.

538
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,080
I'm gonna do better for you.

539
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,960
I'm gonna even start turning
my car off when I get home.

540
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,620
I don't need the heater
running all night.

541
00:21:05,620 --> 00:21:07,670
But I can take those
five minutes

542
00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:09,500
and warm it up
in the morning.

543
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:10,620
How 'bout that?

544
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,830
[ High-pitched voice ]
What about the plastic bags,

545
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:14,580
Grandma Ruby?
[ Laughs ]

546
00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:16,710
Don't push it, Junior!

547
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,380
[ Laughs ]