1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,250 Dre: As a parent, you want to protect your baby 2 00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:04,750 from everything. 3 00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:06,750 Like stairs... 4 00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:09,210 Poison... 5 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,460 And White people trying to touch their hair. 6 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:11,290 It's beautiful. 7 00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:13,750 [ Indistinct murmuring ] 8 00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:15,750 But once they hit middle school, 9 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,380 the biggest thing you have to protect them from 10 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:19,670 is themselves. 11 00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:22,460 Jack: Jack Johnson, cinnamon challenge, 2019. 12 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:25,080 Esskeetit! 13 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,830 [ Coughing ] 14 00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:29,750 Damn it, Jack! 15 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,290 I'm Jack Johnson, 16 00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:33,750 and this is the flu season challenge. 17 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,670 Esskeetit. 18 00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:37,960 [ Moans ] 19 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,710 [ Thermometer beeps ] 20 00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:41,250 Damn it, Jack! 21 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,170 2019 Nitro Circus Challenge! 22 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:47,040 Esskeetit! 23 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:49,790 [ Shouts ] 24 00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:51,380 [ Crashes ] 25 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,540 [ Groans ] Damn it, Jack! 26 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:55,670 [ Weakly ] Did I esskeetit? [ Tires squeal ] 27 00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:57,580 So I was on high-alert 28 00:00:57,580 --> 00:01:01,000 for situations where Jack could get himself into trouble. 29 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,790 Guess who got new outfits 30 00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,880 for the school dance! 31 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,170 I don't know why she does that. It's me and Jack. 32 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,580 It's gonna be so much fun. 33 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:10,790 Mm-hmm. 34 00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:13,210 No. It's not. 35 00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:14,670 Because I'm chaperoning. 36 00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:16,580 Esskeetit! Esskeetit! Esskeetit! Esskeetit! 37 00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,040 Esskeetit! 38 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,330 ♪♪ 39 00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:26,080 I-I'll pay you $50 cash if you don't chaperone. 40 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,500 You protesting only tells me 41 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,120 that you plan on doing some dirt at the dance. 42 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,040 You played yourself. 43 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,210 Damn it, Jack. 44 00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:36,380 Okay, Dad, if you're not going 45 00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,960 to back out of it for him, just do it for me. 46 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,880 If you show up dancing and being all you, 47 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,880 the kids at school will treat me like Jack. 48 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,540 [ Sighs ] Baby girl, we all have a price to pay for Jack, 49 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:46,710 and sadly, this is yours. 50 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:47,960 It's the Jack Tax. 51 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,040 [ Sighs ] Mom... 52 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,040 Don't worry sweetie. I got you. 53 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,540 [ Sighs ] Thank you. 54 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:53,210 So glad I have one parent who gets it. 55 00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:54,580 Hey. Come on, Jack. 56 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,120 Let's go try on your outfit, and I'll tell you 57 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,670 what's gonna get you roasted at the dance. Let's go. 58 00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,250 I think his outfit is very nice. 59 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,460 Dre, I think maybe 60 00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:06,040 you should pass on the chaperoning. 61 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,380 I don't want you to embarrass Diane. 62 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:09,500 I get that, but I'm worried about Jack. 63 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:10,920 I know. Someone needs to be around 64 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,880 to keep an eye on him during his experimental phase, 65 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,290 especially at a private school dance 66 00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:16,960 where there's drugs, alcohol, 67 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,500 and all kinds of other stuff. 68 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,210 You're right. You should be there to look out for Jack. 69 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:22,420 Thank you. 70 00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:24,120 But you cannot -- 71 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,500 under any circumstances -- 72 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,040 dance. What? 73 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,540 I will not let you embarrass Diane. 74 00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,250 But what if they play my jam? No. 75 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,790 What if there's a circle 76 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:36,540 with no one in the middle? No. 77 00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:39,460 What if the spotlight hits me just right? 78 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,500 No! 79 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,880 Fine! 80 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,880 I won't dance! Thank you. 81 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,670 But just know -- 82 00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:48,330 you have robbed these kids of beauty. 83 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:49,290 ♪ Unh ♪ 84 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,210 Mm. 85 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,750 Okay, date night! 86 00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,460 What do you want to watch? 87 00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:58,830 What do you want to watch? 88 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,710 Let's say what we want to watch at the same time. 89 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,040 Both: "A Star is Born." 90 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,960 Oh, God, I love us. 91 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,960 Listen, have you -- Hey, hey, hey! 92 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,080 Make room for Jesus. 93 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,710 Mm-hmm. 94 00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:14,880 Mnh-mnh! 95 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,620 Jesus likes to stretch out. 96 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,000 Uh-huh. 97 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,670 Yeah, yeah, well, that's more like it. 98 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,710 And, Junior, have you seen Devante's Bubbasnug? 99 00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:28,080 I'm asking 'cause you're really the only one 100 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,380 looking after that child. 101 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:30,330 Bubbasnug? 102 00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:32,580 It's a blankie and pacifier in one. 103 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,040 Genius collab. He had it when we were at the par-- 104 00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:37,670 [ Whispering ] Oh, no. 105 00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:38,710 We must have left it there. 106 00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:39,830 He can't fall asleep without it. 107 00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,500 Aw, poor little guy. 108 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,330 It's his favorite thing in the world. 109 00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:44,670 We have to go back and look for it. 110 00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,330 Let me grab my stuff. Okay. 111 00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,790 And then we can get back to doing 112 00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,540 what we were doing. 113 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:52,330 You better not get back to doing what you were doing. 114 00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:55,500 Mm-hmm. 'Cause Black Jesus sees you everywhere! 115 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,920 Uh-huh. 116 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,290 So my plan was to lock down Jack 117 00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,380 and not embarrass Diane, 118 00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,040 as if I even could. 119 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,710 Hello, Jack's dad. Hello, Diane. 120 00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:07,500 You don't know me, 121 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,290 and I don't know you. 122 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,330 Yes, just continue to lay low for me, 123 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,080 or even leave. 124 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,540 Whatever feels right. Okay. 125 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:16,670 She doesn't get it, 126 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,290 but I bet you're glad I'm here. 127 00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,580 Always happy to have a parent help out. 128 00:04:21,580 --> 00:04:23,580 Yeah, well, but these other parents aren't like me. 129 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,670 I know the difference between a flash drive 130 00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:29,000 and a [quietly] vape pen. 131 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,040 Do you? 132 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,710 [ Scoffs ] Flash drive. 133 00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:35,960 This is the key to my Civic, Mr. Johnson. 134 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,710 Okay. [ Chuckles ] 135 00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:42,170 Is that a glitter bomb? No, 136 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,120 it's two glitter bombs. 137 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,080 [ Both laugh ] So, what are you boys doing? 138 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,170 Nothing. 139 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,670 Yeah, these are -- 140 00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:51,710 are -- are dance s-sticks. 141 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:53,000 Really? 142 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,540 Give them to me. 143 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:56,120 Give them to me. 144 00:04:57,540 --> 00:04:59,960 Ha! So you thought you could pull one over on me? 145 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,830 Please. 146 00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:05,250 I'm undefeated against children. 147 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:07,580 [ Shrieking ] Esskeetit! 148 00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,540 [ Laughs ] 149 00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:10,750 DJ: Uh-oh! 150 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,330 Look like we got a parent on the floor! 151 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:15,080 ♪ Let me see you pop them things ♪ 152 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,620 ♪ Shake your... doo doo brown ♪ Oh, that's -- 153 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,620 that's my jam. 154 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:19,330 Come on, Dad. You know you want it. 155 00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,460 No, no, no, no, no, man. 156 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,040 Let the kids dance. It's their night. 157 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,290 ♪ I wanna rock my man ♪ 158 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,290 ♪ I wan', I wanna rock my man ♪ 159 00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,620 ♪ I wanna rock my man ♪ Uh, maybe it's my night, too. 160 00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:28,750 [ Chuckles ] 161 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,330 All right, come on, y'all! 162 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:34,000 Come on! Ha, ha! 163 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,540 It's a party now! Come on, party! 164 00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,170 Party! 165 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,880 ♪ Man, man, m-m-m-man ♪ 166 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,880 ♪♪ 167 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,830 God is real. 168 00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,750 ♪ Let me hear you say ♪ 169 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,290 ♪ "Hey, hey, and more hey" ♪ Come on. Ride the pony! Come on! 170 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:50,290 Ride the pony! Come on! 171 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:52,380 Ride the pony! Ha, ha! 172 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,120 ♪ Let me hear you say ♪ Come on! 173 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,670 Whoo! Yeah! 174 00:05:57,670 --> 00:06:01,540 [ Applause ] Thank you. Thank you very much. 175 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,210 ♪ Doo doo brown ♪ ♪ Doo doo brown ♪ 176 00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,210 ♪ Doo doo brown ♪ Diane? 177 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,710 ♪ Doo doo brown ♪ ♪ Doo doo brown ♪ 178 00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:08,710 ♪ Doo doo brown ♪ Man, why'd you make me dance? 179 00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:10,170 Diane! 180 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,670 I'm sorry I embarrassed you! 181 00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:14,880 ♪♪ 182 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,250 ♪ Shake your things, baby ♪ [ Exhales deeply ] 183 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,080 ♪ Shake your things, baby ♪ 184 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:18,920 ♪ Shake, shake them things, baby ♪ 185 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,710 Diane? 186 00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:21,750 Dad?! 187 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,580 Noooooo! 188 00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:29,120 Mr. Johnson, 189 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,880 I'm concerned about your abilities as a chaperone. 190 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,080 [ Whimpering ] So am I. 191 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:42,880 ♪♪ 192 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,460 Mason: No one feels like talking, huh? 193 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,540 That's okay. I'm totally fine with silence. 194 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,960 Dr. Goldberg says I don't have to narrate everything. 195 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,380 Hey, did you hear 196 00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,790 that there were some kids making out? 197 00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:59,290 [ Whimpers ] 198 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:01,750 I wonder if there's some pictures of that. 199 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,170 That'd be nice to see. 200 00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,920 Oh, but then again, 201 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,120 I also think that young lovers deserve privacy. 202 00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,460 Mason? Mm-hmm? 203 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,330 How about we, uh, don't talk? 204 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:15,330 You got it. 205 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,250 Does this car have air bags? 206 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,830 Mason, I said please don't talk! 207 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,420 [ Door opens ] Hi! 208 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,210 Dre: Go upstairs, and don't come out until I figure out 209 00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,420 what to do with both of you. 210 00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,830 Go! 211 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,290 What happened? Why are you back so soon, 212 00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:35,080 and why -- why do you have pit stains? 213 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,620 Did you dance? 214 00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,580 You know who you married. 215 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,040 I'm never gonna dance again. 216 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,500 Your son set off a glitter bomb... 217 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,670 [ Groans ] ...and your daughter -- your -- 218 00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:48,620 [voice breaking] your daughter, she broke my heart. 219 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,170 How? [ Whimpers ] 220 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,710 I saw her kissing a boy! 221 00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:56,880 Oh! 222 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,670 That is so exciting! 223 00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:00,750 Oh, my God! 224 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:03,420 What a moment! It's not a moment, Bow! 225 00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,250 It was gross. Oh, come on. 226 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,750 It was a head-wobbling, 227 00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:09,170 open-mouth, public slob down. 228 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,960 How long were you watching? 229 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,080 Long enough. I saw everything. 230 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,960 Damn it! I should've never got that LASIK. 231 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,380 Dre, Diane kissing a boy 232 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,330 is normal and healthy. 233 00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,380 We -- We should be excited for her, 234 00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,580 not shaming her. 235 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,460 That does not even sound right, Bow! What? 236 00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:30,250 Public kissing is how a girl gets a reputation. Oh, my God. 237 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:33,580 And it's my job to make sure she does not become "that girl." 238 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,960 That kind of talk 239 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,790 is going to make her feel ashamed about her body 240 00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:44,210 and about kissing and about natural exploration. 241 00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:47,170 Will you please stop talking, Bow? No, you stop talking, Dre! 242 00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:50,040 I am gonna go and reassure Diane 243 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,580 about this exciting and special night 244 00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:56,750 that you have made very, very weird. 245 00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,960 Unbelievable. 246 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,960 Diane, Mommy's coming! 247 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:06,920 ♪♪ 248 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,580 [ Exhales deeply ] 249 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,500 ♪♪ 250 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,830 I'm Devante. I'm a toddler. 251 00:09:12,830 --> 00:09:15,920 The natural flow of the park sends me in... 252 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,080 this direction! 253 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,960 [ Grunts ] 254 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,120 Come on, Bubbasnug. 255 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,210 Ah, boom! 256 00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:23,420 Found it! Really? 257 00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:29,250 No-- Oh, it's just a gently used diaper. 258 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:32,420 Okay, that's the third diaper you've found. 259 00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,670 Can we just run and get him a new pacifier? 260 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,460 [ Scoffs ] Pacifier? 261 00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:38,750 You think I've been acting like a jerk 262 00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,920 for a pacifier? 263 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,380 No, he needs his Bubbasnug. 264 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,920 You know what we should do? 265 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,460 Break into the Bubbasnug factory... Get in the car... 266 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,830 ...in Fontana. ...and go home. 267 00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:50,670 I thought we were gonna say the same thing. 268 00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,420 Look, Junior, 269 00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,830 I haven't said anything, but every date night, 270 00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:56,880 something like this comes up. 271 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,250 Last week, we missed the burger pop-up 272 00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,210 because you had to watch Devante. 273 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,710 Dad had Clipper tickets. 274 00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:03,380 Against Charlotte! 275 00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:05,330 He needed a night! So do we! 276 00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,420 I blew off my friends to hang out with you. 277 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,380 I don't care about this stupid Bubbasnug. 278 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,960 Wow. That says it all. 279 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,620 That says what? 280 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:14,920 That you're like that. 281 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,960 That I'm "like" what? 282 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,960 ♪♪ 283 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,250 Hi. 284 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,960 Is Dad ever gonna talk to me again? 285 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,420 Of course he is. 286 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,380 Your dad and I are so excited for you. 287 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,790 That's not true. 288 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,710 He wouldn't look at me the whole way home. 289 00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:36,620 Honey, look, your dad is just hung up 290 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:39,880 on the fact that he still sees you as his little girl. 291 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,460 But, sweetheart, 292 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:45,290 what you did is completely natural for a kid your age. 293 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,540 Seriously. 294 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:50,460 And I'm here so you can tell me all about it, okay? 295 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,460 I'm your sounding board. Okay. 296 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:55,040 So, what's his name? 297 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,790 Jalen. Jalen! 298 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,330 What? [ Giggles ] 299 00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:00,710 He sounds so cute. Is he cute? 300 00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,460 Yeah. [ Chuckles ] I knew it. 301 00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:05,080 I have never known an ugly Jalen. What else? 302 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,710 He's in eighth grade. Okay. 303 00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,170 He's on the debate team. That's how we met. 304 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:09,620 So he's smart. Mm-hmm. 305 00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,460 Nice. I love it. What else? 306 00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,330 Well, he's the lead in the spring musical. 307 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:16,880 [ Gasps ] Show biz. Okay, okay. 308 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,000 So, how did this whole thing unfold? 309 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,620 Well, we met up at the dance... Okay. 310 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:24,540 Hey, Diane. 311 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:25,460 Hi. 312 00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,540 You look great. 313 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,620 Thanks. 314 00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,920 You, too. Yeah, but you look better. 315 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,120 [ Both chuckle ] 316 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,420 ...and... 317 00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:36,710 then we kissed. 318 00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,790 [ Crying ] Oh, my God. 319 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:45,250 Are you okay? Yes, tell me more. 320 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,380 So Bow was trying to get me to see Diane in a new light, 321 00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,330 but I was struggling. 322 00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:54,380 It was my instinct to protect my little girl, 323 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,420 find out who this boy was, 324 00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:59,620 and how long it had been going on. 325 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:02,670 But maybe Bow was right. 326 00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:05,000 Nope. Bow was wrong. 327 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,920 Who is the boy?! 328 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,960 What is his name?! 329 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,250 Uh-uh-uh, I don't know! 330 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:12,460 Uh-uh-uh, figure it out, Glitter Bomber! 331 00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:16,670 You are staring at six months hard no-screen time. 332 00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:19,080 I'm not rolling over on my twin. 333 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,080 So you're good with not being able to upload 334 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,040 your idiotic challenge videos. 335 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,790 Whoa, whoa, whoa, th-that's my brand. 336 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,750 Give...me...a...name!! 337 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,380 Okay, okay, Jalen -- 338 00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:33,460 Jalen Hunter! 339 00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:34,750 Good. 340 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,790 Now, how long has this been going on? 341 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,750 Uh, I don't know, 342 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,250 probably since she and Ricky broke up. 343 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:43,080 Ricky? 344 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,580 There's another boy?! 345 00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:49,710 Oh, God. I've said too much. 346 00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:51,880 Oh, she's gonna kill me and make it look like an accident. 347 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,170 Oh, you've got to tell her I-I didn't break easy, 348 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,460 pl--please -- Shut up! 349 00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,170 Eight months no screen time now. 350 00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:00,290 We don't like snitches. 351 00:13:00,290 --> 00:13:01,500 What? 352 00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,290 [ Door opens ] 353 00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,710 Damn it, Jack. [ Door slams ] 354 00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:08,500 Well, excuse me for being a Black man in America 355 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,790 trying to do right by a kid who's not my own. 356 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,210 Exactly! He's not your own. 357 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,830 I didn't sign up to date a single father. 358 00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,540 Didn't sign up for this? 359 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,960 Wow. It -- It feels like you've had that one 360 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,540 loaded up for a while. 361 00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,290 You know what? 362 00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:25,000 I don't think this is gonna work out. 363 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:33,620 ♪♪ 364 00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,330 This is so nice. Mm-hmm. 365 00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:39,330 Just sitting here, relating, 366 00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:41,000 being in your safe space. 367 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,500 Thanks, Mom. Yeah. 368 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,120 You know, all my friends are jealous of me. 369 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,960 Jealous of the bond that we have. 370 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,420 It's about honesty 371 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,920 and keeping that door open. 372 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,750 Mm-hmm. [ Drill whirring ] 373 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,540 What is that? 374 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:55,960 [ Thud ] [ Gasps ] 375 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,170 Dad?! 376 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,460 Dre, what are you doing?! 377 00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,330 I'm doing what I need to do to protect my daughter. 378 00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:02,460 And that means no more privacy, 379 00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:04,750 because it's clearly shown to me 380 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,000 that you've had too much of it! 381 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,420 All she did was kiss a boy. 382 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,460 Oh, really? 383 00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:12,670 Did she tell you about Ricky? 384 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,210 Who's Ricky? Sweetheart? 385 00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:20,000 Sweetie? Who -- 386 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,080 Who's Ricky?! 387 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,040 He was a guy I used to hang out with. 388 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,580 Okay, wait a minute. 389 00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:32,580 Did you or did you not 390 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,790 have your first kiss with Jalen? 391 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,080 I mean... 392 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,960 [ Drill whirring, Dre groaning ] 393 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,000 I can't believe this! 394 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,170 You let me believe 395 00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:47,210 that Jalen was your first kiss! 396 00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:49,250 What else are you not telling me? 397 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,960 Mom, it's not like that. 398 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,500 So you didn't have a boyfriend that you kept hidden from us? 399 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,000 I mean... 400 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,420 Oh, my God. 401 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:58,880 I thought we were connecting! 402 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,790 I thought I was your safe space! 403 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,880 Hold my gun, Bow. Hold my gun. 404 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,830 [ Drill whirs ] Okay, Diane. This is it! 405 00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:06,750 No more boys! 406 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,790 No more privacy! 407 00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,790 You are living your life out in the open. 408 00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:13,620 You are living in piles now, young lady! 409 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,330 Mom, are you really going to let him do this?! 410 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,830 Yes, I am! And I am gonna get involved. 411 00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,120 No more safe spaces for you. 412 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,210 You give me your phone. 413 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,080 It's right there. 414 00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,920 Give me your burner. 415 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,750 What's a burner? 416 00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:27,710 Don't insult me. 417 00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:33,750 Come on! 418 00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:39,170 [ Drill whirring, phone cracks ] 419 00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:43,710 [ Sighs ] 420 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,330 ♪♪ 421 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:46,880 [ Belt jingles ] 422 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,080 I can't believe it's come to this. What? 423 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,420 I don't want to go through Diane's phone. 424 00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:53,380 W-Why did we never have this problem with Zoey? 425 00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:55,790 That's because Zoey never kissed a boy. 426 00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:58,000 You know Zoey's done a lot more than kiss a boy. 427 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,540 Mnh-mnh. We had a huge fight about it 428 00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:00,880 last year, Dre. You know what? 429 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,620 I blocked that entire period from my memory. 430 00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:04,710 [ Quietly ] Of course you did. 431 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,500 Lost a lot of things. 432 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,210 Like, I can't remember who won March Madness 433 00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:10,500 or Devante's first steps, but you know what? 434 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,120 [ Glass thuds ] [ Inhales sharply ] 435 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,380 It was worth it. 436 00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,000 Maybe it's because Zoey always acted 437 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,170 like she had everything under control, you know? 438 00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:20,420 She -- Like, she never needed my help, 439 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:23,670 but Diane always comes to me with this kind of stuff. 440 00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:25,250 Okay, baby, if she's not gonna talk to you, 441 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,580 maybe we should just lock her down. 442 00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,790 What? She is just a little girl. 443 00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:30,620 Dre... Is she? 444 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,210 She's 13. 445 00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:35,380 When I was 13, I was managing an Arby's. 446 00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:38,380 Yeah. We baby our kids longer than we used to. 447 00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,750 The twins are our babies. 448 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,960 They were your babies. That's your problem. 449 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,790 You keep seeing them for who they were, 450 00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,380 not for who they are. 451 00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:50,170 Now, they're in separate rooms. 452 00:16:50,170 --> 00:16:51,920 Diane's had her period, 453 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,000 and Jack has a training mustache. 454 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,880 You know what? You're right. 455 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,250 I know the kids are getting older, 456 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,580 and I'm okay with that. I just -- 457 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,540 [ Sighs ] I just wish Diane 458 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,250 wouldn't keep these kinds of things from me. 459 00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:06,540 Oh, so when you were her age, 460 00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:09,080 you told your mom about all the boys you were with? 461 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,250 Oh, no. And you're still close with her... 462 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:13,250 Yeah. ...even though she's terrible. 463 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:15,380 Oh, my God. 464 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,750 Look, I don't know if I can keep her safe 465 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,380 if she doesn't tell us stuff. 466 00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:21,620 If y'all keep acting all crazy, 467 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,000 she's gonna tell you less. 468 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,580 Now, like it or not, she's gonna have a door, 469 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,500 and it's up to y'all 470 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,000 whether it's the door to her room 471 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,920 or the door to her heart. 472 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,000 Okay? Mm. 473 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,120 What are you doing? 474 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,540 Why are you reading? Jack: [ Sighs ] 475 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,120 Dad banned me from screens, 476 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,580 so I got into Grandma's books. Mm. 477 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,830 Did you know that women have rich inner lives? 478 00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,830 And a married man's never gonna leave his wife? 479 00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,250 You know, Jack? 480 00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:55,040 I, too, have been waiting to exhale. 481 00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:58,830 [ Exhales sharply ] 482 00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:00,620 Niecy dumped me. Hang on. 483 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,580 Let me get into real-talk position. 484 00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:07,290 [ Sighs ] 485 00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:08,120 You know, I don't know what went -- 486 00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,710 I don't know what went wr-- 487 00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:14,500 [ Grunts ] 488 00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,960 Proceed. 489 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,250 I don't know what went wrong, you know? 490 00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,380 I took her to the park in the middle of the night, 491 00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:26,170 we hopped in the sand, and I made her look 492 00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,620 for Devante's Bubbasnug for two and a half hours. 493 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,540 Mm. 494 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,040 Huh, you know, now that I put it all together, 495 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,460 I was being a little crazy. 496 00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:36,880 I'm gonna call her and patch it up. 497 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,290 No, no, no, no. 498 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,290 You weren't being crazy. 499 00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,540 You were just being Junior. 500 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:45,210 Are you going to be somebody else just for her? 501 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,620 Look... 502 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:50,880 when Gloria finally found a man that accepted her 503 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,420 for who she was, she found happiness. 504 00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,080 That's what I want for you. 505 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,380 I want that for me. Then what you need to do 506 00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,620 is put that phone down 507 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,000 and get into these books, playboy. 508 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,960 Knock, knock. 509 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,290 That's what it would sound like 510 00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:11,080 if I didn't take your door off. 511 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,380 Well, I'm not hiding anything in this pile. 512 00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,170 I'm just trying to find a shirt to sleep in. 513 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,960 Baby girl, I'm sorry I went a little nuts. 514 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,540 Me, too. 515 00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:25,000 Just, we thought we had more time. 516 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,920 But you're -- you're a young woman now, 517 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,830 and there's gonna be things in your life 518 00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,790 that I'm not a part of. 519 00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,210 Like kissing. 520 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,330 Well... 521 00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:36,330 it wasn't kissing, babe. Please focus. 522 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,580 I can't get it out of my mind. That's not what we're here to do. All right? 523 00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:40,040 Okay. Okay. Sweetheart. 524 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:45,540 We just need open communication, 525 00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,380 and we can accept that 526 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,040 you're not gonna tell us everything. 527 00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,830 But I really want you to know 528 00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:54,210 that you can tell us anything. 529 00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:57,420 Okay? Okay. 530 00:19:57,420 --> 00:20:00,380 I hear you, and I'll do better. Okay. 531 00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,210 And I promise I will talk to...Mom. 532 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:05,330 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely. [ Exhales sharply ] 533 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,710 That's definitely the better way to go. Works for me. 534 00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:09,710 Mm-hmm. 535 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,000 You know, I think I was actually 536 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,000 mad at you for growing up. 537 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,460 That's not your fault. I can't stop time, baby girl. 538 00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:20,580 I'm sorry. I love you. 539 00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:21,710 Okay? 540 00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:23,210 Okay. Mm. 541 00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,460 And here's your phone. 542 00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:28,750 Jalen texted you four times... 543 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:31,460 Oh! ...to see if you're okay. 544 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,420 He might be a keeper. 545 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:35,920 Okay. And since you're old enough to kiss a boy, 546 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,710 you are old enough 547 00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:40,210 to put your door back on yourself. 548 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:41,380 I've done it before. It's fine. 549 00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:43,040 Yeah, I'll get the drill for you. 550 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,500 You know how to put a door on? 551 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,790 Mm-hmm. Where'd you learn that? 552 00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:47,500 ♪♪ 553 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,040 [ Luke Skyywalker's "I Wanna Rock" playing ] 554 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,460 [ Indistinct shouting ] 555 00:20:58,460 --> 00:21:00,000 I was wrong, Dre! 556 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,250 You should have danced! 557 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,880 You should always dance! 558 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,500 [ Crowd chanting "Dad!" ] 559 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,960 ♪♪ 560 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,830 Aah! 561 00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,040 What you have to ask yourself... 562 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,120 [ Car key clicks ] 563 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,040 ...is this your dream 564 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,040 or mine?