1 00:00:02,888 --> 00:00:04,519 Happy Father's Day! 2 00:00:04,553 --> 00:00:06,955 Boy, you know your daddy ain't here. 3 00:00:06,989 --> 00:00:11,359 And you better eat every bite of that damn food! 4 00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,760 Wasting that cream of wheat. 5 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:15,430 But with a dad who was a bit of a rolling stone, 6 00:00:15,464 --> 00:00:17,231 it wasn't always so easy. 7 00:00:17,282 --> 00:00:19,267 So, when I got a family of my own, 8 00:00:19,301 --> 00:00:22,970 I made a point to be a father my kids could celebrate. 9 00:00:22,988 --> 00:00:26,074 Unfortunately, that didn't matter much, 10 00:00:26,108 --> 00:00:28,943 because Father's Day is a damn joke. 11 00:00:28,977 --> 00:00:32,797 No love, crappy gifts, lonely hobo breakfast. 12 00:00:32,831 --> 00:00:35,016 It pales in comparison to... 13 00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:38,252 - Happy Mother's Day! - Oh! 14 00:00:38,303 --> 00:00:39,754 We made you a trio of omelets. 15 00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:40,855 Guess which one has caviar! 16 00:00:40,906 --> 00:00:42,657 - Which one? - Hint It's all three! 17 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,059 Sorry it's so small. 18 00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:47,912 - The florist only had 60 perfect roses left. - Aww. 19 00:00:47,946 --> 00:00:50,998 Which is why we had to call another florist! 20 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,150 Aw, my babies! 21 00:00:53,202 --> 00:00:54,368 Come get in bed! 22 00:00:54,370 --> 00:00:57,004 Snuggle, snuggle up with mama! 23 00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:58,256 Aww, get in here. 24 00:00:58,307 --> 00:00:59,607 Oh, my God. 25 00:00:59,641 --> 00:01:01,075 Nice. All righty. 26 00:01:01,109 --> 00:01:04,178 But in truth, Father's Day never even had a chance, 27 00:01:04,212 --> 00:01:06,581 coming just weeks after Mother's Day, 28 00:01:06,615 --> 00:01:08,332 cowering in its shadow. 29 00:01:08,383 --> 00:01:10,084 Poor thing was doomed to fail. 30 00:01:10,118 --> 00:01:12,620 Basically, it's the hanukkah of Mother's Day. 31 00:01:12,622 --> 00:01:16,724 Which is why my colleagues and I came up with a new holiday. 32 00:01:16,726 --> 00:01:19,360 Time for the world to say hello to... 33 00:01:19,394 --> 00:01:21,262 What the hell is Daddy's Day? 34 00:01:26,334 --> 00:01:31,203 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 35 00:01:33,275 --> 00:01:35,109 Hurry your asses up! 36 00:01:35,111 --> 00:01:36,243 All right! 37 00:01:36,278 --> 00:01:38,946 The daddy day rundown is about to begin! 38 00:01:38,948 --> 00:01:40,781 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! 39 00:01:40,783 --> 00:01:42,783 Okay, hold... hold... hold... hold on, sucka. 40 00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:44,285 That seat is reserved for Zoey. 41 00:01:44,287 --> 00:01:45,452 She's the oldest, 42 00:01:45,504 --> 00:01:47,788 and I'm gonna need her to run point on this. 43 00:01:47,839 --> 00:01:49,340 You can cop a squat on the floor. 44 00:01:49,374 --> 00:01:51,258 Dre, Dre ...He's not a dog. 45 00:01:51,293 --> 00:01:52,126 Sweetie, come here. Come sit here. 46 00:01:52,128 --> 00:01:53,294 Thanks, Mom. 47 00:01:53,296 --> 00:01:54,295 All right, fine. 48 00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:55,629 Now, look. 49 00:01:55,631 --> 00:01:57,765 We're starting this new holiday initiative at work 50 00:01:57,799 --> 00:01:59,133 called Daddy's Day. 51 00:01:59,184 --> 00:02:02,303 And it's everything that Father's Day is not. 52 00:02:02,305 --> 00:02:05,139 That's why we're having it in the fall... 53 00:02:05,141 --> 00:02:07,941 far from the tyranny of Mother's Day. 54 00:02:07,976 --> 00:02:09,059 I love Mother's Day. 55 00:02:09,110 --> 00:02:10,227 It should get a whole month. 56 00:02:10,278 --> 00:02:12,112 I love mom. Love you, Mom. 57 00:02:12,147 --> 00:02:13,864 Aww, ditto, kiddo! 58 00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:15,315 Who wants ice cream?! 59 00:02:17,319 --> 00:02:19,119 Oh, my goodness. 60 00:02:19,154 --> 00:02:20,404 Focus! 61 00:02:20,455 --> 00:02:23,157 I expect professional-quality cards, 62 00:02:23,208 --> 00:02:25,993 each with a heartfelt message, okay? 63 00:02:25,995 --> 00:02:28,378 Top-shelf gifts. No mugs. 64 00:02:28,413 --> 00:02:33,834 Or ties from my closet that I already own. 65 00:02:33,885 --> 00:02:35,552 All right. 66 00:02:35,587 --> 00:02:39,006 Now, regarding your soundtrack of love for me. 67 00:02:39,008 --> 00:02:40,340 You know, just incorporate my name 68 00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:41,642 into some of the classics, like... 69 00:02:41,676 --> 00:02:45,512 Cele-Dre good times, come on! 70 00:02:45,563 --> 00:02:47,180 Boom, boom, boom, let's cele-Dre. 71 00:02:47,231 --> 00:02:48,181 - I'm sorry... - Whoo! 72 00:02:48,233 --> 00:02:49,850 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 73 00:02:49,852 --> 00:02:51,401 Huh? What? 74 00:02:51,436 --> 00:02:53,654 Sweetheart, did you actually spend time at work 75 00:02:53,688 --> 00:02:55,439 coming up with this ridiculous idea? 76 00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:56,523 - Ridiculous? - Yeah. 77 00:02:56,525 --> 00:02:58,859 This is going to be huge! 78 00:02:58,861 --> 00:03:01,194 We already have a list of potential sponsors 79 00:03:01,196 --> 00:03:02,412 that we're gonna pitch. 80 00:03:02,447 --> 00:03:05,582 Coke owns Christmas. Hallmark owns "Valentime's." 81 00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:06,750 Picture this... 82 00:03:06,784 --> 00:03:10,370 bud light presents Daddy's Day! 83 00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:11,538 Whoo! 84 00:03:11,589 --> 00:03:13,673 - We winning! We winning! - Dre, Dre. 85 00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:15,008 Hmm? 86 00:03:15,042 --> 00:03:17,928 There is nothing wrong with old-school Father's Day. 87 00:03:17,962 --> 00:03:20,881 Yeah, maybe if you're an old-school father 88 00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:22,766 who just came home, downed his scotch, 89 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,267 beat his kids, and went to sleep. 90 00:03:24,302 --> 00:03:26,770 I am so tired of hearing you whine about that. 91 00:03:26,804 --> 00:03:29,940 Oh, and by the way, dummy, this is the dumbest idea 92 00:03:29,974 --> 00:03:31,558 of all the dumb ideas you ever had. 93 00:03:31,609 --> 00:03:32,943 See? 94 00:03:32,977 --> 00:03:35,695 This sweet kiss of sunshine is the dude 95 00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:38,531 that Father's Day was built for. 96 00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:39,733 Me, I'm different. 97 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,568 I take my kids to soccer practice. 98 00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:43,570 I help my children with they homework. 99 00:03:43,621 --> 00:03:46,122 I wore a Bjorn, damn it! 100 00:03:46,157 --> 00:03:47,741 Is that that little half-bra 101 00:03:47,743 --> 00:03:49,242 with the baby hanging out the front? 102 00:03:49,293 --> 00:03:51,544 You know, you really ought to stop mentioning that, son. 103 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:55,415 Ooh, a family meeting. I'll be in my room. 104 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:56,549 Come on, Resheida. 105 00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:57,584 Hey, hey, hey, hold Hold... hold... 106 00:03:57,586 --> 00:03:58,918 where are you going? 107 00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:02,722 - To my room. I... I just said that. - Perfect example. 108 00:04:02,757 --> 00:04:05,341 Had you spoken to an old-school father that way, 109 00:04:05,393 --> 00:04:07,594 he would have knocked all your teeth out. 110 00:04:07,645 --> 00:04:09,562 - Wisdom teeth included. - See? 111 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,398 You know what? I'm gonna call myself an Uber, 112 00:04:11,432 --> 00:04:12,849 'cause it looks like you about to get a whoopin'. 113 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,400 Okay, look. I'll make it quick, all right? 114 00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:15,935 There's a new holiday Daddy's Day... 115 00:04:15,986 --> 00:04:17,437 sweeping the nation, 116 00:04:17,439 --> 00:04:20,240 spearheaded by your main man, driggity. 117 00:04:20,274 --> 00:04:22,442 - Okay, you girls should go. - Yeah. 118 00:04:22,493 --> 00:04:23,776 All right, you have till Sunday! 119 00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,278 No. 120 00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:26,779 Come on! 121 00:04:26,781 --> 00:04:27,780 Dismissed! 122 00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:34,787 Hey, thanks for sticking up for me earlier, Mom. 123 00:04:34,789 --> 00:04:37,790 You know, letting me sit on the couch like a human and all. 124 00:04:37,792 --> 00:04:39,792 Aww, yeah, your dad is hard on you. 125 00:04:39,843 --> 00:04:41,761 - He is, right?! - Yeah. 126 00:04:41,795 --> 00:04:44,264 Me and my blog aren't the only ones who see it. 127 00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:46,132 Mnh-mnh. 128 00:04:46,183 --> 00:04:47,517 Look, take the night off. 129 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,018 Kick your feet up. 130 00:04:49,053 --> 00:04:50,470 I got the laundry. 131 00:04:50,472 --> 00:04:52,305 Really? 132 00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:54,474 You're just buttering me up 'cause you want, like, 133 00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:55,975 a new wizard hat or something. 134 00:04:55,977 --> 00:04:57,310 No, I'm just giving back 135 00:04:57,361 --> 00:04:59,312 to someone who gives me endless love. 136 00:04:59,363 --> 00:05:01,647 Shut it! 137 00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:06,369 Aw, my sweet baby boy. 138 00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:10,923 - You got a good kid there. - I know. 139 00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:13,426 I mean, he's like He's like a peach. 140 00:05:13,428 --> 00:05:14,443 Look at him. 141 00:05:14,478 --> 00:05:16,112 - It just shows he loves you. - Yeah. 142 00:05:16,163 --> 00:05:19,298 No matter how disappointing you are as a mother. 143 00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:28,874 Recycle that. 144 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,477 Aw, man. 145 00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,946 - This makes me want to be a daddy so baddy. - Ugh. 146 00:05:33,997 --> 00:05:35,881 Hey, is it true that babies have to love you, 147 00:05:35,883 --> 00:05:36,966 no matter what? 148 00:05:37,017 --> 00:05:39,318 Depends... can you fill your breasts with milk? 149 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,203 Bruh, just carry a pocket full of sugar with you. 150 00:05:41,238 --> 00:05:43,439 That's why babies call me the snowman. 151 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,074 Guys, this is a great idea, 152 00:05:45,108 --> 00:05:47,543 but where is the global reach, huh? 153 00:05:47,594 --> 00:05:50,696 We have got to cram this idea down the world's throat. 154 00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:53,065 What if we custom-branded the day 155 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,216 for each international market? 156 00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:57,002 Like, St. Dad-Rick's Day in Ireland. 157 00:05:57,037 --> 00:05:58,404 Outstanding. 158 00:05:58,406 --> 00:06:01,690 Get ready for Pop-toberfest, Germany! 159 00:06:04,277 --> 00:06:07,463 What about our low-riding hombres South of the border? 160 00:06:07,514 --> 00:06:09,114 Cinco De Daddio. 161 00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:12,618 Bonjour, Dads-tille Day! 162 00:06:16,523 --> 00:06:18,023 What? I'm sorry. 163 00:06:18,058 --> 00:06:19,675 I thought we were just vomiting out bad ideas. 164 00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:21,727 - Is that not... - Well, of course you don't understand, Lucy, 165 00:06:21,778 --> 00:06:23,495 because you're not a father. 166 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:26,131 So until you have sired two beautiful baby boys, 167 00:06:26,182 --> 00:06:29,068 shipped them away at the age of 3 to a Swiss boarding school, 168 00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:31,704 and then bribed a U.S. senator to get them off 169 00:06:31,706 --> 00:06:34,807 separate but equally gruesome murder charges, 170 00:06:34,858 --> 00:06:37,076 you stand down there, sweet pea. 171 00:06:37,078 --> 00:06:40,579 Dre, how's the casting going for the Daddy's Day commercial? 172 00:06:40,613 --> 00:06:42,064 I haven't found the perfect kid yet. 173 00:06:42,115 --> 00:06:44,333 Dre, we have got to get this right. 174 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,852 Now, if we cannot sell this idea stateside, 175 00:06:46,886 --> 00:06:48,904 how on earth are we gonna sell Rama-dad? 176 00:06:48,938 --> 00:06:50,823 Yeah, Dre, this is important. 177 00:06:50,825 --> 00:06:53,392 Me helping craft out a strong view on fatherhood 178 00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:54,860 would look really good in front of a judge 179 00:06:54,894 --> 00:06:56,195 at my son's custody hearing. 180 00:06:57,163 --> 00:06:59,414 Oh, crap. It was yesterday. 181 00:06:59,466 --> 00:07:01,900 Well, let me go call eustace and tell him goodbye. 182 00:07:04,487 --> 00:07:08,290 Look, what we need is a real kid with real energy, right? 183 00:07:08,341 --> 00:07:09,641 - But not fat. People hate fat. - Ugh. 184 00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:10,692 - Dre. - Hmm? 185 00:07:10,727 --> 00:07:13,128 What about casting your daughter, Scott? 186 00:07:14,247 --> 00:07:16,048 - Zoey? - Whatever. Would she do it? 187 00:07:16,099 --> 00:07:19,568 I mean, she is beautiful and racially ambiguous. 188 00:07:19,619 --> 00:07:22,421 No one can be mad. 189 00:07:22,455 --> 00:07:23,755 Great idea. 190 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:26,525 Offensively put, but I think I can make that happen. 191 00:07:26,527 --> 00:07:27,826 Boom. 192 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:30,128 Shackalacka. 193 00:07:30,179 --> 00:07:33,432 Zoey's face was right, but her attitude was wrong. 194 00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:35,867 If I was going to get her psyched about Daddy's Day, 195 00:07:35,902 --> 00:07:38,470 I need to get her psyched about daddy. 196 00:07:38,504 --> 00:07:40,589 Knock, knock! 197 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:45,660 Who wants a driving lesson in daddy's benz? 198 00:07:45,695 --> 00:07:49,264 Hey, Zoey, will you stop texting and answer me? 199 00:07:49,298 --> 00:07:51,066 Oh, I just texted you no. 200 00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,701 What are you talking about? 201 00:07:52,735 --> 00:07:55,620 You've been begging for more lessons for months. 202 00:07:55,622 --> 00:07:57,622 Yeah, but you're not exactly the best teacher. 203 00:07:57,673 --> 00:07:58,890 You get a little yelly. 204 00:07:58,925 --> 00:08:00,926 Yelling is caring. 205 00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:02,677 Oh, yo, Mr. J., 206 00:08:02,728 --> 00:08:03,895 did Zoey tell you 207 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:05,263 I've been thinking about that Daddy's Day thing? 208 00:08:05,298 --> 00:08:07,566 No, I did not. 209 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,818 Real talk, you need to change it from Sunday to Monday. 210 00:08:09,852 --> 00:08:12,270 But that's Columbus day. Pfft, and? 211 00:08:12,272 --> 00:08:14,656 Everybody knows Columbus day is, like, crazy racist. 212 00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:16,992 So, you just put Daddy's Day in there 213 00:08:17,026 --> 00:08:18,159 and make it a three-day weekend. 214 00:08:18,194 --> 00:08:21,413 Okay. I'm intrigued. 215 00:08:21,447 --> 00:08:22,781 You've got your barbecue on Saturday, 216 00:08:22,832 --> 00:08:25,417 white linen party on Sunday, and then Monday, 217 00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:27,919 you get to kick back and get your daddy on. 218 00:08:27,953 --> 00:08:30,171 Wow. I'm not gonna lie, Resheida. 219 00:08:30,206 --> 00:08:32,507 You've cracked this wide open. 220 00:08:32,541 --> 00:08:33,958 Well, I don't really get to see my dad, 221 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,095 so I think the ones that stick around should be celebrated. 222 00:08:38,714 --> 00:08:39,848 See that, Zoey? 223 00:08:39,882 --> 00:08:41,633 Your sad friend gets it. 224 00:08:41,684 --> 00:08:43,468 Before I got my scholarship to valley prep, 225 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,353 seeing a daddy was like seeing a unicorn. 226 00:08:45,387 --> 00:08:46,805 You know, in my neighborhood, 227 00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:48,723 when there's a man in someone's house, 228 00:08:48,774 --> 00:08:50,308 we usually just call the cops. 229 00:08:50,359 --> 00:08:52,527 Oh, my God. They still do that? 230 00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:55,697 Dad. Can you please go? 231 00:08:55,731 --> 00:08:57,315 And next time you have what looks to be a kale salad, 232 00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:59,651 you may want to floss before you start a conversation. 233 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:05,373 Resheida, how would you like to be 234 00:09:05,407 --> 00:09:08,159 the official face of Daddy's Day? 235 00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:08,910 - Really? - Really? 236 00:09:08,961 --> 00:09:09,994 Yes. 237 00:09:09,996 --> 00:09:12,046 I can't think of anyone more deserving. 238 00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:13,831 Now, let me go get some floss. 239 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:15,416 Then we can go over the storyboards 240 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,250 about the commercial. 241 00:09:16,301 --> 00:09:17,153 Okay. 242 00:09:17,273 --> 00:09:19,491 Harsh lesson for Zoey to learn, 243 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:20,942 but maybe this would teach her 244 00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:23,778 to respect her cool, involved dad. 245 00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,630 Damn. Did I swallow anything? 246 00:09:27,923 --> 00:09:30,971 Help, please! Bags ripping! 247 00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:33,056 All eggs and bottles! 248 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:34,691 What are you doing, Mom? 249 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,593 You don't need to be coming home from work 250 00:09:36,627 --> 00:09:38,261 and starting a whole other job. 251 00:09:38,263 --> 00:09:39,929 Here. 252 00:09:39,931 --> 00:09:41,281 - I made you chamomile. - What? 253 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,216 Aww. 254 00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:45,935 My sweet, little, thoughtful love bug. 255 00:09:46,604 --> 00:09:48,705 Mom! Starving! 256 00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:50,674 I can't even deal. 257 00:09:50,725 --> 00:09:51,975 Understood. 258 00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,994 Hey, guys, your mom's had a long day. 259 00:09:54,045 --> 00:09:55,545 - But... - And no backtalk! 260 00:09:55,547 --> 00:09:58,064 If you only knew how much she does for you! 261 00:09:58,099 --> 00:09:58,982 Now go clean your room! 262 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,784 - But we... - Quietly. 263 00:10:07,158 --> 00:10:09,926 - Nicely done. - I learned from the best. 264 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,344 Aw, sheesh. 265 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,797 Oh, I had a day from hell. 266 00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:16,933 Well, you're standing in a field of corn, 267 00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:18,685 'cause I'm all ears. 268 00:10:18,736 --> 00:10:20,353 Oh, shush. 269 00:10:20,404 --> 00:10:23,673 That is how the world will meet Daddy's Day. 270 00:10:23,675 --> 00:10:25,742 This is... this is dope, Mr. J. 271 00:10:25,776 --> 00:10:27,994 I mean, like, you're a genius or something. 272 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,495 Oh, please. I don't need to hear that crap. 273 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:30,980 But, you know, 274 00:10:31,015 --> 00:10:32,782 you can go ahead and tell other people. 275 00:10:32,816 --> 00:10:34,684 - All right. - All right. 276 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,786 Dre, I got to say, 277 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,355 it's kind of screwed up that you cast Zoey's friend 278 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,658 as the face of Daddy's Day instead of your own daughter. 279 00:10:41,692 --> 00:10:43,476 - No, you know what's screwed up? - Hmm? 280 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,944 The fact that Zoey doesn't appreciate 281 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:46,779 that she has a father. 282 00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,398 All right, when I was growing up, hell, 283 00:10:48,432 --> 00:10:49,632 hardly anybody had a daddy. 284 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,467 What are you talking about? Your dad was around. 285 00:10:51,469 --> 00:10:53,102 Ehh... 286 00:10:53,170 --> 00:10:54,654 But that's what a dad did. 287 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:55,838 I mean, I claimed you, 288 00:10:55,873 --> 00:10:57,290 provided you with food, shelter, clothing, 289 00:10:57,341 --> 00:10:58,474 whooped your ass, and went to the track. 290 00:10:58,476 --> 00:10:59,308 Of course. 291 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,943 I did a year's worth of parenting 292 00:11:00,945 --> 00:11:02,245 in a fraction of the time. 293 00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:03,763 It was surgical daddy. 294 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:06,182 It was deadbeat daddy. 295 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,016 Mm-hmm. 296 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:07,900 Call it what you want. 297 00:11:07,951 --> 00:11:09,519 I got in and I got out 298 00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,437 and saved the mess that you made. 299 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,606 I was the Mariano Rivera of fatherhood... 300 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,158 hall of fame bound. 301 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,626 Oh, you were the worst. 302 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,628 But Dre's one hell of a father. 303 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:20,396 He even wore that bra thing. 304 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,581 Sure did. 305 00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:23,232 Wore it once. Used it wrong. 306 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:24,867 May have cut off Jack's oxygen. 307 00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:26,152 - We don't know. - We know. 308 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,870 - Yeah. We know. - Well, we know. 309 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,372 Look, look, look, look... the point is, 310 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:32,975 you want your kids to acknowledge all you do. 311 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,860 Especially your firstborn baby girl. 312 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,680 Hell, all a dad ever wants is the love of his daughter. 313 00:11:37,714 --> 00:11:38,981 Frankly speaking, 314 00:11:39,016 --> 00:11:44,470 a son is just a disappointing photocopy of yourself. 315 00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:48,574 He wrote that in my 10th birthday card. 316 00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:01,987 There are many ways to say it, 317 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,740 but only one man who deserves to hear it. 318 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,575 Who's your daddy? 319 00:12:06,610 --> 00:12:07,726 Daddy's Day. 320 00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:11,714 Ooh, black man. 321 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:12,848 All right? 322 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,503 - God is on his side. - Outstanding, Dre. 323 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,672 We are gonna make a fortune. 324 00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:22,725 This must be how Jesus felt when he invented Christmas. 325 00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:25,377 Okay, hey, guys, so, without further ado, 326 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,397 I'd like to introduce you... 327 00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:31,417 To the face of Daddy's Day. 328 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:34,403 She exists. I thought she was C.G.! 329 00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:35,604 And to think, 330 00:12:35,606 --> 00:12:37,840 this lovely little angel doesn't even have a daddy 331 00:12:37,874 --> 00:12:39,208 to soak in all that love. 332 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,560 She's a bastard. 333 00:12:41,611 --> 00:12:43,962 She seems so normal and clean, 334 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,265 like a loved girl who will turn out okay, 335 00:12:46,316 --> 00:12:48,584 instead of what's really gonna happen to her. 336 00:12:48,618 --> 00:12:50,836 Okay, now I'm getting sad. 337 00:12:53,257 --> 00:12:55,607 Mom, Resheida just texted me 338 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,826 and said dad's giving her a driving lesson. 339 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,328 Yeah, I know. 340 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,996 But don't let it bother you, sweetie. 341 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,065 I mean, she doesn't have anyone to teach her how to drive, 342 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,067 and you guys both have that test. 343 00:13:05,069 --> 00:13:05,984 Okay. 344 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,970 If that's how you want to play it, 345 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:10,245 game on, square man. 346 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,325 How's the pressure? 347 00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:16,295 Don't hold back, sweetie. Mama's not made of glass. 348 00:13:16,346 --> 00:13:17,879 All right. 349 00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,365 Parallel parking... it's the hardest part. 350 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,017 It's so hard, they didn't even try it 351 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,636 in any of the "Fast and Furiouseseses." 352 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:27,055 - Cool. - Okay, I'm just gonna need you to relax, okay? 353 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,457 - Okay. All right. - All right, go. 354 00:13:28,491 --> 00:13:30,459 All right. Back it up. Cut the wheel to the right. 355 00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:31,543 Cut the wheel down hard! 356 00:13:31,594 --> 00:13:34,196 Stop, stop! It's a high curb, low door. 357 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,415 Oh, lord. Okay. 358 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,499 - Back it up? - Back it on up. 359 00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:38,383 Too fast! 360 00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:39,418 Cut it! 361 00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:40,385 Cut it! 362 00:13:40,436 --> 00:13:42,104 Ain't nothing parallel about this. 363 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,572 Ain't nothing parallel! 364 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:44,623 Did you just get up on the curb? 365 00:13:44,674 --> 00:13:46,341 Aw, baby, that's my rim! 366 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,126 That's my rim! 367 00:13:48,177 --> 00:13:49,611 Not bad. 368 00:13:49,645 --> 00:13:51,363 Hey, I'm sorry I was a little tough on you. 369 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:54,449 I've been told that, you know, I'm a yeller. 370 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,052 Well, yelling is caring. 371 00:13:59,689 --> 00:14:03,124 Uh, Mr. J., you good? 372 00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:04,476 I'm good. It's... it's... 373 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,479 it's just that someone finally gets me. 374 00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:09,497 Watch out. Baby driver coming through. 375 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,519 What up, big D.? 376 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,909 Now, when you see the police, keep going, all right? 377 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,510 Onward to the liquor store! 378 00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:27,782 Zoey had fired her first shot, and it was a good one. 379 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:30,135 Oh, shoot. 380 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:33,021 I left all the hamburger in the car? 381 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,125 That meat has just been festering 382 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,260 in that hot trunk for, like, two days. 383 00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:41,996 Don't worry, Mom. Juju's got this. 384 00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:44,699 I'm s... I'm sorry, who's Who's... who's Juju? 385 00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:46,551 See? 386 00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:49,571 Throw him a little love, he'll do anything for you. 387 00:14:49,573 --> 00:14:51,739 I know. It's like he'd die for me. 388 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,124 Yeah. 389 00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:58,613 But the real question is Is will he kill for you? 390 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,816 Why would that be the question? 391 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,551 There will be a day. 392 00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:05,303 There always is. 393 00:15:05,354 --> 00:15:06,721 A day... 394 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,156 What? 395 00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:10,375 I don't... um, okay. 396 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:15,129 So Zoey and I were locked in a major daddy-daughter standoff. 397 00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,097 Hello, Zoey. 398 00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:17,598 Hello, "Daddy." 399 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:18,816 Hope you're happy. 400 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,436 I failed my driver's Ed test so bad 401 00:15:21,438 --> 00:15:23,905 I'm not allowed to take the real one for three months. 402 00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:26,374 And this is on me how? 403 00:15:26,376 --> 00:15:29,043 Your boy Charlie is a horrible teacher. 404 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:32,046 The instructor said I drove like a drunk person. 405 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,515 She actually gave me a breathalyzer. 406 00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:36,551 Again, I don't see how this is my fault. 407 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,803 You turned down my lessons. 408 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,355 I'm a teenager. That's my job. 409 00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,191 You're supposed to rise above it 410 00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:45,810 and force me to take your lessons like a good dad. 411 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:49,480 But, no, instead, you taught Resheida how to drive 412 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,484 and put her in your stupid commercial. 413 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:54,569 Zoey... 414 00:15:56,705 --> 00:16:00,458 Cele-Dre good times, come on! 415 00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:03,477 It's a cele-dretion. 416 00:16:05,336 --> 00:16:08,198 So I was not really feeling like the number-one dad in the world, 417 00:16:08,232 --> 00:16:10,133 which is not what you want 418 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,918 when you're about to pitch a bunch of sponsors 419 00:16:11,969 --> 00:16:13,853 on the concept of Daddy's Day. 420 00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:16,289 Take it away, Dre. 421 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,791 - Dre. - Hmm? 422 00:16:17,842 --> 00:16:18,541 Here we go. 423 00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:19,842 Oh. Oh, my bad. 424 00:16:19,844 --> 00:16:22,612 Uh, sorry. Okay. All right. 425 00:16:22,646 --> 00:16:23,830 Uh, so, uh... 426 00:16:23,881 --> 00:16:25,014 here we go. 427 00:16:25,049 --> 00:16:29,035 Uh, we've prepared a pitch... 428 00:16:29,086 --> 00:16:31,337 Uh, very big. 429 00:16:31,388 --> 00:16:32,305 Very big. 430 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,274 It appeals to people... 431 00:16:34,325 --> 00:16:35,792 Um... 432 00:16:35,826 --> 00:16:39,479 Mostly men. 433 00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:40,997 Yeah, just... 434 00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:43,416 And the people that they make. 435 00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,601 So I guess we can call them kids. 436 00:16:45,652 --> 00:16:47,453 All right? 437 00:16:47,488 --> 00:16:48,621 All right, let's just... yeah. 438 00:16:48,672 --> 00:16:50,306 Uh... 439 00:16:53,777 --> 00:16:58,014 I got some, um... Focus powder in my office. 440 00:16:58,048 --> 00:17:00,032 Just say the word. 441 00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:02,502 Uh, look... guys, I'm sorry. 442 00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:05,354 Uh, I'm... I'm just a little distracted. 443 00:17:05,389 --> 00:17:06,155 Uh, you see... 444 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,092 I've been using my daughter's friend. 445 00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:12,562 No, no, no, no. Not that way. 446 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:13,829 Not that way. 447 00:17:13,864 --> 00:17:15,298 She's very young. 448 00:17:15,332 --> 00:17:16,599 - No. Dre. No. - Very young. 449 00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:20,469 But she reminds me of my daughter, okay? 450 00:17:20,504 --> 00:17:22,455 And... 451 00:17:22,506 --> 00:17:25,141 She gives me things that my daughter won't. 452 00:17:25,175 --> 00:17:27,576 Okay. I think we've heard enough. 453 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,128 We'd rather not be implicated in this. 454 00:17:31,048 --> 00:17:32,398 I just... 455 00:17:33,183 --> 00:17:34,650 Daddy's Day. 456 00:17:34,652 --> 00:17:36,869 Well, I'm-a go get focused. 457 00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:41,440 I can't believe you passed. 458 00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:44,293 You're gonna have a driver's license and no dad... 459 00:17:44,328 --> 00:17:46,178 living the dream. 460 00:17:46,213 --> 00:17:47,813 Look, anybody is better than my dad. 461 00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:49,698 Okay, I think he follows me on Instagram, 462 00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:51,901 but he hasn't liked any of my pics yet. 463 00:17:51,935 --> 00:17:53,002 Worthless punk. 464 00:17:53,036 --> 00:17:54,303 Listen, Zo-Zo... 465 00:17:54,337 --> 00:17:56,772 Uh, as a son, he's a complete disappointment, 466 00:17:56,807 --> 00:17:58,657 but as a father, you have nothing to complain about. 467 00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:01,293 I mean, if he did the things that he does for you 468 00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:03,846 back in my day, he'd be considered a woman, 469 00:18:03,897 --> 00:18:06,332 so, you know, give him a break. 470 00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:10,302 You fed my babies car meat?! 471 00:18:10,353 --> 00:18:12,655 Well, you were so mad at yourself 472 00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:13,739 for leaving it out there, 473 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,507 I tried to save it so you wouldn't feel bad. 474 00:18:16,877 --> 00:18:18,594 - Junior... - I'm sorry. 475 00:18:18,596 --> 00:18:20,696 - I was just trying to help. - Why?! 476 00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:27,186 You always look so, so, so, so very tired. 477 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:30,289 Oh, well... th-that's very sweet. 478 00:18:30,323 --> 00:18:32,541 Look, Junior, why don't you go upstairs? 479 00:18:32,543 --> 00:18:35,010 Maybe later we can watch a movie together. 480 00:18:35,012 --> 00:18:36,812 Sweet. I love you. 481 00:18:36,846 --> 00:18:38,781 Oh, I love you, too, sweetheart. 482 00:18:38,832 --> 00:18:40,666 Now, that's how you raise a man. 483 00:18:41,785 --> 00:18:43,886 Trust me, it's the best relationship 484 00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:45,354 either of you will ever have. 485 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:48,490 Like me and my Dre. 486 00:18:48,492 --> 00:18:51,126 I remember the first time Dre cooked car meat. 487 00:18:51,128 --> 00:18:52,928 He got so upset, 488 00:18:52,962 --> 00:18:55,781 I let him stay in the bath with me an extra two hours. 489 00:18:55,832 --> 00:18:57,499 No. 490 00:18:57,534 --> 00:18:58,534 No. Okay, no. 491 00:18:58,536 --> 00:18:59,451 No. 492 00:18:59,502 --> 00:19:01,603 The whole Dre-and-Ruby freak show 493 00:19:01,638 --> 00:19:04,740 is not what's happening between me and my boy, okay? 494 00:19:04,774 --> 00:19:05,824 Okay. 495 00:19:05,858 --> 00:19:08,377 Mom? I cued up "Before Sunrise." 496 00:19:08,411 --> 00:19:11,380 We're snuggling in your bed, right? 497 00:19:12,882 --> 00:19:14,733 Oh, God. 498 00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:16,818 Oh, God, I've shown that boy too much love. 499 00:19:16,853 --> 00:19:18,587 - Mm-hmm. - Ugh. 500 00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:20,589 I had dropped the ball at work, 501 00:19:20,623 --> 00:19:23,458 but I wasn't going to keep dropping it at home. 502 00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:26,478 I needed to talk to Zoey, but before I could, 503 00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:27,362 she made her move. 504 00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:29,498 Happy Daddy's Day! 505 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:33,402 Release daddy's pearls of wisdom. 506 00:19:33,436 --> 00:19:35,704 Oh! 507 00:19:35,738 --> 00:19:38,373 Present daddy's feast of strength. 508 00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,374 Wow. 509 00:19:39,425 --> 00:19:40,976 The first two stations of the daddy. 510 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:43,528 Zo-Zo, you pulled all this together for me? 511 00:19:43,579 --> 00:19:46,281 Well, I mean, you're still really embarrassing 512 00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:49,084 and annoying, but... 513 00:19:49,118 --> 00:19:50,852 At least you're here. 514 00:19:50,887 --> 00:19:53,221 Our dad. 515 00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:55,106 - Daddy. - Nope, not happening. 516 00:19:55,157 --> 00:19:56,691 Fair enough. 517 00:19:56,742 --> 00:20:00,712 So, did you find a sponsor for your brilliant little idea? 518 00:20:00,746 --> 00:20:04,199 Long story, but maybe Megan's law. 519 00:20:05,569 --> 00:20:07,869 Damn it, boy! You dropped the ribs?! 520 00:20:07,903 --> 00:20:10,505 Go outside and think about what you just did. 521 00:20:10,539 --> 00:20:13,708 - Mom, I... - Listen to your father. 522 00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,844 And, uh, listen here. 523 00:20:15,846 --> 00:20:18,563 Nothing personal, but from now on, 524 00:20:18,597 --> 00:20:22,434 we're gonna be just a normal mother and son. 525 00:20:22,485 --> 00:20:24,436 Okay? 526 00:20:25,488 --> 00:20:29,357 - Now he'll never kill anyone for you. - What? 527 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:30,992 I didn't... 528 00:20:46,402 --> 00:20:48,353 Left alone all day, 11:59, 529 00:20:48,355 --> 00:20:50,739 here you come with a bottle of scotch. 530 00:20:52,274 --> 00:20:54,609 Damn, I love Daddy's Day. 531 00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,861 - Do you want to have a drink? - Oh, yes, sir. 532 00:20:57,412 --> 00:21:02,084 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net