1 00:00:00,777 --> 00:00:03,941 Dre: It's been said black people have a double consciousness. 2 00:00:03,976 --> 00:00:07,145 We have our mainstream selves to be in "The Man's" world, 3 00:00:07,179 --> 00:00:10,748 and we have our down-home selves for the brothers. 4 00:00:10,783 --> 00:00:13,151 Some of us handle the switch effortlessly. 5 00:00:13,185 --> 00:00:14,152 [Applause] 6 00:00:14,186 --> 00:00:15,620 [Needle scratches] 7 00:00:15,654 --> 00:00:17,355 ♪ Dope boys, my... ♪ 8 00:00:17,389 --> 00:00:18,556 ♪ My... My... ♪ 9 00:00:18,590 --> 00:00:19,624 ♪ Y.G., my... ♪ 10 00:00:19,658 --> 00:00:21,259 Some of us have trouble. 11 00:00:21,293 --> 00:00:22,750 What really happened on that Thursday... 12 00:00:22,870 --> 00:00:26,430 [Insect buzzing] ... Here at Augusta High School that led to Chris Wood's death. 13 00:00:26,465 --> 00:00:28,766 What the [Bleep] is that?! 14 00:00:28,801 --> 00:00:29,967 [Bleep] 15 00:00:30,002 --> 00:00:32,683 I'm dyin' in this [Bleep] country-ass [Bleep] town. 16 00:00:32,803 --> 00:00:35,271 I was always one of those who handled it perfectly, 17 00:00:35,305 --> 00:00:37,440 but no more switching back and forth for me. 18 00:00:37,474 --> 00:00:40,309 From now on, I'm keepin' it real, one hundred... 19 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,345 damn it. I mean, a hunnit. 20 00:00:42,379 --> 00:00:45,515 You may be wondering how I got to this very real place. 21 00:00:45,549 --> 00:00:47,049 Well, if you believe every 22 00:00:47,084 --> 00:00:48,584 Hollywood movie ever made, 23 00:00:48,704 --> 00:00:49,990 the same way any black guy 24 00:00:50,025 --> 00:00:50,991 gets anywhere... 25 00:00:51,026 --> 00:00:52,860 with the help of a white guy. 26 00:00:52,894 --> 00:00:55,663 And for me, it was this white guy. 27 00:00:57,838 --> 00:01:01,588 Synced and corrected by MJ D evil 28 00:01:02,097 --> 00:01:03,931 As a black man in corporate America, 29 00:01:03,966 --> 00:01:05,333 my days are pretty much filled 30 00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:07,201 with a series of awkward handshakes. 31 00:01:07,236 --> 00:01:08,936 - Hey. - There's the fist grab... 32 00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:12,240 the sexy finger lock, 33 00:01:12,274 --> 00:01:13,125 and my favorite... 34 00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:15,546 the half air ball into a full intimate embrace. 35 00:01:15,581 --> 00:01:17,348 - Ahh. - All right, all right. No. 36 00:01:17,382 --> 00:01:18,182 No. 37 00:01:18,216 --> 00:01:19,353 But every once in a while, 38 00:01:19,473 --> 00:01:21,807 something happens that really rattles me. 39 00:01:21,842 --> 00:01:24,376 The awkward one ends up being me. 40 00:01:24,411 --> 00:01:26,078 Andre Johnson, this is Jay Simmons. 41 00:01:26,112 --> 00:01:27,179 Hey, how are you? 42 00:01:27,214 --> 00:01:29,181 - Oh, you're gonna do that, huh? - It's all good. 43 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:31,517 Yeah, Andre's feeling a little under the weather. 44 00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:33,752 It's a light ebola scare, but, uh... ah... 45 00:01:33,787 --> 00:01:35,955 Oh! And this is Charlie Telphy. 46 00:01:35,989 --> 00:01:38,023 - Hey, what up? - Hey. 47 00:01:38,058 --> 00:01:39,258 Ahh. 48 00:01:39,292 --> 00:01:40,993 [Both chuckle] 49 00:01:41,027 --> 00:01:42,494 Unh, unh. 50 00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:45,197 All right. Okay. [Chuckles] 51 00:01:45,232 --> 00:01:46,498 Let me show you. 52 00:01:46,533 --> 00:01:48,500 Charlie... do you know dude? 53 00:01:48,535 --> 00:01:50,402 Nah, just met him? Why? What's up? 54 00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:52,805 There was a spin in your handshake. 55 00:01:52,839 --> 00:01:54,106 Oh, we reversed the spin 56 00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:56,008 so we can get a nice backhand slap before the snap. 57 00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:58,277 - What? - No big deal, Dre. We just felt it. 58 00:01:58,311 --> 00:01:59,845 You know how it is, right? 59 00:01:59,879 --> 00:02:01,246 - Eh? - Yeah, you know how it is. 60 00:02:01,281 --> 00:02:03,793 Guys, although boxable.com is already one of the biggest 61 00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:06,051 e-commerce marketplaces on the web, 62 00:02:06,086 --> 00:02:08,612 they're interested in expanding their customer base, 63 00:02:08,732 --> 00:02:11,267 so Jay's here to see how we can help them 64 00:02:11,301 --> 00:02:13,436 market it to the urban community. 65 00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:14,737 Jay: See, y'all don't know me, 66 00:02:14,771 --> 00:02:17,073 but I don't play none of this Hollywood rah-rah-ish, okay? 67 00:02:17,107 --> 00:02:18,742 But when I heard your urban division was the truth, 68 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:20,195 I had to come check y'all out. 69 00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:21,135 The bottom line is, 70 00:02:21,255 --> 00:02:23,039 we want black folks to start feeling us more. 71 00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:24,226 You feel me? 72 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:25,994 So, tell me why I should get down with you guys 73 00:02:26,029 --> 00:02:28,504 - and help us start getting felt. - Oh, you are gonna get felt 74 00:02:28,624 --> 00:02:31,066 like you were on a Japanese subway at rush hour. 75 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:31,842 [Chuckles] 76 00:02:31,962 --> 00:02:33,523 That's actually not a racist comment. 77 00:02:33,643 --> 00:02:35,477 It's considered rude not to grope 78 00:02:35,512 --> 00:02:37,279 if you're on the Asian subways. 79 00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:39,915 Known fact... per my father. 80 00:02:41,511 --> 00:02:43,279 Mommy, we have to make a living museum 81 00:02:43,313 --> 00:02:45,815 of famous Americans, and we need someone to help us. 82 00:02:45,849 --> 00:02:46,683 What's a living museum? 83 00:02:46,803 --> 00:02:48,204 It's like a costume we wear, 84 00:02:48,238 --> 00:02:50,673 and then we write some stuff that explains who our hero is. 85 00:02:50,707 --> 00:02:52,808 Sounds fun! I'd be happy to help. 86 00:02:52,843 --> 00:02:55,911 No offense, mom, but you're not really that creative. 87 00:02:55,946 --> 00:02:57,179 Or fun to work with. 88 00:02:57,214 --> 00:02:59,442 But I'm sure Zoey and Junior had to do this 89 00:02:59,562 --> 00:03:00,695 when they were our age. 90 00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:02,264 They could be very helpful! 91 00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:03,999 Can't... swamped. 92 00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:06,701 Yeah. Hard pass for me, too. 93 00:03:06,736 --> 00:03:08,069 Okay, well, listen. 94 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,890 - I might not be creative - Or fun to work with. 95 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,544 You made that point, Jack. 96 00:03:12,579 --> 00:03:13,812 But check this out. 97 00:03:13,846 --> 00:03:16,729 Watch what I can do. Zoey, Junior, help them. 98 00:03:16,849 --> 00:03:18,617 - But we really... - Now! 99 00:03:18,651 --> 00:03:20,652 Or I will make you move out! 100 00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:22,948 Not graceful, but effective. 101 00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,735 Very effective. 102 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:27,137 In keeping with your company's ultimate goal 103 00:03:27,172 --> 00:03:30,307 in broadening its market share to include the urban consumer, 104 00:03:30,342 --> 00:03:32,576 Stevens & Lido, with our peerless mastery 105 00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:34,678 of the African-American psychographic, 106 00:03:34,712 --> 00:03:37,214 is uniquely poised to help you gain penetration 107 00:03:37,248 --> 00:03:39,216 into this highly desired community. 108 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,685 Mm. Mm-hmm. 109 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,261 So, is that it? 110 00:03:43,381 --> 00:03:47,051 Uh, we also offer compet... competitive rates 111 00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:48,452 and, uh, day passes to the gym downstairs. 112 00:03:48,572 --> 00:03:50,397 Okay, okay. But that's it, though. 113 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,732 - Uh, yeah. - Okay. 114 00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:55,002 What about you, Cochise? What you got? 115 00:03:55,036 --> 00:03:56,603 [Clears throat] Um... 116 00:03:58,373 --> 00:03:59,706 Uh... [clears throat] 117 00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:01,775 I think y'all should stop leaving stuff 118 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,210 on people's Porches. 119 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,712 Uh, uh, black people don't like stuff left on they Porch 120 00:04:05,747 --> 00:04:07,306 'cause sometimes we don't get our stuff. 121 00:04:07,426 --> 00:04:10,027 I think you should start like a boxable.com 122 00:04:10,062 --> 00:04:12,563 "leave it at your play cousin's" account. 123 00:04:12,598 --> 00:04:14,432 Or like a boxable, 124 00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:17,335 um, "leave it in the bushes" account, you know. 125 00:04:17,369 --> 00:04:20,104 Like, uh, I think about having an in-office fish fry, 126 00:04:20,138 --> 00:04:22,039 but, um, I don't want my cornmeal 127 00:04:22,074 --> 00:04:23,397 being dropped off on my doorstep 128 00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:25,718 'cause I might not never get my cornmeal. 129 00:04:25,752 --> 00:04:26,852 [Chuckles] 130 00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:29,989 My neighbor been stealing my cornmeal. 131 00:04:34,727 --> 00:04:36,361 You see? You see what I'm saying? 132 00:04:36,395 --> 00:04:38,496 - Hmm? What? - You see, that was crazy, man! 133 00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:40,918 Yo, see, my man right here... he gets it. 134 00:04:41,038 --> 00:04:43,573 Black folks don't want their stuff stole. 135 00:04:43,607 --> 00:04:44,741 That's genius, man! 136 00:04:44,775 --> 00:04:47,431 This dude right here... he got his ears to the street. 137 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,819 Well, um, I-I guess we could conduct 138 00:04:49,853 --> 00:04:51,592 targeted algorithmic customer fee... 139 00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:53,613 what? Algo... nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, man. 140 00:04:53,648 --> 00:04:54,814 I want what he said, man. 141 00:04:54,849 --> 00:04:57,283 That's why Charlie is such an important part of the team. 142 00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:59,886 It seems like he's the most important part of the team, man. 143 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,320 Yo, Charlie, can get some of those sunflower seeds, though? 144 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,589 Fo sho'. Uh, I also have chipotle-flavored corn nuts. 145 00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:08,077 Ooh! I love that spicy ethnic food, huh? 146 00:05:08,112 --> 00:05:09,045 No doubt. Blaw! 147 00:05:09,079 --> 00:05:10,813 Yo, man. Bust me a nut. 148 00:05:10,933 --> 00:05:12,389 That did not come out right. 149 00:05:12,509 --> 00:05:14,072 All right, so, look, I want you guys to come up 150 00:05:14,192 --> 00:05:16,527 with a complete marketing pitch by the end of the week, 151 00:05:16,561 --> 00:05:17,761 but nothing corny, okay? 152 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:20,189 Corny? Us? No way. 153 00:05:20,309 --> 00:05:21,465 Charlie, you feel me, right? 154 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,784 Nothing corny, okay? 155 00:05:23,818 --> 00:05:25,352 Yo. 156 00:05:25,386 --> 00:05:26,820 Charlie Doo-wop! 157 00:05:26,855 --> 00:05:29,022 Can you believe this, though? 158 00:05:29,057 --> 00:05:31,425 This white dude is questioning me 159 00:05:31,459 --> 00:05:32,760 about my blackness. 160 00:05:32,794 --> 00:05:34,140 Huh, I wonder what that's like, 161 00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:36,748 somebody constantly questioning your blackness... 162 00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:40,003 Just because you misquoted the lyrics to "Ain't No Fun." 163 00:05:40,038 --> 00:05:41,605 Why would Nate Dogg sing, 164 00:05:41,639 --> 00:05:45,303 "And You Even Lit My Halls," huh? 165 00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,758 Context, Bow. Context. 166 00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:49,159 I'm sorry. I just don't understand 167 00:05:49,194 --> 00:05:50,561 what the problem is with this guy. 168 00:05:50,595 --> 00:05:52,429 He told me not to make it corny. 169 00:05:52,463 --> 00:05:53,230 Okay. 170 00:05:53,264 --> 00:05:53,782 Me. 171 00:05:53,902 --> 00:05:56,387 Well, you do tend to lean towards corniness, son. 172 00:05:56,507 --> 00:05:57,404 What? 173 00:05:57,439 --> 00:05:58,839 Oh, don't look all hurt like that. 174 00:05:58,873 --> 00:06:00,908 Corniness is a side effect of being your mama's child. 175 00:06:00,942 --> 00:06:03,291 Uh, what part of anything that you're saying 176 00:06:03,411 --> 00:06:04,812 shouldn't hurt my feelings? 177 00:06:04,846 --> 00:06:06,780 I'm just saying that this is what happens 178 00:06:06,815 --> 00:06:08,315 when you try to play footsies 179 00:06:08,349 --> 00:06:10,084 in between both worlds for too long. 180 00:06:10,118 --> 00:06:12,252 Take it from me, son You're a sellout. 181 00:06:12,287 --> 00:06:13,087 Sellout! 182 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:14,755 I remember the day it happened! 183 00:06:14,789 --> 00:06:16,323 You stopped saying "nah mean?" 184 00:06:16,358 --> 00:06:18,392 And started saying "you know what I mean?" 185 00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:20,127 Saddest day of my life. 186 00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:22,096 I went from knowing what you were talking about 187 00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:23,497 to thinking you were asking me 188 00:06:23,531 --> 00:06:25,432 if I really knew what you were talking about. 189 00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,567 Damn shame. 190 00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,573 All right. And here, pops. This came for you. 191 00:06:31,272 --> 00:06:32,239 [Coughing] 192 00:06:32,273 --> 00:06:33,407 [Gags] 193 00:06:33,441 --> 00:06:36,476 Internal revenue service, collection division. 194 00:06:36,511 --> 00:06:38,312 It's happening again. 195 00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:41,582 They're gonna put me underneath the jail this time. 196 00:06:41,616 --> 00:06:43,217 What... 197 00:06:44,419 --> 00:06:46,853 The next day, I went in more determined than ever 198 00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:49,289 to show white Jay what black Dre was all about. 199 00:06:49,324 --> 00:06:50,991 Obviously, we've got to generate 200 00:06:51,025 --> 00:06:53,026 a huge social media presence, all right? 201 00:06:53,061 --> 00:06:55,175 Now, if there's one thing I know about black folks, 202 00:06:55,295 --> 00:06:56,328 we love our Twitter. 203 00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:57,730 And big butts. 204 00:06:57,764 --> 00:06:58,798 Big booty! 205 00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:00,866 I'm getting way too comfortable, aren't I? 206 00:07:00,901 --> 00:07:02,668 - Oh, way too comfortable. - I'm sorry. 207 00:07:02,702 --> 00:07:03,836 Yo, Dre, what the deal, dunny? 208 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:05,204 Did you just call me "dummy"? 209 00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:06,906 Nah, I called you "dunny," like dun, 210 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:09,108 like "what the deal, son," but with a "D," though. 211 00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:11,343 Come on, Dre, it's son with a "D." 212 00:07:11,378 --> 00:07:13,395 I mean, this is pretty basic stuff here. 213 00:07:13,515 --> 00:07:15,984 So, uh, listen, man. I-I've been thinking, uh... 214 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,852 I'm not sure you're the right dude 215 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:19,153 to lead up this campaign. 216 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,822 - Excuse me? - I-I'm saying, you know, 217 00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:21,743 I've been watching you, Dre-Dre, 218 00:07:21,863 --> 00:07:24,264 and I'm just... I'm not sure you keep real enough, you feel me? 219 00:07:24,299 --> 00:07:26,033 Hey, Preston, no biggie at all. 220 00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,468 Hey, just circle the wagons 221 00:07:27,502 --> 00:07:29,469 and ring-a-ding-ding your bud back. 222 00:07:29,504 --> 00:07:30,904 Ciao. [Receiver clicks] 223 00:07:30,939 --> 00:07:32,539 Whoo! Okay, home slices. 224 00:07:32,574 --> 00:07:34,474 Oh, I've got the organic humus, 225 00:07:34,509 --> 00:07:36,910 the kettle corn from the farmers' market, 226 00:07:36,945 --> 00:07:38,579 so no one can say that Dre 227 00:07:38,613 --> 00:07:40,781 doesn't get the par-tay star-tayed. 228 00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:51,346 The angle was off when I did that. 229 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:52,743 - Unh. - Josh: Oh. 230 00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:53,830 See? I do it like that. 231 00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,331 See, that dude, Charlie, though? 232 00:07:55,365 --> 00:07:56,799 That dude is wild for the night. 233 00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,701 That dude, he just gets it across the board. 234 00:07:58,735 --> 00:07:59,869 Charlie Telphy? 235 00:07:59,903 --> 00:08:03,039 Come on, man. He takes every other Monday off. 236 00:08:03,073 --> 00:08:04,841 He calls it double Sunday. 237 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,939 [Laughs] Word? He calls it double Sunday. 238 00:08:07,059 --> 00:08:08,360 See, that's branding. 239 00:08:08,394 --> 00:08:10,695 My man right there... he keeps it all the way real. 240 00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,924 Jay, I don't think you know what you're saying, man. 241 00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:15,712 I-I'm from Compton, all right? I keep it one hundred. 242 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:16,930 I don't think you know what you talkin' about. 243 00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:18,751 See, I'm from the Bronx. I'm from the BX, baby. 244 00:08:18,785 --> 00:08:20,786 And it's keeping it a hunnit, not "I keep it one hundred." 245 00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:22,554 - You corny, Duke. - Oh, okay. 246 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,124 Really basic stuff here, Dre. 247 00:08:25,158 --> 00:08:27,226 But you know what? With all due respect, Jay, 248 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,094 I don't think you know who I really am. 249 00:08:29,129 --> 00:08:30,295 Oh, word? 250 00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:31,863 Dre, hey. You were so right. 251 00:08:31,898 --> 00:08:34,146 "The Good Wife" is totally "Girls" meets "Downton Abbey." 252 00:08:34,266 --> 00:08:35,200 Thanks for the reco. 253 00:08:35,234 --> 00:08:36,067 [Chuckles] 254 00:08:36,102 --> 00:08:37,502 I couldn't believe it. 255 00:08:37,536 --> 00:08:38,243 This white dude 256 00:08:38,363 --> 00:08:42,132 was actually thinking of putting Charlie over me. 257 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:46,070 White Jay was going to put Charles in charge of me! 258 00:08:48,035 --> 00:08:51,439 Yo, hot sauce on goldfish? That's genius. 259 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:52,860 I like to call it "hotfish." 260 00:08:52,894 --> 00:08:54,328 Yo, do you ever turn it off? 261 00:08:54,362 --> 00:08:55,262 No. 262 00:08:55,296 --> 00:08:56,063 [Giggles] 263 00:08:56,097 --> 00:08:57,664 Look at those guys. 264 00:08:57,699 --> 00:09:01,435 If Charlie get this account, he'll be my boss. 265 00:09:01,469 --> 00:09:03,203 Can you imagine that? 266 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,107 Two-piece cat, 267 00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:09,276 hush puppies with fries, and 'tatah salad! 268 00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:10,544 We're almost of of slaw! 269 00:09:10,578 --> 00:09:11,512 I said 'tatah salad! 270 00:09:11,546 --> 00:09:12,913 You don't know the difference 271 00:09:12,947 --> 00:09:14,715 between 'tatah salad and cole slaw, Dre? 272 00:09:14,749 --> 00:09:16,250 Man, I really don't think he do. 273 00:09:16,284 --> 00:09:18,151 Could not be more basic. 274 00:09:18,186 --> 00:09:20,153 Aah! 275 00:09:20,188 --> 00:09:21,622 I got to make a big move. 276 00:09:21,656 --> 00:09:23,156 I got it. 277 00:09:23,191 --> 00:09:25,359 I'm gonna invite Jay to my house for dinner. 278 00:09:25,393 --> 00:09:26,493 - Brilliant. - Mm-hmm. 279 00:09:26,527 --> 00:09:28,462 Invite Jay over for a home-cooked meal 280 00:09:28,496 --> 00:09:30,397 to distract him from how corny you are 281 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,366 by using "those people" you live with. 282 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,869 "Those people" are my black family, 283 00:09:35,903 --> 00:09:37,804 the exact demographic that Jay's looking for. 284 00:09:37,839 --> 00:09:38,939 I don't understand. 285 00:09:38,973 --> 00:09:40,874 But I do want to come to dinner. 286 00:09:40,908 --> 00:09:42,476 - Absolutely not. - [Sighs] 287 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:44,211 So, what do you need me to do for your project? 288 00:09:44,245 --> 00:09:46,113 You just sit there and look pretty. 289 00:09:46,147 --> 00:09:47,714 I was really hoping for Junior's help. 290 00:09:47,749 --> 00:09:49,683 What? But why not me? 291 00:09:49,717 --> 00:09:52,986 Well, no offense, but this is an academic project, 292 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:53,987 so... 293 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:56,790 I'm academic. I get almost straight A's. 294 00:09:56,824 --> 00:09:58,191 Yeah, but that's only for looks. 295 00:09:58,226 --> 00:10:00,427 - You don't really care about school. - Junior: Preach! 296 00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:01,628 It's like I always say, 297 00:10:01,662 --> 00:10:03,597 "A's are like the new skinny jeans... 298 00:10:03,631 --> 00:10:04,931 everybody's getting them, 299 00:10:04,966 --> 00:10:07,000 but nobody really looks good in them." 300 00:10:07,034 --> 00:10:08,149 Yeah. 301 00:10:08,269 --> 00:10:09,436 That makes no sense. 302 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:12,923 Anyway, Diane, I'll lend you my superior intellect. 303 00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:15,077 - Sorry, Jack. - Jack: I don't care. 304 00:10:15,112 --> 00:10:17,547 I was actually going to ask Zoey to help me. 305 00:10:17,581 --> 00:10:19,598 This project is all about presentation, 306 00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:22,787 and nerds do not know about presentation. 307 00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:24,622 Oh, so I'm a nerd? 308 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,524 If the glasses fit. 309 00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:27,725 Oh, I think they fit. 310 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:28,726 Mm-hmm. 311 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,161 - Tax man's coming. - What? 312 00:10:30,195 --> 00:10:31,829 I don't know when, but I got to be ready. 313 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:33,965 Found these in Dre's closet. Which one? 314 00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,733 - I think this says "sellout." - Uh-huh. 315 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,568 And I think this says "I'm harmless," 316 00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:38,670 you know, forgettable. 317 00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:39,871 Are you okay, pops? 318 00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:42,073 My daddy told me there ain't but three things in life 319 00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:43,207 a black man's got to do... 320 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,843 stay black, pay taxes, and die. 321 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:46,878 I got to say, 322 00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:49,050 the black-man rules don't seem too hard. 323 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,504 The I.R.S. came after my daddy, 324 00:10:50,538 --> 00:10:52,139 scared his black ass white as a ghost. 325 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,806 Wouldn't let the poor man die until he paid what he owed. 326 00:10:54,926 --> 00:10:57,361 Poor bastard lived to be 126. 327 00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,262 126! 328 00:10:58,296 --> 00:11:00,898 Pops, I think you're gonna be fine. 329 00:11:00,932 --> 00:11:01,905 - You do? - Yeah! 330 00:11:02,025 --> 00:11:04,193 There were a couple of doctors at work that got audited, 331 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,195 - and it all worked itself out. - Really? What happened? 332 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,930 Well, let's see. There was Dr. Davis. 333 00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,565 And he showed them his paperwork, 334 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,600 and they left him alone. 335 00:11:10,634 --> 00:11:11,968 It was no biggie. 336 00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:14,136 And then Dr. Patel, and... oh, yeah. 337 00:11:14,171 --> 00:11:15,271 What? 338 00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:17,662 He killed himself. 339 00:11:17,782 --> 00:11:19,264 But that was because his wife left him. 340 00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:22,411 Because the I.R.S. took all his money. 341 00:11:22,446 --> 00:11:23,639 What else is in that bag? 342 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,843 Not enough. 343 00:11:26,879 --> 00:11:27,679 [Growls softly] 344 00:11:27,713 --> 00:11:29,080 - Hey, Bow? - Yeah? 345 00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:30,748 All right, did you get my message? 346 00:11:30,783 --> 00:11:32,350 Operation keepin' it real... it's a go. 347 00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:33,618 Yeah, I got your message here, 348 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,987 but it sounded like you were calling me from a kennel. 349 00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:37,155 W... 350 00:11:37,189 --> 00:11:39,590 - which now makes sense. - What happened to your hair? 351 00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:40,925 - Huh? - No, no, no, no, no, no. 352 00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:42,326 This is a "keepin' it real" evening. 353 00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:43,995 I need your curls, Bow. 354 00:11:44,029 --> 00:11:45,563 - Hey, hey, hey. No! Dre, stop it! - I need your curls. I need your curls. 355 00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:46,798 - Stop, stop! - What? 356 00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:49,233 Dre, I know want to keep it super real, okay? 357 00:11:49,268 --> 00:11:51,702 But it took me a month to get this appointment. 358 00:11:51,737 --> 00:11:52,870 Okay. Look at it. 359 00:11:52,905 --> 00:11:54,872 Okay, okay, you know what? Cornrows. 360 00:11:54,907 --> 00:11:56,374 I want everybody in cornrows. 361 00:11:56,408 --> 00:11:58,910 We're gonna have cornrow line from biggest to smallest. 362 00:11:58,944 --> 00:11:59,777 And Junior... 363 00:11:59,811 --> 00:12:01,345 he can anchor the rear in a do-rag. 364 00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:02,380 We're not braiding our hair. 365 00:12:02,414 --> 00:12:02,894 All right, fine. 366 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,782 You stay down here and prepare dinner. 367 00:12:04,816 --> 00:12:06,583 I'll go upstairs, and I'll get ready. 368 00:12:06,618 --> 00:12:10,508 Hey, whatever you do, do not pet this dog. 369 00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:11,555 All right? Or startle him. 370 00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,457 Or, God forbid, speak Spanish. 371 00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:15,192 He's got a lot of triggers. 372 00:12:16,394 --> 00:12:19,190 So, my famous American hero that I chose... 373 00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:20,024 Zoey: Look. 374 00:12:20,144 --> 00:12:22,995 I don't know or care anything about your "hero," 375 00:12:23,115 --> 00:12:24,312 but I think we should go 376 00:12:24,432 --> 00:12:26,503 with a Japanese selvedge denim and cotton blend 377 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,005 for our costume fabric base. 378 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:31,588 It says, "yeah, we're high-end, but we're also American." 379 00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,243 Buh-bang, buh-bang! [Exhales sharply] 380 00:12:34,746 --> 00:12:36,713 Junior: We have to approach this project 381 00:12:36,748 --> 00:12:38,982 with the same kind of fervor and attention 382 00:12:39,016 --> 00:12:41,451 I approached my Dungeon & Dragons career with. 383 00:12:41,486 --> 00:12:44,254 "Career" feels like a strong word. 384 00:12:44,288 --> 00:12:45,689 I went from level 1 385 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,625 to creating my own plane of existence... 386 00:12:48,659 --> 00:12:50,129 before high school. 387 00:12:52,318 --> 00:12:54,252 I played this all wrong. I played this all wrong. 388 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:56,696 So, Jack and Diane had their epiphany, 389 00:12:56,816 --> 00:12:58,183 and mine was on its way, 390 00:12:58,217 --> 00:13:00,585 which brings us back to where we started. 391 00:13:00,619 --> 00:13:02,620 Time to go keep it one hundred. 392 00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:04,030 Oh, damn it! I mean a hunnit! 393 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:07,152 So, we had to run from five-o and hid in a dumpster. 394 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:09,689 Had to stay there overnight in the dumpster. 395 00:13:09,809 --> 00:13:10,909 Hold on a second. 396 00:13:10,944 --> 00:13:12,311 Realness! Shut up! 397 00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:13,779 My dog's name is Realness. 398 00:13:13,813 --> 00:13:14,846 Oh, word? 399 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,481 But he don't listen real good, though, huh? 400 00:13:16,516 --> 00:13:18,684 He don't listen to nobody That's how real he is. 401 00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:19,718 - No doubt. - Uh-huh. 402 00:13:19,752 --> 00:13:21,286 - Respect that. - No doubt. 403 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,889 Hey, hey, hey. Son, what are you doing wearing that? 404 00:13:23,923 --> 00:13:26,024 Uh, it's Tuesday after 6:00. 405 00:13:26,058 --> 00:13:28,694 Please call me Wizzle-dor. 406 00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:30,362 - A-wha? - No, hold on. 407 00:13:30,396 --> 00:13:32,964 Realness! Attack Wizzle-dor! 408 00:13:32,999 --> 00:13:34,966 Attack El Wizzle-doro! 409 00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:36,201 Sic huevos! 410 00:13:36,235 --> 00:13:37,369 Andele! Andele! 411 00:13:37,403 --> 00:13:38,270 Let me ask. 412 00:13:38,304 --> 00:13:39,704 Hey, dad, my friend Margot 413 00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:41,473 wants to be ironic for her birthday 414 00:13:41,507 --> 00:13:43,742 and go to a Jason Mraz acoustic jam on Saturday. 415 00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:45,977 Phillip Phillips is beatboxing as his opener. 416 00:13:46,012 --> 00:13:46,811 [Scoffs] 417 00:13:46,846 --> 00:13:48,780 So, can I go, please? 418 00:13:48,814 --> 00:13:51,683 Okay, whatever, whatever. Just get out of here. 419 00:13:51,717 --> 00:13:52,717 Bye. Bye. 420 00:13:52,752 --> 00:13:54,653 Bow, soul food, please! 421 00:13:54,687 --> 00:13:56,888 - Coming. - Yes! That is what I'm talkin' about. 422 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,424 I've been waiting on this all day, Rainbow. Let's get it. 423 00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:01,726 What's going on downstairs? 424 00:14:01,761 --> 00:14:03,795 Some dude's making dad act all weird. 425 00:14:03,829 --> 00:14:05,530 - White man in a suit? - Leather jacket. 426 00:14:05,564 --> 00:14:06,898 Undercover. Sneaky. 427 00:14:06,932 --> 00:14:09,567 Okay, Mr. Tax Man, you want to dance? 428 00:14:09,602 --> 00:14:10,635 We can dance. 429 00:14:12,738 --> 00:14:15,006 This is my take on collard greens. 430 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:15,951 Jay: Oh, my goodness! 431 00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:17,634 I love me some collard green, girl. 432 00:14:17,754 --> 00:14:19,188 Yeah, but they're made out of kale. 433 00:14:19,222 --> 00:14:21,023 I call them kale-ard greens. 434 00:14:21,058 --> 00:14:22,258 Stupid full of iron. 435 00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:23,192 Stupid. 436 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:24,226 Oh, God. 437 00:14:24,261 --> 00:14:25,661 Oh, I also made mac and cheese. 438 00:14:25,695 --> 00:14:27,029 I love me some mac and cheese. 439 00:14:27,063 --> 00:14:28,264 Might put me in the grave, 440 00:14:28,298 --> 00:14:30,065 but at least I'm gonna be in the grave smilin'. 441 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,301 Well, nobody's gonna be dying from my Mac and cheese. 442 00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:33,335 It's vegan. 443 00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:34,937 - Of course it is. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 444 00:14:34,971 --> 00:14:36,172 You got vegan Mac and cheese? 445 00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:38,040 But aren't the main ingredients butter and cheese? 446 00:14:38,074 --> 00:14:39,341 Yeah! [Laughs] 447 00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:41,811 But I used olive oil and teese. 448 00:14:41,845 --> 00:14:43,212 - What? - Teese is like cheese, 449 00:14:43,246 --> 00:14:45,180 - but it's actually... - No, no, no. 450 00:14:45,215 --> 00:14:46,048 I get it, I get it. 451 00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:47,650 Jack: Daddy, check out our costumes. 452 00:14:47,684 --> 00:14:49,485 What the hell are you two wearing?! 453 00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:51,120 I'm my hero, Sarah Palin. 454 00:14:51,154 --> 00:14:53,789 I came within a few votes of the vice presidency. 455 00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:57,126 I would have won if not for the liberal "gotcha" media. 456 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,995 My hero's the godfather of hip-hip... 457 00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:01,196 Vanilla Ice. 458 00:15:01,231 --> 00:15:02,498 What? 459 00:15:02,532 --> 00:15:04,781 [Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" plays] 460 00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:06,396 What? 461 00:15:06,430 --> 00:15:07,585 Jay: Yo, you buggin', shorty. 462 00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,683 He is... he is buggin' the hell out. 463 00:15:09,717 --> 00:15:10,639 - Yo, don't hurt yourself. - Hey, hey, hey, stop this dancing. 464 00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:11,408 Stop this dancing. 465 00:15:11,528 --> 00:15:12,648 Okay, look, go upstairs. 466 00:15:12,682 --> 00:15:14,583 Go upstairs and change for dinner. 467 00:15:14,618 --> 00:15:16,185 Man, these kids these days. 468 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,354 My son Toby keeps stealing my car and going joyriding. 469 00:15:18,388 --> 00:15:19,355 He's crazy. 470 00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:20,217 Oh, if he keeps doing that, 471 00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,505 why don't you cut his foot off and call him Kunta Kinte? 472 00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:23,439 [Both laugh] 473 00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:24,874 Kunta Kinte was about that life. 474 00:15:24,908 --> 00:15:26,643 He was thuggish ruggish for real, though. 475 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:29,181 Why are you guys laughing? That is so brutal. 476 00:15:29,301 --> 00:15:30,501 Oh, what? Babe, babe, babe, 477 00:15:30,535 --> 00:15:32,336 we're just talking about "roots," all right? 478 00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:33,776 - Oh, yeah, r... oh, "roots." - Yeah, mm-hmm. "Roots." 479 00:15:33,896 --> 00:15:35,797 W-well, of course. [Chuckles] "Roots." 480 00:15:35,832 --> 00:15:38,600 Yeah, I mean, the Kente Kunta is, uh... 481 00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:39,701 Very powerful. 482 00:15:39,735 --> 00:15:42,237 That movie was I got chills. 483 00:15:42,271 --> 00:15:43,371 [Chuckles] 484 00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:45,240 You know what's missing from this moment? 485 00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:46,241 Hot sauce! 486 00:15:46,275 --> 00:15:48,610 Hot sauce for the Mac and teese. 487 00:15:48,644 --> 00:15:50,845 You know, I have a whole case of it in the pantry. 488 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,881 Baby, come help me get the case of hot sauce 489 00:15:52,915 --> 00:15:53,949 out the pantry, please. 490 00:15:53,983 --> 00:15:54,619 [Door closes] 491 00:15:54,739 --> 00:15:57,076 Oh, good evening, old man. So good to see you. 492 00:15:57,196 --> 00:15:59,097 Let me apologize for my tardiness. 493 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,245 I had a meeting at the gun club 494 00:16:00,365 --> 00:16:01,265 that ran a little long. 495 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,495 It wasn't until I was in the prius 496 00:16:02,615 --> 00:16:04,149 and switched it on that I realized 497 00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:06,184 I had left my attaché case on the squash court. 498 00:16:06,219 --> 00:16:09,087 So, shall we, um, get to the business at hand? 499 00:16:09,122 --> 00:16:10,222 - No doubt. - Very well. 500 00:16:10,256 --> 00:16:12,674 I have a little something-something for you, 501 00:16:12,794 --> 00:16:14,395 as the kids like to say. 502 00:16:14,429 --> 00:16:16,797 I think you'll find everything to your liking 503 00:16:16,832 --> 00:16:17,965 and in perfect order. 504 00:16:17,999 --> 00:16:18,799 Thanks. 505 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,234 No, no. Thank you. 506 00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:21,335 And good day. 507 00:16:21,369 --> 00:16:23,270 Hey, pops. What are you doing? 508 00:16:23,305 --> 00:16:24,705 I said, "good day," sir. 509 00:16:28,351 --> 00:16:30,948 So, my attempt to keep it real for Jay had failed. 510 00:16:30,982 --> 00:16:33,349 And my lesson on "roots" wasn't faring much better. 511 00:16:33,469 --> 00:16:34,398 - Wait. - Hmm? 512 00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,118 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 513 00:16:36,153 --> 00:16:37,319 - Is that O.J.? - Yeah. 514 00:16:37,354 --> 00:16:40,156 People have been hounding me to watch an O.J. movie? 515 00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:42,191 Where the father from "Brady Bunch" 516 00:16:42,225 --> 00:16:43,392 plays a slave owner? 517 00:16:43,426 --> 00:16:44,460 [Sighs] 518 00:16:44,494 --> 00:16:45,528 This is insane. 519 00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:47,630 I'm gonna go catch up on my "Empires." 520 00:16:47,664 --> 00:16:49,298 [Sighs] 521 00:16:49,332 --> 00:16:51,800 What you sittin' around with your head droopin' down for? 522 00:16:51,835 --> 00:16:54,203 You didn't try to bribe the wrong white guy. 523 00:16:54,237 --> 00:16:56,071 Pops, my career is over. 524 00:16:56,106 --> 00:16:59,275 I'm about to lose this account to Charlie. 525 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,076 He lives in his car. 526 00:17:01,111 --> 00:17:02,544 He put a humidifier in it. 527 00:17:02,579 --> 00:17:03,679 Listen to me, son. 528 00:17:03,713 --> 00:17:05,080 Don't let some white man convince you 529 00:17:05,115 --> 00:17:06,782 that your ability to move between both worlds 530 00:17:06,816 --> 00:17:08,217 is something you shouldn't be proud of. 531 00:17:08,251 --> 00:17:09,351 What? 532 00:17:09,386 --> 00:17:11,520 Being able to switch it up is a necessity. 533 00:17:11,554 --> 00:17:12,788 And the way you do it... 534 00:17:12,822 --> 00:17:14,757 smooth, son, smooth, like a superhero. 535 00:17:14,791 --> 00:17:16,291 I mean, I'm almost jealous. 536 00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:17,860 How much of my scotch have you had? 537 00:17:17,894 --> 00:17:19,995 Look, all I'm saying is being able to switch it up 538 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:21,437 has gotten you some nice things... 539 00:17:21,557 --> 00:17:24,126 this house, your wife, this scotch. 540 00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:26,468 By the way, you're out. 541 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,737 Ahh. But I got to tell you. 542 00:17:28,772 --> 00:17:30,739 The thing I'm probably the most proud of you for is... 543 00:17:30,774 --> 00:17:32,675 [cellphone beeps, vibrates] Oh, hold that thought. 544 00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:33,942 Yep, that's my Uber. 545 00:17:33,977 --> 00:17:34,748 Got to go, son. 546 00:17:34,868 --> 00:17:36,266 You probably won't be seeing me for a while, 547 00:17:36,386 --> 00:17:38,020 at least not until this tax thing blows over. 548 00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:39,689 And I would give you a forwarding address, 549 00:17:39,723 --> 00:17:41,390 but you liable to tell the white man anything. 550 00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:43,522 Blessing and a curse, son. Blessing and a curse. 551 00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:47,452 Despite pops' Wesley Snipes-Ian understanding 552 00:17:47,486 --> 00:17:50,288 of American tax law, he was right. 553 00:17:50,322 --> 00:17:53,158 How did white Jay make me feel bad 554 00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:56,416 about being a successful black man? 555 00:17:56,536 --> 00:17:58,637 So, uh, these are bushes, 556 00:17:58,672 --> 00:18:01,273 which is a great place where you can hide your packages. 557 00:18:01,308 --> 00:18:03,542 Also, you can hide your packages, 558 00:18:03,576 --> 00:18:05,844 uh, here or... 559 00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:06,879 Here... 560 00:18:06,913 --> 00:18:08,480 Or one of my favorites... 561 00:18:08,515 --> 00:18:10,115 Uh, here. 562 00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:11,083 [Door opens] 563 00:18:11,117 --> 00:18:13,485 Hey, look. Uh, I'm sorry to interrupt. 564 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,554 Charlie, you can stop. Look, the account is his. 565 00:18:15,588 --> 00:18:17,890 Dre, what are you doing? All week, I've been listening 566 00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:19,658 to the white cornel west over there 567 00:18:19,693 --> 00:18:23,008 make me feel like I wasn't black enough for this campaign. 568 00:18:23,128 --> 00:18:24,995 You know what? Screw you. 569 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,054 Okay. You know what? 570 00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:27,775 Dre, that is not a closer move. 571 00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:28,976 No, no, no, no. 572 00:18:29,011 --> 00:18:31,545 Keepin' it real isn't some checklist you find 573 00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,014 on "yo! MTV raps." 574 00:18:33,048 --> 00:18:35,683 It's about being you, and for me, 575 00:18:35,717 --> 00:18:38,116 sometimes that mean watching "The Good Wife" with the missus 576 00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:40,371 while we eat Mac and teese, all right? 577 00:18:40,405 --> 00:18:43,403 It's got my cholesterol down. I'm off the lipitor, son. 578 00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:44,554 And that's real. 579 00:18:44,674 --> 00:18:46,072 Dre, you know, I really I really don't think... 580 00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,210 Jay: Yes. Yes, yes. [Claps] 581 00:18:48,244 --> 00:18:49,310 This is what I wanted to see. 582 00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:52,214 This is the Dre Johnson I've heard so much about. 583 00:18:52,248 --> 00:18:53,615 You've been walking around here 584 00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:55,083 all week playin' Bobby boy scout. 585 00:18:55,118 --> 00:18:57,352 You haven't given me any of that swag you're famous for. 586 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,820 Okay. So, what are you saying? 587 00:18:58,855 --> 00:19:00,622 I want you to head up this account. 588 00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:02,724 Do you? Hmm. 589 00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:05,494 - Beg me. - Nah, I ain't doin' that, playboy. 590 00:19:05,528 --> 00:19:06,662 I will. 591 00:19:06,696 --> 00:19:08,697 Please, Dre, take the account. 592 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:09,631 Please. 593 00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:11,266 My back is against the wall. 594 00:19:11,301 --> 00:19:12,401 Ch-Charlie, I got you. 595 00:19:13,636 --> 00:19:15,542 All right. I'll take it. 596 00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:16,694 All right, good. 597 00:19:16,814 --> 00:19:19,215 Just make this is the guy that shows up to work every day. 598 00:19:19,249 --> 00:19:21,084 All day, every day. 599 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,352 100% uncut Dre. 600 00:19:23,387 --> 00:19:26,289 "The white cornel west"... I like that. 601 00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:27,223 [Laughs] 602 00:19:27,257 --> 00:19:29,292 Uh, do you want me to finish? 603 00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:30,560 'Cause me and Laura, 604 00:19:30,594 --> 00:19:32,213 we was up late putting this together. 605 00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:34,234 Like, you'll never find one here. 606 00:19:34,268 --> 00:19:36,136 Uh, decoy boxes could be awesome. 607 00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,270 Ooh, how about a wig? 608 00:19:40,273 --> 00:19:41,680 Hey, pops. 609 00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:42,815 What are you doing back? 610 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:43,716 Pops: Oh, uh... 611 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,950 I forgot my pistol. 612 00:19:44,985 --> 00:19:47,887 If anyone comes looking for me, I have not been here. 613 00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:49,575 Okay, hold on. This letter came today. 614 00:19:49,695 --> 00:19:52,930 Turns out the I.R.S. was only sending someone here 615 00:19:52,965 --> 00:19:56,232 as courtesy because you are on their senior citizen's list. 616 00:19:56,352 --> 00:19:58,786 They only want a copy of the sales receipt of your old Lincoln. 617 00:19:58,821 --> 00:20:00,922 Your mama took that Lincoln from me in the divorce... 618 00:20:00,956 --> 00:20:02,256 out of pure spite, I might add. 619 00:20:02,376 --> 00:20:05,338 Wait a minute, that means I didn't sell it... she did. 620 00:20:05,458 --> 00:20:06,758 They're not looking for me, they're looking for her. 621 00:20:06,878 --> 00:20:07,402 Okay. 622 00:20:07,676 --> 00:20:12,080 Oh my goodness, the I.R.S. is finaly going to do for me 623 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,755 what I was never able to do for myself. 624 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,562 - What? - Bury her. 625 00:20:16,185 --> 00:20:17,263 I love this country. 626 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,864 Hey pops, I hope this little scare has taught you 627 00:20:19,965 --> 00:20:22,155 a lesson in fiscal responsibility. 628 00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:25,847 Oh yes! I am... untouchable. 629 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:28,533 If anyone comes looking for me, you know where I'll be. 630 00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:30,367 - At the track. - At the track, yeah. 631 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:35,880 Synced and corrected by MJ D evil