1 00:00:00,386 --> 00:00:03,787 There comes a time when every teenager challenges their parents. 2 00:00:03,822 --> 00:00:07,153 Zoey has been putting her mom to the test for a while. 3 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,016 - [Singsongy] Hey, girl! - Go away. 4 00:00:09,136 --> 00:00:10,659 - Bye, girl. - But me and Zoey, 5 00:00:10,779 --> 00:00:13,698 we've always had the best relationship... [Thud] 6 00:00:13,818 --> 00:00:15,884 - Ohh! - Until recently. 7 00:00:16,004 --> 00:00:17,452 Hey... what's going on? 8 00:00:17,572 --> 00:00:18,997 Your sister's supposed to be watching you. 9 00:00:19,117 --> 00:00:20,588 She is. We're playing a game 10 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:22,179 called "Zoey doesn't want to be bothered." 11 00:00:22,299 --> 00:00:23,384 I'm winning. 12 00:00:23,504 --> 00:00:24,441 Zoey! 13 00:00:27,479 --> 00:00:29,045 Hey, dad. 14 00:00:29,165 --> 00:00:30,976 Are those my starter studs? 15 00:00:31,096 --> 00:00:32,182 Are they? 16 00:00:33,217 --> 00:00:36,908 You do not wear daddy's earrings, all right? 17 00:00:37,028 --> 00:00:38,476 That's man jewelry. 18 00:00:38,596 --> 00:00:41,157 And it all came to a head the other day. 19 00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,835 M.O.P.: ♪ Ante up, yap that fool ♪ 20 00:00:43,955 --> 00:00:46,176 ♪ ante up, kidnap that fool ♪ 21 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,296 [Bell dings] ♪ it's the perfect timin' ♪ 22 00:00:47,331 --> 00:00:48,698 Pull over. 23 00:00:48,732 --> 00:00:50,099 Oh, no. 24 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,001 I said, pull over! 25 00:00:52,035 --> 00:00:53,169 [Horn honks] 26 00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:56,203 Hey, shut up! I'm yelling at my kid right now! 27 00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,408 Pull over, but not right here, 28 00:00:57,528 --> 00:00:58,674 because the guy behind me has road rage. 29 00:00:58,709 --> 00:01:00,309 [Horns honking] 30 00:01:00,344 --> 00:01:03,145 Oh, you wanna go? You wanna go?! 31 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:05,681 [Honking continues] You wanna go?! 32 00:01:05,716 --> 00:01:07,550 [Bell dings] 33 00:01:07,584 --> 00:01:10,052 Synced and corrected by MVLJR - Sourced from: www.addic7ed.com 34 00:01:11,086 --> 00:01:12,387 I didn't know it was you. 35 00:01:12,421 --> 00:01:14,355 And you weren't even driving your car. 36 00:01:14,390 --> 00:01:17,136 That's because I was sizing up a Buick enclave 37 00:01:17,256 --> 00:01:18,126 for an account at work. 38 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,894 More like a Buick entrapment. 39 00:01:19,929 --> 00:01:22,330 [Laughs] Nice! Wrong. 40 00:01:22,364 --> 00:01:24,065 You? 41 00:01:24,099 --> 00:01:26,017 - No more phone till further notice. - What? 42 00:01:26,137 --> 00:01:29,040 - That's not fair. - Hey, you drove a car at 15. 43 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,705 You keep talking, there'll be no spring formal. 44 00:01:30,739 --> 00:01:32,690 Now go to tie yourself to your bed 45 00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:34,378 and think about what you did. 46 00:01:35,911 --> 00:01:39,380 - This is bad, Bow. - It's not great. 47 00:01:39,415 --> 00:01:41,576 But you know what? She's a teenager. [Door closes in distance] 48 00:01:41,696 --> 00:01:43,940 And they need to rebel a little bit. That's what kids do. 49 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,920 This is a gateway infraction. 50 00:01:45,955 --> 00:01:47,388 - A what? - Where I'm from, 51 00:01:47,423 --> 00:01:49,505 first, it's joyriding, then crack, 52 00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:51,800 then getting pregnant and having your baby in a toilet... 53 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,294 - Wh... - then selling the baby you had 54 00:01:53,328 --> 00:01:54,846 in the toilet for better crack! 55 00:01:54,966 --> 00:01:56,264 Where did you grow up? 56 00:01:56,298 --> 00:01:58,815 Far away from your hometown of vanilla hills, 57 00:01:58,935 --> 00:02:00,451 a suburb of caucasia. 58 00:02:00,571 --> 00:02:02,670 Population... zero toilet babies. 59 00:02:02,704 --> 00:02:05,042 I cannot believe we're having this argument again. 60 00:02:05,162 --> 00:02:08,229 Bow, it's not your fault you're clueless. 61 00:02:08,349 --> 00:02:10,383 All right? After all, you were raised by... 62 00:02:10,418 --> 00:02:13,220 for lack of a better term... your mother. 63 00:02:13,254 --> 00:02:15,555 Alicia: Rainbow, my sweet, I don't want to harsh your vibe, 64 00:02:15,590 --> 00:02:17,491 but you might find that your choice leads to 65 00:02:17,525 --> 00:02:19,759 an unexpected result. 66 00:02:19,794 --> 00:02:21,661 I never put a fork in a socket again. 67 00:02:21,696 --> 00:02:24,429 That's because your heart stopped beating for two minutes. 68 00:02:24,549 --> 00:02:27,934 Dre, my mother allowed me to learn my lessons on my own... 69 00:02:27,969 --> 00:02:29,536 - Mm. - And now I'm a doctor. 70 00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:30,904 And I have an intimate understanding 71 00:02:30,938 --> 00:02:32,372 of electrical current 72 00:02:32,406 --> 00:02:35,008 as it relates to cardiac muscle. 73 00:02:35,042 --> 00:02:38,511 Your childhood was lawless, practically feral. 74 00:02:38,546 --> 00:02:40,981 So the internment that was your childhood was better? 75 00:02:41,015 --> 00:02:42,248 Well, say what you want, 76 00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:44,050 but he didn't get away with anything. 77 00:02:44,085 --> 00:02:46,953 If I thought he was up to no good, tossed his room. 78 00:02:46,987 --> 00:02:49,756 [Fabric ripping] Pops? 79 00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:55,361 Stitch it back up. 80 00:02:55,396 --> 00:02:57,997 Hey, I learned discipline... 81 00:02:58,032 --> 00:02:59,199 And sewing. 82 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,301 And you grew up resenting your father. 83 00:03:01,335 --> 00:03:03,536 - As it should be. - You guys just don't get it. 84 00:03:03,571 --> 00:03:05,572 Girls at this age shut their mothers out. 85 00:03:05,606 --> 00:03:09,309 And Zoey already doesn't wanna hang out with me, and I hate it. 86 00:03:09,343 --> 00:03:10,910 I was best friends with my mother. 87 00:03:10,945 --> 00:03:12,779 - Aw. - I liked it! 88 00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:14,624 And I wanna be best friends with my daughter. 89 00:03:14,744 --> 00:03:16,683 Well, you're in luck. The way you guys are running things, 90 00:03:16,717 --> 00:03:18,618 your daughter will bring home her own daughter soon... 91 00:03:18,652 --> 00:03:20,119 It... and you can have two best friends. 92 00:03:21,622 --> 00:03:23,423 So what's it like to drive a car? 93 00:03:23,457 --> 00:03:24,991 - Oh, it's actually pretty cool... - See, Zoey? 94 00:03:25,025 --> 00:03:27,360 You're setting a bad example for the young ones. 95 00:03:27,394 --> 00:03:29,228 They should be thanking me. 96 00:03:29,263 --> 00:03:31,898 And you all need to show a little more respect. 97 00:03:31,932 --> 00:03:33,300 For you? Why? 98 00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,588 - Gonna need reasons. - As the oldest, 99 00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:38,591 I'm taking the heat so you won't have to. 100 00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:40,259 I'm your civil rights movement. 101 00:03:40,294 --> 00:03:41,694 False prophet. 102 00:03:41,729 --> 00:03:45,264 Guys, just be good. It's easier. 103 00:03:45,299 --> 00:03:47,400 I never have to look over my shoulder, 104 00:03:47,434 --> 00:03:49,268 and I have no worries and no stress. 105 00:03:49,303 --> 00:03:51,504 You also have no friends and have never kissed a girl. 106 00:03:51,538 --> 00:03:55,241 Children, walk with me in the light. 107 00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:57,944 Walk with me. 108 00:03:57,978 --> 00:04:00,046 [Lowered voice] Come on. 109 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,981 So if Zoey hadn't looked over at me in the car, 110 00:04:02,015 --> 00:04:04,517 she would've gone on her way, and the headlines would've read, 111 00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:06,686 "unlicensed girl crashes car, 112 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,121 beloved daddy's reputation ruined." 113 00:04:09,156 --> 00:04:11,190 Yeah, yeah, yeah, but your daughter and her friends were 114 00:04:11,224 --> 00:04:13,226 checking out a Buick enclave. 115 00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:15,962 That's pretty useful info for the Research Department. 116 00:04:15,996 --> 00:04:18,231 - Are you not listening to me right now? - Hey. 117 00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:20,066 Do you think she'd do a video testimonial? 118 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,802 So today is the day you guys decide to focus on work? 119 00:04:22,836 --> 00:04:25,705 You're right. You're right. [Inhales sharply] 120 00:04:25,739 --> 00:04:27,206 - That's lunch, everybody. - Mm! 121 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,942 No! No! No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. I need some feedback 122 00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:32,211 and I tried talking to Bow, but that's no help. 123 00:04:32,245 --> 00:04:34,680 Hell, she lets the kids do what they want. 124 00:04:34,715 --> 00:04:37,116 I hear ya, Dre. My first wife was a bit of an enabler. 125 00:04:37,150 --> 00:04:39,685 It ended with my boys trying to to Menendez me. 126 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,120 Duct-taped me to the fridge 127 00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:42,321 and beat me with a bag of clementines 128 00:04:42,356 --> 00:04:44,123 - to get my bank codes. - Wow. 129 00:04:44,157 --> 00:04:46,659 We were taught to, uh, respect our parents. Right, Charlie? 130 00:04:46,693 --> 00:04:47,860 Hell, yeah. 131 00:04:47,894 --> 00:04:50,196 Except Eustace kinda runs the show at my house. 132 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:51,363 I lost the moral high ground 133 00:04:51,398 --> 00:04:52,734 once I bought a jet ski in his name 134 00:04:52,854 --> 00:04:54,934 - and ruined his credit. - You own a jet ski? 135 00:04:54,968 --> 00:04:56,368 Technically, he does. 136 00:04:56,403 --> 00:04:58,671 Or did. Had to get rid of it. 137 00:04:58,705 --> 00:04:59,839 My building manager said 138 00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:01,507 it was taking up to much room in the pool. 139 00:05:01,541 --> 00:05:02,975 [Grunts] Look, Dre, 140 00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:05,244 what have you done to punish Zoey? 141 00:05:05,278 --> 00:05:07,046 - I took away her phone. - Smart. 142 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,914 So you can check out all her Snapchats, Tumblr, 143 00:05:08,949 --> 00:05:10,483 Tinder, Grindr. 144 00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:11,951 I'm on all of 'em. 145 00:05:11,985 --> 00:05:13,152 Pretty lonely, you guys. 146 00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:14,887 Hey, thinking about getting a cat. 147 00:05:14,921 --> 00:05:17,836 - Social media is the wild, wild west. - Mm-hmm. 148 00:05:17,871 --> 00:05:22,015 I read about some teens running a prostitution ring on Instagram. 149 00:05:22,135 --> 00:05:23,435 kids these days! 150 00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:24,803 So much hustle. 151 00:05:24,838 --> 00:05:29,441 You have got to keep tabs on your kids at all times. 152 00:05:29,476 --> 00:05:31,076 And technology will let you do that. 153 00:05:31,111 --> 00:05:34,346 Like right now my boys are... 154 00:05:34,381 --> 00:05:35,514 In my kitchen, 155 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:38,083 filling a gunnysack full of cantaloupes. 156 00:05:38,118 --> 00:05:39,818 Ooh. Can't go home right now. 157 00:05:40,853 --> 00:05:42,987 Amidst their insanity, 158 00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:45,123 my co-workers had some good advice... 159 00:05:45,157 --> 00:05:49,026 violate my daughter's federally protected right to privacy. 160 00:05:49,061 --> 00:05:50,829 Man: [Russian accent] Now that you've cloned fingerprint, 161 00:05:50,864 --> 00:05:53,800 use it to bypass phone security. 162 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,654 Bang! I'm in! 163 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,922 [Laughs] 164 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,357 - Is that Zoey's phone? - Uh-huh. 165 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,592 I broke into her snapchat account 166 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:03,094 with the help of this Russian YouTube hacker. 167 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,729 It's called parenting. 168 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,798 It's called a heinous invasion of privacy. 169 00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:09,401 See? That's your problem. You're too pro-kid. 170 00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,603 "Oh, kids are people, too." Blah, blah, blah. 171 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,538 Loosey-goosey parenting like that 172 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,840 is what made things like James Franco. 173 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,575 He took a chance at the oscars. 174 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:19,778 Bow, you really need to learn how to say "no." 175 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,013 - I know how to say "no." - Do you? 176 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,848 - Hmm? - Yes. 177 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:24,816 Yes. 178 00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:27,352 [Ladder rattling] 179 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,254 Yes. 180 00:06:30,288 --> 00:06:33,123 Well, it's better than only knowing how to say "no." 181 00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:34,324 - May I - No. 182 00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:36,060 - Can you - No. 183 00:06:36,094 --> 00:06:38,095 - I got an "A"! - No. 184 00:06:40,131 --> 00:06:42,566 I don't even think you can say the word "yes." 185 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,068 No, I can. 186 00:06:44,102 --> 00:06:46,141 - Unbelievable. - Here's what it looks like 187 00:06:46,261 --> 00:06:47,728 when you try to become best friends... 188 00:06:47,763 --> 00:06:48,729 - Mm-hmm. Yep. - With your daughter. 189 00:06:48,764 --> 00:06:50,831 Huh. Look at Zoey's friend Maya. 190 00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:52,566 - She's best friends with her mom. - Mm-hmm. 191 00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:55,436 And that's why I'm looking at pictures of her new boobs 192 00:06:55,470 --> 00:06:57,004 and her mom's. 193 00:06:57,038 --> 00:06:58,272 - Look at Zoey's pal Sarah... - Mm-hmm. 194 00:06:58,306 --> 00:07:00,808 In what looks to be an invisible bikini. 195 00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:02,643 Look at the crew she hangs with! 196 00:07:02,677 --> 00:07:03,911 - These are the people... - Okay. 197 00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:05,846 - That our baby girl... - Enough! Enough. 198 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,781 You need to stop now, Dre. Stop. 199 00:07:07,816 --> 00:07:09,183 Okay. 200 00:07:09,217 --> 00:07:10,384 - Oh, my God. - What? 201 00:07:10,418 --> 00:07:12,853 - Wait. Is that Zoey? That's Zoey. - Let me see. 202 00:07:12,888 --> 00:07:15,422 Oh, my God. She's holding a cigarette! 203 00:07:15,457 --> 00:07:17,891 And reclining on a motorcycle! 204 00:07:17,926 --> 00:07:19,226 Okay, in her defense, 205 00:07:19,261 --> 00:07:21,328 that's an e-cigarette and... and a Vespa. 206 00:07:21,363 --> 00:07:22,796 - Bow! - You're right! 207 00:07:22,831 --> 00:07:24,632 [Gasps] She's gonna have a toilet baby, 208 00:07:24,666 --> 00:07:26,242 and we're gonna be toilet grandparents. 209 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,901 You still wanna be her best friend, 210 00:07:27,936 --> 00:07:29,436 or do you wanna drop the hammer? 211 00:07:29,471 --> 00:07:31,238 - It's hammer time. - Damn straight. 212 00:07:31,272 --> 00:07:33,507 Doggy's off the chain. Woof! Woof! 213 00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:35,309 Woof! Woof! 214 00:07:36,518 --> 00:07:39,206 Look, you cannot let Zoey know we have access to her phone. 215 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,942 - We have to hide the ball. "Imitation Game." - Okay. 216 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,195 - Got it. - All right. 217 00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,396 A man listening to hype music 218 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:47,296 while referencing a gay British wartime math movie. You are a 219 00:07:47,416 --> 00:07:49,935 - delightful bundle of contradictions. - Unh! 220 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,404 DMX: ♪ Shut 'em down, open up shop ♪ 221 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,418 ♪ oh, no ♪ 222 00:07:53,538 --> 00:07:56,208 [Whispers] Okay. All right, look. It's go time. 223 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,010 All right, the kids will never know what hit 'em. 224 00:07:59,044 --> 00:08:02,146 [Loudly] Hear me, children! New family rules coming at you! 225 00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,714 For all of us? What did we do? 226 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,150 Yeah. We all know Zoey's the bad seed. 227 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,285 - Hey! - Shh! 228 00:08:07,319 --> 00:08:09,287 Rules are a warm security blanket, 229 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,155 smothering all uncertainty. 230 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:11,913 Exactly. 231 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,931 We called this meeting so that we can have an open dialogue 232 00:08:15,051 --> 00:08:16,761 and work together [Loud thud] 233 00:08:16,795 --> 00:08:17,862 - Oh! - Dre: Boom! 234 00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:19,730 - Um... - hmm? 235 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,132 - What's that? - Oh! 236 00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:24,634 This is "the 10,000 commandments." 237 00:08:24,669 --> 00:08:27,137 Commandment number 1... 238 00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:28,614 - "Thou shall not..." - Is he serious? 239 00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:29,359 Uh, yes. 240 00:08:29,479 --> 00:08:31,708 Commandment 1B... 241 00:08:31,742 --> 00:08:35,912 "Thou shall not interrupt the giver of commandments." 242 00:08:35,946 --> 00:08:39,315 "...no TV, Internet, 243 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:40,950 "or parental requests 244 00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:43,052 after 10:00 p.m." 245 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,554 - But... - Aah, aah, aah! 246 00:08:45,588 --> 00:08:47,971 - But... but... - Now in the "should go without saying" 247 00:08:47,972 --> 00:08:50,852 section, "no driving without a license. 248 00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:55,161 and no hanging out with dopes that will hold you back." 249 00:08:55,281 --> 00:08:56,515 But we share a room. 250 00:08:56,549 --> 00:08:59,284 I'm going to punch you in the back while you're asleep. 251 00:09:00,319 --> 00:09:02,187 [Sighs deeply] Nobody's punching anybody in the back 252 00:09:02,307 --> 00:09:03,254 while they're asleep. 253 00:09:03,288 --> 00:09:05,423 And if you find something laying in the middle of the street 254 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,924 that's not quite dead, 255 00:09:06,958 --> 00:09:10,027 thou shall not put it in your sock drawer. 256 00:09:10,062 --> 00:09:11,796 What if you already named it "Gus"? 257 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:13,798 Gus must go. 258 00:09:13,832 --> 00:09:15,099 [Whines] 259 00:09:15,133 --> 00:09:17,635 Probably wasn't gonna make it through the night anyway. 260 00:09:17,669 --> 00:09:20,504 Mom, does this not all seem crazy to you? 261 00:09:20,539 --> 00:09:21,672 - Dre. - Huh? 262 00:09:21,706 --> 00:09:24,141 Um... Could we have a little sidebar in the kitchen? 263 00:09:24,176 --> 00:09:25,242 Fine. 264 00:09:25,277 --> 00:09:27,678 But I will be obeyed. 265 00:09:27,712 --> 00:09:30,181 And yes... [whispers] I'm talking to you. 266 00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:35,184 What was that? 267 00:09:35,219 --> 00:09:36,753 I was about to ask you the same thing. 268 00:09:36,787 --> 00:09:37,921 - Me? - And what was up with 269 00:09:37,955 --> 00:09:39,689 this undermining chicken routine? 270 00:09:39,723 --> 00:09:41,524 Huh?! Every time I spoke, you were like, 271 00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:44,193 "but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but..." [Clucks] 272 00:09:44,228 --> 00:09:46,696 Dre, your rules are over the top. 273 00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:48,264 - These are children. - Mm-hmm. 274 00:09:48,298 --> 00:09:49,432 They're not prisoners. 275 00:09:49,466 --> 00:09:50,633 You let the dog off the leash, 276 00:09:50,668 --> 00:09:52,168 somebody bound to get bit. 277 00:09:52,202 --> 00:09:53,336 Mm-hmm. 278 00:09:53,370 --> 00:09:55,171 All right, maggots! 279 00:09:56,807 --> 00:09:58,274 [Chuckles] 280 00:09:58,308 --> 00:10:00,810 Last chance. Do you wanna run away with us? 281 00:10:00,844 --> 00:10:02,645 We're going somewhere with fewer rules, 282 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:04,780 like a German submarine academy. 283 00:10:05,815 --> 00:10:08,283 Not everyone has the fortitude to live by the law, 284 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:11,019 but we must stay the straight and narrow. 285 00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:13,522 Forget the rules. I need sugar to get over Gus. 286 00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:16,424 By the way, Gus passed. 287 00:10:16,459 --> 00:10:18,693 Don't forget to shut down his Twitter account. 288 00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:20,428 - Oh, yeah. - Before you eat that, 289 00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:22,497 let's examine the good book. 290 00:10:22,531 --> 00:10:23,632 Diane: Hmm? 291 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:26,935 It says, "no sticky stuff in the house." 292 00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:29,437 There's a way around that. 293 00:10:29,472 --> 00:10:33,308 Watch and learn, children. Watch and learn. 294 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,976 [Blinds whoosh] 295 00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:36,778 [Dog barking in distance] 296 00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:40,181 [Mouth full] See? My head is outside, 297 00:10:40,216 --> 00:10:43,785 so I'm not eating it in the house. 298 00:10:43,819 --> 00:10:46,821 And that's what we call a loophole. 299 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,040 - Listening. - The trick is to make the rules 300 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,126 work for you. Take Mitt Romney. 301 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,595 He made more money last year than Belgium 302 00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:57,197 and only paid, like, $27 in taxes. 303 00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:58,298 How? 304 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,968 Completely legal loopholes. 305 00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:03,470 Mind... Blown. 306 00:11:03,504 --> 00:11:05,005 So Taffy up... 307 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,406 And come join me in the loophole. 308 00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:12,145 I'm calling from a landline. 309 00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:16,148 I mean, it sounds better, but I don't care. It's gross. 310 00:11:16,183 --> 00:11:18,250 I'm only allowed to go out one night a month. 311 00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:19,452 So if I go to a movie with you guys, 312 00:11:19,486 --> 00:11:21,587 I can't go to spring formal. 313 00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:23,622 Because my parents are crazy. 314 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,324 - [Clears throat] - Yeah. 315 00:11:25,358 --> 00:11:26,525 Hey, girl! 316 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,893 [Phone beeps] Go away. 317 00:11:27,928 --> 00:11:29,895 Zoey, come on. It's just a movie. 318 00:11:29,930 --> 00:11:32,131 That Daylen Diaz is going to. 319 00:11:32,165 --> 00:11:34,166 - Who's she? - He God, mom. 320 00:11:34,201 --> 00:11:37,303 He's only the guy I've been obsessed with all semester. 321 00:11:38,337 --> 00:11:40,442 And if I don't go, Maya's gonna be there, 322 00:11:40,562 --> 00:11:42,640 shoving her new boobs in his face. 323 00:11:42,675 --> 00:11:44,409 But... You don't care. 324 00:11:44,443 --> 00:11:47,414 No, I-I-I do care. 325 00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:49,550 Don't be mad at me. D... 326 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,118 Zoey... [door closes] 327 00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:54,054 These are your father's rules, okay? They're not mine. 328 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,323 If it were up to me, I would let you go. 329 00:11:56,358 --> 00:11:58,325 I mean, Maya? Ugh. 330 00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,493 I haven't liked her ever since 331 00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:01,261 she hacked into your club penguin account 332 00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:03,130 and rearranged all that furniture. 333 00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:04,765 [Sighs deeply] 334 00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,867 You can't let Maya get Daylen. 335 00:12:06,901 --> 00:12:08,068 So you'll let me go? 336 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,303 W... 337 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:10,871 I would love to, 338 00:12:10,905 --> 00:12:12,773 but I can't do that unilaterally. 339 00:12:12,807 --> 00:12:15,676 I mean, maybe we can get your dad to change his mind. 340 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:17,944 That'll never happen. 341 00:12:17,978 --> 00:12:19,612 It might. 342 00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:24,317 Have you ever told your dad that he looked skinny? 343 00:12:24,351 --> 00:12:26,085 Why would I say that? 344 00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:28,721 Do you wanna go to the movies or not? 345 00:12:28,755 --> 00:12:30,856 ♪ 346 00:12:30,891 --> 00:12:32,458 And it's just CityWalk. 347 00:12:32,492 --> 00:12:33,993 It's not even a real city. 348 00:12:34,027 --> 00:12:36,729 So really, I'm not asking for anything. 349 00:12:36,763 --> 00:12:39,599 Mm-hmm. 350 00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:43,969 You're looking so slender lately, dad. 351 00:12:44,003 --> 00:12:46,171 Uh, have you been working out? 352 00:12:46,205 --> 00:12:48,039 Well, I did a push-up yesterday. 353 00:12:48,074 --> 00:12:49,207 - Oh! - I saw him do it. 354 00:12:49,242 --> 00:12:50,342 [Chuckles] Wow. 355 00:12:50,376 --> 00:12:51,810 Are you trying to work me? 356 00:12:51,844 --> 00:12:52,877 It is working? 357 00:12:52,912 --> 00:12:54,012 - No. - No? 358 00:12:54,046 --> 00:12:56,314 Now tell me, who exactly is going? 359 00:12:56,349 --> 00:12:57,549 Uh, well... 360 00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:59,651 Maya, Chloe, Beth, 361 00:12:59,685 --> 00:13:01,419 - Daylen... - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold... hold on. 362 00:13:01,454 --> 00:13:04,689 Daylen? What... what kind of name is Daylen? 363 00:13:04,724 --> 00:13:07,058 Uh, it's a... it's a-a very... 364 00:13:07,093 --> 00:13:08,893 - Uh, popular name with girls. - Yeah. 365 00:13:08,928 --> 00:13:10,929 Yeah, uh, girls love Daylen. 366 00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:12,330 It's basically just a girls' night out. 367 00:13:12,364 --> 00:13:14,799 So you cool with this, Bow? 368 00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,668 Well, I mean, it's totally against the rules, 369 00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:18,036 but I'm game if you're game. 370 00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:20,071 All right, let me tell you how this is gonna go down. 371 00:13:20,105 --> 00:13:21,894 - Mm-hmm - I'll let you hang with your little 372 00:13:22,014 --> 00:13:27,111 girlfriends, but you have to be back in this house by 11:30 sharp. 373 00:13:27,146 --> 00:13:29,814 Thank you, dad. You are the best. 374 00:13:29,848 --> 00:13:31,049 - See that? - Mm-hmm. 375 00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,817 Power and mercy. 376 00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:34,919 - [Whispers] Yeah. - [Chuckles] 377 00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:37,622 You are as wise as you are skinny. 378 00:13:37,656 --> 00:13:39,657 Yeah, I think you're making fun of me. 379 00:13:39,692 --> 00:13:41,359 - No. - And I forgive you. 380 00:13:41,393 --> 00:13:42,960 Mnh. Okay. 381 00:13:42,995 --> 00:13:46,926 Power... And mercy. 382 00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:49,737 So you've been a real father for, what, two days? 383 00:13:49,738 --> 00:13:51,838 You have any idea where your daughter is right now? 384 00:13:52,239 --> 00:13:54,326 Longitude or latitude, huh? 385 00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:56,884 See that green dot right there at CityWalk? That's Zoey. 386 00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:59,486 I could send in a drone and wipe her off the face of the earth, 387 00:13:59,521 --> 00:14:02,956 or I could send her a delicious tin of Garrett's popcorn. 388 00:14:02,991 --> 00:14:04,558 I don't understand why you need all that high-tech crap 389 00:14:04,592 --> 00:14:05,859 to keep tabs on your kids. 390 00:14:05,894 --> 00:14:07,127 I mean, I hired a homeless guy to follow you, 391 00:14:07,162 --> 00:14:09,930 - keep you out of trouble. - [Chuckles] 392 00:14:09,965 --> 00:14:12,333 You mean the white dude in the beret with no neck? 393 00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:16,937 [Dogs barking in distance] 394 00:14:21,142 --> 00:14:22,409 Paid him with a crown royal bag full of quarters. 395 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,445 Told me everything I needed to know. 396 00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:26,246 I thought that dude was trying to kidnap me. 397 00:14:26,281 --> 00:14:28,449 Pops, you told me I was being paranoid! 398 00:14:29,483 --> 00:14:31,651 You do realize that experience shaped 399 00:14:31,685 --> 00:14:33,452 the way I feel about white people. 400 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:35,288 Son, No-Neck Tony loved you. 401 00:14:35,322 --> 00:14:36,556 And on the bright side, 402 00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:38,157 you never got kidnapped by a white man. 403 00:14:38,192 --> 00:14:39,358 What? 404 00:14:39,393 --> 00:14:41,561 I'm going to get some coffee. You want some? 405 00:14:41,595 --> 00:14:43,329 Another fun loophole... 406 00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:45,665 dad said no late night eating, 407 00:14:45,699 --> 00:14:49,535 but he didn't say no late night drinking. 408 00:14:49,569 --> 00:14:50,836 Aw, yeah! 409 00:14:50,871 --> 00:14:53,906 [Whirs] Whoa! 410 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,842 Behold... the Hamburger-Smoothie. 411 00:14:56,877 --> 00:14:58,911 And what's a burger without fries? 412 00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:02,014 [Resumes whirring] 413 00:15:02,049 --> 00:15:04,016 So curfew was what, 11:30? 414 00:15:04,084 --> 00:15:06,118 She gonna make it home in, uh... 45 seconds? 415 00:15:06,153 --> 00:15:08,354 [Laughs] No-Neck Tony would've knocked you out 416 00:15:08,388 --> 00:15:09,722 and had you home by now. 417 00:15:09,756 --> 00:15:11,090 I thought those were blackouts. 418 00:15:11,124 --> 00:15:13,525 - I was convinced I had epilepsy. - Well, that's on you. 419 00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:14,660 When I heard Tony's shopping cart coming, 420 00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:15,961 I knew you were all right. 421 00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:17,630 You know what? Zoey will be here in time. 422 00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:19,498 I have control over my children. 423 00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:20,966 Uh-huh. 424 00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:24,503 Junior, what did I tell you about eating after dinner? 425 00:15:24,538 --> 00:15:27,172 I'm not eating, dad. I'm drinking. 426 00:15:27,207 --> 00:15:29,141 A cheeseburger smoothie with fries. 427 00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,043 - Loophole! - Ohh. Clever. 428 00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:32,278 How's it taste? 429 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,814 [Slurps] 430 00:15:35,882 --> 00:15:37,950 - Awesome! - I see. 431 00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:41,420 Now drink every chunky drop. 432 00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:44,723 [Mouth full] Mnh! Oh, God. Pickle. 433 00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:45,791 [Coughs] See? 434 00:15:45,825 --> 00:15:46,925 I'm in control. 398 00:14:29,483 --> 00:14:31,651 You do realize that experience shaped 399 00:14:31,685 --> 00:14:33,452 the way I feel about white people. 400 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:35,288 Son, No-Neck Tony loved you. 401 00:14:35,322 --> 00:14:36,556 And on the bright side, 402 00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:38,157 you never got kidnapped by a white man. 403 00:14:38,192 --> 00:14:39,358 What? 404 00:14:39,393 --> 00:14:41,561 I'm going to get some coffee. You want some? 405 00:14:41,595 --> 00:14:43,329 Another fun loophole... 406 00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:45,665 dad said no late night eating, 407 00:14:45,699 --> 00:14:49,535 but he didn't say no late night drinking. 408 00:14:49,569 --> 00:14:50,836 Aw, yeah! 409 00:14:50,871 --> 00:14:53,906 [Whirs] Whoa! 410 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,842 Behold... the Hamburger-Smoothie. 411 00:14:56,877 --> 00:14:58,911 And what's a burger without fries? 412 00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:02,014 [Resumes whirring] 413 00:15:02,049 --> 00:15:04,016 So curfew was what, 11:30? 414 00:15:04,084 --> 00:15:06,118 She gonna make it home in, uh... 45 seconds? 415 00:15:06,153 --> 00:15:08,354 [Laughs] No-Neck Tony would've knocked you out 416 00:15:08,388 --> 00:15:09,722 and had you home by now. 417 00:15:09,756 --> 00:15:11,090 I thought those were blackouts. 418 00:15:11,124 --> 00:15:13,525 - I was convinced I had epilepsy. - Well, that's on you. 419 00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:14,660 When I heard Tony's shopping cart coming, 420 00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:15,961 I knew you were all right. 421 00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:17,630 You know what? Zoey will be here in time. 422 00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:19,498 I have control over my children. 423 00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:20,966 Uh-huh. 424 00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:24,503 Junior, what did I tell you about eating after dinner? 425 00:15:24,538 --> 00:15:27,172 I'm not eating, dad. I'm drinking. 426 00:15:27,207 --> 00:15:29,141 A cheeseburger smoothie with fries. 427 00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,043 - Loophole! - Ohh. Clever. 428 00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:32,278 How's it taste? 429 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,814 [Slurps] 430 00:15:35,882 --> 00:15:37,950 - Awesome! - I see. 431 00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:41,420 Now drink every chunky drop. 432 00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:44,723 [Mouth full] Mnh! Oh, God. Pickle. 433 00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:45,791 [Coughs] See? 434 00:15:45,825 --> 00:15:46,925 I'm in control. 435 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,061 Your son is drinking meat. 436 00:15:49,095 --> 00:15:51,296 Tight ship. 437 00:15:52,331 --> 00:15:54,032 Rainbow: Hey, it's Bow. Leave a message. 438 00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:55,166 [Beep] 439 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,534 Bow, call me. 440 00:15:56,568 --> 00:15:57,769 Have you heard from Zoey? 441 00:15:57,803 --> 00:15:59,871 She's an hour late for her curfew, and... 442 00:15:59,905 --> 00:16:01,506 I don't wanna sound like a woman, but... 443 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,942 [Voice breaks] Oh, God. I'm worried sick! 444 00:16:04,977 --> 00:16:06,677 [Door opens] 445 00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:07,745 [Dog barking in distance] 446 00:16:10,782 --> 00:16:12,550 - Hey... Dad. - Yeah. 447 00:16:12,618 --> 00:16:17,555 Give me a second to experience relief that you're not dead. 448 00:16:17,589 --> 00:16:18,956 [Exhales deeply] 449 00:16:18,991 --> 00:16:20,258 Where the hell have you been, huh?! 450 00:16:20,292 --> 00:16:21,692 I... you better have a damn good story! 451 00:16:21,727 --> 00:16:23,060 And I don't care what the story is, 452 00:16:23,095 --> 00:16:24,996 it's never gonna be good enough! Start talking, girl! 453 00:16:25,030 --> 00:16:27,198 - It was... - Shut up! I don't wanna hear it! 454 00:16:27,232 --> 00:16:29,267 I don't know what to do now. 455 00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:31,969 Yeah. Lucky for you, neither do I. 456 00:16:32,004 --> 00:16:36,173 You obliterated your curfew without so much as a phone call. 457 00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:37,942 Oh, my phone died. 458 00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:39,276 So you were at a phone funeral? 459 00:16:39,311 --> 00:16:40,678 - That's where you were? - No, no, no. 460 00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:42,046 Uh-huh! Look at this. Uh-huh. 461 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,849 Oh, my God. You made a fake fingerprint? 462 00:16:45,883 --> 00:16:47,917 Yeah. That'll teach you to drink milk without gloves. 463 00:16:47,952 --> 00:16:49,285 Hold that. 464 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,921 Dre: Then the whole sordid affair 465 00:16:51,956 --> 00:16:53,790 played out in front of me. 466 00:16:53,824 --> 00:16:58,027 I realized my daughter was living a dark, secret life... 467 00:16:58,062 --> 00:16:59,629 With my wife! 468 00:17:10,441 --> 00:17:12,675 Zoey' voice: L.O.L. Daylen asked me to spring formal. 469 00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:15,345 He's so cute. Maya cried! 470 00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:17,413 Emoji heart, emoji heart, emoji heart... 471 00:17:24,088 --> 00:17:25,421 Zoey's voice: Mom, ride left early... 472 00:17:34,031 --> 00:17:35,832 Dre: I felt so betrayed. 473 00:17:35,866 --> 00:17:37,900 Bow helped Zoey play me? 474 00:17:37,935 --> 00:17:39,735 Daylen is a boy? 475 00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:41,337 And I don't want to sound like woman, but... 476 00:17:41,371 --> 00:17:43,806 [Stomps foot] [Voice breaks] They think I'm fat. 477 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,338 [Door closes] 478 00:17:52,878 --> 00:17:54,453 - Hello, rainbow. - [Gasps] 479 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:56,695 [Switch clicks] Dre! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! 480 00:17:56,729 --> 00:17:58,129 You're the one sneaking in. 481 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,898 Or coming home from work. 482 00:17:59,932 --> 00:18:03,134 Mm-hmm. Hey, is there anything you'd like to talk about? 483 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,937 Any conspiracies you'd like to reveal? 484 00:18:05,971 --> 00:18:08,006 Uh... Not that I can think of. 485 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,174 You. 486 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:10,342 Uber. 487 00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:13,712 Zoey's girlfriend Daylen having a penis. 488 00:18:13,746 --> 00:18:16,314 You didn't stand strong, Bow! 489 00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:18,917 [Sighs deeply] You're right. 490 00:18:18,951 --> 00:18:21,352 I'm sorry. Okay, I just wanted... 491 00:18:21,387 --> 00:18:22,687 - yeah, admit it! - I... 492 00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:26,090 admit that you just wanted to be friends with her. 493 00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:27,625 Yeah, that's what I was about to say. 494 00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,894 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. It was a part of my apology. 495 00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:31,029 Oh, I didn't hear it. 496 00:18:31,063 --> 00:18:32,230 - I was wrong. - Mm-hmm. 497 00:18:32,264 --> 00:18:33,965 Okay? But she was letting me back in, 498 00:18:33,999 --> 00:18:35,700 and I just couldn't resist. So I... 499 00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:38,369 I gave her a couple of tips about how to handle you. 500 00:18:38,404 --> 00:18:42,040 Since when have I needed to be handled? 501 00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:44,342 Since you became a crazy person? 502 00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:46,277 - Mm-hmm. - Your heart is in the right place, 503 00:18:46,312 --> 00:18:48,579 but you can be very scary. 504 00:18:48,614 --> 00:18:52,050 You were sitting in the dark, waiting for a grown-ass woman. 505 00:18:52,084 --> 00:18:54,118 That's why the kids come to me. 506 00:18:54,153 --> 00:18:55,286 Youse a scary man. 507 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,622 I am not scary. 508 00:18:57,656 --> 00:19:00,725 I'm cuddly and lovable, damn it! 509 00:19:00,759 --> 00:19:02,226 This hit me hard. 510 00:19:02,261 --> 00:19:04,529 I needed to get some outside opinions 511 00:19:04,563 --> 00:19:06,597 on whether I was scary or not. 512 00:19:06,632 --> 00:19:09,267 - Hey, guys! - [All scream] 513 00:19:09,301 --> 00:19:11,836 Okay, I was just gonna ask if I was scary, but... 514 00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:13,271 Oh, yeah. Terrifying. 515 00:19:13,305 --> 00:19:16,107 Are you sure you're just not afraid of black dudes? 516 00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:18,042 Totally, but you're a special case. 517 00:19:18,076 --> 00:19:20,444 I mean, just hearing you breathe cures my hiccups. 518 00:19:20,479 --> 00:19:21,779 Yeah, it's you, maing. 519 00:19:21,813 --> 00:19:23,748 Hey, people who know me know that 520 00:19:23,782 --> 00:19:26,284 I am a cuddly and lovable guy. 521 00:19:26,318 --> 00:19:27,818 Who can be a little hard to talk to. 522 00:19:27,853 --> 00:19:29,620 And doesn't take criticism well. 523 00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:31,022 For example, Dre, 524 00:19:31,056 --> 00:19:33,824 all of the original artwork you did for the Buick pitch 525 00:19:33,859 --> 00:19:35,092 said "Biuck." 526 00:19:35,127 --> 00:19:36,627 - What? - And I knew you'd 527 00:19:36,662 --> 00:19:38,596 fly off the handle if I pointed it out to you, 528 00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,931 so I asked Charlie to change it without telling you. 529 00:19:40,966 --> 00:19:42,033 See? 530 00:19:42,067 --> 00:19:45,436 "Experience the new Biuck"? Charlie! 531 00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:48,472 I-I was s-scared to... to ch-change it. 532 00:19:48,507 --> 00:19:51,175 When people whose judgment you don't trust at all 533 00:19:51,209 --> 00:19:53,144 are still able to size you up, 534 00:19:53,178 --> 00:19:54,779 it's time to listen. 535 00:19:54,813 --> 00:19:56,947 So I decided to ease up a bit 536 00:19:56,982 --> 00:19:58,983 and let Zoey go to spring formal. 537 00:19:59,017 --> 00:20:00,851 Now have fun, and remember, 538 00:20:00,886 --> 00:20:03,087 no Vespas and no vaping. 539 00:20:03,121 --> 00:20:05,256 - What? - I see everything. 540 00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:08,192 Dre, it's enough. She learned her lesson. 541 00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:09,360 - All right. - Rainbow: Bye, babe. 542 00:20:09,394 --> 00:20:10,694 Have fun! [Chuckles] 543 00:20:10,729 --> 00:20:11,896 [Car door closes] 544 00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,697 - Nice moment, huh? - Mm-hmm. 545 00:20:13,732 --> 00:20:15,699 Daughter off to the spring formal 546 00:20:15,734 --> 00:20:17,935 with the blessing of both her moms. 547 00:20:17,969 --> 00:20:19,303 What are you trying to say, pops? 548 00:20:19,337 --> 00:20:21,305 I'm not trying to say anything. I said it. 549 00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:22,506 - Son, you're soft. - I... 550 00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:24,008 you're lady soft. 551 00:20:24,042 --> 00:20:26,343 You're ladysoft black mambazo. 552 00:20:26,378 --> 00:20:29,013 So... Text me pictures. 553 00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:30,814 Text me stories. 554 00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:32,149 - Just text me, okay? - Got it. 555 00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:33,517 Wait, this... 556 00:20:33,551 --> 00:20:35,445 That's funny. My seat's so close. [Whirring] 557 00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:38,095 Ooh! Lumbar's off, too. 558 00:20:38,096 --> 00:20:39,331 Weird. 559 00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:44,303 Someone swapped my Beck for Beyoncé? [Seat belt clicks] 560 00:20:49,341 --> 00:20:51,108 Get out of the car. 561 00:20:51,109 --> 00:20:54,345 - Get... Out... Of... The car! - [Groans] 562 00:20:54,346 --> 00:20:56,280 Are you kidding me? 563 00:20:56,281 --> 00:20:57,348 - Zo-zo? - What's going on? 564 00:20:57,349 --> 00:20:59,317 - She drove my car. - What? 565 00:20:59,318 --> 00:21:01,352 You know what? She is not going to the spring formal. 566 00:21:01,353 --> 00:21:03,254 She's not leaving the house. [Door closes] 567 00:21:03,255 --> 00:21:05,122 She might not go to college. 568 00:21:05,123 --> 00:21:07,158 Zoey! [Door opens] 569 00:21:07,159 --> 00:21:08,648 [Lowered voice] Well, son, looks like your wife decided 570 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,394 to sac up and grow a pair, huh? 571 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,230 You're off the hook. 572 00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:15,515 Rainbow: Go to your room! 573 00:21:15,635 --> 00:21:18,476 I do not want to see your face! Ugh! å 435 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,061 Your son is drinking meat. 436 00:15:52,095 --> 00:15:54,296 Tight ship. 437 00:15:54,331 --> 00:15:56,032 Rainbow: Hey, it's Bow. Leave a message. 438 00:15:56,066 --> 00:15:57,166 [Beep] 439 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,534 Bow, call me. 440 00:15:58,568 --> 00:15:59,769 Have you heard from Zoey? 441 00:15:59,803 --> 00:16:01,871 She's an hour late for her curfew, and... 442 00:16:01,905 --> 00:16:03,506 I don't wanna sound like a woman, but... 443 00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:06,942 [Voice breaks] Oh, God. I'm worried sick! 444 00:16:06,977 --> 00:16:08,677 [Door opens] 445 00:16:08,712 --> 00:16:09,745 [Dog barking in distance] 446 00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:14,550 - Hey... Dad. - Yeah. 447 00:16:14,618 --> 00:16:19,555 Give me a second to experience relief that you're not dead. 448 00:16:19,589 --> 00:16:20,956 [Exhales deeply] 449 00:16:20,991 --> 00:16:22,258 Where the hell have you been, huh?! 450 00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:23,692 I... you better have a damn good story! 451 00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:25,060 And I don't care what the story is, 452 00:16:25,095 --> 00:16:26,996 it's never gonna be good enough! Start talking, girl! 453 00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:29,198 - It was... - Shut up! I don't wanna hear it! 454 00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:31,267 I don't know what to do now. 455 00:16:31,301 --> 00:16:33,969 Yeah. Lucky for you, neither do I. 456 00:16:34,004 --> 00:16:38,173 You obliterated your curfew without so much as a phone call. 457 00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:39,942 Oh, my phone died. 458 00:16:39,976 --> 00:16:41,276 So you were at a phone funeral? 459 00:16:41,311 --> 00:16:42,678 - That's where you were? - No, no, no. 460 00:16:42,712 --> 00:16:44,046 Uh-huh! Look at this. Uh-huh. 461 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,849 Oh, my God. You made a fake fingerprint? 462 00:16:46,883 --> 00:16:48,917 Yeah. That'll teach you to drink milk without gloves. 463 00:16:48,952 --> 00:16:50,285 Hold that. 464 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,921 Dre: Then the whole sordid affair 465 00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:54,790 played out in front of me. 466 00:16:54,824 --> 00:16:59,027 I realized my daughter was living a dark, secret life... 467 00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:00,629 With my wife! 468 00:17:11,441 --> 00:17:13,675 Zoey' voice: L.O.L. Daylen asked me to spring formal. 469 00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:16,345 He's so cute. Maya cried! 470 00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:18,413 Emoji heart, emoji heart, emoji heart... 471 00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,421 Zoey's voice: Mom, ride left early... 472 00:17:35,031 --> 00:17:36,832 Dre: I felt so betrayed. 473 00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:38,900 Bow helped Zoey play me? 474 00:17:38,935 --> 00:17:40,735 Daylen is a boy? 475 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,337 And I don't want to sound like woman, but... 476 00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,806 [Stomps foot] [Voice breaks] They think I'm fat. 477 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:53,338 [Door closes] 478 00:17:53,878 --> 00:17:55,453 - Hello, rainbow. - [Gasps] 479 00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:57,695 [Switch clicks] Dre! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! 480 00:17:57,729 --> 00:17:59,129 You're the one sneaking in. 481 00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:00,898 Or coming home from work. 482 00:18:00,932 --> 00:18:04,134 Mm-hmm. Hey, is there anything you'd like to talk about? 483 00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:06,937 Any conspiracies you'd like to reveal? 484 00:18:06,971 --> 00:18:09,006 Uh... Not that I can think of. 485 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,174 You. 486 00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:11,342 Uber. 487 00:18:11,376 --> 00:18:14,712 Zoey's girlfriend Daylen having a penis. 488 00:18:14,746 --> 00:18:17,314 You didn't stand strong, Bow! 489 00:18:17,382 --> 00:18:19,917 [Sighs deeply] You're right. 490 00:18:19,951 --> 00:18:22,352 I'm sorry. Okay, I just wanted... 491 00:18:22,387 --> 00:18:23,687 - yeah, admit it! - I... 492 00:18:23,721 --> 00:18:27,090 admit that you just wanted to be friends with her. 493 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:28,625 Yeah, that's what I was about to say. 494 00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:30,894 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. It was a part of my apology. 495 00:18:30,929 --> 00:18:32,029 Oh, I didn't hear it. 496 00:18:32,063 --> 00:18:33,230 - I was wrong. - Mm-hmm. 497 00:18:33,264 --> 00:18:34,965 Okay? But she was letting me back in, 498 00:18:34,999 --> 00:18:36,700 and I just couldn't resist. So I... 499 00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:39,369 I gave her a couple of tips about how to handle you. 500 00:18:39,404 --> 00:18:43,040 Since when have I needed to be handled? 501 00:18:43,074 --> 00:18:45,342 Since you became a crazy person? 502 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:47,277 - Mm-hmm. - Your heart is in the right place, 503 00:18:47,312 --> 00:18:49,579 but you can be very scary. 504 00:18:49,614 --> 00:18:53,050 You were sitting in the dark, waiting for a grown-ass woman. 505 00:18:53,084 --> 00:18:55,118 That's why the kids come to me. 506 00:18:55,153 --> 00:18:56,286 Youse a scary man. 507 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,622 I am not scary. 508 00:18:58,656 --> 00:19:01,725 I'm cuddly and lovable, damn it! 509 00:19:01,759 --> 00:19:03,226 This hit me hard. 510 00:19:03,261 --> 00:19:05,529 I needed to get some outside opinions 511 00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:07,597 on whether I was scary or not. 512 00:19:07,632 --> 00:19:10,267 - Hey, guys! - [All scream] 513 00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:12,836 Okay, I was just gonna ask if I was scary, but... 514 00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:14,271 Oh, yeah. Terrifying. 515 00:19:14,305 --> 00:19:17,107 Are you sure you're just not afraid of black dudes? 516 00:19:17,141 --> 00:19:19,042 Totally, but you're a special case. 517 00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:21,444 I mean, just hearing you breathe cures my hiccups. 518 00:19:21,479 --> 00:19:22,779 Yeah, it's you, maing. 519 00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,748 Hey, people who know me know that 520 00:19:24,782 --> 00:19:27,284 I am a cuddly and lovable guy. 521 00:19:27,318 --> 00:19:28,818 Who can be a little hard to talk to. 522 00:19:28,853 --> 00:19:30,620 And doesn't take criticism well. 523 00:19:30,655 --> 00:19:32,022 For example, Dre, 524 00:19:32,056 --> 00:19:34,824 all of the original artwork you did for the Buick pitch 525 00:19:34,859 --> 00:19:36,092 said "Biuck." 526 00:19:36,127 --> 00:19:37,627 - What? - And I knew you'd 527 00:19:37,662 --> 00:19:39,596 fly off the handle if I pointed it out to you, 528 00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,931 so I asked Charlie to change it without telling you. 529 00:19:41,966 --> 00:19:43,033 See? 530 00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:46,436 "Experience the new Biuck"? Charlie! 531 00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:49,472 I-I was s-scared to... to ch-change it. 532 00:19:49,507 --> 00:19:52,175 When people whose judgment you don't trust at all 533 00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:54,144 are still able to size you up, 534 00:19:54,178 --> 00:19:55,779 it's time to listen. 535 00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:57,947 So I decided to ease up a bit 536 00:19:57,982 --> 00:19:59,983 and let Zoey go to spring formal. 537 00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:01,851 Now have fun, and remember, 538 00:20:01,886 --> 00:20:04,087 no Vespas and no vaping. 539 00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:06,256 - What? - I see everything. 540 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:09,192 Dre, it's enough. She learned her lesson. 541 00:20:09,226 --> 00:20:10,360 - All right. - Rainbow: Bye, babe. 542 00:20:10,394 --> 00:20:11,694 Have fun! [Chuckles] 543 00:20:11,729 --> 00:20:12,896 [Car door closes] 544 00:20:12,930 --> 00:20:14,697 - Nice moment, huh? - Mm-hmm. 545 00:20:14,732 --> 00:20:16,699 Daughter off to the spring formal 546 00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:18,935 with the blessing of both her moms. 547 00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:20,303 What are you trying to say, pops? 548 00:20:20,337 --> 00:20:22,305 I'm not trying to say anything. I said it. 549 00:20:22,339 --> 00:20:23,506 - Son, you're soft. - I... 550 00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:25,008 you're lady soft. 551 00:20:25,042 --> 00:20:27,343 You're ladysoft black mambazo. 552 00:20:27,378 --> 00:20:30,013 So... Text me pictures. 553 00:20:30,047 --> 00:20:31,814 Text me stories. 554 00:20:31,849 --> 00:20:33,149 - Just text me, okay? - Got it. 555 00:20:33,183 --> 00:20:34,517 Wait, this... 556 00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:36,445 That's funny. My seat's so close. [Whirring] 557 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,095 Ooh! Lumbar's off, too. 558 00:20:39,096 --> 00:20:40,331 Weird. 559 00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:45,303 Someone swapped my Beck for Beyoncé? [Seat belt clicks] 560 00:20:50,341 --> 00:20:52,108 Get out of the car. 561 00:20:52,109 --> 00:20:55,345 - Get... Out... Of... The car! - [Groans] 562 00:20:55,346 --> 00:20:57,280 Are you kidding me? 563 00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:58,348 - Zo-zo? - What's going on? 564 00:20:58,349 --> 00:21:00,317 - She drove my car. - What? 565 00:21:00,318 --> 00:21:02,352 You know what? She is not going to the spring formal. 566 00:21:02,353 --> 00:21:04,254 She's not leaving the house. [Door closes] 567 00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:06,122 She might not go to college. 568 00:21:06,123 --> 00:21:08,158 Zoey! [Door opens] 569 00:21:08,159 --> 00:21:09,648 [Lowered voice] Well, son, looks like your wife decided 570 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,394 to sac up and grow a pair, huh? 571 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,230 You're off the hook. 572 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,515 Rainbow: Go to your room! 573 00:21:16,635 --> 00:21:19,476 I do not want to see your face! Ugh!