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I'm a great dad.
No, I'm the greatest dad.
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00:00:04,188 --> 00:00:05,687
If Nas and Michael Jordan
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00:00:05,750 --> 00:00:08,607
had a baby that was
a great dad, it'd be me.
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00:00:08,677 --> 00:00:09,804
Tuition.
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00:00:09,857 --> 00:00:10,956
Paid in full.
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Cash?
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I threw a little something
extra in for you.
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00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:15,305
Pah-pow!
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00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:17,496
I support them academically.
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00:00:17,565 --> 00:00:19,665
Dad, I'm having
the hardest time with algebra.
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00:00:19,734 --> 00:00:22,134
Well, good thing you
came to the math king.
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If Nas and Michael Jordan
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had a baby that was
great at math, it'd be me.
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00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:29,241
And I'm always there for them
when they need me the most.
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- Hey, son.
- Yeah.
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00:00:30,932 --> 00:00:32,770
That street cat chased me up here again.
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00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,513
Yeah, you're gonna have
to stop walking around
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00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:36,082
with meat in your pocket.
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00:00:36,184 --> 00:00:37,583
Hey, Bow!
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00:00:37,652 --> 00:00:39,072
Gonna need my ladder.
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00:00:39,854 --> 00:00:43,856
I pride myself on being
the GOAT of dads.
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So, if there's something
I'm not doing, it's news to me.
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Good morning.
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00:00:48,863 --> 00:00:50,129
Dre Johnson, right?
25
00:00:50,198 --> 00:00:51,397
Yeah.
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00:00:51,499 --> 00:00:53,566
Vincent Broadnax. New dad here.
27
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Oh! Hey, Vincent. Welcome, man.
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Always good to have another
brother at the school.
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Hey, if there's anything
I can help you with,
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I got your back.
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00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:02,975
Well, there is one thing.
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Anything.
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00:01:04,078 --> 00:01:05,311
I'd like you to volunteer for
34
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,946
the Valley Glen Give Back Day.
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00:01:07,014 --> 00:01:07,947
Nope.
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00:01:08,049 --> 00:01:09,715
I thought he was going to ask me
37
00:01:09,817 --> 00:01:11,350
which teachers are racist.
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Volunteer?
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No, thank you.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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Volunteer?
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00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:23,996
- Come on, Dre.
- Hey!
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It's gonna be fun.
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00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,467
The Give Back Day carnival
is a chance for our kids
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to see their parents
getting their hands dirty
46
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and to do some good for
our Valley Glen community.
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Hey, you know what, man?
I'm really busy at work.
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You know, client dinners,
e-mails, reports.
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I... You know how hard it is to get out
50
00:01:40,615 --> 00:01:41,914
from under all that stuff, right?
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00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:45,618
Well, actually, I'm a stay-at-home dad.
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00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:46,652
Oh.
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00:01:46,754 --> 00:01:47,853
Okay.
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00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:50,156
That, um... Good for you.
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Yeah. You know, it's the best
job I've ever had.
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00:01:53,327 --> 00:01:54,593
- I know you're busy.
- Mm.
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But don't you think
it's important that dads
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stay involved in their kids' lives?
59
00:01:58,332 --> 00:02:00,633
Uh, you know, man?
Hey, I'm cool, all right?
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00:02:00,735 --> 00:02:03,502
A-As a matter of fact,
I'm overly involved.
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00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:04,570
You know?
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00:02:04,672 --> 00:02:06,772
M-My kids tell me to back off
all the time.
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All I'm saying is you
can't get these years back,
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and they go so fast.
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I'm good.
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00:02:14,315 --> 00:02:16,182
All right, Josh, you have our
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00:02:16,284 --> 00:02:17,783
undivided attention. Go.
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00:02:17,885 --> 00:02:21,053
So, what's AT&T TV?
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00:02:21,155 --> 00:02:23,422
It's the new premium TV service
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for all your entertainment needs...
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00:02:24,826 --> 00:02:25,958
W... Oh, no.
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00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,626
You guys aren't gonna believe this.
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This dad at school said I'm not
involved in my kids' lives.
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00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:32,998
- What?
- Me!
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00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,701
Okay. Uh, Josh, you now have
half of my attention.
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00:02:35,803 --> 00:02:37,102
Oh. Okay. Great.
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00:02:37,205 --> 00:02:40,372
Uh, so, as I was saying, with AT&T TV,
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you can find what you love
with a voice command.
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00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:45,010
For instance, to find "The Bachelor,"
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00:02:45,112 --> 00:02:47,279
just say, "Play 'The Bachelor.'"
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It's that easy.
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Outstanding work, Joshua.
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I just have one question.
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00:02:51,252 --> 00:02:52,818
Who does this dad think he is, Dre?
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00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,153
I know, right?
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00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:56,455
Because I am super involved
in my kids' lives.
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- Mm-hmm.
- Guys, if I could just
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- finish this...
- Besides, I have a full-time job.
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00:02:59,761 --> 00:03:01,694
- My schedule is jam-packed.
- Yeah.
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00:03:01,796 --> 00:03:03,785
I work a hundred hours a week.
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00:03:03,871 --> 00:03:04,996
Oh, whoa. A hundred hours?
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00:03:05,099 --> 00:03:06,265
- It feels like it.
- Okay.
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00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,834
Meanwhile, this dude has
all the time in the world
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00:03:08,936 --> 00:03:11,203
to volunteer because
he is a stay-at-home dad.
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00:03:11,305 --> 00:03:13,506
Ha! I-I think you misheard that.
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00:03:13,608 --> 00:03:14,740
I think it's pronounced
"stay-at-home mom."
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00:03:14,842 --> 00:03:16,642
- Mnh-mnh.
- So was Mrs. Doubtfire.
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00:03:16,744 --> 00:03:18,477
Hey, let's watch it on AT&T TV,
the new premium...
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00:03:18,579 --> 00:03:21,661
- This guy is a stay-at-home dad?
- Damn it!
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00:03:21,686 --> 00:03:22,606
Yep.
101
00:03:22,631 --> 00:03:24,694
- Is he under house arrest?
- Mnh-mm.
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00:03:24,725 --> 00:03:26,585
Witness protection?
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00:03:26,687 --> 00:03:27,953
Is he a ghost?
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Look, I work my fingers
to the bone to provide
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an incredible life for my family
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while this dude goes goat yoga.
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00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:35,761
- Hmm.
- You know what?
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00:03:35,863 --> 00:03:38,197
I'm not gonna even
let him get in my head.
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00:03:38,299 --> 00:03:40,266
Woo-sah.
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00:03:40,368 --> 00:03:43,002
Let's all just take
a break and order lunch.
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00:03:43,104 --> 00:03:44,570
That is a great idea, Dre.
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AT&T TV, eject three
meat lover's pizzas.
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Charlie, that's not how that works.
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I understand.
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Eject three cheese pizzas.
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00:04:00,087 --> 00:04:01,821
They're cooking.
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00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:04,423
Hey, guys.
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00:04:04,525 --> 00:04:05,357
- Hey.
- Hey.
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00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:06,459
Oh!
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00:04:06,527 --> 00:04:08,327
So, that's what
Steve Harvey's been up to.
121
00:04:08,429 --> 00:04:10,196
Anyway, I know you
didn't get your flu shot,
122
00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:11,931
but the hospital just got restocked.
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00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,266
Oh, okay. Cool.
I'll make an appointment.
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00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:15,634
Oh, no, you won't.
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00:04:15,703 --> 00:04:18,270
Rainbow, why are you
trying to inject my grandson
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00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:21,006
with white people mystery chemicals?
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00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:23,442
Oh, Ruby, please tell me
you're not one of those people
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00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:25,544
that believes in the conspiracy theories
129
00:04:25,646 --> 00:04:26,912
around the flu shot.
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00:04:27,014 --> 00:04:28,481
Ruby, you need to get one.
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00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,883
You are in the demographic
that is most likely
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00:04:30,985 --> 00:04:32,218
to die from the flu, Ruby.
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00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,619
You're old.
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00:04:33,721 --> 00:04:36,455
You don't need to
repeat your Big Fluoride
135
00:04:36,557 --> 00:04:37,890
talking points to me.
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00:04:37,992 --> 00:04:40,960
I know the government uses
those flu shots
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00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,162
to shut up strong Black women...
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00:04:43,264 --> 00:04:46,198
Joycelyn Elders, Lauryn Hill,
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00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,334
the first Aunt Viv.
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00:04:48,436 --> 00:04:49,602
I didn't know any of this.
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00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:50,703
Well, it's true.
142
00:04:50,805 --> 00:04:52,805
No, it's not, and don't listen to her.
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00:04:52,874 --> 00:04:55,074
This is a woman who
shoves a clove of garlic
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00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:56,775
up her butt at the first sign of a cold.
145
00:04:56,844 --> 00:04:59,945
And I haven't had a cough since 1979.
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00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:01,146
- Ruby...
- Wow.
147
00:05:01,249 --> 00:05:04,016
...this is a flu shot house, okay?
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00:05:04,118 --> 00:05:06,819
The shot is perfectly safe, Junior.
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00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:09,388
I'm a doctor. You can trust me.
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00:05:09,490 --> 00:05:16,061
I only trust three doctors...
Scholl's, Mae C. Jemison,
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00:05:16,163 --> 00:05:18,597
and that cute little
white boy in the scrubs
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00:05:18,699 --> 00:05:20,666
that played keyboards for Prince.
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00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:24,670
The next day, I walked on to that campus
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secure in my dad-hood.
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00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,573
Why is your volcano so heavy?
156
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,208
What did you fill it with? Real lava?
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00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,443
What? Volcano? That's a termite mound.
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00:05:31,512 --> 00:05:33,119
- Keep up, Dad.
- Okay, look, that's what
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00:05:33,173 --> 00:05:34,513
you get for having
your mother do your homework
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00:05:34,615 --> 00:05:35,581
for you, all right?
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00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:36,715
This does not look like a termite mound.
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00:05:36,817 --> 00:05:38,851
Oh, nice termite mound.
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00:05:38,953 --> 00:05:41,253
Hey, Dre. Did you think
about what I asked you?
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00:05:41,355 --> 00:05:43,422
I did, and, you know,
I got a lot going on, man.
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00:05:43,524 --> 00:05:45,257
I'm always on the clock, you know?
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00:05:45,359 --> 00:05:47,326
Your wife would understand. Ask her.
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00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:49,194
Hey, thanks for always
thinking about me, though.
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00:05:49,297 --> 00:05:50,563
Appreciate you.
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00:05:50,665 --> 00:05:52,398
Well, there's always next year.
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00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,668
Yeah.
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00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:57,436
Sorry you guys had to see that.
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00:05:57,505 --> 00:05:58,871
Well, you did the right thing.
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00:05:58,973 --> 00:06:00,970
That guy's got to lay off
with the volunteering.
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00:06:01,038 --> 00:06:02,743
- Mm.
- It's obvious you're a money dad.
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00:06:02,782 --> 00:06:03,696
Eh...
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00:06:03,721 --> 00:06:05,118
Yeah. You're a money dad.
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00:06:05,143 --> 00:06:06,892
Yeah, you do the things that count.
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00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:09,381
You pay for our house, our food,
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00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:10,549
our seasonal wardrobes.
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00:06:10,651 --> 00:06:12,751
Okay, I am more than just a money dad.
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00:06:12,853 --> 00:06:14,153
Mm...
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00:06:14,255 --> 00:06:15,487
Are you?
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00:06:17,224 --> 00:06:19,658
Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.
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00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,228
I suck at math,
but don't tell my daughter.
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00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:24,463
I'm her hero.
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00:06:24,565 --> 00:06:26,332
Can you get my son down from up there?
187
00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:27,933
And, uh...
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00:06:28,035 --> 00:06:30,669
take care of that street cat.
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00:06:31,706 --> 00:06:33,272
- Make it look like an accident.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
190
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:35,941
He's gonna get you, son!
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00:06:36,043 --> 00:06:38,143
- Oh, no.
- But it's all good.
192
00:06:38,245 --> 00:06:40,713
You heat the pool, get us new laptops,
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00:06:40,815 --> 00:06:42,648
you blessed us with that unlimited data.
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00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,717
We don't have unlimited data.
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00:06:44,819 --> 00:06:47,419
But we live like we do,
because you're a money dad.
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00:06:47,521 --> 00:06:50,255
And we love you for it.
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00:06:50,358 --> 00:06:52,424
Is that all I am to my kids?
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00:06:52,526 --> 00:06:55,160
Just a wallet in sneakers?
199
00:06:55,262 --> 00:06:57,632
Oh! [Bleep]!
Is that a termite? What the...
200
00:06:58,467 --> 00:06:59,904
Look, I don't think you understand
201
00:06:59,967 --> 00:07:01,342
what I'm trying to say here.
202
00:07:01,396 --> 00:07:03,810
Loose Craig doesn't need you
to get the drugs for him.
203
00:07:03,897 --> 00:07:05,727
He just needs you to
write the prescription.
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00:07:05,812 --> 00:07:07,789
He'll get the drugs himself,
and he'll pay you.
205
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:10,422
Mm-hmm. No, I understand, Pops.
206
00:07:10,508 --> 00:07:12,250
You're asking me to be a drug dealer.
207
00:07:12,328 --> 00:07:13,338
And I'm not doing it.
208
00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:15,840
Technically, the pharmacist
is the drug dealer.
209
00:07:15,942 --> 00:07:17,308
No, Pops.
210
00:07:17,377 --> 00:07:19,377
Hey. Can I ask you guys something?
211
00:07:19,446 --> 00:07:23,148
Yeah, as long as it's not for
a bulk order of statins.
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00:07:23,216 --> 00:07:26,151
The kids say I'm just a money dad.
213
00:07:26,219 --> 00:07:27,519
Why would they say that?
214
00:07:27,587 --> 00:07:29,487
- 'Cause you are.
- Because you are.
215
00:07:29,589 --> 00:07:30,622
What?
216
00:07:30,724 --> 00:07:32,223
You can't be surprised, Dre.
217
00:07:32,325 --> 00:07:34,225
You did hire somebody to teach Junior
218
00:07:34,294 --> 00:07:36,227
how to ride a bicycle.
219
00:07:36,296 --> 00:07:37,729
I don't need to hear that from you.
220
00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:39,798
You were a horrible father.
221
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,866
Sure, by 2020 standards.
222
00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:44,903
But you can't compare
fatherhood across generations.
223
00:07:44,971 --> 00:07:47,972
Bob Cousy was one of the best
basketball players of his day.
224
00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,641
Now they wouldn't even
let him hand out towels.
225
00:07:49,743 --> 00:07:51,609
I love you, Pops,
but I'm pretty sure that
226
00:07:51,711 --> 00:07:54,379
walking out on your family
was frowned upon back then, too.
227
00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:55,814
- Mm-hmm.
- And what if I wanted to be
228
00:07:55,882 --> 00:07:57,582
more involved in Dre's life?
229
00:07:57,684 --> 00:07:58,883
How would that have looked?
230
00:07:58,952 --> 00:08:01,019
A father hanging around the school?
231
00:08:01,121 --> 00:08:02,020
- What?
- Oh, no.
232
00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:03,254
They would've called the police.
233
00:08:03,356 --> 00:08:05,623
Of course, that's what they
expect of dads nowadays.
234
00:08:05,725 --> 00:08:07,158
I'm sorry you got a raw deal, son.
235
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,927
- Sorry.
- Yeah, maybe I did.
236
00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:10,028
You didn't.
237
00:08:10,097 --> 00:08:12,597
- But the kids don't know that.
- What?
238
00:08:12,699 --> 00:08:14,566
I'm jumping in.
239
00:08:14,634 --> 00:08:17,535
Dre is volunteering for
Valley Glen's Give Back Day.
240
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:19,571
You're gonna start with Give Back Day?
241
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:20,672
Mm-hmm.
242
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:22,941
Dre, that's the most
intense event of the year.
243
00:08:23,009 --> 00:08:25,376
I do lice screenings so that I don't get
244
00:08:25,479 --> 00:08:27,045
roped into Give Back Day.
245
00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:29,380
Okay, well, then maybe this is
the perfect opportunity
246
00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,182
for me to show the kids that I can be
247
00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:32,851
just as good a father as Vincent.
248
00:08:32,953 --> 00:08:34,853
I just choose not to.
249
00:08:35,956 --> 00:08:37,956
You're a good woman to put up
with my son, Rainbow.
250
00:08:38,058 --> 00:08:39,891
Thank you, Pops.
251
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,861
I saw you take the prescription pad.
252
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,086
- Thank you.
- Had to try.
253
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,044
Mm-hmm.
254
00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:50,401
When the day came,
255
00:08:50,504 --> 00:08:53,538
I was the most plugged-in
and enthusiastic volunteer
256
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,874
that Give Back Day had ever seen.
257
00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,142
- There you are, ma'am.
- Thank you.
258
00:08:57,210 --> 00:08:58,376
Oh, hey, Vincent.
259
00:08:58,478 --> 00:08:59,711
Hey, hey, hey.
260
00:08:59,813 --> 00:09:01,579
I don't want to brag man, but... ha...
261
00:09:01,648 --> 00:09:03,281
I've got the longest line out here.
262
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:05,016
You know, I'm volunteering so hard,
263
00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:07,185
Valley Glen's gonna be
able to send these kids
264
00:09:07,287 --> 00:09:08,653
on a field trip to the moon.
265
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:11,022
You are the only one who
brought ribs to a bake sale.
266
00:09:11,124 --> 00:09:12,624
Well, you know.
267
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,125
- Thanks for doing this, man.
- Mm-hmm.
268
00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:16,794
Look, I know you're
super busy, so don't worry.
269
00:09:16,863 --> 00:09:18,163
You'll be able to get out of here soon.
270
00:09:18,231 --> 00:09:20,398
No. I don't need to get out of here.
271
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:23,768
I'm Andre Johnson,
present volunteer dad.
272
00:09:23,837 --> 00:09:26,371
Hey, anything you need, I'm your guy.
273
00:09:26,439 --> 00:09:27,505
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
274
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:28,907
- Thank you.
- There you are. Enjoy.
275
00:09:28,932 --> 00:09:30,842
Because what we
really need is for someone
276
00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:32,810
to man the dunk tank.
277
00:09:32,913 --> 00:09:34,946
It's very hard to find
parents who are willing
278
00:09:35,015 --> 00:09:37,182
to insult members of our community.
279
00:09:39,286 --> 00:09:41,686
Ha! A miss! Another mistake!
280
00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:42,987
Just like you!
281
00:09:44,858 --> 00:09:46,758
Oh! Oh, hey, wait a minute, lady.
282
00:09:46,783 --> 00:09:47,926
Where's your husband at?
283
00:09:47,951 --> 00:09:49,460
Oh, wait. Like you would know.
284
00:09:49,563 --> 00:09:51,696
Try Ms. Johnson's house.
285
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,698
Oh, let's hope your daddy
has enough money
286
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,667
to bribe your way into SC.
287
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,135
Who's your daddy?
288
00:09:57,204 --> 00:09:58,770
Your mama don't even know
who your daddy is.
289
00:09:58,872 --> 00:10:00,038
Wow, Dad.
290
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,072
This is amazing.
291
00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:02,473
- Mm-hmm.
- I knew you could talk trash,
292
00:10:02,576 --> 00:10:03,775
- but this is next level.
- Mm-hmm.
293
00:10:03,843 --> 00:10:05,710
I finally feel like I learned
something from you.
294
00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:07,212
Wow.
295
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,546
You said you learned
all you could from me
296
00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:09,847
by the age of 7.
297
00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:11,683
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Diane.
298
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:12,884
- Hey, son.
- Yeah?
299
00:10:12,986 --> 00:10:13,918
You want to take a whack at it?
300
00:10:13,987 --> 00:10:15,086
See if you can dunk your old man?
301
00:10:15,188 --> 00:10:17,055
Mm, normally, I would
love throwing stuff
302
00:10:17,123 --> 00:10:19,290
at you, Dad,
but I've got to meet Savannah.
303
00:10:19,359 --> 00:10:21,526
Oh. Savannah's back in the picture?
304
00:10:21,628 --> 00:10:22,727
Yeah. Kind of.
305
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,329
We don't know what we are yet.
306
00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:25,663
Why don't you take her
to the funnel cake booth
307
00:10:25,765 --> 00:10:28,032
and tell her the only
thing sweeter is her?
308
00:10:28,134 --> 00:10:29,534
Ooh. I like that.
309
00:10:29,636 --> 00:10:30,902
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks, Dad.
310
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,937
I never knew I could
talk to you about girls.
311
00:10:33,006 --> 00:10:34,799
I mean, sports, food,
312
00:10:34,824 --> 00:10:37,275
uh, putting your hand down
the garbage disposal, sure,
313
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:39,010
but this is a good look on you.
314
00:10:39,079 --> 00:10:40,878
Oh. Thank you, son.
315
00:10:40,947 --> 00:10:43,314
Sitting up on my dunk tank throne,
316
00:10:43,416 --> 00:10:45,907
I realized the high of helping my kids
317
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,353
was something money couldn't buy.
318
00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:49,387
Ooh!
319
00:10:49,489 --> 00:10:51,439
Look who we got here!
320
00:10:51,493 --> 00:10:53,157
I'm only gonna need one.
321
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:54,392
Biggsy.
322
00:10:54,461 --> 00:10:57,996
You may be principal,
but here, you're my...
323
00:11:02,902 --> 00:11:05,803
I played Division 1 softball at Arizona.
324
00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:07,639
Better recognize.
325
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:16,914
Did you get your flu shot?
326
00:11:17,017 --> 00:11:19,851
Yeah. Here's the thing.
327
00:11:19,953 --> 00:11:21,552
I started looking into some of the stuff
328
00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:24,289
Grandma's talking about,
and it seems like
329
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:26,090
the jury is still out on the flu shot.
330
00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:27,992
For the love of God!
331
00:11:28,094 --> 00:11:30,895
Junior, I would have
expected this from Jack,
332
00:11:30,964 --> 00:11:32,463
but not from you.
333
00:11:32,565 --> 00:11:34,565
If the point's to not get sick,
334
00:11:34,668 --> 00:11:36,534
then why take a shot
that gives you the flu?
335
00:11:36,636 --> 00:11:38,803
It doesn't give you the flu.
336
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,174
Okay, it gives you...
337
00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:41,501
- ...a little bit of the flu, Junior...
- Mm-hmm.
338
00:11:41,581 --> 00:11:44,058
...but that is because
that's the way vaccines work.
339
00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:46,260
See, but there's still
so much we don't know.
340
00:11:46,299 --> 00:11:47,712
- What?
- Yesterday, I saw a video
341
00:11:47,814 --> 00:11:50,114
on the Internet of this girl
who got the flu shot,
342
00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:53,284
and afterwards,
she could only walk backward.
343
00:11:53,386 --> 00:11:57,255
And I saw a video of a girl
who swallowed a balloon
344
00:11:57,324 --> 00:12:01,259
filled with baby powder
so she would lose weight.
345
00:12:01,361 --> 00:12:02,660
- What?
- That's why
346
00:12:02,762 --> 00:12:06,698
we don't go on the Internet
for medical advice.
347
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,866
Mom, I'm sorry.
348
00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:10,201
I want to believe.
349
00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:11,369
Do you?
350
00:12:11,471 --> 00:12:13,738
Do you, Junior?
351
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,374
Do you want to believe?
352
00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:19,977
I don't.
353
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,180
I don't. Yeah.
354
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:24,549
Well, you are bringing
a virus into this house
355
00:12:24,651 --> 00:12:26,451
that is worse than the flu!
356
00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:29,721
The virus of medical skepticism!
357
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:32,357
By the end of the day,
358
00:12:32,425 --> 00:12:35,093
I had proven to everyone
that I wasn't just a money dad.
359
00:12:35,195 --> 00:12:38,403
I could work and be involved
at my kids' school.
360
00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:40,278
Above and beyond today, Big Dre.
361
00:12:40,308 --> 00:12:41,276
Mm.
362
00:12:41,301 --> 00:12:43,534
That's the most money
the dunk tank has ever made.
363
00:12:43,636 --> 00:12:45,303
People really don't like you.
364
00:12:45,372 --> 00:12:47,739
Oh, well, you know, the key is to find
365
00:12:47,807 --> 00:12:49,674
what the thrower is most insecure about
366
00:12:49,776 --> 00:12:51,843
and mock it mercilessly.
367
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,144
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
368
00:12:53,213 --> 00:12:55,146
I used your funnel cake line
on Savannah,
369
00:12:55,215 --> 00:12:57,448
and now she wants to meet
at the top of the Ferris wheel.
370
00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:59,917
I don't know how I'm gonna
get up there, but still, thanks.
371
00:13:00,019 --> 00:13:01,386
And I used some of your insults
372
00:13:01,454 --> 00:13:03,054
to make an 11th-grader cry.
373
00:13:03,156 --> 00:13:05,356
I think she might jump me,
but it was amazing.
374
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,026
You see those smiles?
375
00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:11,596
That's why we do it, Dre.
376
00:13:11,698 --> 00:13:13,164
I want to do more of that.
377
00:13:13,266 --> 00:13:15,566
Hey, I'm all in.
378
00:13:15,668 --> 00:13:16,868
Well, if you like,
379
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,836
there are plenty more
opportunities to volunteer.
380
00:13:18,938 --> 00:13:21,539
We need lunch help on
Tuesdays and Thursdays,
381
00:13:21,641 --> 00:13:23,508
the D&D club needs an advisor,
382
00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:25,109
and we're always looking
for people to help out
383
00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:26,744
in the community garden
on Monday mornings.
384
00:13:26,846 --> 00:13:27,945
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
385
00:13:28,047 --> 00:13:29,714
How am I supposed to do
all that when I have work?
386
00:13:29,816 --> 00:13:31,816
Well, that's the choice, man.
387
00:13:31,918 --> 00:13:33,317
Kind of hard to do both.
388
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:36,020
So, while I'm at work like a dope,
389
00:13:36,122 --> 00:13:38,356
you get to spend time with
your number-one people?
390
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:41,659
Quality time, getting
to know your kids better?
391
00:13:41,761 --> 00:13:44,262
Ah, that's the joy of
being a stay-at-home dad.
392
00:13:44,364 --> 00:13:46,597
Oh, man. I want that joy.
393
00:13:46,699 --> 00:13:47,899
You did what you could.
394
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,601
And maybe in another six months,
you can do it again.
395
00:13:50,703 --> 00:13:51,869
I...
396
00:13:51,971 --> 00:13:53,571
I wasn't having it all.
397
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:57,175
I was just getting a reminder
of what I was missing out on.
398
00:13:57,277 --> 00:13:59,510
Uh, by the way, you might
want to get an Uber.
399
00:13:59,612 --> 00:14:02,280
There's an angry mob
waiting by your car.
400
00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:04,482
Okay.
401
00:14:04,584 --> 00:14:06,449
Ooh.
402
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:10,722
All right, Loose Craig
is willing to let go
403
00:14:10,792 --> 00:14:12,358
- of the prescription pad thing.
- Mm.
404
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:14,900
But do you have a way to get bulk gauze?
405
00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:15,986
No!
406
00:14:17,017 --> 00:14:19,158
Actually, I can help you with that.
407
00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,204
- What?
- Yes.
408
00:14:20,245 --> 00:14:21,311
- Hey.
- Hey.
409
00:14:21,336 --> 00:14:22,268
Where have you been?
410
00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:23,429
You were supposed to be home hours ago.
411
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:24,937
And why are you so ashy?
412
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,333
Ooh, boy, you smell like
a barbecue joint
413
00:14:27,435 --> 00:14:29,669
before it opens... bleach and hickory.
414
00:14:29,721 --> 00:14:31,782
Okay, okay. Everybody relax, all right?
415
00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:33,464
I volunteered for the dunk tank,
416
00:14:33,533 --> 00:14:36,108
and no one has ever raised more money.
417
00:14:36,177 --> 00:14:39,178
Then why do you look as happy
as a Cleveland Browns fan?
418
00:14:39,247 --> 00:14:41,714
Because I liked helping at school today,
419
00:14:41,783 --> 00:14:44,526
and I think the kids
liked having me there, too
420
00:14:44,612 --> 00:14:47,586
I want ways of doing this more.
421
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:49,321
You know, but I work.
422
00:14:49,424 --> 00:14:51,257
You know, it's unfair
that I can't do everything.
423
00:14:51,359 --> 00:14:56,028
You are describing the classic
working mom's dilemma.
424
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,030
What? No, no. This isn't the same, Bow.
425
00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,598
Because of Vincent.
426
00:14:59,701 --> 00:15:01,233
You know, whenever I'm around him,
427
00:15:01,302 --> 00:15:02,668
I'm made to feel less of a father
428
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:04,770
because I can't be there
for my children like he can.
429
00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:06,238
- Mm.
- But he has to understand...
430
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:07,406
I work.
431
00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:09,608
It's how we live, okay?
432
00:15:09,677 --> 00:15:11,377
It's a part of who I am.
433
00:15:11,479 --> 00:15:12,586
And then they start to treat you
434
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:14,480
like you love your job more than
you love your kids.
435
00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:17,883
Oh, don't try to fix it, Bow.
Just listen.
436
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:19,518
Today, I felt really good
437
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:22,088
about being a part of their world.
438
00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:24,657
I guess it's true what they say...
439
00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:26,726
dads can't have it all.
440
00:15:26,828 --> 00:15:29,662
That's what they say?
441
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:31,897
About dads?
442
00:15:31,966 --> 00:15:33,032
Yeah.
443
00:15:33,134 --> 00:15:34,867
Uh...
444
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:40,172
I think it's best I remove
myself from this situation.
445
00:15:42,643 --> 00:15:44,009
What?
446
00:15:46,814 --> 00:15:49,648
Look, son...
447
00:15:49,717 --> 00:15:51,611
the fact that you're eaten up about
448
00:15:51,682 --> 00:15:53,719
the little bit that you don't do
449
00:15:53,788 --> 00:15:56,722
shows me that your heart's
in the right place.
450
00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:59,291
Every time I see all the good
stuff you do for your kids,
451
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,661
it makes me feel a little bit
worse about how I raised you.
452
00:16:02,764 --> 00:16:03,729
Really?
453
00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:04,864
Nah, I don't look back like that,
454
00:16:04,932 --> 00:16:05,998
but you're doing a great job.
455
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,266
You need to give yourself a break.
456
00:16:07,368 --> 00:16:08,367
Yeah.
457
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,769
Thanks, Pops.
458
00:16:09,871 --> 00:16:12,204
Can you get my bottle back now, please?
459
00:16:12,306 --> 00:16:13,405
That's Coolio's new rum.
460
00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:15,307
It's hella expensive.
461
00:16:20,014 --> 00:16:21,981
Ah, there's my number-one girl.
462
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,582
Oh, you gotta stop saying that.
463
00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:25,206
- Facts don't lie.
- Oh, God.
464
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,566
- How was your day?
- It was not a great day.
465
00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,277
I got into a huge argument
466
00:16:29,332 --> 00:16:32,081
with one of the other doctors
about climate change.
467
00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:34,173
- He doesn't believe in it?
- No!
468
00:16:34,212 --> 00:16:35,837
He said, "If global warming
is happening,
469
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:38,149
then why is there snow
at my place in Deer Valley?"
470
00:16:38,201 --> 00:16:40,067
Science says it is happening.
471
00:16:40,169 --> 00:16:42,036
How can he go against science?
472
00:16:42,105 --> 00:16:46,374
It's interesting that you say
that, Junior, because...
473
00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:51,445
...I pulled a couple of articles
from some medical journals
474
00:16:51,547 --> 00:16:54,615
about the efficacy of the flu shot.
475
00:16:54,684 --> 00:16:55,816
Yeah, but this is different...
476
00:16:55,918 --> 00:17:00,287
Okay, listen to me, little boy.
477
00:17:00,356 --> 00:17:02,123
You cannot pick and choose.
478
00:17:02,225 --> 00:17:03,791
You cannot believe in climate change
479
00:17:03,893 --> 00:17:05,292
and not the flu shot.
480
00:17:05,395 --> 00:17:08,562
Science has given us indoor plumbing,
481
00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:11,966
the moon landing, leave-in conditioner.
482
00:17:12,068 --> 00:17:16,604
The simple fact is that science works.
483
00:17:16,706 --> 00:17:19,273
And you getting the flu shot
484
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:21,876
is gonna help to keep everyone safe.
485
00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:24,111
Fine. You got me.
486
00:17:24,213 --> 00:17:26,047
I'll get the flu shot.
487
00:17:26,149 --> 00:17:27,682
But I want to go to Shakey's after.
488
00:17:27,784 --> 00:17:29,917
Oh, yeah. We can get pizza.
489
00:17:29,986 --> 00:17:32,280
- I said Shakey's.
- Yeah. Pizza.
490
00:17:32,311 --> 00:17:34,989
Well, well, well, well.
491
00:17:36,993 --> 00:17:39,093
- Science Witch.
- Huh?
492
00:17:39,195 --> 00:17:42,963
You may have tricked this sheep,
but you'll never get me.
493
00:17:43,066 --> 00:17:44,231
Hmm.
494
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:47,054
Listen, Ruby, young children
495
00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:50,344
are some of the most vulnerable
to the flu.
496
00:17:50,407 --> 00:17:52,840
- Mm?
- So, you're not gonna be able
497
00:17:52,909 --> 00:17:56,210
to take care of Devante
if you don't get the flu shot.
498
00:17:56,312 --> 00:17:58,479
But he's my favorite grandbaby.
499
00:17:58,581 --> 00:17:59,680
Huh.
500
00:17:59,782 --> 00:18:02,416
I already knew,
but it still hurts to hear.
501
00:18:02,518 --> 00:18:05,753
Just can't take a chance
with my baby's health.
502
00:18:05,822 --> 00:18:08,222
All right, I'll get the flu shot.
503
00:18:08,324 --> 00:18:10,491
And I got some terms, Missy.
504
00:18:10,593 --> 00:18:11,959
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
505
00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:14,929
I want you to administer the shot,
506
00:18:14,997 --> 00:18:17,698
but I want a white male
doctor to order it.
507
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,999
What?
508
00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,836
That way, I know I'll definitely
be getting the good stuff.
509
00:18:21,938 --> 00:18:23,804
There's no s-s...
510
00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,941
Yeah, you know what?
511
00:18:27,043 --> 00:18:28,743
Yes.
512
00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:32,659
I will get you the good stuff.
513
00:18:32,684 --> 00:18:33,725
- All right.
- Yeah.
514
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,417
- And hey, hey.
- Yes?
515
00:18:36,486 --> 00:18:38,753
I also want to go to Shakey's.
516
00:18:42,191 --> 00:18:45,826
I think we've established
I'm unguardable as a dad,
517
00:18:45,928 --> 00:18:49,363
but that doesn't mean I can't
find ways to improve my game.
518
00:18:49,465 --> 00:18:51,298
Hey, Vincent. Got a second?
519
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,900
Oh, Dre.
520
00:18:53,002 --> 00:18:55,169
Here to help keep the school
garden nice and tight?
521
00:18:55,271 --> 00:18:57,004
If you see any slugs,
522
00:18:57,106 --> 00:18:59,073
just put them in the bucket
so they can be re-homed.
523
00:18:59,142 --> 00:19:00,941
I'm not gonna do that.
524
00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:02,243
Besides, I can't stay, man.
525
00:19:02,345 --> 00:19:03,310
I, uh...
526
00:19:03,412 --> 00:19:05,980
I just came to apologize for, uh,
527
00:19:06,082 --> 00:19:08,916
talking trash about you
being a stay-at-home dad.
528
00:19:09,018 --> 00:19:10,451
What? Y-You didn't do that.
529
00:19:10,553 --> 00:19:12,486
Well, not to your face.
530
00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:14,989
But to my wife, my co-workers,
531
00:19:15,091 --> 00:19:16,824
the staff at the Coffee Commissary.
532
00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:20,694
Look, man, what you said
about prioritizing your kids,
533
00:19:20,797 --> 00:19:22,596
it really got under my skin.
534
00:19:22,698 --> 00:19:24,265
Well, choosing not to work
535
00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:26,834
isn't all sweatpants
and watching "The View."
536
00:19:26,936 --> 00:19:28,803
It's hard being a stay-at-home dad
537
00:19:28,905 --> 00:19:31,572
in a world that only
understands a stay-at-home mom.
538
00:19:31,674 --> 00:19:33,073
- Dad?
- Hmm?
539
00:19:33,176 --> 00:19:34,809
Why are you here during a workday?
540
00:19:34,911 --> 00:19:36,443
- Hey...
- Wait, hold on, wait.
541
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:37,711
Is Grandma okay?
542
00:19:37,814 --> 00:19:39,680
D... Did she catfish
another congressman?
543
00:19:39,782 --> 00:19:41,215
She's fine, okay?
544
00:19:41,317 --> 00:19:43,350
I just came to talk to Vincent
for a second, you know?
545
00:19:43,452 --> 00:19:45,925
But I got to get back to work.
546
00:19:46,027 --> 00:19:48,328
Oh. Of course.
547
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,029
We understand.
548
00:19:50,132 --> 00:19:52,265
You know, I could use your help
549
00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:54,299
sifting through this compost.
550
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,101
Someone threw rice in there.
551
00:19:56,203 --> 00:19:59,200
I always said my family comes first,
552
00:19:59,262 --> 00:20:00,552
and in that moment,
553
00:20:00,607 --> 00:20:02,969
it was nice to make that
all the way true.
554
00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:04,999
Hey, guys?
555
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:06,867
Let's do some dirt.
556
00:20:06,891 --> 00:20:08,145
- I got you.
- Yeah.
557
00:20:08,205 --> 00:20:10,387
Dads may not be able to have it all,
558
00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:12,752
but this one could
have a little bit more.
559
00:20:12,807 --> 00:20:14,556
Big-ass avocados.
560
00:20:16,698 --> 00:20:19,815
It is so odd for
Dre to be late for work.
561
00:20:19,861 --> 00:20:23,004
Oh. Charlie, is... is today
some sort of Black holiday
562
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,395
we don't know about?
563
00:20:25,052 --> 00:20:27,055
Yes.
564
00:20:27,089 --> 00:20:29,567
I... I forgot.
565
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,194
Today is Black...
566
00:20:32,226 --> 00:20:34,062
Tuesday.
567
00:20:34,096 --> 00:20:36,298
It's Wednesday.
568
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,505
Hey, that's just...
that's just how we do.
569
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,224
- Okey doke.
- No, no. You stay.
570
00:20:42,295 --> 00:20:44,396
It's for Black people only.
571
00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:45,654
Okay.
572
00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:50,708
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com