1
00:00:00,674 --> 00:00:03,297
Americans are consumers.
2
00:00:03,331 --> 00:00:06,137
We want the best, the
baddest, and the biggest...
3
00:00:06,259 --> 00:00:08,661
Unless, of course,
the baddest is the smallest.
4
00:00:08,697 --> 00:00:12,135
Then you want that, until
the baddest gets bigger again.
5
00:00:12,171 --> 00:00:13,923
We're all consumers,
6
00:00:13,959 --> 00:00:15,745
but at the risk
of stereotyping us...
7
00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:18,613
♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪
Black folks really get it in.
8
00:00:18,648 --> 00:00:20,671
We just do. But think about it...
9
00:00:20,706 --> 00:00:23,167
♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪
if you didn't get a paycheck for 400 years
10
00:00:23,202 --> 00:00:25,056
♪ It all falls down ♪
When you did finally get one,
11
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,440
you might want to spend it.
12
00:00:26,475 --> 00:00:27,755
♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪
of course, nowadays,
13
00:00:27,791 --> 00:00:30,859
that kind of attitude
can get you in trouble.
14
00:00:30,894 --> 00:00:33,255
♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪
that's the thing about money.
15
00:00:33,290 --> 00:00:35,110
Everybody wants to have it,
16
00:00:35,145 --> 00:00:37,438
but nobody wants
to talk about it...
17
00:00:37,473 --> 00:00:39,260
♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪
Which can lead to problems.
18
00:00:39,295 --> 00:00:41,115
♪ It all falls down ♪
We owe what?!
19
00:00:41,151 --> 00:00:43,948
Let me see that.
20
00:00:45,536 --> 00:00:47,288
Mm, hold on.
21
00:00:48,701 --> 00:00:49,312
Wha...
22
00:00:51,305 --> 00:00:53,264
Holy Slick Rick!
23
00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:58,080
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
24
00:00:58,371 --> 00:01:01,007
How did we spend this
much on our credit cards?
25
00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:02,648
It was a big month, Bow.
26
00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:05,539
We took the kids to Disneyland,
we replaced the water heater,
27
00:01:05,573 --> 00:01:08,751
oh, and I got these
fly new reading glasses.
28
00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:11,641
Dre, come on, now we have
the kids' tuition coming up.
29
00:01:11,675 --> 00:01:13,215
And isn't this the property-tax bill?
30
00:01:13,249 --> 00:01:14,178
Don't worry about that.
31
00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:17,198
I have an 819 FICO score.
32
00:01:17,231 --> 00:01:18,675
I think we're gonna be okay.
33
00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:20,249
I don't understand
where all the money goes.
34
00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:21,759
Me neither.
35
00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:24,264
Look what I had overnighted from Japan.
36
00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:26,255
That is ostrich.
37
00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:28,215
First of all, those are beautiful.
38
00:01:28,249 --> 00:01:29,499
Thank you.
39
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:31,373
Secondly, do you ever wonder
if we're living too large?
40
00:01:33,018 --> 00:01:33,977
We're broke.
41
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:35,488
Wait, what?
42
00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:37,023
We just heard mom say
we're living too large.
43
00:01:37,059 --> 00:01:38,726
I knew this was too much house.
44
00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:39,995
What are we gonna do?
45
00:01:40,031 --> 00:01:41,397
I'm two years away from college,
46
00:01:41,433 --> 00:01:45,070
so this is more of a "you"
problem than a "we" problem.
47
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,174
Well, I've got a "disaster
preparedness" folder.
48
00:01:47,209 --> 00:01:48,477
Of course you do.
49
00:01:48,512 --> 00:01:51,515
Let's see, "earthquakes,"
"super volcano," "peak oil."
50
00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:52,550
Ooh!
51
00:01:52,586 --> 00:01:54,620
Congratulations, Junior.
52
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,392
If you're watching this, you've
survived the zombie apocalypse.
53
00:01:57,428 --> 00:02:00,698
Oh. Sorry. Wrong video.
54
00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:01,666
Dude.
55
00:02:01,703 --> 00:02:04,204
Oh, here it is. "Financial ruin."
56
00:02:04,239 --> 00:02:07,277
I'm supposed to start
day-trading... I think.
57
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:09,982
For some reason, I wrote
this plan in Dothraki.
58
00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:12,085
Anha dothrak chek asshekh.
59
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,821
Can we live with you in the dorm?
60
00:02:13,856 --> 00:02:15,527
Just you two, right?
61
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:20,214
We earn a good living, Bow.
62
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,695
We're doing fine, okay?
63
00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:23,008
And this... this property-tax thing...
64
00:02:23,044 --> 00:02:24,052
don't even worry about that.
65
00:02:24,088 --> 00:02:26,611
My guy, James Brown, is all over it.
66
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,742
I still can't believe our
accountant is named James Brown.
67
00:02:29,778 --> 00:02:32,638
He is the hardest-working
man in accounting.
68
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,153
And please,
69
00:02:34,189 --> 00:02:38,833
do not project your weird
relationship with money onto me.
70
00:02:38,869 --> 00:02:40,080
What weird relationship?
71
00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:41,998
Mommy, what's this?
72
00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:43,110
That's money.
73
00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:45,028
It's an artificial masculine construct
74
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:47,419
that fosters hostility and war
75
00:02:47,455 --> 00:02:50,180
and builds a wall between you and love.
76
00:02:50,215 --> 00:02:53,109
Now, eat your mung beans.
77
00:02:53,145 --> 00:02:54,961
Are you sweating?
78
00:02:54,997 --> 00:02:56,073
Yes, Dre, I'm sweating
79
00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,823
because I don't like talking about money.
80
00:02:57,858 --> 00:03:00,448
We made a deal... you
would be the money guy,
81
00:03:00,485 --> 00:03:01,863
and I was gonna be the kid wrangler.
82
00:03:01,899 --> 00:03:03,311
- Yeah.
- Do you want to be the kid wrangler?
83
00:03:03,347 --> 00:03:05,062
'Cause there's an e-blast
that needs to go out
84
00:03:05,098 --> 00:03:06,139
- about wheat allergies.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
85
00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:08,092
And we still haven't
figured out summer camp.
86
00:03:08,128 --> 00:03:09,372
Unh-unh!
Unh-unh!
87
00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:11,392
And the twins' class
is looking for a parent
88
00:03:11,427 --> 00:03:13,075
to go on a field trip
to the solid-waste plant.
89
00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:16,038
Enough! Enough, already! Okay, Bow?
90
00:03:16,075 --> 00:03:19,304
- Damn it, Bow, I'm all over
this money thing, okay?- Okay.
91
00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:22,504
I know every cent coming
in and every cent going out.
92
00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:24,489
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, son, uh, I need to hold a "G."
93
00:03:24,525 --> 00:03:25,870
I got a tip on a pony,
94
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,620
and I'm a little light
on walking-around money.
95
00:03:27,657 --> 00:03:28,698
Oh, sure. No problem, Pops.
96
00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:29,574
- Just a grand?
- Just a grand.
97
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:30,685
"Just a grand."
98
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,166
- There you go, right there.
- My man.
99
00:03:32,202 --> 00:03:34,456
Okay, you got it.
100
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,630
Okay, um...
101
00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:43,446
Let's just, uh, put that,
uh, under, uh, "going out."
102
00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:46,106
So, you really think
day-trading is going to work?
103
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,620
Because your zombie plan was a mess.
104
00:03:47,655 --> 00:03:50,180
You thought after the apocalypse
you'd still have Internet.
105
00:03:50,215 --> 00:03:51,459
Or your eyeballs.
106
00:03:51,494 --> 00:03:52,704
What you kids doing?
107
00:03:52,741 --> 00:03:54,220
I'm gonna start day-trading.
108
00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:56,577
Day-trading? That ain't
nothing but gambling.
109
00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:57,688
Proud of you, boy.
110
00:03:57,723 --> 00:03:58,832
Just make sure you know what you're doing.
111
00:03:58,868 --> 00:03:59,877
He doesn't.
112
00:03:59,946 --> 00:04:01,560
Just do like I do at the track...
113
00:04:01,595 --> 00:04:04,388
find an inside edge.
114
00:04:04,424 --> 00:04:07,351
My insider at the track is
a hot-dog guy named Luis.
115
00:04:07,386 --> 00:04:09,910
He knows the deal on every
race, every horse, every jockey,
116
00:04:09,946 --> 00:04:12,334
who's up, who's down,
who's out. He's the best.
117
00:04:12,371 --> 00:04:14,926
Well, if he knows so much, why
is he still the hot-dog guy?
118
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,765
You make a strong point, little girl.
119
00:04:19,878 --> 00:04:21,459
I need to call James Brown.
120
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,175
And then my grandma looked up at me...
121
00:04:24,356 --> 00:04:25,432
And with her last breath,
122
00:04:25,468 --> 00:04:26,914
she said something I will never forget...
123
00:04:26,948 --> 00:04:28,361
Lunch!
124
00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:29,842
- Oh, thank God. That was close.
- Yes.
125
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,054
Now, whose turn is it to pay?
126
00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:32,873
I got it. Don't worry about it. I got it.
127
00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:34,725
Let me see something.
128
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,586
My God, what are you,
a high-end prostitute?
129
00:04:37,623 --> 00:04:39,742
Yeah. What are you doing walking
around with all that cash?
130
00:04:39,777 --> 00:04:40,818
Keep the change.
131
00:04:40,855 --> 00:04:42,704
Uh, to pay for stuff.
132
00:04:42,739 --> 00:04:43,849
Like your kid's ransom?
133
00:04:43,885 --> 00:04:45,465
Seems a little irresponsible, driggity.
134
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:47,889
But my knot makes me feel more ballin'.
135
00:04:47,925 --> 00:04:48,899
It is quite ballin', boss.
136
00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:50,752
Oh. Oh, yeah.
137
00:04:50,787 --> 00:04:52,132
Do you think Jay Z walks around
138
00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:53,849
with a big old wad of cash in his pocket?
139
00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:54,657
Absolutely.
140
00:04:54,692 --> 00:04:56,005
He does not.
141
00:04:56,039 --> 00:04:58,597
You really need to be putting
your money in the bank, Dre.
142
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,674
I have money in the bank.
143
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:01,122
Oh, good. And stocks, right?
144
00:05:01,158 --> 00:05:03,108
And some stocks, uh-huh.
145
00:05:03,145 --> 00:05:04,893
- Any investment properties?
- Well...
146
00:05:04,928 --> 00:05:06,543
- Why is your voice getting higher?
- Is it?
147
00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:10,111
Look, it's all about optimal
asset allocation... basic stuff.
148
00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:13,882
10% emerging markets, 20%
hedge funds, 30% private equity.
149
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:14,826
Mm-hmm.
150
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,441
What does your money guy tell you
151
00:05:16,478 --> 00:05:17,856
about charitable donations, Dre?
152
00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,314
- Let's talk charitable donations.
- Mm-hmm.
153
00:05:20,349 --> 00:05:22,704
Go to taco bell 15
minutes before they close.
154
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,229
They have to clean that place
out of the hard-shell items.
155
00:05:25,265 --> 00:05:26,576
That's the law.
156
00:05:26,611 --> 00:05:28,866
So, you got tacos, you got
tostadas, you got taquitos,
157
00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:31,357
nachos, you've got nacho supreme.
158
00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:32,771
My favorite. Mm-hmm.
159
00:05:32,807 --> 00:05:36,038
Point is, all that... well,
that's gonna offset your cars.
160
00:05:36,072 --> 00:05:37,620
Um...
161
00:05:37,655 --> 00:05:39,506
Dre, you're playing in the big leagues now.
162
00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:40,784
So, just to be safe,
163
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:43,108
why not sit down and chat
with my money guy?
164
00:05:43,144 --> 00:05:44,084
He's amazing.
165
00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:45,464
Uh, in the meantime,
166
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:47,586
do you mind if I have another
look at that wad of cash?
167
00:05:47,622 --> 00:05:48,798
It's been a while
168
00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:50,919
since I've actually held
real currency in my hand.
169
00:05:50,955 --> 00:05:51,728
Hold one.
170
00:05:51,763 --> 00:05:53,378
Oh.
171
00:05:53,413 --> 00:05:54,723
Funny.
172
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,781
This is made from the exact
same material as a cocaine straw.
173
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:02,737
Even though I still felt pretty good
174
00:06:02,773 --> 00:06:04,559
about where I was financially,
175
00:06:04,594 --> 00:06:07,528
I decided it couldn't hurt
to see Stevens' guy.
176
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:09,619
Well, from the looks
of this, I have to say,
177
00:06:09,655 --> 00:06:11,508
you guys are doing great.
178
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,521
Oh, thank God!
179
00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,006
- I told you, I got this.
- Thank God.
180
00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,063
You're two professionals,
earning good salaries,
181
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,616
homeowners with great credit.
182
00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:19,978
819!
183
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,068
I pay my bills!
184
00:06:22,105 --> 00:06:23,182
Okay, don't do the barking.
185
00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:24,565
- Okay.
- And if you keep this up,
186
00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,793
you will be in great shape
if you decide to have kids.
187
00:06:29,190 --> 00:06:30,537
Uh...
188
00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:34,518
Yeah, uh, w-we... we... we
already have four children.
189
00:06:34,554 --> 00:06:36,138
Oh. Uh-huh.
190
00:06:37,388 --> 00:06:38,263
You're screwed.
191
00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:39,815
- What?
- Uh...
192
00:06:39,851 --> 00:06:41,097
I suggest the two of you sit down
193
00:06:41,132 --> 00:06:43,378
and have a very serious
discussion about money.
194
00:06:43,413 --> 00:06:45,249
Oh, oh, geez.
195
00:06:45,286 --> 00:06:46,679
8-8-819.
196
00:06:50,196 --> 00:06:51,334
Oh God!
197
00:06:51,456 --> 00:06:53,565
How did James Brown not see this coming?
198
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,222
Papa got a brand-new
order of onion rings!
199
00:06:56,259 --> 00:06:58,029
Set them right there on
that fax machine, baby.
200
00:06:58,064 --> 00:07:00,040
Stop talking about James Brown.
201
00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:02,799
You said you had this
handled, and then we find out
202
00:07:02,837 --> 00:07:04,538
we can't send all four
of our kids to college!
203
00:07:04,573 --> 00:07:06,174
Jack was never going to college.
204
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,571
I know that,
205
00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:10,127
but we're supposed to
be able to afford
206
00:07:10,162 --> 00:07:11,933
to send him to the college
that he can't get into.
207
00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,228
You blew it, Dre.
208
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:14,455
Sounds like money trouble.
209
00:07:14,492 --> 00:07:16,909
And no wonder, the way you two spend.
210
00:07:16,945 --> 00:07:18,068
The latest jeans,
211
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,998
mail-order high-top
sneaker-boot tennis shoes.
212
00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:22,635
When I was coming up,
all you needed was a pair
213
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,032
of black-leather pants and a denim vest.
214
00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,054
Didn't even need a shirt.
215
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,518
That's why I moved to L.A.
216
00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:28,189
♪
217
00:07:28,226 --> 00:07:30,371
You moved to L.A. because
of that hit-and-run.
218
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,631
This is not about me.
219
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,676
You two are the ones trying
to keep up with the Joneses.
220
00:07:33,712 --> 00:07:36,027
A damn sub-zero fridge.
221
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,629
How cold does stuff really need to be?
222
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,129
I love my refrigerator.
223
00:07:39,164 --> 00:07:41,889
♪
224
00:07:41,925 --> 00:07:44,411
Pops, we work hard for everything we have.
225
00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,217
Yes, and you're working hard to spend it
226
00:07:46,254 --> 00:07:49,114
with this crazy-big house
with a guesthouse in the back.
227
00:07:49,151 --> 00:07:51,329
You really need to be
renting that damn thing out.
228
00:07:51,365 --> 00:07:52,965
You live in that guesthouse!
229
00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:54,090
I'm just sayin'.
230
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,475
It's not financially responsible.
231
00:07:56,512 --> 00:07:58,860
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, please.
232
00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:01,723
Dre, maybe we should hire
that financial planner.
233
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,735
I don't want to lose my fridge.
234
00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:06,120
- No! I don't trust him.
- What?
235
00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:08,744
He wasn't even impressed
with my monster credit score!
236
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:12,493
- Oh, my God. - And it is stupid to
pay someone to save us money!
237
00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:13,515
I got this, Bow.
238
00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,322
The only thing that you got, Dre,
239
00:08:15,357 --> 00:08:17,400
is expensive sneakers and James Brown.
240
00:08:17,436 --> 00:08:18,695
You know what?
241
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:22,239
From now on, we are gonna
handle this money thing together.
242
00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:23,228
Okay.
243
00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:25,033
And the kid thing, too.
244
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,193
What?
245
00:08:26,229 --> 00:08:27,658
Yeah, that's right, buddy.
246
00:08:27,694 --> 00:08:31,236
The twins have a dentist
appointment Saturday morning.
247
00:08:31,273 --> 00:08:33,144
No. No.
248
00:08:35,976 --> 00:08:39,177
No, no, no, no, no!
249
00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,494
No, no, no, no, no, no!
250
00:08:41,529 --> 00:08:42,823
Hello, Apple?
251
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,186
Yeah, I'm looking for some inside info.
252
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,572
You know, something
that may send your stocks
253
00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:47,969
through the roof.
254
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,707
Okay, well, uh, then,
255
00:08:49,744 --> 00:08:52,059
could you connect me to your
top-secret products division?
256
00:08:53,390 --> 00:08:56,047
No insider-trading tips over the phone?
257
00:08:56,082 --> 00:08:58,091
Wow. Shocking.
258
00:08:58,127 --> 00:09:00,613
Those Apple guys are just
as tight-lipped as Nike.
259
00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,011
At least he's trying.
260
00:09:03,613 --> 00:09:06,577
That's just the kind of
spirit I'm looking for.
261
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:07,839
Congrats.
262
00:09:07,874 --> 00:09:10,633
You are now the new vice
president of J&J Holdings.
263
00:09:10,668 --> 00:09:13,427
All right,
now, I'm looking for trends.
264
00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:15,539
What are you hearing? What are you using?
265
00:09:15,576 --> 00:09:17,311
- What are you loving?
- Cookies!
266
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,050
Delicious. Need a better idea.
267
00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:20,652
Ooh! I've got one.
268
00:09:20,688 --> 00:09:21,674
Quit.
269
00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,344
- Not helping.
- I know.
270
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,867
I just love how you wildly
change your personality
271
00:09:25,902 --> 00:09:28,943
from week to week and expect
an outcome other than failure.
272
00:09:28,978 --> 00:09:31,027
♪
273
00:09:31,062 --> 00:09:33,727
No, I didn't get your WhatsApp.
274
00:09:33,762 --> 00:09:34,990
We're on WeChat now.
275
00:09:35,028 --> 00:09:37,862
WhatsApp is old-school and desperate...
276
00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:40,390
Like calling somebody, Sara.
277
00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:41,416
Goodbye.
278
00:09:49,415 --> 00:09:51,806
I think we just found our hot-dog guy.
279
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,925
Did we?
280
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,094
Walk with me.
281
00:09:57,970 --> 00:10:00,508
How was the dentist
appointment with the twins?
282
00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:02,277
- Oh, harrowing.
- Hmm.
283
00:10:02,314 --> 00:10:04,087
Diane may need a night guard.
284
00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:07,604
Jack swallowed fluoride and
has a two-week follow-up.
285
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,960
Really hoping you can make it.
286
00:10:09,996 --> 00:10:11,599
So, while you were doing that,
287
00:10:11,635 --> 00:10:14,365
I was able to identify our problem areas.
288
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,038
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
289
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,438
Mm-hmm.
290
00:10:17,473 --> 00:10:20,715
Sneakers, watch of the
month, unnecessary insurance.
291
00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:22,048
There's no such thing, Bow.
292
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:24,061
- Tornado insurance?
- You never know.
293
00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,007
- Flood?
- Rain happens.
294
00:10:26,044 --> 00:10:28,671
- Volcano.
- We live on a fault line!
295
00:10:28,707 --> 00:10:31,403
Why don't you just get us
asteroid insurance, Dre?
296
00:10:31,438 --> 00:10:33,382
Oh, my God.
297
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:36,660
I've left our family totally exposed.
298
00:10:36,696 --> 00:10:38,675
This is ridiculous.
299
00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:40,757
You know what's ridiculous, Bow?
300
00:10:40,794 --> 00:10:44,343
The things that aren't on your list.
301
00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:45,367
Mm.
302
00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:47,792
Like expensive organic hair products,
303
00:10:47,827 --> 00:10:51,444
weekly cuts at Devachan,
crates of soy candles,
304
00:10:51,482 --> 00:10:54,928
fresh cut flowers, and
monthly sage cleanses.
305
00:10:54,964 --> 00:10:56,908
When was the last time
any of us got possessed?
306
00:10:56,944 --> 00:10:59,434
Stop making my point for me.
307
00:10:59,471 --> 00:11:02,132
Fine, before this gets any more hurtful,
308
00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:05,308
I think we should both
go on a spending diet.
309
00:11:05,343 --> 00:11:07,185
Mm.
310
00:11:07,222 --> 00:11:10,942
And some of us should go
on that real diet
311
00:11:10,978 --> 00:11:12,171
they've been threatening.
312
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:15,209
Hmm.
313
00:11:15,246 --> 00:11:17,941
So, I take it the "before
it gets hurtful" part
314
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,272
is off the table.
315
00:11:19,308 --> 00:11:21,321
- Huh.
- And since it is,
316
00:11:21,357 --> 00:11:24,668
why don't we just add to our waxing budget?
317
00:11:24,703 --> 00:11:27,876
It will offset our drano fund.
318
00:11:27,913 --> 00:11:30,984
- Wow. Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
319
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:34,295
All right, then, hurtful meeting adjourned.
320
00:11:34,332 --> 00:11:37,163
We can both go back to
our respective corners
321
00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:39,417
and prove to each other
that we can set aside
322
00:11:39,454 --> 00:11:42,490
our luxury lifestyles
and make some real cuts.
323
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:43,447
- Agreed.
- Mm-hmm.
324
00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:47,543
Check back in in a week.
325
00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:52,251
♪
326
00:11:53,585 --> 00:11:55,016
Boom! Another sale!
327
00:11:55,051 --> 00:11:56,462
Put it on the board!
328
00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:58,738
Uh, is that a new watch?
329
00:11:58,774 --> 00:12:00,116
It's pretty flight, right?
330
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,115
Me and Junior have been
following you around,
331
00:12:02,152 --> 00:12:03,321
making money off of you.
332
00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:04,770
You know, like pimps.
333
00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:06,217
You're trendy and cool,
334
00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:08,974
so I've been investing
based on your preferences.
335
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:10,870
Oh, my God!
336
00:12:10,907 --> 00:12:13,386
You guys have been using me to make money.
337
00:12:13,423 --> 00:12:16,212
Yeah... Like... Pimps.
338
00:12:16,249 --> 00:12:18,453
Okay, so, where's my cut?
339
00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:19,590
Your cut?
340
00:12:19,627 --> 00:12:21,348
This is public information, baby.
341
00:12:21,384 --> 00:12:25,036
Not anymore. I'm shutting you down.
342
00:12:25,073 --> 00:12:28,380
What is she reading?
343
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,791
♪
344
00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:39,512
Yes, operator, in Los Angeles,
345
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:43,407
the number for... dress barn.
346
00:12:43,444 --> 00:12:45,711
We're doomed.
347
00:12:45,746 --> 00:12:48,657
So, Bow and I decided
to prove to each other
348
00:12:48,692 --> 00:12:50,992
that we could live without
our outrageous expenses.
349
00:12:51,028 --> 00:12:52,821
Bow started
with hair products
350
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,853
she picked up
at the dollar store.
351
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:03,790
I countered with some
of Kirkland's finest.
352
00:13:03,828 --> 00:13:04,841
Sharp! Ha ha!
353
00:13:07,518 --> 00:13:11,206
And neither of us
was really loving it.
354
00:13:13,613 --> 00:13:15,439
Oh.
355
00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:18,689
You'll actually look
forward to laundry day.
356
00:13:18,725 --> 00:13:20,146
What are those?!
357
00:13:20,181 --> 00:13:21,601
What are those?!
358
00:13:21,637 --> 00:13:23,328
What are tho...
359
00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:25,495
no, no, no, no. Seriously,
what... what's going on?
360
00:13:25,531 --> 00:13:27,256
Budget cuts.
361
00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:28,983
Oh, no, no, no, this is not
happening. Not on my watch.
362
00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,810
I have an emergency pair of CrispyKicks
363
00:13:30,846 --> 00:13:32,842
and a selection of hoodies in my cubicle.
364
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,570
- Go hit that.
- No, no, it It's cool, it's cool.
365
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:38,327
Wh... hold on, hold on.
You have backup clothes?
366
00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:39,750
You're an assistant.
367
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,206
Although, now that I think of it,
368
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:42,967
I've never actually seen either of you wear
369
00:13:43,002 --> 00:13:44,524
- the same thing twice.
- Thank you.
370
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:46,386
Oh, listen, Dre, if you're
having budget concerns,
371
00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:49,535
you may consider repeating an
outfit every once in a while.
372
00:13:49,571 --> 00:13:50,991
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
373
00:13:51,027 --> 00:13:52,887
If he does that, you might as
well start wearing holey flannels,
374
00:13:52,923 --> 00:13:54,850
scuffing up your kicks, and drive a prius.
375
00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:55,698
I drive a prius.
376
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:56,679
Of course you do.
377
00:13:56,716 --> 00:13:59,252
See, you can do that.
378
00:13:59,288 --> 00:14:00,810
Brothers cannot.
379
00:14:00,845 --> 00:14:03,721
We have to dress the
part just to get the part
380
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:04,704
that you already have.
381
00:14:04,739 --> 00:14:06,905
Oh, so, it's a "cultural" thing.
382
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:08,496
I love this part of the day.
383
00:14:08,566 --> 00:14:10,832
I'm gonna sit and just
listen and not weigh in.
384
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:12,796
H.R. says I'm on my second strike,
385
00:14:12,832 --> 00:14:15,200
but I can't wait for the
part where you explain
386
00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:18,045
how your outfits somehow
relate to slavery. Go.
387
00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,227
Did he just say that?
388
00:14:21,263 --> 00:14:23,637
I did, and I-I... and I feel
like it's probably strike three?
389
00:14:24,845 --> 00:14:26,324
Ugh.
390
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,562
Hey, babe.
391
00:14:28,599 --> 00:14:31,283
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
392
00:14:31,319 --> 00:14:33,571
Organic avocado-pear conditioner?
393
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:35,187
I thought we said we were cutting back.
394
00:14:35,221 --> 00:14:38,920
Oh, we did. And then Oh... these arrived.
395
00:14:40,537 --> 00:14:42,250
- Oh.
- More shoes.
396
00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:43,427
Dre, what's wrong with you?
397
00:14:43,463 --> 00:14:45,379
I'm tired of looking like this!
398
00:14:45,414 --> 00:14:47,297
Well, I'm tired of looking like this!
399
00:14:47,331 --> 00:14:48,440
Damn.
400
00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:49,987
Dre, I took a nap in a wheelchair at work,
401
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,399
and they tagged me as a psych patient.
402
00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:54,226
We agreed we were gonna
make some serious changes.
403
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,446
And we will.
404
00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:58,430
I-I... let me just explain, all right?
405
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:01,828
M-my shoes and my clothes
They are a part of me.
406
00:15:01,863 --> 00:15:03,577
I can't compromise on those.
407
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:06,369
- Dre...
- look, I have a plan to offset my spending.
408
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,379
- Okay.
- All right?
409
00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:10,170
I'm gonna start mowing our own lawn.
410
00:15:10,206 --> 00:15:11,919
Big Dre got that.
411
00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:14,308
Same way big Dre handled our money?
412
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,360
What does that mean?
413
00:15:16,396 --> 00:15:19,185
It wasn't coded, Dre. You broke our deal.
414
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:22,818
I trusted you to handle our
finances, and you failed.
415
00:15:22,854 --> 00:15:24,165
Okay, so all of this is on me?
416
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,250
Because I don't remember
you saying anything
417
00:15:26,285 --> 00:15:29,176
when we bought this house
and when we bought those cars
418
00:15:29,212 --> 00:15:31,396
and when I bought this
sub-zero refrigerator.
419
00:15:31,433 --> 00:15:33,617
I don't remember the princess suburbian mom
420
00:15:33,652 --> 00:15:34,996
saying no to any of that stuff.
421
00:15:35,031 --> 00:15:36,442
I didn't say no
422
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,965
because I thought I married a man
423
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,849
who could take care of business.
424
00:15:42,196 --> 00:15:44,179
Yeah.
425
00:15:44,214 --> 00:15:46,063
♪
426
00:15:50,331 --> 00:15:54,063
How am I the monster?!
What's the point in having...
427
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,520
Rainbow, Rainbow, I need you to
slow down and stay in the frame.
428
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,437
If I can't see you, I can't read your aura.
429
00:15:58,473 --> 00:16:00,590
My aura is pissed off!
430
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,684
Sweetheart, no need to
transfer your anger onto me.
431
00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:07,149
Now, let's talk about the
real source of your problems.
432
00:16:07,185 --> 00:16:08,025
Andre!
433
00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:09,369
You know what?
434
00:16:09,406 --> 00:16:10,951
For once, you might be right, Mom.
435
00:16:11,019 --> 00:16:14,045
How did you and dad deal with money issues?
436
00:16:14,082 --> 00:16:15,895
Well, as long as there was enough,
437
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,216
I tried not to really involve myself.
438
00:16:18,252 --> 00:16:20,200
Well, was there enough?
439
00:16:20,237 --> 00:16:22,522
I-I-I suppose,
yes. I don't know.
440
00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:25,449
Let's focus on Andre's shortcomings.
441
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,064
He's very loud.
442
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,746
Mom! Seriously.
443
00:16:28,781 --> 00:16:30,931
Why don't we talk about money?
444
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:34,902
Because I don't understand it, okay?
445
00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:36,752
Talking about it makes me feel stupid.
446
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,611
Oh, my God. Me too.
447
00:16:39,646 --> 00:16:41,662
That's why I gave Dre the job.
448
00:16:41,699 --> 00:16:43,446
I did the same thing.
449
00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:45,295
I let your father handle it.
450
00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:49,332
And now we're living in an R.V.
that runs on our own waste!
451
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:51,721
Oh, my God. I am sweating.
452
00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:57,344
We really need
a prescription.
453
00:16:57,381 --> 00:16:58,998
All right, buddy, you feeling it?
454
00:16:59,035 --> 00:17:00,153
It's me and you.
455
00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,781
But we don't have Zoey's cool.
456
00:17:01,818 --> 00:17:03,513
We don't need it.
457
00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:04,497
We've got this.
458
00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:06,263
Now, come on, let me get some.
459
00:17:06,298 --> 00:17:08,571
♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪
460
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,675
♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪
461
00:17:10,712 --> 00:17:12,779
♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪
462
00:17:12,815 --> 00:17:14,477
- ♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪
- ♪ mmmmmm ♪
463
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:15,733
Okay, what you got?
464
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:17,023
My chest hurts.
465
00:17:17,058 --> 00:17:18,380
Maybe we should just give Zoey a cut.
466
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:19,875
We don't need her.
467
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:22,386
We have her garbage.
468
00:17:22,422 --> 00:17:23,777
I am not following.
469
00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:28,834
Bingo.
470
00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:29,956
This is it.
471
00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:33,485
Lip gloss made by Exgen
cosmetic laboratories.
472
00:17:33,521 --> 00:17:36,744
There's moments in life where
you got to tuck your balls.
473
00:17:36,779 --> 00:17:38,781
Other times, you got to let them hang.
474
00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:39,969
I don't want to do either.
475
00:17:40,004 --> 00:17:43,024
It's a metaphor. You all-in or not?
476
00:17:43,059 --> 00:17:44,381
Do I get to keep the suit?
477
00:17:44,418 --> 00:17:45,739
Yes.
478
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:46,927
Then let's tuck 'em!
479
00:17:46,963 --> 00:17:49,167
No, we're gonna let 'em hang.
480
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,033
It's my bad. I wasn't clear.
481
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,172
Ooh, got a hot tip.
482
00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:54,870
- Son, let me just hold a little bit.
- No.
483
00:17:54,906 --> 00:17:56,126
- Just a little something.
- No.
484
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:59,351
No more holding anything, ever.
485
00:17:59,386 --> 00:18:00,878
- How hot?
- Look...
486
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,406
no, no, no, no! Don't even tell me.
487
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,662
See, you got me all turned around.
488
00:18:03,697 --> 00:18:05,188
You're the reason I'm
in this mess right now.
489
00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:07,938
Got me looking like less than
a man in front of my wife.
490
00:18:07,973 --> 00:18:09,465
You don't need no help with that.
491
00:18:09,502 --> 00:18:11,943
I told you, baby wipes in the
bathroom was the wrong move.
492
00:18:11,979 --> 00:18:13,335
I'm not talking about baby wipes.
493
00:18:13,371 --> 00:18:15,338
Look, man, you lived
from check-to-check,
494
00:18:15,374 --> 00:18:17,002
and now, basically, I'm
doing the same thing.
495
00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:18,291
Hold on, now.
496
00:18:18,327 --> 00:18:20,600
I ain't had no shame about
living check-to-check.
497
00:18:20,635 --> 00:18:22,024
That means I was getting a check.
498
00:18:22,061 --> 00:18:23,993
Had another check to look forward to
499
00:18:24,030 --> 00:18:25,215
and a pension after that.
500
00:18:25,251 --> 00:18:26,981
You... you're just
blowing through money fast.
501
00:18:27,016 --> 00:18:28,169
You didn't learn that from me.
502
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:30,036
Exactly, because, when it comes to money,
503
00:18:30,071 --> 00:18:32,343
you never taught me a damn
thing about financial planning.
504
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,414
Well, back then, we didn't
have any financial planning,
505
00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:36,450
'cause we didn't have
any finances to plan for.
506
00:18:36,487 --> 00:18:38,521
Food on the table, roof over your head...
507
00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:39,574
that was the plan.
508
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,779
But you got your degree and a great job.
509
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:45,106
This is on you. You don't have any excuse.
510
00:18:45,143 --> 00:18:47,448
You need to own that, Mr. 815.
511
00:18:47,485 --> 00:18:49,146
- 819.
- Whatever.
512
00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:52,744
Anything between 770 and
850 are basically the same.
513
00:18:52,779 --> 00:18:56,443
Saw that on "Charlie Rose."
514
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,720
You know he's right.
515
00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:03,369
Look, there's pride in over 800.
516
00:19:03,404 --> 00:19:05,574
About needing to own it, Dre,
517
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:08,290
which is why I want to apologize.
518
00:19:08,325 --> 00:19:11,684
Just the whole money
thing is so scary to me,
519
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,687
and I said things I shouldn't have said.
520
00:19:13,722 --> 00:19:18,100
So... I'm sorry.
521
00:19:18,136 --> 00:19:19,661
I'm sorry, Dre.
522
00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:21,800
I trust you more than anyone else.
523
00:19:21,835 --> 00:19:24,209
I do. And I think you're
the smartest man I know.
524
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,567
Really?
525
00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:27,740
- Top 10.
- Uh...
526
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:31,031
Dre, I-I-I work with a
lot of very bright people,
527
00:19:31,068 --> 00:19:34,020
and for an adman to be in the top 20...
528
00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:35,478
Oh...30.
529
00:19:35,515 --> 00:19:38,636
But you... Are...
530
00:19:38,672 --> 00:19:40,842
The smartest man
531
00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:44,134
I have ever been married to.
532
00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:51,059
Look, babe, I... I'm sorry
I got us into this mess.
533
00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:54,046
And I know I like to live a little large.
534
00:19:54,081 --> 00:19:57,372
Dre, you have snakeskin pajamas.
535
00:19:57,408 --> 00:19:58,459
Yep.
536
00:19:58,495 --> 00:20:00,427
And I do all that for a reason.
537
00:20:00,463 --> 00:20:02,192
Take these sneakers.
538
00:20:02,228 --> 00:20:03,991
- Uh-huh.
- Right?
539
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:07,182
I only started buying them
because I wanted the same ones
540
00:20:07,218 --> 00:20:09,831
my mother couldn't afford when I was a kid.
541
00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:12,919
And I guess that thinking spilled over into
542
00:20:12,954 --> 00:20:16,042
the house I always wanted
and the car I always wanted.
543
00:20:16,077 --> 00:20:17,908
But, babe, the truth is,
544
00:20:17,945 --> 00:20:20,250
the only thing that really matters
545
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:24,087
is that I got the woman I always wanted.
546
00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:25,716
Okay?
547
00:20:25,752 --> 00:20:26,972
Okay.
548
00:20:27,007 --> 00:20:29,890
♪
549
00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:31,417
And I got my fridge.
550
00:20:35,781 --> 00:20:38,715
So, we decided to start talking
about money more as a family,
551
00:20:38,812 --> 00:20:41,565
which is good,
since Jack and Junior
552
00:20:41,601 --> 00:20:44,873
literally lost their shirts
when Exgen went belly-up.
553
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:48,350
Even pops started taking
a more proactive approach.
554
00:20:48,386 --> 00:20:50,747
That's it, J.B. I ain't got no receipts.
555
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,301
Better not to!
556
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:53,551
Well, you don't want to leave a paper trail
557
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:55,308
when you're dealing with the IRS.
558
00:20:55,344 --> 00:20:57,268
- My man.
- Now, Earl,
559
00:20:57,303 --> 00:21:00,005
if you can sew your pockets
shut on all your clothes...
560
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,099
- Yeah?
- They qualify as a costume.
561
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,552
- Say what?
- Yeah, it's a write-off.
562
00:21:03,588 --> 00:21:04,037
What?!
563
00:21:04,158 --> 00:21:06,743
Now, all you got to do now
is go onstage once a year.
564
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:09,127
- Like singing or something?
- You can do stand-up.
565
00:21:09,162 --> 00:21:10,681
Well, I can talk with a drink
in my hand for 10 minutes.
566
00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:12,133
Don't need but five.
567
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:16,188
Then let's do 10... take
out two fiscal years.
568
00:21:17,339 --> 00:21:18,418
- My man!
- Yes, sir!
569
00:21:18,454 --> 00:21:19,330
Whoo!