1
00:00:00,364 --> 00:00:01,114
As a father,
2
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:04,322
there's nothing better than
the birth of your first son.
3
00:00:04,390 --> 00:00:05,690
Your son is the person
4
00:00:05,758 --> 00:00:07,692
who is supposed to carry on your legacy,
5
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,060
your flyness,
6
00:00:09,128 --> 00:00:11,529
someone you hope will be just like you.
7
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:13,231
So it's a real kick in the berries
8
00:00:13,299 --> 00:00:17,068
when you find out your son
isn't a damn thing like you.
9
00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:18,503
I'm gonna go try on my tights.
10
00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:20,171
It's even worse when you find out
11
00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,173
not only is he not like you...
12
00:00:22,241 --> 00:00:23,909
He's not like anybody.
13
00:00:23,976 --> 00:00:25,911
- I want to have a Bar Mitzvah.
- A...?
14
00:00:25,978 --> 00:00:28,179
- I'm gonna go with either Schlomo or Schmuel.
- What?
15
00:00:28,247 --> 00:00:29,581
You get to be my best man.
16
00:00:29,649 --> 00:00:30,582
Ohh!
17
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:32,250
Bachelor party at Medieval Times!
18
00:00:32,318 --> 00:00:33,718
Ahh.
19
00:00:33,786 --> 00:00:35,429
I finally got the coffee order right!
20
00:00:35,549 --> 00:00:36,582
Ohh!
21
00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:37,822
So there's nothing more exciting
22
00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:39,124
than realizing your son
23
00:00:39,191 --> 00:00:41,559
might be more like you than you thought
24
00:00:41,627 --> 00:00:44,262
and that he might have
a shot a social life
25
00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:46,998
that doesn't involve
action figures and wizards.
26
00:00:47,066 --> 00:00:48,233
Hey, son.
27
00:00:48,301 --> 00:00:50,235
- What's up?
- Can I talk to you for a second?
28
00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:51,536
Oh. Yeah.
29
00:00:51,604 --> 00:00:55,774
Um, are these kids here
to copy your homework?
30
00:00:55,841 --> 00:00:57,842
No. They're my friends.
31
00:01:00,913 --> 00:01:03,281
Okay, go, go, go, go. Go
play with your friends.
32
00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:06,051
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
33
00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:09,421
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
34
00:01:09,488 --> 00:01:11,056
Babe, babe, you'll never
guess what happened.
35
00:01:11,123 --> 00:01:12,223
Huh?
36
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:13,591
Junior is over there with his friends,
37
00:01:13,659 --> 00:01:15,393
and they are talking about the
Drake-Meek Mill beef, right?
38
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:17,862
Said that Drake "bodied" Meek.
39
00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:19,464
And I said, "Son, is that good?"
40
00:01:19,532 --> 00:01:21,299
and he looked at me and laughed.
41
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,734
Okay?
42
00:01:22,802 --> 00:01:24,269
He sonned me, Bow.
43
00:01:24,337 --> 00:01:25,704
He said I'm the guy
44
00:01:25,771 --> 00:01:28,907
that's probably still
listening to Meek Mill.
45
00:01:28,975 --> 00:01:30,075
He bodied me.
46
00:01:30,142 --> 00:01:31,710
That means he destroyed me.
47
00:01:31,777 --> 00:01:33,278
That is very disrespectful.
48
00:01:33,346 --> 00:01:34,412
I should talk to him.
49
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,947
- Oh, yeah. Try it.
- Okay.
50
00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:37,282
- He'll son you, too.
- What?
51
00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:38,950
And I have never been prouder.
52
00:01:40,019 --> 00:01:42,087
Those guys he's with...
53
00:01:42,154 --> 00:01:43,922
they say they're his friends,
54
00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,157
but I think they're
probably trying to get to me.
55
00:01:46,225 --> 00:01:48,960
Okay, Dre, Junior's been
hanging out with Wes and Kevin
56
00:01:49,028 --> 00:01:50,295
for the last couple of weeks.
57
00:01:50,363 --> 00:01:51,396
They're clicking.
58
00:01:51,464 --> 00:01:54,299
Uh, please, Bow, they are not clicking.
59
00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:55,967
- Okay.
- All right?
60
00:01:56,035 --> 00:01:59,337
They are vibing and on
their way to a lituation.
61
00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:00,805
And if you were cool,
62
00:02:00,873 --> 00:02:03,808
you would know that
that is a lit situation.
63
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:05,810
- Did you just look that up, Dre?
- Nope.
64
00:02:05,878 --> 00:02:07,145
Give me your phone.
65
00:02:07,213 --> 00:02:08,480
It's, uh... It's out of battery power.
66
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:10,181
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
67
00:02:11,584 --> 00:02:13,318
That's my, uh...
68
00:02:13,386 --> 00:02:16,187
That's my out-of-battery-power ring.
69
00:02:16,255 --> 00:02:17,589
- Okay.
- It's just letting me know
70
00:02:17,656 --> 00:02:19,457
- that we can't do nothing with it no more.
- Right.
71
00:02:19,525 --> 00:02:21,626
Dre, I don't know what the big deal is.
72
00:02:21,694 --> 00:02:23,294
Junior has always had friends.
73
00:02:23,362 --> 00:02:25,330
Yeah, but not like these.
74
00:02:25,398 --> 00:02:26,331
What?
75
00:02:26,399 --> 00:02:28,199
This is a game changer.
76
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:29,501
- What?
- Bow...
77
00:02:29,568 --> 00:02:32,003
- Huh?
- I think I love him now.
78
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:33,371
- What? Dre...
- I really feel it...
79
00:02:33,439 --> 00:02:36,174
Hey, Mom, can my boys
come over tomorrow?
80
00:02:36,242 --> 00:02:37,542
- Oh, no, sweetheart.
- Yes!
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00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:39,110
- We've got the...
- Yes, son!
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00:02:39,178 --> 00:02:41,312
- We have...
- Your boys can come over tomorrow!
83
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:44,115
Can I also get the new Jordans
coming out this Saturday?
84
00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:45,884
- Maybe for your birthday.
- Quiet, woman!
85
00:02:45,951 --> 00:02:46,751
What the...?
86
00:02:48,454 --> 00:02:49,788
- Yes.
- Uh...
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00:02:49,855 --> 00:02:52,991
Yes, you can get the new Jordans
coming out on Saturday, son.
88
00:02:53,059 --> 00:02:54,626
Oh, my God.
89
00:02:54,693 --> 00:02:56,661
This...
90
00:02:56,729 --> 00:02:59,631
is gonna be your first
pair of real kicks.
91
00:02:59,698 --> 00:03:02,000
- Uh...
- Dad, are you crying?
92
00:03:02,068 --> 00:03:03,468
No!
93
00:03:03,536 --> 00:03:05,070
Okay, okay, okay.
94
00:03:05,137 --> 00:03:07,172
- Junior, I love you!
- Oh, my God.
95
00:03:11,477 --> 00:03:14,079
Kids, come on!
96
00:03:14,146 --> 00:03:15,513
Who broke this?!
97
00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:19,751
Ohh! Ohh! My ankle!
98
00:03:19,819 --> 00:03:21,586
What got in your way, the floor?
99
00:03:21,654 --> 00:03:23,588
You're in pain.
100
00:03:23,656 --> 00:03:25,757
- It really hurts.
- Are you okay?
101
00:03:25,825 --> 00:03:27,258
- I'm okay, it's just...
- Okay, great.
102
00:03:27,326 --> 00:03:28,893
Come on. Who broke this?!
103
00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:30,061
It wasn't me.
104
00:03:30,129 --> 00:03:31,196
Me, neither.
105
00:03:31,263 --> 00:03:32,363
Don't look at me.
106
00:03:32,431 --> 00:03:34,332
Ruby?
107
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,600
Hmm? Yeah?
108
00:03:35,668 --> 00:03:39,404
Oh, are you asking so
you'll know who to thank?
109
00:03:39,472 --> 00:03:41,339
- No...
- It's hideous glassware.
110
00:03:41,407 --> 00:03:43,274
It's just hideous.
111
00:03:43,342 --> 00:03:45,110
Hmph.
112
00:03:45,177 --> 00:03:46,244
What?
113
00:03:46,312 --> 00:03:48,196
What... What are you hmph-ing about?
114
00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:49,583
Oh, no, I'm I'm sorry.
115
00:03:49,651 --> 00:03:50,651
I'm not judging.
116
00:03:50,718 --> 00:03:52,686
I-I just don't have
good "hmph" control.
117
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:55,389
No, tell me. I-I-I want to know.
118
00:03:55,457 --> 00:03:57,691
Well, I know I've only been
working here a few months.
119
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:58,959
It's just... It seems to me
120
00:03:59,027 --> 00:04:00,727
that a lot of things
get broken around here,
121
00:04:00,795 --> 00:04:04,364
and nobody seems to
know who did it or how.
122
00:04:04,432 --> 00:04:06,066
Oh.
123
00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:10,704
- It wasn't me!
- It wasn't me!
124
00:04:12,073 --> 00:04:12,973
- It wasn't me.
- It wasn't me.
125
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,611
Let me guess.
126
00:04:17,679 --> 00:04:18,946
It wasn't you.
127
00:04:20,348 --> 00:04:23,784
Well, Vivian, kids are
supposed to lie a little.
128
00:04:23,852 --> 00:04:24,952
Hmph!
129
00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:27,621
I'm sorry. I-I did it again.
130
00:04:27,689 --> 00:04:30,791
It's just my mama used to
always say if you lie, you steal.
131
00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:32,493
If you steal, you kill.
132
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,161
Yeah, well, moms don't know everything.
133
00:04:34,229 --> 00:04:37,464
Well, none of my mom's
kids ever killed anybody...
134
00:04:37,532 --> 00:04:38,765
except Thelonious.
135
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:40,133
- What?
- Mm...
136
00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:42,970
I just know I wouldn't let
my kids do me like that.
137
00:04:43,037 --> 00:04:44,605
But you know what? it's not my house.
138
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,107
Uh, uh...
139
00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:48,242
Uh...
140
00:04:48,309 --> 00:04:49,977
Yeah, well... I... are you gonna...?
141
00:04:50,044 --> 00:04:51,178
Hmm.
142
00:04:51,246 --> 00:04:54,448
Oh, look at this! The boys are back.
143
00:04:54,516 --> 00:04:56,450
The crew. The posse.
144
00:04:56,518 --> 00:04:58,619
The wolves. The homies.
145
00:04:58,686 --> 00:05:00,587
#SquadGoals.
146
00:05:00,655 --> 00:05:03,290
Dad, you're giving us douche chills.
147
00:05:03,358 --> 00:05:04,758
Oh, still sonning me.
148
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,929
What the hell happened to your shoes?
149
00:05:08,997 --> 00:05:10,697
We were playing basketball.
150
00:05:10,765 --> 00:05:14,167
But... Boy, you never play
basketball in basketball shoes!
151
00:05:14,235 --> 00:05:16,803
You wear them to weddings,
funerals, and the Grammys.
152
00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:18,939
Then you dust them off
and resell them on eBay
153
00:05:19,007 --> 00:05:19,973
and get you some more.
154
00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:21,542
It's the circle of life, son!
155
00:05:21,609 --> 00:05:23,176
Your dad's funny.
156
00:05:23,244 --> 00:05:24,945
- I got to go.
- Yeah, me, too.
157
00:05:25,013 --> 00:05:27,114
I've got the Obama fundraiser.
158
00:05:27,181 --> 00:05:29,016
Another place you could
have worn your shoes.
159
00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:31,218
Hey, uh, Wes, how is it
160
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,353
that you're able to go
to the Obama fundraiser?
161
00:05:33,421 --> 00:05:34,821
He kind of has to.
162
00:05:34,889 --> 00:05:35,989
It's at his house.
163
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:38,025
Yeah, Obama's coming
over early to shower.
164
00:05:38,092 --> 00:05:41,728
Obama's... showering at your house?
165
00:05:41,796 --> 00:05:43,163
Well, the Malibu house.
166
00:05:43,231 --> 00:05:44,898
How... How... How many
houses do you guys have?
167
00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:46,567
Me personally or my parents?
168
00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:47,868
Well, you know.
169
00:05:47,936 --> 00:05:49,736
- 'Cause I just have the one in Brentwood.
- Uh...
170
00:05:49,804 --> 00:05:52,339
I haven't asked my parents
how many houses they have.
171
00:05:52,407 --> 00:05:54,007
That would be gauche.
172
00:05:54,075 --> 00:05:55,976
Ah, it's It's...
173
00:05:56,044 --> 00:05:59,346
I...
174
00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:00,480
"Gauche."
175
00:06:00,548 --> 00:06:02,316
Borrowed from the French "gauchir,"
176
00:06:02,383 --> 00:06:04,751
meaning to be socially awkward, clumsy.
177
00:06:04,819 --> 00:06:07,254
Used in a sentence...
"When Dre doesn't want
178
00:06:07,322 --> 00:06:09,222
to make eye contact
with me at the urinal,
179
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:10,757
that is gauche."
180
00:06:10,825 --> 00:06:12,926
Who talks like that? Hmm?
181
00:06:12,994 --> 00:06:16,697
Can you believe these rich brats
with their Obama fundraisers?
182
00:06:16,764 --> 00:06:18,565
Dre, Junior is gonna be fine, okay?
183
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:21,735
It's... It's good that he's
hanging out with wealthy people.
184
00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:23,503
Wealthy people are superior.
185
00:06:23,571 --> 00:06:25,872
- Yeah. They're worth more.
- Wealthy lives matter, Dre.
186
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,341
What?
187
00:06:27,408 --> 00:06:28,742
Uh, oh, okay, that came out wrong.
188
00:06:28,810 --> 00:06:32,512
Uh, wealthy lives matter most.
189
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,548
- There we go.
- Yeah, that's what I meant.
190
00:06:34,616 --> 00:06:36,450
See, that is what I'm worried about.
191
00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:39,886
I don't want Junior to
lose touch with reality.
192
00:06:39,954 --> 00:06:41,388
Th-That is ridiculous.
193
00:06:41,456 --> 00:06:42,889
Do I seem out of touch to you?
194
00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:43,924
- Hmm?
- Okay.
195
00:06:43,992 --> 00:06:45,792
How much does a loaf of bread cost?
196
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,728
$195.
197
00:06:47,795 --> 00:06:49,029
Boom. Nailed it.
198
00:06:49,097 --> 00:06:50,931
You are completely out of touch.
199
00:06:50,999 --> 00:06:53,233
Okay, all right. So I
don't do my own shopping.
200
00:06:53,301 --> 00:06:54,901
I'm not a woman.
201
00:06:54,969 --> 00:06:56,436
Honestly, Dre-Doggy-Dawg,
202
00:06:56,504 --> 00:06:59,439
Junior hanging out with rich
folks can only be a good thing.
203
00:06:59,507 --> 00:07:00,774
Hmm.
204
00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:02,442
When I needed a kidney,
my parents' rich friends
205
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:04,878
knew just the right
Indian village to go to
206
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,079
- to get me a new one.
- Oh, yeah.
207
00:07:06,147 --> 00:07:07,948
Thank you, Sanjay.
208
00:07:08,016 --> 00:07:09,249
Namaste.
209
00:07:09,317 --> 00:07:10,917
What you really need to worry about
210
00:07:10,985 --> 00:07:12,319
is rich people's best-kept secret.
211
00:07:15,123 --> 00:07:18,659
They like to keep minorities as pets.
212
00:07:18,726 --> 00:07:19,760
Hey.
213
00:07:19,827 --> 00:07:22,963
Did you see the documentary "The Toy"?
214
00:07:23,031 --> 00:07:23,897
Hmm?
215
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:25,098
Charlie...
216
00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:28,669
that was a scripted film
starring Richard Pryor.
217
00:07:28,736 --> 00:07:30,937
Was it, Dre? Was it?
218
00:07:31,005 --> 00:07:33,907
Yes, Charlie! It was! Yes, it was!
219
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,910
The flesh wants everything
but wisdom, don't it?
220
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,311
- Uh...
- Wisdom.
221
00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:40,113
Dre, you know what?
222
00:07:40,181 --> 00:07:41,248
My God.
223
00:07:41,315 --> 00:07:43,083
Your son is going to be fine, okay?
224
00:07:43,151 --> 00:07:46,987
Now, seriously, how close was I
to the cost of that bread, huh?
225
00:07:47,055 --> 00:07:50,624
Was I high or low or... what?
226
00:07:50,692 --> 00:07:56,863
So, obviously, this anonymous
confession box didn't work.
227
00:07:56,931 --> 00:07:59,866
But I still need my confession.
228
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:02,102
Okay, I'll go first.
229
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,304
- I've broken things.
- Mm-hmm.
230
00:08:04,372 --> 00:08:05,605
I've lied.
231
00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:07,007
I've lied to your father.
232
00:08:08,076 --> 00:08:09,976
Lied about some very important things
233
00:08:10,044 --> 00:08:11,378
for a good reason
234
00:08:11,446 --> 00:08:12,879
because your father is not
very good at handling things,
235
00:08:12,947 --> 00:08:14,381
but he forgave me,
236
00:08:14,449 --> 00:08:19,886
and I will forgive you
as soon as I know who...
237
00:08:20,788 --> 00:08:22,789
to forgive.
238
00:08:22,857 --> 00:08:24,024
- It wasn't me.
- It wasn't me.
239
00:08:24,092 --> 00:08:25,225
Come on.
240
00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:27,661
Listen, uh, Rainbow,
Rainbow, honey, let it go.
241
00:08:27,729 --> 00:08:29,396
Somebody did you a favor.
242
00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:32,199
Choosing dinnerware is
not your strong suit.
243
00:08:32,266 --> 00:08:34,401
You know, like cooking or cleaning
244
00:08:34,469 --> 00:08:36,136
or wearing age-appropriate clothing.
245
00:08:36,204 --> 00:08:37,537
- Come on.
- I think...
246
00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:39,806
Can we go now?
247
00:08:39,874 --> 00:08:41,141
No.
248
00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:43,410
Thelonious used to talk
to Mama just like that.
249
00:08:43,478 --> 00:08:47,547
Now he talks to her on a
phone through Plexiglas, okay?
250
00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:49,082
- But it's none of my business.
- Mnh-mnh.
251
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:51,017
Uh, who is that?
252
00:08:51,085 --> 00:08:52,919
Come on, guys.
253
00:08:52,987 --> 00:08:54,354
I didn't do it.
254
00:08:54,422 --> 00:08:55,555
Me, neither.
255
00:08:55,623 --> 00:08:56,890
It wasn't me.
256
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,158
That's it!
257
00:08:58,226 --> 00:09:00,227
You're grounded!
258
00:09:00,294 --> 00:09:01,895
No Kanye concert for you.
259
00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:03,997
Jack, no basketball for you.
260
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,565
No alcohol for you.
261
00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:07,067
And...
262
00:09:07,135 --> 00:09:08,068
Oh, my God.
263
00:09:08,136 --> 00:09:09,936
Is there anything that you love?
264
00:09:10,004 --> 00:09:12,672
- Revenge.
- No vengeance for you.
265
00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:13,940
Get out!
266
00:09:14,008 --> 00:09:15,075
Listen. I don't...
267
00:09:15,143 --> 00:09:16,376
It's not...
268
00:09:16,444 --> 00:09:18,345
I'd say I was gonna get you for this,
269
00:09:18,412 --> 00:09:20,046
but I guess that's off the table.
270
00:09:20,114 --> 00:09:22,783
Keep walking.
271
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,017
Ow!
272
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,920
Stevens doesn't even know
the cost of bread, Bow!
273
00:09:26,988 --> 00:09:28,221
Why are we talking about bread?
274
00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:29,456
Because God only knows
275
00:09:29,524 --> 00:09:31,057
the kind people that
Junior hanging out with.
276
00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:34,027
Who invites a 14-year-old
to fly on their private jet
277
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,762
to see a Warriors playoff game?
278
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,130
- They did that?
- Yes!
279
00:09:37,198 --> 00:09:38,565
- They're monsters.
- Right?
280
00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:42,068
Uh, Dre, if you're so worried
about who these people are,
281
00:09:42,136 --> 00:09:43,703
then why don't you just go meet them?
282
00:09:43,771 --> 00:09:45,138
- You're right.
- Mm-hmm.
283
00:09:45,206 --> 00:09:46,473
Junior's going over to Wes' house
284
00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:47,874
for a sleep-over tomorrow night.
285
00:09:47,942 --> 00:09:49,109
I will introduce myself then.
286
00:09:49,177 --> 00:09:51,077
I'll play it cool.
287
00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:53,547
I'll wear all my jewelry.
288
00:09:53,614 --> 00:09:56,116
- Do you want my ring?
- Unh-unh. That's too much.
289
00:09:56,184 --> 00:09:58,084
But have you seen my grill, though?
290
00:09:58,152 --> 00:09:59,953
- N-No.
- Damn it.
291
00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:01,922
I threw it away, Dre.
292
00:10:01,989 --> 00:10:04,057
- Why would you do that?
- Oh, my God.
293
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,495
- Welcome.
- Wow!
294
00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:09,595
This is an amazing view.
295
00:10:09,663 --> 00:10:10,730
Oh, thank you.
296
00:10:10,797 --> 00:10:12,298
That's exactly what Obama said.
297
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:15,801
Of course, he was trying to get
me to write huge check, so...
298
00:10:15,869 --> 00:10:17,036
Barry.
299
00:10:17,104 --> 00:10:19,405
Yo, you want to go watch
the next "Lego Movie"?
300
00:10:19,473 --> 00:10:20,473
- 'Cause we have it.
- Oh.
301
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:22,274
- Yeah?
- The next "Lego Movie"?
302
00:10:22,342 --> 00:10:23,776
It isn't even out yet.
303
00:10:23,844 --> 00:10:25,411
Hell, does Warner Bros. even have it?
304
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,614
And how can you see a movie
in here with all this sunlight?
305
00:10:28,682 --> 00:10:29,749
Oh, no, no, no.
306
00:10:29,816 --> 00:10:31,183
We... We don't watch movies in here.
307
00:10:31,251 --> 00:10:34,553
I mean, the sun puts on a
show for us every single day.
308
00:10:34,621 --> 00:10:37,156
But, no, we... we take the
evator down to the movie room.
309
00:10:37,224 --> 00:10:39,225
Oh, uh, Dad, we're heading downstairs,
310
00:10:39,292 --> 00:10:40,726
so don't worry about me.
311
00:10:40,794 --> 00:10:42,762
The driver's bringing me home tomorrow.
312
00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:43,829
Okay.
313
00:10:43,897 --> 00:10:44,964
So you can go.
314
00:10:45,032 --> 00:10:46,999
All right, the sooner the better.
315
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:48,000
Cool.
316
00:10:48,068 --> 00:10:49,669
Is that a skull?
317
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,570
Yeah. Sure is.
318
00:10:51,638 --> 00:10:54,840
Yeah, it used to hold the
brains of a saber-toothed tiger.
319
00:10:54,908 --> 00:10:56,842
Now it holds just some gum.
320
00:10:56,910 --> 00:10:58,044
Oh.
321
00:10:58,111 --> 00:10:59,945
Can I get you something
to eat, by the way?
322
00:11:00,013 --> 00:11:01,280
Sure. What do you have?
323
00:11:01,348 --> 00:11:03,582
Well, touch of a button, I
can get you anything you want.
324
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:04,750
Anything?
325
00:11:04,818 --> 00:11:05,918
Literally anything.
326
00:11:05,986 --> 00:11:08,287
So, what if, uh, I
said, like, a hamburger?
327
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:09,855
- Sure. How would you like it cooked?
- Oh, uh, mm...
328
00:11:09,923 --> 00:11:11,957
Mnh-mnh.
Mnh-mnh.
329
00:11:12,025 --> 00:11:14,860
Chicago deep-dish pizza.
330
00:11:14,928 --> 00:11:16,128
South Side or North?
331
00:11:16,196 --> 00:11:18,097
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, okay, hold on.
332
00:11:18,165 --> 00:11:20,766
Wait a minute. Let's make this count.
333
00:11:23,036 --> 00:11:26,005
Sushi-inspired Thanksgiving dinner.
334
00:11:26,073 --> 00:11:27,873
Ah, I love that.
335
00:11:27,941 --> 00:11:28,974
We had that two nights ago.
336
00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:30,176
Uh...
337
00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:31,977
Want to take a seat out on the veranda?
338
00:11:32,045 --> 00:11:33,212
- Sure.
- Okay.
339
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,815
You'd have to take
off your shoes, please.
340
00:11:35,882 --> 00:11:37,983
- To go outside?
- Yeah.
341
00:11:38,051 --> 00:11:39,819
Okay, I'm not about to miss this concert
342
00:11:39,886 --> 00:11:41,454
for something that I didn't even do.
343
00:11:41,521 --> 00:11:43,489
Whoever broke that glass
needs to come clean.
344
00:11:43,557 --> 00:11:44,890
All right, listen, listen.
345
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:46,425
I know exactly what to do.
346
00:11:46,493 --> 00:11:48,894
In the Bible, they're always
dealing with this kind of crap.
347
00:11:48,962 --> 00:11:51,197
- Huh?
- What we need is a sacrificial lamb.
348
00:11:51,264 --> 00:11:52,364
No!
349
00:11:52,432 --> 00:11:55,134
We need to stick together.
350
00:11:55,202 --> 00:11:56,569
Ride or die!
351
00:11:56,636 --> 00:11:58,037
All for one!
352
00:11:58,105 --> 00:12:00,005
Don't let them get into our heads, okay?
353
00:12:00,073 --> 00:12:01,173
We can do this!
354
00:12:01,241 --> 00:12:02,908
- Jack did it.
- He told us.
355
00:12:02,976 --> 00:12:04,176
Smashed it right up.
356
00:12:04,244 --> 00:12:05,978
Mm-hmm. Saw it with my own eyes.
357
00:12:06,046 --> 00:12:07,480
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
358
00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:10,082
Must be cool to have your
own private beach, huh?
359
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,218
Oh, yeah. Well, not exactly private.
360
00:12:12,285 --> 00:12:15,087
Spielberg's dog Jaws
thinks he owns the place.
361
00:12:15,155 --> 00:12:16,622
Oh. Well...
362
00:12:18,925 --> 00:12:23,062
Ah, I can't believe I'm hitting
golf balls into the ocean.
363
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:25,064
I think you're about 100 yards
short, but I get the idea.
364
00:12:25,132 --> 00:12:26,999
Sorry, Steven.
365
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:29,034
Oh. My bad, S.S.!
366
00:12:29,102 --> 00:12:30,336
- That's not...
- No?
367
00:12:30,403 --> 00:12:32,505
- That's not appropriate.
- Okay.
368
00:12:32,572 --> 00:12:34,073
He doesn't... He doesn't prefer that.
369
00:12:34,141 --> 00:12:35,274
Ahh.
370
00:12:35,342 --> 00:12:37,710
So, does, uh... Now,
does Junior play golf?
371
00:12:37,778 --> 00:12:39,145
Wes and I hit up Pebble.
372
00:12:39,212 --> 00:12:42,248
You know, maybe the four of us
could chopper up there sometime.
373
00:12:42,315 --> 00:12:43,415
Ah, chopper to Pebble.
374
00:12:43,483 --> 00:12:44,617
Yeah.
375
00:12:44,684 --> 00:12:46,085
Those words have come out
of my mouth before now.
376
00:12:47,254 --> 00:12:48,587
Well, if... if golf's not your thing,
377
00:12:48,655 --> 00:12:50,256
what... what do you
and Junior like to do?
378
00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:51,423
Together?
379
00:12:51,491 --> 00:12:53,459
We play video games.
380
00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:54,794
Wes loves video games.
381
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:55,928
Oh.
382
00:12:55,996 --> 00:12:57,096
Now, I set him up with an internship
383
00:12:57,164 --> 00:12:58,731
at Riot Games in Tokyo.
384
00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:00,966
Oh. Really?
385
00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:02,234
Now he's fluent in Japanese.
386
00:13:02,302 --> 00:13:03,536
- Wow.
- Yeah.
387
00:13:03,603 --> 00:13:05,070
- Nice!
- Mm-hmm.
388
00:13:05,138 --> 00:13:06,605
Well, Junior's looking to
intern this summer, too.
389
00:13:06,673 --> 00:13:07,606
- Oh, that's great.
- Mm-hmm.
390
00:13:07,674 --> 00:13:08,607
Where?
391
00:13:08,675 --> 00:13:10,109
Uh...
392
00:13:10,177 --> 00:13:13,145
Uh, he has lots of options.
393
00:13:13,213 --> 00:13:15,714
- Uh, th-the U.N.
- Great.
394
00:13:15,782 --> 00:13:17,550
And there's NASA.
395
00:13:17,617 --> 00:13:18,851
Fantastic.
396
00:13:18,919 --> 00:13:19,952
You know, but he really
doesn't have the time
397
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,720
because he's so busy playing polo.
398
00:13:21,788 --> 00:13:22,822
Oh, fantastic.
399
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:23,823
What club do you belong to?
400
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,425
Uh... Marco Polo.
401
00:13:26,493 --> 00:13:31,330
It... It... It's a... It's
a black-only polo club.
402
00:13:31,398 --> 00:13:32,965
See, my... my... my grandparents...
403
00:13:33,033 --> 00:13:38,103
They... They founded the first
black bank back in, ooh, 1979?
404
00:13:38,171 --> 00:13:41,307
You know, it's called Johnson Mutual.
405
00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:42,842
You know, we had Ben Vereen
406
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:46,245
and... and... and Scatman
Crothers as our ambassadors.
407
00:13:46,313 --> 00:13:49,114
Yeah, yeah, we have old black money.
408
00:13:49,182 --> 00:13:50,850
- Hmm.
- Aunt Jemima old black money.
409
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:51,917
- Okay.
- It's dusty.
410
00:13:51,985 --> 00:13:53,185
- Right.
- Yeah, you know,
411
00:13:53,253 --> 00:13:54,386
but we don't really talk about that.
412
00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:55,921
You know, that's, uh That's gauch-ay.
413
00:13:56,990 --> 00:13:57,923
- Right.
- Yeah.
414
00:13:57,991 --> 00:13:59,124
Are you okay, Dre?
415
00:13:59,192 --> 00:14:00,192
Yes!
416
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:01,660
Would you excuse me for a second?
417
00:14:01,728 --> 00:14:02,695
Uh, be right back.
418
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:04,330
Sure.
419
00:14:04,397 --> 00:14:06,131
Hey. Oh.
420
00:14:06,199 --> 00:14:07,800
Mystery solved.
421
00:14:07,868 --> 00:14:10,269
The girls told me Jack did it.
422
00:14:10,337 --> 00:14:13,505
Oh, and you're just gonna
take their word for it?
423
00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:16,228
No!
424
00:14:16,348 --> 00:14:16,955
Oh.
425
00:14:17,075 --> 00:14:21,814
I'm obviously gonna talk to
Jack to make sure that he did it,
426
00:14:21,882 --> 00:14:25,184
which he did, because my kids don't lie.
427
00:14:25,252 --> 00:14:26,585
Mm-hmm.
428
00:14:26,653 --> 00:14:29,655
I mean, except for in this
instance, w-which he did.
429
00:14:29,723 --> 00:14:32,358
But he's... He's about
to tell me the truth.
430
00:14:33,593 --> 00:14:34,894
Hmph!
431
00:14:36,930 --> 00:14:38,231
Hmm...
432
00:14:38,351 --> 00:14:40,652
Ooh! Ooh! Oh, hey.
433
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,020
Where's your sink?
434
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:43,688
Oh, yeah, it's right down
the hallway in the bathroom.
435
00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:44,856
What did you think
436
00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:48,059
of my Moroccan humidor back there, huh?
437
00:14:50,663 --> 00:14:51,930
Why do we have to leave?
438
00:14:51,997 --> 00:14:54,032
We were halfway through
the new "Lego Movie."
439
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,500
Because everything is
not awesome, all right?
440
00:14:55,568 --> 00:14:56,668
We had to get up out of there.
441
00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:58,269
Those people are bad... liars.
442
00:14:58,337 --> 00:15:00,004
And they're probably gonna lie to you
443
00:15:00,072 --> 00:15:02,040
about an innocent mistake
that I didn't make.
444
00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:03,708
Dad, what are you talking about?
445
00:15:03,776 --> 00:15:05,543
They are bad people with bad values
446
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,712
and misleading porcelain chairs.
447
00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:10,482
For God's sake, who would leave
magazines right next to it?!
448
00:15:10,549 --> 00:15:11,850
Did you use the bathroom in...
449
00:15:11,917 --> 00:15:13,151
You have changed!
450
00:15:13,219 --> 00:15:16,554
Because the old Junior
would not accuse me of that.
451
00:15:17,723 --> 00:15:19,491
They were gonna keep you as a pet, son.
452
00:15:19,558 --> 00:15:21,025
Didn't you see "The Toy"?
453
00:15:21,093 --> 00:15:22,160
I saved your life.
454
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:27,368
Hey.
455
00:15:27,488 --> 00:15:28,586
What are you doing home?
456
00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:29,913
I hate Dad!
457
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,215
Well, that I can understand.
458
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,077
What happened, Dre?
459
00:15:34,197 --> 00:15:38,131
He is embarrassed by his
father for no apparent reason.
460
00:15:38,251 --> 00:15:38,968
Hmm.
461
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,236
No reason.
462
00:15:41,015 --> 00:15:41,677
Well...
463
00:15:48,746 --> 00:15:51,881
Oh, my God.
464
00:15:51,949 --> 00:15:54,117
Oh.
465
00:15:54,185 --> 00:15:56,753
Okay, Dre, how could you
possibly mistake that for...
466
00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:58,555
Look, you weren't there, okay?
467
00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:00,523
Well, now you're gonna
have to kill yourself.
468
00:16:01,659 --> 00:16:04,227
I should have never let
him hang with those kids.
469
00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:06,516
What does that have to do with anything?
470
00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:09,305
Because now that he's seen that
world, he's gonna be embarrassed by me.
471
00:16:09,373 --> 00:16:13,242
Look, when I was 15,
472
00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:15,511
I walked this girl,
Valerie Emmett, home.
473
00:16:15,579 --> 00:16:16,879
Her family was rich,
474
00:16:16,947 --> 00:16:20,649
and they had this fancy house
in this fancy neighborhood.
475
00:16:20,717 --> 00:16:25,254
Her mother opened the door in
a Chanel suit, wearing pearls.
476
00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:26,622
My first thought was,
477
00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:29,425
"I can never show her where I live."
478
00:16:34,765 --> 00:16:37,533
I suddenly became embarrassed
by where I was from.
479
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:41,470
Dre, your mother's
fashion choices, beliefs,
480
00:16:41,538 --> 00:16:43,672
and personality aside...
481
00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:46,609
you had nothing to be ashamed of.
482
00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:48,477
Plus, we put Junior in that school
483
00:16:48,545 --> 00:16:50,846
so that he could see a lot
of different points of view.
484
00:16:50,914 --> 00:16:53,883
It doesn't mean he's gonna lose his own.
485
00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,017
You're right.
486
00:16:55,085 --> 00:16:56,852
But how's he gonna admire me?
487
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,889
I don't have anything
prehistoric to put my gum in.
488
00:16:59,956 --> 00:17:01,057
You will one day.
489
00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:03,692
Okay.
490
00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:09,532
Mom's got you doing trash as punishment?
491
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,368
Yeah. It's so heavy.
492
00:17:12,436 --> 00:17:14,503
- Well, sucks for you, homey.
- Dude.
493
00:17:14,571 --> 00:17:16,705
Yeah, it does suck because
I didn't even do it.
494
00:17:16,773 --> 00:17:18,707
Then, wait... why'd you say you did?
495
00:17:18,775 --> 00:17:21,010
I didn't want you to miss
out on the Kanye concert,
496
00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:23,145
and didn't want you
to miss out on revenge.
497
00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:26,048
I thought if I confessed,
Mom would forgive me.
498
00:17:26,116 --> 00:17:28,818
I guess I'm just dumb.
499
00:17:28,885 --> 00:17:31,353
Dumb, clumsy Jack.
500
00:17:31,421 --> 00:17:32,721
Mm-hmm.
501
00:17:32,789 --> 00:17:35,891
You know what? Let us help you.
502
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,726
You need to go rest your leg.
503
00:17:37,794 --> 00:17:38,694
Really?
504
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:39,895
Mm-hmm.
505
00:17:39,963 --> 00:17:41,063
I guess so.
506
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:42,765
Thank you, guys.
507
00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:44,233
You're the best.
508
00:17:44,301 --> 00:17:45,935
Careful with that one.
509
00:17:46,002 --> 00:17:47,770
It's full of fish guts.
510
00:17:47,838 --> 00:17:49,505
See, look at that.
511
00:17:49,573 --> 00:17:52,174
See how they're helping their brother?
512
00:17:52,242 --> 00:17:54,343
You know, maybe I don't do it like you,
513
00:17:54,411 --> 00:17:56,745
but what do I know?
514
00:17:56,813 --> 00:18:02,084
I'm just a mother of four
kind, trustworthy, honest kids.
515
00:18:02,152 --> 00:18:05,054
If he's so honest, then why...
516
00:18:05,122 --> 00:18:06,789
Why is he not limping anymore?
517
00:18:06,857 --> 00:18:09,058
Let me break it down for you.
518
00:18:09,126 --> 00:18:10,960
First...
519
00:18:13,096 --> 00:18:14,763
He broke the glass.
520
00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:17,633
Then...
521
00:18:17,701 --> 00:18:18,801
Kids!
522
00:18:18,869 --> 00:18:19,969
Who broke this?!
523
00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:22,738
He had to paint himself as sympathetic.
524
00:18:22,806 --> 00:18:23,873
Ohh!
525
00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:25,875
Ohh! My ankle!
526
00:18:25,942 --> 00:18:27,276
- Ohh!
- Jack did it.
527
00:18:27,344 --> 00:18:28,277
He told us.
528
00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:29,578
Smashed it right up.
529
00:18:29,646 --> 00:18:31,247
Then he found out
530
00:18:31,314 --> 00:18:33,582
his partners threw him under the bus.
531
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:35,584
So he made a plan to confess.
532
00:18:35,652 --> 00:18:36,952
I knocked it off the cabinet?
533
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:38,587
You're doing the right thing.
534
00:18:38,655 --> 00:18:43,659
But then he filled up trash bags
with fish guts to make them pay.
535
00:18:43,727 --> 00:18:46,729
Oh!
536
00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:49,665
And he thought he got away with it.
537
00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:52,401
If you knew the whole time,
538
00:18:52,469 --> 00:18:54,637
then why didn't you just
crack his ass the old way?
539
00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:56,772
Well, I had a hunch,
but I couldn't prove it.
540
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,908
I mean, if I investigated
every cold case around here,
541
00:18:58,975 --> 00:19:00,442
I'd never get to enjoy my kids.
542
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:04,780
So can we have a little less
"Hmph!" and a lot more "Huh!"?
543
00:19:04,848 --> 00:19:05,915
I'll try.
544
00:19:05,982 --> 00:19:07,183
Okay.
545
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,751
I can't make any promises
about my side-eye.
546
00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:09,818
No, no, no.
547
00:19:09,886 --> 00:19:10,920
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
548
00:19:10,987 --> 00:19:12,254
I...
549
00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:13,522
It wasn't me!
550
00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:14,723
You're grounded!
551
00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:18,327
Aah! My plantar fasciitis!
552
00:19:18,395 --> 00:19:19,528
Aah! Aah! Aah!
553
00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:24,767
Help!
554
00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:27,703
Hey.
555
00:19:27,771 --> 00:19:28,771
Hey.
556
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:33,976
Oh, Dad, that's a
chair and only a chair.
557
00:19:34,044 --> 00:19:36,779
Look, I'm sorry I yanked
you out of that house, son.
558
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:38,881
But look, the thing is,
559
00:19:38,949 --> 00:19:42,284
there are gonna be people
who have more than you.
560
00:19:42,352 --> 00:19:45,688
But the trick is to not
get freaked out by it.
561
00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:49,225
Are you talking to me
or talking to yourself?
562
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,362
Myself, I guess.
563
00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:57,199
You are my son, so I
assume you're just like me,
564
00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:59,835
except you're a lot smarter than I am.
565
00:19:59,903 --> 00:20:02,004
- And a lot less insecure.
- Uh...
566
00:20:02,072 --> 00:20:04,039
And I can tell what's a
chair and what's a toilet.
567
00:20:04,107 --> 00:20:05,975
Okay, look, son...
568
00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:10,312
I don't ever want you to feel
that I'm not enough for you.
569
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:13,148
Dad, don't worry.
570
00:20:13,216 --> 00:20:15,217
You're enough.
571
00:20:15,285 --> 00:20:16,385
Mm.
572
00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:18,887
And if I'm being honest,
probably too much.
573
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:21,390
Mom and I talk about it a lot.
574
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:23,826
Sometimes, it's all we talk about.
575
00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:25,661
I am a lot.
576
00:20:25,729 --> 00:20:26,996
You are.
577
00:20:28,131 --> 00:20:33,535
We can never go back there, you know?
578
00:20:33,603 --> 00:20:35,704
I know.
579
00:20:35,772 --> 00:20:37,673
I know.
580
00:20:39,142 --> 00:20:40,342
Ohh.
581
00:20:40,410 --> 00:20:41,610
My bad.
582
00:20:42,431 --> 00:20:43,049
Yeah.
583
00:20:43,354 --> 00:20:45,990
Anything you want for
breakfast, you can have.
584
00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:47,481
- Anything?
- Anything.
585
00:20:47,601 --> 00:20:51,684
Okay, uh, poached quail
egg with brioche and mango.
586
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,519
- Oh. Uh, uh, uh...
- would also like...
587
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:55,521
I was kind of hoping that
you would say "cereal."
588
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,089
- Oh. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
589
00:20:57,157 --> 00:20:58,424
Uh, so, Apple Jacks.
590
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,960
- Or...?
- Rai-i-i-i-
591
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,194
Raisin Bran.
592
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,629
- Ah!
- Great!
593
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,465
- With milk.
- Or...?
594
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:09,635
So this really only works
if I said dry Raisin Bran.
595
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:10,970
Ah! Excellent choice! Hold on.
596
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,538
Let me grab that for you.
597
00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:14,740
Just like at Wes' house.
598
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,477
Hmm.
599
00:21:19,429 --> 00:21:20,564
Synced and corrected by OussLP
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