1
00:00:00,477 --> 00:00:04,016
Lately, there have been some
changes around the Johnson household.
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:05,039
Babe.
3
00:00:05,159 --> 00:00:06,113
Ah, hey, baby.
4
00:00:06,181 --> 00:00:07,548
Yeah, hey.
5
00:00:07,615 --> 00:00:09,116
I've been thinking, you
know, with you being pregnant,
6
00:00:09,184 --> 00:00:11,819
maybe you should take it
easy, focus on you and my baby.
7
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,353
Why you keep saying "my," Dre?
8
00:00:13,421 --> 00:00:15,322
You know we haven't
gotten the swab back yet.
9
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,191
You know I do not like
it when you make that joke
10
00:00:17,258 --> 00:00:19,793
because the subtext is
you're cheating on me.
11
00:00:19,861 --> 00:00:21,228
- Subtext?
- I...
12
00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:23,831
I was going to say maybe
you should take some time off
13
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because you worked so hard
14
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during all of your other pregnancies.
15
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Well, that's really sweet,
but can we afford it?
16
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,138
We'll figure it out.
17
00:00:31,206 --> 00:00:33,207
I'm pretty sure the layoffs
at work are behind us.
18
00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:33,875
Oh.
19
00:00:34,261 --> 00:00:36,654
Well, this brings me
great sadness to do this,
20
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especially since you grabbed
me this delicious Egg McMuffin
21
00:00:40,392 --> 00:00:43,561
on your drive into work,
but I really have no choice.
22
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Lucy... we're laying you off.
23
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What? S-Seriously?
24
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,435
Oh, my... oh, my God.
25
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Okay, that was a big lie.
26
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Whew!
27
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God, you got me going.
28
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Good one.
29
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It, uh, it didn't
bring me great sadness,
30
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but you are still laid off.
31
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That part was true.
32
00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,216
What the hell is going on?
33
00:01:03,283 --> 00:01:05,117
- I thought the layoffs were over.
- Oh, no, no, no.
34
00:01:05,185 --> 00:01:07,019
The tighter the ship,
the bigger the profits.
35
00:01:07,087 --> 00:01:10,056
Besides, Daphne really hates Lucy.
36
00:01:10,123 --> 00:01:12,157
What?! We're getting our
nails done together at lunch.
37
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Well, that's gonna be awkward.
38
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Now, turning to Charlie.
39
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So, that's what's up?
40
00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:20,150
You brought me back
here so you can fire me?
41
00:01:20,218 --> 00:01:22,486
You think by telling me in
front of all these people,
42
00:01:22,554 --> 00:01:23,854
you think I ain't gonna make a scene?
43
00:01:23,922 --> 00:01:26,723
All I got left is my God and my goatee!
44
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Aaah!
45
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Hey, Charlie!
46
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No.
47
00:01:33,131 --> 00:01:34,465
Charlie.
48
00:01:35,546 --> 00:01:37,314
Calm down, Charlie!
49
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Aah!
50
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:39,683
Oh, no, no, no.
51
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,218
Ugh.
52
00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:42,319
Aaah!
53
00:01:42,386 --> 00:01:45,388
Charlie, you are not fired, okay?!
54
00:01:45,456 --> 00:01:48,692
I was actually gonna say good
job on the Forever 21 campaign.
55
00:01:48,759 --> 00:01:51,473
Actually, that was me.
56
00:01:51,593 --> 00:01:52,526
Oh, that was a good job.
57
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I've seen it everywhere.
58
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On buses, schools.
It's all over the place.
59
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Really nice work there, Lucy.
60
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:58,193
Okay.
61
00:01:58,313 --> 00:02:00,147
Well, now that that is taken care of,
62
00:02:00,215 --> 00:02:02,917
it is time for birthday announcements.
63
00:02:02,984 --> 00:02:06,086
Oh, well, looks like
we're not just celebrating
64
00:02:06,154 --> 00:02:07,421
Lucy's last day.
65
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Happy bir... Come on.
66
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Come on, guys, help me out.
67
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Happy... scootchies
68
00:02:14,098 --> 00:02:15,596
Happy birthday...
69
00:02:15,664 --> 00:02:18,098
Jo-Josh, I was just fired, okay?
70
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:20,434
Oh. Um...
71
00:02:20,502 --> 00:02:22,937
I-I'm sorry. I'll ju... I'll just...
72
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No, you don't have to...
73
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,142
So slow. Oh, for God...
74
00:02:28,209 --> 00:02:29,009
No, no, make a wish!
75
00:02:29,077 --> 00:02:30,377
Make a wish!
76
00:02:30,445 --> 00:02:32,179
And sometimes, change isn't great...
77
00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:33,180
That's yummy.
78
00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:34,381
Especially if you're Lucy.
79
00:02:34,449 --> 00:02:35,616
It makes you wonder who's next.
80
00:02:35,684 --> 00:02:36,582
Do you want a corner?
81
00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:37,605
No, no, no, I want the corner.
82
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Give her something in the middle.
83
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
84
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Hey, baby, how was your day?
85
00:02:46,704 --> 00:02:48,638
Uh, not good. I actually had to s...
86
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Good.
87
00:02:49,874 --> 00:02:51,708
Listen, you're never going to believe
88
00:02:51,776 --> 00:02:53,777
what happened to me at
my doctor's appointment.
89
00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:58,148
Dr. Gonzales told me that
I have a geriatric womb.
90
00:02:58,216 --> 00:02:59,750
Uh, to your face?
91
00:02:59,817 --> 00:03:01,651
Told me that I'm of
advanced maternal age.
92
00:03:01,719 --> 00:03:03,153
- To your face?!
- Yes.
93
00:03:03,221 --> 00:03:04,454
Oh, baby, come here.
94
00:03:04,522 --> 00:03:05,489
It was awful.
95
00:03:05,556 --> 00:03:06,590
Relax, baby.
96
00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:07,958
Just means your wife's uterus is old.
97
00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:08,959
What?
98
00:03:09,026 --> 00:03:09,960
Thank you, Ruby.
99
00:03:10,027 --> 00:03:11,762
Like "Antique Road Show" old.
100
00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:13,497
Like probably watches
"Murder, She Wrote"
101
00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:14,931
and has a landline old!
102
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Mama! We get it.
103
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That's crazy.
104
00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:20,003
Look at her.
105
00:03:20,071 --> 00:03:22,572
She is a beautiful, vibrant,
curvy, vivacious young woman.
106
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,408
Hey, hey, pump your brakes, Pops.
107
00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:27,277
Not only is this my wife...
108
00:03:27,345 --> 00:03:28,812
but she is asleep.
109
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Bow!
110
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Huh? Oh, my God.
111
00:03:31,215 --> 00:03:32,949
I'm so exhausted.
112
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,152
Dre, m-maybe I should
take that time off.
113
00:03:35,219 --> 00:03:37,087
Really?
114
00:03:37,155 --> 00:03:38,555
Well
115
00:03:38,623 --> 00:03:40,190
I think you taking some time
off is a good idea, sweetheart.
116
00:03:40,258 --> 00:03:42,092
And stand-up move on your part, son,
117
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letting your wife kick her feet up
118
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while you hold your
family down like a man.
119
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Mm-hmm. I agree.
120
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Her body obviously needs rest.
121
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Well... Look at her.
122
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She's falling apart.
123
00:03:52,069 --> 00:03:53,537
- Okay.
- Listen here, son.
124
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There's a good chance I
may have to carry this baby,
125
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and I'm willing to do it.
126
00:03:57,542 --> 00:04:00,811
The doctors say I have the
uterus of a 16-year-old Latina.
127
00:04:00,878 --> 00:04:02,179
Uh...
128
00:04:02,246 --> 00:04:03,847
Mmm, smells good, Grandma.
129
00:04:03,915 --> 00:04:05,816
Mmm, what's on the menu?
130
00:04:05,883 --> 00:04:09,686
Well, it's Ruby Tuesday,
so you know what that means.
131
00:04:09,754 --> 00:04:11,721
Another gravy-heavy experience.
132
00:04:11,789 --> 00:04:13,523
Dad, you need to make the down payment
133
00:04:13,591 --> 00:04:15,325
for my summer trip abroad.
134
00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:17,561
And we need new bow and
arrows for "Hunger Games" camp.
135
00:04:17,628 --> 00:04:19,563
We're sending them to
"Hunger Games" camp?
136
00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:21,698
Isn't that ex... violent?
137
00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:23,533
I don't know, and I don't care.
138
00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:26,369
All I know is they take
them away for two weeks
139
00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:27,571
and I don't see them.
140
00:04:29,073 --> 00:04:31,074
That's a lucky baby in
that dusty womb of yours.
141
00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:33,743
Oh, and don't forget my
deposit for summer school.
142
00:04:33,811 --> 00:04:35,412
Didn't you get straight A's?
143
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,815
Yeah, but this is
Advanced Summer Wizardry.
144
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:42,185
My sorcery coach says I might
actually be a real wizard.
145
00:04:42,253 --> 00:04:43,854
Really?
146
00:04:43,921 --> 00:04:45,689
So, while everyone was excited
about their time off from work
147
00:04:45,756 --> 00:04:48,492
and expensive summer plans,
148
00:04:48,559 --> 00:04:50,594
I decided to drown my worries
149
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:53,663
in some biscuits and
gravy and classic TV.
150
00:04:53,731 --> 00:04:56,900
Get cozy for an all-night marathon
151
00:04:56,968 --> 00:04:59,102
of your favorite '70s Chicago sitcom.
152
00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:00,237
That's right.
153
00:05:00,304 --> 00:05:03,507
Every episode back to back.
154
00:05:05,409 --> 00:05:06,943
There's been an alarming rise
155
00:05:07,011 --> 00:05:08,178
in the unemployment rate
156
00:05:08,246 --> 00:05:10,013
in the black community in Chicago,
157
00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:11,915
hitting highs of 19%.
158
00:05:11,983 --> 00:05:14,684
That ain't news.
159
00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:19,623
- Hey, Thelma.
- Keith.
160
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,124
Baby, I'm so glad you're home.
161
00:05:21,192 --> 00:05:22,359
I, uh...
162
00:05:22,426 --> 00:05:24,127
I got something to show you.
163
00:05:24,195 --> 00:05:25,362
Oh.
164
00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:27,531
What's this, baby?
165
00:05:27,598 --> 00:05:29,633
It's a pregnancy test.
166
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,034
Man.
167
00:05:31,102 --> 00:05:33,637
Technology has come a long way.
168
00:05:34,939 --> 00:05:36,439
Keith...
169
00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:38,441
I'm pregnant.
170
00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:42,879
Are you sure?
171
00:05:42,947 --> 00:05:44,648
Of course I'm sure.
172
00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:48,652
This thing is 26%
accurate 65% of the time.
173
00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:52,656
Keith, how did we let this happen?
174
00:05:52,723 --> 00:05:56,126
Broke, living in the
projects at my parents' house.
175
00:05:59,864 --> 00:06:01,731
I'm just gonna be another statistic.
176
00:06:01,799 --> 00:06:03,800
Hey, hey, hey, baby,
I-I know you're scared.
177
00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:05,235
Hell, I'm scared, too,
178
00:06:05,303 --> 00:06:08,572
and, no, you ain't gonna
be no nother statistic.
179
00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:11,508
Baby, I got my big
football tryouts coming up,
180
00:06:11,576 --> 00:06:14,811
and, hey, when I do go pro,
we're gonna get married.
181
00:06:14,879 --> 00:06:17,080
And... And I'm gonna have enough
money to take care of everybody
182
00:06:17,148 --> 00:06:18,515
and buy a fancy car!
183
00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:20,684
Baby, I'm gonna be an
NFL football player,
184
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:22,619
and they don't ever go broke!
185
00:06:22,687 --> 00:06:23,987
Huh?!
186
00:06:24,055 --> 00:06:25,055
Oh, baby.
187
00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:27,357
Oh, you make me feel so much better.
188
00:06:27,425 --> 00:06:28,358
- Oh.
- Oh.
189
00:06:28,426 --> 00:06:29,659
- And who knows?
- Hmm?
190
00:06:29,727 --> 00:06:31,261
Maybe Daddy won't be mad.
191
00:06:32,106 --> 00:06:33,587
That don't sound right.
192
00:06:34,956 --> 00:06:36,089
J.J.?
193
00:06:38,192 --> 00:06:39,059
Uh, 'tis I.
194
00:06:40,294 --> 00:06:42,295
Didn't we tell you about eavesdropping?
195
00:06:42,363 --> 00:06:44,264
You told me, but I
think it's safe to say
196
00:06:44,332 --> 00:06:46,099
I didn't give a damn.
197
00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,550
Until we decide how we're
gonna tell Daddy the news,
198
00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,085
you keep your big ol' mouth shut.
199
00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:52,754
As long as you let me be
there when you tell him.
200
00:06:52,822 --> 00:06:55,490
I ain't never painted
a murder scene before.
201
00:06:57,493 --> 00:07:01,396
Damn! You ain't gonna believe
what happened to me today.
202
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:02,998
You got your paycheck cut in half?
203
00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:04,433
They doubled your workload?
204
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,168
The cops hassled you on the way home?
205
00:07:06,235 --> 00:07:08,103
No, I found a really good parking spot
206
00:07:08,171 --> 00:07:09,571
in front of the building.
207
00:07:09,639 --> 00:07:13,909
Man, you people have an incredibly
fatalistic outlook on life.
208
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,845
Hey, Mrs. Evans. Hey, Michael.
209
00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:18,947
Hey, what's going on?
210
00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:22,050
I just left the principal's office.
211
00:07:22,118 --> 00:07:24,719
Apparently, your son staged a walk-out
212
00:07:24,839 --> 00:07:25,939
for the school lunch monitors.
213
00:07:26,006 --> 00:07:27,507
They got us down there busing tables
214
00:07:27,575 --> 00:07:28,842
and washing trays for cheap.
215
00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:30,477
Then tell them what happened.
216
00:07:30,544 --> 00:07:32,912
Julio and his cousin Julio
217
00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:35,915
said that they'd do our
job for half the pay.
218
00:07:35,983 --> 00:07:37,350
What?!
219
00:07:37,418 --> 00:07:39,986
If he thinks that Mexicans are
gonna come do the dirty work
220
00:07:40,054 --> 00:07:41,855
that black folks do for less money,
221
00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:43,213
he's got another thing coming.
222
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,377
Mm-hmm.
223
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:45,230
Hey, hey.
224
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,431
You keep fighting for the
people like you are, man,
225
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,466
you might just become
our first black president.
226
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,435
Yeah, but not in these
United States of America.
227
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:51,603
Oh, unh-unh.
228
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:52,704
No, 'cause that ain't
never gonna happen.
229
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,039
Not ever, ever.
230
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,740
Ever, ever, ever, ever!
231
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,076
Now he's got no job.
232
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,444
I had to leave mine early
233
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,746
and walk 30 blocks to
get him from school.
234
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,281
Got attacked by a dog.
235
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:07,219
Would've lost my big toe had
the sugar not already taken it.
236
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:08,453
Mm!
237
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,554
Oh, well.
238
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,623
Tomorrow's gonna be a better day.
239
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:15,560
Tomorrow might be a better day,
but not nine months from now.
240
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:17,262
Hey. Be cool, fool.
241
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,463
I am cool.
242
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,499
She's the one in heat.
243
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,468
Oh, thank goodness for you, baby girl.
244
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,836
Once you finish college,
245
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,606
you're gonna make everything
right for this family.
246
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,808
I disagree.
247
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,277
Sorry.
248
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,679
I don't know why I said that.
249
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,482
Even though she's my daughter,
250
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,652
I feel much more of
a kinship with Keith.
251
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,088
Oh. Thank you, Mrs. Evans.
252
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,257
No, baby, call me Mama.
253
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,524
Well, Mama, I...
254
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,026
- Unh-unh.
- Oh.
255
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,861
You call me Mrs. Evans.
256
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,230
Uh-oh.
257
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:55,600
Almost forgot my evening
turtleneck in the dryer.
258
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:59,804
I got me a hot blind date
with a fine young tender.
259
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,975
I think it's safe to assume that
all your dates are blind, J.J.
260
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,610
- Hey.
- Hey.
261
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,612
Hey, Wilona. Hey, Penny.
262
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,814
Hey, J.J. Sorry we're late.
263
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:10,929
Everybody's late around here.
264
00:09:12,748 --> 00:09:14,549
How can you be late?
You weren't invited.
265
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:16,084
Nice to see you, too, friend.
266
00:09:16,152 --> 00:09:18,920
Julio told me that Julio
and Julio stole your job.
267
00:09:18,988 --> 00:09:20,689
Penny, be nice.
268
00:09:20,756 --> 00:09:21,923
That was me being nice.
269
00:09:22,992 --> 00:09:25,293
Are we here in time for gravy?
270
00:09:25,361 --> 00:09:27,929
Can't, Penny. Fresh out of gravy.
271
00:09:27,997 --> 00:09:29,264
Just add more water, Mama.
272
00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:30,699
Can't.
273
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,235
- Fresh out of water.
- What?
274
00:09:33,302 --> 00:09:35,136
I thought Bookman fixed it.
275
00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:39,875
Almost fixed.
276
00:09:39,942 --> 00:09:43,912
12 to 14 hours, and
we'll be halfway there.
277
00:09:48,623 --> 00:09:50,524
Boy, what the hell
happened to your shirt?
278
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,427
Apparently, Bookman fixed the dryer.
279
00:09:53,494 --> 00:09:56,330
So, you want wet water
and a less dry dryer?
280
00:09:56,397 --> 00:09:58,365
You people are so demanding.
281
00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:01,568
Pregnancy test?
282
00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:05,405
You have to take a test to get pregnant?
283
00:10:05,473 --> 00:10:09,543
No, it's a test to see
if you are pregnant.
284
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,946
Really? This tiny little thing?
285
00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:15,382
Well, whose is it?
286
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,084
Well, don't look at me.
287
00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:18,685
Don't look at me.
288
00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:19,653
Don't look at me.
289
00:10:19,721 --> 00:10:21,521
Ain't nobody looking at you, woman!
290
00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:33,325
Mama... Daddy...
291
00:10:33,392 --> 00:10:34,526
I'm pregnant.
292
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,962
Oh, Thelma!
293
00:10:37,029 --> 00:10:39,297
I'm gonna need more red paint.
294
00:10:39,365 --> 00:10:42,033
White Jesus, white Jesus!
295
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:44,235
Why have thou forsaken me?
296
00:10:44,303 --> 00:10:45,804
How did this happen?
297
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:48,640
More importantly, where did this happen?
298
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:51,242
Because there is clearly
only one bed in here
299
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,397
that we all sleep in.
300
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:55,752
Okay, everything is going to be fine.
301
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,621
Boy, do you have the slightest idea
302
00:10:57,689 --> 00:10:59,022
what it means to have a child?
303
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,458
Did you even consider the cost?
304
00:11:01,526 --> 00:11:05,195
The diapers, the formula,
the medical bi... shots.
305
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:06,530
We'll skip the shots.
306
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:08,198
We skipped the shots with J.J.!
307
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:10,634
We'll need the shots. We need the shots.
308
00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:13,837
We already got 82 people
living in this house.
309
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:16,840
We don't need an 83rd,
no matter how small.
310
00:11:16,908 --> 00:11:19,798
And with our luck, it'll
have Thelma's appetite...
311
00:11:19,918 --> 00:11:21,051
and face.
312
00:11:21,119 --> 00:11:23,687
Hey, J.J, can I rap to
you outside for a second?
313
00:11:23,755 --> 00:11:25,122
- Oh, sure.
- Oh, all right.
314
00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:26,724
Hey, man, I was thinking.
315
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:29,059
Once Thelma gives birth to this baby...
316
00:11:31,096 --> 00:11:33,664
All right, look,
everybody, I will be able
317
00:11:33,732 --> 00:11:36,901
to take care of Thelma
and the baby forever.
318
00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:41,238
The NFL takes care of its
players long after they retire.
319
00:11:44,943 --> 00:11:46,410
Hey, Florida.
320
00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:48,145
James, it's midnight.
321
00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:50,247
You're home from work early.
322
00:11:50,315 --> 00:11:52,750
Aw, they wouldn't let me
work a quadruple shift.
323
00:11:54,019 --> 00:11:55,719
Say, what's with all
the empty photo albums?
324
00:11:55,787 --> 00:11:57,655
Oh, I was just sitting here imagining
325
00:11:57,722 --> 00:11:59,924
what our old wedding
photos would've looked like
326
00:11:59,991 --> 00:12:01,892
if we could've afforded a camera.
327
00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:04,528
Look at you, James.
328
00:12:04,596 --> 00:12:05,591
- Look here.
- Look at me.
329
00:12:05,711 --> 00:12:07,427
You remember how nervous you were
330
00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:09,383
when we found out we
were expecting a child?
331
00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:10,603
Ooh!
332
00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,771
Just like Keith,
333
00:12:11,838 --> 00:12:14,407
you had all the hopes
and dreams in the world.
334
00:12:14,474 --> 00:12:16,142
I was never like Keith.
335
00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:18,844
No, I had hopes and
dreams and four jobs.
336
00:12:20,046 --> 00:12:22,281
Hopes and dreams don't feed a family.
337
00:12:22,349 --> 00:12:25,584
Nobody ever asked for a second
helping of hopes and dreams.
338
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,521
James, where you going?
339
00:12:28,588 --> 00:12:31,357
Well, where do you
think I'm going, Florida?
340
00:12:31,425 --> 00:12:33,626
I'm going to work.
341
00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:37,060
Hello?
342
00:12:37,128 --> 00:12:39,529
J.J., some lady for you.
343
00:12:47,171 --> 00:12:48,571
Uh, chello?
344
00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:49,943
Oh, hey, baby.
345
00:12:50,063 --> 00:12:51,330
Keith, how did it go? How were tryouts?
346
00:12:51,398 --> 00:12:52,598
Should've seen me, Thelma.
347
00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:53,933
I took the snap,
348
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,035
and I ran a sweep to the left
and scampered a few yards,
349
00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:58,204
I came up short, then boom,
I turned it to the right,
350
00:12:58,271 --> 00:12:59,538
I took it to the house!
351
00:13:02,175 --> 00:13:05,111
It went really well, guys.
352
00:13:05,178 --> 00:13:07,113
See, James? I told you
Keith was gonna be able
353
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:08,681
to take care of our little girl.
354
00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:10,116
Yeah, well, we'll see about that.
355
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:13,385
I knew everything was
gonna be all right.
356
00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:16,555
Keith is gonna be the next O.J. Simpson.
357
00:13:16,623 --> 00:13:17,690
God willing.
358
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,692
Oh, yeah. God willing.
359
00:13:20,927 --> 00:13:22,661
I'll finish dinner.
360
00:13:22,729 --> 00:13:25,798
Afterwards, we're gonna
try this thing I heard about
361
00:13:25,866 --> 00:13:27,233
called dessert.
362
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,667
What's that?
363
00:13:28,735 --> 00:13:33,139
Well, it's a little meal
white folks have after dinner.
364
00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:34,740
Like breakfast?
365
00:13:34,808 --> 00:13:37,042
Yeah, but But sweet.
366
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,744
Sweet breakfast?
367
00:13:38,812 --> 00:13:40,813
Yeah, but at night.
368
00:13:40,881 --> 00:13:42,047
- Ah.
- Mm-hmm.
369
00:13:42,115 --> 00:13:44,183
- Sweet night breakfast.
- Mm-hmm.
370
00:13:44,251 --> 00:13:46,185
Like sugar eggs.
371
00:13:46,253 --> 00:13:49,155
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
372
00:13:58,298 --> 00:14:01,167
That don't look good.
373
00:14:07,098 --> 00:14:08,765
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
374
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,634
It's the man of the hour!
375
00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:12,402
What are we celebrating?
376
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,437
You, babe, and your success.
377
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:17,374
Now, we know this is mystery meat, baby,
378
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:19,976
but when you make it to the pros,
379
00:14:20,044 --> 00:14:23,246
you're gonna be eating
the finer things of life,
380
00:14:23,314 --> 00:14:25,715
like imitation crab.
381
00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:28,051
Or fresh fruit.
382
00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:30,820
One of these days, I'm
gonna have me a strawberry.
383
00:14:30,888 --> 00:14:33,924
Hey, you guys, I've got
some good news myself.
384
00:14:33,991 --> 00:14:36,293
I am not gonna finish college.
385
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,561
What, Thelma?
386
00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:38,628
No, come on.
387
00:14:38,696 --> 00:14:40,130
I don't even think I need a degree,
388
00:14:40,197 --> 00:14:42,599
with you getting drafted
by the Houston Oilers.
389
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,660
I mean, that franchise is
gonna be around forever.
390
00:14:46,983 --> 00:14:48,216
Hey, Dad, where you been?
391
00:14:48,284 --> 00:14:49,417
Work.
392
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:51,720
Well, maybe when Keith
makes it to the NFL,
393
00:14:51,787 --> 00:14:53,755
you can get rid of one
of those jobs, James.
394
00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,724
Me with only three jobs?
395
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,560
I wouldn't even know what to
do with all that extra time.
396
00:14:59,895 --> 00:15:01,763
Well... Well, how about
you take a day off?
397
00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:03,772
You know, I never imagined
myself with one of those.
398
00:15:03,892 --> 00:15:05,526
That seems like the kind of thing
399
00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:07,495
that only white folks get, like socks.
400
00:15:07,562 --> 00:15:09,029
With all that free time,
401
00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:11,165
you could possibly even take up a hobby.
402
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:12,233
Mm-hmm.
403
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,601
Always did want to try a REM sleep.
404
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:15,503
Now that you've made it big,
405
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:16,773
can you get me a hat
that covers my ears,
406
00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,928
'cause, you know, this
city's really windy.
407
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:21,564
And can I get some art supplies?
408
00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:22,832
Canvasses, paintbrushes.
409
00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:25,334
Will you buy me glasses
with a prescription?
410
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:28,003
I've always wanted to see
what you guys look like.
411
00:15:28,071 --> 00:15:29,405
All right, enough!
412
00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:30,940
Uh, Penny, no.
413
00:15:31,007 --> 00:15:33,776
You're just gonna have to
recognize us by our voices.
414
00:15:33,844 --> 00:15:35,611
Look, I'm not going to the NFL.
415
00:15:35,679 --> 00:15:36,779
Aw.
416
00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:38,547
I hurt my knee at football tryouts.
417
00:15:38,615 --> 00:15:40,416
Th-They tell me I'll never play again.
418
00:15:40,483 --> 00:15:41,684
M-My football career is over.
419
00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:43,419
I told you this guy was a bum!
420
00:15:43,486 --> 00:15:44,620
Daddy.
421
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:46,188
No, no, no, Thelma, your daddy's right.
422
00:15:46,256 --> 00:15:48,123
Look, I-I-I-I don't deserve this.
423
00:15:48,191 --> 00:15:50,292
W-What kind of meat is that, anyway?
424
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,360
It doesn't matter.
425
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,597
You don't deserve it... none of it!
426
00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:55,965
Oh, James.
427
00:15:56,032 --> 00:15:58,234
Damn! Damn! Damn!
428
00:16:03,082 --> 00:16:04,349
Why you got to be so hard on him?
429
00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:05,684
Because he's a bum.
430
00:16:05,752 --> 00:16:09,821
I thought I was clear when I
said, "Keith, you're a bum!"
431
00:16:09,889 --> 00:16:11,290
You know what?
432
00:16:11,357 --> 00:16:15,027
You remember this handsome
young man on his wedding day?
433
00:16:15,094 --> 00:16:19,798
You know, when his dreams
didn't pan out, he made it work.
434
00:16:19,866 --> 00:16:21,300
I haven't had a dream in 30 years.
435
00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:22,834
How could I? I haven't slept!
436
00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:27,372
I don't want our kids to
struggle like we did, Florida.
437
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,074
Damn it.
438
00:16:29,142 --> 00:16:32,077
I want our kids to
have better than we did.
439
00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:34,627
I want them to have an album
filled with actual pictures.
440
00:16:34,747 --> 00:16:36,514
I want that, too.
441
00:16:36,582 --> 00:16:37,949
But until then,
442
00:16:38,017 --> 00:16:40,876
we got to have faith that Keith
will work it out like you did.
443
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,598
What those kids need
right now is our support.
444
00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:49,570
Y'all, I'm sorry I'm such a failure.
445
00:16:49,638 --> 00:16:52,573
I only had one dream my
whole life, and now it's over.
446
00:16:52,641 --> 00:16:54,975
A-And because of me,
this family's gonna remain
447
00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:57,912
poor, black, and strawberry-less.
448
00:16:59,247 --> 00:17:00,514
Listen, son, I understand
what you're going through.
449
00:17:00,582 --> 00:17:02,116
It's a struggle to raise a family.
450
00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:06,320
But the good news is, you
don't have to do it alone.
451
00:17:06,388 --> 00:17:07,488
That's right.
452
00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:08,489
Really?
453
00:17:08,556 --> 00:17:10,057
Yeah, we're here to help you.
454
00:17:10,125 --> 00:17:12,493
Listen, man, I was gonna take
one of my sweet thangs out
455
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:18,499
for a fine-dining extravaganza,
but you can have those $3.
456
00:17:20,568 --> 00:17:22,636
And I can give you this
month's foster-care money
457
00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:23,671
for Penny and her sister.
458
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:24,672
Uh
459
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,507
Uh, Penny doesn't have a sister.
460
00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:28,842
Do you want the money or not?
461
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:32,264
Hey, hey, y'all, thank
you, but I'll get by.
462
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,717
Look, I'm just sorry
463
00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:35,586
I couldn't help you fulfill
your dream of sleeping.
464
00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:37,554
Or seeing.
465
00:17:37,622 --> 00:17:39,490
It's okay. I can still hear.
466
00:17:39,557 --> 00:17:41,825
Yeah, don't worry about it.
467
00:17:41,893 --> 00:17:44,395
Being poor, black, and tired
is all we've ever known.
468
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,996
Hmm.
469
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,046
Oh. Oh.
470
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:47,649
Oh, wow.
471
00:17:47,769 --> 00:17:49,303
Did you forget to pay the power bill?
472
00:17:49,371 --> 00:17:51,005
Forgetting's for rich folks.
473
00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,072
We're just broke.
474
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,208
Ah.
475
00:17:54,275 --> 00:17:56,877
Well, tomorrow's gonna be a better day.
476
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,679
- Mm.
- Dy-no-mite.
477
00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:08,322
Good evening. I'm James Earl Jones.
478
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:10,524
Welcome to "Black Omnibus."
479
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:15,162
Tonight, we discuss the height
of the Latin jazz movement
480
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:18,879
with famed percussionist Willie Bobo.
481
00:18:18,999 --> 00:18:21,100
Well, well, well, well, well.
482
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,401
Look who's alive.
483
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,739
That gravy nap really set me back.
484
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,174
Nap?
485
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,409
Dre, seriously, you've been
asleep for like 12 hours.
486
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,010
Oh, my... Look at you.
487
00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:34,331
- Oh, my God.
- I was?
488
00:18:34,399 --> 00:18:35,766
Man, I must really be stressed
489
00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:37,901
about the baby and that new
round of layoffs at work.
490
00:18:37,969 --> 00:18:39,069
Another round?
491
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:41,171
Sweetie, I thought
you said that was over.
492
00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:44,174
Ugh, I thought they were,
but it doesn't matter.
493
00:18:44,242 --> 00:18:46,510
Hey, hey, hey, it's okay...
494
00:18:47,579 --> 00:18:50,514
Because I just had a great dream.
495
00:18:50,582 --> 00:18:54,251
It made me realize
that it doesn't matter
496
00:18:54,319 --> 00:18:57,388
if we have less money or more kids
497
00:18:57,455 --> 00:18:59,723
as long as we are together.
498
00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:01,025
Dad?
499
00:19:01,092 --> 00:19:02,092
Yep?
500
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,694
If you're really worried about money,
501
00:19:03,762 --> 00:19:05,362
I don't have to go on that trip.
502
00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:07,398
Yeah, and if I'm really a wizard,
503
00:19:07,465 --> 00:19:10,401
we'll never have to
worry about money again.
504
00:19:11,469 --> 00:19:12,736
Or dragons.
505
00:19:12,804 --> 00:19:14,271
Oh. There he is.
506
00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:16,440
You're welcome to some of my allowance.
507
00:19:16,508 --> 00:19:18,742
I mean, it's not much,
but that's on you.
508
00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:20,344
Ah, touché.
509
00:19:26,017 --> 00:19:27,251
Don't look at me.
510
00:19:27,318 --> 00:19:29,386
I'm still learning how to share.
511
00:19:29,454 --> 00:19:30,320
You know what? Me, too.
512
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:31,871
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
513
00:19:32,685 --> 00:19:34,608
Aww. Ah, babe, look at us. Look at that.
514
00:19:34,676 --> 00:19:35,409
That was the beginning.
515
00:19:35,477 --> 00:19:36,911
Aren't we cute?
516
00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:39,280
Whoa.
517
00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:40,748
What's wrong with your eyes?
518
00:19:40,816 --> 00:19:42,349
Are you a demon?
519
00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:43,818
No, no, no, no, no. It's called red eye.
520
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:45,419
We didn't have anything to fix it then.
521
00:19:45,487 --> 00:19:47,121
Also, she's a demon.
522
00:19:47,189 --> 00:19:48,122
Uh.
523
00:19:48,190 --> 00:19:49,323
Aww, look at that.
524
00:19:49,391 --> 00:19:50,491
Look, you're so cute.
525
00:19:50,559 --> 00:19:52,259
Ugh. That was my awkward phase.
526
00:19:52,327 --> 00:19:54,295
Burn it.
527
00:19:54,362 --> 00:19:55,463
Hey, look at this one.
528
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,665
It's a picture of Junior
in his awkward phase.
529
00:19:57,732 --> 00:19:59,500
I was a baby.
530
00:19:59,568 --> 00:20:00,534
Hey, y'all want to see an awkward baby?
531
00:20:00,602 --> 00:20:02,436
- Yes, please.
- Mm-hmm.
532
00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,338
- Look at this here. This is Dre.
- No way.
533
00:20:04,406 --> 00:20:05,873
- Ohhh!
- Ohhh!
534
00:20:05,941 --> 00:20:07,942
Look at that head. Doctor told
us he was gonna grow into it.
535
00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:09,677
We're still waiting, son.
536
00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:11,111
- Same size.
- Same size.
537
00:20:11,179 --> 00:20:12,680
Looks like a watermelon.
538
00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:14,181
So big.
539
00:20:14,249 --> 00:20:16,250
So you carry my picture around, huh?
540
00:20:17,385 --> 00:20:19,320
It came with the wallet.
541
00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:21,522
Okay.
542
00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:22,656
Come on. Turn the page, boy.
543
00:20:22,724 --> 00:20:24,391
Earl.
544
00:20:24,459 --> 00:20:25,726
I don't know.
545
00:20:25,794 --> 00:20:27,661
I don't even remember, where is this?
546
00:20:27,729 --> 00:20:28,863
Where did this happen?
547
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:29,737
Yeah, where's this at?