1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,200 Previously on iZombie... 2 00:00:03,293 --> 00:00:04,345 You think you can cure this? 3 00:00:04,346 --> 00:00:05,980 You are expecting to stay like this forever? 4 00:00:05,982 --> 00:00:07,848 So you're using the rats in search for a cure? 5 00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:09,016 Have you guys seen my friend? 6 00:00:09,018 --> 00:00:10,251 Brother, I just saw him. 7 00:00:10,253 --> 00:00:11,485 We'll have you to him in no time. 8 00:00:11,487 --> 00:00:13,354 Major found the Candyman and someone else. 9 00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:15,489 He thinks they're responsible for the missing kids. 10 00:00:15,491 --> 00:00:18,079 Major is not gonna let this go. He'll go after them. 11 00:00:19,071 --> 00:00:20,472 Whoa! 12 00:00:21,217 --> 00:00:22,822 Look, that's him, the Candyman. 13 00:00:22,824 --> 00:00:25,434 He's got a human brain in that ice chest right there! 14 00:00:28,142 --> 00:00:31,461 A little thank you for the Seattle Observer article. 15 00:00:34,221 --> 00:00:35,401 Yes. 16 00:00:36,817 --> 00:00:37,997 Yes. 17 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:39,583 Yes. 18 00:00:40,618 --> 00:00:41,650 Oh! No. 19 00:00:41,652 --> 00:00:43,084 No. 20 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,591 No! Aieee! 21 00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:47,889 Ow! I forgot the safe word. What's the safe word? 22 00:00:47,891 --> 00:00:50,260 Kelly Clarkson! Ping pong! 23 00:00:50,262 --> 00:00:52,234 Ah! Ah, yes. 24 00:00:52,902 --> 00:00:54,163 That's better. 25 00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:56,367 That's the ticket. 26 00:00:57,002 --> 00:00:58,310 That's a good boy. 27 00:00:59,516 --> 00:01:02,607 Your reward in the kingdom of heaven will be great. 28 00:01:02,632 --> 00:01:03,404 Enough. 29 00:01:06,148 --> 00:01:08,018 Just relax. 30 00:01:09,794 --> 00:01:10,947 Breathe into it. 31 00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:13,379 I'd forgotten what it was like to be touched. 32 00:01:13,381 --> 00:01:15,515 This foot-rub dessert is tasty. 33 00:01:15,517 --> 00:01:18,124 The main course was... 34 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,855 Do you need to grab that very early phone call? 35 00:01:29,936 --> 00:01:33,479 A juicy, mouth-watering thick slab of beef. 36 00:01:33,481 --> 00:01:36,983 "Life" or whatever we zombies agree to call the daily grind, 37 00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:39,792 means being bombarded with almost constant reminders 38 00:01:39,794 --> 00:01:41,460 of the things we can no longer enjoy. 39 00:01:41,462 --> 00:01:43,698 ... dripping with aged cheddar cheese. 40 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:47,703 - Cheeseburgers. - Give the gift of life. Give blood. 41 00:01:47,705 --> 00:01:49,041 A rosy complexion. 42 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,579 Estate planning, the peace of mind that lasts for generations. 43 00:01:51,581 --> 00:01:52,982 Progeny. 44 00:01:52,984 --> 00:01:55,083 Have your assets preserved for your heirs. 45 00:01:55,085 --> 00:01:56,350 Call your friends at... 46 00:01:56,352 --> 00:01:58,483 Sex, on the other hand... 47 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:00,919 Ahhh! 48 00:02:01,118 --> 00:02:02,719 That's back on the menu for this zombie. 49 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,689 ... frequent caller Cheated On In Chattanooga, 50 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:10,929 who thinks her husband might be getting his kicks at another woman's shoe store. 51 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,829 Cheated, what's the 411? 52 00:02:12,831 --> 00:02:14,737 I finally caught 53 00:02:14,762 --> 00:02:16,424 the two of 'em, followed 'em to a hotel. 54 00:02:16,475 --> 00:02:18,947 They were basically dry humping in the lobby. 55 00:02:18,949 --> 00:02:21,581 Cheated, you know I always give it to you straight. 56 00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,714 It's time to cut that man loose. 57 00:02:23,716 --> 00:02:26,046 I'm keepin' my man, Dr. Sasha. 58 00:02:26,048 --> 00:02:29,047 It's the slut he's hooking up with that I'm gonna murder. 59 00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:34,042 I know I talk a lot about self-empowerment, 60 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:36,020 but that doesn't include murder. 61 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,755 Maybe I could get some help from my fellow listeners! 62 00:02:38,757 --> 00:02:41,957 Call in if you see a powder-blue convertible with these plates, 63 00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:45,031 - I wrote 'em down, 8-2-3... - No, no, no, no. 64 00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:46,298 - ... G-A... - No, stop! 65 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,699 Hello? 66 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,668 Cheated, we need to talk about this. Please call back in. 67 00:02:58,916 --> 00:03:00,651 What about that place down on... 68 00:03:01,685 --> 00:03:03,918 I don't know, what you're thinking, some takeout? 69 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,287 I could go for Thai. 70 00:03:05,989 --> 00:03:07,157 Yeah. Spring rolls? 71 00:03:07,492 --> 00:03:08,593 Excuse me. 72 00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:09,861 I was wondering if you've received 73 00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:11,963 any further news about when my friend might be released. 74 00:03:11,965 --> 00:03:13,699 Yeah, but I'm keeping it to myself 75 00:03:13,701 --> 00:03:16,401 because I enjoy these chats we have every 15 minutes or so. 76 00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:19,136 Maybe don't be friends with criminals. 77 00:03:35,990 --> 00:03:38,291 Could go for some butter chicken right now, that's for sure. 78 00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:40,061 Or French. What about French? 79 00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:43,631 Peyton Charles, Assistant District Attorney. 80 00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:44,831 Gotta go. 81 00:03:45,832 --> 00:03:48,134 Do you notice anything missing with this paperwork? 82 00:03:48,136 --> 00:03:49,638 Save your eyes. 83 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,674 It's missing a time stamp, which means 84 00:03:51,676 --> 00:03:54,875 the prisoner is being held in violation of Habeas Corpus statutes. 85 00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:58,113 - I could put the stamp on now. - Are you offering to commit forgery? 86 00:03:58,715 --> 00:04:00,916 - No. - Get him out. Now. 87 00:04:00,918 --> 00:04:03,084 And hope to hell he doesn't go to the press or sue, 88 00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:04,766 cause it'll be both our asses. 89 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,794 I read it for the articles. 90 00:04:16,598 --> 00:04:18,399 The prisoner's being released. Fifteen minutes, tops. 91 00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:19,600 Make it five. 92 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,612 Oh, my God. 93 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:05,000 synced and corrected by kategreen www.addic7ed.com 94 00:05:07,715 --> 00:05:09,548 What did they do to you in there? 95 00:05:09,722 --> 00:05:11,762 There seemed to be some lesson I was meant to learn. 96 00:05:11,892 --> 00:05:14,626 You may need to put me on retainer, young man. 97 00:05:14,812 --> 00:05:16,377 I'm... I'm sorry. And you are? 98 00:05:16,379 --> 00:05:18,582 This is my roommate Ravi, Liv's boss. 99 00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:20,651 Ravi, this is Peyton, Liv's roommate. 100 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:21,820 I did try to call Liv. 101 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,101 - You did what? - Horrible idea. 102 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:26,356 We'd have two messes to clean up. Have you looked in a mirror? 103 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,760 I have a feeling people who are friends with social workers 104 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:30,930 don't ask this question a lot, but who were you fighting with this week? 105 00:05:30,996 --> 00:05:32,598 Sons of Anarchy, I think. 106 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,467 Guards commuted their sentences to 20 minutes of beating the hell out of me. 107 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:38,771 Hey, word of advice. Try not getting arrested the day after you're quoted 108 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,474 on the front page of the paper saying that local police are indifferent 109 00:05:41,476 --> 00:05:43,074 to the disappearance of the underclass. 110 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,578 If you want to sue the city, I can put you in touch with someone. 111 00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:48,214 No, the only witnesses were the guards and the guys whipping my ass. 112 00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:52,182 It's a waste of my time. I just wanna find out what happened to Jerome and Eddie. 113 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,023 What? 114 00:05:56,858 --> 00:05:59,028 All right, look... Um... 115 00:06:00,031 --> 00:06:02,768 You know the, uh, Emily Sparrow disappearance? 116 00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:06,139 She was kidnapped by, uh, space-alien worshipping, 117 00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:09,541 sister-wife collecting cultists. A married couple. 118 00:06:10,343 --> 00:06:11,676 The, uh... 119 00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:16,981 The police found the remains of a number of the skate park kids at their compound. 120 00:06:17,415 --> 00:06:18,715 Jerome and Eddie? 121 00:06:21,587 --> 00:06:22,755 You... 122 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,927 You did everything you could. 123 00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:27,319 I mean, they couldn't have had anyone more in their corner. 124 00:06:28,414 --> 00:06:29,615 It's over now. 125 00:06:33,053 --> 00:06:35,218 I've known in my gut that they were gone, 126 00:06:37,155 --> 00:06:38,755 but I've seen things. 127 00:06:39,757 --> 00:06:41,925 If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. 128 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,696 I know who killed Jerome and Eddie, 129 00:06:44,698 --> 00:06:46,267 and it wasn't these two. 130 00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:50,972 Everything the police tell you in this town is a lie. 131 00:06:53,609 --> 00:06:55,342 This is a long way from over. 132 00:06:57,612 --> 00:07:00,451 Cheated On In Chattanooga, we're all concerned about you. 133 00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:01,986 - Please call back. - Sorry I'm late. 134 00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,022 I had to help a friend with a legal matter. 135 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,024 Shh! 136 00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:08,183 Cheated On In Chattanooga threatened to kill her husband's mistress on air. 137 00:07:08,585 --> 00:07:11,753 Sasha, the host, is trying to talk her out of it, but she won't call back in. 138 00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:13,189 Really, Liv? 139 00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:16,104 I'm surprised you find this trashy, lowest-common... 140 00:07:16,129 --> 00:07:16,832 Zip it! 141 00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:20,903 Come on, ladies. The world is full of eligible men, 142 00:07:20,905 --> 00:07:23,639 and not one of them is... 143 00:07:24,341 --> 00:07:25,674 - What just happened? - No idea. 144 00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:27,772 Sasha! 145 00:07:27,774 --> 00:07:29,507 Oh, my God, what's happening? 146 00:07:29,509 --> 00:07:31,475 - Sasha! Sasha! - Shut it off! 147 00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:32,842 Shut it off! Shut it off! 148 00:07:32,844 --> 00:07:35,046 - Somebody call an ambulance! - Sasha! 149 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,123 I stand corrected. This is compelling radio. 150 00:07:46,696 --> 00:07:49,629 The electricity entered the body through her hands. 151 00:07:49,631 --> 00:07:51,667 The current then passed through her chest cavity. 152 00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:53,938 Causing instant cardiac arrest. 153 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,108 Electrocution is an extremely rare cause of accidental death. 154 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,509 Well, wasn't an accident. 155 00:07:59,377 --> 00:08:00,678 According to the fire inspector, 156 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,314 someone intentionally spliced the victim's microphone 157 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,416 into the station's backup generator. 158 00:08:06,318 --> 00:08:08,452 Moment she touched it after the break, bam! 159 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,758 First thing we need to do is find 160 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,327 Cheated On In Chattanooga. 161 00:08:13,329 --> 00:08:16,366 The caller who threatened to murder her husband's mistress on today's show? 162 00:08:18,138 --> 00:08:19,339 Um... 163 00:08:19,341 --> 00:08:20,607 First-time listener. 164 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:22,557 Why her? 165 00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:25,147 You know that license plate number she gave on the air? 166 00:08:25,149 --> 00:08:27,083 The car's registered to the victim. 167 00:08:28,552 --> 00:08:29,786 Shocking. 168 00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:33,591 Too soon? 169 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:44,795 Did Sasha recognize her own license plate number when she heard it on the air? 170 00:08:44,797 --> 00:08:48,467 Yeah, she was terrified. She sent me downstairs to grab Security. 171 00:08:48,469 --> 00:08:50,671 As the show's producer, you screened the calls, decided 172 00:08:50,673 --> 00:08:52,140 - which made it on the air? - That's right. 173 00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:56,042 It's a local show, but this caller, Cheated On In Chattanooga, 174 00:08:56,044 --> 00:08:57,644 was she calling from Tennessee? 175 00:08:57,646 --> 00:09:00,348 Well, our show is streamed nationwide, but I could tell from the Caller ID, 176 00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:03,485 Chead On In Chattanooga's calls all came from a Seattle area code. 177 00:09:03,487 --> 00:09:05,054 So, she called the show a lot? 178 00:09:05,056 --> 00:09:07,757 Ten, twelve times over the past few weeks. 179 00:09:07,759 --> 00:09:11,226 She was high drama. A woman on the verge. 180 00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:14,116 - She gave great radio. - We'll need those recordings. 181 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:15,399 Yeah. 182 00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:16,567 Hey, Kaley. 183 00:09:16,913 --> 00:09:19,194 Can you get these officers the past couple weeks of shows? 184 00:09:20,414 --> 00:09:23,212 Now, this week's shows might take a little longer to get our hands on, 185 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,647 but, uh, you'll have plenty to listen to in the meantime. 186 00:09:26,163 --> 00:09:29,129 Unfortunately, we don't archive by caller, so if you want 187 00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:31,283 the Cheated segments, somebody'll have to go through, like, 188 00:09:31,284 --> 00:09:33,852 - 30 hours of audio files. - I'll do it. 189 00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:36,688 Who couldn't use some straight talk? 190 00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,990 That was, uh, definitely Sasha's forte. 191 00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:40,225 She was fearless. 192 00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:42,660 God, I can't believe 193 00:09:42,662 --> 00:09:45,529 she's gone. We made so many hours of radio together. 194 00:09:45,531 --> 00:09:47,698 I'm sorry. I think I need a minute. 195 00:09:48,032 --> 00:09:49,032 Of course. 196 00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:50,878 I take it Sasha and Jane were close? 197 00:09:50,903 --> 00:09:51,711 Oh, super close. 198 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,957 Like, since college. 199 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,359 Sasha was the psych major with the big personality. 200 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,828 Jane was the RTF major with the radio skills. 201 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,431 They had this whole Liz Lemon, Jenna Maroney thing going on, 202 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,832 but in a "not funny" way. 203 00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,135 You happen to know who Sasha was seeing romantically? 204 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:08,971 Specifically? No. I mean, she talked about her sex life on the air all the time, 205 00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:12,711 but her lovers always got code names. The All-Nighter, Sir Cries-A-Lot. 206 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,881 So, there were a lot of lovers? 207 00:10:14,883 --> 00:10:16,515 From what she said, yeah. 208 00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,185 I don't know any names or anything, 209 00:10:19,187 --> 00:10:23,189 but everybody around here knew she had a thing for men already in relationships. 210 00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:26,759 Do you think one of her lovers did this? 211 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,395 We'll look into every possibility. 212 00:10:29,397 --> 00:10:30,597 This way. 213 00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:35,502 This is the line to Sasha's mic. It should ground into this panel, 214 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,370 but the killer ran it over there into the backup generator. 215 00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:39,778 Who has access to this room? 216 00:10:39,779 --> 00:10:41,926 Five stations under the Panopticon umbrella, 217 00:10:41,951 --> 00:10:43,549 all operate out of this building. 218 00:10:43,551 --> 00:10:46,785 Plus, there's the public tours that tramp through here all day. 219 00:10:46,787 --> 00:10:50,786 Last week, some clown wandered into a KGOV live broadcast. 220 00:10:51,429 --> 00:10:54,001 Took half a dozen calls before somebody figured 221 00:10:54,026 --> 00:10:56,222 out he wasn't really a city comptroller. 222 00:10:56,318 --> 00:10:58,786 So, basically, anyone could've gotten in here? 223 00:11:02,393 --> 00:11:04,994 Yes, manscaping is a thing. 224 00:11:04,996 --> 00:11:07,930 You can't expect a girl to go hacking through the brush 225 00:11:07,932 --> 00:11:11,136 like Indiana Jones looking for the lost Peruvian temple. 226 00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:14,635 I'm not asking you for a Brazilian, just a little... 227 00:11:16,404 --> 00:11:17,671 - You need me? - No. 228 00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:21,443 It's just that I had some business down at the courthouse 229 00:11:21,445 --> 00:11:23,179 and met your roommate Peyton. 230 00:11:23,948 --> 00:11:25,515 - Bit of a spitfire, isn't she? - Yeah. 231 00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:28,486 - Is she seeing anyone presently? - Probably. 232 00:11:31,227 --> 00:11:33,830 You're asking because you might wanna ask her out? 233 00:11:33,889 --> 00:11:36,623 For a moment there, I thought I might have to draw you a diagram. 234 00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:37,735 I'll check. 235 00:11:37,737 --> 00:11:40,904 She's not generally lacking for male companionship. 236 00:11:41,437 --> 00:11:43,003 I think we had a moment. 237 00:11:43,404 --> 00:11:44,571 Oh! 238 00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,576 The early shift was displeased that the supply closet is now padlocked. 239 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,183 They'll get over it. This is where we're curing zombie-ism. 240 00:11:55,185 --> 00:11:58,553 I'm mid-experiment. Our guinea rats are behind this door, 241 00:11:58,555 --> 00:12:01,590 rolling hard on Utopium and Max Rager. 242 00:12:01,592 --> 00:12:04,692 Right now, they're probably waving tiny glow sticks in the air. 243 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,693 I think someone needs an escort to the chill-out room. 244 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,564 Liv! 245 00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:21,875 Their brains are missing, every one of them. 246 00:12:22,711 --> 00:12:24,981 "The Lannisters send their regards." 247 00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:26,617 Ugh. 248 00:12:26,619 --> 00:12:28,819 - Where is the fifth rat? - Don't know. 249 00:12:28,821 --> 00:12:31,754 But I can't stress enough the importance of finding him. 250 00:12:36,362 --> 00:12:38,429 Holy crap, Ravi! He's white and murderous. 251 00:12:38,431 --> 00:12:40,529 You did it. You made a zombie rat. 252 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,268 Where are you going, little buddy? 253 00:12:45,504 --> 00:12:48,373 Uh, I believe he was on his way to murder me and eat my brains. 254 00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:49,707 Why isn't he tearing into you? 255 00:12:49,709 --> 00:12:51,943 Oh, it's a zombie thing. You wouldn't understand. 256 00:12:52,479 --> 00:12:53,914 Zombie brains are nasty. 257 00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:56,617 You wouldn't want those. No, you wouldn't. 258 00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,685 Uh, that rat you're doting on like a purse Chihuahua 259 00:12:59,687 --> 00:13:02,023 could end civilization as we know it. 260 00:13:06,562 --> 00:13:09,833 Right. The human genome is full of so-called "junk DNA," right? 261 00:13:09,835 --> 00:13:11,838 Veritable sleeper cells of evolution, 262 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,541 waiting to be called to action by a change in environment or circumstance. 263 00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:19,750 Enter, a chemical cocktail of tainted Utopium and Max Rager. 264 00:13:20,453 --> 00:13:21,988 Cocktail wakes up dormant genes, 265 00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:24,358 which then transforms an ordinary human or rat 266 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,060 into a zombie at the cellular level. 267 00:13:26,199 --> 00:13:30,098 So, you'll use antibodies from zombie-rat to synthesize a gene therapy-based cure. 268 00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:31,516 That's the plan. 269 00:13:33,352 --> 00:13:36,016 Do you think this is how Oppenheimer felt staring down at the A-bomb? 270 00:13:36,017 --> 00:13:37,017 Like a drama queen? 271 00:13:38,086 --> 00:13:40,655 Or are you talking about his need for self-aggrandizement? 272 00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:43,110 - Aw. - Oh, come on! Gentle ribbing. 273 00:13:43,111 --> 00:13:44,512 Dr. Oppenheimer, you love me. 274 00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:46,379 He loves me. 275 00:13:47,713 --> 00:13:51,449 Cheated On In Chattanooga's phone was a burner, totally untraceable. 276 00:13:51,651 --> 00:13:52,953 New development. Check this out. 277 00:13:54,023 --> 00:13:58,395 Dear God, how about a heads-up, or an NSFW warning? 278 00:13:58,465 --> 00:14:00,233 Is that a blow-up sex doll? 279 00:14:00,235 --> 00:14:01,302 Ooh! I wanna see. 280 00:14:01,304 --> 00:14:03,938 With Sasha Arconi's face taped over the doll's. 281 00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:04,973 There are a bunch of them. 282 00:14:04,975 --> 00:14:06,577 Sasha was in a blood feud with the host 283 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:09,551 of a rival drive-time sports talk show, The Morning Hurl. 284 00:14:09,553 --> 00:14:12,953 The host, Chuck Burd, asked all of his listeners, "Upchuckers" they're called, 285 00:14:12,955 --> 00:14:17,361 to commit unspeakable acts upon a Sasha Arconi blow-up doll and post them online. 286 00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:19,947 - Delightful. - Sasha gave it as good as she got. 287 00:14:19,954 --> 00:14:22,087 She was promoting a roundtable interview next week 288 00:14:22,089 --> 00:14:24,056 with several of Chuck's past lovers. 289 00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:25,825 It sounds like we should have a chat with Chuck. 290 00:14:25,827 --> 00:14:27,260 Exactly my thought. 291 00:14:27,262 --> 00:14:29,165 "Great morning sex." 292 00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:31,201 Isn't it enough for you ladies that you're having it? 293 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,801 Why spoil it by talking about it? 294 00:14:32,803 --> 00:14:35,736 See, I find it fascinating that we never talk about your love life. 295 00:14:35,738 --> 00:14:38,075 Really? 'Cause I find it non-negotiable. 296 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,211 - Boundaries, Liv. - "Stressing of boundaries," 297 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,844 one of several signs of a classic distancer. 298 00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:45,631 Pair that with "avoiding discussion of deep feelings." 299 00:14:45,632 --> 00:14:48,934 - I'm going in now. - "Pulling away when things get real." 300 00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:50,729 Look, it's nice you want to get to know me. 301 00:14:50,731 --> 00:14:53,635 - "Sending mixed signals." - What's gotten into you? 302 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:56,765 You listen to Sasha's show for one day and now you think you're her? 303 00:14:57,434 --> 00:15:00,202 Something like that. 304 00:15:00,271 --> 00:15:02,405 I'm not the "let's get real" type, anyway. 305 00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:04,437 Ask DeVore in Vice. She'd tell you. 306 00:15:04,439 --> 00:15:08,271 "Idealizing a past partner." You are so textbook. 307 00:15:08,639 --> 00:15:10,374 Seriously, you can stop talking right now. 308 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,777 I know everything there is to know about you. 309 00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:15,562 I'm not saying he should have done what he did. 310 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:19,044 All I'm saying is, any guy who's been married for more than five minutes 311 00:15:19,046 --> 00:15:21,279 knows exactly how he felt! 312 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,881 Ladies, listen to this. 313 00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:26,952 Your mouths were not made for speaking. 314 00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:28,922 Not for speak... Ooh! 315 00:15:29,289 --> 00:15:30,521 Huh. 316 00:15:30,523 --> 00:15:34,093 Upchuckers, show of hands, who's screwed an albino chick? 317 00:15:34,095 --> 00:15:35,628 Huh? Anyone? Anyone? 318 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,497 I think what they lack in pigment, 319 00:15:37,499 --> 00:15:39,468 they make up for in nasty. 320 00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:41,104 Am I right? You know, don't ya? 321 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,808 We got a chick in studio, right now, 322 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:47,247 begging for someone to bang a little color back into her cheeks. 323 00:15:47,249 --> 00:15:48,550 Isn't that right, sweetheart? 324 00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:50,921 What's that? 325 00:15:55,227 --> 00:15:57,664 The feud with Sasha was all for show. 326 00:15:57,666 --> 00:16:01,768 The more PMS-y she acted, the more fired up my listeners got. 327 00:16:02,802 --> 00:16:05,638 The broad was ratings gold. 328 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,308 So, 329 00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:08,808 your relationship with your mom, 330 00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:10,542 I'm going with complicated. 331 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,866 Extreme narcissism with a tendency towards sexual deviance. 332 00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:16,597 "Mommy issues." 333 00:16:16,599 --> 00:16:19,599 All I'm saying is, the inexplicable crying when you're cuffing the carrot, 334 00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:21,868 - there's a reason for that. - Mr. Burd. 335 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,781 This show Sasha was supposed to do about you, 336 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:27,885 a lot of men would feel threatened by their ex-lovers comparing notes on the radio. 337 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,369 Yeah, unless all of your notes are just, muah! 338 00:16:31,371 --> 00:16:32,970 You know what I mean? 339 00:16:32,972 --> 00:16:35,041 I was just worried she wouldn't be able to fit 'em all into the studio. 340 00:16:35,043 --> 00:16:38,612 If I'm gonna puke in your trash bin, do I need to go through the basketball hoop? 341 00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:40,948 What do I care if one of them said something bad? 342 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,851 You and I both know how women get when you kick 'em loose. 343 00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,721 - You kicked a lot of women loose? - Not anymore. 344 00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,655 I'm a happily married man now. 345 00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:50,291 That's my girl. 346 00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:55,618 Stay away from my husband, whore! 347 00:16:58,471 --> 00:17:01,751 She's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but she is a former gymnast. 348 00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:03,738 Power tumbler. 349 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,140 When your wife found out you were sleeping with Sasha, was she mad enough to kill her? 350 00:17:16,143 --> 00:17:18,812 Okay, Sasha and I bumped uglies a couple times, 351 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:22,235 but I'm not the first guy to have a little hate bang on the side. 352 00:17:22,236 --> 00:17:25,738 No, but you're a guy with an angry wife and a dead lover. 353 00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:29,216 You think Oksana is this Chattanooga chick? 354 00:17:30,453 --> 00:17:34,721 She's a mail-order bride. She speaks maybe 50 words of English. 355 00:17:34,723 --> 00:17:38,262 The woman could barely order a cup of coffee, let alone fake a Southern accent! 356 00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:40,732 Where were you yesterday between 9:30 and 9:45? 357 00:17:40,734 --> 00:17:43,503 Talking about ambidextrous hookers on the radio. 358 00:17:43,505 --> 00:17:45,539 It's a public service piece I like to do. 359 00:17:45,626 --> 00:17:49,426 If you'll excuse me, I've got 42 seconds to take a leak before the news. 360 00:17:50,398 --> 00:17:54,264 For what it's worth, I don't think his wife could've passed for 361 00:17:54,396 --> 00:17:57,800 Cheated On In Chattanooga. Maybe "Cheated On In Chechnya." 362 00:17:57,802 --> 00:18:00,802 That doesn't mean she didn't kill her. I'll check her out. 363 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,573 Where's a vat of bleach when you need one? 364 00:18:07,943 --> 00:18:09,143 Hello? 365 00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,686 So you missed our lunch date. 366 00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:19,122 Things have been kind of crazy, 367 00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:21,092 but I'll make it up to you, okay? 368 00:18:22,061 --> 00:18:24,996 Oh, my God. Major, what happened to your face? 369 00:18:25,632 --> 00:18:26,799 It's a long story. 370 00:18:29,803 --> 00:18:31,904 I... I broke into a guy's car. 371 00:18:31,906 --> 00:18:34,572 Then the cops put me in a cell with these bikers and... 372 00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,350 Whatever, you know, it, it doesn't matter. 373 00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:37,200 It does matter! 374 00:18:40,447 --> 00:18:42,446 Why are you looking at pictures of brains? 375 00:18:43,714 --> 00:18:46,149 You know what? Don't even answer that. 376 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,586 This is so not what I signed up for. 377 00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:51,937 - Look, I... I know I've been... - You keep getting into fights. 378 00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:56,300 You just got arrested. You are in a running battle with someone known as the Candyman? 379 00:18:56,377 --> 00:19:01,045 What the hell? You were the dream combination of superhot but funny 380 00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:04,868 and now you're like some whackjob who doesn't shower enough. 381 00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:09,010 - If you give me a second to explain... - You should get some help. 382 00:19:17,441 --> 00:19:18,941 I take it game night's off? 383 00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:25,945 Enter the hero. 384 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,149 - Why so glum, chum? - I can't do this anymore. 385 00:19:30,318 --> 00:19:33,119 Moving those kids' bodies, it was too much. 386 00:19:33,121 --> 00:19:36,389 Emotionally, or... Because physically, it shouldn't 've been that bad. 387 00:19:36,391 --> 00:19:38,525 - How heavy are bones? - Damn it, you listen to me! 388 00:19:40,693 --> 00:19:43,229 You're not even trying to be careful anymore. 389 00:19:43,231 --> 00:19:47,400 The bodies are piling up, and you just expect me to make them disappear. 390 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:51,377 What part of "me having you by the short and curlies" don't you understand? 391 00:19:51,578 --> 00:19:53,111 I'm literally your meal ticket. 392 00:19:53,113 --> 00:19:55,048 Oh, I understand that, but... 393 00:19:55,050 --> 00:19:57,116 What're you gonna do? Hmm? 394 00:19:57,118 --> 00:19:59,086 Are you gonna mosey down to the holding cell and pop open 395 00:19:59,088 --> 00:20:01,557 a couple of craniums a week and hope nobody gets wise? 396 00:20:01,559 --> 00:20:05,225 Stop acting like you have options and just do what I tell you to do. 397 00:20:08,296 --> 00:20:10,465 There's a girl in the M.E.'s office. 398 00:20:11,301 --> 00:20:12,501 Pale. 399 00:20:13,203 --> 00:20:14,903 Looks like she plays for Team Z. 400 00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:17,439 Yeah, I know all about her. 401 00:20:17,441 --> 00:20:19,107 She has her own special role in all this. 402 00:20:19,942 --> 00:20:21,803 It would've been nice to get a heads-up. 403 00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:25,254 I'm sorry, dear. You know how I struggle with my communication skills. 404 00:20:26,535 --> 00:20:28,836 Now, run off and do your job. 405 00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:30,773 Protect and serve... 406 00:20:30,775 --> 00:20:31,942 Me. 407 00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:39,817 The guy's a bully, and you're just laying back and taking it. 408 00:20:40,259 --> 00:20:43,761 Act like his bitch, don't expect to be treated like his girlfriend. 409 00:20:43,814 --> 00:20:46,682 Before this brain, my advice-giving M.O. was gentle. 410 00:20:46,684 --> 00:20:47,884 Sympathetic. 411 00:20:47,886 --> 00:20:49,688 Now I feel compelled to fix people, 412 00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:51,859 to take them apart, whether they want it or not. 413 00:20:51,861 --> 00:20:53,936 - Don't make me play it. - But he meditates now. 414 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,830 He's becoming a vegetarian. 415 00:20:55,832 --> 00:20:59,800 - You asked for it. Tell her, Miss Lynch. - Bitch, get a clue! 416 00:21:01,403 --> 00:21:03,139 Bitch, get a clue! 417 00:21:04,108 --> 00:21:06,609 Sasha, I'm sorry! I was gonna tell you, I swear! 418 00:21:06,611 --> 00:21:10,179 - Ahhh! Sasha! - I don't want apologies! I want loyalty! 419 00:21:12,328 --> 00:21:13,962 Well, any time you mix friendship and work, 420 00:21:13,964 --> 00:21:16,765 things can get complicated, but Sasha and I were fine. 421 00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,367 So, you didn't mind when she yelled at you and threw things? 422 00:21:19,369 --> 00:21:21,235 - That was cool with you? - You heard about the cupcakes. 423 00:21:21,237 --> 00:21:24,070 Yeah, Sasha could go a little psycho, 424 00:21:25,072 --> 00:21:26,772 - but that time I had it coming. - Why is that? 425 00:21:26,774 --> 00:21:29,573 She found out I was sending tapes to other stations. 426 00:21:29,575 --> 00:21:32,708 I should've told her, but... I don't know, I... 427 00:21:33,072 --> 00:21:36,505 We started as co-hosts, and then Sasha became this big star 428 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:40,765 and I became just her producer which was fine for a while, but... 429 00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,799 But you would've rather been behind the mic. 430 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,000 Anybody in radio says differently, they're lying. 431 00:21:45,835 --> 00:21:47,673 - Did you get any offers? - No. Mmm-mmm. 432 00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:54,111 It takes a special kind of charisma to get people to tune in and listen. Sasha had it. 433 00:21:54,114 --> 00:21:55,947 Judging by my lack of offers... 434 00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:58,416 Well, I guess we'll never know. 435 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:01,086 Sasha was pretty angry when she found out you wanted to leave. 436 00:22:01,088 --> 00:22:04,659 Well, at first, and then she got over it and started fighting for a raise for me. 437 00:22:04,661 --> 00:22:05,960 To entice me to stay. 438 00:22:07,496 --> 00:22:11,268 Oh, we got those last Cheated audio files from archives if you still want them. 439 00:22:11,536 --> 00:22:12,703 Please. 440 00:22:17,574 --> 00:22:19,842 Oyster shucking gloves. Observe. 441 00:22:27,754 --> 00:22:29,321 - Ahhh! - Ravi! 442 00:22:30,357 --> 00:22:32,523 - Voilà. Chain mail for the hand. - Enjoy hell. 443 00:22:33,825 --> 00:22:35,357 Have you seen Major today? 444 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,391 I missed a call from him yesterday and I haven't heard back. 445 00:22:37,393 --> 00:22:39,094 Oh, you... He's fine. 446 00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:42,932 Well, he's got some stuff going on, romantically. 447 00:22:43,174 --> 00:22:46,074 There was a break-up. In that, Corinne dumped him. 448 00:22:46,209 --> 00:22:48,509 Major doesn't get dumped. There are literally 449 00:22:48,692 --> 00:22:52,924 two reasons to end a relationship with Major, zombie-ism and full-on death. 450 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,362 - Wait, you don't think Corinne... - Is now a zombie? 451 00:22:56,364 --> 00:22:57,530 Seems unlikely. 452 00:22:57,588 --> 00:23:00,923 Speaking of roommates, have you spoken with Peyton yet? 453 00:23:00,950 --> 00:23:03,850 Wow. All roads lead to Rome with you lately, huh? 454 00:23:04,232 --> 00:23:07,552 I think you need to ask yourself why you're so interested in her. 455 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,869 I don't know. Just saw her in action briefly. She was quite fiery. 456 00:23:12,104 --> 00:23:15,084 And you like them fiery. Someone kind of hard to get, 457 00:23:15,337 --> 00:23:17,897 maybe a little complicated. You want to have to put in some work. 458 00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:21,433 - I don't shy away from a challenge. - Of course you don't. 459 00:23:21,435 --> 00:23:23,735 Because then there's the potential to win. 460 00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:27,141 To rewrite history, be the conqueror. 461 00:23:27,143 --> 00:23:28,576 Wait, no, uh... 462 00:23:28,578 --> 00:23:29,987 What history am I rewriting? 463 00:23:29,988 --> 00:23:33,190 I don't know which parent was distant and made you work for affection. 464 00:23:33,783 --> 00:23:34,916 Are you shrinking me? 465 00:23:34,918 --> 00:23:37,451 I'm just pointing out obvious behavior 466 00:23:37,453 --> 00:23:39,487 that could potentially lead to you being hurt. 467 00:23:40,189 --> 00:23:41,673 Okay, I guess I'm shrinking you, 468 00:23:41,674 --> 00:23:45,341 but you really do need to learn from the past and not try to relive it. 469 00:23:45,939 --> 00:23:48,440 I can't help it. I'm filled to the brim with insight. 470 00:23:48,622 --> 00:23:49,921 Oh, that's what you're full of? 471 00:23:50,790 --> 00:23:53,126 Just find out if she's dating anyone, okay? 472 00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:54,322 I live to enable. 473 00:23:57,526 --> 00:23:59,059 Fun fact of zombie-ism: 474 00:23:59,061 --> 00:24:01,262 knowing you're being affected by the brain you just ate 475 00:24:01,263 --> 00:24:03,932 doesn't always stop you from acting on its impulses. 476 00:24:06,331 --> 00:24:07,331 Major? 477 00:24:07,332 --> 00:24:09,866 I can see your mopey shadow. Let me in. 478 00:24:10,260 --> 00:24:13,590 Someone needs to tell you that self-sabotaging is not the answer. 479 00:24:14,292 --> 00:24:15,926 You're allowed to be happy. 480 00:24:19,296 --> 00:24:21,894 Oh, Major. Who did this to you? 481 00:24:21,896 --> 00:24:23,361 I can't talk about fight club. 482 00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,399 - Crap. - I want to know what happened! 483 00:24:27,369 --> 00:24:29,202 Would you believe shark attack? 484 00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:32,902 Did you go to the skate park again? 485 00:24:32,904 --> 00:24:34,036 Rough night in jail. 486 00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:36,437 Turns out the police take umbrage when you accuse them of negligence. 487 00:24:36,439 --> 00:24:38,671 You were in jail? Why didn't you... 488 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,974 You did call me. You called me from jail and I didn't answer. 489 00:24:42,976 --> 00:24:46,011 It's fine, really. I'm glad you're here now. 490 00:24:51,614 --> 00:24:53,348 You made it on the police blotter? 491 00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:56,950 One of the kids at Helton Shelter brought that into a group session this morning. 492 00:24:56,952 --> 00:24:59,522 Unfortunately, my bosses weren't nearly as impressed 493 00:24:59,524 --> 00:25:01,625 with my "street cred" as this kid was, 494 00:25:02,695 --> 00:25:03,928 so if you hear of anyone looking for a youth counselor 495 00:25:03,930 --> 00:25:06,096 - with a rap sheet... - They fired you. 496 00:25:06,832 --> 00:25:08,899 - Major, I'm so sorry. - Look at me. 497 00:25:09,734 --> 00:25:11,501 I didn't give them much choice. 498 00:25:13,604 --> 00:25:15,739 I need to talk to you about something. 499 00:25:16,775 --> 00:25:18,477 I think you're the only one who might listen to me. 500 00:25:18,479 --> 00:25:19,678 Of course. 501 00:25:20,781 --> 00:25:22,484 Those people in the woods didn't kill Jerome and Eddie. 502 00:25:22,486 --> 00:25:24,890 All right? It was a drug dealer named Julien Dupont. 503 00:25:24,892 --> 00:25:26,260 The guy the kids call "the Candyman." 504 00:25:26,262 --> 00:25:27,762 They found their remains at the house. 505 00:25:27,764 --> 00:25:29,965 Look, I'm telling you it wasn't them, all right? 506 00:25:29,967 --> 00:25:32,202 This Dupont guy was wearing Jerome's shoes. 507 00:25:32,204 --> 00:25:34,538 He, he practically admitted to killing him. 508 00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:37,075 The police, they're covering this up. Now, don't ask me why. 509 00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:40,246 - The DNA was verified. - Just listen, please. 510 00:25:40,867 --> 00:25:42,335 All right? I saw something in the Candyman's car 511 00:25:42,337 --> 00:25:44,238 and it's gonna sound crazy, all right? 512 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,172 - But I know what I saw. - Okay. 513 00:25:47,074 --> 00:25:49,308 There was an ice chest in the passenger seat. 514 00:25:50,076 --> 00:25:52,776 It had a brain inside. 515 00:25:54,073 --> 00:25:56,777 A human brain. I'm sure of it. 516 00:26:07,261 --> 00:26:09,261 Brains hah! 517 00:26:09,286 --> 00:26:11,253 - You think I'm crazy. - No! 518 00:26:12,723 --> 00:26:14,592 It's just that 519 00:26:14,594 --> 00:26:17,795 if the man worked for a butcher shop like he told the police, 520 00:26:17,797 --> 00:26:20,698 then it seems logical the brains came from an animal. 521 00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:24,035 No, no, no. I've been looking at pictures of human and cow brains for hours, 522 00:26:24,037 --> 00:26:26,402 and yes, I know how crazy that sounds, but, Liv, 523 00:26:26,404 --> 00:26:29,903 a cow's brain is baseball-sized. That's not what this was! 524 00:26:31,272 --> 00:26:33,071 I need someone to believe me. 525 00:26:34,038 --> 00:26:36,472 I'd feel so much better if that someone was you. 526 00:26:37,541 --> 00:26:40,411 I know how close you and Jerome were, 527 00:26:40,413 --> 00:26:42,444 how responsible you felt for him. 528 00:26:42,446 --> 00:26:45,748 I think you holding on to this case is a way of you holding on to him. 529 00:26:51,851 --> 00:26:53,053 You're right. 530 00:26:54,791 --> 00:26:57,725 I don't want you to be, but you are. 531 00:26:57,925 --> 00:26:59,327 I know it's not easy to let go. 532 00:27:00,362 --> 00:27:02,633 I've... I've got to get my act together 533 00:27:02,635 --> 00:27:05,033 'cause this... This isn't who I am. 534 00:27:05,035 --> 00:27:07,538 You know, if I'm gonna get into a fight with a biker gang, 535 00:27:07,540 --> 00:27:09,542 it should be because I accidentally knocked over 536 00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:11,645 a row of their hogs outside a dive bar. 537 00:27:13,182 --> 00:27:16,282 Just promise me that you'll back off from this Julien guy. 538 00:27:16,616 --> 00:27:17,816 I promise. 539 00:27:19,752 --> 00:27:21,319 You're a good friend, Liv. 540 00:27:42,514 --> 00:27:45,280 Every time Major calls me his friend, I ache. 541 00:27:45,282 --> 00:27:47,984 I miss the "girl" modifier, but the truth is, 542 00:27:47,986 --> 00:27:50,556 we were practically besties from the moment we met. 543 00:27:50,558 --> 00:27:52,492 That's why we were so great together. 544 00:27:52,494 --> 00:27:55,594 Underneath all the love and the desire to tear each other's clothes off, 545 00:27:55,596 --> 00:27:59,297 was the person I wanted to share every detail of my life with. 546 00:27:59,299 --> 00:28:02,201 Without that, it's not really even a relationship, is it? 547 00:28:03,437 --> 00:28:07,238 Is this just sex? Is that who you are? A zombie booty call? 548 00:28:09,877 --> 00:28:13,614 Sorry. I instinctively take off my shirt every time someone knocks at the door. 549 00:28:14,049 --> 00:28:15,382 What are we doing? 550 00:28:19,891 --> 00:28:22,293 I just finished dyeing my roots. 551 00:28:22,295 --> 00:28:25,027 We can't all pull off the ethereal Tinker Bell look. 552 00:28:25,029 --> 00:28:28,667 I'm not sure what you're up to, but it seems to involve spiraling. 553 00:28:28,669 --> 00:28:32,039 We're not friends. Shouldn't friendship be the foundation of a relationship? 554 00:28:32,950 --> 00:28:36,718 It should be the foundation of year two of a relationship and beyond, but right now, 555 00:28:37,354 --> 00:28:39,488 what I really wanna do is spend epic amounts of time 556 00:28:39,926 --> 00:28:41,661 naked with you, and the friendship will come. 557 00:28:41,663 --> 00:28:43,997 Would we even be together if we weren't both zombies? 558 00:28:43,999 --> 00:28:45,142 Probably not. 559 00:28:45,143 --> 00:28:48,010 My world was the music scene, you were an ER doctor. 560 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,780 I suppose I could've OD'd, would have been a hell of a meet-cute, 561 00:28:50,823 --> 00:28:52,687 but what does it matter? Because 562 00:28:53,422 --> 00:28:55,722 here we are. Zombies together. 563 00:28:56,057 --> 00:28:57,157 It matters. 564 00:28:57,892 --> 00:28:59,127 It doesn't. 565 00:28:59,129 --> 00:29:02,031 We have nothing in common other than being half-dead. 566 00:29:02,033 --> 00:29:04,445 That's not the basis of a healthy relationship. 567 00:29:04,470 --> 00:29:05,524 I have a feeling 568 00:29:06,603 --> 00:29:08,271 that the woman whose brain you ate 569 00:29:08,273 --> 00:29:10,075 never had a healthy relationship in her life. 570 00:29:10,077 --> 00:29:11,411 How do you know it was a woman? 571 00:29:13,645 --> 00:29:15,011 She's exhausting. 572 00:29:15,522 --> 00:29:19,225 I thought that being a relationship and sex expert might be a little fun, but... 573 00:29:19,227 --> 00:29:20,260 Sorry, excuse me. 574 00:29:20,262 --> 00:29:22,195 A what expert? 575 00:29:26,434 --> 00:29:27,768 Ohhh! 576 00:29:39,789 --> 00:29:42,591 Play it again, Sam. 577 00:29:46,794 --> 00:29:47,960 Sam? 578 00:29:50,532 --> 00:29:53,769 Guy you're secretly pretending I am, or a vision? 579 00:29:53,771 --> 00:29:55,869 A vision. A clue. 580 00:29:57,571 --> 00:29:58,938 Then where were we? 581 00:30:03,380 --> 00:30:05,581 So, who's the guy? 582 00:30:07,451 --> 00:30:09,785 - Hmm? - Lowell Tracey. 583 00:30:10,487 --> 00:30:12,655 Oh? Broody musician. 584 00:30:13,290 --> 00:30:14,656 Not your usual type. 585 00:30:15,658 --> 00:30:17,889 But, you know, you're not the usual Liv, are you? 586 00:30:17,891 --> 00:30:19,691 You're looking at the new normal, sister. 587 00:30:20,048 --> 00:30:21,683 Well, if you're happy, I'm happy for you. 588 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,595 Even though I still think you belong with someone else. 589 00:30:25,620 --> 00:30:26,523 Enough about me. 590 00:30:26,525 --> 00:30:29,625 Who have you been sailing with lately and how big is his boat? 591 00:30:30,994 --> 00:30:33,597 Wow. A size joke, really? 592 00:30:34,297 --> 00:30:36,697 Oh, gosh, you've changed. Um... 593 00:30:38,102 --> 00:30:41,172 Actually, the harbor is empty. 594 00:30:41,775 --> 00:30:43,540 I mean, there's this startup guy Alex who keeps calling, 595 00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:46,912 and I'm supposed to meet up with Paolo when the Sounders get back from Germany. 596 00:30:46,914 --> 00:30:50,547 Shannon Hargens still asks me out every time I kick his ass in court. 597 00:30:50,549 --> 00:30:54,186 Honestly though, I would rather kick ass in court than see any of them. 598 00:30:55,121 --> 00:30:56,987 Give a guy some direction. 599 00:30:56,989 --> 00:31:00,523 If you're too shy to tell him where he can and can't put it, 600 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:03,793 you can't complain if it goes where you don't want it to go. 601 00:31:04,461 --> 00:31:06,095 What's up? 602 00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:09,363 We've been in here for an hour and 41 minutes. Do I really have to ask again? 603 00:31:10,733 --> 00:31:12,368 Is she or is she not dating someone? 604 00:31:13,337 --> 00:31:15,771 A tech wunderkind, a professional soccer player, 605 00:31:15,773 --> 00:31:17,837 and a future supreme court justice. 606 00:31:17,839 --> 00:31:19,204 So she's still looking. 607 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,575 Straight talk? 608 00:31:21,577 --> 00:31:23,077 I don't think you and Peyton work. 609 00:31:23,079 --> 00:31:25,812 True, you like a challenge and Peyton is certainly that, 610 00:31:25,814 --> 00:31:29,417 but she dates guys you'd find in a "most eligible bachelors on the planet" catalog, 611 00:31:29,419 --> 00:31:30,954 if such a thing existed. 612 00:31:30,956 --> 00:31:34,925 And you don't think I'd be featured in the pages of Hunks Quarterly? 613 00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:37,930 Ravi, she's a lawyer who looks like Victoria's Secret model. 614 00:31:37,932 --> 00:31:41,369 Liv, I'm a tall doctor with fantastic hair and a British accent. 615 00:31:41,371 --> 00:31:43,974 But to hear you tell it, she's out of my league. 616 00:31:43,976 --> 00:31:46,544 I mean, I don't even need to be this attractive. 617 00:31:46,946 --> 00:31:48,178 It's just icing. 618 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:49,980 Besides, Peyton and I, 619 00:31:51,349 --> 00:31:52,783 we had a moment. 620 00:31:52,785 --> 00:31:55,653 I'm sure that's how it seemed, but I've known Peyton since college, 621 00:31:55,655 --> 00:31:59,455 and literally, every man who's ever met her thought that they had a moment. 622 00:32:00,124 --> 00:32:02,325 I've been a witness to all those poor guys who liked a challenge. 623 00:32:02,327 --> 00:32:07,199 I've watched them approach her table, full of hope. I've seen her turn them into dust. 624 00:32:07,735 --> 00:32:09,867 She's been asked out so much, she doesn't bother with niceties. 625 00:32:09,869 --> 00:32:11,069 - Just trying to help. - Thank you. 626 00:32:11,071 --> 00:32:12,471 You know, I, uh... 627 00:32:12,473 --> 00:32:15,073 I rescind all inquiries into the subject. 628 00:32:15,709 --> 00:32:18,741 You know, I'm a grown man who knows a moment when he experiences one. 629 00:32:19,442 --> 00:32:21,442 Oh, and my "distant parents"? 630 00:32:22,411 --> 00:32:24,331 They're fairly certain I put the moon in the sky. 631 00:32:25,148 --> 00:32:27,882 This brain you're on? She's a bit of an ass. 632 00:32:29,017 --> 00:32:30,415 Thanks for the straight talk. 633 00:32:38,478 --> 00:32:42,148 The good thing about being forced to listen to hours of a relationship show? 634 00:32:42,150 --> 00:32:44,787 It cuts down on the awkward silence after you've just done 635 00:32:44,789 --> 00:32:47,993 possible irreparable damage to a relationship of your own. 636 00:32:49,529 --> 00:32:53,298 The blues? Y'all come on down to S'il Vous Plaît Beignet... 637 00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:55,267 It's high time you experience 638 00:32:55,269 --> 00:32:57,535 the warmth of our Southern hospitality. 639 00:32:57,536 --> 00:32:59,312 Piping hot coffee... 640 00:32:59,902 --> 00:33:01,533 I'll go see Clive. 641 00:33:02,022 --> 00:33:04,456 Chuck's mail-order gymnast has an alibi. 642 00:33:04,458 --> 00:33:07,260 A dozen witnesses who saw her at a "Booty Boot Camp." 643 00:33:08,530 --> 00:33:11,169 - You look like you've got something. - Listen to this. 644 00:33:11,171 --> 00:33:12,603 It's a commercial that ran last week 645 00:33:12,605 --> 00:33:14,738 during Great Morning Sex. I've got it cued up. 646 00:33:15,473 --> 00:33:16,607 Got those rainy day blues? 647 00:33:16,609 --> 00:33:19,209 Y'all come on down to S'il Vous Plaît, Beignet... 648 00:33:19,211 --> 00:33:23,510 It's high time you experience the warmth of our Southern hospitality. 649 00:33:23,512 --> 00:33:25,113 Piping hot coffee... 650 00:33:25,115 --> 00:33:28,150 - That woman's voice... - It's Cheated On In Chattanooga! 651 00:33:29,453 --> 00:33:32,134 They should be able to tell us at the radio station who recorded it. 652 00:33:34,327 --> 00:33:36,862 Sorry. Radio. Where even a memorial broadcast 653 00:33:36,864 --> 00:33:39,634 comes with a deadline and six commercial breaks. 654 00:33:39,636 --> 00:33:42,404 - Did those last audio files help? - Listen for yourself. 655 00:33:48,009 --> 00:33:50,679 Oh, my God. That's Cheated On In Chattanooga. 656 00:33:50,681 --> 00:33:52,314 I should have recognized the voice. 657 00:33:52,316 --> 00:33:54,280 So who recorded it? An ad agency? 658 00:33:54,282 --> 00:33:56,348 Usually, but this time it was Kaley. 659 00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:58,880 - The assistant? - She did the temp track. 660 00:33:58,882 --> 00:34:02,917 We mock ads up to pitch new customers, but Kaley's Southern accent 661 00:34:03,202 --> 00:34:07,037 was so good, the Beignet people just kept her in the finished product. 662 00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:09,575 - You don't think Kaley... - Do you know where Kaley is now? 663 00:34:10,343 --> 00:34:12,144 Uh, home, I guess. It's her day off. 664 00:34:20,451 --> 00:34:21,618 Detectives? 665 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:23,654 What do you want? 666 00:34:23,656 --> 00:34:26,292 I don't know about him, but I'd like to experience 667 00:34:26,294 --> 00:34:28,628 "the warmth of some Southern hospitality." 668 00:34:28,630 --> 00:34:30,796 Ms. Taylor, where were you at the time of Sasha's murder? 669 00:34:30,798 --> 00:34:34,700 I was on a coffee run getting Sasha's emergency soy vanilla latte. 670 00:34:34,838 --> 00:34:37,673 You have a receipt? Can anyone place you there? A barista? 671 00:34:37,804 --> 00:34:40,704 I was in the car, on my way there, listening to the show. 672 00:34:40,706 --> 00:34:42,805 When I heard the commotion, I turned around and I drove back. 673 00:34:42,807 --> 00:34:46,276 So at the time of the murder, you say you were driving around on an errand 674 00:34:46,278 --> 00:34:49,079 that you didn't complete, during which no one saw you? 675 00:34:49,081 --> 00:34:52,948 That also gave you plenty of time to call in as Cheated On In Chattanooga. 676 00:34:52,950 --> 00:34:54,182 What? What... 677 00:34:54,184 --> 00:34:56,218 - What makes you think I... - Hey, babe. 678 00:34:57,421 --> 00:34:58,421 Everything okay? 679 00:34:58,422 --> 00:34:59,721 "Play It Again, Sam." 680 00:35:00,756 --> 00:35:03,022 What makes us think you're Cheated On In Chattanooga? 681 00:35:03,412 --> 00:35:06,480 We have a recording of you doing a Southern accent in a commercial. 682 00:35:06,558 --> 00:35:09,792 The boys at the police lab matched your voice to the Cheated calls. 683 00:35:09,794 --> 00:35:13,226 We also have an eyewitness to the affair between Sasha and this man. 684 00:35:16,029 --> 00:35:17,563 You were discreet, huh? 685 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,086 You had motive and opportunity. 686 00:35:20,121 --> 00:35:22,290 You told the whole world you were gonna murder Sasha. 687 00:35:23,091 --> 00:35:24,971 I knew you were never gonna let it go. 688 00:35:25,589 --> 00:35:29,557 Kaley Taylor, you're under arrest for the murder of Sasha Arconi. 689 00:35:33,162 --> 00:35:36,632 Sam and I were going through a rough time last year. 690 00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:39,435 He got drunk at a work party and Sasha seduced him. 691 00:35:39,970 --> 00:35:42,808 Cheated On In Chattanooga just seemed like a good way to mess with her head, 692 00:35:42,865 --> 00:35:44,963 get even, without ruining my career. 693 00:35:45,731 --> 00:35:46,966 That's all it was. 694 00:35:46,967 --> 00:35:48,965 You didn't think anybody would recognize the 695 00:35:48,990 --> 00:35:51,031 same fake accent you used in the Beignet ads? 696 00:35:51,337 --> 00:35:54,740 I'm from South Carolina, that "fake accent," 697 00:35:54,742 --> 00:35:56,944 that's my real voice, y'all. 698 00:35:56,946 --> 00:35:59,347 And no, I didn't think anyone was gonna remember an ad that 699 00:35:59,349 --> 00:36:01,683 aired exactly once before the bakery folded a year ago. 700 00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:03,887 The ad aired last week. We've got it on tape. 701 00:36:03,889 --> 00:36:05,620 For a business that doesn't exist? 702 00:36:06,353 --> 00:36:07,686 I highly doubt it. 703 00:36:09,923 --> 00:36:12,893 So when you found out your husband and your boss were having these trysts, 704 00:36:12,895 --> 00:36:16,197 you said nothing to her? You just hatched this elaborate plan? 705 00:36:16,199 --> 00:36:18,532 If I had confronted Sasha directly, 706 00:36:18,534 --> 00:36:21,097 she would have blackballed me in the industry, like she did to Jane. 707 00:36:21,099 --> 00:36:22,365 Sasha blackballed Jane? 708 00:36:22,367 --> 00:36:24,334 When she found out Jane was sending out tapes, 709 00:36:24,336 --> 00:36:27,706 Sasha ran her down to the station managers in every top 100 market in the country. 710 00:36:27,708 --> 00:36:30,275 Liv, she's right about S'il Vous Plaît, Beignet. 711 00:36:30,547 --> 00:36:32,781 According to Yelp, they shut their doors last year. 712 00:36:33,233 --> 00:36:36,699 The only way that ad gets on the recording is if Jane plants it there. 713 00:36:37,434 --> 00:36:38,835 She wanted us to put it together. 714 00:36:38,837 --> 00:36:41,371 Sasha destroyed Jane's career. 715 00:36:41,373 --> 00:36:43,206 Jane wanted to kill her. 716 00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:46,140 Kaley's on-air death threat gave her the perfect opportunity. 717 00:36:46,875 --> 00:36:49,342 - Where's Jane now? - At the station, 718 00:36:49,344 --> 00:36:51,712 hosting Sasha's memorial broadcast. 719 00:36:51,714 --> 00:36:53,748 She's finally getting her big break. 720 00:36:54,951 --> 00:36:58,121 Good evening and welcome. I'm Jane Bowman. 721 00:36:58,570 --> 00:37:00,236 Tonight we'll be celebrating the life and work 722 00:37:00,238 --> 00:37:03,407 of Sasha Arconi, who is gone too soon. 723 00:37:04,209 --> 00:37:06,077 Sasha made us a community. 724 00:37:06,478 --> 00:37:10,643 A mutual support system. A sisterhood, linked by one voice. 725 00:37:11,206 --> 00:37:12,706 I hope you'll stick with me as I do 726 00:37:12,708 --> 00:37:15,509 my best to take the show into its second decade. 727 00:37:16,477 --> 00:37:18,477 Give us a call here. Let's get it all out there. 728 00:37:18,479 --> 00:37:22,946 Line One, you're on the air. What are you going to miss most about Sasha? 729 00:37:23,381 --> 00:37:25,282 Everything, 'cause you suck. 730 00:37:26,387 --> 00:37:30,556 I know emotions are running high, but let's try to keep things positive. 731 00:37:31,057 --> 00:37:34,594 Line two. 732 00:37:37,831 --> 00:37:41,099 So, this must be how substitute teachers feel. 733 00:37:45,677 --> 00:37:49,243 Looks like my tenure here won't be quite as long as I'd hoped, 734 00:37:50,179 --> 00:37:52,884 I'll leave you, her adoring public, with this. 735 00:37:53,686 --> 00:37:55,519 Sasha didn't care about our problems. 736 00:37:56,454 --> 00:37:57,654 Sasha cared about Sasha. During commercials, 737 00:37:57,656 --> 00:37:59,656 she'd laugh at the crazies who called in. 738 00:37:59,658 --> 00:38:02,126 She slept with our boyfriends and our husbands. 739 00:38:02,128 --> 00:38:04,828 And when I decided I wanted to live my dream 740 00:38:04,830 --> 00:38:06,694 of being in front of the mic instead of behind it, 741 00:38:06,696 --> 00:38:10,429 she destroyed my chances with every station manager on the West Coast. 742 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,823 I was her biggest fan, and she killed my dreams. 743 00:38:17,393 --> 00:38:20,896 Well, I hope there's radio in hell and I hope you're listening, Sasha. 744 00:38:20,898 --> 00:38:22,697 - Because you can go... - Jane Bowman. 745 00:38:22,699 --> 00:38:25,365 You're under arrest for the murder of Sasha Arconi. 746 00:38:26,066 --> 00:38:28,000 Any last words for Sasha's fans? 747 00:38:30,204 --> 00:38:32,006 Bitch, get a clue! 748 00:38:40,453 --> 00:38:43,553 I'm heading over to Lowell's place. 749 00:38:43,572 --> 00:38:45,637 Yeah, won't wait up. 750 00:39:00,825 --> 00:39:02,093 Oh, Ravi. 751 00:39:02,894 --> 00:39:05,628 Hey, can you get that for me? I'll be out in a sec. 752 00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:11,244 - Peyton's phone. - Liv? 753 00:39:11,245 --> 00:39:14,379 Is, uh... I'd like to speak to Peyton. 754 00:39:14,406 --> 00:39:17,039 Hi, Ravi. Yeah, I'll, um, get her. 755 00:39:19,673 --> 00:39:21,674 - It's Ravi. - Who? 756 00:39:22,476 --> 00:39:24,246 My boss, from the morgue. 757 00:39:27,582 --> 00:39:29,415 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. British guy. 758 00:39:29,417 --> 00:39:30,682 Hi. 759 00:39:30,684 --> 00:39:32,484 It's bad enough that I've spent the past few days 760 00:39:32,486 --> 00:39:34,485 dispensing the advice of a hypocrite. 761 00:39:34,487 --> 00:39:36,651 If I don't get out of here in the next three seconds, 762 00:39:36,653 --> 00:39:38,420 I'm gonna witness a train wreck. 763 00:39:38,422 --> 00:39:41,257 Let this be a lesson. Stay out of people's business. 764 00:39:41,259 --> 00:39:43,590 - Keep your advice to yourself. - Hey, Liv. 765 00:39:48,131 --> 00:39:50,233 Um, your boss just, uh... 766 00:39:50,235 --> 00:39:51,300 You should say yes. 767 00:39:51,302 --> 00:39:52,802 Is that weird for you? 768 00:39:53,169 --> 00:39:54,370 Do it. 769 00:39:55,705 --> 00:39:57,975 Um, yes. That... That sounds great. 770 00:39:58,226 --> 00:40:00,987 Okay. So the pledge to keep my advice to myself didn't last long. 771 00:40:01,562 --> 00:40:04,728 Maybe I'm too reticent on the advice front. What would I say? 772 00:40:06,030 --> 00:40:08,631 Ravi, never listen to me again. 773 00:40:09,666 --> 00:40:11,868 You are too selfless, too wrapped up in saving me. 774 00:40:12,737 --> 00:40:15,140 Chill out. Slow and steady wins the race. 775 00:40:15,842 --> 00:40:17,243 I can't have you burning out. 776 00:40:17,245 --> 00:40:19,308 Argh! Argh! 777 00:40:27,388 --> 00:40:29,221 Because without you, 778 00:40:29,223 --> 00:40:30,656 I'm nothing. 779 00:40:33,963 --> 00:40:35,465 And, Major, 780 00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:37,433 don't lose sight of who you are. 781 00:40:38,133 --> 00:40:40,031 You are sweetness and light. 782 00:40:40,766 --> 00:40:42,400 That's who I fell in love with, 783 00:40:43,202 --> 00:40:44,970 the next girl will fall in love with. 784 00:40:49,575 --> 00:40:51,845 Don't pile tragedy on tragedy. 785 00:41:00,658 --> 00:41:03,262 And what advice would you give yourself, Liv? 786 00:41:03,264 --> 00:41:05,598 Would you even take it? 787 00:41:13,812 --> 00:41:16,614 How about trying to live in the moment for once? 788 00:41:22,588 --> 00:41:25,026 Being grateful for the simple pleasures. 789 00:41:32,136 --> 00:41:35,071 You don't need to know why you feel good. 790 00:41:35,073 --> 00:41:36,439 Just enjoy the ride. 791 00:41:48,383 --> 00:41:50,019 Jerome! 792 00:41:50,021 --> 00:41:51,922 Settle down, Jerome. 793 00:41:51,924 --> 00:41:53,258 It's not a long ride. 794 00:42:05,571 --> 00:42:10,571 synced and corrected by kategreen www.addic7ed.com