1 00:00:01,211 --> 00:00:02,712 LIV: Previously on iZombie... 2 00:00:02,921 --> 00:00:04,005 You think you can cure this? 3 00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:05,423 You were expecting to stay like this forever? 4 00:00:05,632 --> 00:00:07,217 So you're using the rats to search for a cure? 5 00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:08,134 Have you guys seen my friend? 6 00:00:08,343 --> 00:00:09,469 Brother, I just saw him. 7 00:00:09,678 --> 00:00:10,845 We'll have you to him in no time. 8 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,681 Major found the Candyman and someone else. 9 00:00:12,889 --> 00:00:14,683 He thinks they're responsible for the missing kids. 10 00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:17,143 LIV: Major is not gonna let this go. He'll go after them. 11 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,146 - (POLICE SIRENS WAILING) - Whoa! 12 00:00:20,355 --> 00:00:21,940 Look, that's him, the Candyman. 13 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,484 He's got a human brain in that ice chest right there! 14 00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:30,448 GUARD: A little thank you for the Seattle Observer article. 15 00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:34,369 Yes. 16 00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:36,913 Yes. 17 00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:38,581 Yes. 18 00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:40,625 Oh! No. 19 00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,085 No. 20 00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:43,712 No! Aieee! 21 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,881 Ow! I forgot the safe word. What's the safe word? 22 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,217 Kelly Clarkson! Ping pong! (GASPS) 23 00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:50,927 Ah! Ah, yes. 24 00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,096 That's better. 25 00:00:53,972 --> 00:00:55,265 That's the ticket. 26 00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:58,435 That's a good boy. 27 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:02,272 - Your reward in the kingdom of heaven will be great. - Enough. 28 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:06,985 Just relax. 29 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,488 Breathe into it. 30 00:01:10,697 --> 00:01:12,449 LIV: I'd forgotten what it was like to be touched. 31 00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:14,492 This foot-rub dessert is tasty. 32 00:01:14,701 --> 00:01:16,995 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - The main course was... 33 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:19,497 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 34 00:01:19,706 --> 00:01:21,791 Do you need to grab that very early phone call? 35 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:24,836 (SIGHS) 36 00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:33,136 WOMAN ON RADIO: A juicy, mouth-watering thick slab of beef. 37 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:36,514 LIV: "Life" or whatever we zombies agree to call the daily grind, 38 00:01:36,723 --> 00:01:39,142 means being bombarded with almost constant reminders 39 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,102 of the things we can no longer enjoy. 40 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:43,396 WOMAN ON RADIO:...dripping with aged cheddar cheese. 41 00:01:43,605 --> 00:01:46,816 LIV: Cheeseburgers. MAN ON RADIO: Give the gift of life. Give blood. 42 00:01:47,025 --> 00:01:49,319 LIV: A rosy complexion. 43 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,029 WOMAN ON RADIO: Estate planning, the peace of mind that lasts for generations. 44 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,572 LIV: Progeny. 45 00:01:52,781 --> 00:01:54,074 WOMAN ON RADIO: Have your assets preserved 46 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,742 to ensure the wellbeing of your loved ones. 47 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,827 LIV: Sex, on the other hand... 48 00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,413 Ahhh! 49 00:02:00,622 --> 00:02:02,373 That's back on the menu for this zombie. 50 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,878 SASHA ON RADIO: ...frequent caller Cheated On In Chattanooga, 51 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:10,965 who thinks her husband might be getting his kicks at another woman's shoe store. 52 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,635 Cheated, what's the 411? 53 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,970 CHEATED (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT): I finally caught the two of 'em, followed 'em to a hotel. 54 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,264 They were basically dry humping in the lobby. 55 00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:20,809 SASHA: Cheated, you know I always give it to you straight. 56 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,977 It's time to cut that man loose. 57 00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:25,355 CHEATED: Oh, I'm keepin' my man, Dr. Sasha. 58 00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:28,441 It's the slut he's hooking up with that I'm gonna murder. 59 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,069 (CAR HONKS) 60 00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:35,532 SASHA: I know I talk a lot about self-empowerment, but that doesn't include murder. 61 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,826 CHEATED: Maybe I could get some help from my fellow listeners! 62 00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:40,954 Hey, call in if you see a powder-blue convertible with these plates, 63 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,374 - I wrote 'em down, 8-2-3... - SASHA: No, no, no, no. 64 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,625 CHEATED: ...G-A... SASHA: No, stop! 65 00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,293 - (DIAL TONE) - SASHA: Hello? 66 00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:50,046 Cheated, we need to talk about this. Please call back in. 67 00:02:58,388 --> 00:03:00,640 What about that place down on... 68 00:03:00,849 --> 00:03:03,101 I don't know, what you're thinking, some takeout? 69 00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:04,435 I could go for Thai. 70 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,437 Yeah. Spring rolls? 71 00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:07,814 Excuse me. 72 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,566 I was wondering if you've received 73 00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:11,192 any further news about when my friend might be released. 74 00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:13,153 Yeah, but I'm keeping it to myself 75 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,738 because I really enjoy these chats we have every 15 minutes or so. 76 00:03:15,947 --> 00:03:18,366 Maybe don't be friends with criminals. 77 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:23,788 (EXHALES) 78 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,466 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 79 00:03:38,011 --> 00:03:40,847 Or French. What about French? 80 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,474 Peyton Charles, Assistant District Attorney. 81 00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,101 Gotta go. 82 00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:47,645 Do you notice anything missing with this paperwork? 83 00:03:47,854 --> 00:03:49,147 Save your eyes. 84 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,232 It's missing a time stamp, which means 85 00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:54,444 the prisoner is being held in violation of habeas corpus statutes. 86 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,946 - I could put the stamp on now. - Are you offering to commit forgery? 87 00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:00,491 - No. - Get him out. Now. 88 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,660 And hope to hell he doesn't go to the press or sue, 89 00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,912 cause it'll be both our asses. 90 00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:12,253 I read it for the articles. 91 00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:17,926 The prisoner's being released. Fifteen minutes, tops. 92 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,052 Make it five. 93 00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:39,072 Oh, my God. 94 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,157 RAVI: Major? 95 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,327 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 96 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,227 What did they do to you in there? 97 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,771 There seemed to be some lesson I was meant to learn. 98 00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,898 You may need to put me on retainer, young man. 99 00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:15,483 I'm... I'm sorry. And you are? 100 00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:17,694 This is my roommate Ravi, Liv's boss. 101 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:19,737 Ravi, this is Peyton, Liv's roommate. 102 00:05:19,946 --> 00:05:21,072 I did try to call Liv. 103 00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:23,116 - You did what? - Horrible idea. 104 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,326 We'd have two messes to clean up. Have you looked in a mirror? 105 00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,537 I have a feeling people who are friends with social workers 106 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,081 don't ask this question a lot, but who were you fighting with this week? 107 00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,417 Sons of Anarchy, I think. 108 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:34,752 Guards commuted their sentences to 20 minutes of beating the hell out of me. 109 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:37,922 Hey, word of advice. Try not getting arrested the day after you're quoted 110 00:05:38,131 --> 00:05:40,591 on the front page of the paper saying that local police are indifferent 111 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,677 to the disappearance of the underclass. 112 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,762 If you want to sue the city, I can put you in touch with someone. 113 00:05:44,971 --> 00:05:47,390 No, the only witnesses were the guards and the guys whipping my ass. 114 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:51,394 It's a waste of my time. I just wanna find out what happened to Jerome and Eddie. 115 00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:55,898 What? 116 00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:59,152 All right, look... Um... (CLEARS THROAT) 117 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,904 You know the, uh, Emily Sparrow disappearance? 118 00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:05,283 She was kidnapped by, uh, space-alien worshipping, 119 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:08,578 sister-wife collecting cultists. A married couple. 120 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,956 The, uh... 121 00:06:12,165 --> 00:06:16,502 The police found the remains of a number of the skate park kids at their compound. 122 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:17,754 Jerome and Eddie? 123 00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:21,841 You... 124 00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:24,427 You did everything you could. 125 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,847 I mean, they couldn't have had anyone more in their corner. 126 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,057 It's over now. 127 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,604 I've known in my gut that they were gone, 128 00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:39,192 but I've seen things. 129 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,902 If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. 130 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,155 I know who killed Jerome and Eddie, 131 00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:46,991 and it wasn't these two. 132 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,411 Everything the police tell you in this town is a lie. 133 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,791 This is a long way from over. 134 00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:00,004 SASHA: Cheated On In Chattanooga, we're all concerned about you. 135 00:07:00,213 --> 00:07:01,672 - Please call back. - Sorry I'm late. 136 00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:03,508 I had to help a friend with a legal matter. 137 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:04,550 Shh! 138 00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:08,262 Cheated On In Chattanooga threatened to kill her husband's mistress on air. 139 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,307 Sasha, the host, is trying to talk her out of it, but she won't call back in. 140 00:07:11,516 --> 00:07:13,309 Really, Liv? 141 00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:16,521 - I'm surprised you find this trashy, lowest-common... - Zip it! 142 00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:20,566 SASHA: Come on, ladies. The world is full of eligible men, 143 00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:23,319 - and not one of them is... - (ELECTRONIC ZAPPING) 144 00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,363 - What just happened? - No idea. 145 00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:27,365 - (ELECTRONIC DISTURBANCE) - WOMAN: Sasha! 146 00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,575 - Sasha! What is happening? - MAN: Sasha! 147 00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:31,828 - Get an ambulance now! Somebody call an ambulance! - WOMAN: Sasha! 148 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:33,329 MAN: Sasha! WOMAN: Shut it off! 149 00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:34,497 Shut it off! 150 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,586 I stand corrected. This is compelling radio. 151 00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:49,178 RAVI: The electricity entered the body through her hands. 152 00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:51,222 The current then passed through her chest cavity. 153 00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,516 Causing instant cardiac arrest. 154 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,769 Electrocution is an extremely rare cause of accidental death. 155 00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:58,896 Well, wasn't an accident. 156 00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:00,606 According to the fire inspector, 157 00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:02,859 someone intentionally spliced the victim's microphone 158 00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,403 into the station's backup generator. 159 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:08,698 Moment she touched it after the break, bam! 160 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,242 First thing we need to do is find 161 00:08:11,451 --> 00:08:13,536 Cheated On In Chattanooga. 162 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,830 The caller who threatened to murder her husband's mistress on today's show? 163 00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:18,833 Um... 164 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,377 First-time listener. 165 00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:24,672 - Why her? - You know that license plate number she gave on air? 166 00:08:24,881 --> 00:08:26,549 The car's registered to the victim. 167 00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:29,218 Shocking. 168 00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:33,055 Too soon? 169 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,986 Yeah, she was terrified. She sent me downstairs to grab Security. 170 00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:49,197 As the show's producer, you screened the calls, decided 171 00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:51,199 - which made it on the air? - That's right. 172 00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:54,577 It's a local show, but this caller, Cheated On In Chattanooga, 173 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,871 was she calling from Tennessee? 174 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:59,123 Well, our show is streamed nationwide, but I could tell from the Caller ID, 175 00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:02,043 Cheated On In Chattanooga's calls all came from a Seattle area code. 176 00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,586 So, she called the show a lot? 177 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,297 Ten, twelve times over the past few weeks. 178 00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:10,092 She was high drama. A woman on the verge. 179 00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:12,386 - She gave great radio. - We'll need those recordings. 180 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,638 Yeah. 181 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,681 - Hey, Kaley. - Yeah? 182 00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:19,435 Can you get these officers the past couple weeks of shows? 183 00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,271 Now, this week's shows might take a little longer to get our hands on, 184 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,774 but, uh, you'll have plenty to listen to in the meantime. 185 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,360 Unfortunately, we don't archive by caller, so if you want 186 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,779 the Cheated segments, somebody'll have to go through, like, 187 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,281 - 30 hours of audio files. - I'll do it. 188 00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:35,201 Who couldn't use some straight talk? 189 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,453 That was, uh, definitely Sasha's forte. 190 00:09:37,662 --> 00:09:39,705 She was fearless. 191 00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,707 God, I can't believe she's gone. 192 00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:44,043 We made so many hours of radio together. 193 00:09:44,252 --> 00:09:46,212 I'm sorry. I think I need a minute. 194 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,214 Of course. 195 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,466 - CLIVE: I take it Sasha and Jane were close? - Oh, super close. 196 00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:52,134 Like, since college. 197 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:53,719 Sasha was the psych major with the big personality. 198 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:56,138 Jane was the RTF major with the radio skills. 199 00:09:56,347 --> 00:09:58,766 They had this whole Liz Lemon, Jenna Maroney thing going on, 200 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,143 but in a "not funny" way. 201 00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:03,563 You happen to know who Sasha was seeing romantically? 202 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:07,316 Specifically? No. I mean, she talked about her sex life on the air all the time, 203 00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:11,070 but her lovers always got code names. The All-Nighter, Sir Cries-A-Lot. 204 00:10:11,279 --> 00:10:13,155 So, there were a lot of lovers? 205 00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:15,449 From what she said, yeah. 206 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,868 I don't know any names or anything, 207 00:10:18,077 --> 00:10:21,414 but everybody around here knew she had a thing for men already in relationships. 208 00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:25,585 Do you think one of her lovers did this? 209 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,753 We'll look into every possibility. 210 00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:30,590 This way. 211 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,843 This is the line to Sasha's mic. It should ground into this panel, 212 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,637 but the killer ran it over there into the backup generator. 213 00:10:36,846 --> 00:10:39,015 Who has access to this room? 214 00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:42,101 Five stations under the Panopticon umbrella, all operate out of this building. 215 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:45,313 Plus, there's the public tours that tramp through here all day. 216 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:49,734 Last week, some clown wandered into a KGOV live broadcast. 217 00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:54,614 Took half a dozen calls before somebody figured out he wasn't really a city comptroller. 218 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,033 So, basically, anyone could've gotten in here? 219 00:11:00,953 --> 00:11:03,331 SASHA: Yes, manscaping is a thing. 220 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,292 You can't expect a girl to go hacking through the brush 221 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,503 like Indiana Jones looking for the lost Peruvian temple. 222 00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,465 I'm not asking for a Bro-zilian, 223 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,550 just a little yard trimming here and there... 224 00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:17,178 - You need me? - No. 225 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:19,805 It's just that I had some business down at the courthouse 226 00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:22,058 and met your roommate Peyton. 227 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,893 - Bit of a spitfire, isn't she? - Yeah. 228 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,729 - Is she seeing anyone presently? - Probably. 229 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,151 You're asking because you might wanna ask her out? 230 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,237 (SIGHS) For a moment there, I thought I might have to draw you a diagram. 231 00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:36,906 I'll check. 232 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:40,201 She's not generally lacking for male companionship. 233 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,744 I think we had a moment. 234 00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:43,287 Oh! 235 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:51,003 The early shift was displeased that the supply closet is now padlocked. 236 00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:54,006 They'll get over it. This is where we're curing zombie-ism. 237 00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:57,343 I'm mid-experiment. Our guinea rats are behind this door, 238 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,429 rolling hard on Utopium and Max Rager. 239 00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:04,016 Right now, they're probably waving tiny glow sticks in the air. 240 00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:07,436 I think someone needs an escort to the chill-out room. 241 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:11,315 Liv! 242 00:12:18,072 --> 00:12:21,200 RAVI: Their brains are missing, every one of them. 243 00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:23,703 "The Lannisters send their regards." 244 00:12:24,537 --> 00:12:25,538 Ugh. 245 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,623 - Where is the fifth rat? - Don't know. 246 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:30,418 But I can't stress enough the importance of finding him. 247 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:33,754 (RAT SQUEAKS) 248 00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,216 Holy crap, Ravi! He's white and murderous. 249 00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,218 You did it. You made a zombie rat. 250 00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,095 - (RAT SCREECHING) - Oh! 251 00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,139 Where are you going, little buddy? 252 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:47,143 Uh, I believe he was on his way to murder me and eat my brains. 253 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,561 Why isn't he tearing into you? 254 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,980 Oh, it's a zombie thing. You wouldn't understand. 255 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,732 Zombie brains are nasty. 256 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,568 You wouldn't want those. No, you wouldn't. 257 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,487 Uh, that rat you're doting on like a purse Chihuahua 258 00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:01,157 could end civilization as we know it. 259 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,408 (GIGGLES) 260 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,622 Right. The human genome is full of so-called "junk DNA," right? 261 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,875 Veritable sleeper cells of evolution, 262 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:14,336 waiting to be called to action by a change in environment or circumstance. 263 00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:18,924 Enter, a chemical cocktail of tainted Utopium and Max Rager. 264 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,760 Cocktail wakes up dormant genes, 265 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,137 which then transforms an ordinary human or rat 266 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,556 into a zombie at the cellular level. 267 00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:28,768 So, you'll use antibodies from zombie-rat to synthesize a gene therapy-based cure. 268 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,604 That's the plan. 269 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,607 Do you think this is how Oppenheimer felt staring down at the A-bomb? 270 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,400 Like a drama queen? 271 00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:38,944 Or are you talking about his need for self-aggrandizement? 272 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,781 - Aw. - Oh, come on! Gentle ribbing. 273 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,574 Dr. Oppenheimer, you love me. 274 00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:46,452 He loves me. 275 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,206 Cheated On In Chattanooga's phone was a burner, totally untraceable. 276 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,750 New development. Check this out. 277 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,837 Dear God, how about a heads-up, or an NSFW warning? 278 00:13:57,046 --> 00:13:58,631 Is that a blow-up sex doll? 279 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,007 Ooh! I wanna see. 280 00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:02,301 With Sasha Arconi's face taped over the doll's. 281 00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:03,719 There are a bunch of them. 282 00:14:03,928 --> 00:14:05,638 Sasha was in a blood feud with the host 283 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,098 of a rival drive-time sports talk show, The Morning Hurl. 284 00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:11,393 The host, Chuck Burd, asked all of his listeners, "Upchuckers" they're called, 285 00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:15,815 to commit unspeakable acts upon a Sasha Arconi blow-up doll and post them online. 286 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,400 - Delightful. - Sasha gave it as good as she got. 287 00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,528 She was promoting a roundtable interview next week 288 00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:22,488 with several of Chuck's past lovers. 289 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,240 It sounds like we should have a chat with Chuck. 290 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,741 Exactly my thought. 291 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,618 CLIVE: "Great morning sex." 292 00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:29,662 Isn't it enough for you ladies that you're having it? 293 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,789 Why spoil it by talking about it? 294 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,208 See, I find it fascinating that we never talk about your love life. 295 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,585 Really? 'Cause I find it non-negotiable. 296 00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:38,671 - Boundaries, Liv. - "Stressing of boundaries," 297 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,340 one of several signs of a classic distancer. 298 00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,426 Pair that with "avoiding discussion of deep feelings." 299 00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:47,429 - I'm going in now. - "Pulling away when things get real." 300 00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:49,223 Look, it's nice you want to get to know me. 301 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,810 - "Sending mixed signals." - What's gotten into you? 302 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,856 You listen to Sasha's show for one day and now you think you're her? 303 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,858 (SIGHS) Something like that. 304 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,277 I'm not the "let's get real" type, anyway. 305 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,279 Ask DeVore in Vice. She'd tell you. 306 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:07,116 "Idealizing a past partner." You are so textbook. 307 00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:09,159 Seriously, you can stop talking right now. 308 00:15:09,368 --> 00:15:12,037 I know everything there is to know about you. 309 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,373 CHUCK ON RADIO: I'm not saying he should have done what he did. 310 00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:17,668 All I'm saying is, any guy who's been married for more than five minutes 311 00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:20,504 knows exactly how he felt! 312 00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:22,548 Ladies, listen to this. 313 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,843 Your mouths were not made for speaking. 314 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,511 Not for speak... Ooh! 315 00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,638 Huh. 316 00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:32,766 Upchuckers, show of hands, who's screwed an albino chick? 317 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,268 Huh? Anyone? Anyone? 318 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,186 I think what they lack in pigment, 319 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,105 they make up for in nasty. 320 00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:39,732 Am I right? You know, don't ya? 321 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,484 We got a chick in studio, right now, 322 00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:45,863 begging for someone to bang a little color back into her cheeks. 323 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,114 Isn't that right, sweetheart? 324 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,491 What's that? 325 00:15:54,038 --> 00:15:56,332 The feud with Sasha was all for show. 326 00:15:56,540 --> 00:16:00,336 The more PMS-y she acted, the more fired up my listeners got. 327 00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:04,214 The broad was ratings gold. 328 00:16:04,924 --> 00:16:06,008 So, 329 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,426 your relationship with your mom, 330 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:09,637 I'm going with complicated. 331 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:13,557 Extreme narcissism with a tendency towards sexual deviance. 332 00:16:13,766 --> 00:16:15,809 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) "Mommy issues." 333 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,020 All I'm saying is, the inexplicable crying when you're cuffing the carrot, 334 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,773 - there's a reason for that. - Mr. Burd. 335 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,275 This show Sasha was supposed to do about you, 336 00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:26,403 a lot of men would feel threatened by their ex-lovers comparing notes on the radio. 337 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,782 Yeah, unless all of your notes are just, muah! 338 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,992 (CHUCKLES) You know what I mean? 339 00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:34,495 I was just worried she wouldn't be able to fit 'em all into the studio. 340 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,997 If I'm gonna puke in your trash bin, do I need to go through the basketball hoop? 341 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,375 What do I care if one of them said something bad? 342 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,294 You and I both know how women get when you kick 'em loose. 343 00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:44,129 - You kicked a lot of women loose? - Not anymore. 344 00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,048 I'm a happily married man now. 345 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,383 (SNIGGERS) 346 00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:48,592 That's my girl. 347 00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:54,098 - (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) - (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Stay away from my husband, whore! 348 00:16:55,808 --> 00:16:58,102 (GASPS) 349 00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,854 CHUCK: She's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but she is a former gymnast. 350 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,399 Power tumbler. 351 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,943 When your wife found out you were sleeping with Sasha, was she mad enough to kill her? 352 00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:16,453 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Okay, Sasha and I bumped uglies a couple times, 353 00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,915 but I'm not the first guy to have a little hate bang on the side. 354 00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:23,252 No, but you're a guy with an angry wife and a dead lover. 355 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:27,631 You think Oksana is this Chattanooga chick? 356 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:32,219 She's a mail-order bride. She speaks maybe 50 words of English. 357 00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:35,723 The woman could barely order a cup of coffee, let alone fake a Southern accent! 358 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,183 Where were you yesterday between 9:30 and 9:45? 359 00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,978 Talking about ambidextrous hookers on the radio. 360 00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,397 It's a public service piece I like to do. 361 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,942 If you'll excuse me, I've got 42 seconds to take a leak before the news. 362 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,947 For what it's worth, I don't think his wife could've passed for 363 00:17:52,156 --> 00:17:55,284 Cheated On In Chattanooga. Maybe "Cheated On In Chechnya." 364 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:58,162 That doesn't mean she didn't kill her. I'll check her out. 365 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:00,706 (SIGHS) 366 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,958 Where's a vat of bleach when you need one? 367 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,503 CORINNE: Hello? 368 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,053 So you missed our lunch date. 369 00:18:15,179 --> 00:18:16,555 Things have been kind of crazy, 370 00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:19,516 but I'll make it up to you, okay? 371 00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:22,352 Oh, my God. Major, what happened to your face? 372 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:24,146 It's a long story. 373 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,359 I... I broke into a guy's car. 374 00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:32,029 Then the cops put me in a cell with these bikers and... 375 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,531 - Whatever, you know, it, it doesn't matter. - It does matter! 376 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:39,828 Why are you looking at pictures of brains? 377 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,249 You know what? Don't even answer that. 378 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,877 This is so not what I signed up for. 379 00:18:47,086 --> 00:18:49,797 - Look, I, I know I've been... - You keep getting into fights. 380 00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:54,384 You just got arrested. You are in a running battle with someone known as the Candyman? 381 00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:59,056 What the hell? You were the dream combination of superhot but funny 382 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:02,768 and now you're like some whackjob who doesn't shower enough. 383 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,021 - If you give me a second to explain... - You should get some help. 384 00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:16,698 I take it game night's off? 385 00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:17,825 (DOOR SLAMS) 386 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,540 Enter the hero. 387 00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:28,252 - Why so glum, chum? - I can't do this anymore. 388 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:31,088 Moving those kids' bodies, it was too much. 389 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,881 Emotionally, or... 390 00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:34,591 Because physically, it shouldn't've been that hard. 391 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,552 - How heavy are bones? - Damn it, you listen to me! 392 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:41,223 You're not even trying to be careful anymore. 393 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:45,561 The bodies are piling up, and you just expect me to make them disappear. 394 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:49,565 What part of "me having you by the short and curlies" don't you understand? 395 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,066 I'm literally your meal ticket. 396 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,943 Oh, I understand that, but... 397 00:19:53,152 --> 00:19:55,112 What're you gonna do? Hmm? 398 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,072 Are you gonna mosey down to the holding cell and pop open 399 00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:59,575 a couple of craniums a week and hope nobody gets wise? 400 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:03,120 Stop acting like you have options and just do what I tell you to do. 401 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,375 There's a girl in the M.E.'s office. 402 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,086 Pale. 403 00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:12,838 Looks like she plays for Team Z. 404 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,424 Yeah, I know all about her. 405 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,593 She has her own special role in all this. 406 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,803 It would've been nice to get a heads-up. 407 00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:23,098 I'm sorry, dear. You know how I struggle with my communication skills. 408 00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,435 Now, run off and do your job. 409 00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,395 Protect and serve... 410 00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:29,521 Me. 411 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:37,696 SASHA: The guy's a bully, and you're just laying back and taking it. 412 00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:41,200 Act like his bitch, don't expect to be treated like his girlfriend. 413 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,036 LIV: Before this brain, my advice-giving M.O. was gentle. 414 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,412 Sympathetic. 415 00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,164 Now I feel compelled to fix people, 416 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,958 to take them apart, whether they want it or not. 417 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:53,337 SASHA: Don't make me play it. CALLER: But he meditates now. He's becoming a vegetarian. 418 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:57,049 SASHA: You asked for it. Tell her, Miss Lynch. JANE LYNCH: Bitch, get a clue! 419 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:01,178 Bitch, get a clue! 420 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,972 Sasha, I'm sorry! I was gonna tell you, I swear! 421 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:07,434 - Ahhh! Sasha! - I don't want apologies! I want loyalty! 422 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,686 (GASPS) 423 00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:11,647 Well, any time you mix friendship and work, 424 00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:14,483 things can get complicated, but Sasha and I were fine. 425 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,027 CLIVE: So, you didn't mind when she yelled at you and threw things? 426 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,529 - That was cool with you? - You heard about the cupcakes. 427 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:21,615 Yeah, Sasha could go a little psycho, 428 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,451 - but that time I had it coming. - Why is that? 429 00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:27,246 She found out I was sending tapes to other stations. 430 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:31,124 I should've told her, but... I don't know, I... 431 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,253 We started as co-hosts, and then Sasha became this big star 432 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:38,090 and I became just her producer which was fine for a while, but... 433 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,133 But you would've rather been behind the mic. 434 00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:43,178 Anybody in radio says differently, they're lying. 435 00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:45,973 - Did you get any offers? - No. Mmm-mmm. 436 00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:51,603 It takes a special kind of charisma to get people to tune in and listen. Sasha had it. 437 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:54,189 Judging by my lack of offers... 438 00:21:54,398 --> 00:21:56,191 Well, I guess we'll never know. 439 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,694 Sasha was pretty angry when she found out you wanted to leave. 440 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,072 Well, at first, and then she got over it and started fighting for a raise for me. 441 00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:04,908 To entice me to stay. 442 00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:08,912 Oh, we got those last Cheated audio files from archives if you still want them. 443 00:22:09,121 --> 00:22:10,080 Please. 444 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,212 Oyster shucking gloves. Observe. 445 00:22:25,429 --> 00:22:27,389 - Ahhh! - Ravi! 446 00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,891 - Voila. Chain mail for the hand. - Enjoy hell. 447 00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,020 Have you seen Major today? 448 00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:34,938 I missed a call from him yesterday and I haven't heard back. 449 00:22:35,147 --> 00:22:37,566 Oh, you... He's fine. 450 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,819 Well, he's got some stuff going on, romantically. 451 00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:43,989 There was a break-up. In that, Corinne dumped him. 452 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,283 Major doesn't get dumped. There are literally 453 00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:51,455 two reasons to end a relationship with Major, zombie-ism and full-on death. 454 00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,790 - Wait, you don't think Corinne... - Is now a zombie? 455 00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,542 Seems unlikely. 456 00:22:55,751 --> 00:22:58,503 Speaking of roommates, have you spoken with Peyton yet? 457 00:22:58,712 --> 00:23:01,673 Wow. All roads lead to Rome with you lately, huh? 458 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:05,135 I think you need to ask yourself why you're so interested in her. 459 00:23:05,344 --> 00:23:09,598 I don't know. Just saw her in action briefly. She was quite fiery. 460 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,976 And you like them fiery. Someone kind of hard to get, 461 00:23:13,185 --> 00:23:16,104 maybe a little complicated. You want to have to put in some work. 462 00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:18,857 - I don't shy away from a challenge. - Of course you don't. 463 00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:22,027 Because then there's the potential to win. 464 00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:24,529 To rewrite history, be the conqueror. 465 00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:25,989 Wait, no, uh... 466 00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:28,200 What history am I rewriting? 467 00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:31,370 I don't know which parent was distant and made you work for affection. 468 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:32,746 Are you shrinking me? 469 00:23:32,954 --> 00:23:35,082 I'm just pointing out obvious behavior 470 00:23:35,290 --> 00:23:37,834 that could potentially lead to you being hurt. 471 00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:40,003 Okay, I guess I'm shrinking you, 472 00:23:40,212 --> 00:23:43,840 but you really need to learn from the past and not try to relive it. 473 00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:46,134 I can't help it. I'm filled to the brim with insight. 474 00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:48,095 Oh, that's what you're full of? 475 00:23:48,303 --> 00:23:50,806 Just find out if she's dating anyone, okay? 476 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,015 I live to enable. 477 00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:56,937 LIV: Fun fact of zombie-ism: 478 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,855 knowing you're being affected by the brain you just ate 479 00:23:59,064 --> 00:24:01,441 doesn't always stop you from acting on its impulses. 480 00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:05,404 Major? 481 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:07,656 I can see your mopey shadow. Let me in. 482 00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:11,618 Someone needs to tell you that self-sabotaging is not the answer. 483 00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:13,203 You're allowed to be happy. 484 00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:19,209 Oh, Major. Who did this to you? 485 00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:21,628 I can't talk about fight club. 486 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:24,714 - Crap. - I want to know what happened! 487 00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:26,508 Would you believe shark attack? 488 00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:30,220 Did you go to the skate park again? 489 00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:32,431 Rough night in jail. 490 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,182 Turns out the police take umbrage when you accuse them of negligence. 491 00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:37,436 You were in jail? Why didn't you... 492 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:40,730 You did call me. You called me from jail and I didn't answer. 493 00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:43,692 It's fine, really. I'm glad you're here now. 494 00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:45,360 (SIGHS) 495 00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:51,825 You made it on the police blotter? 496 00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:54,703 One of the kids at Helton Shelter brought that into a group session this morning. 497 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:57,330 Unfortunately, my bosses weren't nearly as impressed 498 00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:59,249 with my "street cred" as this kid was, 499 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,710 so if you hear of anyone looking for a youth counselor 500 00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:04,421 - with a rap sheet... - They fired you. 501 00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:06,923 - Major, I'm so sorry. - Look at me. 502 00:25:07,132 --> 00:25:09,176 (SCOFFS) I didn't give them much choice. 503 00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:14,097 I need to talk to you about something. 504 00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:16,224 I think you're the only one who might listen to me. 505 00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,976 Of course. 506 00:25:18,185 --> 00:25:20,270 Those people in the woods didn't kill Jerome and Eddie. 507 00:25:20,479 --> 00:25:22,689 All right? It was a drug dealer named Julien Dupont. 508 00:25:22,898 --> 00:25:23,982 The guy the kids call "the Candyman." 509 00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:25,484 They found their remains at the house. 510 00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:27,694 Look, I'm telling you it wasn't them, all right? 511 00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:29,946 This Dupont guy was wearing Jerome's shoes. 512 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:32,282 He, he practically admitted to killing him. 513 00:25:32,491 --> 00:25:34,784 The police, they're covering this up. Now, don't ask me why. 514 00:25:34,993 --> 00:25:38,163 - The DNA was verified. - Just listen, please. 515 00:25:38,371 --> 00:25:40,415 All right? I saw something in the Candyman's car 516 00:25:40,624 --> 00:25:42,334 and it's gonna sound crazy, all right? 517 00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,961 - But I know what I saw. - Okay. 518 00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,297 There was an ice chest in the passenger seat. 519 00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:50,091 It had a brain inside. 520 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:54,429 A human brain. I'm sure of it. 521 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:05,941 Brains, huh? 522 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:07,776 - You think I'm crazy. - No! 523 00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,238 It's just that 524 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:14,449 if the man worked for a butcher shop like he told the police, 525 00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,327 then it seems logical the brains came from an animal. 526 00:26:17,536 --> 00:26:20,664 No, no, no. I've been looking at pictures of human and cow brains for hours, 527 00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:23,041 and yes, I know how crazy that sounds, but, Liv, 528 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:26,461 a cow's brain is baseball-sized. That's not what this was! 529 00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:30,507 I need someone to believe me. 530 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:34,177 I'd feel so much better if that someone was you. 531 00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:37,013 I know how close you and Jerome were, 532 00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:39,224 how responsible you felt for him. 533 00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:42,310 I think you holding on to this case is a way of you holding on to him. 534 00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:47,482 (SIGHS) 535 00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:49,609 You're right. 536 00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:54,531 I don't want you to be, but you are. 537 00:26:54,739 --> 00:26:57,158 I know it's not easy to let go. 538 00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:59,578 I've... I've got to get my act together 539 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,997 'cause this... This isn't who I am. 540 00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:04,457 You know, if I'm gonna get into a fight with a biker gang, 541 00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,459 it should be because I accidentally knocked over 542 00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:09,963 a row of their hogs outside a dive bar. 543 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:13,550 Just promise me that you'll back off from this Julien guy. 544 00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:14,676 I promise. 545 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,179 You're a good friend, Liv. 546 00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:42,287 LIV: Every time Major calls me his friend, I ache. 547 00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:44,914 I miss the "girl" modifier, but the truth is, 548 00:27:45,123 --> 00:27:47,500 we were practically besties from the moment we met. 549 00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:49,878 That's why we were so great together. 550 00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:52,589 Underneath all the love and the desire to tear each other's clothes off, 551 00:27:52,797 --> 00:27:56,259 was the person I wanted to share every detail of my life with. 552 00:27:56,468 --> 00:28:00,347 Without that, it's not really even a relationship, is it? 553 00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:04,059 Is this just sex? Is that who you are? A zombie booty call? 554 00:28:06,978 --> 00:28:10,857 Sorry. I instinctively take off my shirt every time someone knocks at the door. 555 00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:12,233 What are we doing? 556 00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:19,199 I just finished dyeing my roots. 557 00:28:19,407 --> 00:28:21,951 We can't all pull off the ethereal Tinker Bell look. 558 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,622 I'm not sure what you're up to, but it seems to involve spiraling. 559 00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:29,626 We're not friends. Shouldn't friendship be the foundation of a relationship? 560 00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:34,631 It should be the foundation of year two of a relationship and beyond, but right now, 561 00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:36,675 what I really wanna do is spend epic amounts of time 562 00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:38,426 naked with you, and the friendship will come. 563 00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:40,762 Would we even be together if we weren't both zombies? 564 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:42,430 Probably not. 565 00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:45,558 My world was the music scene, you were an ER doctor. 566 00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,727 I suppose I could've OD'd, would have been a hell of a meet-cute, 567 00:28:47,936 --> 00:28:50,355 but what does it matter? Because 568 00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:52,857 here we are. Zombies together. 569 00:28:53,066 --> 00:28:53,983 It matters. 570 00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:56,486 It doesn't. 571 00:28:56,695 --> 00:28:58,988 We have nothing in common other than being half-dead. 572 00:28:59,197 --> 00:29:02,325 - That's not the basis of a healthy relationship. - I have a feeling 573 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,161 that the woman whose brain you ate 574 00:29:05,370 --> 00:29:07,122 never had a healthy relationship in her life. 575 00:29:07,330 --> 00:29:08,373 How do you know it was a woman? 576 00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:12,919 She's exhausting. 577 00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:16,005 I thought that being a relationship and sex expert might be a little fun, but... 578 00:29:16,214 --> 00:29:17,090 Sorry, excuse me. 579 00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,967 A what expert? 580 00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:22,512 (LIV CHUCKLES) 581 00:29:23,471 --> 00:29:24,806 - Ohhh! - (KISSING) 582 00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:26,975 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 583 00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:34,441 - (CHUCKLES) - (BREATHING HEAVILY) 584 00:29:36,776 --> 00:29:39,320 - (PANTING) - SASHA: Play it again, Sam. 585 00:29:41,239 --> 00:29:42,282 (GASPS) 586 00:29:43,742 --> 00:29:44,701 Sam? 587 00:29:47,537 --> 00:29:50,540 Guy you're secretly pretending I am, or a vision? 588 00:29:50,749 --> 00:29:52,625 A vision. A clue. 589 00:29:54,544 --> 00:29:55,670 Then where were we? 590 00:30:00,341 --> 00:30:02,343 So, who's the guy? 591 00:30:04,471 --> 00:30:06,514 - Hmm? - Lowell Tracey. 592 00:30:07,432 --> 00:30:10,059 Oh? Broody musician. 593 00:30:10,268 --> 00:30:11,978 Not your usual type. 594 00:30:12,187 --> 00:30:14,731 But, you know, you're not the usual Liv, are you? 595 00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:16,733 You're looking at the new normal, sister. 596 00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:19,986 Well, if you're happy, I'm happy for you. 597 00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:23,865 - Even though I still think you belong with someone else. - Enough about me. 598 00:30:24,073 --> 00:30:26,868 Who have you been sailing with lately and how big is his boat? 599 00:30:28,453 --> 00:30:31,581 (CHUCKLES) Wow. A size joke, really? 600 00:30:31,790 --> 00:30:33,917 Oh, gosh, you've changed. Um... 601 00:30:35,585 --> 00:30:38,338 Actually, the harbor is empty. 602 00:30:38,505 --> 00:30:40,882 I mean, there's this startup guy Alex who keeps calling, 603 00:30:41,090 --> 00:30:44,260 and I'm supposed to meet up with Paolo when the Sounders get back from Germany. 604 00:30:44,469 --> 00:30:47,889 Shannon Hargens still asks me out every time I kick his ass in court. (CHUCKLES) 605 00:30:48,097 --> 00:30:52,435 Honestly though, I would rather kick ass in court than see any of them. 606 00:30:52,644 --> 00:30:54,312 SASHA: Give a guy some direction. 607 00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:57,857 If you're too shy to tell him where he can and can't put it, 608 00:30:58,066 --> 00:31:01,027 you can't complain if it goes where you don't want it to go. 609 00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:04,113 What's up? 610 00:31:04,322 --> 00:31:06,574 We've been in here for an hour and 41 minutes. Do I really have to ask again? 611 00:31:08,201 --> 00:31:09,953 Is she or is she not dating someone? 612 00:31:10,161 --> 00:31:13,081 A tech wunderkind, a professional soccer player, 613 00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:15,124 and a future Supreme Court justice. 614 00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:16,417 So she's still looking. 615 00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:18,878 Straight talk? 616 00:31:19,087 --> 00:31:20,630 I don't think you and Peyton work. 617 00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,216 True, you like a challenge and Peyton is certainly that, 618 00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:26,678 but she dates guys you'd find in a "most eligible bachelors on the planet" catalog, 619 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:28,888 if such a thing existed. 620 00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:32,225 And you don't think I'd be featured in the pages of Hunks Quarterly? 621 00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:35,270 Ravi, she's a lawyer who looks like Victoria's Secret model. 622 00:31:35,478 --> 00:31:38,648 Liv, I'm a tall doctor with fantastic hair and a British accent. 623 00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:41,276 But to hear you tell it, she's out of my league. 624 00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:44,153 I mean, I don't even need to be this attractive. 625 00:31:44,362 --> 00:31:45,613 It's just icing. 626 00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:47,198 Besides, Peyton and I, 627 00:31:48,783 --> 00:31:50,743 we had a moment. 628 00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:53,121 I'm sure that's how it seemed, but I've known Peyton since college, 629 00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:57,166 and literally, every man who's ever met her thought that they had a moment. 630 00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:59,711 I've been a witness to all those poor guys who liked a challenge. 631 00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:04,048 I've watched them approach her table, full of hope. I've seen her turn them into dust. 632 00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:07,176 She's been asked out so much, she doesn't bother with niceties. 633 00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:08,344 - Just trying to help. - Thank you. 634 00:32:08,553 --> 00:32:09,762 You know, I, uh... 635 00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:12,515 I rescind all inquiries into the subject. 636 00:32:12,724 --> 00:32:16,561 You know, I'm a grown man who knows a moment when he experiences one. 637 00:32:16,769 --> 00:32:19,314 Oh, and my "distant parents"? 638 00:32:19,522 --> 00:32:22,442 They're fairly certain I put the moon in the sky. 639 00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:25,111 This brain you're on? She's a bit of an ass. 640 00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:27,655 Thanks for the straight talk. 641 00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:41,169 It cuts down on the awkward silence after you've just done 642 00:32:41,377 --> 00:32:44,255 possible irreparable damage to a relationship of your own. 643 00:32:46,174 --> 00:32:47,675 MAN: Got those rainy day blues? 644 00:32:47,884 --> 00:32:49,636 Y'all come on down to S'il Vous Plait Beignet... 645 00:32:49,844 --> 00:32:51,638 WOMAN: (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) It's high time you experience 646 00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:53,890 the warmth of our Southern hospitality. 647 00:32:54,098 --> 00:32:55,475 MAN: Piping hot coffee... 648 00:32:55,683 --> 00:32:56,726 Gonna go see Clive. 649 00:32:58,269 --> 00:33:00,605 Chuck's mail-order gymnast has an alibi. 650 00:33:00,813 --> 00:33:04,651 A dozen witnesses who saw her at a "Booty Boot Camp." 651 00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:07,278 - You look like you've got something. - Listen to this. 652 00:33:07,487 --> 00:33:08,863 It's a commercial that ran last week 653 00:33:09,072 --> 00:33:10,949 during Great Morning Sex. I've got it cued up. 654 00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:12,742 MAN: Got those rainy day blues? 655 00:33:12,951 --> 00:33:15,453 Y'all come on down to S'il Vous Plait, Beignet... 656 00:33:15,662 --> 00:33:19,624 WOMAN: It's high time you experience the warmth of our Southern hospitality. 657 00:33:19,832 --> 00:33:21,501 MAN: Piping hot coffee... 658 00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:25,004 - That woman's voice... - It's Cheated On In Chattanooga! 659 00:33:25,213 --> 00:33:27,924 They should be able to tell us at the radio station who recorded it. 660 00:33:30,593 --> 00:33:32,971 Sorry. Radio. Where even a memorial broadcast 661 00:33:33,179 --> 00:33:35,765 comes with a deadline and six commercial breaks. 662 00:33:35,974 --> 00:33:38,434 - Did those last audio files help? - Listen for yourself. 663 00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:46,776 Oh, my God. That's Cheated On In Chattanooga. 664 00:33:46,985 --> 00:33:48,403 I should have recognized the voice. 665 00:33:48,611 --> 00:33:50,363 So who recorded it? An ad agency? 666 00:33:50,571 --> 00:33:52,490 Usually, but this time it was Kaley. 667 00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:55,618 - The assistant? - She did the temp track. 668 00:33:55,827 --> 00:33:58,955 We mock ads up to pitch new customers, but Kaley's Southern accent 669 00:33:59,163 --> 00:34:02,792 was so good, the Beignet people just kept her in the finished product. 670 00:34:03,001 --> 00:34:05,336 - You don't think Kaley... - Do you know where Kaley is now? 671 00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:07,797 Uh, home, I guess. It's her day off. 672 00:34:09,507 --> 00:34:10,675 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 673 00:34:16,305 --> 00:34:17,306 Detectives? 674 00:34:18,349 --> 00:34:19,809 What do you want? 675 00:34:20,018 --> 00:34:22,061 I don't know about him, but I'd like to experience 676 00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:24,355 "the warmth of some Southern hospitality." 677 00:34:24,564 --> 00:34:26,524 Ms. Taylor, where were you at the time of Sasha's murder? 678 00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:30,653 I was on a coffee run getting Sasha's emergency soy vanilla latte. 679 00:34:30,862 --> 00:34:33,531 You have a receipt? Can anyone place you there? A barista? 680 00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:36,409 I was in the car, on my way there, listening to the show. 681 00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:38,703 When I heard the commotion, I turned around and I drove back. 682 00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:41,956 So at the time of the murder, you say you were driving around on an errand 683 00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:44,792 that you didn't complete, during which no one saw you? 684 00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:48,629 That also gave you plenty of time to call in as Cheated On In Chattanooga. 685 00:34:48,838 --> 00:34:50,089 What? What... 686 00:34:50,298 --> 00:34:51,841 - What makes you think I... - MAN: Hey, babe. 687 00:34:53,384 --> 00:34:54,552 Everything okay? 688 00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,721 "Play It Again, Sam." 689 00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:59,724 What makes us think you're Cheated On In Chattanooga? 690 00:34:59,932 --> 00:35:02,727 We have a recording of you doing a Southern accent in a commercial. 691 00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:05,938 The boys at the police lab matched your voice to the Cheated calls. 692 00:35:06,147 --> 00:35:09,275 We also have an eyewitness to the affair between Sasha and this man. 693 00:35:12,278 --> 00:35:13,696 You were discreet, huh? 694 00:35:13,905 --> 00:35:16,157 You had motive and opportunity. 695 00:35:16,365 --> 00:35:19,452 You told the whole world you were gonna murder Sasha. 696 00:35:19,660 --> 00:35:22,080 I knew you were never gonna let it go. 697 00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:26,542 Kaley Taylor, you're under arrest for the murder of Sasha Arconi. 698 00:35:26,751 --> 00:35:28,044 SAM: Not cool, babe. 699 00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:32,590 Sam and I were going through a rough time last year. 700 00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:35,843 He got drunk at a work party and Sasha seduced him. 701 00:35:36,052 --> 00:35:38,763 Cheated On In Chattanooga just seemed like a good way to mess with her head, 702 00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:40,807 get even, without ruining my career. 703 00:35:41,766 --> 00:35:44,185 That's all it was. 704 00:35:44,393 --> 00:35:47,271 You didn't think anybody would recognize the same fake accent you used in the Beignet ads? 705 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,483 I'm from South Carolina, that "fake accent," 706 00:35:50,691 --> 00:35:52,693 (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) that's my real voice, y'all. 707 00:35:52,902 --> 00:35:55,113 And no, I didn't think anyone was gonna remember an ad that 708 00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:57,448 aired exactly once before the bakery folded a year ago. 709 00:35:57,657 --> 00:35:59,617 The ad aired last week. We've got it on tape. 710 00:35:59,826 --> 00:36:01,285 For a business that doesn't exist? 711 00:36:02,245 --> 00:36:03,371 I highly doubt that. 712 00:36:05,873 --> 00:36:08,668 So when you found out your husband and your boss were having these trysts, 713 00:36:08,835 --> 00:36:11,963 you said nothing to her? You just hatched this elaborate plan? 714 00:36:12,171 --> 00:36:14,298 If I had confronted Sasha directly, 715 00:36:14,507 --> 00:36:16,801 she would have blackballed me in the industry, like she did to Jane. 716 00:36:17,009 --> 00:36:18,344 Sasha blackballed Jane? 717 00:36:18,553 --> 00:36:20,888 When she found out Jane was sending out tapes, 718 00:36:21,097 --> 00:36:23,474 Sasha ran her down to the station managers in every top 100 market in the country. 719 00:36:23,683 --> 00:36:26,769 Liv, she's right about S'il Vous Plait, Beignet. 720 00:36:26,978 --> 00:36:29,021 According to Yelp, they shut their doors last year. 721 00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:33,109 The only way that ad gets on the recording is if Jane plants it there. 722 00:36:33,317 --> 00:36:34,569 She wanted us to put it together. 723 00:36:34,777 --> 00:36:37,113 Sasha destroyed Jane's career. 724 00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:39,115 Jane wanted to kill her. 725 00:36:39,323 --> 00:36:42,618 Kaley's on-air death threat gave her the perfect opportunity. 726 00:36:42,827 --> 00:36:45,121 - Where's Jane now? - At the station, 727 00:36:45,329 --> 00:36:47,665 hosting Sasha's memorial broadcast. 728 00:36:47,874 --> 00:36:50,710 She's finally getting her big break. 729 00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:54,505 Good evening and welcome. I'm Jane Bowman. 730 00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,591 Tonight we'll be celebrating the life and work 731 00:36:56,799 --> 00:37:00,511 of Sasha Arconi, who is gone too soon. 732 00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,847 Sasha made us a community. 733 00:37:03,055 --> 00:37:07,476 A mutual support system. A sisterhood, linked by one voice. 734 00:37:07,685 --> 00:37:09,270 I hope you'll stick with me as I do 735 00:37:09,478 --> 00:37:12,523 my best to take the show into its second decade. 736 00:37:12,732 --> 00:37:15,067 Give us a call here. Let's get it all out there. 737 00:37:15,276 --> 00:37:19,363 Line One, you're on the air. What are you going to miss most about Sasha? 738 00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:22,783 CALLER 1: Everything, 'cause you suck. 739 00:37:22,992 --> 00:37:26,996 I know emotions are running high, but let's try to keep things positive. 740 00:37:27,205 --> 00:37:29,957 - Line two. - (SNORING LOUDLY) 741 00:37:30,166 --> 00:37:31,250 (HANGS UP) 742 00:37:34,545 --> 00:37:37,590 JANE: So, this must be how substitute teachers feel. 743 00:37:42,428 --> 00:37:46,224 Looks like my tenure here won't be quite as long as I'd hoped. 744 00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:50,228 I'll leave you, her adoring public, with this. 745 00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:52,063 Sasha didn't care about our problems. 746 00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:54,232 Sasha cared about Sasha. During commercials, 747 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,234 she'd laugh at the crazies who called in. 748 00:37:56,442 --> 00:37:58,736 She slept with our boyfriends and our husbands. 749 00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:01,405 And when I decided I wanted to live my dream 750 00:38:01,614 --> 00:38:03,574 of being in front of the mic instead of behind it, 751 00:38:03,783 --> 00:38:06,911 she destroyed my chances with every station manager on the West Coast. 752 00:38:08,913 --> 00:38:13,709 I was her biggest fan, and she killed my dreams. 753 00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:17,088 Well, I hope there's radio in hell and I hope you're listening, Sasha. 754 00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,923 - Because you can go... - Jane Bowman. 755 00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:22,260 You're under arrest for the murder of Sasha Arconi. 756 00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:24,136 Any last words for Sasha's fans? 757 00:38:26,597 --> 00:38:28,140 JANE LYNCH: Bitch, get a clue! 758 00:38:35,231 --> 00:38:38,150 - (SHOWER RUNNING) - I'm heading over to Lowell's place. 759 00:38:38,359 --> 00:38:40,111 PEYTON: Yeah, won't wait up. 760 00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:51,163 (CELL PHONE RINGING AND VIBRATING) 761 00:38:55,793 --> 00:38:57,753 Oh, Ravi. 762 00:38:57,962 --> 00:39:00,715 PEYTON: Hey, can you get that for me? I'll be out in a sec. 763 00:39:04,885 --> 00:39:07,054 - Peyton's phone. - Liv? 764 00:39:07,263 --> 00:39:09,432 Is, uh... (CLEARS THROAT) I'd like to speak to Peyton. 765 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,976 Hi, Ravi. Yeah, I'll, um, get her. 766 00:39:14,895 --> 00:39:17,356 - It's Ravi. - Who? 767 00:39:17,565 --> 00:39:19,191 (WHISPERING) My boss, from the morgue. 768 00:39:22,820 --> 00:39:24,405 (WHISPERING) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. British guy. 769 00:39:24,613 --> 00:39:26,115 Hi. 770 00:39:26,324 --> 00:39:27,658 LIV: It's bad enough that I've spent the past few days 771 00:39:27,867 --> 00:39:29,535 dispensing the advice of a hypocrite. 772 00:39:29,744 --> 00:39:31,704 If I don't get out of here in the next three seconds, 773 00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:33,497 I'm gonna witness a train wreck. 774 00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:36,334 Let this be a lesson. Stay out of people's business. 775 00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:38,544 - Keep your advice to yourself. - Hey, Liv. 776 00:39:43,299 --> 00:39:45,217 Um, your boss just, uh... 777 00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:46,302 You should say yes. 778 00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:47,762 Is that weird for you? 779 00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:49,347 Do it. 780 00:39:50,890 --> 00:39:53,100 Um, yes. That... That sounds great. 781 00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:57,063 LIV: Okay. So my pledge to keep my advice to myself didn't last long. 782 00:39:57,271 --> 00:40:00,066 Maybe I'm too reticent on the advice front. What would I say? 783 00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:04,403 Ravi, never listen to me again. 784 00:40:04,612 --> 00:40:07,990 You are too selfless, too wrapped up in saving me. 785 00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:10,910 Chill out. Slow and steady wins the race. 786 00:40:11,118 --> 00:40:12,620 I can't have you burning out. 787 00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:14,538 Argh! Argh! 788 00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,673 LIV: Because without you, 789 00:40:24,882 --> 00:40:26,008 I'm nothing. 790 00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:30,930 And, Major, 791 00:40:31,138 --> 00:40:33,182 don't lose sight of who you are. 792 00:40:33,391 --> 00:40:35,810 You are sweetness and light. 793 00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:38,229 That's who I fell in love with, 794 00:40:38,437 --> 00:40:40,314 who the next girl will fall in love with. 795 00:40:45,236 --> 00:40:47,196 Don't pile tragedy on tragedy. 796 00:40:56,288 --> 00:40:58,707 And what advice would you give yourself, Liv? 797 00:40:58,916 --> 00:41:00,918 - (ALARM BEEPING) - Would you even take it? 798 00:41:09,427 --> 00:41:11,929 How about trying to live in the moment for once? 799 00:41:18,185 --> 00:41:20,354 Being grateful for the simple pleasures. 800 00:41:27,736 --> 00:41:30,448 You don't need to know why you feel good. 801 00:41:30,656 --> 00:41:31,782 Just enjoy the ride. 802 00:41:43,919 --> 00:41:45,379 Jerome! 803 00:41:45,588 --> 00:41:47,298 Settle down, Jerome. 804 00:41:47,506 --> 00:41:48,591 It's not a long ride. 805 00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:50,301 (GASPS) 806 00:41:55,139 --> 00:41:56,682 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 807 00:41:56,891 --> 00:41:57,808 (ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS)