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00:00:01,211 --> 00:00:02,712
LIV: Previously on iZombie...
2
00:00:02,921 --> 00:00:04,005
You think you can cure this?
3
00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:05,423
You were expecting
to stay like this forever?
4
00:00:05,632 --> 00:00:07,217
So you're using the rats
to search for a cure?
5
00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:08,134
Have you guys seen my friend?
6
00:00:08,343 --> 00:00:09,469
Brother, I just saw him.
7
00:00:09,678 --> 00:00:10,845
We'll have you
to him in no time.
8
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,681
Major found the Candyman
and someone else.
9
00:00:12,889 --> 00:00:14,683
He thinks they're responsible
for the missing kids.
10
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:17,143
LIV: Major is not gonna let
this go. He'll go after them.
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00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,146
- (POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
- Whoa!
12
00:00:20,355 --> 00:00:21,940
Look, that's him,
the Candyman.
13
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,484
He's got a human brain
in that ice chest right there!
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GUARD: A little thank you for
the Seattle Observer article.
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Yes.
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00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:36,913
Yes.
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00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:38,581
Yes.
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Oh! No.
19
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,085
No.
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00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:43,712
No! Aieee!
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00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,881
Ow! I forgot the safe word.
What's the safe word?
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Kelly Clarkson! Ping pong!
(GASPS)
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Ah! Ah, yes.
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That's better.
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00:00:53,972 --> 00:00:55,265
That's the ticket.
26
00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:58,435
That's a good boy.
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00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:02,272
- Your reward in the kingdom
of heaven will be great.
- Enough.
28
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:06,985
Just relax.
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Breathe into it.
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LIV: I'd forgotten what
it was like to be touched.
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This foot-rub dessert
is tasty.
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- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- The main course was...
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00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:19,497
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
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00:01:19,706 --> 00:01:21,791
Do you need to grab
that very early phone call?
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00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:24,836
(SIGHS)
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00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:33,136
WOMAN ON RADIO: A juicy,
mouth-watering
thick slab of beef.
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LIV: "Life" or whatever
we zombies agree to call
the daily grind,
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means being bombarded
with almost constant reminders
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of the things we can
no longer enjoy.
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WOMAN ON RADIO:...dripping
with aged cheddar cheese.
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LIV: Cheeseburgers.
MAN ON RADIO: Give
the gift of life. Give blood.
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00:01:47,025 --> 00:01:49,319
LIV: A rosy complexion.
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WOMAN ON RADIO: Estate
planning, the peace of mind
that lasts for generations.
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LIV: Progeny.
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WOMAN ON RADIO:
Have your assets preserved
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00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,742
to ensure the wellbeing
of your loved ones.
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LIV: Sex, on the other hand...
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00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,413
Ahhh!
49
00:02:00,622 --> 00:02:02,373
That's back on the menu
for this zombie.
50
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,878
SASHA ON RADIO:
...frequent caller
Cheated On In Chattanooga,
51
00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:10,965
who thinks her husband
might be getting his kicks
at another woman's shoe store.
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Cheated, what's the 411?
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CHEATED (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT):
I finally caught the two of
'em, followed 'em to a hotel.
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They were basically
dry humping in the lobby.
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SASHA: Cheated,
you know I always
give it to you straight.
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00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,977
It's time to cut
that man loose.
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CHEATED: Oh, I'm keepin'
my man, Dr. Sasha.
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It's the slut
he's hooking up with
that I'm gonna murder.
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(CAR HONKS)
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SASHA: I know I talk a lot
about self-empowerment, but
that doesn't include murder.
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00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,826
CHEATED: Maybe
I could get some help
from my fellow listeners!
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00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:40,954
Hey, call in if you see
a powder-blue convertible
with these plates,
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00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,374
- I wrote 'em down, 8-2-3...
- SASHA: No, no, no, no.
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00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,625
CHEATED: ...G-A...
SASHA: No, stop!
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- (DIAL TONE)
- SASHA: Hello?
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00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:50,046
Cheated, we need to talk about
this. Please call back in.
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00:02:58,388 --> 00:03:00,640
What about that place
down on...
68
00:03:00,849 --> 00:03:03,101
I don't know,
what you're thinking,
some takeout?
69
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:04,435
I could go for Thai.
70
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,437
Yeah. Spring rolls?
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00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:07,814
Excuse me.
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00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,566
I was wondering
if you've received
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00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:11,192
any further news about when
my friend might be released.
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00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:13,153
Yeah, but I'm
keeping it to myself
75
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,738
because I really enjoy
these chats we have
every 15 minutes or so.
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00:03:15,947 --> 00:03:18,366
Maybe don't be friends
with criminals.
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00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:23,788
(EXHALES)
78
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,466
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
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00:03:38,011 --> 00:03:40,847
Or French.
What about French?
80
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,474
Peyton Charles,
Assistant District Attorney.
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00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,101
Gotta go.
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Do you notice anything missing
with this paperwork?
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00:03:47,854 --> 00:03:49,147
Save your eyes.
84
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,232
It's missing a time stamp,
which means
85
00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:54,444
the prisoner is being
held in violation of
habeas corpus statutes.
86
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,946
- I could put the stamp on now.
- Are you offering
to commit forgery?
87
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:00,491
- No.
- Get him out. Now.
88
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,660
And hope to hell
he doesn't go to
the press or sue,
89
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,912
cause it'll be
both our asses.
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00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:12,253
I read it for the articles.
91
00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:17,926
The prisoner's being released.
Fifteen minutes, tops.
92
00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,052
Make it five.
93
00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:39,072
Oh, my God.
94
00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,157
RAVI: Major?
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00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,327
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
96
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,227
What did they do to you
in there?
97
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,771
There seemed to be some lesson
I was meant to learn.
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00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,898
You may need to put me
on retainer, young man.
99
00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:15,483
I'm... I'm sorry. And you are?
100
00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:17,694
This is my roommate Ravi,
Liv's boss.
101
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:19,737
Ravi, this is Peyton,
Liv's roommate.
102
00:05:19,946 --> 00:05:21,072
I did try to call Liv.
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- You did what?
- Horrible idea.
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We'd have
two messes to clean up.
Have you looked in a mirror?
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00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,537
I have a feeling
people who are friends
with social workers
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00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,081
don't ask this question a lot,
but who were you fighting with
this week?
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00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,417
Sons of Anarchy, I think.
108
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:34,752
Guards commuted their
sentences to 20 minutes
of beating the hell out of me.
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00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:37,922
Hey, word of advice.
Try not getting arrested
the day after you're quoted
110
00:05:38,131 --> 00:05:40,591
on the front page of the paper
saying that local police
are indifferent
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00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,677
to the disappearance
of the underclass.
112
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,762
If you want to sue the city,
I can put you in touch
with someone.
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00:05:44,971 --> 00:05:47,390
No, the only witnesses
were the guards and
the guys whipping my ass.
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00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:51,394
It's a waste of my time.
I just wanna find out what
happened to Jerome and Eddie.
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00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:55,898
What?
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00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:59,152
All right, look... Um...
(CLEARS THROAT)
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00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,904
You know the, uh,
Emily Sparrow disappearance?
118
00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:05,283
She was kidnapped by, uh,
space-alien worshipping,
119
00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:08,578
sister-wife collecting
cultists. A married couple.
120
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,956
The, uh...
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00:06:12,165 --> 00:06:16,502
The police found the remains
of a number of the skate park
kids at their compound.
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00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:17,754
Jerome and Eddie?
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00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:21,841
You...
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00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:24,427
You did everything you could.
125
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I mean, they couldn't have had
anyone more in their corner.
126
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It's over now.
127
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I've known in my gut
that they were gone,
128
00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:39,192
but I've seen things.
129
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,902
If I told you,
you wouldn't believe me.
130
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,155
I know who killed
Jerome and Eddie,
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00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:46,991
and it wasn't these two.
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00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,411
Everything the police tell you
in this town is a lie.
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00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,791
This is a long way from over.
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00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:00,004
SASHA:
Cheated On In Chattanooga,
we're all concerned about you.
135
00:07:00,213 --> 00:07:01,672
- Please call back.
- Sorry I'm late.
136
00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:03,508
I had to help a friend
with a legal matter.
137
00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:04,550
Shh!
138
00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:08,262
Cheated On In Chattanooga
threatened to kill her
husband's mistress on air.
139
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,307
Sasha, the host, is
trying to talk her out of it,
but she won't call back in.
140
00:07:11,516 --> 00:07:13,309
Really, Liv?
141
00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:16,521
- I'm surprised you find this
trashy, lowest-common...
- Zip it!
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00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:20,566
SASHA: Come on, ladies.
The world is full
of eligible men,
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00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:23,319
- and not one of them is...
- (ELECTRONIC ZAPPING)
144
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,363
- What just happened?
- No idea.
145
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:27,365
- (ELECTRONIC DISTURBANCE)
- WOMAN: Sasha!
146
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,575
- Sasha! What is happening?
- MAN: Sasha!
147
00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:31,828
- Get an ambulance now!
Somebody call an ambulance!
- WOMAN: Sasha!
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00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:33,329
MAN: Sasha!
WOMAN: Shut it off!
149
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:34,497
Shut it off!
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00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,586
I stand corrected.
This is compelling radio.
151
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:49,178
RAVI: The electricity entered
the body through her hands.
152
00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:51,222
The current then passed
through her chest cavity.
153
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,516
Causing instant
cardiac arrest.
154
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,769
Electrocution is
an extremely rare cause
of accidental death.
155
00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:58,896
Well, wasn't an accident.
156
00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:00,606
According to the
fire inspector,
157
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:02,859
someone intentionally spliced
the victim's microphone
158
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,403
into the station's
backup generator.
159
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:08,698
Moment she touched it
after the break, bam!
160
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,242
First thing we need to do
is find
161
00:08:11,451 --> 00:08:13,536
Cheated On In Chattanooga.
162
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,830
The caller who threatened to
murder her husband's mistress
on today's show?
163
00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:18,833
Um...
164
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,377
First-time listener.
165
00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:24,672
- Why her?
- You know that license plate
number she gave on air?
166
00:08:24,881 --> 00:08:26,549
The car's registered
to the victim.
167
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:29,218
Shocking.
168
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:33,055
Too soon?
169
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,986
Yeah, she was terrified.
She sent me downstairs
to grab Security.
170
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:49,197
As the show's producer, you
screened the calls, decided
171
00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:51,199
- which made it on the air?
- That's right.
172
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:54,577
It's a local show,
but this caller,
Cheated On In Chattanooga,
173
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,871
was she calling
from Tennessee?
174
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:59,123
Well, our show is streamed
nationwide, but I could
tell from the Caller ID,
175
00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:02,043
Cheated On In Chattanooga's
calls all came from
a Seattle area code.
176
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,586
So, she called
the show a lot?
177
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,297
Ten, twelve times
over the past few weeks.
178
00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:10,092
She was high drama.
A woman on the verge.
179
00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:12,386
- She gave great radio.
- We'll need those recordings.
180
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,638
Yeah.
181
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,681
- Hey, Kaley.
- Yeah?
182
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:19,435
Can you get these officers the
past couple weeks of shows?
183
00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,271
Now, this week's shows
might take a little longer
to get our hands on,
184
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,774
but, uh, you'll have plenty
to listen to in the meantime.
185
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,360
Unfortunately, we don't
archive by caller,
so if you want
186
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,779
the Cheated segments,
somebody'll have
to go through, like,
187
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,281
- 30 hours of audio files.
- I'll do it.
188
00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:35,201
Who couldn't use
some straight talk?
189
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,453
That was, uh, definitely
Sasha's forte.
190
00:09:37,662 --> 00:09:39,705
She was fearless.
191
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,707
God, I can't believe
she's gone.
192
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:44,043
We made so many hours
of radio together.
193
00:09:44,252 --> 00:09:46,212
I'm sorry.
I think I need a minute.
194
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,214
Of course.
195
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,466
- CLIVE: I take it Sasha
and Jane were close?
- Oh, super close.
196
00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:52,134
Like, since college.
197
00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:53,719
Sasha was the psych major
with the big personality.
198
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:56,138
Jane was the RTF major
with the radio skills.
199
00:09:56,347 --> 00:09:58,766
They had this whole Liz Lemon,
Jenna Maroney thing going on,
200
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,143
but in a "not funny" way.
201
00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:03,563
You happen to know who Sasha
was seeing romantically?
202
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:07,316
Specifically? No. I mean,
she talked about her sex life
on the air all the time,
203
00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:11,070
but her lovers always got
code names. The All-Nighter,
Sir Cries-A-Lot.
204
00:10:11,279 --> 00:10:13,155
So, there were
a lot of lovers?
205
00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:15,449
From what she said, yeah.
206
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,868
I don't know any
names or anything,
207
00:10:18,077 --> 00:10:21,414
but everybody around here
knew she had a thing for
men already in relationships.
208
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:25,585
Do you think one of her lovers
did this?
209
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,753
We'll look into
every possibility.
210
00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:30,590
This way.
211
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,843
This is the line
to Sasha's mic. It should
ground into this panel,
212
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,637
but the killer
ran it over there
into the backup generator.
213
00:10:36,846 --> 00:10:39,015
Who has access to this room?
214
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:42,101
Five stations under
the Panopticon umbrella, all
operate out of this building.
215
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:45,313
Plus, there's
the public tours that
tramp through here all day.
216
00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:49,734
Last week, some clown wandered
into a KGOV live broadcast.
217
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:54,614
Took half a dozen calls before
somebody figured out he wasn't
really a city comptroller.
218
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,033
So, basically, anyone
could've gotten in here?
219
00:11:00,953 --> 00:11:03,331
SASHA: Yes,
manscaping is a thing.
220
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,292
You can't expect a girl to go
hacking through the brush
221
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,503
like Indiana Jones looking
for the lost Peruvian temple.
222
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,465
I'm not asking
for a Bro-zilian,
223
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,550
just a little yard trimming
here and there...
224
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:17,178
- You need me?
- No.
225
00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:19,805
It's just that
I had some business
down at the courthouse
226
00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:22,058
and met your roommate
Peyton.
227
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,893
- Bit of a spitfire, isn't she?
- Yeah.
228
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,729
- Is she seeing
anyone presently?
- Probably.
229
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,151
You're asking because
you might wanna ask her out?
230
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,237
(SIGHS) For a moment there,
I thought I might have
to draw you a diagram.
231
00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:36,906
I'll check.
232
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:40,201
She's not generally lacking
for male companionship.
233
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,744
I think we had a moment.
234
00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:43,287
Oh!
235
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:51,003
The early shift was displeased
that the supply closet
is now padlocked.
236
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:54,006
They'll get over it. This is
where we're curing zombie-ism.
237
00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:57,343
I'm mid-experiment.
Our guinea rats
are behind this door,
238
00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,429
rolling hard on Utopium
and Max Rager.
239
00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:04,016
Right now, they're
probably waving tiny
glow sticks in the air.
240
00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:07,436
I think someone
needs an escort
to the chill-out room.
241
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:11,315
Liv!
242
00:12:18,072 --> 00:12:21,200
RAVI: Their brains are
missing, every one of them.
243
00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:23,703
"The Lannisters
send their regards."
244
00:12:24,537 --> 00:12:25,538
Ugh.
245
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,623
- Where is the fifth rat?
- Don't know.
246
00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:30,418
But I can't stress enough
the importance of finding him.
247
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:33,754
(RAT SQUEAKS)
248
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,216
Holy crap, Ravi!
He's white and murderous.
249
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,218
You did it.
You made a zombie rat.
250
00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,095
- (RAT SCREECHING)
- Oh!
251
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,139
Where are you going,
little buddy?
252
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:47,143
Uh, I believe he was
on his way to murder me
and eat my brains.
253
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,561
Why isn't he tearing into you?
254
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,980
Oh, it's a zombie thing.
You wouldn't understand.
255
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,732
Zombie brains are nasty.
256
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,568
You wouldn't want those.
No, you wouldn't.
257
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,487
Uh, that rat you're doting on
like a purse Chihuahua
258
00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:01,157
could end civilization
as we know it.
259
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,408
(GIGGLES)
260
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,622
Right. The human genome
is full of so-called
"junk DNA," right?
261
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,875
Veritable sleeper cells
of evolution,
262
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:14,336
waiting to be called to action
by a change in environment
or circumstance.
263
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:18,924
Enter, a chemical cocktail of
tainted Utopium and Max Rager.
264
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,760
Cocktail wakes up
dormant genes,
265
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,137
which then transforms
an ordinary human or rat
266
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,556
into a zombie
at the cellular level.
267
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:28,768
So, you'll use antibodies from
zombie-rat to synthesize
a gene therapy-based cure.
268
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,604
That's the plan.
269
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,607
Do you think
this is how Oppenheimer felt
staring down at the A-bomb?
270
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,400
Like a drama queen?
271
00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:38,944
Or are you talking about his
need for self-aggrandizement?
272
00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,781
- Aw.
- Oh, come on! Gentle ribbing.
273
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,574
Dr. Oppenheimer, you love me.
274
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:46,452
He loves me.
275
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,206
Cheated On In Chattanooga's
phone was a burner,
totally untraceable.
276
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,750
New development.
Check this out.
277
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,837
Dear God,
how about a heads-up,
or an NSFW warning?
278
00:13:57,046 --> 00:13:58,631
Is that a blow-up sex doll?
279
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,007
Ooh! I wanna see.
280
00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:02,301
With Sasha Arconi's face
taped over the doll's.
281
00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:03,719
There are a bunch of them.
282
00:14:03,928 --> 00:14:05,638
Sasha was in a blood feud
with the host
283
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,098
of a rival drive-time sports
talk show, The Morning Hurl.
284
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:11,393
The host, Chuck Burd,
asked all of his listeners,
"Upchuckers" they're called,
285
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:15,815
to commit unspeakable acts
upon a Sasha Arconi blow-up
doll and post them online.
286
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,400
- Delightful.
- Sasha gave it
as good as she got.
287
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,528
She was promoting a roundtable
interview next week
288
00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:22,488
with several of
Chuck's past lovers.
289
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,240
It sounds like we should
have a chat with Chuck.
290
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,741
Exactly my thought.
291
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,618
CLIVE: "Great morning sex."
292
00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:29,662
Isn't it enough for you ladies
that you're having it?
293
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,789
Why spoil it
by talking about it?
294
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,208
See, I find it fascinating
that we never talk
about your love life.
295
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,585
Really? 'Cause I find it
non-negotiable.
296
00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:38,671
- Boundaries, Liv.
- "Stressing of boundaries,"
297
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,340
one of several signs
of a classic distancer.
298
00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,426
Pair that with "avoiding
discussion of deep feelings."
299
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:47,429
- I'm going in now.
- "Pulling away when
things get real."
300
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:49,223
Look, it's nice you want
to get to know me.
301
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,810
- "Sending mixed signals."
- What's gotten into you?
302
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,856
You listen to Sasha's show
for one day and now
you think you're her?
303
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,858
(SIGHS)
Something like that.
304
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,277
I'm not the "let's get real"
type, anyway.
305
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,279
Ask DeVore in Vice.
She'd tell you.
306
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:07,116
"Idealizing a past partner."
You are so textbook.
307
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:09,159
Seriously, you can
stop talking right now.
308
00:15:09,368 --> 00:15:12,037
I know everything
there is to know about you.
309
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,373
CHUCK ON RADIO:
I'm not saying he should
have done what he did.
310
00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:17,668
All I'm saying is,
any guy who's been married
for more than five minutes
311
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:20,504
knows exactly how he felt!
312
00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:22,548
Ladies, listen to this.
313
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,843
Your mouths were
not made for speaking.
314
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,511
Not for speak... Ooh!
315
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,638
Huh.
316
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:32,766
Upchuckers, show of hands,
who's screwed an albino chick?
317
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,268
Huh? Anyone?
Anyone?
318
00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,186
I think what they lack
in pigment,
319
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,105
they make up for
in nasty.
320
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:39,732
Am I right? You know,
don't ya?
321
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,484
We got a chick
in studio, right now,
322
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:45,863
begging for someone
to bang a little color
back into her cheeks.
323
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,114
Isn't that right, sweetheart?
324
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,491
What's that?
325
00:15:54,038 --> 00:15:56,332
The feud with Sasha
was all for show.
326
00:15:56,540 --> 00:16:00,336
The more PMS-y she acted,
the more fired up
my listeners got.
327
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:04,214
The broad was ratings gold.
328
00:16:04,924 --> 00:16:06,008
So,
329
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,426
your relationship
with your mom,
330
00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:09,637
I'm going with complicated.
331
00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:13,557
Extreme narcissism
with a tendency towards
sexual deviance.
332
00:16:13,766 --> 00:16:15,809
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
"Mommy issues."
333
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,020
All I'm saying is,
the inexplicable crying when
you're cuffing the carrot,
334
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,773
- there's a reason for that.
- Mr. Burd.
335
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,275
This show Sasha was
supposed to do about you,
336
00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:26,403
a lot of men would feel
threatened by their ex-lovers
comparing notes on the radio.
337
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,782
Yeah, unless all of your notes
are just, muah!
338
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,992
(CHUCKLES)
You know what I mean?
339
00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:34,495
I was just worried
she wouldn't be able to
fit 'em all into the studio.
340
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,997
If I'm gonna puke in your
trash bin, do I need to go
through the basketball hoop?
341
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,375
What do I care if one of them
said something bad?
342
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,294
You and I both know how women
get when you kick 'em loose.
343
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:44,129
- You kicked a lot
of women loose?
- Not anymore.
344
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,048
I'm a happily married
man now.
345
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,383
(SNIGGERS)
346
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:48,592
That's my girl.
347
00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:54,098
- (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Stay away
from my husband, whore!
348
00:16:55,808 --> 00:16:58,102
(GASPS)
349
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,854
CHUCK: She's not the brightest
bulb in the chandelier, but
she is a former gymnast.
350
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,399
Power tumbler.
351
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,943
When your wife found out you
were sleeping with Sasha, was
she mad enough to kill her?
352
00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:16,453
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Okay, Sasha and I bumped
uglies a couple times,
353
00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,915
but I'm not the first guy
to have a little hate bang
on the side.
354
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:23,252
No, but you're a guy with an
angry wife and a dead lover.
355
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:27,631
You think Oksana is
this Chattanooga chick?
356
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:32,219
She's a mail-order bride.
She speaks maybe
50 words of English.
357
00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:35,723
The woman could barely order
a cup of coffee, let alone
fake a Southern accent!
358
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,183
Where were you yesterday
between 9:30 and 9:45?
359
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,978
Talking about ambidextrous
hookers on the radio.
360
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,397
It's a public service piece
I like to do.
361
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,942
If you'll excuse me,
I've got 42 seconds to take
a leak before the news.
362
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,947
For what it's worth,
I don't think his wife
could've passed for
363
00:17:52,156 --> 00:17:55,284
Cheated On In Chattanooga.
Maybe "Cheated On
In Chechnya."
364
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:58,162
That doesn't mean
she didn't kill her.
I'll check her out.
365
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:00,706
(SIGHS)
366
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,958
Where's a vat of bleach
when you need one?
367
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,503
CORINNE: Hello?
368
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,053
So you missed our lunch date.
369
00:18:15,179 --> 00:18:16,555
Things have been
kind of crazy,
370
00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:19,516
but I'll make it up to you,
okay?
371
00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:22,352
Oh, my God. Major, what
happened to your face?
372
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:24,146
It's a long story.
373
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,359
I... I broke into a guy's car.
374
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:32,029
Then the cops put me in a cell
with these bikers and...
375
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,531
- Whatever, you know,
it, it doesn't matter.
- It does matter!
376
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:39,828
Why are you looking
at pictures of brains?
377
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,249
You know what?
Don't even answer that.
378
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,877
This is so not
what I signed up for.
379
00:18:47,086 --> 00:18:49,797
- Look, I, I know I've been...
- You keep getting into fights.
380
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:54,384
You just got arrested. You
are in a running battle with
someone known as the Candyman?
381
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:59,056
What the hell?
You were the dream combination
of superhot but funny
382
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:02,768
and now you're like some
whackjob who doesn't
shower enough.
383
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,021
- If you give me
a second to explain...
- You should get some help.
384
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:16,698
I take it game night's off?
385
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:17,825
(DOOR SLAMS)
386
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,540
Enter the hero.
387
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:28,252
- Why so glum, chum?
- I can't do this anymore.
388
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:31,088
Moving those kids' bodies,
it was too much.
389
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,881
Emotionally, or...
390
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:34,591
Because physically,
it shouldn't've been
that hard.
391
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,552
- How heavy are bones?
- Damn it, you listen to me!
392
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:41,223
You're not even trying
to be careful anymore.
393
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:45,561
The bodies are piling up,
and you just expect me
to make them disappear.
394
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:49,565
What part of "me having you
by the short and curlies"
don't you understand?
395
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,066
I'm literally
your meal ticket.
396
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,943
Oh, I understand that, but...
397
00:19:53,152 --> 00:19:55,112
What're you gonna do?
Hmm?
398
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,072
Are you gonna mosey down to
the holding cell and pop open
399
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:59,575
a couple of craniums a week
and hope nobody gets wise?
400
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:03,120
Stop acting like you
have options and just do
what I tell you to do.
401
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,375
There's a girl
in the M.E.'s office.
402
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,086
Pale.
403
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:12,838
Looks like she plays
for Team Z.
404
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,424
Yeah, I know all about her.
405
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,593
She has her own special role
in all this.
406
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,803
It would've been nice
to get a heads-up.
407
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:23,098
I'm sorry, dear. You know
how I struggle with my
communication skills.
408
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,435
Now, run off and do your job.
409
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,395
Protect and serve...
410
00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:29,521
Me.
411
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:37,696
SASHA: The guy's a bully,
and you're just laying back
and taking it.
412
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:41,200
Act like his bitch,
don't expect to be treated
like his girlfriend.
413
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,036
LIV: Before this brain, my
advice-giving M.O. was gentle.
414
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,412
Sympathetic.
415
00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,164
Now I feel compelled
to fix people,
416
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,958
to take them apart,
whether they want it or not.
417
00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:53,337
SASHA: Don't make me play it.
CALLER: But he meditates now.
He's becoming a vegetarian.
418
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:57,049
SASHA: You asked for it.
Tell her, Miss Lynch.
JANE LYNCH: Bitch, get a clue!
419
00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:01,178
Bitch, get a clue!
420
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,972
Sasha, I'm sorry! I was
gonna tell you, I swear!
421
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:07,434
- Ahhh! Sasha!
- I don't want apologies!
I want loyalty!
422
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,686
(GASPS)
423
00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:11,647
Well, any time you mix
friendship and work,
424
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:14,483
things can get complicated,
but Sasha and I were fine.
425
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,027
CLIVE: So, you didn't mind
when she yelled at you
and threw things?
426
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,529
- That was cool with you?
- You heard about the cupcakes.
427
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:21,615
Yeah, Sasha
could go a little psycho,
428
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,451
- but that time
I had it coming.
- Why is that?
429
00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:27,246
She found out I was sending
tapes to other stations.
430
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:31,124
I should've told her, but...
I don't know, I...
431
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,253
We started as co-hosts,
and then Sasha became
this big star
432
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:38,090
and I became just
her producer which was
fine for a while, but...
433
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,133
But you would've rather
been behind the mic.
434
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:43,178
Anybody in radio says
differently, they're lying.
435
00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:45,973
- Did you get any offers?
- No. Mmm-mmm.
436
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:51,603
It takes a special kind of
charisma to get people to tune
in and listen. Sasha had it.
437
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:54,189
Judging by
my lack of offers...
438
00:21:54,398 --> 00:21:56,191
Well, I guess
we'll never know.
439
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,694
Sasha was pretty angry
when she found out
you wanted to leave.
440
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,072
Well, at first, and then
she got over it and started
fighting for a raise for me.
441
00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:04,908
To entice me to stay.
442
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:08,912
Oh, we got those last Cheated
audio files from archives
if you still want them.
443
00:22:09,121 --> 00:22:10,080
Please.
444
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,212
Oyster shucking gloves.
Observe.
445
00:22:25,429 --> 00:22:27,389
- Ahhh!
- Ravi!
446
00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,891
- Voila. Chain mail
for the hand.
- Enjoy hell.
447
00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,020
Have you seen Major today?
448
00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:34,938
I missed a call from him
yesterday and I haven't
heard back.
449
00:22:35,147 --> 00:22:37,566
Oh, you... He's fine.
450
00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,819
Well, he's got some stuff
going on, romantically.
451
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:43,989
There was a break-up.
In that, Corinne dumped him.
452
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,283
Major doesn't get dumped.
There are literally
453
00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:51,455
two reasons to end
a relationship with Major,
zombie-ism and full-on death.
454
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,790
- Wait, you don't
think Corinne...
- Is now a zombie?
455
00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,542
Seems unlikely.
456
00:22:55,751 --> 00:22:58,503
Speaking of roommates, have
you spoken with Peyton yet?
457
00:22:58,712 --> 00:23:01,673
Wow. All roads lead to Rome
with you lately, huh?
458
00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:05,135
I think you need
to ask yourself why
you're so interested in her.
459
00:23:05,344 --> 00:23:09,598
I don't know. Just saw
her in action briefly.
She was quite fiery.
460
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,976
And you like them fiery.
Someone kind of hard to get,
461
00:23:13,185 --> 00:23:16,104
maybe a little complicated.
You want to have
to put in some work.
462
00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:18,857
- I don't shy away
from a challenge.
- Of course you don't.
463
00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:22,027
Because then there's
the potential to win.
464
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:24,529
To rewrite history,
be the conqueror.
465
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:25,989
Wait, no, uh...
466
00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:28,200
What history am I rewriting?
467
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:31,370
I don't know which parent
was distant and made you
work for affection.
468
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:32,746
Are you shrinking me?
469
00:23:32,954 --> 00:23:35,082
I'm just pointing out
obvious behavior
470
00:23:35,290 --> 00:23:37,834
that could potentially
lead to you being hurt.
471
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:40,003
Okay, I guess
I'm shrinking you,
472
00:23:40,212 --> 00:23:43,840
but you really need
to learn from the past
and not try to relive it.
473
00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:46,134
I can't help it. I'm filled
to the brim with insight.
474
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:48,095
Oh, that's what
you're full of?
475
00:23:48,303 --> 00:23:50,806
Just find out if she's
dating anyone, okay?
476
00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,015
I live to enable.
477
00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:56,937
LIV: Fun fact of zombie-ism:
478
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,855
knowing you're being affected
by the brain you just ate
479
00:23:59,064 --> 00:24:01,441
doesn't always stop you
from acting on its impulses.
480
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:05,404
Major?
481
00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:07,656
I can see your mopey shadow.
Let me in.
482
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:11,618
Someone needs to tell you
that self-sabotaging
is not the answer.
483
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:13,203
You're allowed to be happy.
484
00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:19,209
Oh, Major.
Who did this to you?
485
00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:21,628
I can't talk about fight club.
486
00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:24,714
- Crap.
- I want to know what happened!
487
00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:26,508
Would you believe
shark attack?
488
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:30,220
Did you go to
the skate park again?
489
00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:32,431
Rough night in jail.
490
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,182
Turns out the police take
umbrage when you accuse
them of negligence.
491
00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:37,436
You were in jail?
Why didn't you...
492
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:40,730
You did call me.
You called me from jail
and I didn't answer.
493
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:43,692
It's fine, really.
I'm glad you're here now.
494
00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:45,360
(SIGHS)
495
00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:51,825
You made it on
the police blotter?
496
00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:54,703
One of the kids at Helton
Shelter brought that into
a group session this morning.
497
00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:57,330
Unfortunately, my bosses
weren't nearly as impressed
498
00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:59,249
with my "street cred"
as this kid was,
499
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,710
so if you hear of anyone
looking for a youth counselor
500
00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:04,421
- with a rap sheet...
- They fired you.
501
00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:06,923
- Major, I'm so sorry.
- Look at me.
502
00:25:07,132 --> 00:25:09,176
(SCOFFS) I didn't
give them much choice.
503
00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:14,097
I need to talk to you
about something.
504
00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:16,224
I think you're the only one
who might listen to me.
505
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,976
Of course.
506
00:25:18,185 --> 00:25:20,270
Those people in the woods
didn't kill Jerome and Eddie.
507
00:25:20,479 --> 00:25:22,689
All right?
It was a drug dealer
named Julien Dupont.
508
00:25:22,898 --> 00:25:23,982
The guy the kids call
"the Candyman."
509
00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:25,484
They found their remains
at the house.
510
00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:27,694
Look, I'm telling you it
wasn't them, all right?
511
00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:29,946
This Dupont guy was
wearing Jerome's shoes.
512
00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:32,282
He, he practically admitted
to killing him.
513
00:25:32,491 --> 00:25:34,784
The police,
they're covering this up.
Now, don't ask me why.
514
00:25:34,993 --> 00:25:38,163
- The DNA was verified.
- Just listen, please.
515
00:25:38,371 --> 00:25:40,415
All right? I saw something
in the Candyman's car
516
00:25:40,624 --> 00:25:42,334
and it's gonna sound crazy,
all right?
517
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,961
- But I know what I saw.
- Okay.
518
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,297
There was an ice chest
in the passenger seat.
519
00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:50,091
It had a brain inside.
520
00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:54,429
A human brain.
I'm sure of it.
521
00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:05,941
Brains, huh?
522
00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:07,776
- You think I'm crazy.
- No!
523
00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,238
It's just that
524
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:14,449
if the man worked
for a butcher shop
like he told the police,
525
00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,327
then it seems logical
the brains came
from an animal.
526
00:26:17,536 --> 00:26:20,664
No, no, no. I've been
looking at pictures of human
and cow brains for hours,
527
00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:23,041
and yes, I know how crazy
that sounds, but, Liv,
528
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:26,461
a cow's brain
is baseball-sized.
That's not what this was!
529
00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:30,507
I need someone to believe me.
530
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:34,177
I'd feel so much better
if that someone was you.
531
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:37,013
I know how close you
and Jerome were,
532
00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:39,224
how responsible
you felt for him.
533
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:42,310
I think you holding on
to this case is a way
of you holding on to him.
534
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:47,482
(SIGHS)
535
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:49,609
You're right.
536
00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:54,531
I don't want you to be,
but you are.
537
00:26:54,739 --> 00:26:57,158
I know it's not
easy to let go.
538
00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:59,578
I've... I've got to get
my act together
539
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,997
'cause this...
This isn't who I am.
540
00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:04,457
You know, if I'm gonna get
into a fight with
a biker gang,
541
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,459
it should be because
I accidentally knocked over
542
00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:09,963
a row of their hogs
outside a dive bar.
543
00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:13,550
Just promise me that you'll
back off from this Julien guy.
544
00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:14,676
I promise.
545
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,179
You're a good friend, Liv.
546
00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:42,287
LIV: Every time Major
calls me his friend, I ache.
547
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:44,914
I miss the "girl" modifier,
but the truth is,
548
00:27:45,123 --> 00:27:47,500
we were practically besties
from the moment we met.
549
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:49,878
That's why we were
so great together.
550
00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:52,589
Underneath all the love
and the desire to tear
each other's clothes off,
551
00:27:52,797 --> 00:27:56,259
was the person
I wanted to share
every detail of my life with.
552
00:27:56,468 --> 00:28:00,347
Without that, it's not really
even a relationship, is it?
553
00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:04,059
Is this just sex?
Is that who you are?
A zombie booty call?
554
00:28:06,978 --> 00:28:10,857
Sorry. I instinctively
take off my shirt every time
someone knocks at the door.
555
00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:12,233
What are we doing?
556
00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:19,199
I just finished
dyeing my roots.
557
00:28:19,407 --> 00:28:21,951
We can't all pull off
the ethereal Tinker Bell look.
558
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,622
I'm not sure what you're
up to, but it seems
to involve spiraling.
559
00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:29,626
We're not friends. Shouldn't
friendship be the foundation
of a relationship?
560
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:34,631
It should be the foundation
of year two of a relationship
and beyond, but right now,
561
00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:36,675
what I really wanna do is
spend epic amounts of time
562
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:38,426
naked with you,
and the friendship will come.
563
00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:40,762
Would we even be together
if we weren't both zombies?
564
00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:42,430
Probably not.
565
00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:45,558
My world was the music scene,
you were an ER doctor.
566
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,727
I suppose I could've OD'd,
would have been
a hell of a meet-cute,
567
00:28:47,936 --> 00:28:50,355
but what does it matter?
Because
568
00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:52,857
here we are.
Zombies together.
569
00:28:53,066 --> 00:28:53,983
It matters.
570
00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:56,486
It doesn't.
571
00:28:56,695 --> 00:28:58,988
We have nothing in common
other than being half-dead.
572
00:28:59,197 --> 00:29:02,325
- That's not the basis
of a healthy relationship.
- I have a feeling
573
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,161
that the woman whose
brain you ate
574
00:29:05,370 --> 00:29:07,122
never had a healthy
relationship in her life.
575
00:29:07,330 --> 00:29:08,373
How do you know
it was a woman?
576
00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:12,919
She's exhausting.
577
00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:16,005
I thought that being
a relationship and sex expert
might be a little fun, but...
578
00:29:16,214 --> 00:29:17,090
Sorry, excuse me.
579
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,967
A what expert?
580
00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:22,512
(LIV CHUCKLES)
581
00:29:23,471 --> 00:29:24,806
- Ohhh!
- (KISSING)
582
00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:26,975
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
583
00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:34,441
- (CHUCKLES)
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
584
00:29:36,776 --> 00:29:39,320
- (PANTING)
- SASHA: Play it again, Sam.
585
00:29:41,239 --> 00:29:42,282
(GASPS)
586
00:29:43,742 --> 00:29:44,701
Sam?
587
00:29:47,537 --> 00:29:50,540
Guy you're secretly
pretending I am, or a vision?
588
00:29:50,749 --> 00:29:52,625
A vision. A clue.
589
00:29:54,544 --> 00:29:55,670
Then where were we?
590
00:30:00,341 --> 00:30:02,343
So, who's the guy?
591
00:30:04,471 --> 00:30:06,514
- Hmm?
- Lowell Tracey.
592
00:30:07,432 --> 00:30:10,059
Oh? Broody musician.
593
00:30:10,268 --> 00:30:11,978
Not your usual type.
594
00:30:12,187 --> 00:30:14,731
But, you know, you're not
the usual Liv, are you?
595
00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:16,733
You're looking at
the new normal, sister.
596
00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:19,986
Well, if you're happy,
I'm happy for you.
597
00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:23,865
- Even though I still think you
belong with someone else.
- Enough about me.
598
00:30:24,073 --> 00:30:26,868
Who have you been
sailing with lately and
how big is his boat?
599
00:30:28,453 --> 00:30:31,581
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
A size joke, really?
600
00:30:31,790 --> 00:30:33,917
Oh, gosh,
you've changed. Um...
601
00:30:35,585 --> 00:30:38,338
Actually,
the harbor is empty.
602
00:30:38,505 --> 00:30:40,882
I mean, there's this startup
guy Alex who keeps calling,
603
00:30:41,090 --> 00:30:44,260
and I'm supposed to meet up
with Paolo when the Sounders
get back from Germany.
604
00:30:44,469 --> 00:30:47,889
Shannon Hargens still asks me
out every time I kick his ass
in court. (CHUCKLES)
605
00:30:48,097 --> 00:30:52,435
Honestly though, I would
rather kick ass in court
than see any of them.
606
00:30:52,644 --> 00:30:54,312
SASHA: Give a guy
some direction.
607
00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:57,857
If you're too shy to tell him
where he can and can't put it,
608
00:30:58,066 --> 00:31:01,027
you can't complain if it goes
where you don't want it to go.
609
00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:04,113
What's up?
610
00:31:04,322 --> 00:31:06,574
We've been in here for
an hour and 41 minutes.
Do I really have to ask again?
611
00:31:08,201 --> 00:31:09,953
Is she or is she not
dating someone?
612
00:31:10,161 --> 00:31:13,081
A tech wunderkind,
a professional soccer player,
613
00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:15,124
and a future
Supreme Court justice.
614
00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:16,417
So she's still looking.
615
00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:18,878
Straight talk?
616
00:31:19,087 --> 00:31:20,630
I don't think
you and Peyton work.
617
00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,216
True, you like a challenge
and Peyton is certainly that,
618
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:26,678
but she dates guys you'd find
in a "most eligible bachelors
on the planet" catalog,
619
00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:28,888
if such a thing existed.
620
00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:32,225
And you don't think I'd be
featured in the pages
of Hunks Quarterly?
621
00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:35,270
Ravi, she's a lawyer who looks
like Victoria's Secret model.
622
00:31:35,478 --> 00:31:38,648
Liv, I'm a tall doctor
with fantastic hair
and a British accent.
623
00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:41,276
But to hear you tell it,
she's out of my league.
624
00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:44,153
I mean, I don't even
need to be this attractive.
625
00:31:44,362 --> 00:31:45,613
It's just icing.
626
00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:47,198
Besides, Peyton and I,
627
00:31:48,783 --> 00:31:50,743
we had a moment.
628
00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:53,121
I'm sure that's how it seemed,
but I've known Peyton
since college,
629
00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:57,166
and literally, every man
who's ever met her thought
that they had a moment.
630
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:59,711
I've been a witness to all
those poor guys who
liked a challenge.
631
00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:04,048
I've watched them approach
her table, full of hope. I've
seen her turn them into dust.
632
00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:07,176
She's been asked out
so much, she doesn't
bother with niceties.
633
00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:08,344
- Just trying to help.
- Thank you.
634
00:32:08,553 --> 00:32:09,762
You know, I, uh...
635
00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:12,515
I rescind all inquiries
into the subject.
636
00:32:12,724 --> 00:32:16,561
You know, I'm a grown man
who knows a moment
when he experiences one.
637
00:32:16,769 --> 00:32:19,314
Oh, and my "distant parents"?
638
00:32:19,522 --> 00:32:22,442
They're fairly certain
I put the moon in the sky.
639
00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:25,111
This brain you're on?
She's a bit of an ass.
640
00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:27,655
Thanks for the straight talk.
641
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:41,169
It cuts down on the awkward
silence after you've just done
642
00:32:41,377 --> 00:32:44,255
possible irreparable damage
to a relationship of your own.
643
00:32:46,174 --> 00:32:47,675
MAN: Got those
rainy day blues?
644
00:32:47,884 --> 00:32:49,636
Y'all come on down to
S'il Vous Plait Beignet...
645
00:32:49,844 --> 00:32:51,638
WOMAN: (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
It's high time you experience
646
00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:53,890
the warmth of our
Southern hospitality.
647
00:32:54,098 --> 00:32:55,475
MAN: Piping hot coffee...
648
00:32:55,683 --> 00:32:56,726
Gonna go see Clive.
649
00:32:58,269 --> 00:33:00,605
Chuck's mail-order gymnast
has an alibi.
650
00:33:00,813 --> 00:33:04,651
A dozen witnesses who saw her
at a "Booty Boot Camp."
651
00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:07,278
- You look like you've
got something.
- Listen to this.
652
00:33:07,487 --> 00:33:08,863
It's a commercial
that ran last week
653
00:33:09,072 --> 00:33:10,949
during Great Morning Sex.
I've got it cued up.
654
00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:12,742
MAN: Got those
rainy day blues?
655
00:33:12,951 --> 00:33:15,453
Y'all come on down to
S'il Vous Plait, Beignet...
656
00:33:15,662 --> 00:33:19,624
WOMAN: It's high time you
experience the warmth
of our Southern hospitality.
657
00:33:19,832 --> 00:33:21,501
MAN: Piping hot coffee...
658
00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:25,004
- That woman's voice...
- It's Cheated On
In Chattanooga!
659
00:33:25,213 --> 00:33:27,924
They should be able to
tell us at the radio station
who recorded it.
660
00:33:30,593 --> 00:33:32,971
Sorry. Radio. Where even
a memorial broadcast
661
00:33:33,179 --> 00:33:35,765
comes with a deadline
and six commercial breaks.
662
00:33:35,974 --> 00:33:38,434
- Did those last
audio files help?
- Listen for yourself.
663
00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:46,776
Oh, my God. That's
Cheated On In Chattanooga.
664
00:33:46,985 --> 00:33:48,403
I should have
recognized the voice.
665
00:33:48,611 --> 00:33:50,363
So who recorded it?
An ad agency?
666
00:33:50,571 --> 00:33:52,490
Usually, but this time
it was Kaley.
667
00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:55,618
- The assistant?
- She did the temp track.
668
00:33:55,827 --> 00:33:58,955
We mock ads up
to pitch new customers,
but Kaley's Southern accent
669
00:33:59,163 --> 00:34:02,792
was so good,
the Beignet people just kept
her in the finished product.
670
00:34:03,001 --> 00:34:05,336
- You don't think Kaley...
- Do you know where
Kaley is now?
671
00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:07,797
Uh, home, I guess.
It's her day off.
672
00:34:09,507 --> 00:34:10,675
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
673
00:34:16,305 --> 00:34:17,306
Detectives?
674
00:34:18,349 --> 00:34:19,809
What do you want?
675
00:34:20,018 --> 00:34:22,061
I don't know about him,
but I'd like to experience
676
00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:24,355
"the warmth of some
Southern hospitality."
677
00:34:24,564 --> 00:34:26,524
Ms. Taylor, where were you at
the time of Sasha's murder?
678
00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:30,653
I was on a coffee run
getting Sasha's emergency
soy vanilla latte.
679
00:34:30,862 --> 00:34:33,531
You have a receipt?
Can anyone place you there?
A barista?
680
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:36,409
I was in the car,
on my way there,
listening to the show.
681
00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:38,703
When I heard the commotion,
I turned around
and I drove back.
682
00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:41,956
So at the time of the murder,
you say you were driving
around on an errand
683
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:44,792
that you didn't complete,
during which no one saw you?
684
00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:48,629
That also gave you
plenty of time to call in as
Cheated On In Chattanooga.
685
00:34:48,838 --> 00:34:50,089
What? What...
686
00:34:50,298 --> 00:34:51,841
- What makes you think I...
- MAN: Hey, babe.
687
00:34:53,384 --> 00:34:54,552
Everything okay?
688
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,721
"Play It Again, Sam."
689
00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:59,724
What makes us think you're
Cheated On In Chattanooga?
690
00:34:59,932 --> 00:35:02,727
We have a recording of you
doing a Southern accent
in a commercial.
691
00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:05,938
The boys at the police lab
matched your voice
to the Cheated calls.
692
00:35:06,147 --> 00:35:09,275
We also have an eyewitness
to the affair between
Sasha and this man.
693
00:35:12,278 --> 00:35:13,696
You were discreet, huh?
694
00:35:13,905 --> 00:35:16,157
You had motive
and opportunity.
695
00:35:16,365 --> 00:35:19,452
You told the whole world
you were gonna murder Sasha.
696
00:35:19,660 --> 00:35:22,080
I knew you were
never gonna let it go.
697
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:26,542
Kaley Taylor,
you're under arrest for
the murder of Sasha Arconi.
698
00:35:26,751 --> 00:35:28,044
SAM: Not cool, babe.
699
00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:32,590
Sam and I were going through
a rough time last year.
700
00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:35,843
He got drunk at a work party
and Sasha seduced him.
701
00:35:36,052 --> 00:35:38,763
Cheated On In Chattanooga
just seemed like a good way
to mess with her head,
702
00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:40,807
get even, without
ruining my career.
703
00:35:41,766 --> 00:35:44,185
That's all it was.
704
00:35:44,393 --> 00:35:47,271
You didn't think anybody would
recognize the same fake accent
you used in the Beignet ads?
705
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,483
I'm from South Carolina,
that "fake accent,"
706
00:35:50,691 --> 00:35:52,693
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
that's my real voice, y'all.
707
00:35:52,902 --> 00:35:55,113
And no, I didn't think anyone
was gonna remember an ad that
708
00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:57,448
aired exactly once before
the bakery folded a year ago.
709
00:35:57,657 --> 00:35:59,617
The ad aired last week.
We've got it on tape.
710
00:35:59,826 --> 00:36:01,285
For a business that
doesn't exist?
711
00:36:02,245 --> 00:36:03,371
I highly doubt that.
712
00:36:05,873 --> 00:36:08,668
So when you found out
your husband and your boss
were having these trysts,
713
00:36:08,835 --> 00:36:11,963
you said nothing to her?
You just hatched
this elaborate plan?
714
00:36:12,171 --> 00:36:14,298
If I had confronted
Sasha directly,
715
00:36:14,507 --> 00:36:16,801
she would have blackballed
me in the industry,
like she did to Jane.
716
00:36:17,009 --> 00:36:18,344
Sasha blackballed Jane?
717
00:36:18,553 --> 00:36:20,888
When she found out
Jane was sending out tapes,
718
00:36:21,097 --> 00:36:23,474
Sasha ran her down to
the station managers in every
top 100 market in the country.
719
00:36:23,683 --> 00:36:26,769
Liv, she's right about
S'il Vous Plait, Beignet.
720
00:36:26,978 --> 00:36:29,021
According to Yelp, they
shut their doors last year.
721
00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:33,109
The only way that ad
gets on the recording
is if Jane plants it there.
722
00:36:33,317 --> 00:36:34,569
She wanted us
to put it together.
723
00:36:34,777 --> 00:36:37,113
Sasha destroyed Jane's career.
724
00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:39,115
Jane wanted to kill her.
725
00:36:39,323 --> 00:36:42,618
Kaley's on-air death threat
gave her the perfect
opportunity.
726
00:36:42,827 --> 00:36:45,121
- Where's Jane now?
- At the station,
727
00:36:45,329 --> 00:36:47,665
hosting Sasha's
memorial broadcast.
728
00:36:47,874 --> 00:36:50,710
She's finally getting
her big break.
729
00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:54,505
Good evening and welcome.
I'm Jane Bowman.
730
00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,591
Tonight we'll be celebrating
the life and work
731
00:36:56,799 --> 00:37:00,511
of Sasha Arconi,
who is gone too soon.
732
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,847
Sasha made us a community.
733
00:37:03,055 --> 00:37:07,476
A mutual support system.
A sisterhood, linked
by one voice.
734
00:37:07,685 --> 00:37:09,270
I hope you'll stick
with me as I do
735
00:37:09,478 --> 00:37:12,523
my best to take the show
into its second decade.
736
00:37:12,732 --> 00:37:15,067
Give us a call here.
Let's get it all out there.
737
00:37:15,276 --> 00:37:19,363
Line One, you're on the air.
What are you going to
miss most about Sasha?
738
00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:22,783
CALLER 1: Everything,
'cause you suck.
739
00:37:22,992 --> 00:37:26,996
I know emotions are
running high, but let's try
to keep things positive.
740
00:37:27,205 --> 00:37:29,957
- Line two.
- (SNORING LOUDLY)
741
00:37:30,166 --> 00:37:31,250
(HANGS UP)
742
00:37:34,545 --> 00:37:37,590
JANE: So, this must be how
substitute teachers feel.
743
00:37:42,428 --> 00:37:46,224
Looks like my tenure here
won't be quite as long
as I'd hoped.
744
00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:50,228
I'll leave you, her
adoring public, with this.
745
00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:52,063
Sasha didn't care
about our problems.
746
00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:54,232
Sasha cared about Sasha.
During commercials,
747
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,234
she'd laugh at the crazies
who called in.
748
00:37:56,442 --> 00:37:58,736
She slept with our boyfriends
and our husbands.
749
00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:01,405
And when I decided
I wanted to live my dream
750
00:38:01,614 --> 00:38:03,574
of being in front of the mic
instead of behind it,
751
00:38:03,783 --> 00:38:06,911
she destroyed my chances
with every station manager
on the West Coast.
752
00:38:08,913 --> 00:38:13,709
I was her biggest fan,
and she killed my dreams.
753
00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:17,088
Well, I hope there's
radio in hell and I hope
you're listening, Sasha.
754
00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,923
- Because you can go...
- Jane Bowman.
755
00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:22,260
You're under arrest for
the murder of Sasha Arconi.
756
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:24,136
Any last words
for Sasha's fans?
757
00:38:26,597 --> 00:38:28,140
JANE LYNCH:
Bitch, get a clue!
758
00:38:35,231 --> 00:38:38,150
- (SHOWER RUNNING)
- I'm heading over
to Lowell's place.
759
00:38:38,359 --> 00:38:40,111
PEYTON: Yeah, won't wait up.
760
00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:51,163
(CELL PHONE RINGING
AND VIBRATING)
761
00:38:55,793 --> 00:38:57,753
Oh, Ravi.
762
00:38:57,962 --> 00:39:00,715
PEYTON: Hey, can you get that
for me? I'll be out in a sec.
763
00:39:04,885 --> 00:39:07,054
- Peyton's phone.
- Liv?
764
00:39:07,263 --> 00:39:09,432
Is, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
I'd like to speak to Peyton.
765
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,976
Hi, Ravi. Yeah, I'll,
um, get her.
766
00:39:14,895 --> 00:39:17,356
- It's Ravi.
- Who?
767
00:39:17,565 --> 00:39:19,191
(WHISPERING) My boss,
from the morgue.
768
00:39:22,820 --> 00:39:24,405
(WHISPERING)
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
British guy.
769
00:39:24,613 --> 00:39:26,115
Hi.
770
00:39:26,324 --> 00:39:27,658
LIV: It's bad enough that I've
spent the past few days
771
00:39:27,867 --> 00:39:29,535
dispensing the advice
of a hypocrite.
772
00:39:29,744 --> 00:39:31,704
If I don't get out of here
in the next three seconds,
773
00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:33,497
I'm gonna witness
a train wreck.
774
00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:36,334
Let this be a lesson.
Stay out of people's business.
775
00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:38,544
- Keep your advice to yourself.
- Hey, Liv.
776
00:39:43,299 --> 00:39:45,217
Um, your boss just, uh...
777
00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:46,302
You should say yes.
778
00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:47,762
Is that weird for you?
779
00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:49,347
Do it.
780
00:39:50,890 --> 00:39:53,100
Um, yes. That...
That sounds great.
781
00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:57,063
LIV: Okay. So my pledge
to keep my advice
to myself didn't last long.
782
00:39:57,271 --> 00:40:00,066
Maybe I'm too reticent
on the advice front.
What would I say?
783
00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:04,403
Ravi, never
listen to me again.
784
00:40:04,612 --> 00:40:07,990
You are too selfless,
too wrapped up in saving me.
785
00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:10,910
Chill out. Slow and steady
wins the race.
786
00:40:11,118 --> 00:40:12,620
I can't have you
burning out.
787
00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:14,538
Argh! Argh!
788
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,673
LIV: Because without you,
789
00:40:24,882 --> 00:40:26,008
I'm nothing.
790
00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:30,930
And, Major,
791
00:40:31,138 --> 00:40:33,182
don't lose sight
of who you are.
792
00:40:33,391 --> 00:40:35,810
You are sweetness
and light.
793
00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:38,229
That's who I fell
in love with,
794
00:40:38,437 --> 00:40:40,314
who the next girl will
fall in love with.
795
00:40:45,236 --> 00:40:47,196
Don't pile tragedy
on tragedy.
796
00:40:56,288 --> 00:40:58,707
And what advice would you
give yourself, Liv?
797
00:40:58,916 --> 00:41:00,918
- (ALARM BEEPING)
- Would you even take it?
798
00:41:09,427 --> 00:41:11,929
How about trying to live
in the moment for once?
799
00:41:18,185 --> 00:41:20,354
Being grateful for
the simple pleasures.
800
00:41:27,736 --> 00:41:30,448
You don't need to know
why you feel good.
801
00:41:30,656 --> 00:41:31,782
Just enjoy the ride.
802
00:41:43,919 --> 00:41:45,379
Jerome!
803
00:41:45,588 --> 00:41:47,298
Settle down, Jerome.
804
00:41:47,506 --> 00:41:48,591
It's not a long ride.
805
00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:50,301
(GASPS)
806
00:41:55,139 --> 00:41:56,682
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
807
00:41:56,891 --> 00:41:57,808
(ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS)