1 00:00:00,961 --> 00:00:02,504 LIV: Previously on iZombie... 2 00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,255 You're prosecuting Weckler? 3 00:00:04,464 --> 00:00:06,758 He confessed even though you didn't have much hard evidence. 4 00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:07,676 You haven't heard? 5 00:00:07,884 --> 00:00:10,512 James Weckler hanged himself in his cell this morning. 6 00:00:10,971 --> 00:00:14,349 Any idea who's going to be in charge of the world's only zombie military force now? 7 00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:16,977 Chase Graves, Vivian's brother-in-law, is gonna to take the reins. 8 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,645 ALL: Sir! Yes, sir. 9 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,397 BLAINE: After you would beat me, 10 00:00:20,647 --> 00:00:21,648 I'd visit this well. 11 00:00:21,815 --> 00:00:23,149 Wish you'd drop dead. 12 00:00:23,358 --> 00:00:25,485 LIV: Harley and his people a r e targeting zombies. 13 00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:29,864 I landed us an invite to the zombie truthers meeting tomorrow night. 14 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,286 (SCREECHING) 15 00:00:36,538 --> 00:00:40,542 That, boys and girls, is what we're dealing with. 16 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:45,005 Those of us sitting in this room are all that's standing between an America we love, 17 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:46,797 and a zombie-controlled wasteland. 18 00:00:46,798 --> 00:00:48,425 Yes, sir. 19 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:49,968 Whether they look like this. 20 00:00:51,511 --> 00:00:53,138 - Or this. - MAN: God. 21 00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:56,307 - Oh, snap. - Or like our honorable mayoral candidate, 22 00:00:57,142 --> 00:00:58,393 a secret zombie. 23 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:00,395 What makes you think he's a brain eater? 24 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,355 Look at the facts. 25 00:01:02,564 --> 00:01:05,066 My brother worked down in the basement lab at Max Rager. 26 00:01:05,275 --> 00:01:07,610 Baracus and all of the other Chaos Killer victims 27 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:09,654 are being experimented on down in the lab. 28 00:01:09,863 --> 00:01:12,615 (LAUGHS) Hell, they say as much in interviews. 29 00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:14,576 Well, they didn't say they were zombies. 30 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:19,164 Maybe not. But when me and my brother Harley tried to visit Baracus, 31 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:22,042 see if he'd take a little involuntary blood pressure test, 32 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,919 he had zombie guards protecting him. 33 00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:28,006 So, they can just pass as normal-looking? 34 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,090 Sure can. 35 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:31,843 Ask Billy Cook here. 36 00:01:32,052 --> 00:01:34,387 He's the guy you heard on Chuck Burd's show. 37 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,556 He saw it all go down at the Max Rager party. 38 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:41,311 It's true. Everyone that walked in that party 39 00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:43,229 was just a normal person. 40 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,274 But what I saw at the end? 41 00:01:48,026 --> 00:01:49,861 They were all red-eyed monsters. 42 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,071 If you're here, 43 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,740 it means that we can tell from what you've posted on the message boards 44 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:58,036 you're ready to do more than hunker down and try to merely survive a zombie outbreak. 45 00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,370 MAN: Right. Yeah. 46 00:01:59,579 --> 00:02:00,997 My brothers and me, 47 00:02:02,207 --> 00:02:04,667 we're all in. We can't do it on our own. 48 00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:08,004 We need volunteers to keep tabs on all of our suspected zombies. 49 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,590 Starting with 50 00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:12,801 Tim Addis. 51 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:13,843 I'll do it. 52 00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:15,261 Here you go, Quick Draw. 53 00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:18,640 - Sandy Coleman. - MAN: I'll take that. 54 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:22,435 So, yeah... 55 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,687 The Scratching Post is under new management. 56 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:29,234 Now, it's likely some of you heard how a couple members of the old regime were, um, 57 00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,444 terminated without notice. But, uh, 58 00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:32,737 let me tell you this, 59 00:02:33,113 --> 00:02:36,741 as long as you keep this operation as clean and tight as this roll up, 60 00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:38,284 you will be fine. 61 00:02:38,493 --> 00:02:39,702 Now, when I'm off attending other business, 62 00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:41,830 Don E. here is my guy. 63 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,581 What he says goes. 64 00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,918 Let's go make some money. 65 00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:50,004 Money, people! Let's make it! 66 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,257 Don E... 67 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,721 I'm kind of his guy. 68 00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,015 Uh-huh. 69 00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:03,810 I need you to keep this burner somewhere safe. 70 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,645 I need to be able to reach you 24/7. 71 00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:09,190 Also, our new product is finally ready. 72 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,819 This has been soaking for 20 days. 73 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:16,698 That's twice as long as Ravi's recipe calls for. 74 00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:18,616 I need you 75 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,370 to take it for a trial run. 76 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,498 - I'm not sure that's the best use of my time. - I'll do it. 77 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,586 - Fine. - What is it? 78 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:33,715 This blue juice makes zombie visions longer and more intense. 79 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:36,676 And if all goes according to plan, it's going to make us a lot of money. 80 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:41,139 Our test brain belonged to 94-year-old Hoyt Carroll, 81 00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:43,933 a World War II waist gunner and noted ladies' man. 82 00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:45,768 Ladies' man. Right on. 83 00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:47,562 I need to know how long the visions last. 84 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,731 And how soon they start, post-ingestion. 85 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,694 That's, uh, after you eat it. 86 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,449 Okay, I need all you volunteers to track your zombies' comings and goings 87 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,617 and report back to me. 88 00:04:00,825 --> 00:04:02,660 And what are you gonna do with that info? 89 00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,912 Something that can't be ignored. 90 00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:06,539 Like what? 91 00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:07,582 Capture a zombie, 92 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,835 starve it, broadcast it on a live stream, 93 00:04:11,044 --> 00:04:13,630 and let the whole world see the monster it becomes. 94 00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:15,673 - Right. - Whoo! 95 00:04:15,882 --> 00:04:17,842 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 96 00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:41,908 (ALL TALKING) 97 00:04:42,075 --> 00:04:43,326 Excuse me. 98 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:46,871 I'm sorry, but I didn't know I was signing up for a kidnapping. 99 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,539 Would you grow a pair, Billy? 100 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:52,252 We are talking about the survival of the human race here! 101 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,628 RAVI: Perhaps I can help. 102 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:55,672 (CLEARS THROAT) 103 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,507 My name is Ravi Chakrabarti. 104 00:04:57,715 --> 00:04:59,008 I work for the police. 105 00:04:59,926 --> 00:05:00,802 Allow me to explain. 106 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,346 Yeah, you do that. 107 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,223 I'm a medical examiner. 108 00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:08,434 I used to work for the CDC, but was fired 109 00:05:08,643 --> 00:05:11,688 for taking the possibility of a zombie apocalypse seriously. 110 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:14,023 I am on your side. 111 00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:15,316 What do you know about 'em? 112 00:05:15,775 --> 00:05:18,444 They've existed in Seattle since the Boat Party Massacre. 113 00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:21,447 I examined several dead ones. 114 00:05:21,698 --> 00:05:23,449 I found brains in their digestive tracts 115 00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,201 and something under their fingernails. 116 00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:28,955 A substance which makes a zombie's scratch highly contagious. 117 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,291 Which means trying to abduct one of them 118 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:35,044 could start the very apocalypse we are trying to prevent. 119 00:05:35,253 --> 00:05:36,421 You said you could help. 120 00:05:36,671 --> 00:05:39,340 I'm close to developing a vaccine. 121 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,093 One that will protect humans from the zombie contagion. 122 00:05:42,969 --> 00:05:43,970 How close? 123 00:05:44,804 --> 00:05:47,765 Like, a few weeks, at most. 124 00:05:48,558 --> 00:05:50,935 According to Google, Dr. Chakrabarti 125 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,604 did, in fact, work for the CDC. 126 00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:54,939 He is who he says he is. 127 00:05:56,316 --> 00:05:57,275 Okay. 128 00:05:58,318 --> 00:06:00,278 We start surveilling all known zombies, 129 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,323 but no contact while the doctor works on the vaccine. 130 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,407 (CROWD MURMURING) 131 00:06:07,702 --> 00:06:10,955 ETA 15 minutes? Ugh. 132 00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:18,421 Hey, Chakrabarti! 133 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,467 What's up, Doc? 134 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,470 Good work putting the brakes on the kidnapping talk. 135 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,013 I'm Rachel, by the way. 136 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:28,848 Ravi. 137 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:31,768 Do you need a lift? I'm faster than Uber. 138 00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:34,270 Sure. Thank you. 139 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,813 I'm just over there. 140 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,194 Actually, their plan makes a lot of sense. 141 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,738 It's just, uh, premature. 142 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,407 Kidnapping? That's not why I showed up to this thing. 143 00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:48,284 Well, what brought you here? 144 00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:49,786 I'm a photographer. 145 00:06:50,036 --> 00:06:51,204 I want to shoot a zombie. 146 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,873 - I've already got a Nessie and a Sasquatch. - Oh. 147 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:58,336 I thought this was my ride. 148 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,340 Nope. This is. 149 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:08,721 DAN: You encounter a beautiful elfin creature, who offers to whisk you away on her steed. 150 00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:10,681 What do you do? 151 00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:14,268 The elf awaits. 152 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,480 Will you join me, stranger? 153 00:07:18,231 --> 00:07:21,067 - Am I strong enough to get up on her horse? - You know you are. 154 00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:24,320 Then, yes, milady. 155 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,491 You mount the horse successfully. 156 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,327 Your compatriots proceed on foot. 157 00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:34,872 After a half-day's journey, you come to a tavern. 158 00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:39,043 Well, if there's anyone more dangerous than a gnome textile merchant inside, 159 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:40,545 we flee in terror. 160 00:07:40,753 --> 00:07:43,881 We do not flee in terror. 161 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:46,426 We enter and approach the bar. 162 00:07:47,093 --> 00:07:49,887 DAN: An ancient barkeep approaches. 163 00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,222 To Queen Larissa! 164 00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:53,891 ALL: Giver of life! 165 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,357 Fair warning, strangers, 166 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:06,404 a Ranger by the name of Longstockings was in here earlier, 167 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,281 asking about... 168 00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:11,576 Oh, he's choking. 169 00:08:11,826 --> 00:08:13,494 I'll give him ye old Heimlich. 170 00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:15,329 I have a healing potion. 171 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:18,708 Seriously, Dan. Longstockings was asking about what? 172 00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:23,129 - Dan. - I think this might really be happening. 173 00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:24,464 Holy crap. 174 00:08:24,714 --> 00:08:25,631 Who knows CPR? 175 00:08:32,472 --> 00:08:34,932 So, our Harley Johns followers want to kidnap a zombie? 176 00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:37,268 Yes. But, happily, not until I finish 177 00:08:37,477 --> 00:08:39,645 my utterly fictional anti-zombie vaccine. 178 00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:42,190 - Quick thinking. - It only buys us a couple of weeks. 179 00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,192 If they're willing to kidnap, they're willing to murder. 180 00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:47,111 Well, they seem like people that would execute a zombie family without blinking, 181 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,070 but they didn't say anything about the Tuttle-Reid case. 182 00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,072 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 183 00:08:56,871 --> 00:08:59,790 Victim's name is Dan Harbinson, 34. 184 00:09:02,293 --> 00:09:03,336 Uh... 185 00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:06,547 What the hell am I looking at? 186 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,174 Dungeons & Dragons. 187 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,968 The granddaddy of all fantasy role-playing games. 188 00:09:11,177 --> 00:09:12,720 So, the victim has kids? 189 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,054 Adults play it, too. 190 00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,681 I bet you were so into this. 191 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,684 Do I look like a nerd? 192 00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,146 - Detective. - What you got? 193 00:09:22,355 --> 00:09:25,233 Vic keeled over in the middle of game night after taking a swig of wine. 194 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:27,610 One of the players called it in at 2:07 a.m. 195 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,112 - The other players still here? - Yeah. This way. 196 00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:32,281 - A couple of them work at the station. - Cops? 197 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:33,616 Not exactly. 198 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:42,333 See what I mean? Nerds. 199 00:09:42,542 --> 00:09:45,545 Ah. Finally some friendly faces. 200 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,712 Mind if I get my bag? 201 00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:49,840 Sorry, Jimmy. Everything in there is evidence. Sit. 202 00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:54,136 How often do you all get together for these game nights? 203 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:57,890 Weekly. Dan's been our DM almost seven years now. 204 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,226 - DM? - Dungeon Master. 205 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,520 Basically like a referee. 206 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,313 He creates the details in the adventure, 207 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:07,483 and describes what the players see and hear along the way. 208 00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:09,485 Including the other characters we encounter. 209 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,028 Dragon, diplomat. 210 00:10:11,237 --> 00:10:14,031 Dan's final character, a common barkeep. 211 00:10:14,824 --> 00:10:17,450 Toasted the Queen, quaffed mead from the Grail of Eternal Buzzery, 212 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,160 and crossed over the River Styx. 213 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,997 RAVI: The wine was poisoned. 214 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,455 CLIVE: What type of poison? 215 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,709 An extremely rare one. Gelsemine. 216 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,419 Any of the players could've slipped it into the open wine bottle 217 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,338 while Dan and the others were absorbed by the game. 218 00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:32,091 Those were in his pockets. 219 00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:37,805 I can't believe grown adults play this for hours at a time. 220 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,056 Grown nerds. 221 00:10:41,434 --> 00:10:43,394 Mmm. Who's hungry? 222 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:03,080 Vampire Steve's up first. Ready? 223 00:11:03,289 --> 00:11:04,540 The question is, "Are you?" 224 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,669 Sixty feet away, your first suspect awaits. 225 00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:11,422 A nocturnal creature whose loyalties are in question. 226 00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:13,049 Strength, below average. 227 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,009 Charisma, below average. 228 00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:16,427 What do you do? 229 00:11:16,636 --> 00:11:17,637 I go in and question him. 230 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:23,434 You coming? 231 00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:29,523 Indeed I am. 232 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,903 CLIVE: It says here your DM made his living playing online poker. 233 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,946 Any idea how much Dan earned? 234 00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:38,449 Master Dan didn't speak of his wealth, 235 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,826 but he must've been doing quite well, indeed. 236 00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,703 He bought original cover art 237 00:11:42,912 --> 00:11:45,998 to an Ogden Twiddlyhut and the Valiant Men of Golden Glen. 238 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:49,377 I've seen those sell for as much as $10,000. 239 00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,672 You know, that's not listed in our crime scene inventory. 240 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,174 It was hanging above his fireplace last week. 241 00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,551 How long have you been playing in Dan's campaign? 242 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,053 Nigh unto seven years. 243 00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,347 Why were you all playing first level characters? 244 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,724 We were a party of heroes and legends, 245 00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:06,644 but we were slain last week in the Caverns of Varag. 246 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:07,978 I know them well. 247 00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:10,773 Danger lurks behind every stalactite. 248 00:12:11,482 --> 00:12:13,776 And how did you come to meet your untimely demise? 249 00:12:15,945 --> 00:12:18,364 Darts dipped in Pit Fiend venom. 250 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,616 Our thief failed to detect a trap. 251 00:12:20,825 --> 00:12:23,202 Your group was pretend-killed by poison last week, 252 00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:27,081 and this week, your dungeon master was real-life-killed by poison. 253 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:30,292 Even though the Reverend Deodato was wearing his Absorption Stone. 254 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:32,795 He should've been immune to poison. 255 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,297 Who is Reverend Dodle Doodle? 256 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:36,757 My 15-level cleric. 257 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,759 LIV: (HITS TABLE) Fool! You were in a cavern! 258 00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:41,595 - Your Absorption Stone would be worthless. - So sayeth you. 259 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:45,349 An Absorption Stone doesn't work anywhere untouched by the sun. 260 00:12:45,558 --> 00:12:47,393 Uh... Sun Hammer. 261 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,443 Is it safe to say your group of heroes and legends 262 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,611 had grown attached to these old characters? 263 00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,448 Not attached enough to murder our friend, if that's what you're asking. 264 00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:02,700 You can't imagine anyone in your group seeking revenge 265 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,702 for Dan killing your characters? 266 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:08,122 Well, I can't read their minds, obviously. 267 00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,624 I'd put the odds at one in 100. 268 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,674 DAN: Your saving throw fails. 269 00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:20,092 You're all dead. 270 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:22,428 - My saving roll is a three? - It's called a Sun Hammer! 271 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,598 - Are you on some kind of power trip! - You're such a dick, Dan. 272 00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:31,020 I think we're good here. 273 00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:33,397 We'll call you back in if we need anything more. 274 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,195 (DOOR OPENS) 275 00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:40,404 - (DOOR CLOSES) - What'd you see? 276 00:13:40,613 --> 00:13:43,616 The players all lost their minds when their characters died. 277 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,785 They were in Dan's face, screaming at him. 278 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,077 Who do we go to next? 279 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,122 (DIE HITS TABLE) 280 00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,207 Zoe. 281 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:58,130 "Time for vision to start after eating brain, five minutes. 282 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,299 "Length of vision, two hours." 283 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,469 Penmanship, poor. 284 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,679 - How was the ride? - (EXHALES) Primo. 285 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,598 I was in the middle of a dogfight. 286 00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:10,975 Felt like I was shooting real bullets. Shooting down Nazis. 287 00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:12,895 Damn, man. It was intense. 288 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,397 Later, I'm getting with this French girl, 289 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:18,609 and she's nonstop into playing Hide the Baguette, so I'm... 290 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,319 Okay. Got it. Got it. 291 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,156 Boys, we're gonna be rich. 292 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,159 I'm gonna go to Shady Plots 293 00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:29,495 and see if there's any promising new stiffs for blue-juicing. 294 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,790 Meantime, you two start hyping our new product. 295 00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:38,671 - You get all that booze put away? - Can do. 296 00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:56,814 Cleared for takeoff. 297 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,998 Oh, no. 298 00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:19,587 Oh... 299 00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:20,880 Hey. 300 00:15:21,297 --> 00:15:23,841 You know that stealing mail is a federal offense, right? 301 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,176 I was hiding mail. 302 00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:28,304 - Why are you... - Opening my hate mail? 303 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:31,181 Better question, why were you hiding it from me? 304 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:34,351 Because I'm kind and empathetic. 305 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,896 You know, I used to do all right with girls. 306 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:38,564 I suppose I can believe that. 307 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,358 The only girls who don't avoid me completely these days 308 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,027 are the ones out at Fillmore-Graves. 309 00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:45,070 And they're zombies, so that doesn't do me much good. 310 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:47,948 I may never be loved or have sex again 311 00:15:48,157 --> 00:15:51,285 unless I move to some backwards civilization that doesn't consume news. 312 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,536 Like Pullman. 313 00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:53,662 Oh! 314 00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:54,997 Sick Wazzu burn. 315 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,206 Wazzu? 316 00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:58,918 Washington State? 317 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,545 Share my cultural touchstones! 318 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,631 Ah! Listen to this love letter. 319 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,883 When they make a Chaos Killer TV movie, 320 00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:08,636 I hope you watch it in hell with your pal Ted Bundy. 321 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,180 Wait, you didn't actually kill anyone. 322 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,474 Yeah, and the joke's on them. I'm not pals with Ted Bundy either. 323 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:17,811 Ah! This one wishes I'd been blown to bits in the Max Rager explosion. 324 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,898 This one wants my future family kidnapped, so I know how it feels. 325 00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,567 Enough, Major. Stop torturing yourself! 326 00:16:23,776 --> 00:16:24,777 This one 327 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:26,904 says, uh, 328 00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:30,908 - I didn't do it. - Really? 329 00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:35,412 "I know how crazy it must be to get a letter like this from a total stranger. 330 00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:38,123 "But I was also accused of something I didn't do. 331 00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:42,002 "If you ever need a sympathetic ear, I've got two. Shawna." 332 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,632 Monster! 333 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,343 She must've done whatever she was accused of. 334 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,472 Well, she included her phone number. 335 00:16:53,681 --> 00:16:55,307 - Mmm. - And this. 336 00:16:59,019 --> 00:16:59,770 She's cute. 337 00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:06,360 So I read the report you wrote on James Weckler as his prison psychiatrist. 338 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,904 What were you treating him for exactly, Dr. Danforth? 339 00:17:09,113 --> 00:17:10,823 Apparitional hallucinations. 340 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,326 He saw ghosts. Well, a ghost. 341 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:15,911 Of his deceased wife. 342 00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:18,414 I guess it makes sense he'd 343 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:21,000 go looking for comfort elsewhere. 344 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:25,421 - How do you mean? - His supposed murder victim was a dominatrix. 345 00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:26,672 James started out as a client. 346 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,465 (SCOFFS) No way. 347 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,177 James lost all interest in sex after his wife died. 348 00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:34,763 He simply couldn't do anything his wife didn't approve of. 349 00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:36,598 She most certainly would not have approved 350 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:39,476 of him spending his limited funds on a dominatrix. 351 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,273 CLIVE: Man, this really takes me back. 352 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,816 I didn't know you were into comics. 353 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:47,526 Just The Flash. 354 00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:51,113 His dad didn't have much faith in him, either. 355 00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:52,864 Aw... 356 00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:54,615 I'm messing with you. 357 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,493 He was super-fast and he had a cool name. 358 00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:03,959 Liv, look at this. 359 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,462 The Ogden Twiddlyhut thingy. 360 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,797 The one missing from the inventory of Dan's apartment. 361 00:18:09,048 --> 00:18:11,300 On sale for $5,000. 362 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,016 Keep going. 363 00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:23,896 When you finish down there, you can take me to second breakfast. 364 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,067 (ZOE CHUCKLING) 365 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:33,906 ZOE: Sorry. (SIGHS) 366 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,992 Guy needed a moment to say goodbye to his entire comic book collection. 367 00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:39,369 We just had a few more questions. Starting with, 368 00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:41,747 why is Dan's missing cover art here, for sale? 369 00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,041 This is the first time Lady Wellin Marsapple, 370 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,793 hero of the Ogden Twiddlyhut series, 371 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,753 has ever appeared in print. 372 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,506 And who says it's missing? I won it off Dan in a bet. 373 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:53,007 You had five grand to lose in a bet? 374 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,552 Or maybe you didn't bet cash. 375 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:59,640 Maybe you bet some erotic cosplay involving Halfling feet. 376 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,227 Did you guys talk to Jimmy? 377 00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,437 Dan and I hadn't been sleeping together long. 378 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:06,730 We tried to keep it a secret. 379 00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:10,901 But I think that Jimmy saw a naughty text I sent to Dan. 380 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:12,778 So, you and Dan? 381 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:17,699 It's the way he wielded all that power. Oh! It was intoxicating. 382 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,702 Why would Jimmy care if that's how you felt about Dan? 383 00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:23,205 Well, I can tell when a guy's got a crush on me. 384 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:25,290 Like my character, I'm pretty intuitive. 385 00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,378 I wouldn't say I had a crush. 386 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,339 That's funny, given what we found in your bag. 387 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:36,385 Seeing the sketch pad, Jimmy's eyes dart back and forth. 388 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,470 Guilt etched on his face. 389 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,933 - This is very creative. - Mmm-hmm. 390 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,739 Liv saves against upchucking. 391 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,827 And here's you 392 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,413 and Zoe. 393 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,876 - Yeah. - Did you realize Zoe and Dan were sleeping together? 394 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,753 Were you jealous of Dan? 395 00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:16,842 I wonder how far you'd go to win the object of your obsession. 396 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,138 You wanna talk about obsession? You should check out Diego's back. 397 00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:27,603 How long after you got this did you learn Zoe was sleeping with Dan? 398 00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,188 Not long enough. 399 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,731 Steve knew, too. 400 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,691 And he's really into Zoe. 401 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,318 Where did Steve put his tattoo? 402 00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:35,944 (SCOFFS) It's not about his ink. 403 00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:38,989 It's his whole Boys Don't Cry- era Robert Smith thing. 404 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,116 As he is, so has he ever been. 405 00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:43,368 No. He used to be a blond. 406 00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,037 Then he found out Zoe was a Twihard, 407 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,539 and then he became Vampire Steve. 408 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:54,004 Diego told us you did all this 409 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,507 to get with Zoe. 410 00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,509 I came to vampires of my own accord. 411 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,512 It is but one of many interests I happen to share with Zoe. 412 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,139 Name another. 413 00:21:04,348 --> 00:21:05,599 Graphic novels. 414 00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:07,684 Especially those pertaining to vampires. 415 00:21:07,893 --> 00:21:10,062 And yet she chose someone else. 416 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,772 That must have been frustrating. 417 00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,774 I think we may yet be joined in holy union. 418 00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:15,984 Good luck with that. 419 00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:17,027 She's polyandrous, 420 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,613 and would only stay married until a hale child is born. 421 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,699 Plus, you'd need to find a unicorn to sacrifice. 422 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,451 You don't know. I could find a unicorn. 423 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,161 I was talking about real life. 424 00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:27,996 BOTH: Oh. 425 00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:29,873 I think we're done here. 426 00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:32,376 Thank you, Steve. You can go. 427 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:38,674 - (DOOR CLOSES) - The veteran detective 428 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,509 closes his notepad in defeat, 429 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:43,845 as another suspect slips through his fingers. 430 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:47,057 Any of these guys feel like a murderer to you? 431 00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:49,685 None of them could draw blood from a one-eyed kobold. 432 00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:52,312 Yeah, probably not. 433 00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,524 So we should do some more digging. 434 00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,443 On a quest! 435 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:02,906 One that will require a band of eager souls, ready to test their mettle! 436 00:22:03,115 --> 00:22:06,034 Oh, no. You're talking about playing the game, aren't you? 437 00:22:06,243 --> 00:22:07,536 Not just a game, good sir! 438 00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:10,664 A quest! 439 00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:21,550 You each start the campaign with this many gold pieces. 440 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,595 Twenty-seven gold pieces. 441 00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:29,433 I buy a small farm, retire from adventuring. 442 00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,435 We've been diddling around for two hours. 443 00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:32,978 We haven't actually done anything. 444 00:22:33,145 --> 00:22:35,480 The creation of characters is an essential part of the game. 445 00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:37,399 The actual point of which is... 446 00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:40,402 Ooh! To trigger a vision to help solve Dungeon Master Dan's murder. 447 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:43,405 And who might this hirsute stranger be? Introduce yourself. 448 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:49,953 I am Mosco Bandywax of the Mirkwood Bandywaxes. I'm a Halfling monk. 449 00:22:50,162 --> 00:22:51,537 And you, good sir? 450 00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:54,333 I am Sir Jay Esclaborne, the human paladin. 451 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,585 I don't remember your character earning a knighthood. 452 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,962 Oh, he's not a knight. His first name is 453 00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:00,630 - Sirjay. - Clever. 454 00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:01,923 I'll be watching you. 455 00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:03,925 And, you, madam? 456 00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:09,014 Hi. Uh, Brangelina Darksbane. 457 00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:10,640 Dark elf assassin. 458 00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:14,269 And who might this stout fellow be? 459 00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:17,564 Earl. Dwarf fighter. 460 00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:19,149 Earl. 461 00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:22,819 Your story begins. 462 00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:25,781 Night falls on Astergrove. 463 00:23:26,031 --> 00:23:30,952 A hamlet on the frontier of the human kingdom of Oosterglovia. 464 00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:32,913 You have never seen each other before, 465 00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:36,917 but you find yourselves gathered in the study of Georgie Fogglebottom. 466 00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:39,795 Last wizard east of Gloomy Glen. 467 00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:42,506 You regard each other uncomfortably. 468 00:23:44,549 --> 00:23:46,343 You regard each other uncomfortably. 469 00:23:49,554 --> 00:23:52,516 Anyone know if Gloomy Glen is a person or a place? 470 00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,892 Either way, we should steer clear. 471 00:23:54,893 --> 00:23:56,228 Silence. 472 00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:58,563 A door opens in the back of the room, 473 00:23:58,772 --> 00:24:01,607 and in walks a small, unarmed woman 474 00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:02,734 holding a tea cup. 475 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:04,528 She takes a sip, 476 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,740 sits down, and regards the group. 477 00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:13,453 This was the best I could do? 478 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:16,081 Very well. 479 00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:19,835 You will kill the Lich of Castle Rommscoddle. 480 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,044 Lich, please! 481 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:24,548 If you survive, you will bring me his head. 482 00:24:24,756 --> 00:24:26,758 Then, and only then, 483 00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:30,595 will you be showered with treasure befitting your efforts. 484 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:32,472 Sounds dangerous, Mosco. 485 00:24:32,973 --> 00:24:35,434 Maybe you should go outside and wait on your horse. 486 00:24:35,684 --> 00:24:36,893 What's a lich? 487 00:24:37,102 --> 00:24:39,479 Oh, a lich is a terrible creature. 488 00:24:39,688 --> 00:24:41,565 A member of the undead. 489 00:24:42,149 --> 00:24:42,941 Gross! 490 00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:44,067 Kill it! Kill the undead creature! 491 00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:45,193 Let me get this straight. 492 00:24:45,402 --> 00:24:49,156 So, we can go and find Castle What's-His-Nuts, 493 00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:53,284 fight that thing, come back and we'll get rewarded by this little old lady. 494 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:54,911 Or we could just 495 00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:58,372 tie up this little old lady, and take what we want now. 496 00:24:58,373 --> 00:25:00,750 Georgie begins to mutter an incantation. 497 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:02,752 (MUTTERING) 498 00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:05,922 Electricity fires from her hands and strikes Brangelina. 499 00:25:06,173 --> 00:25:07,716 I try to dive in front of the lightning bolt. 500 00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:11,303 Not on this day, Ms. Fogglebottom! (GRUNTS) 501 00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,513 The lightning bolt has already struck Brangelina. 502 00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:17,309 And Mosco lands on the ground in front of her, looking foolish. 503 00:25:17,726 --> 00:25:19,352 Brangelina, you take... 504 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,355 Thirty-four points damage. 505 00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:23,815 How many hit points do you have? 506 00:25:26,651 --> 00:25:27,652 Thirty-four. 507 00:25:28,153 --> 00:25:29,488 Well. I'm dead. 508 00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,072 Uh, good luck with the lich. 509 00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:34,075 I bid thee, Fellowship of the Dorks, goodnight. 510 00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:35,619 Oh, uh, I bind her wounds, 511 00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,662 begin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 512 00:25:37,913 --> 00:25:39,289 I move toward the light. 513 00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:41,082 Mosco won't give up. 514 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:42,542 He keeps performing chest compressions, 515 00:25:42,751 --> 00:25:46,463 keeps engulfing her mouth with his, breathing his life force into hers! 516 00:25:46,671 --> 00:25:48,757 Live! Live, damn you! 517 00:25:50,258 --> 00:25:52,302 Brangelina's eyes flutter open. 518 00:25:52,511 --> 00:25:53,386 (SIGHS) 519 00:25:57,849 --> 00:26:01,645 So, what say you, Fellowship of the Dorks? 520 00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:04,648 Do you venture forth and face the lich 521 00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:07,984 or stay and take your chances with me? 522 00:26:13,782 --> 00:26:16,159 You enter the lich's quarters. You hear muttering. 523 00:26:16,368 --> 00:26:19,829 You look up, and you see the lich perched on a giant wooden chandelier. 524 00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:22,207 A fireball comes hurtling down at you. 525 00:26:22,415 --> 00:26:23,542 CLIVE: Not good. 526 00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:26,211 LIV: Everyone takes 38 points damage. 527 00:26:26,419 --> 00:26:27,254 I'm dead. 528 00:26:27,462 --> 00:26:28,213 I bind her wounds. 529 00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,590 - I begin to... - You're dead, too, Halfling. 530 00:26:31,132 --> 00:26:32,551 Your turn. What do you do? 531 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:33,885 I swing with my long sword. 532 00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:36,471 At what? The Lich is 10 feet above you. 533 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,181 Well, throw something! 534 00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:40,100 Isn't there a stone somewhere? Don't you have a dagger? 535 00:26:40,267 --> 00:26:41,601 - The dwarf! - Say what? 536 00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:43,270 I throw the dwarf up to the chandelier. 537 00:26:43,478 --> 00:26:44,271 I've got 18 strength. 538 00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:45,939 Does the dwarf allow himself to be thrown? 539 00:26:46,731 --> 00:26:47,983 Yeah, fine. 540 00:26:48,191 --> 00:26:50,068 Sirjay throws Earl up to the chandelier. 541 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,572 He sticks the landing. Earl, what do you do? 542 00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:58,118 I cleave this undead hellspawn in twain with my Ax of the Dwarven Gods. 543 00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:03,915 You hit. Roll for damage. 544 00:27:05,584 --> 00:27:07,002 Booyah! 545 00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:10,547 How you like old Earl now, you damn dirty lich? 546 00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:12,215 Is it dead? 547 00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,009 The lich looks badly wounded, 548 00:27:14,259 --> 00:27:15,760 but it launches itself from the chandelier, 549 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,471 and disappears from view as it enters this antechamber. 550 00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:21,474 - We give chase! - You go into the chamber, but the lich is gone. 551 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,476 We search the room for secret doors. 552 00:27:26,104 --> 00:27:27,147 ZOE: Dan? 553 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:30,025 What the hell is this place? 554 00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:32,193 Has this room always been here? 555 00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,573 - What did you see? - A secret door. 556 00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:38,074 In Dan's apartment. 557 00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:39,284 Great, we're done here. 558 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:41,328 No, we're not. 559 00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:44,039 Where is the lich? 560 00:27:48,460 --> 00:27:52,672 Boy, Georgie Fogglebottom's face when I reached into my bag of holding 561 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:56,217 and pulled out that lich head, like... Yeah! 562 00:27:56,468 --> 00:27:58,011 What do you think of them apples? 563 00:27:58,219 --> 00:27:59,220 I was there. 564 00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:02,182 I think playing all night might've been a bad idea. 565 00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:07,062 Now that I've leveled up, I get two attacks a round. That's gonna be tight. 566 00:28:07,270 --> 00:28:09,064 Hey, maybe we could have a regular game. 567 00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,650 You could save a little Dan brain, eat some every week. 568 00:28:11,858 --> 00:28:14,152 Clive, I saw that suit of armor in my vision. 569 00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:17,030 It means the hidden door to the secret room must be... 570 00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:20,033 There. 571 00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:33,838 (GROANS) White people. 572 00:28:36,508 --> 00:28:38,385 A computer geek's paradise. 573 00:28:40,261 --> 00:28:41,596 What the hell am I looking at? 574 00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:43,765 LIV: "Remote fuel rod system override. 575 00:28:43,973 --> 00:28:45,600 "Leningrad Nuclear Power Plant." 576 00:28:45,809 --> 00:28:47,602 When did you learn to read Russian? 577 00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:49,145 LIV: A couple of days ago. 578 00:28:49,854 --> 00:28:51,731 You know Russian, maybe you know passwords. 579 00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:53,400 LIV: Let's see. 580 00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:55,860 Apparently not. 581 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:05,245 (SIGHS) I'm gonna tell Devore what we found. 582 00:29:05,453 --> 00:29:06,496 Let's bring Zoe in tomorrow. 583 00:29:06,705 --> 00:29:08,164 See what she knew about this room 584 00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:10,333 and Dan's interest in Russian power plants. 585 00:29:12,043 --> 00:29:13,669 Yeah, I knew about the secret room. 586 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:14,963 How'd you find it? 587 00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:16,673 I went over to Dan's one day, 588 00:29:16,881 --> 00:29:18,717 heard music coming from behind the wall, 589 00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:20,593 pushed on the bookcase and there it was. 590 00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:23,596 She's done here. 591 00:29:23,763 --> 00:29:24,764 You can go. 592 00:29:28,268 --> 00:29:29,602 We're shutting down the case. 593 00:29:29,853 --> 00:29:31,479 - Why? - The FBI stepped in. 594 00:29:31,688 --> 00:29:33,481 They're chasing the cyber-crime angle. 595 00:29:33,648 --> 00:29:35,483 They think that your victim might have been poisoned 596 00:29:35,692 --> 00:29:38,611 by a Russian agent to stop him from hacking into their system. 597 00:29:38,778 --> 00:29:41,948 You know, that actually makes more sense than any of our suspects. 598 00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:43,241 Let the Feds figure it out. 599 00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:44,784 They put Bozzio on it. 600 00:29:46,161 --> 00:29:49,080 - Bozzio? - She was here a minute ago. You must've just missed her. 601 00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:15,899 What you looking for? 602 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:19,944 You. 603 00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:25,950 You were right about Major Lilywhite not being a mass murderer. 604 00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:29,078 Turns out he was just a mass kidnapper. 605 00:30:32,457 --> 00:30:33,374 I've wanted to talk, 606 00:30:33,583 --> 00:30:38,963 but I figured after leaving a dozen messages, the feeling wasn't mutual. 607 00:30:39,714 --> 00:30:41,633 Didn't seem like much for me to say. 608 00:30:43,426 --> 00:30:44,344 Still doesn't. 609 00:30:47,055 --> 00:30:48,932 Unless you have something new to add. 610 00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,108 How about this? 611 00:31:02,070 --> 00:31:03,655 I haven't stopped thinking about you. 612 00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:09,869 I'm absolutely lost without you. 613 00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:13,873 I meant about the case. 614 00:31:21,339 --> 00:31:22,632 My Uber is here. 615 00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:25,426 So, about this new case, uh, 616 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:27,929 you like anyone for it? 617 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:31,015 It's my case, Clive. 618 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:35,228 And I'm afraid I can't trust you with that information. 619 00:31:53,788 --> 00:31:55,206 Thanks for the brain mush. 620 00:31:55,665 --> 00:31:59,085 That is the first time anyone has ever been thanked for that stuff. 621 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:01,462 I just really want to be myself for Justin tonight. 622 00:32:01,713 --> 00:32:04,716 No prob. I've got a freezer full of Z-rations since I took the cure. 623 00:32:06,801 --> 00:32:08,553 She discards the empty tube, 624 00:32:09,053 --> 00:32:12,515 eager to escape the clutches of the Dungeon Master's brain, but knowing that... 625 00:32:13,808 --> 00:32:15,643 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 626 00:32:15,852 --> 00:32:17,103 Don't narrate. Just be. 627 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:20,732 Here. Take these. 628 00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:22,901 Don't let me have them back, even if I beg. 629 00:32:29,324 --> 00:32:30,867 Whoa. 630 00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,536 You look... (GROWLS) 631 00:32:33,745 --> 00:32:35,371 LIV: (GIGGLES) The young woman melts 632 00:32:35,580 --> 00:32:38,416 as her suitor makes sounds indicating that her dress is a success. 633 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:39,459 Yeah. 634 00:32:40,043 --> 00:32:41,002 I should get going. 635 00:32:41,210 --> 00:32:42,795 That video game's not going to play itself. 636 00:32:44,589 --> 00:32:46,966 Sorry you're not helping out with security. 637 00:32:47,175 --> 00:32:48,926 Baracus is already down in the polls. 638 00:32:48,927 --> 00:32:51,012 He doesn't want the Chaos Killer at his fundraiser. 639 00:32:51,262 --> 00:32:52,513 More shrimp for me. 640 00:32:54,891 --> 00:32:57,477 So, what do you even do at a political fundraiser? 641 00:32:57,685 --> 00:33:01,397 - I'm pretty sure it's all about hobnobbing. - Bring it on. 642 00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:05,276 Look alive, boys! Messerschmitts at 10 o'clock! 643 00:33:07,654 --> 00:33:09,656 Two more coming your way, Shorty! 644 00:33:10,615 --> 00:33:12,784 (DON E. BREATHING HEAVILY) 645 00:33:12,992 --> 00:33:14,953 Number three is hit, Cap! Shut 'er down! 646 00:33:15,745 --> 00:33:18,539 Here comes another, almost in range. 647 00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:21,626 Don't be shy, Fritz. I got a little present for you. 648 00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:28,341 See you in hell, you Nazi bastard! 649 00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:30,551 Dude, how much brain did you take? 650 00:33:32,845 --> 00:33:35,390 Direct hit! We're going down! 651 00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:37,725 Bail out! 652 00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:48,778 He'll be okay, right? 653 00:33:49,612 --> 00:33:51,572 (INHALES) Don't care. 654 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,837 (CHATTERING AND LAUGHING) 655 00:34:10,967 --> 00:34:12,468 I've got first shift. 656 00:34:12,677 --> 00:34:14,679 - See you after work, honey? - Keep us safe. 657 00:34:21,269 --> 00:34:22,562 Liv Moore, 658 00:34:22,770 --> 00:34:25,523 I'd like you to meet the new head of Fillmore-Graves, Chase Graves. 659 00:34:25,732 --> 00:34:28,901 Mr. Graves, I am so sorry about Vivian. I greatly admired... 660 00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:30,695 Where do we stand on the Tuttle-Reid investigation? 661 00:34:32,238 --> 00:34:35,408 (SOFTLY) Well, there's a group here in Seattle that believes zombies escaped... 662 00:34:35,616 --> 00:34:37,577 From the Max Rager party. I know. I've been briefed. 663 00:34:38,036 --> 00:34:40,788 Do you have hard evidence that can put them away for murdering that zombie family? 664 00:34:41,664 --> 00:34:45,625 Not yet. But we've got someone on the inside of Harley Johns' group. 665 00:34:45,626 --> 00:34:47,587 You do understand the urgency, don't you? 666 00:34:47,795 --> 00:34:49,047 Zombie Island won't be ready for some time. 667 00:34:49,255 --> 00:34:51,758 If D-Day happens before we're ready, we could face extinction. 668 00:34:51,966 --> 00:34:52,967 I know this. 669 00:34:53,176 --> 00:34:56,471 My partner and I are risking our careers to pursue it on our own time. 670 00:34:56,679 --> 00:34:58,014 It's not even our case. 671 00:34:58,222 --> 00:35:00,641 Your partner. A human who you told about us. 672 00:35:00,850 --> 00:35:02,560 A human who risked his life for zombies. 673 00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:04,395 Who gave up the woman he loved for zombies. 674 00:35:04,645 --> 00:35:05,980 Yeah. That guy. 675 00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:10,777 That's a great dress. 676 00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:15,073 Carey. I should probably meet this mayoral candidate we're bankrolling. 677 00:35:15,823 --> 00:35:17,450 Nice meeting you, Miss Moore. 678 00:35:17,658 --> 00:35:20,244 Having one of our own on the force is good for us all. 679 00:35:25,124 --> 00:35:26,626 Why don't we have any drinks yet? 680 00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:30,463 What happened? I thought you were getting ready at home and coming with us. 681 00:35:30,671 --> 00:35:33,007 I had too much to do. I came here straight from work. 682 00:35:33,216 --> 00:35:35,927 From now on, could you at least pretend that this takes some effort? 683 00:35:37,553 --> 00:35:38,471 Free booze! 684 00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:42,016 Oh, uh, grab me a Scotch. I need to talk to my boss. 685 00:35:47,605 --> 00:35:49,482 - All right. Who's gonna be the next mayor? - Me! 686 00:35:49,732 --> 00:35:51,192 (LAUGHS) Oh! 687 00:35:51,442 --> 00:35:52,985 Thank you very much. Thank you. 688 00:35:56,364 --> 00:35:57,323 Great stuff. 689 00:35:57,532 --> 00:35:59,325 Auction begins in 90 minutes. 690 00:35:59,534 --> 00:36:01,160 Until then, I'll keep Buck. 691 00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:02,411 You work the crowd. 692 00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:05,373 Oh, and, um, Chase wants to meet you when you have a minute. 693 00:36:05,540 --> 00:36:08,668 - Who? - Only the most important zombie on this planet. 694 00:36:08,876 --> 00:36:09,877 Right. Chase Graves. 695 00:36:10,086 --> 00:36:11,462 Endeavor to impress. 696 00:36:11,671 --> 00:36:13,548 Okay. We'll see you soon. 697 00:36:13,756 --> 00:36:15,675 Hey, Daniel. Good to see you. 698 00:36:15,883 --> 00:36:17,343 - Thanks for coming out. - Floyd. 699 00:36:17,552 --> 00:36:18,845 Sorry to interrupt with an office matter, 700 00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:20,513 but you haven't been around much lately. 701 00:36:20,721 --> 00:36:22,682 I just... I had a few questions to run by you. 702 00:36:22,890 --> 00:36:24,767 - Yeah. - On the Weckler case. 703 00:36:26,394 --> 00:36:27,562 The murdered dominatrix. 704 00:36:28,479 --> 00:36:29,355 We have a confession. 705 00:36:30,231 --> 00:36:31,941 There's something fishy about it. 706 00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:35,862 My old boss used to tell me, "When you win a case, get out of the courtroom." 707 00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:38,322 Let it go. 708 00:36:39,407 --> 00:36:40,658 Go have some fun, Peyton. 709 00:36:41,492 --> 00:36:42,410 Hey. 710 00:36:46,747 --> 00:36:50,543 - Well, that went over like a fart in a phone booth. - What? 711 00:36:50,751 --> 00:36:52,545 I just tried to ask my boss about the murdered dominatrix case, 712 00:36:52,753 --> 00:36:55,131 and he practically sprinted away. Told me to drop it. 713 00:36:55,798 --> 00:36:57,383 Maybe that has something to do with the fact 714 00:36:57,550 --> 00:37:00,636 that your boss was one of the dominatrix's clients. 715 00:37:03,139 --> 00:37:04,056 Tell me everything. 716 00:37:13,649 --> 00:37:15,568 Hey, Doc. You got a minute? 717 00:37:17,028 --> 00:37:17,904 Uh... 718 00:37:20,489 --> 00:37:22,200 We caught ourselves a zombie. 719 00:37:22,408 --> 00:37:24,410 What happened to waiting until I finish the vaccine? 720 00:37:24,619 --> 00:37:26,704 You know, we've got our eyes on all those Chaos Killer zombies. 721 00:37:26,954 --> 00:37:29,122 They've got security details, and those security details 722 00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,000 all end up at the same underground bar. 723 00:37:31,209 --> 00:37:32,585 That's where we found this one. 724 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,962 Alone, wandering around. Pretty out of it. 725 00:37:35,171 --> 00:37:36,756 Figured you'd have tranquilizers. 726 00:37:37,006 --> 00:37:39,091 We need something to mellow out this freak without killing it. 727 00:37:39,258 --> 00:37:40,551 You're sure you captured a... 728 00:37:43,221 --> 00:37:44,138 Zombie? 729 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:45,473 Pretty damn sure. 730 00:37:55,608 --> 00:37:59,278 It's time to stop feeling lethargic, bloated, gassy and foggy-headed. 731 00:37:59,487 --> 00:38:02,406 Take the cleanse, the Mega Bio Muesli cleanse. 732 00:38:02,615 --> 00:38:05,243 (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) 733 00:38:09,914 --> 00:38:10,831 (SHUTS OFF TV) 734 00:38:22,677 --> 00:38:23,761 Hey, there. 735 00:38:24,387 --> 00:38:27,014 Guess who's off duty and ready to hobnob his ass off. 736 00:38:27,223 --> 00:38:28,224 Really? 737 00:38:28,432 --> 00:38:29,934 'Cause I'm all hobnobbed out. 738 00:38:30,142 --> 00:38:34,063 And I was hoping to take some Fillmore-Graves soldier home, make love, 739 00:38:34,272 --> 00:38:38,859 and immediately fall asleep without a follow-up conversation. 740 00:38:39,068 --> 00:38:40,152 - Check, please! - (LAUGHS) 741 00:38:40,987 --> 00:38:41,779 Oh, look. 742 00:38:41,988 --> 00:38:44,907 It's your new boss chitchatting with the zombie-who-would-be-mayor 743 00:38:45,116 --> 00:38:46,784 if he weren't such a terrible candidate. 744 00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:48,369 Have you met Chase Graves, yet? 745 00:38:48,577 --> 00:38:49,870 I'm not sure what I think. 746 00:38:50,079 --> 00:38:52,415 I have met him. The day he arrived, in fact. 747 00:38:53,374 --> 00:38:55,626 He found out we stole a six pack of Super Max, 748 00:38:55,835 --> 00:38:56,711 and he shot me in the chest. 749 00:38:56,919 --> 00:38:57,962 He did not. 750 00:38:58,671 --> 00:39:01,632 Liv, this is sweet, but there could not be nothing worse for me than... Liv! 751 00:39:01,841 --> 00:39:02,675 Liv! 752 00:39:02,883 --> 00:39:03,843 - (GUN FIRES) - (SCREAMING) 753 00:39:10,558 --> 00:39:11,475 Dad! 754 00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:13,477 Stay down. 755 00:39:15,479 --> 00:39:17,440 - Take the boy. I've got Baracus. - I'm on it. 756 00:39:17,690 --> 00:39:19,483 Floyd. Let Carey take your boy. 757 00:39:19,692 --> 00:39:21,027 You need to calm down. 758 00:39:21,235 --> 00:39:22,194 CAREY: Let's go, Buck. 759 00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:23,571 Your dad's gonna be fine. 760 00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:25,072 Eyes on me. 761 00:39:26,032 --> 00:39:28,409 Deep, steady breaths. 762 00:39:28,617 --> 00:39:29,869 Miss, I'm a doctor! 763 00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:32,121 So am I. Stay out of my way! 764 00:39:43,966 --> 00:39:44,967 (DOORBELL RINGS) 765 00:40:00,733 --> 00:40:03,069 - Shawna. - Major. 766 00:40:03,319 --> 00:40:04,653 Chaos Killer in the flesh. 767 00:40:05,654 --> 00:40:06,572 Come on in. 768 00:40:14,163 --> 00:40:16,332 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 769 00:40:16,582 --> 00:40:20,044 The man was willing to literally take a bullet for his son. 770 00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:21,670 Can you imagine what that would be like, 771 00:40:21,879 --> 00:40:23,714 growing up with a father that cares that much? 772 00:40:24,298 --> 00:40:26,467 Yeah. Me, neither. 773 00:40:27,426 --> 00:40:28,386 Hungry? 774 00:40:33,682 --> 00:40:35,935 That's from an impotent proctologist, by the way. 775 00:40:37,019 --> 00:40:37,978 Enjoy. 776 00:40:40,022 --> 00:40:42,817 Taking that bullet should do wonders for Baracus' poll numbers. 777 00:40:43,818 --> 00:40:45,152 And a zombie mayor? 778 00:40:46,237 --> 00:40:47,822 That'll help me as well. 779 00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:49,115 (LAUGHS) 780 00:40:49,323 --> 00:40:50,199 You see what I did there? 781 00:40:52,451 --> 00:40:53,411 (SPLASHING) 782 00:40:53,619 --> 00:40:55,162 Oh, Father, 783 00:40:55,371 --> 00:40:58,040 I'm so glad you're still around to experience this. 784 00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:00,459 It's like all my wishes are coming true. 785 00:41:26,569 --> 00:41:28,821 Welcome back to the United States. 786 00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:31,114 How long are you gonna be in Seattle? 787 00:41:31,115 --> 00:41:33,784 Just long enough to get my money and settle some old debts. 788 00:41:36,036 --> 00:41:37,830 Tell your ma hi for me, will you, Spence?