1 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:11,678 Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS." 2 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:18,018 MICHAEL MOORE -- HOST OF "THE RICH EISEN SHOW," RICH EISEN - 3 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:24,791 AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK" - FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH VALERIE FRANCO 4 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:31,364 AND NOW SETH MEYERS. Seth: GOOD EVENING, I'M SETH MEYERS AND THIS IS "LATE 5 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,433 NIGHT. HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING TONIGHT? THAT'S GREAT TO HEAR 6 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,502 LET'S GET TO THE NEWS. PRESIDENT TRUMP IS SCHEDULED TO PARDON THE ANNUAL THANKSGIVING 7 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:44,010 TURKEY NEXT WEEK AT THE WHITE HOUSE. BUT I THINK THEY'RE GOING FOR A 8 00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,779 LEGAL LOOPHOLE BECAUSE THEY NAMED THE TURKEY DONALD TRUMP. "I HEREBY PARDON DONALD TRUMP, 9 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:51,284 NO TAKEBACKS." PRESIDENT TRUMP HAD NOTHING ON HIS PUBLIC SCHEDULE TODAY. 10 00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,987 NOTHING? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED 11 00:00:53,987 --> 00:01:02,395 STATES BUT YOU HAVE THE SAME SCHEDULE AS A TIBETAN MONK "TODAY I HAVE NOTHING. 12 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:07,967 I WILL DO NOTHING. I AM NOTHING." PRESIDENT TRUMP'S LAWYER 13 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,070 RUDY GIULIANI TODAY HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE IT WAS GOING TO BE IN THE ROSE 14 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:14,774 GARDEN BUT HE ACCIDENTALLY BOOKED OLIVE CLASSIC RUDY 15 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:18,912 PRESIDENT TRUMP'S PERSONAL LAWYER RUDY GIULIANI THIS WEEK MADE HIS FIRST IN-PERSON 16 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:25,785 APPEARANCE IN FEDERAL COURT SINCE THE EARLY 1990s, AND YOU COULD TELL 17 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:31,257 DURING YESTERDAY'S SHOW "FOX & FRIENDS" HOST BRIAN KILMEADE SAID THAT IT IS QUOTE, "IN THE 18 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,460 COUNTRY'S BEST INTEREST THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP BEGINS COORDINATING WITH 19 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,096 PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN. YOU KNOW, I'VE SAID A LOT OF MEAN THINGS ABOUT 20 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:42,002 BRIAN KILMEADE THE OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE ARRIVED THIS WEEK 21 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:49,542 IN WASHINGTON WHERE IT WAS MET BY FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP AND HER WOOD CHIPPER 22 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:56,016 TOMORROW IS PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN'S 78th BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. PRESIDENT, 23 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,284 SAID REPUBLICANS TO TRUMP. THE NYPD ANNOUNCED THAT IT'S LAUNCHED AN INVESTIGATION AFTER 24 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:02,655 A VIDEO WAS POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA OF A MAN USING A FLAME THROWER ON TOP OF A CROWDED CITY 25 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:05,291 BUS. HONESTLY, I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYTHING MORE TERRIFYING THAN A 26 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:12,632 CROWDED CITY BUS TODAY WAS NATIONAL PLAY MONOPOLY DAY, WHICH MEANS SATURDAY IS 27 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:17,203 NATIONAL FINISH PLAYING MONOPOLY DAY. AND FINALLY, ACCORDING TO A NEW 28 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,839 SURVEY, 86% OF PET OWNERS SAID THAT THEIR ANIMALS' COMPANIONSHIP HAS HELPED THEM 29 00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:23,977 THROUGH 2020 THE OTHER 14% HAVE A CAT AND THAT WAS THE MONOLOGUE 30 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:32,952 EVERYBODY! WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 31 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,755 HE'S THE HOST OF "THE RUMBLE WITH MICHAEL MOORE PODCAST." I ALWAYS LOVE TALKING TO HIM 32 00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:39,626 MICHAEL MOORE IS BACK, EVERYBODY. AND HE IS AN EMMY NOMINATED 33 00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:43,129 SPORTSCASTER HE HOSTS "THE RICH EISEN SHOW" EVERY DAY ON PEACOCK 34 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:47,367 RICH EISEN WILL BE JOINING ME. BUT BEFORE WE GET TO ALL THAT, PRESIDENT TRUMP'S ATTEMPTED COUP 35 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:52,505 KEEPS GETTING DUMBER AND MORE DESPERATE. TODAY HIS LAWYER, RUDY GIULIANI, 36 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,374 HAD A MELTDOWN LIVE ON TELEVISION AS TRUMP TRIED TO OVERTURN THE WILL OF THE VOTERS 37 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:59,879 IN MICHIGAN. FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR "A CLOSER LOOK." 38 00:02:59,879 --> 00:02:59,913 FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR "A CLOSER LOOK." 39 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:09,122 Seth: LET'S START WITH SOME GOOD NEWS BECAUSE GOD KNOWS WE 40 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,890 NEED IT. FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS I'VE BEEN POPPING ATIVAN LIKE THEY'RE 41 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:16,229 ALTOIDS. ALTHOUGH IN FAIRNESS, THEY SHOULDN'T SELL THEM IN 42 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:21,701 SIMILAR-LOOKING TINS EARLY DATA SUGGESTS WE MAY HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO HIGHLY EFFECTIVE 43 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,970 CORONAVIRUS VACCINES AND IN PARTICULAR PFIZER SAYS THEY'RE READY TO ASK THE FDA FOR 44 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,306 EMERGENCY USE AUTHORIZATION WITHIN DAYS. MEANWHILE TODAY, OXFORD AND 45 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:32,078 ASTRAZENECA REPORTED THAT THEIR VACCINE HAS GENERATED A STRONG IMMUNE RESPONSE IN OLDER ADULTS. 46 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:36,349 HONESTLY, I'M SO READY FOR THIS VACCINE, I'VE BEEN SHOWING UP TO MY LOCAL CVS IN A TANK TOP 47 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:39,853 WAITING FOR A SHOT IN MY ARM MY PHARMACIST TOLD ME, YOU LOOK LIKE LATE NIGHT WRITER 48 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:47,961 MIKE SCOLLINS. YEAH, THIS BURN ALSO IS GOING TO HAVE MULTIPLE WAVES, SCOLLINS. 49 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,296 ANYWAY, DOCTORS AND PUBLIC HEALTH OFFICIALS WHO HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS THROUGHOUT 50 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:55,702 THIS ENTIRE PANDEMIC ARE STARTING TO TELL US THERE REALLY ARE GLIMMERS OF HOPE 51 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:58,271 WE JUST HAVE TO PULL TOGETHER AND GET THROUGH WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE A BRUTAL WINTER 52 00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:58,304 AND GET THROUGH WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE A BRUTAL WINTER 53 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,275 WITH THESE TWO PROMISING VACCINES 54 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:08,048 WE JUST HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS WINTER WE CAN DO IT 55 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,784 WE CAN PUT OFF CELEBRATING THANKSGIVING IN PERSON LET'S HAVE THANKSGIVING IN JULY. 56 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:14,621 Seth: GREAT, I LOVE THAT IDEA THANKSGIVING SUCKS WHERE IT IS 57 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,690 NOW. IT'S TOO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS. WE DON'T NEED BACK-TO-BACK 58 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:20,193 HOLIDAYS WHERE WE GO HOME AND SLEEP ON A TWIN BED AFTER MAINLINING GRAVY 59 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,363 MOVE IT TO JULY AND WE CAN STUFF A BIRD FULL OF BOTTLE ROCKETS AND LAUNCH IT STRAIGHT INTO THE 60 00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:31,137 SKY, AKA, FIRE TURKS THE WRITER OF THIS PIECE, SAL GENTILE, WANTED ME TO STRESS 61 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:34,074 THAT FIRE TURKS WAS NOT IN HIS ORIGINAL DRAFT AND THAT I ADDED IT AFTER THE FACT. 62 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:39,212 AND I DON'T CARE I'LL OWN IT. HOWEVER SAL DID WRITE THAT 63 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:43,083 SCOLLINS BURN AND HE WASN'T EVEN IN THE ORIGINAL ZOOM MEETING WHEN SCOLLINS WORE THE TANK TOP. 64 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,885 THAT'S HOW RIDICULOUS YOU LOOK, MIKE HE HEARD IT SECOND HAND AND HE'S 65 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:50,256 BURNING YOU. ANYWAY, WE CAN COMBINE THE TRADITIONS OF BOTH HOLIDAYS INTO 66 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:53,526 ONE. GRAVY ON OUR HOT DOGS, CRANBERRIES ON OUR HAMBURGERS 67 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:55,261 AND INSTEAD OF FOOTBALL WE CAN FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH WATCHING THE DETROIT LIONS LOSE 68 00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:59,332 AT WIMBLEDON I'M SORRY, WHY IS IT THE LIONS EVERY YEAR 69 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:05,238 BECAUSE TRADITION. WE JUST NEED TO GET THROUGH THIS BLEAK WINTER BUT WE ALSO NEED A 70 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,074 PLAN FOR ROLLING OUT A POTENTIAL VACCINE. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE 71 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,577 MIDDLE OF A PRESIDENTIAL TRANSITION RIGHT NOW, WHICH MEANS WE NEED THE INCOMING AND 72 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,912 OUTGOING ADMINISTRATIONS TO COOPERATE ON DEVELOPING A PLAN TO DISTRIBUTE THE VACCINE, WHICH 73 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,682 TO DISTRIBUTE THE VACCINE, WHICH BIDEN HAS CALLED FOR 74 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,854 GETTING THE VACCINE AND A 75 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:24,157 VACCINATION, THOUGH, ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS EVERYONE ON OUR CALL TODAY IN 76 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,160 OUR ZOOM TODAY AGREED THAT THE SOONER WE HAVE ACCESS TO THE ADMINISTRATION'S DISTRIBUTION 77 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:36,503 PLAN, THE SOONER THIS TRANSITION WOULD BE SMOOTHLY MOVE FORWARD AH, JOE BIDEN 78 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:42,942 IT'S LIKE THE HUMAN SOUNDS OF THE RAINFOREST C.D JUST HEARING A PRESIDENT-ELECT 79 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:45,745 SPEAK IN DIRECT, COHERENT TERMS ABOUT HIS PLANS FOR YOU KNOW -- SOLVING THINGS, IS REASSURING. 80 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:47,647 ALTHOUGH JOE BIDEN COULD THINK VACCINE IS THE NAME OF THAT LADY FROM THE HALLMARK CARDS AND I'D 81 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,115 STILL JUST BE GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO PRESIDENT TRUMP EVER AGAIN 82 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:56,189 HUH. THIS IS A FUNNY ONE. HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF A SHOT IN 83 00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:01,428 THE ARM, I GAVE YOU A SHOT IN THE ASS. MAXINE 84 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:08,535 MAX, WHEN WILL IT STOP, MAXINE AND YET DONALD TRUMP IS STILL MOPING AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE 85 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,471 PRETENDING HE HAS A PATH TO VICTORY BY, FOR EXAMPLE, OVERTURNING THE RESULTS IN 86 00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:16,509 MICHIGAN TRUMP TRIED TO STEAL MICHIGAN IN PART BY UNDERMINING THE ROUTINE 87 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,244 PROCESS OF CERTIFYING ELECTION RESULTS IN WAYNE COUNTY, MICHIGAN, WHICH HE LOST AND NOT 88 00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:22,082 COINCIDENTALLY INCLUDES DETROIT. IN FACT, WE LEARNED TODAY HE EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO 89 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,050 PERSONALLY CALL TWO LOCAL REPUBLICAN CANVASSERS IN WAYNE COUNTY, WHO THEN TRIED TO 90 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,318 RESCIND THEIR VOTES TO CERTIFY THE RESULTS. 91 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:36,329 COUNTY BOARD OF CANVASSERS SUDDENLY CHANGED COURSE. YES, A PAIR OF REPUBLICANS 92 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,666 TRYING TO REVERSE COURSE AFTER CERTIFYING THE RESULTS FROM THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. 93 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:45,271 THE VERY LATEST IS THAT THE TWO REPUBLICAN MEMBERS OF THE BOARD OF CANVASSERS THERE NOW 94 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:51,911 ASKING FOR THEIR VOTES TO BE RESCINDED FROM EARLIER IN THE WEEK, AND WE ARE NOW LEARNING 95 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:57,817 THAT PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP ACTUALLY CALLED BOTH OF THEM FOLLOWING THAT CONTROVERSIAL 96 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:02,188 MEETING. Seth: SO NOW TRUMP IS TRYING TO INTERFERE WITH LOCAL COUNTY 97 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,157 ELECTION BOARDS. WHAT'S NEXT? IS HE GOING TO START 98 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,693 INDIVIDUALLY TRACKING DOWN THE OLD LADIES AT THE POLLING STATIONS WHO GIVE YOU THE "I 99 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:11,097 VOTED" STICKER "I NEVER GOT A STICKER, THAT'S FRAUD. 100 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:16,202 I WIN. NOW GIMME THAT QUILT YOU OLD BAG! 101 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,706 ALSO, THIS MEANS SOMEONE AT THE WHITE HOUSE ACTUALLY HAD TO SIFT THROUGH GOOGLE OR SHUFFLE 102 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,876 THROUGH AN OLD ROLODEX TO FIND THE PHONE NUMBERS OF TWO LOCAL ELECTION CANVASSERS IN WAYNE 103 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,912 COUNTY, MICHIGAN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THAT PROBABLY TOOK JUST TO FIND THIS 104 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:30,050 STORY ABOUT TRUMP CALLING THE CANVASSERS I HAD TO GOOGLE "TRUMP WAYNE," 105 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,787 WHICH GAVE ME A BUNCH OF ARTICLES ABOUT LIL WAYNE SUPPORTING TRUMP SO. 106 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:38,591 THEN I TYPED "WAYNE TRUMP" INTO GOOGLE AGAIN AND ONE OF THE SUGGESTED SEARCHES WAS "WAYNE 107 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:41,561 TRUMPET" SO I CLICKED ON THAT. AND FOUND A WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT A JAZZ MUSICIAN NAMED 108 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:46,466 WAYNE BERGERON WHO PLAYS THE TRUMPET SO I STARTED READING IT BECAUSE I PERSONALLY ALWAYS 109 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,302 THOUGHT IF I HADN'T GONE INTO COMEDY, I COULD HAVE BECOME A JAZZ MUSICIAN. 110 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,838 AND THEN I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS "SUPPOSED TO BE DOING AND GOOGLED TRUMP CALLS WAYNE COUNTY 111 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:56,309 BOARD OF CANVASSERS. THE POINT IS, THIS STUPID COUP IS TAKING A LONG [ BLEEP ] TIME. 112 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,079 AND THEN THERE'S THE FACT THAT TRUMP IS ATTEMPTING TO OVERTURN TENS OF THOUSANDS OF BALLOTS IN 113 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:03,750 GEORGIA AND ARIZONA AND SENDING RUDY GIULIANI TO PENNSYLVANIA TO EMBARRASS HIMSELF IN FEDERAL 114 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:08,355 COURT. IT'S FUNNY, BUT WHEN RUDY SHOWS UP IN COURT EVEN VIA CONFERENCE 115 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:11,925 CALL, EVERYONE MUST IMMEDIATELY THINK IT'S A HIDDEN CAMERA PRANK. 116 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:18,164 WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IN EVERY CASE BUT ONE THIS YEAR, RUDY WAS THE BORAT 117 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,034 RUDY AND THE TRUMP TEAM MADE A SERIES OF COURT FILINGS YESTERDAY IN WHICH THEY ASKED, 118 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:25,605 AND THIS IS REAL, TO DISENFRANCHISE UP TO 1.5 MILLION VOTERS 119 00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:29,442 THEY TOLD THE COURT THAT ULTIMATELY PLAINTIFFS WILL SEEK THE REMEDY OF TRUMP BEING 120 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:35,782 DECLARED THE WINNER OF THE LEGAL VOTES CAST IN THE PENNSYLVANIA 2020 GENERAL ELECTION AND THUS 121 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:39,486 THE RECIPIENT OF PENNSYLVANIA'S ELECTORS OKAY, SURE 122 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:43,423 THEN I'M FILING A MOTION IN COURT TO SEEK THE REMEDY THAT SETH MEYERS BE NAMED "PEOPLE 123 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:47,794 MAGAZINE'S SEXIEST MAN ALIVE." AND TO MY PUBLICIST, NO, I DON'T THINK SMUG WEEKLY'S MUG OF THE 124 00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:54,901 MONTH IS JUST AS GOOD. ANYWAY, RUDY AND HIS LEGAL TEAM, WHICH INCLUDES A RADIO SHOW HOST 125 00:08:54,901 --> 00:09:01,641 ARE NOT JUST ASKING FOR MILLIONS OF VOTERS TO BE DISENFRANCHISED, THEY'RE ALSO ASKING, AND AGAIN, 126 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,443 THIS IS REAL, TO BE ALLOWED TO COUNT THE BALLOTS THEMSELVES BY THE WAY, I'M USING LEGAL TEAM 127 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:08,248 SO LOOSELY HERE. ANYWAY RUDY'S PSYCHO PLAN AS FAR AS I CAN TELL IS TO COUNT A 128 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:15,121 SAMPLE OF THE BALLOTS AND THEN IF THEY CAN FIND ENOUGH SUPPOSED FRAUD, WHICH DOESN'T EXIST, THEY 129 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:19,192 WILL THEN EXTRAPOLATE THAT TO ALL OF THE BALLOTS AND DECLARE TRUMP THE WINNER 130 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:22,762 ACCORDING TO THE VERY REAL AND INSANE COURT FILING, PLAINTIFFS WILL EXAMINE THESE ENVELOPES TO 131 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:27,701 DETERMINE THE PERCENTAGE OF MAIL BALLOTS WHICH WERE ILLEGALLY COUNTED. 132 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,203 PLAINTIFFS THROUGH STATISTICAL EXPERT ANALYSIS WILL THEN EXTRAPOLATE THIS PERCENT TO THE 133 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:35,675 1.5 MILLION MAIL BALLOTS THIS SIMPLE EXERCISE WILL DETERMINE WHETHER PLAINTIFFS CAN 134 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,345 PROVE THEIR CASE THAT SUFFICIENT ILLEGAL BALLOTS WERE COUNTED THAT CHANGED THE RESULT OF THE 135 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:43,550 ELECTION IF SO, THE COURT SHOULD SET ASIDE THE VOTES AND DECLARE 136 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:48,588 TRUMP THE WINNER I LOVE THE PART WHERE THEY SAY THEY'LL EXTRAPOLATE THROUGH 137 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,392 STATISTICAL EXPERT ANALYSIS. I'M GUESSING WHAT THEY MEAN IS RUDY IS GOING TO BE SITTING IN A 138 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,862 ROOM WITH AN 80'S CASIO PRINTING CALCULATOR AND A STACK OF BALLOTS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW 139 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,399 TO DO HIGHER ORDER MATH. "WHAT? I DIDN'T KNOW SQUARE HAD ROOTS." 140 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:05,839 ALSO, I'M GLAD THEY TOOK TIME TO SAY THAT PART OF THEIR PETITION IS TO PROVE THE PLAINTIFF'S 141 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:10,777 CASE, WHICH WITHOUT EXCEPTION HAS BEEN THE GOAL OF THE PLAINTIFF IN EVERY SINGLE 142 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,279 LAWSUIT EVER, SINCE LIKE CAVEMAN COURT. YOU NEVER HEARD A LAWYER SAY, 143 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,016 "YOUR HONOR, WE'D LIKE TO PROVE THE CASE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, YOU DECIDE 144 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:19,953 WE HAVE NO SKIN IN THE GAME. EVEN TRUMP'S CLOSEST ALLIES LIKE HIS FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF 145 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:24,991 MICK MULVANEY HAD EXPRESSED CONCERN ABOUT RUDY'S EMBARRASSING PERFORMANCES IN 146 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:25,492 EMBARRASSING PERFORMANCES IN COURT. 147 00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,461 ABOUT THE USE OF RUDY GIULIANI 148 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:33,400 THEY'RE NOT USING THE MOST WELL-NOTED ELECTION LAWYERS. THERE ARE FOLKS WHO USE-- WHO DO 149 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:38,538 THIS ALL OF THE TIME Seth: YEAH, AND NONE OF THEM WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS 150 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,074 HAREBRAINED SCHEME YOU DON'T END UP WITH RUDY WHEN YOU HAVE OTHER OPTIONS 151 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:46,079 THE RAFT IN CASTAWAY WASN'T TOM HANKS' FIRST CHOICE OF BOAT. IT WAS HIS ONLY CHOICE 152 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,682 TRUMP CHOSE RUDY THE WAY YOU CHOOSE A DENTIST WHOSE IN YOUR INSURANCE PLAN'S NETWORK 153 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:52,852 "WELL, THIS GUY'S ONLY OPEN ON TUESDAY BUT THIS OTHER GUY WORKS OUT OF A BARGE ON THE EAST 154 00:10:52,852 --> 00:11:01,061 RIVER. I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN DENTAL INSURANCE FROM THE 155 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,864 GENERAL OF GENERAL!" ANYWAY, WHAT WE HERE AT "LATE NIGHT" HAVE BEEN CALLING THE 156 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:10,570 KOOKY CUCKOO COUP CREW IS WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME, THERE'S STILL, YOU KNOW, A RAGING 157 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:16,710 PANDEMIC GOING ON AND THE PEOPLE CALLING UP RANDOM ELECTION OFFICIALS IN WAYNE COUNTY TO 158 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,846 OVERTURN LEGITIMATE ELECTION RESULTS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING 159 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,715 AMERICANS FROM A DEADLY DISEASE. IT'S LIKE EVERY BUILDING IS ON FIRE AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT 160 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:26,286 WON'T PUT THE FIRES OUT BECAUSE THEY'RE IN COURT DEMANDING, 'A', THEY NEVER HAVE TO RETIRE AND, 161 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:35,895 'B', FROM NOW ON WE CALL THEM "DA PARTY BOYS." YESTERDAY THERE WERE OVER 1,900 162 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,597 DEATHS, THE DAY BEFORE THAT THERE WERE OVER 1,600 DEATHS JOE BIDEN WANTS TO COOPERATE 163 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,432 WITH THE TRUMP TASK FORCE TO WORK ON A PLAN TO CURB CASES, SAVE LIVES AND GET A VACCINE OUT 164 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,903 TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. INSTEAD THE PRESIDENT IS 165 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:51,111 REFUSING TO CONCEDE AND TRYING TO STAGE AN INCOMPETENT COUP AND HE'S BECOME A FULL 166 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,946 J.D. SALINGER-LEVEL RECLUSE, HIDING OUT IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND SKIPPING TASK FORCE MEETINGS 167 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,147 ON A DEADLY PLAGUE SPREADING RAPIDLY THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY 168 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:07,060 PRESIDENT ON THIS. WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM AT ALL. 169 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,695 HE HASN'T TAKEN OUR QUESTIONS IN OVER TWO WEEKS SO WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE PRESIDENT 170 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,230 SINCE ON FRIDAY. AND THE WHITE HOUSE INSISTS HE'S STILL WORKING, HE'S STILL 171 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,931 FOCUSED ON CORONAVIRUS, BUT ERIN, WE SHOULD NOTE THE PRESIDENT HASN'T ATTENDED A TASK 172 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:15,402 FORCE MEETING IN IVE MONTHS, EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE HAD ONE HELD JUST IN THE LAST WEEK. 173 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,872 SO IF THAT GIVES YOU ANY IDEA, WE'RE ACTUALLY TOLD BY SOURCES HE'S MUCH MORE CONSUMED BY THE 174 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,974 STATE OF THIS ELECTION AND CONTESTING THE RESULTS THAN HE IS WITH THE PANDEMIC SURGING 175 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:27,947 ACROSS THE COUNTRY Seth: OF COURSE HE'S MORE FOCUSED ON THE ELECTION HE LOST 176 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:32,152 THEN ON THE PANDEMIC I KNOW IT WAS HARD TO TELL FROM THE HUNDREDS OF PSYCHOTIC ALL 177 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,822 CAPS TWEETS, MOST OF THEM WITH WARNING LABELS ON THEM, WHICH IS INSANE 178 00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:38,458 AT THIS POINT WE HAVE TO PUT A DISCLAIMER ON THE PRESIDENT'S TWEETS, IT'S LIKE A PACK OF 179 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:45,131 CIGARETTES OR AN EPISODE OF "JACKASS." THINK ABOUT THAT, THE PANDEMIC 180 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,734 RAGING OUT OF CONTROL, THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS DYING A DAY AND THE PRESIDENT HASN'T EVEN BEEN TO A 181 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:50,470 MEETING IN FIVE MONTHS YOU REALIZE HOW LONG THAT IS FIVE MONTHS AGO I WAS TRAPPED IN 182 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:54,641 MY IN-LAW'S HOUSE TALKING TO A PAINTING OF A SEA CAPTAIN. EVEN THEN I APPARENTLY WAS DOING 183 00:12:54,641 --> 00:13:00,647 MORE WORK THAN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BECAUSE AT LEAST I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE 184 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,415 THEN TODAY AFTER A STRING OF EMBARRASSING COURT LOSSES AND BUMBLING PERFORMANCES IN FRONT 185 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:06,553 OF EXASPERATED JUDGES, RUDY GIULIANI, VOTED AMERICA'S WETTEST LAWYER FOR THREE YEARS 186 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:15,195 RUNNING, HELD A MARATHON PRESS CONFERENCE/PERFORMANCE ART PIECE THAT WAS HONESTLY AT TIMES SO 187 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,532 INCOMPREHENSIBLE I THOUGHT HAD TO PUT ON THE CLOSED CAPTIONING AND EVEN WHEN I DID, THE CLOSED 188 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:24,571 CAPTIONING SAID "YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE. IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE AND 189 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:28,608 HONESTLY POINTLESS TO WADE THROUGH ALL THE UNINTELLIGIBLE BULL [ BLEEP ] BECAUSE EVEN IF 190 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:33,747 YOU WERE SOMEHOW STEEPED IN THE FOX NEWS CINEMATIC UNIVERSE FOLLOWING ALL THE DETAILS OF A 191 00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:39,319 DERANGED CONSPIRACY THEORY LIKE THIS CAN BE EXHAUSTING IT'S LIKE KEEPING TRACK OF WHERE 192 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:45,558 EVERY CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE DURING EACH "AVENGERS" MOVIE. ALL I KNOW IS I'M PRETTY SURE 193 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,295 JOE BIDEN IS OLD CAPTAIN AMERICA. HERE'S A SAMPLING OF JUST HOW 194 00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:50,263 PSYCHOTIC THIS TELEVISED THERAPY SESSION WAS. 195 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,867 THE ONLY THING LEFT IS THE VOTE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MICKEY 196 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:58,805 MOUSE. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A DEAD PERSON 197 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,774 DID YOU ALL WATCH "MY COUSIN VINNY" YOU KNOW THE MOVIE 198 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,476 IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE LAW MOVIES BECAUSE HE COMES FROM BROOKLYN 199 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:11,584 AND THE NICE LADY WHO SAID SHE SAW AND THEN HE SAYS TO HER HOW MANY FINGERS DO I -- HOW MANY 200 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:16,056 FINGERS DO I GOT UP? A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE COMING OVER FROM CAMDEN TO VOTE. 201 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:20,093 THEY DO EVERY YEAR HAPPENS ALL THE TIME IN PHILLY IT'S ABOUT AS FREQUENT AS 202 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,596 GETTING BEATEN UP AS A PHILADELPHIA EAGLE BASKETBALL -- UH, FOOTBALL GAME. 203 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:31,471 I ASSUME IF SHE'S WORKING FOR THE -- I ASSUME IF SHE'S WORKING FOR THE CITY OF DETROIT THAT 204 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,873 SHE'S A DEMOCRAT WE HAVE WITNESSES WHO HAVE ACTUALLY REPORTED -- 205 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:38,912 WHERE ARE YOU, FBI? WE MORE THAN DOUBLE THE NUMBER OF VOTES NEEDED TO OVERTURN THE 206 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:43,950 ELECTION THERE'S NOBODY HERE THAT ENGAGES IN FANTASIES 207 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:49,289 Seth: "HOW COME NOBODY'S LOOKING AT MY PENCILS? I GOT ALL THE PENCILS. 208 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:58,465 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M SORRY, NOBODY HERE ENGAGES IN FANTASIES 209 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:06,439 YOU JUST DID A LENGTHY REENACTMENT OF "MY COUSIN VINNY" AND CALLED THE PHILADELPHIA 210 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,308 EAGLES A BASKETBALL TEAM ALSO, WHY IS RUDY ALWAYS WIPING HIS ENTIRE FACE LIKE HE JUST GOT 211 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:12,679 DONE DOING CROSSFIT WHILE EATING A MEATBALL SUB IT'S NOT GREAT WHEN THE LAWYER 212 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:18,151 LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO ADMIT TO THE CRIME "MY CLIENT IS INNOCENT, YOUR 213 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:23,056 HONOR, BECAUSE I'M THE KILLER AND I'D DO IT AGAIN! ALSO, HE ADMITTED THEY'RE TRYING 214 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:26,126 TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION HE ACTUALLY USED THOSE WORDS IT'S LIKE WALKING INTO A COSTUME 215 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,629 SHOP AND SAYING WHICH MASK IS BEST FOR ROBBING A BANK? AND, BY THE WAY, THAT'S EXACTLY 216 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,131 WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO DO. AND IT'S VERY REAL AND AS INCOMPETENT AS IT IS, 217 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,665 IT'S STILL AN ASSAULT ON CONSTITUTIONAL DEMOCRACY THE PRESIDENT JUST INVITED 218 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:38,171 MICHIGAN LAWMAKERS TO COME TO THE WHITE HOUSE TO PRESSURE THEM TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS IN THEIR 219 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:45,512 STATE. CAN WE JUST CALL THIS AN ATTEMPTED COUP NOW 220 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,447 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS. WE'RE ALL ARGUING OVER TERMINOLOGY LIKE WHETHER IT'S 221 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,718 CHAMPAGNE OR SPARKLING WINE BUT IT'S A COUP. EVEN IF IT DOESN'T SUCCEED 222 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,221 BECAUSE EVERYBODY INVOLVED IS A MORON, THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS HORRIFYING. 223 00:15:55,221 --> 00:16:00,593 EVEN IF THIS FAILS, HISTORIANS WILL SPEND YEARS STUDYING THIS ATTEMPTED COUP AND PSYCHIATRISTS 224 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,195 ATTEMPTED COUP AND PSYCHIATRISTS WILL SPEND YEARS STUDYING -- 225 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,030 THE USE OF RUDY GIULIANI. 226 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,567 Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER LOOK." * 227 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:11,671 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MICHAEL MOORE. * 228 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:11,705 MICHAEL MOORE. * 229 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,468 Seth: ALL THIS WEEK WE'VE HAD THE FANTASTIC DRUMMER FOR POP 230 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:47,140 ARTIST HAYLEY KIYOKO AND MILCK SITTING IN WITH THE 8G BAND. AND THIS IS JUST A WEIRD FUN 231 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:53,380 FACT THAT WE HAD KALEY CUOCO ON MONDAY AND I ALSO MENTIONED HAYLEY KIYOKO. 232 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,682 I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT'S FOR BUT THE WEEK'S ALMOST OVER AND I JUST WANTED TO GET IT OUT THERE. 233 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,152 HER NEW PODCAST "GAY CHURCH" IS OUT NOW. BE SURE TO FOLLOW HER ON YOUTUBE 234 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:06,493 AND INSTAGRAM @SEEVALDRUM. VALERIE FRANCO IS HERE THANK YOU FOR A GREAT WEEK, VAL. 235 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,864 OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS THE ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING FILMMAKER OF DOCUMENTARIES LIKE 236 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,365 "ROGER & ME," "BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE," AND "FAHRENHEIT 9/11." 237 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,870 HIS PODCAST "RUMBLE WITH MICHAEL MOORE" IS AVAILABLE WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS 238 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,638 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW MICHAEL MOORE. MICHAEL, HOW ARE YOU 239 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:22,342 GREAT, SETH THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON. Seth: I FEEL AS THOUGH OUR 240 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:28,448 APPEARANCES TOGETHER ON THIS SHOW HAVE BEEN CLOAKED IN SORT OF AN OPPRESSIVE PESSIMISM 241 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:33,820 ARE YOU FEELING A LITTLE BIT MORE OPTIMIST BASED ON WHERE WE'RE AT AS A NATION TODAY 242 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,456 YES AND WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT NOW? 243 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:41,594 [ LAUGHTER ] Seth: YOU KNOW THAT KEEPS COMING UP ON THIS SHOW 244 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,498 NO, THERE'S A LOT TO TALK ABOUT OBVIOUSLY. WHAT YOU JUST COVERED, WHAT'S 245 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,934 HAPPENING IN MICHIGAN, WHAT HAPPENED A COUPLE NIGHTS AGO WITH THE BOARD OF CANVASSERS, 246 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:55,141 ALL OF THESE YOU KNOW, WE'VE HAD THESE CRAZY REPUBLICANS IN MICHIGAN LONG 247 00:17:55,141 --> 00:18:05,085 BEFORE TRUMP SO THIS ISN'T -- IT ISN'T THAT THEY JOINED TRUMP'S PARTY. 248 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:08,355 TRUMP JOINED THEIR PARTY REMEMBER, IT WAS THE REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR OF MICHIGAN THAT TOOK 249 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,323 THE PEOPLE OF FLINT OFF THE CLEAN WATER FROM LAKE HURON AND MADE THEM DRINK FROM THE FLINT 250 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:14,694 RIVER AND POISONED THE ENTIRE TOWN SO, THAT'S THE REPUBLICANS, 251 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,763 THAT'S THE WAY THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN IN MICHIGAN AND THIS IS NO DIFFERENT, THIS CRAZY THING THAT 252 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,565 HAPPENED THERE WHERE THEY WERE GOING TO TRY TO DENY THE PEOPLE OF DETROIT THE RIGHT TO HAVE 253 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:25,105 THEIR VOTE COUNTED Seth: WE'VE OBVIOUSLY TALKED ABOUT JOE BIDEN AND THE FACT 254 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,474 THAT YOU LIKED HIM YOU MET HIM AT A DNC WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST INTERACTION 255 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:36,449 WITH HIM LIKE? YEAH, I MET HIM AT THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION IN BOSTON 256 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:41,588 IN 2004 AND I WAS IN THE PRESIDENTIAL BOX, WHICH IS NOT WHERE I'M USUALLY FOUND. 257 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:51,197 BUT PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER HAD INVITED ME TO SIT WITH HIM AT THE CONVENTION 258 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:58,204 AND OF COURSE THIS DROVE FOX NEWS AND THE RIGHT WING CRAZY. 259 00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:01,808 BUT IN ONE OF THOSE -- YOU KNOW WHERE THEY HAVE THOSE LUXURY BOXES AT THE BASKETBALL OR THE 260 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:05,779 FOOTBALL GAME OR WHATEVER, I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS BUT YOU ACTUALLY - 261 00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:12,018 THERE'S A WHOLE AREA BEHIND THE BOX THAT'S FULL OF CATERED FOOD. SO NATURALLY I LEFT MY SEAT AND 262 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:15,255 WENT BACK TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT AND IN THROUGH THE DOOR COMES JOE BIDEN. 263 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:20,293 I'D NEVER MET HIM BEFORE AND HE SEES ME AND HE JUST GOES LIKE, "HOLY -- 264 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,596 [ LAUGHTER ] EXPLETIVE. AND HE COMES AT ME, HE'S ALL 265 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:28,168 SMILES AND HE'S SHAKIN' MY -- GRABBIN' MY HAND "OH, GOD, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO 266 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:34,274 MEET YOU WOW, MOTHER [ BLEEP ], THIS IS SOMETHING. 267 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:39,946 WOW! AND HE'S JUST DROPPING F-BOMBS AND I'M LIKE, "WHOA. 268 00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:44,217 AND THEN WE START TALKING AND HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT MY DAD WORKING IN THE FACTORY AND MY 269 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:47,954 MOM WAS A CLERK AND THIS AND THAT AND, YOU KNOW, I KNEW HE ALWAYS 270 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:52,759 SAID HE WAS FROM THE WORKING CLASS BUT I NEVER SAW IT BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAD THOSE NICELY 271 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:56,563 TAILORED SUITS, PERFECT TEETH. AND WITHIN TEN OR 15 MINUTES, I REALIZED, "WOW, HE IS ONE OF US. 272 00:19:56,563 --> 00:20:03,470 HE DID COME FROM WHERE I CAME FROM." THERE'S NO CAMERAS AROUND, IT'S 273 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:08,208 NOT A SHOW OR ANYTHING HE'S JUST BEING HIMSELF. AND I THINK WHAT BERNIE HAD SAID 274 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:13,646 ABOUT HIM, THAT HE WAS A GOOD AND DECENT PERSON. AND I GUESS IN THOSE MINUTES 275 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,216 THERE WITH HIM, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, 15 MINUTES, CAN YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT SOMEBODY 276 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:25,091 IN 15 MINUTES? I GUESS I DECIDED THAT HE WAS THAT PERSON. 277 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:28,395 AND I HAVE FELT THROUGH THE CAMPAIGN, EVEN THOUGH I WAS HELPING BERNIE, I THINK THAT I 278 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:35,502 FELT THAT IF HE BECAME PRESIDENT, WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A CHANCE 279 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:38,004 AND EVEN THOUGH MAYBE OUR POLITICS DIDN'T LINE UP ENTIRELY, WE WERE GOING TO HAVE 280 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:42,942 A BETTER CHANCE GETTING OUR THING THROUGH. LIKE -- LIKE - 281 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,378 Seth: THERE'S REALLY A LOT OF PARALLELS TO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TO WHAT BERNIE HAS SAID ABOUT 282 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:52,018 JOE OVER THE YEARS WHICH IS ONE, HE ALWAYS MAKES CLEAR WE'RE DIFFERENT ON A LOT 283 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,155 OF THINGS POLITICALLY. TWO, THOUGH, HE ALWAYS MAKES CLEAR THAT HE REALLY LIKES 284 00:20:55,155 --> 00:21:00,960 JOE BIDEN. AND HE THINKS THAT HE CAN GET ON THE PHONE WITH HIM IF NEED BE. 285 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:05,065 OBVIOUSLY ONE OF THE THINGS PROGRESSIVES ARE UP AGAINST NOW IS THE FACT THAT THE 286 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:10,470 PRESIDENT-ELECT IS A BIT MORE MODERATE ARE YOU -- HOW DO YOU FEEL LIKE 287 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:16,276 PROGRESSIVES HAVE TO TRY TO INFLUENCE POLICY MOVING FORWARD? WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE OUR 288 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,111 VOICES ARE HEARD AND WE HAVE TO BE HEARD RIGHT NOW WHILE HE'S PICKING THE CABINET, WHILE 289 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:25,785 THEY'RE DECIDING POLICY. THIS IS A VERY CRITICAL PHASE. AND SO -- BUT I BELIEVE THAT 290 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:31,691 JOE BIDEN WILL LISTEN. WE MAY NOT ALWAYS GET OUR WAY, WE MAY NOT GET HIM TO AGREE WITH 291 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:37,597 US ON EVERYTHING, BUT I THINK THAT IT'S KIND OF LIKE WHEN HE SAYS HE'S AGAINST MEDICARE FOR 292 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,599 ALL. BUT IF WHEN WE GET THE SENATE AND WE PASS A MEDICARE FOR ALL 293 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,534 BILL AND IT GOES TO HIS DESK, HE'S NOT GOING TO VETO IT. HE'S NOT GOING TO SAY, "NO, 294 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:47,774 I'M -- WHAT, WHAT? EVERYBODY GETS HEALTH CARE NO WAY!" 295 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:51,344 HE'S NOT GOING TO DO THAT. IF HE'S FOR $12 AN HOUR MINIMUM WAGE AND THE BILL SAYS 15 296 00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:55,982 BECAUSE WE -- THE PROGRESSIVE PART OF THIS, WHICH IS REALLY THE MAJORITY BECAUSE THE 297 00:21:55,982 --> 00:22:00,854 MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WANT A $15 AN HOUR MINIMUM WAGE THEY WANT WOMEN PAID THE SAME AS 298 00:22:00,854 --> 00:22:04,457 MEN. THEY BELIEVE THAT CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL. 299 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:07,627 THIS IS A PROGRESSIVE COUNTRY. I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES. AND IF THE PROGRESSIVE 300 00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:15,301 LEGISLATION COMES ON HIS DESK, I GOT TO BELIEVE HE'S GOING TO SIGN THIS. 301 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:17,604 HE'S NOT GOING TO -- HE NOT GOING TO SEND IT BACK. WE HAVE A BETTER CHANCE WITH 302 00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:21,541 HIM. OBVIOUSLY BETTER THAN IF TRUMP HAD WON ANOTHER TERM 303 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:26,646 AND I'M ACTUALLY -- I'M SURPRISED FRANKLY, I HAVE TO SAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL 304 00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:29,516 ABOUT THIS IF COVID HADN'T COME ALONG, WOULD TRUMP HAVE WON 305 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:37,157 WOULD HE HAVE GOT THAT SECOND TERM BECAUSE HERE'S THE THING 306 00:22:37,157 --> 00:22:39,993 I WONDERED ABOUT THIS FOR MONTHS YOU KNOW, AN AUTHORITARIAN, 307 00:22:39,993 --> 00:22:41,828 TOTALITARIAN LEADER WOULD RELISH TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO TELL THE PEOPLE, "YOU WILL WEAR A 308 00:22:41,828 --> 00:22:55,208 MASK, YOU WILL STAY INDOORS. YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT AN AUTHORITARIAN WANTS TO DO. 309 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:59,779 THEY WANT TO GIVE ORDERS AND ALSO WANTS TO BE SEEN AS THE HERO 310 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:04,818 TAKE THE REINS OF THIS VIRUS, KILL THE VIRUS, SUCCEED. NOT TRUMP. 311 00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:08,088 NO, THE OPPOSITE HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING HE JUST IGNORES IT OR TRIES TO 312 00:23:08,088 --> 00:23:09,422 PRETEND IT WILL GO AWAY BY EASTER AND NOW WE HAVE A QUARTER 313 00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:20,233 MILLION DEAD SETH, A QUARTER MILLION DEAD IS THE SAME EXACT NUMBER OF PEOPLE 314 00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:22,736 AS IF -- IF YOU WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING AND YOU LOOK AT YOUR PHONE AND IT SAYS "BREAKING 315 00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:32,579 NEWS, RICHMOND, VIRGINIA HAS BEEN ANNIHILATED EVERYONE IS DEAD." 316 00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,481 THAT WOULD BE SUCH -- WHAT WOULD THAT DO TO OUR COLLECTIVE HEADS? AND YET HERE WE ARE TONIGHT AT A 317 00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:42,622 QUARTER MILLION DEAD AND WE'RE NOT ACTING LIKE RICHMOND, VIRGINIA HAS JUST BEEN 318 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:46,559 ANNIHILATED. WE'RE NOT ACTING LIKE THERE ARE NOW -- THERE'S NOW A 9/11 EVERY 319 00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:55,969 TWO -- EVERY TWO OR THREE DAYS NOW. WE'RE -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS 320 00:23:55,969 --> 00:24:00,440 BUT WE NEED BIDEN AND HIS TEAM TO TAKE THESE REINS, TO GET THIS COUNTRY, AS FAUCI SAID THIS 321 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:08,448 WEEK, WE NEED A NATIONAL MANDATE OF HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS VIRUS, NOT A STATE BY STATE BY STATE. 322 00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,050 Seth: I WANT TO GET BACK AND TALK ABOUT THAT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 323 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:34,607 FROM MICHAEL MOORE * Seth: WELCOME BACK TO "LATE 324 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,476 NIGHT. WE'RE HERE WITH MICHAEL MOORE. 2019 YOU WERE HERE 325 00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:41,614 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT WHO SHOULD THE NOMINEE BE YOU WERE MAKING THE ARGUMENT 326 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:43,783 THAT THE NOMINEE SHOULD BE SOMEBODY WHO WOULD EXCITE THE BASE 327 00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:47,721 I GOT THE SENSE, I THINK WE BOTH AGREE THAT MAYBE THAT WASN'T JOE BIDEN. 328 00:24:47,721 --> 00:24:51,558 RIGHT Seth: DO YOU THINK, LOOKING BACK, YOU UNDERESTIMATED HOW HE 329 00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:57,997 WOULD PERFORM AS A CANDIDATE I KNOW -- MEA CULPA ON MY OWN PART, I THINK I UNDERESTIMATED 330 00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:02,702 HIM CERTAINLY AND SO FAR AS THE KIND OF CAMPAIGN HE RAN. RIGHT, EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, THE 331 00:25:02,702 --> 00:25:06,206 FIRST THREE PRIMARIES AND CAUCASUS BERNIE WON THE POPULAR VOTE IN ALL THREE. 332 00:25:06,206 --> 00:25:10,143 BIDEN WAS, YOU KNOW, FOURTH, FIFTH, SIXTH SO IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE IT WAS 333 00:25:10,143 --> 00:25:14,781 GOING TO HAPPEN. AND EVEN THE PARTY -- WHAT DO YOU CALL THE PARTY HACKS THAT 334 00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:21,388 RUN THE PARTY? THEY PANICKED AND CHANGED THE RULES TO GET BLOOMBERG ON THAT 335 00:25:21,388 --> 00:25:28,294 STAGE AND IN THE CAMPAIGN. REMEMBER THAT? THEY HAD COLLECTIVELY DECIDED, 336 00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:30,797 "OH, SHOOT, BIDEN'S NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. WE GOT TO GET BLOOMBERG IN HERE 337 00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:33,933 AND WE GOT TO CHANGE THE RULES SO HE CAN DEBATE." SO I THINK THAT, YES -- 338 00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:40,740 HONESTLY, I THINK NOW, LOOKING BACK, I THINK BIDEN DID THE RIGHT THING. 339 00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:42,609 YOU KNOW, HE WAS CRITICIZED CONSTANTLY BY TRUMP FOR BEING IN THE BASEMENT BUT THAT'S EXACTLY 340 00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:46,880 WHERE I THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN WITH "SPORTSCENTER" ON BECAUSE TRUMP WAS DEFEATING 341 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:52,118 HIMSELF. THE MORE BIDEN JUST LET TRUMP TALK, THE MORE THAT BIDEN 342 00:25:52,118 --> 00:25:53,520 JUST - THE MORE THAT TRUMP JUST KEPT DOING ONE WHACKADOODLE THING 343 00:25:53,520 --> 00:26:05,031 AFTER ANOTHER, THAT -- THAT WAS GOING TO GUARANTEE HIS DEFEAT. AND, YOU KNOW, THEY ASKED 344 00:26:05,031 --> 00:26:07,100 PEOPLE, NOW IN THESE LAST COUPLE WEEKS THAT VOTED FOR BIDEN, WHAT'S THE NUMBER ONE REASON YOU 345 00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:13,873 VOTED FOR BIDEN. 58 PERCENT SAID, "BECAUSE I WANTED TO DEFEAT TRUMP 346 00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:21,614 I WANTED TO REMOVE TRUMP." SO THAT'S STILL THE NUMBER ONE REASON THAT THEY WANTED. 347 00:26:21,614 --> 00:26:23,516 BUT I HONESTLY BELIEVE -- MAYBE I'M WRONG BUT I'VE -- I WANT TO HANG ON TO SOME BELIEF THAT -- 348 00:26:23,516 --> 00:26:26,720 THAT BIDEN IS GOING SEIZE THIS MOMENT YOU KNOW, HE'S -- HAPPY 349 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,924 BIRTHDAY, BY THE WAY 78 YEARS OLD AND, HE KNOWS THAT HE'S IN THAT 350 00:26:30,924 --> 00:26:34,627 FINAL QUARTER OF HIS LIFE. AND SO I THINK WHEN PEOPLE GET TO THAT AGE, THEY WANT TO GO OUT 351 00:26:34,627 --> 00:26:36,262 BELIEVING THEY'VE DONE SOMETHING PROFOUND THAT THEY'VE REALLY MADE A 352 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:50,076 DIFFERENCE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT BECAUSE YOU PASSED A GOOD TAX BILL OR 353 00:26:50,076 --> 00:26:53,680 TRADE BILL OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO GO OUT BECAUSE YOU SAVED THE PEOPLE OF THE 354 00:26:53,680 --> 00:27:01,021 UNITED STATES, BECAUSE WOMEN FINALLY WERE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW. 355 00:27:01,021 --> 00:27:04,157 THAT THE RACISM AND THE VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE WAS GOING TO SOMEHOW COME TO AN END. 356 00:27:04,157 --> 00:27:11,364 THAT WE WERE GOING TO STOP THIS MASS INCARCERATION AND ALL THESE THINGS THAT HE HAS A CHANCE TO 357 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:14,100 BE REMEMBERED IN THE WAY WE REMEMBER SAY, YOU KNOW, JOHN F. KENNEDY, WHO WAS 358 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:20,674 PRESIDENT FOR TWO AND A HALF - TWO AND THREE-QUARTERS YEARS THAT'S IT. 359 00:27:20,674 --> 00:27:22,142 AND YET, LOOK HOW HE'S REMEMBERED SO BIDEN HAS THAT -- BIDEN HAS 360 00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:25,578 THAT CHANCE. AND THE PEOPLE WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. 361 00:27:25,578 --> 00:27:30,917 I REALLY BELIEVE THAT. AND I DO AND THERE'S SO MUCH TO GET DONE. 362 00:27:30,917 --> 00:27:39,559 ALL OF US HAVE TO BE ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN THIS WE HAVE TO GET THE SENATE. 363 00:27:39,559 --> 00:27:41,661 WE ALL HAVE TO DO WHATEVER WE CAN TO HELP OUT IN GEORGIA BETWEEN NOW AND JANUARY 5th. 364 00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:46,900 EVERYBODY IN GEORGIA, YOU'VE GOT TO GET REGISTERED TO VOTE BY DECEMBER 7th 365 00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:49,736 IF YOU'RE 17 AND YOU'RE UP WATCHING SETH RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THERE'S NO SCHOOL 366 00:27:49,736 --> 00:27:55,975 TO GO TO TOMORROW, YOU CAN VOTE IN THIS IF YOU TURN 18 BY JANUARY 5th. 367 00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:59,746 YOU COULD REGISTER RIGHT NOW AT 17 YEARS OLD SO THESE ARE THINGS WE NEED TO 368 00:27:59,746 --> 00:28:04,284 BE ACTIVE AND INVOLVED IN. AND WE'VE GOT MORE WORK TO DO BUT WE GET TO PLAY OFFENSE 369 00:28:04,284 --> 00:28:14,661 WE GET TO -- THE QUARTERBACK IS, YOU KNOW, IN HEART IS WITH US. AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING 370 00:28:14,661 --> 00:28:19,699 NOT A BAD THING AT ALL Seth: I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE WITHOUT YOU HAVING A CHANCE TO 371 00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:23,036 BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT SOMETHING I DO -- I HAVE HEARD YOU'RE A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THE TURKEY 372 00:28:23,036 --> 00:28:29,743 PARDON OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. OH, THAT'S COMING UP ON TUESDAY, 373 00:28:29,743 --> 00:28:33,680 THE PARDON EVERY YEAR. YOU KNOW THE PRESIDENT PARDONS THE TURKEY 374 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:40,253 I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT -- FIRST OF ALL, DON'T LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCH THIS BECAUSE THINGS ARE SO 375 00:28:40,253 --> 00:28:43,089 CRAZY WITH TRUMP RIGHT NOW THIS IS GOING TO BE THE ONE YEAR WHERE THE PRESIDENT DOESN'T 376 00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:45,058 PARDON THE TURKEY. THE PRESIDENT IS GOING TO FREAKIN' KILL THE TURKEY 377 00:28:45,058 --> 00:28:50,897 [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S GOING TO WRAP HIS HANDS AROUND THAT TURKEY'S NECK OR 378 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:56,102 HE'S GOING TO CALL ERIC IN WITH ONE OF HIS SAFARI HUNTING GUNS OR - 379 00:28:56,102 --> 00:28:58,371 SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH TOMMY TURKEY. AND I -- THIS IS -- YOU KNOW, 380 00:28:58,371 --> 00:29:02,742 ALL I WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT THANKSGIVING IS THAT THE MEYERS FAMILY -- 381 00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:08,114 IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR Seth: WE'RE BEING HOPEFUL 382 00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:11,484 WE'RE TRYING TO QUARANTINE SO THAT WE CAN DO IT SAFELY NEXT WEEK 383 00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:15,422 OKAY, I UNDERSTAND WHY BECAUSE PEOPLE WATCHING THIS NEED TO NOT HAVE, UNLESS THEIR 384 00:29:15,422 --> 00:29:18,925 IN THE SAME FAMILY IN THE SAME HOUSE, I THINK WE'VE GOT TO FORGO THIS 385 00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:25,932 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT ALWAYS BRINGS A LITTLE CHEER TO YOUR FANS OUT HERE 386 00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:27,567 Seth: WE'RE GOING TO DO WHAT WE CAN YOU'LL SEE THEM NO MATTER WHAT 387 00:29:27,567 --> 00:29:31,604 WHETHER THEY'RE HERE IN PERSON OR VIA ZOOM, THEY'LL BE HERE THANK YOU SO MUCH -- 388 00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:33,340 WAIT, THEY WILL BE THERE AND TOMMY TURKEY, PLEASE, SOMEBODY PROTECT THAT BIRD. 389 00:29:33,340 --> 00:29:35,775 PLEASE [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING. 390 00:29:35,775 --> 00:29:38,945 Seth: THANK YOU, MICHAEL. "RUMBLE WITH MICHAEL MOORE" IS AVAILABLE WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR 391 00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:40,246 PODCASTS WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH OUR FRIEND RICH EISEN. 392 00:29:40,246 --> 00:30:07,507 * Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY NOMINATED SPORTSCASTER. 393 00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:13,213 HE HOSTS "THE RICH EISEN SHOW," WHICH AIRS WEEKDAYS FROM NOON TO 3:00 P.M. ON PEACOCK 394 00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:17,584 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, OUR FRIEND, RICH EISEN HOW ARE YOU, RICH? 395 00:30:17,584 --> 00:30:19,986 HEY, BROTHER. HOW ARE YOU? Seth: I'M DOING WELL. 396 00:30:19,986 --> 00:30:23,390 I HAVE SUCH AN INCREASED APPRECIATION FOR WHAT YOU DO EVERY DAY, BROADCASTING A 397 00:30:23,390 --> 00:30:28,862 THREE-HOUR SHOW WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE I'M NOW OF COURSE COMING INTO, I 398 00:30:28,862 --> 00:30:30,330 THINK ABOUT MONTH SEVEN OF NO AUDIENCE I REALLY DO -- I'M AMAZED YOU 399 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:37,037 CAN DO IT EVERY DAY. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, I JUST LAUGH AT MY OWN STUFF, NORMALLY. 400 00:30:37,037 --> 00:30:42,609 SO, THAT'S THE WAY I GET THROUGH THE SHOWS. I DO HAVE A COUPLE OF MY 401 00:30:42,609 --> 00:30:47,180 COLLEAGUES HERE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE TO LAUGH AT MY STUFF. UM, SO THAT'S HOW I GET THROUGH 402 00:30:47,180 --> 00:30:51,251 THREE HOURS EVERY DAY. PRETTY MUCH. Seth: WELL, IT'S IMPRESSIVE 403 00:30:51,251 --> 00:30:53,019 THAT YOU DO. ANOTHER THING THAT'S IMPRESSIVE, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE, 404 00:30:53,019 --> 00:31:00,160 YOUR CHARITY EVENT "RUN RICH RUN. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW, YOU 405 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,195 RUN A 40-YARD DASH, WHICH IS SOMETHING THEY DO IN THE DRAFT COMBINE. 406 00:31:02,195 --> 00:31:06,066 YES Seth: YOU DO IT BOTH AT YOUR AGE AND IN A FULL SUIT 407 00:31:06,066 --> 00:31:09,969 YES, YES. Seth: AND DRESS SHOES, RIGHT? I DO -- WELL, I HAVE 408 00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:13,873 GRADUATED FROM THE DRESS SHOES TO MAKE SURE I DON'T ACTUALLY BREAK OR TEAR ANYTHING 409 00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:18,578 Seth: THANK YOU YEAH, BUT I HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT ON YOUR SHOW BEFORE, AND IT 410 00:31:18,578 --> 00:31:21,247 IS NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART BECAUSE IT RAISES MONEY NOW, THE RUN, FOR ST. JUDE'S CHILDREN'S 411 00:31:21,247 --> 00:31:29,422 RESEARCH HOSPITAL. WE RAISED OVER A MILLION BUCKS THIS YEAR. 412 00:31:29,422 --> 00:31:33,660 DOUBLE THE MONEY THAT WE HAD RAISED THE FOUR PREVIOUS YEARS IN JUST ONE YEAR ALONE 413 00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:37,097 YOU KNOW, THE TIMING WAS PERFECT. IT WAS ABOUT THREE WEEKS LATER 414 00:31:37,097 --> 00:31:40,700 WHEN THE PANDEMIC REALLY STARTED TO HIT SO WE GOT IT IN THERE, WE SNUCK 415 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:45,472 IT IN RIGHT AT THE WIRE. AS YOU CAN SEE WE'VE INCORPORATED IT AS THE LOGO OF 416 00:31:45,472 --> 00:31:49,876 THE SHOW Seth: IT'S A FANTASTIC LOGO THERE WERE SOME REALLY NICE 417 00:31:49,876 --> 00:31:53,446 MEMES ON ELECTION NIGHT, PARTICULARLY WITH WHEN NEVADA WAS BEING A LITTLE SLOW, 418 00:31:53,446 --> 00:31:59,352 SOMEBODY PUT THIS UP "IF NEVADA WAS A 40-YARD DASH. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH SOMETHING 419 00:31:59,352 --> 00:32:06,259 LIKE THAT, RICH? I MEAN, IT IS FOR CHARITY, BUT THIS IS A BURN 420 00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:09,095 IT IS A CHARITY IT IS A GOOD THING MY KIDS DIGGED IT. 421 00:32:09,095 --> 00:32:10,964 MY KIDS LOVED IT THEY SAW THAT. IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS TOO 422 00:32:10,964 --> 00:32:13,800 WHEN YOU'RE JUST SCROLLING THROUGH, YOU'RE DOOMSCROLLING THROUGH YOUR TWITTER FEED AS WE 423 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:19,072 ALL KNOW A LOT OF US ARE DOING THESE DAYS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL OF THOSE 424 00:32:19,072 --> 00:32:24,711 MEMES ABOUT HOW SLOW NEVADA'S COUNTING, AND SUDDENLY IT GETS PERSONAL, COMES OUT OF NOWHERE, 425 00:32:24,711 --> 00:32:29,082 BLINDSIDES YOU IN A WAY. BUT EVEN I GOT A CHUCKLE OUT OF THAT ONE 426 00:32:29,082 --> 00:32:30,750 Seth: YEAH, AND EVEN NEVADA, LIKE YOU, EVENTUALLY GOT TO THE FINISH LINE. 427 00:32:30,750 --> 00:32:34,688 SO - WELL, YOU KNOW, I HAVE FILED ABOUT 15 FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS TO 428 00:32:34,688 --> 00:32:39,359 TRY AND DISCOUNT MY TIME TO TRY AND GET IT A LITTLE BIT FASTER 429 00:32:39,359 --> 00:32:42,762 HASN'T WORKED SO FAR, HASN'T WORKED SO FAR. Seth: HASN'T WORKED SO FAR. 430 00:32:42,762 --> 00:32:48,234 NO. Seth: I WAS ALSO -- I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT EARLY DAYS OF 431 00:32:48,234 --> 00:32:52,472 THE PANDEMIC, AND ONE OF THE SHOWS THAT EVERYBODY WAS WATCHING WAS "LAST DANCE." 432 00:32:52,472 --> 00:32:54,441 YES Seth: THE ESPN DOCUMENTARY ABOUT MICHAEL JORDAN 433 00:32:54,441 --> 00:32:58,812 AND OF COURSE THIS WAS AN ERA WHEN YOU WERE A "SPORTSCENTER" ANCHOR, YOU WERE WORKING AT 434 00:32:58,812 --> 00:33:01,548 ESPN DID YOU KNOW WHEN WATCHING IT THAT THERE WOULD BE A CHANCE YOU 435 00:33:01,548 --> 00:33:05,051 WOULD SHOW UP? WERE YOU HOPEFUL FOR THAT? WELL, I HAD THE DIRECTOR ON 436 00:33:05,051 --> 00:33:11,524 AT THE VERY OUTSET BECAUSE OF THE DOCUMENTARY BECAUSE IT WAS APPARENT AS IT STARTED, SETH, 437 00:33:11,524 --> 00:33:18,164 THAT WITHOUT LIVE SPORTS, WE IN THE SPORTS MEDIA BUSINESS CERTAINLY DOING A SHOW EVERY DAY 438 00:33:18,164 --> 00:33:20,367 FOR THREE HOURS, WE WERE VIEWING "THE LAST DANCE" AS IF IT WAS A LIVE SPORTING EVENT. 439 00:33:20,367 --> 00:33:22,435 EVERYBODY WAS WATCHING IT ALL AT ONCE IT WAS SORT OF A COMMUNAL FEEL, 440 00:33:22,435 --> 00:33:31,611 JUST LIKE A LIVE SPORTING EVENT. AND WE WERE JUST -- WE WERE LEARNING NEW STUFF ABOUT 441 00:33:31,611 --> 00:33:33,380 SOMETHING THAT WE THOUGHT THAT WE HAD NOT LEARNED BEFORE. SO I HAD THE DIRECTOR ON, AND I 442 00:33:33,380 --> 00:33:36,116 DID ASK HIM IF THERE WAS A CERTAIN ANCHOR, WITH A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS HAIRCUT AT THE TIME 443 00:33:36,116 --> 00:33:38,551 THAT NO LONGER EXISTS, WAS GOING TO APPEAR. HE SAID, "YES, YOU ARE MAKING 444 00:33:38,551 --> 00:33:44,724 IT YOU WILL BE THERE. AND EACH WEEK, WEEK IN AND WEEK 445 00:33:44,724 --> 00:33:47,827 OUT IT WOULD START AND END WITHOUT ME APPEARING SO, I KNEW THE LAST EPISODE 446 00:33:47,827 --> 00:33:50,764 WOULD HAVE TO, IF HE WAS TRUE TO HIS WORD, INCLUDE ME AND, UM -- AND I POPPED UP ON 447 00:33:50,764 --> 00:33:52,332 SCREEN AND IT WAS JUST LIKE AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 448 00:33:52,332 --> 00:33:58,304 TOTALLY WORTH IT Seth: I WILL SAY YOU COULD HAVE DONE A LOT WORSE. 449 00:33:58,304 --> 00:34:04,644 YOU COULD HAVE DONE A LOT WORSE. I MEAN, IT HELPED THAT RODMAN'S HAIR WAS IN YOUR SHOT. 450 00:34:04,644 --> 00:34:07,914 YES, IT DID FOR COMPARISON PURPOSES. Seth: YEAH. 451 00:34:07,914 --> 00:34:11,751 YOURS LOOKS PERFECTLY FINE, PERFECTLY FINE HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS NOW, RICH? 452 00:34:11,751 --> 00:34:15,789 THEY ARE 12, 9, AND 7 TWO BOYS AND A GIRL. ZANDER, COOPER, AND TAYLOR 453 00:34:15,789 --> 00:34:23,329 Seth: AND SO THE NOTES -- WE HAVE SOME NOTES THAT, UH, THAT YOU'VE POSTED. 454 00:34:23,329 --> 00:34:27,367 OH, YOU DO? Seth: THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER IS THAT CORRECT? 455 00:34:27,367 --> 00:34:33,807 YES, THAT IS MY -- OH HOLD ON, LET ME PUT MY GLASSES ON NO, THAT'S MY OLDEST SON 456 00:34:33,807 --> 00:34:44,217 Seth: OKAY UM, THAT'S MY OLDEST SON WHO POSTED THAT ONE. 457 00:34:44,217 --> 00:34:45,719 Seth: OKAY. GOT YOU. SO THIS SAYS "WARNING, BORING, 458 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,287 STUCK IN THE 20th CENTURY PEOPLE ARE IN THERE." WHAT'S THAT IN REFERENCE TO? 459 00:34:47,287 --> 00:34:50,423 OKAY. MY WIFE, SUSIE, AND I INSISTED ON PLAYING A BOARD GAME INSTEAD 460 00:34:50,423 --> 00:34:53,927 OF LETTING THEM BE ON THEIR iPADS FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME OF THE DAY. 461 00:34:53,927 --> 00:34:56,830 WE STUCK TO IT WE PLAYED A BOARD GAME, AND THEN MAYBE A LITTLE BIT OF CHARADES 462 00:34:56,830 --> 00:35:00,934 AND THAT IS WHAT CAME FROM MY SON. Seth: SO THE VERY FACT THAT 463 00:35:00,934 --> 00:35:06,172 YOU WANTED TO PLAY A BOARD GAME, HE THOUGHT IT WAS NECESSARY TO PUT UP A WARNING 464 00:35:06,172 --> 00:35:09,709 20th CENTURY. YEAH, VERY 20th CENTURY. Seth: BORING 20th CENTURY 465 00:35:09,709 --> 00:35:11,945 PEOPLE YES, YEAH Seth: SO THIS, THEN, WOULD BE 466 00:35:11,945 --> 00:35:15,915 YOUR DAUGHTER. UH, YES, THAT IS MY DAUGHTER, TAYLOR 467 00:35:15,915 --> 00:35:20,587 THAT'S HER WORK. Seth: DEAR MAMA AND DADA, I THINK FIRST I SHOULD STAY UP 468 00:35:20,587 --> 00:35:24,224 LATE I KNOW I'M A GROWING KID, BUT IF I STAY UP LATER I WILL BE MORE 469 00:35:24,224 --> 00:35:29,229 TIRED, THEREFORE, I WILL SLEEP LONGER THERE'S SOME REAL LOGIC THERE. 470 00:35:29,229 --> 00:35:33,133 YOU KNOW WHAT IT WASN'T JUST WILLY-NILLY SHE WAS TRYING TO ACTUALLY USE 471 00:35:33,133 --> 00:35:37,871 RATIONAL THOUGHT UH, FOR A 7-YEAR-OLD, WE THOUGHT THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE OF HER 472 00:35:37,871 --> 00:35:44,878 TO ACTUALLY DO THAT. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, AT THE VERY END OF THE DAY IT WAS SUMMARILY 473 00:35:44,878 --> 00:35:46,546 REJECTED BY MY WIFE AND I, AND SHE DID HAVE TO GO TO BED AS SCHEDULED ON TIME, SETH. 474 00:35:46,546 --> 00:35:54,487 GOT TO SOMETIMES LAY IT DOWN, YOU KNOW Seth: IT IS KIND OF THRILLING 475 00:35:54,487 --> 00:35:58,091 WHEN KIDS START TO MAKE ARGUMENTS. YOU BOTH ARE DREADING IT BECAUSE 476 00:35:58,091 --> 00:36:01,561 THEY ARE STUBBORN. BUT JUST WATCHING THEIR BRAINS COME UP WITH LOGIC IS A REALLY 477 00:36:01,561 --> 00:36:10,770 EXCITING THING YES, BECAUSE YOUR KIDS ARE YOUNGER, RIGHT 478 00:36:10,770 --> 00:36:13,173 Seth: YEAH, TWO AND A HALF AND FOUR AND A HALF. OKAY. 479 00:36:13,173 --> 00:36:15,809 SO AT SOME POINT YOU WILL BE SO EXASPERATED BY THEIR BEHAVIOR, AND LACK OF LISTENING, AND 480 00:36:15,809 --> 00:36:25,085 ARGUMENTS THAT CONSTANTLY COME YOUR DIRECTION YOU BEGIN TO TELL THEM HOW TO 481 00:36:25,085 --> 00:36:29,155 STATE THE ARGUMENT AND GAME THE SYSTEM LIKE WE HAVE SET UP THE SYSTEM 482 00:36:29,155 --> 00:36:33,960 YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY COME AT US THIS WAY IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL 483 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:40,734 WE'VE RUN OUT OF BASICALLY, THINGS TO BASICALLY TRY, AND LAY DOWN FOR THE LAW 484 00:36:40,734 --> 00:36:42,369 Seth: YEAH I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. ESSENTIALLY 485 00:36:42,369 --> 00:36:44,237 THAT'S COMING. Seth: YEAH, JUST QUITTING YOU HAVE A SEGMENT ON YOUR SHOW 486 00:36:44,237 --> 00:36:52,312 CALLED "FOUR DOWNS." YES, SIR. Seth: AND THESE ARE WHERE YOU 487 00:36:52,312 --> 00:36:54,848 MAKE YOUR PREDICTIONS. YES Seth: WEEKLY LAY IT OUT 488 00:36:54,848 --> 00:36:56,282 YES Seth: AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ONE THAT'S MUSIC TO MY 489 00:36:56,282 --> 00:36:59,652 EARS YES AS A MATTER OF FACT, BECAUSE I 490 00:36:59,652 --> 00:37:03,456 DO THE SHOW EVERY DAY THREE HOURS A DAY, AS YOU WERE KIND ENOUGH TO MENTION, ON PEACOCK 491 00:37:03,456 --> 00:37:09,596 12:00 TO 3:00 EASTERN. I ALLOW MYSELF ONE HOT TAKE PER WEEK, WHICH IS USUALLY NOT THE 492 00:37:09,596 --> 00:37:15,402 CASE FOR PEOPLE IN POSITIONS LIKE MINE AND SHOWS LIKE MINE. Seth: NO, IT SHOWS 493 00:37:15,402 --> 00:37:19,539 INCREDIBLE -- AN INCREDIBLE RESTRAINT TO ONLY GIVE ONE HOT TAKE A WEEK. 494 00:37:19,539 --> 00:37:21,508 THANK YOU EXACTLY, ONE HOT TAKE A WEEK AS A MATTER OF FACT, IF YOU 495 00:37:21,508 --> 00:37:23,910 DON'T MIND JUST BEARING WITH ME, I'LL LEAVE THE FRAME FOR JUST ONE SECOND HERE. 496 00:37:23,910 --> 00:37:31,217 I DO IT CLUTCHING WHAT'S CALLED THE HOT TAKE PLANK WHICH IS THIS, RIGHT HERE. 497 00:37:31,217 --> 00:37:35,288 AND I ACTUALLY HAVE THE HOT TAKE PLANK WITH A MASK ON, AND MY HOT TAKE THIS WEEK, NEAR AND DEAR TO 498 00:37:35,288 --> 00:37:41,294 YOUR HEART, WAS THAT YOUR PITTSBURGH STEELERS CURRENTLY 9-0 WOULD FINISH UNDEFEATED 499 00:37:41,294 --> 00:37:47,400 16-0 THIS YEAR, SETH THEY WILL FINISH UNDEFEATED. THAT IS MY HOT TAKE. 500 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,804 AND IT IS MY RIGHT TO HOT TAKE, NOT ONLY BECAUSE I WAS CLUTCHING THE PLANK, BUT IF I'M WRONG, 501 00:37:50,804 --> 00:37:56,943 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? IF I'M RIGHT, I WILL MENTION IT LITERALLY EVERY WEEK FOR THE 502 00:37:56,943 --> 00:38:01,014 REST OF THE YEAR Seth: YEAH, YOU KNOW, I WILL NOT SPEAK ANY OF THOSE WORDS 503 00:38:01,014 --> 00:38:06,553 BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO JINX IT. YES Seth: BUT I WILL ONLY SAY 504 00:38:06,553 --> 00:38:12,759 THAT I HOPE THIS IS ONE OF THOSE CASES, MORE THAN EVER, THAT I AM ROOTING FOR YOU TO BE CORRECT. 505 00:38:12,759 --> 00:38:15,395 LAST THING, I'M GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT WE'RE FILMING THIS IN THE AFTERNOON, 506 00:38:15,395 --> 00:38:18,898 AND WHEN IT AIRS THERE WILL HAVE BEEN A FOOTBALL GAME SO PEOPLE ABSOLUTELY IMMEDIATELY 507 00:38:18,898 --> 00:38:22,068 WILL KNOW IF YOU'RE RIGHT OR WRONG. WHO IS GOING TO WIN TONIGHT, THE 508 00:38:22,068 --> 00:38:25,672 CARDINALS OR THE SEAHAWKS? I'M GOING TO TAKE THE ARIZONA CARDINALS TO HAND THE SEATTLE 509 00:38:25,672 --> 00:38:27,107 SEAHAWKS THEIR FIRST THREE-GAME LOSING STREAK OF THE PETE CARROLL ERA 510 00:38:27,107 --> 00:38:31,911 THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. Seth: OKAY, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT ONLY BECAUSE THAT WILL 511 00:38:31,911 --> 00:38:34,948 INCREASE THE ODDS YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT OTHER THING THAT I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT. 512 00:38:34,948 --> 00:38:37,917 [ LAUGHTER ] IT SHALL NO LONGER BE MENTIONED. 513 00:38:37,917 --> 00:38:41,521 Seth: "THE RICH EISEN SHOW" AIRS WEEKDAYS AT NOON ON PEACOCK. 514 00:38:41,521 --> 00:39:03,843 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT. * 515 00:39:03,843 --> 00:39:07,547 Seth: COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR ALL NEW SHOWS. WE'LL HAVE MANDY MOORE, 516 00:39:07,547 --> 00:39:10,016 JEFF TWEEDY, AMY ADAMS, AND JOHN OLIVER. AND RIGHT NOW, MY FAMILY IS 517 00:39:10,016 --> 00:39:12,185 QUARANTINING, BECAUSE AS WE DO EVERY THANKSGIVING, MY GUESTS WILL BE MY PARENTS AND MY 518 00:39:12,185 --> 00:39:16,289 BROTHER. YOU KNOW, IT'S ONE OF OUR HIGHEST-RATED SHOWS OF THE YEAR. 519 00:39:16,289 --> 00:39:18,158 AND IF YOU ASK MOST PEOPLE -- MOST EXPERTS -- THEY WOULD SAY IT'S BECAUSE OUR LEAD-IN IS A 520 00:39:18,158 --> 00:39:24,064 BIG FOOTBALL GAME ON NBC BUT IF YOU ASK LARRY AND HILARY MEYERS, THEY'RE EXTREMELY 521 00:39:24,064 --> 00:39:29,736 CONVINCED THEY ARE THE REASON FOR OUR RATINGS SUCCESS, AND I KNOW BETTER THAN TO ARGUE WITH 522 00:39:29,736 --> 00:39:49,189 EITHER OF THEM WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. * 523 00:39:49,189 --> 00:39:54,461 Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS, MICHAEL MOORE AND RICH EISEN 524 00:39:54,461 --> 00:39:55,895 I WANT TO THANK VALERIE FRANCO AND THE 8G BAND. STAY TUNED FOR LILLY - 525 00:39:55,895 --> 00:39:57,230 HI, SETH! Seth: OH, HI, AMBER SETH, HEY QUICK QUESTION, 526 00:39:57,230 --> 00:40:02,435 WHAT'S MY FAVORITE MOVIE FROM 2017? Seth: UMM, IS IT "GET OUT?" 527 00:40:02,435 --> 00:40:05,271 THAT'S RIGHT! GET OUT, SO I CAN GET READY FOR "THE AMBER RUFFIN SHOW," WHICH 528 00:40:05,271 --> 00:40:08,908 IS ON PEACOCK, AND SHOOTS IN THIS STUDIO TOMORROW Seth: STAY SAFE 529 00:40:08,908 --> 00:40:10,744 WASH YOUR HANDS. WEAR A MASK. WE LOVE YOU. 530 00:40:10,744 --> 00:40:14,481 WE LOVE YOU * * BUT I LOVE YO 531 00:40:14,481 --> 00:40:19,386 MORE THAN HI HE DOESN'T LOVE YO AS MUCH AS I DO * 532 00:40:19,386 --> 00:40:22,589 * I LOVE YOU LIKE THIS SUPER MUC HE LOVES YOU LIK 533 00:40:22,589 --> 00:40:22,589 HE LOVES YOU LIK JUST A TEENY LITTLE BIT * *