1
00:00:02,237 --> 00:00:04,571
(Door slams)

2
00:00:04,573 --> 00:00:07,340
- David?

3
00:00:07,342 --> 00:00:10,310
David, what is this?!

4
00:00:10,312 --> 00:00:12,812
- It looks like a bike.

5
00:00:12,814 --> 00:00:14,814
- Is it yours?

6
00:00:14,816 --> 00:00:18,385
- Yes. Yes, it is.

7
00:00:18,387 --> 00:00:20,654
- David, what is this
          doing here?

8
00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:22,389
- You might wanna read
           the note.

9
00:00:22,391 --> 00:00:24,524
- No, is it from Mutt?

10
00:00:24,526 --> 00:00:26,893
David!

11
00:00:26,895 --> 00:00:28,194
No! No!

12
00:00:31,266 --> 00:00:33,099
- I feel like he really
           gets you.

13
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:36,136
Like, I feel like he sees like,
     deep into your soul.

14
00:00:36,138 --> 00:00:38,405
I'm not quite sure what
     he's seeing exactly,

15
00:00:38,407 --> 00:00:40,840
but there's definitely -
     he's looking inward.

16
00:00:40,842 --> 00:00:42,609
- What am I gonna do?!
         - About what?

17
00:00:42,611 --> 00:00:43,877
- This is serious, David!

18
00:00:43,879 --> 00:00:45,545
This is so off base!

19
00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:47,414
Arghh!

20
00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:49,316
My God, imagine what kind
       of ring he'd buy!

21
00:00:49,318 --> 00:00:51,084
Like an opal, or something.

22
00:00:51,086 --> 00:00:53,320
- Ooh, like a pear-shaped opal.
          - (Groans)

23
00:00:53,322 --> 00:00:54,988
(Knocking)
 MUTT: Hello, is anybody home?

24
00:00:54,990 --> 00:00:57,190
- No, Mutt!

25
00:00:57,192 --> 00:00:59,526
Hey, you have to support me
           in this.

26
00:00:59,528 --> 00:01:00,794
- Mhmm.
- You have to, do you promise me?

27
00:01:00,796 --> 00:01:03,697
- Oh yeah, of course.

28
00:01:03,699 --> 00:01:05,198
- (Calming exhale)

29
00:01:06,902 --> 00:01:08,835
- So...
          - Hey you!

30
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,307
This is so special for me.

31
00:01:14,309 --> 00:01:15,342
- Well, I you needed a new
    mode of transportation.

32
00:01:15,344 --> 00:01:18,078
- I do!

33
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,147
I do need a mode
      of transportation!

34
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:24,617
And like, a car would be nice,
     but do I need a car?

35
00:01:24,619 --> 00:01:27,787
- Not anymore, it appears.

36
00:01:27,789 --> 00:01:29,222
- Well, you said you missed
       spin class, so...

37
00:01:29,224 --> 00:01:30,924
- I did!

38
00:01:30,926 --> 00:01:32,592
I did say that I missed
          spin class.

39
00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:34,828
And so you bought me a bike!

40
00:01:34,830 --> 00:01:36,863
Because I said that I missed
          spin class.

41
00:01:36,865 --> 00:01:40,700
Because you're so thoughtful
        and perceptive.

42
00:01:40,702 --> 00:01:43,403
- So you like it?
  - Mm, I'd say she loves it.

43
00:01:43,405 --> 00:01:46,539
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, you're gonna need this.

44
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,208
DAVID AND ALEXIS: A helmet!

45
00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:49,776
- It came with the bike.

46
00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:51,544
- I think you should
          put it on.

47
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:52,712
Like, I think you should
        actually like,

48
00:01:52,714 --> 00:01:55,115
like, put the helmet on.
            - Yeah.

49
00:01:55,117 --> 00:01:57,150
And I will one day,

50
00:01:57,152 --> 00:02:00,086
when we take this little pony
        for a joyride!

51
00:02:00,088 --> 00:02:02,422
- Actually, I brought my bike,
    so we can test it out.

52
00:02:02,424 --> 00:02:04,924
I thought maybe we could take
  a little ride to the cafe.

53
00:02:04,926 --> 00:02:07,427
- Ah! So fun.

54
00:02:07,429 --> 00:02:09,329
(Whispering)
      I hate you, David!

55
00:02:09,331 --> 00:02:10,430
- See 'ya!

56
00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:16,202
♪♪

57
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,273
(Low hum of chatter)

58
00:02:26,048 --> 00:02:28,415
- What about lamps?

59
00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:30,984
The lamps at the motel
       have those uh...

60
00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:32,919
little bulbs,

61
00:02:32,921 --> 00:02:35,688
These are old-fashioned
        big bulb lamps.

62
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:37,724
- I don't see any bulbs here.

63
00:02:37,726 --> 00:02:39,426
- No there aren't,
       but the point is,

64
00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:41,861
we can get big bulbs
  if we have big bulb lamps.

65
00:02:41,863 --> 00:02:44,230
- Oh John, I don't know.

66
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:47,033
Lamps, clothing, jewelry...

67
00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,768
Look at this poor woman's life

68
00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:51,304
strewn across cheap folding
            tables.

69
00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:56,176
John, do you think they did
     this with our things?

70
00:02:56,178 --> 00:02:58,311
- No, not ours, no.

71
00:02:58,313 --> 00:03:01,815
They put our stuff
      right on the lawn.

72
00:03:01,817 --> 00:03:05,685
- Strangers picking through
   precious pieces we owned!

73
00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:07,654
- I know, and judging us,

74
00:03:07,656 --> 00:03:09,422
like we're judging
       this poor woman.

75
00:03:09,424 --> 00:03:10,924
- Well, except they'd
       have been saying,

76
00:03:10,926 --> 00:03:12,792
"what great taste they had!"

77
00:03:12,794 --> 00:03:15,628
- I wonder who got
        my golf clubs.

78
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:18,031
Really, John, that's the first
   thing that comes to mind?

79
00:03:18,033 --> 00:03:20,667
- They were custom made.

80
00:03:20,669 --> 00:03:23,670
- So was my Galapagonian
   tortoiseshell foot bath.

81
00:03:23,672 --> 00:03:25,672
And now some lonely hoarder

82
00:03:25,674 --> 00:03:28,274
is letting his cats
          poop in it.

83
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:32,145
- Well, they were just
  things, Moira, just things.

84
00:03:32,147 --> 00:03:35,215
- Yeah, designer,
     one-of-a-kind things.

85
00:03:35,217 --> 00:03:39,486
- Yeah, sleek, oak-trimmed,
       leather interior,

86
00:03:39,488 --> 00:03:42,822
German-engineered things.
             - Oh!

87
00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:45,425
Shopping used to cheer me up.

88
00:03:45,427 --> 00:03:47,260
Big bulbs is not
       doing it for me.

89
00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:52,999
(Knock on door)

90
00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:54,501
- (Groans) Oh God.

91
00:03:56,938 --> 00:03:57,318
- Roland!

92
00:03:57,344 --> 00:03:58,838
- Sure, I'll come in,
but just for a second.

93
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,040
BOTH: Ahem!

94
00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:03,510
- Huh!
          - (Laughs)

95
00:04:03,512 --> 00:04:06,279
- Can I help you
        with something?

96
00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:09,315
- Well um, here's the deal:

97
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,451
Uh, I was thinking
         this morning,

98
00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:12,652
And I don't wanna tell you
     where I was thinking,

99
00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:14,087
but it was a small room
         in my house,

100
00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:15,355
and I was sitting down--
            - Okay.

101
00:04:15,357 --> 00:04:17,624
- And I was thinking to myself,

102
00:04:17,626 --> 00:04:22,595
who can I trust to help me
  pick out a woman's blouse?

103
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:26,099
And you know whose name
         came to mind?

104
00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:27,467
- I don't-I don't know,
          Rachel Zoe?

105
00:04:27,469 --> 00:04:29,836
- Yours!

106
00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:32,172
- I don't know how to take that.

107
00:04:32,174 --> 00:04:35,008
- It's for Jocelyn.
             - Mm!

108
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:36,609
- And you know,
     I would do it myself,

109
00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:38,511
it's just that you know,
           shopping,

110
00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:40,580
I mean, you go in, you get--

111
00:04:40,582 --> 00:04:42,849
you know, look at the stuff
         on the racks,

112
00:04:42,851 --> 00:04:45,351
- Uh huh... - and you pick out, you
know, the colour that you like,

113
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,554
and then you try it on
  and make sure it fits you,

114
00:04:47,556 --> 00:04:49,622
- Right.
- and then you buy it and you--

115
00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:51,457
- You're just describing
       what shopping is.

116
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,527
- Yes, and normally
      I'm fine with that,

117
00:04:54,529 --> 00:04:58,198
it's just I'm looking for
something a little fancy here.

118
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,434
A little um, stylish.
       A little elegant.

119
00:05:01,436 --> 00:05:03,336
- Ah...
          - You know?

120
00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:06,039
And who knows elegance
     better than you, pal?

121
00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:09,442
I mean, you're the only
      elegant guy I know!

122
00:05:09,444 --> 00:05:13,680
- So you're looking for me
       to style Jocelyn?

123
00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:16,316
- Well, actually, this is
  supposed to be a surprise.

124
00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:18,818
So I was kinda thinking
        that maybe um,

125
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:22,355
you and me could just go out
      and do a little uh,

126
00:05:22,357 --> 00:05:24,324
shopping together
       on the down low.

127
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:31,931
- Y-Yeah... Yeah, that um...

128
00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:33,433
No, we could to that,
we could do that at some point.

129
00:05:33,435 --> 00:05:35,034
- Oh, great!
         - Yeah. Yeah.

130
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:36,436
- Good, that's terrific.

131
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,772
So then, whenever's good
           for you.

132
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,541
- Okay, great.

133
00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:49,249
So you wanna-so you wanna
            go now?

134
00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:51,517
- It's a little time sensitive,
    that's the only thing.

135
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:52,719
- Yeah, okay, well, I take it
    you have measurements,

136
00:05:52,721 --> 00:05:55,321
and a mood board, then?

137
00:05:55,323 --> 00:05:57,223
- The whole purpose
       of having a bike

138
00:05:57,225 --> 00:05:59,726
might be to actually
        ride the bike.

139
00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:01,361
- Yeah, I'm just not wearing
       the right outfit.

140
00:06:01,363 --> 00:06:02,929
- It's a five minute ride.

141
00:06:02,931 --> 00:06:04,564
- Yeah, so by the time
          we get on,

142
00:06:04,566 --> 00:06:07,233
and then we get off,
   it's almost not worth it.

143
00:06:07,235 --> 00:06:09,502
- Do you not like the bike?

144
00:06:09,504 --> 00:06:13,072
- No, I love it! It's just
           that, um,

145
00:06:13,074 --> 00:06:15,475
there are so many drunk drivers
         around here.

146
00:06:15,477 --> 00:06:17,310
- It's 10:00am.

147
00:06:17,312 --> 00:06:19,612
- Mutt, you tell that
       to an alcoholic!

148
00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:20,813
- Is it the colour?
        Because I mean,

149
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,016
it's totally fixable!
         - Okay, fine.

150
00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:25,084
I don't know how to ride
            a bike.

151
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:28,421
- What?
- I said, I don't know how to ride a bike!

152
00:06:28,423 --> 00:06:32,058
(Groans) Ugh!

153
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,534
- Moira, look at these
          cufflinks.

154
00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:43,936
- Oh John,

155
00:06:43,938 --> 00:06:45,605
We're better off stealing
    cutlery from the cafe!

156
00:06:45,607 --> 00:06:47,707
- No, these look like sterling.

157
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:49,442
I'm gonna bid on these.

158
00:06:49,444 --> 00:06:51,311
- Hey there, Roses!

159
00:06:51,313 --> 00:06:52,879
- Oh, hi.
      - Oh hey, Jocelyn.

160
00:06:52,881 --> 00:06:54,080
- Look at you two
       bargain hunters.

161
00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:56,149
You finding anything yet?

162
00:06:56,151 --> 00:06:57,750
- Mm, nothing you couldn't see
     fall out of a common

163
00:06:57,752 --> 00:06:59,986
Christmas cracker!

164
00:06:59,988 --> 00:07:02,155
- I think half the fun
    is panning for nuggets

165
00:07:02,157 --> 00:07:06,426
at these things.
 - Ooh, look at that mattress!

166
00:07:06,428 --> 00:07:08,895
- Well, there you go,
         what a find.

167
00:07:08,897 --> 00:07:11,597
- Poor dear, enchanted
        by a death bed.

168
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,800
- This is a brand new mattress,
  it's still in the plastic!

169
00:07:13,802 --> 00:07:15,968
- What?!
            - Yeah!

170
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:18,738
And it's memory foam!
 This must've cost a fortune!

171
00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:21,140
- Well, you're just gonna have
         to bid on it.

172
00:07:21,142 --> 00:07:23,776
- John, why didn't you see
     that mattress first?!

173
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,812
That's something we could
         actually use!

174
00:07:25,814 --> 00:07:28,414
- I'll use the cufflinks!
      - What size is it?

175
00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:30,917
- Oh I don't know,
    it's at least a queen.

176
00:07:30,919 --> 00:07:34,187
- Well, that's too big
         to get home.

177
00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:36,789
- No, we got the truck.
    - But awkward, Jocelyn,

178
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,392
and awkward with those
    tiny doorways of yours.

179
00:07:39,394 --> 00:07:41,127
- Johnny, help me cover it up.

180
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,595
I don't want other people
          to see it.

181
00:07:42,597 --> 00:07:43,629
(Jocelyn grunts with effort)

182
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,935
- Now, we need a top,
     and we need a bottom.

183
00:07:48,937 --> 00:07:50,870
Like a skirt,
     something like that,

184
00:07:50,872 --> 00:07:53,039
which I know you're familiar
with 'cause you're wearing one.

185
00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:55,141
- Okay, these are pants that
    just so happen to have

186
00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:58,277
a pant fabric over the front
       and back-- okay.

187
00:07:58,279 --> 00:08:00,613
- Yeah, it's a skirt.
     Um, what about this?

188
00:08:00,615 --> 00:08:02,415
It seems durable, yes?

189
00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:05,151
- Yeah um, in fashion,
      durable and elegant

190
00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:06,919
rarely go hand in hand.

191
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,455
so I'd put that- put that back.

192
00:08:09,457 --> 00:08:11,591
- Okay, so not that.

193
00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:13,826
- What about this?

194
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:17,597
Jocelyn seems to like
      loud floral prints.

195
00:08:17,599 --> 00:08:21,000
- Yeah, the thing is, um,
 this is kind of a special...

196
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:24,203
kind of blouse.
           - Uh-huh.

197
00:08:24,205 --> 00:08:25,571
- Have you ever seen
   "The Devil Wears Prada?"

198
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,740
- Obviously!
         - Okay, well,

199
00:08:27,742 --> 00:08:30,977
Meryl Streep plays this kind of
powerful, sexy fashion woman--

200
00:08:30,979 --> 00:08:33,780
- Yep, I've seen it!
        - Okay, anyway,

201
00:08:33,782 --> 00:08:35,548
Jocelyn and I like to have
 a little fun with that idea,

202
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,483
if you know what I mean.

203
00:08:37,485 --> 00:08:39,519
She plays Meryl,
    and I play the nervous

204
00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:43,990
but ambitious intern
    who's new to the city.

205
00:08:43,992 --> 00:08:45,925
- Oh, so you're the--

206
00:08:45,927 --> 00:08:48,661
So you-you're the Anne
  Hathaway in that situation?

207
00:08:48,663 --> 00:08:51,264
- I don't know who that is.

208
00:08:51,266 --> 00:08:52,765
Well, that's more than enough
 information for me to go on.

209
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,437
ALEXIS: You're judging me!
        MUTT: I'm not!

210
00:08:57,439 --> 00:08:59,005
It's just riding a bike
   is a pretty basic skill.

211
00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:01,507
- Mm, is it though?

212
00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:03,409
- I think that most kids
   learn how to ride a bike!

213
00:09:03,411 --> 00:09:06,012
- Yeah well, most kids
      also get head lice.

214
00:09:06,014 --> 00:09:08,114
I'm sorry if the opportunity
    never presented itself.

215
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:10,183
- Oh what, there was no
     gap year in Belgium?

216
00:09:10,185 --> 00:09:12,452
(With a French accent)
 No Tour de France boyfriend?

217
00:09:12,454 --> 00:09:16,456
- Yeah, but I never had
       to ride the bike!

218
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:19,292
And David was such
     a little drama queen

219
00:09:19,294 --> 00:09:21,494
when my parents tried
         teaching him,

220
00:09:21,496 --> 00:09:23,496
that they threw all the bikes
     into this big bonfire

221
00:09:23,498 --> 00:09:25,998
up in the Hamptons, and we
 never talked about it again.

222
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,935
- Oh.

223
00:09:28,937 --> 00:09:30,937
- Anyway, I have lots of skills
     that you don't have.

224
00:09:30,939 --> 00:09:32,738
- I am sure that you do.

225
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,440
- Like, have you ever had
    to negotiate in Arabic?

226
00:09:34,442 --> 00:09:36,609
It is very difficult.
       - I believe you.

227
00:09:36,611 --> 00:09:38,077
- And try getting into
     "Kiss Kiss" in Tokyo

228
00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:39,912
without a lock of human hair.

229
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,747
- Now, you see,
    if you can do all that,

230
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,649
I'm pretty sure that you can
     learn to ride a bike.

231
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:47,019
- (Laughs)

232
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,387
- Alexis?

233
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,925
- Sorry, I was just thinking
    about this crazy night

234
00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:57,163
at "Kiss Kiss."

235
00:09:57,165 --> 00:09:58,698
(Laughs)

236
00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:06,072
- Well, this might be the closest
we're gonna get to Meryl.

237
00:10:06,074 --> 00:10:09,175
You know, if she got fired
 from her job at the magazine,

238
00:10:09,177 --> 00:10:11,611
and started walking
         the streets.

239
00:10:11,613 --> 00:10:14,280
- Oh, that's a good one!
We haven't tried that one yet.

240
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:16,182
- Yeah, I wouldn't.
    - No, it's a good idea.

241
00:10:16,184 --> 00:10:19,085
WENDY: Missing Peter Pan?

242
00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:21,888
- I'm sorry?

243
00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:24,657
- Well, because I see
   a couple of "Lost Boys."

244
00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:27,894
(Chuckles)

245
00:10:27,896 --> 00:10:32,198
Hi, I'm Wendy. Are we shopping
  for a mother, a girlfriend?

246
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,433
- Actually, my wife.
             - Oh!

247
00:10:34,435 --> 00:10:35,368
- Yeah, we've got it
     under control though,

248
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,936
so thank you so much.

249
00:10:36,938 --> 00:10:39,171
- Oh well, very well, then.

250
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:42,308
If you need me,
      I'll be right here.

251
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:44,577
I know how hard it can be
          for two men

252
00:10:44,579 --> 00:10:47,346
in a women's clothing store.

253
00:10:47,348 --> 00:10:49,048
Well, I'm actually
     in really good hands,

254
00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:51,751
because this man
     has a woman's touch.

255
00:10:51,753 --> 00:10:52,118
- I don't-I don't know what
          that means.

256
00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,328
- Okay, so we're gonna take
         these pieces.

257
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:06,732
- Oh well, I have to ask,
    is this for a funeral?

258
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:09,869
Because we do offer
    bereavement discounts.

259
00:11:09,871 --> 00:11:11,571
- No, why would you think that?

260
00:11:11,573 --> 00:11:15,241
- Well, just very somber,
        serious pieces.

261
00:11:15,243 --> 00:11:17,176
- Well, we don't want that!

262
00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:19,178
- Well, they're not--
     - If you're willing,

263
00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:21,380
I have a few new pieces
      that just came in,

264
00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:24,050
I'd love for you to see them.

265
00:11:24,052 --> 00:11:25,451
- I just don't know if we need to be
adding any more options to the mix.

266
00:11:25,453 --> 00:11:27,253
- Well, if she's offering,
      what's the problem?

267
00:11:27,255 --> 00:11:30,590
- Everything in here is like
    one big, tacky blouse.

268
00:11:30,592 --> 00:11:33,593
- Oh, come on, that's silly.

269
00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:37,263
- Now, I know you men
     like to play it safe,

270
00:11:37,265 --> 00:11:40,600
but I just thought,
     why not shake it up?

271
00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:43,202
- Ugh!
      - Oh, I like these!

272
00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:45,438
- Um...
         - Hmm? Mhmm!

273
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,840
- Are they durable?
          - Oh well,

274
00:11:47,842 --> 00:11:50,776
durability a given here
     at the "Blouse Barn."

275
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,411
And if you're asking
         my opinion...

276
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:54,480
- Are we, though?

277
00:11:54,482 --> 00:11:55,915
- It's between these two.

278
00:11:57,919 --> 00:12:01,754
- Well, this is a real
      "Sophie's Choice!"

279
00:12:01,756 --> 00:12:03,789
- I hope that you and Jocelyn
 don't role play that at home.

280
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,191
- Hell, we've played
      every Streep movie.

281
00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:07,960
- Oh, okay.
            - Um...

282
00:12:07,962 --> 00:12:10,663
Would you describe either
 of those as "quick release?"

283
00:12:10,665 --> 00:12:13,299
- Funnily enough,
       both have snaps.

284
00:12:13,301 --> 00:12:15,568
- Oh, great!

285
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:18,871
Well, then I guess I um...

286
00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:21,540
Well...

287
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,409
Uh, which one do you like?

288
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:29,482
- I don't know,
   it's such a tough choice.

289
00:12:29,484 --> 00:12:31,517
- Oh, you're tellin' me!

290
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:33,285
- It's just that I'm finding
     both of these options

291
00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:36,255
to be a little um...
            - What?

292
00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:38,024
- Well, I don't know,
 we've just spent so much time

293
00:12:38,026 --> 00:12:40,760
and energy finding the few
   pieces that aren't um...

294
00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:44,130
- Uh...
           - What?!

295
00:12:44,132 --> 00:12:46,032
- I'm trying to find the word
     to describe what I--

296
00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:48,434
- Oh! Flirty? Sassy?

297
00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:51,637
- Skanky! I think the clothes
       are a bit skanky.

298
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:54,006
- Hmm.

299
00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:55,574
- Well! Skanky.

300
00:12:57,578 --> 00:12:59,945
- We'll um, take
   the funereal skirt then,

301
00:13:02,016 --> 00:13:04,884
and the skanky blouse.

302
00:13:04,886 --> 00:13:07,153
RAY: And sold!
         (Gavel bangs)

303
00:13:07,155 --> 00:13:09,822
To Johnny Rose, for the price
        of $15 dollars!

304
00:13:09,824 --> 00:13:11,524
Which uh, I hope you can
            afford.

305
00:13:11,526 --> 00:13:13,726
You know, considering
   your financial situation.

306
00:13:13,728 --> 00:13:15,428
- Yeah, I get it Ray,
      I get it. I get it.

307
00:13:15,430 --> 00:13:18,230
I've got cash, and I'd just
  like my cufflinks, please.

308
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,700
RAY: And now, moving on
       to bedroom items.

309
00:13:20,702 --> 00:13:23,502
First we'll have a brand new
          queen sized

310
00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:26,205
memory foam mattress.

311
00:13:26,207 --> 00:13:28,340
We'll start the bidding
  on the bed at $50 dollars.

312
00:13:28,342 --> 00:13:30,676
We have $50!

313
00:13:30,678 --> 00:13:32,845
- $60!
           - Moira.

314
00:13:32,847 --> 00:13:35,014
- Ssh!
 - Ooh, I smell a bidding war!

315
00:13:35,016 --> 00:13:36,916
Do we have $70?
            - $70!

316
00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:38,951
- $70! Do I have $75?

317
00:13:38,953 --> 00:13:41,387
- $75!
 - Moira, what are you doing?

318
00:13:41,389 --> 00:13:43,089
- We are currently sleeping
  on a rectangular collection

319
00:13:43,091 --> 00:13:44,290
of knives and barbed wire,
             John.

320
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:45,591
- $75, do we have $80?

321
00:13:45,593 --> 00:13:47,693
- $80!
            - $80!

322
00:13:47,695 --> 00:13:49,895
- $90!
- Moira, we can't afford this!

323
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,797
- You got the cufflinks!
      - For $15 dollars!

324
00:13:51,799 --> 00:13:53,966
- $90! Do we have $100?
            - $100!

325
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:56,168
- $100!
- You just bid against yourself!

326
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,304
RAY: Do I hear $105?

327
00:13:58,306 --> 00:13:59,839
- Do you remember what we used
   to sleep on? Texas Kings!

328
00:13:59,841 --> 00:14:03,109
- $130!
 - Wow, $130! Do I hear $135?

329
00:14:03,111 --> 00:14:05,111
- $140!
            - $150!

330
00:14:05,113 --> 00:14:07,213
- $160!
   - Moira, I'm begging you!

331
00:14:07,215 --> 00:14:09,181
- Oh, she has a decent bed,
             John,

332
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:09,982
she's just being greedy!
        - $165, anyone?

333
00:14:09,984 --> 00:14:12,618
- $170!
      - You did it again!

334
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,153
- I know what I'm doing!
         - $170! $180?

335
00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:15,654
- Ray, I think we're done here!
            - $180!

336
00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:18,557
- $180! Do I hear $190?

337
00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:20,559
- One-nine... Two hundred!

338
00:14:20,561 --> 00:14:23,529
- $200! Wow, Mrs. Rose.

339
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:26,232
You're really going for it,
     which is surprising--

340
00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:29,034
- Yeah, Ray, you know what,
 that was just a joke bid, so.

341
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,903
- Oh, I understand.

342
00:14:30,905 --> 00:14:32,371
Unfortunately that joke bid
   is currently our highest

343
00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:34,473
at $200 dollars!

344
00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:38,410
Going once, going twice,
    - Two hundred and one!

345
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:43,449
- $201 going once, going twice,
           - Don't!

346
00:14:43,451 --> 00:14:47,153
- Sold, to Jocelyn Schitt,
       for $201 dollars.

347
00:14:47,155 --> 00:14:48,788
- Fuck!

348
00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:50,356
(Truck rumbles)

349
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:56,362
- Well, thank you for
     this delightful trip.

350
00:14:56,364 --> 00:14:57,296
- You know, I'm starting to get
     the feeling that uh,

351
00:14:57,298 --> 00:14:59,565
you're a little upset.

352
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,300
- What would give you
       that impression?

353
00:15:01,302 --> 00:15:03,369
- Well, I first noticed it
      when Heart came on,

354
00:15:03,371 --> 00:15:06,972
and nobody was taking
        the high parts.

355
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,141
- Oh my God!
- Look you should feel good about yourself!

356
00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:11,811
Come on, you made some
     great choices today.

357
00:15:11,813 --> 00:15:13,846
- Nothing we bought today
      came anywhere close

358
00:15:13,848 --> 00:15:15,214
to something Meryl Streep
          would wear

359
00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:17,082
in "The Devil Wears Prada,"
           nothing!

360
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,418
- Oh jeez, you are so touchy!

361
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:22,755
God, you're like a-
     a fancy dinner plate

362
00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:27,193
that you don't wanna nudge off
    the edge of the table.

363
00:15:27,195 --> 00:15:29,128
- Okay, I don't know
       what that means.

364
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,163
Um listen, I don't have a lot
     to my name right now,

365
00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:32,731
but I do have one thing.

366
00:15:32,733 --> 00:15:36,035
- Self-respect?
         - No, taste.

367
00:15:36,037 --> 00:15:38,470
And when that is not
         appreciated,

368
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:42,908
or worse, publicly undermined,
          publicly...

369
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:45,044
uh yeah, I might get a little
            upset.

370
00:15:45,046 --> 00:15:46,745
- Look, David- David!

371
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:49,548
(Sighs) Listen.

372
00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:52,218
If I wasn't so easily swayed
       by powerful women

373
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:55,387
in a retail environment,
I would've been there for you.

374
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:59,058
Okay, because I honestly
    believe that really do

375
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:00,659
have a very, very sharp eye.

376
00:16:04,098 --> 00:16:06,398
- Thank you, that's nice of you
            to say.

377
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,367
- Trust me, when Joc
       sees this blouse,

378
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:09,869
I'm gonna make sure
   she knows you're the one

379
00:16:09,871 --> 00:16:11,303
that picked it out.
 - I didn't pick that blouse.

380
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:12,371
- I know, but I'm gonna tell
         her you did.

381
00:16:12,373 --> 00:16:13,706
- Okay, thanks so much.

382
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,140
(Truck rumbles)

383
00:16:19,547 --> 00:16:21,814
(Rattles)

384
00:16:21,816 --> 00:16:24,583
- This is ridiculous!
   - This is how you learn.

385
00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:25,684
- Everyone is looking
         at me, Mutt!

386
00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:27,586
- No one is looking at you!

387
00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:30,356
- Ugh!
     - Is everything okay?

388
00:16:30,358 --> 00:16:32,825
People were saying that a girl
 was struggling with her bike.

389
00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:34,994
I kinda just assumed
       it was a toddler.

390
00:16:34,996 --> 00:16:37,229
- No, I am a grown adult
         young woman.

391
00:16:37,231 --> 00:16:38,731
- Okay, this is how my dad
          taught me,

392
00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:41,734
and this is how
       I'm teaching you!

393
00:16:41,736 --> 00:16:44,169
- I'm glad I knew how to ride
     a bike when we dated.

394
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,437
- Yeah, I don't really trust
  your dad in terms of like,

395
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,474
"teachable moments."

396
00:16:48,476 --> 00:16:50,643
TWYLA: You know, one of my mom's
boyfriends had a really great trick.

397
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:52,878
He used to say,
   "One foot on the ground,

398
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,681
one foot on the pedal,
 now get the hell outta here!"

399
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,549
- Hey, that's fun, I like that,
        let's try that.

400
00:16:57,551 --> 00:16:59,184
- Okay fine, I'm just saying,

401
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,419
if it's something you never
         did before--

402
00:17:00,421 --> 00:17:03,122
- There you go!
         - Okay, wait!

403
00:17:03,124 --> 00:17:06,325
- Are you coming, or do I just
 keep like, driving straight?

404
00:17:06,327 --> 00:17:08,260
- I didn't teach you how
         to brake yet!

405
00:17:08,262 --> 00:17:11,030
- Get the hell outta here,
        you dumb broad!

406
00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:12,364
(Chuckles) That was another
     thing he used to say.

407
00:17:17,972 --> 00:17:19,638
(Knocks)

408
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,479
- Hey.
           - Roland!

409
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:30,015
- Johnny, um, do you have
           a minute?

410
00:17:30,017 --> 00:17:31,417
- Yeah.
         - Come here.

411
00:17:33,788 --> 00:17:35,754
- What's going on?

412
00:17:35,756 --> 00:17:37,790
- Well Johnny,
     I'm about to make you

413
00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:41,160
the most popular guy in Room 6.

414
00:17:41,162 --> 00:17:42,962
- Is this the mattress?

415
00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:45,130
- Okay, yeah,
     I've got a big heart,

416
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,732
all right, don't spread it
            around.

417
00:17:46,734 --> 00:17:50,269
I talked Jocelyn into
     letting you have it.

418
00:17:50,271 --> 00:17:52,805
- You're giving us
         the mattress?

419
00:17:52,807 --> 00:17:56,809
- Well, practically,
  it's yours for $200 bucks.

420
00:17:56,811 --> 00:17:58,944
- That's a dollar less
     than you paid for it!

421
00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:01,480
- Johnny, it's barely
      out of the plastic.

422
00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:04,016
- We can't afford it.

423
00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:06,885
- Oh I see, you're the master
 negotiator at work here, huh?

424
00:18:06,887 --> 00:18:09,655
Okay, um, $195.

425
00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:11,890
- We can't afford it!

426
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:13,726
- Okay, hardball, huh?
          I'll play.

427
00:18:13,728 --> 00:18:15,694
Um, $182.50.

428
00:18:15,696 --> 00:18:19,365
- All right, bye, Roland.
        - Fifty bucks.

429
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:21,500
- Fifty?

430
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:25,504
- Look, I'll level with you,
             okay?

431
00:18:25,506 --> 00:18:26,872
Um, we tried it out as soon
  as Jocelyn brought it home.

432
00:18:30,144 --> 00:18:32,211
- You tried it out?

433
00:18:32,213 --> 00:18:33,679
- Yeah, not enough bounce
        for the bumps,

434
00:18:33,681 --> 00:18:35,647
if you know what I mean.
             -Hmm.

435
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:37,783
- But given your advanced
            years,

436
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:40,486
it might just be the thing
      for you and Moira.

437
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:42,888
- Yeah well, we're not that
            old...

438
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:45,224
But $50?

439
00:18:48,262 --> 00:18:49,895
(Crickets chirp)

440
00:18:49,897 --> 00:18:52,097
MOIRA: Kudos to you, Mr. Rose.

441
00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:53,298
I can't believe
       I'm saying this,

442
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,801
but I'm so comfortable!

443
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:59,038
- Well, only the best
       for you, my dear.

444
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,374
- Yet they didn't want it?

445
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:05,444
- Oh, I think they just felt
         sorry for us.

446
00:19:05,446 --> 00:19:07,980
- Well, that seems strange,
             John.

447
00:19:07,982 --> 00:19:11,417
Especially since Jocelyn paid
       over $200 for it.

448
00:19:11,419 --> 00:19:12,885
- You know what I think,
  I think they tried it out,

449
00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:15,120
and uh, it just didn't
        work for them.

450
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,960
- And by tried it out,
          you mean...

451
00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:27,366
- I mean they... tried it out.

452
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:30,636
- Eww! Oh God! No! Oh! Oh!

453
00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:36,575
Oh God, that's memory foam,
             John!

454
00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:38,944
- Oh Moira, we've stayed
     at Kennedy compound,

455
00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:40,546
- Oh!
- This can't be any worse than that!

456
00:19:40,548 --> 00:19:42,247
- The Kennedys aren't Roland!

457
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,850
The Kennedys have regular
  medicals, daily laundering!

458
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,186
- This has gotta be better
    than the motel mattress

459
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:51,023
we were using, I mean,
 who knows who tried that out!

460
00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:53,158
- Is that supposed to be
         helping me?!

461
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,961
- Moira, this is a $50 dollar
       gift from heaven.

462
00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:58,530
I mean, look, hey!

463
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:01,900
I don't feel any springs,
      no nails, no bolts!

464
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:04,870
It's comfy, come to bed.

465
00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,505
- Tomorrow we get
       a mattress cover.

466
00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:09,274
- Yes, yes, that's the spirit.

467
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,576
- Oh...

468
00:20:13,214 --> 00:20:14,746
Oh!
             - Mm!

469
00:20:17,218 --> 00:20:19,118
Ahh...

470
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:23,589
Seriously, don't think
           about it.

471
00:20:28,329 --> 00:20:29,495
ALEXIS: Okay, so you have
      to keep it upright.

472
00:20:29,497 --> 00:20:30,963
- I don't even wanna do this!

473
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,397
- David, you're gonna feel
      so good, trust me.

474
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,899
- Oh my God, you know
        that I have bad

475
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,467
foot-eye coordination,
    you didn't have to wear

476
00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:37,603
corrective leg braces
       for three months.

477
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:39,805
- You can't blame everything on
having been pigeon-toed, David.

478
00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:41,240
- Oh my God! JOHNNY: Kids,
your mother and I are gonna--

479
00:20:41,242 --> 00:20:43,642
Oh my God, David,
     what are you doing?!

480
00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:45,677
- I'm teaching him
      how to ride a bike!

481
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,080
- Oh please don't, you know I
can't stand the sight of blood.

482
00:20:48,082 --> 00:20:49,815
- Seriously son,
  you're gonna hurt yourself!

483
00:20:49,817 --> 00:20:51,717
- David, it is one foot
         on the pedal,

484
00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,552
and one foot on the ground, and
then get the hell out of here!

485
00:20:53,554 --> 00:20:54,820
Okay?
- I don't know what that means.

486
00:20:54,822 --> 00:20:56,655
- Okay, I'm gonna hold
           the back.

487
00:20:56,657 --> 00:20:57,556
- Aah!
- He's coming, come on, come on!

488
00:20:57,558 --> 00:21:00,159
- Oh, okay- aah!
           Aah! Aah!

489
00:21:00,161 --> 00:21:02,394
ALEXIS: David, the pedals make
         it move more!

490
00:21:02,396 --> 00:21:04,730
- John, he's doing it!
    - You're doing it, son!

491
00:21:07,902 --> 00:21:08,500
- Oh my God.

492
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,405
- Yay! (Clapping)
        - Woo hoo hoo!

493
00:21:13,407 --> 00:21:15,240
- Hey, someone get my camera!

494
00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:17,943
DAVID: Nobody get a camera!
   STEVIE: David! Over here!

495
00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:18,744
(Camera clicks)