1 00:00:01,337 --> 00:00:03,375 (JOHNNY READING) 2 00:00:15,865 --> 00:00:17,169 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 3 00:00:18,905 --> 00:00:20,975 Don't judge me for what I'm about to ask you to do. 4 00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:22,579 Come inside, please. 5 00:00:22,613 --> 00:00:24,983 -What're you about to do? -It does not matter. It doesn't matter. 6 00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:26,521 What? 7 00:00:27,556 --> 00:00:28,658 That. 8 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,029 That's why you called me in here? 9 00:00:31,063 --> 00:00:32,399 Yeah, look at it. 10 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,403 -I'm looking. -No, look at it. 11 00:00:34,437 --> 00:00:36,341 Uh, it looks like a bug... 12 00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:38,445 -Yeah. -Trapped under a glass. 13 00:00:38,478 --> 00:00:40,715 I googled that bug. It's some sort of demonic cricket 14 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,155 that takes chunks out of your skin when provoked. 15 00:00:43,188 --> 00:00:45,325 "Chunks" is the word that Google used. 16 00:00:45,359 --> 00:00:46,661 -You googled a bug? -Yeah. 17 00:00:46,694 --> 00:00:49,567 I have a thing about bugs with milky exoskeletons. 18 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,937 I have this irrational fear, they are gonna crawl into my mouth 19 00:00:51,971 --> 00:00:53,608 and nest at night, so... 20 00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:55,679 So what do you want me to do, kill it? 21 00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:58,251 (SIGHS) No, I think I just need moral support 22 00:00:58,285 --> 00:01:01,624 while I slip a piece of paper under the glass with the bug, 23 00:01:01,657 --> 00:01:04,530 and take the trapped bug and walk it outside. 24 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,100 Or we could just kill it. 25 00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,669 No, that's not the way to go. 26 00:01:07,703 --> 00:01:09,240 -Oh, my God! It's fleeing! -(INSECT SCUTTLING) 27 00:01:09,273 --> 00:01:11,377 -It's fast! -It's fleeing into the bathroom! 28 00:01:11,411 --> 00:01:13,181 That's why you use the cup method, 29 00:01:13,215 --> 00:01:14,883 because you'd keep it contained! 30 00:01:14,917 --> 00:01:16,621 Now it's just all out! 31 00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:19,126 Well, I guess I don't even need to be here. 32 00:01:19,159 --> 00:01:20,729 Oh, It's hi... 33 00:01:20,762 --> 00:01:23,535 Now it's hiding somewhere in the darkness waiting for nightfall. 34 00:01:23,568 --> 00:01:27,074 (STAMMERING) I can't sleep here. I can't sleep here. 35 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:28,578 Not with your mouth open anyway. 36 00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:32,118 That's not a nice thing to say to me. 37 00:01:32,152 --> 00:01:35,090 You know, sometimes I forget what life was like before I knew you. 38 00:01:35,124 --> 00:01:36,894 Okay, bye-bye! Bye. 39 00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:39,267 -Yup. -Okay. Hope you catch it. 40 00:01:41,371 --> 00:01:44,008 I can hear it. I can hear it. 41 00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:52,926 (SHOWER RUNNING) 42 00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,630 (SHOWER TURNS OFF) 43 00:01:56,434 --> 00:01:58,036 MOIRA: What the hell? 44 00:01:58,069 --> 00:02:00,073 Hey, where's my towel? 45 00:02:00,909 --> 00:02:02,813 John? 46 00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:06,019 (SHOUTING) Johnny! Where's my towel? 47 00:02:06,052 --> 00:02:08,791 Anyways, I asked this kid to come to the front of the class 48 00:02:08,825 --> 00:02:10,395 and solve this math equation 49 00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:12,232 and he was pitching a tent. 50 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,068 (LAUGHS) 51 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,539 -He had a boner. -Ah. 52 00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:19,513 And then I was thinking, these are young boys, these poor kids, 53 00:02:19,547 --> 00:02:22,919 and it can't be easy having a teacher like myself... 54 00:02:22,953 --> 00:02:24,121 -Hmm. -so... 55 00:02:24,857 --> 00:02:26,293 What was your question, again? 56 00:02:26,327 --> 00:02:28,831 You know, it's been so long I can't remember. 57 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:33,307 There you are, John! Where did my towel go? 58 00:02:33,341 --> 00:02:35,979 Moira! Nanaimo bars. 59 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:39,085 Accidentally doubled the batch and Roland's on diabetes watch, 60 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,190 so I thought, why not share the wealth? 61 00:02:41,223 --> 00:02:43,294 Well, what a lovely gesture, huh, Moira? 62 00:02:43,327 --> 00:02:46,934 John, I had a towel and now it's disappeared! 63 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,771 There's a towel on the back of the door. 64 00:02:48,805 --> 00:02:50,107 No, that one has dirt on it! 65 00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:52,245 That's not dirt, I used it to kill a bug. 66 00:02:53,146 --> 00:02:54,550 (SHRIEKING) 67 00:02:56,587 --> 00:02:57,956 I'm sorry. 68 00:02:57,989 --> 00:03:00,995 (STUTTERING) I guess I'm stressed. 69 00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:03,133 Morning, Jocelyn! 70 00:03:04,637 --> 00:03:06,607 You know, Moira, 71 00:03:06,641 --> 00:03:08,945 if you ever need to just go somewhere 72 00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:11,250 to unwind and have some pampering, 73 00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:13,354 I know a great place in Elmdale. 74 00:03:13,387 --> 00:03:14,857 Let's not and say we did. 75 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,696 You know, honey, a little pampering might not be a bad idea, 76 00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:20,869 could alleviate some of that, uh, weight you're carrying around. 77 00:03:22,372 --> 00:03:25,311 So now I'm fat and stressed? 78 00:03:26,814 --> 00:03:28,718 Emotional weight. Emotional. 79 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:31,757 John, go find a towel now, please, 80 00:03:31,791 --> 00:03:34,128 or I will strip out of this robe 81 00:03:34,161 --> 00:03:37,536 and I will air dry in the street! 82 00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:40,241 -Okay, well, I'm just gonna go home. Sorry. -No, no, no. 83 00:03:40,274 --> 00:03:43,179 I didn't say I didn't want them. Thank you. 84 00:03:43,213 --> 00:03:44,349 (DOOR CLOSES) 85 00:03:44,382 --> 00:03:46,587 A little pampering. Great idea. 86 00:03:46,621 --> 00:03:48,290 -I think so, yeah. -Yeah. 87 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,141 Hey, Twy. 88 00:03:58,109 --> 00:03:59,412 (EXHALES) 89 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,452 Um, Twy... 90 00:04:02,485 --> 00:04:06,293 What is in the "meadow harvest" smoothie? 91 00:04:06,326 --> 00:04:10,067 Ah, you know, it changes every day. Just depends on my mood. 92 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:12,873 But it's all organic, earthy ingredients. 93 00:04:12,906 --> 00:04:15,210 Okay, so it's like fruity or... 94 00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,749 Yes, it is. Yup. At times. 95 00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:20,421 And then other times, not. 96 00:04:20,454 --> 00:04:24,296 Okay! Well, today, is it more fruity or more vegetably... 97 00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:25,565 You know, I don't know. 98 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,869 I've gotta check in the back and see what we have. 99 00:04:27,903 --> 00:04:31,476 So "meadow harvest" doesn't refer to anything in particular. 100 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:35,183 No, meadow harvest is exactly how it sounds. 101 00:04:35,217 --> 00:04:36,587 It just changes every day. 102 00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:39,326 Okay. All right. 103 00:04:39,359 --> 00:04:43,166 Well, I'll just, um, do that then, the meadow harvest thing. 104 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,970 -Great. -Thank you. 105 00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:48,410 Hi. 106 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,617 Hi. 107 00:04:51,651 --> 00:04:54,021 Um, I just feel like I have to warn you, 108 00:04:54,055 --> 00:04:57,829 what you just ordered is gonna run through you like Niagara Falls. 109 00:04:57,863 --> 00:04:58,931 Excuse me? 110 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,472 She's a sweet girl but her smoothies are deadly. 111 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:04,442 Um, I usually prescribe them to my patients 112 00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:06,580 when they're feeling a little backed up. 113 00:05:06,613 --> 00:05:08,718 That's a lot of information. (CHUCKLES) 114 00:05:08,751 --> 00:05:10,989 I'm kidding. 115 00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:13,728 I'm actually not. I've absolutely done that with her smoothies. 116 00:05:14,963 --> 00:05:17,034 So are you a doctor or... 117 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,570 I'm a veterinarian. 118 00:05:18,604 --> 00:05:20,775 Oh. It's basically the same thing. 119 00:05:21,175 --> 00:05:22,345 Ted. 120 00:05:22,378 --> 00:05:23,447 Um, Alexis. 121 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,285 I know. Without sounding too forward, 122 00:05:26,319 --> 00:05:28,490 -I've seen you around... -(BOTH CHUCKLE) 123 00:05:28,524 --> 00:05:30,561 and, uh, you know, I have to say, 124 00:05:30,594 --> 00:05:34,101 I think that you are the most beautiful girl this town's ever seen. 125 00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:35,939 -What? No. -(BLENDER WHIRRING) 126 00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:39,512 I'm sure there's, like, another girl somewhere. 127 00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,416 -No, I mean it. -(WHIRRING STOPS) 128 00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:44,221 Yeah. Well, that's really nice of you to say. 129 00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:48,497 I would love to take you out to dinner sometime. 130 00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,701 -Uh... -I feel good about this one. 131 00:05:50,735 --> 00:05:54,409 Yeah, it's a little less fruity but a little more something. 132 00:05:56,446 --> 00:05:57,783 Mmm. 133 00:05:59,218 --> 00:06:00,220 Mmm. 134 00:06:02,458 --> 00:06:03,795 (MUFFLED CHUCKLE) 135 00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:05,498 (SPITS) 136 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,203 (MOUTHING) 137 00:06:11,811 --> 00:06:15,651 So, about the bug thing. 138 00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:18,858 No explanation necessary. You've got a thing about bugs. 139 00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:20,494 No, I don't have a thing about bugs. 140 00:06:20,528 --> 00:06:22,966 It was one bug, and that bug was milky. 141 00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:25,370 So, you're a man at one with nature. 142 00:06:25,404 --> 00:06:27,207 Yeah. I could not be more at one with nature. 143 00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:29,345 I do Coachella every year, so... 144 00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:31,650 Oh! So you'd be into coming with me 145 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,155 on the annual turkey shoot then? 146 00:06:34,188 --> 00:06:36,894 That's something that should excite you. 147 00:06:37,495 --> 00:06:39,031 What? 148 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,768 The turkey shoot? 149 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:44,442 -Mmm. -Roland's annual thing. We go out and we hunt turkeys. 150 00:06:45,343 --> 00:06:46,881 Been doing it every year since I was 151 00:06:46,914 --> 00:06:48,349 far too young to be holding a gun. 152 00:06:49,385 --> 00:06:51,022 Yeah. Yes. 153 00:06:51,857 --> 00:06:53,527 Yeah. Let's do that. 154 00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:55,899 I was joking. 155 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:58,236 I have a strong feeling that would not be your thing. 156 00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:02,211 And what do think my thing is exactly? 157 00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:04,816 High thread count sheets? Colognes that smell like fireplace... 158 00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:06,453 Okay. Well, it might surprise you to know 159 00:07:06,486 --> 00:07:08,023 that I have more than one thing, 160 00:07:08,056 --> 00:07:11,329 so I will happily go with you on the hunt. 161 00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:14,168 Nothing would make me more excited than to... 162 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,905 Go hunting for... 163 00:07:15,939 --> 00:07:19,211 -Turkeys. -Turkeys with you, so... 164 00:07:19,245 --> 00:07:22,752 Is this a tweed or a camo situation? 165 00:07:25,423 --> 00:07:30,634 Okay, did anyone actually see this pillow come out of this container? 166 00:07:30,668 --> 00:07:34,008 Seriously? Go to hell! 167 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,578 You're a fool! 168 00:07:35,611 --> 00:07:37,314 Okay, Moira, why are we doing this? 169 00:07:37,347 --> 00:07:40,253 Why don't we wait for the girl to come in and help us make the bed? 170 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,291 She never comes, John! 171 00:07:42,324 --> 00:07:43,794 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 172 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:46,566 -(JOHNNY SIGHS) -No. Bastard. 173 00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,038 -Bastard! -Jocelyn. 174 00:07:49,071 --> 00:07:50,107 -Johnny. -Hi. 175 00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:51,843 Good, you're here, Moira. 176 00:07:51,876 --> 00:07:55,484 I was just booking myself an appointment with Janine at the salon, 177 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,822 and I said to myself, "Wow! 178 00:07:57,855 --> 00:08:00,628 "Moira really looks like she needs a pick-me-up," 179 00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:02,898 (CHUCKLES) so I booked you a mani too! 180 00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:05,237 Little girls spa day on me. 181 00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:08,476 Wow! What a nice gesture. 182 00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:11,415 May I see a spa treatment menu? 183 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,989 Oh, well, it's just a salon, so they don't really do all that kind of stuff. 184 00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,928 But she does give a mean scalp massage. 185 00:08:17,962 --> 00:08:19,198 Really mean? 186 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,938 If you requested that, I guess, yeah. 187 00:08:22,972 --> 00:08:25,310 Moira, this sounds too good to pass up. 188 00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:28,850 Please, please do this, for me. 189 00:08:29,485 --> 00:08:30,821 Let me rephrase that. 190 00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:32,892 Do it for you because you deserve... 191 00:08:32,925 --> 00:08:35,631 Yes! My answer's yes, Jocelyn. Thank you. 192 00:08:35,664 --> 00:08:37,033 -Yay! -(SIGHS) Oh, yes. 193 00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:41,710 So, what're you doing tonight? 194 00:08:43,113 --> 00:08:45,984 Making chili. Might do some laundry. 195 00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,736 A polite person would now ask me what I'm doing tonight. 196 00:08:56,205 --> 00:08:58,944 That's what this is about? Sorry. 197 00:08:58,977 --> 00:09:00,848 Um. What're you doing tonight? 198 00:09:00,881 --> 00:09:02,184 Ted's taking me out. 199 00:09:02,217 --> 00:09:03,386 Ted? 200 00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:05,390 Mm-hmm. Ted. 201 00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:08,163 I don't know his last name. The, uh... The, um, doctor. 202 00:09:09,097 --> 00:09:10,267 The vet? 203 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,402 Yeah, the doctor. 204 00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:13,940 The animal doctor. 205 00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:16,044 Yeah, we went to high school together. 206 00:09:18,717 --> 00:09:20,420 I think you'd be good for each other. 207 00:09:20,988 --> 00:09:22,992 Do you? 208 00:09:23,025 --> 00:09:26,399 I think he has everything you're looking for in a husband. 209 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,536 A husband? 210 00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:31,041 What am I looking for in a husband? 211 00:09:32,244 --> 00:09:33,446 Money. 212 00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:37,588 Hmm. 213 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:46,372 Did you know Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany? 214 00:09:46,405 --> 00:09:48,710 So Ted's taking me to Antonio's. 215 00:09:48,744 --> 00:09:50,112 What's Antonio's? 216 00:09:50,146 --> 00:09:53,185 It's this little buffet restaurant in Elmdale. 217 00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:55,390 But he said that we could order off the menu. 218 00:09:55,423 --> 00:09:57,527 Are you sure you wanna be traveling so far out of town 219 00:09:57,561 --> 00:09:58,930 with a person you just met? 220 00:09:58,964 --> 00:10:01,168 I went on a blind date to Bali with Leo, 221 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,541 so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be fine. 222 00:10:05,377 --> 00:10:07,213 So who is this person? 223 00:10:07,247 --> 00:10:08,617 Mmm. He's cute. 224 00:10:09,518 --> 00:10:10,654 And? 225 00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:11,756 And... 226 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,125 He doesn't have a trust fund, 227 00:10:13,158 --> 00:10:16,800 so that's, like, a refreshing change of pace for me. 228 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,569 Speaking of people without trust funds, 229 00:10:18,603 --> 00:10:20,708 what about that beardy thing that you spend time with? 230 00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:21,976 -What, Mutt? -Yeah. 231 00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:23,880 No. Eww. It's not a thing. 232 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,383 -Right. -TED: (OUTSIDE) I'm looking for Alexis. 233 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,489 JOHNNY: Oh. You have a... What? A thing with Alexis tonight? 234 00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:30,694 -TED: Uh, a date. -I think that's Ted. 235 00:10:31,595 --> 00:10:32,665 Why is he over there? 236 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,200 Because he knows how much I love it when 237 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,671 Mom and Dad interrogate your boyfriends. 238 00:10:35,704 --> 00:10:37,474 -I wonder what they're asking. -No, David! 239 00:10:37,507 --> 00:10:39,578 Tell me, Ted, are your parents still together? 240 00:10:39,611 --> 00:10:41,382 Uh, no. They divorced when I was in high school. 241 00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:42,985 Oh. Alcoholism. 242 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,658 No, I think they just realized that they were better off as friends. 243 00:10:45,691 --> 00:10:47,895 -JOHNNY: Huh. -(CLICKS TONGUE) Affair. Poor thing. 244 00:10:47,928 --> 00:10:50,400 Okay. That's enough, everybody. Thank you so much. 245 00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:51,903 Hey. Hey, got the wrong room. Hi. 246 00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:53,238 -Yeah, you did. Okay. -Yeah. 247 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:55,477 Hey, I know you! 248 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,017 Yeah, no, Stevie brought you in to see me. 249 00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:01,856 I had the pleasure of treating your son's panic attack. 250 00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:05,196 So Antonio's Buffet, huh? 251 00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,100 So many choices, one little plate. 252 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:11,074 Okay, you know what? Bye, guys. We'll see you in the morning. 253 00:11:11,108 --> 00:11:13,546 "In the morning." Very funny, Alexis! 254 00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:15,483 Don't even think about it, ain't gonna happen. 255 00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:17,487 -Ted, not on the first date. -Yes, sir. 256 00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:20,192 Don't wanna kill the buzz, but have fun. 257 00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:23,365 Alexis seems to have found someone to keep her busy. 258 00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:24,936 What about you, David? 259 00:11:24,969 --> 00:11:27,641 I'm gonna go to bed. I have to be up early. 260 00:11:27,674 --> 00:11:30,781 I stupidly agreed to go hunting with Stevie tomorrow. 261 00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:32,216 -Hunting? -Yeah. 262 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,619 -Hunting? -Yeah. 263 00:11:33,653 --> 00:11:34,922 You said hunting? 264 00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:36,793 Yeah. 265 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,136 Wow. 266 00:11:44,475 --> 00:11:46,011 (ALARM BEEPING) 267 00:11:47,447 --> 00:11:48,449 (SIGHS) 268 00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,453 Ahh! 269 00:11:50,487 --> 00:11:51,856 -It's me! -Who is it? 270 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,493 It's your father! 271 00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:55,096 What're you doing lurking in our bedroom? 272 00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:56,900 -I'm not lurking in your room. -(BEEPING CONTINUES) 273 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,906 Your alarm is going off. You're not turning off your alarm! 274 00:11:59,939 --> 00:12:01,910 Shoot. 275 00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:05,249 You know, I'm telling you, I'm not comfortable with you going hunting. 276 00:12:05,282 --> 00:12:07,120 I don't feel comfortable with it either! 277 00:12:07,153 --> 00:12:10,560 End this now. Thank you. 278 00:12:10,593 --> 00:12:11,830 (SIGHS) 279 00:12:11,863 --> 00:12:13,666 -All right, just be careful, please. -Okay, thank you. 280 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,505 You and your nightgown can tippy-toe back to bed. I'm late. 281 00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:24,054 (SIGHING) 282 00:12:32,036 --> 00:12:33,573 You ever killed before? 283 00:12:34,507 --> 00:12:37,246 Have I ever killed before? 284 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,850 No. 285 00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:41,221 Elton John used to have an annual hunt at his place in Windsor, 286 00:12:41,254 --> 00:12:42,892 but that was more about the lunch. 287 00:12:42,925 --> 00:12:44,929 Turkey virgin! 288 00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:50,039 Does this come in a slimmer cut? 289 00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:52,410 Here. You can take this one. 290 00:12:52,443 --> 00:12:54,615 It has a scope so you can see the head. 291 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:58,522 Okay! Gather round, my shooters. 292 00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:00,894 Bob has a little prayer here he'd like to offer up. 293 00:13:00,928 --> 00:13:04,500 Just a little convo with the big man upstairs for a second. 294 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,104 It happens every year. 295 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,112 Our God, in these times of need, 296 00:13:11,615 --> 00:13:13,954 our light in these times of darkness... 297 00:13:13,987 --> 00:13:15,589 David, do you wanna... 298 00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:23,138 So is it, like, a small town thing 299 00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:26,011 to end the first date with a kiss on the cheek? 300 00:13:27,413 --> 00:13:28,515 What? 301 00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:29,986 Nothing. 302 00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,456 What? It's not like it was a bad date or anything. 303 00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,096 (SARCASTICALLY) It sounds like things got crazy. 304 00:13:35,129 --> 00:13:37,000 Yeah. I actually introduced him to Beyonce 305 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,805 in the car ride on the way home, so that was very special. 306 00:13:40,874 --> 00:13:43,880 It's just, if the date's a success with me, 307 00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,382 I'll let you know it. 308 00:13:46,418 --> 00:13:47,553 Okay. 309 00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:48,756 (VEHICLE APPROACHING) 310 00:13:51,494 --> 00:13:53,365 I mean, he might as well have shaken your hand. 311 00:13:53,398 --> 00:13:55,069 Well, he did that too. 312 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,671 -Hey. -Hey. 313 00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:58,910 I thought that you could use a proper smoothie. 314 00:13:58,944 --> 00:14:02,483 Well, lucky for you, we're just finishing up. 315 00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:10,934 Eh... Hey, Mutt. Do you want a ride? 316 00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:13,038 -I'm good. -Are you sure? It's a long walk. 317 00:14:13,072 --> 00:14:14,340 I like walking. 318 00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:16,211 Suit yourself, bud. 319 00:14:16,244 --> 00:14:18,515 So you don't mind wrapping up? 320 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,258 ALEXIS: Bye! 321 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,706 So how are your bowels? Good and tight? 322 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,676 Yes. Thank you for the concern. 323 00:14:32,710 --> 00:14:34,882 Well, I just wanna make sure you got the stomach for this 324 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:38,488 'cause you kinda seem like an indoors-y sort of guy to me. 325 00:14:38,522 --> 00:14:41,461 -Mm-hmm. -You know, delicate. Fragile. 326 00:14:42,730 --> 00:14:44,300 -Scrimpy. -Thank you. 327 00:14:47,306 --> 00:14:48,843 Okay, get down. 328 00:14:51,781 --> 00:14:52,783 (GROANS) 329 00:14:54,754 --> 00:14:56,558 You ever held a gun before? 330 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:59,230 Uh, yeah, but it wasn't this heavy, 331 00:14:59,264 --> 00:15:02,003 which makes me think that Elton's was actually a toy. 332 00:15:02,036 --> 00:15:06,244 All right, you gotta treat it like it's a newborn baby. 333 00:15:06,278 --> 00:15:10,419 Have to admit, not into babies so it's kind of a guessing game for me. 334 00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:12,925 Oh, you got soft hands. 335 00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:14,694 Okay, thank you. Thanks. 336 00:15:14,727 --> 00:15:16,398 You don't have to do this. 337 00:15:16,431 --> 00:15:18,335 Do what? Have fun? 338 00:15:19,537 --> 00:15:22,543 Smell like manure? Get called "scrimpy"? 339 00:15:22,576 --> 00:15:24,314 Who wouldn't wanna sign up for this? 340 00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:25,382 Yeah. 341 00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:32,897 Oh, oh, uh... 342 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,467 Jocelyn, would you grab us a table 343 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,971 while I speak with my husband, please. 344 00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:37,306 Well, he should join us. 345 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:41,548 -And between you and me, people are noticing you! -(CHUCKLES) 346 00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:50,166 (MOCK ACCENT) Excuse me, cowboy, have you seen my husband? 347 00:15:50,899 --> 00:15:53,072 Oh, my God. 348 00:15:53,105 --> 00:15:54,407 Ho ho hoo hoo! 349 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,713 Look at you. Boy, you look like... 350 00:15:57,746 --> 00:15:59,184 Who? Who do I look like? 351 00:15:59,217 --> 00:16:01,388 I wanna say Tonya Harding. 352 00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:02,923 Do you? How about... 353 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,466 -Jocelyn. -Mmm. 354 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:11,608 Oh, my God, that's right. Why Jocelyn? 355 00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:13,578 Because everyone who comes out of that salon 356 00:16:13,612 --> 00:16:15,182 looks just like Jocelyn. 357 00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:16,284 Wow. 358 00:16:16,318 --> 00:16:19,290 And is that you? Is that your wig? 359 00:16:19,324 --> 00:16:20,759 No, it's a dead possum. 360 00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:23,232 Yes, it's a wig, John. Is she still looking at us? 361 00:16:25,936 --> 00:16:28,875 Yes, she is. Yes. 362 00:16:28,908 --> 00:16:31,514 So what happened? I can't believe you're wearing this. 363 00:16:31,548 --> 00:16:33,552 This is what I get for being nice, John. 364 00:16:33,585 --> 00:16:35,989 I'm doing this for Jocelyn because she paid for it, 365 00:16:36,024 --> 00:16:39,597 and it was her little treat, and I didn't have the heart to rip it off my head, 366 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,334 -much less torch it. -Oh. 367 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,936 So, now, until I get in the shower, 368 00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:46,611 I'm stuck looking like every other inmate in this godforsaken prison. 369 00:16:46,644 --> 00:16:49,717 -She's coming over. I just told a joke. -You did? 370 00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:51,554 -(BOTH LAUGHING) -You did! 371 00:16:51,588 --> 00:16:54,294 What do you think of your beautiful wife? 372 00:16:54,327 --> 00:16:58,835 -Well, which beautiful wife are we talking about here? -Oh! (CHUCKLES) 373 00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:03,044 I can't tell you how freeing it is, Jocelyn, 374 00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:06,016 to try something new like this. 375 00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:08,222 'Tis. I mean, of course, as an actress, 376 00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:11,761 I can imagine what kind of sad character might... 377 00:17:11,794 --> 00:17:12,963 But not necessarily... 378 00:17:12,996 --> 00:17:14,134 Sad? 379 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,171 You think this is a sad look? 380 00:17:16,204 --> 00:17:17,306 -No. -No. 381 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,310 -Not the look. No, Jocelyn, -(SCOFFS) 382 00:17:19,344 --> 00:17:22,683 I'm talking about the inner sadness that would come from... 383 00:17:22,716 --> 00:17:24,320 From living in such a... 384 00:17:25,722 --> 00:17:27,926 We have to get drinks. Several drinks. 385 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,330 Don't you think? Let's celebrate! 386 00:17:29,364 --> 00:17:32,270 Let's celebrate drinking! 387 00:17:32,303 --> 00:17:33,738 Okay. (CHUCKLES) 388 00:17:33,772 --> 00:17:35,108 -Okay, David, -(TURKEY GOBBLING) 389 00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:37,913 it's all yours, aim for the face. 390 00:17:37,946 --> 00:17:39,184 (HUSHED) It's looking at me. 391 00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:42,190 Ahh! That's it. You're locked in. It's just you and him. 392 00:17:43,124 --> 00:17:44,260 Okay. 393 00:17:44,794 --> 00:17:45,862 (SHARP INHALE) 394 00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:47,200 Just point and shoot, David! 395 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,435 Hard to do when you're talking, Bob. 396 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:49,604 There's no one talking now. 397 00:17:49,637 --> 00:17:50,806 -Bob, you're talking. -What? 398 00:17:50,839 --> 00:17:52,410 -Stop talking! -Too much talking. 399 00:17:52,443 --> 00:17:53,912 Shoot the bird, David! Shoot it. 400 00:17:53,945 --> 00:17:55,816 Honestly, if you're not gonna shoot it, I'm going to... 401 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:01,494 (GASPS) 402 00:18:01,528 --> 00:18:02,996 And in the neck. 403 00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:04,434 It's still moving. 404 00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:06,571 Just let it bleed out. 405 00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:08,642 You okay? 406 00:18:08,675 --> 00:18:11,147 I feel like one of the Manson girls. 407 00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:13,083 First one's tough. 408 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:14,687 Even tougher when you shoot it in the neck 409 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,224 'cause then it takes longer to die. 410 00:18:16,258 --> 00:18:17,926 Okay, not helping, Ronnie. 411 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,597 So, now what? Do we just... 412 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:22,970 Wait until its turkey family comes and shoot them too? 413 00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:25,476 Hey. I think I see them. 414 00:18:25,509 --> 00:18:26,911 -No, no. -(TURKEYS GOBBLING) 415 00:18:26,944 --> 00:18:28,114 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 416 00:18:28,147 --> 00:18:30,151 MOIRA: Yes! Heard you. 417 00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:34,627 -Jocelyn! -Hi. 418 00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:36,464 -Hi. -I just wanted to say 419 00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:38,602 how fun it was to spend the day with you. 420 00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:41,774 Oh, Jocelyn, 'tis I who owes you a big thank you. 421 00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:45,782 I also wanted to apologize for Janine ruining your wig. 422 00:18:45,816 --> 00:18:47,219 No, don't be silly. I was... 423 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,890 I was about to find a shower cap. 424 00:18:49,924 --> 00:18:52,463 I know you hate your hair, Moira. 425 00:18:52,496 --> 00:18:55,336 Almost as much as you hate this town. 426 00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:59,410 But there's a possibility you could be here a really long time. 427 00:18:59,444 --> 00:19:01,981 May I offer you something? 428 00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:05,356 The people here are just trying to help you, 429 00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:08,562 and there'll be days when your wigs need conditioning, 430 00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:12,101 or one of your fashion-y blouses shrinks in the dryer, 431 00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:14,674 and you'll have to go to Janine's 432 00:19:14,707 --> 00:19:17,179 or get a shirt at the Blouse Barn 433 00:19:17,212 --> 00:19:19,115 just like the rest of us. 434 00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:22,456 And I would hate for that day to catch you by surprise. 435 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:25,160 I don't hate this town, Jocelyn. 436 00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:28,902 It's just not mine, and this is not my hair. 437 00:19:29,604 --> 00:19:31,240 I know. It's a wig. 438 00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:33,110 It's not my style. (CHUCKLES) 439 00:19:33,878 --> 00:19:35,882 You? On you, it's adorable. 440 00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:40,592 You have a look that says, "Hi. I'm Jocelyn, and I know who I am!" 441 00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:43,231 For that, you're very fortunate. You are. 442 00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:46,237 I don't who I am from one moment to the next. 443 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:49,877 So honestly, dear, I envy you, all right? 444 00:19:50,946 --> 00:19:52,650 But if you ever, 445 00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:56,724 ever catch me shopping at the Blouse Barn, 446 00:19:56,758 --> 00:19:59,396 you must shoot me in the temple. 447 00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:00,666 Promise? 448 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,803 Promise. 449 00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:05,007 My son is hunting right now with your husband, 450 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,245 so I know you people have guns. 451 00:20:11,554 --> 00:20:14,058 What about what we just did makes you think, 452 00:20:14,092 --> 00:20:17,600 "Yeah, you know what? I wanna do this year after year after year"? 453 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:21,641 Was it the lying in the mud part or was it wearing the clothes 454 00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:24,847 that smell like menthol cigarettes and body odor? 455 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,918 'Cause usually it's more fun. 456 00:20:26,951 --> 00:20:29,690 Usually Ray comes and gets wasted, 457 00:20:29,724 --> 00:20:32,362 and spends the whole day singing Carole King ballads. 458 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:34,032 MOIRA: David, I... 459 00:20:34,065 --> 00:20:36,102 Need a towel, please. 460 00:20:36,136 --> 00:20:39,343 Is that a new wig? Because you are reminding me of someone. 461 00:20:39,376 --> 00:20:40,579 Towel, please. 462 00:20:40,612 --> 00:20:44,085 I need my towels. What... Who did this to you? 463 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,789 You went to Janine's. 464 00:20:45,822 --> 00:20:47,760 Yes. Jocelyn took me to... 465 00:20:47,793 --> 00:20:50,465 Jocelyn. You look like Jocelyn. (CHUCKLES) 466 00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,836 Jocelyn. And what's your excuse? 467 00:20:53,772 --> 00:20:54,974 Oh, um... 468 00:20:55,007 --> 00:20:56,778 I shot a bird in the neck today. 469 00:20:56,811 --> 00:20:59,750 It was an indelible image that I had scarred in my mind 470 00:20:59,784 --> 00:21:02,690 until I saw what was happening up there with you. 471 00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:04,526 So thank you. 472 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,935 I'm gonna get your towel. 473 00:21:14,112 --> 00:21:15,047 (SIGHS)