♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR JOINING US.
AND LOOK, I KNOW I NORMALLY SAY
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK, BUT TO BE
HONEST, THIS ONE'S BEEN A BIT
SLOW.
A NEW STUDY SUGGESTED THAT
T-REXES HAD LIPS, THE SOAP OPERA
"THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS"
CELEBRATED 50 YEARS ON
TELEVISION, DONALD TRUMP BECAME
THE FIRST-EVER FORMER PRESIDENT
TO BE INDICTED ON CRIMINAL
CHARGES, AND A PHOTO OF THE POPE
WEARING A BIG, POOFY JACKET WENT
VIRAL BEFORE IT WAS REVEALED TO
BE FAKE.
SO, PRETTY QUIET IN GENERAL.
AND LOOK, I'D TALK MORE ABOUT
THE TRUMP INDICTMENT IF WE EVEN
KNEW WHAT THE EXACT CHARGES WERE
RIGHT NOW, BUT WE DON'T.
SO INSTEAD, LET'S START WITH
FRANCE.
EUROPE'S HIGH SCHOOL BULLY.
FOR WEEKS NOW, FRANCE HAS BEEN
IN TURMOIL.
FIRES ACROSS FRANCE.
ONE PROTESTER TELLING US, "THIS
IS A WAR."
HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS TAKING TO
THE STREETS.
THE HISTORIC UNREST SPARKED BY
PRESIDENT MACRON'S PLAN TO RAISE
THE RETIREMENT AGE FROM 62 TO
64, RAMMING THE MEASURES THROUGH
HIS COUNTRY'S LEGISLATURE
WITHOUT A VOTE.
IN PARIS WHERE BINS AND
NEWSPAPER KIOSKS HAVE BEEN SET
ALIGHT SOME FIREFIGHTERS PUT OUT
THE FLAMES.
OTHERS JOINED IN WITH THE
PROTESTERS.
John: IT'S TRUE, PEOPLE ARE
SO PISSED AT WHAT MACRON'S BEEN
DOING THAT FIREFIGHTERS HAVE
STARTED SIDING WITH FIRE INSTEAD
OF HIM.
AND IT'S HONESTLY KIND OF
JARRING TO SEE FIRES IN PARIS
THAT WERE STARTED BY SOMETHING
OTHER THAN THEIR USUAL CAUSE:
THE EXPLOSIVE HEAT GENERATED BY
INA AND JEFFREY'S RELENTLESS
FUCKING AT THEIR PARISIAN
APARTMENT.
NOW, MACRON CLAIMS THAT WITHOUT
THIS MOVE-- WHICH, REMEMBER,
HE'S PUSHED THROUGH WITHOUT A
VOTE-- THE GOVERNMENT WILL
ACCRUE MASSIVE DEFICITS.
BUT HIS OPPONENTS ARGUE THAT
PENSION FUNDING CAN COME FROM
OTHER SOURCES, LIKE RAISING
TAXES ON THE WEALTHY.
AND LOOK, A RETIREMENT AGE OF
62 IS LOW, EVEN BY THE STANDARDS
OF WESTERN NATIONS.
IN GERMANY, THE COMPARABLE
RETIREMENT AGE IS 65.
IN ITALY, IT'S 67.
AND IN THE U.S., THE RETIREMENT
AGE IS "NO."
SO FRANCE IS LUCKY TO HAVE THE
KIND OF BOLD SOCIAL WELFARE
POLICY THAT'S GETTING RARER
NOWADAYS.
BUT THAT'S PROBABLY WHY THEY'RE
FIGHTING SO HARD TO PROTECT IT.
AND I WILL SAY THESE PROTESTS
HAVE BROUGHT OUT MOMENTS THAT
ARE JUST QUINTESSENTIALLY
FRENCH.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS VIRAL
VIDEO FROM FRANCE.
DINERS IN THE CITY OF BORDEAUX
UNFAZED BY DEMONSTRATORS
PROTESTING AGAINST RECENT
CHANGES TO THE RETIREMENT AGE.
EVEN WITH A RAGING FIRE NEARBY,
THESE PEOPLE ARE STILL MANAGING
TO ENJOY THEIR WINE AND
CONVERSATION AT AN OUTDOOR CAFE.
John: WOW, THAT IS ON-BRAND.
I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT,
AFTER A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST, THE
ONLY CREATURES LEFT STANDING
WILL BE COCKROACHES AND AN
OUTLANDISHLY RELAXED,
WINE-SIPPING FRENCH COUPLE
ENTIRELY UNFAZED BY THE
OBLITERATION OF SOCIETY.
AND THE PROTESTORS THEMSELVES
HAVE SOMETIMES BORDERED ON
MAGNIFICENT SELF-PARODY.
♪ ♪
[CHANTING IN A NON-ENGLISH
LANGUAGE]
♪ ♪
John: HOLY SHIT.
SOMEONE CALL UN AMBULANCE.
I THINK I JUST OVERDOSED ON
FRENCHNESS.
THAT'S HONESTLY INTIMIDATING TO
WATCH, BECAUSE SHE'S DOING
EVERYTHING THAT I CAN'T DO.
DANCE, LOOK COOL IN SUNGLASSES,
AND ROCK BANGS.
LITERALLY NOTHING SHE'S DOING
THERE WILL EVER BE POSSIBLE FOR
ME AND IT MAKES ME A LITTLE SAD.
NOW, FRANCE'S CONSTITUTIONAL
COUNCIL IS EXPECTED TO RULE ON
MACRON'S PLAN ON APRIL 14.
BUT HE DOESN'T APPEAR WILLING TO
BACK DOWN IN THE MEANTIME, AS
EVEN THE ONE CONCESSION HIS
GOVERNMENT MADE TO PROTESTORS
WAS PRETTY INSULTING.
THE GOVERNMENT HAS AGREED TO
DIALOGUE, BUT NOT ANY KIND OF
DIALOGUE ABOUT DOING A U-TURN ON
THE POLICY.
THAT, THEY SAY, IS SIMPLY NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
John: HOLD ON, "WE'RE OPEN TO
A DIALOGUE, JUST NOT THE KIND
YOU WANT."
SO WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN TALK
ABOUT?
"SANK YOU PROTESTOURHS FOR
AGREEING TO MEET WIZ ME.
DO YOU THINK SOUP AND STEW OURH
DIFFERAHNT THINGZ?
OR NON?"
THE POINT IS, MACRON MAY NEED TO
RETHINK HIS STRATEGY HERE.
BECAUSE THESE PROTESTORS AREN'T
GOING TO BACK DOWN ANY TIME
SOON.
THE FRENCH PEOPLE ARE CLEARLY
GOING TO KEEP FIGHTING FOR THEIR
QUALITY OF LIFE.
AND IF THIS WEEK IS ANY
INDICATION, THEY'RE GOING TO
LOOK PRETTY FUCKING COOL WHILE
THEY DO IT.
AND NOW, THIS.
Announcer: AND NOW...
THE LAST RIVER OF MORALITY IN
TUCKER CARLSON'S HAD TRIED TO
GIVE HIM ADVICE.
SPEAK ON THE LEFT DOESN'T WANT
TO ANSWER QUESTIONS OR HAVE THE
CONVERSATION.
IT'S DECLARE THE CURRENT
SYSTEM IS GREAT.
NOBODY WANTS TO HAVE THE
DEBATE.
HEY, CRAZY PEOPLE, WHAT ARE
YOU TEACHING MY CHILDREN?
AND OTHER WORDS, SHUT UP
RACISTS.
SHUT UP, RACISTS.
SHUT UP RACISTS.
THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME
FROM.
SHUT UP, RACISTS.
DIVERSITY, RACISM, DIVERSITY,
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP.
SHUT UP, RACISTS.
Diversity, racism, diversity,
SHUT UP, RACISTS.
OKAY.
John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT-- A
PUNISHMENT INFLICTED ON
PRISONERS, PET GOLDFISH, AND OF
COURSE LANCE ARMSTRONG'S
REMAINING TESTICLE.
IT'S IN THERE ALL BY ITSELF!
IT MUST BE SO LONELY.
MOST OF US HAVE A GENERAL IDEA
OF WHAT SOLITARY CONFINEMENT IS,
ALTHOUGH, AS THIS TIK TOK
MAN-ON-THE-STREET INTERVIEW
DEMONSTRATES, OTHERS SEEM A
LITTLE UNSURE.
IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, HOW
MANY PRISONERS ARE IN EACH CELL?
ONE.
WAIT--
HE'S ALONE RIGHT?
YEAH!
IT'S ALONE.
ONE.
IT'S GOTTA BE ONE.
I'M GONNA SAY-- I'M GONNA GO
WITH ONE.
ONE.
FINAL ANSWER.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YES!
John: OKAY.
I'M GLAD THEY GOT IT RIGHT, BUT
IT TOOK THEM AN ALARMING AMOUNT
OF TIME TO TRIPLE-TEAM THAT
ANSWER.
ALTHOUGH THAT DID GIVE ME A
CHANCE TO ABSORB EVERY FASHION
CHOICE THERE.
BECAUSE YOU'D THINK THE BOLDEST
ONE WOULD BE THIS KID WEARING
LIGHT BLUE CROCS WITH A
VIRGINITY ROCKS T-SHIRT, BUT
THEN YOU'D BE IGNORING THAT THIS
ONE'S WEARING HASHTAG SHOES,
THIS ONE'S OUTFIT IS SOMEHOW
BOTH TOO FORMAL AND TOO CASUAL,
AND THIS ONE SEEMINGLY COULDN'T
DECIDE IF HE WAS DRESSING FOR
THE POOL OR GOLF, SO DECIDED ON
BOTH.
VERY BASICALLY EVERY ONE OF
THESE HUMAN RED SOLO CUPS IS
DRESSED INEXCUSABLY WRONG IN
THEIR OWN UNIQUE WAY.
I'M GENUINELY GLAD THEY ALL
FOUND EACH OTHER AND I HOPE TO
NEVER MEET ANY OF THEM UNDER ANY
CIRCUMSTANCES.
THE POINT IS, SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT IS A COMMON ENOUGH
PRACTICE THAT EVEN THOSE BROS
BASICALLY KNOW ABOUT IT.
AND THE FACT IS, IN THIS
COUNTRY, FACILITIES FROM JAILS
AND PRISONS TO IMMIGRATION
DETENTION CENTERS ISOLATE A
MASSIVE NUMBER OF PEOPLE.
A 2016 DOJ REPORT FOUND THAT ON
ANY GIVEN DAY, AN ESTIMATED
90,000 INMATES IN PRISON AND
JAIL ARE HOUSED IN ISOLATION.
AND THAT'S ALMOST CERTAINLY AN
UNDERCOUNT, GIVEN HOW POOR DATA
COLLECTION ON THIS IS.
YET, FOR HOW WIDESPREAD OUR USE
OF SOLITARY IS, SOME OF THOSE IN
CHARGE OF OUR PRISON SYSTEMS
HAVE BEEN WEIRDLY IGNORANT ON
THE PRACTICALITIES OF IT.
TAKE THIS AMAZING EXCHANGE FROM
2014, WHERE THEN-SENATOR
AL FRANKEN ASKED THE THEN-HEAD
OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF PRISONS
A PRETTY SIMPLE QUESTION.
HOW BIG IS A CELL?
HOW BIG IS THE AVERAGE CELL IN
SOLITARY?
YOU SAY THE AVERAGE SIZE?
CELL, YEAH, THE SIZE OF THE
CELL.
HOW BIG IS IT?
WHAT IS-- I'M TRYING TO GET
THIS-- THIS IS A HUMAN THING
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF STATISTICS.
HOW BIG IS THE CELL?
THE-- THE AVERAGE SIZE OF A
CELL IS-- I GUESS I'M TRYING TO
- YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE SPACE
OF WHAT THE--
YES, THE DIMENSIONS IN FEET
AND INCHES.
THE SIZE OF THE CELL THAT A
PERSON IS KEPT IN.
I WANT TO GET SOME IDEA OF-- I
DON'T KNOW-- AM I ASKING THIS
WRONG?
John: NO!
NO, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY NOT!
AND HONESTLY, I WISH HE'D KEPT
GOING.
"OKAY, CLEARLY YOU'RE CONFUSED
BY FEET AND INCHES.
HOW ABOUT METERS?
OR STEPS?
IF YOU STOOD AT ONE END OF THE
CELL, HOW MANY STEPS WOULD IT
TAKE TO WALK TO THE OTHER END?
NO?
HOW MANY RABBITS COULD YOU FIT
ON THE FLOOR OF ONE OF THOSE
CELLS?
HOW MANY RABBITS BIG IS ONE
CELL?
AM I ASKING THIS WRONG?
BECAUSE THERE ARE LITERALLY NO
OTHER WAYS TO ASK THIS
QUESTION."
FOR THE RECORD, THE AVERAGE SIZE
OF A SOLITARY CELL IS 6 FEET BY
9 FEET, WHICH IS WAY TOO SMALL
FOR A PERSON TO BE STUCK IN FOR
DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, OR EVEN
YEARS ON END.
THAT LEVEL OF ISOLATION IS WHY
IN 2011, THE UNITED NATIONS
SPECIAL RAPPORTEUR ON TORTURE
DECLARED THAT, CONSIDERING THE
SEVERE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT CAN CAUSE,
IT CAN AMOUNT TO TORTURE.
THEY THEN CALLED ON ALL
COUNTRIES TO PROHIBIT INDEFINITE
AND PROLONGED SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT IN EXCESS OF 15
DAYS.
WHICH REALLY ISN'T ASKING THAT
MUCH, BUT IS ALSO SOMETHING
THAT WE IN THE U.S. HAVE, TO PUT
IT MILDLY, NOT DONE.
WHICH IS APPALLING, AS SOLITARY
REALLY TAKES ITS TOLL ON PEOPLE
AS SOMEONE WHO'S ACTUALLY
EXPERIENCED IT CAN TELL YOU.
ASK YOURSELF, CAN YOU LIVE IN
A BATHROOM FOR 10 YEARS?
IT'S BAD TO LOCK AN INDIVIDUAL
UP AND JUST PUT HIM IN A-- IN A
ROOM, CLOSED, NOTHING TO DO.
IT'S, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY,
INHUMANE.
AND I KNOW, "WE'RE INMATES AND
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH," BUT, EXCUSE
MY LANGUAGE, IT FUCKS ME UP.
John: YEAH, OF COURSE THAT
FUCKS YOU UP.
HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT MEANT TO
SIT IN A BATHROOM FOR TEN YEARS
WITH NOTHING TO DO.
YOU'RE THINKING OF RETAINERS.
THOSE ARE THE THINGS WE PLACE
INTO A BATHROOM AND FULLY
NEGLECT FOR AN ENTIRE DECADE.
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
SO GIVEN HOW PREVALENT IT IS,
AND HOW DAMAGING IT CAN BE,
TONIGHT, LET'S LOOK AT SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT.
AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT
THAT IT HAS ITS ROOTS IN A
SOMEWHAT UNEXPECTED PLACE.
IT WAS ACTUALLY INTRODUCED BY
THE QUAKERS AS A NOBLE
EXPERIMENT IN REHABILITATION.
THERE WAS A BELIEF THAT YOU
COULD PUT A PRISONER IN HIS OWN
SOLITARY CELL, FREED FROM THE
EVIL INFLUENCES OF MODERN
SOCIETY.
AND IF YOU PUT THEM IN THAT
CELL, THEY WOULD BECOME LIKE A
PENITENT MONK, FREE TO COME
CLOSE TO GOD AND TO THEIR OWN
INNER BEING, AND THEY WOULD
NATURALLY HEAL.
John: IT'S TRUE!
THE WHOLE IDEA OF SOLITARY CAME
FROM QUAKERS.
AND ON ONE HAND, IT'S NOT
SURPRISING THAT A FORM OF BRUTAL
TORTURE AND PUNISHMENT WAS
INVENTED BY A RELIGIOUS GROUP.
ON THE OTHER, IF YOU GAVE ME
FIFTY GUESSES FOR WHICH ONE
INVENTED LOCKING PEOPLE IN A
SMALL ROOM ALONE TO FEEL GUILTY
24 HOURS A DAY, I'D GUESS
"CATHOLICS" FIFTY TIMES IN A
ROW.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
QUAKERS BASICALLY THOUGHT THAT
PRISONERS ISOLATED IN CELLS WITH
A BIBLE COULD USE THAT TIME TO
REFLECT, REPENT AND EVENTUALLY
REFORM.
THAT'S EVEN WHERE THE TERM
"PENITENTIARY" ORIGINATED.
WHICH IS A HANDY FUN FACT IF YOU
EVER WANT TO QUICKLY RAISE A FEW
RED FLAGS ON A FIRST DATE.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT BY THE MID-1800S, THE
PSYCHOLOGICAL HARMS OF ISOLATION
WERE BECOMING CLEAR.
AND BY 1890, THE SUPREME COURT
DECLARED THAT SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT MADE PRISONERS,
QUOTE, "VIOLENTLY INSANE."
AFTER THAT, THE PRACTICE WAS
LARGELY ABANDONED UNTIL THE
1980S, WHEN MASS INCARCERATION
LED TO PRISON OVERCROWDING,
WHICH IN TURN LED TO A RISE IN
PRISON VIOLENCE.
AND IN AN EFFORT TO PRESERVE
ORDER, PRISON OFFICIALS STARTED
RAMPING UP THE USE OF SOLITARY
AGAIN.
AND AT THIS POINT, IT'S WORTH
LOOKING AT WHAT MODERN SOLITARY
ACTUALLY CONSISTS OF.
GENERALLY IT INVOLVES ISOLATING
PEOPLE FOR 22 TO 24 HOURS PER
DAY IN SMALL CELLS, WITH MINIMAL
CONTACT WITH OTHERS, AND WITH
LITTLE OR NO ACCESS TO READING
MATERIALS, OR RADIO AND TV.
AND EVEN IF THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
WHAT YOU ASSUMED, THERE ARE
ADDITIONAL ELEMENTS TO SOLITARY
YOU MIGHT NOT EXPECT, LIKE THE
FACT THAT SOME CELLS ARE LIT
AROUND-THE-CLOCK, AND THERE CAN
BE A NEAR-CONSTANT SOUND OF
BANGING, SCREAMING, AND MOANING.
FRONTLINE SPENT FOUR MONTHS
FILMING IN A SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT UNIT, AND RELEASED A
VIDEO JUST OF THE NOISE.
AND HERE'S JUST 20 SECONDS OF
IT.
[BANGING ON DOORS]
[SCREAMING]
John: HOLY SHIT.
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO THINK IN
THERE, LET ALONE SLEEP?
THERE'S A REASON PEOPLE FALL
ASLEEP TO "SOUNDS OF THE
RAINFOREST" AND NOT "SOUNDS OF
ONE OF THOSE HAUNTED HOUSES
WHERE YOU HAVE TO SIGN A WAIVER
TO GET IN."
SO A PERSON CAN BE STUCK ALONE
IN A CELL FOR 23 HOURS A DAY OR
MORE, WITH THE SOUNDTRACK TO
"STOMP" PLAYING IN THE
BACKGROUND, AND AS THIS MAN
WILL TELL YOU, FILLING THAT TIME
CAN TAKE SOME REAL EFFORT.
ONE OF THE THINGS I DID IN
SOLITARY TO PASS THE TIME WAS
SAVE MY BREAD, PUT IT ON THE
FLOOR, AND LET THE MICE COME IN
AND EAT IT AND PLAY.
IT WAS ACTION.
IT WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
IS IT GROSS?
YEAH.
DISGUSTING A LITTLE BIT?
SURE.
BETTER THAN GOING INSANE?
YEAH.
John: YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE.
BECAUSE IT IS A LITTLE
DISGUSTING.
BUT IT IS BETTER THAN GOING
INSANE.
ALSO, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I
DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND WHAT
TIKTOK IS.
I THOUGHT I DID, BUT I CLEARLY
DON'T.
I THOUGHT IT WAS AN APP FOR
TEENS TO DO THE SAME EIGHT
DANCES THAT ALL INVOLVE THIS
MOVE, SO THE CHINESE
GOVERNMENT CAN SPY ON US.
I DIDN'T KNOW FRANK DISCUSSIONS
OF THE CONDITIONS IN PRISONS
WERE PART OF IT TOO.
BUT THAT GUY WASN'T KIDDING,
SOLITARY CAN IRREPARABLY DAMAGE
PEOPLE'S MINDS.
STUDIES SHOW THAT SOME LASTING
MENTAL DAMAGE IS CAUSED AFTER
JUST A FEW DAYS OF ISOLATION.
AND THE EFFECTS CAN BE EVEN MORE
ACUTE WHEN CHILDREN EXPERIENCE
IT.
OH, YEAH, IN CASE I FORGOT TO
MENTION, WE SUBJECT CHILDREN TO
SOLITARY IN THIS COUNTRY, TOO.
VICKI REED WAS SHOCKED BY
WHAT WE FOUND AT THE MIDDLE
TENNESSEE JUVENILE DETENTION
FACILITY IN MURRAY COUNTY.
WE REVEALED JUVENILES OFTEN
SPEND 23 TO 24 HOURS A DAY
LOCKED INSIDE THEIR CELLS.
IF A PARENT LOCKS HER KID IN
A CLOSET AND LEAVES HIM THERE
AND FEEDS HIM THREE TIMES A DAY
AND THAT'S IT, WE WOULD CALL
THAT CHILD ABUSE.
John: YEAH, SHE'S NOT WRONG.
IF I LEARNED THAT SOMEONE WAS
LOCKING CHILDREN IN A CLOSET ALL
DAY LONG, I'D IMMEDIATELY SAY
TWO THINGS.
ARE THOSE THE CHILDREN FROM THE
"KARS-4-KIDS" COMMERCIAL?
IF SO, THANK YOU FOR YOUR
SERVICE.
BUT IF NOT, THEN THAT'S CHILD
ABUSE AND YOU NEED TO STOP DOING
IT IMMEDIATELY!
SO, IF IT'S THIS TORTUROUS AND
PERMANENTLY DAMAGING, WHY DO WE
PUT PEOPLE IN SOLITARY?
WELL, IF YOU ASK PRISON OR
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, THE
RESPONSE YOU'LL OFTEN GET IS,
"WE ACTUALLY DON'T."
THAT'S BECAUSE WE HAVE A LOT OF
EUPHEMISMS FOR SOLITARY, LIKE
"SEGREGATION," OR "PROTECTIVE
CUSTODY," OR REFERRING TO THE
CELLS AS "RESTRICTED HOUSING
UNITS" OR "SECURITY HOUSING
UNITS."
IN TENNESSEE, WHERE THAT WOMAN
WAS OUTRAGED KIDS WERE BEING
HELD IN ISOLATION, OFFICIALS
THERE SIMPLY CALLED IT "ROOM
RESTRICTION."
AND HERE'S NEW YORK MAYOR
ERIC ADAMS, TRYING TO MAKE A
SIMILAR TYPE OF SEMANTIC
DISTINCTION.
I AM OPPOSED TO SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT.
THAT IS A DRACONIAN WAY TO
PROTECT THE CITY.
BUT WHAT I AM SAYING, YOU CAN'T
BE A-- AN INMATE, SEXUALLY
ASSAULT A CORRECTION OFFICER OR
ANOTHER INMATE, AND THEN STAY IN
GENERAL POPULATION.
PUNITIVE SEGREGATION IS A HUMANE
WAY OF REMOVING DANGEROUS
INMATES TO A LOCATION WHERE THEY
CAN GET THE SERVICES THEY NEED
SO THEY CAN STOP PREYING ON
OTHER INMATES, STAFF, AND
PREYING ON SOCIETY.
John: YEAH, ADAMS DOESN'T
SUPPORT "SOLITARY CONFINEMENT"
BUT HE'S ALL IN FOR "PUNITIVE
SEGREGATION"-- AN INTERESTING
DISTINCTION CONSIDERING THAT THE
NEW YORK BOARD OF CORRECTIONS'
OWN WEBSITE SAYS THAT PUNITIVE
SEGREGATION IS "ALSO KNOWN AS
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT."
SO THAT'S A PRETTY WEIRD STANCE.
THOUGH IT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE
SURPRISING THAT ERIC ADAMS DID
OR SAID SOMETHING WEIRD.
THIS IS THE SAME MAN WHO ONCE
TOLD A REPORTER THAT NEW YORK
SITS ON A STORE OF RARE GEMS AND
STONES, WHICH IS WHY "THERE'S A
SPECIAL ENERGY THAT COMES FROM
HERE," INSISTED ON TAKING HIS
FIRST PAYCHECK AS MAYOR IN
CRYPTO, DELIBERATELY POSED FOR
THIS PHOTO, AND HAS REPEATEDLY
HELD UP A SPONGE ON STAGE TO
ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO RING OUT
THEIR INTERNAL DESPAIR.
ANSWERING THE QUESTION, "WHAT IF
MR. CLEAN WAS A MOTIVATIONAL
SPEAKER?"
BUT THE FACT IS, WHATEVER YOU
CALL SOLITARY, THE EXPERIENCE
FOR THE PERSON GOING THROUGH IT
IS THE SAME.
AND CORRECTIONS OFFICERS WILL
OFTEN JUSTIFY IT BY ARGUING, AS
ADAMS JUST DID, THAT IT'S A
NECESSARY TOOL TO ISOLATE
WRONGDOERS AND PRESERVE ORDER.
HERE'S THE HEAD OF THE NEW YORK
CITY CORRECTIONS OFFICERS'
UNION, MAKING THAT EXACT POINT.
WE HAVE TO BE ABLE TO
SEGREGATE THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, IF WE HAVE A SOCIETY
WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES, THEN WE'LL
JUST HAVE TOTAL ANARCHY.
ISN'T THE PROBLEM THAT MANY
OF THOSE IN SOLITARY ARE NOT THE
REALLY DANGEROUS CRIMINALS?
THEY'RE PEOPLE WHO'VE BROKEN
MINOR RULES OR ARE SUICIDAL?
THAT'S JUST NOT THE CASE.
MINOR INFRACTIONS, PEOPLE DO NOT
END UP IN SOLI-- IN PUNITIVE
SEGREGATION.
John: FIRST, GOOD CATCH!
YOU ALMOST CALLED IT "SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT" THERE, A NEAR-MISS
ON PAR WITH HAVING A MUSTACHE
THAT ALMOST MAKES YOU A
JOHN WATERS IMPERSONATOR.
BUT SECOND, THE CLAIM THAT
"PEOPLE DON'T END UP IN SOLITARY
FOR MINOR INFRACTIONS" IS JUST
NOT TRUE.
IN GENERAL, RESEARCHERS HAVE
FOUND VIOLENCE IS TYPICALLY NOT
THE MOST COMMON REASON PEOPLE
ARE SENT TO SOLITARY.
IN OREGON, RESEARCHERS ONCE
FOUND THAT DISOBEDIENCE WAS THE
INFRACTION RESULTING IN THE MOST
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT SANCTIONS.
AND NATIONWIDE, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
SENT TO SOLITARY FOR REASONS
INCLUDING-- AND THESE ARE REAL
- NOT MAKING THEIR BED, USING
FACEBOOK, AND HAVING TOO MANY
ENVELOPES.
AND AS THIS FORMERLY
INCARCERATED MAN WILL TELL YOU,
THE LIST DOESN'T STOP THERE.
I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GO TO
SOLITARY FOR THINGS AS LITTLE AS
HANDING OTHER PEOPLE STUFF,
HAVING TOO MANY CIGARETTES IN
THEIR POCKET.
I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GO TO SOLITARY
FOR TALKING BACK.
I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GO TO SOLITARY
FOR NOT HAVING THEIR SHIRT
TUCKED IN.
I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GO TO SOLITARY
FOR NOT HAVING THE RIGHT SHOES
IN THE GYM.
I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GO TO THE BOX
FOR A LOT OF STUFF, BRO.
John: THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
SOLITARY SHOULDN'T BE WHERE WE
SEND PEOPLE WHO ARE DRESSING
INCORRECTLY.
IF IT WERE, I CAN THINK OF FOUR
PEOPLE WHO'D BE IN THERE RIGHT
NOW, YET INSTEAD, THEY'RE
WALKING AROUND FREE, STRUGGLING
TO ANSWER BASIC QUESTIONS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO THE TRUTH IS PETTY RULE
INFRACTIONS ARE A VERY COMMON
CAUSE OF LANDING PEOPLE IN
SOLITARY.
AND THAT IS NOT ALL.
PEOPLE WHO ARE SEEN AS "AT RISK"
IN THE GENERAL PRISON POPULATION
- BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUNG,
MENTALLY ILL, INTELLECTUALLY
DISABLED, GAY OR TRANSGENDER--
CAN WIND UP IN THERE "FOR THEIR
OWN PROTECTION."
AND THINK ABOUT HOW ABSURD THAT
LOGIC IS.
"THE ONLY WAY WE CAN
KEEP YOU SAFE IS TO INFLICT
ENORMOUS HARM ON YOU."
IT'S LIKE ARGUING, "THE ONLY WAY
TO KEEP YOU HYDRATED IS TO
WATERBOARD YOU."
ONE, IT ISN'T.
SO TWO, FIND ANOTHER FUCKING
WAY.
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "WELL,
WHAT IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY IS A
POTENTIAL THREAT TO INMATES OR
GUARDS?
SHOULDN'T THEY BE GETTING LOCKED
UP IN SOLITARY?"
WELL, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT A
2016 REPORT FOUND THAT "THERE IS
LITTLE EVIDENCE THAT
ADMINISTRATIVE SEGREGATION HAS
HAD ANY EFFECTS ON OVERALL
LEVELS OF VIOLENCE" IN
CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES.
IN FACT SOME RESEARCH HAS FOUND
SUBJECTING PEOPLE TO SOLITARY
CAN LEAD THEM TO BECOME MORE,
NOT LESS, VIOLENT.
AND THAT CAN OBVIOUSLY BE A
PROBLEM, NOT JUST INSIDE
PRISONS, BUT ALSO, AFTER PEOPLE
ARE RELEASED.
EVEN THOSE WHO'VE WORKED WITHIN
PRISONS-- LIKE THIS FORMER
WARDEN-- WILL TELL YOU HOW
COUNTERPRODUCTIVE OUR CURRENT
SYSTEM IS.
IF I HAVE SOMEBODY THAT COMES
IN WITH A FIVE-YEAR COMMITMENT,
YOU CAN HAVE THEM DO THEIR WHOLE
TIME IN SEGREGATION, BUT I DON'T
WANT HIM LIVING NEXT TO ME WHEN
WE RELEASE HIM.
THE REALITY IS, 80% OF THESE
INMATES ARE GOING TO BE HITTING
THE STREET, OKAY?
SO, WE CAN EITHER MAKE THEM
WORSE, OKAY, AND CREATE MORE
VICTIMS WHEN THEY GO ON THE
STREET, OR WE CAN REHABILITATE
THEM.
John: YEAH, AND WHEN YOU
FRAME IT AS A CHOICE LIKE THAT,
IT'S HARD TO PICK SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT.
IT'S LIKE SAYING, "FOR DINNER
TONIGHT, WE CAN EITHER GET
PIZZA, OR WE COULD ASSASSINATE
PAUL MCCARTNEY."
ONE OF THOSE CHOICES MAKES
SENSE, AND THE OTHER IS
ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE FOR
EVERYONE ON EARTH.
AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, THIS ISN'T
TO SAY THAT PEOPLE WHO'VE
COMMITTED VIOLENT ACTS IN PRISON
SHOULD JUST BE LEFT IN THE
GENERAL POPULATION TO
POTENTIALLY HARM OTHERS.
THEY CAN BE SEPARATED, WITHOUT
BEING COMPLETELY ISOLATED.
TAKE NORTH DAKOTA.
THEIR STATE PRISON OFFICIALS
MADE THE BOLD DECISION TO END
THE USE OF SOLITARY, BUT IN
DOING SO, TO ALSO CREATE A LESS
HOSTILE ATMOSPHERE OVERALL.
SO WHEN PRISONERS GOT IN TROUBLE
FOR SERIOUS INFRACTIONS LIKE
VIOLENCE, INSTEAD OF SOLITARY,
THEY WERE SENT TO A BRAND-NEW
UNIT WHERE THEY'D GET
SIGNIFICANT OUT-OF-CELL TIME,
AND ACCESS TO BEHAVIORAL
TREATMENT.
AND IT'S HAD PROMISING RESULTS.
JERRY HOLMES WAS JUST
RELEASED FROM THE NEW BEHAVIORAL
HEALTH INTERVENTION UNIT, OR
BIU, IN SEPTEMBER.
MINDSET, 100% BETTER.
'CAUSE YOU'RE JUST NOT CRAMMED
UP IN A HOLE, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
COMING OUT OF A BOX.
BRANDON DAVIS HAS SPENT TIME
IN THE OLD ADMINISTRATIVE
SEGREGATION UNIT, OR ASU, AND
THE NEW BIU.
HE SAYS THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE
IS JUST HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK
TO.
NOW, THEY HAVE INTERACTION AND
COUNSELING TO WORK TOWARD A
SOLUTION.
BECAUSE IF YOU BOTTLE IN YOUR
ISSUES, IT JUST-- IT-- IT
OVERWHELMS THE PERSON.
LIKE, 'CAUSE I HAVE MY OWN
PROBLEMS, AND LIKE, WHEN-- WHEN
YOU'RE ISOLATED AND YOU HAVE
THESE ISSUES, AND IT'S LIKE, YOU
HAVE NOWHERE TO RELEASE THEM, OR
NO ONE TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT.
John: YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
HAVE BEEN IN SOLITARY TO
UNDERSTAND THAT TALKING THROUGH
YOUR ISSUES WITH OTHER PEOPLE IS
PROBABLY BETTER FOR YOU THAN
BEING LOCKED IN A CONCRETE
TOILET CAVE.
AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING ANY OF
THIS IS EASY.
BECAUSE I KNOW THE SOLUTION
SHOULD BE SIMPLE.
"PUTTING PEOPLE IN SOLITARY IS
TORTURE, SO LET'S STOP DOING
IT."
BUT EXACTLY HOW WE DO THAT IS
ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL TO ANY
REFORM ACTUALLY WORKING.
UNFORTUNATELY, IN MULTIPLE
STATES, WHEN THEY'VE TAKEN STEPS
TO LIMIT THE USE OF SOLITARY,
CORRECTIONS OFFICIALS HAVE FOUND
WAYS TO KEEP DOING IT ANYWAY.
BY DOING THINGS LIKE KEEPING
PRISONERS ISOLATED FOR PERIODS
JUST BENEATH THE STATE'S
DEFINITION OF "SOLITARY," OR
USING ONE OF THE MANY EUPHEMISMS
YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN.
ONE KEY REASON NORTH DAKOTA'S
REFORMS WORKED IS BECAUSE THEY
CAME DIRECTLY FROM PEOPLE
RUNNING THE CORRECTIONS SYSTEM
THERE.
THEY UNDERSTOOD THAT REDUCING
THE USE OF SOLITARY ENTAILED
CHANGING THE WHOLE CULTURE OF
THEIR PRISONS, AND THEY DID
HAVE TO GET RID OF STAFF WHO
WEREN'T ON BOARD WITH THE IDEA,
SO THAT IT COULD BE EXECUTED
PROPERLY.
AND WHILE IT WASN'T EASY--
THERE WAS AN INITIAL RISE IN
VIOLENCE IN THE PRISON'S GENERAL
POPULATION IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD
- THEY STUCK WITH IT, AND NOT
ONLY HAS THE OVERALL TREND IN
VIOLENCE BEEN DOWNWARD, BUT BOTH
INCARCERATED PERSONS AND STAFF
MEMBERS REPORTED IMPROVEMENTS IN
THEIR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING,
BETTER INTERACTIONS WITH ONE
ANOTHER, AND LESS EXPOSURE TO
VIOLENCE FOLLOWING THE REFORMS.
SO IT CAN BE DONE, IF WE WANT
TO.
AND I KNOW THAT SOME CORRECTIONS
OFFICIALS WILL STILL INSIST THAT
THEY NEED IT.
BUT I'D ARGUE THAT, IF YOU FIND
YOURSELF MAKING THE CASE THAT
YOU NEED TO TORTURE PEOPLE TO
KEEP YOUR FACILITY SAFE, THAT IN
ITSELF IS AN ADMISSION OF
CATASTROPHIC FAILURE, AND YOU
MAY NEED TO GO.
BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO
REMEMBER JUST HOW LASTING THE
DAMAGE HERE CAN BE.
THE VOICES IN THIS DEBATE ARE
OFTEN DOMINATED BY CORRECTIONS
OFFICIALS, BUT IT IS WORTH
LISTENING, AT LENGTH, TO THE
PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN HARMED BY
THIS.
ANTHONY GRAVES WAS KEPT IN
SOLITARY FOR 18 YEARS, AFTER
BEING WRONGLY CONVICTED.
AND JUST LISTEN TO HIM TESTIFY
BEFORE CONGRESS, ABOUT WHAT IT
DID TO HIM.
I HAVE BEEN FREE FOR ALMOST
TWO YEARS AND I STILL CRY AT
NIGHT BECAUSE NO ONE OUT HERE
CAN RELATE TO WHAT I'VE GONE
THROUGH.
I BATTLE WITH THESE FEELINGS OF
LONELINESS.
I'VE TRIED THERAPY, BUT IT
DIDN'T WORK.
THE THERAPIST WAS CRYING MORE
THAN ME.
SHE COULD NOT IMAGINE HOW
INHUMANE OUR SYSTEM WOULD TREAT
ME.
I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD NIGHT'S
SLEEP SINCE I'VE BEEN OUT.
I ONLY SLEEP ABOUT 2 1/2 TO
THREE HOURS A NIGHT AND THEN I'M
UP.
MY BODY HAS NOT MADE THE
ADJUSTMENT.
I HAVE MOOD SWINGS THAT JUST
CAUSES EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY COME
FROM, THEY JUST COME OUT OF
NOWHERE.
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT MAKES OUR
CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM
CRIMINAL.
John: HE'S RIGHT.
SOLITARY ISN'T SOMETHING WE DO
TO PEOPLE BEHIND BARS, IT'S
SOMETHING WE DO TO THEM FOREVER.
IT NEEDS TO BE UNIVERSALLY
UNDERSTOOD HOW INDEFENSIBLE IT
IS.
SO MAYBE, JUST MAYBE IN THE
FUTURE, WE CAN ONE DAY GET
TO A POINT WHERE, EVEN IF YOU
APPROACHED THE WORST-DRESSED
BROS ON THE STREET OF ANY
AMERICAN CITY AND ASKED THEM,
"WHAT IS THE ACCEPTABLE NUMBER
OF PEOPLE TO HAVE IN SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT?," THE ANSWER THEY'D
COME UP WITH, WITH NO
HESITATION, IS ZERO.
AND NOW THIS.
Announcer: AND NOW, NOBODY
REPORTS ON THE NEWS LIKE FOX 26
IS ISAIAH CAREY APPEARED >>
WELCOME BACK TO THE SECOND HALF
HOUR, REALLY MAY BE A AS TOO MU.
INFLATION CONTINUES TO HIT
THE EVERY CORNER OF THE BUSINESS
SECTORS INCLUDING THE STRIP
CLUB.
ONE MAN IN NEW YORK DROPPED HIS
DRAWERS AND PULLED OUT A PIPE TO
MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HE IS COMING,
COMING OR AT LEAST RUNNING FOR
OFFICE.
A STORY HAS GONE VIRAL
THROUGHOUT ALL OF TIKTOK ABOUT
HOW SHE STUCK A SO FAR UP HER
BACKSIDE THAT SHE COULD NOT GET
IT OUT.
NOW THURSDAY THIEVES WHO WILL
STILL WET ON THE WATER TO GET
WHAT THEY ARE BROKE ASSES' ONE.
A FILTH NICKEL AND DIMING THIEF
THAT NEEDS HIS ASS KICKED.
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF SPLENDID
DADDY'S.
LISTEN UP, EVERYONE, MARRIAGE
DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY GRANT YOU
SEX.
LEARN THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
John: MOVING ON.
FINALLY TONIGHT, I WANT TO TALK
ABOUT INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAW.
IT THE REASON WHY YOUR
UNLICENSED HALLOWEEN COSTUME OF
OSCAR THE GROUCH IS CALLED
SOMETHING LIKE "CRANKY TRASH
PERVERT."
AND BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, I
WANT TO SHOW YOU THE TRAILER FOR
A RECENT HORROR MOVIE.
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, I'LL
JUST SAY IT HAS A SOMEWHAT
UNEXPECTED VILLAIN.
CHRISTOPHER, WE NEED TO
LEAVE, NOW.
I REALLY NEED TO FIND OUT
WHAT'S HAPPENED HERE, OKAY?
♪ ♪
[SCREAMING]
♪ ♪
John: YES.
EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS
DISTURBING, INCLUDING THAT
WINNIE THE POOH IN THIS MOVIE
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE SHAVED AND
BLEACHED THE GRINCH.
ALSO, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE THE
BAD GUY?
ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS
WOULD MAKE MUCH MORE SENSE AS A
KILLER.
PIGLET?
INFERIORITY COMPLEX.
TICKING TIME BOMB.
TIGGER?
FAST.
POWERFUL.
UNHINGED.
RABBIT?
TWISTED CONTROL FREAK.
EEYORE?
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
HE'S BEEN KICKED AROUND FOR
DECADES.
WHEN EEYORE SNAPS, NONE OF US
ARE SAFE.
NOW, UNSURPRISINGLY, NOT
EVERYONE WAS ON BOARD WITH THE
MOVIE'S CONCEPT.
THAT IS AWFUL, THEY CAN'T
TURN WINNIE THE POOH INTO A
HORROR FILM.
THAT'D BE TERRIFYING, WOULDN'T
IT?
I'M USED TO HIM BEING, LIKE,
A CUTE LITTLE BEAR IN THE WOODS,
NOT A-- NOT A CRIMINAL.
John: RIGHT, WINNIE THE POOH
IS CUDDLY AND FUN.
HE'S AN IMPORTANT ROLE MODEL FOR
WOODLAND BEARS, ESPECIALLY NOW,
WHEN THEY HAVE SO MANY REALLY
BAD ONES.
NOW, THE REASON THAT MOVIE
HASN'T BEEN CRUSHED UNDER THE
FORCE OF A THOUSAND LAWSUITS, IS
BECAUSE IN JANUARY OF LAST YEAR,
THE ORIGINAL COPYRIGHT ON
WINNIE-THE-POOH EXPIRED.
MEANING ANYONE IN THE U.S. CAN
NOW FREELY USE THE CHARACTERS
FROM THE ORIGINAL BOOK, WITHOUT
HAVING TO PAY OR ASK PERMISSION.
BUT IT TURNS OUT, WINNIE THE
POOH ISN'T ACTUALLY THE ONLY
MAJOR CHARACTER, OWNED BY
DISNEY, ON THE PRECIPICE OF
ENTERING PUBLIC DOMAIN.
DISNEY COULD SOON LOSE ITS
EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO ITS MOST
ICONIC CHARACTER.
THE COPYRIGHT FOR MICKEY MOUSE
IS SET TO EXPIRE IN 2024, 95
YEARS AFTER ITS FIRST
PUBLICATION.
John: IT'S TRUE!
MICKEY MOUSE WILL SOON BE PUBLIC
PROPERTY IN THE U.S.!
WHICH IS A BIG DEAL, BECAUSE HIS
COPYRIGHT IS A CLOSELY-GUARDED
CORPORATE TREASURE, LIKE THE
FORMULA TO COCA COLA, OR THE 11
HERBS AND SPICES, OR
WHERE MCDONALDS BURIED THE BODY
OF MAYOR MCCHEESE.
AND DISNEY'S BEEN WILDLY
AGGRESSIVE IN DEFENDING ITS
COPYRIGHTS OVER THE YEARS, AT
ONE POINT, TELLING A STONEMASON
THAT CARVING WINNIE THE POOH
INTO A CHILD'S GRAVESTONE WOULD
VIOLATE ITS COPYRIGHT, BEFORE
ULTIMATELY RELENTING, LEADING TO
THE EXCEPTIONAL HEADLINE,
"DISNEY LIFTS POOH BEAR GRAVE
BAN."
SO CONGRATS, DISNEY.
YOU REALLY CAME OFF AS THE GOOD
GUY IN THAT ONE.
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, BECAUSE IN
1989, THEY DID THIS.
NOW DISNEY LAWYERS HAVE TAKEN
AIM AT THIS FLORIDA DAY CARE
CENTER, SAYING IT HAS NO RIGHT
TO USE DISNEY CHARACTERS ON ITS
WALLS.
KIDS AND PARENTS HERE AT VERY
IMPORTANT BABIES DON'T WANT TO
LOSE MICKEY.
I'LL FEEL SAD A LOT.
IF THEY TOOK MICKEY DOWN?
WHY?
BECAUSE I LIKE HIM.
John: AW, DON'T WORRY, BUDDY!
NO ONE'S TAKING MICKEY AWAY.
THEY'RE JUST GOING TO PAINT OVER
HIM.
SO HE'LL STILL BE THERE,
INVISIBLE TO YOU, TRAPPED UNDER
A THIN LAYER OF PAINT,
TANTALIZINGLY CLOSE, BUT
PERMANENTLY ALONE, IN A SORT OF
LIMINAL UNDEATH.
NOW RUN ALONG AND PLAY!
HE'S WATCHING YOU, ALL THE TIME,
YOU VERY IMPORTANT BABY!
AND DISNEY HAS BEEN DESPERATE
NOT TO SEE ITS COPYRIGHT ON
MICKEY EXPIRE.
IT WAS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO DO
SO IN THE EARLY 2000S, BUT
DISNEY, AMONG OTHERS,
SUCCESSFULLY LOBBIED CONGRESS TO
EXTEND IT ANOTHER TWENTY YEARS,
IN A BILL THAT WAS EVEN
NICKNAMED AT THE TIME "THE
MICKEY MOUSE PROTECTION ACT."
AND THE TRUTH IS, EVEN AFTER
THIS NEW DEADLINE EXPIRES,
DISNEY MAY STILL BE ABLE TO GO
AFTER ANYONE USING MICKEY'S
LIKENESS.
BECAUSE CRUCIALLY, ONLY ONE
PARTICULAR VERSION OF THE
CHARACTER IS ABOUT TO BECOME
FAIR GAME.
NOW KEEP IN MIND THAT ONLY
THE VERY FIRST VERSION OF MICKEY
IS THE ONE THAT WILL BE STRIPPED
OF ITS COPYRIGHT.
THAT'S THE 1928 BLACK-AND-WHITE
VERSION WHERE MICKEY'S ON THE
STEAMBOAT AND BACK THEN MICKEY
LOOKED MORE RAT-LIKE.
DISNEY WILL RETAIN ITS COPYRIGHT
ON ANY SUBSEQUENT VARIATIONS AND
OTHER FILMS OR ARTWORK UNTIL
THEY REACH THE 95 YEAR MARK.
John: SHE'S RIGHTTRUE.
John: SHE'S RIGHT.
THE U.S. COPYRIGHT IS ONLY SET
TO EXPIRE FOR THE ORIGINAL,
"STEAMBOAT WILLIE" VERSION OF
MICKEY.
DISNEY'S COPYRIGHT STILL APPLIES
TO THE LATER VERSIONS IN WHICH
MICKEY GIVES OFF STRONG DIANE
KEATON VIBES, BY WHICH I MEAN,
HE'S UNCONTROLLABLY HORNY WHILE
WEARING GLOVES.
ON TOP OF WHICH, DISNEY HAS
REGISTERED TRADEMARKS RELATED TO
MICKEY.
WHICH DON'T EXPIRE.
IN FACT, SOME HAVE SPECULATED
THAT THAT MAY BE WHY DISNEY
REDESIGNED ITS ANIMATION STUDIOS
OPENING LOGO TO INCORPORATE THE
STEAMBOAT WILLIE MICKEY MOUSE.
AND IT DOES FEEL LIKE A TACTICAL
LEGAL MOVE.
BASICALLY, THEY MAY ARGUE THAT
THIS EARLY MICKEY'S IMAGE IS SO
CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH THEIR
COMPANY THAT PEOPLE WILL ASSUME
ANY IMAGE OF HIM WAS PRODUCED OR
AUTHORIZED BY THEM, AND STILL
TAKE LEGAL ACTION.
SO THE FACT IS, ANYONE WANTING
TO USE THE "STEAMBOAT WILLIE"
MICKEY MOUSE, WILL PROBABLY
STILL BE TAKING A RISK.
BUT IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THIS SHOW BY NOW, YOU KNOW WE DO
LIKE TO TAKE A RISK EVERY NOW
AND THEN.
AND THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR
BEATING THE RUSH TO CAPITALIZE
ON MICKEY THAT'LL START NEXT
YEAR.
SO TONIGHT, I'D LIKE TO PREVIEW
FOR YOU A BRAND NEW CHARACTER ON
OUR SHOW, MICKEY MOUSE!
Mickey: OH, BOY!
HEY THERE, JOHN!
John: HEY THERE, MICKEY!
IT'S SO GREAT TO HAVE YOU WITH
US!
Mickey: WHERE'S
SHELLEY MISCAVIGE?
John: OH, MICKEY, THERE'S THE
CLASSIC CATCHPHRASE YOU'RE GOING
TO BE DOING EVERY TIME YOU'RE ON
THIS SHOW FROM NOW ON!
YOU KNOW, THE NICE THING ABOUT
CHARACTERS ENTERING THE PUBLIC
DOMAIN IS, YOU CAN DO NEW,
INTERESTING THINGS WITH THEM!
Mickey: I THOUGHT I WASN'T
PUBLIC DOMAIN UNTIL NEXT YEAR!
John: THAT'S ACTUALLY TRUE,
BUDDY, WE ARE PUSHING THE LIMIT
A BIT HERE.
ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT,
IS YOUR VOICE PUBLIC DOMAIN YET?
Mickey: I GUESS YOU'LL FIND
OUT!
John: YEAH, I GUESS WE WILL!
Mickey: I HOPE HENRY
KISSINGER DIES SOON!
John: OH, ME TOO, MICKEY!
CONSIDER THAT YOUR SECOND
CATCHPHRASE!
BYE!
THE POINT IS, WE'RE STAKING OUR
CLAIM TO MICKEY MOUSE RIGHT NOW.
AND I KNOW DISNEY'S LAWYERS
MIGHT TAKE THE TRADEMARK ANGLE,
AND ARGUE THAT THIS MICKEY IS
CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH THEIR
BRAND.
ALTHOUGH THEY SHOULD KNOW, HE'S
PRETTY CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH
OUR BRAND NOW, TOO, AND NOT JUST
BECAUSE I HAVE A GENERAL VIBE
THAT SCREAMS "95-YEAR-OLD
RAT-FACED IDIOT."
BUT ALSO BECAUSE THE "STEAMBOAT
WILLIE" MICKEY HAS ACTUALLY BEEN
IN OUR OPENING CREDITS SINCE THE
FIRST SHOW OF THIS SEASON.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND I DON'T DOUBT DISNEY HAS
SOME OTHER LEGAL ARGUMENTS UP
THEIR SLEEVE, BUT WE'RE ONLY
LIKELY TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE
IF AND WHEN THEY SUE.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S TAKE THIS UP A NOTCH.
COME SAY HI, MICKEY!
COME ON, MICKEY!
OH, THAT'S NICE.
HERE HE IS!
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
AND GREAT NEWS, AS OF JANUARY 1
NEXT YEAR, THIS MASCOT COSTUME
WILL BE AVAILABLE TO YOU FOR
BIRTHDAY PARTIES, THEME PARK
OPENINGS, FUNERALS, SEX DUNGEONS
- BASICALLY, WHATEVER YOU WANT
TO USE IT FOR.
HEY THERE, MICKEY!
Mickey: WHERE'S SHELLEY?
John: OH, THERE HE GOES
AGAIN!
Mickey: JEFFREY EPSTEIN
DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF!
John: OH, THAT'S THREE
CATCHPHRASES!
2024 IS ONLY 274 DAYS AWAY!
THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS!
THAT IS OUR SHOW, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING.
WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪