>> John: HEY THERE, IT'S ME.
THE SHOW HASN'T STARTED YET.
I MEAN, CLEARLY, IT'S STARTED A
LITTLE BIT.
I AM ALREADY TALKING TO YOU.
BUT BEFORE THE MUSIC AND THE
LIGHTS AND AT LEAST --
THEORETICALLY -- THE LAUGHTER --
I WANTED TO BRIEFLY TALK TO YOU
ABOUT WHAT'S CLEARLY BEEN A
TERRIBLE WEEK.
THE IMMENSE SUFFERING IN ISRAEL
AND GAZA HAS BEEN SICKENING TO
WATCH.
AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE
COVERING IT IN THE MAIN BODY OF
OUR SHOW TONIGHT, FOR A COUPLE
OF REASONS.
FIRST, IT'S HORRIFIC.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TELL
JOKES ABOUT CARNAGE RIGHT NOW,
AND I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DON'T
WANT TO HEAR THEM.
AND SECOND, WE'RE TAPING THIS ON
SATURDAY AFTERNOON, AND YOU'LL
BE WATCHING IT SUNDAY NIGHT, OR
MONDAY MORNING THROUGH AN
ILLEGAL VPN -- I DO KNOW WHO I
AM TALKING TO.
BUT THE POINT IS, GIVEN HOW FAST
THINGS ARE MOVING, A LOT COULD
CHANGE BETWEEN THE TIME I'M
SAYING THIS, AND THE TIME THAT
YOU HEAR IT.
BUT I DO HAVE A FEW BROAD
THOUGHTS THAT I THINK WILL STILL
APPLY.
AND THEY HAVE TO DO WITH SORROW,
FEAR AND ANGER.
NOW SORROW IS THE FIRST AND MOST
OVERWHELMING FEELING.
THE IMAGES WE'VE SEEN THIS WEEK,
FROM LAST SATURDAY ONWARDS, HAVE
BEEN HEARTBREAKING.
THOUSANDS ARE NOW DEAD IN ISRAEL
AND GAZA.
IT'S BEEN DEVASTATING, NOT JUST
TO THOSE IN THE REGION BUT TO
DIASPORA COMMUNITIES ACROSS THE
WORLD.
WHATEVER THOUGHTS YOU HAVE ABOUT
THE HISTORY OF THIS REGION, OR
THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS --
AND I'VE SHARED MINE ON THIS
SHOW IN THE PAST -- IT SHOULD BE
IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE GRIEVING
FAMILIES AND NOT BE MOVED.
SO THERE'S BEEN SORROW THIS
WEEK, A LOT OF IT, AND ALSO
FEAR.
UNDERSTANDABLE FEAR OF FURTHER
ATTACKS IN ISRAEL.
AND FOR THOSE TAKEN HOSTAGE.
AND FEAR OF WHAT'S TO COME IN
GAZA, AS ISRAEL'S LEADERS SEEM
INTENT ON EMBARKING ON A
RELENTLESS BOMBING CAMPAIGN,
MASS DISPLACEMENT, AND
A POTENTIAL GROUND INVASION.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THINGS STAND
IN GAZA AS YOU WATCH THIS RIGHT
NOW, BUT ALL SIGNS SEEM TO BE
POINTING TOWARD A HUMANITARIAN
CATASTROPHE.
ISRAELI OFFICIALS ANNOUNCED
PLANS TO CUT OFF WATER, FUEL,
AND POWER.
HOSPITALS ARE RUNNING ON
GENERATORS.
THIS HAS ALL THE APPEARANCES OF
COLLECTIVE PUNISHMENT, WHICH IS
A WAR CRIME.
AND I THINK MANY ISRAELIS AND
PALESTINIANS ARE FEELING
JUSTIFIABLE ANGER RIGHT NOW --
NOT JUST AT HAMAS, WHOSE HEINOUS
TERRORIST ACTS SET THE WEEK'S
EVENTS IN MOTION, BUT ALSO AT
THE ZEALOTS AND EXTREMISTS,
ACROSS THE BOARD, WHO'VE
CONSISTENTLY THWARTED ATTEMPTS
AT PEACE OVER THE YEARS.
ISRAELIS AND PALESTINIANS HAVE
BEEN LET DOWN BY THEIR
LEADERSHIP TIME AND TIME AGAIN,
AND I DON'T HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF
FAITH IN THE LEADERS CURRENTLY
IN CHARGE TO STEER US TOWARD
PEACE.
BUT I DO STILL HAVE SOME HOPE.
BECAUSE THE EASIEST THING TO DO
IN THE WORLD, AFTER A WEEK LIKE
THIS, IS TO ENGAGE IN
BLOODTHIRSTY RHETORIC.
AND THERE'S CERTAINLY BEEN
PLENTY OF THAT FROM THOSE IN
POWER.
BUT I WILL SAY, I'VE BEEN STRUCK
BY THE MANY ORDINARY CITIZENS,
BOTH ISRAELI AND PALESTINIAN,
WHO'VE CALLED FOR RESTRAINT THIS
WEEK, AND NOT REVENGE.
JUST LISTEN TO HOW NOI KATZMAN,
WHOSE BROTHER HAYIM WAS MURDERED
BY HAMAS LAST SATURDAY, CHOSE TO
END THIS INTERVIEW.
>> I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
>> CAN I SAY ONE MORE THING?
>> YEAH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR --
>> YEAH, SO, WHAT I WANTED TO
SAY IS, THE MOST IMPORTANT FOR
ME, AND I THINK ALSO FOR MY
BROTHER, WAS THAT HIS DEATH
WON'T BE USED TO KILL INNOCENT
PEOPLE.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN
TO PEOPLE IN GAZA LIKE IT
HAPPENS TO MY BROTHER.
AND I'M SURE HE WOULDN'T HAVE
ANY -- EITHER.
SO THAT'S MY CALL TO MY
GOVERNMENT.
STOP KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE.
AND THAT'S NOT THE WAY THAT
BRINGS US PEACE AND SECURITY TO
PEOPLE IN ISRAEL.
>> John: RIGHT.
PEOPLE WANT AND ARE ENTITLED TO
PEACE.
AND I'M NOT GOING TO TELL EITHER
SIDE HOW TO GET IT -- CERTAINLY
NOT IN THIS ACCENT, WHICH HAS
FRANKLY DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE IN
THAT PARTICULAR REGION TO LAST
A FUCKING LIFETIME.
BUT JUST KNOW, IN THE LONG TERM,
ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LIVE
IN THAT REGION ARE GOING TO KEEP
LIVING THERE.
SO PEACE IS NOT OPTIONAL, AND
WILL REQUIRE SOME TOUGH
DECISIONS.
AND I CAN'T SAY WHERE A PEACE
PROCESS ENDS, BUT IT JUST HAS TO
START WITH THAT KIND OF ABILITY
TO RECOGNIZE OUR COMMON
HUMANITY.
THAT'S HONESTLY ALL I'VE GOT FOR
YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT WE DO STILL
HAVE OUR REGULAR COMEDY SHOW.
AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, I'LL
SEE YOU THE OTHER SIDE OF OUR
OPENING TITLES, WHEN THERE'LL BE
LIGHTS, THERE'LL BE MUSIC AND --
AGAIN, PURELY THEORETICALLY, NO
PRESSURE ON THE AUDIENCE -- AT
LEAST SOME SPORADIC LAUGHTER.
AND NOW, THIS.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR JOINING US.
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
RFK JR. ANNOUNCED HE'S RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT AS AN INDEPENDENT,
JADA PINKETT SMITH REVEALED THAT
SHE AND WILL HAVE BEEN SEPARATED
SINCE 2016, AND SENATOR
BOB MENENDEZ FOUND HIMSELF IN
WHAT'S KNOWN IN THE LEGAL WORLD
AS "EVEN DEEPER SHIT."
BUT WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON
WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING ON
CAPITOL HILL.
IT'S NOW BEEN A WEEK AND A HALF
SINCE EIGHT REPRESENTATIVES
STAGED A COUP AGAINST KEVIN
McCARTHY, AND EVER SINCE, THE
PARTY HAS BEEN STRUGGLING TO
PICK A NEW SPEAKER.
STEVE SCALISE WON A SECRET
BALLOT ON WEDNESDAY TO BE PUT
FORWARD FOR A VOTE AS SPEAKER,
ONLY TO WITHDRAW THE FOLLOWING
DAY, AFTER IT BECAME CLEAR HE
WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WIN A
MAJORITY.
AND ONE NOTABLE HOUSE MEMBER
SUMMED UP WHY HE PERSONALLY
COULD NEVER VOTE FOR SCALISE.
>> I'VE REACHED OUT NUMEROUS
TIMES TO CONGRESSMAN SCALISE,
AND ME REACHING OUT AND ASKING
HIM FOR GUIDANCE IN HIS
LEADERSHIP AND HIM NOT REACHING
BACK OUT, THAT'S A DERELICTION
OF HIS DUTY AS A LEADER, SO I'M
NOT VOTING FOR SOMEBODY WHO
LACKS FUNDAMENTAL LEADERSHIP
SKILLS.
>> IS HE SNUBBING YOU?
>> I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T CARE,
QUITE FRANKLY.
>> John: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT
THAT?
BECAUSE IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE
IT'S BECAUSE SCALISE SNUBBED
YOU.
HONESTLY, SANTOS SAYING "I DON'T
CARE" IN A TONE THAT MAKES IT
CLEAR HE ABSOLUTELY CARES,
MIGHT BE THE MOST TRANSPARENT
LIE THAT HE'S EVER TOLD.
WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING,
BECAUSE REMEMBER -- THIS IS A
MAN WHO SAID HE WAS A STAR
VOLLEYBALL PLAYER AT A COLLEGE
HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO, AND SAID
9/11 CLAIMED HIS MOTHER'S LIFE
EVEN THOUGH RECORDS SHOW THAT
SHE WASN'T IN NEW YORK AND SHE
DIED IN 2016.
FOR GEORGE SANTOS, AN ALMOST
CLINICALLY CHAOTIC MAN, TO
DECIDE YOU DON'T HAVE
FUNDAMENTAL LEADERSHIP SKILLS IS
TRULY DAMNING.
ALL WEEK LONG, REPUBLICANS MET
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS TO TRY AND
PICK A LEADER.
ALTHOUGH GLIMPSES OF CHAOS KEPT
LEAKING INTO PUBLIC VIEW, LIKE
WHEN ONE REPRESENTATIVE WAS SEEN
BRINGING A LASSO INTO THE
SESSION.
AND YOU KNOW THINGS ARE MESSY
WHEN A U.S. CONGRESSWOMAN WALKS
DOWN THE HALLWAY WITH SOME HORSE
EQUIPMENT AND ALL ANYONE CAN SAY
IS, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!"
MEANWHILE, REPRESENTATIVE
NANCY MACE -- ONE OF THE EIGHT
WHO OUSTED McCARTHY -- SHOWED UP
WEARING A RED "A," AND OFFERED
THIS UTTERLY INCOHERENT
EXPLANATION.
>> I'M WEARING THE SCARLET
LETTER AFTER THE WEEK THAT I
JUST HAD LAST WEEK, BEING A
WOMAN UP HERE AND BEING
DEMONIZED FOR MY VOTE AND FOR MY
VOICE.
I'M HERE TO LET THE REST OF THE
WORLD KNOW, AND THE COUNTRY
KNOW, I'M ON THE SIDE OF THE
PEOPLE.
I'M NOT ON THE SIDE OF THE
ESTABLISHMENT, AND I'M GOING TO
DO THE RIGHT THING EVERY SINGLE
TIME, NO MATTER THE
CONSEQUENCES, 'CAUSE I DON'T
ANSWER TO ANYBODY IN D.C., I
DON'T ANSWER TO ANYONE IN
WASHINGTON, I ONLY ANSWER TO THE
PEOPLE.
>> John: WAIT, WHAT DO YOU
THINK "THE SCARLET LETTER" IS
ABOUT?
AND NOBODY HELP HER, LET NANCY
ANSWER.
I WANT TO HEAR EXACTLY WHAT SHE
THINKS THE 19TH CENTURY NOVEL
"THE SCARLET LETTER" IS ABOUT.
DO YOU THINK HESTER PRYNNE HAD
TO WEAR A SCARLET "A" BECAUSE
SHE GIRLBOSSED TOO HARD FOR
PURITANICAL NEW ENGLAND?
I'M JUST SAYING, MAYBE READ A
BOOK BEFORE YOU TRY AND COMPARE
YOURSELF TO ITS PROTAGONIST.
THERE'S A REASON I WOULDN'T SAY
I'M LIKE CHRISTIAN GREY BECAUSE
I ALSO WEAR A SUIT.
THAT'S NOT WHAT THE BOOK IS
ABOUT, AND, LET'S BE HONEST,
THIS SUIT WEARS ME.
BUT IT WASN'T JUST MACE AND
SANTOS, LOTS OF MEMBERS WERE
TALKING SHIT TO THE PRESS, WITH
ONE COMPARING DISCUSSIONS TO "A
MARRIAGE COUNSELING SESSION" AND
ANOTHER LIKENING THE PARTY'S
ANTICS TO THE TV SHOW
"HOUSE OF CARDS."
WHICH I GUESS IS TRUE IN THAT IT
WAS KIND OF FUN TO WATCH AT
FIRST, BUT NOW I'M JUST
EXHAUSTED BY IT.
THERE'S ACTUALLY ANOTHER WAY IN
WHICH THIS DRAMA'S LIKE
"HOUSE OF CARDS," AND IT
INVOLVES SOMETHING ONE OF ITS
KEY PROTAGONISTS, MATT GAETZ,
HAS IN COMMON WITH KEVIN SPACEY.
SADLY, MY LAWYERS TOLD ME I
CAN'T SAY WHAT IT IS.
BUT I CAN THINK IT.
AND SO CAN ALL OF YOU.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
AND TO HEAR SOME FRUSTRATED
HOUSE MEMBERS TELL IT, THE
FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEM IS THAT
THEIR PARTY AS A WHOLE IS NOW
SET UP TO REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR.
>> THESE GUYS WANT TO BE IN THE
MINORITY, I THINK THEY WOULD
PREFER THAT BECAUSE THEY CAN
JUST VOTE NO AND YELL AND SCREAM
ALL THE TIME.
AND -- BUT GOVERNING, YOU'VE GOT
TO WORK TOGETHER.
>> IT'S A TOUGH SCENARIO, BUT
THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THERE THAT
ARE HONORABLY TRYING TO GET TO
THE RIGHT PLACE, AND THEN THERE
ARE PEOPLE IN THERE, AS YOU
KNOW, THAT LIKE TO GO ON THE TV
AND ARE NOT NECESSARILY
NEGOTIATING FOR ANYTHING OTHER
THAN TV TIME.
>> HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU GUYS
LOOK?
>> IT MAKES US LOOK LIKE A BUNCH
OF IDIOTS.
>> John: YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE
RIGHT, YOU DO LOOK LIKE IDIOTS!
AND THE FACT THAT SOME OF YOUR
MEMBERS ARE DRESSING LIKE THEY
DECIDED THEY WERE GOING TO A
HALLOWEEN PARTY 20 MINUTES
AGO FRANKLY ISN'T HELPING.
BUT THOSE INCENTIVES THEY
MENTIONED AREN'T JUST AT THE
NATIONAL LEVEL.
AS THE AP POINTED OUT THIS
WEEK, INTERNAL CONFLICTS AND
POWER STRUGGLES HAVE BECOME
HALLMARKS OF THE MODERN GOP,
RIGHT DOWN TO THE STATE AND
LOCAL LEVELS.
IN OHIO, DEMOCRATS HAD TO CROSS
PARTY LINES TO END A STANDOFF
OVER WHO WOULD BECOME SPEAKER OF
THE HOUSE.
IN TEXAS, JUST THIS WEEK, THE
REPUBLICAN ATTORNEY GENERAL
SUGGESTED HE'D REQUEST CRIMINAL
CHARGES AGAINST MEMBERS OF HIS
OWN PARTY, WHO -- INCIDENTALLY
-- LED AN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL
AGAINST HIM LAST MONTH.
AND IN MICHIGAN, BACK IN JULY, A
STATE REPUBLICAN PARTY MEETING
DEVOLVED INTO VIOLENCE, WITH
THIS COUNTY CHAIR GETTING INTO A
BRAWL WITH A PARTY DELEGATE.
>> SURVEILLANCE VIDEO FROM
INSIDE THE HOTEL DOESN'T CAPTURE
THE INITIAL ENCOUNTER, BUT IT
DOES SHOW THE MELEE MOVING INTO
THE HALLWAY AS DEYOUNG FALLS
HARD ON HIS BACK.
HE TOLD POLICE HIS DENTURES WERE
DAMAGED DURING THE FRACAS.
>> I LITERALLY OPENED THE DOOR,
AND HE KICKED ME IN MY CROTCH.
>> OKAY.
>> I -- I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A
SECOND.
>> OKAY.
>> I DIDN'T HAVE A SECOND.
>> John: YEAH, HE WAS KICKED IN
THE BALLS.
AND I KNOW THAT'S THE
EYE-CATCHING PART OF THIS STORY,
BUT PLEASE DON'T SLEEP ON "HIS
DENTURES WERE DAMAGED DURING THE
FRACAS."
WHICH I ASSUME IS SOMETHING THAT
WILL BE SAID VERBATIM AFTER THE
FANTASY SUITE EPISODE OF
"THE GOLDEN BACHELOR."
THE POINT IS, THIS SORT OF
CHAOTIC REPUBLICAN INFIGHTING IS
NOW A FIRMLY ENTRENCHED PATTERN.
BACK IN WASHINGTON, JIM JORDAN
WAS NOMINATED TO BE SPEAKER ON
FRIDAY, BUT MOST PEOPLE THINK
HE'S UNLIKELY TO GET THE
NECESSARY VOTES, EITHER.
MEANING WE'RE LEFT WITHOUT A
SPEAKER, A POSITION ABSOLUTELY
VITAL TO A FUNCTIONING
GOVERNMENT.
BUT I GUESS THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN A PARTY, FOR YEARS, SIMPLY
REFUSES TO KEEP ITS EXTREMIST
FACTIONS IN CHECK.
THE SAD FACT IS, MANY CURRENT
REPUBLICANS, AT EVERY LEVEL,
DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO SERVE IN
GOVERNMENT AT ALL -- THEY JUST
WANT TO DISMANTLE IT AND STAND
ATOP THE RUBBLE FOR A TV HIT.
THAT'S THE KEY REASON WHY, AS OF
TAPING, ANY HOPES OF AN ORDERLY
TRANSITION OF POWER FROM ONE
HOUSE SPEAKER TO ANOTHER HAVE
BEEN -- MUCH LIKE THIS MICHIGAN
GOP COUNTY CHAIR'S TESTICLES --
HUMILIATINGLY CRUSHED.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW, JIM
CRAMER IS TOTALLY UNTROUBLED BY
HIS HATERS.
>> GETTING IT RIGHT MEANS
LOGICAL DECISIONS.
THAT'S TOUGH TO DO, ESPECIALLY
WHEN YOU'RE DOING IN PUBLIC AS I
DO, AND YOU'VE GOT A LEGION OF
HATERS WHO FRANKLY WISH YOU'D
QUIT.
I LOVE THE HATERS.
I WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS IF
WEREN'T FOR THEM.
I WOULD'VE GOTTEN OUT FOR THEM.
I'M A SPITEFUL DRIVEN GUY TO
THE HATERS AND EVERYONE IN MY
PERSONAL LIFE KNOWS THAT.
TO ALL THE HATERS OUT THERE
FIRST OF ALL, HI, HATERS.
HI, HATERS.
NOW THE HATERS ARE COMING OUT OF
THE WOODWORK.
IN YOUR FACE, HATERS.
HATERS GOING TO HATE, RIGHT?
I GOT THIS ONE RIGHT.
MUST HAVE JUST CRUSHED THEM.
I GOT NO HATERS ANYMORE.
I JUST GOT PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE
ME AS MUCH.
I DON'T FEAR THE HATER.
PERHAPS IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER
WAY AROUND.
IF ALL I CARED ABOUT PEOPLE WHO
ARE HATING ME, THEN I'D JUST BE
UNDER THAT TABLE, JUST SAYING.
I'D BE A LAPDOG.
>> YEAH, THAT'S NOT GOING TO
HAPPEN.
>> NO.
>> NO, YOU'D BE FEEDING ME
PURINA.
>> YEAH, I WOULD.
>> NO, MAYBE SOME KIBBLES.
>> YOU LIKE KIBBLES?
>> I DO.
OR MAYBE BLUE BUFF FROM GENERAL
MILLS.
OR CHEWY?
YOU COULD PUT ME RIGHT DOWN
THERE.
>> LET'S GET TO AN OPENING
BELL, HOW ABOUT WE DO THAT?
>> OKAY, RIGHT.
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
FOOD.
WHETHER YOU'RE A VEGAN, A
CARNIVORE, OR SOMEWHERE IN
BETWEEN, ALL OF IT IS EITHER
RIPPED FROM ITS HOME OR DIES
SCREAMING.
FOOD IS FUN!
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT FOOD SAFETY.
IT'S A VITAL COMPONENT OF PUBLIC
HEALTH, AS DEMONSTRATED BY THIS
OLD PSA ABOUT A MILITARY BASE
HAVING TO DEAL WITH AN OUTBREAK
OF SALMONELLA.
>> AT MIDNIGHT, ABOUT 40 OF US
IN THE DUTY SECTION GOT A LIGHT
MEAL.
IT WAS JUST ABOUT THIS TIME THAT
THINGS WERE BEGINNING TO HAPPEN.
IT BEGAN LIKE THIS: AT FIRST A
FEW OF THE MEN WHO WEREN'T IN
THE DUTY SECTION GOT SICK.
AND IT GOT STEADILY WORSE.
VOMITING, ABDOMINAL PAINS, AND
DIARRHEA.
IT WAS HARD TO TELL WHICH CAUSED
THE MOST TROUBLE.
>> John: EXCEPT IT ISN'T,
BECAUSE DIARRHEA CAUSES THE MOST
TROUBLE.
THERE'S JUST NO DOUBT ABOUT
THAT.
IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN
THOSE THREE SYMPTOMS, DIARRHEA
IS DEAD LAST, EVERY SINGLE TIME.
ABDOMINAL PAINS -- NOT FUN, BUT
ALSO, GROW UP.
SOMETIMES YOUR TUMMY HURTS;
THAT'S LIFE.
VOMITING -- AWFUL, BUT AT LEAST
YOU CAN SOMEWHAT CONTROL THE
TRAJECTORY.
IT IS POSSIBLE TO DAINTILY VOMIT
IN PUBLIC.
BUT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY
TO RETAIN ANY SHRED OF DIGNITY
ONCE YOU HAVE SHAT YOURSELF.
IT'S GAME OVER.
YOU CAN'T COME BACK FROM THAT.
YOU'RE BASICALLY AN ANIMAL, YOU
LIVE AT THE ZOO NOW.
ODDS ARE, YOU'VE PROBABLY
EXPERIENCED GETTING SICK FROM
FOOD AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE,
BECAUSE IT HAPPENS A LOT.
EVERY YEAR, AN ESTIMATED 46
MILLION AMERICANS ARE SICKENED
BY FOODBORNE ILLNESS, AND OF
THEM, 128,000 ARE HOSPITALIZED,
AND ABOUT 3,000 DIE.
NOW, OBVIOUSLY, IT'S IN THE
PUBLIC INTEREST TO TRY AND
PREVENT ANY OF THAT FROM
HAPPENING -- WHICH IS WHY, SO
OFTEN, YOU'LL TURN ON THE TV AND
SEE STORIES LIKE THESE.
>> KRAFT HEINZ HAS VOLUNTARILY
RECALLED 7,000 CASES OF
TACO BELL SALSA CON QUESO MILD
CHEESE DIP OUT OF BOTULISM
CONCERNS.
>> AN EXPANDED RECALL OF PEACHES
LINKED TO A SALMONELLA OUTBREAK.
>> SEVERAL JIF PEANUT BUTTER
PRODUCTS ARE BEING PULLED FROM
THE SHELVES.
>> STORES CANNOT SELL THIS
CEREAL LEGALLY BECAUSE OF THIS
RECALL.
SO, IF YOU HAVE THE HONEY SMACKS
IN YOUR PANTRY, PLEASE THROW IT
OUT.
>> John: OKAY, COUPLE OF THINGS
THERE -- ON THE FIRST ONE,
HONESTLY, I'D ALWAYS ASSUMED
THAT ALL TACO BELL JARRED
PRODUCTS COULD GIVE YOU
BOTULISM.
YOU WANT THE SPICE, YOU ROLL THE
DICE.
EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS THAT.
AND AS FOR "THROW OUT YOUR HONEY
SMACKS," THAT'S PRETTY GOOD
ADVICE EVEN WHEN THERE'S NOT A
RECALL, BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS
SHIT.
IT LOOKS LIKE MAGGOTS GLAZED
WITH SUGAR.
AND THAT'S WITHOUT GETTING INTO
THE MASCOT.
WHO IS THIS?
CEREAL MASCOTS ARE SUPPOSED TO
BE CHARMING, WHETHER THEY'RE A
CULTURAL STEREOTYPE THAT THIS
ACCENT DOESN'T GET TO ENJOY, OR
AN INAPPROPRIATELY SEXY TIGER,
BUT THIS?
THIS IS NOTHING.
WHY DOES YOUR SHIRT SAY "DIG
'EM?"
DIG WHAT?
THE HONEY SMACKS?
ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU AMPHIBIAN
PERVERT.
AND LOOK, WHEN YOU SEE STORIES
LIKE THOSE, YOU'D ASSUME THAT
THE GOVERNMENT IS CONSTANTLY ON
THE LOOKOUT FOR POTENTIALLY
DANGEROUS FOOD.
BUT IT'S BECOME INCREASINGLY
CLEAR THAT OUR FOOD SAFETY
SYSTEM -- IN PARTICULAR, THE
FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION,
WHICH OVERSEES MOST OF IT -- HAS
SOME SERIOUS SHORTCOMINGS.
IN 2016, AN AUDIT DONE BY THE
AGENCY ITSELF FOUND UNACCEPTABLE
DELAYS IN GETTING DANGEROUS FOOD
OFF THE SHELVES -- FINDING THAT
IN 30 RECALLS, IT TOOK AN
AVERAGE OF 57 DAYS FROM WHEN THE
FDA WAS NOTIFIED.
AND THE AUTHOR OF THAT REPORT
ACKNOWLEDGED THAT WAS A BIG
PROBLEM.
>> UNLESS YOU GET ALL THE
PRODUCT OFF THE SHELF, PEOPLE
STILL ARE AT RISK.
IF YOU ARE PLAYING RUSSIAN
ROULETTE, YOU TOOK ALL THE
BULLETS OUT OF THE GUN AND YOU
PUT IT TO YOUR HEAD THERE'S NO
RISK.
BUT IF THERE'S STILL A COUPLE OF
BULLETS LEFT IN THERE, YOU'RE
STILL PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE,
AREN'T YOU?
>> John: WOW, THAT IS AN
ALARMINGLY APT METAPHOR FOR THE
CURRENT SAFETY OF OUR FOOD
SUPPLY.
ALTHOUGH, REAL QUICK, IF YOU'RE
PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE AND YOU
TAKE ALL THE BULLETS OUT OF THE
GUN, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH: YOU
ARE NO LONGER PLAYING RUSSIAN
ROULETTE.
YOU'RE IN A COMMUNITY THEATER
PRODUCTION OF THE SEAGULL.
I HAD TO LEAVE AT INTERMISSION
BUT YOU WERE SO GOOD.
AND YOU MIGHT REMEMBER, THE
FDA'S SHORTCOMINGS WERE BADLY
EXPOSED LAST YEAR, WHEN ABBOTT,
A COMPANY THAT MAKES 40% OF THIS
COUNTRY'S BABY FORMULA, SHUT
DOWN ITS FACTORY OVER SERIOUS
SAFETY VIOLATIONS -- VIOLATIONS
THE FDA CLEARLY SHOULD'VE ACTED
ON MUCH SOONER.
>> A SIGN OF TROUBLE CAME LAST
SEPTEMBER IN A REPORT TO THE
FDA, AN INFANT WHO BECAME ILL
WITH A RARE BACTERIAL INFECTION
HAD CONSUMED FORMULA MADE AT THE
ABBOTT PLANT.
IN OCTOBER, AN ABBOTT
WHISTLEBLOWER SENT FDA OFFICIALS
THIS 34-PAGE DOCUMENT ALLEGING
THAT LAX PRACTICES INCLUDING
REGULATORY VIOLATIONS WERE
CONSISTENTLY OVERLOOKED.
IT WASN'T UNTIL JANUARY 31ST
THAT THE FDA SENT A TEAM TO THE
ABBOTT FACILITY TO INVESTIGATE.
THERE THEY FOUND EVIDENCE OF
BACTERIA IN A POWDERED INFANT
FORMULA ENVIRONMENT THAT CAN BE
DEADLY TO INFANTS.
>> John: IT'S TRUE, THE FDA TOOK
FOUR MONTHS FROM THEIR FIRST
SIGN SOMETHING WAS WRONG TO DO A
FOLLOW-UP INSPECTION.
AND AT THAT POINT, AT LEAST FOUR
BABIES HAD BEEN HOSPITALIZED,
AND TWO DIED.
EVEN AN INTERNAL FDA REPORT
AFTERWARDS CONCLUDED THE AGENCY
HAD "SYSTEMIC VULNERABILITIES,"
AND A MUCH MORE SCATHING OUTSIDE
AUDIT FAULTED THEM FOR LACK OF
COMMUNICATION AND ENGAGEMENT
ACROSS THE AGENCY.
BUT THE TRUTH IS, "SCATHING
REPORT FINDS FAULT WITH THE FDA"
IS JUST NOT A NEW STORY.
IT'S HAPPENED AGAIN AND AGAIN
AND AGAIN.
YOU CAN FIND SIMILAR REPORTS IN
2010, 1991, AND EVEN THIS ONE,
FROM BACK IN 1969.
>> THE AMERICAN CONSUMER IS
SURROUNDED BY AN ARSENAL OF
PRODUCTS WHICH CAN KILL OR MAIM
HIM.
AND THE FOOD & DRUG
ADMINISTRATION HAS NEITHER THE
MONEY NOR THE AUTHORITY TO DO
MUCH ABOUT IT.
THAT'S THE GIST OF A
CONFIDENTIAL REPORT PREPARED BY
SEVEN SENIOR MEMBERS OF THE FDA.
>> John: THAT'S WALTER CRONKITE
FLAGGING THE STATE OF THE FDA AS
A SERIOUS PROBLEM, HALF A
CENTURY AGO.
AND IF SOMETHING HE REPORTED ON
IS STILL AN ISSUE, YOU KNOW
YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
I'M JUST SAYING, IF JFK WAS
STILL REGULARLY GETTING SHOT IN
DALLAS, YOU'D REALLY HOPE
SOMEBODY WOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING
ABOUT IT BY NOW.
SO GIVEN WE'VE KNOWN THE WAY THE
FDA REGULATES FOOD IS SOME
VERSION OF FUCKED FOR DECADES,
TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
EXACTLY WHY THAT IS, AND WHY
IT'S BEEN SO HARD TO FIX.
AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT
THAT -- DESPITE THE FDA STANDING
FOR "FOOD AND DRUG
ADMINISTRATION" -- THE TWO PARTS
OF THAT ARE NOT GIVEN REMOTELY
EQUAL WEIGHT.
DRUGS ARE PRIORITIZED HEAVILY.
FDA COMMISSIONERS ALMOST ALWAYS
COME FROM THE MEDICAL SIDE, AND
HAVE ALMOST NO EXPERIENCE WITH
FOOD ISSUES.
AND APPARENTLY, IT'S A
LONG-RUNNING JOKE AMONG FDA
OFFICIALS THAT THE "F" IN "FDA"
IS SILENT.
IN FACT, ITS OWN STAFF --
INCLUDING SOME FDA COMMISSIONERS
-- HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO SLIP UP
AND CALL IT THE FEDERAL DRUG
ADMINISTRATION.
AND, COME ON.
THERE'S ONLY TWO THINGS TO
REMEMBER IN THE NAME: FOOD AND
DRUGS.
IF YOU NEED A HELPFUL MNEMONIC
FOR IT, JUST REMEMBER THIS
SIMPLE PHRASE: "FOOD AND DRUGS."
IT'S TWO FUCKING WORDS.
ALSO, INTERESTINGLY, THE FDA
DOESN'T ACTUALLY OVERSEE THE
SAFETY OF ALL FOOD IN THE U.S.
IT OVERSEES AROUND 80% OF IT,
BUT THE REMAINING 20% LARGELY
FALLS UNDER THE USDA'S FOOD
SAFETY AND INSPECTION SERVICE.
AND THE DIVISION OF
RESPONSIBILITIES CAN GET
MADDENINGLY COMPLICATED.
WHILE BROADLY, THE USDA OVERSEES
BEEF, POULTRY, AND SOME EGG
PRODUCTS, AND THE FDA OVERSEES
THE REST, IN PRACTICE, WHERE THE
EXACT LINES GETS DRAWN CAN GET
RIDICULOUS.
>> TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
BEEF BROTH, MADE IN A PLANT
REGULATED BY THE USDA, WHICH
INSPECTS EVERY DAY.
BUT CHICKEN BROTH, MADE IN A
PLANT REGULATED BY THE FDA,
WHICH IS INSPECTED ONCE EVERY 5
YEARS.
IN THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE, CHEESE
PIZZA IS REGULATED BY THE FDA.
PEPPERONI PIZZA?
WELL, THAT'S THE USDA.
THE FISH?
WELL, THAT'S FDA,
EXCEPT ONE, CATFISH, THAT'S
USDA.
>> John: YEAH, IT'S PRETTY
CONFUSING.
IT CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT TO
GUESS WHICH AGENCY OVERSEES
WHICH KINDS OF FOOD.
FOR EXAMPLE, EGGS IN THEIR
SHELLS?
FDA.
EGGS PROCESSED INTO EGG
PRODUCTS?
USDA.
THE FEED THAT EGG-LAYING HENS
EAT?
FDA AGAIN.
OPEN-FACED MEAT SANDWICH?
USDA, BUT CLOSED-FACED MEAT
SANDWICH?
THAT'S FDA.
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW, IF YOU MAKE
A HALF CHEESE HALF PEPPERONI
PIZZA AND THEN PUT AN EGG ON
TOP, THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT
ACTUALLY EXPLODES.
AND THE THING IS, THAT
FRACTURED STRUCTURE CAN CREATE
A LOT OF CRACKS FOR PROBLEMS TO
FALL INTO.
THEN, THERE ARE THE FUNDING
ISSUES.
BECAUSE DESPITE THE FACT THE FDA
OVERSEES, REMEMBER, 80% OF FOOD
-- THEY AND THE USDA RECEIVE
CLOSE TO THE SAME AMOUNT OF
FUNDING FOR FOOD SAFETY
OVERSIGHT.
MEANING THE FDA ESSENTIALLY HAS
TO MAKE THE SAME BUDGET GO FOUR
TIMES AS FAR.
ON TOP OF THAT, THE FDA'S JOB IS
MUCH MORE COMPLEX.
BECAUSE WHILE THE USDA'S WORK IS
CONCENTRATED IN LARGE
MEAT-PROCESSING PLANTS -- OF
WHICH WE HAVE RELATIVELY FEW,
AROUND 800 -- THE FDA'S PURVIEW
INCLUDES ABOUT 35,000 PRODUCE
FARMS, 300,000 RESTAURANT CHAIN
ESTABLISHMENTS, 10,500 VENDING
MACHINE OPERATORS, AND ROUGHLY
275,000 FOOD PROCESSING
FACILITIES, MORE THAN HALF OF
WHICH ARE OVERSEAS.
VERY BASICALLY, THE FDA IS
SPREAD EXTREMELY THIN, AND THE
USDA ISN'T.
AND THIS DISCREPANCY HELPS
EXPLAIN A SHOCKING FACT THAT
CAME TO LIGHT AFTER THAT BABY
FORMULA INCIDENT LAST YEAR,
REGARDING THE SIZE OF THE FDA
TEAM THAT'S TASKED WITH
OVERSEEING THOSE PARTICULAR
FACTORIES.
>> IT'S A TOTAL OF NINE PEOPLE
WHO ARE FOCUSED ON INFANT
FORMULA, AT THE FDA, AND THE
BUDGET.
WE GOT AN ADDITIONAL FOUR PEOPLE
ALLOCATED LAST YEAR.
BUT WE'RE GOING TO NEED MORE
THAN THAT.
>> John: THAT'S TRUE, THE ENTIRE
DEPARTMENT OVERSEEING INFANT
FORMULA WAS JUST NINE PEOPLE!
AND THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!
FOR CONTEXT, THIS SHOW HAS FOUR
INTERNS.
AND WE NEED ALL OF THEM!
BUT THE STAKES OF THEIR JOBS ARE
JUST NOT NEARLY AS HIGH.
THEIR ONLY LIFE-OR-DEATH DUTY IS
MAKING SURE MR. NUTTERBUTTER
DOESN'T GET OUT OF HIS CAGE.
OH, SHIT, OH, SHIT.
EVERYBODY STAY INCREDIBLY STILL.
SO CLEARLY, SOME OF THE FDA'S
ISSUES COME FROM WITHOUT, IN HOW
IT'S STRUCTURED AND FUNDED.
BUT SOME OF ITS PROBLEMS COME
FROM WITHIN -- LIKE THE FACT
THAT EVEN BY GOVERNMENT
STANDARDS, IT HAS AN INFAMOUSLY
SLOW BUREAUCRACY.
TAKE, FOR INSTANCE, THIS VERY
SPECIFIC ANNOUNCEMENT THEY MADE
AT THE END OF 2020.
>> A SHAKEUP FOR FRENCH DRESSING
FANS.
THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION
IS PROPOSING REMOVING INGREDIENT
REQUIREMENTS FOR THE SALAD
DRESSING AT THE REQUEST OF THE
ASSOCIATION FOR DRESSINGS AND
SAUCES.
RIGHT NOW, DRESSING MUST INCLUDE
VINEGAR, OIL, AND LEMON OR LIME
IN ORDER TO BE CALLED "FRENCH."
>> John: NOW, I KNOW THAT WAS
ABOUT AN FDA RULING.
BUT THE ONLY THING I'M THINKING
ABOUT AFTER WATCHING THAT CLIP
IS THE ASSOCIATION FOR DRESSINGS
AND SAUCES.
I NOW WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT THEM.
I'M GUESSING RANCH AND BARBECUE
SAUCE ARE THE HEAVYWEIGHTS
THERE.
MAYO TOO, OBVIOUSLY.
AND THERE'S PROBABLY TURMOIL
OVER THE HOT YOUNG NEWCOMERS:
TRUFFLE KETCHUP, GREEN GODDESS
DRESSING, ALL THE FLASHY STUFF.
I GET IT.
BUT WHO DO YOU THINK THE BLACK
SHEEP OF THE ORGANIZATION ARE?
WORCESTERSHIRE?
MAYBE SOME OF THE MORE FUCKED UP
MUSTARDS?
THIS IS THE ONLY THING I'M
INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT NOW.
JUST KNOW, ANYTIME I'M TALKING
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, 90% OF MY
BRAIN IS STILL FOCUSED ON THE
ASSOCIATION FOR DRESSINGS AND
SAUCES.
BUT THE POINT OF SHOWING YOU
THAT CLIP IS THAT THE FDA MADE
THAT ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END OF
2020, AFTER MY NEW FAVORITE
TRADE GROUP ASKED THEM TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THE DEFINITION
OF FRENCH DRESSING, BACK IN --
AND THIS IS TRUE -- 1998.
AND WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THE
DECISION, THEY DIDN'T EVEN
EXPLAIN WHY IT TOOK THEM MORE
THAN TWO DECADES -- SPANNING ONE
9/11, AND THE DISSOLUTION OF THE
SPICE GIRLS -- TO ARRIVE AT THAT
DECISION.
BUT ALL OF THIS DYSFUNCTION HAS
REAL CONSEQUENCES.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST BABY
FORMULA OR HONEY SMACKS THAT CAN
CAUSE ILLNESS.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST
VULNERABILITIES IN OUR CURRENT
SYSTEM ACTUALLY HAS TO DO WITH
LEAFY GREENS.
THEY'RE OVERSEEN BY THE FDA, AND
ARE A MAJOR SOURCE OF FOOD
CONTAMINATION.
AND ONE OF THE KEY REASONS FOR
THAT IS THAT LARGE INDUSTRIAL
FARMS HAVE BECOME MORE COMMON,
WITH LIVESTOCK RAISED EXTREMELY
CLOSE TO WHERE CROPS ARE BEING
GROWN, AND SOMETIMES EVEN
SHARING A WATER SOURCE.
AND THAT -- AS THIS EXPERT
EXPLAINS -- CAN BE A REAL ISSUE.
>> HOW WE RAISE ANIMALS CAN FUEL
THE GROWTH OF THESE BUGS.
SO, IF WE CROWD THE ANIMALS
TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE ONE THAT'S
CARRYING A REALLY BAD PATHOGEN
LIKE E. COLI O157, THEN THEY CAN
POOP THOSE BACTERIA OUT, AND
THEN THE SHIT FROM THE CATTLE
WASHES OFF INTO THE -- INTO THE
STREAMS OR INTO CANALS,
IRRIGATION CANALS.
AND THEN THOSE CAN BE USED TO
WATER THESE PLANTS.
WE HAVE THIS DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM
FOR THESE PATHOGENS FROM ANIMALS
TO PRODUCE.
>> John: NOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF
EXCELLENT PRODUCTION CHOICES IN
THAT DOCUMENTARY, INCLUDING
DECIDING TO BOTH CINEMATICALLY
SHOOT A COW SHITTING, AND ALLOW
SOMEONE TO SAY THE WORD "SHIT."
I SUPPORT THAT CHOICE.
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR LITTLE
PLEASANTRIES LIKE "FECES" AND
"MANURE," BUT IT'S COW SHIT!
CALL IT WHAT IT IS.
WE KNOW IT WHEN WE SEE IT, IF
NOT ALWAYS WHEN WE EAT IT.
BUT THE POINT IS, THAT SHIT CAN
GO FROM THE ANIMALS, INTO WATER,
WHICH IS THEN SPRAYED DIRECTLY
ONTO THE LETTUCE.
AND GIVEN THE GROWTH IN BOXED
AND BAGGED SALADS, JUST ONE HEAD
OF CONTAMINATED LETTUCE CAN GET
SPREAD OUT ACROSS A LOT OF
PEOPLE.
AND WHILE, WITH MEAT, YOU CAN
KILL OFF A LOT OF THE PATHOGENS
SIMPLY THROUGH THE ACT OF
COOKING IT.
WITH PRODUCE LIKE LEAFY GREENS,
YOUR OPTIONS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY
MORE LIMITED.
>> RINSING FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA, BUT
HEALTH EXPERTS SAY E. COLI ISN'T
EASILY WASHED AWAY.
>> I HAD A PROFESSOR WHO USED TO
SAY, "YOU CAN'T STERILIZE
LETTUCE WITH A BLOWTORCH."
>> John: WOW.
THAT IS A STRIKING THING FOR
YOUR PROFESSOR TO HAVE SAID.
ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, IT'S
TECHNICALLY NOT TRUE, BECAUSE
YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN STERILIZE
LETTUCE WITH A BLOWTORCH.
AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS,
JUST WATCH ME!
SEE, I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS A
GOOD IDEA, OR THAT IT TASTES
GOOD AFTERWARDS, I'M JUST SAYING
THAT YOU CLEARLY CAN STERILIZE
LETTUCE WITH A BLOWTORCH.
OKAY?
FACTS MATTER.
AND ALL OF THIS WOULD MAKE YOU
HOPE THAT OUR PRODUCE IS AS
THOROUGHLY INSPECTED AS OUR
BEEF, BUT THE OPPOSITE IS THE
CASE.
BECAUSE WHILE THERE ARE OVER
7,000 WORKERS OVERSEEING BEEF
FOR THE USDA, THERE ARE ONLY 614
FDA FIELD INVESTIGATORS
RESPONSIBLE FOR LEAFY GREENS.
AND I'D SAY THIS IS A DISASTER
WAITING TO HAPPEN, EXCEPT IT
ALREADY HAS HAPPENED, AND
REPEATEDLY.
IN 2018, AN E. COLI OUTBREAK IN
LEAFY GREENS SICKENED 240 PEOPLE
AND KILLED FIVE ACROSS 36
STATES.
LATER THAT SAME FALL, A
DIFFERENT E. COLI OUTBREAK HIT
-- AGAIN IN LEAFY GREENS -- BUT
THE FDA WAS SO TIED UP DEALING
WITH THE FIRST ONE THAT AN FDA
EXECUTIVE WROTE TO HIS
COLLEAGUES, "I HAVE NO RESOURCES
TO DEPLOY."
AND IT'S A LITTLE DISCONCERTING
THAT MESSAGES FROM A MODERN
PUBLIC HEALTH DEPARTMENT SOUND A
LOT LIKE MISSIVES FROM THE CIVIL
WAR.
AND AS THIS FOOD SAFETY EXPERT
EXPLAINS, ALL OF THAT LEADS TO A
TRULY STRIKING TRUTH.
>> WHEN YOU EAT A HAMBURGER,
THE -- THE MOST DANGEROUS PART
OF THAT IS NOT THE BURGER.
IT'S GOING TO BE THE ONION,
LETTUCE, AND THE TOMATOES.
>> John: THAT NOT GREAT TO HEAR,
IS IT?
PARTLY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO
LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE LETTUCE,
ONION, AND TOMATOES ARE
DANGEROUS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE I
DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD
WHERE GOING TO PANERA IS EDGY.
PANERA IS, AND SHOULD ALWAYS BE,
A MILQUETOAST SUBURBAN
DESTINATION WHERE WOMEN IN THEIR
50s GOSSIP, GIRLS IN THEIR
TEENS GOSSIP AND ONE VERY OLD
MAN EATS A BAGEL OVER THE COURSE
OF THREE HOURS.
PANERA SHOULD NOT BE EDGY, BUT
AS THE FDA SEEMS TO HAVE TURNED
A GREEK SALAD INTO A LOADED GUN,
I GUESS IT FUCKING IS NOW.
SO BY THIS POINT, IT SHOULD BE
CLEAR A MASSIVE OVERHAUL IS
NEEDED HERE.
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW, OVERHAULS
IN FOOD SAFETY CAN HAPPEN!
IT HAPPENED TO THE USDA 30
YEARS AGO, AFTER UNDERCOOKED
HAMBURGERS AT JACK IN THE BOX
RESTAURANTS LED TO ONE OF THE
WORST E. COLI OUTBREAKS IN U.S.
HISTORY.
FOUR CHILDREN DIED DURING THAT
-- SOMETHING THAT, JUST AS A
SIDE NOTE, JACK IN THE BOX
EXECUTIVES AT THE TIME COULD'VE
HANDLED WITH A LITTLE MORE TACT.
>> THE COMPANY'S PRESIDENT SAYS
JACK IN THE BOX WILL PAY ALL
MEDICAL EXPENSES FOR THOSE WHO
GOT SICK, AND HE URGED CUSTOMERS
TO COME BACK TO AVERT ANOTHER
BLOW TO THE COMPANY.
>> AND THAT SECOND TRAGEDY WOULD
BE LOSS OF JOBS.
>> John: THAT IS A SHITTY
RESPONSE.
ALSO, HOW IS IT THE CUSTOMER'S
RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP YOUR
EMPLOYEES FROM LOSING THEIR
JOBS?
IF WE ACCIDENTALLY KILLED FOUR
PEOPLE DURING ONE OF OUR
MULTIPLE STUPID EXPLOSIONS, I
WOULDN'T BE BEGGING YOU TO KEEP
WATCHING OUR SHOW.
I'D BE GETTING SENT TO PRISON.
EXCEPT I'M JUST KIDDING, RICH
WHITE CELEBRITIES DON'T GO TO
PRISON.
FELICITY HUFFMAN TOOK ONE FOR
THE WHOLE TEAM, SO NOW WE'RE
SQUARE.
THE POINT IS, AFTER JACK IN THE
BOX, THERE WAS A PUBLIC OUTCRY,
PROMPTING A MAJOR OVERHAUL TO
THE USDA.
AND THE THING IS, THE FDA ALMOST
HAD A SIMILAR MOMENT.
BACK IN THE LATE AUGHTS, THERE
WERE A SERIES OF HORRIFIC
OUTBREAKS IN PEANUT BUTTER,
SPINACH, AND OTHER FOODS.
AND IN RESPONSE, CONGRESS PASSED
THE FOOD SAFETY MODERNIZATION
ACT, WHICH GAVE THE FDA SWEEPING
NEW POWERS TO REGULATE FOOD.
AND AT THE TIME, EVERYONE
THOUGHT THIS WAS A PRETTY BIG
DEAL.
>> TODAY, PRESIDENT OBAMA SIGNS
A BILL FOR THE FIRST MAJOR
OVERHAUL OF THE U.S. FOOD SAFETY
SYSTEM IN ALMOST A CENTURY.
>> IT WILL GIVE THE FOOD AND
DRUG ADMINISTRATION NEW POWERS
TO FORCE MANDATORY RECALLS WHEN
FOODBORNE ILLNESS OR OTHER
HAZARDS ARE FOUND IN THE U.S.
FOOD SUPPLY.
>> IF THIS LAW IS A HUGE
SUCCESS, A LOT OF THAT SUCCESS
IS GOING TO BE INVISIBLE. YOU
ARE NOT GOING TO BE SEEING AS
MANY PEOPLE SICK.
>> John: YEAH!
IT SOUNDED GREAT!
EXCEPT IF ALL OF THAT HAD
ACTUALLY HAPPENED, I WOULDN'T BE
DOING THIS STORY RIGHT NOW,
WOULD I?
WE'D BE BACK TO OUR REGULARLY
SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING OF HAMSTER
LONELINESS OR, I DON'T KNOW,
FUCKIN' TROUT GOUT.
SPOILER ALERT, IT'S MORE COMMON
THAN YOU THINK, AND CONGRESS
REFUSES TO ACT.
THERE WERE JUST TWO SMALL
PROBLEMS WITH THE FOOD SAFETY
MODERNIZATION ACT: FIRST, WE
DIDN'T FUND THE FDA TO DO ALL
THE NEW THINGS THAT WE'D JUST
ASKED IT TO DO.
AND SECOND, THE AGENCY WAS STILL
HAMSTRUNG BY ITS GLACIAL
BUREAUCRACY.
FOR INSTANCE, THE LAW MANDATED
THE FDA COME UP WITH A STANDARD
FOR WATER BEING USED IN
AGRICULTURE -- BASICALLY, A WAY
TO KEEP YOUR SALAD FROM GETTING
LIGHTLY MISTED WITH MICROSCOPIC
COW SHIT.
THE PROBLEM IS, IT'S 12
YEARS LATER, AND IT STILL HASN'T
PRODUCED A FINAL RULE.
THEY DID, IN DECEMBER 2021,
UNVEIL A PROPOSED RULE, BUT IT
HAD MAJOR PROBLEMS -- INCLUDING
THE FACT THAT IT DIDN'T MANDATE
ANY TESTING.
INSTEAD, IT ASKED PRODUCER
GROWERS TO IDENTIFY AND ADDRESS
THEIR OWN POTENTIAL HAZARDS.
WHICH IS CLEARLY LESS OF A WATER
STANDARD AND MORE OF A
SELF-GRADED WATER QUIZ.
AND WHILE IT'D BE GREAT IF
BUSINESSES COULD BE TRUSTED TO
KEEP THEMSELVES IN CHECK, THAT'S
NOT GENERALLY HOW THINGS GO.
FOR A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS, LOOK
AT LITERALLY ANY BUSINESS.
AND LOOK, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT
ARGUE THAT THE FDA SIMPLY NEEDS
TO BE FUNDED BETTER, AND THAT
ITS LINES OF AUTHORITY NEED TO
BE CLEARER.
AND TO BE FAIR, THERE HAS BEEN
SOME RECENT PROGRESS THERE.
JUST LAST MONTH, THEY
ESTABLISHED A NEW ROLE AT THE
AGENCY, SO ONE PERSON COULD BE
IN CHARGE OF THE FDA'S ENTIRE
FOOD SAFETY PROGRAM.
IT'S A BIT INCREDIBLE THAT ROLE
DIDN'T EXIST UNTIL NOW, BUT
STILL, I'LL TAKE IT!
THE PROBLEM IS, HISTORY STRONGLY
SUGGESTS IT WON'T BE NEARLY
ENOUGH.
A MUCH BOLDER PLAN WOULD BE TO
ACTUALLY BREAK THE FDA UP
COMPLETELY AND IN DOING SO,
CREATE A NEW AGENCY SOLELY
DEVOTED TO FOOD.
NOW, THAT'S A BIG MOVE, AND ONE
LIKELY TO FACE SIGNIFICANT
RESISTANCE -- AND IT WOULD NEED
TO BE DONE VERY CAREFULLY.
BUT I'D ARGUE IT MIGHT BE WORTH
IT.
SO MANY EXPERTS WE TALKED TO FOR
THIS STORY SAID, IF WE WERE TO
BUILD A FOOD SAFETY SYSTEM FROM
SCRATCH, IT'D LOOK NOTHING LIKE
THE FRACTURED SYSTEM WE HAVE
TODAY.
AND THE FACT IS, UNDER THE
SYSTEM WE HAVE RIGHT NOW, FUTURE
OUTBREAKS AREN'T JUST POSSIBLE,
THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY INEVITABLE.
AND I, FOR ONE, DON'T WANT TO
LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THE ONLY
100% SAFE WAY TO PREPARE A VERY,
VERY BASIC SALAD IS THIS.
AND NOW, THIS!
>> Announcer: AND NOW, CHECK OUT
THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN FOX
BUSINESS'S LIZ CLAMAN AND
CHARLIE GASPARINO.
>> MY DNA CAME BACK FROM
23ANDME.
>> DO YOU HAVE SOME OF US IN
YOU?
>> I'M PART OF A TRIBE.
60% SOUTHERN ITALIAN.
30% EASTERN EUROPEAN JEW.
>> NOW I KNOW WHY I LIKE YOU.
>> I WENT TO A CONFERENCE
THAT HAD CHICK-FIL-A.
IT WAS DELICIOUS.
>> THAT'S VERY ALLURING.
>> WHAT'S THE OTHER ONE?
THE OTHER ONE I WENT TO WAS
EXCELLENT.
CINNABON.
>> OOF.
>> WE COULD START OUR OWN
EXCHANGE,
REDHEAD EXCHANGE.
>> I HOPE THAT'S RIGHT.
>> YOUR SHOW'S AMAZING, WHY
WOULDN'T THEY GIVE YOU A GOOD
REVIEW?
>> THANK YOU, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> CHRIS HEMSWORTH AND
SCARLETT JOHANSSON.
>> YEAH.
>> STOP.
>> SORRY.
>> CHEATING ON ME.
YOU'RE NOT HERE IN STUDIO.
>> I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
>> I WILL SCRATCH YOU.
>> WHY AM I GETTING UP AT 9 TO
DO THIS?
>> OH BABY.
>> GET BACK IN THE STUDIO
ALREADY, MY GOODNESS.
I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW GOOD
IT IS TO HAVE YOU BACK.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY TAN?
>> [LAUGHS]
>> I'M GOING TO SAY THIS, I'M
SORRY.
DID I TALK PAST MY TIME?
>> NO, YOU DO PERFECTLY.
>> YOU FINGERED OR YOU FIGURED?
>> I FIGURED.
>> OKAY, THANKS, CHARLIE.
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
>> DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?
>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
GOOD NIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪