1 00:00:04,908 --> 00:00:11,908 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:21,892 --> 00:00:28,892 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:31,532 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 4 00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:32,066 >> John: WELCOME, WELCOME, 5 00:00:32,135 --> 00:00:32,700 WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!" 6 00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:34,035 I'M JOHN OLIVER. 7 00:00:34,104 --> 00:00:34,735 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING 8 00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:35,403 US. 9 00:00:35,472 --> 00:00:36,737 IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK. 10 00:00:36,806 --> 00:00:39,474 ISRAEL CONTINUED TO REJECT CALLS 11 00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:40,775 FOR EVEN A HUMANITARIAN PAUSE 12 00:00:40,844 --> 00:00:42,510 UNTIL ITS HOSTAGES ARE RETURNED, 13 00:00:42,579 --> 00:00:43,578 WHILE ITS RELENTLESS BOMBING OF 14 00:00:43,647 --> 00:00:44,846 GAZA HIT BOTH A REFUGEE CAMP AND 15 00:00:44,915 --> 00:00:46,581 AN AMBULANCE. 16 00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:47,849 MEANWHILE HERE IN THE U.S., 17 00:00:47,918 --> 00:00:49,083 SAM BANKMAN-FRIED WAS FOUND 18 00:00:49,152 --> 00:00:50,518 GUILTY ON SEVEN COUNTS OF FRAUD 19 00:00:50,587 --> 00:00:52,220 AND CONSPIRACY, AND RON DESANTIS 20 00:00:52,289 --> 00:00:53,488 CONTINUED TO BE DOGGED BY 21 00:00:53,557 --> 00:00:56,090 ALLEGATIONS THAT HE WEARS LIFTS 22 00:00:56,159 --> 00:00:59,460 IN HIS BOOTS, SOMETHING THAT 23 00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:00,261 PROMPTED THIS ACTUAL POLITICO 24 00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,796 HEADLINE, "3 EXPERT SHOEMAKERS 25 00:01:01,865 --> 00:01:02,730 SAY RON DESANTIS IS PROBABLY 26 00:01:02,799 --> 00:01:05,066 WEARING HEIGHT BOOSTERS," AND 27 00:01:05,135 --> 00:01:06,200 DONALD TRUMP TO SHARE AN IMAGE 28 00:01:06,269 --> 00:01:07,335 CAPTIONED "TELL ME HE'S NOT 29 00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:10,037 WEARING HIDDEN HEELS." 30 00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:11,072 WELL, THIS WEEK, DESANTIS 31 00:01:11,141 --> 00:01:12,406 RESPONDED TO THAT WITH HIS 32 00:01:12,475 --> 00:01:13,674 TRADEMARK WIT. 33 00:01:13,743 --> 00:01:15,009 >> I KNOW DONALD TRUMP AND A LOT 34 00:01:15,078 --> 00:01:16,744 OF HIS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOCUSING 35 00:01:16,813 --> 00:01:18,312 ON THINGS LIKE FOOTWEAR. 36 00:01:18,381 --> 00:01:20,348 I'LL TELL YOU THIS. 37 00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:21,215 YOU KNOW, IF DONALD TRUMP CAN 38 00:01:21,284 --> 00:01:22,350 SUMMON THE BALLS TO SHOW UP TO 39 00:01:22,419 --> 00:01:23,718 THE DEBATE, I'LL WEAR A BOOT ON 40 00:01:23,787 --> 00:01:25,520 MY HEAD. 41 00:01:25,589 --> 00:01:27,155 THIS IS A TIME FOR SUBSTANCE. 42 00:01:27,224 --> 00:01:28,589 >> John: WHAT? 43 00:01:28,658 --> 00:01:30,224 OKAY, FIRST, YOU CAN'T CLAIM 44 00:01:30,293 --> 00:01:31,926 IT'S A TIME FOR SUBSTANCE JUST 45 00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:33,294 AFTER PROMISING TO WEAR A BOOT 46 00:01:33,363 --> 00:01:34,529 ON YOUR HEAD. 47 00:01:34,598 --> 00:01:35,530 BUT SECOND, YOU'RE SO BAD AT 48 00:01:35,599 --> 00:01:36,497 THIS. 49 00:01:36,566 --> 00:01:37,598 EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T RUNNING 50 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,967 AGAINST ONE OF THE WORLD'S 51 00:01:40,036 --> 00:01:41,102 GREATEST BULLIES, IT LOOKS SO 52 00:01:41,171 --> 00:01:42,270 PATHETIC THAT YOU THOUGHT THAT 53 00:01:42,339 --> 00:01:43,938 WAS A GOOD COMEBACK. 54 00:01:44,007 --> 00:01:45,640 NEVER BEFORE HAS A POLITICIAN 55 00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:47,642 HAD SUCH "KID WITH THE ROLLING 56 00:01:47,711 --> 00:01:48,609 BACKPACK, WEARING A TIE TO 57 00:01:48,678 --> 00:01:50,445 CLASS" ENERGY. 58 00:01:50,514 --> 00:01:51,679 AND LOOK, THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF 59 00:01:51,748 --> 00:01:53,548 TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE 2024 60 00:01:53,617 --> 00:01:55,616 ELECTIONS, IN 2024. 61 00:01:55,685 --> 00:01:56,784 BUT WE'RE GOING TO DIVE STRAIGHT 62 00:01:56,853 --> 00:01:57,585 IN TO OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT, 63 00:01:57,654 --> 00:01:58,619 WHICH CONCERNS THE ELECTIONS 64 00:01:58,688 --> 00:01:59,921 HAPPENING AROUND THE COUNTRY IN 65 00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:01,489 TWO DAYS. 66 00:02:01,558 --> 00:02:02,757 THERE'S THE USUAL BARRAGE OF 67 00:02:02,826 --> 00:02:04,425 NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN ADS HAPPENING 68 00:02:04,494 --> 00:02:06,394 RIGHT NOW, PERHAPS NONE MORE 69 00:02:06,463 --> 00:02:13,067 MEMORABLE THAN THIS ONE, IN A 70 00:02:13,136 --> 00:02:13,568 PENNSYLVANIA D.A. RACE. 71 00:02:13,637 --> 00:02:14,001 >> YOU'VE SEEN THOSE 72 00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:14,602 MOTIVATIONAL SIGNS PEOPLE HAVE 73 00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:15,002 IN THEIR OFFICES? 74 00:02:15,071 --> 00:02:16,304 MATT DUGAN'S OFFICE HAD A SIGN, 75 00:02:16,373 --> 00:02:17,472 TOO. 76 00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:19,006 AS REPORTED BY KDKA ANNOUNCER, 77 00:02:19,075 --> 00:02:21,843 IT READS: "[BLEEP] THE POLICE." 78 00:02:21,912 --> 00:02:24,278 >> John: WOW. 79 00:02:24,347 --> 00:02:25,480 THAT IS A STRIKING AD. 80 00:02:25,549 --> 00:02:27,048 NOW, DUGAN'S PUSHED BACK ON 81 00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:28,349 THAT, SAYING THAT'S NOT HIS 82 00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:29,350 OFFICE, IT BELONGED TO A 83 00:02:29,419 --> 00:02:33,821 DIFFERENT ATTORNEY. 84 00:02:33,890 --> 00:02:34,422 BUT IF SO, I NOW WANT TO KNOW 85 00:02:34,491 --> 00:02:35,022 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM INSTEAD, 86 00:02:35,091 --> 00:02:36,057 BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE THE ONLY 87 00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:37,725 PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO HAS A 88 00:02:37,794 --> 00:02:39,160 "FUCK THE POLICE" SIGN NEXT TO A 89 00:02:39,229 --> 00:02:39,794 BOBBLEHEAD OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE 90 00:02:39,863 --> 00:02:41,829 JAMES MADISON. 91 00:02:41,898 --> 00:02:44,599 NOT JUST THAT, THAT'S NEXT TO A 92 00:02:44,668 --> 00:02:46,100 STATUE OF AUDREY II FROM 93 00:02:46,169 --> 00:02:48,202 "LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS," WHO IN 94 00:02:48,271 --> 00:02:49,670 TURN IS NEXT TO A BOBBLEHEAD OF 95 00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:50,138 TEDDY ROOSEVELT. 96 00:02:50,207 --> 00:02:51,672 THOSE ARE NOT USUALLY SHARED 97 00:02:51,741 --> 00:02:53,608 INTERESTS. 98 00:02:53,677 --> 00:02:54,509 THAT FASCINATING INDIVIDUAL 99 00:02:54,578 --> 00:02:57,845 CONTAINS MULTITUDES. 100 00:02:57,914 --> 00:03:01,048 BUT WHILE SOME LOCAL RACES ARE 101 00:03:01,117 --> 00:03:01,716 UNDERSTANDABLY FOCUSED ON "LIVE, 102 00:03:01,785 --> 00:03:03,718 LAUGH, FUCK THE POLICE" OFFICE 103 00:03:03,787 --> 00:03:04,318 SIGNAGE, MANY OTHERS WILL BE 104 00:03:04,387 --> 00:03:05,753 FOCUSED ON REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS. 105 00:03:05,822 --> 00:03:07,789 ABORTION IS A HUGE ISSUE IN THE 106 00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:08,990 KENTUCKY GOVERNOR'S RACE, AND 107 00:03:09,059 --> 00:03:09,957 THE RACE TO CONTROL VIRGINIA'S 108 00:03:10,026 --> 00:03:11,125 STATE SENATE. 109 00:03:11,194 --> 00:03:12,827 AND IN OHIO, THERE'S AN 110 00:03:12,896 --> 00:03:14,462 AMENDMENT ON THE BALLOT TO 111 00:03:14,531 --> 00:03:15,830 ENSHRINE THE RIGHT TO ABORTION 112 00:03:15,899 --> 00:03:17,632 IN THE STATE CONSTITUTION. 113 00:03:17,701 --> 00:03:18,332 SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT 114 00:03:18,401 --> 00:03:20,067 ABORTION. 115 00:03:20,136 --> 00:03:21,502 AS YOU KNOW, 16 MONTHS AGO, THE 116 00:03:21,571 --> 00:03:23,171 SUPREME COURT'S DOBBS DECISION 117 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,207 OVERTURNED ROE V. WADE. 118 00:03:26,276 --> 00:03:26,808 AND SINCE THEN IT MAY'VE BEEN 119 00:03:26,877 --> 00:03:28,676 TEMPTING -- ESPECIALLY IF YOU 120 00:03:28,745 --> 00:03:29,277 LIVE IN A STATE UNIMPACTED BY 121 00:03:29,346 --> 00:03:30,411 THE DOBBS RULING -- TO AVOID 122 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,813 WATCHING THE FALLOUT FROM IT TOO 123 00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:32,447 CLOSELY, KNOWING HOW DEPRESSING 124 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,016 IT'D BE. 125 00:03:35,085 --> 00:03:35,616 AND I'LL BE HONEST, THINGS ARE 126 00:03:35,685 --> 00:03:37,151 BLEAK. 127 00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:38,252 BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND 128 00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:42,490 EXACTLY HOW BLEAK. 129 00:03:42,559 --> 00:03:43,024 CURRENTLY, 14 STATES HAVE 130 00:03:43,093 --> 00:03:43,658 ENACTED NEAR TOTAL ABORTION BANS 131 00:03:43,727 --> 00:03:45,092 AND TWO HAVE IMPOSED SIX-WEEK 132 00:03:45,161 --> 00:03:47,161 LIMITS. 133 00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:48,029 AND THOSE BANS HAVE PROMPTED 134 00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:49,430 MANY TO DESPERATELY TRY TO 135 00:03:49,499 --> 00:03:51,432 MAINTAIN ABORTION ACCESS FOR 136 00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:53,267 THOSE WHO NEED IT, AND SOMETIMES 137 00:03:53,336 --> 00:03:55,103 IN TRULY IMAGINATIVE WAYS. 138 00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:57,205 >> A CALIFORNIA DOCTOR IS 139 00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:58,773 PROPOSING A FLOATING ABORTION 140 00:03:58,842 --> 00:04:00,074 CLINIC AS A WAY TO BYPASS LAWS 141 00:04:00,143 --> 00:04:01,542 IN SOME STATES THAT ARE 142 00:04:01,611 --> 00:04:03,211 RESTRICTING THE PROCEDURE. 143 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,545 SHE SAYS THE CLINIC WOULD 144 00:04:04,614 --> 00:04:05,780 OPERATE ON A BOAT FLOATING IN 145 00:04:05,849 --> 00:04:07,748 FEDERAL WATERS JUST OFF THE GULF 146 00:04:07,817 --> 00:04:09,050 OF MEXICO, SO TECHNICALLY MAKING 147 00:04:09,119 --> 00:04:11,552 IT OUT OF REACH TO ANY STATE 148 00:04:11,621 --> 00:04:12,987 LAWS HERE. 149 00:04:13,056 --> 00:04:14,455 >> John: WOW, LAWLESS TERRITORY, 150 00:04:14,524 --> 00:04:16,557 NO RULES, ANYTHING GOES. 151 00:04:16,626 --> 00:04:18,326 IT'S NOT ONLY A FOOLPROOF PLAN, 152 00:04:18,395 --> 00:04:20,895 IT'S ALSO THE PREMISE FOR THE 153 00:04:20,964 --> 00:04:21,963 MOVIE "MONEY PLANE." 154 00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:23,431 NO, YOU DIDN'T HALLUCINATE THAT 155 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,532 DURING PEAK COVID. 156 00:04:24,601 --> 00:04:25,833 THERE REALLY WAS A FILM ABOUT A 157 00:04:25,902 --> 00:04:27,368 CASINO IN THE SKY FULL OF 158 00:04:27,437 --> 00:04:28,402 THIEVES, CARTELS, AND ARMS 159 00:04:28,471 --> 00:04:29,370 DEALERS, WHO CAN NEVER BE 160 00:04:29,439 --> 00:04:30,338 ARRESTED BECAUSE THE MONEY PLANE 161 00:04:30,407 --> 00:04:31,372 IS ALWAYS MOVING IN 162 00:04:31,441 --> 00:04:32,607 INTERNATIONAL AIRSPACE. 163 00:04:32,676 --> 00:04:33,841 IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, YOU 164 00:04:33,910 --> 00:04:35,009 SHOULD FRANKLY STOP WATCHING 165 00:04:35,078 --> 00:04:36,611 THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW, AND GO 166 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,012 WATCH THAT INSTEAD. 167 00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:39,881 IF YOU POP AN EDIBLE 168 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,917 IMMEDIATELY, IT SHOULD START TO 169 00:04:42,986 --> 00:04:43,785 KICK IN RIGHT AROUND WHEN YOU 170 00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:45,319 MEET THE FILM'S VILLAIN, DARIUS 171 00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:47,021 EMMANUEL GROUCH THE THIRD, 172 00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:48,923 A.K.A. "THE RUMBLE," PLAYED BY 173 00:04:48,992 --> 00:04:50,191 KELSEY GRAMMER, AND HE EXPLAINS 174 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:52,894 THE "MONEY PLANE" LIKE THIS. 175 00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:53,928 >> WHATEVER YOU WANT TO WAGER 176 00:04:53,997 --> 00:04:54,529 ON, THE "MONEY PLANE" HAS YOU 177 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:55,429 COVERED. 178 00:04:55,498 --> 00:04:56,397 YOU WANNA BET ON A DUDE FUCKING 179 00:04:56,466 --> 00:04:57,832 AN ALLIGATOR? 180 00:04:57,901 --> 00:04:59,233 "MONEY PLANE." 181 00:04:59,302 --> 00:05:04,005 >> John: YEAH. 182 00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:04,505 FUCKING YES. 183 00:05:04,574 --> 00:05:04,939 THAT MOVIE IS REAL. 184 00:05:05,008 --> 00:05:06,941 IT'S THE "FRASIER" REBOOT WE 185 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,075 DESERVED. 186 00:05:08,144 --> 00:05:09,877 ANYWAY, BACK TO ABORTION. 187 00:05:09,946 --> 00:05:11,379 THE DOBBS DECISION CAUSED 188 00:05:11,448 --> 00:05:13,014 IMMEDIATE CONFUSION AND PANIC. 189 00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:13,815 ESPECIALLY IN STATES THAT HAD 190 00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:15,650 "TRIGGER LAWS" ALREADY ON THE 191 00:05:15,719 --> 00:05:17,151 BOOKS, WHICH KICKED IN ALMOST 192 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:22,056 IMMEDIATELY, CAUSING CHAOS FOR 193 00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:22,590 BOTH PATIENTS AND ABORTION 194 00:05:22,659 --> 00:05:22,857 PROVIDERS. 195 00:05:22,926 --> 00:05:23,591 >> AS SOON AS WE HEARD THE 196 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:26,461 DECISION, WE CLOSED EVERYTHING 197 00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:27,995 DOWN, LEAVING OVER 70 WOMEN IN 198 00:05:28,064 --> 00:05:30,264 WISCONSIN WITH APPOINTMENTS THAT 199 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,233 WE WEREN'T ABLE TO DO FOR THEM. 200 00:05:32,302 --> 00:05:34,502 >> I REMEMBER ASKING, "WHEN IS 201 00:05:34,571 --> 00:05:35,570 THE LAW GONNA CHANGE? 202 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,304 HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE TO GET 203 00:05:36,373 --> 00:05:38,206 READY FOR IT?" 204 00:05:38,275 --> 00:05:39,807 AND THEY STARTED TO TEXT BACK 205 00:05:39,876 --> 00:05:40,441 AND SAY, "THE LAW HAS ACTUALLY 206 00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:40,875 CHANGED RIGHT NOW." 207 00:05:40,944 --> 00:05:42,076 >> YOU KNOW, WE CALLED PATIENTS, 208 00:05:42,145 --> 00:05:42,944 IT'S, LIKE, I'M ALREADY ON MY 209 00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:45,446 WAY. 210 00:05:45,515 --> 00:05:46,881 AND THEY THOUGHT, WELL, I'M 211 00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:47,815 ALREADY ON MY WAY. 212 00:05:47,884 --> 00:05:48,683 IT'LL BE OKAY. 213 00:05:48,752 --> 00:05:50,118 AND IT'S, LIKE, NO, IT'S 214 00:05:50,187 --> 00:05:50,651 IMMEDIATE. 215 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,386 IT'S IMMEDIATE. 216 00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:53,554 >> John: LOOK, SOMEONE CANCELING 217 00:05:53,623 --> 00:05:54,822 PLANS WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY ON 218 00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:55,990 YOUR WAY IS ANNOYING IN ANY 219 00:05:56,059 --> 00:05:57,692 CIRCUMSTANCE, BUT IT'S DIFFERENT 220 00:05:57,761 --> 00:05:59,494 WHEN THAT PLAN IS AN ABORTION. 221 00:05:59,563 --> 00:06:01,395 IF DINNER PLANS FALL THROUGH, 222 00:06:01,464 --> 00:06:02,730 THAT'S A BUMMER, BUT AT LEAST IT 223 00:06:02,799 --> 00:06:03,898 WON'T END WITH SOMETHING 224 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:04,932 ALIEN-ING OUT OF YOUR BODY. 225 00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:06,234 UNLESS, THAT IS, YOU RESCHEDULE 226 00:06:06,303 --> 00:06:07,401 THAT DINNER TO LONG JOHN 227 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,370 SILVER'S. 228 00:06:09,439 --> 00:06:11,806 NOW, THANKFULLY, ABORTION 229 00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:13,741 REMAINS LEGAL IN MANY STATES, SO 230 00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:15,276 AT LEAST THEORETICALLY, SOMEONE 231 00:06:15,345 --> 00:06:16,878 NEEDING ONE CAN TRAVEL TO ONE OF 232 00:06:16,947 --> 00:06:18,446 THOSE STATES INSTEAD. 233 00:06:18,515 --> 00:06:19,847 BUT AS THIS DOCTOR POINTS OUT, 234 00:06:19,916 --> 00:06:20,381 IN PRACTICE, THAT CAN BE 235 00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:22,984 INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT. 236 00:06:23,053 --> 00:06:24,318 >> WE HAVE SUCH INEQUALITY THAT, 237 00:06:24,387 --> 00:06:26,721 FOR SOME, IT'S AS EASY AS, OKAY, 238 00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:29,056 LET'S TAKE A WEEKEND TRIP TO 239 00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:29,657 COLORADO TO GET YOUR ABORTION. 240 00:06:29,726 --> 00:06:30,691 AND FOR SOMEONE ELSE, IT'S A 241 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,059 COMPLETELY LIFE-ALTERING THING 242 00:06:32,128 --> 00:06:34,929 THAT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER, 243 00:06:34,998 --> 00:06:36,998 AND YOU'RE FORCED TO GIVE BIRTH. 244 00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:37,732 THE TRAJECTORY OF THOSE TWO 245 00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:38,666 PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE COMPLETELY 246 00:06:38,735 --> 00:06:40,268 DIFFERENT. 247 00:06:40,337 --> 00:06:40,701 >> John: IT'S TRUE. 248 00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:42,003 FOR MANY, TRAVELING ACROSS STATE 249 00:06:42,072 --> 00:06:44,772 LINES ISN'T FEASIBLE -- EVEN 250 00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:45,440 BEFORE YOU CONSIDER THAT, IN 251 00:06:45,509 --> 00:06:46,808 STATES WHERE ABORTION REMAINS 252 00:06:46,877 --> 00:06:48,242 LEGAL, IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'VE HAD 253 00:06:48,311 --> 00:06:49,944 A SUDDEN SURGE IN PROVIDERS TO 254 00:06:50,013 --> 00:06:51,779 HANDLE OUT-OF-STATE PATIENTS. 255 00:06:51,848 --> 00:06:53,481 SO THERE ARE NOW SIGNIFICANT 256 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:54,982 BACKLOGS, MEANING THAT WOMEN WHO 257 00:06:55,051 --> 00:06:56,651 TRAVEL TO ANOTHER STATE MAY HAVE 258 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,319 MORE DIFFICULTY GETTING 259 00:06:58,388 --> 00:06:59,754 APPOINTMENTS, AND IT MAY EVEN 260 00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:01,689 BECOME HARD FOR THOSE LIVING IN 261 00:07:01,758 --> 00:07:03,024 SOME STATES WHERE IT REMAINS 262 00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:04,258 LEGAL. 263 00:07:04,327 --> 00:07:05,660 WHICH CLEARLY ISN'T GREAT! 264 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:06,861 ABORTION ISN'T ONE OF THOSE 265 00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:08,396 THINGS YOU CAN KEEP PUTTING OFF 266 00:07:08,465 --> 00:07:09,697 INDEFINITELY, LIKE TAKING UP 267 00:07:09,766 --> 00:07:11,599 POTTERY OR FIGURING OUT WHO 268 00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:12,667 THESE GUYS ARE AND WHY THEY'RE 269 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:13,768 LIKE THAT. 270 00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:14,769 I SAY THIS WITH ZERO MALICE, BY 271 00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:15,236 THE WAY. 272 00:07:15,305 --> 00:07:16,137 THEY SEEM VERY WHOLESOME. 273 00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:17,338 I JUST DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND 274 00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:18,539 WHAT THEIR WHOLE DEAL IS. 275 00:07:18,608 --> 00:07:20,141 I AM GONNA GET AROUND TO IT, BUT 276 00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:20,641 TO BE HONEST, IT'S NOT A 277 00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:22,977 PRIORITY. 278 00:07:23,046 --> 00:07:23,511 AND SOME ARE RESORTING TO 279 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,813 DRASTIC MEASURES. 280 00:07:25,882 --> 00:07:26,514 LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN WHO DID 281 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,449 MANAGE TO GET ACROSS STATE LINES 282 00:07:28,518 --> 00:07:30,051 TO NEW MEXICO FOR AN ABORTION, 283 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,320 DESCRIBE WHAT'S HAPPENED TO HER 284 00:07:32,389 --> 00:07:33,688 FRIENDS WHO WEREN'T ABLE TO. 285 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:34,989 >> WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF 286 00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:35,990 YOU COULDN'T COME TO NEW MEXICO 287 00:07:36,059 --> 00:07:37,558 FOR AN ABORTION? 288 00:07:37,627 --> 00:07:39,827 >> GOD, WHO KNOWS? 289 00:07:39,896 --> 00:07:41,596 'CAUSE I WAS ALREADY ASKING 290 00:07:41,665 --> 00:07:42,663 PEOPLE LIKE, HEY, WHAT COULD I 291 00:07:42,732 --> 00:07:45,366 DO? 292 00:07:45,435 --> 00:07:47,835 I'VE KNOWN SOME WOMEN TO JUST 293 00:07:47,904 --> 00:07:49,403 KIND OF TAKE IT INTO THEIR OWN 294 00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:51,205 HANDS AND DO, LIKE, THEIR OWN 295 00:07:51,274 --> 00:07:52,173 ABORTION. 296 00:07:52,242 --> 00:07:54,041 LIKE I HAD A FRIEND TELL ME SHE 297 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:56,244 DRANK A CAP OF BLEACH, YOU KNOW? 298 00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,212 I HAD ANOTHER WOMAN TELL ME, 299 00:07:58,281 --> 00:07:59,580 GIRL, LIKE JUST TAKE A WHOLE 300 00:07:59,649 --> 00:08:01,883 BUNCH OF VITAMIN C. 301 00:08:01,952 --> 00:08:03,518 >> John: LISTEN, THERE ARE A LOT 302 00:08:03,587 --> 00:08:04,886 OF VERY GOOD SECRET TIPS THAT 303 00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:06,454 WOMEN RIGHTLY SHARE WITH EACH 304 00:08:06,523 --> 00:08:08,289 OTHER LIKE, "BANANAS ARE GOOD 305 00:08:08,358 --> 00:08:09,757 FOR CRAMPS" OR "LIPSTICK WORKS 306 00:08:09,826 --> 00:08:12,393 AS BLUSH IN A PINCH" OR "BLOCK 307 00:08:12,462 --> 00:08:14,328 COACH BRETT FROM YOUR INSTAGRAM 308 00:08:14,397 --> 00:08:14,595 STORIES." 309 00:08:14,664 --> 00:08:16,197 BUT "DRINK BLEACH OR VITAMIN C 310 00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:17,598 TO END A PREGNANCY" IS NOT ONE 311 00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:18,299 OF THEM. 312 00:08:18,368 --> 00:08:19,500 AND UNFORTUNATELY, DANGEROUS 313 00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:20,935 MEASURES LIKE THOSE MAY NOW 314 00:08:21,004 --> 00:08:22,603 BECOME MORE COMMON, AS 315 00:08:22,672 --> 00:08:23,771 ANTI-ABORTION ACTIVISTS HAVE NO 316 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,740 INTENTION OF STOPPING THEIR PUSH 317 00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:26,941 FOR RESTRICTIONS. 318 00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,042 FOR EXAMPLE, THEY'RE ALSO GOING 319 00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:29,710 AFTER MEDICATION ABORTIONS, 320 00:08:29,779 --> 00:08:30,411 WHICH ARE ESTIMATED TO MAKE UP 321 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,613 HALF OF ALL ABORTIONS. 322 00:08:32,682 --> 00:08:34,081 A LAWSUIT TO REVOKE THE FDA'S 323 00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:35,550 APPROVAL OF MIFEPRISTONE -- ONE 324 00:08:35,619 --> 00:08:37,051 OF TWO KEY DRUGS IN MEDICATION 325 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,519 ABORTIONS -- IS CURRENTLY 326 00:08:38,588 --> 00:08:39,954 WORKING ITS WAY THROUGH THE 327 00:08:40,023 --> 00:08:41,255 COURTS. 328 00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:42,056 AND IF THAT WERE TO SUCCEED, IT 329 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:43,458 WOULDN'T JUST IMPACT STATES WITH 330 00:08:43,527 --> 00:08:44,492 ABORTION BANS, IT WOULD AFFECT 331 00:08:44,561 --> 00:08:45,760 ACCESS ACROSS THE ENTIRE 332 00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,062 COUNTRY. 333 00:08:48,131 --> 00:08:49,297 SO, ABORTION LAW IN AMERICA IS 334 00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:49,730 CURRENTLY A COMPLETE 335 00:08:49,799 --> 00:08:50,364 CLUSTERFUCK, WITH MANY CONFUSED, 336 00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:52,033 AND OTHERS CONSIDERING DRINKING 337 00:08:52,102 --> 00:08:53,968 BLEACH. 338 00:08:54,037 --> 00:08:55,937 AND YET, THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE 339 00:08:56,006 --> 00:08:58,239 AND PASSED THESE LAWS, LIKE THIS 340 00:08:58,308 --> 00:08:58,806 TEXAS STATE LEGISLATOR, WILL 341 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:00,441 INSIST IT'S ALL WORTH IT, BASED 342 00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:03,344 ON WHO, PRECISELY AND 343 00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:04,979 EXCLUSIVELY, THEY PROTECT. 344 00:09:05,048 --> 00:09:05,580 >> THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS AND 345 00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:07,782 THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD 346 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,317 HAVE CHOSEN TO HAVE AN ABORTION 347 00:09:09,386 --> 00:09:10,585 NOW DON'T HAVE THAT CHOICE. 348 00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:11,552 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 349 00:09:11,621 --> 00:09:12,120 >> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE 350 00:09:12,189 --> 00:09:12,720 PEOPLE? 351 00:09:12,789 --> 00:09:13,454 >> THOSE ARE THOUSANDS AND 352 00:09:13,523 --> 00:09:14,889 THOUSANDS OF LITTLE BABIES THAT 353 00:09:14,958 --> 00:09:17,258 ARE NOW ALIVE. 354 00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:18,025 WE ARE A VERY SAFE PLACE FOR 355 00:09:18,094 --> 00:09:19,460 LITTLE BABIES. 356 00:09:19,529 --> 00:09:21,129 >> WHAT ABOUT WOMEN? 357 00:09:21,198 --> 00:09:22,964 >> WE ARE VERY SAFE SPACE FOR 358 00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:24,932 LITTLE -- FOR WOMEN AS WELL. 359 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:26,834 >> John: OOPS, NEARLY SAID THE 360 00:09:26,903 --> 00:09:27,668 QUIET PART OUT LOUD THERE, 361 00:09:27,737 --> 00:09:28,970 DIDN'T WE? 362 00:09:29,039 --> 00:09:30,338 ALSO, IT'S A PRETTY SAD STATE OF 363 00:09:30,407 --> 00:09:31,639 AFFAIRS WHEN "BUT WHAT ABOUT 364 00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:32,673 WOMEN?" 365 00:09:32,742 --> 00:09:33,775 GENUINELY COUNTS AS A GOTCHA 366 00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:35,743 QUESTION. 367 00:09:35,812 --> 00:09:37,311 BECAUSE FOR THE RECORD: ABORTION 368 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:38,913 BANS ARE, OBJECTIVELY, NOT SAFE 369 00:09:38,982 --> 00:09:40,081 FOR WOMEN, AND CAN NEEDLESSLY 370 00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:42,950 PUT THEM THROUGH HELL. 371 00:09:43,019 --> 00:09:44,552 TAKE WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS WOMAN 372 00:09:44,621 --> 00:09:46,087 IN TEXAS, WHOSE ULTRASOUND NOT 373 00:09:46,156 --> 00:09:47,488 ONLY REVEALED NO CHANCE OF 374 00:09:47,557 --> 00:09:50,391 SURVIVAL FOR THE FETUS, BUT ALSO 375 00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:50,958 POTENTIALLY LIFE THREATENING 376 00:09:51,027 --> 00:09:52,126 COMPLICATIONS FOR HER. 377 00:09:52,195 --> 00:09:54,328 >> KAILEE'S DOCTOR WAS CLEAR. 378 00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:55,263 >> WHEN HE'S BORN, HE'S GOING TO 379 00:09:55,332 --> 00:09:56,664 SUFFOCATE TO DEATH. 380 00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:58,366 HE MAY LIVE FOR A FEW MINUTES, 381 00:09:58,435 --> 00:09:59,100 HE MAY LIVE FOR AN HOUR, BUT 382 00:09:59,169 --> 00:10:01,035 HE'S GOING TO DIE. 383 00:10:01,104 --> 00:10:03,371 >> HER DOCTORS SAID THEY COULD 384 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:04,205 NOT PERFORM AN ABORTION, NOTING 385 00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:05,773 IN HER RECORDS, "TERMINATION IS 386 00:10:05,842 --> 00:10:06,307 NOT LEGAL IN THE STATE OF 387 00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:07,241 TEXAS." 388 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:09,777 >> HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRUEL AS 389 00:10:09,846 --> 00:10:11,879 TO PASS A LAW THAT YOU KNOW WILL 390 00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:14,482 HURT WOMEN AND THAT YOU KNOW 391 00:10:14,551 --> 00:10:16,784 WILL CAUSE BABIES TO BE BORN IN 392 00:10:16,853 --> 00:10:17,685 PAIN? 393 00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:19,253 HE WAS GOING TO DIE A PAINFUL 394 00:10:19,322 --> 00:10:21,055 DEATH. 395 00:10:21,124 --> 00:10:21,889 SO HOW IS THAT HUMANE? 396 00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:24,292 HOW IS THAT SAVING ANYBODY? 397 00:10:24,361 --> 00:10:25,893 >> THEY DESPERATELY WANT TO HAVE 398 00:10:25,962 --> 00:10:27,061 ANOTHER BABY, BUT THERE'S A HIGH 399 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,831 LIKELIHOOD SOMETHING WILL GO 400 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,798 WRONG AGAIN. 401 00:10:30,867 --> 00:10:31,999 >> THE LAST TIME I SAW MY OB, 402 00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:33,267 SHE SAID, "DO NOT GET PREGNANT 403 00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:34,936 IN TEXAS RIGHT NOW." 404 00:10:35,005 --> 00:10:36,571 >> John: WOW. 405 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,239 THAT'S NOT ONLY DEVASTATING, IT 406 00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:40,208 IS A TRULY HORRIBLE THING TO 407 00:10:40,277 --> 00:10:41,008 HAVE TO ADD TO THE LIST OF 408 00:10:41,077 --> 00:10:41,742 THINGS PREGNANT WOMEN ARE NOT 409 00:10:41,811 --> 00:10:43,177 SAFE TO DO. 410 00:10:43,246 --> 00:10:44,512 SO IT'S NOW OFFICIALLY: RIDE A 411 00:10:44,581 --> 00:10:45,746 ROLLERCOASTER, EAT SUSHI, DYE 412 00:10:45,815 --> 00:10:47,181 YOUR ROOTS, AND SIMPLY "EXIST IN 413 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,184 THE STATE OF TEXAS." 414 00:10:50,253 --> 00:10:51,385 MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS ARE NOW 415 00:10:51,454 --> 00:10:52,653 FINDING THEMSELVES CAUGHT IN THE 416 00:10:52,722 --> 00:10:53,855 MIDDLE BETWEEN TRYING TO DO WHAT 417 00:10:53,924 --> 00:10:55,189 THEY KNOW IS MEDICALLY RIGHT FOR 418 00:10:55,258 --> 00:10:56,891 THEIR PATIENTS WHILE ALSO NOT 419 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,059 RUNNING AFOUL OF THE LAW, OR 420 00:10:58,128 --> 00:10:59,527 HAVING THEIR LICENSE REVOKED. 421 00:10:59,596 --> 00:11:01,129 ONE DOCTOR SAID HER COLLEAGUES 422 00:11:01,198 --> 00:11:02,630 WERE SO UNSURE OF WHETHER OR NOT 423 00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:04,098 THEY COULD LEGALLY RECOMMEND 424 00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:06,067 THEIR PATIENTS SEEK ABORTIONS 425 00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:07,535 ELSEWHERE THAT THEY RESORTED TO 426 00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:08,035 SAYING THINGS LIKE "THE 427 00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:09,270 WEATHER'S REALLY NICE IN NEW 428 00:11:09,339 --> 00:11:10,638 MEXICO RIGHT NOW. 429 00:11:10,707 --> 00:11:12,173 YOU SHOULD GO CHECK IT OUT." 430 00:11:12,242 --> 00:11:13,307 OR, "I'VE HEARD TRAVELING TO 431 00:11:13,376 --> 00:11:15,243 COLORADO IS REALLY NICE THIS 432 00:11:15,312 --> 00:11:17,044 TIME OF YEAR." 433 00:11:17,113 --> 00:11:17,945 WHICH ISN'T JUST ABSURD, I'M NOT 434 00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:19,080 EVEN SURE THOSE ARE EFFECTIVE 435 00:11:19,149 --> 00:11:20,548 HINTS. 436 00:11:20,617 --> 00:11:22,150 NEW MEXICO AND COLORADO ARE TWO 437 00:11:22,219 --> 00:11:24,152 OF THE MOST OBJECTIVELY 438 00:11:24,221 --> 00:11:25,753 BEAUTIFUL STATES IN THE NATION. 439 00:11:25,822 --> 00:11:27,088 THAT COULD JUST BE A NICE 440 00:11:27,157 --> 00:11:28,389 VACATION TIP. 441 00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:30,024 NOW, IF THE DOCTORS WERE 442 00:11:30,093 --> 00:11:31,492 RECOMMENDING VISITING NEWARK OR 443 00:11:31,561 --> 00:11:33,094 NEW JERSEY, OR SAYING, "I'VE 444 00:11:33,163 --> 00:11:33,861 HEARD BUFFALO'S NICE THIS TIME 445 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,029 OF YEAR," THEN SURE, YOU'D KNOW 446 00:11:35,098 --> 00:11:36,931 SOMETHING ELSE WAS CLEARLY BEING 447 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,800 COMMUNICATED. 448 00:11:38,869 --> 00:11:40,034 AND WHILE YOU MIGHT THINK 449 00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:41,335 DOCTORS FACING EMERGENCY 450 00:11:41,404 --> 00:11:42,870 SITUATIONS SHOULD SIMPLY TAKE IT 451 00:11:42,939 --> 00:11:44,505 UPON THEMSELVES TO QUIETLY 452 00:11:44,574 --> 00:11:46,407 PERFORM ABORTIONS ANYWAY, AS 453 00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:47,842 THIS OB-GYN POINTS OUT, IT'S 454 00:11:47,911 --> 00:11:50,077 JUST NOT THAT SIMPLE. 455 00:11:50,146 --> 00:11:50,878 >> SOME PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, 456 00:11:50,947 --> 00:11:52,213 DOCTORS SHOULD JUST DO IT. 457 00:11:52,282 --> 00:11:53,314 YOU SHOULD JUST GO TAKE THAT 458 00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:53,948 PATIENT TO THE OR, AND DO THAT 459 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,516 ABORTION." 460 00:11:55,585 --> 00:11:56,651 I DON'T KNOW OF ANY DOCTOR WHO 461 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:57,151 DOES AN ABORTION JUST BY 462 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:58,519 THEMSELVES. 463 00:11:58,588 --> 00:11:59,587 IT REQUIRES AN ANESTHESIA TEAM, 464 00:11:59,656 --> 00:12:01,589 A NURSING TEAM, SUPERVISING TEAM 465 00:12:01,658 --> 00:12:03,858 TO GET YOU INTO THE OR. 466 00:12:03,927 --> 00:12:05,026 SO, IN ORDER FOR SOMEBODY TO -- 467 00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:06,260 TO AGREE WITH ME AS I WANT TO 468 00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:07,228 TAKE THAT PATIENT TO THE OR, 469 00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:09,197 THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO 470 00:12:09,266 --> 00:12:10,364 ARE GOING TO WEIGH IN, TOO, AND 471 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:11,165 BE SCARED AND SAY, "NO, NO, WE 472 00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:11,899 HAVE TO WAIT FOR LEGAL TO SIGN 473 00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:13,134 OFF." 474 00:12:13,203 --> 00:12:15,770 AND THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE DIE. 475 00:12:15,839 --> 00:12:17,138 >> John: HOLY SHIT. 476 00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:19,040 "WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR LEGAL TO 477 00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:20,842 SIGN OFF" IS NOT SOMETHING YOU 478 00:12:20,911 --> 00:12:21,442 WANT TO HEAR BEFORE RECEIVING 479 00:12:21,511 --> 00:12:23,678 URGENT MEDICAL CARE. 480 00:12:23,747 --> 00:12:25,079 THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE SAY 481 00:12:25,148 --> 00:12:26,814 WHEN WE WANT TO SHOW THIS PHOTO 482 00:12:26,883 --> 00:12:28,015 WHILE SAYING THE SENTENCE, "SEX 483 00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:30,852 CRIMES ARE BAD," OR PLAYFULLY 484 00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:32,620 ACCUSE A COAL BARON OF BEING THE 485 00:12:32,689 --> 00:12:33,521 ZODIAC KILLER. 486 00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:34,288 I SHOULDN'T JOKE ABOUT THAT, 487 00:12:34,357 --> 00:12:34,655 THOUGH. 488 00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:36,190 I'M SURE BOB MURRAY IS PROBABLY 489 00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:37,325 A LOT MORE SYMPATHETIC TO BLACK 490 00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:38,993 LUNG VICTIMS NOW THAT HE'S 491 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,729 BURNING IN HELL. 492 00:12:41,798 --> 00:12:42,864 BUT THE LARGER POINT REMAINS 493 00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:44,232 THAT EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE ONE 494 00:12:44,301 --> 00:12:45,333 DOCTOR WILLING TO BREAK THE LAW 495 00:12:45,402 --> 00:12:46,567 AND ASSUME THE RISKS, YOU STILL 496 00:12:46,636 --> 00:12:48,069 MIGHT NOT HAVE A WHOLE TEAM. 497 00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,704 ABORTIONS ARE LIKE IMPROV. 498 00:12:49,773 --> 00:12:51,372 EVERYONE INVOLVED HAS TO BE 499 00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:53,674 FULLY ON BOARD. 500 00:12:53,743 --> 00:12:54,709 AND IF JUST ONE PERSON DOESN'T 501 00:12:54,778 --> 00:12:56,644 COMMIT, IT'S OVER. 502 00:12:56,713 --> 00:12:57,411 ALSO, EVEN WHEN IT GOES WELL, 503 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:57,845 YOU'RE LIKE, "OKAY. 504 00:12:57,914 --> 00:12:58,646 THAT WAS FINE. 505 00:12:58,715 --> 00:12:59,380 CAN I GO HOME NOW? 506 00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:00,181 PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK 507 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,150 NEXT WEEK." 508 00:13:02,219 --> 00:13:04,118 AND THE CRUSHING THING IS, THAT 509 00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:05,153 DOCTOR ISN'T EVEN BEING OVERLY 510 00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:06,420 CAUTIOUS THERE. 511 00:13:06,489 --> 00:13:07,889 BECAUSE WHILE THESE LAWS DO HAVE 512 00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:09,190 EXCEPTIONS IN INSTANCES WHERE 513 00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:10,558 THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER IS IN 514 00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:11,959 DANGER, THERE'S A HUGE 515 00:13:12,028 --> 00:13:13,427 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "LIFE" OF THE 516 00:13:13,496 --> 00:13:13,961 MOTHER AND "HEALTH" OF THE 517 00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:16,130 MOTHER. 518 00:13:16,199 --> 00:13:18,065 ALL OF THESE STATES HAVE NEAR 519 00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:19,634 TOTAL ABORTION BANS THAT DO NOT 520 00:13:19,703 --> 00:13:21,135 MAKE EXCEPTIONS CONSIDERING THE 521 00:13:21,204 --> 00:13:23,104 HEALTH OF THE MOTHER. 522 00:13:23,173 --> 00:13:23,905 BUT EVEN IN STATES THAT DO HAVE 523 00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:25,673 THOSE EXCEPTIONS, THEY'RE OFTEN 524 00:13:25,742 --> 00:13:26,274 WRITTEN SO VAGUELY OR NARROWLY 525 00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:27,475 THAT DOCTORS CAN BE UNSURE HOW 526 00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:30,845 TO APPLY THEM. 527 00:13:30,914 --> 00:13:37,914 TAKE TEXAS AGAIN, WHERE HEALTH 528 00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:40,254 EXCEPTIONS ONLY APPLY FOR A FEW 529 00:13:40,323 --> 00:13:42,290 HIGHLY SPECIFIC CONDITIONS. 530 00:13:42,359 --> 00:13:42,890 SO DOCTORS ARE WAITING UNTIL A 531 00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:43,458 PATIENT IS AT ACTUAL RISK OF 532 00:13:43,527 --> 00:13:44,025 IMMINENT DEATH TO INTERVENE. 533 00:13:44,094 --> 00:13:44,625 LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN DESCRIBE 534 00:13:44,694 --> 00:13:45,226 WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH AFTER A 535 00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:46,861 FATAL FETAL CONDITION WAS 536 00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:48,629 DIAGNOSED DURING HER PREGNANCY. 537 00:13:48,698 --> 00:13:50,097 >> I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL ONE OF 538 00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:51,132 THREE THINGS HAPPENED. 539 00:13:51,201 --> 00:13:52,834 EITHER HER HEART STOPPED 540 00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:54,602 BEATING, I WENT INTO LABOR 541 00:13:54,671 --> 00:13:57,071 NATURALLY, OR I BECAME SO SICK 542 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,339 THAT MY LIFE WAS IN DANGER. 543 00:13:58,408 --> 00:14:00,708 AND AT THAT POINT, BECAUSE OF 544 00:14:00,777 --> 00:14:01,876 THE LAWS, THE DOCTORS WOULD BE 545 00:14:01,945 --> 00:14:04,612 ABLE TO INDUCE ME, AND WE COULD 546 00:14:04,681 --> 00:14:05,847 BEGIN THE DELIVERY PROCESS. 547 00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:06,881 I WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED ON 548 00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:09,984 TUESDAY, AND IT TOOK UNTIL 549 00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:12,320 FRIDAY FOR ONE OF THOSE THREE 550 00:14:12,389 --> 00:14:13,921 THINGS TO OCCUR. 551 00:14:13,990 --> 00:14:14,555 AND FOR ME, WHAT HAPPENED WAS, I 552 00:14:14,624 --> 00:14:16,390 GOT REALLY, REALLY SICK, REALLY, 553 00:14:16,459 --> 00:14:17,158 REALLY FAST. 554 00:14:17,227 --> 00:14:19,994 OBVIOUSLY, WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE 555 00:14:20,063 --> 00:14:20,862 OF TEXAS, WHICH IS A GIANT 556 00:14:20,931 --> 00:14:21,762 STATE. 557 00:14:21,831 --> 00:14:23,564 SO, TO GET OUT OF TEXAS, AND TO 558 00:14:23,633 --> 00:14:25,733 GET TO A NEIGHBORING STATE WHERE 559 00:14:25,802 --> 00:14:26,367 WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN HEALTHCARE, 560 00:14:26,436 --> 00:14:28,102 WE WOULD'VE EITHER HAD TO DRIVE 561 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:30,037 AT LEAST EIGHT HOURS OR FLY 562 00:14:30,106 --> 00:14:32,473 SOMEWHERE. 563 00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:34,108 >> John: OKAY, JUST SO WE'RE ALL 564 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,009 PERFECTLY CLEAR, WHEN WE SAY 565 00:14:35,078 --> 00:14:35,910 THAT THESE LAWS TAKE AWAY 566 00:14:35,979 --> 00:14:37,178 PEOPLE'S RIGHT TO CONTROL THEIR 567 00:14:37,247 --> 00:14:38,246 OWN BODY. 568 00:14:38,315 --> 00:14:38,780 THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING 569 00:14:38,849 --> 00:14:40,982 ABOUT. 570 00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:41,616 SHE HAD TO WAIT FROM TUESDAY TO 571 00:14:41,685 --> 00:14:42,650 FRIDAY TO GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO 572 00:14:42,719 --> 00:14:45,119 DYING TO BE SAVED. 573 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,420 PREEMPTIVELY CHOOSING TO SAVE 574 00:14:46,489 --> 00:14:48,256 HER OWN LIFE WAS ILLEGAL IN HER 575 00:14:48,325 --> 00:14:49,624 STATE, A STATE THAT, REMEMBER, 576 00:14:49,693 --> 00:14:50,958 THIS MAN SAYS IS SAFE FOR LITTLE 577 00:14:51,027 --> 00:14:52,827 -- SORRY, FOR WOMEN. 578 00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:55,129 AND WHEN YOU TAKE ALL OF THIS 579 00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:56,097 INTO ACCOUNT, IT'S NO WONDER 580 00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:57,431 THAT WOMEN IN STATES WITH 581 00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:58,966 ABORTION BANS ARE NEARLY THREE 582 00:14:59,035 --> 00:15:00,501 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO DIE DURING 583 00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:01,436 PREGNANCY, CHILDBIRTH, OR SOON 584 00:15:01,505 --> 00:15:02,870 AFTER. 585 00:15:02,939 --> 00:15:03,838 AND THIS IS ONLY EXACERBATED FOR 586 00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:04,906 PEOPLE OF COLOR, WHO ALREADY 587 00:15:04,975 --> 00:15:06,908 FACED SIGNIFICANT DISPARITIES IN 588 00:15:06,977 --> 00:15:08,209 MATERNAL AND INFANT HEALTH 589 00:15:08,278 --> 00:15:10,945 BEFORE THE DOBBS DECISION. 590 00:15:11,014 --> 00:15:12,380 AND AT THIS POINT, LET'S TALK 591 00:15:12,449 --> 00:15:14,081 ABOUT WHO IS MAKING THESE LAWS. 592 00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:16,083 BECAUSE THE RHETORIC AROUND THE 593 00:15:16,152 --> 00:15:17,385 DOBBS DECISION WAS THAT IT 594 00:15:17,454 --> 00:15:18,386 SIMPLY "RETURNED DECISIONS ON 595 00:15:18,455 --> 00:15:19,520 ABORTION TO THE STATES." 596 00:15:19,589 --> 00:15:22,790 WHICH IS A VERY NICE WAY TO SAY 597 00:15:22,859 --> 00:15:24,125 IT WAS REMOVING DECISIONS FROM 598 00:15:24,194 --> 00:15:25,359 INDIVIDUALS AND THEIR DOCTORS, 599 00:15:25,428 --> 00:15:26,727 AND PLACE THEM IN THE HANDS OF 600 00:15:26,796 --> 00:15:28,996 STATE LEGISLATORS. 601 00:15:29,065 --> 00:15:29,597 AND THOSE POLITICIANS ARE NOW 602 00:15:29,666 --> 00:15:31,065 LEGISLATING MEDICINE WITHOUT 603 00:15:31,134 --> 00:15:31,599 EVEN A MODICUM OF MEDICAL 604 00:15:31,668 --> 00:15:33,734 UNDERSTANDING. 605 00:15:33,803 --> 00:15:34,402 WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLY 606 00:15:34,471 --> 00:15:35,970 INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING FOR 607 00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:38,473 PEOPLE LIKE THIS OB-GYN. 608 00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:40,007 >> THERE'S THE FEELING THAT YOUR 609 00:15:40,076 --> 00:15:42,310 EXPERTISE -- NO ONE CARES. 610 00:15:42,379 --> 00:15:43,778 [LAUGHS] 611 00:15:43,847 --> 00:15:44,846 NO ONE CARES. 612 00:15:44,915 --> 00:15:45,446 WENT TO SCHOOL FOR 12 YEARS OF 613 00:15:45,515 --> 00:15:48,516 MY LIFE, DONE THIS FOR 33 YEARS, 614 00:15:48,585 --> 00:15:52,053 BUT THAT GUY FROM DOWN SOUTH IN 615 00:15:52,122 --> 00:15:55,156 OKLAHOMA, HE'S NEVER PICKED UP A 616 00:15:55,225 --> 00:15:55,790 MEDICAL TEXTBOOK IN HIS LIFE, HE 617 00:15:55,859 --> 00:16:00,128 KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT. 618 00:16:00,197 --> 00:16:00,595 I MEAN, THERE'S -- YOU 619 00:16:00,664 --> 00:16:01,162 DEFINITELY FEEL NO ONE CARES 620 00:16:01,231 --> 00:16:01,996 WHAT YOU THINK AS AN EXPERT. 621 00:16:02,065 --> 00:16:03,231 NO ONE CARES. 622 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,499 >> John: RIGHT, AND I'D GIVE 623 00:16:04,568 --> 00:16:05,800 LITERALLY ANYTHING FOR 624 00:16:05,869 --> 00:16:07,068 LEGISLATORS IN OKLAHOMA TO HAVE 625 00:16:07,137 --> 00:16:08,703 TO EXPLAIN THEIR REASONING TO 626 00:16:08,772 --> 00:16:09,670 THIS DOCTOR, WHO LAUGHS LIKE A 627 00:16:09,739 --> 00:16:11,405 WOMAN WHO HAS SPENT 45 YEARS OF 628 00:16:11,474 --> 00:16:12,874 HER LIFE SMILING ON THE OUTSIDE 629 00:16:12,943 --> 00:16:14,742 AND SAYING "GO FUCK YOURSELF" ON 630 00:16:14,811 --> 00:16:15,710 THE INSIDE. 631 00:16:15,779 --> 00:16:17,745 WHICH I DO REALIZE SOUNDS LIKE 632 00:16:17,814 --> 00:16:19,213 THE TITLE OF A GUIDE TO BEING A 633 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,782 WOMAN IN AMERICA. 634 00:16:20,851 --> 00:16:23,151 AND IT'S NOT JUST THAT THOSE 635 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,051 PUSHING THESE LAWS ARE 636 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,553 NON-EXPERTS -- THEY'RE ALSO 637 00:16:25,622 --> 00:16:26,521 OVERWHELMINGLY BEING PUSHED BY 638 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:27,388 PEOPLE WHO CAN'T GET PREGNANT, 639 00:16:27,457 --> 00:16:29,223 EITHER. 640 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,024 WHEN IT COMES TO THOSE SO-CALLED 641 00:16:30,093 --> 00:16:31,325 "TRIGGER LAWS" THAT BANNED 642 00:16:31,394 --> 00:16:34,428 ABORTION SO QUICKLY AFTER DOBBS, 643 00:16:34,497 --> 00:16:36,164 84% OF THE LAWMAKERS WHO 644 00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:37,131 SPONSORED THEM WERE MEN, AND 645 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,065 LOOK -- CLEARLY, THEY'RE THE KEY 646 00:16:38,134 --> 00:16:39,967 PROBLEM HERE. 647 00:16:40,036 --> 00:16:41,469 BUT LET'S ALSO TAKE A SECOND FOR 648 00:16:41,538 --> 00:16:43,104 THE 16% OF LAWMAKERS WHO WERE 649 00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:44,338 WOMEN. 650 00:16:44,407 --> 00:16:45,940 BECAUSE IF YOU'RE A WOMAN VOTING 651 00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:47,508 AGAINST ABORTION ACCESS, YOU ARE 652 00:16:47,577 --> 00:16:48,910 -- AND I'M TOLD THAT THIS IS THE 653 00:16:48,979 --> 00:16:50,845 MEANEST THING THIS VOICE IS 654 00:16:50,914 --> 00:16:52,146 ALLOWED TO SAY -- NOT A GIRL'S 655 00:16:52,215 --> 00:16:54,749 GIRL. 656 00:16:54,818 --> 00:16:56,384 AND SOME OF THOSE MALE 657 00:16:56,453 --> 00:16:58,319 LEGISLATORS TRULY DIDN'T KNOW 658 00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:00,054 WHAT THEY WERE DOING -- AND 659 00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:01,456 THAT'S BY THEIR OWN ADMISSION. 660 00:17:01,525 --> 00:17:04,358 THIS IDAHO REPUBLICAN VOTED FOR 661 00:17:04,427 --> 00:17:05,893 AN ABORTION BAN AND HAS SINCE 662 00:17:05,962 --> 00:17:07,094 HAD SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW 663 00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:08,763 BROAD IT REALLY IS. 664 00:17:08,832 --> 00:17:09,997 BUT LISTEN TO HIM EXPLAIN JUST 665 00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:14,202 HOW LITTLE THOUGHT HE PUT INTO 666 00:17:14,271 --> 00:17:14,669 HIS ORIGINAL DECISION. 667 00:17:14,738 --> 00:17:15,436 >> IT REALLY WASN'T UP HIGH ON 668 00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:18,372 MY RADAR, OTHER THAN I'M A 669 00:17:18,441 --> 00:17:21,476 PRO-LIFE GUY, AND I RAN THAT 670 00:17:21,545 --> 00:17:23,111 WAY, BUT I DIDN'T SEE IT AS IT 671 00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:24,278 HAD A REAL -- HAVING A REAL BIG 672 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:25,513 COMMUNITY IMPACT. 673 00:17:25,582 --> 00:17:26,747 >> THEN HE STARTED TALKING WITH 674 00:17:26,816 --> 00:17:28,116 LOCAL DOCTORS. 675 00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:29,250 >> WHAT I'M WONDERING IS, FOR 676 00:17:29,319 --> 00:17:30,384 YOU PERSONALLY, DID YOU THINK 677 00:17:30,453 --> 00:17:33,654 ABOUT ABORTION AS IT RELATES TO 678 00:17:33,723 --> 00:17:34,689 OBSTETRIC CARE FOR PREGNANT 679 00:17:34,758 --> 00:17:36,157 WOMEN? 680 00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:39,861 >> NO, I DON'T THINK I -- YOU 681 00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:40,695 KNOW, IT'S LIKE ANYTHING. 682 00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:42,497 YOU GET EXPOSED TO SOMETHING 683 00:17:42,566 --> 00:17:43,264 AND, ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU GO, 684 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:44,999 WOW, THERE'S A DIFFERENT WAY TO 685 00:17:45,068 --> 00:17:49,003 LOOK AT THIS. 686 00:17:49,072 --> 00:17:50,438 >> John: LOOK, PART OF ME WANTS 687 00:17:50,507 --> 00:17:51,839 TO WELCOME THAT MAN'S ABILITY TO 688 00:17:51,908 --> 00:17:53,241 RECOGNIZE HIS OWN BLIND SPOTS 689 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:54,075 THERE. 690 00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:54,976 BUT ARE YOU REALLY SAYING YOU 691 00:17:55,045 --> 00:17:56,444 DIDN'T THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR VOTE 692 00:17:56,513 --> 00:17:57,945 WOULD AFFECT LITERALLY HALF OF 693 00:17:58,014 --> 00:17:59,714 YOUR CONSTITUENTS? 694 00:17:59,783 --> 00:18:01,249 YOU'RE A FUCKING LEGISLATOR. 695 00:18:01,318 --> 00:18:03,184 THAT'S NOT A CUTE LITTLE OOPSIE. 696 00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:04,485 IT'S NOT LIKE JOKING THAT 697 00:18:04,554 --> 00:18:05,686 TIMOTHEE CHALAMET COULD PLAY A 698 00:18:05,755 --> 00:18:07,555 YOUNG WILLY WONKA AND THE STUDIO 699 00:18:07,624 --> 00:18:08,689 IMMEDIATELY GREENLIT IT AND NOW 700 00:18:08,758 --> 00:18:09,323 YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE 701 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,492 FUCK THAT MEANS. 702 00:18:11,561 --> 00:18:13,427 THAT IS A DERELICTION OF DUTY. 703 00:18:13,496 --> 00:18:16,330 SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? 704 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,365 WELL, FIRST, DO FEEL FREE TO 705 00:18:17,434 --> 00:18:18,833 SCREAM -- INTO A PILLOW, WHEN 706 00:18:18,902 --> 00:18:21,002 YOU'RE ON THE BUS, ON THE KISS 707 00:18:21,071 --> 00:18:22,069 CAM AT A BASKETBALL GAME. 708 00:18:22,138 --> 00:18:23,671 THERE'S NO INAPPROPRIATE TIME TO 709 00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:24,939 BE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS. 710 00:18:25,008 --> 00:18:27,341 BUT KNOW THAT WE CAN ALSO STILL 711 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:28,643 ACT HERE. 712 00:18:28,712 --> 00:18:30,378 SOME HAVE TAKEN SOME SMALL STEPS 713 00:18:30,447 --> 00:18:31,145 IN THE LAST YEAR THAT ARE, IF 714 00:18:31,214 --> 00:18:32,246 NOTHING ELSE, IMMENSELY 715 00:18:32,315 --> 00:18:33,514 SATISFYING -- LIKE THIS ONE, 716 00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:37,251 THAT WAS COVERED BY A CATHOLIC 717 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:37,819 NEWS NETWORK. 718 00:18:37,888 --> 00:18:40,788 >> AN INTERNATIONAL GROUP NAMED 719 00:18:40,857 --> 00:18:42,557 AFTER SATAN WILL SOON OPEN ITS 720 00:18:42,626 --> 00:18:43,157 FIRST ABORTION BUSINESS IN THE 721 00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:44,692 UNITED STATES. 722 00:18:44,761 --> 00:18:46,060 THE SATANIC TEMPLE, WHICH CLAIMS 723 00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:47,028 TO "NOT BELIEVE IN A LITERAL 724 00:18:47,097 --> 00:18:48,863 SATAN," WILL PROVIDE TELEHEALTH 725 00:18:48,932 --> 00:18:50,331 SCREENINGS AND PRESCRIBE 726 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,466 ABORTION PILLS FOR PATIENTS IN 727 00:18:51,535 --> 00:18:53,634 NEW MEXICO. 728 00:18:53,703 --> 00:18:54,502 THE NAME OF THE SOON TO BE 729 00:18:54,571 --> 00:18:56,938 FACILITY? 730 00:18:57,007 --> 00:18:57,572 THE SAMUEL ALITO'S MOM'S SATANIC 731 00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:59,540 ABORTION CLINIC. 732 00:18:59,609 --> 00:19:01,275 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 733 00:19:01,344 --> 00:19:02,910 >> John: INCREDIBLE. 734 00:19:02,979 --> 00:19:04,145 VERY WELL-PLAYED. 735 00:19:04,214 --> 00:19:05,880 NOW, IS THAT GOING TO FIX 736 00:19:05,949 --> 00:19:06,681 EVERYTHING? 737 00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:07,815 OF COURSE NOT. 738 00:19:07,884 --> 00:19:08,449 BUT WHEN IT COMES TO RESPONDING 739 00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:10,351 TO SUCH WIDE-SPREADING 740 00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:11,619 DEVASTATION, YOU COULD DO A LOT 741 00:19:11,688 --> 00:19:12,887 WORSE THAN THE SINGLE BEST 742 00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:15,356 "YOUR MOM" JOKE OF ALL TIME. 743 00:19:15,425 --> 00:19:16,891 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ADD IN THAT 744 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:17,925 ONE OF THAT GROUP'S COFOUNDERS 745 00:19:17,994 --> 00:19:19,460 EVEN SAID, IN 1950, SAMUEL 746 00:19:19,529 --> 00:19:22,263 ALITO'S MOTHER DID NOT HAVE 747 00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:25,867 OPTIONS, AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. 748 00:19:25,936 --> 00:19:27,635 BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR 749 00:19:27,704 --> 00:19:28,569 YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW IS -- AND I 750 00:19:28,638 --> 00:19:30,605 APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR EVEN 751 00:19:30,674 --> 00:19:33,040 SAYING THIS -- TO VOTE. 752 00:19:33,109 --> 00:19:33,641 ABORTION RIGHTS ARE -- FOR ALL 753 00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:34,876 THE ATTACKS ON THEM -- STILL 754 00:19:34,945 --> 00:19:37,378 WIDELY POPULAR. 755 00:19:37,447 --> 00:19:37,812 SIX STATES HAVE HAD 756 00:19:37,881 --> 00:19:39,313 ABORTION-RELATED MEASURES ON THE 757 00:19:39,382 --> 00:19:40,148 BALLOT SINCE DOBBS, AND IN ALL 758 00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:42,083 SIX, VOTERS PRESERVED ACCESS TO 759 00:19:42,152 --> 00:19:43,818 ABORTION. 760 00:19:43,887 --> 00:19:45,253 AND THAT WAS EVEN TRUE IN RED 761 00:19:45,322 --> 00:19:46,988 STATES LIKE MONTANA, KANSAS, AND 762 00:19:47,057 --> 00:19:48,623 KENTUCKY. 763 00:19:48,692 --> 00:19:49,490 THIS IS GENUINELY A CASE WHERE 764 00:19:49,559 --> 00:19:50,758 VOTING CAN HAVE IMMEDIATE, AND 765 00:19:50,827 --> 00:19:52,426 LASTING, EFFECT. 766 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:54,195 TO THAT END, AS I'VE MENTIONED, 767 00:19:54,264 --> 00:19:55,563 THERE ARE SOME IMPORTANT 768 00:19:55,632 --> 00:19:56,864 ELECTIONS ON TUESDAY WHERE IT'S 769 00:19:56,933 --> 00:19:58,399 GOING TO BE CRUCIAL TO CONTINUE 770 00:19:58,468 --> 00:19:59,734 THAT STREAK. 771 00:19:59,803 --> 00:20:01,002 IF YOU LIVE IN VIRGINIA, 772 00:20:01,071 --> 00:20:02,837 DEMOCRATS LOST THE HOUSE AND 773 00:20:02,906 --> 00:20:04,338 GOVERNOR'S SEAT IN 2021, BUT 774 00:20:04,407 --> 00:20:06,574 STILL CONTROL THE STATE SENATE. 775 00:20:06,643 --> 00:20:07,875 AND ONLY BECAUSE OF THAT WERE 776 00:20:07,944 --> 00:20:09,243 THEY ABLE, EARLIER THIS YEAR 777 00:20:09,312 --> 00:20:10,511 THEY WERE ABLE TO STOP THREE 778 00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:11,712 BILLS THAT WOULD HAVE RESTRICTED 779 00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:12,313 ABORTION. 780 00:20:12,382 --> 00:20:13,681 BUT IF THEY LOSE THE SENATE NEXT 781 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,315 WEEK, THAT WILL CLEARLY CHANGE. 782 00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:15,550 MEANWHILE, IN KENTUCKY, THE 783 00:20:15,619 --> 00:20:16,184 INCUMBENT GOVERNOR, ANDY BESHEAR 784 00:20:16,253 --> 00:20:19,387 IS BEING CHALLENGED BY 785 00:20:19,456 --> 00:20:22,623 CONSERVATIVE AG DANIEL CAMERON 786 00:20:22,692 --> 00:20:23,691 -- WHO YOU MIGHT REMEMBER FROM 787 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:27,295 DISASTROUS HANDLING OF THE 788 00:20:27,364 --> 00:20:27,728 BREONNA TAYLOR CASE. 789 00:20:27,797 --> 00:20:28,162 HE'S ALSO SAID IN A 790 00:20:28,231 --> 00:20:28,763 QUESTIONNAIRE CIRCULATED BY AN 791 00:20:28,832 --> 00:20:29,363 ANTI-ABORTION GROUP THAT HE'D 792 00:20:29,432 --> 00:20:30,331 SUPPORT CODIFYING PERSONHOOD 793 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:30,832 FROM THE MOMENT OF 794 00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:31,766 FERTILIZATION, AND CRIMINALIZING 795 00:20:31,835 --> 00:20:36,270 PROVIDERS WHO PERFORM ABORTIONS. 796 00:20:36,339 --> 00:20:36,871 AND WHILE ALL THAT'S OBVIOUSLY 797 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:37,505 TERRIBLE -- HOW EXACTLY DOES HE 798 00:20:37,574 --> 00:20:39,040 INTEND TO ENFORCE LIFE BEGINNING 799 00:20:39,109 --> 00:20:40,508 "AT FERTILIZATION?" 800 00:20:40,577 --> 00:20:41,109 DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO FUCK IN 801 00:20:41,178 --> 00:20:46,247 FRONT OF HIM? 802 00:20:46,316 --> 00:20:47,782 NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH, DANIEL! 803 00:20:47,851 --> 00:20:48,382 THE ONLY KENTUCKIAN WHO SHOULD 804 00:20:48,451 --> 00:20:49,117 ENJOY THAT PRIVILEGE IS THE 805 00:20:49,186 --> 00:20:51,185 COLONEL. 806 00:20:51,254 --> 00:20:51,752 AND NO, NOT THAT ONE -- I'M 807 00:20:51,821 --> 00:20:52,753 TALKING ABOUT THE REBA COLONEL. 808 00:20:52,822 --> 00:20:55,256 THERE WE GO. 809 00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:57,325 SIR, MADAM, ENBY ICON: IT WOULD 810 00:20:57,394 --> 00:20:58,459 BE AN HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE TO 811 00:20:58,528 --> 00:21:02,130 FORNICATE IN YOUR PRESENCE. 812 00:21:02,199 --> 00:21:02,697 AND FINALLY, IF YOU LIVE IN 813 00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:05,166 OHIO, A BALLOT MEASURE ON 814 00:21:05,235 --> 00:21:05,766 TUESDAY WOULD ENSHRINE A RIGHT 815 00:21:05,835 --> 00:21:06,334 TO ABORTION IN YOUR STATE'S 816 00:21:06,403 --> 00:21:07,368 CONSTITUTION. 817 00:21:07,437 --> 00:21:08,169 IT'S A MEASURE THAT'S CURRENTLY 818 00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:09,203 BEING TARGETED BY ITS OPPONENTS 819 00:21:09,272 --> 00:21:09,837 IN SOME WILDLY MISLEADING 820 00:21:09,906 --> 00:21:13,241 CAMPAIGN ADS. 821 00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:13,775 >> THE ABORTION INDUSTRY'S 822 00:21:13,844 --> 00:21:14,909 PROPOSED AMENDMENT WOULD ALLOW 823 00:21:14,978 --> 00:21:20,281 NO LIMIT ABORTIONS IN OHIO, 824 00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:23,818 ABORTIONS WHEN THE BABY CAN FEEL 825 00:21:23,887 --> 00:21:26,654 PAIN, EXCRUCIATING PAIN. 826 00:21:26,723 --> 00:21:29,891 ON TOP OF THAT, THE SAME RADICAL 827 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:30,424 GROUPS WANT TO TEAR AT THE 828 00:21:30,493 --> 00:21:33,795 FABRIC THAT HOLDS OUR FAMILIES 829 00:21:33,864 --> 00:21:34,428 TOGETHER, ALLOW OUR CHILDREN TO 830 00:21:34,497 --> 00:21:36,631 GET ABORTIONS WITHOUT OUR 831 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,166 CONSENT AND REMOVE ALL 832 00:21:38,235 --> 00:21:40,568 PROTECTIONS FOR THE UNBORN. 833 00:21:40,637 --> 00:21:41,102 AS PARENTS, IT'S OUR WORST 834 00:21:41,171 --> 00:21:43,070 NIGHTMARE. 835 00:21:43,139 --> 00:21:44,305 >> John: WOW, THAT AD'S ARGUMENT 836 00:21:44,374 --> 00:21:45,773 IS BASICALLY, "ABORTION RIGHTS 837 00:21:45,842 --> 00:21:47,074 ARE AN ASSAULT ON THE 838 00:21:47,143 --> 00:21:48,276 TRADITIONAL AMERICAN FAMILY: "A 839 00:21:48,345 --> 00:21:50,144 FATHER, A MOTHER, AND ANOTHER 840 00:21:50,213 --> 00:21:54,081 MOTHER WHO'S TWELVE." 841 00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:54,849 ALSO, IF, AS A PARENT, YOUR 842 00:21:54,918 --> 00:21:56,484 WORST NIGHTMARE IS YOUR CHILD 843 00:21:56,553 --> 00:21:57,485 GETTING PREGNANT AND NOT HAVING 844 00:21:57,554 --> 00:21:58,953 TO STAY THAT WAY IF THEY DON'T 845 00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:00,221 WANT TO, I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS 846 00:22:00,290 --> 00:22:00,688 WE JUST HAVE DIFFERENT 847 00:22:00,757 --> 00:22:02,123 NIGHTMARES. 848 00:22:02,192 --> 00:22:03,591 BECAUSE THERE'S AN OBJECTIVELY 849 00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:05,193 CORRECT HIERARCHY OF PARENTAL 850 00:22:05,262 --> 00:22:05,827 FEARS AND IT'S: ONE, LOSING ONE 851 00:22:05,896 --> 00:22:06,561 OF YOUR CHILDREN. 852 00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:07,061 TWO, SOMETHING TERRIBLE 853 00:22:07,130 --> 00:22:08,963 HAPPENING TO ONE OF YOUR 854 00:22:09,032 --> 00:22:09,864 CHILDREN. 855 00:22:09,933 --> 00:22:10,465 THREE, LOSING ONE OF THEM BUT 856 00:22:10,534 --> 00:22:11,766 NOT IN A DEAD WAY, IN THE "OH, 857 00:22:11,835 --> 00:22:12,400 FUCK, I CAN'T FIND THEM" WAY AND 858 00:22:12,469 --> 00:22:14,902 THEN YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHETHER 859 00:22:14,971 --> 00:22:15,870 TO LOOK FOR THEM ON YOUR OWN, OR 860 00:22:15,939 --> 00:22:17,105 LET SOMEONE KNOW IMMEDIATELY 861 00:22:17,174 --> 00:22:18,072 THAT THEY'RE MISSING. 862 00:22:18,141 --> 00:22:18,673 BECAUSE IF SOMETHING'S REALLY 863 00:22:18,742 --> 00:22:19,474 WRONG, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED 864 00:22:19,543 --> 00:22:19,674 HELP. 865 00:22:19,743 --> 00:22:21,142 BUT IF THEY'RE JUST KIND OF 866 00:22:21,211 --> 00:22:22,376 AROUND LOOKING FOR LEGO SETS, 867 00:22:22,445 --> 00:22:23,978 YOU DON'T WANT TO ANNOUNCE TO 868 00:22:24,047 --> 00:22:25,246 THE TARGET EMPLOYEES THAT YOU'RE 869 00:22:25,315 --> 00:22:26,147 A NEGLIGENT PARENT WHO MISPLACED 870 00:22:26,216 --> 00:22:27,415 YOUR CHILD. 871 00:22:27,484 --> 00:22:28,649 NUMBER FOUR, YOUR CHILDREN 872 00:22:28,718 --> 00:22:29,550 HATING YOU FOR EXACTLY THE 873 00:22:29,619 --> 00:22:30,585 PERSON YOU ARE, THAT'S NOT 874 00:22:30,654 --> 00:22:31,619 BECAUSE OF ANY MISUNDERSTANDING 875 00:22:31,688 --> 00:22:32,753 OR ANYTHING. 876 00:22:32,822 --> 00:22:34,188 YOUR KIDS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT 877 00:22:34,257 --> 00:22:34,655 YOU'RE ABOUT AND THEY 878 00:22:34,724 --> 00:22:35,857 JUSTIFIABLY WANT NOTHING TO DO 879 00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:37,592 WITH YOU. 880 00:22:37,661 --> 00:22:38,392 AND FINALLY, NUMBER FIVE, YOUR 881 00:22:38,461 --> 00:22:38,926 CHILD GETS REALLY GOOD AT 882 00:22:38,995 --> 00:22:41,095 SWIMMING. 883 00:22:41,164 --> 00:22:42,497 BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TO 884 00:22:42,566 --> 00:22:44,165 TAKE THEM TO THE POOL BY 5 A.M. 885 00:22:44,234 --> 00:22:44,699 EVERY OTHER MORNING FOR 10 886 00:22:44,768 --> 00:22:48,402 FUCKING YEARS. 887 00:22:48,471 --> 00:22:49,370 A CHILD EXERCISING BODILY 888 00:22:49,439 --> 00:22:50,738 AUTONOMY IS NOWHERE NEAR A WORST 889 00:22:50,807 --> 00:22:52,440 NIGHTMARE SCENARIO. 890 00:22:52,509 --> 00:22:53,341 EXCEPT FOR MAYBE THE SWIMMING 891 00:22:53,410 --> 00:22:55,343 THING. 892 00:22:55,412 --> 00:22:57,211 LOOK, THIS PAST YEAR AND A HALF 893 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,212 HAS CLEARLY BEEN DEVASTATING 894 00:22:58,281 --> 00:22:58,746 WHEN IT COMES TO ABORTION 895 00:22:58,815 --> 00:22:59,480 RIGHTS. 896 00:22:59,549 --> 00:23:00,715 AND TO BE CLEAR, I'M NOT JUST 897 00:23:00,784 --> 00:23:01,749 TALKING ABOUT THE QUOTE 898 00:23:01,818 --> 00:23:02,583 "UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES" AROUND 899 00:23:02,652 --> 00:23:04,886 WANTED PREGNANCIES. 900 00:23:04,955 --> 00:23:07,121 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE INTENDED 901 00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:07,722 ONES FOR UNWANTED PREGNANCIES, 902 00:23:07,791 --> 00:23:09,056 TOO. 903 00:23:09,125 --> 00:23:09,557 AN ABORTION IS A MEDICAL 904 00:23:09,626 --> 00:23:11,592 DECISION BETWEEN A PATIENT AND 905 00:23:11,661 --> 00:23:13,327 THEIR DOCTOR, FULL STOP. 906 00:23:13,396 --> 00:23:15,163 AND IT'S MADDENING TO SEE SOME 907 00:23:15,232 --> 00:23:16,464 PUSH TO MAKE THEIR STATES SAFE 908 00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:17,765 FOR LITTLE BABIES, WHILE ALSO 909 00:23:17,834 --> 00:23:19,567 MAKING IT FAR MORE DANGEROUS FOR 910 00:23:19,636 --> 00:23:22,570 THE PEOPLE THEY GROW UP TO BE. 911 00:23:22,639 --> 00:23:23,938 BUT THE HOPE HERE, AND THERE 912 00:23:24,007 --> 00:23:26,340 ACTUALLY IS HOPE, IS THAT AS 913 00:23:26,409 --> 00:23:27,742 MUCH AS THE NEEDS, LIVES, AND 914 00:23:27,811 --> 00:23:28,876 CHOICES OF WOMEN HAVE BEEN 915 00:23:28,945 --> 00:23:30,645 DISMISSED, IS ALSO HOW MUCH 916 00:23:30,714 --> 00:23:31,712 THEIR ANGER AND TENACITY HAS 917 00:23:31,781 --> 00:23:34,182 BEEN UNDERESTIMATED. 918 00:23:34,251 --> 00:23:34,816 YOU'VE SEEN DOCTORS AND MEDICAL 919 00:23:34,885 --> 00:23:37,251 PROFESSIONALS OFFERING THEIR 920 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,820 SELVES AND SERVICES. 921 00:23:38,889 --> 00:23:41,022 AND YOU'VE SEEN PEOPLE LIKE 922 00:23:41,091 --> 00:23:42,256 THESE, BRAVELY AND SELFLESSLY 923 00:23:42,325 --> 00:23:43,291 RELIVING PRIVATE, OFTEN 924 00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:44,025 DIFFICULT MOMENTS, TO EDUCATE 925 00:23:44,094 --> 00:23:46,461 AND GALVANIZE OTHERS. 926 00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:48,362 SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WORKING 927 00:23:48,431 --> 00:23:49,564 TIRELESSLY TO MAKE THIS BETTER. 928 00:23:49,633 --> 00:23:50,998 AND I WISH THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO. 929 00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:52,300 I WISH THEY COULD DEVOTE THEIR 930 00:23:52,369 --> 00:23:53,067 LIVES AND TALENTS TO SOMETHING 931 00:23:53,136 --> 00:23:55,136 BESIDES PUBLICLY FIGHTING FOR 932 00:23:55,205 --> 00:23:56,304 BASIC, NECESSARY HEALTHCARE. 933 00:23:56,373 --> 00:23:57,872 BUT THEY CAN'T. 934 00:23:57,941 --> 00:23:59,574 BECAUSE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. 935 00:23:59,643 --> 00:24:00,708 AND ONE THAT REQUIRES ACTION 936 00:24:00,777 --> 00:24:02,210 FROM ALL OF US. 937 00:24:02,279 --> 00:24:03,778 AND HOPEFULLY, ONE DAY, WE CAN 938 00:24:03,847 --> 00:24:05,646 EVENTUALLY GET TO A PLACE WHERE 939 00:24:05,715 --> 00:24:07,348 PEOPLE WHO WANT TO END A 940 00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:09,050 PREGNANCY, SAVE THEIR OWN LIFE, 941 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,419 OR MAKE ANY OTHER MEDICAL OR 942 00:24:11,488 --> 00:24:16,858 REPRODUCTIVE DECISION ABOUT 943 00:24:16,927 --> 00:24:17,625 THEIR OWN BODY, WILL NOT HAVE TO 944 00:24:17,694 --> 00:24:18,459 SEEK OUT THE SAME LEGAL 945 00:24:18,528 --> 00:24:19,093 LOOPHOLES THAT THE "MONEY PLANE" 946 00:24:19,162 --> 00:24:19,694 PROVIDES FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO 947 00:24:19,763 --> 00:24:21,262 BET ON A DUDE FUCKING AN 948 00:24:21,331 --> 00:24:23,030 ALLIGATOR IN FRONT OF FRASIER. 949 00:24:23,099 --> 00:24:26,033 AND NOW THIS. 950 00:24:26,102 --> 00:24:27,535 >> Announcer: AND NOW, 951 00:24:27,604 --> 00:24:30,037 IT WAS HALLOWEEN AND LOCAL TV 952 00:24:30,106 --> 00:24:31,572 HOSTS DID WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO. 953 00:24:31,641 --> 00:24:35,910 ♪ ♪ 954 00:24:35,979 --> 00:24:38,913 >> ICE ICE. 955 00:24:38,982 --> 00:24:41,816 >> BABY. 956 00:24:41,885 --> 00:24:47,155 BABY. 957 00:24:47,224 --> 00:24:48,689 >> I HAD TO TAN ON MY COSTUME. 958 00:24:48,758 --> 00:24:50,158 >> I SHOULD'VE DONE SOME 959 00:24:50,227 --> 00:24:51,425 RESEARCH INTO WHAT TELETUBBIES 960 00:24:51,494 --> 00:24:54,028 DID. 961 00:24:54,097 --> 00:24:55,363 I THINK THEY'RE WALKING AROUND 962 00:24:55,432 --> 00:24:57,165 EATING CUSTARD OR SOMETHING. 963 00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:59,033 >> THEN HE GOES LIKE THAT. 964 00:24:59,102 --> 00:24:59,634 >> HOW ARE YOU DOING ON THIS 965 00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:01,536 HALLOWEEN? 966 00:25:01,605 --> 00:25:02,170 >> I CAN'T BREATHE THROUGH THIS 967 00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:08,910 THING. 968 00:25:08,979 --> 00:25:09,744 >> I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ON. 969 00:25:09,813 --> 00:25:10,344 I'M SWEATING BUCKETS, I CAN'T 970 00:25:10,413 --> 00:25:11,078 GRASP ANYTHING. 971 00:25:11,147 --> 00:25:11,946 >> I CAN'T TURN THE PAGES. 972 00:25:12,015 --> 00:25:12,947 >> HI, BARBIE! 973 00:25:13,016 --> 00:25:14,182 >> HI, BARBIE! 974 00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:15,616 >> HI, KEN! 975 00:25:15,685 --> 00:25:16,717 >> WHAT'S UP, LADIES? 976 00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:17,952 >> YOU SAY, HI, BARBIE. 977 00:25:18,021 --> 00:25:21,556 >> OH, HI, BARBIE. 978 00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:23,825 >> AND WE ARE GOING TO BRING 979 00:25:23,894 --> 00:25:26,627 THAT ALIEN INTO THE STUDIO AND 980 00:25:26,696 --> 00:25:27,895 THAT ALIEN DOES WEATHER. 981 00:25:27,964 --> 00:25:28,729 >> 10 DEGREES BELOW AVERAGE FOR 982 00:25:28,798 --> 00:25:34,635 THIS TIME OF YEAR. 983 00:25:34,704 --> 00:25:35,770 TEMPERATURES IN THE UPPER 50s 984 00:25:35,839 --> 00:25:36,170 AND LOW 60s. 985 00:25:36,239 --> 00:25:36,804 >> A LITTLE COOLER, 50 RIGHT ON 986 00:25:36,873 --> 00:25:37,572 THE MONEY UP THERE. 987 00:25:37,641 --> 00:25:44,641 >> YOU HURT HIM. 988 00:25:45,115 --> 00:25:45,680 >> WE'RE JUST HAVING A BALL HERE 989 00:25:45,749 --> 00:25:47,348 TODAY, FOLKS. 990 00:25:47,417 --> 00:25:50,017 ♪ ♪ 991 00:25:50,086 --> 00:25:51,986 [LAUGHTER] 992 00:25:52,055 --> 00:25:52,420 >> John: MOVING ON. 993 00:25:52,489 --> 00:25:53,020 FINALLY TONIGHT, A QUICK WORD 994 00:25:53,089 --> 00:25:54,288 ABOUT NEW ZEALAND. 995 00:25:54,357 --> 00:25:54,889 A VAST FANTASY WORLD THAT WAS 996 00:25:54,958 --> 00:25:55,957 INVENTED BY J.R.R. TOLKIEN TO BE 997 00:25:56,026 --> 00:25:57,158 THE FILMING LOCATION FOR 998 00:25:57,227 --> 00:25:59,460 "THE LORD OF THE RINGS." 999 00:25:59,529 --> 00:26:00,394 SPECIFICALLY, I'D LIKE TO TALK 1000 00:26:00,463 --> 00:26:01,662 ABOUT A VERY IMPORTANT ELECTION 1001 00:26:01,731 --> 00:26:02,063 THERE. 1002 00:26:02,132 --> 00:26:02,897 NOT THEIR GENERAL ELECTION, 1003 00:26:02,966 --> 00:26:04,065 WHICH HAPPENED THREE WEEKS AGO 1004 00:26:04,134 --> 00:26:05,600 AND NO ONE NOTICED. 1005 00:26:05,669 --> 00:26:08,202 NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS. 1006 00:26:08,271 --> 00:26:10,037 >> IT'S THE BIG DAY. 1007 00:26:10,106 --> 00:26:10,972 CANDIDATES ARE BEING WOKEN UP 1008 00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:12,406 AND ASSESSED FOR THEIR CAMPAIGN 1009 00:26:12,475 --> 00:26:14,408 READINESS. 1010 00:26:14,477 --> 00:26:14,976 VOTING IS DUE TO RUN FOR TWO 1011 00:26:15,045 --> 00:26:16,978 WEEKS. 1012 00:26:17,047 --> 00:26:18,679 SUPPORTERS OF EACH BIRD ARE 1013 00:26:18,748 --> 00:26:19,781 HOPING IN THAT TIME ENOUGH NEW 1014 00:26:19,850 --> 00:26:21,149 ZEALANDERS SHARE THEIR VISION OF 1015 00:26:21,218 --> 00:26:23,117 WHAT COULD BE. 1016 00:26:23,186 --> 00:26:24,752 >> CALL YOURSELF A KIWI? 1017 00:26:24,821 --> 00:26:27,388 VOTE KIWI, BIRD OF THE CENTURY. 1018 00:26:27,457 --> 00:26:28,256 >> John: YES, IT'S NEW ZEALAND'S 1019 00:26:28,325 --> 00:26:29,991 BIRD OF THE CENTURY COMPETITION. 1020 00:26:30,060 --> 00:26:31,993 AND KUDOS FOR STEALING THE THEME 1021 00:26:32,062 --> 00:26:33,094 FROM "VEEP" THERE, TO REALLY 1022 00:26:33,163 --> 00:26:34,061 DRIVE HOME THE GRAVITY OF THE 1023 00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:35,830 CONTEST. 1024 00:26:35,899 --> 00:26:37,665 BECAUSE THIS IS A BIG DEAL. 1025 00:26:37,734 --> 00:26:39,634 NEW ZEALANDERS LOVE BIRDS. 1026 00:26:39,703 --> 00:26:40,868 THEY'RE FAMOUSLY KNOWN AS 1027 00:26:40,937 --> 00:26:42,603 "KIWIS," AFTER THE KIWI BIRD. 1028 00:26:42,672 --> 00:26:43,805 AND BIRDS FEATURE PROMINENTLY ON 1029 00:26:43,874 --> 00:26:44,472 THEIR CURRENCY. 1030 00:26:44,541 --> 00:26:45,706 WHICH IS FRANKLY MUCH BETTER 1031 00:26:45,775 --> 00:26:46,908 THAN WHAT U.S. BILLS HAVE ON 1032 00:26:46,977 --> 00:26:48,509 THEM, WHICH IS "ASSORTED RACISTS 1033 00:26:48,578 --> 00:26:52,413 AND TRACE AMOUNTS OF COCAINE." 1034 00:26:52,482 --> 00:26:53,948 NEW ZEALAND ALSO HAS A LOT OF 1035 00:26:54,017 --> 00:26:55,316 UNIQUE BIRDS. 1036 00:26:55,385 --> 00:26:57,218 A 2017 GOVERNMENT REPORT FOUND 1037 00:26:57,287 --> 00:26:59,821 THAT OF THE 168 SPECIES OF 1038 00:26:59,890 --> 00:27:00,888 NATIVE BIRDS IN NEW ZEALAND, 93 1039 00:27:00,957 --> 00:27:01,489 WERE ENDEMIC, MEANING THEY'RE 1040 00:27:01,558 --> 00:27:04,358 FOUND NOWHERE ELSE. 1041 00:27:04,427 --> 00:27:05,460 BUT IN THE PAST COUPLE OF 1042 00:27:05,529 --> 00:27:06,894 CENTURIES, THE NUMBERS OF NATIVE 1043 00:27:06,963 --> 00:27:07,628 BIRDS THERE HAVE DROPPED 1044 00:27:07,697 --> 00:27:09,997 DRAMATICALLY. 1045 00:27:10,066 --> 00:27:10,731 THAT'S WHY THE CONSERVATION 1046 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,667 ORGANIZATION FOREST & BIRD 1047 00:27:12,736 --> 00:27:13,668 STARTED A "BIRD OF THE YEAR" 1048 00:27:13,737 --> 00:27:15,069 COMPETITION BACK IN 2005 TO 1049 00:27:15,138 --> 00:27:16,537 RAISE AWARENESS OF NATIVE BIRDS 1050 00:27:16,606 --> 00:27:18,639 AND THE THREATS THEY FACE. 1051 00:27:18,708 --> 00:27:20,341 AND THIS YEAR, IT'S "BIRD OF THE 1052 00:27:20,410 --> 00:27:20,942 CENTURY," WHICH IS CLEARLY THE 1053 00:27:21,011 --> 00:27:23,144 BIGGEST ONE YET. 1054 00:27:23,213 --> 00:27:24,412 BUT FOR A WELL-MEANING 1055 00:27:24,481 --> 00:27:25,913 COMPETITION, IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN 1056 00:27:25,982 --> 00:27:26,881 A BIT OF A LIGHTNING ROD FOR 1057 00:27:26,950 --> 00:27:27,915 CONTROVERSY IN THE PAST. 1058 00:27:27,984 --> 00:27:28,950 JUST TAKE THE REACTION TO WHAT 1059 00:27:29,019 --> 00:27:29,550 HAPPENED AHEAD OF LAST YEAR'S 1060 00:27:29,619 --> 00:27:31,652 CONTEST. 1061 00:27:31,721 --> 00:27:33,488 >> THE WORLD'S FATTEST PARROT, 1062 00:27:33,557 --> 00:27:34,255 THE KAKAPO, HAS BEEN KICKED OUT. 1063 00:27:34,324 --> 00:27:35,623 MELISSA, WHY? 1064 00:27:35,692 --> 00:27:36,991 >> WELL, BECAUSE IT'S WON TWO 1065 00:27:37,060 --> 00:27:38,759 TIMES PREVIOUSLY, 2020 AND 2008. 1066 00:27:38,828 --> 00:27:41,229 >> TOO BIG FOR ITS BOOTS. 1067 00:27:41,298 --> 00:27:42,130 >> WELL, WHAT THEY'RE WORRIED 1068 00:27:42,199 --> 00:27:43,264 ABOUT IS THAT IT'S TAKING THE 1069 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:43,831 SPOTLIGHT FROM LESSER-KNOWN 1070 00:27:43,900 --> 00:27:45,967 BIRDS. 1071 00:27:46,036 --> 00:27:48,136 >> John: IT'S TRUE, THIS BIRD, 1072 00:27:48,205 --> 00:27:49,737 THE KAKAPO, WAS DISQUALIFIED 1073 00:27:49,806 --> 00:27:51,072 BECAUSE IT HAD ALREADY WON 1074 00:27:51,141 --> 00:27:51,706 TWICE. 1075 00:27:51,775 --> 00:27:53,541 WHICH IS BULLSHIT. 1076 00:27:53,610 --> 00:27:54,308 WE DON'T DO THAT FOR OTHER 1077 00:27:54,377 --> 00:27:55,543 AWARDS. 1078 00:27:55,612 --> 00:27:56,444 "SORRY, BEYONCE, BUT SINCE 1079 00:27:56,513 --> 00:27:57,912 YOU'VE ALREADY WON 32 GRAMMYS, 1080 00:27:57,981 --> 00:27:59,247 YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED FROM NOW ON 1081 00:27:59,316 --> 00:28:00,515 SO THAT SOMEONE WORSE THAN YOU 1082 00:28:00,584 --> 00:28:00,948 CAN WIN. 1083 00:28:01,017 --> 00:28:03,317 I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND!" 1084 00:28:03,386 --> 00:28:05,253 BESIDES, THE KAKAPO EARNED THOSE 1085 00:28:05,322 --> 00:28:06,120 WINS. 1086 00:28:06,189 --> 00:28:09,791 IT'S THE WORLD'S FATTEST PARROT. 1087 00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:10,925 AND IF YOU'RE NOT ALREADY ON 1088 00:28:10,994 --> 00:28:11,926 BOARD: THEY'RE ALSO FRIENDLY, 1089 00:28:11,995 --> 00:28:13,828 AND THEY SMELL NICE. 1090 00:28:13,897 --> 00:28:14,796 THOSE ARE TWO QUALITIES I HAVE 1091 00:28:14,865 --> 00:28:16,397 NEVER ASSOCIATED WITH ANY BIRD, 1092 00:28:16,466 --> 00:28:19,767 PRESENT COMPANY INCLUDED. 1093 00:28:19,836 --> 00:28:21,068 AND PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY OF 1094 00:28:21,137 --> 00:28:22,236 ALL, THE KAKAPO GIFTED THE WORLD 1095 00:28:22,305 --> 00:28:26,340 WITH THIS INCREDIBLE CLIP. 1096 00:28:26,409 --> 00:28:27,408 >> A TYPICAL MALE, SIROCCO IS 1097 00:28:27,477 --> 00:28:29,644 CLEARLY ONLY INTERESTED IN ONE 1098 00:28:29,713 --> 00:28:33,948 THING. 1099 00:28:34,017 --> 00:28:34,282 >> OH, HELLO! 1100 00:28:34,351 --> 00:28:37,552 >> OH, LOOK AT THAT! 1101 00:28:37,621 --> 00:28:39,720 >> OW! 1102 00:28:39,789 --> 00:28:43,224 GOD, HE'S GOT SHARP CLAWS. 1103 00:28:43,293 --> 00:28:43,991 >> HE'S GETTING A BIT FRISKY. 1104 00:28:44,060 --> 00:28:47,261 >> OW, OW! 1105 00:28:47,330 --> 00:28:48,362 >> DO YOU THINK IT IS A -- HE'S 1106 00:28:48,431 --> 00:28:50,331 ACTUALLY ATTEMPTING A SORT OF 1107 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,332 MATING RITUAL? 1108 00:28:51,401 --> 00:28:53,768 HE IS? 1109 00:28:53,837 --> 00:28:57,705 OH, MARK, YOU ARE BEING SHAGGED! 1110 00:28:57,774 --> 00:28:59,407 >> OW, WOW IT'S SHARP. 1111 00:28:59,476 --> 00:29:01,709 >> LOOK, HE'S SO HAPPY! 1112 00:29:01,778 --> 00:29:03,077 I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S ONE OF THE 1113 00:29:03,146 --> 00:29:06,747 FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN. 1114 00:29:06,816 --> 00:29:08,182 YOU ARE BEING SHAGGED BY A RARE 1115 00:29:08,251 --> 00:29:11,119 PARROT. 1116 00:29:11,188 --> 00:29:13,321 HE THINKS YOU ARE A FEMALE. 1117 00:29:13,390 --> 00:29:14,155 >> OW! 1118 00:29:14,224 --> 00:29:16,390 >> HE'S REALLY GOING FOR IT. 1119 00:29:16,459 --> 00:29:17,758 WOW, YOU'VE CHOSEN HIM. 1120 00:29:17,827 --> 00:29:18,526 IS IT -- ACTUALLY, YOU ARE IN 1121 00:29:18,595 --> 00:29:20,261 PAIN, AREN'T YOU? 1122 00:29:20,330 --> 00:29:21,229 >> John: SPECTACULAR. 1123 00:29:21,298 --> 00:29:22,630 JUST SPECTACULAR. 1124 00:29:22,699 --> 00:29:23,498 THOUGH SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THAT 1125 00:29:23,567 --> 00:29:24,565 KAKAPO. 1126 00:29:24,634 --> 00:29:25,800 I KNOW HE LOOKS HAPPY THERE BUT 1127 00:29:25,869 --> 00:29:27,769 CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW INSECURE HE 1128 00:29:27,838 --> 00:29:29,036 ALSO MUST HAVE FELT? 1129 00:29:29,105 --> 00:29:30,371 IMAGINE THIS: YOU'VE JUST MET 1130 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,339 SOMEONE THAT YOU INSTANTLY 1131 00:29:31,408 --> 00:29:32,406 CONNECT WITH, YOU BRING THEM 1132 00:29:32,475 --> 00:29:33,841 BACK TO YOUR PLACE, UNDRESS, GET 1133 00:29:33,910 --> 00:29:35,176 IN BED, START TO HAVE SEX -- YOU 1134 00:29:35,245 --> 00:29:37,845 KNOW WHAT, NO, MAKE LOVE. 1135 00:29:37,914 --> 00:29:41,449 BUT THE WHOLE TIME STEPHEN FRY 1136 00:29:41,518 --> 00:29:43,251 IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU POINTING, 1137 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:44,385 LAUGHING, AND SAYING "THIS IS 1138 00:29:44,454 --> 00:29:46,154 ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE 1139 00:29:46,223 --> 00:29:46,454 EVER SEEN?" 1140 00:29:46,523 --> 00:29:47,054 THEN SOMEONE TAKES THAT SEXUAL 1141 00:29:47,123 --> 00:29:47,655 HUMILIATION AND PUTS IT UP ON 1142 00:29:47,724 --> 00:29:49,157 YOUTUBE, WHERE IT'S VIEWED 1143 00:29:49,226 --> 00:29:51,926 25 MILLION TIMES? 1144 00:29:51,995 --> 00:29:53,361 THEN, SOME ASSHOLE ON HBO SHOWS 1145 00:29:53,430 --> 00:29:54,762 IT TO HIS STUDIO AUDIENCE, AND 1146 00:29:54,831 --> 00:29:56,597 THEY ALL LAUGH, TOO? 1147 00:29:56,666 --> 00:29:57,665 THE VERY FACT THAT THIS BIRD HAS 1148 00:29:57,734 --> 00:29:59,167 BEEN ABLE TO KEEP HIMSELF 1149 00:29:59,236 --> 00:30:02,370 AROUSED, HUMPING, AND FOCUSED ON 1150 00:30:02,439 --> 00:30:03,805 HIS PARTNER, THAT ZOOLOGIST'S 1151 00:30:03,874 --> 00:30:05,907 HEAD, IS, FRANKLY, HEROIC TO ME. 1152 00:30:05,976 --> 00:30:06,841 BUT AMAZINGLY, THE KAKAPO'S 1153 00:30:06,910 --> 00:30:08,643 DISQUALIFICATION WAS ACTUALLY A 1154 00:30:08,712 --> 00:30:10,778 STEP UP FROM 2021, WHEN THERE 1155 00:30:10,847 --> 00:30:12,547 WAS AN ABSOLUTE UPROAR AFTER A 1156 00:30:12,616 --> 00:30:13,414 BAT WAS AWARDED BIRD OF THE 1157 00:30:13,483 --> 00:30:15,383 YEAR. 1158 00:30:15,452 --> 00:30:17,051 SPECIFICALLY, THIS ABSOLUTE 1159 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:17,819 GOOBER OF A BAT, THE LONG-TAILED 1160 00:30:17,888 --> 00:30:19,620 BAT. 1161 00:30:19,689 --> 00:30:21,189 AND FORGET BIRD OF THE YEAR, I 1162 00:30:21,258 --> 00:30:22,056 WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE THAT BAT 1163 00:30:22,125 --> 00:30:24,525 "BAT OF THE YEAR." 1164 00:30:24,594 --> 00:30:25,059 APPARENTLY IT "TECHNICALLY 1165 00:30:25,128 --> 00:30:26,727 QUALIFIED" BECAUSE IT WAS 1166 00:30:26,796 --> 00:30:27,361 ENTERED USING THE TERM MANU, THE 1167 00:30:27,430 --> 00:30:29,497 MAORI WORD FOR BIRD, WHICH 1168 00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,098 GENERALLY MEANS WINGED CREATURE. 1169 00:30:31,167 --> 00:30:33,000 BUT COME ON. 1170 00:30:33,069 --> 00:30:34,335 JUST BECAUSE IT HAS WINGS, 1171 00:30:34,404 --> 00:30:36,771 THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH? 1172 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,072 VOTERS SHOULDN'T USE THE SAME 1173 00:30:38,141 --> 00:30:41,476 CRITERIA AS SOMEONE BOARDING A 1174 00:30:41,545 --> 00:30:42,543 SOUTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT. 1175 00:30:42,612 --> 00:30:43,678 AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE YEAR 1176 00:30:43,747 --> 00:30:44,278 BEFORE, THERE WAS YET ANOTHER 1177 00:30:44,347 --> 00:30:46,414 SCANDAL. 1178 00:30:46,483 --> 00:30:47,882 >> NEW ZEALAND'S BIRD OF THE 1179 00:30:47,951 --> 00:30:49,684 YEAR COMPETITION HAS BEEN ROCKED 1180 00:30:49,753 --> 00:30:52,120 WITH REVELATIONS OF A SLEW OF 1181 00:30:52,189 --> 00:30:53,087 FRAUDULENT VOTES STREAMED IN 1182 00:30:53,156 --> 00:30:56,190 OVERNIGHT FOR THE LITTLE SPOTTED 1183 00:30:56,259 --> 00:30:57,959 KIWI WHICH PUSHED IT INTO AN 1184 00:30:58,028 --> 00:31:00,561 UNEXPECTED AND FALSE LEAD. 1185 00:31:00,630 --> 00:31:03,498 >> John: YEAH, BIRD VOTER FRAUD! 1186 00:31:03,567 --> 00:31:05,166 AND I THINK MY FAVORITE PART 1187 00:31:05,235 --> 00:31:05,766 ABOUT THAT IS THE NEWS ANCHOR 1188 00:31:05,835 --> 00:31:07,268 CALLING THE LITTLE SPOTTED 1189 00:31:07,337 --> 00:31:12,673 KIWI'S LEAD "UNEXPECTED." 1190 00:31:12,742 --> 00:31:13,241 BECAUSE THAT IS AN EXCELLENT 1191 00:31:13,310 --> 00:31:13,508 BIRD NEG. 1192 00:31:13,577 --> 00:31:14,108 "YEAH, OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE WAS 1193 00:31:14,177 --> 00:31:14,742 SHOCKED WHEN THEY SAW THE LITTLE 1194 00:31:14,811 --> 00:31:15,676 SPOTTED KIWI IN THE LEAD AND 1195 00:31:15,745 --> 00:31:17,078 IMMEDIATELY KNEW SOMETHING WAS 1196 00:31:17,147 --> 00:31:17,278 AFOOT. 1197 00:31:17,347 --> 00:31:18,846 OBVIOUSLY THERE'S NO WAY THIS 1198 00:31:18,915 --> 00:31:19,781 LITTLE FLIGHTLESS FREAK COULD 1199 00:31:19,850 --> 00:31:21,149 EVER WIN ANYTHING LEGITIMATELY, 1200 00:31:21,218 --> 00:31:22,283 EXCEPT MAYBE A FUCKED-UP FERRET 1201 00:31:22,352 --> 00:31:25,052 LOOKALIKE CONTEST." 1202 00:31:25,121 --> 00:31:26,354 AND THE THING IS, THERE ACTUALLY 1203 00:31:26,423 --> 00:31:27,622 HAVE BEEN A NUMBER OF 1204 00:31:27,691 --> 00:31:28,623 VOTE-STUFFING SCANDALS OVER THE 1205 00:31:28,692 --> 00:31:30,291 YEARS. 1206 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,927 IN 2015, TWO 15-YEAR-OLD TWINS 1207 00:31:32,996 --> 00:31:35,129 USED THEIR PARENTS' BUSINESS 1208 00:31:35,198 --> 00:31:36,697 EMAIL ACCOUNT TO MAKE HUNDREDS 1209 00:31:36,766 --> 00:31:38,966 OF FAKE EMAILS, TO VOTE OVER 200 1210 00:31:39,035 --> 00:31:39,534 TIMES FOR THE KOKAKO -- THIS 1211 00:31:39,603 --> 00:31:42,069 BLUE THING. 1212 00:31:42,138 --> 00:31:43,271 THEN, TWO YEARS LATER, ANOTHER 1213 00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:45,306 VOTER FRAUD ATTEMPT WAS 1214 00:31:45,375 --> 00:31:46,007 DISCOVERED WHEN OVER A HUNDRED 1215 00:31:46,076 --> 00:31:47,608 FRAUDULENT VOTES WERE CAST FOR 1216 00:31:47,677 --> 00:31:48,876 THE WHITE-FACED HERON -- 1217 00:31:48,945 --> 00:31:50,144 SOMETHING FOREST & BIRD TOOK IN 1218 00:31:50,213 --> 00:31:51,412 STRIDE, SAYING: "WE'RE NOT MAD, 1219 00:31:51,481 --> 00:31:53,047 JUST IMPRESSED THAT SOMEONE 1220 00:31:53,116 --> 00:31:54,382 CARES ENOUGH ABOUT NEW ZEALAND'S 1221 00:31:54,451 --> 00:31:54,882 NATIVE BIRDS TO RIG THE 1222 00:31:54,951 --> 00:31:57,151 COMPETITION." 1223 00:31:57,220 --> 00:32:04,091 AND I'M GLAD THEY WEREN'T MAD 1224 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:04,525 BUT I DEFINITELY AM. 1225 00:32:04,594 --> 00:32:05,059 BECAUSE THIS FUCKING THING 1226 00:32:05,128 --> 00:32:05,660 DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE ANYWHERE 1227 00:32:05,729 --> 00:32:06,861 NEAR THE BIRD OF THE YEAR AWARD. 1228 00:32:06,930 --> 00:32:07,428 IT LOOKS LIKE A PIGEON TOOK 1229 00:32:07,497 --> 00:32:10,465 ANABOLIC STEROIDS. 1230 00:32:10,534 --> 00:32:11,299 I HATE THIS BIRD! 1231 00:32:11,368 --> 00:32:11,933 BUT THIS ALL SPEAKS TO HOW MUCH 1232 00:32:12,002 --> 00:32:12,467 THE PEOPLE OF NEW ZEALAND 1233 00:32:12,536 --> 00:32:13,801 JUSTIFIABLY LOVE THIS 1234 00:32:13,870 --> 00:32:14,102 COMPETITION. 1235 00:32:14,171 --> 00:32:14,735 THERE ARE CAMPAIGN MANAGERS FOR 1236 00:32:14,804 --> 00:32:16,704 EACH BIRD CANDIDATE, AND THE 1237 00:32:16,773 --> 00:32:20,541 ELECTIONEERING CAN BE INTENSE. 1238 00:32:20,610 --> 00:32:21,142 IN 2019, THE CAMPAIGN FOR THE 1239 00:32:21,211 --> 00:32:23,411 ROCKHOPPER CREATED A SERIES OF 1240 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,012 MOVIE PARODY POSTERS, INCLUDING 1241 00:32:25,081 --> 00:32:26,814 "ROCKY HOPPER PICTURE SHOW" AND 1242 00:32:26,883 --> 00:32:28,716 "SCHOOL OF ROCKHOPPER." 1243 00:32:28,785 --> 00:32:29,183 WHICH ARE BOTH CLEARLY 1244 00:32:29,252 --> 00:32:30,084 EXCELLENT. 1245 00:32:30,153 --> 00:32:32,053 BUT MY FAVORITE ENDORSEMENT CAME 1246 00:32:32,122 --> 00:32:33,087 FROM ADULT TOY MEGASTORE -- AN 1247 00:32:33,156 --> 00:32:35,356 ONLINE RETAILER WHICH CAMPAIGNED 1248 00:32:35,425 --> 00:32:36,657 FOR THE HIHI BIRD, CLAIMING THAT 1249 00:32:36,726 --> 00:32:38,326 THE "MALE HIHI HAVE THE LARGEST 1250 00:32:38,395 --> 00:32:40,795 TESTICLES IN THE BIRD WORLD" AND 1251 00:32:40,864 --> 00:32:45,099 "THE HIHI IS THE SEX-POSITIVE 1252 00:32:45,168 --> 00:32:45,666 POLYAMOROUS IDOL OF THE BIRD 1253 00:32:45,735 --> 00:32:46,300 WORLD WITH THE BIGGEST BALLS TO 1254 00:32:46,369 --> 00:32:47,668 BOOT." 1255 00:32:47,737 --> 00:32:48,369 THERE ARE EVEN HONEST-TO-GOD 1256 00:32:48,438 --> 00:32:50,171 BIRD OF THE YEAR DEBATES, WHERE 1257 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,305 CAMPAIGNERS FACE OFF AGAINST 1258 00:32:51,374 --> 00:32:52,640 EACH OTHER. 1259 00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:53,274 >> I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO YOUR 1260 00:32:53,343 --> 00:32:55,877 BEST IMPRESSION OF YOUR BIRD'S 1261 00:32:55,946 --> 00:32:56,778 CALL. 1262 00:32:56,847 --> 00:32:57,779 SO, WE'RE GONNA START WITH 1263 00:32:57,848 --> 00:32:58,913 FRANCES. 1264 00:32:58,982 --> 00:33:01,349 GOOD LUCK. 1265 00:33:01,418 --> 00:33:01,949 >> REEEEH! 1266 00:33:02,018 --> 00:33:03,384 REEEEEEH! 1267 00:33:03,453 --> 00:33:04,018 >> EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE 1268 00:33:04,087 --> 00:33:04,485 EE! 1269 00:33:04,554 --> 00:33:06,554 EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE 1270 00:33:06,623 --> 00:33:07,188 EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE EE 1271 00:33:07,257 --> 00:33:08,122 EE! 1272 00:33:08,191 --> 00:33:09,090 >> EEE! 1273 00:33:09,159 --> 00:33:10,825 EEE! 1274 00:33:10,894 --> 00:33:13,795 EEE! 1275 00:33:13,864 --> 00:33:14,629 >> John: THAT'S A REAL DEBATE ON 1276 00:33:14,698 --> 00:33:15,763 NEW ZEALAND RADIO! 1277 00:33:15,832 --> 00:33:16,998 AND JUST IMAGINE TURNING THAT 1278 00:33:17,067 --> 00:33:17,899 DEBATE ON MIDWAY THROUGH, 1279 00:33:17,968 --> 00:33:20,535 WITHOUT HEARING THE QUESTION. 1280 00:33:20,604 --> 00:33:22,203 IT'D SOUND LIKE YOU'RE LISTENING 1281 00:33:22,272 --> 00:33:28,943 TO AN ORGY OF HAUNTED DOLLS. 1282 00:33:29,012 --> 00:33:29,610 NOW, AT THIS POINT, YOU MIGHT BE 1283 00:33:29,679 --> 00:33:30,645 THINKING, "WOW, I WISH THERE WAS 1284 00:33:30,714 --> 00:33:32,613 A BIRD OF THE YEAR COMPETITION 1285 00:33:32,682 --> 00:33:33,948 THIS SPECTACULAR HERE IN THE 1286 00:33:34,017 --> 00:33:34,549 U.S. THAT WE COULD PARTICIPATE 1287 00:33:34,618 --> 00:33:35,783 IN." 1288 00:33:35,852 --> 00:33:37,251 AND WELL, I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS AND 1289 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,120 BAD NEWS. 1290 00:33:39,189 --> 00:33:41,022 THE BAD NEWS IS: THERE ISN'T. 1291 00:33:41,091 --> 00:33:42,590 THE GOOD NEWS IS: NEW ZEALAND'S 1292 00:33:42,659 --> 00:33:44,258 CONTEST IS NOT ACTUALLY 1293 00:33:44,327 --> 00:33:46,761 RESTRICTED TO JUST NEW ZEALAND. 1294 00:33:46,830 --> 00:33:47,829 ANYONE IN THE WORLD CAN VOTE, AS 1295 00:33:47,898 --> 00:33:49,263 LONG AS THEY HAVE A VALID EMAIL. 1296 00:33:49,332 --> 00:33:50,264 AND NOT JUST THAT. 1297 00:33:50,333 --> 00:33:51,566 FOREST & BIRD THEMSELVES SAY 1298 00:33:51,635 --> 00:33:53,000 THEY "ENCOURAGE ANYONE WHO IS 1299 00:33:53,069 --> 00:33:54,168 PASSIONATE ABOUT THEIR FAVORITE 1300 00:33:54,237 --> 00:33:55,837 NATIVE BIRD TO CAMPAIGN 1301 00:33:55,906 --> 00:33:57,371 THROUGHOUT THE COMPETITION." 1302 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:58,473 AND BY NOW, I'M PRETTY SURE YOU 1303 00:33:58,542 --> 00:34:00,842 KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING. 1304 00:34:00,911 --> 00:34:01,909 BECAUSE WE ARE HEREBY ANNOUNCING 1305 00:34:01,978 --> 00:34:03,478 OURSELVES AS THE OFFICIAL 1306 00:34:03,547 --> 00:34:04,645 CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR WHAT WE 1307 00:34:04,714 --> 00:34:06,214 BELIEVE TO BE THE BEST CANDIDATE 1308 00:34:06,283 --> 00:34:07,582 FOR NEW ZEALAND'S BIRD OF THE 1309 00:34:07,651 --> 00:34:08,850 CENTURY. 1310 00:34:08,919 --> 00:34:12,720 I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT 1311 00:34:12,789 --> 00:34:13,754 THE PUTEKETEKE, ALSO KNOWN AS 1312 00:34:13,823 --> 00:34:14,589 THE AUSTRALASIAN CRESTED GREBE. 1313 00:34:14,658 --> 00:34:17,325 LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY! 1314 00:34:17,394 --> 00:34:17,925 IT LOOKS LIKE PAULY D FUCKED A 1315 00:34:17,994 --> 00:34:20,128 SWAN. 1316 00:34:20,197 --> 00:34:22,163 EVEN ITS NAME IS EVEN FUN TO 1317 00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:23,131 SAY. 1318 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,799 PUTEKETEKE. 1319 00:34:24,868 --> 00:34:25,700 PUTEKETEKE. 1320 00:34:25,769 --> 00:34:26,367 IT FEELS LIKE YOUR TONGUE IS 1321 00:34:26,436 --> 00:34:28,336 TAP-DANCING. 1322 00:34:28,405 --> 00:34:29,303 AND THERE ARE SO MANY FUN FACTS 1323 00:34:29,372 --> 00:34:29,871 ABOUT IT, LIKE THE FACT THAT 1324 00:34:29,940 --> 00:34:31,038 THEY'RE KNOWN FOR CARRYING THEIR 1325 00:34:31,107 --> 00:34:32,940 BABIES ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THIS, 1326 00:34:33,009 --> 00:34:34,308 WHICH, YES, IS ADORABLE. 1327 00:34:34,377 --> 00:34:35,643 AND BOTH PARENTS WILL INCUBATE 1328 00:34:35,712 --> 00:34:37,612 THE EGGS AND TEND TO THE CHICKS. 1329 00:34:37,681 --> 00:34:38,212 THEY GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE TO 1330 00:34:38,281 --> 00:34:39,247 CO-PARENT. 1331 00:34:39,316 --> 00:34:40,148 THEY DON'T STIFLE EACH OTHER, 1332 00:34:40,217 --> 00:34:41,182 YOU KNOW? 1333 00:34:41,251 --> 00:34:41,949 AND YOU WANT ELEGANCE? 1334 00:34:42,018 --> 00:34:44,418 I'LL GIVE YOU ELEGANCE. 1335 00:34:44,487 --> 00:34:46,087 THEY HAVE A MATING DANCE WHERE 1336 00:34:46,156 --> 00:34:47,622 THEY BOTH GRAB A CLUMP OF WET 1337 00:34:47,691 --> 00:34:49,290 GRASS AND CHEST-BUMP EACH OTHER, 1338 00:34:49,359 --> 00:34:50,424 BEFORE STANDING AROUND, UNSURE 1339 00:34:50,493 --> 00:34:53,127 OF WHAT TO DO NEXT. 1340 00:34:53,196 --> 00:34:55,263 I HAVE NEVER IDENTIFIED WITH 1341 00:34:55,332 --> 00:34:56,764 ANYTHING MORE IN MY FUCKING 1342 00:34:56,833 --> 00:35:01,469 LIFE. 1343 00:35:01,538 --> 00:35:02,336 [LAUGHTER AND CHEERING] 1344 00:35:02,405 --> 00:35:03,404 PUTEKETEKES ALSO -- AND THIS IS 1345 00:35:03,473 --> 00:35:04,005 TRUE -- EAT THEIR OWN FEATHERS 1346 00:35:04,074 --> 00:35:05,072 BY THE HUNDREDS TO PROTECT THEIR 1347 00:35:05,141 --> 00:35:06,140 STOMACHS DURING DIGESTION, AND 1348 00:35:06,209 --> 00:35:08,676 THEN WILL THROW UP A BALL OF 1349 00:35:08,745 --> 00:35:10,611 FEATHERS AND FISH BONES. 1350 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:11,846 THEY'RE WEIRD PUKING BIRDS WITH 1351 00:35:11,915 --> 00:35:13,114 COLORFUL MULLETS! 1352 00:35:13,183 --> 00:35:14,515 WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE HERE? 1353 00:35:14,584 --> 00:35:15,750 AND THERE'S ANOTHER REASON THAT 1354 00:35:15,819 --> 00:35:16,984 YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR THE 1355 00:35:17,053 --> 00:35:18,953 PUTEKETEKE, AND THAT'S THAT ITS 1356 00:35:19,022 --> 00:35:19,787 EXISTENCE IS UNDER THREAT. 1357 00:35:19,856 --> 00:35:21,589 IT'S ESTIMATED THAT ITS NEW 1358 00:35:21,658 --> 00:35:22,223 ZEALAND POPULATION NUMBERS FEWER 1359 00:35:22,292 --> 00:35:23,691 THAN 1,000 BIRDS. 1360 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,693 AND YET, TRAGICALLY, IT'S NEVER 1361 00:35:25,762 --> 00:35:27,795 WON BIRD OF THE YEAR BEFORE. 1362 00:35:27,864 --> 00:35:28,996 ALTHOUGH, TO BE HONEST, IT'S 1363 00:35:29,065 --> 00:35:30,465 ALSO NEVER HAD US CAMPAIGNING 1364 00:35:30,534 --> 00:35:32,366 FOR IT BEFORE, HAS IT? 1365 00:35:32,435 --> 00:35:34,302 AND I DO THINK WE CAN DO THIS. 1366 00:35:34,371 --> 00:35:35,770 LAST YEAR, WHEN THE ROCK WREN 1367 00:35:35,839 --> 00:35:38,406 WON, IT DID SO WITH 2,894 NUMBER 1368 00:35:38,475 --> 00:35:39,040 ONE VOTES, SO I'M PRETTY SURE WE 1369 00:35:39,109 --> 00:35:42,977 CAN BEAT. 1370 00:35:43,046 --> 00:35:43,644 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE WE'VE PUT 1371 00:35:43,713 --> 00:35:45,079 TOGETHER A CAMPAIGN WHICH COULD 1372 00:35:45,148 --> 00:35:46,314 REASONABLY BE DESCRIBED AS 1373 00:35:46,383 --> 00:35:50,051 "ALARMINGLY AGGRESSIVE." 1374 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,385 FIRST, WE PUT UP ADS IN 1375 00:35:51,454 --> 00:35:53,087 NEW ZEALAND PROMOTING THE 1376 00:35:53,156 --> 00:35:54,722 PUTEKETEKE AS 1377 00:35:54,791 --> 00:35:56,424 "THE LORD OF THE WINGS," WHICH 1378 00:35:56,493 --> 00:36:00,361 IS ALREADY VERY EXCITING. 1379 00:36:00,430 --> 00:36:00,995 BUT LOOK, WE DIDN'T STOP THERE. 1380 00:36:01,064 --> 00:36:01,629 BECAUSE REMEMBER, THE POTENTIAL 1381 00:36:01,698 --> 00:36:02,430 VOTERS ARE EVERY SINGLE 1382 00:36:02,499 --> 00:36:03,498 INHABITANT OF EARTH. 1383 00:36:03,567 --> 00:36:04,765 SO FOR THE LAST WEEK, THERE'S 1384 00:36:04,834 --> 00:36:06,033 ALSO BEEN A BUNCH OF BILLBOARDS 1385 00:36:06,102 --> 00:36:06,601 UP IN THE CENTER OF MUMBAI, 1386 00:36:06,670 --> 00:36:08,169 INDIA. 1387 00:36:08,238 --> 00:36:09,504 LOOK AT THEM! 1388 00:36:09,573 --> 00:36:10,538 THERE THEY ARE! 1389 00:36:10,607 --> 00:36:11,806 A CITY OF OVER 12 MILLION PEOPLE 1390 00:36:11,875 --> 00:36:12,373 -- THAT'S A LOT OF POTENTIAL 1391 00:36:12,442 --> 00:36:14,041 VOTES RIGHT THERE. 1392 00:36:14,110 --> 00:36:21,110 WE ALSO DESIGNED THIS STRIKING 1393 00:36:23,253 --> 00:36:23,751 ANIMATED AD IN JAPAN, IN THE 1394 00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:24,252 CENTER OF TOKYO, IN THE 1395 00:36:24,321 --> 00:36:24,852 SO-CALLED "BUSIEST CROSSING IN 1396 00:36:24,921 --> 00:36:25,453 THE WORLD," SO HOPEFULLY THAT 1397 00:36:25,522 --> 00:36:26,020 SHOULD BRING IN A FEW VOTES, 1398 00:36:26,089 --> 00:36:27,021 TOO. 1399 00:36:27,090 --> 00:36:28,189 NOW, WE TRIED TO GET THIS POSTER 1400 00:36:28,258 --> 00:36:29,757 PUT UP IN PARIS, BUT THEY 1401 00:36:29,826 --> 00:36:31,192 WOULDN'T DO IT, BECAUSE THE BIRD 1402 00:36:31,261 --> 00:36:33,728 WAS SMOKING, AND APPARENTLY 1403 00:36:33,797 --> 00:36:35,163 CIGARETTES ARE APPARENTLY BANNED 1404 00:36:35,232 --> 00:36:35,897 IN ADVERTISING THERE, WHICH 1405 00:36:35,966 --> 00:36:36,998 SEEMS RIDICULOUS, CONSIDERING 1406 00:36:37,067 --> 00:36:37,632 THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF FRANCE 1407 00:36:37,701 --> 00:36:41,035 SMOKES. 1408 00:36:41,104 --> 00:36:42,069 SO WE RELUCTANTLY TWEAKED IT AND 1409 00:36:42,138 --> 00:36:44,572 PUT THIS NON-SMOKING VERSION UP 1410 00:36:44,641 --> 00:36:46,808 ON THE CHAMPS D'ELYSEE, RIGHT 1411 00:36:46,877 --> 00:36:48,042 NEXT TO THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE, 1412 00:36:48,111 --> 00:36:48,776 WHICH HAS FRANKLY NEVER LOOKED 1413 00:36:48,845 --> 00:36:50,111 BETTER. 1414 00:36:50,180 --> 00:36:51,846 MEANWHILE, IN LONDON, WE MADE 1415 00:36:51,915 --> 00:36:53,214 THIS MOBILE AD TELLING EVERYONE 1416 00:36:53,283 --> 00:36:54,816 THERE TO "HELP US CROWN A REAL 1417 00:36:54,885 --> 00:36:57,952 KING," AND DROVE IT RIGHT PAST 1418 00:36:58,021 --> 00:36:59,554 THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT AND ALL 1419 00:36:59,623 --> 00:37:00,288 AROUND THE CITY. 1420 00:37:00,357 --> 00:37:01,389 AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "THAT'S 1421 00:37:01,458 --> 00:37:01,956 GREAT, JOHN, BUT WHAT ABOUT 1422 00:37:02,025 --> 00:37:02,423 BRAZIL? 1423 00:37:02,492 --> 00:37:03,458 SURELY YOU DID SOMETHING IN 1424 00:37:03,527 --> 00:37:08,196 BRAZIL!" 1425 00:37:08,265 --> 00:37:09,597 DON'T WORRY, IF YOU WERE ON 1426 00:37:09,666 --> 00:37:10,364 IPANEMA BEACH THIS WEEK, YOU 1427 00:37:10,433 --> 00:37:11,566 MIGHT'VE SEEN THIS PLANE FLYING 1428 00:37:11,635 --> 00:37:14,769 AROUND, WITH A "VOTE FOR THE 1429 00:37:14,838 --> 00:37:15,636 PUTEKETEKE" AD HANGING RIGHT OFF 1430 00:37:15,705 --> 00:37:17,839 THE BACK OF IT. 1431 00:37:17,908 --> 00:37:19,107 AND FINALLY, JUST TO PUSH US 1432 00:37:19,176 --> 00:37:21,075 OVER THE TOP, WE ALSO PUT UP 1433 00:37:21,144 --> 00:37:21,642 THIS BILLBOARD IN MANITOWOC, 1434 00:37:21,711 --> 00:37:24,312 WISCONSIN. 1435 00:37:24,381 --> 00:37:24,946 BECAUSE HEY, NOT EVERYONE LIVES 1436 00:37:25,015 --> 00:37:25,580 IN BIG CITIES. 1437 00:37:25,649 --> 00:37:26,781 AND IF YOU LIVE IN MANITOWOC, WE 1438 00:37:26,850 --> 00:37:28,349 NEED YOUR SUPPORT, TOO. 1439 00:37:28,418 --> 00:37:28,950 THE POINT IS, WE'RE GOING ALL 1440 00:37:29,019 --> 00:37:30,751 OUT FOR THIS THING. 1441 00:37:30,820 --> 00:37:33,054 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1442 00:37:33,123 --> 00:37:34,522 BECAUSE I DON'T JUST WANT THE 1443 00:37:34,591 --> 00:37:37,325 PUTEKETEKE TO WIN -- I WANT IT 1444 00:37:37,394 --> 00:37:38,960 TO WIN IN THE BIGGEST LANDSLIDE 1445 00:37:39,029 --> 00:37:40,228 IN THE HISTORY OF THIS 1446 00:37:40,297 --> 00:37:42,530 MAGNIFICENT COMPETITION. 1447 00:37:42,599 --> 00:37:44,198 I WANT IT TO DO TO OTHER BIRD OF 1448 00:37:44,267 --> 00:37:45,867 THE CENTURY CANDIDATES WHAT THE 1449 00:37:45,936 --> 00:37:47,668 PUTEKETEKE DOES TO FISH IN 1450 00:37:47,737 --> 00:37:49,036 NEW ZEALAND'S LAKES -- THAT IS, 1451 00:37:49,105 --> 00:37:50,037 EAT THEM ALIVE, AND THEN THROW 1452 00:37:50,106 --> 00:37:51,072 THEM BACK UP IN A BALL OF 1453 00:37:51,141 --> 00:37:52,673 FEATHERS. 1454 00:37:52,742 --> 00:37:53,875 BECAUSE THERE'S FRANKLY NO BIRD 1455 00:37:53,944 --> 00:37:56,611 ON EARTH MORE DESERVING OF THE 1456 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,845 TITLE "BIRD OF THE CENTURY" THAN 1457 00:37:57,914 --> 00:37:59,847 THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. 1458 00:37:59,916 --> 00:38:01,282 I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS THING! 1459 00:38:01,351 --> 00:38:03,317 IT'S IN YOUR HANDS. 1460 00:38:03,386 --> 00:38:05,987 SO PLEASE -- STOP IT -- BEFORE 1461 00:38:06,056 --> 00:38:07,622 THE CONTEST CLOSES AT THE END OF 1462 00:38:07,691 --> 00:38:13,194 THIS WEEK, GO TO 1463 00:38:13,263 --> 00:38:14,028 VoteThisBird.com AND SELECT THE 1464 00:38:14,097 --> 00:38:14,829 PUTEKETEKE AS YOUR NUMBER ONE 1465 00:38:14,898 --> 00:38:15,029 VOTE! 1466 00:38:15,098 --> 00:38:15,797 YOU NEED TO USE A REAL EMAIL 1467 00:38:15,866 --> 00:38:16,631 ADDRESS AND THEN VERIFY YOUR 1468 00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:17,298 VOTE. 1469 00:38:17,367 --> 00:38:19,333 DO IT! 1470 00:38:19,402 --> 00:38:21,002 BECAUSE AFTER ALL, THIS IS WHAT 1471 00:38:21,071 --> 00:38:22,570 DEMOCRACY IS ALL ABOUT: AMERICA 1472 00:38:22,639 --> 00:38:23,070 INTERFERING IN FOREIGN 1473 00:38:23,139 --> 00:38:26,908 ELECTIONS! 1474 00:38:26,977 --> 00:38:28,376 NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE ON 1475 00:38:28,445 --> 00:38:29,811 EARTH, MAKE SURE YOU VOTE FOR 1476 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,412 THIS ADORABLY WEIRD BIRD FREAK 1477 00:38:31,481 --> 00:38:32,947 AND TOGETHER, LET'S MAKE BIRD 1478 00:38:33,016 --> 00:38:34,315 HISTORY! 1479 00:38:34,384 --> 00:38:35,683 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1480 00:38:35,752 --> 00:38:36,751 THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1481 00:38:36,820 --> 00:38:37,518 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 1482 00:38:37,587 --> 00:38:38,286 WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 1483 00:38:38,355 --> 00:38:40,054 GOODNIGHT! 1484 00:38:40,123 --> 00:38:41,956 PUTEKETEKE! 1485 00:38:42,025 --> 00:38:45,827 PUTEKETEKE! 1486 00:38:45,896 --> 00:38:51,098 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1487 00:38:51,167 --> 00:38:58,167 ♪ ♪ 1488 00:39:13,290 --> 00:39:14,123 ♪ ♪