♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK!
ELECTIONS ON TUESDAY SAW BIG
WINS FOR DEMOCRATS.
OHIO VOTED TO ENSHRINE ABORTION
RIGHTS IN ITS STATE
CONSTITUTION.
AND, THE SAG STRIKE FINALLY
ENDED, MEANING MOVIES WILL BE
BACK IN PRODUCTION.
ALTHOUGH TO BE HONEST, I'M NOT
EVEN SURE I EVEN NEED MOVIES
ANYMORE, SINCE THIS 17 MINUTE
VIDEO WAS RELEASED OF WHAT I CAN
ONLY DESCRIBE AS A HAMSTER
GATSBY LIVING ITS BEST LIFE.
♪ ♪
[HAMSTER SQUEAKING]
♪ ♪
>> John: IT'S A COMPLETE
MASTERPIECE!
AND IT GOES ON FOR 16 MORE
MINUTES!
I MEAN "BARBENHEIMER" WAS FINE,
I LIKED IT FINE, BUT BE HONEST
-- IT'S JUST NOT AS GOOD AS
THAT.
AND I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED
WATCHING IT.
I REALLY DO.
BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO DIVE
STRAIGHT IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY
TONIGHT, WHICH CONCERNS THE
ONGOING WAR BETWEEN ISRAEL AND
HAMAS.
A SENTENCE WHICH IS A TERRIBLE
WAY TO START A COMEDY SHOW, AND
A GREAT WAY TO END A FIRST DATE.
AND LOOK, BEFORE WE EVEN BEGIN,
I KNOW A LOT OF THE CONVERSATION
SURROUNDING THIS HAS BEEN
EXTREMELY HEATED.
YOU MAY HAVE SEEN FRIENDS OR
COWORKERS POSTING HOT TAKES
THAT'VE SHOCKED YOU.
SUDDENLY THAT GUY WHO OFFERED
YOU COKE AT A WEDDING IS WRITING
THESIS LONG INSTAGRAM STORIES ON
THE TWO-STATE SOLUTION, KATHY
FROM WORK'S POSTING SOMETHING
THAT'S ANTISEMITIC IN A WAY YOU
REALLY HOPE SHE DOESN'T REALIZE,
AND IT'S ALL SHOVED IN BETWEEN
YOUR FAVORITE INFLUENCER SHOWING
HOLE, WHILE ALSO CALLING FOR A
FREE PALESTINE.
THE INTERNET IS A WILD PLACE.
THINGS ARE, UNDERSTANDABLY, VERY
TENSE RIGHT NOW, AND IT SEEMS
LIKE EVERYONE IS FINDING
THEMSELVES MAKING MISTAKES, AND
I DO MEAN EVERYONE.
>> MEANWHILE K-MART HAS HAD TO
PULL ONE ITS CHRISTMAS ITEMS OFF
THE SHELF BECAUSE OF ITS
UNFORTUNATE WORDING.
THE SHOPPING GIANT SELLING HAM
CHRISTMAS CALICO BAGS WITH THE
SLOGAN "MERRY HAM-MAS."
>> OH, NO.
>> WHICH APPEARS TO BE TOO
SIMILAR TO THE TERRORIST GROUP
HAMAS.
>> John: YEAH, THAT IS TOO
SIMILAR!
IT'D BE LIKE NAMING YOUR CHILD
JOHN BLAINE GACY, IT'S TOO CLOSE
FOR COMFORT.
BUT SPARE A THOUGHT FOR
AUSTRALIAN K-MART THERE, HOW
WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT
HAMAS WAS GOING TO LAUNCH A
TERRORIST ATTACK SO CLOSE TO THE
HAM-MAS SEASON!
CELEBRATE AND HAVE HEARD OF
BEFORE.
IT FEELS LIKE HAM-MAS STARTS A
LITTLE EARLIER EVERY YEAR,
DOESN'T IT?
ONE DAY IT'S HAM-OWEEN, THE
NEXT, YOUR NEIGHBOR'S HANGING
HAM-MAS LIGHTS.
AND CELEBRITIES HAVE ALSO FOUND
OUT THE HARD WAY THAT IT'S EASY
TO GET THINGS WRONG.
A FEW WEEKS AGO, JUSTIN BIEBER
POSTED "PRAYING FOR ISRAEL" OVER
A PICTURE OF A DEVASTATED CITY
THAT HE APPARENTLY DIDN'T
REALIZE WAS ACTUALLY GAZA.
HE THEN DELETED THE POST AND
RE-POSTED THE SAME PRAYERS OVER
A BLANK BACKGROUND.
WHICH, AS WE NOW KNOW,
THANKFULLY SOLVED EVERYTHING.
THERE WAS ALSO A STATEMENT
ISSUED BY A GROUP OF CELEBRITIES
CALLING FOR THE IMMEDIATE RETURN
OF ISRAELI HOSTAGES, WHICH TMZ
COVERED LIKE THIS.
>> ANYONE INVOLVED IT SEEMS IN
THE HOLLYWOOD INDUSTRY ALL PUT
THEIR NAMES TO A LETTER TO
PRESIDENT BIDEN.
IT REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE IT'S
EVERYONE.
IT'S CHRIS ROCK, IT'S
GWYNETH PALTROW, IT'S
ADAM SANDLER.
>> LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHO DOESN'T WANT TO GET THE
HOSTAGES OUT?
>> BRADLEY COOPER.
I MEAN, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> IT'S A NON-STATEMENT.
I MEAN, OF COURSE EVERYONE WANTS
TO GET THE HOSTAGES OUT.
>> I JUST THINK IT'S BEYOND
RIDICULOUS.
LIKE IF WE PLAY THAT OUT FOR A
SECOND.
JOE BIDEN'S GOING TO GET THIS
OPEN LETTER, AND BE LIKE WHAT?
"OH MY GOD, THE ROCK SIGNED
THIS."
[LAUGHTER]
WE HAVE TO GET THE HOSTAGES OUT.
LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
>> John: YEAH, AS MUCH AS I HATE
TO AGREE WITH PAPARAZZI
SPORTSCENTER, THEY'RE RIGHT
ABOUT THAT.
THE ROCK PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO
SOLVE THE CONFLICT IN THE
MIDDLE EAST.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS SO
OBVIOUS IT SHOULDN'T NEED
SAYING, LIKE PIE TASTES GOOD, OR
RAINBOWS ARE PRETTY, OR YOSHI IS
AMAZING IN THE SACK.
LOOK AT THAT TONGUE.
END OF DISCUSSION.
BUT EVEN AS HARVEY LEVIN LEVELED
SOME FAIR CRITIQUES ON THE UTTER
FUTILITY OF CELEBRITY, HE
COULDN'T HELP TAKING A PRETTY
STRONG STANCE OF HIS OWN.
>> THE STATEMENT OF A CEASEFIRE
IS THAT YOU ARE GOING -- RIGHT,
TO ALLOW HAMAS TO COME BACK IN
AND TRY TO EXTERMINATE THE JEWS
IN ISRAEL AND END ISRAEL.
>> PRESUMABLY THE CEASEFIRE
MEANS THAT HAMAS SHOULD NOT BE
ATTACKING EITHER.
>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE
CEASEFIRE MEANS.
>> RIGHT, AND HAMAS ATTACKED IN
THE FIRST PLACE.
THIS WAS A TERRORIST ATTACK, AND
THE IDEA THAT THERE'S GOING TO
BE A CEASEFIRE NOW INVITES HAMAS
JUST TO DO IT AGAIN.
>> John: YEAH, TMZ IS NOW
HASHING OUT ITS PREFERRED
SOLUTIONS FOR WHAT'S HAPPENING
IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
RAISING MANY QUESTIONS,
INCLUDING: WHAT EXACTLY IS TMZ
NOW?
IT USED TO BE "ESPN FOR
B-LISTERS LEAVING THE AIRPORT"
AND STORIES LIKE "THIS CELEBRITY
DIED AND NOT EVEN THEIR FAMILY
KNOWS YET," AND NOW IT'S DOING
GEOPOLITICS.
PICK A LANE, GUYS!
IT'S EITHER "JOSH GAD SPILLS ICE
CREAM ON HIS DOG" OR
"ARIEL SHARON'S IMPACT ON U.S.
FOREIGN POLICY."
YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH!
THE POINT IS, THERE ARE STRONG
OPINIONS EVERYWHERE -- AND IN
SOME CASES, THEY'VE UNDENIABLY
BEEN INFORMED BY BIGOTRY.
ANTI-SEMITIC INCIDENTS HAVE
SPIKE IN THE U.S. SINCE
IN THE PAST MONTH.
IT'S NOT BEEN AN EASY TIME TO
WEAR A
YARMULKE OR A HIJAB IN AMERICA
OVER THE MONTH -- AND I SAY THAT
KNOWING IT'S NOT NECESSARILY
BEEN EASY ON OUR BEST DAYS.
SO THERE ARE A THOUSAND
DIFFERENT REASONS WHY THIS IS
HARD TO TALK ABOUT, BUT IT DOES
FEEL IMPORTANT TO TRY.
AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY KNOW, ON
OCTOBER 7TH, HAMAS-LED MILITANTS
LAUNCHED AN UNPRECEDENTED AND
BRUTAL ATTACK AGAINST ISRAEL,
KILLING OVER 1,000 PEOPLE --
MOSTLY CIVILIANS, INCLUDING
WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THEIR
HOMES -- IN WHAT ENDED UP BEING
THE DEADLIEST DAY FOR JEWS SINCE
THE HOLOCAUST.
OVER 200 HOSTAGES WERE TAKEN,
INCLUDING A NINE-MONTH-OLD BABY,
MOST OF WHOM HAVE NOT BEEN
RETURNED.
IT WAS HIDEOUS AND IT WAS
SICKENING.
IN RESPONSE, ISRAEL LAUNCHED
WHAT'S NOW BECOME A MONTHLONG
SIEGE OF GAZA, CUTTING OFF
NEARLY ALL WATER, FOOD,
ELECTRICITY, AND FUEL TO THE
TERRITORY.
IN JUST THE FIRST SIX DAYS OF
THE WAR, IT DROPPED 6,000 BOMBS
ON A STRIP OF LAND JUST 25 MILES
LONG, AND AT MOST 7 MILES WIDE.
THAT'S NEARLY AS MANY AS THE
RECORD NUMBER THAT THE U.S.
DROPPED ON AFGHANISTAN IN A
SINGLE YEAR.
AS OF THIS TAPING, MORE THAN
11,000 PEOPLE HAD BEEN KILLED,
INCLUDING AT LEAST 4,000
CHILDREN.
THERE IS ALMOST NO PIECE OF
FOOTAGE THAT I COULD SHOW YOU
OF GAZA THAT IS NOT HORRIFYING
OR HEARTBREAKING.
BUT WE DID FIND ONE PIECE OF
FOOTAGE WHERE A CHILD VERY APTLY
SUMS UP WHAT THINGS ARE LIKE
THERE.
>> HOW HAVE THE PAST FEW DAYS
BEEN, ABDULAZIZ?
>> LIKE SHIT.
>> IT'S OKAY, WE CAN CUT IT OUT.
TELL ME HOW HAVE THE PAST FEW
DAYS BEEN, ABDULAZIZ?
EXPLAIN TO US.
>> YOU MEAN ABOUT THE WAR?
>> YES.
HOW HAS IT BEEN WITH THE WAR?
>> LIKE SHIT!
>> John: YEAH, OF COURSE IT
FEELS LIKE SHIT!
THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO PUT IT.
AND I'M GLAD HE DIDN'T EVEN TRY.
I ALSO APPRECIATE HIM ASKING FOR
CLARIFICATION WHEN THE REPORTER
STARTED OVER.
"SORRY, JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU'RE
ASKING WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE
THROUGH THIS WAR, RIGHT?
OKAY, GOT IT!
MY ANSWER REMAINS -- LIKE SHIT!
NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE."
AND I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT IS
HARD TO SEE A KID LIKE THAT, AND
THEN HEAR GLIB PRONOUNCEMENTS
LIKE THIS ONE, FROM
REPRESENTATIVE BRIAN MAST OF
FLORIDA.
>> I WOULD ENCOURAGE THE OTHER
SIDE TO NOT SO LIGHTLY THROW
AROUND THE IDEA OF INNOCENT
PALESTINIAN CIVILIANS, AS IS
FREQUENTLY SAID.
I DON'T THINK WE WOULD SO
LIGHTLY THROW AROUND THE TERM
"INNOCENT NAZI CIVILIANS" DURING
WORLD WAR II.
THERE'S NOT THIS FAR STRETCH TO
SAY THERE ARE VERY FEW INNOCENT
PALESTINIAN CIVILIANS.
>> John: OKAY, THAT'S NOT ONLY
DISGUSTING, IT IS ALSO,
EVIDENTLY THE SORT OF THING
YOU'RE ALLOWED TO GET AWAY WITH
SAYING ON THE HOUSE FLOOR WITH
ZERO REPERCUSSIONS, BECAUSE
THAT'S APPARENTLY WHERE THE
CONVERSATION IS RIGHT NOW.
BUT JUST SO WE'RE VERY CLEAR,
THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY INNOCENT
PALESTINIAN CIVILIANS, IN THE
SAME WAY THERE ARE FLORIDIANS
WHO AREN'T BRAINDEAD BIGOTS WITH
A PENIS FOR A HEAD.
A REGION'S WORST DOES NOT
REPRESENT THEM ALL.
AND LOOK, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO
TALK ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE
MIDDLE EAST TONIGHT.
AND I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING: BUT
JOHN ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
AREN'T YOU SCHOOL?"
WELL, FUN FACT, I'M NOT!
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THAT, I'M
ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY A COMEDY
SHOW, I JUST HIDE IT BETTER THAN
MOST.
SO I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE
THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF
GENERATIONAL TRAUMAS INFORMING
THE RESPONSE TO THIS, INCLUDING
THE HOLOCAUST, AND THE NAKBA, OR
MASS VIOLENT DISPLACEMENT OF
PALESTINIANS, BEFORE AND AFTER
ISRAEL'S FOUNDING.
I'M ALSO NOT GOING TO DO A
HISTORICAL BLOW-BY-BLOW OF HOW
PALESTINIANS CAME TO LIVE IN
GAZA AND THE WEST BANK RIGHT
NOW.
YOU CAN GOOGLE THAT FOR
YOURSELVES -- OR EVEN BING IT!
THAT'S COMPLETELY FINE, TOO!
THOUGH I WILL SAY -- I WOULDN'T
ASK JEEVES ABOUT THIS.
HE HAS SOME UNEXPECTEDLY PRETTY
NASTY VIEWS ON THIS.
INSTEAD, I'D LIKE TO ZERO IN ON
ONE OF THE BIGGEST
MISCONCEPTIONS YOU MAY'VE BEEN
HEARING OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS.
SPECIFICALLY, THE TENDENCY TO
COLLAPSE LEADERS AND CITIZENS
WHEN DISCUSSING THIS.
TO ASSUME THAT NETANYAHU SPEAKS
FOR ALL ISRAELIS, OR THAT HAMAS
SPEAKS FOR ALL PALESTINIANS.
BECAUSE THAT IS EMPHATICALLY NOT
THE CASE.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S LOOK AT HAMAS
AND NETANYAHU -- HOW THEY CAME
TO BE IN POWER, WHOSE INTERESTS
THEY DO AND DON'T REPRESENT, AND
WHAT ROLE THEY'VE PLAYED IN
BRINGING US TO THIS CURRENT
CONFLICT.
AND LET'S START WITH HAMAS.
IT'S BEEN AROUND SINCE 1987, AND
HAS GOVERNED GAZA FOR THE LAST
17 YEARS.
IT WAS FOUNDED, IN PART, IN
OPPOSITION TO THE CORRUPTION OF
WHERE PALESTINIAN POLITICS WERE
HEADING AT THE TIME EMBRACING A
PEACE PROCESS WITH ISRAEL, A
PROCESS BY THE WAY THE
PALESTINIANS HAD HIGH HOPES FOR
WHEN IT STARTED.
BUT HAMAS BRANDED ITSELF THE
PARTY OF WRIST SINCE RESISTANCE.
AND UNDERMINED THE PEACE PROCESS
WITH A LONG SERIES OF ATTACKS
AND SUICIDE BOMBINGS.
HAMAS SEEMS TO BE VINDICATED IN
ITS MESSAGING AND YOU CAN SEE
THE PHILOSOPHY CONTINUING
THROUGH TODAY.
IT THEN UNDERMINED THAT PROCESS
WITH A LONG SERIES OF ATTACKS
AND SUICIDE BOMBINGS.
THIS SENIOR HAMAS OFFICIAL,
GHAZI HAMAD, RECENTLY DOUBLED
DOWN ON THE MASSACRE OF OCTOBER
7, BY SAYING "WE MUST TEACH
ISRAEL A LESSON, AND WE WILL DO
IT TWICE, AND THREE TIMES."
AND FOR MANY COMMENTATORS, ALL
THE CITIZENS OF GAZA ARE
IMPLICATED IN THAT SORT OF
RHETORIC, THANKS TO ONE KEY FACT
YOU HEAR ALL THE TIME.
>> THE PEOPLE OF GAZA, THE
PALESTINIANS ELECTED HAMAS
PEOPLE, HAMAS FIGHTERS, HAMAS
TERRORISTS TO THEIR BOARD OF
GOVERNORS.
>> THE PEOPLE IN GAZA ELECTED
HAMAS.
IT'S A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION,
THAT IS THEIR GOVERNMENT.
>> HOW DO YOU SAY HAMAS DOESN'T
REPRESENT THE PALESTINIAN PEOPLE
WHEN THEY VOTED HAMAS IN TO
REPRESENT THEM?
>> John: OKAY, SO VERY QUICKLY,
THAT'S TUCKER CARLSON'S
REPLACEMENT AT FOX,
JESSE WATTERS.
HE'S A LOT LIKE TUCKER, EXCEPT
LESS CHARISMATIC, WAY DUMBER,
AND WITH SOMEHOW EVEN MORE OF AN
"I'VE KILLED SOMEONE DURING A
FRATERNITY HAZING ACCIDENT"
VIBE.
WHICH IS REALLY SAYING
SOMETHING.
BECAUSE LOOK, IT'S TRUE THAT
GAZANS DID, AT ONE POINT, ELECT
HAMAS.
BUT, IF YOU THINK THAT MAKES
THEM ALL COMPLICIT IN WAR CRIMES
THEIR GOVERNMENT COMMITS, THEN
BOY DO I HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU
ABOUT WHAT THE U.S. FOREIGN
POLICY.
AND ALSO, THERE ARE SOME HUGE
ASTERISKS ON "GAZANS ELECTING
HAMAS."
FIRST, THAT ELECTION HAPPENED IN
2006, AND THERE HASN'T BEEN ONE
SINCE.
AND GIVEN THAT CHILDREN MAKE UP
ROUGHLY HALF OF GAZA'S
POPULATION, THAT MEANS MOST
GAZANS WEREN'T EVEN BORN WHEN
THE LAST ELECTION TOOK PLACE.
WHAT'S MORE, HAMAS DIDN'T WIN A
MAJORITY.
IT ONLY WON WITH A BARE
PLURALITY OF THE VOTES.
AND IT DID SO BY RUNNING AGAINST
FATAH, WHICH WAS WIDELY REVILED
FOR INCOMPETENCE AND CORRUPTION
AT THE TIME.
THOSE WERE THE KEY ISSUES IN
THAT ELECTION.
ALSO, HAMAS WENT OUT OF ITS WAY
TO PRESENT ITSELF AS MORE
MODERATE BACK THEN.
IN FACT, HERE'S THE SAME HAMAS
OFFICIAL WHO RECENTLY JUSTIFIED
THE OCTOBER 7 ATTACKS -- SHORTLY
BEFORE THAT 2006 ELECTION.
>> WE ARE A MODERATE
ORGANIZATION, REALLY.
WE ARE NOT RADICAL ORGANIZATION,
AND WE ARE NOT EXTREMIST OR
FUNDAMENTALIST.
NO, WE ARE AN OPEN-MINDED
ORGANIZATION.
WE BELIEVE IN DEMOCRACY AND
FREEDOM AND POLITICAL
PLURALIZATION.
>> John: YEAH, HAMAS REALLY
TRIED TO REBRAND ITSELF.
KIND OF LIKE DOMINO'S DID WHEN
THEY RAN ADS ADMITTING THAT "THE
SAUCE TASTES LIKE KETCHUP," "THE
CRUST TASTES LIKE CARDBOARD,"
AND THEY PROMISED TO "WORK DAYS,
NIGHTS, AND WEEKENDS" TO GET
BETTER.
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, LIKE
DOMINO'S, HAMAS IS A TERRIBLE
ORGANIZATION THAT IN NO WAY KEPT
ITS PROMISES.
BECAUSE IN THE YEARS FOLLOWING,
THAT TONE OF OPEN-MINDED FREEDOM
CLEARLY FELL AWAY.
NOT ONLY HAS THERE NOT BEEN
ANOTHER ELECTION, MOST PEOPLE IN
GAZA DON'T BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE
FREEDOM TO SPEAK OPENLY.
ONE POLL FOUND THAT, UNDER HAMAS
RULE, 68% BELIEVED THAT THE
RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN A
PEACEFUL PROTEST WAS NOT
PROTECTED, OR WAS PROTECTED ONLY
TO A LIMITED EXTENT.
AND HUMAN RIGHTS GROUPS HAVE
SAID THAT HAMAS FORCES HAVE
CARRIED OUT A BRUTAL CAMPAIGN OF
ABDUCTIONS, TORTURE, AND
UNLAWFUL KILLINGS AGAINST
PALESTINIANS ACCUSED OF
COLLABORATING WITH ISRAEL, AND
HAVE ATTACKED MEMBERS AND
SUPPORTERS OF FATAH, THEIR MAIN
POLITICAL RIVAL.
AND THE TRUTH IS, MANY GAZANS
WILL SAY THEY DON'T WANT HAMAS
IN CHARGE.
POLLS SHOW IF TRUE PEACE WERE
ACHIEVABLE, MANY PALESTINIANS
WOULD EMBRACE IT.
IN FACT, ONE CONDUCTED RIGHT
BEFORE OCTOBER 7 FOUND 73%
FAVORING A PEACEFUL SETTLEMENT
TO THE ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN
CONFLICT.
AND IT'S NOTABLE THAT IN JULY,
DESPITE ALL THE RESTRICTIONS ON
DISSENT IN GAZA, THERE WERE
ACTUALLY PEOPLE ON THE STREETS
CHANTING SLOGANS INCLUDING,
"FUCK OFF, HAMAS" AND "WE WANT
TO LIVE."
AND LOOK, EVEN IF ALL
PALESTINIANS IN GAZA DID SUPPORT
HAMAS -- WHICH THEY DON'T -- THE
RELENTLESS BOMBINGS OF CIVILIANS
WOULD STILL BE ABHORRENT.
COLLECTIVE PUNISHMENT IS A WAR
CRIME.
BUT THE FACT IS, THERE IS MUCH
MORE CRITICISM OF HAMAS IN GAZA
THAN AMERICANS IN GENERAL, AND
THESE DIPSHITS IN PARTICULAR,
ARE WILLING TO ADMIT.
PALESTINIANS IN GAZA ARE NOT A
MONOLITH.
AND NOR, IMPORTANTLY, ARE
ISRAELIS.
BECAUSE NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT
BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, A MAN WHO
HAS BEEN PRIME MINISTER OF
ISRAEL FOR A COMBINED 16 YEARS,
HERE IN THE U.S., DISCUSSION OF
THE CURRENT CONFLICT SOMETIMES
CONFLATES THE CURRENT ISRAELI
GOVERNMENT WITH ISRAEL AS A
WHOLE, AS IF THE TWO ARE
ENTIRELY REPRESENTATIVE OF EACH
OTHER.
YOU'LL HEAR, "WE NEED TO SUPPORT
BIBI AND ISRAEL" OR "THIS IS NOT
A TIME TO CRITICIZE NETANYAHU."
BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE WITHIN
ISRAEL.
CRITICISM OF NETANYAHU THERE IS
FIERCE.
ONE POLL SHOW THAT 76% OF
ISRAELIS WANT HIM GONE, AND MANY
BLAME HIM FOR THE SECURITY
LAPSES THAT LED TO THE
OCTOBER 7TH ATTACK.
AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT
ATTACK, VIDEOS WENT VIRAL OF
NETANYAHU MINISTERS VISITING
HOSPITALS WHERE SOME OF THE
VICTIMS WERE RECUPERATING, AND
BEING YELLED AT.
JUST WATCH THIS ONE MINISTER
ESSENTIALLY GET CHASED OUT OF
THE HOSPITAL, FIRST BY A FAMILY
MEMBER, AND THEN BY SOMEBODY WHO
WORKED THERE.
>> [SPEAKING NON-ENGLISH
LANGUAGE]
>> John: THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT
MEDICINE, BUT AFTER SEEING THAT,
I'M GOING TO ASSUME THE
HIPPOCRATIC OATH ACTUALLY GOES,
"FIRST DO NO HARM," AND SECOND
"IF UNWELCOME GOVERNMENT
OFFICIALS ARE UPSETTING PEOPLE
IN YOUR HOSPITAL, KICK THEM THE
FUCK OUT."
BECAUSE HE'S CLAPPING AT HER
THERE LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE
TRYING TO GET A BIRD OUT OF YOUR
HOUSE.
AND WHILE THAT ANGER AT
NETANYAHU HAS CERTAINLY
INTENSIFIED SINCE OCTOBER 7,
IT'S ALSO BEEN THERE FOR A LONG
TIME.
BEFORE THE ATTACK, ISRAEL SAW
NEARLY 40 WEEKS OF PROTESTS,
INCLUDING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS
OF ISRAELIS MARCHING IN THE
STREETS, IN OPPOSITION TO HIS
PLAN THAT WOULD EFFECTIVELY END
THE INDEPENDENCE OF THE
JUDICIARY AND ENDANGER CIVIL
RIGHTS.
AND LOOK, NETANYAHU HAS ALWAYS
BEEN A HARD-LINER.
HE'S FORGED HIS ENTIRE POLITICAL
PERSONA AROUND AN EXTREME
VERSION OF "SAFETY THROUGH
STRENGTH."
WHICH HAS INCLUDED OPPOSITION TO
THE PEACE PROCESS AT CRUCIAL
POINTS.
WHEN FORMER ISRAELI PRIME
MINISTER YITZAK RABIN AGREED TO
THE OSLO PEACE ACCORDS, WHICH
ATTEMPTED TO SET A FRAMEWORK FOR
AN EVENTUAL RESOLUTION OF THE
ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN CONFLICT,
NETANYAHU WAS FIERCELY AGAINST
IT.
INFAMOUSLY SPEAKING AT A RALLY
WHERE PROTESTORS CHANTED "IN
BLOOD AND FIRE, WE WILL EXPEL
RABIN," AND HELD ALOFT
DEPICTIONS OF HIM IN A NAZI
UNIFORM.
SOON AFTER THAT, RABIN WAS
KILLED BY A FAR-RIGHT ISRAELI
EXTREMIST, AND RABIN'S WIDOW
BLAMED NETANYAHU FOR STOKING THE
FLAMES THAT LED TO THAT.
AND IN THE WAKE OF THAT
ASSASSINATION, NETANYAHU'S
POLITICAL CAREER SEEMED DEAD.
AND IT WASN'T UNTIL A SERIES OF
BUS BOMBINGS BY HAMAS IN ISRAEL
-- AS PART OF THEIR OWN EFFORTS
TO DERAIL THE PEACE ACCORDS --
THAT NETANYAHU WAS FIRST ELECTED
PRIME MINISTER.
AND HIS MESSAGE, "I'M THE ONLY
ONE WHO CAN KEEP YOU SAFE" HAS
BEEN CONSISTENT EVER SINCE.
HERE HE IS IN THE RUN-UP TO
ISRAEL'S 2014 ELECTION, MAKING
THAT POINT AGAIN.
>> I FEEL THE JEWISH NATION IS
UNDER THREAT, AND I'M PREPARED
TO MITIGATE THAT DANGER.
IT'S WHAT THE STATE OF ISRAEL
EXPECTS FROM ME, AND IT'S WHAT
I'LL DO.
>> John: THAT'S A BIG CLAIM THAT
HASN'T JUST DATED VERY WELL.
HONESTLY, I HAVEN'T SEEN A
POLITICIAN'S WORDS AGE SO POORLY
SINCE HILLARY CLINTON TWEETED
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS FUTURE
PRESIDENT."
SO HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN
HARD-RIGHT.
BUT IT'S WORTH TAKING A MINUTE
TO UNDERSCORE JUST HOW EXTREME
HIS CURRENT GOVERNMENT IS.
BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, NETANYAHU
HAS BEEN STRUGGLING TO HOLD
OFFICE THERE.
AND ISRAEL HAD TO ENDURE TK
ELECTIONS, BECAUSE NO ONE WAS
ABLE TO FORM A MAJORITY.
HE ONLY MADE IT BACK INTO POWER
LAST YEAR, BY FORMING A
COALITION WITH THOSE ON THE
FURTHEST RIGHT WING OF ISRAELI
POLITICS -- LEADING TO THE MOST
RIGHT-WING GOVERNMENT IN THE
COUNTRY'S HISTORY.
HIS CABINET IS STOCKED WITH
EXTREMISTS.
TAKE ITAMAR BEN-GVIR.
HE'S BEEN CONVICTED ON AT LEAST
EIGHT CHARGES, INCLUDING
SUPPORTING A TERRORIST
ORGANIZATION AND INCITEMENT TO
RACISM.
HE WAS ONCE CONSIDERED SO
FRINGE, THIS ISRAELI ARMY
REJECTED HIM FROM MANDATORY
SERVICE.
BUT HE'S NOW NETANYAHU'S
MINISTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY.
MEANWHILE, HIS CURRENT FINANCE
MINISTER, BEZALEL SMOTRICH, HAS
SAID, "IS THERE A PALESTINIAN
HISTORY OR CULTURE?
THERE IS NONE.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A
PALESTINIAN PEOPLE."
HE'S ALSO ADVOCATED FOR "VICTORY
THROUGH SETTLEMENT," BASICALLY
SEIZING LAND IN THE WEST BANK,
AND DRIVING PALESTINIANS FROM
THEIR HOMES TO THE POINT WHERE,
QUOTE, "I ABORT THEIR HOPES OF
ESTABLISHING A STATE."
SETTLEMENTS ARE WIDELY
UNDERSTOOD TO BE AGAINST
INTERNATIONAL LAW, YET SMOTRICH
WANTS A MASSIVE EXPANSION OF
THEM, AND NETANYHAU GAVE HIM A
SPECIAL ROLE IN CHARGE OF
SETTLEMENT AFFAIRS.
BUT PERHAPS THE MOST SURPRISING
WAY NETANYAHU HAS JEOPARDIZED
ISRAEL'S SAFETY IS THAT, FOR
YEARS, HE DELIBERATELY USED
HAMAS AS A WAY TO UNDERMINE THE
PALESTINIAN AUTHORITY, A RIVAL
TO HAMAS, WHICH ADMINISTERS
PARTS OF THE WEST BANK AND HAS
MUCH MORE LEGITIMACY ON THE
WORLD STAGE.
EXPERTS SAY THE IDEA WAS
BASICALLY DIVIDE AND CONQUER --
IF PALESTINIAN LEADERSHIP
REMAINS SPLIT, AND ONE OF THE
MAIN PARTIES AT THE TABLE HAS A
TERRORISM LABEL ON IT, IT'S
GOING TO BE MUCH EASIER FOR
NETANYAHU TO REFUSE TO ENGAGE
WITH THEM, AND SAY HE HAS "NO
PARTNER FOR PEACE."
HERE'S SMOTRICH EXPLAINING THAT
STRATEGY OUT LOUD IN 2015.
>> THE PALESTINIAN AUTHORITY IS
A BURDEN AND HAMAS IS A
TERRORIST ORGANIZATION THAT NO
ONE WILL RECOGNIZE, AND NO ONE
WILL GIVE IT STATUS IN THE ICC.
NO ONE WILL LET THEM LEAD A
DECISION IN THE SECURITY
COUNCIL.
THE MAIN PITCH WE ARE PLAYING
NOW IS INTERNATIONAL
DELEGITIMIZATION.
HAMAS AT THIS POINT, IN MY
OPINION, WILL BE AN ASSET.
>> John: "HAMAS IS AN ASSET."
IF YOU'RE CALLING THE GROUP THAT
HAS REPEATEDLY KILLED YOUR
PEOPLE AN ASSET, IT SHOWS PRETTY
CLEARLY THAT WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT
ISN'T SAFETY, BUT TOTAL CONTROL.
AND FOR YEARS, NETANYAHU'S
GOVERNMENT WAS ACTUALLY ALLOWING
SUITCASES OF CASH TO BE
DELIVERED TO HAMAS, SOMETHING BY
THE WAY THAT EARNED SUITCASES OF
CASH THE TITLE "MOST MORALLY
DISREPUTABLE WAY TO TRANSFER
MONEY" FOR THE NINE HUNDREDTH
YEAR IN A ROW.
WHEN THE SCANDAL BROKE,
NETANYAHU INSISTED THAT THAT
MONEY WAS FOR HUMANITARIAN AID.
WHICH STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY
IT HAD TO BE DELIVERED IN
LUGGAGE IN THE BACK OF A FUCKING
CAR.
THE POINT IS, NETANYAHU TOOK THE
RISK OF BETTING THAT HE COULD
CONTROL HAMAS, AND USE THEM TO
HIS OWN ENDS.
AND HE WAS HORRIBLY WRONG ABOUT
THAT, TO THE POINT THAT HIS
MINISTERS ARE NOW GETTING
SCREAMED OUT OF HOSPITALS.
SO, TO RECAP SO FAR:
PALESTINIANS AND ISRAELIS HAVE
BOTH BEEN RELENTLESSLY LET DOWN
BY THEIR LEADERS', AND THE
RESULT HAS BEEN A DECADES-LONG
CYCLE OF EXTREMISM, VIOLENCE,
RETALIATION, AND MORE EXTREMISM.
AND PALESTINIANS HAVE BEEN ON
THE RECEIVING END OF THAT
EXTREMISM TWICE OVER -- SUBJECT
TO THE INADEQUACIES AND
CRUELTIES OF A HAMAS GOVERNMENT
AND THE PUNISHING ISOLATION AND
DAILY MISERY OF AN ISRAELI ONE.
BECAUSE ISRAEL'S APPROACH TO
GAZA HAS BEEN PUNISHING --
FENCING PEOPLE IN, LIMITING
EXITS, AND TRAPPING THEM INSIDE
OF WHAT HAS BEEN CALLED AN
OPEN-AIR PRISON BY MANY HUMAN
RIGHTS ORGANIZATIONS.
LIFE UNDER A BLOCKADE THERE HAS
BEEN HARD FOR A LONG TIME, EVEN
WHEN THERE AREN'T BOMBS FLYING.
>> THE UNITED NATIONS SAYS JUST
10% OF GAZA'S TWO MILLION PEOPLE
HAVE ACCESS TO SAFE DRINKING
WATER.
>> MY CHILDREN GET SICK BECAUSE
OF THE WATER.
THEY SUFFER FROM VOMITING,
DIARRHEA.
>> ALL THE STREETS ARE FULL OF
TRASHES, ALL OF GARBAGE.
ALL THE PEOPLE, THEY HAVE NO
WORK.
THEY HAVE NO EMPLOYMENT.
>> WHEN PEOPLE HERE RUN OUT OF
ELECTRICITY HERE, THEY ONLY GET
THREE HOURS A DAY.
THEY CAN EITHER BUY A SMALL
BATTERY TO TRY TO OPERATE
LIGHTS, OR THEY JUST GO OUTSIDE
AND LIGHT FIRES.
>> THIS LIFE HAS GIVEN IMAD,
LIKE MANY GAZANS, A SENSE OF
HAVING LITTLE TO LOSE.
>> John: YEAH, YOU REALLY CAN'T
BLAME THEM FOR FEELING THAT WAY.
ONCE YOU'VE LOST CLEAN WATER,
SANITARY SPACE, JOB PROSPECTS,
AND MOST ELECTRICITY, THERE'S
NOT REALLY MUCH LEFT TO LOSE BUT
HOPE.
AND IT IS WORTH NOTING THAT
THERE IS ONE MORE MAJOR PLAYER
IN ALL THIS THAT I HAVEN'T
MENTIONED, AND IT'S US.
AND I DON'T JUST MEAN THE
BRITISH, WHO ARE ABSOLUTELY
RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME OF THIS.
I'M TALKING ABOUT AMERICA.
BECAUSE THIS COUNTRY HAS
EMPHATICALLY PICKED A SIDE.
IN RECENT YEARS, WE'VE GIVEN
ISRAEL $3.8 BILLION A YEAR IN
MILITARY AID.
AND YOU CAN MAKE GEOPOLITICAL
ARGUMENTS FOR WHY THAT IS OR
ISN'T A VALID THING TO DO.
BUT IT MEANS WE ARE HEAVILY
IMPLICATED IN EVERYTHING YOU'VE
JUST SEEN.
JUST LISTEN TO BASSAM ARAMIN, A
PALESTINIAN WHOSE TEN-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER WAS KILLED BY AN
ISRAELI BORDER GUARD IN 2007.
>> MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN KILLED
WITH AN AMERICAN RUBBER BULLET,
UNFORTUNATELY, FROM AN AMERICAN
M16, UNFORTUNATELY, FROM AN
AMERICAN JEEP, AN AMERICAN
UNIFORM, AND THE SOLDIER HAD
TRAINED IN AMERICA.
SO EVERYTHING IS AMERICAN.
>> John: RIGHT.
"EVERYTHING IS AMERICAN."
AND I KNOW THAT'S HARD TO HEAR.
BUT THE FACT IS, "MADE IN
AMERICA" IS SOMETHING THAT WE
UNDERSTANDABLY LOVE TO BRAG
ABOUT WHEN IT'S THINGS WE'RE
PROUD OF, BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT'S
NOT JUST TRACTORS, TRUCK NUTS
AND TOBY KEITH SONGS.
SOMETIMES IT'S STUFF THAT'S
KILLING PEOPLE.
AND SO, HAVING EXPLAINED AT
LEAST SOME OF HOW WE GOT HERE,
NOW MIGHT BE THE TIME TO TALK
ABOUT WHERE WE ARE.
AS OF RIGHT NOW, HAMAS IS STILL
REFUSING TO RELEASE THE HOSTAGES
AND ISRAEL, IS BOMBING
RELENTLESSLY, AND AGAIN,
THOUSANDS HAVE BEEN KILLED SO
FAR.
ALTHOUGH THERE HAVE BEEN SOME
MADDENING EFFORTS TO DOWNPLAY
THE SUFFERING IN GAZA -- LIKE
WHEN ISRAEL'S AMBASSADOR TO THE
U.N. SAID THIS, LAST WEEKEND.
>> THERE IS NO HUMANITARIAN
CRISIS IN GAZA.
IN COORDINATION WITH THE U.S.
AND THE U.N., WE ALLOWED THE
NUMBER OF TRUCKS ENTERING GAZA
NOW WITH FOOD AND MEDICINES TO
REACH ALMOST 100 TRUCKS EVERY
DAY.
>> YOU'VE SAID THIS BEFORE, THAT
THERE IS NO HUMANITARIAN CRISIS
IN GAZA.
THAT'S KIND OF AN AMAZING
STATEMENT, BECAUSE THERE WERE
HUMANITARIAN PROBLEMS THERE
BEFORE THE WAR.
AND NOW, OBVIOUSLY, IT HAS
GOTTEN BAD.
>> BUT, DANA -- OKAY, SO...
>> TAKE THEIR NUMBERS ASIDE.
IT HAS GOTTEN TO THE CRISIS
POINT.
>> YES, BUT I'M NOT -- NO, I'M
NOT SAYING THAT THE LIFE IN GAZA
IS GREAT.
>> John: OH, OKAY.
"I'M NOT SAYING IT'S GREAT" IS A
SEVERE UNDERSTATEMENT THERE.
THAT'S SOMETHING YOU SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DESCRIBING THE BAND AT A
WEDDING, OR A SANDWICH FROM
PANERA BREAD.
BUT IT'S NOT HOW YOU DESCRIBE
LIFE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING
WAR ZONE.
BECAUSE THOSE ON THE GROUND IN
GAZA WILL TELL YOU IT'S
ABSOLUTELY A HUMANITARIAN
CRISIS.
JUST THIS WOMAN WHO WORKS WITH
DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS.
>> IT IS THE WORST HUMANITARIAN
CATASTROPHE I HAVE EXPERIENCED
IN MY LIFETIME.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN ACRONYM IN
THE GAZA STRIP RIGHT NOW.
YOU KNOW, I'M A PEDIATRIC
INTENSIVE CARE DOCTOR, I SEE A
LOT OF SUFFERING IN MY CAREER.
THERE IS AN ACRONYM IN THE GAZA
STRIP, WCNSF.
WOUNDED CHILD, NO SURVIVING
FAMILY.
CHILDREN -- AND IT IS USED NOT
INFREQUENTLY IN THE LAST THREE
WEEKS.
WOUNDED CHILD, NO SURVIVING
FAMILY SHOULD NOT EXIST AS AN
ACRONYM.
>> John: SHE'S RIGHT.
AND, PERSONALLY, I'M GOING TO
TAKE MY CUES ABOUT WHAT
CONSTITUTES A HUMANITARIAN
CRISIS FROM THE HUMANITARIANS.
AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE IT IN ME
TO SHOW YOU FOOTAGE OF PEOPLE IN
AGONY TONIGHT.
BUT I DO WANT YOU TO SEE SOME
KIDS IN GAZA WHO'VE BEEN
DISPLACED, SPEAK ABOUT WHAT
THEY'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH.
[SPEAKING NON-ENGLISH LANGUAGE]
>> John: YEAH, I'D REALLY LIKE
THEM TO BE ABLE TO CHILL THE
FUCK OUT, TOO.
BECAUSE KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE
LOSING SLEEP DUE TO FEAR OF WAR,
THEY SHOULD ONLY BE LOSING SLEEP
FOR COMPLETELY NORMAL KID
REASONS, LIKE TUMMY ACHES FROM
EATING TOO MUCH CANDY OR --
APPARENTLY, FOR AUSTRALIAN KIDS
-- STAYING UP EXCITED ALL NIGHT
BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND
YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IF SANTA
BROUGHT YOU A BRAND NEW BAG FOR
ALL OF YOUR HOLIDAY HAM FOR SOME
DEEPLY WEIRD REASON.
IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO WATCH
THOSE KIDS AND NOT FEEL
SHATTERED.
THERE IS A NATURAL HUMAN IMPULSE
TO PROTECT CHILDREN.
TO GRAB A TODDLER YOU DON'T KNOW
IF YOU SEE THEM RUNNING INTO
TRAFFIC.
AND IF THAT IMPULSE IS BROKEN OR
DISINCENTIVIZED BY A GOVERNMENT,
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY A
HUMANITARIAN CRISIS.
NO MATTER WHAT ANY ASSHOLE HAS
TO SAY ABOUT IT.
AND LOOK, I DON'T HAVE A
SOLUTION FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE
EAST.
AND EVEN IF I DID -- WHICH
AGAIN, I DON'T -- THIS WOULD BE
THE WORST VOICE IN WHICH TO
RELAY THAT MESSAGE.
BUT IT DOES SEEM TO ME,
PERSONALLY, THAT A CEASEFIRE HAS
TO BE THE FIRST STEP.
THAT'S SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN CALLING FOR ALL OVER
THE WORLD, BUT IT'S SOMETHING
THAT WORLD LEADERS HAVE BEEN
RELUCTANT TO SAY.
JUST WATCH JUSTIN TRUDEAU ALMOST
SAY IT, AND THEN CORRECT
HIMSELF.
>> WE NEED TO SEE A CEASE -- UH,
WE NEED TO SEE A HUMANITARIAN
PAUSE SO WE CAN FLOW -- WE NEED
TO SEE A CEASING OF THE LEVELS
OF VIOLENCE THAT WE'RE SEEING.
>> John: WOW.
HE STOPPED HIMSELF MID-WORD.
HE LITERALLY ORDERED A CEASEFIRE
ON THE WORD "CEASEFIRE."
MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT HE DIDN'T
JUST KEEP THAT WORD SALAD, OR
WORD-POUTINE, GOING, "WE NEED A
CEASING OF THE VIOLENCE, A
STOPPING OF THE EXPLOSIONS --
SORT OF A HALTING OF THE BOOMS,
IF YOU WILL?
A HALT-BOOM!
WOULD BE GREAT RIGHT NOW."
AND IT'S NOT JUST TRUDEAU.
JOE BIDEN HAS SAID THERE'S NO
CHANCE OF ONE.
WHICH IS A HELL OF A THING TO
HEAR FROM PERHAPS THE ONLY WORLD
LEADER WHO COULD ACTUALLY EXERT
SOME PRESSURE HERE.
AND LISTEN, THERE ARE THOSE,
LIKE NOTED MID-EAST PEACE EXPERT
HARVEY LEVIN, WHO WILL SAY, NOT
WRONGLY, THAT THERE ARE REAL
DANGERS TO A CEASEFIRE -- THAT
HAMAS MIGHT REGROUP ONCE THE
BOMBING STOPS.
ALTHOUGH, THAT'S ARGUABLY GOING
TO BE A DANGER WHENEVER IT
STOPS.
SO WHY NOT STOP RIGHT NOW?
CONTINUING DOWN THIS PATH ONLY
CREATES MORE EXTREMISTS, WHICH
IS THE LAST THING THAT ANYONE
NEEDS.
AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING
THAT DENIES THE PAIN OF THOSE IN
ISRAEL, WHO'VE LOST LOVED ONES
TO A TRULY BARBAROUS ACT, OR WHO
ARE WAITING ANXIOUSLY FOR THE
RETURN OF HOSTAGES.
ALTHOUGH, YOU SHOULD KNOW, SOME
HOSTAGES' FAMILIES ARE ALSO
UTTERLY FURIOUS AT THE MILITARY
TACTICS NETANYAHU'S EMPLOYING
RIGHT NOW.
>> WE HAVE TO ENGAGE IN
NEGOTIATIONS.
WE HAVE TO DO IT NOW.
THEY SAY THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO
DESTROY -- TO FLATTEN GAZA.
THEY NEVER MENTIONS THE
HOSTAGES, NEVER.
>> John: RIGHT.
AND YOU CAN SEE HOW INFURIATING
THAT WOULD BE.
AND I KNOW THAT FOR MANY
ISRAELIS, THERE IS AN
UNDERSTANDABLE SENSE OF FEAR AND
PRECARITY RIGHT NOW, AMID THE
SPECTER OF HAMAS ATTACKS AND
ROCKETS OVERHEAD.
BUT IT'S WORTH ALSO
ACKNOWLEDGING THE OVERWHELMING
SENSE OF PRECARITY AMONG
PALESTINIANS, LIVING UNDER A
BLOCKADE, AND A BARRAGE OF
ISRAELI ROCKETS.
AND IT HAS TO BE POSSIBLE TO
FEEL THE PAIN IN ONE COMMUNITY
WITHOUT DENYING IT IN ANOTHER.
IT HAS TO BE.
THAT IS, PERHAPS, THE MOST
NECESSARY PRECONDITION FOR
PEACE.
BECAUSE REAL PEACE HERE WILL
CLEARLY BE DIFFICULT.
IT'S GOING TO BE STRUGGLED
TOWARD, AS PART OF A LARGER
PURSUIT OF JUSTICE, WHICH WILL
IN TURN REQUIRE AN HONEST AND
UNCOMFORTABLE RECKONING WITH ALL
THE DECISIONS THAT BROUGHT US TO
THIS POINT.
AND I KNOW HOPE IS SCARCE RIGHT
NOW, BUT I DID SEE SOMETHING
THIS WEEK WHICH GAVE ME A SEED
OF HOPE.
IT INVOLVED THIS ISRAELI MAN,
RAMI ELHANAN, WHO LOST HIS
14-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER TO A HAMAS
SUICIDE BOMBING 26 YEARS AGO.
HE ACTUALLY CO-DIRECTS A GROUP
CALLED "THE PARENTS CIRCLE,"
WITH THAT PALESTINIAN MAN.
ELHANAN WAS ASKED IF RECENT
EVENTS HAD CHANGED HIS WORLDVIEW
AT ALL, AND HIS RESPONSE IS
WORTH LISTENING TO.
>> YOU KNOW, WE ARE IN A CIRCLE
OF BLOOD FOR-FOR THE LAST 75
YEARS.
AND THIS IS JUST ANOTHER ROUND.
NOBODY EXPECTED THE VICIOUSNESS
AND THE CRUELTY OF THIS ROUND,
BUT IT WAS EXPECTED.
YOU CANNOT PUT TWO MILLION
PEOPLE IN A BOX, CLOSE THE COVER
AND, EXPECT NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.
IT WILL NOT STOP UNLESS WE TALK.
YOU CANNOT ANNIHILATE HAMAS.
YOU CANNOT IGNORE SIX MILLION
PEOPLE, PALESTINIANS, LIVING
HERE IN THE HOLY LAND.
AND YOU CANNOT EXPECT THEM TO GO
AWAY.
THEY WILL NOT GO AWAY.
WE WILL NOT GO AWAY.
WE ARE DOOMED TO LIVE HERE
TOGETHER, AND WE HAVE TO CHOOSE
WHETHER TO SHARE THIS LAND OR TO
SHARE THE GRAVEYARD UNDER IT.
>> John: EXACTLY.
AND IT IS INSPIRING THAT --
DESPITE WHAT THAT MAN WENT
THROUGH -- HE'S STILL COMMITTED
TO ACHIEVING PEACE THROUGH
TALKING.
AND IT SHOWS THAT ANY
CONVERSATION AROUND THIS HAS TO
BEGIN WITH EMPATHY OR WE'RE JUST
FUCKED.
AND OBVIOUSLY, WE DON'T KNOW HOW
ALL THIS ENDS.
BUT THERE ARE A FEW THINGS WE DO
KNOW.
WE KNOW THAT DEHUMANIZING PEOPLE
LEADS TO VIOLENCE.
WE KNOW THAT VIOLENCE LEADS TO
EVEN MORE BRUTALITY AND
DESTRUCTION.
AND WE KNOW THAT, CRUCIALLY,
BREAKING THAT CYCLE IS
UNFORTUNATELY GOING TO REQUIRE
LEADERSHIP SIGNIFICANTLY
DIFFERENT THAN THE ONES
CURRENTLY IN PLACE.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW, RACHEL
CAMPOS DUFFY REALLY, REALLY
NEEDS YOU TO KNOW THAT HER
HUSBAND WAS ONCE IN CONGRESS.
>> I BROUGHT THIS UP TO YOU GUYS
IN CONGRESS.
MY HUSBAND GOT TO DO THAT WHEN
HE WAS IN CONGRESS.
YOU NKOW, MY HUSBAND'S A FORMER
MEMBER OF CONGRESS, AS YOU KNOW.
MY HUSBAND HIRED PEOPLE ALL THE
TIME WHEN HE WAS A MEMBER OF
CONGRESS.
YOUR BROTHER WAS IN CONGRESS.
MY HUSBAND WAS IN CONGRESS.
IT'S SO INTERESTING, BECAUSE YOU
TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE MY HUSBAND,
WHO WAS IN CONGRESS.
WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS IN CONGRESS.
EVERY DAY WHEN MY HUSBAND IN
CONGRESS.
MY HUSBAND WHEN HE WAS IN
CONGRESS.
MY HUSBAND WAS IN CONGRESS.
MY HUSBAND WAS A MEMBER OF
CONGRESS.
MY HUSBAND WAS ELECTED TO
CONGRESS.
LET ME GET TO ANOTHER TOPIC
THAT'S INTERESTING, AS YOU KNOW
MY HUSBAND WAS A MEMBER OF
CONGRESS.
>> John: MOVING ON.
FINALLY TONIGHT, A QUICK UPDATE
ABOUT NEW ZEALAND.
YOU MAY REMEMBER LAST WEEK, WE
WADED INTO THEIR HIGHLY
COMPETITIVE "BIRD OF THE
CENTURY" CONTEST, RUN BY THE
CONSERVATION ORGANIZATION
FOREST & BIRD.
BASICALLY, EVERY YEAR
NEW ZEALANDERS VOTE FOR THEIR
FAVORITE BIRD AND ULTIMATELY
ELECT A NEW BIRD KING.
IT'S JUST EXCELLENT.
AND WE ANNOUNCED OURSELVES AS
THE OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN MANAGERS
OF THIS BIRD, THE PUTEKETEKE.
AND I'LL NEVER TIRE OF SAYING
IT OUT LOUD.
PUTEKETEKE.
IT'S THE BIRD NAME EQUIVALENT OF
RUBBING YOUR GUMS WITH COCAINE,
OR FILLING YOUR MOUTH WITH POP
ROCKS AND CHUGGING A COKE.
AND LOOK AT THE PLUMAGE!
IT HAS THE GRACE OF A SWAN AND
THE HAIR OF AN EMO GUY FIERI.
TO CAMPAIGN FOR IT, WE PUT UP
ADS IN NEW ZEALAND, PARIS,
MUMBAI, TOKYO, AND LONDON.
WE FLEW A BANNER OVER IPANEMA
BEACH IN BRAZIL, AND, NATURALLY,
PUT UP A BILLBOARD IN MANITOWOC,
WISCONSIN.
AND IT SEEMS, OUR PROMOTION
WORKED, BECAUSE THERE WAS SUCH A
HUGE INFLUX OF VOTES THIS WEEK
THAT, ACCORDING TO
FOREST & BIRD, THEIR VOTING
VERIFICATION SYSTEM GOT
OVERLOADED AND TEMPORARILY
CRASHED.
THEY'RE ACTUALLY HAVING TO DELAY
THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WINNER
UNTIL WEDNESDAY.
SO WHILE WE DON'T YET KNOW WHO
WON, I DO WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT
TO ADDRESS THE RESPONSE TO OUR
CAMPAIGN IN NEW ZEALAND.
BECAUSE IT WASN'T ALL POSITIVE.
>> JOHN OLIVER, THE LATE NIGHT
HOST, AND FORMER BIRD HIMSELF --
>> COME ON!
IT'S THE NEWS!
>> HAS MADE HIS PICK FOR
FOREST & BIRD'S BIRD OF THE
CENTURY COMPETITION KNOWN TO THE
WORLD.
ALL OF JOHN OLIVER'S WORK,
INCLUDING THIS LORD OF THE WINGS
POSTER IN WELLINGTON, MAY NOT
CONVINCE KIWIS.
>> YOU WOULDN'T VOTE FOR IT,
STILL?
>> NOT ON THE BASIS OF THAT
PHOTO.
>> AND HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE.
KIWI CAMPAIGNER ERIN RILEY
CALLING IT FOUL PLAY.
>> B-GRADE AMERICAN CELEBRITY
COMING OUT AND ESSENTIALLY
HIJACKING BIRD OF THE CENTURY.
I DON'T EVEN THINK HE LIKES
BIRDS.
>> John: HEY, HEY, HEY!
OKAY, NOW I'M INSULTED.
NOT BECAUSE OF THE B-GRADE
AMERICAN CELEBRITY PART, THAT'S
HONESTLY GENEROUS.
BUT HOW DARE YOU SAY I DON'T
LIKE BIRDS!
I LOVE THEM!
I JUST DON'T LIKE YOUR BIRD.
BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE
DONKEY KONG'S HAIRY TESTICLE.
IT LOOKS LIKE A RAT CARRYING A
TOOTHPICK.
BUT SHE WASN'T THE ONLY
NEW ZEALANDER WHO GOT A LITTLE
TESTY WITH US.
THERE WAS ALSO THIS WOMAN.
>> YOU WANT TO TAKE THE PISS OUT
OF OUR VERY IMPORTANT ELECTION,
THEN I SEND 14 EMAILS TO
EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM TO TRY AND
GET YOU TO COME AND DEFEND
YOURSELF ON ANOTHER BIRD DEBATE
AND YOU SAID "NO."
UM, WOW.
>> THAT'S A STOOL FOR YOU,
JOHN OLIVER, IF YOU WANT TO PUT
YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS
ABOUT YOUR BIRD.
EMPTY CHAIR.
>> DO YOU HAVE A BIRD?
>> YEAH, KERERU.
IT'S THE BEST BIRD.
>> John: OKAY, OKAY, LET ME
ADDRESS THAT.
OF COURSE I SAID "NO" TO THAT
DEBATE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO ARGUE
WITH SOMEONE THAT WRONG.
THIS IS THE BEST BIRD?
PLEASE, IT'S A FUCKING PIGEON IN
A TANK TOP.
DEBATE OVER.
I'M NOT GETTING ON A PLANE TO
DESTROY YOU LIKE THAT.
AND LOOK, SOME BIRD CAMPAIGNERS
DID ACCEPT OUR INTERFERENCE WITH
GRACE, LIKE SUPPORTERS OF THE
TITIPOUNAMU, WHO POSTED THIS
IMAGE SAYING "THAT'S ME IN THE
CORNER, THAT'S ME IN THE
SPOTLIGHT, LOSING A BIRD
COMPETITION."
BUT OTHERS CAME OUT SWINGING.
SUPPORTERS OF THE KAKARIKI
KARAKA DESIGNED THIS RETALIATORY
BILLBOARD, SAYING "DEAR JOHN,
DON'T DISRUPT THE PECKING ORDER"
AND PUT THEM UP ALL OVER THE
PLACE.
AND I REALLY RESPECT THAT KIND
OF AGGRESSION.
BUT THE KAKARIKI KARAKA HAS NO
BUSINESS BEING IN THIS
COMPETITION.
"BIRD OF THE CENTURY" IS A
CONTEST FOR REAL BIRDS, NOT
BRIGHT-GREEN CAT TOYS.
EVEN THIS PROFESSIONAL
BASKETBALL TEAM GOT INVOLVED,
POSTING THIS VIDEO OF A
BILLBOARD THEY PUT UP ALONGSIDE
THEIR MASCOT AND BIRD OF THE
YEAR PICK, THE KEA.
AND IF YOU MISSED IT, THAT
BILLBOARD SAYS, "THE ONLY BIRD
WORSE THAN THE PUTEKETEKE IS
ZAZU."
AND I'LL ADMIT, I'LL ADMIT,
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
BUT HERE'S THE THING, THE JOKES
ON YOU,YOU PHOTOSHOPPED MY FACE
ONTO CARTOON ZAZU.
I'M NOT THAT ONE.
I'M NOT THE FUN ONE.
I'M THE TERRIFYING ONE, THAT
PUTS PRIDE ROCK SMACK DAB IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE UNCANNY VALLEY.
THEN THERE WAS THE CAMPAIGN FOR
THE SOUTHERN DOTTEREL WHICH
POSTED THIS PHOTO OF IT WALKING
IN ON ME IN BED WITH A
PUTEKETEKE.
AGAIN, VERY GOOD.
AND I LOVE ALL THE TINY DETAILS,
FROM THE POST-BIRD-SEX CIGARETTE
THAT I'M HOLDING IN MY HAND.
TO THE CHOICE OF THE DOTTEREL
PHOTO.
BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY THE
EXPRESSION A DOTTEREL WOULD MAKE
IF IT WALKED IN ON ITS SPOUSE
CHEATING ON IT.
BUT AMID ALL THE BLOWBACK, THERE
WAS ONE ACCUSATION I CANNOT LET
PASS.
AND IT COMES FROM THAT
CAMPAIGNER FOR THE KIWI YOU SAW
EARLIER, WHO TOLD A NEWS OUTLET,
HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE
NEW ZEALAND, TO BE HONEST.
ANYTIME WE FEATURE ON HIS SHOW
IT'S SO HE CAN LAUGH AT US.
WE'RE THE BUTT OF HIS JOKES AND
HE'S DOING IT AGAIN.
AND LOOK, I AM DOING IT AGAIN.
YEAH, I AM.
BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE I DON'T
LIKE YOU.
IT'S BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
NEW ZEALAND, YOU ARE SO GOOD AT
NOT JUST TALKING SHIT, BUT
TAKING IT, WITH REMARKABLE GOOD
HUMOR.
I TALK ABOUT YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE MOST FASCINATING
COUNTRY ON EARTH.
YOU HOLD BIRD CONTESTS, YOU
SOMETIMES THROW DILDOS AT YOUR
POLITICIANS, YOU LET YOUR PEOPLE
SUBMIT IMAGES LIKE THIS FOR YOUR
NATIONAL FLAG -- YOU'RE AN
ENDLESS WELL OF JOY.
HONESTLY, I'D TALK ABOUT YOU
EVERY WEEK IF IT WEREN'T FOR ALL
THE OTHER CRAZY SHIT GOING ON IN
THE WORLD.
I WOULD RENAME THIS SHOW
"NEW ZEALAND TONIGHT WITH
JOHN OLIVER" AND IT WOULD BE AN
IMMEDIATE IMPROVEMENT.
AND FOR THE RECORD, ALL OF YOUR
BIRDS ARE GREAT, AND IT WOULD BE
AN HONOR TO LOSE TO ANY OF THEM
WHEN RESULTS ARE ANNOUNCED ON
WEDNESDAY.
AND THE REASON IT'S SO EASY FOR
ME TO SAY THAT IS, WE'RE NOT
GOING TO LOSE, ARE WE?
WE'RE GOING TO WIN.
AND WE'RE GOING TO WIN BY A LOT.
AND WHEN WE DO THAT, THE
PUTEKETEKE WILL BE YOUR BIRD OF
THE CENTURY, AND THERE'S NOTHING
ANY OF YOU CAN DO TO STOP THAT
RIGHT NOW.
MAYBE GOOD LUCK NEXT CENTURY,
NEW ZEALAND.
THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOODNIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪