♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
THE U.N. CLIMATE CONFERENCE
KICKED OFF, RON DeSANTIS DEBATED
GAVIN NEWSOM IN A REAL CLASH OF
THE WHO GIVES A SHIT, AND THERE
WAS A NOTABLE DEATH IN THE WORLD
THAT ONE TIKTOK ACCOUNT TREATED
WITH THE DIGNITY IT TRULY
DESERVED.
>> BREAKING NEWS.
FORMER U.S. SECRETARY OF STATE
HENRY KISSINGER HAS PASSED AWAY
AT THE AGE OF 100.
KISSINGER SERVED AS AMERICA'S
TOP DIPLOMAT AND NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISER DURING THE
NIXON AND FORD ADMINISTRATIONS.
>> John: THAT'S RIGHT,
HENRY KISSINGER DIED AT THE RIPE
OLD AGE OF "NOT SOON ENOUGH."
AND IF YOU LIVE IN AMERICA, YOU
MIGHT VIEW HIM AS A
CONTROVERSIAL FIGURE.
BUT IF YOU LIVE IN CHILE,
ARGENTINA, VIETNAM, CAMBODIA,
EAST TIMOR, BANGLADESH, OR
ANYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH, YOU KNOW
THAT'S MAYBE THE MOST OBSCENE
UNDERSTATEMENT OF ALL TIME.
WHICH IS NOT TO SAY THAT SOME
WEREN'T UPSET.
THE NEW YORK YANKEES TWEETED,
AMONG OTHER LIES, "HE WILL BE
DEEPLY MISSED."
WHICH, HONESTLY, TRACKS.
IF THERE'S ONE BASEBALL TEAM
THAT COULD APPRECIATE A MAN
BEHIND A WIDELY HATED, MORALLY
CORRUPT EMPIRE WHICH USED ITS
CONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL RESOURCES
TO DESTROY ITS ENEMIES BY ANY
MEANS NECESSARY, IT'S THE
YANKEES.
BUT RATHER THAN CONTINUE TO
CELEBRATE THAT MAN GOING TO
HELL, WE'RE GOING TO TURN TO
CONGRESS, WHICH ON FRIDAY DID
THIS.
>> THE GEORGE SANTOS SAGA IS
OFFICIALLY OVER.
WITHIN HOURS OF HIS HOUSE
COLLEAGUES VOTING TO MAKE HIM
JUST THE SIXTH MEMBER IN HISTORY
EXPELLED FROM OFFICE, CREWS WERE
CHANGING THE LOCKS ON HIS
WASHINGTON OFFICE DOORS.
>> HIS FINAL REMARK, REPORTEDLY,
"WHY WOULD I WANT TO STAY
HERE?
TO HELL WITH THIS PLACE."
>> John: YEAH, THEY FINALLY
KICKED GEORGE SANTOS OUT.
AND I SAY FINALLY BECAUSE IT
WAS THEIR THIRD ATTEMPT AT DOING
THAT.
APPARENTLY, IT TAKES THREE TRIES
TO GET RID OF HIM -- A SORT OF
"REVERSE BEETLEJUICE" SITUATION,
IF YOU WILL.
WHAT PROBABLY PUSHED IT OVER THE
TOP THIS TIME THOUGH WAS THE
RELEASE TWO WEEKS AGO OF A
SCATHING ETHICS COMMITTEE REPORT
CONTAINING ACCUSATIONS ABOUT,
AMONG OTHER THINGS, HIS USE OF
CAMPAIGN FUNDS.
>> THE PROBE FOUND HE USED SOME
OF THE MONEY FOR BOTOX
TREATMENTS, LUXURY SHOPPING
SPREES AT HERMES AND FERRAGAMO,
TRIPS TO ATLANTIC CITY AND THE
HAMPTONS, AND A SUBSCRIPTION TO
THE ADULT WEBSITE ONLYFANS.
>> John: OKAY, LOOK.
I'VE BEEN TRYING -- WE'VE ALL
BEEN TRYING.
TO SHAKE OUR HEADS AND SAY
THINGS LIKE 'THAT'S NOT
BEFITTING OF THE OFFICE".
BECAUSE WE KNOW: THAT'S NOT
ALLOWED.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY.
IF YOU'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO,
THAT IS THE WAY TO FUCKING DO
IT.
LOOKING GOOD, GOING OUT, AND
GETTING OFF ON GIG ECONOMY PORN?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE MAD HE
SPENT CAMPAIGN FUNDS VIBING OUT
ON DIVA SHIT?
AND WHILE SANTOS DENIES ALL
THAT, THE SPENDING WAS JUST THE
TIP OF THE ICEBERG.
THE REPORT ALSO INCLUDED A FULL
COPY OF THE "OPPOSITION REPORT"
HIS OWN CAMPAIGN COMMISSIONED ON
HIM, TITLED "THE GEORGE SANTOS
VULNERABILITY REPORT," WHICH WAS
141 PAGES LONG, FEATURING
SECTIONS LIKE, "FLORIDA DRIVERS
LICENSE SUSPENSION," "UNVERIFIED
DEGREES" AND "SECURITIES FRAUD
PONZI SCHEME."
EVEN THE COVER WAS DAMNING, AS
THIS WAS THE ACTUAL PHOTO THEY
USED, WHICH IS SPECTACULAR.
IT'S A PHOTO THAT SAYS, "OPENING
FOR SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO" OR, "I
FAKED MY OWN DEATH FOR INSURANCE
MONEY: A TED TALK" AND SANTOS
DID NOT TAKE THE VOTE AGAINST
HIM LIGHTLY.
AHEAD OF IT, HE GAVE A PRESS
CONFERENCE THAT WAS UPSTAGED BY
A GARBAGE TRUCK APPEARING IN THE
BACKGROUND.
WHICH IS PERFECTLY ON-THE-NOSE.
HE ALSO VENTED HIS FRUSTRATION
AT WHAT HE SAW AS A DOUBLE
STANDARD.
>> I MEAN, WITHIN THE RANKS OF
THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS,
THERE'S FELONS GALORE, THERE'S
PEOPLE WITH ALL SORTS OF SHEISTY
BACKGROUNDS, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
GEORGE SANTOS IS THE MARY
MAGDALENE OF UNITED STATES
CONGRESS.
WE'RE ALL GONNA STONE THIS
MOTHERFUCKER BECAUSE IT'S JUST
POLITICALLY EXPEDIENT.
RIGHT?
NOW, NO PUN INTENDED, I WAS BORN
ON MARY MAGDALENE'S DAY, WHICH
IS JULY 22ND, WHICH, I FIND IT
TO BE ABSOLUTELY IRONIC.
>> John: NOW OBVIOUSLY, EVERY
WORD OF THAT IS A JEWEL AND IT'S
IMPOSSIBLE TO PICK THE
SPARKLIEST.
I MEAN, FIRST, IT'S GOOD THAT HE
SAID, "NO PUN INTENDED" BECAUSE
NO PUN DETECTED.
SECOND, THAT'S NOT IRONY, IT'S A
COINCIDENCE.
AND FINALLY, NOT TO BE A TOTAL
ASTROLOGY GIRLIE, BUT IT MAKES
SO MUCH SENSE THAT HE'S A
CANCER/LEO CUSP.
PRONE TO FITS OF EMOTION, LOVES
TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION,
AND RECENTLY HARD LAUNCHED A
HUSBAND.
THAT SHIT IS TEXTBOOK.
THE TRUTH IS, THIS MAN NEVER
BELONGED IN CONGRESS.
HE BELONGS ON BRAVO.
JUST THINK OF EVERYTHING HE
PACKED IN DURING HIS BRIEF TIME
ON THE NATIONAL STAGE.
LIKE WHEN HE IMPLIED THAT HIS
YOUNG NIECE HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED
FROM A PLAYGROUND IN QUEENS,
POSSIBLY IN RETALIATION FOR HIS
PUBLIC COMMENTS ABOUT CHINA, OR
THAT "9/11 CLAIMED MY MOTHERS
LIFE" EVEN THOUGH RECORDS SHOW
SHE WASN'T EVEN IN NEW YORK AT
THE TIME.
THAT KIND OF MESSINESS ISN'T
JUST "FRIENDS-OF" BEHAVIOR, IT'S
FULL-ON HOUSEWIFE.
SANTOS WAS UNMATCHED AT GIVING
US A+ HEADLINES LIKE "GEORGE
SANTOS HAS MELTDOWN WHILE
HOLDING MYSTERY BABY."
AND BY THE WAY, WHEN SANTOS WAS
ASKED IF THAT BABY WAS HIS, HIS
ANSWER WAS, "NOT YET."
WHICH IS THE SINGLE FUNNIEST
POSSIBLE ANSWER, OUTSIDE OF
MAYBE, "WHAT BABY?"
I'M JUST SAYING, SANTOS CLEARLY
DIDN'T DELIVER FOR HIS
CONSTITUENTS, BUT HE DELIVERED
HARD FOR THE REST OF US.
AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE IN MY
GOVERNMENT.
AND I DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO
HIM ON AN AIRPLANE.
BUT I DEFINITELY WANT HIM IN
ANDY COHEN'S MENAGERIE OF
DAMAGED HUMAN BEINGS.
CALL THIS MAN NOW, COHEN, AND
PAY HIM WHAT HE'S WORTH.
AND NOW THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW,
PEOPLE ON TV TALK ABOUT AI THE
ONLY WAY THEY KNOW HOW.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER
THE "TERMINATOR" MOVIES, WHERE
THE COMPUTERS AND THE MACHINES
STARTED ACTING LIKE HUMANS.
THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF WHEN I
THINK OF ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE.
>> AS SOMEONE WHO'S FAVORITE
MOVIE IS "T2 JUDGMENT DAY", I'M
CONCERNED ABOUT THESE MACHINES
BECOMING SELF-AWARE AND TAKING
OVER.
I LAUGH, BUT I'M ALSO QUITE
SERIOUS ABOUT IT.
>> THERE WAS A MOVIE ABOUT THIS.
WHICH ONE?
>> "TERMINATOR".
>> MAKES YOU HAVE A VISION OF
"TERMINATOR" AND SKYNET.
>> ALL OF US HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE
"TERMINATOR", WE KNOW HOW THIS
ENDS.
>> I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE.
>> THIS IS "TERMINATOR" ALL OVER
AGAIN.
I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE.
>> YOU'RE SCARED OF AI?
>> YES, I'M SCARED, HAVE YOU
SEEN "TERMINATOR"?
>> IS AI REALLY STEPS AWAY FROM
BEING THE "TERMINATOR" OF
HUMANITIES FUTURE?
PLUS, KYRA SEDGWICK IS LIVE TO
TALK ABOUT CELEBRATING 35 YEARS
OF MARRIAGE WITH KEVIN BACON.
♪ ♪
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
ORGANS.
WHAT I PERSONALLY THINK SHOULD
BE INSIDE OF PINATAS.
CHILDREN HAVE TO LEARN THAT
THEIR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT ORGAN AND BODY
DONATION.
ORGAN TRANSPLANTS ARE A TOPIC
THAT'S BEEN COVERED ON TV IN
MANY PROFOUND WAYS, INCLUDING IN
THIS MOVING CLIP.
♪ ♪
[LAUGHTER]
♪ ♪
>> John: YES!
THAT'S WHAT'S KNOWN IN THE
BUSINESS AS "EXCELLENT FUCKING
TELEVISION."
WE'VE ACTUALLY SHOWN YOU THAT
CLIP BEFORE ON THIS SHOW, DURING
A STORY ABOUT -- AND THIS IS
TRUE -- POLICE INTERROGATIONS.
AND WE WILL ABSOLUTELY SHOW IT
TO YOU AGAIN, WHENEVER THE FUCK
WE FEEL LIKE IT.
BUT THE POINT IS, ORGAN DONATION
IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, WHICH IS
WHY THERE ARE SO MANY ADS
ENCOURAGING YOU TO DO IT, AS
WELL AS TV COMMERCIALS AND PSAS,
PERHAPS NONE MORE BRILLIANT THAN
THIS ONE FROM AUSTRALIA.
>> HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT MAYBE
BECOMING AN ORGAN DONOR?
>> IS THIS REALLY THE BEST TIME
TO BRING THIS UP?
>> OH, WE GET IT.
YOU KNOW, NO ONE WANTS TO TALK
ABOUT DEATH.
UGH!
BUT, YOU KNOW, NOT ALL OF US ARE
GOING TO THE ETERNAL PARADISE,
AND YOUR ORGANS COULD SAVE THE
LIVES OF UP TO SIX PEOPLE.
>> SEVEN.
SEVEN PEOPLE.
NOT TO MENTION, HOW YOUR BONES
AND SOFT TISSUE AND LIGAMENTS
COULD CHANGE THE LIVES OF MANY
OTHERS.
>> AND CORNEAS.
YOU'LL HELP BLIND PEOPLE SEE!
>> WHAT A MIRACLE!
>> OBVIOUSLY, I WOULD DO IT.
I'M JESUS.
>> John: RIGHT, OF COURSE JESUS
WOULD DO IT.
THOUGH I WILL SAY, JESUS HAVING
NONE OF HIS VITAL ORGANS MIGHT
COMPLICATE HIS RESURRECTION
THREE DAYS LATER.
EASTER PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE AS
BIG IF IT CELEBRATED THE DAY
JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND
THEN INSTANTLY DIED AGAIN FROM
RENAL FAILURE.
BUT THAT AD IS RIGHT!
ORGAN DONATION SAVES LIVES!
AND HERE IN THE U.S., IT'S
WIDELY POPULAR.
SURVEYS HAVE CONSISTENTLY FOUND
90% OR MORE OF AMERICANS
INDICATING THEIR SUPPORT FOR
ORGAN DONATION.
AND AROUND HALF OF RESPONDENTS
TO A RECENT SURVEY HAD SIGNED UP
AS DONORS.
AND A LOT OF LIVES GET SAVED
THIS WAY.
LAST YEAR, THERE WERE OVER
42,000 ORGAN TRANSPLANTS
PERFORMED HERE IN THE US.
BUT THE SYSTEM THAT HANDLES OUR
DONATIONS HAS CONSIDERABLE FLAWS
-- WHICH SOMETIMES LEAK INTO
PUBLIC VIEW, THROUGH STORIES
LIKE THIS ONE, ABOUT A DONOR
HEART THAT WAS BEING SENT FOR
PROCESSING TO MAKE LIFE-SAVING
TISSUE GRAFTS.
>> A SOUTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT
HAD TO TURN AROUND BECAUSE
SOMEONE LEFT A HUMAN HEART ON
BOARD.
THIS HAPPENED OVER THE WEEKEND.
THIS WAS A DONOR HEART OF
COURSE.
IT WAS HEADED TO A CLINIC IN
SEATTLE FROM SACRAMENTO, BUT
SOMEONE APPARENTLY FORGOT TO
UNLOAD THAT HEART WHEN IT
REACHED SEATTLE.
>> MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT THE
PILOT MADE AN ANNOUNCEMENT WHEN
THEY TURNED AROUND THAT THEY
WERE RETURNING BECAUSE THERE WAS
A HEART THAT HAD BEEN LEFT ON
BOARD.
>> John: THAT IS AWFUL!
FIRST, "I LEFT YOUR HEART ON A
SOUTHWEST FLIGHT" 100% SOUNDS
LIKE A LANA DEL REY LYRIC.
BUT ALSO, IT'S WORTH MENTIONING,
A FEW YEARS AGO, SOUTHWEST
CELEBRATED THEIR FIFTIETH
ANNIVERSARY WITH A CAMPAIGN
FEATURING THIS GRAPHIC AND THE
WORDS "FIFTY YEARS.
ONE HEART."
WHICH PROBABLY SHOULD'VE BEEN
UPDATED TO READ "FIFTY YEARS,
ONE HEART THAT WE TOTALLY FORGOT
ABOUT AND ALMOST SENT TO
DALLAS."
AND WHILE WE THANKFULLY HAD OVER
42,000 TRANSPLANTS LAST YEAR,
THE LIST OF THOSE WAITING FOR
ONE IS OVER 100,000 PEOPLE LONG,
WITH 17 PEOPLE DYING EACH DAY
WAITING FOR A TRANSPLANT.
MAKING IT PRETTY FRUSTRATING
THAT EXPERTS SAY MANY THOUSANDS
MORE COULD BE DONE EACH YEAR IF
OUR ORGAN-TRANSPLANT SYSTEM
FUNCTIONED SMOOTHLY.
IT'S FRANKLY NO WONDER PEOPLE
ARE DESPERATELY TRYING TO
CIRCUMVENT THE SYSTEM, BY
POSTING CRAIGSLIST ADS, PUTTING
UP SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS, OR EVEN
DOING THIS.
>> MARC NEEDS A KIDNEY.
AND NOW, BECAUSE OF THIS GIANT
BILLBOARD, THAT VITAL MESSAGE IS
REACHING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS
OF PEOPLE AS THEY PASS THROUGH
THE CROSSROADS OF THE WORLD.
>> John: IT'S TRUE, A MAN IN
NEED OF A KIDNEY RESORTED TO
PUTTING UP A GIANT BILLBOARD IN
TIMES SQUARE.
AND THAT IS CLEARLY NOT WHAT
BILLBOARDS SHOULD BE USED FOR.
THEY SHOULD BE USED TO ADVERTISE
BROADWAY MUSICALS, SPORTSWEAR,
OR A WEIRD BIRD THAT SOMEONE
WANTS TO WIN A CONTEST ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FOR SOME
REASON.
NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS, THAT AD
HELPED THAT MAN TO FIND A LIVING
KIDNEY DONOR.
BUT, AGAIN, MANY AREN'T THAT
FORTUNATE.
AND THE ISSUE HERE ISN'T JUST
WITH ORGANS -- BECAUSE IN A
COMPLETELY SEPARATE PROCESS,
EACH YEAR, AROUND 20,000
AMERICANS GENEROUSLY DONATE
THEIR WHOLE BODIES TO SCIENCE.
BUT THAT SYSTEM HAS ITS OWN
ISSUES, BECAUSE THE DEFINITION
OF WHAT CONSTITUTES "SCIENCE"
CAN BE PRETTY LOOSE.
YOUR BODY COULD END UP EDUCATING
MEDICAL STUDENTS.
BUT IT COULD ALSO END UP
SOMEWHERE LIKE THE OKLAHOMA CITY
MUSEUM OF OSTEOLOGY.
>> THIS IS OUR HUMAN EXHIBIT.
>> SO WHEN SOMEBODY AGREES TO
DONATE THEIR BODY TO SCIENCE,
THEY COULD END UP HERE.
>> IT'S POSSIBLE THEY COULD END
UP HERE.
>> DO YOU THINK, THOUGH, THAT
PEOPLE, WHEN THEY THINK ABOUT A
DONATION OF -- OF THEIR BODY TO
SCIENCE, THAT THIS IS AN EXAMPLE
OF THAT?
>> I WOULD AUTOMATICALLY THINK
IT WOULD BE, YES.
>> John: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT
THAT?
WHEN MOST PEOPLE THINK ABOUT
DONATING THEIR BODY TO SCIENCE,
THEY PICTURE IT IN A REPUTABLE
EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION -- NOT
IN SOME ROADSIDE BONE
COLLECTION, FACE DOWN, ASS UP,
ARRANGED IN A FORMATION BEST
DESCRIBED AS "CIRQUE DU SOLEIL
PERFORMER'S FAVORITE SEX
POSITION."
THE FACT IS, OUR DONATED ORGANS
-- WHILE BEING INCREDIBLY
IMPORTANT TO SAVING LIVES -- ARE
NOT GETTING INTO ENOUGH PEOPLE.
AND OUR DONATED BODIES --
INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT TO
ADVANCING KNOWLEDGE -- AREN'T
ALWAYS TREATED WITH THE CARE
THEY DESERVE.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT OUR
DONATION SYSTEMS FOR BOTH AND
LET'S START WITH THE SYSTEM FOR
ORGANS.
ORGAN TRANSPLANTS ARE FAIRLY
RECENT.
THE FIRST SUCCESSFUL OPERATION
ONLY TOOK PLACE IN 1954.
FOR A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE, THAT
WAS THE YEAR OPRAH WAS BORN.
ORGAN TRANSPLANTATION IS ONLY
ONE OPRAH OLD!
FROM THERE, TRANSPLANTS WENT
BECAME MORE COMMON.
IN 1984, CONGRESS PASSED THE
NATIONAL ORGAN TRANSPLANT ACT
THAT BANS THE SALE OF HUMAN
ORGANS, AND ACTUALLY OPENED UP
ACCESS BY ESTABLISHING A
NATIONAL REGISTRY FOR ORGAN
MATCHING, TO BE RUN BY A PRIVATE
NONPROFIT UNDER GOVERNMENT
CONTRACT.
AND THE ORGANIZATION THAT'S HELD
IT EVER SINCE, IS CALLED UNOS,
OR THE UNITED NETWORK FOR ORGAN
SHARING.
IT'S A NATIONAL BODY THAT SITS
ATOP 56 REGIONAL "ORGAN
PROCUREMENT ORGANIZATIONS"-- AND
WE'LL GET INTO THEM IN A BIT.
BUT UNOS ALSO MANAGES THE
NATIONWIDE TRANSPLANT WAITING
LIST.
AND IN THIS DOCUMENTARY FROM 20
YEARS AGO, THE HEAD OF UNOS
EXPLAINED THE LOGISTICS THAT GO
INTO DECIDING WHO GETS WHICH
ORGAN.
>> MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT THE
WAY THE WAITING LIST WORKS IS
THAT ONCE A PERSON IS ON THE
LIST, THAT THEY JUST SIMPLY STAY
ON THE LIST UNTIL TIME HAS
PASSED AND THEY MOVE UP TO THE
TOP OF THE LIST AND RECEIVE AN
ORGAN.
BUT IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
IT'S A VERY DYNAMIC AND FLUID
SITUATION, IN WHICH EACH PERSON
IS EVALUATED BASED ON MEDICAL
CRITERIA, MATCHED WITH
INFORMATION THAT'S PLACED IN THE
COMPUTER ABOUT EACH ORGAN DONOR.
>> John: RIGHT.
WHILE YOU MIGHT ASSUME THAT YOU
JUST GET ON THE LIST, WAIT YOUR
TURN, AN ORGAN ARRIVES FOR YOU
AT THE HOSPITAL, AND A DOG EATS
IT OFF THE FLOOR WHILE EVERYONE
NEARBY JUST KIND OF ROLLS WITH
IT, THE ACTUAL MATCHING PROCESS
CHANGES CONSTANTLY BASED ON
WHICH ORGANS ARE AVAILABLE AND
WHICH PATIENTS MOST NEED THEM,
AND IN THEORY, THAT SOUNDS
AMAZING.
BUT THERE ARE MULTIPLE PROBLEMS.
FOR STARTERS, UNOS'S COMPUTER
SYSTEMS LEAVE A LOT TO BE
DESIRED.
A GOVERNMENT REPORT IN 2021
CITED AGED SOFTWARE, PERIODIC
SYSTEM FAILURES, MISTAKES IN
PROGRAMMING, AND OVERRELIANCE ON
MANUAL INPUT OF DATA.
INVESTIGATORS EVEN CITED
MULTIPLE SYSTEM OUTAGES, WITH
ONE FROM TWO YEARS AGO LASTING
ABOUT THREE HOURS, WHICH ISN'T
GOOD.
BECAUSE EVERY MINUTE MATTERS
WHEN IT COMES TO THE VIABILITY
OF AN ORGAN FOR A TRANSPLANT,
AND AS ANYONE WHO'S SEEN
"KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON" CAN
TELL YOU, THREE HOURS CAN BE AN
INCREDIBLY LONG TIME.
BUT IT'S NOT JUST TECHNICAL
ERRORS -- THERE ARE ALSO SERIOUS
ISSUES WITH SOME OF THE WAYS
UNOS HAS RANKED PATIENTS IN
TERMS OF NEED, MOST NOTABLY,
WHEN IT COMES TO KIDNEYS.
FOR YEARS, IT ALLOWED TRANSPLANT
CENTERS TO EMPLOY SOMETHING
CALLED A BLACK RACE COEFFICIENT.
WHICH IS JUST AS BAD AS IT
SOUNDS.
VERY BASICALLY, HOSPITALS
MISCALCULATED BLACK PATIENTS'
KIDNEY FUNCTION, BASED ON RACIST
JUNK SCIENCE THAT SAID BLACK
BODIES HAVE HIGHER MUSCLE MASS.
THAT MADE BLACK PATIENTS APPEAR
HEALTHIER THAN THEY WERE,
PUSHING THEM DOWN THE KIDNEY
TRANSPLANT LIST, AND IT'S ONE
REASON WHY -- EVEN THOUGH BLACK
PEOPLE ARE FOUR TIMES AS LIKELY
TO DEVELOP KIDNEY FAILURE AS
WHITE PEOPLE -- THEY ARE MUCH
LESS LIKELY TO RECEIVE A
TRANSPLANT.
AND WHILE UNOS'S TRANSPLANT
NETWORK DID APPROVE THE
ELIMINATION OF RACE-BASED
CALCULATIONS, THEY ONLY DID THAT
LAST YEAR AND HAVE GIVEN
HOSPITALS UNTIL JANUARY OF NEXT
YEAR TO UPDATE THEIR WAITING
LISTS.
WHICH FEELS LIKE TOO LONG,
CONSIDERING THAT THE CORRECT
TIME TO FIX THAT PROBLEM IS
"FUCKING AGES AGO."
AND THEN THERE'S THE FACT THAT
RICH PEOPLE CAN ESSENTIALLY CUT
THE LINE.
THE WAY THEY CAN DO THIS IS BY
REGISTERING THEMSELVES AT
MULTIPLE TRANSPLANT HOSPITALS IN
MULTIPLE STATES, WITH THE PLAN
TO FLY SOMEWHERE ON A MOMENT'S
NOTICE IF ONE BECOMES AVAILABLE.
IT'S CALLED "MULTIPLE LISTING,"
AND IT'S HOW, IN 2009,
STEVE JOBS WAS ABLE TO GET A
LIVER IN A MATTER OF WEEKS IN
MEMPHIS DESPITE LIVING IN
CALIFORNIA, WHERE THERE WAS A
LONG WAIT LIST.
BUT THERE IS AN OBVIOUS REASON
THAT POLICY DOESN'T WORK FOR
PEOPLE WHO AREN'T BILLIONAIRE
CEO'S.
>> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD THAT
YOU CAN BE ON MULTIPLE LISTS IN
CENTERS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY?
>> NO.
THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA.
>> WE EXPLAINED THE COSTS.
COULD YOU AFFORD TO FLY TO THOSE
PLACES?
>> NO.
I DON'T THINK SO.
>> John: OF COURSE.
BOOKING A LAST-MINUTE TICKET CAN
BE REALLY EXPENSIVE, EVEN ON A
CHEAP AIRLINE LIKE THE ONE WHOSE
LOGO REMINDS YOU THAT THEY ONCE
LOST TRACK OF A HUMAN HEART ON
ONE OF THEIR GREYHOUND BUSES OF
THE SKY.
AND THERE'S ONE FINAL ISSUE WITH
UNOS, WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO ALSO
COORDINATE SHIPPING OF ORGANS
BETWEEN REGIONS -- FOR INSTANCE,
A KIDNEY THAT MATCHES A RARE
BLOOD TYPE MAY NEED TO BE FLOWN
TO ANOTHER STATE.
BUT EVEN THERE, IT RELIES ON A
PRIMITIVE SYSTEM OF PHONE CALLS
AND PAPER MANIFESTS, WITH NO GPS
OR OTHER ELECTRONIC TRACKING
REQUIRED.
AND THAT -- COMBINED WITH
FUCKUPS BY AIRLINES AND LOCAL
ORGANIZATIONS -- HELPS EXPLAIN
WHY NEARLY 170 ORGANS OVER A
RECENT FIVE-YEAR PERIOD COULD
NOT BE TRANSPLANTED DUE TO
TRANSPORTATION PROBLEMS.
KIDNEYS HAVE SHOWN UP LATE,
DAMAGED, OR -- IN ONE CASE -- IN
A PACKAGE THAT WAS "SQUISHED,"
WITH APPARENT TIRE MARKS ON IT.
AND NO DOCTOR SHOULD HAVE TO USE
A FLATTENED ORGAN.
THEY'RE PERFORMING A TRANSPLANT,
NOT MAKING KIDNEY PICCATA.
ONE DIRECTOR OF A TRANSPLANT
CENTER SUMS UP THE CURRENT
SITUATION LIKE THIS.
>> WHEN YOU ORDER A TOOTHBRUSH
ON AMAZON, THEY CAN TELL YOU
MINUTE TO MINUTE WHERE THAT
TOOTHBRUSH IS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT BEEN POSSIBLE
FOR ORGAN TRANSPLANTATION, EVEN
THOUGH WE THINK THAT WHAT WE DO
IS CONSIDERABLY MORE IMPORTANT
THAN ORDERING A TOOTHBRUSH.
>> John: LOOK, WE SHOULD
OBVIOUSLY BE ABLE TO TRACK
ORGANS AS EASILY AS WE TRACK
AMAZON PACKAGES.
AND DO YOU REALIZE HOW SHITTY
YOUR ORGANIZATION HAS TO BE FOR
ME TO SAY: "BE MORE LIKE
AMAZON?"
THINGS HAVE TO BE PRETTY DICEY
FOR ME TO LOOK INTO A CAMERA AND
SAY WITH MY ACTUAL MOUTH,
"PLEASE BE MORE LIKE THE
SOULLESS MEGACORPORATION CREATED
BY EVIL MR. CLEAN HERE."
SO, TO PUT IT MILDLY, UNOS COULD
AND SHOULD BE DOING A LOT
BETTER.
AND IT'LL SAY THAT IT HAS NEW
LEADERSHIP NOW, AND THAT THEY'RE
PUSHING FOR GPS TRACKING OF ALL
ORGANS, WHICH IS GOOD.
BUT THESE CHANGES HAVE BEEN TOO
LONG COMING.
AND UNOS IS NOT THE ONLY PLAYER
HERE.
REMEMBER, THERE ARE ALSO THE 56
ORGAN PROCUREMENT ORGANIZATIONS,
OR OPOs.
EACH OPERATES EXCLUSIVELY IN ITS
REGION AND IS TASKED WITH
WORKING WITH THE FAMILIES OF
DONORS, FACILITATING THE
RECOVERY OF ORGANS, AND
COORDINATING THEIR DELIVERY TO
THE TRANSPLANT HOSPITAL.
AND LET ME SAY, THE JOB THEY DO
IS VERY DIFFICULT.
BY ONE ESTIMATE, LESS THAN 2% OF
U.S. DEATHS OCCUR UNDER
CIRCUMSTANCES CONDUCIVE TO
DONATION -- TYPICALLY, THAT
ENTAILS SOMEONE BEING DECLARED
BRAIN DEAD, ON A VENTILATOR, IN
A HOSPITAL, WITH OXYGEN AND
BLOOD FLOWING TO THEIR ORGANS.
AND OPO'S HAVE TO APPROACH
FAMILIES FOR CONSENT AT A TIME
WHEN THEY'RE OFTEN IN SHOCK
ABOUT WHAT'S JUST HAPPENED.
THAT IS CHALLENGING.
ONE OPO EVEN PUT TOGETHER A
TRAINING VIDEO FOR ITS WORKERS,
WHERE THEY STAGED CONVERSATIONS
WITH ACTORS, TO SHOW WHAT ISSUES
MIGHT COME UP IN THE HEAT OF
THAT DISCUSSION.
AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE
ROLLER-COASTER RIDE.
>> HI!
GOOD MORNING.
MY NAME IS --
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND
I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
AND I'M GOING TO TELL YOU LIKE I
TOLD THE FUCKING DOCTOR.
YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING HIM!
WE'RE NOT DONATING SHIT!
>> IF YOU JUST GIVE ME AN --
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
STOP!
DO YOU SEE THIS HERE?
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT
NOW?
I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR OVER
A WEEK!
OVER A WEEK I'VE BEEN SITTING
HERE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME
TALK TO ME.
OH, WHAT?
BUT NOW THAT THEY WANT SOMETHING
NOW EVERYBODY WANTS TO COME TALK
TO ME NOW, RIGHT?
AND WHAT?
THEY SENT, WHAT, THIS CHARACTER
IN TO DO WHAT?
CONVINCE ME!
YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING MY HUSBAND.
>> John: WOW.
REST IN PEACE -- BOTH TO HER
FICTITIOUS HUSBAND, BUT ALSO TO
THAT SCENERY, WHICH JUST GOT
CHEWED BY THAT ACTING
POWERHOUSE.
WE WATCH A LOT OF TRAINING
VIDEOS FOR THIS SHOW, AND
BELIEVE ME -- THAT WOMAN IS THE
MERYL STREEP OF THE GENRE.
JUST TO CATCH YOU UP ON THIS:
THE MAN DECLARED BRAIN-DEAD IS
NAMED JORGE, AND THEY'VE ONLY
BEEN MARRIED FOR 2 MONTHS.
THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO HER IS
JORGE'S BROTHER.
HE DOESN'T WANT HER MAKING
DECISIONS FOR JORGE.
AND HE INITIALLY DOESN'T WANT
JORGE'S ORGANS DONATED EITHER,
BUT THEN HE REMEMBERS THAT WHEN
THEY WERE CHILDREN, THEIR MOM --
WHO WAS WORKING TWO JOBS AFTER
THEIR DAD LEFT -- DETAILS WE
DON'T NEED, BUT GET ANYWAY!
WOULD GIVE THEM EACH THEIR OWN
ALLOWANCE BUT JORGE WOULD GIVE
HIS TO HIS BROTHER.
WHY?
BECAUSE HE'S JUST THAT GIVING.
AND EVENTUALLY THEY BOTH REALIZE
JORGE WOULD WANT HIS ORGANS TO
BE DONATED.
ALL I'M SAYING IS, THERE'S A
RICH BACKSTORY HERE.
NOW, IS IT THE MOST GRIPPING
MEDICAL DRAMA I'VE EVER SEEN?
NO, AS I'VE SAID, THAT WOULD BE
THIS ONE, BUT IT IS STILL
UNEXPECTEDLY GOOD.
NOW, A LOT OF OPOs TRY AND GET
AHEAD OF CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT
BY ENCOURAGING MORE PEOPLE IN
THEIR AREA TO SIGN UP AS ORGAN
DONORS -- SOMETIMES THROUGH
ADVERTISING, AND SOMETIMES EVEN
USING MASCOTS.
GIFT OF LIFE MICHIGAN HAS
HARTLEY T. HART.
DONATE LIFE WISCONSIN HAS DOTTIE
THE DONOR DOT.
DONATE LIFE ARIZONA HAS REGGIE
THE DONOR CACTUS, WHO -- FROM
THAT PHOTO -- SEEMS TO BE HIGH
ON GLUE.
AND LIFESHARE OKLAHOMA HAS
DERRICK THE DONOR, WHO IS AN OIL
RIG, BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO THE
ORGANIZATION, "OIL IS A PRECIOUS
RESOURCE JUST LIKE ORGANS ARE A
PRECIOUS RESOURCE."
EXCEPT NO, THEY ARE NOT "JUST
LIKE" EACH OTHER, OKLAHOMA.
ONE OF THOSE SHOULD NOT GO INTO
YOUR BODY.
BESIDES, THIS IS JUST A BAD
MASCOT.
NO ONE'S GOING TO LOOK AT THIS
AND THINK "I SHOULD SIGN UP TO
DONATE MY ORGANS."
THEY'LL THINK "OH, NO, THAT
TELETUBBY IS SUFFOCATING!"
AND BECAUSE EACH OPO IS
RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTROLLING THE
ORGANS IN ITS AREA, HOW WELL IT
PERFORMS HAS ENORMOUS
CONSEQUENCES.
AND YET, UNTIL RECENTLY, THAT
PERFORMANCE HAS BEEN DETERMINED
BY THE OPOs THEMSELVES, SINCE
THEY'VE BEEN EVALUATED ON
SELF-REPORTED DATA, WHICH IS A
REAL PROBLEM.
BECAUSE OPOs CAN FAIL TO
RETRIEVE ORGANS FOR MANY REASONS
-- FROM EXHAUSTION OF OVERWORKED
STAFFERS, TO LACK OF RESOURCES.
AND EMPLOYEES HAVE ADMITTED TO
GAMING THE SYSTEM TO COVER UP
THOSE FAILURES.
JUST LISTEN TO THIS FORMER OPO
EXEC.
>> I USED TO WORK AT AN OPO.
AND WE REPORTED FALSE NUMBERS TO
MAKE IT APPEAR WE WERE DOING
BETTER THAN WE WERE.
IMAGINE THERE ARE 10 PEOPLE WHO
DIE AND THEY ALL HAVE HEALTHY
ORGANS THAT CAN SAVE SOMEONE'S
LIFE.
WE MIGHT LATER FALSELY REPORT
THAT ONLY FOUR OR FIVE OF THOSE
PEOPLE HAD HEALTHY ENOUGH ORGANS
FOR DONATION AND MAKE IT LOOK
LIKE WE WERE MORE SUCCESSFUL IN
OUR RECOVERY EFFORT THAN WE
WERE.
IN FACT, WE MIGHT NOT EVEN VISIT
ALL 10 PEOPLE.
>> John: THAT IS NOT GOOD.
AND I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN NEVER
LIE ABOUT DEATH.
BUT IT'S GOT TO BE A GOOD LIE,
LIKE WHEN ROBERT PATTINSON WENT
ON TO "THE TODAY SHOW" AND SAID,
THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO SEE THE
CIRCUS, SOMEBODY DIED.
ONE OF THE CLOWNS DIED.
HIS LITTLE CAR EXPLODED.
THE JOKE CAR EXPLODED ON HIM.
AND THEN LATER ADMITTED "I
ACTUALLY MADE THE WHOLE THING
UP."
THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE
BECAUSE OF THAT FAKE CLOWN'S
BUT THE PROBLEM IS, DESPITE THE
STAKES BEING THIS HIGH, OPO'S
HAVE VERY LITTLE INCENTIVE TO DO
BETTER.
THE GOVERNMENT HAS NEVER
DECERTIFIED AN OPO FOR POOR
PERFORMANCE.
AND POOR PERFORMANCE CAN HAVE
SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES FOR PEOPLE
LIKE L.A. POET TONYA INGRAM, WHO
DESPERATELY NEEDED A KIDNEY.
SHE ACTUALLY APPEARED BEFORE
CONGRESS TWO YEARS AGO TO
EXPLAIN HOW HER REGION'S OPO,
ONELEGACY, HAD FAILED HER.
>> THE ORGAN PROCUREMENT
ORGANIZATION THAT SERVES
LOS ANGELES, WHERE I LIVE, IS
FAILING ACCORDING TO THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT.
IN FACT, IT'S ONE OF THE WORST
IN THE COUNTRY.
ONE ANALYSIS SHOWED IT ONLY
RECOVERED 31% OF POTENTIAL ORGAN
DONORS.
SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE IN THIS
DIAGNOSIS, IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE
THIS IS IT, AND I WILL JUST BE
WAITING FOREVER UNTIL I'M NO
LONGER HERE.
>> John: THAT IS AWFUL.
AND TO MAKE IT WORSE THE
THEN-CEO OF ONELEGACY,
TOM MONE, WROTE HER AN EMAIL,
DEFENDING THE JOB HE'D DONE, AND
SUGGESTING THAT THE "NUMBER ONE
THING" SHE COULD DO TO "IMPROVE
YOUR CHANCES AND YOUR
COMMUNITY'S CHANCES OF A
LIFE-SAVING TRANSPLANT IS TO
REGISTER AS A DONOR AND HELP
PEOPLE IN YOUR ETHNIC GROUP, IN
PARTICULAR, TO CHOOSE TO DONATE
LIFE."
AND IF YOU'RE EVER TYPING THE
PHRASE "YOUR ETHNIC GROUP" INTO
AN EMAIL, CLIPPY SHOULD JUST
APPEAR AND SAY "NO, STOP WHAT
YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW."
AND I HAVE TO SAY, ONELEGACY
SAYS THEY ARE DEEPLY REGRETFUL
FOR THE EMAIL, WHICH THEY WANT
YOU TO KNOW WAS A PERSONAL
COMMUNICATION FROM TOM MONE.
VERY MUCH THROWING HIM UNDER THE
BUS LIKE A KIDNEY IN A BOX.
BUT AT THIS POINT, IT SHOULD BE
CLEAR: OUR SYSTEM OF MANAGING
DONATED ORGANS IS NOWHERE NEAR
WHERE IT SHOULD BE.
BUT DEPRESSINGLY, IT'S ACTUALLY
A PARAGON OF CARE AND
THOUGHTFULNESS COMPARED TO WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE DONATES
THEIR BODY TO SCIENCE.
WHICH BRING US TO WHOLE BODY
DONATION.
THAT'S A CHOICE THOUSANDS OF
AMERICANS MAKE EVERY YEAR,
EITHER FOR THEMSELVES, OR WHEN A
LOVED ONE'S ORGANS AREN'T
SUITABLE FOR DONATION.
AND IT'S ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL TO
BOTH SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH AND
MEDICAL TRAINING, AS THIS
MED-SCHOOL VIDEO WILL ATTEST.
>> THE BEAUTY AND COMPLEXITY OF
THE HUMAN BODY CAN REALLY ONLY
BE TAUGHT THROUGH THE PROCESS OF
STUDYING AN ANATOMICAL DONOR.
DONATIONS PROVIDE A TACTILE
SENSE OF LEARNING AND REALLY
HIGHLIGHT THE VARIATION AMONGST
HUMAN BEINGS IN A WAY THAT
VIRTUAL REALITY JUST CAN'T YET.
>> I THINK THIS PROGRAM ALLOWS
PEOPLE TO PRACTICE AND TO LEARN
IN A WAY THAT WILL REALLY HELP
THEIR FUTURE PATIENTS.
>> John: EXACTLY, DONATIONS TO
SCIENCE CAN HELP DOCTORS BETTER
UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN BODY.
FOR EXAMPLE, IF I DONATED MY
BODY, MAYBE THEY COULD FIGURE
OUT HOW A MAN CAN AGE 47 YEARS
IN A SINGLE DECADE.
IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT SHOULD
BE BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE.
I'M PROBABLY GOING TO BE FINE.
I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER.
AND IN THEORY, THAT'S GREAT.
UNFORTUNATELY, IN PRACTICE, YOU
MIGHT NOT END UP IN FRONT OF
MEDICAL STUDENTS.
INSTEAD YOU COULD END UP HERE.
>> ON A BRIGHT SUNDAY MORNING IN
PORTLAND EARLIER THIS MONTH.
>> THIS IS SOMEBODY THAT DONATED
THEIR BODY TO SCIENCE.
>> A FEW DOZEN PEOPLE SPENT THE
DAY INSIDE AT THIS DOWNTOWN
HOTEL.
THEY PAID UP TO $500 A SEAT IN
THE BALLROOM TO SIT UP CLOSE TO
THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE DRAPED IN
A WHITE SHEET.
>> I HEARD ABOUT IT THROUGH A
FRIEND, DECIDED TO BROADEN MY
EXPERIENCES.
>> THE SHEET COMES OFF, EXPOSING
THE CORPSE OF AN 86-YEAR-OLD
MAN.
THIS IN-PERSON, PAY-PER-VIEW
EVENT PUTS REGULAR PEOPLE,
PAYING CUSTOMERS, WITHIN AN
ARM'S LENGTH OF SOMETHING
USUALLY RESERVED FOR DOCTORS AND
SCIENTISTS.
>> John: OKAY, CLEARLY, A
MARRIOTT HOTEL AUTOPSY IS
STRETCHING THE DEFINITION OF
"SCIENCE."
AND NOT TO GET SIDETRACKED, BUT
DID THAT GUY SAY HE HEARD ABOUT
IT THROUGH A FRIEND?
BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
THAT CONVERSATION SHOULD GO:
YOUR FRIEND SAYS, "HEY, WANNA GO
TO A LIVE AUTOPSY?"
TO WHICH YOU REPLY, "I'M
SORRY...
WHAT?"
TO WHICH HE SAYS, "YEAH, THEY'RE
DISSECTING A BODY!"
TO WHICH YOU SAY, "WHAT KIND OF
ANIMAL?"
TO WHICH HE SAYS, "NO, IT'S A
HUMAN MAN!"
TO WHICH YOU RESPOND, "WHY WOULD
ANYONE GO ALL THE WAY TO A
MEDICAL SCHOOL TO WATCH -- "
TO WHICH HE INTERRUPTS WITH, "OH
NO!
IT'S NOT AT A MEDICAL SCHOOL,
IT'S IN THE BALLROOM OF A
MARRIOTT IN DOWNTOWN PORTLAND.
BUT WE HAVE TO BE OUT BY THREE,
THERE'S A QUINCEANERA."
TO WHICH YOU REPLY, "WAIT, WHAT
NOW?"
TO WHICH HE SAYS, "YEAH, AND
IT'S ONLY $500 TO GET IN."
TO WHICH YOUR ONLY RESPONSE
SHOULD BE, "I'LL PAY $500 RIGHT
NOW, FOR YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO
ME AGAIN.
THIS FRIENDSHIP IS OVER."
AND I WILL SAY: THE EXPLANATION
OFFERED BY THE MAN WHO HOSTED
THAT EVENT WASN'T GREAT.
>> THE BODY BUYER,
DeathScience.org, IS RUN BY
JEREMY CILIBERTO, WHO HAS NO
PROFESSIONAL CREDENTIALS.
IT WAS CILIBERTO WHO BROUGHT THE
PORTLAND BODY SHOW TO LIFE AND
HAD PLANNED ONE FOR SEATTLE AS
WELL ON HALLOWEEN DAY.
CAN YOU GUARANTEE THEY HAD
KNOWLEDGE THAT HE KNEW THAT HIS
BODY WOULD BE USED IN THIS WAY?
>> I CAN GUARANTEE THAT HE KNEW
HIS BODY WOULD BE USED FOR
MEDICAL EDUCATION.
>> John: OH, BULLSHIT.
AND I'VE GOTTA SAY, I'M NOT
SURPRISED THAT THAT LONG-LOST
MEMBER OF "MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE"
DOESN'T HAVE ANY MEDICAL
CREDENTIALS.
BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN
WHY HE'S SOMEHOW PROVIDING
"MEDICAL EDUCATION."
AND YET, THAT'S TOTALLY LEGAL.
BECAUSE BODIES DONATED TO
SCIENCE ARE BOUGHT AND SOLD IN A
VIRTUALLY UNREGULATED MARKET.
THERE IS NO FEDERAL LAW, AND NO
GOVERNMENT AGENCY MONITORS WHAT
HAPPENS TO CADAVERS PLEDGED FOR
USE IN MEDICAL RESEARCH AND
EDUCATION.
THERE ARE ALSO NO
GOVERNMENT-MANDATED NONPROFITS
HERE, INSTEAD THERE ARE
FOR-PROFIT COMPANIES KNOWN AS
BODY BROKERS -- OR, AS THEY
PREFER TO BE CALLED,
"NON-TRANSPLANT TISSUE BANKS" --
WHO VERY LITERALLY SELL BODIES
OFF FOR PARTS.
ONE OF THE FEW RULES THAT EVEN
APPLIES TO THEM IS A STATUTE
ADOPTED IN 47 STATES CALLED THE
UNIFORM ANATOMICAL GIFT ACT THAT
REQUIRES DONORS MUST PROVIDE
INFORMED CONSENT, WITH THOSE
AGREEMENTS TYPICALLY STIPULATING
THAT THE BODY WILL BE USED FOR
RESEARCH AND EDUCATION.
BUT "MEDICAL RESEARCH AND
EDUCATION" IS NOT CLEARLY
DEFINED.
AND, AS YOU JUST SAW, THAT CAN
TECHNICALLY MEAN THAT YOUR BODY
MIGHT BE CARVED UP IN A MARRIOTT
FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF A GROWN
MAN IN A FEDORA.
AND EVEN ORGANIZATIONS THAT DO
SUPPLY BODIES TO MEDICAL
SCHOOLS, LIKE ILLINOIS'
ANATOMICAL GIFT ASSOCIATION, CAN
CONDUCT THEMSELVES POORLY.
IT WAS ACCUSED BY ONE EMPLOYEE
OF MISHANDLING AND MISTREATING
BODIES -- LEAVING SOME ROTTING
OR BEING EATEN BY RATS.
WHICH IS HORRIFIC.
RATS SHOULDN'T BE HUNGRILY
DEVOURING HUMAN BODIES; THEY
SHOULD BE HUNGRILY DEVOURING
EACH OTHERS BODIES -- I THINK
WE'VE MADE THAT PRETTY CLEAR.
AND WHILE THE AGA SAID THAT IT
STRONGLY DISAGREED WITH THE
EMPLOYEE'S ALLEGATIONS OF
MISTREATMENT, THAT EMPLOYEE ALSO
SAYS THAT HE WAS PUNISHED FOR
SPEAKING OUT, AND IN THE
GROSSEST POSSIBLE WAY.
>> MR. WHEATLEY SAYS THAT WHEN
HE APPROACHED HIS SUPERVISORS
WITH HIS CONCERNS ABOUT
PROCEDURES, THREE DISMEMBERED
HEADS FROM DONATED BODIES WERE
LEFT AT HIS DESK.
>> MY BOSS WALKED BY.
I ASKED HIM WHY THE HEADS WERE
AT MY DESK, AND HE TOLD ME THEY
NEEDED TO GET BACK WITH THEIR
BODIES SO WE CAN SEND THEM TO
CREMATION.
AND I SAID, "I UNDERSTAND THAT.
WHY ARE THEY AT MY DESK?"
AND HE TOLD ME, "WELL, I DON'T
KNOW, DALE.
THERE'S A LOT OF STRANGE THINGS
HAPPENING."
>> John: HOLY SHIT.
"I DON'T KNOW, DALE.
THERE'S A LOT OF STRANGE THINGS
HAPPENING?"
IF YOU'RE BOLD ENOUGH TO LEAVE
SEVERED HEADS AT SOMEONE'S DESK,
WHY BE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE?
EITHER YOU'RE A DIRECT
COMMUNICATOR OR YOU'RE NOT!
PICK A FUCKING LANE.
AND BODY BROKERS WILL SOMETIMES
MAKE ATTRACTIVE PITCHES TO
OBTAIN BODIES.
STRUGGLING FAMILIES MIGHT BE
TOLD THEY'LL RECEIVE A CREMATED
PORTION OF THEIR LOVED ONE, FREE
OF CHARGE.
OTHER TIMES, FAMILIES MIGHT BE
TOLD THEIR LOVED ONE'S BODY WILL
BE USED TO RESEARCH THE EXACT
CONDITION THEY DIED FROM.
WHICH IS A LOVELY IDEA, BUT IT'S
JUST NOT ALWAYS THE CASE.
TAKE WHAT HAPPENED WITH
CODY SAUNDERS, WHO DIED AT AGE
24 FROM A RARE DISEASE, AND I'LL
LET HIS MOTHER EXPLAIN WHAT
HAPPENED NEXT.
>> WE COULDN'T AFFORD A BURIAL
FOR CODY.
>> CODY'S MOM, ANGIE, SAYS
SOMEONE TOLD HER ABOUT A COMPANY
THAT COULD HELP.
RESTORE LIFE USA OFFERED TO
HANDLE ALL OF THE EXPENSES IN
EXCHANGE FOR USING SOME OF
CODY'S BODY FOR MEDICAL
RESEARCH.
>> ALL I REMEMBER IS THEY WERE
SUPPOSED TO TAKE SKIN CELLS SO
THEY COULD FIGURE OUT -- MAYBE
THEY COULD FIGURE OUT THAT --
WHAT CAUSED THIS DISEASE.
>> John: YOU CAN SEE WHY THAT
WOULD BE SO APPEALING FOR HER.
AND WHY IT MAKES IT SO UPSETTING
THAT, A MONTH AFTER CODY DIED, A
REPORTER FROM REUTERS BOUGHT HER
SON'S CERVICAL SPINE FOR $300,
PLUS SHIPPING, FROM THAT
COMPANY.
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "HOW THE
FUCK WAS THAT ALLOWED TO
HAPPEN?"
WELL, IN ALMOST EVERY STATE,
IT'S LEGAL TO SELL THE HUMAN
REMAINS OF ADULTS.
THERE ARE MULTIPLE WEBSITES
WHERE YOU CAN BUY HUMAN BONES.
SKULLS UNLIMITED -- WHICH IS
ACTUALLY THE COMPANY THAT OWNED
THAT BONE MUSEUM YOU SAW
EARLIER, SELLS SKELETONS THAT IT
GUARANTEES ARE ANTIQUES --
D■ECADES-OLD HUMAN BONES ONC
USED IN PLACES LIKE MEDICAL
SCHOOLS.
BUT UNDER MOST STATES' LAWS,
THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE.
AND THEY'LL SELL YOU A HUMAN
SKULL FOR $2,200, OR A RIB FOR
$40.
YOU CAN EVEN BUY HUMAN TEETH FOR
$35 A POP.
WHICH IS A PRETTY GREAT DEAL.
AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS,
WE BOUGHT TWO DOZEN OF THEM!
EXCEPT OF COURSE WE DIDN'T,
RELAX, WE'RE NOT FUCKING
MONSTERS!
BUT WE COULD HAVE DONE IT IF WE
WANTED TO, AND I'M VERY
DISAPPOINTED BY HOW MANY PEOPLE
IN THIS ROOM SEEMED GENUINELY
WORRIED THAT WE MIGHT'VE DONE
THAT!
UNBELIEVABLE!
AND YOU MIGHT BE
THINKING, "THIS WHOLE STORY HAS
HORRIFIED ME SO MUCH, I'M
KEEPING EVERYTHING INSIDE ME AND
I'M TAKING IT TO MY GRAVE."
BUT IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO
REITERATE JUST HOW MEANINGFUL
ORGAN DONATION, IN PARTICULAR,
CAN BE.
TAKE WHAT HAPPENED TO
ALYSSA SANDEEN, WHO WOULD HAVE
DIED WITHOUT A HEART TRANSPLANT.
AND TEN YEARS AGO, ONE BECAME
AVAILABLE, AFTER THIS
20-YEAR-OLD, KATE LEAKLY, WAS
TRAGICALLY KILLED BY A DRUNK
DRIVER.
THAT TRANSPLANT SAVED ALYSSA'S
LIFE.
AND A FEW YEARS LATER, ALYSSA
MET KATE'S FAMILY, AND THE
RESULT WAS INCREDIBLY MOVING.
>> ALYSSA DECIDED TO MEET KATE'S
FAMILY.
OVER THE WEEKEND, THEY MADE THE
DRIVE TO ILLINOIS.
WHEN THEY GOT THERE, KATE'S
PARENTS AND SISTER WERE WAITING.
FINALLY, TWO FAMILIES BONDED BY
A SPECIAL GIFT MET FACE TO FACE.
>> IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> ALYSSA CAME WITH HER OWN
GIFT, A STUFFED TEDDY BEAR FOR
THE MOTHER TO KEEP WITH A SOUND.
>> SO, THEY MADE A RECORDING OF
MY HEARTBEAT WITH A STETHOSCOPE,
AND WE DECIDED TO GIVE THAT TO
HER SO SHE CAN KEEP HER
DAUGHTER'S HEART WITH HER.
THAT'S YOUR DAUGHTER'S
HEARTBEAT.
>> JUST TO HEAR HER HEARTBEAT, I
CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.
>> John: THAT IS AMAZING.
AND LET'S ALL AGREE, ALYSSA
ABSOLUTELY NAILED THAT GIFT.
THAT'S ABOUT AS THOUGHTFUL AS
GIFT-GIVING GETS.
IT'S CERTAINLY BETTER THAN WHAT
I WOULD HAVE DONE: DESPERATELY
LOOK AT HALLMARK CARDS AND THEN
ACCIDENTALLY BUY ONE THAT SAYS
"HAPPY GRADUATION."
THE POINT IS, WE ALL KNOW
DONATING ORGANS SAVES LIVES.
AND GIVING YOUR BODY TO SCIENCE
CAN SAVE AND ENHANCE THEM, TOO.
BUT WHAT WE CURRENTLY DO WITH
THOSE GIFTS IS BROKEN.
FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE DYING
WAITING FOR ORGANS THAT COULD BE
COMING, BUT AREN'T.
AND ONE OF THEM, SADLY, IS
TONYA INGRAM, WHO DIED LAST
YEAR, NEVER HAVING GOTTEN THE
TRANSPLANT THAT SHE WAS WAITING
FOR.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO?
WELL, FOR ORGANS, WE NEED TO
RAISE THE STANDARDS OF HOW THE
SYSTEM OPERATES.
AND THERE'S ACTUALLY SOME GOOD
NEWS ON THAT FRONT FROM -- AND I
CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO SAY
THIS -- THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION.
IT ACTUALLY PUT A RULE IN PLACE
THAT PROVIDES AN
OBJECTIVE-RATHER THAN
SELF-REPORTED-METRIC FOR
MEASURING THE PERFORMANCE OF
OPOs.
AND STARTING IN 2026, OPOs WHO
FALL BELOW A CERTAIN STANDARD,
WILL LOSE THEIR CONTRACT.
IT'S ONE OF EXACTLY TWO GOOD
THINGS WE GOT FROM THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION, ALONGSIDE THIS
SPECTACULAR GAY RABBIT.
NOW, THAT NEW RULE IS NOT
PERFECT.
SOME EXPERTS WORRY THE STANDARDS
MIGHT PUNISH GOOD OPOs BY NOT
PROPERLY ADJUSTING FOR THINGS
THAT AREN'T IN THEIR CONTROL,
WHILE ALSO ALLOWING STRUGGLING
OPOs AN OPPORTUNITY TO GAME THE
SYSTEM.
ONE PARTICULAR WORRY IS THE
SO-CALLED "PANCREAS EXCEPTION,"
WHICH LETS OPOs CLAIM CREDIT FOR
PANCREASES THAT AREN'T
TRANSPLANTED, BUT ARE RECOVERED
FOR RESEARCH.
IT'S NOT A GREAT SIGN THAT ONE
UNDERPERFORMING OPO IN OHIO,
LIFEBANC, WENT FROM RECOVERING
ONE PANCREAS FOR RESEARCH THE
YEAR BEFORE THE NEW STANDARDS
WERE RELEASED, TO 151 SO FAR
THIS YEAR.
ALSO, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, "THE
PANCREAS EXCEPTION" SOUNDS LIKE
A DIRECT-TO-DVD THRILLER FROM
2003 STARRING NICHOLAS CAGE.
AS FOR UNOS, THIS PAST
SEPTEMBER, PRESIDENT BIDEN
SIGNED A BILL THAT COULD SPLIT
UP ITS CONTRACT AND ALLOW
OTHERS, INCLUDING FOR-PROFIT
COMPANIES, TO COMPETE FOR PARTS
OF THE SERVICES IT NOW PROVIDES.
WILL THAT IMPROVE THE EFFICIENCY
OF OUR NATIONAL SYSTEM?
LET'S HOPE SO, BUT THE JURY'S
CURRENTLY OUT.
AS FOR WHOLE BODIES DONATED FOR
RESEARCH, THERE'S A LAW AWAITING
A VOTE IN CONGRESS RIGHT NOW
THAT WOULD ENSURE DONATED BODIES
ARE NOT UNKNOWINGLY CONTRIBUTED
TO A FOR-PROFIT INDUSTRY, WHICH
SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.
BUT EVEN AS WE'RE WAITING FOR
THESE LONG OVERDUE IMPROVEMENTS,
LET ME BE VERY CLEAR ABOUT
SOMETHING HERE: I'M AN ORGAN
DONOR.
WHEN I DIE AND SOMEONE IS IN
NEED OF THESE SUB-PAR ORGANS,
THEY CAN HAVE AT 'EM!
AND NOTHING THAT WE'VE
RESEARCHED OR COVERED TONIGHT,
HOWEVER UNPLEASANT IT'S BEEN,
HAS CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT THAT
DECISION.
AND WHILE PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T
MIND BEING A SKELETON DOING A
BACKFLIP IN A MUSEUM, I KNOW
THAT MY FAMILY MIGHT HAVE SOME
OBJECTIONS TO THAT.
SO, IF YOU WANT TO, AND YOU
HAVEN'T ALREADY, YOU SHOULD SIGN
UP TO DONATE YOUR ORGANS -- YOU
CAN DO THAT AT RegisterMe.org.
IF WANT TO LOOK INTO BEING A
LIVING KIDNEY DONOR, YOU CAN
LEARN MORE AT OrganDonor.gov.
AND WHETHER YOU WANT TO DONATE
YOUR ORGANS, OR YOUR WHOLE BODY,
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE A
CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FAMILY
NOW ABOUT IT.
AND I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY TO TALK
TO THEM ABOUT THIS -- OR INDEED,
ANYTHING.
BUT IT -- IT IS REALLY
IMPORTANT.
BECAUSE REMEMBER, LIVES ARE
HANGING IN THE BALANCE HERE.
THESE DONATIONS ARE IMMENSELY
GENEROUS GIFTS.
AND WE ALL DESERVE A SYSTEM
THAT'S WORTHY OF THAT
GENEROSITY.
ONE THAT OPERATES WITH
EFFICIENCY, SAVES AS MANY LIVES
AS POSSIBLE, AND THAT, AT THE
VERY LEAST, ENSURES EVERY HEART
MAKES ITS AIRLINE CONNECTION,
AND NOBODY'S BODY UNEXPECTEDLY
WINDS UP SLICED AND DICED IN A
TWO-STAR BUSINESS HOTEL.
IT'S JUST NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK.
THAT IS OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
AND NOW, I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH A
FEW MORE GLORIOUS SECONDS OF THE
MOST INTENSE TRAINING VIDEO EVER
PRODUCED.
>> 911 WAS CALLED, WHO WAS THE
FIRST PERSON THAT WAS NOTIFIED?
>> YEAH, SHE WAS CONTACTED
FIRST.
YEAH, YOU THINK SHE HAD
ANY NERVE TO CALL ME ABOUT
ANYTHING?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I CALLED YOU.
I CALLED YOU SEVERAL --
IT'S MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER
YOUR GODDAMN PHONE?
[OVERLAPPING ARGUING]
>> ALL RIGHT, STOP!
IT'S GETTING A LITTLE HEAVY IN
HERE.
YOU DOING OKAY?
♪ ♪