WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR JOINING US.
IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK, FROM
TRUMP APPARENTLY FALLING ASLEEP
DURING HIS HUSH MONEY TRIAL TO
TESLA RECALLING ALL CYBERTRUCKS
THANKS TO A FAULTY ACCELERATOR
PEDAL, MEANING THE LIST OF
THINGS THAT CAN BREAK A
CYBERTRUCK NOW INCLUDES "DRIVING
IT."
AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, THERE
CONTINUED TO BE PROTESTS OVER
THE WAR IN GAZA.
THIS WEEK, PROTESTORS SHUT DOWN
THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, AND IN
CHICAGO, BLOCKED THE ROAD TO
O'HARE AIRPORT, LEADING TO
COVERAGE LIKE THIS.
SOME MISSED THEIR FLIGHTS
BECAUSE OF THE TRAFFIC FROM THE
PROTEST.
I'M GONNA MISS MY FLIGHT,
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
IT'S-- IT'S WRONG.
IT'S WRONG.
I HOPE THE PROTESTERS ARE PUT IN
JAIL.
I MEAN, IT'S...
THE CAUSE IS MAYBE RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, ONE SIDE IS-- THERE'S
TWO SIDES TO EVERY SITUATION.
BUT IT'S NOT THE WAY TO DO IT.
THEY'RE NOT GAINING ANY FANS.
OKAY.
FIRST, QUICK TRAVEL TIP:
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA MISS
YOUR FLIGHT, MAYBE TRY RUNNING
TO THE GATE INSTEAD OF STOPPING
TO TALK TO THE PRESS.
BUT I DO GET THAT IT'S ANNOYING.
ALTHOUGH, FOR THE RECORD,
PROTEST IS KIND OF MEANT TO BE
DISRUPTIVE-- IT'S A LITTLE BIT
THE POINT.
AS FOR "THE CAUSE IS MAYBE
RIGHT," THAT'S PUTTING IT
MILDLY.
BECAUSE THE SITUATION IN GAZA IS
HORRIFIC.
AT LEAST 34,000 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
KILLED, MOST OF THEM WOMEN AND
CHILDREN.
MANY ISRAELIS ARE ALSO
PROTESTING THEIR GOVERNMENT'S
ACTIONS, WHICH HAVE-- FOR ALL
THE BLOODSHED THEY'VE CAUSED--
FAILED TO SECURE THE FREEDOM OF
THE REMAINING HOSTAGES.
AND YET, THE U.S. CONTINUES TO
SUPPLY ISRAEL WITH FUNDING AND
ARMS FOR ALL THIS, EVEN AS GAZA
SINKS INTO FAMINE.
IF THAT'S NOT WORTH PROTESTING,
I'M NOT SURE WHAT IS.
AND TO BE FAIR, EVEN SOME OF
THOSE DISRUPTED PASSENGERS
SEEMED TO CONCEDE, WHEN PRESSED
EVEN SLIGHTLY, THAT THE
INCONVENIENCE WASN'T THAT
SEVERE.
I THINK CHICAGO POLICE
DEPARTMENT FAILED.
THEY SHOULD'VE ANTICIPATED THIS,
THEY SHOULD'VE KNOWN ABOUT IT IN
ADVANCE.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
AND WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO
YOU AND YOUR FLIGHT NOW?
I'LL JUST GET ANOTHER ONE.
IT'LL BE FINE.
YEAH, IT'LL BE FINE.
THAT DEESCALATED FAST.
ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT WAS ALWAYS
GOING TO, BECAUSE WHAT KIND OF
QUESTION IS "WHAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN TO YOU AND YOUR FLIGHT?"
WHAT ELSE IS HE GOING TO SAY?
"EVER SEEN "THE TERMINAL"?
YEAH.
I HAVE TO LIVE HERE NOW."
AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING EVERY
PROTEST HAS BEEN UNIVERSALLY
WELL-EXECUTED.
BUT IT'S NOTABLE THE DEGREE TO
WHICH DEMONSTRATIONS CONCERNING
PALESTINE TEND TO GET SHUT DOWN,
AND HOW COMFORTABLE SOME HAVE
HAPPILY ADVOCATED VIOLENCE
AGAINST PROTESTORS.
JUST THIS WEEK, SENATOR TOM
COTTON-- A MAN WITH, I THINK
IT'S FAIR TO SAY, ENTIRELY TOO
MUCH NECK-- CALLED IN TO FOX
NEWS TO SAY THIS.
IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS
HAPPENED IN ARKANSAS, ON A
BRIDGE THERE, LET'S JUST SAY I
THINK THERE'D BE A LOT OF VERY
WET CRIMINALS THAT HAVE BEEN
TOSSED OVERBOARD.
I'D ENCOURAGE MOST PEOPLE,
ANYWHERE, IF THEY GET STUCK
BEHIND CRIMINALS LIKE THIS, WHO
ARE TRYING TO BLOCK TRAFFIC, TO
TAKE MATTERS INTO THEIR OWN
HANDS.
OKAY, IT'S THE LEAST
IMPORTANT PART OF THIS, BUT: YOU
DON'T SAY OVERBOARD WHEN
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A BRIDGE.
YOU'RE THINKING OF A BOAT,
BITCH.
IF YOU'RE GONNA ADVOCATE FOR
VIGILANTE BRIDGE MURDER, AT
LEAST GET THE TERMINOLOGY RIGHT.
AND IT'S NOT JUST PROTESTORS
FEELING PRESSURE.
EVEN MUSLIMS WHO'VE EXPRESSED NO
PUBLIC VIEWS ON GAZA HAVE COME
UNDER ATTACK.
AND FOR A HIGH-PROFILE EXAMPLE
OF THAT, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN
WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING TO
ADEEL MANGI, ONE OF JOE BIDEN'S
NOMINEES TO THE FEDERAL BENCH.
HE'S A PAKISTANI-AMERICAN WHO'D
BE THE FIRST MUSLIM APPOINTEE TO
THE FEDERAL APPELLATE COURTS--
IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WE
REFER TO AS A "HISTORIC FIRST"
BECAUSE IT SOUNDS A LOT NICER
THAN "WE DIDN'T CONSIDER MUSLIMS
FOR THIS JOB UNTIL SHOCKINGLY
RECENTLY."
MANGI IS A RESPECTED ATTORNEY,
UNANIMOUSLY RATED AS "WELL
QUALIFIED" BY THE ABA.
HIS NOMINATION'S BEEN SUPPORTED
BY ALL THESE ORGANIZATIONS,
AMONG OVER 100 OTHERS, AND HE'S
DONE PRO BONO WORK IN CASES
INVOLVING MUSLIM AND LGBTQ
RIGHTS.
BUT IN HIS CONFIRMATION HEARING
LAST DECEMBER, REPUBLICANS
DIDN'T ASK ABOUT ANY OF THAT.
INSTEAD, THEY DID THIS.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT ZIONIST
SETTLER COLONIALISM WAS A
PROVOCATION THAT JUSTIFIED
HAMAS'S ATROCITY AGAINST JEWS IN
ISRAEL?
DOES ISRAEL HAVE A RIGHT TO
EXIST?
MY QUESTION IS SIMPLE, DO YOU
CONDEMN THIS EVENT THAT WAS
CELEBRATING PALESTINIAN ISLAMIC
JIHAD?
YES OR NO?
THAT IS A SHOCKING
DISPLAY OF ISLAMOPHOBIA, EVEN
FOR THESE THREE, SOME OF THE
LEAST LIKABLE PEOPLE IN HUMAN
HISTORY, AND-- PERHAPS
SCIENTIFICALLY-- THE ULTIMATE
NIGHTMARE BLUNT ROTATION.
I'M SURE YOU CAN THINK OF OTHER
PEOPLE TO PUT INTO THAT LIST,
BUT WHO ARE YOU TAKING OUT?
EXACTLY.
AND I SHOULD EXPLAIN WHAT THOSE
QUESTIONS WERE BASED ON, BECAUSE
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
VERY BASICALLY, MANGI WAS ON AN
ADVISORY BOARD FOR THIS CENTER
AT RUTGERS UNIVERSITY.
AND THOSE SENATORS WERE
GRANDSTANDING ABOUT SOME
SPEAKERS WHO'D BEEN INVITED TO
ITS EVENTS, INCLUDING ONE
MARKING THE ANNIVERSARY OF 9/11.
SOMETHING THAT PROMPTED THIS
EXTRAORDINARY QUESTION.
IS THIS THE WAY YOU CELEBRATE
9/11?
HAVE I SAID ANYTHING THAT WAS
INACCURATE?
YES, SENATOR.
YES, YOU HAVE.
YOU JUST ASKED A MUSLIM MAN HOW
HE CELEBRATES 9/11, AND UNLESS
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT'S
ALSO HIS BIRTHDAY, THAT'S
COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE.
THE QUESTIONING AROUND THAT
EVENT WAS SO RELENTLESS, MANGI
FELT HE HAD TO MAKE TWO
COMPELLING POINTS.
NUMBER ONE, ON 9/11, I WAS IN
NEW YORK, I SAW WHAT HAPPENED.
IT WAS MY CITY THAT WAS
ATTACKED.
NUMBER TWO, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF
THIS EVENT PRIOR TO TODAY.
IT WAS NEVER BROUGHT TO THE
ADVISORY BOARD, WHICH MET ONCE A
YEAR TO TALK ABOUT ACADEMIC
ISSUES.
THAT'S A PRETTY SOLID
ANSWER.
AND CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE
REPUBLICANS, WHO'VE OUTED MANGI
AS TWO OF THE MOST SYMPATHETIC
A NEW YORKER
WHO WAS ATTACKED ON 9/11," AND
"A GUY WHO SIGNED UP TO DO THE
BARE MINIMUM AT A COLLEGE
FUNCTION."
UH, I CAN'T REALLY MEET MOST
WEEKS, OR EVER, BUT IF YOU NEED
SOMEONE TO SHOW UP ONCE A YEAR
AND NOD OFF IN AN OFFICE CHAIR,
I'M YOUR GUY FOR THAT.
THE HEARING WAS A DISGRACE.
AND IT'S NOT JUST ME SAYING THAT
EVEN THE ADL-- AN
ORGANIZATION NOT RETICENT ABOUT
LEVELING CHARGES OF ANTISEMITISM
DEFENDED MANGI, SAYING THE
SENATORS' QUESTIONS, APPEAR TO
HAVE BEEN MOTIVATED BY BIAS
TOWARDS HIS RELIGION" AND THAT
"IT WAS PROFOUNDLY WRONG."
AND YET, THOSE REPUBLICANS STILL
REFUSED TO VOTE FOR HIM, EVEN AS
OUTSIDE GROUPS LAUNCHED BONKERS
ATTACKS ON HIM LIKE THIS AD,
WHICH AIMED TO PRESSURE
DEMOCRATIC SENATORS TO FOLLOW
SUIT.
PRESIDENT BIDEN WANTS TO
REMAKE THE COURTS WITH THE MOST
EXTREME JUDGES HE CAN FIND.
BUT ANTISEMITE ADEEL MANGI MIGHT
BE THE WORST OF ALL.
MANGI'S ORGANIZATION BLAMED
AMERICA FOR THE SEPTEMBER 11TH
TERROR ATTACKS AND HAS HOSTED
SPEAKERS WITH TERRORIST
CONNECTIONS, INCLUDING A
CONVICTED TERRORIST.
MANGI'S ORGANIZATION EVEN BLAMED
ISRAEL FOR THE HAMAS TERROR
ATTACK ON OCTOBER 7TH.
TELL JON TESTER TO VOTE NO ON
GIVING ANTISEMITE ADEEL MANGI A
LIFETIME POSITION IN OUR COURTS.
WOW.
BETWEEN THE GROSS FEARMONGERING
AND THE ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF 9/11,
THAT AD FEELS LIKE YOU TOLD AN
AI PROGRAM TO MAKE SOMETHING
THAT'D GIVE THE AVERAGE FOX NEWS
VIEWER A HEART ATTACK, AN
ERECTION, OR BOTH.
ALTHOUGH THERE ARE SOME UNFORCED
ERRORS IN THERE, LIKE INCLUDING
THE TWEET THEY WERE REFERENCING,
WHICH CLEARLY DOESN'T SAY
ANYTHING LIKE WHAT THEY JUST
CLAIMED, AND SAYING "THE MOST
EXTREME JUDGES HE CAN FIND" OVER
PICTURES OF THESE TWO.
AND COME ON.
THESE ARE THE FACES OF TWO
PEOPLE WHOSE HOBBIES ARE
"BOOKS."
THOSE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHOSE
FAVORITE VACATION DESTINATION IS
"BOOKS."
THEY LOOK LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL
THEY WERE VOTED MOST LIKELY TO
"BOOKS!"
THEY LOOK LIKE IF YOU ASKED THEM
IF YOU COULD BRING ANYTHING TO A
POT LUCK DINNER THEY'D SAY "A
VEGETABLE PLATTER."
THEY DON'T EAT BOOKS.
THEY KNOW YOU CAN'T EAT BOOKS.
BUT BECAUSE DEMOCRATS HOLD THE
SENATE, THE CONFIRMATION
SHOULD'VE BEEN A NON-ISSUE.
UNFORTUNATELY, NOT ALL DEMOCRATS
ARE HOLDING FIRM.
BECAUSE WHILE THEY MAY NOT HAVE
EMBRACED THE ISLAMOPHOBIC
ATTACKS, SOME HAVE GOTTEN
SUCKERED IN BY A DIFFERENT SORT
OF RACIST DOG-WHISTLE INSTEAD.
DEMOCRATS AGAINST MANGI WORRY
ABOUT HIS TIES TO CONTROVERSIAL
ORGANIZATIONS, INCLUDING THE
ALLIANCE OF FAMILIES FOR
JUSTICE.
THE NEW JERSEY STATE PATROLMEN'S
BENEVOLENT ASSOCIATION SAYS THE
GROUP CALLS FOR, QUOTE, "COP
KILLERS TO BE FREED FROM
PRISON."
THAT IS A CONCERN OF MINE,
NOT ONLY AS A FORMER PROSECUTOR,
BUT SOMEBODY WHO'S MARRIED TO
LAW ENFORCEMENT.
OKAY, FIRST, I'M NOT
SURE WHY YOU'RE BRINGING UP WHO
YOU'RE MARRIED TO.
YOU COULD BE MARRIED TO RONALD
MCDONALD AND IT WOULDN'T BE
RELEVANT TO THE SITUATION AT
HAND.
IT'D CERTAINLY RAISE OTHER
QUESTIONS, LIKE-- WHY RONALD
WHEN GRIMACE IS UNQUESTIONABLY
HOTTER?
HOW'D YOU END UP WITH A CLOWN
DRESSED LIKE A TRAFFIC CONE
INSTEAD OF SIX FEET OF PURE
PURPLE SEX?
WHEN RONALD IS TALKING ABOUT
FRIES OR WHATEVER DOES YOUR MIND
DRIFT TO THIS OBLONG STUNNER
WITH AN ASS THAT GOES ALL THE
WAY OUT?
BUT AGAIN, THAT'S A DISTRACTION
FROM THE KEY ISSUE HERE.
AND THAT IS THAT, AS WITH THE
ISLAMOPHOBIC ATTACKS ON MANGI,
THE EVIDENCE FOR CLAIMS THAT
HE'S SOMEHOW "ANTI-POLICE" ARE
LAUGHABLY THIN.
IT'S YET MORE "SIX DEGREES OF
SEPARATION" NONSENSE, AGAIN
FOCUSED ON AN ADVISORY BOARD HE
SERVES ON FOR THIS GROUP THAT
CALLS FOR THE RELEASE OF AN
85-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH DEMENTIA
WHO'D BEEN CONVICTED OF KILLING
A POLICE OFFICER IN 1973, A
DECISION I'M ASSUMING MANGI HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH, BECAUSE THE
BOARD-- FUN FACT-- HAS NEVER
EVEN MET.
AND YET, NOT ONLY IS CORTEZ
MASTO REFUSING TO SUPPORT MANGI
OVER THIS ACCUSATION, SO IS HER
FELLOW NEVADA SENATOR, JACKY
ROSEN.
AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS, JOE
FUCKING MANCHIN IS SAYING HE'S
PROBABLY A "NO" VOTE, TOO,
SAYING, "IF MY DEMOCRATIC
COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS CAN'T GET
ONE REPUBLICAN VOTE, DON'T COUNT
ON ME."
"I'M NOT LEAVING THIS PLACE
UNLESS I CAN PRACTICE WHAT I
PREACH AND I'M PREACHING,
BASICALLY BIPARTISANSHIP."
WHICH SOUNDS BENIGN, UNTIL YOU
THINK ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DEALING
WITH HERE.
BECAUSE AT A MOMENT WHEN THIS
MAN IS BEING TARGETED WITH A
BIGOTED SMEAR CAMPAIGN, YOU
CAN'T BE OFFERING TO MEET THOSE
BIGOTS IN THE MIDDLE.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO THAT, GUESS
WHAT THAT MAKES YOU?
AND TO BIDENS CREDITS, DAVE
STOOD BY HIM.
AND MANCHIN'S ARGUMENT SPEAKS TO
WHAT CAN BE SO DISPIRITING ABOUT
OUR CURRENT POLITICS.
BECAUSE WHILE THERE'S NOTHING
FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG WITH
CIVILITY AND COMPROMISE, IT DOES
DEPEND ON WHO YOU'RE BEING CIVIL
TO, AND WHAT YOU'RE COMPROMISING
WITH.
BECAUSE REMEMBER, THIS IS A
MOMENT WHEN ONE OF THE LEADERS
OF THE SENATE CAMPAIGN AGAINST
MANGI IS HAPPILY ENCOURAGING
PEOPLE TO "TAKE THINGS INTO
THEIR OWN HANDS" WHEN IT COMES
TO THOSE THEY DON'T AGREE WITH.
IT'S
IT'S PRETTY SCARY TO THINK THAT
IN THE NAME OF "BUILDING
BRIDGES", SOME DEMOCRATS APPEAR
TO BE PERFECTLY FINE
COMPROMISING WITH
REPUBLICANS WILLING TO THROW
PROTESTORS OFF OF THEM.
AND NOW THIS.
AND NOW,
A TRIBUTE TO CNBC ON ITS 35TH
ANNIVERSARY.
IS A MOMENTOUS DAY FOR US
HERE AT CNBC AS WE MARK OUR 35TH
ANNIVERSARY.
A HEARTFELT AND VERY LARGE
THANK YOU TO ALL OF US THAT'S
GOT US HERE.
AND IT'S TAKEN A VILLAGE.
HOW IS A PHONE THAT'S AN MP3
PLAYER TECHNOLOGICALLY
INNOVATIVE?
HOW IS A CRISIS REALLY A
CRISIS?
OR IT'S A PROBLEM BLOWN OUT OF
PROPORTION?
TO ME, IT'S REASONABLE-- I
DON'T USUALLY DO THIS, TO
COMPARE IT TO STEVE JOBS,
JPMORGAN OF THIS GENERATION.
SAM BANKMAN-FRIED NEEDS.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS THE
GENERIC CLUE BUT MAYBE WE'D BE
BETTER OFF WITH THE GIVING IT TO
EVERYBODY AND IN A MONTH THEY'D
BE OVER.
I SEE A NEW BOEING, I SEE
STRAIGHT LINE, I THINK THAT THIS
IS THE YEAR TO FLY A BOEING.
IF I CALL YOU A TOSS, WHAT'S
A TOSS OR?
DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING?
I HAD NO IDEA.
I MEAN, IT'S NO NEGATIVE BUT IS IT
SO NEGATIVE WE CAN'T SAY ON
TELEVISION?
DO YOU KNOW, JOE?
WHAT YOU HAVE EUROS IN
IRELAND?
WHY WOULDN'T WE HAVE EUROS IN
IRELAND?
I WOULD USE THE POUND.
I'M DOING WHAT MAYBE YOU
SHOULD DO.
LOST PEOPLE MONEY, RICK.
YOU'RE DOING A DISSERVICE TO
THE VIEWER BECAUSE THE VIEWER'S
NEED TO UNDERSTAFFED GO >> YOUR
DOING A DISSERVICE TO THE
VIEWER, YOU ARE!
YOU ARE!
MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
UFOS.
THEY'VE BROUGHT US GREAT ALBUM
ART, CLASSIC MOVIE MOMENTS, AND
OF COURSE, HUGH JACKMAN.
I CAN'T PROVE IT YET.
BUT I'M CLOSE.
LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE REPORTED
SEEING UFOS-- FROM KE$HA, TO
RUSSELL CROWE, TO EVEN THIS GUY.
I WAS GATHERED IN A-- IN A
SCHOOLYARD WITH ABOUT 20 OTHER
MEN, AND WE SAW A-- A BRIGHT
LIGHT APPEAR IN THE DISTANT
WESTERN SKIES, AND IT GOT CLOSER
AND CLOSER, AND WHEN IT WAS JUST
ABOVE THE TREETOPS, IT CHANGED
COLOR, AND THEN IT STAYED THERE
FOR A WHILE, AND THEN IT
DISAPPEARED INTO THE DISTANCE.
AND NONE OF US COULD EVER
IMAGINE WHAT IT WAS, AND I STILL
DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS.
YOU KNOW, BETWEEN THE
FOLKSY, RAMBLING STORY AND THE
GOOFBALL SMILE, HE KIND OF
REMINDS YOU OF JOE BIDEN THERE,
DOESN'T HE?
THE ONLY THING BIDEN WOULD'VE
DONE DIFFERENT WAS NAME EACH OF
THE 20 MEN HE SAW THE UFO WITH.
"THERE WAS CORN POP, FLOPPY
JEFF, WET DOUG, MEXICAN RICK,
AND A BUNCH OF OTHER NAMES MY
ADVISERS TOLD ME TO STOP SAYING
OUT LOUD BACK IN 2004."
BUT THE POINT IS, JIMMY CARTER
SAW A UFO.
AND WHILE SKEPTICS PUSHED BACK,
SAYING IT WAS PROBABLY A SPACE
CLOUD OR VENUS AND THAT "NO
OTHER OBJECT GENERATES AS MANY
UFO REPORTS AS THE PLANET
VENUS," CARTER DOUBLED DOWN,
SAYING "WE KNOW WHAT VENUS LOOKS
LIKE.
IT WAS NOT VENUS."
AND HE'S RIGHT.
EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT VENUS LOOKS
LIKE.
NOT THAT, OF COURSE, BECAUSE
THAT'S TITAN, ONE OF SATURN'S
MOONS.
IT DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE
THE REAL VENUS...
WHICH THAT ALSO ISN'T, THAT'S
JUPITER'S MOON IO.
I GOT YOU SO GOOD!
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE,
BECAUSE WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
SPACE, AND YOU WERE WRONG.
THE FACT IS, THOUGH, a LOT OF
PEOPLE THINK THEY'VE SEEN
SOMETHING IN THE SKY.
IN FACT, 16% OF AMERICANS
SAY THEY'VE PERSONALLY WITNESSED
SOMETHING THEY THOUGHT WAS A
UFO.
AND RIGHT OFF THE BAT, LET'S
THIS CAN BE A
DIFFICULT SUBJECT TO TALK ABOUT,
BECAUSE UFOS TEND TO GET
DISCUSSED IN ONE OF TWO WAYS.
THE FIRST IS "WILDLY
SPECULATIVE," LIKE THIS.
THIS RENAISSANCE PAINTING OF
MADONNA AND CHILD SEEMS
PERFECTLY NORMAL.
HOWEVER, CLOSER INSPECTION
REVEALS A STRANGE CRAFT HOVERING
IN THE BACKGROUND WITH AN
EARTH-BOUND OBSERVER WITNESSING
THE EVENT.
LOOK, FAR BE IT FROM ME
TO QUIBBLE WITH THE VOICE OF
"UNSOLVED MYSTERIES," BUT THAT'S
A PAINTING, NOT A PHOTOGRAPH.
STUFF IN THEM CAN BE REAL OR
MADE-UP, AND GIVEN THAT'S A
PAINTING OF THE VIRGIN MARY, I'M
GUESSING IT'S THE LATTER.
THE SECOND WAY UFOS TEND TO BE
DISCUSSED IS WITH BORDERLINE
CONTEMPT, LIKE IN THIS 1973 NEWS
REPORT.
THERE WERE MORE REPORTS TODAY
OF UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS.
REPORTS FROM MINNESOTA, FLORIDA,
CALIFORNIA, LOUISIANA, AND OTHER
PLACES.
A MAN IN COLUMBUS, OHIO TOOK
THESE PHOTOGRAPHS OF FOUR
STRANGE LIGHTS IN THE SKY
WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
THEY WERE SEEN BY SCORES OF
PEOPLE.
TWO WOMEN IN TEXAS SAID THEY SAW
AN OBJECT WITH THE LETTERS "UFO"
PAINTED ON THE SIDE.
WELL, I'M GLAD HE'S
HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME LAUGHING
AT THEM.
AND I'M GUESSING IT WOULD STAY
FUNNY, RIGHT UP UNTIL THAT UFO
OPENS UP AND AN ALIEN LABELED
"ALIEN" HITS YOU WITH A DEATH
RAY LABELED "DEATH RAY."
BUT IN RECENT YEARS, YOU
MIGHT'VE SEEN UFOS GETTING SOME
MORE MAINSTREAM ATTENTION--
STARTING WITH THIS REPORT IN
2017.
THESE HAUNTING IMAGES, PART
OF A BOMBSHELL FIRST ADMISSION
BY THE MILITARY OF A GOVERNMENT
PROGRAM INVESTIGATING SIGHTINGS
OF UFOS.
LOOK AT THAT THING.
IT'S ROTATING.
THIS MYSTERIOUS BLACK OBJECT
SPOTTED OFF THE COAST OF SAN
DIEGO BY NAVY FIGHTER PILOTS IN
2004.
MY GOSH.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
MORE SURPRISING THERE, THE UFO,
OR THE PILOT RESPONDING TO IT
WITH "MY GOSH."
IN THAT SITUATION, I MIGHT HAVE
GONE WITH "HOLY LIVING SHIT," OR
"JESUS BACKFLIPPING CHRIST," BUT
CREDIT TO HIM FOR KEEPING IT
G-RATED.
THERE MIGHT BE KIDS WATCHING
THIS NAVY FOOTAGE.
THAT STORY WAS THE BEGINNING OF
A CASCADE OF REVELATIONS--
INCLUDING THE DOD REVEALING THAT
IT HAD 11 REPORTS OF DOCUMENTED
INSTANCES IN WHICH PILOTS
REPORTED NEAR MISSES WITH UFO'S.
AND A FEW YEARS BACK, CONGRESS
EVEN HELD ITS FIRST PUBLIC
HEARING ON UFOS IN MORE THAN 50
YEARS.
SO IF THE SUBJECT IS THIS
UBIQUITOUS, WITH SUCH MAJOR
QUESTIONS BEING ASKED, NOW MIGHT
BE A GOOD TIME TO-- AND I CAN'T
BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO SAY THIS--
WHAT WE KNOW,
WHAT WE DON'T KNOW, AND SOME OF
THE PROBLEMS WITH HOW WE'VE GONE
ABOUT TRYING TO FIND OUT MORE.
AND RIGHT UP FRONT, LET ME SAY:
TALKING ABOUT UFOS DOESN'T
NECESSARILY MEAN YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT ALIENS.
UFOS ARE SIMPLY OBJECTS THAT ARE
UNIDENTIFIED.
THAT'S IT.
MANY RESEARCHERS ACTUALLY PREFER
THE TERM UAP, FOR "UNIDENTIFIED
ANOMALOUS PHENOMENA," POSSIBLY
TO AVOID THE WHOLE ALIEN
CONNOTATION.
BECAUSE WHILE YOU CAN BELIEVE
ALIENS EXIST OR NOT, WHEN IT
COMES TO UFOS, BELIEF DOESN'T
REALLY COME INTO IT.
WHATEVER THEY ARE, PEOPLE ARE
SEEING THEM.
THAT POSTER IN MULDER'S OFFICE
SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID, "I WANT TO
BELIEVE," IT SHOULD'VE SAID,
"BELIEVE, SHMELIEVE, WHAT THE
FUCK IS THAT THING."
AND THE FACT IS, UFO SIGHTINGS
LONG PREDATE ANY CONTEMPORARY
ASSOCIATIONS WITH
EXTRATERRESTRIALS.
FOR AS LONG AS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
AROUND, THEY'VE BEEN SEEING
WEIRD THINGS THEY CAN'T EXPLAIN.
ANCIENT ROMAN AND CHINESE TEXTS
SPEAK OF PEOPLE SEEING
FIREBALLS, SPEARS, SOLDIERS,
SHIPS, AND CHARIOTS FLOATING
ABOVE THEM.
PLUS, THERE WERE SIGHTINGS NEAR
ROME IN 218 B.C., AND IN GERMANY
IN 1561.
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING
THAT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH, BECAUSE
EVERYONE KNOWS 16TH CENTURY
GERMANY WAS SUFFERING FROM A
RAPID INCREASE IN POPULATION
COMBINED WITH AN INCREASE IN
GRAIN PRICES, SO A LOT OF
GERMANS WERE TRIPPING BALLS DUE
TO STARVATION.
EVERYONE WENT THROUGH THEIR
GERMAN CONFESSIONAL AGE
OBSESSION IN THEIR EARLY TEENS.
IT'S NOT NEWS.
BUT OUR MODERN CONCEPTION OF
"FLYING SAUCERS" TOOK OFF IN
1947, WHEN PRIVATE PILOT KENNETH
ARNOLD SPOTTED 9 ODDLY SHAPED
OBJECTS WHILE FLYING PAST MOUNT
RAINIER IN WASHINGTON.
IT WASN'T UNTIL 1947 WHEN A
PRIVATE PILOT REPORTED SEEING A
GROUP OF PIE PLATE-LIKE OBJECTS
FLYING NEAR MOUNT RAINIER THAT
THE TERM "FLYING SAUCER" ENTERED
THE VOCABULARY AND FUELED THE
IMAGINATIONS OF MOVIE PRODUCERS.
NOW, THAT'S ALMOST
RIGHT.
ARNOLD DIDN'T DESCRIBE SEEING
FLYING SAUCERS, THOUGH-- WHAT
HE ACTUALLY SAID WAS, THE
OBJECTS "FLEW LIKE THEY TAKE A
SAUCER AND THROW IT ACROSS THE
WATER."
BUT REPORTERS SHORTHANDED THAT
TO "FLYING SAUCER," AND THE NAME
STUCK.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE FASCINATING
HISTORICAL CORRECTIONS LIKE
"VIKING HELMETS DIDN'T ACTUALLY
HAVE HORNS," "NAPOLEON WASN'T
THAT SHORT," AND "GEORGE
WASHINGTON DIDN'T REALLY EXIST,
HE WAS JUST A REFLECTION OF
MOONLIGHT OFF SWAMP GAS THAT
FOOLED EARLY AMERICANS."
NOW, SKEPTICS HAVE INTRODUCED
VARIOUS THEORIES AS TO WHAT
ARNOLD MIGHT HAVE SEEN, FROM
WATER DROPLETS ON HIS AIRCRAFT
WINDOW, TO A METEOR BREAKING UP,
TO A FLOCK OF PELICANS.
AND FOR THE RECORD, MARRY, KILL,
AND OBVIOUSLY, FUCK.
DEEP MOUTHS.
WE CAN'T KNOW FOR SURE WHAT
ARNOLD SAW.
WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT HIS
ACCOUNT-- AND THE NEWS THAT
BROKE SHORTLY AFTERWARD,
SUPPOSEDLY OF A "FLYING SAUCER"
CRASHING IN ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO
KICKED OFF A PUBLIC OBSESSION
AND HUNDREDS OF UFO SIGHTINGS
BEGAN POURING IN.
JUST A MONTH AFTER ARNOLD'S
SIGHTING, A POLL ASKED
RESPONDENTS IF THEY'D HEARD OR
READ ABOUT FLYING SAUCERS, AND
90% SAID YES.
IT REACHED SUCH A FEVER PITCH
THE "L.A. TIMES" RAN THE
"FLYING 'WHATSITS'
SUPPLANT WEATHER AS NO.
1 TOPIC ANYWHERE PEOPLE MEET."
DISCUSSIONS OF UFOS STARTED
CROPPING UP EVERYWHERE, FROM
TABLOID OUTLETS, TO EVEN
DISCUSSIONS WITH NETWORK
NEWSMEN.
GOOD EVENING.
TONIGHT, WE GO AFTER A FANTASTIC
STORY.
THE STORY THAT FLYING SAUCERS
FROM OTHER WORLDS ARE VISITING
OUR PLANET, JUST AS WE ARE
EXPLORING OUTER SPACE WITH OUR
OWN ROCKET SATELLITES.
OUR GUEST IS FORMER MARINE AIR
CORPS MAJOR DONALD KEYHOE AND
HIS CAMPAIGN TO PROVE THAT
FLYING SAUCERS EXIST.
MY NAME IS MIKE WALLACE.
THE CIGARETTE IS PARLIAMENT.
WOW, I HONESTLY CAN'T
THINK OF ANYTHING MORE 1950'S
THAN INTERRUPTING YOUR NEWS
REPORT TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF
AND YOUR CIGARETTE.
IT'S JUST NOT SOMETHING YOU
COULD PULL OFF TODAY.
"MY NAME IS LESTER HOLT, AND THE
VAPE IS BUBBLEGUM MELON."
UFOS BECAME A POP-CULTURE
PHENOMENON.
IN FACT, ROSWELL HAS DONE A LOT
TO CASH IN ON ITS ASSOCIATION
WITH UFOS.
IT'S HOME TO A UFO MUSEUM, A UFO
FESTIVAL, AND ALIEN-THEMED
STREETLIGHTS.
IT EVEN HAS THE WORLD'S ONLY
UFO-THEMED MCDONALD'S-- WHICH
SOMEHOW HAS ONLY THREE AND A
HALF STARS ON YELP, DESPITE,
AGAIN, BEING A UFO-THEMED
MCDONALD'S.
THAT IS MADNESS.
I COULD GET STABBED IN THAT
MCDONALD'S AND MY YELP REVIEW
GOT STABBED IN
A UFO!
FOUR STARS."
ROSWELL HAS GONE OUT OF ITS WAY
TO MAKE ITSELF A UFO MECCA, AND
AS THIS COVERAGE FROM THE
'90s SHOWS, A LOT OF PEOPLE
MAKE THE PILGRIMAGE.
HERE, THE TOWN'S TWO UFO
MUSEUMS HAVE BECOME MAGNETS FOR
THE COMMITTED--
I HAVE BEEN TAKEN ABOARD
SPACECRAFT BY THESE TWO
GENTLEMEN.
YOU HAVE?
THE CURIOUS.
YOU THINK THEY'RE LIKE THESE
GUYS BEHIND YOU?
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
BUT I THINK THEY'D BE JUST LIKE
NORMAL PEOPLE.
THE GOVERNMENT HIDES THINGS
FROM PEOPLE.
GOVERNMENT DISTRUST.
IF THEY ARE REAL, THEY'RE
PROBABLY EVIL.
RELIGION.
IT'S JUST-- IT'S GOT TO
BE-- THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING TO IT.
ALL ARE PART OF THIS
ALL-AMERICAN MYSTERY.
MANY A NIGHT I HAVE LOOKED UP
AT THE SKY AND SAID, "COME AND
GET ME."
OKAY, HARD TO PICK A
FAVORITE PERSON THERE, FROM THE
MAN LOOKING FOR A WORD TO
DESCRIBE ALIENS AND SETTLING ON
"GENTLEMEN," TO THE GUY AT THE
END WHO'S SPENT "MANY A NIGHT"
STARING AT THE SKY AND SAYING
"COME AND GET ME."
THAT'S A MAN WHO'S RUN THE
NUMBERS AND FIGURED OUT
ABDUCTION IS CHEAPER THAN
DIVORCE.
"COME AND GET ME!
OR MY WIFE!
NOT BOTH OF US, THOUGH, THAT'S A
DEAL-BREAKER."
BUT IT'S WORTH ADDRESSING
SOMETHING THAT WOMAN SAID THERE
"THE GOVERNMENT HIDES THINGS
FROM PEOPLE."
BECAUSE, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING
OF OUR MODERN OBSESSION WITH
UFO'S, THERE'S BEEN A BELIEF
THAT OUR GOVERNMENT IS KEEPING
SOMETHING FROM US.
AND THAT MISTRUST HAS BEEN WELL
EARNED.
THE HISTORY OF THE U.S.
GOVERNMENT'S STUDY OF UFO'S IS
ONE RANGING FROM THE
UNSATISFYING, TO THE ACTIVELY
MISLEADING.
AND IT BEGAN NOT LONG AFTER THAT
FIRST "FLYING SAUCER" SIGHTING.
JUST A YEAR LATER, THE AIR FORCE
FORMED SOMETHING CALLED PROJECT
SIGN, WHICH EVALUATED 243
SIGHTINGS OVER THE COURSE OF A
YEAR AND ULTIMATELY SAID IT
COULD FIND "NO DEFINITE AND
CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE" TO PROVE OR
DISPROVE THE EXISTENCE OF ACTUAL
UNIDENTIFIED AIRCRAFT.
THAT EFFORT WAS THEN RENAMED,
PROJECT GRUDGE, WHICH EVALUATED
MORE SIGHTINGS, AND CONCLUDED
THEY DIDN'T THREATEN U.S.
SECURITY.
THAT WAS THEN FOLLOWED BY A
MASSIVE INVESTIGATION CALLED
PROJECT BLUEBOOK, WHICH TOOK 17
YEARS AND LOOKED AT MORE THAN
12,000 SIGHTINGS, FINDING NO
EVIDENCE THAT THEY WERE
EXTRATERRESTRIAL OR A SECURITY
THREAT.
AND AS YOU PROBABLY SENSED,
BECAUSE THESE WERE ALL
"MILITARY" INVESTIGATIONS,
WHETHER OR NOT THESE THINGS
POSED A THREAT WAS THE PRIMARY
CONCERN.
BUT TOWARD THE END OF PROJECT
BLUE BOOK, THE GOVERNMENT ALSO
FUNDED A PARALLEL SCIENTIFIC
INVESTIGATION KNOWN AS "THE
CONDON COMMITTEE," LED BY
PHYSICIST EDWARD CONDON.
BUT EVEN WHILE UNDERWAY, THERE
WERE SIGNS IT WASN'T EXACTLY
BEING CONDUCTED IN A SPIRIT OF
FREE INQUIRY.
CONDON WAS A RESPECTED
SCIENTIST BUT WAS HARDLY
IMPARTIAL ABOUT UFOS.
BEFORE THE STUDY EVEN BEGAN HE
SAID IN A SPEECH THAT "THE
GOVERNMENT SHOULD GET OUT OF THE
UFO BUSINESS, THERE'S NOTHING TO
IT."
HE LATER WROTE, "THE AUTHORS OF
UFO BOOKS SHOULD BE
HORSEWHIPPED."
I MEAN, HE DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE THE MOST OBJECTIVE ANALYST.
THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD DOESN'T GO
1. HYPOTHESIS.
2. HORSEWHIP ANYONE WHO
DISAGREES WITH YOU.
3. CONCLUSION.
YOU'RE THINKING OF RELIGION.
NOW UNSURPRISINGLY, CONDON'S
STUDY CONCLUDED THAT NOTHING HAS
COME FROM THE STUDY OF UFOS IN
THE PAST 21 YEARS THAT HAS ADDED
TO SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE, AND
THAT FURTHER EXTENSIVE STUDY OF
UFOS PROBABLY CANNOT BE
JUSTIFIED.
OTHER
SCIENTISTS AT THE TIME,
INCLUDING CARL SAGAN, PUSHED
BACK ON THE TONE OF CONDON'S
REPORT.
BUT HIS ATTITUDE PREVAILED, TO
THE POINT THAT, BY 1977, A
SURVEY OF OVER 1,000 SCIENTISTS
FOUND THAT A MAJORITY THOUGHT
UFOS WERE WORTHY OF FURTHER
STUDY, BUT ONLY TWO WERE WILLING
TO WAIVE ANONYMITY TO SAY SO.
BUT IT'S NOT JUST THAT THE
GOVERNMENT HASN'T COVERED ITSELF
IN GLORY, WHEN IT COMES TO
STUDYING UFOS.
IT'S ALSO ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN
COVERUPS ABOUT THEM-- THOUGH
NOT NECESSARILY IN THE WAYS, OR
FOR THE REASONS, THE HISTORY
CHANNEL MIGHT HAVE YOU BELIEVE.
TAKE THE CRASH IN ROSWELL.
FOR YEARS, THE GOVERNMENT
MAINTAINED THAT WHAT HAD CRASHED
WAS ACTUALLY JUST A WEATHER
BALLOON, WHICH MANY FOUND
SUSPICIOUS.
AND THAT FUELED A LOT OF RAMPANT
SPECULATION, TO THE POINT WHERE,
IN THE MID-1990s, THIS NEW
MEXICO CONGRESSMAN STARTED
PRESSING FOR ANSWERS.
AND THE INQUIRY YIELDED A
SURPRISING ADMISSION FROM THE
GOVERNMENT THAT THEY HAD INDEED
LIED ABOUT THE OBJECT BEING A
"WEATHER BALLOON," IN ORDER TO
CONCEAL WHAT IT ACTUALLY WAS.
WHAT WAS RECOVERED NEAR
ROSWELL NEW MEXICO IN JULY 1947
WAS DEBRIS FROM A FORMERLY TOP
SECRET ARMY AIR FORCE RESEARCH
PROJECT, CODE NAME MOGUL.
PROJECT MOGUL WAS SO SECRET
IT HAD THE SAME SECURITY
CLASSIFICATION AS THE PROJECT TO
BUILD THE ATOMIC BOMB.
THESE HIGH-ALTITUDE BALLOONS
WITH THEIR INSTRUMENTATION,
WHERE DESIGNED TO DETECT SOVIET
NUCLEAR TESTS, THEY WERE
TREMENDOUS IN SIZE, AS LONG AS
650 FEET, AND IN 1947 NOTHING
ELSE ON EARTH LOOKED LIKE THIS.
RIGHT.
THAT DOES MAKE MORE SENSE.
ALTHOUGH IT IS HARD TO TAKE THE
GOVERNMENT'S WORD FOR IT, GIVEN
THEY JUST ADMITTED THEY'D BEEN
LYING FOR 50 YEARS.
IT'S FRANKLY NO WONDER PEOPLE
STILL SPECULATE ABOUT ROSWELL,
TO THIS DAY.
IT'S BASICALLY "THE BOY WHO
CRIED WOLF," IF THE BOY WAS THE
PENTAGON, THE WOLF WAS A 600
FOOT SPY BALLOON, AND THE MORAL
OF THE STORY WAS "WE GOT UP TO A
LOT OF STUPID SHIT IN THE COLD
WAR."
AND THAT WASN'T THE ONLY TIME
THE GOVERNMENT'S DONE THIS.
A CIA STUDY FOUND THAT "OVER
HALF OF ALL UFO REPORTS FROM THE
LATE 1950'S THROUGH THE 1960'S
WERE ACCOUNTED FOR BY MANNED
RECONNAISSANCE FLIGHTS," WHICH
"LED THE AIR FORCE TO MAKE
MISLEADING AND DECEPTIVE
STATEMENTS TO THE PUBLIC IN
ORDER TO ALLAY PUBLIC FEARS AND
TO PROTECT AN EXTRAORDINARILY
SENSITIVE NATIONAL SECURITY
PROJECT."
AND ON SOME LEVEL, YOU CAN SEE
WHY THEY DID THAT.
IF SOMEONE SEES YOUR TOP SECRET
PLANE, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN
"THAT'S NOT A UFO,
THAT'S OUR TOP SECRET PLANE."
NO, THAT'S WHEN YOU NEED TO ROLL
UP YOUR SLEEVES AND GASLIGHT THE
HELL OUT OF THEM FOR UNCLE SAM.
AND SOME HAVE ARGUED THAT EVEN
WHEN THE GOVERNMENT'S NOT
PROTECTING ITS OWN TOP-SECRET
PROJECTS, IT MAY HAVE OTHER
REASONS FOR TRYING TO SHUT
INQUIRIES DOWN.
YOU CAN COVER UP KNOWING
SOMETHING, OR YOU CAN COVER UP
NOT KNOWING SOMETHING.
AND I THINK IT'S-- IT'S JUST AS
LIKELY THAT THE AIR FORCE IS
COVERING UP NOT KNOWING
ANYTHING.
WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T-- THEY
CAN'T AFFORD TO LOOK
INCOMPETENT.
THEY CAN'T ADMIT TO THE PUBLIC
THAT THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE
THINGS ARE IN THEIR SKY.
THAT JOHN C. REILLY
CHARACTER MAKES A GOOD POINT.
WHEN YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF
SOMETHING, YOU HAVE TO PROJECT A
CERTAIN LEVEL OF AUTHORITY AND
CONTROL.
IT'S THE SAME REASON I CAN'T
TELL MY AUDIENCE HOW "I DON'T
KNOW WHERE MY SNAKE IS."
IT'D CAUSE A PANIC, EVEN THOUGH
THERE'S NO NEED, BECAUSE HE'S
NOT VENOMOUS, I ASSUME, THE
WEBSITE I BOUGHT HIM FROM WASN'T
IN ENGLISH, BUT IT'S A MOOT
POINT ANYWAY BECAUSE, RELAX!
I DEFINITELY KNOW WHERE MY SNAKE
IS!
AND THERE HAVE BEEN EXAMPLES OF
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS DOWNPLAYING
UFO SIGHTINGS THAT THEY COULDN'T
EXPLAIN.
TAKE THE CASE OF THE PHOENIX
LIGHTS.
ON THE EVENING OF MARCH 13,
1997, THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE SAW
THESE BIZARRE LIGHTS IN THE SKY,
FOLLOWED BY A SECOND SET OF
LIGHTS A FEW HOURS LATER.
UNDERSTANDABLY, PEOPLE FREAKED
OUT, AND WANTED SOME ANSWERS.
THE STATE'S GOVERNOR EVEN
PROMISED AN INQUIRY.
AND WHEN HE CALLED A PRESS
CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE HIS
FINDINGS, MANY GOT THEIR HOPES
UP.
WHICH IS WHY IT WAS SO
DISAPPOINTING FOR THEM WHEN HE
DID THIS.
I ISSUED A CALL FOR AN
INVESTIGATION BY THE ARIZONA
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY.
AND I'M HAPPY TO REPORT WE
ALREADY ARE GETTING RESULTS.
WE MAY ALL LOOK UPON THE GUILTY
PARTY.
BUT DON'T GET HIM TO CLOSE TO
ME, PLEASE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU CAN'T JUST INTRODUCE A
MASCOT ANY TIME YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
IT'S
LAZY.
IT'S CONDESCENDING TO YOUR
AUDIENCE.
THEY'RE ADULTS.
THEY DON'T NEED A FUCKING PUPPET
SHOW FROM YOU.
THEY'VE COME WITH REAL QUESTIONS
AND DESERVE REAL ANSWERS.
SHIT, SORRY, WE CUT THIS BIT FOR
TIME.
I'M SORRY.
IT JUST DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT.
I SAID I'M SORRY!
HE'S FINE!
AND THE THING IS, THAT GOVERNOR
LATER ADMITTED THAT HE ACTUALLY
SAW THE LIGHTS, TOO, AND DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT THEY WERE.
HE JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE HE
COULD SAY THAT, PUBLICLY.
I GUESS HE WAS MUCH LIKE ME WITH
MY MISSING SNAKE.
HE'D MUCH RATHER PEOPLE STOP
ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT, SO HE
MADE A JOKE OUT OF SOMETHING
THAT DEEP DOWN, HE WORRIED MIGHT
ACTUALLY BE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
BUT AGAIN, I KNOW WHERE MY SNAKE
IS.
LATER ON, AN OFFICIAL
EXPLANATION CAME FROM THE AIR
NATIONAL GUARD, SAYING THAT THE
PHOENIX LIGHTS WERE CAUSED BY
MILITARY FLARES.
AND WHILE THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY
A SATISFYING EXPLANATION-- AND
BELIEVE ME, A LOT OF PEOPLE
STILL DON'T BUY IT-- AT LEAST
IT'S PREFERABLE TO HAVING YOUR
GOVERNOR DUNK ON YOU IN A PRESS
CONFERENCE FOR EVEN ASKING THE
QUESTION.
AND THAT BRINGS US TO THE MORE
RECENT REVELATIONS THAT HAVE
GENERATED SO MANY HEADLINES AND
HEARINGS.
BECAUSE THAT VIDEO OF PILOTS
STARTLED BY WHAT THEY WERE
LOOKING AT, WAS PART OF A LARGER
SERIES OF STORIES CONCERNING A
GOVERNMENT PROGRAM CALLED AATIP,
WHICH WAS DESCRIBED IN NEWS
COVERAGE AT THE TIME LIKE THIS.
THAT ENCOUNTER DOCUMENTED BY
AATIP, THE ADVANCED AVIATION
THREAT IDENTIFICATION PROGRAM, A
SHADOWY OFFICE IN THE PENTAGON.
IT EXAMINED SO-CALLED ANOMALOUS
AERIAL VEHICLES.
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
YOU DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR ABOUT A
"SHADOWY PENTAGON UFO PROGRAM"
ON PRIMETIME NEWS.
YOU EXPECT TO HEAR IT SCREAMED
AT YOU ON A WEBCAST IN-BETWEEN
ADS FOR CANNED RATIONS AND
HERBAL VIAGRA.
THAT INITIAL COVERAGE, ALONG
WITH THE RELEASES OF OTHER
STARTLING VIDEOS LIKE THIS ONE,
UNDERSTANDABLY, GOT A LOT OF
PEOPLE EXTREMELY EXCITED,
ESPECIALLY WITH THE REVELATION
THAT AATIP'S EXISTENCE HAD BEEN
MADE PUBLIC WITH THE HELP OF A
PENTAGON EMPLOYEE, LUIS
ELIZONDO, WHO LATER SAID HE'D
RESIGNED FROM THE PROGRAM TO
PROTEST "EXCESSIVE SECRECY AND
INTERNAL OPPOSITION."
AND FOR MANY, IT SEEMED LIKE
FINALLY, AFTER YEARS OF
DEAD-END, BAD-FAITH GOVERNMENT
INQUIRIES, THIS COULD BE A
GENUINE BREAKTHROUGH.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, AS PEOPLE
LOOKED INTO THAT PROGRAM, THEY
FOUND THEMSELVES COMING AWAY
WITH MORE QUESTIONS THAN
ANSWERS.
FOR INSTANCE, WHILE ELIZONDO
MAINTAINS HE LED THIS PROGRAM--
AND HAS DOCUMENTS THAT SEEM TO
SUPPORT THAT CLAIM-- THE
PENTAGON INSISTS THAT ELIZONDO
ACTUALLY HAD NO ASSIGNED
RESPONSIBILITIES FOR AATIP.
AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T TRUST THE
PENTAGON-- WHICH AS A GENERAL
RULE, I DEFINITELY DON'T--
REPORTERS WHO'VE DUG INTO WHAT
AATIP ACTUALLY DID, HAVE OFTEN
FOUND THEMSELVES UNDERWHELMED.
BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT, A LOT OF
THE RESEARCH WASN'T DONE BY THE
GOVERNMENT.
IT WAS CONTRACTED OUT TO A
COMPANY OWNED BY ROBERT BIGELOW
A BUDGET HOTEL MOGUL, SPACE
ENTREPRENEUR, AND RON DESANTIS
DONOR-- WHO USED TO OWN A
PROPERTY IN UTAH THAT'S KNOWN AS
A HOTBED FOR PARANORMAL
ACTIVITY.
THAT'S WHERE A LOT OF THE
RESEARCH FOR AATIP TOOK PLACE.
BIGELOW ALSO ONCE SAID THAT
ALIENS ARE ALREADY ON EARTH,
"RIGHT UNDER PEOPLE'S NOSES,"
AND FOUNDED THE BIGELOW
INSTITUTE FOR CONSCIOUSNESS
STUDIES WHOSE MAIN GOAL IS TO
DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT THERE'S
AN AFTERLIFE.
AND THIS IS BESIDE THE POINT BUT
IT SAYS SOMETHING THAT, FOR A
GUY WHO IS WILLING TO THROW
MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AT THE
PURSUIT OF ALIENS AND THE
DISCOVERY OF AN AFTERLIFE, HIS
WORST FINANCIAL DECISION STILL
MIGHT HAVE BEEN SUPPORTING RON
DESANTIS.
NOW, AS FOR WHAT BIGELOW'S
COMPANY ACTUALLY PRODUCED FOR
AATIP, FROM WHAT'S BEEN MADE
PUBLIC SO FAR, IT SEEMS TO BE
LITTLE MORE THAN A SERIES OF
38 RESEARCH PAPERS, SPECULATING
ON TECHNOLOGIES LIKE
INVISIBILITY CLOAKING,
STARGATES, ANTIGRAVITY, AND A
"NEVER-CARRIED OUT PROPOSAL TO
TUNNEL A HOLE THROUGH THE MOON
USING NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS."
THEY ALSO COMPOSED A PAPER ON
TRAVERSABLE WORMHOLES THAT
INCLUDES THIS ACTUAL
ILLUSTRATION WHICH, AND THIS IS
CRUCIAL, FEATURES A MAN SAYING
HELLO TO A DINOSAUR.
AND LOOK, I AM NOT SAYING
SCIENTISTS CAN'T OR SHOULDN'T
STUDY THINGS LIKE WORMHOLES.
BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK GREAT WHEN
YOUR RESEARCH ENDS UP LOOKING
LIKE A TEENAGER'S
"RICK AND MORTY" FAN ART.
AND I'LL SAY, IF THAT'S THE KIND
OF WORK THAT PROGRAM ACTUALLY
PRODUCED, IT IS REALLY
DISAPPOINTING.
BECAUSE PEOPLE DESERVE SERIOUS
ANSWERS TO THESE LEGITIMATE
QUESTIONS.
ESPECIALLY, AS IT TAKES COURAGE
TO EVEN ASK THEM, OR TALK ABOUT
WHAT YOU MIGHT'VE SEEN.
NAVAL PILOTS WHO SAW AN OBJECT
IN ONE OF THOSE AATIP VIDEOS,
ZIPPING AND DARTING AROUND THEM,
HAVE TALKED ABOUT HOW THEY WERE
MADE FUN OF AFTER COMING
FORWARD, AND THAT THE STIGMA
ATTACHED TO THIS SUBJECT IS SO
STRONG THAT THEY CONSIDERED NOT
COMING FORWARD AT ALL.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT, OVER
BEERS, WE'VE SORT OF SAID, "HEY,
MAN, IF I SAW THIS SOLO, I DON'T
KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE COME BACK
AND SAID ANYTHING," BECAUSE IT
SOUNDS SO CRAZY WHEN I SAY IT.
YOU UNDERSTAND THAT REACTION?
I DO.
I'VE HAD SOME PEOPLE TELL ME,
YOU KNOW, "WHEN YOU SAY THAT,
YOU CAN SOUND CRAZY."
I'LL BE-- I'M NOT A UFO GUY.
BUT FROM WHAT I HEAR YOU GUYS
SAYING, THERE'S SOMETHING?
YES.
OH, THERE'S-- THERE'S
DEFINITELY SOMETHING THAT-- I
DON'T KNOW WHO'S BUILDING IT,
WHO'S GOT THE TECHNOLOGY, WHO'S
GOT THE BRAINS, BUT THERE'S--
THERE'S SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT
WAS BETTER THAN OUR AIRPLANE.
YEAH, "THERE'S
SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT'S
BETTER THAN OUR AIRPLANE."
IT IS CHILLING TO HEAR THAT FROM
A NAVY PILOT, AND NOT THE USUAL
PLACE, THE EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM
AT BOEING.
"I'VE RUN THE NUMBERS GUYS, AND
PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE'S DOING IT
BETTER."
BUT THERE CLEARLY SHOULD BE ROOM
FOR SOBER ASSESSMENT OF UFO
SIGHTINGS.
WHEN YOU
DO THAT, THE ANSWERS YOU GET,
CAN SOMETIMES END UP BEING LESS
FUN.
SKEPTICS IN THIS FIELD URGE
PEOPLE TO KEEP SEVERAL KILLJOY
POINTS IN MIND WHEN DISCUSSING
UFO SIGHTINGS.
EVERYONE IS VULNERABLE TO
MISINTERPRETATIONS, HUMAN VISION
IS OFTEN UNRELIABLE, HUMAN
MEMORY IS IMPERFECT, AND
PEOPLE'S PRIOR BELIEFS INFLUENCE
PERCEPTION-- WHICH IS TO SAY,
WHAT YOU THINK YOU SAW MIGHT
DEPEND ON WHAT YOU EXPECTED TO
SEE.
HISTORIANS HAVE POINTED OUT "UFO
SIGHTINGS IN THE '50S AND '60S
IN GERMANY VERY RARELY HAD THE
SORT OF ALIEN-EXTRATERRESTRIAL
BEND.
INSTEAD, GERMANS SAW THINGS THEY
COULDN'T EXPLAIN AND ASSUMED
THAT THEY WERE AMERICAN OR
RUSSIAN TECHNOLOGY."
ON TOP OF WHICH, A LOT OF
UNEXPLAINED SIGHTINGS CAN TURN
OUT TO HAVE RATIONAL
EXPLANATIONS.
TAKE THIS STRIKING VIDEO, OF
FLOATING PYRAMIDS IN THE AIR
ABOVE A NAVY SHIP, SHOT THROUGH
NIGHTVISION GOGGLES.
IT UNDERSTANDABLY GOT A LOT OF
ATTENTION WHEN IT WAS FIRST
RELEASED.
BUT IN CONGRESSIONAL TESTIMONY
LAST YEAR, A NAVY OFFICIAL
OFFERED A PRETTY BANAL REASON
FOR IT.
THE HYPOTHESIS IS THAT THOSE
ARE COMMERCIAL DRONES THAT
BECAUSE OF THE USE OF NIGHT
VISION GOGGLES APPEAR LIKE
TRIANGLES, IS THAT THE OPERATING
ASSESSMENT?
SOME TYPE OF DRONE, SOME TYPE
OF UNMANNED AERIAL SYSTEM AND IT
IS SIMPLY THAT THAT LIGHT SOURCE
RESOLVES ITSELF THROUGH THE--
THROUGH THE NIGHT VISION GOGGLES
ONTO THE SLR CAMERA AS A
TRIANGLE.
HUH.
I'D RATHER BELIEVE THOSE ARE
TRIANGLE ALIENS WHO LIVE ON A
DISTANT TRIANGLE PLANET, AND
THIS IS HOW THEY COMMUNICATE IN
THEIR TRIANGLE LANGUAGE.
BUT I GUESS AN OPTICAL ILLUSION
CAUSED BY NIGHT VISION TECH CAN
BE SATISFYING, TOO, EVEN THOUGH
IT REALLY DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY
RIGHT NOW.
AND THE GOOD NEWS IS, THERE DOES
SEEM TO BE A MOVEMENT TOWARD
MORE CAREFUL CONSIDERATION OF
UFOS.
AND IT'S ENCOURAGING THAT NASA
RECENTLY ASSEMBLED A SMALL TEAM,
MADE UP OF EXPERTS IN EVERYTHING
FROM SCIENCE TO AEROSPACE
SAFETY, TO EXAMINE UAPS.
AND LAST SUMMER, WE GOT A
GLIMPSE OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO
HAVE THEM BREAK DOWN A UFO
VIDEO.
SPECIFICALLY THIS POPULAR ONE--
WHICH APPEARS TO SHOW A
MYSTERIOUS OBJECT-- NICKNAMED
"GO FAST"-- MOVING EXTREMELY
QUICKLY.
THE PANEL EXPLAINED, AT LENGTH,
AS PART OF A FOUR-HOUR PRESS
CONFERENCE, HOW THEY FIGURED OUT
THAT THE OBJECT ACTUALLY WASN'T
MOVING THAT FAST AT ALL.
HERE'S JUST A SMALL SAMPLE.
SO, KNOWING THE JET'S
ALTITUDE AND THE BEARING TO THE
TARGET WE CAN APPLY BASIC
TRIGONOMETRY TO FIGURE OUT WHERE
THAT OBJECT IS IN THE ALTITUDE
SPACE.
SO IT'S THE OCEAN THAT LOOKS
LIKE IT'S RIGHT BEHIND IT IS
ACTUALLY 4.2 MILES AWAY.
AND THIS IS OUR FIRST INDICATION
THAT SOME OR MOST OF THE MOTION
THAT WE OBSERVE, THE APPARENT
MOTION OF THE OBJECT, IS IN FACT
DUE TO THE RAPID MOTION OF THE
SENSING PLATFORM.
THAT WAS BORING AS
FUCK.
NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD
WANT TO GO TO A MCDONALD'S
THEMED AFTER THAT EXPLANATION AT
ALL.
BUT THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.
IN THAT, AGAIN, FOUR-HOUR VIDEO,
THEY SET OUT WHAT THEY KNOW--
THE OBJECT'S SPEED-- AND
CONCEDE WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW.
WHICH IS, WHAT THAT OBJECT IS.
AND THEY MAKE THE ARGUMENT THAT
TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF
UFOS, A RIGOROUS,
EVIDENCE-BASED, DATA-DRIVEN
SCIENTIFIC FRAMEWORK IS
ESSENTIAL.
AND THEY'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT.
IT'S BOTH PROMISING, AND LONG
OVERDUE, TO SEE PEOPLE
APPROACHING THIS ISSUE SOBERLY,
SCIENTIFICALLY, AND PERHAPS MOST
IMPORTANTLY, BORINGLY.
AND I KNOW THAT'S HARD.
THIS IS AN AREA WHERE IT'S EASY
HARDCORE SKEPTICS, WHO ROLL
THEIR EYES AT THE WHOLE SUBJECT.
AND TRUE BELIEVERS, WHO ARE
CONVINCED EVERYTHING HAS A
FANTASTICAL EXPLANATION THE
GOVERNMENT IS KEEPING FROM US.
YOU WILL SEE, IN COMMENTS BELOW
THIS PIECE ON YOUTUBE, THOSE TWO
GROUPS FIGHTING IT OUT OVER
EVERYTHING I'VE SAID HERE, AND
ONLY AGREEING ON THE FACT THAT
I AM A FUCKING IDIOT.
WHICH I'M NOT DENYING, BUT NOT
FOR THE REASONS THEY'LL BE
ARGUING.
BUT THERE NEEDS TO BE ROOM FOR
HONEST INQUIRY.
BECAUSE SCIENCE IS ALL ABOUT
COLLECTING SMALL ANSWERS THAT
EVENTUALLY HELP US ADDRESS BIG
QUESTIONS.
LIKE ARE WE ALONE IN THE
UNIVERSE?
WHAT'S THAT I JUST SAW IN THE
SKY?
AND, FOR THE FINAL TIME, WHERE
ACTUALLY IS MY SNAKE?
I'M SERIOUSLY, CAN EVERYONE LOOK
UNDER THEIR CHAIRS?
BECAUSE I GENUINELY DON'T KNOW
WHERE IT IS.
THAT IS OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
THIS HAS BEEN
"LAST WEEK TONIGHT".
I'M JOHN OLIVER, AND THE VAPE IS
DRAGONFRUIT BANANA.
GOOD NIGHT!
OH, SHIT, THERE IT IS!
THERE IT IS!
I FOUND IT!
YEAH, THAT-- THAT'S NOT
ACTUALLY MY SNAKE.
THAT'S A DIFFERENT SNAKE.
MY SNAKE LOOKS LIKE THAT BUT
THAT'S A DIFFERENT SNAKE.
MRS.-- THIS IS SOMEONE ELSE'S
SNAKE.
SOMEON