♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT"!
I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR JOINING US.
IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
KRISTI NOEM CUT SHORT HER BOOK
TOUR, ALLOWING HER MORE TIME AT
HOME, WHICH SHOULD BE CONCERNING
TO ANY OF HER REMAINING PETS.
IT EMERGED THAT RFK JR. ONCE
SAID A WORM ATE PART OF HIS
BRAIN, WHICH HONESTLY SOUNDS
LIKE A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE FOR
THAT WORM, AND THE EUROVISION
SONG CONTEST TOOK PLACE AMID A
SLEW OF CONTROVERSIES, FROM
CALLS FOR BOYCOTTS OVER ISRAEL'S
PARTICIPATION, TO THE
LAST-MINUTE ELIMINATION OF THIS
DUTCH CONTESTANT FOR ALLEGED
"UNLAWFUL THREATS" BACKSTAGE.
IT WAS A LOT OF SERIOUS NEWS
AROUND WHAT'S USUALLY A
MAGNIFICENTLY SILLY COMPETITION
WHICH, TO BE FAIR, STILL HAD
SOME STRIKING CONTESTANTS, FROM
BABY LASAGNA FROM CROATIA, TO
BAMBIE THUG, FROM IRELAND, TO MY
FAVORITE, THIS GUY FROM FINLAND.
♪ ♪
♪ SILENCE, I SAY THIS IS MY
TIME, MY STAGE ♪
♪ CALL ME WHAT YOU MAY ♪
♪ SEE IF I CARE ♪
♪ SEE ME SLAY ♪
♪ IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH
THE WAY I LOOK ♪
WHO I AM ♪
♪ IF I'M NOT ALRIGHT TELL ME
WHY ♪
♪ DO I FEEL SO BEAUTIFUL
TONIGHT ♪
♪ NO RULES! ♪
John: YES.
14,000 OUT OF 10.
A MAN WITH FLOWING BLONDE LOCKS
AND PERVERT GLASSES, HATCHING
OUT OF A DENIM EGG?
IT'S LIKE BOTTICELLI'S BIRTH OF
VENUS, ONLY THIS TIME IT'S
ACTUALLY GOOD.
THE NAME OF THAT ARTIST-- AND I
DO MEAN "ARTIST"-- IS
"WINDOWS95MAN."
HIS STAGE COSTUME CONSISTS OF A
WINDOWS 95 T-SHIRT, HAT, AND,
IMPORTANTLY, NOT MUCH ELSE.
WHICH IS WHY HIS PERFORMANCES
BASICALLY CONSIST OF HIM DOING
AN EXTENDED "AUSTIN POWERS" BIT.
BUT MAYBE THE BEST THING ABOUT
WINDOWS95MAN, OTHER THAN HIS
NAME, FACE, OUTFIT, AND PARTIAL
NUDITY IS THAT, DURING FINLAND'S
CONTEST TO PICK ITS
REPRESENTATIVE AT EUROVISION,
THE JURY RANKED HIM DEAD LAST,
BUT HE TOOK THE AUDIENCE VOTE BY
SUCH A LARGE MARGIN HE WON
ANYWAY.
WHICH MAKES SENSE.
THE PEOPLE OF FINLAND ARE
NATURALS AT SKI-JUMPING, SAUNA,
AND KNOWING A FUCKING STAR WHEN
THEY SEE ONE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR OTHER
CONTESTANTS WERE LIKE, BUT I
HIGHLY DOUBT THEY HAD STAGECRAFT
LIKE A PAIR OF JEAN SHORTS
DESCENDING FROM THE CEILING,
FOLLOWED BY THIS.
MAKE SOME NOISE, LET'S GO!
♪ IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ IN THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT ♪
♪ I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT'S WRONG
OR RIGHT ♪
♪ IT'S HOW I LIVE MY LIFE ♪
♪ NO RULES ♪
John: FUCK ALL OTHER MUSIC,
IT'S DEAD TO ME NOW!
AGAIN, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER HE
WON EUROVISION LAST NIGHT, BUT
TO QUOTE A GREAT POET CLAD IN
EXPLODING DENIM, "I DON'T CARE
WHAT'S WRONG OR RIGHT, IT'S HOW
I LIVE MY LIFE."
AND THAT IS MY CHAMPION RIGHT
THERE.
BUT SADLY, WE'VE GOT TO TURN TO
SOMETHING MUCH LESS FUN TO TALK
ABOUT: THE U.K., WHOSE PRIME
MINISTER RISHI SUNAK HAS BEEN
HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME.
HE NEEDS TO CALL A GENERAL
ELECTION BEFORE NEXT JANUARY--
WHICH HIS PARTY IS WIDELY
EXPECTED TO LOSE.
SO HE'S CURRENTLY TRYING TO
SHORE UP SUPPORT WITH HIS BASE
WITH A RIDICULOUS IMMIGRATION
POLICY.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
FOR YEARS NOW, DESPERATE
MIGRANTS HAVE BEEN CROSSING THE
ENGLISH CHANNEL ON SMALL BOATS
A PERILOUS JOURNEY THAT'S
RESULTED IN HUNDREDS DROWNING.
BUT INSTEAD OF PROCESSING THEIR
ASYLUM APPLICATIONS, SUNAK'S
SOLUTION IS TO PUT THEM ON
PLANES AND FLY THEM FROM THE
U.K. 4,000 MILES, ALL THE WAY TO
RWANDA, WHERE-- JUST TO BE
CLEAR-- THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY
FROM.
AND LAST WEEK, AMID A ROUNDUP OF
THOSE MIGRANTS, SUNAK RELEASED
THIS TRIUMPHANT VIDEO, SET TO
DRAMATIC MUSIC.
THE NEXT FEW WEEKS WILL BE
ABOUT ACTION.
WE NEED INNOVATIVE SOLUTIONS TO
ADDRESS WHAT IS A GLOBAL
MIGRATION CRISIS.
AND THE SUCCESS OF THIS
DETERRENT DOESN'T REST ON ONE
FLIGHT ALONE.
IT RESTS ON THE RELENTLESS,
CONTINUAL PROCESS OF
SUCCESSFULLY AND PERMANENTLY
REMOVING PEOPLE TO RWANDA.
AND I HAVE A PLAN TO DELIVER IT.
SO WE WILL START THE FLIGHTS AND
WE WILL STOP THE BOATS.
John: OKAY, I DON'T THINK
THERE'S EVER BEEN A GREATER
MISMATCH OF SOUNDTRACK TO HUMAN
BEING.
THAT MUSIC BELONGS UNDERNEATH
BATMAN, NOT THE LEAST
CHARISMATIC MAN ON EARTH, TRYING
TO GIVE THE CONCEPT OF
"BANISHMENT" A PR MAKEOVER.
THIS PLAN WAS ACTUALLY STRUCK
DOWN LAST YEAR BY THE UK'S
SUPREME COURT, WHICH UNANIMOUSLY
FOUND IT WOULD "BREACH BOTH
BRITISH AND INTERNATIONAL LAW,"
BECAUSE RWANDA COULD NOT BE
CONSIDERED SAFE FOR REFUGEES.
AND THE UN'S TOP HUMAN RIGHTS
OFFICIAL HAS CRITICIZED THE
POLICY, SAYING IT "SERIOUSLY
HINDERS THE RULE OF LAW IN THE
U.K. AND SETS A PERILOUS
PRECEDENT GLOBALLY."
AND YET, SUNAK HAS PERSISTED--
EVEN AT ONE POINT ENGAGING IN
THIS FUN WAGER.
I'LL BET YOU A 1000 POUNDS TO
A REFUGEE CHARITY, YOU DON'T GET
ANYBODY ON THOSE PLANES BEFORE
THE ELECTION.
WILL YOU TAKE THAT BET?
WELL, I-- LOOK, I WANT TO
GET THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANES.
OF COURSE I WANT TO GET THE
PEOPLE ON THE PLANES!
1000 POUNDS.
I WANT TO GET THE PEOPLE ON
THE PLANES.
John: I WANT TO GET PEOPLE ON
THE PLANES, DO YOU?
SET ASIDE THE GROSSNESS ON
DISPLAY THERE-- IMAGINE WHAT A
MONSTER YOU HAVE TO BE, TO PUT
ME IN THE POSITION OF GENUINELY
WANTING PIERS MORGAN TO WIN
SOMETHING.
IN THE END, SUNAK DID AN END-RUN
AROUND THE RULING THAT RWANDA
WAS TOO DANGEROUS, BY SIMPLY
HAVING HIS GOVERNMENT OFFICIALLY
DECLARE RWANDA A SAFE COUNTRY, A
MANEUVER LAWYERS IN THE HOUSE OF
LORDS CALLED "A LEGAL FICTION."
AND I'D SAY THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE
TITLE OF A NOVEL JAMES PATTERSON
WROTE AFTER HE STOPPED GIVING A
SHIT, BUT JUST TWO MONTHS AGO HE
PUBLISHED ONE CALLED "THE #1
LAWYER," "HE'S AMERICA'S BEST
LAWYER UNTIL HE'S AMERICA'S #1
MURDERER."
AND SUNAK'S GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN
AGGRESSIVE IN PUSHING IT.
HIS FORMER HOME SECRETARY SUELLA
BRAVERMAN WAS SUCH A HUGE
ENTHUSIAST OF THE IDEA, SHE ONCE
EXPRESSED HER FRUSTRATION AT HOW
LONG IT WAS TAKING.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE HERE
SAYING, WELL, CLAIMING VICTORY.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE HAVING A
FRONT PAGE OF THE TELEGRAPH WITH
A FLIGHT-- A PLANE TAKING OFF
TO RWANDA, THAT'S MY DREAM.
John: WAIT, THAT'S YOUR
DREAM?
PEOPLE'S DREAMS ARE NORMALLY
"FALL IN LOVE" OR "MEET LEBRON
JAMES" OR "KISS THIS HORSE ON
THE MOUTH"-- Y'KNOW, COMPLETELY
NORMAL STUFF, NOT "I'D LOVE TO
VIOLATE HUMAN RIGHTS ON A
POTENTIALLY MASSIVE SCALE."
TO PUT A HAPPY FACE ON THE PLAN,
BRAVERMAN EVEN TRAVELED TO
RWANDA TO DO A PHOTO OP IN ONE
OF THE ACCOMMODATIONS BEING
PREPARED FOR ASYLUM SEEKERS.
I VERY MUCH LIKE THE INTERIOR
DESIGNER OR THE INTERIOR
DESIGNER OF THESE BUILDINGS.
THEY'RE JUST FANTASTIC.
I WAS JUST SAYING, THE UM,
THESE HOUSES ARE REALLY
BEAUTIFUL, AND I THINK THEY'RE A
HIGH QUALITY.
THEY'RE WELCOMING.
I QUITE LIKE YOUR INTERIOR
DESIGNER.
John: LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THE APPROPRIATE THING TO SAY IS
WHILE TOURING THE FUTURE
APARTMENT OF SOMEONE YOU'RE
ABOUT TO DEPORT, BUT I'M PRETTY
SURE IT ISN'T "HEY GIRL, IS YOUR
DECORATOR TAKING ON NEW
CLIENTS?"
BECAUSE THAT LIGHT REALLY
ANSWERS THE QUESTION "WHAT IF
THE PIXAR LAMP GOT INVITED TO
THE MET GALA AND KIND OF
MISUNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT?"
AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, AT
LEAST 70% OF THE HOMES IN THAT
DEVELOPMENT HAVE SINCE BEEN
TAKEN BY LOCAL BUYERS, LEAVING
SPACE FOR ONLY A FEW DOZEN
MIGRANTS, IF FLIGHTS EVER TAKE
OFF.
AND THAT SPEAKS TO THE FACT THAT
EVEN PUTTING ASIDE ITS
HORRIFIC MORAL CONSIDERATIONS--
THIS PLAN IS INCREDIBLY POORLY
THOUGHT THROUGH.
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED
THE COST YET.
SUNAK HAS CLAIMED THAT IT WOULD
"LITERALLY SAVE THE U.K.
BILLIONS IN THE LONG RUN."
AND FAR BE IT FOR ME TO QUESTION
THE KEEN FINANCIAL ACUMEN OF A
MAN WHO EARNED HIS GIGANTIC
FORTUNE THROUGH MARRIAGE-- BUT
THERE IS NO WAY THAT'S TRUE.
BECAUSE RWANDA'S NOT TAKING
THESE MIGRANTS OUT OF THE
KINDNESS OF ITS HEART.
THE U.K. GOVERNMENT'S ALREADY
PAID IT 240 MILLION POUNDS FOR
ITS ROLE IN THIS.
AND IT'S GOING TO HAVE TO PAY
540 MILLION TOTAL TO DEPORT JUST
THE FIRST 300 MIGRANTS.
AND JUST WATCH AS A REPORTER DID
THE MATH IN FRONT OF SUNAK'S
CHANCELLOR-- BASICALLY, THE
U.K.'S TREASURY SECRETARY.
ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL
ORDER OFFICE, THE COST OF
SENDING THE FIRST 300 MIGRANTS
TO RWANDA IS 1.8 MILLION POUNDS
EACH.
NOW JUST TO PUT THAT IN CONTEXT,
SCHOOL FUNDING IS AROUND 7,600
POUNDS PER CHILD PER YEAR, SO
THE COST OF SENDING ONE MIGRANT
TO RWANDA WOULD GIVE 234
CHILDREN EDUCATION FOR A YEAR.
IS THAT GOOD USE OF MONEY?
YOU'RE THE CHANCELLOR.
LET'S BE CLEAR.
WE MIGHT SPEND A LOT OF MONEY TO
SEND SOME PEOPLE BACK TO RWANDA,
BUT IF THAT HAS THE EFFECT OF
DETERRING LOTS OF PEOPLE FROM
TRYING TO COME TO THE U.K.--
WE DON'T KNOW THAT.
WE DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT WILL OR
NOT WE DON'T HAVE THE NUMBERS.
WE DON'T KNOW--
WELL, WITH RESPECT SOPHIE, WE
WE'RE ALREADY HEARING THIS WEEK
THAT IT IS BEGINNING TO HAVE A
DETERRENT EFFECT.
John: OKAY, A FEW THINGS.
FIRST, YOU'RE NOT SENDING PEOPLE
BACK TO RWANDA, IF THAT'S NOT
WHERE THEY'RE FROM IN THE FIRST
PLACE.
ALSO, "WE'RE HEARING IT'S HAVING
A DETERRENT EFFECT" IS
CONVENIENTLY VAGUE.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BACK
THAT CLAIM UP WITH MORE THAN
JUST VIBES.
BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
THIS IS GOING TO PUT PEOPLE OFF.
ASYLUM SEEKERS TEND TO FLEE
THEIR COUNTRY OUT OF NECESSITY.
I DON'T THINK THEY'RE COMING TO
THE U.K. FOR ITS BEAUTIFUL
WEATHER OR TANTALIZING CUISINE.
IN FACT, ONE OF THE REASONS THEY
MIGHT BE COMING IS THE U.K. HAS
LOUDLY ADVERTISED ITSELF AS A
CHAMPION FOR HUMAN RIGHTS--
WHICH THIS POLICY MAKES A
MOCKERY OF.
AND AFTER ALL THIS, IT'S WORTH
MENTIONING THAT THE GOVERNMENT
HAS SO FAR MANAGED TO SEND
EXACTLY ONE MIGRANT TO RWANDA.
AND NOT EVEN UNDER THIS LAW.
IT WAS UNDER A VOLUNTARY SCHEME
WHERE THE GOVERNMENT GIVES
ASYLUM SEEKERS 3,000 POUNDS TO
MOVE THERE.
WHICH DOESN'T GET YOU TO
"BILLIONS IN SAVINGS" FOR
MULTIPLE REASONS, EVEN IF IT
MIGHT GET YOU 1,000 POUNDS FROM
PIERS FUCKING MORGAN.
NONE OF THIS FEELS LIKELY TO
WORK.
MEANING THE MAIN OUTCOME OF
SUNAK'S POLICY WILL BE THE
MISERY AND CHAOS IT CAUSES.
THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE,
ENTIRELY EMBLEMATIC OF THE TORY
PARTY, WHOSE NAKED CRUELTY HAS
BEEN EXPOSED YET AGAIN FOR ALL
TO SEE.
AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM,
THERE'S NOT A PAIR OF FLAMING
JORTS ON EARTH BIG ENOUGH TO
COVER THAT UP.
AND NOW, THIS.
Announcer: AND NOW,
THE MEN OF LOCAL NEWS ARE READY
FOR MOTHER'S DAY.
YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WITH
FLOWERS.
IT'S KIND AND-- AND A NICE
CARD.
EXCEPT WHEN I GET FLOWERS.
WHAT DO YOU FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT?
MOM SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT
FLOWERS, DOES THAT MEAN SHE
WANTS FLOWERS?
I THINK SHE SAYING-- I THINK
SHE IS SAYING STEP UP YOUR GAME.
I'M OKAY WITH YOU GETTING THE
TOP GIFT ON YOUR LIST RIGHT NOW.
WHICH IS WHAT?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I WAS GOING TO SAY GO AHEAD AND
ORDER IT AND WE ARE GOOD TO GO.
DO I DO ANYTHING FOR MY WIFE?
OH, MY GOD, YES, SHE BIRTHED
YOUR TWO CHILDREN!
THAN THEY SHOULD DO SOMETHING
FOR HER!
I PLAN TO GIVE MY WIFE AND
EXPERIENCE FOR MOTHER'S DAY.
DO I WANT TO KNOW?
THAT'S TRUE.
JAMES, LISTEN, YOU CAN MAKE
YOUR MOM A HOMEMADE CARD, DRAWN
AND DOODLE ON IT, AND I'LL BET
YOU THAT IT'D BE MEANINGFUL TO
HER.
NO.
[LAUGHTER]
John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
THE OPIOID CRISIS.
IF YOU TAKE OUT ONE I, IT'S
ACTUALLY AN ANAGRAM FOR "RICH
IDIOT POSSE," WHICH SHOULD MAKE
A PRETTY GOOD SWEATSHIRT AT THE
NEXT SACKLER FAMILY REUNION.
THE OPIOID CRISIS IS STILL
RAGING DESPITE VARYING EFFORTS
TO COMBAT IT OVER THE YEARS,
INCLUDING THIS BRILLIANT PLAN
FROM THEN-PRESIDENT TRUMP.
THE BEST WAY TO PREVENT DRUG
ADDICTION AND OVERDOSE IS TO
PREVENT PEOPLE FROM ABUSING
DRUGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
IF THEY DON'T START, THEY WON'T
HAVE A PROBLEM.
IF THEY DO START, IT'S AWFULLY
TOUGH TO GET OFF.
SO WE CAN KEEP THEM FROM GOING
ON AND MAYBE BY TALKING TO
YOUTH, TELLING THEM "NO GOOD,
REALLY BAD FOR YOU IN EVERY
WAY," BUT IF THEY DON'T START,
IT WILL NEVER BE A PROBLEM.
John: HARD TO BELIEVE THAT
MESSAGE DIDN'T LAND.
FROM TRUMP "TALKING TO YOUTH"
WITH THE WORDS "NO GOOD REALLY
BAD FOR YOU IN EVERY WAY," TO
MELANIA STARING ICILY INTO THE
DISTANCE AS SHE BURNS ANOTHER
DAY PATIENTLY WAITING FOR
CORONARY ARTERY DISEASE TO DO
ITS FUCKING JOB.
THE POINT IS, THE OPIOID CRISIS
IS NOWHERE NEAR OVER.
IN FACT, WE'RE CURRENTLY IN
WHAT'S BEEN REFERRED TO AS THE
FOURTH WAVE OF IT.
THE FIRST WAVE BEGAN WITH
INCREASED PRESCRIBING OF OPIOIDS
IN THE '90S, THE SECOND BEGAN IN
2010 WITH HEROIN, FOLLOWED BY A
THIRD WAVE AROUND 2013,
INVOLVING SYNTHETIC OPIOIDS LIKE
FENTANYL.
AND THIS FOURTH WAVE IS
CHARACTERIZED BY OVERDOSE DEATHS
INVOLVING FENTANYL PLUS A
STIMULANT, LIKE COCAINE OR METH
WHICH CAN SOMETIMES BE SPIKED
WITHOUT THE USER'S KNOWLEDGE.
IN FACT, MOST OF THE STREET DRUG
SUPPLY IS APPARENTLY NOW
ADULTERATED-- THAT'S HOW
PERVASIVE THIS PROBLEM IS.
BUT TO THE EXTENT THERE'S ANY
GOOD NEWS HERE, IT'S THAT THE
COMPANIES MOST IMPLICATED IN
THAT FIRST WAVE-- DRUGMAKERS
AND OTHER PLAYERS IN THE SUPPLY
CHAIN THAT PUMPED PILLS INTO
COMMUNITIES-- HAVE FINALLY BEEN
FORCED TO PAY A PRICE FOR THEIR
ACTIONS.
AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, IF YOU'VE
SEEN STORIES LIKE THESE.
WALMART HAS AGREED TO PAY
$3.1 BILLION TO SETTLE LAWSUITS
NATIONWIDE OVER THE IMPACT OF
PRESCRIPTIONS ITS PHARMACIES
FILLED FOR OPIOID PAINKILLERS.
TWO OF THE LARGEST PHARMACY
CHAINS WILL PAY ABOUT $10
BILLION IN PRESCRIPTION OPIOID
LAWSUIT SETTLEMENTS.
FOUR U.S. CORPORATIONS WILL
PAY A COMBINED $26 BILLION TO
SETTLE CLAIMS OVER THEIR ROLE IN
THE OPIOID EPIDEMIC.
JOHNSON & JOHNSON AND THREE
MAJOR DRUG DISTRIBUTORS AGREED
TO THE SETTLEMENT, WHILE
INSISTING IT WAS NOT AN
ADMISSION OF GUILT.
John: OH!
IT WASN'T AN ADMISSION OF GUILT?
THAT MAKES SENSE.
$26 BILLION IS EXACTLY HOW MUCH
YOU PAY WHEN YOU'RE NOT GUILTY
OF ANYTHING.
WHO AMONG US HASN'T SURRENDERED
THE ENTIRE GDP OF ICELAND, "JUST
CAUSE?"
WHEN YOU PUT ALL THOSE
SETTLEMENTS TOGETHER,
COLLECTIVELY, THESE COMPANIES
HAVE AGREED TO PAY OUT MORE THAN
$50 BILLION OVER 18 YEARS TO
STATE AND LOCAL GOVERNMENTS.
AND GETTING TO THIS POINT WASN'T
EASY-- IT INVOLVED
CONSOLIDATING THOUSANDS OF
LAWSUITS FILED BY VARIOUS
GOVERNMENT ENTITIES, AND HAS
BEEN CALLED "THE MOST
COMPLICATED LITIGATION IN THE
HISTORY OF COMPLEX LITIGATION."
AND I THINK THIS GOES WITHOUT
SAYING, BUT: BONER ALERT.
THAT IS A BAT SIGNAL FOR THIS
SHOW-- SOMETHING SO BORING IT'S
GENUINELY KIND OF HOT.
AND PEOPLE HAVE UNDERSTANDABLE
COMPLAINTS ABOUT THESE
SETTLEMENTS.
FIRST, THAT THE DOLLAR AMOUNTS
ARE TOO SMALL-- WHICH THEY
ABSOLUTELY ARE.
PUTTING ASIDE THE LOSS OF
HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF LIVES
OVER THE YEARS, THE OPIOID
CRISIS DID AN ESTIMATED $1.5
TRILLION IN DAMAGE IN 2020
ALONE.
AND SECOND, ALMOST NONE OF THE
MONEY'S GOING TO THE INDIVIDUALS
OR FAMILIES HARMED.
INSTEAD, IT'S GOING TO
GOVERNMENTS-- THEORETICALLY, TO
BE USED TO MITIGATE THE DAMAGE
OPIOIDS ARE DOING.
AND THERE ARE BACKSTORIES BEHIND
BOTH OF THOSE DECISIONS--
INCLUDING THAT THE LEGAL
STANDARDS FOR SHOWING HARM CAN
BE EASIER FOR GOVERNMENTS TO
MEET THAN FOR INDIVIDUALS, AND
THAT THE MOST APPROPRIATE
CORPORATE PUNISHMENT FOR THESE
COMPANIES, THROWING THEM INTO
THE FUCKING SUN, IS SADLY
CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE TO US,
THOUGH I AM WORKING ON A DESIGN
FOR A CATAPULT AND I'M
TANTALIZINGLY CLOSE.
AND I COULD TALK MORE ABOUT ALL
OF THAT, BUT THE TRUTH IS, THOSE
DECISIONS HAVE BEEN MADE.
THEY'RE IN THE PAST.
AND FOR THIS STORY, I'D LIKE TO
DO SOMETHING SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT,
WHICH IS TO MAINLY TALK ABOUT
THE FUTURE, AND THE DECISIONS
THAT HAVEN'T BEEN MADE YET.
BECAUSE WHILE $50 BILLION IS
CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH TO UNDO THE
DAMAGE HERE, IT'S ALSO NOT
NOTHING.
IT'S DOUBLE NASA'S BUDGET AND
FIVE TIMES THE REVENUE OF AN NBA
SEASON.
AND BECAUSE OF THE TERMS OF
THIS IS ALSO
THE BULK OF THE MONEY
GOVERNMENTS ARE LIKELY TO GET
OUT OF THESE COMPANIES.
SO IN TERMS OF RESTITUTION, THIS
IS BASICALLY ALL THE BLOOD MONEY
WE'RE GETTING.
MAKING IT FEEL ESPECIALLY
IMPORTANT THAT WE SPEND IT WELL.
BUT THERE'VE ALREADY BEEN
TROUBLING SIGNS THAT AT LEAST IN
SOME PLACES, THE DECISION
PROCESS ON HOW TO DO SO CAN BE
DEEPLY FLAWED.
WHICH IS PARTICULARLY
FRUSTRATING FOR THOSE WHO'VE
LOST LOVED ONES IN THIS CRISIS,
LIKE THIS WOMAN.
A DOZEN NEW YORK PARENTS
DESCENDED ON ALBANY THIS WEEK TO
COMPLAIN THE GOVERNOR'S BUDGET
IS NOT BEING OPEN ABOUT WHERE
THE MONEY IS GOING.
ONE LONG ISLAND MOM, LINDA
VENTURA, CARRIED HER SON'S ASHES
IN A TUPPERWARE CONTAINER.
I WILL REMAIN A PAIN IN THE
[BLEEP] IN NEW YORK STATE
BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD JOIN THE
CLUB THAT THESE PARENTS ARE HERE
FOR.
John: THAT'S A BRAVE THING
FOR THAT WOMAN TO DO, AND A
POWERFUL MESSAGE TO SEND.
"MY NAME IS LINDA, I'M GOING TO
BE A PAIN IN THE ASS FOR YOU,
AND IN CASE YOU SONS OF BITCHES
FORGOT WHY WE'RE HERE, I BROUGHT
ALONG A TUPPERWARE OF MY SON."
AND I KNOW THAT SOUNDS WORRYING,
BUT THE THING IS, BECAUSE WE'RE
ONLY THREE YEARS IN TO WHAT'LL
BE 18 YEARS' WORTH OF PAYMENTS,
THERE'S STILL TIME FOR US TO
CORRECT COURSE.
BUT THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S LOOK AT THE
OPIOID SETTLEMENTS.
AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT
THAT THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME
GOVERNMENTS HAVE RECEIVED A HUGE
PILE OF MONEY AFTER COMPANIES
CAUSED A PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS.
BACK IN THE 1990S, THERE WAS A
SIMILAR WAVE OF LAWSUITS AGAINST
BIG TOBACCO, THAT ENDED WITH A
SETTLEMENT OF AN ESTIMATED $246
BILLION.
AND AT THE TIME, EVERYONE TOOK A
VICTORY LAP.
FINALLY WE ARE GOING TO BEGIN
HOLD THAT THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY
ACCOUNTABLE FOR DECADES OF
MARKETING THEIR PRODUCTS AND
SELLING THEIR PRODUCTS TO OUR
KIDS.
THE STATES WILL RECEIVE THE
LARGEST FINANCIAL RECOVERY IN
HISTORY.
WE'VE ARRIVED AT OUR FINAL
DESTINATION AND THAT'S THE
DESTINATION OF TOBACCO JUSTICE.
John: OH, TOBACCO JUSTICE!
AND IT DID SOUND GREAT!
NOT ONLY WERE TOBACCO COMPANIES
PAYING A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY,
THE SETTLEMENT ALSO IMPOSED
RESTRICTIONS ON CIGARETTE
ADVERTISING, INCLUDING BANNING
CARTOON CHARACTERS LIKE JOE
CAMEL.
ALTHOUGH PERSONALLY, I NEVER
FOUND A SEXY CAMEL-- THAT
PERSUASIVE, IT SEEMED RIDICULOUS
TO THINK THAT-- OH MY GOD, HOW
FUCK DID YOU JUST DO THAT?
BUT INTERESTINGLY, THAT
SETTLEMENT IS NOW SEEN AS A
PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO DO.
BECAUSE AT THE TIME, THE
EXPECTATION WAS THAT A
SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF THE
FUNDING WOULD BE SET ASIDE TO
REDUCE TOBACCO USE.
BUT THERE WERE NO BINDING
REQUIREMENTS ON HOW THE MONEY
SHOULD BE SPENT.
SO IN PRACTICE, MOST STATES JUST
USED IT AS A SLUSH FUND, TO
COVER BUDGET SHORTFALLS,
SUBSIDIZE TAX CUTS, AND SUPPORT
GENERAL GOVERNMENT SERVICES.
IN FACT, WITHIN JUST A FEW
YEARS, STORIES LIKE THIS WERE
STARTING TO HIT THE NEWS.
HERE IN NORTH CAROLINA, THE
NATION'S NUMBER ONE TOBACCO
PRODUCER, NOT A PENNY OF THE
STATE'S $4.6 BILLION SHARE HAS
BEEN SPENT ON ANTI-SMOKING
PROGRAMS.
SO, WHERE'S THE MONEY GOING?
$200,000 TO IMPROVE THIS HORSE
PARK, $15,000 FOR THIS TOBACCO
MUSEUM TO HELP PRODUCE A TOBACCO
HISTORY VIDEO, AND $400,000
TOWARD THE ENGINEERING OF THIS
PLANT THAT WILL ONE DAY PROCESS
TOBACCO.
John: YEAH, THAT'S NOT GREAT.
AND I REALIZE THAT "SPENDING
OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY IN A DUMB
WAY" COULD WELL BE MY EXACT JOB
DESCRIPTION.
BUT EVEN I KNOW BUILDING A
TOBACCO PROCESSING PLANT WITH
TOBACCO SETTLEMENT MONEY IS A
VERY BAD IDEA.
AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY
CAUTIONARY TALE.
THERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE FROM
EARLY IN THIS CURRENT WAVE OF
OPIOID SETTLEMENTS, WITH THE ONE
BETWEEN STATE GOVERNMENTS AND
McKINSEY.
IN NEW YORK STATE, ONCE THAT
MONEY STARTED ROLLING IN, SOME
PUBLIC HEALTH ADVOCATES WERE
SHOCKED AT WHERE MOST OF IT
SEEMED TO BE GOING.
$21 MILLION WENT INTO
NEW YORK STATE'S GENERAL FUND TO
BUILD BRIDGES AND TUNNELS AND TO
FILL BUDGET CAPS, AND THAT'S
ABSOLUTELY INEXCUSABLE.
I WILL BE DAMNED IF I SEE A
DOLLAR GO TO FIXING A POTHOLE.
DO WE NEED POTHOLES FIXED?
ABSOLUTELY.
THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS MONEY IS
ABOUT.
John: YEAH!
HE'S RIGHT.
HE'S ALSO PERHAPS THE MOST
NEW YORK GUY TO EVER EXIST.
A MAN NAMED ANTHONY RIZZUTO,
RANTING ABOUT POTHOLES ON BEHALF
OF AN ORGANIZATION CALLED
"FIST."
A MAN LIKE THAT ISN'T BORN,
SOMEONE IN MASSAPEQUA RUBBED A
MEATBALL PARM AND HE APPEARED IN
A PUFF OF SMOKE LIKE A GENIE.
NOW, THANKFULLY, THIS CURRENT
$50 BILLION IN SETTLEMENT MONEY
HAS RULES ON HOW IT CAN BE
SPENT.
UNFORTUNATELY, THEY'RE BOTH VERY
COMPLICATED, AND NOT NEARLY
STRONG ENOUGH.
FOR INSTANCE, MOST OF THE
SETTLEMENT AGREEMENTS SAY THAT
AT LEAST 85% OF THE MONEY HAS TO
BE USED FOR "OPIOID
REMEDIATION."
WHICH SOUNDS GOOD!
BUT THAT TERM IS BROADLY
DEFINED.
AND WHILE THEY INCLUDE A LONG
LIST OF WHAT COULD FIT INTO THAT
CATEGORY, THEY ALSO NOTE THAT
THE LIST IS "NONEXHAUSTIVE,"
MEANING GOVERNMENTS COULD
ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY ALMOST ANY
PURCHASE.
AS FOR THE REMAINING 15%, THAT'S
A FREE-FOR-ALL.
MAKING IT BASICALLY A
MULTI-BILLION-DOLLAR SLUSH FUND.
BUT ALSO, AS THIS LEGAL EXPERT
WHO'S BEEN CLOSELY TRACKING THE
SETTLEMENTS POINTS OUT, THERE
ARE WORRYINGLY FEW RULES
REQUIRING STATE OR LOCAL
GOVERNMENTS TO REPORT HOW THEY
SPEND ANY OF THE MONEY.
PUBLIC REPORTING OF OPIOID
SETTLEMENT EXPENDITURES IS NOT
REQUIRED BY THE SETTLEMENT
AGREEMENTS THEMSELVES.
SO WE'RE IN WILD, WILD WEST
TERRITORY.
MINHEE FOUND ONLY 16 STATES
PROMISED TO PUBLICLY REPORT 100%
OF THEIR OPIOID SETTLEMENT
SPENDING.
ANOTHER 16 HAVE NOT AGREED TO
REPORT ANY SPENDING PUBLICLY AT
ALL, AND THE REST ONLY A PORTION
OF IT.
John: OKAY, FIRST, SHOUT OUT
TO THE STATES PROMISING TO
REPORT ON HOW THEY SPEND "SOME
OF THE MONEY."
I'M NOT SURE THAT'S MUCH BETTER
THAN NOT REPORTING IT AT ALL.
"DON'T WORRY, WE'LL REPORT ON
EVERY DOLLAR THAT DOESN'T GO
INTO OUR MYSTERIOUS MONEY HOLE."
AND I SHOULD SAY, A FEW MORE
STATES HAVE SINCE AGREED TO
DISCLOSE AT LEAST SOME OF THEIR
SPENDING, SO IT'S NOW ONLY THESE
7 WHO ARE DOING ZERO PUBLIC
REPORTING.
BUT THE POINT REMAINS: THERE CAN
BE SHOCKINGLY LITTLE
TRANSPARENCY ABOUT WHERE THIS
MONEY IS GOING-- OR, IN SOME
CASES, NOT GOING.
BECAUSE DESPITE THE FACT WE'RE
THREE YEARS IN, SOME STATES
HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED SPENDING.
FOR INSTANCE, IOWA'S STATE
LEGISLATURE RECENTLY COULDN'T
COME TO AN AGREEMENT ON HOW TO
SPEND ITS SETTLEMENT MONEY, AND
THEN SIMPLY ADJOURNED FOR THE
YEAR, LEAVING MORE THAN $25
MILLION UNSPENT UNTIL 2025.
BUT THAT'S FINE.
IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS A LIFE AND
DEATH SITUATION OR ANYTHING.
MEANWHILE, OTHER STATES SEEM TO
BE ENGAGING IN ACCOUNTING TRICKS
TO GET AROUND RESTRICTIONS.
NEW YORK'S GOVERNOR KATHY HOCHUL
PROPOSED CUTTING THE BUDGET OF
THE STATE'S OFFICE OF ADDICTION
SERVICES AND SUPPORTS BY MORE
THAN 13%.
AND IT'S BELIEVED HER PLAN WAS
TO THEN REPLACE THAT FUNDING
WITH MONEY FROM THE OPIOID
SETTLEMENT.
BUT THAT'S NOT INCREASING
SERVICES, IS IT?
IT'S JUST MOVING THE MONEY
AROUND SO YOU CAN USE IT FOR
WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
WHICH IS INFURIATING.
IT TURNS OUT IT'S A LOT LESS
ENTERTAINING TO WATCH SOMEONE
TRY TO LAUNDER MILLIONS IN DRUG
MONEY WHEN IT'S NOT BRYAN
CRANSTON DOING IT.
AND WHILE SO FAR, I'VE MAINLY
TALKED ABOUT STATES, IT'S WORTH
KNOWING: MORE THAN HALF THIS
MONEY IS ACTUALLY GOING TO LOCAL
GOVERNMENTS.
IT'S ACTUALLY BEING DIVIDED UP
AMONG CITIES AND COUNTIES, AS
THIS LOCAL NEWS REPORT EXPLAINS,
WITH SOME TOP-TIER GRAPHICS.
EVERY SINGLE COUNTY IN
MICHIGAN WILL GET SOME MONEY,
BUT IT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW
MUCH.
THE SMALLEST AMOUNT JUST $173 IN
UNION CHARTER TOWNSHIP.
THE BIGGEST AMOUNT, NEARLY $70
MILLION IN WAYNE COUNTY.
HERE IN WEST MICHIGAN, KENT
COUNTY IS GETTING MORE THAN $18
MILLION.
SO, HOW ARE THEY ACTUALLY
GOING TO USE THAT MONEY?
ALL OF THE EXPERTS I SPOKE WITH
SAID IT NEEDS TO BE POURED INTO
FOUR DIFFERENT BUCKETS:
PREVENTION, HARM REDUCTION,
TREATMENT, AND RECOVERY.
John: OKAY, I KNOW SHE'S
TELLING US THE MONEY SHOULD BE
GOING TO THINGS LIKE HARM
REDUCTION AND RECOVERY THERE.
BUT IT KINDA FEELS LIKE IT'S
GOING TO LOCAL NEWS GRAPHICS
DEPARTMENTS.
BECAUSE THAT'S EXCELLENT.
BUT SHE'S RIGHT THAT EXPERTS
GENERALLY AGREE THAT THERE ARE
GOOD WAYS TO SPEND THIS MONEY.
FOR INSTANCE, WE COULD HIRE AND
TRAIN MORE COUNSELORS AND PEER
SPECIALISTS TO WORK WITH THOSE
STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION.
WE COULD ALSO INCREASE ACCESS TO
MEDICATION-ASSISTED TREATMENT,
USING DRUGS LIKE METHADONE,
BUPRENORPHINE, AND NALTREXONE.
WE COULD ALSO BETTER FUND
INTERVENTIONS FOR THOSE
CONTINUING TO USE DRUGS-- FROM
OVERDOSE PREVENTION CENTERS,
WHICH WE'VE DISCUSSED ON THIS
SHOW BEFORE, TO DISTRIBUTING
NALOXONE, DETECTING FENTANYL
THROUGH TESTING STRIPS,
PROVIDING STERILE SYRINGES, AND
CONNECTING PEOPLE TO ADEQUATE
HOUSING.
ALL OF THAT IS A GREAT USE OF
SETTLEMENT MONEY.
BUT IT'S SOMETIMES BEEN HARD FOR
ADVOCATES TO GET THAT MESSAGE
ACROSS, GIVEN LOCAL LEADERS
OFTEN SIMPLY DON'T HAVE THE
EXPERIENCE WITH ADDICTION OR
HEALTH POLICY TO GUIDE THEM IN
USING THE MONEY WELL.
AND THAT CAN BE FRUSTRATING FOR
THOSE WITH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
OF THIS CRISIS.
PEOPLE WHO USE DRUGS ARE NOT
BEING INCLUDED AT ALL.
TRISH PERRY IS A COUNTY
COORDINATOR FOR OHIOCAN, A
NONPROFIT STARTED BY FAMILY
MEMBERS OF INDIVIDUALS BATTLING
ADDICTION.
EVERY SATURDAY, THEY HAND OUT
FOOD, CLOTHING, AND THE
OVERDOSE-REVERSAL DRUG NARCAN IN
NEWARK, OHIO.
FENTANYL TESTING STRIPS?
BUT PERRY SAYS HER
ORGANIZATION HAS SO FAR
ENCOUNTERED STIGMA AND HURDLES
WHEN APPLYING FOR FUNDING FROM
OPIOID SETTLEMENT MONEY THAT'S
EARMARKED FOR LOCAL GOVERNMENTS.
IF YOU DON'T SUPPLY PEOPLE
WITH CLEAN USE SUPPLIES AND
FENTANYL TESTING STRIPS, THEY
DIE.
AND IF THEY DIE, THEY NEVER GET
TO BE A PRODUCTIVE CITIZEN IN
THE COMMUNITY.
John: THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD
USE OF SETTLEMENT MONEY.
ALL OTHER OPTIONS TEND TO PALE
IN COMPARISON TO "IF PEOPLE
DON'T GET THE STUFF I'M HANDING
OUT RIGHT NOW THEY'LL FUCKING
DIE."
AND WHEN YOU SEE THAT, THE IDEA
OF USING THE MONEY TO FILL
POTHOLES STARTS TO SOUND LIKE
SECOND DEGREE MURDER, AS THIS
MAGNIFICENT NEW YORK STEREOTYPE
WILL UNDOUBTEDLY TELL YOU.
AND I WILL SAY-- THERE ARE
PLACES THAT ARE SPENDING THIS
MONEY WISELY, ON PREVENTION,
HARM REDUCTION, AND THE OTHER
THINGS ON THOSE CGI BUCKETS.
BUT PLACES WITHOUT THE EXPERTISE
OR GOOD GUIDANCE CAN BECOME EASY
TARGETS FOR COMPANIES LOOKING TO
TAKE THIS SUDDEN SURGE OF MONEY
OFF THEIR HANDS.
COMPANIES THAT MAKE PILL
DISPOSAL PRODUCTS, SAFE PILL
STORAGE, OR EVEN PRODUCTS FOR
LAW ENFORCEMENT LIKE SPEED RAY
GUNS ARE PUSHING MUNICIPALITIES
TO USE THEIR SETTLEMENT FUNDS
FOR THEIR PRODUCTS AND EVEN HAVE
TABS ON THEIR WEBSITES TO TRACK
YOUR STATE SETTLEMENT MONEY.
John: THAT'S TRUE.
SALESMEN ARE GOING TO SMALL
TOWNS, TRYING TO CONVINCE THEM
THEY'RE SELLING THE CURE FOR THE
OPIOID CRISIS.
IT'S LIKE AN INSANELY DARK
REMAKE OF THE MUSIC MAN.
"THERE'S TROUBLE, FOLKS, RIGHT
HERE IN RIVER CITY, TROUBLE WITH
A CAPITAL "T" AND THAT RHYMES
WITH "P" AND THAT STANDS FOR
PAINKILLERS.
THOUSANDS ARE DEAD."
ONE OF THOSE PRODUCTS IS
"DETERRA" DRUG DISPOSAL POUCHES,
WHICH APPARENTLY CONTAIN
ACTIVATED CARBON, AND COST ABOUT
$4 EACH.
THE WAY THEY WORK IS, CUSTOMERS
PLACE THEIR UNUSED MEDICATIONS
IN A DETERRA POUCH AND ADD
WATER, AND IF YOU'RE THINKING -
"WAIT, SO IT'S ESSENTIALLY JUST
THROWING AWAY PILLS IN WATER?
CAN'T YOU ALREADY DO THAT WITH
"A TOILET?"
YEAH, YOU CAN.
THIS MIGHT BE NEWS TO PEOPLE,
BUT UNLIKE MOST DRUGS, THE FDA
LISTS OPIOIDS ON ITS FLUSH LIST
FOR DISPOSAL.
WHICH IS BAD NEWS FOR DETERRA,
BUT ANOTHER HUGE WIN FOR THE
TOILET, THE GREATEST INVENTION
IN HUMAN HISTORY.
THANK YOU, TOILET.
BUT DESPITE THAT, DETERRA'S
MANUFACTURER HAS PROMOTED IT
HEAVILY TO LOCAL GOVERNMENTS,
EVEN BUYING GOOGLE ADS TO GET
THEIR ATTENTION.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR
OPIOID SETTLEMENT-RELATED TERMS,
YOU CAN GET SERVED SPONSORED ADS
FOR DETERRA WITH HEADERS LIKE
"HOW TO USE OPIOID SETTLEMENTS -
GET THE DETERRA GRANT GUIDE."
AND IT SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED, AS
IT'S WON A BUNCH OF CONTRACTS,
INCLUDING A MILLION-DOLLAR ORDER
FROM THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT IN
DELAWARE COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA.
WHICH SEEMS LIKE A HUGE WASTE,
ASSUMING THAT COUNTY HAS
TOILETS.
THEN SPEND MONEY ON THAT!
STOP SHITTING IN BUCKETS!
SHIT IN ONE OF THESE!
BUT MOST UPSETTINGLY, IN MANY
PLACES THE MONEY'S GOING
SOMEWHERE THAT COULD DO THE
EXACT OPPOSITE OF REDUCING HARM:
THE POLICE.
AND THAT'S DESPITE EXPLICIT
WARNINGS AGAINST THAT.
LAST YEAR, 130 PUBLIC HEALTH
ADVOCATES ISSUED AN OPEN LETTER
TO LOCAL GOVERNMENTS, SAYING,
"NO OPIOID SETTLEMENT MONEY
SHOULD BE SPENT ON LAW
ENFORCEMENT PERSONNEL, OVERTIME,
OR EQUIPMENT."
WHICH MAKES SENSE.
BECAUSE IF WE LEARNED ONE THING
FROM THE "WAR ON DRUGS," IT'S
THAT NANCY REAGAN AND MR. T
PRODUCED THE SINGLE STRANGEST
PHOTO IN THE HISTORY OF CAMERAS.
BUT IF WE LEARNED TWO THINGS,
IT'S THAT POLICING DRUG USE DOES
NOT MAKE IT STOP.
AND YET, IN SOME PLACES, SENDING
OPIOID MONEY TO POLICE IS
ACTUALLY MANDATORY.
LOUISIANA DECIDED TO ALLOCATE
20% OF ITS FUNDS DIRECTLY TO
SHERIFFS, WITH NO OBLIGATION FOR
THEM TO REPORT HOW THEY SPEND
ANY OF IT.
AND MANY SMALLER MUNICIPALITIES
ARE FUNNELING IT TO LAW
ENFORCEMENT, TOO.
SULLIVAN COUNTY, NEW YORK IS
USING SOME OF THEIR SETTLEMENT
FUNDS TO PAY FOR POLICE
OVERTIME.
OCEANA, WEST VIRGINIA IS USING
SOME FOR A NEW POLICE CRUISER.
BIBB COUNTY, ALABAMA SPENT OVER
$120,000 ON TWO NEW CHEVY
PICKUPS FOR THE SHERIFF'S
OFFICE, AS WELL AS NEW LIGHTS,
SIRENS, RADIOS, AND ROADSIDE
CAMERAS.
AS FOR BROWNWOOD, TEXAS, IT
SPENT $15,000 OF ITS SETTLEMENT
FUNDS TO BUY NINE "BOLAWRAP"
DEVICES.
A "BOLAWRAP" IS A RESTRAINT
DEVICE WHICH FIRES A CORD AROUND
A SUSPECT.
AND I COULD DESCRIBE IT TO YOU,
BUT INSTEAD, I'LL SHOW YOU A
VIDEO THE COMPANY MADE.
♪ ♪
John: COOL.
JUST A SECOND AGO, I THOUGHT
SIRENS WERE THE LEAST HELPFUL
THING TO SPEND OPIOID MONEY ON,
BUT THEN I SAW SOMETHING THAT
BOLAWRAP'S ANOTHER USEFUL TOOL
FOR COPS TO ADD TO THEIR BELT,
ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF WAY MORE
LETHAL TOOLS THEY'LL DEFINITELY
REACH FOR INSTEAD.
AND IT'S NOT JUST HIGH-TECH
LASSOS.
WE ALSO FOUND MULTIPLE POLICE
DEPARTMENTS PITCHING LOCAL
GOVERNMENTS ON BUYING SOMETHING
CALLED THE TRUNARC DRUG
ANALYZER, ARGUING IT'LL INCREASE
OFFICER SAFETY.
HERE'S A COP IN KENOSHA COUNTY,
WISCONSIN, DOING EXACTLY THAT,
AT A COUNTY FINANCE COMMITTEE
MEETING.
SO, WITHOUT HAVING TO OPEN A
PACKAGE OF A SUSPECTED NARCOTIC,
WE CAN SHINE THIS-- POINT THIS
EQUIPMENT AT THAT PRODUCT AND IT
WILL TELL US WHAT THE MAKEUP IS
OF WHATEVER'S INSIDE OF IT.
SO, WE'VE ALL SEEN THE VIDEOS
OF THE STAFF ALL OVER THE-- LAW
ENFORCEMENT.
ALL OVER THE COUNTRY OPENING UP
A BAG.
YOU DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE-- AND
BREATHING IN THAT SUBSTANCE AND
PASSING OUT.
THIS FENTANYL IS THAT-- WHAT'S
THE WORD?
NOT PASSING OUT, ODING.
YEAH, OVERDOSING.
GOING UNCONSCIOUS, I SHOULD
SAY, FROM AN OD.
John: OKAY, FOR THE 10,000th
TIME.
IT'S ALL BUT IMPOSSIBLE FOR A
COP TO JUST ENCOUNTER FENTANYL
IN THE FIELD AND OVERDOSE.
TO QUOTE ONE EXPERT, "THERE HAS
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER,
EVER BEEN A CONFIRMED CASE" OF
THAT HAPPENING.
THAT'S TWO MORE "NEVER EVERS"
THAN TAYLOR SWIFT USES FOR
GETTING BACK TOGETHER.
SO YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT FUCKING
AROUND.
BUT AGAIN: THAT ARGUMENT WORKED.
HE SAID "WE NEED THE MAGIC DRUG
FLASHLIGHT," AND THAT WAS GOOD
ENOUGH FOR THE COUNCIL TO SPEND
$30,000 ON IT.
BUT HONESTLY, I DO HAVE SOME
SYMPATHY FOR THE PEOPLE MAKING
THESE DECISIONS.
YOU CAN IMAGINE TOWN COUNCILS
FULL OF MEMBERS WHO FEEL
ENORMOUS RESPONSIBILITY TO SPEND
THIS MONEY WELL, BUT DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO START.
IN THAT SITUATION, IF A POLICE
OFFICIAL SHOWS UP AND SAYS: GIVE
IT TO US, WE KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH IT," THAT'S ALMOST A
RELIEF.
TAKE VIENNA, WEST VIRGINIA-- A
CITY IN A STATE ABSOLUTELY
HAMMERED BY THE OPIOID CRISIS.
THEIR COUNCIL WAS APPROACHED BY
THEIR POLICE CHIEF WITH A
REQUEST FOR $13,000 FROM THEIR
OPIOID SETTLEMENT FUND, TO SPEND
ON A NEW POLICE DOG, BECAUSE
THEIR CURRENT ONE WAS GETTING
OLD.
THE COUNCIL UNANIMOUSLY AGREED
TO IT, EVEN AS ONE MEMBER MADE A
PRETTY REVEALING COMMENT.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
COUNCIL HAS KIND OF BEEN
INFORMED THAT WE'VE EVEN
RECEIVED THOSE FUNDS.
I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE HOW WE'RE
GOING TO USE THE REST OF IT, BUT
WE SHOULD DEFINITELY, YOU KNOW,
HAVE A PLAN IN PLACE.
NOT THAT THIS ISN'T A GOOD NEED.
BUT I WOULD HATE TO SEE THAT
MONEY GET WHITTLED AWAY.
$13,000-$15,000 AT A TIME
WITHOUT BEING THOUGHTFUL ABOUT
THE IMPACT THIS MONEY COULD HAVE
FOR THE CITY OF VIENNA.
John: RIGHT.
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN FOR
YOUR MONEY, IT CAN BE EASY TO
SPEND IT IN A THOUGHTLESS WAY.
IT'S A LOT HARDER TO BREAK INTO
YOUR SAVINGS WHEN IT'S LABELED
"COLLEGE FUND" AND NOT "HOLY
SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS FREE JAR
MONEY."
AND THAT IMPULSE OF NOT WANTING
THE SETTLEMENT TO BE WHITTLED
AWAY WITHOUT SERIOUS THOUGHT, IS
A GOOD ONE.
BUT HERE'S THE THING-- JUST
THREE MONTHS LATER, THE SAME GUY
RETURNED TO THAT ROOM, TO SHOW
OFF PHOTOS OF THE NEW POLICE DOG
THEY'D BOUGHT, AND MAKE A NEW
REQUEST.
AND HERE'S THE MAYOR ANNOUNCING
THAT REQUEST TO THE COUNCIL.
THE NEXT ITEM ON OUR AGENDA
THIS EVENING IS TO AUTHORIZE THE
PURCHASE OF TWO MIDSIZED OR
FULL-SIZED SUVs FOR THE POLICE
DEPARTMENT USING THE OPIOID
SETTLEMENT FUND
John: NO!
DON'T DO IT!
THE POLICE ALREADY HAVE MULTIPLE
FUNDING SOURCES THEY COULD USE
FOR CARS.
WE ARE CONSTANTLY THROWING MONEY
AT THEM.
THEY'RE BASICALLY YOUR RICH
FRIEND THAT VENMO REQUESTS YOU
$2.45 AFTER SPLITTING A POPCORN
AT THE MOVIES.
TRISTYN, THIS WOULD BE UNHINGED
BEHAVIOR EVEN IF YOUR MOM'S NAME
WASN'T BLUE ON WIKIPEDIA.
NOW, TO THEIR CREDIT-- A
COUNCIL MEMBER SPOKE UP AGAIN,
TO EXPRESS RESERVATIONS ABOUT
HOW LITTLE CONSIDERATION SEEMED
TO BE GOING INTO HOW THEY WERE
SPENDING THIS MONEY.
I THINK WE NEED TO SIT DOWN
AND HAVE A BROADER CONVERSATION
ABOUT WHAT WE WANT TO DO WITH
THIS MONEY AND GET MORE VOICES
AT THE TABLE.
OBVIOUSLY, YES, WE'RE GOING TO
TAKE CARE OF THE POLICE
DEPARTMENT IN THE WAYS THAT WE
CAN, BUT IT'S A BIGGER THING.
IT'S ABOUT PREVENTION, AND WE
WANT TO SEE THAT THOSE
PREVENTION DOLLARS FILTER INTO
OUR COMMUNITY.
I THINK THAT, COUNCIL, WE JUST
NEED TO PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER
AND HAVE SOME TIME TO FIGURE OUT
HOW WE'RE GOING TO DIRECT THAT
MONEY MOST EFFECTIVELY AND
EFFICIENTLY.
John: EXACTLY!
AND THAT WAS ONLY SLIGHTLY
UNDERMINED BY THE FACT THAT JUST
TEN SECONDS AFTER SHE WAS DONE
SPEAKING, THE COUNCIL VOTED
UNANIMOUSLY TO SPEND THE MONEY
ON THE SUVs ANYWAY.
WHICH IS MADDENING.
EVEN OPRAH WOULD WATCH THAT AND
THINK, "HEY, GUYS, YOU CAN'T
JUST GIVE PEOPLE CARS THAT WAY!"
BECAUSE THE SAD TRUTH IS, EVEN
IF EVERY PENNY FROM THIS
SETTLEMENT DID GO TO ALLEVIATING
THE OPIOID CRISIS, IT'D STILL
JUST BE SCRATCHING THE SURFACE.
BUT ANYTIME YOU WATCH THE MONEY
GO TOWARD POLICING DRUG USERS
INSTEAD OF HELPING THEM, IT JUST
FEELS LIKE ADDING INSULT TO
INJURY-- ESPECIALLY TO
COMMUNITIES OF COLOR, WHO ARE SO
USED TO BEING OVER-POLICED AND
UNDER-SERVED.
SO, WHAT CAN WE DO?
WELL, AGAIN, THE GOOD NEWS IS,
WE'RE STILL PRETTY CLOSE TO THE
BEGINNING OF THIS PROCESS.
SO WE'RE AT A POINT WHERE WE CAN
CHANGE THE ARC OF THIS STORY.
AND THERE ARE WAYS TO DO THAT.
FOR INSTANCE, STATES CAN DECIDE
WHAT COUNTS AS AN ALLOWABLE
EXPENSE.
CALIFORNIA HAS SAID THAT LOCAL
GOVERNMENTS MAY NOT USE MONEY
FROM THE ABATEMENT FUND TO
PURCHASE MANY OF THE LAW
ENFORCEMENT TOYS YOU'VE SEEN
TONIGHT.
THEY EVEN PUT OUT A LIST
EXPLICITLY STATING THE MONEY
CAN'T BE SPENT ON K9s, BOLAWRAP,
OR THE TRUNARC ANALYZER.
STATES COULD ALSO BE MORE
TRANSPARENT ABOUT HOW THEY'RE
SPENDING THEIR FUNDS.
AND SOME ARE DOING A GOOD JOB OF
THAT.
NORTH CAROLINA AND COLORADO ARE
CURRENTLY THE GOLD STANDARD,
WITH EACH HAVING ONLINE PORTALS
PROVIDING UP TO DATE INFORMATION
ON WHERE THEIR MONEY'S GOING.
BUT IT'S CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH FOR
THE DECISIONS TO BE TRANSPARENT.
THEY ALSO HAVE TO BE GOOD.
THERE ARE TOOLS THAT WE KNOW
WORK HERE, AND THEY NEED TO BE
FUNDED FROM THIS SETTLEMENT AS
ADDITIONAL SPENDING, NOT JUST
SWAPPING OUT ONE FUNDING STREAM
FOR ANOTHER.
AND FOR THE FINAL TIME-- THERE
ARE PLACES SPENDING IT WISELY,
ON PROVEN TOOLS THAT HAVE A REAL
IMPACT.
BUT THERE ARE OTHER PLACES THAT
JUST AREN'T.
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING "WHICH
PLACE DO I LIVE IN?"
YOU MAY NEED TO FIND OUT.
AND THAT, UNFORTUNATELY, CAN
MEAN SHOWING UP IN SMALL ROOMS
LIKE THE ONES YOU'VE SEEN
TONIGHT, ASKING QUESTIONS AND
ADVOCATING FOR REAL SOLUTIONS.
AND IF SOMEONE IN THAT ROOM
SUGGESTS SPENDING THE MONEY ON
ROPE-JIZZING GUNS, OR NEW
SIRENS, OR, GOD-FORBID, FILLING
A POTHOLE, TELL THEM NO.
BECAUSE, AS I BELIEVE THIS HUMAN
STATUE OF LIBERTY ONCE SAID,
THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS MONEY IS
FOR.
AND NOW THIS.
Announcer: AND NOW,
PEOPLE ON TV SHARE HEARTWARMING
MEMORIES OF THEIR MOTHERS.
MY MOM WOULD GET IN FIGHTS AT
RESTAURANTS THAT WHEN IT ALLOWED
CHILDREN AND SHE SAID MY
CHILDREN ARE BETTER BEHAVED THAN
MOST OF YOUR DINNER.
IT NEVER PROPERLY DRESSED AND
SHE'D FIGHT UNTIL THEY LET THEM
IN.
MY MOM USED TO LOOK AT ME IN
THE CAR RANDOMLY.
SHE'D BE SMOKING AND THEN SHE
WOULD LOOK AT ME AND THEN GO,
DON'T BE CHEAP.
I REMEMBER MY MOM BEING LIKE
CAN I JUST SEE HERE IN PEACE FOR
5 MINUTES?
BUT SHE WOULD GO AND HIDE IN THE
BATHROOM.
I REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME
BEFORE I WAS MARRIED, DON'T
THINK I'M GOING TO RAISE YOUR
CHILDREN BECAUSE I'M NOT.
MY MOM HAD TO TELL ME EVER SINCE
I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, SHE USED "A
SONG THAT YOU TALK TOO MUCH, YOU
NEVER SHUT UP.
BUT AGAIN, SHE WAS FAMILY.
MY MOM USED TO CALL ME A
LEECH.
IT LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS ON ME,
NEAR ME, LIKE YOUR LITTLE LEECH.
I'D SAY LET'S GET DOWN TO
BRASS TACKS.
IF YOU CAN'T TOUCH HER HEART,
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE HER
THAT YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET
NEAR HER
John: THAT'S OUT SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT!
DID IT AGAIN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪