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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.

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ISRAEL CONTINUED ITS ASSAULT ON

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RAFAH, EVEN AS BIDEN UNVEILED

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ISRAEL'S NEW PEACE PLAN THAT --

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FUN FACT -- THE ISRAELI

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GOVERNMENT APPARENTLY HASN'T

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AGREED TO YET, AND A NEW YORK

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BUSINESSMAN GOT INTO SOME LEGAL

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TROUBLE, WHICH WAS UNDENIABLY

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FUN TO WATCH UNFOLD LIVE.

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>> WE HAVE OUR VERDICT,

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SAVANNAH.

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HERE WE GO:

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COUNT 1, GUILTY.

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COUNT 2, GUILTY.

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COUNT 3, GUILTY.

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COUNT 4, GUILTY.

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COUNT 5, GUILTY.

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COUNT 6, GUILTY.

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COUNT 7, GUILTY.

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COUNT 8, GUILTY.

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COUNT 9, GUILTY.

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COUNT 10, GUILTY.

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COUNT 11, GUILTY,

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COUNT 12, GUILTY.

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COUNT 13, GUILTY,

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COUNT 14, GUILTY.

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COUNT 15, GUILTY,

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COUNT 16, GUILTY.

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COUNT 17, GUILTY.

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COUNT 18, GUILTY.

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COUNT 19, GUILTY.

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COUNT 20, GUILTY.

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COUNT 21, GUILTY,

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COUNT 22, GUILTY.

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COUNT 23...

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GUILTY.

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> John: SHE DID THAT FOR ALL

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34 DIFFERENT COUNTS.

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AND IT IS SO SATISFYING TO

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WATCH, I'D BE SURPRISED IF

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SOMEONE HADN'T UPLOADED IT TO

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PORNHUB BY NOW.

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ANYWAY, THAT WILL BE SO FUN TO

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REMEMBER FIVE MONTHS FROM NOW,

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WHEN WE'RE WATCHING THAT EXACT

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ANCHOR COUNT THE 270 ELECTORAL

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VOTES THAT TRUMP'S WON, BECAUSE

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NOTHING MATTERS AND WE LIVE IN A

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BROKEN WORLD.

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AND LOOK, THERE MIGHT BE MORE TO

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SAY ABOUT THIS AFTER THE

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SENTENCING, BUT FOR NOW, WE'RE

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GOING TO DIVE STRAIGHT IN TO OUR

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MAIN STORY TONIGHT, WHICH

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CONCERNS INDIA.

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THE LAST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD

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THAT WANTS TO BE DISCUSSED BY

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SOMEONE WITH THIS ACCENT.

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WHICH IS WHY I'LL BE DOING THE

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REST OF TONIGHT'S SHOW IN-A

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DIS-A ONE!

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EVERYBODY LOVE-A-DA

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GIOVANNI OLIVER SHOW!

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MAMMA MIA, BUCCA DE BEPPO,

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EVERYBODY LOVE --

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[SPEAKS IN NORMAL VOICE]

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YEP, YEP, THAT'S FAIR, I

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I DIDN'T LOVE WHERE THAT WAS

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HEADING.

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INDIA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF AN

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ELECTION RIGHT NOW, AND I DO

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MEAN IN THE MIDDLE, BECAUSE

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VOTING STARTED SEVERAL WEEKS

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AGO, AND ONLY JUST ENDED, WITH

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RESULTS EXPECTED TUESDAY.

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AND IT'S A LONG PROCESS FOR A

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REASON.

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INDIA IS THE LARGEST COUNTRY IN

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THE WORLD BY POPULATION -- WITH

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OVER 1.4 BILLION PEOPLE, THE

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EQUIVALENT OF ROUGHLY FOUR

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UNITED STATES, SIX BRAZILS,

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NINE RUSSIAS, 34 CANADAS, OR

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1.4 BILLION KEVINS.

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IT IS A LOT OF PEOPLE.

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AND THE SHEER MECHANICS OF

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SETTING UP AN ELECTION THAT SIZE

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ARE MIND-BLOWING.

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>> BY LAW, EVERY VOTER MUST BE

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WITHIN TWO KILOMETERS OR A

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LITTLE MORE THAN A MILE OF A

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POLLING STATION.

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TO SET THEM UP, OFFICIALS TREK

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OVER ROUGH AND MOUNTAINOUS

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TERRAIN AND ACROSS RIVERS.

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>> TAKING BOATS, CHOPPERS, EVEN

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HORSES, TREKKING THROUGH

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MOUNTAINS DEEP IN THE HIMALAYAS

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AND THROUGH LION-INFESTED

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JUNGLES.

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SOMETIMES A TEAM TRAVELS

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70 KILOMETERS TO SET UP A BOOTH

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FOR JUST ONE PERSON.

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>> John: THAT IS INCREDIBLE.

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AND JUST IMAGINE IF WORKERS

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DRAGGED A POLLING PLACE THROUGH

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MOUNTAINS AND RIVERS, JUST FOR

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YOU, AND THEN YOU FORGOT TO

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VOTE.

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"OH, WAS THAT TODAY?

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I'M SORRY, IT SLIPPED MY MIND.

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THANKS SO MUCH FOR GETTING

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THROUGH THAT LION-INFESTED

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JUNGLE FOR ME, THOUGH.

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I'LL DEFINITELY TRY AND REMEMBER

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NEXT TIME!"

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RESULTS FOR INDIA'S ELECTION

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WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON JUNE 4, AND

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WHILE WE DON'T YET KNOW WHO'S

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GOING TO WIN, WE ACTUALLY KIND

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OF DO, BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE

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NARENDRA MODI, WHO'S

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OVERWHELMINGLY FAVORED TO WIN A

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THIRD TERM.

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IN FACT, MOST EXPERTS AGREE THE

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ONLY REAL QUESTION MARK IS,

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"HOW MUCH WILL HE AND HIS PARTY,

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THE BJP, WIN BY?"

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ONE POLLING ORGANIZATION FOUND

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HE HAS AN APPROVAL RATING OF

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74%, MORE THAN ANY WORLD LEADER

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THEY TRACK.

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AND FOR SOME INDIANS, PART OF

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MODI'S APPEAL IS THE SENSE THAT

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UNDER HIS LEADERSHIP, THE

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COUNTRY'S BEEN ON THE RISE,

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ENJOYING INCREASED PROMINENCE ON

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THE WORLD STAGE -- FROM BIDEN

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HOSTING MODI FOR A STATE VISIT

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LAST YEAR, TO THE AUSTRALIAN

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PRIME MINISTER INTRODUCING HIM

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AT A PACKED ARENA IN SYDNEY WITH

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THIS MEMORABLE LINE:

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>> THE LAST TIME I SAW SOMEONE

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ON THIS STAGE HERE WAS

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BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, AND HE DIDN'T

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GET THE WELCOME THE

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PRIME MINISTER MODI HAS GOT.

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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PRIME MINISTER MODI IS THE BOSS.

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>> John: OKAY, THAT IS SOME

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WEAPONS-GRADE ASS-KISSING AND

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ALSO A PRETTY STRANGE WAY OF

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TRANSFERRING TITLES.

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"BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN DIDN'T GET

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THIS REACTION, SO YOU'RE THE

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BOSS NOW.

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YOU ALSO GOT A BIGGER REACTION

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THAN MADONNA, LUXEMBOURG'S

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HENRI GUILLAUME, AND LIZZO, SO

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BY THE TRANSITIVE PROPERTY, YOU

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ARE NOW QUEEN OF POP, THE

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GRAND DUKE OF LUXEMBOURG, AND

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100% THAT BITCH."

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YET, DESPITE MODI'S POPULARITY,

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THERE ARE SOME MAJOR CAUSES FOR

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CONCERN.

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IF YOU'RE THINKING, "HAVEN'T YOU

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TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE?"

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YOU'RE HALF-RIGHT.

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WE'VE ACTUALLY COVERED MODI

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TWICE BEFORE: ONCE FOUR YEARS

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AGO AND ONCE FOR OUR VERY FIRST

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EPISODE WHICH WAS -- BASED ON

186
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THIS PHOTO -- 200 YEARS AGO.

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AND THOSE EPISODES ACTUALLY

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STAND UP PRETTY WELL.

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IN FACT, I ASKED MY STAFF TO

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PICK A CLIP THEY FEEL IS

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REPRESENTATIVE, AND THEY TELL ME

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THEY'VE FOUND THE PERFECT ONE,

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SO GO AHEAD AND ROLL IT!

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>> John: HITLER IS THE ONE WHO

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STEPPED UP AND GOT IT DONE, AND

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FOR THAT I SAY, "WAY TO GO,

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HITLER."

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>> John: WHOA, WHOA, HOLD ON.

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THAT NEEDS A LOT MORE CONTEXT

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AROUND IT.

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FUCK YOU FOR CHOOSING THAT.

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EXPLAINED IN THOSE EPISODES IS

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THAT MODI'S PARTY, THE BJP, HAS

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A LONG HISTORY OF ESPOUSING

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HINDU NATIONALISM --

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ESSENTIALLY, REJECTING INDIA'S

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HISTORY AS A PLURALISTIC NATION,

208
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AND TRYING TO PUSH IT TOWARD

209
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BECOMING AN EXPLICITLY HINDU

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ONE.

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IT'S LONG BEEN AFFILIATED WITH A

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PARAMILITARY GROUP CALLED THE

213
00:05:58,866 --> 00:06:01,933
RSS, WHOSE EARLY LEADERS ADMIRED

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HITLER -- AND THAT, FOR THE

215
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,166
RECORD, WAS THE CONTEXT FOR THAT

216
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:06,466
JOKE.

217
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IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD HITLER JOKE

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00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:10,000
-- SO GOOD, IN FACT, I'M

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GUESSING, EVEN HITLER WOULD SAY,

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"WAY TO GO, JOHN!"

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AND PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT

222
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IMAGE OUT OF CONTEXT AS WELL.

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WE ALSO TALKED ABOUT HOW, OVER

224
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THE COURSE OF MODI'S RISE, HE'D

225
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CHOSEN TO BE "STRATEGICALLY

226
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QUIET" ABOUT HIS

227
00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:22,832
PSEUDO-AUTHORITARIAN, PRO-HINDU

228
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VISION OF INDIA.

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BUT THERE'S BEEN A NOTICEABLE

230
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SHIFT IN HIS RHETORIC DURING

231
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THIS ELECTION SEASON, BECAUSE

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HIS SPEECHES HAVE STARTED TO

233
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CONTAIN OVERT ANTI-MUSLIM

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STATEMENTS LIKE THIS ONE, IN

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WHICH HE CLAIMS THAT, IF

236
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ELECTED, HIS RIVAL POLITICAL

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PARTY WILL HAND OVER THE

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COUNTRY'S WEALTH TO MUSLIMS.

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>> THE EARLIER GOVERNMENT SAID

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THE MUSLIMS WILL HAVE THE RIGHT

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OVER THE RESOURCES OF THE

242
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COUNTRY.

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WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

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THIS MEANS THEY WILL GATHER ALL

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THE WEALTH AND GIVE IT TO THE

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PEOPLE WHO HAVE MORE CHILDREN.

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THEY WILL DISTRIBUTE IT AMONG

248
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THE INFILTRATORS.

249
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DO YOU THINK YOUR HARD-EARNED

250
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MONEY SHOULD BE DISTRIBUTED TO

251
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THE INFILTRATORS?

252
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DO YOU ACCEPT THAT?

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>> John: THAT IS MODI REFERRING

254
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TO INDIA'S MUSLIM CITIZENS AS

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"INFILTRATORS" -- AND THAT'S NOT

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THE ONLY TROUBLING SIGN.

257
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THE BJP'S PRODUCED INCENDIARY

258
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VIDEOS LIKE THIS ONE, SHOWING A

259
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,233
BIRD LABELED MUSLIM BEING

260
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:16,766
PLANTED IN A NEST AND THEN

261
00:07:16,832 --> 00:07:17,400
CONSUMING ALL THE FUNDING WHILE

262
00:07:17,466 --> 00:07:18,000
THE OTHER BIRDS GET NOTHING.

263
00:07:18,066 --> 00:07:18,600
AND LOOK, THAT'S ALREADY UGLY

264
00:07:18,666 --> 00:07:19,133
ENOUGH.

265
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:19,766
BUT IT'S ALSO COMING AT A TIME

266
00:07:19,832 --> 00:07:20,966
WHEN MODI AND HIS PARTY HAVE

267
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,500
SEEMED INCREASINGLY COMFORTABLE

268
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:23,400
THREATENING DEMOCRATIC

269
00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:24,933
INSTITUTIONS BY, AMONG OTHER

270
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,800
THINGS, STIFLING POLITICAL

271
00:07:26,866 --> 00:07:27,400
OPPOSITION AND FREEDOM OF THE

272
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:27,633
PRESS.

273
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:28,300
IN FACT, ON MULTIPLE FRONTS,

274
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,533
INDIA SEEMS TO BE SLIDING TOWARD

275
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,500
AUTHORITARIANISM.

276
00:07:32,566 --> 00:07:34,733
SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, LET'S

277
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,866
CHECK IN ON NARENDRA MODI --

278
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,866
WHAT'S HE'S BEEN DOING IN

279
00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:40,466
OFFICE AND WHAT HE MIGHT DO

280
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:40,666
NEXT.

281
00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:41,933
AND LET'S START WITH WHY IT

282
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,233
SEEMS SO LIKELY HE'S GOING TO BE

283
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:43,800
REELECTED.

284
00:07:43,866 --> 00:07:44,966
SOME OF HIS POPULARITY COMES

285
00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:46,700
FROM THE VERY REAL ADVANCES

286
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:47,166
INDIA'S MADE UNDER HIS

287
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,266
LEADERSHIP, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT

288
00:07:48,332 --> 00:07:49,633
COMES TO INFRASTRUCTURE.

289
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:51,332
HE INITIALLY CAMPAIGNED ON

290
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,600
ISSUES LIKE EXPANDING ACCESS TO

291
00:07:52,666 --> 00:07:54,200
SANITATION AND WATER FACILITIES,

292
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,133
AND HAS INVESTED BILLIONS IN A

293
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,466
NATIONWIDE UPGRADE OF THE

294
00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:57,332
COUNTRY'S ROADS, RAILWAYS,

295
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,133
AIRPORTS, AND SEAPORTS.

296
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,933
ON TOP OF THAT, THERE'VE BEEN

297
00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:02,033
PROGRAMS TO ALLEVIATE POVERTY,

298
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,766
FOR WHICH SOME CITIZENS THANK

299
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:05,566
HIM PERSONALLY.

300
00:08:05,633 --> 00:08:08,000
>> 60% OF THE POPULATION

301
00:08:08,066 --> 00:08:10,066
BENEFITS FROM MODI'S FOOD

302
00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:11,700
DISTRIBUTION SCHEME, WHICH HE

303
00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:12,833
HAS PLEDGED TO RENEW FOR ANOTHER

304
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:13,133
FIVE YEARS.

305
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,566
>> EVERY MONTH, THEY GIVE ME

306
00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:16,700
FIVE KILOS OF RICE AND FLOUR.

307
00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:17,332
IF MODI IS NO LONGER THE HEAD OF

308
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,933
THE COUNTRY, I DON'T THINK WE'LL

309
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:20,633
GET ANY HELP.

310
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,900
AND THAT SCARES ME TO DEATH.

311
00:08:21,966 --> 00:08:22,566
WE WANT MODI IN POWER, NOT

312
00:08:22,633 --> 00:08:24,700
ANYONE ELSE.

313
00:08:24,766 --> 00:08:28,233
>> John: YEAH, YOU CAN SEE WHY

314
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,832
PEOPLE MIGHT LOVE HIM FOR THAT,

315
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:30,466
ESPECIALLY SINCE THE GRAIN

316
00:08:30,533 --> 00:08:31,100
LITERALLY ARRIVES IN A BAG WITH

317
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:31,466
HIS FACE ON IT.

318
00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:32,665
WHICH FEELS A LITTLE

319
00:08:32,732 --> 00:08:33,832
EGOTISTICAL.

320
00:08:33,933 --> 00:08:35,400
IT'D BE LIKE IF LYNDON JOHNSON

321
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,232
SIGNED THE FOOD STAMP ACT OF

322
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,799
1964, BUT INSISTED THAT FOOD

323
00:08:39,866 --> 00:08:40,799
STAMPS BE REBRANDED AS "LYNDON'S

324
00:08:40,866 --> 00:08:42,165
LUCKY YUM-YUM VOUCHERS."

325
00:08:42,232 --> 00:08:44,033
IT'S STILL A GOOD PROGRAM, BUT I

326
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:44,966
DUNNO, MAN, MAYBE TURN IT DOWN A

327
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:45,933
NOTCH.

328
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,333
AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY WAY

329
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,400
THAT MODI TRIED TO TAKE CREDIT

330
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:52,933
FOR PROGRESS ON HIS WATCH.

331
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:53,933
UP UNTIL THE ELECTION BEGAN,

332
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,800
SOME TRAIN STATIONS HAD MODI

333
00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:56,400
SELFIE BOOTHS, WHERE YOU COULD

334
00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:56,966
TAKE A PICTURE WITH HIM AND

335
00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:57,900
SYMBOLS OF HIS ACHIEVEMENTS:

336
00:08:57,966 --> 00:08:59,900
FROM INDIA'S SPACE PROGRAM, TO A

337
00:08:59,966 --> 00:09:00,766
GIANT TAP REPRESENTING WATER

338
00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:04,066
CONNECTIONS, TO A HUGE BOTTLE OF

339
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:04,400
COVID VACCINE.

340
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:05,833
IT WAS HIS NOT-SO-SUBTLE WAY OF

341
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,033
MAKING SURE YOU ASSOCIATE HIS

342
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:08,866
FACE WITH ALL OF INDIA'S WINS,

343
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:11,266
KIND OF LIKE HOW TRUMP MAKES

344
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,866
SURE HIS NAME IS ON ALL OF HIS

345
00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:14,466
PRODUCTS AND ELON MUSK MODELED

346
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:15,066
ALL OF HIS CYBERTRUCKS ON HIS

347
00:09:15,133 --> 00:09:16,733
WEIRD PENIS.

348
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,800
I'M NOT BODY-SHAMING.

349
00:09:18,866 --> 00:09:20,166
I'M JUST SAYING, HIS PENIS DOES

350
00:09:20,233 --> 00:09:21,833
LOOK LIKE THAT -- INCLUDING THE

351
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,266
WHEELS -- AND THAT'S WHAT HE

352
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,500
WANTS YOU TO THINK ABOUT THE

353
00:09:24,566 --> 00:09:25,100
NEXT TIME YOU SEE ONE SLOWLY

354
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,300
ROLLING INTO A TREE WHENEVER IT

355
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,933
RAINS.

356
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,066
ALTHOUGH, I WILL SAY, SOMETIMES

357
00:09:32,133 --> 00:09:32,900
MODI'S TENDENCY TO TAKE CREDIT

358
00:09:32,966 --> 00:09:33,466
FOR THINGS CAN BE A BIT OF A

359
00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:34,366
STRETCH.

360
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:37,200
>> IN THIS PROMOTIONAL VIDEO,

361
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:40,100
IT'S EVEN SUGGESTED THAT HE

362
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:40,665
HALTED THE WAR IN UKRAINE TO

363
00:09:40,733 --> 00:09:41,266
ENSURE THE SAFE RETURN OF HIS

364
00:09:41,366 --> 00:09:42,366
CITIZENS.

365
00:09:42,466 --> 00:09:45,133
>> MODI BROUGHT US HOME.

366
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,100
HE STOPPED THE WAR, DAD.

367
00:09:48,165 --> 00:09:49,033
>> John: WAIT, HE STOPPED THE

368
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:52,733
WAR?

369
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,333
ARE YOU COMPLETELY SURE ABOUT

370
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,366
THAT?

371
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:56,000
I FEEL LIKE I'D REMEMBER IF MODI

372
00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:56,633
HAD SOMEHOW HIT PAUSE ON THE WAR

373
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:57,833
IN UKRAINE LIKE IT'S A

374
00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,633
"CALL OF DUTY" GAME AND

375
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,633
HIS MOM JUST CALLED HIM FOR

376
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:01,733
DINNER.

377
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,000
NOW A KEY THING MODI LIKES TO

378
00:10:03,066 --> 00:10:03,966
BRAG ABOUT IS HIS ECONOMIC

379
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:04,600
RECORD.

380
00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:06,366
ON HIS WATCH, INDIA HAS GROWN TO

381
00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:08,100
BECOME THE WORLD'S FIFTH LARGEST

382
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,366
ECONOMY.

383
00:10:09,433 --> 00:10:10,900
IT'S ALMOST TWICE AS BIG AS IT

384
00:10:10,966 --> 00:10:12,600
WAS, AND ITS STOCK MARKET HAS

385
00:10:12,666 --> 00:10:14,133
GROWN THREEFOLD SINCE HE TOOK

386
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:14,400
OFFICE.

387
00:10:14,466 --> 00:10:15,266
BUT THOSE NUMBERS ONLY TELL PART

388
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:19,133
OF THE STORY.

389
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,933
FOR ONE THING, THE ECONOMY WAS

390
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,166
ALREADY IMPROVING BEFORE MODI

391
00:10:22,233 --> 00:10:23,133
TOOK OVER, SO HE INHERITED AN

392
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,733
UPWARD TRAJECTORY.

393
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,400
AND FOR ANOTHER, THE PRECISE

394
00:10:28,466 --> 00:10:28,966
MEASURES OF GROWTH THAT HIS

395
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:29,933
GOVERNMENT CITES HAVE BEEN

396
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,933
CALLED INTO QUESTION, WITH EVEN

397
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:31,500
MODI'S FORMER ECONOMIC AIDES

398
00:10:31,566 --> 00:10:32,733
FINDING THE RECENT GROWTH RATES

399
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,700
OF 8% ANNOUNCED BY THE

400
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,233
GOVERNMENT "MYSTIFYING."

401
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,366
SIMILARLY, WHILE HE CLAIMS HE'S

402
00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:39,000
LIFTED MILLIONS OUT OF POVERTY,

403
00:10:39,066 --> 00:10:40,900
AS THIS ECONOMIST POINTS OUT,

404
00:10:40,966 --> 00:10:43,133
THAT COMES WITH A MASSIVE

405
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:43,400
ASTERISK.

406
00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:46,000
>> SO WHAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS

407
00:10:46,066 --> 00:10:47,665
DONE IS THAT IT'S CHANGED HOW IT

408
00:10:47,766 --> 00:10:48,665
IS GOING TO DEFINE POVERTY.

409
00:10:48,766 --> 00:10:51,600
IT'S USING ONE MULTIDIMENSIONAL

410
00:10:51,665 --> 00:10:53,233
POVERTY MEASURE, WHICH IS, SHALL

411
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,866
WE SAY, PROBLEMATIC, AND WHICH

412
00:10:55,933 --> 00:10:57,033
IS DESIGNED TO SUGGEST THAT LESS

413
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,133
AND LESS PEOPLE ARE POOR.

414
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,066
WE HAVE A VERY, VERY LARGE

415
00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:04,233
NUMBER OF POOR, AND ALL KINDS OF

416
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:04,800
DATA ARE TELLING US THAT NOT

417
00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:05,766
ONLY DO WE STILL HAVE A VERY

418
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,700
LARGE NUMBER OF INCOME POOR, BUT

419
00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:09,400
OTHER KINDS OF POVERTY, LIKE

420
00:11:09,466 --> 00:11:10,866
FOOD POVERTY, MAY WELL BE

421
00:11:10,933 --> 00:11:11,166
INCREASING.

422
00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:13,033
>> John: RIGHT, ANYONE CAN GET

423
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,300
RID OF "ALL" POVERTY IF YOU JUST

424
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:16,833
CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF

425
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,366
"POOR PEOPLE" TO SOMETHING ELSE,

426
00:11:19,433 --> 00:11:19,966
LIKE, I DUNNO, "FIRE HYDRANTS"

427
00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,066
OR "OPPOSITE SNAKES."

428
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:23,600
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "WAIT:

429
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,166
SO, THERE'S BEEN SUBSTANTIAL

430
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:26,066
GROWTH AND INCREASING POVERTY AT

431
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:26,633
THE SAME TIME?"

432
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:28,233
THE REASON IS -- ACTUALLY, HANG

433
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:28,833
ON, I CAN FEEL YOU'RE GETTING

434
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,100
HUNG UP ON SOMETHING.

435
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,600
OPPOSITE SNAKES ARE JUST ARMS

436
00:11:32,665 --> 00:11:35,033
AND LEGS, NO FACE OR TAIL.

437
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,200
BASICALLY, FOUR LEGS WITH

438
00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:38,600
FINGERS ON THE END AND A BUTT IN

439
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,400
THE MIDDLE, COVERED WITH HAIR.

440
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:41,733
NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW

441
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:42,333
GROWTH AND POVERTY CAN COEXIST

442
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,933
-- THEY LIVE IN THE JUNGLE.

443
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
THAT'S WHERE OPPOSITE SNAKES

444
00:11:46,066 --> 00:11:46,200
LIVE.

445
00:11:46,266 --> 00:11:46,833
JUST TO GET AHEAD OF ANY HABITAT

446
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:49,066
QUESTIONS.

447
00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:49,733
OKAY?

448
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,533
IF YOU'RE THINKING THAT GROWTH

449
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:50,866
AND -- SORRY.

450
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:53,000
VIEWERS AT HOME PROBABLY CAN'T

451
00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:53,633
TELL, BUT IT HAS GOT A BIT TENSE

452
00:11:53,733 --> 00:11:55,000
IN HERE.

453
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,033
SO QUICKLY, I'LL ADDRESS AS MANY

454
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:57,933
QUESTIONS AS I CAN: HOW DO

455
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,400
OPPOSITE SNAKES EAT?

456
00:11:59,466 --> 00:12:00,933
THROUGH A VERTICAL SLIT ON THE

457
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:01,500
UNDERSIDE.

458
00:12:01,566 --> 00:12:03,366
WHAT ARE ITS KNOWN PREDATORS?

459
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,333
UM, BADGERS, MONGEESE, ANY OF

460
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,833
THOSE GORILLAS THEY TAUGHT

461
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:08,733
SIGN LANGUAGE TO, BEES, MAN, AND

462
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,533
DOLPHINS.

463
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,166
LIKE REGULAR SNAKES, OPPOSITE

464
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,966
SNAKES COME FROM EGGS BUT THEIR

465
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:16,566
EGGS ARE VIOLENT.

466
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:17,833
THEY LIVE FOR 85 YEARS, THEY

467
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:21,833
HAVE TONGUE TAILS, THE PROPER

468
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:22,866
COLLECTIVE NOUN IS

469
00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:23,200
"A NIGHTMARE."

470
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:24,233
"A NIGHTMARE OF OPPOSITE SNAKES

471
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:24,800
IS HOUNDING THAT CAPYBARA."

472
00:12:24,866 --> 00:12:25,700
THEIR MEAT IS INEDIBLE, THEIR

473
00:12:25,766 --> 00:12:26,600
SKIN'S TOXIC, AND THEIR BONES

474
00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:27,433
ARE HAUNTED.

475
00:12:27,533 --> 00:12:28,066
IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS

476
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:29,866
ABOUT OPPOSITE SNAKES, YOU CAN

477
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:30,500
JUST GO TO OppositeSnakes.com TO

478
00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:31,400
LEARN MORE.

479
00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:31,966
ANYWAY, WHAT WERE WE TALKING

480
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:32,400
ABOUT?

481
00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:34,566
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

482
00:12:34,633 --> 00:12:35,466
IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW THERE'S

483
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:42,366
BEEN BOTH SUBSTANTIAL GROWTH AND

484
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:42,933
INCREASING POVERTY, THAT IS

485
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:43,766
BECAUSE INDIA'S ECONOMIC GAINS

486
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:44,533
HAVE BEEN WIDELY UNEQUAL.

487
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,233
BY SOME ESTIMATES, JUST

488
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,366
1 MILLION PEOPLE NOW CONTROL

489
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,300
AROUND 80% OF INDIA'S WEALTH.

490
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:48,100
AND AS THEY'VE GOTTEN RICHER,

491
00:12:48,165 --> 00:12:49,500
MUCH OF THE COUNTRY HAS GOTTEN

492
00:12:49,566 --> 00:12:50,933
POORER.

493
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,833
EVEN WITH ALL THOSE BAGS OF

494
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,500
GRAIN WITH HIS FACE ON THEM,

495
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,066
UNDER MODI, THE COUNTRY HAS

496
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,766
FALLEN IN THE GLOBAL HUNGER

497
00:12:58,833 --> 00:12:59,300
INDEX, AND NOW SITS BELOW

498
00:12:59,366 --> 00:13:03,066
NORTH KOREA AND WAR-TORN SUDAN.

499
00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:04,933
AND YOU WOULD THINK THAT ALL

500
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:05,566
THIS WOULD BE FERTILE GROUND FOR

501
00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:07,933
MODI'S CRITICS TO EXPLOIT.

502
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:08,533
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY HARD TO DO

503
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:08,866
THAT IN INDIA.

504
00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:11,266
FOR ONE THING, IT'S DIFFICULT TO

505
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,233
CONFRONT HIM TO HIS FACE,

506
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,333
BECAUSE HE HASN'T HELD A SINGLE

507
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:14,966
PRESS CONFERENCE IN INDIA IN THE

508
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:18,200
LAST TEN YEARS.

509
00:13:18,266 --> 00:13:21,933
AND THE INTERVIEWS THAT HE'S

510
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,033
GRANTED HAVE BEEN THE EXACT

511
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:23,866
OPPOSITE OF HARD-HITTING.

512
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,166
>> DO YOU CARRY A PURSE ON YOU?

513
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:27,433
A WALLET TO HOLD YOUR CASH?

514
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:30,233
>> DO YOU HAVE A BEST FRIEND?

515
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,766
BEST FRIEND FOREVER, WITH WHOM

516
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:35,000
YOU SHARE MATTERS OF THE HEART?

517
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,100
>> AT THIS AGE, HOW DO YOU BRING

518
00:13:37,165 --> 00:13:38,466
SO MUCH ENERGY?

519
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,433
>> DOES OUR PRIME MINISTER EAT

520
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,966
MANGOES?

521
00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:43,466
DOES HE CUT IT FIRST OR EAT IT

522
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,066
WITH THE STONE STILL IN?

523
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:46,233
>> John: OKAY, MOST OF THOSE

524
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:47,266
QUESTIONS ARE EMBARRASSING

525
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,733
SOFTBALLS, BUT "HOW DO YOU EAT A

526
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,000
MANGO?" IS A VALID THING TO ASK.

527
00:13:52,066 --> 00:13:52,633
MANGOES ARE NOTORIOUSLY HARD TO

528
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,433
PEEL AND EAT.

529
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,233
THEY'RE BASICALLY FRUIT JUICE

530
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,400
GRENADES COVERED IN RHINO SKIN.

531
00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:57,033
AND IT'S NOT JUST ME WHO THINKS

532
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,733
THAT.

533
00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,566
THERE ARE ENDLESS REDDIT POSTS

534
00:13:59,633 --> 00:14:00,400
ABOUT THE SUBJECT, INCLUDING

535
00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:00,933
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU EAT A

536
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,766
MANGO?"

537
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,400
"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EAT A

538
00:14:04,466 --> 00:14:05,833
MANGO?"

539
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:06,766
"MANGO EATERS OF REDDIT, WHAT IS

540
00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:08,566
YOUR GO-TO PLAN OF ATTACK?"

541
00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:09,866
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE,

542
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:10,533
"HOW DOES ONE EAT A MANGO

543
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,566
WITHOUT MAKING A HUGE MESS?

544
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:12,833
WITH A SPOON?

545
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,733
WITH A KNIFE?

546
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,233
IT'S LIKE THAT FRUIT WAS

547
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:15,633
DESIGNED BY NAPKIN

548
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,366
MANUFACTURERS."

549
00:14:18,433 --> 00:14:19,600
WHICH RECEIVED THE PITCH PERFECT

550
00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,333
RESPONSE: "YOU DO NOT.

551
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,933
YOU ACCEPT THAT THE MANGO IS A

552
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:23,633
DELICIOUS MESS AND PREPARE FOR

553
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:24,700
IT BEFOREHAND.

554
00:14:24,766 --> 00:14:28,700
DO NOT MAKE THE MANGO PREPARE

555
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:28,933
FOR YOU.

556
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:29,866
YOU MAY NEED A BIB AND MOIST

557
00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:30,966
TOWELETTES FOR THE PROCESS, BUT

558
00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:31,733
THIS IS SIMPLY THE WAY IT MUST

559
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:32,665
BE."

560
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:34,466
WHICH IS EXCELLENT.

561
00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:35,066
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE, THERE IS NO

562
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,300
WAY TO EAT A MANGO WITH DIGNITY.

563
00:14:37,366 --> 00:14:38,233
ERGO, EMBRACE THE SLOPPY CHAOS

564
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,433
OF THE MANGO.

565
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,200
BUT IT IS NOT JUST FAWNING

566
00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:43,966
INTERVIEWS.

567
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:46,566
WHAT CRITICISM THERE IS OF MODI

568
00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:47,566
OFTEN GETS SUPPRESSED IN INDIA,

569
00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:48,833
SOMETIMES IN A PRETTY

570
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:49,900
HEAVY-HANDED WAY.

571
00:14:49,966 --> 00:14:52,566
>> PUBLICATIONS THAT HAVE DONE

572
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,300
STORIES CRITICAL OF INDIA'S

573
00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:54,466
LEADERSHIP, LIKE THE BBC,

574
00:14:54,533 --> 00:14:56,500
RECENTLY SAW THEIR OFFICES

575
00:14:56,566 --> 00:14:57,833
RAIDED ON CHARGES OF TAX EVASION

576
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,200
OR MONEY LAUNDERING.

577
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,266
ONE OF THE COUNTRY'S MOST

578
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:02,133
POPULAR NEWS CHANNELS THAT

579
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,633
REPORTED CRITICALLY ON THE

580
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:05,166
GOVERNMENT, NDTV, HAD ITS

581
00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:06,233
FOUNDERS RAIDED FOR BANK FRAUD.

582
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,566
>> John: IT'S TRUE.

583
00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:09,700
NOT ONLY WERE THE FOUNDERS OF

584
00:15:09,766 --> 00:15:12,133
NDTV RAIDED, BUT A FEW YEARS

585
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,600
LATER, A BILLIONAIRE WITH CLOSE

586
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:15,000
TIES TO MODI BOUGHT IT, AND ITS

587
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:15,933
TONE IS NOW MUCH FRIENDLIER TO

588
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:16,533
HIM.

589
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,800
BASICALLY, IF YOU CRITICIZE

590
00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:20,000
MODI, THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD

591
00:15:20,066 --> 00:15:20,933
CHANCE THINGS ARE GOING TO GET

592
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,433
VERY UNPLEASANT FOR YOU.

593
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,966
AND GIVEN THAT WE'RE HERE IN

594
00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:25,900
AMERICA, I'M HONESLTY NOT TOO

595
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,733
WORRIED ABOUT MODI'S GOONS

596
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:28,100
COMING AFTER ME.

597
00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:28,666
BUT ON THE OFF CHANCE THEIR

598
00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:29,300
REACH DOES EXTEND THIS FAR, YOU

599
00:15:29,366 --> 00:15:29,566
KNOW WHAT?

600
00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:30,666
FUCKING TRY IT.

601
00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:31,833
YOU WANT TO TRY AND SHUT US DOWN

602
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:32,733
FOR BEING CRITICAL?

603
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:33,800
I DARE YOU.

604
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:37,100
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?

605
00:15:37,165 --> 00:15:40,966
I'M BILL FUCKING MAHER, AND MY

606
00:15:41,033 --> 00:15:41,866
SHOW HAS BEEN ON FOR --

607
00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:43,133
HOLY SHIT -- OVER 20 YEARS NOW,

608
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:43,766
AND IF YOU WANT TO TAKE US DOWN,

609
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:47,766
TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT.

610
00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:50,066
I, BILL MAHER, WOULD WELCOME IT.

611
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,433
IT IS NO WONDER THAT INDIA'S

612
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,833
CURRENTLY RANKED 159TH OUT OF

613
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,466
180 COUNTRIES FOR PRESS FREEDOM.

614
00:15:56,533 --> 00:15:57,033
THAT IS 19 PLACES LOWER THAN

615
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,266
WHEN MODI FIRST CAME TO POWER.

616
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:58,800
BUT IT'S NOT JUST NATIONAL

617
00:15:58,866 --> 00:15:59,200
MEDIA.

618
00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:00,433
LOCAL OUTLETS HAVE BEEN

619
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:01,666
TARGETED, TOO.

620
00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:03,533
THIS NETWORK IN KERALA WAS

621
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,133
SUDDENLY TAKEN OFF AIR BY THE

622
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,100
GOVERNMENT IN 2020, FOR REASONS

623
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:08,600
EXPLICITLY LINKED TO ITS

624
00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:08,833
CONTENT.

625
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,033
>> THE SHUTDOWN WAS TRIGGERED BY

626
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,100
THE CHANNEL'S REPORTING ON

627
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,166
ANTI-MUSLIM RIOTS IN DELHI IN

628
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:17,266
FEBRUARY 2020.

629
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,200
ACCORDING TO THE NOTICE FROM THE

630
00:16:18,266 --> 00:16:20,000
INFORMATION MINISTRY,

631
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,166
MEDIA ONE'S COVERAGE WAS BIASED

632
00:16:21,266 --> 00:16:22,833
AND CRITICAL OF THE ROLE OF THE

633
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,200
DELHI POLICE AND OF A HINDU

634
00:16:24,266 --> 00:16:25,900
NATIONALIST OUTFIT, THE RSS.

635
00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:29,466
THE BAN WAS SOON REVERSED, THE

636
00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,833
CHANNEL BACK ON AIR.

637
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:32,733
BUT THE SIGNAL WAS CLEAR: FALL

638
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,133
IN LINE OR ELSE.

639
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,400
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.

640
00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:36,933
BECAUSE THAT CRACKDOWN CREATES A

641
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,866
CLEAR CHILLING EFFECT WHERE

642
00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:40,100
MEDIA OUTLETS MAY WELL BE

643
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:40,733
INTIMIDATED OUT OF CRITICIZING

644
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,766
MODI.

645
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:44,933
WHY HOTSTAR, THE PLATFORM WE

646
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,533
WERE ON IN 2020, MYSTERIOUSLY

647
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,066
CHOSE TO BLOCK OUR EPISODE

648
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:48,466
CRITICIZING MODI.

649
00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:50,165
AND LOOK, THERE ARE PLENTY OF

650
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:51,933
REASONS TO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW.

651
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,900
DEPRESSING SUBJECT MATTER, TOO

652
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:55,500
MUCH PROFANITY, AND THE VERY

653
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,433
FACT THE FRANTIC PACE OF MY

654
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,266
TALKING VOICE CAUSES DOGS TO --

655
00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,165
AND THIS IS A MEDICAL TERM --

656
00:16:58,233 --> 00:17:00,366
"GO NUTS."

657
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:02,233
ALSO, THE SHOW SEEMS BIASED,

658
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,366
IT'S TOO LONG, "I PREFER

659
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:05,000
JIMMY FALLON, KIMMEL, COLBERT,

660
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:05,500
SETH, OR JAMES CORDEN."

661
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,933
HI, MOM.

662
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,733
WHATEVER YOUR REASON, AT LEAST

663
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:09,833
IT'S YOUR CHOICE -- NOT SOMEONE

664
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,400
ELSE'S -- TO NOT WATCH.

665
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,099
WHAT I'M SAYING IS, MEANINGFUL

666
00:17:14,165 --> 00:17:15,599
CRITICISM OF MODI IS SCARCE ON

667
00:17:15,665 --> 00:17:16,433
TV IN INDIA.

668
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,300
IN FACT, MANY VETERAN ANCHORS

669
00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:19,566
WHO WERE CRITICAL OF HIM HAVE

670
00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:21,566
MIGRATED TO SITES LIKE YOUTUBE

671
00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:22,766
INSTEAD, BUT THE GOVERNMENT MAY

672
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:26,066
SOON BE ABLE TO HEAVILY REGULATE

673
00:17:26,133 --> 00:17:27,099
DIGITAL MEDIA, TOO.

674
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,066
IT'S PUSHING A LAW WHICH COULD

675
00:17:28,165 --> 00:17:29,000
MEAN THAT ANYONE MAKING SOCIAL

676
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,266
COMMENTARY ONLINE WOULD HAVE TO

677
00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:31,700
ADHERE TO ADVERTISING AND

678
00:17:31,766 --> 00:17:32,333
PROGRAM CODES PRESCRIBED BY THE

679
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,333
GOVERNMENT.

680
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,300
MEANWHILE, AN AMENDMENT IS

681
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:36,666
WORKING ITS WAY THROUGH THE

682
00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:37,466
COURTS, WHICH WOULD ESTABLISH A

683
00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:40,300
FACT-CHECK UNIT, ALLOWING THE

684
00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:40,766
GOVERNMENT TO IDENTIFY

685
00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:41,366
"FAKE NEWS" ABOUT ITSELF AND

686
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,400
ORDER IT TO BE TAKEN DOWN.

687
00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:45,300
AND I ACTUALLY HAVE A LEAD FOR

688
00:17:45,366 --> 00:17:47,400
THAT FACT-CHECK UNIT: CHECK OUT

689
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:48,666
THE BATSHIT CLAIM THAT MODI

690
00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:50,200
STOPPED THE WAR IN UKRAINE.

691
00:17:50,266 --> 00:17:52,166
BECAUSE THERE'S A WEIRD VIDEO

692
00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:52,766
GOING AROUND THAT YOU SHOULD

693
00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:54,500
PROBABLY GET TAKEN DOWN.

694
00:17:54,566 --> 00:17:55,933
AND IT'S NOT JUST THE PRESS

695
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:56,566
WHO'VE FOUND IT HARD TO TAKE ON

696
00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:57,300
MODI.

697
00:17:57,366 --> 00:17:59,166
THE SAME GOES FOR HIS POLITICAL

698
00:17:59,233 --> 00:17:59,666
OPPOSITION.

699
00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:00,566
HE'S CURRENTLY FACING OFF

700
00:18:00,666 --> 00:18:04,366
AGAINST A COALITION CALLED THE

701
00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:04,966
"INDIAN NATIONAL DEVELOPMENTAL

702
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:07,100
INCLUSIVE ALLIANCE" -- OR

703
00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:08,500
"INDIA" FOR SHORT -- A

704
00:18:08,566 --> 00:18:09,266
MONUMENTALLY WEAK NAME FOR A

705
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,466
COALITION.

706
00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:13,133
THE FIRST "I" IN "INDIA" STANDS

707
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,500
FOR "INDIAN."

708
00:18:16,566 --> 00:18:18,600
IT'D BE LIKE IF THE "H" IN "HBO"

709
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:19,733
STOOD FOR "HBO."

710
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:20,400
WHICH IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T.

711
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:21,633
IT STANDS FOR "HANK."

712
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,500
"HANK'S BOX OFFICE."

713
00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:26,166
THE INDIA COALITION IS LED BY

714
00:18:26,233 --> 00:18:28,333
THE CONGRESS PARTY, THE FACE OF

715
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,066
WHICH IS RAHUL GANDHI.

716
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,433
AND WHILE HIS PARTY NEVER STOOD

717
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:31,900
A REALISTIC CHANCE OF

718
00:18:31,966 --> 00:18:32,733
CHALLENGING MODI, EVEN SO, ITS

719
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,433
CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN SIGNIFICANTLY

720
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,600
HAMPERED BY THE FACT THAT, JUST

721
00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:38,400
WEEKS BEFORE THIS YEAR'S

722
00:18:38,466 --> 00:18:40,200
ELECTION BEGAN, TAX AGENCIES

723
00:18:40,266 --> 00:18:40,733
MOVED TO FREEZE THEIR BANK

724
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:41,000
ACCOUNTS.

725
00:18:41,066 --> 00:18:42,533
AND ON THE SAME DAY THAT WAS

726
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,033
ANNOUNCED, THE HEAD OF ONE OF

727
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:44,700
INDIA'S OTHER OPPOSITION PARTIES

728
00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:46,766
WAS ARRESTED.

729
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:48,100
AND LOOK, THOSE COULD BE JUST

730
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,166
MORE LUCKY, COMPLETE

731
00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:52,833
COINCIDENCES FOR MODI.

732
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:54,033
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT, OVER

733
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,933
THE YEARS, MULTIPLE POLITICIANS

734
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,566
WHO'VE OPPOSED THE BJP HAVE

735
00:18:58,633 --> 00:18:59,866
FOUND THEMSELVES FACING CHARGES

736
00:18:59,933 --> 00:19:00,833
OF FRAUD OR FINANCIAL

737
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,433
MALFEASANCE, ONLY FOR THOSE

738
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,566
CHARGES TO SUDDENLY STALL OR BE

739
00:19:04,633 --> 00:19:06,200
DROPPED WHEN THEY SWITCH PARTIES

740
00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:08,533
AND JOIN THE BJP INSTEAD.

741
00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:09,733
THERE'S EVEN A TERM FOR IT:

742
00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:12,400
"THE WASHING MACHINE," WHERE

743
00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:13,466
SUPPOSEDLY DIRTY POLITICIANS

744
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:14,600
COME OUT CLEAN ONCE THEY SWITCH

745
00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:17,466
SIDES.

746
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:18,033
AND IT IS A COMPLETELY OPEN

747
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:18,833
SECRET THERE.

748
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,700
>> ONE OPPOSITION POLITICIAN WHO

749
00:19:20,766 --> 00:19:23,666
JOINED THE BJP IN 2022 LET THE

750
00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:25,733
CAT OUT OF THE BAG WHEN HE SAID

751
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,366
HE SLEEPS EASIER NOW THAT HE'S A

752
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,933
MEMBER OF THE RULING PARTY.

753
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,366
>> I ALSO HAD TO SWITCH TO THE

754
00:19:30,433 --> 00:19:31,400
BJP.

755
00:19:31,466 --> 00:19:31,966
NOW I AM STRESS AND TENSION

756
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:32,600
FREE.

757
00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:34,066
ALL IS GOOD.

758
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:35,933
NO OFFICIAL INQUIRIES, NO

759
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,733
INVESTIGATION, AND I CAN SLEEP

760
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,600
PEACEFULLY.

761
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:44,466
I AM TENSION FREE.

762
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:46,033
>> John: WOW, IT IS SO

763
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:46,666
UNIVERSALLY UNDERSTOOD, EVERYONE

764
00:19:46,733 --> 00:19:49,933
IN THE AUDIENCE LAUGHED.

765
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:50,533
AND LAUGHED SO HARD, HONESTLY,

766
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,166
I'M A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS.

767
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:52,800
IT KIND OF MAKES ME WONDER IF I

768
00:19:52,866 --> 00:19:53,433
SHOULD HAVE SPENT OUR LAST SHOW

769
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,100
ADMITTING TO POLITICAL

770
00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:58,966
CORRUPTION INSTEAD OF -- WHAT

771
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,500
WERE WE TALKING ABOUT -- CORN?

772
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:01,066
I DID 25 MINUTES ON FUCKING

773
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:01,966
CORN?

774
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,533
AND PEOPLE WATCHED IT?

775
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,333
WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS SHOW?

776
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,900
BUT IN GENERAL, AND TO PUT IT

777
00:20:07,966 --> 00:20:09,366
MILDLY, IT SEEMS GOOD TO BE ON

778
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:11,133
MODI'S GOOD SIDE, AND VERY, VERY

779
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:11,933
BAD TO BE ON HIS BAD SIDE.

780
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:12,966
AND THAT BRINGS US BACK TO HIS

781
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:16,600
ATTACKS ON MUSLIMS.

782
00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,700
AS I MENTIONED EARLIER, HE AND

783
00:20:18,766 --> 00:20:20,000
HIS PARTY ARE ADHERENTS TO

784
00:20:20,066 --> 00:20:20,833
HINDU NATIONALISM, OR

785
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:21,133
"HINDUTVA."

786
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,100
IT USED TO BE A FRINGE IDEOLOGY,

787
00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:23,400
BUT IS NOW MAINSTREAM, AND IT'S

788
00:20:23,466 --> 00:20:24,600
BEEN SAID "NOBODY HAS DONE MORE

789
00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:25,166
TO ADVANCE THIS CAUSE THAN

790
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:27,766
PRIME MINISTER NARENDRA MODI."

791
00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:29,066
AND MUSLIMS, AS INDIA'S LARGEST

792
00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:29,666
RELIGIOUS MINORITY, HAVE BORNE

793
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:31,533
THE BRUNT OF THIS.

794
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,933
EARLIER THIS YEAR, MODI FAMOUSLY

795
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,600
OPENED AN OVER $200 MILLION

796
00:20:35,666 --> 00:20:36,900
HINDU TEMPLE, SHOWING UP

797
00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:40,266
PERSONALLY TO HELP CONSECRATE

798
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:40,433
IT.

799
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,300
WHICH MIGHT SEEM BENIGN, UNTIL

800
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,666
YOU LEARN THAT TEMPLE WAS BUILT

801
00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,600
ON THE FORMER SITE OF THIS

802
00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:46,433
MOSQUE THAT WAS DEMOLISHED BY A

803
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,133
HINDU MOB IN 1992, IN AN

804
00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:49,266
INCIDENT THAT SET OFF RIOTS

805
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,433
REPORTEDLY KILLING OVER 2,000

806
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,333
PEOPLE, MOST OF THEM MUSLIM.

807
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,300
SO IT'S A SITE OF TREMENDOUS

808
00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:56,600
PAIN FOR INDIAN MUSLIMS, AND THE

809
00:20:56,666 --> 00:20:58,266
SYMBOLISM OF OPENING A TEMPLE ON

810
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,400
THAT EXACT SPOT HAS BEEN CALLED

811
00:21:00,466 --> 00:21:02,066
"THE CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT OF A

812
00:21:02,133 --> 00:21:03,466
NATIONAL MOVEMENT AIMED AT

813
00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:04,366
ESTABLISHING HINDU SUPREMACY IN

814
00:21:04,433 --> 00:21:05,333
INDIA."

815
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,300
BUT THE DAMAGE HERE ISN'T JUST

816
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:10,766
SYMBOLIC.

817
00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:13,100
IN THE CLIMATE THAT MODI'S

818
00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:14,333
STOKED, MUSLIMS HAVE BEEN AN

819
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,466
ANIMAL CONSIDERED HOLY TO

820
00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:16,600
HINDUS.

821
00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:18,766
AND THEN THERE'S BEEN THIS.

822
00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:20,833
>> MUSLIM-OWNED BUILDINGS ARE

823
00:21:20,933 --> 00:21:22,466
LITERALLY BEING BULLDOZED IN

824
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:23,866
WHAT THE GOVERNMENT CALLS A

825
00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:25,200
CRACKDOWN ON ILLEGAL

826
00:21:25,266 --> 00:21:26,933
CONSTRUCTION AND ACCUSED

827
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,533
CRIMINALS.

828
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,600
A BRAND OF BULLDOZER JUSTICE ALL

829
00:21:29,666 --> 00:21:32,966
TOO COMMON IN INDIA.

830
00:21:33,033 --> 00:21:34,766
>> John: THAT IS AWFUL.

831
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:36,266
AND IT'S HAPPENING SO MUCH NOW,

832
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:36,933
"BULLDOZER JUSTICE" HAS BECOME A

833
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:37,833
COMMONLY USED TERM.

834
00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:38,700
IN FACT, THE BULLDOZER ITSELF

835
00:21:38,766 --> 00:21:41,100
HAS BECOME A HINDU-NATIONALIST

836
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,466
SYMBOL, AND IT'S BEEN FEATURED

837
00:21:43,533 --> 00:21:44,966
DURING ELECTION VICTORIES, AND

838
00:21:45,033 --> 00:21:47,033
IN POLITICAL RALLIES.

839
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:47,600
THIS HARDLINE BJP LEADER HAS

840
00:21:47,666 --> 00:21:49,400
EVEN EARNED THE NICKNAME

841
00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:50,500
"BULLDOZER BABA," AND THERE'S

842
00:21:50,566 --> 00:21:52,900
NOW A WHOLE NEW GENRE OF

843
00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:54,000
HINDU-NATIONALIST POP SONGS, OR

844
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:56,333
H-POP AS IT'S ALSO KNOWN, WITH

845
00:21:56,433 --> 00:21:58,066
BULLDOZERS APPEARING FRONT AND

846
00:21:58,133 --> 00:21:59,366
CENTER, INCLUDING THIS ONE,

847
00:21:59,433 --> 00:22:01,266
WHICH -- IF YOU KNEW NOTHING

848
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:04,700
ELSE ABOUT IT -- WOULD SOUND

849
00:22:04,766 --> 00:22:09,200
PRETTY GOOD.

850
00:22:09,266 --> 00:22:11,733
>> ♪ BABA BULLDOZER HAS WON!♪

851
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,800
♪ BABA BULLDOZER HAS WON! ♪

852
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:16,600
♪ THE ENEMIES HAVE BEEN PUT TO

853
00:22:16,666 --> 00:22:17,866
SHAME ♪

854
00:22:17,933 --> 00:22:18,733
♪ BABA BULLDOZER HAS WON ♪

855
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:23,566
♪ THE ENEMIES HAVE BEEN PUT TO

856
00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:25,100
SHAME ♪

857
00:22:25,166 --> 00:22:27,133
>> John: LOOK, I HATE WHAT SHE'S

858
00:22:27,233 --> 00:22:32,333
SAYING, BUT THE WAY SHE'S SAYING

859
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:32,833
IT IS UNDENIABLY CATCHY.

860
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:34,333
ALL THAT BULLDOZER VIDEO REALLY

861
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,166
NEEDED WAS BOB THE BUILDER

862
00:22:35,233 --> 00:22:37,266
SHAKING HIS ASS TO IT.

863
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:38,266
I'M SORRY, DID YOU NOT KNOW

864
00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:38,533
ABOUT BOB?

865
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,733
THERE WERE TWO DUMP TRUCKS ON

866
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,533
THAT SHOW, AND THE BIGGEST ONE

867
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,266
WAS IN HIS OVERALLS.

868
00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:46,033
AND WHILE MUSLIMS ARE A MINORITY

869
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:47,966
IN INDIA, THERE ARE STILL

870
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,166
200 MILLION OF THEM, THE

871
00:22:49,233 --> 00:22:52,400
EQUIVALENT OF NEARLY TWO-THIRDS

872
00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:54,233
OF THE UNITED STATES.

873
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:55,966
AND WITH ANTI-MUSLIM HATE SPEECH

874
00:22:56,033 --> 00:22:58,300
AND VIOLENCE ON THE RISE, IT'S

875
00:22:58,366 --> 00:22:59,733
NO WONDER MANY ARE FEELING

876
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:00,600
INCREASINGLY TARGETED, AND IN

877
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,100
INCREDIBLY GRIM WAYS.

878
00:23:01,166 --> 00:23:03,033
>> MUSLIM SHOPKEEPER

879
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:03,600
SHAMSHER ALI FEELS LIKE HE'S

880
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:06,200
BEING PUSHED OUT.

881
00:23:06,266 --> 00:23:07,833
>> ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT ANY

882
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:09,866
POINT.

883
00:23:09,933 --> 00:23:10,500
THAT IS THE AMOUNT OF HATE NOW.

884
00:23:10,566 --> 00:23:13,233
>> VIOLENCE AGAINST MUSLIMS IS

885
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:14,500
ON THE RISE.

886
00:23:14,566 --> 00:23:16,533
A DELHI POLICE OFFICER WAS

887
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,833
CAUGHT ON CAMERA LAST MONTH

888
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:21,100
KICKING A GROUP OF MUSLIM MEN

889
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:23,466
PRAYING BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

890
00:23:23,533 --> 00:23:25,966
THE VIDEO WENT VIRAL.

891
00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:28,800
THE OFFICER SUSPENDED.

892
00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:29,866
ANOTHER POLICE OFFICER ARRESTED

893
00:23:29,933 --> 00:23:32,366
FOR KILLING THREE MUSLIMS ON A

894
00:23:32,433 --> 00:23:32,800
TRAIN, PRAISING THE

895
00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:33,833
PRIME MINISTER WHILE STANDING

896
00:23:33,933 --> 00:23:34,866
OVER THEIR BODIES.

897
00:23:34,966 --> 00:23:35,366
>> John: YEAH.

898
00:23:35,433 --> 00:23:39,866
AND IT'S WORTH REMEMBERING,

899
00:23:39,933 --> 00:23:40,633
THAT IS NOT A BUG OF MODI'S

900
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:42,366
LEADERSHIP.

901
00:23:42,433 --> 00:23:42,733
IT IS A FEATURE.

902
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:43,333
SO GIVEN ALL THIS, WHAT CAN WE

903
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:43,500
DO?

904
00:23:43,566 --> 00:23:44,400
WELL, FOR THOSE OF US WHO DON'T

905
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:47,600
LIVE IN INDIA, NOTHING REALLY.

906
00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:48,933
ALSO, ASKING A BRITISH PERSON,

907
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,100
"WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT INDIA?"

908
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:51,733
IS A LITTLE BIT DANGEROUS, AS WE

909
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:52,300
TEND TO HAVE QUITE A LOT OF

910
00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:53,233
IDEAS, NONE OF WHICH SHOULD BE

911
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:53,533
LISTENED TO.

912
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,000
BUT AS AN INTERNATIONAL

913
00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:56,066
COMMUNITY, IT SEEMS PAST TIME TO

914
00:23:56,133 --> 00:23:57,966
STOP THE UNCRITICAL FAWNING

915
00:23:58,033 --> 00:24:00,200
PRAISE OF A MAN WHO IS, TO PUT

916
00:24:00,266 --> 00:24:00,933
IT MILDLY, A DEEPLY COMPLICATED

917
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,833
FIGURE.

918
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:06,466
SO MAYBE WE COULD AT LEAST STOP

919
00:24:06,533 --> 00:24:07,000
COMPARING HIM TO

920
00:24:07,066 --> 00:24:07,633
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, AND WHEN YOU

921
00:24:07,733 --> 00:24:08,533
TALK ABOUT WHAT HE'S DONE FOR

922
00:24:08,633 --> 00:24:09,800
INDIA, AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT

923
00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:11,333
WHILE, YES, HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR

924
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:11,966
GIVING BAGS OF GRAIN TO PEOPLE,

925
00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:12,566
HE'S ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME

926
00:24:12,633 --> 00:24:13,766
GETTING SENT BULLDOZERS.

927
00:24:13,833 --> 00:24:14,600
AND IT SHOULD BE POSSIBLE TO

928
00:24:14,666 --> 00:24:17,400
ACKNOWLEDGE THE GOOD THINGS

929
00:24:17,466 --> 00:24:18,066
MODI'S MANAGED TO DO FOR INDIA,

930
00:24:18,133 --> 00:24:19,233
WHILE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT MANY

931
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,933
INDIANS LIVE IN ACTIVE FEAR OF

932
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,066
WHAT HE SEEMS MORE THAN HAPPY TO

933
00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:23,333
REPRESENT.

934
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:24,833
AND I KNOW THIS EPISODE IS

935
00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:25,466
ALMOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO

936
00:24:25,533 --> 00:24:26,900
END UP AIRING IN INDIA.

937
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,100
AND DEPENDING ON WHAT THEY DO

938
00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:29,433
WITH THE LAWS AROUND YOUTUBE,

939
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:32,533
I'M NOT TOTALLY SURE WHAT'LL

940
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,266
HAPPEN TO IT THERE, EITHER.

941
00:24:33,333 --> 00:24:33,900
SO IF THIS SHOW DOES GET TAKEN

942
00:24:33,966 --> 00:24:34,866
DOWN, AND IF YOU HAVE FRIENDS OR

943
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:37,233
FAMILY LIVING IN INDIA WHO'D

944
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:40,400
LIKE TO SEE IT, JUST ENCOURAGE

945
00:24:40,466 --> 00:24:41,466
THEM TO VISIT OppositeSnakes.com

946
00:24:41,566 --> 00:24:43,833
WHERE THEY'LL THEY'LL FIND TONS

947
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:44,733
OF FASCINATING FACTS ON OPPOSITE

948
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:45,700
SNAKES, AS WELL AS A 25-MINUTE

949
00:24:45,766 --> 00:24:46,700
VIDEO TITLED "OPPOSITE SNAKES"

950
00:24:46,766 --> 00:24:47,300
WHICH IS, IN FACT, THIS ENTIRE

951
00:24:47,366 --> 00:24:49,866
STORY.

952
00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:53,666
ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN SEND THEM

953
00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,300
TO "HowToEatMangoes.com," WHICH

954
00:24:55,366 --> 00:24:56,133
FEATURES THIS VIDEO, PROMISING

955
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,100
TIPS IN HINDI ON MANGO-EATING

956
00:24:58,166 --> 00:24:59,066
TECHNIQUE, BUT IS, AGAIN, THIS

957
00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:01,833
ENTIRE STORY INSTEAD.

958
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:03,733
AND IF ANY OF MODI'S PEOPLE TAKE

959
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,300
OFFENSE AT THIS, LET ME JUST

960
00:25:04,366 --> 00:25:04,933
REPEAT, I'M NOT REMOTELY SCARED

961
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,533
OF YOU.

962
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:07,966
IN FACT, I'LL MEET YOU, AND YOUR

963
00:25:08,033 --> 00:25:11,233
STUPID BULLDOZERS, IN FRONT OF

964
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:12,866
THIS STUDIO, RIGHT HERE IN

965
00:25:12,933 --> 00:25:13,466
LOS ANGELES, OR MY NAME ISN'T

966
00:25:13,533 --> 00:25:16,333
BILL MAHER.

967
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:16,800
WHICH IT VERY MUCH IS.

968
00:25:16,866 --> 00:25:17,500
AND NOW THIS.

969
00:25:17,566 --> 00:25:23,833
>> Announcer AND NOW...

970
00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:25,366
FOX BUSINESS' KENNEDY REFLECTS

971
00:25:25,433 --> 00:25:27,133
ON HER PROM NIGHT.

972
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:27,900
>> AUTHORITIES WERE FORCED TO

973
00:25:27,966 --> 00:25:29,400
BRING IN AN EMERGENCY CREW TO

974
00:25:29,466 --> 00:25:31,066
RAISE THE BELEAGUERED BOAT.

975
00:25:31,133 --> 00:25:32,400
ONCE THEY GOT EVERYTHING

976
00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:33,833
STRAPPED ON, IT ONLY TOOK A FEW

977
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:36,100
MINUTES TO FINISH THE JOB.

978
00:25:36,166 --> 00:25:38,833
JUST LIKE MY PROM NIGHT.

979
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:39,800
REPUBLICANS HAVE ALSO CALLED

980
00:25:39,866 --> 00:25:41,233
BECAUSE THE PROJECT IS MUCH

981
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:43,033
SMALLER THAN INITIALLY PLANNED,

982
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:43,833
LIKE MY PROM NIGHT.

983
00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:46,566
>> GREAT TO BE WITH NO PANTS

984
00:25:46,666 --> 00:25:47,066
ON --

985
00:25:47,133 --> 00:25:48,333
>> DEPENDS WHERE WE ARE, YOU

986
00:25:48,433 --> 00:25:48,566
KNOW?

987
00:25:48,633 --> 00:25:50,833
DID I SAY THAT ON PROM NIGHT?

988
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,233
PERSONALLY, I GOT TONS OF THEM

989
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:54,266
LIKE THIS BECAUSE MY PROM DATE

990
00:25:54,333 --> 00:25:56,500
USED TO PUT THEM ALL OVER MY

991
00:25:56,566 --> 00:25:58,133
FACE.

992
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:02,300
>> JUGGLING MORE BALLS THAN ANY

993
00:26:02,366 --> 00:26:03,300
HUMAN SHOWED.

994
00:26:03,366 --> 00:26:03,933
JUST LIKE MY PROM NIGHT.

995
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,333
>> THE NEW APPLE CONNECTS USERS

996
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,966
OF THE SERIES OF RANDOM

997
00:26:09,033 --> 00:26:09,766
STRANGERS FOR 4 MINUTES AT A

998
00:26:09,833 --> 00:26:10,833
TIME.

999
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:11,066
[LAUGHS]

1000
00:26:11,133 --> 00:26:12,133
JUST LIKE MY PROM NIGHT!

1001
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,100
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I

1002
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:15,966
HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MANY TROUSER

1003
00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:17,733
SNAKES SINCE MY PROM NIGHT!

1004
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,166
CHECK OUT THE DONNER PASS IN

1005
00:26:20,266 --> 00:26:21,100
LAKE TAHOE, CALIFORNIA, GETTING

1006
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:21,533
PLOWED BY A TRAIN.

1007
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,800
[LAUGHS]

1008
00:26:22,866 --> 00:26:25,766
DOES LIKE MY PROM NIGHT!

1009
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:27,700
WHOO!

1010
00:26:27,766 --> 00:26:30,433
MASSIVE HOLE IS NOW 60 METERS

1011
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:31,600
WIDE, AND 20 METERS DEEP.

1012
00:26:31,666 --> 00:26:31,833
[LAUGHS]

1013
00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:34,500
JUST LIKE MY PROM NIGHT.

1014
00:26:34,566 --> 00:26:37,200
IT IS 2021 LOST AND FOUND INDEX

1015
00:26:37,266 --> 00:26:38,866
WITH DETAILS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO

1016
00:26:38,933 --> 00:26:40,666
LOST SOMETHING IN BACKSEATS OF

1017
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:41,833
THEIR CARS.

1018
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:42,066
[LAUGHS]

1019
00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:45,466
JUST LIKE MY PROM NIGHT!

1020
00:26:45,533 --> 00:26:45,900
15 TIMES.

1021
00:26:45,966 --> 00:26:46,300
I MISS PROM NIGHT.

1022
00:26:46,366 --> 00:26:48,066
♪ ♪

1023
00:26:48,133 --> 00:26:49,366
>> John: MOVING ON.

1024
00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:51,533
FINALLY TONIGHT, A WORD ABOUT

1025
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:51,833
RED LOBSTER.

1026
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,400
ONE OF MANY RESTAURANTS THAT

1027
00:26:53,466 --> 00:26:54,400
SOUNDS LIKE A SEX POSITION,

1028
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,800
ALONGSIDE JACK IN THE BOX,

1029
00:26:56,866 --> 00:26:57,833
HARD ROCK CAFE, SONIC DRIVE-IN,

1030
00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:00,466
AND, OF COURSE, FIVE GUYS.

1031
00:27:00,533 --> 00:27:03,466
AS YOU MAY'VE HEARD, RED LOBSTER

1032
00:27:03,533 --> 00:27:04,866
HAS HAD ITSELF A ROUGH MONTH.

1033
00:27:04,933 --> 00:27:06,700
>> WITH NO NOTICE, SIGNS LIKE

1034
00:27:06,766 --> 00:27:07,433
THIS ARE POPPING UP AT

1035
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:09,000
RED LOBSTERS ACROSS THE NATION.

1036
00:27:09,066 --> 00:27:10,900
>> THIS SUDDEN SHUT DOWN HERE IN

1037
00:27:10,966 --> 00:27:13,033
MIRA MESA IS ONE OF DOZENS OF

1038
00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:15,566
ABRUPT CLOSURES NATIONWIDE

1039
00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:17,033
TODAY, AN UNWELCOME SURPRISE TO

1040
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:19,533
LOYAL CUSTOMERS.

1041
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,100
>> SO WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION

1042
00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:20,700
WHEN YOU GOT TO THE -- GOT TO

1043
00:27:20,766 --> 00:27:23,933
THE DOOR?

1044
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:24,566
>> [LAUGHS]

1045
00:27:24,633 --> 00:27:25,366
GOT TO THE DOOR, YOU KNOW WHAT,

1046
00:27:25,433 --> 00:27:25,966
I CAN'T SAY IT ON CAMERA, IS

1047
00:27:26,033 --> 00:27:28,366
WHAT MY REACTION WAS.

1048
00:27:28,466 --> 00:27:28,733
>> John: OKAY.

1049
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,300
ALTHOUGH, I'M NOW A LITTLE

1050
00:27:29,366 --> 00:27:31,666
CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS

1051
00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:32,266
GOING TO SAY, ESPECIALLY GIVEN

1052
00:27:32,333 --> 00:27:34,366
THEY'VE CHOSEN TO BLUR OUT

1053
00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:34,966
WHATEVER WAS ON HIS HAT.

1054
00:27:35,033 --> 00:27:35,500
SO IT MIGHT'VE BEEN PRETTY

1055
00:27:35,566 --> 00:27:36,400
SPICY.

1056
00:27:36,466 --> 00:27:37,000
BUT THE FACT IS, LAST MONTH,

1057
00:27:37,066 --> 00:27:38,300
RED LOBSTER --

1058
00:27:38,366 --> 00:27:40,566
LONG JOHN SILVER'S HOT COUSIN --

1059
00:27:40,633 --> 00:27:41,800
OFFICIALLY FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY.

1060
00:27:41,866 --> 00:27:43,200
AND IT TRIED TO SPIN THIS AS A

1061
00:27:43,266 --> 00:27:45,833
POSITIVE, ISSUING A LETTER TO

1062
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:46,966
CUSTOMERS SAYING, "BANKRUPTCY IS

1063
00:27:47,033 --> 00:27:47,400
A WORD THAT'S OFTEN

1064
00:27:47,466 --> 00:27:48,166
MISUNDERSTOOD.

1065
00:27:48,233 --> 00:27:48,966
FILING FOR BANKRUPTCY DOES NOT

1066
00:27:49,033 --> 00:27:49,700
MEAN WE ARE GOING OUT OF

1067
00:27:49,766 --> 00:27:50,200
BUSINESS.

1068
00:27:50,266 --> 00:27:52,466
IN FACT, IT MEANS JUST THE

1069
00:27:52,533 --> 00:27:52,733
OPPOSITE."

1070
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,100
EXCEPT, NO, IT DOESN'T.

1071
00:27:54,166 --> 00:27:56,433
YOU EITHER DON'T KNOW WHAT

1072
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:57,033
"BANKRUPTCY" MEANS OR WHAT THE

1073
00:27:57,100 --> 00:27:58,900
WORD "OPPOSITE" MEANS.

1074
00:27:58,966 --> 00:27:59,800
BECAUSE WHILE THE COMPANY AS A

1075
00:27:59,866 --> 00:28:01,333
WHOLE ISN'T GOING OUT OF

1076
00:28:01,433 --> 00:28:02,866
BUSINESS, THEY'VE ALREADY

1077
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:03,833
ABRUPTLY CLOSED AT LEAST

1078
00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:05,933
99 RESTAURANTS IN AT LEAST

1079
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,066
27 STATES, AMOUNTING TO 15% OF

1080
00:28:07,133 --> 00:28:09,300
THE CHAIN, AND COULD SHUT DOWN

1081
00:28:09,366 --> 00:28:10,566
120 MORE.

1082
00:28:10,633 --> 00:28:11,166
AND AS THE NEWS SPREAD, IT'S

1083
00:28:11,233 --> 00:28:12,333
NOTABLE THAT WHAT MANY PEOPLE

1084
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:12,900
WERE CONCERNED ABOUT LOSING

1085
00:28:12,966 --> 00:28:15,533
ACCESS TO AT THIS SEAFOOD

1086
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,600
RESTAURANT WASN'T ACTUALLY

1087
00:28:16,666 --> 00:28:17,166
SEAFOOD AT ALL.

1088
00:28:17,233 --> 00:28:18,066
>> WHAT ABOUT THE CHEDDAR BAY

1089
00:28:18,133 --> 00:28:18,800
BISCUITS?

1090
00:28:18,866 --> 00:28:19,800
>> THOSE WERE THE BEST.

1091
00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:20,266
ARE THEY NOT THE BEST?

1092
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:21,600
>> SO GOOD.

1093
00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:23,033
>> IS IT JUST ME, OR DO YOU ALSO

1094
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:24,133
WANT THOSE CHEDDAR BAY BISCUITS?

1095
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,566
>> WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THEM

1096
00:28:25,633 --> 00:28:26,600
ALL MORNING, AND WE ARE HUNGRY.

1097
00:28:26,666 --> 00:28:28,600
>> I LIKE THEIR CHEDDAR BAY

1098
00:28:28,666 --> 00:28:30,000
BISCUITS.

1099
00:28:30,066 --> 00:28:30,466
[LAUGHTER]

1100
00:28:30,533 --> 00:28:32,033
TRIED TO MAKE THEM AT HOME ONE

1101
00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:32,233
TIME.

1102
00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:33,566
THEY SUCKED.

1103
00:28:33,666 --> 00:28:34,233
>> THEY'RE SOFT AND THEN THEY'RE

1104
00:28:34,333 --> 00:28:36,500
BUTTERY AND THEY'RE CHEESY AND

1105
00:28:36,566 --> 00:28:37,400
THEN THEY'RE GARLICKY, AND IT'S,

1106
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:37,966
LIKE, THE PERFECT BISCUIT.

1107
00:28:38,033 --> 00:28:40,633
>> THEY'VE GOT GOOD FOOD.

1108
00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:40,966
GOOD SEAFOOD.

1109
00:28:41,033 --> 00:28:43,366
AND THE BISCUITS JUST SLAP.

1110
00:28:43,433 --> 00:28:43,800
>> John: IT'S TRUE!

1111
00:28:43,866 --> 00:28:45,066
THE BISCUITS ARE SO GOOD THAT

1112
00:28:45,133 --> 00:28:47,233
ANYTIME SOMEONE'S TALKING ABOUT

1113
00:28:47,300 --> 00:28:48,066
RED LOBSTER, THE CONVERSATION

1114
00:28:48,133 --> 00:28:50,300
INEVITABLY TURNS TO THEM.

1115
00:28:50,366 --> 00:28:55,266
YOU COULD CALL 911 AND SAY

1116
00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:56,266
"THERE'S A RED LOBSTER ON FIRE,"

1117
00:28:56,333 --> 00:28:57,266
"OOH, I BET IT'S WARMING UP

1118
00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:59,433
THOSE BISCUITS REAL NICE."

1119
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:00,900
THE POINT IS, A LOT OF PEOPLE

1120
00:29:00,966 --> 00:29:01,666
ARE FOND OF RED LOBSTER -- TO

1121
00:29:01,733 --> 00:29:04,833
THE POINT THAT IT ONCE GOT THE

1122
00:29:04,900 --> 00:29:05,833
ULTIMATE NAME CHECK FROM

1123
00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:06,500
BEYONCE:

1124
00:29:06,566 --> 00:29:07,466
>> ♪ WHEN HE FUCK ME GOOD, I

1125
00:29:07,566 --> 00:29:09,966
TAKE HIS ASS TO RED LOBSTER ♪

1126
00:29:10,033 --> 00:29:10,733
♪ WHEN HE FUCK ME GOOD, I TAKE

1127
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,166
HIS ASS TO RED LOBSTER ♪

1128
00:29:12,233 --> 00:29:14,533
>> John: WOW.

1129
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,033
THAT IS THE SINGLE GREATEST

1130
00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:17,633
ENDORSEMENT A RESTAURANT COULD

1131
00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:19,466
EVER GET.

1132
00:29:19,533 --> 00:29:20,700
IT IS NO WONDER THEIR SALES

1133
00:29:20,766 --> 00:29:23,233
ACTUALLY SPIKED 33% IMMEDIATELY

1134
00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:26,033
AFTER THAT SONG CAME OUT.

1135
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:28,000
ALSO, JUST AS AN ASIDE, HOW DOES

1136
00:29:28,066 --> 00:29:28,866
BEYONCE'S REWARDS SYSTEM WORK?

1137
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:29,966
DO THEY TALK ABOUT IT IN THE

1138
00:29:30,033 --> 00:29:31,100
MOMENT, OR THE NEXT TIME THEY

1139
00:29:31,166 --> 00:29:32,133
DRIVE PAST A RED LOBSTER, IS

1140
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,400
JAY-Z LIKE, "HEY, CAN WE GO?"

1141
00:29:36,466 --> 00:29:37,400
AND BEYONCE HAS TO SEARCH HER

1142
00:29:37,466 --> 00:29:42,333
SEXUAL ARCHIVES TO DETERMINE

1143
00:29:42,433 --> 00:29:43,133
WHETHER OR NOT HE'S BANKED A

1144
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:43,733
TRIP.

1145
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:44,066
I DON'T KNOW.

1146
00:29:44,133 --> 00:29:44,666
I DON'T THINK I WANT TO KNOW.

1147
00:29:44,733 --> 00:29:45,800
I'M JUST POSING THE QUESTION.

1148
00:29:45,866 --> 00:29:47,300
SO HOW THE FUCK DID THIS

1149
00:29:47,366 --> 00:29:47,933
RESTAURANT GET INTO SUCH A MESS

1150
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,033
THAT IT'S GOING INTO BANKRUPTCY?

1151
00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:50,700
WELL, MANY HAVE SPECULATED THAT

1152
00:29:50,766 --> 00:29:52,533
IT'S ALL THANKS TO THEIR

1153
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:53,100
DISASTROUS "ULTIMATE ENDLESS

1154
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:54,566
SHRIMP" SPECIAL.

1155
00:29:54,633 --> 00:29:56,233
MULTIPLE ARTICLES CITED IT WHILE

1156
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:56,800
COVERING THE BANKRUPTCY, AND

1157
00:29:56,866 --> 00:29:59,566
EVEN REGULAR CUSTOMERS ASSUMED

1158
00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:00,700
THAT IT WAS THE MAIN PROBLEM.

1159
00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:01,333
>> THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THE

1160
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:05,833
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHRIMP.

1161
00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:06,433
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE

1162
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:07,566
ARE PIGS, AND THEY'LL JUST KEEP

1163
00:30:07,633 --> 00:30:09,100
EATING.

1164
00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:09,766
>> John: HEY!

1165
00:30:09,833 --> 00:30:10,700
HEY!

1166
00:30:10,766 --> 00:30:11,966
I'M FEELING A LITTLE ATTACKED

1167
00:30:12,033 --> 00:30:13,866
HERE.

1168
00:30:13,933 --> 00:30:16,500
WHAT YOU DON'T SEEM TO

1169
00:30:16,566 --> 00:30:17,066
UNDERSTAND IS THAT UNLIMITED

1170
00:30:17,133 --> 00:30:17,700
SHRIMP IS NOT A SUGGESTION OR A

1171
00:30:17,766 --> 00:30:20,333
RECOMMENDED SERVING SIZE.

1172
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:20,900
IT'S A FUCKING CHALLENGE FOR

1173
00:30:20,966 --> 00:30:21,866
ANYONE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ACCEPT

1174
00:30:21,933 --> 00:30:23,066
IT.

1175
00:30:23,133 --> 00:30:24,000
SO FRANKLY, YOU SHOULD EITHER

1176
00:30:24,066 --> 00:30:26,133
EMBRACE THE MADNESS AND JOIN IN,

1177
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,066
OR JUST GO TO STARBUCKS, WHERE

1178
00:30:27,133 --> 00:30:28,033
YOU GET TO SPEAK FANCY FAKE

1179
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:28,600
ITALIAN TO DISTRACT FROM THE

1180
00:30:28,666 --> 00:30:29,166
FACT THAT IT'S REALLY JUST A

1181
00:30:29,233 --> 00:30:31,766
PUBLIC TOILET WITH MORE RULES.

1182
00:30:31,833 --> 00:30:32,800
BUT WHILE ENDLESS SHRIMP WAS

1183
00:30:32,866 --> 00:30:34,500
UNDENIABLY STUPID, IT WASN'T

1184
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:37,033
ACTUALLY THE CRUCIAL FACTOR IN

1185
00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:39,233
THE COMPANY'S BANKRUPTCY.

1186
00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:40,433
IT COST THEM MORE THAN

1187
00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:41,000
$11 MILLION, BUT GIVEN THEIR

1188
00:30:41,066 --> 00:30:42,000
TOTAL DEBTS STAND AT

1189
00:30:42,066 --> 00:30:43,800
$294 MILLION, IT'S CLEARLY JUST

1190
00:30:43,866 --> 00:30:44,633
A DROP IN THE BUCKET.

1191
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:47,166
THE FACT IS, RED LOBSTER'S

1192
00:30:47,266 --> 00:30:48,566
DECLINE IS ABOUT A LOT MORE THAN

1193
00:30:48,666 --> 00:30:50,266
JUST A SINGLE BAD PROMOTION.

1194
00:30:50,333 --> 00:30:53,566
I'D LIKE TO TAKE JUST A MOMENT

1195
00:30:53,633 --> 00:30:54,133
TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,

1196
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:54,733
BECAUSE IT'S A CASE STUDY FOR

1197
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,033
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO SO MANY

1198
00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:56,866
COMPANIES IN AMERICA.

1199
00:30:56,933 --> 00:30:58,233
AND I'LL SKIP OVER THE EARLY

1200
00:30:58,300 --> 00:30:59,466
YEARS -- SUFFICE IT TO SAY, IT

1201
00:30:59,533 --> 00:31:01,266
WAS FOUNDED IN 1968 BY A MAN

1202
00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:04,733
NAMED BILL DARDEN, SEEN HERE IN

1203
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:05,500
FRONT OF HIS FIRST RESTAURANT,

1204
00:31:05,566 --> 00:31:07,733
"THE GREEN FROG" IN 1938, WHILE

1205
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:08,233
HOLDING A SIGN PROMOTING

1206
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:09,700
SOMETHING CALLED "SWAMP BOY

1207
00:31:09,766 --> 00:31:10,333
BREAKFAST" -- WHICH I ASSUME IS

1208
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:10,966
LIKE "GIRL DINNER," BUT IN THE

1209
00:31:11,033 --> 00:31:13,933
MORNING AND FOR MALE CROCODILES.

1210
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,566
WHEN DARDEN STARTED RED LOBSTER,

1211
00:31:16,633 --> 00:31:17,600
IT WAS AN IMMEDIATE HIT, AND BY

1212
00:31:17,666 --> 00:31:21,466
1978, IT HAD 236 RESTAURANTS

1213
00:31:21,566 --> 00:31:22,000
ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY.

1214
00:31:22,066 --> 00:31:22,933
IT EVEN BECAME THE FIRST CASUAL

1215
00:31:23,033 --> 00:31:23,833
DINING CHAIN TO ADVERTISE ON

1216
00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:24,633
NETWORK TV.

1217
00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:25,400
AND OVER THE YEARS, IT'S HAD

1218
00:31:25,466 --> 00:31:28,433
SOME GREAT ADS, FEATURING LEMONS

1219
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:29,000
BEING SQUEEZED OVER VARIOUS

1220
00:31:29,066 --> 00:31:29,900
SEAFOOD PRODUCTS, AND EVEN LAST

1221
00:31:29,966 --> 00:31:32,166
YEAR, THE COOPTING OF A

1222
00:31:32,233 --> 00:31:33,466
SHIRLEY CAESAR CLASSIC.

1223
00:31:33,533 --> 00:31:36,133
>> ♪ WE GOT TAILS, SHRIMP,

1224
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,166
WAITER, POTATOES, SAUCES FOR

1225
00:31:37,233 --> 00:31:38,400
BOSSES, CHEDDAR BAY STUFFING ♪

1226
00:31:38,466 --> 00:31:39,800
♪ TAILS, SHRIMP, WAITERS,

1227
00:31:39,866 --> 00:31:40,400
POTATOES ♪

1228
00:31:40,466 --> 00:31:40,933
♪ TAILS, SHRIMP, WAITERS,

1229
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,766
POTATOES ♪

1230
00:31:42,833 --> 00:31:43,400
♪ TAILS, SHRIMP ♪

1231
00:31:43,466 --> 00:31:44,566
♪ TAILS, SHRIMP ♪

1232
00:31:44,633 --> 00:31:45,900
♪ TAILS, TAILS ♪

1233
00:31:45,966 --> 00:31:47,133
♪ TAILS, TAILS ♪

1234
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:47,800
>> THREE LOBSTER AND SHRIMP

1235
00:31:47,866 --> 00:31:50,600
ENTREES FOR A LIMITED TIME.

1236
00:31:50,666 --> 00:31:56,233
>> ♪ COME TASTE IT ♪

1237
00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:57,866
>> John: THAT IS FANTASTIC.

1238
00:31:57,933 --> 00:31:59,566
THOUGH IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD FOR A

1239
00:31:59,633 --> 00:32:00,733
RESTAURANT TO BOAST ABOUT HAVING

1240
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:01,866
WAITERS.

1241
00:32:01,933 --> 00:32:04,066
THAT'S A PRETTY BASIC COMPONENT

1242
00:32:04,133 --> 00:32:04,766
OF SIT-DOWN RESTAURANTS!

1243
00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:05,333
THEY MAY AS WELL BE PROUDLY

1244
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,733
ANNOUNCING THEY HAVE A STOVE AND

1245
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:07,466
SOME PLATES.

1246
00:32:07,533 --> 00:32:08,033
BUT IN THE EARLY 2010s, THE

1247
00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,833
CHAIN HAD A FEW YEARS OF

1248
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:11,400
SLUGGISH SALES, AND IN 2014,

1249
00:32:11,466 --> 00:32:11,933
ITS PARENT COMPANY, DARDEN

1250
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,366
RESTAURANTS, SOLD RED LOBSTER

1251
00:32:13,433 --> 00:32:14,833
OFF TO A PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM

1252
00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:16,400
CALLED GOLDEN GATE CAPITAL FOR

1253
00:32:16,466 --> 00:32:17,933
$2.1 BILLION.

1254
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,133
AND THAT PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM DID

1255
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,300
EXACTLY WHAT PRIVATE EQUITY

1256
00:32:22,366 --> 00:32:25,333
FIRMS ALWAYS DO: IMMEDIATELY TRY

1257
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:25,933
AND SUCK THE VALUE OUT OF THE

1258
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:26,166
COMPANY.

1259
00:32:26,233 --> 00:32:28,300
IN FACT, ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS

1260
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:28,900
GOLDEN GATE DID WAS SELL OFF

1261
00:32:28,966 --> 00:32:29,866
RED LOBSTER'S REAL ESTATE AND

1262
00:32:29,933 --> 00:32:31,900
THEN IMMEDIATELY LEASE THE

1263
00:32:31,966 --> 00:32:32,733
RESTAURANTS BACK.

1264
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,666
MEANING RED LOBSTER NOW HAD TO

1265
00:32:35,733 --> 00:32:37,366
PAY RENT ON STORES THAT IT HAD

1266
00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:39,933
PREVIOUSLY OWNED, SETTING IT ON

1267
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,533
A DOWNWARD SPIRAL, AS THE RENT

1268
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,466
THEY WERE SUDDENLY PAYING WAS

1269
00:32:41,533 --> 00:32:42,000
ABOUT $118 MILLION A YEAR,

1270
00:32:42,066 --> 00:32:43,933
ROUGHLY HALF THE CHAIN'S ANNUAL

1271
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,766
EARNINGS.

1272
00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:47,533
IT WAS TERRIBLE FOR RED LOBSTER,

1273
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,266
BUT PRETTY GREAT FOR

1274
00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:50,300
GOLDEN GATE, BECAUSE THAT

1275
00:32:50,366 --> 00:32:51,933
REAL ESTATE DEAL COVERED MOST OF

1276
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000
WHAT IT HAD PAID FOR THE COMPANY

1277
00:32:53,066 --> 00:32:55,100
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

1278
00:32:55,166 --> 00:32:57,033
VERY BASICALLY, RED LOBSTER GOT

1279
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,233
FUCKED -- FUCKED SO GOOD, IN

1280
00:32:59,300 --> 00:32:59,833
FACT, IT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE

1281
00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:00,566
TAKEN GOLDEN GATE'S ASS TO

1282
00:33:00,666 --> 00:33:04,466
RED LOBSTER.

1283
00:33:04,533 --> 00:33:05,600
AND IN 2020, GOLDEN GATE SOLD

1284
00:33:05,666 --> 00:33:07,633
OFF WHAT REMAINED OF THE

1285
00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:08,600
COMPANY, AND THAI UNION, A MAJOR

1286
00:33:08,666 --> 00:33:11,133
SEAFOOD SUPPLIER WITH NO

1287
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,033
EXPERIENCE IN RUNNING

1288
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:13,333
RESTAURANTS, BECAME THE LEADING

1289
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:13,733
SHAREHOLDER.

1290
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:14,600
NOW INITIALLY, IT SAID IT

1291
00:33:14,666 --> 00:33:15,366
WOULDN'T GET INVOLVED IN

1292
00:33:15,433 --> 00:33:16,633
DAY-TO-DAY OPERATIONS, BUT

1293
00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:18,533
PRETTY SOON, DOZENS OF VETERAN

1294
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,100
RED LOBSTER LEADERS WERE FIRED

1295
00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:21,900
OR RESIGNED, AND RED LOBSTER

1296
00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:22,866
ENDED UP HAVING FIVE CEOs IN

1297
00:33:22,933 --> 00:33:25,500
FIVE YEARS -- A LEVEL OF

1298
00:33:25,566 --> 00:33:28,533
CORPORATE TURNOVER USUALLY

1299
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:29,633
RESERVED FOR WHOEVER OWNS

1300
00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:31,166
FUCKING HBO.

1301
00:33:31,233 --> 00:33:32,533
THEY ALSO INSTITUTED COST-SAVING

1302
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:33,833
MEASURES, FROM SQUEEZING

1303
00:33:33,933 --> 00:33:36,433
WAITSTAFF BY SWITCHING FROM

1304
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:38,000
SERVERS COVERING THREE TABLES TO

1305
00:33:38,066 --> 00:33:40,433
TEN, TO CHARGING FOR A SIDE

1306
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:41,133
SALAD FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME,

1307
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,166
AND LEAVING TAILS ON SHRIMP IN

1308
00:33:42,233 --> 00:33:43,966
PASTA.

1309
00:33:44,033 --> 00:33:44,566
WHICH SUDDENLY MAKES IT A LOT

1310
00:33:44,633 --> 00:33:49,533
LESS FUN THAT THEY WERE TELLING

1311
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:50,466
CUSTOMERS TO EXPECT THIS.

1312
00:33:50,533 --> 00:33:52,500
>> ♪ TAILS, SHRIMP TAILS, SHRIMP

1313
00:33:52,566 --> 00:33:53,700
TAILS, TAILS, TAILS, TAILS ♪

1314
00:33:53,766 --> 00:33:54,466
>> John: YEAH, THERE'S GONNA BE

1315
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:56,066
UNWANTED TAILS FUCKING

1316
00:33:56,133 --> 00:33:58,233
EVERYWHERE.

1317
00:33:58,300 --> 00:33:59,466
HOPE EVERYONE IS OKAY WITH THAT.

1318
00:33:59,533 --> 00:34:00,700
AND ALL THIS BRINGS US BACK TO

1319
00:34:00,766 --> 00:34:02,100
THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID "ENDLESS

1320
00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:05,100
SHRIMP FOR $20" PROMOTION.

1321
00:34:05,166 --> 00:34:05,733
EVEN AT THE TIME, IT SEEMED LIKE

1322
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:06,100
A VERY BAD IDEA.

1323
00:34:06,166 --> 00:34:06,966
THEIR CEO WAS REPORTEDLY WARNED

1324
00:34:07,066 --> 00:34:08,366
BY THE COMPANY'S LEADERS THAT

1325
00:34:08,466 --> 00:34:08,966
$20 WAS TOO CHEAP TO MAKE A

1326
00:34:09,033 --> 00:34:09,333
PROFIT.

1327
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,533
AND THEY WERE RIGHT.

1328
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,699
BECAUSE EVEN AS THE COMPANY

1329
00:34:13,766 --> 00:34:16,600
RAISED THE PRICE TO $22 AND THEN

1330
00:34:16,666 --> 00:34:17,366
$25, CUSTOMERS MADE IT A POINT

1331
00:34:17,433 --> 00:34:18,132
TO GET MORE THAN THEIR MONEY'S

1332
00:34:18,199 --> 00:34:19,933
WORTH.

1333
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:20,699
IT EVEN BECAME A TIKTOK TREND TO

1334
00:34:20,766 --> 00:34:22,065
SEE HOW MANY YOU COULD EAT IN A

1335
00:34:22,132 --> 00:34:23,366
SINGLE SITTING, LEADING TO

1336
00:34:23,433 --> 00:34:25,065
VIDEOS LIKE THIS:

1337
00:34:25,132 --> 00:34:25,900
>> MY WAITRESS WAS SO PROUD OF

1338
00:34:25,966 --> 00:34:27,366
ME.

1339
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:28,132
I SET A NEW RECORD AT MY LOCAL

1340
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:28,866
RED LOBSTER.

1341
00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:32,400
THIS IS MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT

1342
00:34:32,466 --> 00:34:33,300
IN LIFE.

1343
00:34:33,366 --> 00:34:33,866
$27, THAT IS ONE QUARTER PER

1344
00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:34,766
SHRIMP.

1345
00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:35,400
SO PROUD OF MYSELF, BEST DAY OF

1346
00:34:35,466 --> 00:34:36,632
MY ENTIRE LIFE.

1347
00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:38,065
>> John: OF COURSE IT WAS.

1348
00:34:38,132 --> 00:34:39,833
IF I'D DONE THAT, EVEN IF I THEN

1349
00:34:39,900 --> 00:34:41,900
CURED CANCER AND ACHIEVED WORLD

1350
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,533
PEACE, I'D OPEN MY NOBEL PRIZE

1351
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:45,266
ACCEPTANCE SPEECH WITH

1352
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,033
"WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ANY OF

1353
00:34:46,100 --> 00:34:46,233
THAT?

1354
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:46,866
ONE TIME, I ATE 108 SHRIMP IN A

1355
00:34:46,933 --> 00:34:48,900
SINGLE SITTING."

1356
00:34:48,966 --> 00:34:52,632
BUT INTERESTINGLY, WHILE THAT

1357
00:34:52,699 --> 00:34:53,100
OFFER WAS TERRIBLE FOR

1358
00:34:53,166 --> 00:34:54,466
RED LOBSTER, YOU CAN SEE WHY

1359
00:34:54,533 --> 00:34:55,933
THAI UNION MIGHT'VE THOUGHT IT'D

1360
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:56,766
TURN OUT GREAT FOR THEM.

1361
00:34:56,833 --> 00:34:58,000
BECAUSE REMEMBER, IT'S PRIMARILY

1362
00:34:58,066 --> 00:34:59,466
A SEAFOOD SUPPLIER.

1363
00:34:59,533 --> 00:35:01,200
AND AS IT HAPPENS, RED LOBSTER

1364
00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:04,033
HAD CUT TWO OF ITS LONGTIME

1365
00:35:04,100 --> 00:35:04,600
SHRIMP SUPPLIERS TO PURCHASE

1366
00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:05,200
MORE SHRIMP FROM THAI UNION AT

1367
00:35:05,266 --> 00:35:07,166
HIGHER COSTS.

1368
00:35:07,233 --> 00:35:09,300
IT SEEMS THEY WERE BASICALLY

1369
00:35:09,366 --> 00:35:11,366
JUST SELLING SHRIMP TO

1370
00:35:11,433 --> 00:35:12,866
THEMSELVES, SINKING RED LOBSTER

1371
00:35:12,933 --> 00:35:13,500
EVEN FURTHER INTO DEBT THAT IT'S

1372
00:35:13,566 --> 00:35:16,033
NOW TRYING TO DISCHARGE THROUGH

1373
00:35:16,100 --> 00:35:16,333
BANKRUPTCY.

1374
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:16,933
WHICH IS, AT BEST, INCREDIBLY

1375
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:17,833
SHITTY.

1376
00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:20,333
AND THE END RESULT OF ALL THIS

1377
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:21,866
MISMANAGEMENT IS RED LOBSTERS

1378
00:35:21,933 --> 00:35:23,166
SHUTTING ACROSS THE COUNTRY,

1379
00:35:23,233 --> 00:35:23,766
LEAVING UNEMPLOYED WORKERS IN

1380
00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:25,100
THEIR WAKE.

1381
00:35:25,166 --> 00:35:27,066
AND THE RESTAURANTS THEMSELVES

1382
00:35:27,133 --> 00:35:28,466
ARE NOW LITERALLY BEING SOLD OFF

1383
00:35:28,533 --> 00:35:29,133
FOR PARTS.

1384
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,700
>> THIS LOCATION IS NOW PART OF

1385
00:35:31,766 --> 00:35:33,033
RESTAURANT LIQUIDATOR TAGEX

1386
00:35:33,100 --> 00:35:35,133
BRANDS' LARGEST RESTAURANT

1387
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,100
EQUIPMENT AUCTION EVER.

1388
00:35:36,166 --> 00:35:37,833
>> ONE TOP BIDDER FOR EACH

1389
00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:40,333
LOCATION WILL WALK AWAY WITH

1390
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:40,966
COMMERCIAL APPLIANCES AND

1391
00:35:41,033 --> 00:35:42,833
FURNITURE.

1392
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:44,733
IMAGES POSTED BY

1393
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:45,766
RestaurantEquipment.Bid EVEN

1394
00:35:45,833 --> 00:35:47,200
INCLUDE THE LOBSTER TANK.

1395
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:48,633
IT'S UNCLEAR IF THE CRUSTACEANS

1396
00:35:48,733 --> 00:35:50,966
ARE PART OF THE DEAL.

1397
00:35:51,033 --> 00:35:51,800
>> John: IT'S TRUE.

1398
00:35:51,866 --> 00:35:54,200
YOU CAN EVEN GET THE TANK!

1399
00:35:54,266 --> 00:35:56,166
SO IF YOU'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR

1400
00:35:56,233 --> 00:35:57,000
THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THAT ONE

1401
00:35:57,066 --> 00:36:01,066
FRIEND WHO'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY

1402
00:36:01,133 --> 00:36:02,566
PRESENTS FOR BUT WHO ALSO HAS A

1403
00:36:02,633 --> 00:36:04,333
BUNCH OF LOOSE LOBSTERS ROAMING

1404
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:04,900
AROUND THEIR HOUSE, I'VE GOT

1405
00:36:04,966 --> 00:36:05,766
GREAT NEWS FOR YOU.

1406
00:36:05,833 --> 00:36:07,633
THE CHAIN'S AUCTIONS WERE WINNER

1407
00:36:07,700 --> 00:36:08,233
TAKE ALL, MEANING EACH WINNER

1408
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:09,666
WOULD RECEIVE THE ENTIRE

1409
00:36:09,733 --> 00:36:11,500
CONTENTS OF THE RED LOBSTER THEY

1410
00:36:11,566 --> 00:36:12,000
BID ON.

1411
00:36:12,066 --> 00:36:13,833
AND BEFORE YOU EVEN ASK: NO, WE

1412
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,033
DIDN'T.

1413
00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:17,733
I KNOW, I KNOW, WE BUY A LOT OF

1414
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,000
STUPID SHIT ON THIS SHOW, BUT

1415
00:36:20,066 --> 00:36:20,833
NOT EVEN WE WOULD BE INTERESTED

1416
00:36:20,933 --> 00:36:22,933
IN OLD FURNITURE FROM A CARPETED

1417
00:36:23,033 --> 00:36:25,300
SEAFOOD RESTAURANT CONTAINING A

1418
00:36:25,366 --> 00:36:26,166
FISH SMELL THAT'S JUST NEVER

1419
00:36:26,233 --> 00:36:26,666
COMING OUT.

1420
00:36:26,733 --> 00:36:27,600
BESIDES, WE WENT ALL OUT ON A

1421
00:36:27,666 --> 00:36:30,300
PURCHASE EARLIER THIS SEASON

1422
00:36:30,366 --> 00:36:30,933
THAT DIDN'T REALLY TURN OUT THE

1423
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:31,600
WAY WE HOPED.

1424
00:36:31,666 --> 00:36:35,533
SO AS FAR AS WHERE RED LOBSTER

1425
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:36,266
GOES NOW, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO

1426
00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:36,433
SAY.

1427
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,333
ONE OR MORE OF THE COMPANY'S

1428
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,633
LENDERS MIGHT BUY IT, AND SINCE

1429
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:41,466
ONE OF THEIR KEY LENDERS IS YET

1430
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:42,066
ANOTHER PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM,

1431
00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:44,200
THIS WHOLE MERRY-GO-ROUND OF

1432
00:36:44,266 --> 00:36:44,733
ASSET STRIPPING MAY STILL

1433
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:45,366
CONTINUE.

1434
00:36:45,433 --> 00:36:47,200
THE FRUSTRATING THING IS, IT

1435
00:36:47,266 --> 00:36:48,566
SEEMS JUST ABOUT ANY RANDOM

1436
00:36:48,633 --> 00:36:51,133
IDIOT COULD RUN A RED LOBSTER

1437
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,266
BETTER THAN THESE COMPANIES HAVE

1438
00:36:52,333 --> 00:36:52,466
DONE.

1439
00:36:52,533 --> 00:36:54,733
BUT THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE WAY

1440
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,066
TO PUT THAT TO THE TEST.

1441
00:36:56,166 --> 00:36:57,500
WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO THOSE

1442
00:36:57,566 --> 00:37:00,533
AUCTIONS THAT I MENTIONED A

1443
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,133
SECOND AGO, BECAUSE THE TRUTH

1444
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,066
IS, I LIED TO YOU, WE DID

1445
00:37:02,133 --> 00:37:02,833
PARTICIPATE IN ONE, FOR THE

1446
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:05,366
CONTENTS OF THIS RED LOBSTER IN

1447
00:37:05,433 --> 00:37:06,933
KINGSTON, NEW YORK, AND WE

1448
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:07,533
FUCKING WON EVERYTHING INSIDE

1449
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,633
IT.

1450
00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:11,933
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1451
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,900
AND THOUGH WE HAVE NO PRIOR

1452
00:37:13,966 --> 00:37:14,833
RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE, THAT

1453
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:15,233
DOESN'T SEEM TO BE

1454
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:15,566
DISQUALIFYING.

1455
00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:17,566
SO PLEASE, COME WITH ME...

1456
00:37:17,633 --> 00:37:19,933
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1457
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:20,133
♪ ♪

1458
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:21,400
AND WELCOME TO RED LOBSTER WITH

1459
00:37:21,466 --> 00:37:22,733
"LAST WEEK TONIGHT" WITH

1460
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:23,333
JOHN OLIVER.

1461
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,266
IT'S A NEW CONCEPT IN CASUAL

1462
00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:26,300
DINING, WHERE WE'RE NOT LOOKING

1463
00:37:26,366 --> 00:37:26,766
TO GET RICH OFF THIS.

1464
00:37:26,866 --> 00:37:30,066
WE VERY MUCH WON'T.

1465
00:37:30,133 --> 00:37:32,100
THANKS SO MUCH.

1466
00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:33,600
INSTEAD, WHAT WE DO WANT TO DO

1467
00:37:33,666 --> 00:37:35,933
IS GIVE PEOPLE THE SINGLE ITEM

1468
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:36,933
THEY ACTUALLY WANT FROM A

1469
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:37,400
RED LOBSTER.

1470
00:37:37,466 --> 00:37:38,366
AND THAT'S THE BISCUITS.

1471
00:37:38,433 --> 00:37:40,100
THEY ARE THE ONLY THINGS THIS

1472
00:37:40,166 --> 00:37:40,766
LOCATION WILL SELL.

1473
00:37:40,833 --> 00:37:41,366
WE'LL STILL HAVE THE

1474
00:37:41,433 --> 00:37:44,833
INEXPLICABLE NAUTICAL-THEMED

1475
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:48,200
ARTWORK AND THE LOBSTER TANK.

1476
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:48,966
BUT THOSE LOBSTERS ARE REALLY

1477
00:37:49,033 --> 00:37:50,033
ONLY THERE SO THEY CAN WATCH YOU

1478
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:52,400
EAT BISCUITS.

1479
00:37:52,466 --> 00:37:54,633
AND I'M EXCITED TO SAY, WE'VE

1480
00:37:54,700 --> 00:37:56,833
GOT A "FINITE BISCUITS"

1481
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:59,000
PROMOTION ON RIGHT NOW, WHERE

1482
00:37:59,066 --> 00:38:00,700
FOR JUST $1 YOU CAN GET ONE

1483
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:01,800
BISCUIT, AND THAT'S IT.

1484
00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:02,466
IT'S A LIMITED-TIME PROMOTION,

1485
00:38:02,533 --> 00:38:03,300
FOR THE DURATION OF THIS TAPING,

1486
00:38:03,366 --> 00:38:04,133
SO PLEASE...

1487
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,866
BRING OUT THE BISCUITS!

1488
00:38:06,933 --> 00:38:08,366
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1489
00:38:08,433 --> 00:38:09,466
PLUS, WE'VE GOT WAITERS,

1490
00:38:09,533 --> 00:38:13,033
BISCUITS, BISCUITS, WAITERS, AND

1491
00:38:13,100 --> 00:38:14,966
BISCUITS, BISCUITS, WAITERS,

1492
00:38:15,033 --> 00:38:16,366
AND THAT'S ALL.

1493
00:38:16,433 --> 00:38:16,966
NOW IS THIS A GOOD IDEA FOR A

1494
00:38:17,033 --> 00:38:17,433
RESTAURANT?

1495
00:38:17,500 --> 00:38:19,933
WHO CAN SAY?

1496
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,533
WELL, LOTS OF PEOPLE, AND THE

1497
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:23,300
ANSWER IS NO, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO

1498
00:38:23,366 --> 00:38:24,133
ADMIT, IT'S A BETTER IDEA THAN

1499
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:25,200
ANY OF RED LOBSTER'S PREVIOUS

1500
00:38:25,266 --> 00:38:27,733
OWNERS HAVE HAD.

1501
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,100
AND AT LEAST WE ARE NOT BLEEDING

1502
00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:30,300
TRY TO MAKE A HANDFUL OF IDIOTS

1503
00:38:30,366 --> 00:38:31,400
RICH,

1504
00:38:31,466 --> 00:38:32,033
WHICH IS WHAT'S HAPPENING TO SO

1505
00:38:32,100 --> 00:38:34,000
MANY COMPANIES NOWADAYS.

1506
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:35,733
THAT IS OUR SHOW, THANKS SO MUCH

1507
00:38:35,833 --> 00:38:38,266
FOR WATCHING!

1508
00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,300
WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

1509
00:38:39,366 --> 00:38:39,600
GOOD NIGHT!

1510
00:38:39,666 --> 00:38:45,600
BISCUITS FOR EVERYONE!

1511
00:38:45,666 --> 00:38:47,166
WAITERS, BISCUITS!

1512
00:38:47,233 --> 00:38:51,666
WAITERS, BISCUITS!

1513
00:38:51,733 --> 00:38:52,000
COME TASTE IT!

1514
00:38:52,066 --> 00:38:52,466
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1515
00:38:52,533 --> 00:38:59,533
♪ ♪

1516
00:39:04,066 --> 00:39:06,966
♪ ♪

1517
00:39:07,066 --> 00:39:14,066
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1518
00:39:16,633 --> 00:39:23,633
♪ ♪

1519
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,966
♪ TAILS, SHRIMP, WAITERS,