1 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:14,700 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:25,300 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:25,766 --> 00:00:30,433 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 4 00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,233 John: WELCOME, WELCOME, 5 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,733 WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!" 6 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:34,333 I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANK YOU SO 7 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,466 MUCH FOR JOINING US. 8 00:00:35,466 --> 00:00:36,900 IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK. 9 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,833 HUNTER BIDEN WAS FOUND GUILTY ON 10 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:41,533 GUN CHARGES, MACRON CALLED A 11 00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:42,400 SNAP ELECTION IN FRANCE, AND IN 12 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:42,966 MICHIGAN, THIS CONSERVATIVE 13 00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:43,600 CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE POSTED A 14 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,633 CAMPAIGN TIKTOK WITH AN AI 15 00:00:46,633 --> 00:00:51,366 GENERATED VOICE THAT IS BOLD. 16 00:00:51,366 --> 00:00:53,566 I HAVE ANOTHER DREAM! 17 00:00:53,566 --> 00:00:54,300 YES, IT IS ME, MARTIN LUTHER 18 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,700 KING. 19 00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:57,333 I CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO SAY 20 00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:58,233 SOMETHING. 21 00:00:58,233 --> 00:01:00,433 AS I WAS SAYING, I HAVE ANOTHER 22 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:01,933 DREAM, THAT ANTHONY HUDSON WILL 23 00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:02,900 BE MICHIGAN 8TH DISTRICT'S NEXT 24 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:03,933 CONGRESSMAN. 25 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:08,133 YES, I HAVE A DREAM AGAIN. 26 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,133 OKAY, NOW I AM GOING BACK TO 27 00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:11,900 WHERE I CAME FROM GOODBYE. 28 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:12,533 MY NAME IS ANTHONY HUDSON AND 29 00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,333 I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. 30 00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:15,900 John: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OH, 31 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,266 MY GOD, OKAY. 32 00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:18,233 LET'S DIVE IN. 33 00:01:18,233 --> 00:01:19,200 IT'S HARD TO PICK THE WILDEST 34 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:19,800 PART OF THAT. 35 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,733 THE OPENING SCREAM? 36 00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:24,700 THE CASUAL "AS I WAS SAYING?" 37 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:25,900 THE FACT MLK REASSURES HIS 38 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:26,833 AUDIENCE HE HAS ANOTHER DREAM 39 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:30,266 THREE TIMES, AS IF THAT'S GOING 40 00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:30,833 TO BE THE MAIN THING SOMEONE 41 00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:31,533 TAKES ISSUE WITH? 42 00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:33,400 BUT HONESTLY, I THINK IT MIGHT 43 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,166 BE THE FOUR-SECOND PAUSE BEFORE, 44 00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:35,700 "OKAY, NOW I AM GOING BACK TO 45 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,733 WHERE I CAME FROM, GOODBYE," 46 00:01:37,733 --> 00:01:38,233 MAKING HIM SOUND LIKE A 47 00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:39,200 MIDDLE-AGED DAD WHO DOESN'T KNOW 48 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,100 HOW TO END A PHONE CALL. 49 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:42,700 I'VE GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS AND 50 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:43,300 NONE OF THEM ARE ABOUT ANTHONY 51 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,466 HUDSON AND WHERE TO VOTE FOR 52 00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:45,533 HIM. 53 00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:47,333 NOW, HUDSON INITIALLY PUT OUT A 54 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,600 STATEMENT SAYING THE VIDEO WAS 55 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:50,200 POSTED WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE, 56 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,566 AND THAT IT WAS STUPID AND 57 00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:54,133 DISRESPECTFUL, ONLY TO THEN 58 00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:54,733 REVERSE THAT POSITION, SAYING, 59 00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:55,366 "IF MLK WERE ALIVE TODAY-- I DO 60 00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:58,600 BELIEVE HE WOULD ENDORSE ME AND 61 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,200 MY VISION FOR A BETTER 62 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:00,466 MICHIGAN." 63 00:02:00,466 --> 00:02:01,000 AND FIRST, NO HE WOULDN'T, 64 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,300 ANTHONY, FOR SO MANY REASONS. 65 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:05,133 BUT SECOND, YOU HAD IT RIGHT 66 00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:08,533 BEFORE YOUR DOUBLE-DOWN. 67 00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:09,966 THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE TO 68 00:02:09,966 --> 00:02:10,733 THAT AD IS TO ISSUE AN APOLOGY, 69 00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:12,466 DROP THE WHOLE THING, AND THEN 70 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,666 IF I MAY QUOTE SOMETHING 71 00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:14,566 MARTIN LUTHER KING NEVER SAID-- 72 00:02:14,566 --> 00:02:16,066 ANNOUNCE, "OKAY, NOW I AM GOING 73 00:02:16,066 --> 00:02:16,633 BACK TO WHERE I CAME FROM, 74 00:02:16,633 --> 00:02:19,966 GOODBYE." 75 00:02:19,966 --> 00:02:20,833 BUT WE'RE GOING TO DIVE STRAIGHT 76 00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:23,166 IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT, 77 00:02:23,166 --> 00:02:23,800 WHICH CONCERNS THE PRESIDENTIAL 78 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:24,966 ELECTION. 79 00:02:24,966 --> 00:02:26,133 THE THING YOU'RE ACTIVELY 80 00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:26,733 IGNORING SO YOU CAN DEVOTE ALL 81 00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:27,333 YOUR BRAIN POWER TO 82 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:27,900 "MILF MANOR." 83 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,833 IF YOU'RE NOT WATCHING, REAL 84 00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:31,200 QUICK-- THIS SEASON, NOT ONLY 85 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,766 ARE THE MILFS DATING HOT YOUNGER 86 00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:33,400 MEN, THEY'RE ALSO-- AND THIS IS 87 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,800 TRUE-- DATING THE YOUNG GUYS' 88 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,366 DADS AS WELL, AND IT'S EXACTLY 89 00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:39,833 AS AWKWARD FOR EVERYONE AS YOU'D 90 00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:41,233 THINK. 91 00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,566 TODAY, YOU'RE GOING TO BE 92 00:02:42,566 --> 00:02:45,500 EXPLORING A TANTRIC YOGA CLASS. 93 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,933 OH, GOD. 94 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,200 NO WAY, NO. 95 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:49,833 THERE'S SOME THINGS THAT YOU 96 00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:52,000 JUST DON'T DO WITH YOUR SON OR 97 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:52,933 WITH YOUR FATHER. 98 00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:54,166 ARE YOU TRAUMATIZED? 99 00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:55,266 A LITTLE BIT. 100 00:02:55,266 --> 00:02:56,400 John: YEAH. 101 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,500 YEAH, I BET! 102 00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:01,666 ALTHOUGH, NOT TO VICTIM-BLAME, 103 00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:02,866 BUT, YOU DID SIGN UP TO BAG 104 00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:03,600 MILFS IN A TELEVISED SEX 105 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,300 CONTEST. 106 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:04,866 SO NO BRAIN WAS EVER LEAVING 107 00:03:04,866 --> 00:03:06,433 THAT MANOR UNSCARRED. 108 00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:07,500 THE ELECTION'S IN FULL SWING 109 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:11,966 RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S PRETTY MUCH 110 00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:12,400 YOUR USUAL CAMPAIGN. 111 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:12,966 CANDIDATES OFFERING POLICY 112 00:03:12,966 --> 00:03:13,566 PROPOSALS, TRADING BARBS, AND 113 00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:14,166 OCCASIONALLY GETTING CONVICTED 114 00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:14,766 OF 34 FELONIES AND COMPLAINING 115 00:03:14,766 --> 00:03:17,733 ABOUT THE JUDGE. 116 00:03:17,733 --> 00:03:18,366 YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO SOME 117 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:18,966 OF THE WITNESSES THAT WERE ON 118 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,500 OUR SIDE. 119 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,133 THEY WERE LITERALLY CRUCIFIED BY 120 00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:25,933 THIS MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE AN 121 00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:27,533 ANGEL, BUT HE'S REALLY A DEVIL. 122 00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:28,533 John: OKAY, TRUMP DEFINITELY 123 00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,366 DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD 124 00:03:30,366 --> 00:03:31,000 "LITERALLY" MEANS, BUT GIVEN HIS 125 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,733 INABILITY TO TALK ABOUT THE 126 00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:34,933 BIBLE, IT'S POSSIBLE HE DOESN'T 127 00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:35,533 KNOW WHAT "CRUCIFIED" MEANS 128 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:36,400 EITHER. 129 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,266 ALTHOUGH, I COULD BE WRONG: 130 00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:38,400 MAYBE JESUS GOT NAILED TO PLANKS 131 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,033 BECAUSE OF HIS HUSH PAYMENTS TO 132 00:03:40,033 --> 00:03:41,933 A PORN STAR. 133 00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:42,266 I DON'T KNOW! 134 00:03:42,266 --> 00:03:44,733 I DON'T HAVE THE CLOSE PERSONAL 135 00:03:44,733 --> 00:03:45,366 RELATIONSHIP TRUMP HAS WITH THE 136 00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:46,466 BIBLE, WHICH FOR THE RECORD IS 137 00:03:46,466 --> 00:03:47,500 "SOURLY HOLDING IT UP LIKE HE'S 138 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,933 SHOWING OFF THE BUG HE JUST 139 00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:51,166 SQUASHED WITH IT." 140 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,433 BUT AS MASSIVELY FLAWED AS TRUMP 141 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,400 IS, AS A CANDIDATE, HUSBAND, 142 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,800 BOSS, FATHER, AND HUMAN BEING, 143 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,733 HE'S CURRENTLY SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF 144 00:03:57,733 --> 00:03:59,133 BIDEN IN THE POLLS. 145 00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,966 SO THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE 146 00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:02,166 HE COULD BE BACK IN THE WHITE 147 00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,400 HOUSE NEXT YEAR. 148 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:04,933 AND GIVEN THAT, IT'S WORTH 149 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:06,466 TALKING ABOUT WHAT HE PLANS TO 150 00:04:06,466 --> 00:04:07,600 DO IF HE GETS THERE. 151 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,133 BECAUSE TRUMP DOES HAVE A 152 00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:09,733 SECOND-TERM PLATFORM-- YOU CAN 153 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:10,600 GO ON HIS WEBSITE AND SEE IT 154 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,233 ALL LAID OUT-- AND IT'S PRETTY 155 00:04:11,233 --> 00:04:12,466 ALARMING. 156 00:04:12,466 --> 00:04:13,733 FOR INSTANCE, HERE HE IS TALKING 157 00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:14,500 ABOUT HIS PLANS REGARDING TRANS 158 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,966 RIGHTS. 159 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,266 I WILL ASK CONGRESS TO PASS A 160 00:04:18,266 --> 00:04:20,133 BILL ESTABLISHING THAT THE ONLY 161 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:22,100 GENDERS RECOGNIZED BY THE UNITED 162 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,333 STATES GOVERNMENT ARE MALE AND 163 00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,400 FEMALE, AND THEY ARE ASSIGNED AT 164 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,966 BIRTH. 165 00:04:27,966 --> 00:04:29,333 NO SERIOUS COUNTRY SHOULD BE 166 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:30,466 TELLING ITS CHILDREN THAT THEY 167 00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:31,100 WERE BORN WITH THE WRONG GENDER, 168 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:33,933 A CONCEPT THAT WAS NEVER HEARD 169 00:04:33,933 --> 00:04:35,900 OF. 170 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,766 IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY, 171 00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:38,333 NOBODY'S EVER HEARD OF THIS, 172 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,933 WHAT'S HAPPENING TODAY. 173 00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:42,666 IT WAS ALL WHEN THE RADICAL LEFT 174 00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:44,133 INVENTED IT JUST A FEW YEARS 175 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:47,500 AGO. 176 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:48,133 John: THAT'S REALLY THE TRUMP 177 00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:48,733 EXPERIENCE IN A NUTSHELL RIGHT 178 00:04:48,733 --> 00:04:50,066 THERE. 179 00:04:50,066 --> 00:04:50,700 HATEFUL IDEOLOGY, A PROMISE TO 180 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,466 MAKE LIFE HARDER FOR MINORITIES, 181 00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:54,100 ALL WRAPPED UP IN A NON SEQUITUR 182 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:58,266 SO STUPID IT'S INCONVENIENTLY 183 00:04:58,266 --> 00:04:59,366 FUNNY. 184 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,200 THE RADICAL LEFT INVENTED 185 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,466 TRANS PEOPLE A FEW YEARS AGO? 186 00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,066 I'M SORRY, WHAT? 187 00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:04,700 DID THEY PUT IT ON "SHARK TANK" 188 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,766 AND I SOMEHOW MISSED IT? 189 00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:09,033 THAT'S ANOTHER INSTANT CLASSIC 190 00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:09,666 LINE READ FROM ONE OF HUMANITY'S 191 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:11,066 WORST BRAINS. 192 00:05:11,066 --> 00:05:13,966 TRUMP'S ALSO PROMISING MASS 193 00:05:14,066 --> 00:05:15,466 DEPORTATIONS IN HIS NEXT TERM. 194 00:05:15,466 --> 00:05:16,466 HERE'S STEPHEN MILLER, HIS 195 00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:17,833 FORMER ADVISOR AND FIRST-DRAFT 196 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:19,500 PIXAR VILLAIN, TALKING IN DEPTH 197 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:22,300 ABOUT THE LOGISTICS. 198 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:23,833 SO, YOU GRAB ILLEGAL 199 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:24,533 IMMIGRANTS AND THEN YOU MOVE 200 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,466 THEM TO THE STAGING GROUNDS, AND 201 00:05:25,466 --> 00:05:26,833 THAT'S WHERE THE PLANES ARE 202 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:27,633 WAITING FOR FEDERAL LAW 203 00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:29,200 ENFORCEMENT TO THEN MOVE THOSE 204 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,100 ILLEGALS HOME. 205 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,066 YOU DEPUTIZE THE NATIONAL GUARD 206 00:05:31,066 --> 00:05:33,000 TO CARRY OUT IMMIGRATION 207 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,600 ENFORCEMENT, AND THEN YOU ALSO 208 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,266 DEPLOY THE MILITARY TO THE 209 00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:37,266 SOUTHERN BORDER. 210 00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:38,600 THE MILITARY HAS THE RIGHT TO 211 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,266 ESTABLISH A FORTRESS POSITION ON 212 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:42,933 THE BORDER AND TO SAY NO ONE CAN 213 00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:45,400 CROSS HERE AT ALL. 214 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:49,800 John: WOW, THOSE ARE STRONG 215 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,633 WORDS FROM MILLER, ONLY SLIGHTLY 216 00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:51,200 UNDERCUT BY HIS TENDENCY TO 217 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:51,733 LOOK, AT ALL TIMES, LIKE A 218 00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:54,633 CONDOM FULL OF SOUP. 219 00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:55,566 BUT THAT'S STILL JUST THE 220 00:05:55,566 --> 00:05:56,800 BEGINNING. 221 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:57,966 TRUMP PLANS TO REQUIRE LOCAL LAW 222 00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:01,900 ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES TO USE 223 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:02,500 MEASURES LIKE STOP-AND-FRISK, 224 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,233 CUT FUNDING FOR ANY SCHOOL THAT 225 00:06:03,233 --> 00:06:10,300 HAS A VACCINE OR MASK MANDATE, 226 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,266 AND IMPOSE A UNIVERSAL TARIFF OF 227 00:06:15,266 --> 00:06:15,966 AT LEAST 10% ON ALL IMPORTS. 228 00:06:15,966 --> 00:06:16,600 AND NOTABLY, HE'S PROMISING TO 229 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,366 GET REVENGE ON HIS ENEMIES. 230 00:06:17,366 --> 00:06:18,000 AT RALLIES, HE'S TOLD SUPPORTERS 231 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,600 THAT "I AM YOUR RETRIBUTION," 232 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:19,233 WHICH SOUNDS MORE LIKE SOMETHING 233 00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:19,833 YOU'D HEAR OUT OF THE MOUTH OF 234 00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,033 MEGATRON THAN A MAJOR 235 00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:21,800 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE. 236 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,333 AND HE'S BEEN SPECIFIC ABOUT WHO 237 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:23,966 EXACTLY WILL BE ON THE RECEIVING 238 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,866 END OF THAT RETRIBUTION. 239 00:06:26,866 --> 00:06:29,300 WE WILL ROOT OUT THE 240 00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,866 COMMUNIST, MARXIST, FASCIST, AND 241 00:06:30,866 --> 00:06:32,500 THE RADICAL LEFT THUGS THAT LIVE 242 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:35,300 LIKE VERMIN WITHIN THE CONFINES 243 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:39,266 OF OUR COUNTRY, THAT LIE AND 244 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,400 STEAL AND CHEAT ON ELECTIONS, 245 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,466 AND WILL DO ANYTHING POSSIBLE-- 246 00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:44,833 THEY'LL DO ANYTHING, WHETHER 247 00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:46,066 LEGALLY OR ILLEGALLY, TO DESTROY 248 00:06:46,066 --> 00:06:47,166 AMERICA AND TO DESTROY THE 249 00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:49,866 AMERICAN DREAM. 250 00:06:49,866 --> 00:06:51,266 John: FIRST, WAS HE FALLING 251 00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:54,066 ASLEEP AT THE END THERE? 252 00:06:54,066 --> 00:07:00,266 SECOND, IT'S NOT USUALLY A GREAT 253 00:07:00,266 --> 00:07:01,233 SIGN WHEN A POLITICIAN STARTS 254 00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:01,833 REFERRING TO GROUPS AS VERMIN, 255 00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:02,500 UNLESS OF COURSE THEY'RE RUNNING 256 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,733 FOR MAYOR OF ZOOTOPIA AND 257 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:04,933 THEY'RE GUNNING FOR THE 258 00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:05,400 LITTLE RODENTIA VOTE. 259 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,033 THEN, IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY SAVVY 260 00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:06,300 POLITICS. 261 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,333 AND IF YOU'RE THINKING: OKAY, 262 00:07:07,333 --> 00:07:08,600 TRUMP'S MAKING BIG SCARY 263 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,500 PROMISES, BUT HE DID THAT IN 264 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,166 2016, TOO, AND HE BROKE A LOT OF 265 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:16,100 THEM," THAT'S TRUE. 266 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:16,933 THOUGH HE DID ALSO GO ON TO DO A 267 00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:17,566 LOT OF DAMAGE-- HE BLEW UP THE 268 00:07:17,566 --> 00:07:18,166 IRAN NUCLEAR DEAL, WITHDREW US 269 00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:18,633 FROM THE PARIS CLIMATE 270 00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:19,200 AGREEMENT, SLASHED ACCESS TO 271 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,733 FOOD STAMPS, AND GAVE A HUGE TAX 272 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:21,633 CUT TO CORPORATIONS. 273 00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:24,400 HE SEPARATED CHILDREN FROM THEIR 274 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,700 FAMILIES AT THE BORDER, 275 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:26,266 SUGGESTED CURING COVID WITH 276 00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:29,966 BLEACH OR A BRIGHT LIGHT, 277 00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:30,566 SUMMONED AN INSURRECTION, AND 278 00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:32,866 PUT IN THREE SUPREME COURT 279 00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:33,433 JUSTICES WHO HELPED OVERTURN 280 00:07:33,433 --> 00:07:34,066 ROE V. WADE AND SEEM TO HAVE NO 281 00:07:34,066 --> 00:07:34,666 INTENTIONS OF STOPPING THERE. 282 00:07:34,666 --> 00:07:35,300 BUT IT IS TRUE THAT A LOT OF HIS 283 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:35,966 OTHER MAJOR POLICY GOALS-- FROM 284 00:07:35,966 --> 00:07:36,600 ENDING THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT, 285 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,233 TO GETTING MEXICO TO PAY FOR HIS 286 00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:37,866 BORDER WALL-- REMAINED OUT OF 287 00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:39,800 REACH. 288 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,333 TRUMP AS PRESIDENT WAS SORT OF 289 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,366 LIKE A HAMSTER IN AN ATTACK 290 00:07:43,366 --> 00:07:45,233 HELICOPTER. 291 00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:46,566 SURE, HE WANTS TO BATHE THE 292 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:47,433 WORLD IN BLOOD AND TERROR, HE 293 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,566 WANTS IT WITH HIS WHOLE ROTTEN 294 00:07:48,566 --> 00:07:49,000 HAMSTER HEART. 295 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,066 BUT LUCKILY, HE DOESN'T KNOW 296 00:07:51,066 --> 00:07:53,433 WHAT BUTTONS TO PRESS AND HIS 297 00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:54,066 BRAIN'S THE SIZE OF A PEANUT, SO 298 00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:54,933 THAT PUTS SOME HARD LIMITS ON 299 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:55,566 THE DAMAGE HE'S ACTUALLY ABLE TO 300 00:07:55,566 --> 00:08:00,533 DO. 301 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:01,166 THIS TIME, THOUGH, TRUMP'LL HAVE 302 00:08:01,266 --> 00:08:01,800 A LOT MORE HELP-- NOT ONLY ARE 303 00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:02,400 THE COURTS MORE CONSERVATIVE, 304 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:03,366 AND THE REPUBLICAN PARTY MORE 305 00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:04,566 FIRMLY ALIGNED WITH HIM, BUT A 306 00:08:04,566 --> 00:08:06,066 GROUP OF CONSERVATIVES HAS COME 307 00:08:06,066 --> 00:08:07,400 UP WITH A PLAN OF ACTION TO 308 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,166 ENSURE THAT HE CAN HIT THE 309 00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:11,333 GROUND RUNNING, AND EVEN IF HE 310 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:12,166 DOES MEET RESISTANCE FROM 311 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:15,200 CONGRESS OR THE COURTS, HE'LL 312 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,066 NOW HAVE WAYS TO GO AROUND THEM. 313 00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:18,933 THAT IS WHY, WHILE TRUMP'S FIRST 314 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:19,533 TERM WAS BAD, HIS SECOND COULD 315 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:24,266 BE MUCH, MUCH WORSE. 316 00:08:24,266 --> 00:08:24,833 SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT 317 00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:25,366 TRUMP'S SECOND TERM: WHO'S 318 00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:26,233 MAKING THOSE PLANS FOR HIM, WHAT 319 00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,166 THEY ENTAIL, AND HOW MUCH DAMAGE 320 00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:30,100 THEY COULD DO. 321 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:30,666 AND THE MAIN INSIGHT WE HAVE 322 00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:33,533 INTO ALL THIS COMES FROM 323 00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:34,433 SOMETHING CALLED "PROJECT 2025." 324 00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:36,433 WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS LIKE A SEXY 325 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,766 CW SCI-FI DRAMA STARRING 326 00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:39,233 ASHANTI, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY, 327 00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:41,066 AND TURTLE FROM ENTOURAGE, BUT 328 00:08:41,066 --> 00:08:41,700 INCREDIBLY, IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN 329 00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,966 THAT. 330 00:08:43,966 --> 00:08:45,600 BASICALLY, PROJECT 2025 AIMS TO 331 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,066 DO FOR TRUMP'S WHOLE PRESIDENCY 332 00:08:47,066 --> 00:08:48,100 WHAT THE FEDERALIST SOCIETY DID 333 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,000 FOR HIS JUDICIAL PICKS-- GIVE 334 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,666 HIM A STEP-BY-STEP GAME PLAN HE 335 00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:52,566 SIMPLY HAS TO EXECUTE AND THEN 336 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,633 TAKE CREDIT FOR. 337 00:08:54,633 --> 00:08:55,266 THEY'VE EVEN MADE A PROMOTIONAL 338 00:08:55,266 --> 00:08:56,800 VIDEO FOR IT. 339 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,566 ON INAUGURATION DAY THE FOUR 340 00:08:57,566 --> 00:08:59,466 YEARS AHEAD SEEMS LIKE AN 341 00:08:59,466 --> 00:08:59,733 ETERNITY. 342 00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:00,500 IT'S NOT. 343 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,533 BECAUSE THE LEFT HAS ENGINEERED 344 00:09:02,533 --> 00:09:04,033 OUR GOVERNMENT AND INSTITUTIONS 345 00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:06,200 TO REJECT CONSERVATIVE IDEOLOGY. 346 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,266 THE 2025 PRESIDENTIAL TRANSITION 347 00:09:07,266 --> 00:09:09,166 PROJECT BRINGS TOGETHER 348 00:09:09,266 --> 00:09:10,633 CONSERVATIVE ORGANIZATIONS TO 349 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,800 ENSURE THE POLICY AND PERSONNEL 350 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,866 ARE IN PLACE ON JANUARY 20TH 351 00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:18,000 2025 USING FOUR PILLARS WE ARE 352 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,333 LAYING THE FOUNDATION FOR THE 353 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:20,933 NEXT PRESIDENT TO END 354 00:09:20,933 --> 00:09:22,800 WASHINGTON'S BUREAUCRACY AND 355 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,666 RESTORE AMERICAN PROSPERITY. 356 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:27,233 John: YEAH, MORE THAN 100 357 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,633 CONSERVATIVE ORGANIZATIONS HAVE 358 00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:31,000 COME TOGETHER TO WORK ON THIS. 359 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:31,800 THEY'RE ALL THERE. 360 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,566 YOU'VE GOT THE HERITAGE 361 00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:35,766 FOUNDATION, LIBERTY UNIVERSITY, 362 00:09:35,766 --> 00:09:36,333 THE NRA, TURNING POINT USA, 363 00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:37,033 RODEO CLOWNS FOR TRUMP, THE 364 00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:38,566 CENTER FOR RUINING THANKSGIVING, 365 00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:40,600 THE MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN 366 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:41,633 AND HIS PROPERTY INSTITUTE, ARM 367 00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:42,633 THE UNBORN, THE UNION OF TWITTER 368 00:09:42,633 --> 00:09:44,600 GUYS WITH GOATEES AND WRAPAROUND 369 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,466 SHADES, CAPTAIN PLANET VILLAINS 370 00:09:46,466 --> 00:09:47,433 FOR A BRIGHTER TOMORROW, AND OF 371 00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:48,833 COURSE AMERICANS FOR HOW ZOOS 372 00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:49,400 SHOULD LET YOU FUCK THE BALD 373 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,033 EAGLES. 374 00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:52,833 THEY'RE ALL HERE. 375 00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:54,466 THEY'VE EVEN PRODUCED A 900-PAGE 376 00:09:54,466 --> 00:09:55,200 HANDBOOK ON THEIR GOALS, WHICH 377 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,733 ARE SWEEPING. 378 00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:58,366 IT PROPOSES DISMANTLING NOAA, 379 00:09:58,366 --> 00:10:00,100 THE AGENCY THAT TRACKS 380 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:00,966 HURRICANES AND PROTECTS MARINE 381 00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:02,533 LIFE, BECAUSE IT'S, QUOTE, "ONE 382 00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:03,866 OF THE MAIN DRIVERS OF THE 383 00:10:03,866 --> 00:10:06,333 CLIMATE CHANGE ALARM INDUSTRY." 384 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,433 IT ALSO PROPOSES ELIMINATING THE 385 00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:09,000 HEAD START PROGRAM, INSTALLING A 386 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,833 PRO-LIFE TASK FORCE TO REPLACE 387 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,600 BIDEN'S REPRODUCTIVE HEALTHCARE 388 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,166 ONE, OUTLINES PLANS TO DEFUND 389 00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:15,700 THE DOJ, DISMANTLE THE FBI, AND 390 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,033 ELIMINATE THE DEPARTMENTS OF 391 00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:18,933 EDUCATION AND COMMERCE, AND 392 00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:19,700 STATES THAT "PORNOGRAPHY SHOULD 393 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,700 BE OUTLAWED, AND THE PEOPLE WHO 394 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,600 PRODUCE AND DISTRIBUTE IT SHOULD 395 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,533 BE IMPRISONED." 396 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:26,333 AND THESE PROPOSALS ARE EXTREME, 397 00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:27,233 BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE 398 00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:29,233 THEM ARE EXTREME. 399 00:10:29,233 --> 00:10:30,533 THEY'VE BEEN LAYING ALL THIS OUT 400 00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,066 IN PLAIN VIEW, MOSTLY ON 401 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:32,833 CONSERVATIVE PODCASTS. 402 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,166 ONE OF THE MAJOR ARCHITECTS OF 403 00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:37,033 PROJECT 2025 IS RUSSELL VOUGHT 404 00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,033 WHO SERVED IN THE WHITE HOUSE 405 00:10:38,033 --> 00:10:40,733 DURING TRUMP'S FIRST TERM. 406 00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:41,600 HE'S A SELF-DESCRIBED "CHRISTIAN 407 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,200 NATIONALIST," AND HERE HE IS 408 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,033 MAKING A TARGETED PITCH FOR ONE 409 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:46,433 FUNDING CUT TRUMP COULD MAKE. 410 00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:47,000 I AM OPPOSED TO THE 411 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,933 DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, 'CAUSE 412 00:10:51,933 --> 00:10:52,733 I THINK IT'S THE DEPARTMENT OF 413 00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:53,300 CRITICAL RACE THEORY. 414 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:53,666 100%. 415 00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:54,766 I MEAN, YOU HAVE GRANTS AFTER 416 00:10:54,766 --> 00:10:55,366 GRANT OF CULTURALLY RESPONSIVE 417 00:10:55,366 --> 00:10:56,200 LEARNING, WHERE YOU'RE FUNDING, 418 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,800 ESSENTIALLY A CULTURAL 419 00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,600 REVOLUTION, NOT JUST WITH 420 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,166 TEACHERS, BUT WITH THE STUDENTS. 421 00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,633 THAT'S WHAT ALL THIS WOKEISM'S 422 00:11:03,633 --> 00:11:03,833 ABOUT. 423 00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:07,033 John: YEAH, APPARENTLY THE 424 00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,200 DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION IS 425 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:09,800 FUNDING A CULTURAL REVOLUTION. 426 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,333 I PRESUME THAT'S WHY EVERY 427 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,100 KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM NOW HAS 428 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:13,700 THE NEW EDITION OF BROWN BEAR 429 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,000 BROWN BEAR WHAT DO YOU SEE? 430 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:15,600 WHERE HE RESPONDS: A PARASITIC 431 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,666 MEMBER OF THE BOURGEOISIE." 432 00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:21,166 BUT VOUGHT AND THE REST OF THE 433 00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,300 PROJECT 2025 TEAM AREN'T JUST 434 00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,633 DEVISING POLICY-- THEY'RE 435 00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:25,200 MAKING SURE THEY'LL HAVE THE 436 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,200 RIGHT PEOPLE IN PLACE TO 437 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,666 IMPLEMENT IT. 438 00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:29,100 ONE OF THE REASONS TRUMP GOT OFF 439 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,033 TO A SLOW START LAST TIME IS 440 00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:31,633 THAT, BECAUSE NOBODY EXPECTED 441 00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:32,800 HIM TO WIN, THERE WASN'T A PLAN 442 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,033 IN PLACE FOR WHAT TO DO ONCE HE 443 00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:36,400 DID. 444 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:42,200 JARED, FAMOUSLY, TOURED THE 445 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:42,833 OBAMA WHITE HOUSE NOT LONG AFTER 446 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:43,400 THE ELECTION, AND ASKED "HOW 447 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,000 MANY OF THE INDIVIDUALS THERE 448 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:44,566 WOULD REMAIN INTO THE NEXT 449 00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:44,933 ADMINISTRATION." 450 00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:45,566 TO WHICH SOMEONE PRESUMABLY HAD 451 00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:46,433 TO TELL HIM "NOT MANY, YOU 452 00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:48,533 FUCKING IDIOT. 453 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:49,033 YOU HAVE TO HIRE PEOPLE 454 00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,666 YOURSELF. 455 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,100 THAT'S WHAT YOU JUST WON." 456 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,366 BUT THAT CONFUSION WON'T HAPPEN 457 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,566 THIS TIME, BECAUSE PROJECT 2025 458 00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:57,433 IS ASSEMBLING A DATABASE OF 459 00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:58,200 PROSPECTIVE HIRES-- NOT JUST 460 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,300 FOR THE WEST WING, BUT ACROSS 461 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,066 THE THE ENTIRE FEDERAL 462 00:12:01,066 --> 00:12:02,433 GOVERNMENT-- THAT THEY'VE 463 00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:03,800 LIKENED TO "A CONSERVATIVE 464 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:04,666 LINKEDIN." 465 00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,933 HERE'S ONE OF THE LEADERS OF 466 00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:07,466 THAT EFFORT, JOHN MCENTEE, 467 00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:08,066 MAKING HIS PITCH FOR PEOPLE TO 468 00:12:08,066 --> 00:12:09,900 SIGN UP. 469 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:10,533 IF YOU WANT TO WORK AND MAKE 470 00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:11,100 A DIFFERENCE, YOU CAN GO TO 471 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:15,733 Project2025.org. 472 00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:16,233 YOU CAN APPLY. 473 00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:16,766 YOU CAN TAKE THE TRAINING. 474 00:12:16,766 --> 00:12:18,300 YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT BEING A 475 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,566 POLITICAL APPOINTEE AND HOW TO 476 00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:21,100 BE EFFECTIVE, WHICH IS SO 477 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:21,866 IMPORTANT. 478 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:22,866 OKAY, YOU GOT THE JOB. 479 00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,066 NOW WHAT DO YOU DO? 480 00:12:24,066 --> 00:12:24,700 HOW DO YOU TAKE ON THE 481 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:25,433 BUREAUCRACY? 482 00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:25,966 HOW DO YOU DO ALL OF THESE 483 00:12:25,966 --> 00:12:27,000 THINGS. 484 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,066 SO, THAT'S WHERE WE'RE TRYING TO 485 00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:30,433 HELP JUST GIVE THE PRESIDENT A 486 00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,866 LITTLE LEG UP ON STAFFING. 487 00:12:32,866 --> 00:12:33,900 John: IT'S ESSENTIALLY 488 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:34,833 AN OPEN AUDITION FOR PEOPLE WHO 489 00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:36,600 MIGHT WANT A NEW JOB BECAUSE 490 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,933 THEY LOST THEIR OLD ONE BACK ON 491 00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:40,400 JANUARY 6TH FOR SOME REASON. 492 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,066 AND THEIR GOAL HERE IS CLEAR: TO 493 00:12:42,066 --> 00:12:44,333 ASSEMBLE "AN ARMY OF VETTED, 494 00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:45,800 TRAINED STAFF" WHO CAN "BEGIN 495 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:46,400 DISMANTLING THE ADMINISTRATIVE 496 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,933 STATE FROM DAY 1." 497 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:48,566 WHICH IS A LITTLE WEIRD, IF YOU 498 00:12:48,566 --> 00:12:50,166 THINK ABOUT IT. 499 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:52,333 THEY'RE ASSEMBLING AN ARMY OF 500 00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,133 FUTURE GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRATS 501 00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:54,733 WHO HATE THE GOVERNMENT. 502 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:55,866 IF YOU WERE INTERVIEWING FOR A 503 00:12:55,866 --> 00:12:57,366 JOB AT CHEERIOS, AND THE 504 00:12:57,366 --> 00:12:57,933 INTERVIEWER SAID "WHY DO YOU 505 00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:58,366 WANT TO WORK HERE?" 506 00:12:58,366 --> 00:12:59,600 AND YOU REPLIED "BECAUSE I HATE 507 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,000 CHEERIOS AND WANT TO DESTROY 508 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,466 IT," YOU'D BE IMMEDIATELY 509 00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:03,100 GRABBED BY SECURITY AND NEVER 510 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,600 SEEN AGAIN. 511 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,933 YOU THINK CHEERIOS FUCKS AROUND? 512 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,700 YOU THINK YOU RULE THE CEREAL 513 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,366 AISLE FOR 80 PLUS YEARS WITHOUT 514 00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:11,133 BURYING SOME BODIES? 515 00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:14,100 FUCK AROUND WITH CHEERIOS AND I 516 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,600 PROMISE YOU'LL FIND OUT. 517 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,133 AND ONCE PROJECT 2025'S WRECKING 518 00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:19,366 CREW IS IN PLACE, THEY'VE 519 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,700 OUTLINED A NUMBER OF STRATEGIES 520 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,200 THAT CAN BE USED TO MAKE SURE 521 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,500 TRUMP CAN DO AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE 522 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,533 WITHOUT NEEDING CONGRESS. 523 00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,766 A LOT OF THEM DERIVE FROM THE 524 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:29,333 SO-CALLED "UNITARY EXECUTIVE 525 00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:29,900 THEORY," WHICH WAS DEVELOPED 526 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:30,966 DURING THE REAGAN YEARS. 527 00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:32,600 ITS SUPPORTERS ARGUE THAT 528 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:33,566 "ARTICLE 2 OF THE CONSTITUTION 529 00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:35,000 GIVES THE PRESIDENT COMPLETE 530 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:35,533 CONTROL OF THE EXECUTIVE 531 00:13:35,533 --> 00:13:37,966 BRANCH." 532 00:13:37,966 --> 00:13:39,666 AS ONE PERSON WHO'S READ THAT 533 00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:40,300 MANIFESTO PUTS IT, IT TURNS THE 534 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,266 SEPARATION OF POWERS AMONG THE 535 00:13:42,266 --> 00:13:43,233 THREE BRANCHES INTO A GAME OF 536 00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:44,800 ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS-- EXCEPT 537 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,366 ROCK BEATS EVERYTHING. 538 00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:47,333 HERE'S ONE EXAMPLE: THERE USED 539 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,700 TO BE A THING CALLED 540 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:51,266 "IMPOUNDMENT," WHERE A PRESIDENT 541 00:13:51,266 --> 00:13:52,700 COULD STOP OR REDIRECT MONEY 542 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:57,300 THAT CONGRESS HAD ALREADY 543 00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:58,100 APPROPRIATED FOR SOMETHING. 544 00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:58,666 CONGRESS ACTUALLY MADE THAT 545 00:13:58,666 --> 00:14:01,033 ILLEGAL IN 1974, AFTER SOME 546 00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:01,533 ABUSES DURING THE NIXON 547 00:14:01,533 --> 00:14:02,400 ADMINISTRATION. 548 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,733 IT MAY ALSO RING A BELL BECAUSE 549 00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:07,600 IT CAME UP DURING TRUMP'S FIRST 550 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:08,333 IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS, WHEN HE 551 00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:08,933 HELD UP AID TO UKRAINE, TO TRY 552 00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:09,800 AND GET THEM TO LOOK FOR DIRT ON 553 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:10,733 THE BIDEN FAMILY. 554 00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:13,933 BUT TRUMP'S TEAM NOW WANT TO 555 00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:14,466 BRING IMPOUNDMENT BACK, TO 556 00:14:14,466 --> 00:14:15,833 THWART ANYTHING LIBERAL THAT 557 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,100 COMES OUT OF CAPITOL HILL. 558 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:17,933 JUST LISTEN TO LARRY KUDLOW, ONE 559 00:14:17,933 --> 00:14:21,400 OF TRUMP'S TOP ECONOMIC ADVISORS 560 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:21,966 IN HIS FIRST TERM, GET VERY 561 00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:22,566 EXCITED WHEN TALKING ABOUT IT. 562 00:14:22,566 --> 00:14:24,566 SO LET'S GET BACK TO, YOU 563 00:14:24,566 --> 00:14:26,466 KNOW, YOU AND I AGREE, HOW ABOUT 564 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,000 GIVING THE POWER-- 565 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,333 IMPOUNDMENT. 566 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:28,833 OF IMPOUNDMENT TO THE 567 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:29,800 PRESIDENT? 568 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:30,466 IMPOUNDMENT. 569 00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:31,733 IT'S A GREAT IDEA. 570 00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:33,300 IMPOUND THEIR TUCHUSES OFF. 571 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,533 IMPOUND THEIR REAR ENDS OFF. 572 00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:36,066 YEAH. 573 00:14:36,066 --> 00:14:36,766 [LAUGHS] 574 00:14:36,766 --> 00:14:39,433 THAT'S WHAT YOU DO AND LEAVE 575 00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:39,933 ALL THIS LEGISLATIVE BS. 576 00:14:39,933 --> 00:14:43,266 JUST IMPOUND, IMPOUND, IMPOUND. 577 00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:44,100 John: WOW, HE'S GETTING FIRED 578 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,766 UP THERE. 579 00:14:45,766 --> 00:14:47,066 ALSO, "IMPOUND THEIR REAR ENDS 580 00:14:47,066 --> 00:14:48,666 OFF" SOUNDS LESS LIKE A 581 00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:50,200 STATEMENT ABOUT PRESIDENTIAL 582 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,033 POWER AND MORE LIKE A SLOGAN 583 00:14:53,033 --> 00:14:53,833 FROM A PRIDE EVENT IN THE "CARS" 584 00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:55,166 UNIVERSE. 585 00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:55,666 BUT IT GOES WELL BEYOND 586 00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:56,633 IMPOUNDMENT. 587 00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:57,733 IN FACT, IT'S ONE OF THE MOST 588 00:14:57,733 --> 00:14:59,133 BORING-SOUNDING PARTS OF PROJECT 589 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,533 2025 THAT COULD ACTUALLY END UP 590 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:02,800 BEING THE MOST INSIDIOUS, 591 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,433 BECAUSE IT COULD MAKE ACHIEVING 592 00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:05,633 ALL TRUMP'S OTHER GOALS SO MUCH 593 00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:07,000 EASIER. 594 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,233 IT'S CALLED "SCHEDULE F." 595 00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:09,266 AND TO EXPLAIN IT, I'M AFRAID 596 00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:10,466 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BRIEFLY 597 00:15:10,466 --> 00:15:13,333 TALK ABOUT GOVERNMENT HR 598 00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:14,400 PROCEDURES. 599 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,266 SO JUST SIT TIGHT, AND WHEN 600 00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:18,000 WE'RE DONE, I PROMISE, I'LL PLAY 601 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,833 YOU ANOTHER CLIP FROM 602 00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,466 "MILF MANOR" AS A REWARD. 603 00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,066 VERY BASICALLY, THERE ARE TWO 604 00:15:22,066 --> 00:15:24,033 KINDS OF FEDERAL EMPLOYEES. 605 00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:24,866 THE FIRST GROUP ARE MERIT-BASED, 606 00:15:24,866 --> 00:15:26,466 CAREER POSITIONS. 607 00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:29,333 THESE JOBS TEND TO BE EXPERTS, 608 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:29,900 ADMINISTRATORS, AND SUPPORT 609 00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:30,566 STAFF THAT DO THE IMPORTANT WORK 610 00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:31,100 OF KEEPING THE GOVERNMENT 611 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,166 RUNNING. 612 00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:36,266 IT COULD BE AN ENGINEER AT NASA, 613 00:15:36,266 --> 00:15:37,233 A NURSE AT THE V.A., OR A 614 00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:37,900 RAILROAD SAFETY INSPECTOR AT THE 615 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,700 DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION. 616 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,200 WORKERS LIKE THAT HAVE ROBUST 617 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:43,800 EMPLOYEE PROTECTIONS, MEANING 618 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,600 THEY CAN'T BE FIRED FOR 619 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,433 POLITICAL REASONS, BECAUSE THEIR 620 00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:46,933 JOBS AREN'T POLITICAL. 621 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,466 THAT WAY THEY CAN WORK OVER MANY 622 00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:50,300 ADMINISTRATIONS, GAINING THE 623 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,066 KIND OF EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE THE 624 00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:52,966 GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO FUNCTION. 625 00:15:52,966 --> 00:15:55,300 THE SECOND GROUP CONSISTS OF 626 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,300 POLITICAL APPOINTEES, LIKE 627 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:56,900 CABINET SECRETARIES AND THOSE 628 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,633 UNDER THEM. 629 00:15:58,633 --> 00:16:00,033 THEY'RE HIRED BY A NEW 630 00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:02,033 ADMINISTRATION TO ENSURE THE 631 00:16:02,033 --> 00:16:02,800 CAMPAIGN PROMISES OF THE NEW 632 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,933 PRESIDENT ARE BEING WORKED ON, 633 00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:05,600 AND THEY TEND TO LEAVE WHEN THAT 634 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,566 ADMINISTRATION DOES. 635 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,466 THERE ARE ABOUT 2 MILLION CAREER 636 00:16:09,466 --> 00:16:11,500 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES, AND ONLY 637 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,000 ABOUT 4,000 POLITICAL ONES, WHO 638 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:13,600 CHANGE DEPENDING ON WHO'S IN 639 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,733 CHARGE. 640 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:18,433 THOSE ARE THE ONES THE NEW 641 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:21,200 ADMINISTRATIONS DO HAVE TO HIRE 642 00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,200 IN, JARED, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. 643 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,166 OKAY, THAT IS, ESSENTIALLY ALL 644 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,000 THE BACKGROUND YOU NEED TO KNOW 645 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:25,500 ABOUT FEDERAL PERSONNEL 646 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,566 MANAGEMENT. 647 00:16:26,566 --> 00:16:28,533 IF YOU'RE BORED, IT'S OVER, AND 648 00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,666 IF YOU'RE HARD, WELCOME HOME. 649 00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:34,000 AND EITHER WAY, HERE'S THAT 650 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,666 PROMISED CLIP FROM "MILF MANOR". 651 00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:40,200 I'M DEFINITELY CONFLICTED 652 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,566 KISSING JOEY AND IT IS SO WEIRD 653 00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:42,166 BECAUSE MY SON'S NAME IS JOEY 654 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:46,600 AND THEY KIND OF LOOK ALIKE. 655 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,733 John: OH, MY GOD! 656 00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:51,666 OH, MY GOD! 657 00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:54,333 I WILL SAY THIS, I KNOW THAT'S 658 00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:56,433 GROSS AND INCESTUOUS BUT I WILL 659 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,466 SAY, YOU ALL LIKED THAT SHIT 660 00:16:57,466 --> 00:16:59,133 WHEN IT WAS ON "GAME OF 661 00:16:59,133 --> 00:16:59,400 THRONES." 662 00:16:59,400 --> 00:16:59,900 YOU LAPPED IT RIGHT UP! 663 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:00,533 IF THAT CLIP HAD A DRAGON IN IT 664 00:17:00,533 --> 00:17:01,133 WOULD THAT MAKE IT BETTER FOR 665 00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:01,666 YOU? 666 00:17:01,666 --> 00:17:02,466 ANYWAY, DURING TRUMP'S FIRST 667 00:17:02,466 --> 00:17:03,466 TERM, HE GOT FRUSTRATED BY THE 668 00:17:03,466 --> 00:17:04,533 FACT SO MANY OF THE CAREER 669 00:17:04,533 --> 00:17:07,333 GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES SEEMED TO 670 00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:07,966 BE UNDERMINING HIM-- BY TELLING 671 00:17:07,966 --> 00:17:10,466 HIM THINGS HE WANTED TO DO WERE 672 00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:11,100 ILLEGAL, OR THAT THINGS HE SAID 673 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,533 WERE WRONG, OR, Y'KNOW, 674 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:13,500 TESTIFYING PUBLICLY ABOUT THE 675 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,733 LAWS THEY'D SEEN HIM BREAK. 676 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:15,966 BUT "SCHEDULE F" WOULD FIX ALL 677 00:17:15,966 --> 00:17:17,833 THAT. 678 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,300 BASICALLY, IT'S A NEW 679 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:19,533 DESIGNATION THAT WOULD 680 00:17:19,533 --> 00:17:22,500 RECLASSIFY AROUND 50,000 CAREER 681 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,200 CIVIL SERVANTS AS POLITICAL 682 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,433 APPOINTEES, MEANING THEY 683 00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:28,800 WOULDN'T HAVE CIVIL SERVICE 684 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:29,966 PROTECTIONS FROM GETTING FIRED, 685 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:30,600 AND WHOEVER REPLACES THEM COULD 686 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,233 BE HIRED ON LOYALTY, NOT ON 687 00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:32,600 MERIT. 688 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:38,100 HERE'S RUSSELL VOUGHT, 689 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:38,833 EXPLAINING THE PLAN TO DON JR.'S 690 00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:39,266 FIANCE. 691 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:39,866 WE HAVE A NUMBER OF IDEAS, 692 00:17:39,866 --> 00:17:42,433 MOST NOTABLY SCHEDULE F, WHICH 693 00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:43,466 ALLOWS US TO RECLASSIFY. 694 00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:45,700 IF YOU WORK ON POLICY, YOU HAVE 695 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,100 THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE 696 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,866 RECLASSIFIED AND TURN INTO AN 697 00:17:49,866 --> 00:17:50,300 AT-WILL EMPLOYMENT. 698 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,066 THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE GOING 699 00:17:52,066 --> 00:17:53,200 TO GET FIRED TOMORROW, BUT THAT 700 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,733 DOES MEAN THAT YOU ARE NOW 701 00:17:54,733 --> 00:17:55,933 WORKING FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE 702 00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,133 UNITED STATES, YOU'RE NOT 703 00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,766 WORKING FOR YOUR OWN INSTITUTION 704 00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:00,433 OR YOUR OWN INSTITUTIONAL 705 00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:00,933 BENEFITS. 706 00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:02,333 John: RIGHT, YOU DON'T WORK 707 00:18:02,433 --> 00:18:03,500 FOR THE INSTITUTION, YOU WORK 708 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,466 FOR THE PRESIDENT. 709 00:18:05,466 --> 00:18:06,300 SO IF, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU'RE A 710 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,066 GOVERNMENT WEATHER FORECASTER 711 00:18:07,066 --> 00:18:08,600 USING YOUR EXPERTISE TO PREDICT 712 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,766 THE PATH OF A HURRICANE, AND, 713 00:18:09,766 --> 00:18:11,133 HYPOTHETICALLY, A PRESIDENT 714 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,000 ASSEMBLES THE PRESS, ONLY FOR IT 715 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,866 TO BECOME CLEAR THAT HE'S 716 00:18:13,866 --> 00:18:15,833 EXTENDED YOUR MAP IN BLACK 717 00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,266 SHARPIE FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, 718 00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:18,900 YOUR JOB ISN'T TO CORRECT HIM, 719 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:19,533 IT'S TO SAY "ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, 720 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,133 MR. PRESIDENT. 721 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,033 YOU TRULY ARE THE BEST AT 722 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,433 WEATHER." 723 00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:25,200 EXCEPT THE TRUTH IS, HE WOULDN'T 724 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,466 EVEN NEED A SHARPIE TO DO IT 725 00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:28,233 NEXT TIME, BECAUSE WHATEVER MAP 726 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,600 EXISTS IN HIS HEAD WOULD ALREADY 727 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,666 BE THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF THE 728 00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:33,200 NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE. 729 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,066 IN THAT INTERVIEW, VOUGHT GOES 730 00:18:34,066 --> 00:18:35,100 ON TO LAY OUT EXACTLY WHAT 731 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,666 SCHEDULE F WOULD DO, AND IT'S 732 00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:38,266 WORTH LISTENING TO HIM CLOSELY 733 00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,633 BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT, EVEN IF 734 00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:41,233 KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE IS CLEARLY 735 00:18:41,233 --> 00:18:44,400 NOT LISTENING TO HIM AT ALL. 736 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,333 THE WHOLE NOTION OF 737 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,766 INDEPENDENCE, KIMBERLY, THERE'S 738 00:18:47,766 --> 00:18:49,100 THIS VIEW FOR 100 YEARS THAT 739 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:52,733 AGENCIES SHOULD BE INDEPENDENT 740 00:18:52,733 --> 00:18:53,833 OF THE PRESIDENT, AND SOME OF 741 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,033 THEM ARE REALLY INDEPENDENT 742 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,233 UNDER STATUTE, AND SOME OF THEM 743 00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:56,800 JUST WANT TO CALL THEMSELVES 744 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,733 INDEPENDENT. 745 00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:58,366 SURE. 746 00:18:58,366 --> 00:19:00,700 ALL OF IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL. 747 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:01,266 AND ALL OF IT IS DESIGNED SO 748 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,233 THAT A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED 749 00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:05,233 STATES CAN'T CALL THESE 750 00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:07,100 INDIVIDUALS UP AND SAY, "HEY, 751 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:07,933 YOU GUYS WORK FOR ME. 752 00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:14,666 THIS IS MY POLICY AGENDA. 753 00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:15,300 THESE ARE-- THIS IS WHAT I WANT 754 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:15,600 YOU TO DO." 755 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:16,300 John: I WILL SAY, THAT 756 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:16,900 DEAD-EYED "SURE" IS ABSOLUTELY 757 00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:17,600 THE LEVEL OF CONVERSATIONAL 758 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,100 BUY-IN I'D EXPECT FROM SOMEONE 759 00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:21,066 IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DON JR. 760 00:19:21,066 --> 00:19:22,400 THERE ARE TIBETAN MONKS WHO 761 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,833 AREN'T THAT GOOD AT MENTALLY 762 00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:24,900 TRANSPORTING THEMSELVES 763 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,500 SOMEWHERE ELSE. 764 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,033 NOW, INTERESTINGLY, TRUMP 765 00:19:29,033 --> 00:19:30,100 ACTUALLY SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE 766 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,600 ORDER ENACTING THIS "SCHEDULE F" 767 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,600 PLAN BACK IN OCTOBER OF 2020, 768 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,966 BUT BARELY ANYONE NOTICED 769 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,266 BECAUSE THE WHOLE THING HAD BEEN 770 00:19:36,266 --> 00:19:38,600 DEVELOPED IN STRICT SECRECY, AND 771 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,433 ISSUED ONLY TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE 772 00:19:39,433 --> 00:19:41,833 ELECTION. 773 00:19:41,933 --> 00:19:42,433 UNDER IT, ANYONE WITH A ROLE 774 00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:44,266 "DEVELOPING POLICY" COULD BE 775 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,933 RECLASSIFIED. 776 00:19:45,933 --> 00:19:47,300 BUT THEY BASICALLY DECIDED THAT 777 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:48,733 ALMOST ANY ROLE COULD BE 778 00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:50,366 POLICY-RELATED. 779 00:19:50,366 --> 00:19:51,833 IN FACT, VOUGHT-- WHO WAS 780 00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:54,000 SERVING AS TRUMP'S DIRECTOR OF 781 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,133 THE OFFICE OF MANAGEMENT AND 782 00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:56,633 BUDGET AT THE TIME-- DREW UP A 783 00:19:56,633 --> 00:19:58,033 LIST OF POTENTIAL EMPLOYEES THAT 784 00:19:58,033 --> 00:20:00,066 COULD BE RECLASSIFIED THAT 785 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:00,866 AMOUNTED TO 68% OF HIS 786 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,866 DEPARTMENT'S WORKFORCE. 787 00:20:03,866 --> 00:20:05,666 THANKFULLY, BIDEN UNDID SCHEDULE 788 00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:06,200 F IMMEDIATELY UPON TAKING 789 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,066 OFFICE. 790 00:20:07,066 --> 00:20:07,900 BUT TRUMP SAYS HE PLANS TO 791 00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,300 REINSTATE IT ON DAY ONE OF HIS 792 00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:12,933 SECOND TERM. 793 00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,000 AND TO UNDERSTAND JUST HOW 794 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,200 CONSEQUENTIAL THAT COULD BE, 795 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:16,800 IT'S WORTH GOING BACK TO THAT 796 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:17,333 GUY YOU SAW EARLIER, JOHN 797 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:17,866 MCENTEE. 798 00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:19,500 HE'S A BIG PROPONENT OF SCHEDULE 799 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,566 F. 800 00:20:20,566 --> 00:20:21,200 HE ALSO HAPPENED TO WORK AS THE 801 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,966 DIRECTOR OF THE WHITE HOUSE 802 00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:25,866 PERSONNEL OFFICE FOR THE LAST 803 00:20:25,866 --> 00:20:26,500 YEAR OF TRUMP'S FIRST TERM-- A 804 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,400 JOB HE GOT AT THE AGE OF JUST 805 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,066 29, AFTER INITIALLY STARTING OUT 806 00:20:29,066 --> 00:20:31,000 AS THE GUY WHO LITERALLY CARRIED 807 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,600 TRUMP'S BAGS. 808 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,033 HERE'S McENTEE TELLING THE FUN 809 00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:36,600 STORY OF HOW HE GOT HIS BIG 810 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:37,433 PROMOTION. 811 00:20:37,433 --> 00:20:37,966 I WAS WALKING WITH THE 812 00:20:37,966 --> 00:20:38,733 PRESIDENT ON THE COLONNADE IN 813 00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:40,466 THE WHITE HOUSE. 814 00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:41,100 HE SAID, "WHAT-- WHAT'S ON THE 815 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,433 SCHEDULE TODAY? 816 00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:44,033 I WAS READING THROUGH, 9:00 AM 817 00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:44,866 THIS, 10:00 AM, THAT." 818 00:20:44,866 --> 00:20:45,666 I SAID, "YOU HAVE YOUR PPO 819 00:20:45,666 --> 00:20:46,533 MEETING." 820 00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:47,433 HE SAID, "PPO?" 821 00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:48,700 I SAID, "YEAH, THE PERSONNEL 822 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,966 OFFICE IS COMING BY." 823 00:20:49,966 --> 00:20:51,066 HE SAID, "OH, I'VE ALWAYS HAD SO 824 00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:51,700 MANY PROBLEMS WITH THAT OFFICE. 825 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,000 I'VE-- " 826 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,266 YOU KNOW. 827 00:20:54,266 --> 00:20:55,033 AND THEN HE JUST LOOKED AT ME 828 00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:55,833 AND SAID, "DO YOU THINK YOU 829 00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:58,100 COULD RUN THAT OFFICE?" 830 00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,266 AND FOR SOME REASON, I SAID, 831 00:20:59,266 --> 00:21:01,733 "YES, I COULD RUN THAT OFFICE." 832 00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:04,133 John: WOW. 833 00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:05,500 THAT'S AN AMAZING STORY. 834 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,500 ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD 835 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,700 IT MAKES YOU LOOK, TO BE HONEST. 836 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,966 "SO THERE I WAS, HOLDING THE 837 00:21:10,966 --> 00:21:12,366 PRESIDENT'S PURSE, WHEN HE SAYS 838 00:21:12,366 --> 00:21:13,000 "HEY YOU, YOU'RE ALIVE AND IN MY 839 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:13,666 FIELD OF VISION. 840 00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:14,733 DO YOU WANT TO DO SOME SHIT SO I 841 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:15,400 DON'T HAVE TO?" 842 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,000 HE REALLY SAW MY VALUE IN THAT 843 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,766 MOMENT." 844 00:21:19,866 --> 00:21:21,733 BY ALL ACCOUNTS, MCENTEE USED 845 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:22,366 HIS SUDDEN POWER TO PURGE ANYONE 846 00:21:22,466 --> 00:21:24,600 EVEN SUSPECTED OF DISLOYALTY TO 847 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:25,766 THE PRESIDENT. 848 00:21:25,766 --> 00:21:26,500 HIS TEAM PULLED IN EVEN FAIRLY 849 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,033 LOW-LEVEL EMPLOYEES TO MAKE SURE 850 00:21:28,033 --> 00:21:29,933 THEY TOED THE TRUMP PARTY LINE 851 00:21:29,933 --> 00:21:30,700 FOR INSTANCE, AN OFFICE 852 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:33,100 ASSISTANT AT THE DOJ WAS ASKED 853 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,500 TO EXPLAIN WHY SHE'D VOTED IN A 854 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,100 LOCAL DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY A FEW 855 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,966 YEARS EARLIER. 856 00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:39,733 AND EMPLOYEES WERE EXPECTED TO 857 00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:42,266 ENDORSE POLICIES THAT HAD 858 00:21:42,266 --> 00:21:44,300 NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR WORK. 859 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,200 OFFICIALS AT THE EPA AND HUD 860 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,466 WERE APPARENTLY ASKED, "DO YOU 861 00:21:48,466 --> 00:21:49,100 SUPPORT THE PRESIDENT'S PLAN TO 862 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,366 WITHDRAW ALL U.S. TROOPS FROM 863 00:21:51,366 --> 00:21:52,066 AFGHANISTAN?" 864 00:21:52,066 --> 00:21:53,933 AND PITY THE RANDOM PLANT 865 00:21:54,033 --> 00:21:54,566 BIOLOGIST AT THE EPA WHO HAD TO 866 00:21:54,666 --> 00:21:57,666 BE LIKE, "I DUNNO, HOW WILL IT 867 00:21:57,666 --> 00:22:02,000 AFFECT FERNS?" 868 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:02,900 INCIDENTALLY, SINCE LEAVING THE 869 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:03,533 WHITE HOUSE, MCENTEE'S KEPT BUSY 870 00:22:03,533 --> 00:22:04,133 NOT ONLY WORKING ON PROJECT 871 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:04,700 2025, BUT ALSO STARTING THIS 872 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:08,266 TERRIBLE CONSERVATIVE DATING APP 873 00:22:08,266 --> 00:22:10,266 CALLED "THE RIGHT STUFF." 874 00:22:10,266 --> 00:22:10,866 I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT 875 00:22:10,866 --> 00:22:15,800 SOMETHING I AM SO EXCITED TO 876 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,933 ANNOUNCE: A DATING APP FOR ALL 877 00:22:19,933 --> 00:22:20,733 OF US CONSERVATIVES. 878 00:22:20,733 --> 00:22:21,300 YOU'LL START OFF BY BUILDING 879 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:21,833 YOUR PERFECT PROFILE-- NO 880 00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:22,266 PRONOUNS NECESSARY. 881 00:22:22,266 --> 00:22:22,833 WE WANT YOU TO PUT YOUR BEST 882 00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:24,133 FOOT FORWARD, WHICH INCLUDES 883 00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:25,500 YOUR FAVORITE PHOTOS OF YOURSELF 884 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:26,766 DOING WHAT YOU LOVE OR BEING 885 00:22:26,866 --> 00:22:31,000 WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. 886 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:31,500 OUR PROMPTS GIVE YOU THE 887 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:32,900 OPPORTUNITY TO LET PEOPLE KNOW 888 00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:33,366 VARIOUS SIDES OF YOU. 889 00:22:33,366 --> 00:22:34,466 SO REMEMBER, BE AUTHENTIC AND 890 00:22:34,466 --> 00:22:36,566 CREATIVE. 891 00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:37,433 John: OKAY, A FEW THINGS. 892 00:22:37,433 --> 00:22:38,000 FIRST, YOU DON'T NEED A NEW 893 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:38,966 DATING APP TO FIND CONSERVATIVES 894 00:22:38,966 --> 00:22:40,366 ONLINE. 895 00:22:40,366 --> 00:22:41,200 JUST GO ONTO ANY EXISTING APP 896 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:41,900 AND FILTER FOR PEOPLE WHO 897 00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,100 DESCRIBE THEIR VIEWS AS 898 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,133 "MODERATE." 899 00:22:45,133 --> 00:22:46,833 ANY SINGLE WOMAN IN A BIG CITY 900 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:48,833 CAN TELL YOU, "MODERATE" JUST 901 00:22:48,833 --> 00:22:49,433 MEANS "I'M A RIGHT-WING NUTJOB 902 00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:49,966 BUT I'D LIKE TO GET LAID, 903 00:22:49,966 --> 00:22:51,400 PLEASE." 904 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,033 AND THERE'S SO MUCH IN THAT AD, 905 00:22:53,033 --> 00:22:54,533 FROM THE IMAGE OF TRUMP HIMSELF 906 00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:55,700 IN ONE OF THE PROFILE PHOTOS, TO 907 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:58,033 THE FACT SOME OF THOSE FUN 908 00:22:58,033 --> 00:22:58,733 "PROMPTS" INCLUDE NAMING YOUR 909 00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:00,800 FAVORITE "LIBERAL LIE." 910 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:02,666 AND IF YOU GO ON THE APP, YOU'LL 911 00:23:02,766 --> 00:23:06,366 FIND ANOTHER PROMPT FOR YOU TO 912 00:23:06,366 --> 00:23:06,833 FILL IN THAT JUST SAYS 913 00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:08,233 "JANUARY 6TH WAS..." 914 00:23:08,233 --> 00:23:09,100 AND WHAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWER 915 00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,566 WHEN A DATING APP ASKS YOU TO 916 00:23:11,566 --> 00:23:14,266 RATE AN INSURRECTION? 917 00:23:14,266 --> 00:23:15,066 "JANUARY 6TH WAS... 918 00:23:15,066 --> 00:23:16,400 A TOTAL TURN ON, NOW GET OVER 919 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,533 HERE AND SHATTER MY ASSHOLE LIKE 920 00:23:18,533 --> 00:23:23,100 IT'S A CAPITOL WINDOW?" 921 00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:24,300 MCENTEE ALSO CREATED A TIKTOK 922 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:26,133 ACCOUNT FOR THE SITE, WHERE 923 00:23:26,133 --> 00:23:27,066 EVERY VIDEO SEEMS TO BE A POV 924 00:23:27,066 --> 00:23:28,466 SHOT OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ON 925 00:23:28,466 --> 00:23:29,100 A DATE WITH HIM, WHICH SEEMS TO 926 00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:31,566 BE AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE. 927 00:23:31,566 --> 00:23:32,933 I WAS WATCHING TV YESTERDAY, 928 00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:35,466 WHICH I USUALLY DON'T DO, AND I 929 00:23:35,566 --> 00:23:40,800 NOTICED SOMETHING WITH THE 930 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:41,966 COMMERCIALS, WHEN DID EVERYONE 931 00:23:41,966 --> 00:23:42,600 IN AMERICA BECOME BLACK AND GAY? 932 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,200 DO YOU REALLY THINK HANDING 933 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,633 OVER YOUR GUN ENDS GUN VIOLENCE? 934 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:49,033 THAT'S LIKE CHOPPING OFF YOUR 935 00:23:49,033 --> 00:23:50,766 OWN DICK TO STOP RAPE. 936 00:23:50,766 --> 00:23:52,566 IF YOU SAY PALESTINIANS 937 00:23:52,566 --> 00:23:55,400 DESERVE A HOMELAND JUST FOR 938 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,833 THEMSELVES YOU'RE WOKE, BUT IF 939 00:23:56,833 --> 00:23:58,366 YOU SAY WHITE PEOPLE DESERVE A 940 00:23:58,366 --> 00:23:59,133 HOMELAND JUST FOR THEMSELVES 941 00:23:59,133 --> 00:24:01,666 YOU'RE RACIST? 942 00:24:01,666 --> 00:24:02,433 IT'S FUNNY HOW NEW YORK WENT 943 00:24:02,433 --> 00:24:04,700 FROM TRYING TO BAN BIG GULPS TO 944 00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:07,100 PEOPLE OPENLY SHITTING IN THE 945 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,800 STREET. 946 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:10,466 John: OKAY! 947 00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:12,800 YOU CLEARLY HAVE SOME QUESTIONS, 948 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,366 AND I CAN SEE YOUR FOOD IS 949 00:24:13,366 --> 00:24:15,566 GETTING COLD, SO REAL QUICK: ONE 950 00:24:15,566 --> 00:24:16,933 EVERYONE IN AMERICA ISN'T 951 00:24:16,933 --> 00:24:17,966 BLACK AND GAY, THOUGH SOME 952 00:24:17,966 --> 00:24:18,566 PEOPLE ARE, AND SOMETIMES THEY 953 00:24:18,566 --> 00:24:20,700 DO APPEAR IN COMMERCIALS. 954 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:21,300 TWO, TO BE CLEAR, I THINK YOU 955 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:22,633 JUST MADE YOURSELF THE RAPIST IN 956 00:24:22,633 --> 00:24:24,533 YOUR OWN HYPOTHETICAL THERE. 957 00:24:24,533 --> 00:24:25,833 THREE, IS WANTING A HOMELAND 958 00:24:25,833 --> 00:24:27,933 JUST FOR WHITE PEOPLE RACIST? 959 00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:28,500 YES, YES, IT IS, THANKS FOR 960 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:29,800 ASKING. 961 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,000 AND FINALLY, PEOPLE IN NEW YORK 962 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,933 HAVE BEEN SHITTING OPENLY IN THE 963 00:24:32,933 --> 00:24:34,566 STREET LONG BEFORE BIG GULPS 964 00:24:34,566 --> 00:24:36,866 WERE EVEN INVENTED. 965 00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:38,300 AND IT'S AN ODD THING TO BRING 966 00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:39,133 UP SECONDS BEFORE INSERTING AN 967 00:24:39,133 --> 00:24:41,500 ENTIRE HAMBURGER INTO YOUR FACE. 968 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,900 AND WHILE I KNOW THOSE TIKTOKS 969 00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:45,033 ARE VERY, VERY DUMB, ONE OF 970 00:24:45,033 --> 00:24:45,633 THEM'S ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD 971 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:47,400 REMINDER OF MCENTEE'S ENTIRE 972 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,933 PHILOSOPHY WHEN IT COMES TO 973 00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:51,433 GOVERNMENT STAFFING. 974 00:24:51,433 --> 00:24:53,933 SO ELON MUSK CUT 90% OF 975 00:24:53,933 --> 00:24:55,300 TWITTER'S STAFF AND IT'S STILL 976 00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:56,833 WORKING FINE. 977 00:24:56,833 --> 00:24:57,633 SHOULD WE TRY THAT WITH 978 00:24:57,633 --> 00:24:58,966 GOVERNMENT NEXT? 979 00:24:58,966 --> 00:25:01,366 John: YEAH, IS THAT THE BEST 980 00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,266 COMPARISON, THOUGH? 981 00:25:02,266 --> 00:25:04,266 BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE TWITTER IS 982 00:25:04,266 --> 00:25:06,033 "WORKING FINE" SO MUCH AS IT'S 983 00:25:06,033 --> 00:25:07,133 "A RUINED CASTLE SLOWLY SINKING 984 00:25:07,133 --> 00:25:08,800 INTO THE BOG OF IRRELEVANCE." 985 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:09,433 BUT I GUESS THERE ARE A LOT MORE 986 00:25:09,433 --> 00:25:10,566 NAZIS ON THERE NOW WHICH DOES 987 00:25:10,566 --> 00:25:11,166 SEEM TO TRACK WITH YOUR PLANS 988 00:25:11,166 --> 00:25:13,733 FOR GOVERNMENT. 989 00:25:13,833 --> 00:25:15,666 AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING THERE 990 00:25:15,666 --> 00:25:16,300 AREN'T LOTS OF WAYS TO MAKE THE 991 00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:18,166 GOVERNMENT MORE EFFICIENT. 992 00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:19,100 THERE ARE, BUT THIS ISN'T THE 993 00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:20,500 WAY TO DO IT. 994 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,966 BECAUSE THERE'S CLEARLY A 995 00:25:21,966 --> 00:25:24,433 PROBLEM WITH MAKING LARGE CHUNKS 996 00:25:24,433 --> 00:25:25,333 OF THE GOVERNMENT SUBORDINATE TO 997 00:25:25,333 --> 00:25:29,000 THE WHIMS OF THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE 998 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,066 AND HIS ADVISER/AMATEUR/ 999 00:25:31,066 --> 00:25:33,566 FOOD COMEDIAN/FOUNDER OF 1000 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:34,566 TRADWIFE E-HARMONY-- ESPECIALLY 1001 00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:36,533 WHEN THIS PARTICULAR CHIEF 1002 00:25:36,533 --> 00:25:38,533 EXECUTIVE FAMOUSLY VALUES 1003 00:25:38,533 --> 00:25:39,033 LOYALTY OVER ALL ELSE. 1004 00:25:39,033 --> 00:25:40,433 JUST LISTEN TO THIS HEAD OF A 1005 00:25:40,433 --> 00:25:41,033 GOVERNMENT-WORKER UNION POINT 1006 00:25:41,033 --> 00:25:43,000 OUT THE OBVIOUS. 1007 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,566 DO YOU WANT PEOPLE DOING 1008 00:25:43,566 --> 00:25:44,533 SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH AT THE 1009 00:25:44,533 --> 00:25:46,233 NUCLEAR REGULATORY COMMISSION 1010 00:25:46,233 --> 00:25:47,133 WHO DON'T HAVE THE 1011 00:25:47,233 --> 00:25:48,733 QUALIFICATIONS TO PERFORM THAT 1012 00:25:48,833 --> 00:25:49,466 KIND OF WORK? 1013 00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:52,000 THEIR ONLY QUALIFICATION IS AN 1014 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,566 ALLEGIANCE TO THE TRUMP AGENDA. 1015 00:25:54,566 --> 00:25:55,133 IT'S VERY DISHEARTENING AND 1016 00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:56,800 IT'S-- IT'S SCARY. 1017 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:57,966 I THINK THAT THERE WILL BE A 1018 00:25:57,966 --> 00:26:01,533 MASSIVE EXODUS OF COMPETENCE. 1019 00:26:01,533 --> 00:26:02,866 John: RIGHT, WHEN YOU FIRE 1020 00:26:02,866 --> 00:26:04,066 EVERYONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE 1021 00:26:04,066 --> 00:26:05,666 DOING AND ONLY HIRE PEOPLE WHO 1022 00:26:05,666 --> 00:26:06,433 WILL SAY YES TO THE RICH GUY IN 1023 00:26:06,433 --> 00:26:07,800 CHARGE, THAT'S NOT A RECIPE FOR 1024 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,400 GOOD GOVERNMENT. 1025 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,466 IT'S A RECIPE FOR THE TITAN 1026 00:26:10,466 --> 00:26:12,000 SUBMERSIBLE. 1027 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,600 I DON'T WANT SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH 1028 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,900 ABOUT NUCLEAR POWER BEING DONE 1029 00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:17,500 BY PEOPLE WITHOUT EXPERIENCE. 1030 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:19,266 I DON'T WANT MY LATTE MADE BY 1031 00:26:19,266 --> 00:26:20,300 SOMEONE WITHOUT EXPERIENCE. 1032 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:21,400 "OH, IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY? 1033 00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,700 I'M SORRY, STEP ASIDE. 1034 00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:25,133 GIVE ME THE DOUR BARISTA WITH A 1035 00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:26,233 FULL SLEEVE OF TECHNO-BOTANICAL 1036 00:26:26,233 --> 00:26:27,766 STICK-AND-POKE TATTOOS AND A 1037 00:26:27,766 --> 00:26:31,633 SEPTUM PIERCING WHO ONLY WORKS 1038 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:34,133 FIVE YEARS AND HATES EVERYBODY 1039 00:26:34,133 --> 00:26:34,333 HERE. 1040 00:26:34,333 --> 00:26:36,566 EXPERIENCE MATTERS." 1041 00:26:36,566 --> 00:26:37,133 AND LOOK, THERE ARE AGENCIES 1042 00:26:37,133 --> 00:26:37,766 WHERE YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT A 1043 00:26:37,766 --> 00:26:38,300 PRESIDENT INTERFERING FOR 1044 00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:38,933 POLITICAL ADVANTAGE-- LIKE THE 1045 00:26:38,933 --> 00:26:39,533 DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE, OR THE 1046 00:26:39,533 --> 00:26:42,033 EPA. 1047 00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:46,133 BUT THERE ARE ALSO LESS OBVIOUS 1048 00:26:46,133 --> 00:26:52,366 THE PRESIDENT COULD EXERT A LOT 1049 00:26:52,366 --> 00:26:53,100 MORE POWER BY TELLING PEOPLE 1050 00:26:53,100 --> 00:26:54,133 WHAT TO DO. 1051 00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:54,900 FOR INSTANCE, TRUMP WOULDN'T 1052 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:55,466 NEED CONGRESS TO VOTE ON A 1053 00:26:55,466 --> 00:26:56,000 NATIONWIDE BAN ON ABORTION 1054 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,766 DRUGS, WHEN HE COULD SIMPLY HAVE 1055 00:26:56,766 --> 00:26:58,566 HIS FDA DECLARE THEM UNSAFE 1056 00:26:58,566 --> 00:26:59,833 INSTEAD-- THAT PLAN, 1057 00:26:59,833 --> 00:27:01,133 INCIDENTALLY, IS SPECIFICALLY 1058 00:27:01,133 --> 00:27:02,766 SPELLED OUT IN PROJECT 2025'S 1059 00:27:02,766 --> 00:27:05,133 HANDBOOK, WHICH SUGGESTS THE 1060 00:27:05,133 --> 00:27:05,866 PRESIDENT HAVE THE FDA 1061 00:27:05,866 --> 00:27:07,166 "REVERSE ITS APPROVAL OF 1062 00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:08,433 CHEMICAL ABORTION DRUGS," 1063 00:27:08,433 --> 00:27:09,533 SOMETHING THAT'S A PET PROJECT 1064 00:27:09,533 --> 00:27:12,966 FOR VOUGHT, WHO HAS SAID, AMONG 1065 00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:13,566 OTHER THINGS, "THE FAMILIES OF 1066 00:27:13,566 --> 00:27:14,933 THE WEST ARE NOT HAVING ENOUGH 1067 00:27:14,933 --> 00:27:16,400 BABIES FOR THEIR SOCIETIES TO 1068 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,600 ENDURE." 1069 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,966 IN FACT, FOR ALL TRUMP'S TALK OF 1070 00:27:18,966 --> 00:27:20,366 WANTING TO GET RID OF THE DEEP 1071 00:27:20,366 --> 00:27:21,533 STATE, SCHEDULE F ISN'T 1072 00:27:21,533 --> 00:27:23,100 ELIMINATING IT, IT'S CREATING A 1073 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,266 DEEP STATE THAT'S LOYAL TO HIM, 1074 00:27:25,266 --> 00:27:26,666 AND DRIVING GOOD PEOPLE OUT OF 1075 00:27:26,666 --> 00:27:28,266 GOVERNMENT. 1076 00:27:28,366 --> 00:27:30,566 AND PEOPLE ACROSS THE POLITICAL 1077 00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:31,100 SPECTRUM HAVE BEEN RAISING 1078 00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:32,866 ALARMS ABOUT THIS. 1079 00:27:32,866 --> 00:27:34,300 ROBERT SHEA, A SENIOR OFFICIAL 1080 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:35,633 UNDER GEORGE W. BUSH, AND A 1081 00:27:35,633 --> 00:27:36,900 SELF-DESCRIBED HUGELY 1082 00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:38,900 CONSERVATIVE, LOYAL REPUBLICAN, 1083 00:27:38,900 --> 00:27:40,200 HAS SAID HIRING PEOPLE BASED ON 1084 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,400 PERSONAL POLITICAL LOYALTIES 1085 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,533 WOULD PRODUCE "AN ARMY OF 1086 00:27:43,533 --> 00:27:44,166 SUCK-UPS," ADDING, I CAN'T 1087 00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,266 OVERSTATE MY LEVEL OF CONCERN 1088 00:27:46,266 --> 00:27:47,066 ABOUT THE DAMAGE THIS WOULD DO 1089 00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:48,800 TO THE INSTITUTION OF THE 1090 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,533 FEDERAL GOVERNMENT... 1091 00:27:49,533 --> 00:27:51,133 YOU WOULD HAVE THINGS FORMERLY 1092 00:27:51,133 --> 00:27:52,233 CONSIDERED ILLEGAL OR 1093 00:27:52,233 --> 00:27:53,800 UNCONSTITUTIONAL POPPING UP ALL 1094 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,733 ACROSS THE GOVERNMENT LIKE 1095 00:27:54,733 --> 00:27:55,633 WHACK-A-MOLE. 1096 00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,133 AND THE ABILITY TO FIGHT THEM 1097 00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:58,333 WOULD BE INHIBITED." 1098 00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:02,300 BUT THAT'S PROBABLY BE THE POINT 1099 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:02,533 HERE. 1100 00:28:02,533 --> 00:28:03,200 AND I GET THAT "TRUMP UNRAVELING 1101 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,966 CIVIL SERVICE PROTECTIONS" ISN'T 1102 00:28:05,966 --> 00:28:06,800 THE SEXIEST HEADLINE-- BUT IT'S 1103 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,966 ALSO THE ACTION THAT COULD 1104 00:28:08,966 --> 00:28:09,600 UNLOCK HIS ABILITY TO DO ALL THE 1105 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,666 INCREDIBLY DAMAGING THINGS THAT 1106 00:28:11,666 --> 00:28:13,933 HE AND THOSE INVOLVED IN PROJECT 1107 00:28:13,933 --> 00:28:14,933 2025 HAVE BEEN PLANNING. 1108 00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:19,000 SO, WHAT DO WE DO? 1109 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:19,633 WELL, THE SIMPLE THING IS, DON'T 1110 00:28:19,633 --> 00:28:20,866 VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP. 1111 00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,366 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WERE 1112 00:28:22,366 --> 00:28:24,000 PLANNING ON DOING THAT, BUT I 1113 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,800 THINK IT SHOULD BE CLEAR BY NOW 1114 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:26,400 THAT THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF 1115 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,266 THIS SHOW IS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT 1116 00:28:28,266 --> 00:28:29,466 VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP. 1117 00:28:29,466 --> 00:28:31,166 NOT FOR PRESIDENT, NOT FOR 1118 00:28:31,166 --> 00:28:32,900 WINNER OF "THE MASKED SINGER." 1119 00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:35,033 BASICALLY NOT FOR ANYTHING. 1120 00:28:35,133 --> 00:28:36,833 AND WHILE I HAVE A LOT OF 1121 00:28:36,833 --> 00:28:37,566 PROBLEMS WITH BIDEN, HE'S 1122 00:28:37,566 --> 00:28:39,266 CLEARLY THE BETTER OF THE TWO 1123 00:28:39,266 --> 00:28:40,233 OPTIONS. 1124 00:28:40,233 --> 00:28:42,566 WHICH I RECOGNIZE IS A LOW BAR. 1125 00:28:42,566 --> 00:28:47,933 BEING BETTER THAN DONALD TRUMP 1126 00:28:47,933 --> 00:28:48,566 CANNOT BE THE STANDARD, BECAUSE 1127 00:28:48,566 --> 00:28:49,933 TRUMP HIMSELF IS THE VERY 1128 00:28:49,933 --> 00:28:50,533 ABSENCE OF A STANDARD. 1129 00:28:50,533 --> 00:28:51,700 BUT THE TRUTH IS, EVEN IF TRUMP 1130 00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:52,566 LOSES, THAT WON'T BE THE END OF 1131 00:28:52,566 --> 00:28:54,100 THIS. 1132 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,666 THE PEOPLE WHO COOKED UP PROJECT 1133 00:28:55,666 --> 00:28:58,633 2025 WILL JUST MOVE ON TO 1134 00:28:58,633 --> 00:29:00,066 PROJECT 2029 INSTEAD, BECAUSE 1135 00:29:00,066 --> 00:29:02,066 FOR THEM, THIS IS ABOUT SO MUCH 1136 00:29:02,066 --> 00:29:03,433 MORE THAN JUST ONE ELECTION, OR 1137 00:29:03,433 --> 00:29:05,466 INDEED, ONE CANDIDATE. 1138 00:29:05,466 --> 00:29:07,166 PROJECT 2025 IS BORN FROM AN 1139 00:29:07,266 --> 00:29:09,133 IMPULSE AS OLD AS AMERICA. 1140 00:29:09,133 --> 00:29:10,966 IT'S AN IMPULSE THAT SAYS ONE 1141 00:29:10,966 --> 00:29:13,066 CLASS OF AMERICANS IS ENTITLED 1142 00:29:13,066 --> 00:29:15,000 TO LEAD, AND THE REST OF US ARE 1143 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,633 LUCKY TO BE ALLOWED TO SERVE. 1144 00:29:16,633 --> 00:29:17,966 THAT THINKS THERE SHOULD BE A 1145 00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:19,066 LIMITED GOVERNMENT WHEN IT COMES 1146 00:29:19,066 --> 00:29:20,366 TO RULES THEY HAVE TO LIVE BY, 1147 00:29:20,366 --> 00:29:21,933 BUT ALSO A UNITARY EXECUTIVE TO 1148 00:29:21,933 --> 00:29:23,966 KEEP THE REST OF US IN LINE. 1149 00:29:23,966 --> 00:29:25,533 THESE ARE OLD IDEAS THAT HAVE 1150 00:29:25,533 --> 00:29:28,033 BEEN SHOUTED FROM PODIUMS BY THE 1151 00:29:28,033 --> 00:29:29,466 LIKES OF GEORGE WALLACE AND PAT 1152 00:29:29,466 --> 00:29:30,566 BUCHANAN, BUT HAVE NOW BEEN 1153 00:29:30,566 --> 00:29:32,833 PLACED INTO A NEW PLAYBOOK FOR 1154 00:29:32,833 --> 00:29:34,533 AN ONLY-TOO-WILLING PRESIDENT TO 1155 00:29:34,533 --> 00:29:36,000 USE ON DAY ONE. 1156 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,833 AND IN A PERFECT WORLD, I'D LOVE 1157 00:29:37,833 --> 00:29:38,566 IF WE HAD AN OPPOSING PARTY 1158 00:29:38,566 --> 00:29:41,033 BETTER ABLE TO ARTICULATE A 1159 00:29:41,133 --> 00:29:41,666 STRONG DEFENSE OF OUR COUNTRY'S 1160 00:29:41,766 --> 00:29:45,166 IDEALS, AND THAT ALSO 1161 00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:45,766 CONSISTENTLY LIVED UP TO THEM. 1162 00:29:45,766 --> 00:29:48,266 PEOPLE ARE ENTITLED TO HOPE FOR 1163 00:29:48,266 --> 00:29:49,133 MORE FROM THE NEXT FOUR YEARS 1164 00:29:49,133 --> 00:29:50,866 THAN SOMEONE JUST "NOT BEING 1165 00:29:50,866 --> 00:29:51,433 TRUMP," AND FOR AT LEAST TWO 1166 00:29:51,433 --> 00:29:52,666 SUPREME COURT JUSTICES TO DIE... 1167 00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:54,033 I'M NOT SAYING WHICH ONES I'D 1168 00:29:54,033 --> 00:29:55,433 PREFER, BUT... 1169 00:29:55,433 --> 00:29:58,533 I THINK WE ALL HAVE OUR TOP TWO. 1170 00:29:58,533 --> 00:30:01,133 AND FOR ANYONE TEMPTED TO THINK, 1171 00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:03,300 "WELL, WE SURVIVED TRUMP'S FIRST 1172 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:07,900 TERM," NOT EVERYONE DID. 1173 00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:11,433 AND AS SHOULD HOPEFULLY BE CLEAR 1174 00:30:11,433 --> 00:30:13,900 BY NOW, A SECOND TRUMP TERM 1175 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:14,600 REALLY PROMISES TO BE FAR, FAR 1176 00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:14,833 WORSE. 1177 00:30:14,833 --> 00:30:16,700 BECAUSE IF HIS FIRST TERM WAS 1178 00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:17,266 DEFINED BY CHAOS, HIS SECOND 1179 00:30:17,266 --> 00:30:17,866 COULD BE DEFINED BY RUTHLESS 1180 00:30:17,866 --> 00:30:18,766 EFFICIENCY. 1181 00:30:18,766 --> 00:30:19,400 AND THAT SHOULD BE TROUBLING TO 1182 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,066 EVERYONE. 1183 00:30:21,066 --> 00:30:23,666 BECAUSE PROJECT 2025 IS A 1184 00:30:23,666 --> 00:30:25,966 MOVEMENT WHOSE MEMBERS JOKE 1185 00:30:25,966 --> 00:30:26,900 ABOUT WANTING A WHITE HOMELAND, 1186 00:30:26,900 --> 00:30:27,966 AND INSIST WOMEN HAVE TO HAVE 1187 00:30:27,966 --> 00:30:29,733 MORE BABIES TO UPHOLD WESTERN 1188 00:30:29,733 --> 00:30:32,800 SOCIETY, AND ITS WORK MAY BE 1189 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:33,400 ABOUT TO BE FUNNELED THROUGH A 1190 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:34,400 MAN WHO HAPPILY CALLS HIS FELLOW 1191 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,233 AMERICANS "VERMIN." 1192 00:30:36,233 --> 00:30:37,166 IT'S NOT SUBTLE, IT'S HARD TO 1193 00:30:37,166 --> 00:30:38,033 MISS, AND ONCE YOU SEE IT, YOU 1194 00:30:38,033 --> 00:30:40,900 CAN'T UNSEE IT. 1195 00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:41,533 AND I KNOW THAT'S BLEAK, SO LET 1196 00:30:41,533 --> 00:30:42,600 ME LEAVE YOU WITH SOMETHING TO 1197 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:43,933 WHICH THAT EXACT SAME 1198 00:30:43,933 --> 00:30:45,333 DESCRIPTION CAN ACTUALLY APPLY, 1199 00:30:45,333 --> 00:30:47,466 YOUR THIRD AND FINAL CLIP FROM 1200 00:30:47,566 --> 00:30:54,000 "MILF MANOR." 1201 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,166 OH, MY GOD, THE DADS ARE 1202 00:30:55,166 --> 00:30:55,633 HOTTER THAN THE SONS. 1203 00:30:55,633 --> 00:30:56,266 EVEN THE ONE ON THE CRUTCH. 1204 00:30:56,266 --> 00:30:57,000 I WANT THE ONE ON THE 1205 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,800 CRUTCHES! 1206 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:00,433 YEAH, DEFINITELY THE DADS ARE 1207 00:31:00,433 --> 00:31:00,966 GIVING ME COOCHIE TINGLES. 1208 00:31:00,966 --> 00:31:01,600 I WOULD'VE NEVER THOUGHT I'D 1209 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:02,766 SEE MY SON IN THIS SITUATION 1210 00:31:02,766 --> 00:31:05,366 WITH ALL THESE OLDER WOMEN. 1211 00:31:05,366 --> 00:31:06,066 I JUST NEVER THOUGHT YOU LIKE 1212 00:31:06,066 --> 00:31:06,700 OLDER WOMEN. 1213 00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:08,300 YEAH, NO, I DO. 1214 00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:12,066 I WANNA CALL THEM MOMMY. 1215 00:31:12,066 --> 00:31:12,666 John: WE NEED TO BE BETTER 1216 00:31:12,666 --> 00:31:14,066 THAN THIS. 1217 00:31:14,066 --> 00:31:15,566 WE NEED TO BE BETTER THAN ALL OF 1218 00:31:15,566 --> 00:31:17,200 THIS. 1219 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,166 AND NOW THIS. 1220 00:31:18,166 --> 00:31:23,933 Announcer: AND NOW, 1221 00:31:23,933 --> 00:31:26,000 THERE'S NOTHING CELEBRITIES LIKE 1222 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,800 MORE THAN TELLING ARCHITECTURAL 1223 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,166 DIGEST ABOUT THEIR FIREPLACES. 1224 00:31:30,166 --> 00:31:33,333 I LOVE FIREPLACES, EVEN IN 1225 00:31:33,333 --> 00:31:34,466 CALIFORNIA I HATE HEATERS. 1226 00:31:34,466 --> 00:31:36,400 I CAN'T HAVE HEATERS ON, SO WHEN 1227 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,666 IT GETS A LITTLE BIT CHILLY IN 1228 00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:39,900 THE WINTER I PREFER THE 1229 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:40,700 FIREPLACE APPEARED >> IVA 1230 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,700 FIREPLACE HERE WHICH I REDID 1231 00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:44,466 INTO GOLD. 1232 00:31:44,466 --> 00:31:47,166 AT THE FIREPLACE USED TO BE LIKE 1233 00:31:47,166 --> 00:31:48,700 MIRRORED AND FOGGY. 1234 00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:50,700 LIKE WE NEED TO FIX THE 1235 00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:50,966 FIREPLACE. 1236 00:31:50,966 --> 00:31:53,733 SO CHILL LUXURY TO HAVE A 1237 00:31:53,833 --> 00:31:54,900 WOOD GRAIN FIREPLACE. 1238 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,900 I HAD TWO WOOD GRAIN FIREPLACES 1239 00:31:56,900 --> 00:31:57,266 IN THE KITCHEN. 1240 00:31:57,266 --> 00:32:00,300 I HAVE A FIREPLACE HERE. 1241 00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:02,633 I WANTED THE FIREPLACE TO BE 1242 00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:02,933 A STATEMENT. 1243 00:32:02,933 --> 00:32:04,033 IT'S IMPORTANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE 1244 00:32:04,033 --> 00:32:04,366 THE FIREPLACE. 1245 00:32:04,366 --> 00:32:07,633 THIS IS MY DOUBLE-SIDED 1246 00:32:07,633 --> 00:32:07,900 FIREPLACE. 1247 00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:10,000 FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP AND 1248 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,566 TURN ON THE FIREPLACES, I LIKE 1249 00:32:11,566 --> 00:32:13,933 TO DO PHONE CALLS AND HEAR END. 1250 00:32:13,933 --> 00:32:15,733 I HAVE THE ABILITY TO TURN ON 1251 00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:16,066 MY FIREPLACE. 1252 00:32:16,066 --> 00:32:18,800 WHEN I'M HOME, THE FIREPLACE 1253 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,433 IS DEFINITELY ON. 1254 00:32:20,433 --> 00:32:23,100 I LOVE THIS ROOM, THIS IS THE 1255 00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:24,400 PLACE I LIKE TO GO IN AND LIGHT 1256 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:29,466 A FIRE. 1257 00:32:29,466 --> 00:32:31,200 THIS USED TO HAVE A PLASTIC 1258 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,166 REGULAR FIREPLACE MANTLE AND WE 1259 00:32:34,166 --> 00:32:36,100 PUT OUR OWN DISCO FIREPLACE. 1260 00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:36,900 THIS IS ANOTHER WORKING 1261 00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:38,000 FIREPLACE, IT'S REALLY NICE TO 1262 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,666 HAVE A FIREPLACE. 1263 00:32:40,666 --> 00:32:41,600 THIS IS ANOTHER FIREPLACE COME 1264 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,833 OUT TO BE ABLE TO CLOSE THE DOOR 1265 00:32:44,833 --> 00:32:46,900 TO THE FIREPLACE AND STILL SEE A 1266 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:47,266 BEAUTIFUL FIRE. 1267 00:32:47,266 --> 00:32:49,766 THIS USED TO BE A FULL WALL 1268 00:32:49,766 --> 00:32:52,666 WITH A FIREPLACE. 1269 00:32:52,666 --> 00:32:54,966 WE DIDN'T LIKE IT AND WE PUT 1270 00:32:54,966 --> 00:32:56,400 THIS BEAUTIFUL-- BASED ON 1271 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,100 KRISTY'S IDEA, WE PUT THIS 1272 00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:02,133 BEAUTIFUL ART INSTALLATION. 1273 00:33:02,233 --> 00:33:03,300 I KETAMINE. 1274 00:33:03,300 --> 00:33:03,933 John: MOVING ON. 1275 00:33:03,933 --> 00:33:04,533 BEFORE WE GO, A QUICK UPDATE. 1276 00:33:04,533 --> 00:33:05,133 YOU MIGHT REMEMBER, TWO WEEKS 1277 00:33:05,133 --> 00:33:05,733 AGO, WE BOUGHT THE CONTENTS OF 1278 00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:06,333 THIS SHUTTERED RED LOBSTER IN 1279 00:33:06,333 --> 00:33:06,966 UPSTATE NEW YORK, AND REBUILT IT 1280 00:33:06,966 --> 00:33:08,800 INSIDE THIS STUDIO. 1281 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,133 UNFORTUNATELY, IT TURNED OUT 1282 00:33:11,133 --> 00:33:11,833 THIS NEARBY BAKERY WAS 1283 00:33:11,833 --> 00:33:13,233 DISAPPOINTED, BECAUSE THEY'D PUT 1284 00:33:13,233 --> 00:33:14,600 A NOTE ON THE DOOR OF THAT RED 1285 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:15,200 LOBSTER, ASKING FOR TWO PIECES 1286 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:20,000 OF THEIR KITCHEN EQUIPMENT. 1287 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:20,600 WHICH I MAINTAIN IS STILL THE 1288 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:21,200 STRANGEST WAY TO COMMUNICATE A 1289 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,300 DESIRE TO PURCHASE SOMETHING. 1290 00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:24,866 IT'S LIKE ORDERING LUNCH BY 1291 00:33:24,866 --> 00:33:25,500 WRITING WHAT YOU WANT AND TYING 1292 00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:26,033 IT TO THE LEG OF A CARRIER 1293 00:33:26,033 --> 00:33:27,066 PIGEON. 1294 00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:27,800 YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR 1295 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:28,833 SWEETGREEN SALAD. 1296 00:33:28,833 --> 00:33:30,100 AT BEST, IT'S COMING BACK WITH A 1297 00:33:30,100 --> 00:33:31,133 RAT ON ITS BACK AND A SINGLE 1298 00:33:31,133 --> 00:33:33,200 AIRPOD IN ITS MOUTH. 1299 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,800 NEVERTHELESS, LAST WEEK, WE 1300 00:33:34,900 --> 00:33:35,933 OFFERED TO SEND THIS BRAND-NEW 1301 00:33:36,033 --> 00:33:37,733 EQUIPMENT TO THAT BAKERY, WITH 1302 00:33:37,733 --> 00:33:38,500 ONE CONDITION. 1303 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,266 BECAUSE WE'D NOTICED THEY MAKE 1304 00:33:40,266 --> 00:33:42,100 CAKE BEARS, AND I WANTED A CAKE 1305 00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:43,800 BEAR WITH MY FACE ON IT, AS 1306 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,266 WOULD ANYONE IN MY POSITION, 1307 00:33:45,266 --> 00:33:46,066 BECAUSE LIFE IS SHORT, TV IS FUN 1308 00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:50,566 AND CAKE IS BEAR. 1309 00:33:50,566 --> 00:33:51,500 I ESPECIALLY WANTED ONE BECAUSE, 1310 00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:53,933 AS YOU CAN SEE, EACH BEAR HAS AN 1311 00:33:53,933 --> 00:33:59,800 ABSOLUTE DUMPTRUCK ASS, AND 1312 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:00,600 SIMPLY PUT, ME GUSTA. 1313 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:01,233 SO LAST SUNDAY NIGHT, WE REACHED 1314 00:34:01,233 --> 00:34:01,833 OUT TO THEM IN THEIR FAVORITE 1315 00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:02,433 WAY, BY ATTACHING THIS NOTE TO 1316 00:34:02,433 --> 00:34:07,566 THEIR DOOR. 1317 00:34:07,666 --> 00:34:08,266 AND IT TURNS OUT, ONE OF THE 1318 00:34:08,366 --> 00:34:08,900 BAKERY'S OWNERS GOT THE MESSAGE. 1319 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:09,433 WE WERE SO PRESENTLY 1320 00:34:09,433 --> 00:34:09,966 SURPRISED TO COME IN THIS 1321 00:34:09,966 --> 00:34:10,600 MORNING WITH THIS LOVELY NOTE ON 1322 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,233 OUR DOOR AND THEN I WAS LIKE WOW 1323 00:34:11,233 --> 00:34:11,833 WHAT IS THAT AND I CHECKED UM 1324 00:34:11,833 --> 00:34:14,500 JOHN OLIVER SHOW AND I WATCHED 1325 00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:15,300 THE WHOLE SHOW WHILE I WAS 1326 00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:18,966 WORKING THIS MORNING AND YOU 1327 00:34:18,966 --> 00:34:19,800 KNOW WE'RE JUST SO GRATEFUL THAT 1328 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,733 WE GOT TO BE PART OF THE SHOW 1329 00:34:21,733 --> 00:34:25,366 AND THAT HE'S GOING TO DONATE 1330 00:34:25,366 --> 00:34:26,833 THIS KITCHEN EQUIPMENT TO US, 1331 00:34:26,833 --> 00:34:27,333 AND HERE'S HIS CUPCAKES. 1332 00:34:27,333 --> 00:34:30,166 John: YES! 1333 00:34:30,166 --> 00:34:30,866 I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT 1334 00:34:30,866 --> 00:34:32,866 CAKE BEAR. 1335 00:34:32,866 --> 00:34:34,100 ITS WIDE OPEN EYES, PLEADING, 1336 00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:37,600 "MUNCH ME. 1337 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,633 MUNCH A BITE OUT OF MY ASS RIGHT 1338 00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:39,500 NOW." 1339 00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:40,066 I LOVE THE LITTLE PAWS, THE 1340 00:34:40,066 --> 00:34:40,700 LITTLE NOSE, AND THAT EACH BEAR 1341 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:41,266 BASICALLY LOOKS LIKE IT'S 1342 00:34:41,266 --> 00:34:41,866 WEARING A JOHN OLIVER HALLOWEEN 1343 00:34:41,966 --> 00:34:45,166 MASK. 1344 00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:45,766 AND THEY MADE THOSE BEARS SO 1345 00:34:45,766 --> 00:34:47,000 FAST. 1346 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,400 THAT GUY APPARENTLY WOKE UP TO 1347 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,300 TEXTS ABOUT OUR SHOW AT 3 IN THE 1348 00:34:49,300 --> 00:34:50,500 MORNING-- A NIGHTMARE I 1349 00:34:50,500 --> 00:34:53,833 WOULDN'T WISH ON MY WORST ENEMY 1350 00:34:53,833 --> 00:34:54,400 AND BY 10 A.M., THE BEARS 1351 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:54,866 WERE ALREADY ON SALE. 1352 00:34:54,866 --> 00:34:55,800 AND THEY EVEN HONORED MY REQUEST 1353 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,033 THEY BE GIVEN AN ENORMOUS ASS, 1354 00:34:57,033 --> 00:34:59,733 AS THEIR FACEBOOK POST 1355 00:34:59,733 --> 00:35:00,800 ANNOUNCING THEM SAID, "THEY HAVE 1356 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,200 DONK," ALL CAPS. 1357 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,300 AND JUST LIKE THAT, FACEBOOK IS 1358 00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:05,533 GOOD AGAIN. 1359 00:35:05,533 --> 00:35:06,100 SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I SAID 1360 00:35:06,100 --> 00:35:07,433 ABOUT YOU, ZUCKERBERG, YOU 1361 00:35:07,433 --> 00:35:09,000 REALLY ARE A BOY GENIUS. 1362 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,033 AND THE GOOD NEWS IS, THE BEARS 1363 00:35:10,033 --> 00:35:12,066 HAVE BEEN SELLING SURPRISINGLY 1364 00:35:12,066 --> 00:35:13,566 WELL. 1365 00:35:13,666 --> 00:35:14,600 THE FIRST BATCH OF ABOUT 80 1366 00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:15,466 JOHN OLIVER CAKE BEARS SOLD OUT 1367 00:35:15,566 --> 00:35:15,900 IN UNDER AN HOUR. 1368 00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:20,300 IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. 1369 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:20,933 I WAS LIKE, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE 1370 00:35:20,933 --> 00:35:21,533 WENT VIRAL, AND THE AMOUNT OF 1371 00:35:21,533 --> 00:35:23,200 EMAILS AND MESSAGES ON SOCIAL 1372 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,533 MEDIA THAT WE'RE GETTING AND 1373 00:35:24,533 --> 00:35:25,100 PEOPLE WANT THEM SHIPPED TO, 1374 00:35:25,100 --> 00:35:27,600 LIKE, THE PHILIPPINES AND 1375 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:28,266 AUSTRALIA. 1376 00:35:28,266 --> 00:35:28,800 I WAS A LITTLE SHOCKED. 1377 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:29,433 I WAS LIKE, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS 1378 00:35:29,433 --> 00:35:31,966 IS REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW. 1379 00:35:31,966 --> 00:35:33,600 THIS LARGE CAKE BEAR IS GOING 1380 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,166 STRAIGHT TO OLIVER, DEISING 1381 00:35:34,166 --> 00:35:35,200 SELLING THE SMALLER ONES FOR 1382 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,933 EIGHT BUCKS EACH AND SENDING ALL 1383 00:35:36,933 --> 00:35:38,133 THE PROCEEDS TO PEOPLE'S PLACE 1384 00:35:38,133 --> 00:35:41,266 FOOD PANTRY IN KINGSTON. 1385 00:35:41,266 --> 00:35:42,633 John: AGAIN, EXCELLENT. 1386 00:35:42,633 --> 00:35:43,833 NOT ONLY ARE THEY DONATING ALL 1387 00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:46,800 THE PROCEEDS FOR THE FIRST WEEK 1388 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:47,566 TO THIS LOCAL FOOD BANK, HE'S 1389 00:35:47,666 --> 00:35:48,166 EATING THAT BEAR IN THE MANNER 1390 00:35:48,266 --> 00:35:48,766 I'D SUGGESTED THEY WERE BEST 1391 00:35:48,766 --> 00:35:55,833 ENJOYED, ASS FIRST. 1392 00:35:56,433 --> 00:35:56,833 AND CAN I JUST SAY-- 1393 00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:57,466 RESPECTFULLY, SIR, THAT'S A LOT 1394 00:35:57,466 --> 00:35:57,833 OF EYE CONTACT. 1395 00:35:57,833 --> 00:35:59,333 I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE THIS WEIRD, 1396 00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,000 BUT MY ONLY QUESTION IS... 1397 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,366 SO WHAT ARE WE? 1398 00:36:02,366 --> 00:36:03,266 AND THE DONATION TO THAT FOOD 1399 00:36:03,266 --> 00:36:04,400 BANK COULD END UP BEING 1400 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,300 CONSIDERABLE, GIVEN, AT TIMES, 1401 00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:07,300 THEY WERE APPARENTLY SELLING 1402 00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:09,833 AROUND 100 BEARS AN HOUR. 1403 00:36:09,833 --> 00:36:10,366 AND IT SEEMS THE CAKES DO 1404 00:36:10,366 --> 00:36:12,266 HAVE FANS. 1405 00:36:12,266 --> 00:36:12,833 ONE CUSTOMER TOOK THEIR CAKE 1406 00:36:12,833 --> 00:36:13,833 BEAR TO VISIT THE SHUTTERED RED 1407 00:36:13,833 --> 00:36:14,900 LOBSTER THAT STARTED ALL THIS, 1408 00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:16,400 WHILE ANOTHER MADE THIS 1409 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,166 SUPERLATIVE TIKTOK. 1410 00:36:18,166 --> 00:36:25,233 ♪ ♪ 1411 00:36:29,866 --> 00:36:30,800 John: LISTEN, AS A 1412 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:31,700 47-YEAR-OLD WHO LOOKS LIKE A 1413 00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:32,266 67-YEAR-OLD, I CLEARLY DON'T 1414 00:36:32,266 --> 00:36:34,400 UNDERSTAND TIKTOK. 1415 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,700 BUT I DO KNOW PERFECT FILMMAKING 1416 00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:43,333 WHEN I SEE IT, AND THAT IS 1417 00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:44,366 PERFECT FILMMAKING RIGHT THERE. 1418 00:36:44,366 --> 00:36:45,333 LOOK, THIS HAS ALL BEEN A LOT OF 1419 00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:45,733 FUN. 1420 00:36:45,733 --> 00:36:46,266 AND FAIR IS FAIR: WE SENT 1421 00:36:46,266 --> 00:36:46,900 DEISING'S NEW KITCHEN EQUIPMENT 1422 00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:47,400 UP TO THEM ON THURSDAY. 1423 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:48,000 ON TOP OF WHICH, I'M HAPPY TO 1424 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,566 SAY WE'LL BE MAKING OUR OWN 1425 00:36:48,566 --> 00:36:49,200 $10,000 DONATION TO THAT LOCAL 1426 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,200 FOOD BANK. 1427 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,300 AND NOW, THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE 1428 00:36:51,300 --> 00:36:54,133 THING LEFT TO REVEAL. 1429 00:36:54,233 --> 00:36:55,466 BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT, DEISING'S 1430 00:36:55,566 --> 00:36:56,700 DIDN'T JUST MAKE THAT LARGE CAKE 1431 00:36:56,700 --> 00:36:58,000 BEAR THAT YOU SAW EARLIER-- 1432 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:58,500 THEY ALSO MADE ANOTHER, 1433 00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:00,700 FEATURING MY ACTUAL LIKENESS, 1434 00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:03,466 AND IT IS THE SINGLE FUNNIEST 1435 00:37:03,466 --> 00:37:04,466 POSSIBLE RENDERING OF ME AS A 1436 00:37:04,466 --> 00:37:08,966 BEAR. 1437 00:37:08,966 --> 00:37:12,133 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IT? 1438 00:37:12,133 --> 00:37:14,566 PLEASE, COME WITH ME. 1439 00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:18,500 I LOOK AT THIS EYES, LOOK AT IT 1440 00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:22,566 SKIN, LOOK AT ITS MOUTH! 1441 00:37:22,566 --> 00:37:25,266 I'M HUMBLED, SHOCKED, AND THE 1442 00:37:25,266 --> 00:37:27,500 KICK BEAR SUGGESTS, SLIGHTLY 1443 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:28,700 TERRIFIED, BUT I'M ALSO 1444 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,500 IMPRESSED BECAUSE YOU CLEARLY 1445 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:31,700 HEARD MY CHALLENGE AND SOMETHING 1446 00:37:31,700 --> 00:37:35,766 THAT LOOKS BOTH LIKE ME AND 1447 00:37:35,766 --> 00:37:36,700 THOSE THAT HAVE WEATHERED THE 1448 00:37:36,700 --> 00:37:38,200 ART FOG THAT HAS BEEN THROUGH 14 1449 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,333 DIVORCES. 1450 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:40,300 IT INCLUDES AN EDIBLE NOTE 1451 00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:41,933 READING "DON'T BE A MONSTER, 1452 00:37:41,933 --> 00:37:44,900 HAVE SOME CLASS AND EAT IT ASS 1453 00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:47,833 FIRST." 1454 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,633 DEISING, JUST PERFECT, SO 1455 00:37:49,633 --> 00:37:50,033 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1456 00:37:50,033 --> 00:37:52,733 TO DEISING'S WE AGREED THAT 1457 00:37:52,733 --> 00:37:54,300 ROAST THE CHALLENGE OF PRODUCING 1458 00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:56,600 A PRODUCT ON ZERO NOTICE THAT 1459 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:57,533 DIDN'T EXIST AND SOMEHOW BEEN 1460 00:37:57,533 --> 00:37:58,900 ADVERTISED ON NATIONAL TV AND 1461 00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:00,466 THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO BOUGHT 1462 00:38:00,466 --> 00:38:00,733 THE BEARS. 1463 00:38:00,833 --> 00:38:02,333 I CAN ONLY THINK OF ONE WAY TO 1464 00:38:02,433 --> 00:38:03,866 END THIS AND THIS IS TO EAT THE 1465 00:38:03,866 --> 00:38:07,366 BEAR THAT I LOVE SO VERY MUCH 1466 00:38:07,366 --> 00:38:08,300 AND THE ONLY UNIVERSALLY 1467 00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,900 ACCEPTABLE MANNER, AND THAT IS 1468 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:11,966 BY TAKING A BITE OUT OF ITS 1469 00:38:11,966 --> 00:38:14,000 SUMPTUOUS ASS. 1470 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,733 HERE WE GO! 1471 00:38:17,733 --> 00:38:18,200 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1472 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:19,133 ♪ ♪ 1473 00:38:19,133 --> 00:38:22,133 WE DID IT! 1474 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:26,433 THAT IS OUR SHOW! 1475 00:38:26,433 --> 00:38:28,533 WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! 1476 00:38:28,533 --> 00:38:30,566 GOOD NIGHT! 1477 00:38:30,566 --> 00:38:31,733 THANK YOU! 1478 00:38:31,733 --> 00:38:32,200 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1479 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:39,266 ♪ ♪ 1480 00:38:49,133 --> 00:38:50,000 SURE.