♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
John: WELCOME TO
"LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANKS FOR JOINING US.
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK, FROM
MARK ROBINSON'S GUBERNATORIAL
CAMPAIGN BEING DERAILED BY
REPORTS OF HIS COMMENTING, AMONG
OTHER THINGS,
"I'M A BLACK NAZI" IN-- AND
THIS IS TRUE-- A PORN FORUM, TO
A MAYORAL DEBATE IN SAO PAULO
ENDING EARLY AFTER ONE OF THE
CANDIDATES HIT THE OTHER WITH A
METAL CHAIR.
BUT WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON THE
DEBATE WE MISSED WHILE WE WERE
OFF LAST WEEK.
SPECIFICALLY, THIS EXCEPTIONAL
MOMENT IN AMERICAN ORATORY:
IN SPRINGFIELD, THEY ARE
EATING THE DOGS.
THE PEOPLE THAT CAME IN, THEY
ARE EATING THE CATS.
THEY ARE EATING THE PATS OF THE
PEOPLE THAT LIVED THERE.
YEAH, THAT WAS DONALD TRUMP
ACCUSING HAITIAN IMMIGRANTS OF
KILLING AND EATING PEOPLE'S
PETS.
AND: CAN YOU EVEN REMEMBER A
TIME WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT
WOULD'VE BEEN DISQUALIFYING?
I CAN'T ANYMORE!
REPUBLICANS HAVE NOW NOMINATED
TRUMP THREE TIMES, DEMOCRATS
HAVE SO FAR LOST TO HIM HALF THE
TIME, AND THIS ELECTION IS STILL
INEXPLICABLY CLOSE, BECAUSE
UNFORTUNATELY, SOME AMERICANS
WATCHED THAT AND THOUGHT "I
DON'T LIKE HOW KAMALA LAUGHED
WHEN HE CALLED IMMIGRANTS
DOG-EATERS.
THAT WASN'T VERY PRESIDENTIAL."
I KNOW THAT HAPPENED OVER A WEEK
AGO, AND THERE'VE BEEN PLENTY OF
CAT-EATING JOKES SINCE, BUT I
STILL WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS,
BOTH BECAUSE THE CHAOS TRUMP
STIRRED UP IN SPRINGFIELD IS
ONGOING, AND BECAUSE IT FEELS
EMBLEMATIC OF HIS CAMPAIGN.
AND BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER: TO
BE CLEAR, CITY OFFICIALS HAVE
THERE'S ZERO EVIDENCE OF WHAT
TRUMP CONFIDENTLY SPEWED TO 69
MILLION PEOPLE.
AND IN DOING SO, HE WAS ACTUALLY
REPEATING SOMETHING THAT'D BEEN
POSTED BY HIS RUNNING MATE,
JD VANCE, A MAN WHO ALWAYS LOOKS
LIKE A YASSIFIED CHIPMUNK-- THE
DAY BEFORE THE DEBATE.
HE POSTED THAT
"HAITIAN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS"
WERE "CAUSING CHAOS ALL OVER
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO", AND
"REPORTS NOW SHOW THAT PEOPLE
HAVE HAD THEIR PETS ABDUCTED AND
EATEN BY PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN'T BE
IN THIS COUNTRY."
WHICH, AMONG OTHER THINGS, MAKES
IT SOUND LIKE EATING PETS IS A
RIGHT RESERVED FOR NATURAL-BORN
AMERICANS.
AND WHEN ASKED ABOUT IT SINCE,
VANCE HAS INSISTED HE WAS JUST
REFLECTING PEOPLE'S CONCERNS.
THE MEDIA HAS TRIED TO SAY
NOW FOUR DAYS THAT I'VE MADE UP
THIS STORY.
I HAVEN'T MADE UP ANYTHING.
I JUST LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO WERE
TELLING ME THESE THINGS.
John: WAIT: "IF ENOUGH PEOPLE
SAY IT, I REPEAT IT."
IT'S NOT IDEAL WHEN AN ASPIRING
VICE PRESIDENT'S GUIDING
PHILOSOPHY IS INDISTINGUISHABLE
FROM A FUCKING PARROT'S.
AND LOOK:
OBVIOUSLY, AN ATTACK LIKE THIS
ISN'T REMOTELY NEW.
WE'VE DEMONIZED IMMIGRANTS IN
ALL SORTS OF WAYS-- INCLUDING
BY ACCUSING THEM OF EATING PETS
FOR CENTURIES.
BUT IT'S WORTH LOOKING AT WHAT'S
ACTUALLY BEEN HAPPENING IN
SPRINGFIELD-- BECAUSE IT'S
INTERESTING, AND REVEALS HOW FAR
FROM JUST "REPEATING CLAIMS HE'S
HEARD" VANCE HAS ACTUALLY HELPED
CREATE MUCH OF THE CHAOS HE'S
NOW TRYING TO EXPLOIT.
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE THAT
SPRINGFIELD HAD A SIGNIFICANT
INFLUX OF HAITIAN IMMIGRANTS IN
THE LAST FEW YEARS.
AMID TUMULT IN HAITI, THE US
GRANTED A CERTAIN NUMBER OF
HAITIAN IMMIGRANTS TEMPORARY
PROTECTED STATUS, MAKING THEM
ELIGIBLE FOR SOCIAL SECURITY
NUMBERS AND WORK PERMITS.
AT THE SAME TIME, COMPANIES IN
SPRINGFIELD FACED A WORKER
SHORTAGE, AND MANY HAITIAN
IMMIGRANTS MOVED THERE AFTER
BEING RECRUITED BY LOCAL
COMPANIES FOR JOBS THAT LOCALS
WERE NOT FILLING.
OR, AS JD VANCE PUTS ALL THAT:
20,000 MIGRANTS, PRIMARILY
FROM HATIA HAVE BEEN DROPPED
INTO SPRINGFIELD, OHIO,.
John: OKAY, FIRST, THERE'S
RECOGNIZE IN THIS HOUSE AND
IT'S ALICIA SILVERSTONE IN
CLUELESS, DELIVERING THE ICONIC
LINE, "AND SO, IF THE GOVERNMENT
COULD JUST GET TO THE KITCHEN,
REARRANGE SOME THINGS, WE COULD
CERTAINLY PARTY WITH THE
HAITIANS."
BUT SECOND: THOSE PEOPLE WEREN'T
"DROPPED" INTO SPRINGFIELD, THEY
CHOSE TO GO SOMEWHERE COMPANIES
WERE ACTIVELY RECRUITING THEM.
AND FOR THE RECORD, AFTER THE
HAITIANS CAME, THE LOCAL ECONOMY
BOOMED.
SPRINGFIELD EVEN FLEW THE FLAG
OF HAITI AT CITY HALL LAST YEAR
FOR HAITIAN FLAG DAY.
WHICH IS NOT TO SAY THERE
HAVEN'T BEEN ISSUES
INCORPORATING THE NEW
POPULATION.
CITY SERVICES HAVE BEEN
STRAINED.
HOUSING HAS BEEN TIGHT, AND
THE NUMBER OF NON-NATIVE ENGLISH
SPEAKERS IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS
QUADRUPLED, TO MORE THAN 1,000
CHILDREN.
THOSE ARE SIGNIFICANT
CHALLENGES.
BUT THEY'RE ALSO ISSUES THAT CAN
BE ADDRESSED WITH ADDITIONAL
GOVERNMENT FUNDING.
AND IT'S THE TOWN'S EFFORTS TO
PROCURE THAT, THAT ACTUALLY
STARTED US ON THE PATH TO WHERE
WE ARE RIGHT NOW.
BECAUSE BACK IN JULY, THE
SPRINGFIELD CITY MANAGER SENT
THIS LETTER TO THE SENATE
BANKING AND HOUSING COMMITTEE TO
SAY THE CITY OF SPRINGFIELD IS
FACING A SIGNIFICANT HOUSING
CRISIS, THAT THERE WERE
KEY INITIATIVES, POLICIES AND
PROGRAMS THAT THE COMMUNITY
COULD IMPLEMENT TO SOLVE THEM,
AND ASKING FOR FURTHER SUPPORT
AT THE FEDERAL LEVEL TO RAMP UP
THAT WORK.
JD VANCE WAS CC'ED ON THAT
LETTER, AND THE VERY NEXT DAY HE
CHOSE TO READ A
CAREFULLY-SELECTED PART OF IT AT
A HEARING:
SPRINGFIELD'S HAITIAN
POPULATION HAS INCREASED TO
15-20000 OVER THE LAST FOUR
YEARS IN A COMMUNITY OF UNDER
62,00062,000 RESIDENTS, PUTTING A
STRAIN TO PROVIDE AMPLE HOUSING
FOR ALL OUR RESIDENTS.
END QUOTE THERE.
John: OH, "END QUOTE THERE"?
WELL, THAT'S A CHOICE.
BECAUSE YOU KEPT THE PART OF THE
LETTER CITING A PROBLEM, LEFT
OUT THE PART POINTING AT A
SOLUTION, AND DIDN'T EVEN
MENTION THE FUNDING REQUEST.
WHAT VANCE DID DO, WAS PUT OUT A
PRESS RELEASE HIGHLIGHTING THAT
MOMENT, WITH A HEADLINE
FEATURING THE PHRASE
"HAITIAN MIGRANT CRISIS IN
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO."
DESPITE THE LETTER SAYING,
"SIGNIFICANT HOUSING CRISIS",
NOT "HAITIAN MIGRANT CRISIS."
BUT I GUESS, WE NOW KNOW, IT'S A
MISTAKE TO EXPECT PRECISE
WORDING FROM VANCE WHEN IT COMES
TO ANYTHING HAITIA-RELATED.
AND IN DOING THAT, VANCE PUT
SPRINGFIELD DIRECTLY IN THE
CONSERVATIVE MEDIA SPOTLIGHT.
FOX HIGHLIGHTED THE STORY A FEW
DAYS LATER, CITING THE VANCE
HEARING, AND THERE WAS A SPATE
OF ARTICLES IN RIGHT-WING
OUTLETS AND TWEETS FROM
CONSERVATIVE ACCOUNTS, WITH EVEN
ELON HIMSELF WEIGHING IN.
JUST A MONTH LATER, A NEO-NAZI
GROUP CALLED BLOOD TRIBE SHOWED
UP IN SPRINGFIELD, AND
"ABOUT A DOZEN MASKED MEMBERS
CARRYING BANNERS ADORNED WITH
SWASTIKAS MARCHED THERE, IN WHAT
THEY CALLED AN "ANTI-HAITIAN
IMMIGRATION MARCH.""
ONE OF THEIR LEADERS EVEN TRIED
TO ADDRESS THE CITY COUNCIL:
I'VE COME TO BRING A WORD OF
WARNING.
STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING BEFORE
IT'S TOO LATE.
CRIME AND SAVAGERY WILL ONLY
INCREASE WITH EVERY HAITIAN YOU
BRING IN.
AND WITH IT PUBLIC FRUSTRATION
AND ANGER.
YOU SOUND THREATENING TO
MAYBE I CAN ASK THE POLICE TO GO
AHEAD--
I'M SURE YOU DON'T MEAN TO
TELL YOU THIS.
GO AHEAD AND BE PEACEFULLY
REMOVED.
THE PEOPLE DIDN'T ASK FOR
THIS AND THEY DESERVE BETTER
THEN TO PUT UP WITH VIOLENT AND
UNRULY--
THANK YOU.
THAT'S ALL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
NOT REALLY THANK YOU, BUT...
[LAUGHTER]
John: OKAY, I KNOW, "THANK
YOU SO MUCH, YOU'RE DONE-- NOT
REALLY THANK YOU" MIGHT NOT
SOUND HARSH, BUT REMEMBER:
OHIO'S THE MIDWEST.
THAT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF SAYING,
"GET FUCKED YOU DIME STORE NAZI,
ENJOY SHOVELING SHIT IN HELL,
YOU ALREADY DRESS LIKE YOU SHOP
THERE."
AND IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME THAT
RUMORS STARTED RAMPING UP ONLINE
ABOUT HAITIANS EATING LOCAL
ANIMALS.
THIS PHOTO MADE THE ROUNDS,
SUPPOSEDLY OF A HAITIAN MAN
CARRYING A GOOSE IN SPRINGFIELD,
THOUGH-- AS TMZ, OF ALL
OUTLETS, LATER REPORTED-- IT
TURNED OUT TO BE SOMEONE IN
COLUMBUS OHIO,
PICKING UP TWO GEESE THAT WERE
HIT IN A CAR ACCIDENT.
THAT PHOTO WENT FROM FACEBOOK,
TO TWITTER, TO
TO TWITTER, TO GAB, THE SOCIAL
MEDIA PLATFORM FOR WHITE
SUPREMACISTS, WHERE IT WAS
SHARED BY BLOOD TRIBE, WHICH
THEN SPREAD MORE RUMORS ABOUT
HAITIANS EATING LOCAL ANIMALS.
THEN THERE WAS THIS FACEBOOK
POST, FROM A SPRINGFIELD WOMAN
SAYING HER NEIGHBOR'S DAUGHTER'S
FRIEND HAD SEEN "A CAT HANGING
FROM A BRANCH, LIKE YOU'D DO A
DEER FOR BUTCHERING."
IT GOT SCREENGRABBED ON TWITTER,
AND WAS THEN PICKED UP AND
POSTED ALONGSIDE THE PHOTO OF
THE MAN IN COLUMBUS, BY A BIG
MAGA ACCOUNT, AND WENT VIRAL.
NOW: FOR THE RECORD, THE WOMAN
WHO WROTE THAT ORIGINAL POST HAS
SINCE ADMITTED "SHE HAD NO
FIRSTHAND KNOWLEDGE OF ANY SUCH
INCIDENT," AND HAS SINCE
DELETED THE POST-- THANKFULLY,
FIXING EVERYTHING.
BUT THE POINT IS, THIS
PET-EATING PANIC WAS BUILT ON
NOTHING.
AND WHEN REPORTERS ASKED
SPRINGFIELD RESIDENTS WHERE
THEY'D HEARD THESE RUMORS, IT
WAS CLEAR WHERE THEY WERE ALL
COMING FROM:
YOU HAVE THEM GOING TO SNYDER
PARK AND CHOPPING UP DUCKS'
HEADS IN FRONT OF LITTLE KIDS
AND STUFF.
YOU REALLY THINK THAT
HAPPENED?
THE CITY SAYS THEY DON'T HAVE
EVIDENCE THAT IT HAPPENED.
I'VE SEEN PICTURES ESPECIALLY
SOCIAL MEDIA AND MY WORK
SUPERVISOR WAS LIKE, LOOK AT
THIS.
YOU THINK THAT STOP USING ON
SOCIAL MEDIA IS ACTUALLY
HAPPENING?
THERE'S BEEN PICTURES OF
PEOPLE WALKING OFF WITH DOCS SO
I KIND OF BELIEVE IT BUT I
HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING MYSELF
REALLY.
I SEE A LOT OF PETS THAT HAVE
DISAPPEARED.
MANY?
ON FACEBOOK ON FACEBOOK.
WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN?
John: OKAY, FIRST: IT'S WILD
TO SEE THAT "ALL OUR DUCKS ARE
GONE" AND JUMP TO IT BEING
EVIDENCE OF A DUCK-EATING FRENZY
AND NOT, I DUNNO,
"DUCKS HAVING THE CAPACITY FOR
FLIGHT."
BUT ALSO, SOCIAL MEDIA CLEARLY
ISN'T A PLACE FOR RELIABLE
INFORMATION.
AS WE ALL KNOW, IT'S FOR
REALIZING ON FATHER'S DAY, THAT
ALL YOUR FRIENDS ONCE HAD
WEIRDLY HOT DADS.
EVERY OTHER USE OF IT IS WRONG.
BUT IT'S ONE THING FOR THOSE
PEOPLE NOT TO FACT-CHECK THIS--
TO BE FAIR, SOME CLEARLY HAD
SICK "DRAGON BALL Z" HATS TO BE
SHOPPING FOR.
BUT FOR JD VANCE TO HAPPILY
REPEAT IT WITHOUT CHECKING IS
DEEPLY IRRESPONSIBLE.
EXCEPT HERE'S THE THING: HE DID
CHECK.
IT TURNS OUT, NOT LONG AFTER HIS
FIRST POST ABOUT HAITIANS EATING
PETS, HIS CAMPAIGN ACTUALLY
CALLED THE SPRINGFIELD CITY
MANAGER, WHO REMEMBERS,
VANCE'S STAFFER ASKED
POINT-BLANK, 'ARE THE RUMORS
TRUE OF PETS BEING TAKEN AND
EATEN?'" AND HE SAID,
"I TOLD HIM NO."
SO VANCE KNEW IT WAS A LIE THIS
WHOLE TIME.
BUT INSTEAD OF ADMITTING THAT,
HE AND HIS CAMPAIGN HAVE BEEN
SCRAMBLING TO DIG UP NEW
BULLSHIT "EVIDENCE"-- ALL OF
WHICH EITHER BEARS NO
RESEMBLANCE TO THE CLAIMS HE'S
MADE, OR FALLS APART AT THE
SLIGHTEST SCRUTINY.
AT ONE POINT, HIS CAMPAIGN SENT
THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL"
THIS POLICE REPORT FROM A
SPRINGFIELD RESIDENT, CLAIMING
HER MISSING CAT HAD BEEN STOLEN
AND POSSIBLY EATEN BY HAITIANS,
SOMETHING EVEN THE COP SEEMED
DUBIOUS OF, POINTING OUT
"SHE FOUND 'MEAT' IN THE BACK
YARD.
THINKS IT WAS FROM HER CAT."
"NO BONES OR FUR AROUND THE
MEAT.
SHE SUSPECT THE HATIAN
NEIGHBORS."
"NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS
CLAIM."
AND WHEN A JOURNAL REPORTER
VISITED THAT WOMAN, SHE ADMITTED
SHE'D FOUND HER CAT-- NAMED
MISS SASSY-- IN HER BASEMENT A
FEW DAYS LATER.
SO SHE COULDN'T FIND HER CAT,
SEEMINGLY DIDN'T EVEN FINISH
CHECKING HER OWN HOUSE, AND HER
FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS "MY
NEIGHBORS ATE IT AND LEFT THE
REMAINS IN THE YARD, I'D BETTER
CALL THE POLICE"?
WHAT IS SHE LIKE WHEN SHE CAN'T
FIND THE REMOTE?
"911, THE VENEZUELANS ARE AT IT
AGAIN!"
AND WHILE VANCE PASSING THAT ON
AS EVIDENCE IS AN ALMOST
COMICALLY STUPID THING TO DO,
IT'S ALSO DEEPLY RECKLESS.
SCHOOLS AND HOSPITALS IN
SPRINGFIELD HAVE BEEN CLOSED
BECAUSE OF BOMB THREATS.
AND AS THIS LOCAL COMMUNITY
LEADER POINTS OUT, HAITIANS IN
SPRINGFIELD ARE NOW LIVING IN
FEAR.
EVEN YESTERDAY I GOT A FRIEND
CALLING ME ASKING ME IF HE HAS
TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE'S SCARED FOR
HIS LIFE.
IT'S VERY SHOCKING AND SAD AT
THE SAME TIME ESPECIALLY COMING
FROM PEOPLE SEEKING THE HIGH
OFFICE OF OUR LAND.
HIGH-RANKING PEOPLE.
I THINK THEY SHOULD DO BETTER.
THEY HAVE EVERYTHING AT THEIR
DISPOSAL TO CHECK THE VERACITY
OF ANYTHING THAT THEY HEAR.
John: YEAH, THEY DO.
THEY JUST DON'T CARE.
AND TO BE CLEAR:
THESE AREN'T FUN LIES YOU CAN
SPREAD WITHOUT CHECKING, LIKE,
"GUM BALLS ARE FOSSILIZED CLOWN
TESTICLES" OR
"THE GREEN TELETUBBY WAS PLAYED
BY A YOUNG JOAQUIN PHOENIX."
THESE ARE LIES THAT COULD GET
PEOPLE HURT.
AND WHEN VANCE ISN'T CIRCULATING
FLIMSY "EVIDENCE," HE'S BEEN
MAKING WILD, TOXIC CLAIMS-- FROM
IMPLYING HAITIANS ARE SPREADING
TUBERCULOSIS AND HIV, WHICH IS
UNTRUE, TO SAYING "A CHILD WAS
MURDERED BY A HAITIAN MIGRANT
WHO HAD NO RIGHT TO BE HERE."
WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS SEIZING ON
THE STORY OF AN 11-YEAR-OLD WHO
WAS KILLED IN A COLLISION
BETWEEN A SCHOOL BUS, AND A
MINIVAN DRIVEN BY A HAITIAN
IMMIGRANT.
AND THE FATHER OF THAT BOY HAS
CLEARLY SAID HE DOESN'T WANT HIS
CHILD'S DEATH TO BE EXPLOITED IN
THIS WAY.
HE EVEN SHOWED UP TO A TOWN
MEETING, THE NIGHT OF THE
PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, TO MAKE
THAT POINT.
THE LAST THING THAT WE NEED
IS TO HAVE THE WORST DAY OF OUR
LIVES VIOLENTLY AND CONSTANTLY
SHOVED IN OUR FACES.
BUT EVEN THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH
FOR THEM.
THEY TAKE IT ONE STEP FURTHER.
THEY MAKE IT SEEM AS THOUGH OUR
WONDERFUL AIDEN APPRECIATES YOUR
HATE, THAT THEY SHOULD FOLLOW
THAT HATE.
TO BE FAIR, MY SON WAS NOT
MURDERED.
HE WAS ACCIDENTALLY KILLED BY AN
IMMIGRANT FROM HAITI.
DID YOU KNOW THAT HE RESEARCHED
DIFFERENT CULTURES TO BETTER
APPRECIATE AND UNDERSTAND PEOPLE
THAT HE INTERACTED WITH?
DID YOU KNOW THAT ONE OF THE
WORST FEELINGS IN THE WORLD IS
TO NOT BE ABLE TO PROTECT THEIR
CHILD?
EVEN WORSE, WE CAN'T EVEN
PROTECT HIS MEMORY WHEN HE IS
GONE.
PLEASE STOP THE HATE.
I SAID TO AIDEN I WOULD TRY TO
MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN HIS HONOR,
THIS IS IT.
LIVE LIKE AIDEN.
THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]
John: THAT MAN DIDN'T NEED
ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT.
AND NEITHER DID SPRINGFIELD.
AND IT'S NOT OVER YET.
JUST THIS WEEK, TRUMP SAID
HE PLANS TO VISIT SPRINGFIELD,
DESPITE THE LOCAL MAYOR-- A
REPUBLICAN-- CLEARLY ASKING HIM
NOT TO.
AS FOR VANCE, HE KEEPS BRAGGING
THAT HE GOT THE NATIONAL MEDIA
TO PAY ATTENTION TO SPRINGFIELD,
EVEN SAYING,
"IF I HAVE TO CREATE STORIES SO
THAT THE AMERICAN MEDIA ACTUALLY
PAYS ATTENTION TO THE SUFFERING,
THEN THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO
DO."
BUT HERE'S THE THING: THEY
DIDN'T ASK FOR ATTENTION.
THEY ASKED FOR HELP.
VANCE IS THE ONE WHO WANTED
ATTENTION AND THAT CLEARLY TOOK
PRIORITY HERE.
BECAUSE WHILE HE'S REMARKABLY
BAD AT A LOT OF THINGS--
WRITING BOOKS, DELIVERING
SPEECHES, ORDERING DONUTS LIKE A
HUMAN FROM EARTH-- IT TURNS
OUT, HE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD
AT PARROTING RACIST LIES LIKE
THE SPINELESS DIPSHIT HE IS.
AND FRANKLY, THE ONLY
APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO ALL THIS
IS STRONG OUTRAGE, SWIFT
CONDEMNATION, AND-- COME
NOVEMBER-- A VOTER TURNOUT THAT
COLLECTIVELY SAYS TO THE TRUMP
CAMPAIGN, IN THE WORDS OF AN
UNDERSTANDABLY FRUSTRATED
SPRINGFIELD OFFICIAL:
"THANK YOU.
YOU'RE DONE.
NOT REALLY THANK YOU."
AND NOW, THIS.
Announcer: AND NOW LOCAL
NEWS HAS A LOT OF OPINIONS ABOUT
MOE DENG.
THE FAMOUS HIPPO CALLED MOO
DENG IS AN OVERNIGHT STORM.
A VIDEO OF HER TOOTHLESS
CHEWING WAS...
IS THAT IT?
IS THAT HER YELLING?
THERE-- I DO NOT REMEMBER.
SLAMMING LITTLE-LOOKING
THING.
IT IS CUTE.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S BAD TOO.
I LIKE A BAD HIPPO.
ARE YOU ALLOWED TO GET THAT
CLOSE TO HIPPOS?
ARE HIPPOS ARE NICE OR THEY
ARE MEAN?
NOT AT ALL...
MOST HIPPOS WILL MESS YOU UP.
ONE OF THE DEADLIEST ANIMALS
ON THE PLANET AND THEY START OUT
LOOKING LIKE THAT?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HIPPOS KILL A LOT OF PEOPLE.
HAVE YOU GOT THE TILE AND,
HAVE Y'ALL?
I WANT TO VISIT JAPAN.
I WOULD DO JAPAN AND I'M VERY
INTERESTED IN JAPAN AND KOREA.
THAILAND ALSO IS
UNBELIEVABLE.
SOUTH KOREA.
THAT'S THE ONE YOU WANT TO DO?
SOMETIMES I FORGET.
THE GOOD ONE
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
BODIES.
FLOPPY BONE BAGS THAT PRODUCE
SWEAT, JIZZ, AND PUKE IN EQUAL
AMOUNTS.
AT LEAST THAT'S THE WAY I DO IT.
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT PEOPLE WITH
DISABILITIES.
WHICH MIGHT MAKE SOME
APPREHENSIVE.
BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, THE
NEEDS OF DISABLED PEOPLE HAVEN'T
ALWAYS BEEN MET DURING TV
BROADCASTS, LIKE IN THIS POLICE
PRESS CONFERENCE:
WE WILL BE CHARGING FOUR
COUNTS OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER.
STANDING OFF TO THE SIDE
APPARENTLY TRANSLATING EVERY
WORD, THIS WOMAN.
BUT IT TURNS OUT MUCH OF WHAT
SHE WAS SIGNING WAS NONSENSE.
SHE WAVED HER ARMS AROUND LIKE
SHE WAS SINGING "JINGLE BELLS,"
SAYS ONE SIGN LIQUID EXPERT.
TEMPLE POLICE PUBLIC INFORMATION
OFFICER STEVE HEGARTY TOLD ME
THE WOMAN SIMPLY SHOWED UP OUT
OF THE BLUE AND OFFERED HER
SERVICES.
MY IMMEDIATE REACTION WAS I
DIDN'T CALL FOR A SIGN LANGUAGE
INTERPRETER BUT IT'S GREAT THAT
WE HAVE ONE HERE.
DID THIS WOMAN APPEARED TO
KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
TO THE UNTRAINED EYE, THAT
WOULD INCLUDE MINE, I DIDN'T SEE
ANY PROBLEMS.
John: OKAY, I GET YOU MAY BE
UNTRAINED IN SIGN LANGUAGE.
BUT YOU SHOULD BE TRAINED IN
IDENTITY VERIFICATION BECAUSE
YOU ARE-- AND THIS IS TRUE--
THE FUCKING POLICE DEPARTMENT.
AND YOU DIDN'T FIND IT WEIRD SHE
JUST SHOWED UP?
THOSE ARE THE GESTURES OF A
DRUNK AUNT TRYING TO GET YOUR
ATTENTION ACROSS THE
THANKSGIVING DINNER TABLE.
BE BETTER!
SPECIFICALLY, OUR STORY CONCERNS
DISABILITY BENEFITS-- FINANCIAL
SUPPORT PROGRAMS MANAGED BY THE
SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION.
IT'S ONE OF THE CORE FUNCTIONS
OF THAT AGENCY, AS IT ONCE TRIED
TO GET ACROSS IN THE WEIRDEST
POSSIBLE WAY:
THERE ARE FOUR TIMES WHEN
IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE THIS
SMALL CAR.
IF YOU ARE SEVERELY DISABLED,
SOCIAL SECURITY IS THERE TO
HELP.
WHEN SOMEONE YOU DEPEND ON DIES,
SOCIAL SECURITY HELPS KEEP
THINGS GOING.
WHEN YOU RETIRE, SOCIAL SECURITY
HELPS YOU ENJOY THE THINGS YOU
WORK FOR AND THERE IS MEDICARE
FOR HOSPITAL AND MEDICAL BILLS.
FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR LIFETIME
PROTECTION.
CALL US.
John: HEY: WHAT THE FUCK?
OF ALL THE WAYS THEY COULD HAVE
COMMUNICATED "YOU'RE DISABLED,"
AND "YOUR LOVED ONE IS DEAD,"
MIME IS HANDS DOWN THE WORST.
I HAVEN'T SEEN SUCH
INAPPROPRIATE GESTURES SINCE
EXACTLY SEVENTY SECONDS AGO.
ALSO, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH: I
FUCKING HATE MIMES.
I DON'T RESPECT THEIR "ART".
THEY ARE FAILED ACTORS, DANCERS,
AND CLOWNS ALL ROLLED INTO ONE.
A HAT TRICK OF PARENTAL
DISAPPOINTMENT.
THERE IS SIMPLY NO PLACE FOR
THEM IN POLITE SOCIETY.
THE POINT IS, OVER 15 MILLION
PEOPLE CURRENTLY RELY ON
DISABILITY BENEFITS TO PROVIDE
FOR BASIC NEEDS LIKE FOOD,
SHELTER, AND MEDICAL CARE,
THROUGH A PAIR OF PROGRAMS
CALLED SSI AND SSDI.
VERY BASICALLY, SSI STANDS
FORCIBLE MENTAL SECURITY INCOME.
IT'S A NEAT BASE PROGRAM
INTENDED FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE
ELDERLY OR DISABLED WITH LITTLE
TO NO INCOME OR ASSETS WHILE S
SDI STANDS FOR SOCIAL SECURITY
DISABILITY INSURANCE.
IT'S WHERE PEOPLE WHO
CONTRIBUTED TO SOCIAL SECURITY
AND IF YOU QUALIFY FOR EITHER
YOU MOLLIFIED FOR MEDICARE OR
MEDICAID.
SO THESE PROGRAMS ARE THE KEY
SAFETY NET FOR MANY OF THOSE
WITH THIS ABILITY IN THIS
COUNTRY.
UNFORTUNATELY, AS ANYONE WHO'S
TRIED TO APPLY FOR THEM WILL
TELL YOU, THE APPLICATION
PROCESS IS AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE
FAR TOO OFTEN, RESULTING IN
SITUATIONS LIKE THIS:
AND I HAVE DRAGGED MY BUTT IN
AND OUT OF SOCIAL SECURITY
OFFICES BUT I HAVE BAGGED, I
HAVE CRIED, I HAVE PLEADED.
I AM DISABLED, I AM DISABLED, I
AM DISABLED.
MY DOCTOR HAS SENT LETTERS.
"YOU DON'T QUALIFY."
WE AREN'T ABLE TO SURVIVE.
I HAVE SOLD EVERYTHING THAT I
OWN OF ANY VALUE WITH THE
EXCEPTION OF MY WEDDING RING.
John: THAT'S AWFUL, AND IT'S
THE FACT IS MOST DISABLED PEOPLE
WHO APPLY FOR DISABILITY
BENEFITS DO GET DENIED.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT
DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BUT IS
ACTUALLY TRUE LIKE HOW MOST
TRUFFLE OIL ISN'T MADE WITH
TRUFFLES, OR THAT
THE OLDEST PERSON ALIVE
TECHNICALLY NEVER DIES, OR THE
FACT THAT TIM WALZ IS YOUNGER
THAN WEIRD AL.
INSIDE YOU THERE ARE TWO WOLVES.
BUT THAT MAN'S NOT ALONE.
A GAO REPORT FOUND THAT BETWEEN
2014 AND 2019,
ABOUT 48,000 INDIVIDUALS FILED
FOR BANKRUPTCY WHILE AWAITING A
FINAL DECISION ABOUT THEIR
DISABILITY APPEALS.
AND THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING OF
THE PROBLEMS HERE.
BECAUSE THESE BENEFITS CAN BE
HARD TO GET, EASY TO LOSE, AND
FOR REASONS WE'LL GET INTO--
CAN TURN YOUR LIFE UPSIDE DOWN.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
DISABILITY BENEFITS.
AND LET'S START WITH HOW YOU GET
APPROVED.
ASSUMING YOUR INCOME'S BELOW A
CERTAIN THRESHOLD, THE TWO KEY
QUESTIONS TO DETERMINE IF YOU
QUALIFY ARE:
"ARE YOU DISABLED?" AND-- FOR
ADULTS, AT LEAST--
"DOES YOUR DISABILITY PREVENT
YOU FROM WORKING ENOUGH TO
SUPPORT YOURSELF?"
WHICH FEELS REASONABLE.
THE PROBLEM IS HOW THE AGENCY
CHOOSES TO ANSWER THOSE
QUESTIONS.
BECAUSE THE ANSWER TO
"ARE YOU DISABLED?" ISN'T ALWAYS
BASED ON THE OPINION OF YOUR OWN
DOCTOR.
THE AGENCY STARTS THEIR
DETERMINATIONS BY CONSULTING
A LIST OF CONDITIONS AND
ILLNESSES, THAT HAVE A NARROW
SET OF CRITERIA THAT MUST BE
MET.
AND DOCTORS WHO'VE HAD PATIENTS
GO THROUGH THE SYSTEM WILL TELL
YOU THEY'VE SEEN PEOPLE WITH
SERIOUS CONDITIONS FAIL TO
QUALIFY.
YOU HAVE HAD PATIENTS WITH
SEVERE EPILEPSY.
YES.
WHO HAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN FOR
A BENEFITS.
YES.
??? WITH--
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS.
MS TURNED DOWN FOR BENEFITS.
YES.
??? WITH
TURNED DOWN.
SO IT'S VERY TRICKY.
IT IS.
IT DEPENDS ON A REVIEW FOR
SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER EXAMINED THE
PATIENT BEFORE.
John: THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
AND NO OFFENSE TO THAT
INTERVIEWER BUT THE CORRECT
RESPONSE TO "MY DEMENTIA
PATIENTS HAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN
FOR BENEFITS" ISN'T "SO IT'S
VERY TRICKY?", IT'S "HOLY SHIT,
WE LIVE IN HELL."
"IT'S VERY TRICKY," IS SOMETHING
YOU SAY AFTER SEEING
A RUBIK'S CUBE FOR THE FIRST
TIME OR WHEN YOUR PARENTS ASK
YOU TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE WHOLE
"JD VANCE COUCH THING" IS.
BUT I WANT TO FOCUS ON THE LAST
THING DR. BOB BALABAN SAID THERE
THAT AN APPLICATION CAN BE
DENIED, OVER THE ADVICE OF YOUR
OWN DOCTOR, ON THE
RECOMMENDATION OF SOMEONE WHO'S
NEVER MET YOU, BUT JUST REVIEWED
YOUR RECORDS.
BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY RIGHT.
THE APPROVAL SYSTEM VARIES FROM
STATE TO STATE, BUT SOME IN
PARTICULAR, LEAVE A LOT TO BE
DESIRED.
A 2019 INVESTIGATION IN
TENNESSEE FOUND THAT DOCTORS
CONTRACTED TO REVIEW
APPLICATIONS WERE PAID A FLAT
RATE PER CASE, MEANING THE
FASTER THEY WORKED, THE MORE
MONEY THEY MADE.
ONE DOCTOR EARNED $420,000 IN A
YEAR BY REVIEWING OVER 9,000
APPLICATIONS, SO HE AVERAGED A
CASE EVERY 12 MINUTES."
WHICH IS JUST WAY TOO SHORT.
THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS YOU CAN
DO IN 12 MINUTES:
MAKE BREAKFAST, READ A
CHAPTER OF A BOOK, WATCH THE
ENTIRETY OF KENDALL JENNER'S
"GUIDE TO SPRING FRENCH GIRL
MAKEUP"-- YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE
THE WAY SHE GUA SHAS HER BROWS.
BUT REVIEWING POTENTIALLY
THOUSANDS OF PAGES OF A MEDICAL
HISTORY ISN'T ONE OF THEM.
AND EVEN WHEN A STATE PAYS A
DOCTOR TO MEET WITH AN APPLICANT
IN-PERSON, THEY CAN STILL BE
LESS THAN THOROUGH, AS THIS
MOTHER FOUND.
FOUR YOUR OLD VALKYRIE CASTS
HAS CEREBRAL PALSY.
HER DOCTORS ENCOURAGED HER MOM
TO APPLY FOR A SUPPLEMENT INCOME
TO HELP PAY FOR CARE.
ASTRONOMICAL IN HUNDREDS OF
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
THE SOCIAL ADMINISTRATION HAS
DENIED BASED ON THIS MEDICAL
EXAM CONDUCTED BY A DOCTOR HIRED
BY A SOCIAL SECURITY FOR THE
DOCTOR SAID VALKYRIE'S OVERALL
GATE IS PERFECTLY NORMAL EVEN
THOUGH YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE A
SEVERE LIMP.
PATTY-CAKE, PATTY-CAKE...
THE DOCTOR'S EXAM CLAIMED HER
LEFT HAND IS NORMAL AND FULL
STRENGTH BUT MEDICAL REPORTS SAY
THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
AND THE GOVERNMENT DOCTOR
REPORTED THAT VALKYRIE DISPLAYED
UNIMPAIRED READING AND WRITING,
EVEN THOUGH HER MOM SAYS THOSE
WERE NOT EVEN TESTED DURING THE
EXAM.
EVERYTHING IS WRONG.
THAT IS ABSURD.
THE ONLY WAY THAT REPORT
COULD'VE BEEN MORE WRONG IS IF
IT'D GONE ON TO DESCRIBE THE
PLOT OF "STUART LITTLE":
"VALKYRIE IS A PRECOCIOUS MOUSE
THAT'S BEEN ADOPTED BY GEENA
DAVIS AND HUGH LAURIE, BUT THIS
HAS NO BEARING ON HER READING
AND WRITING,
BENEFITS DENIED."
AND ON TOP OF THAT, THE AGENCY'S
CRITERIA FOR A DISABILITY CAN BE
WILDLY OUT OF STEP WITH MODERN
MEDICAL PRACTICE.
TAKE KIDS WITH SICKLE CELL
DISEASE.
ACCORDING TO THE AGENCY'S
STANDARDS, A KEY CRITERION FOR
THEY'RE ANEMIC--
ELIGIBILITY IS FOR KIDS TO SHOW
THEY'RE ANEMIC--
A DETERMINATION MADE BY TESTING
HOW MUCH HEMOGLOBIN IS IN THEIR
BLOOD.
THE PROBLEM IS,
MODERN MEDICATIONS ARE AIMED AT
RAISING HEMOGLOBIN LEVELS.
IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE
SICKLE CELL, OR THAT IT DOESN'T
IMPACT YOUR LIFE-- IT'S JUST,
YOU'RE NOT NECESSARILY ANEMIC.
BUT SOCIAL SECURITY STILL LOOKS
FOR SEVERE ANEMIA WHEN DECIDING
ELIGIBILITY, WITH ONE DOCTOR
SAYING KIDS ARE
"ALMOST GETTING PUNISHED FOR
HAVING THE MODERN MEDICAL
TREATMENT."
WHICH IS AWFUL.
MEDICAL TREATMENT SHOULD NOT
FEEL LIKE A PUNISHMENT--
SOMETHING, BY THE WAY, THAT
SHOULD BE POINTED OUT TO WHOEVER
THE FUCK INVENTED
THE MAMMOGRAM MACHINE.
BECAUSE IT'S TWO PLASTIC BINDER
COVERS SMASHING YOUR BOOB AND
HOLDING IT THERE IN TIME OUT.
LET ME BE CLEAR: MAMMOGRAMS ARE
IMPORTANT AND YOU SHOULD
ABSOLUTELY GET THEM REGULARLY,
BUT LET'S NOT ACT LIKE THEY
DON'T FEEL LIKE THE TITTY
GALLOWS.
SO, TO RECAP: YOUR RECORDS CAN
BE REVIEWED BY SOMEONE WHO'S
NEVER MET YOU.
YOU CAN BE BRIEFLY EXAMINED BY
SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERTISE IN
YOUR PARTICULAR CONDITION.
AND THEN THEY CAN USE OUTDATED
DATA TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT
YOU GET CRITICAL BENEFITS.
AND SADLY, THE PROCESS IS NO
LESS FLAWED FOR ANSWERING THE
OTHER KEY QUESTION:
WHETHER YOUR DISABILITY PREVENTS
YOU FROM WORKING ENOUGH TO
SUPPORT YOURSELF.
BECAUSE PART OF THE WAY THE
AGENCY ANSWERS THAT IS BY
CONSULTING A JOB LIST CALLED THE
"DICTIONARY OF OCCUPATIONAL
TITLES."
IN ORDER TO DENY SOMEONE
BENEFITS, THE AGENCY MUST CITE
THREE JOBS FROM THAT LIST THAT
MEET THE PERSON'S ABILITIES.
BUT THE VAST MAJORITY OF THOSE
JOBS WERE LAST UPDATED IN 1977.
AND IN THE LAST FEW YEARS PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN DENIED BENEFITS
BECAUSE THE AGENCY SAID THEY
COULD FIND JOBS ON THE LIST,
INCLUDING NUT SORTER,
DOWEL INSPECTOR,
EGG PROCESSOR AND
MAGNETIC TAPE WINDER.
WHICH WOULD BE EASY JOBS TO FIND
IF YOU LIVED IN 1977 OR
"THE BUSY WORLD OF RICHARD
SCARRY."
BUT IT'S A RIDICULOUS LIST FOR
THE MODERN DAY.
ALSO-- AND THIS ISN'T STRICTLY
RELEVANT-- THE DICTIONARY OF
OCCUPATIONAL TITLES DOESN'T HAVE
A WEBSITE THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS
MADE IN THIS CENTURY, EITHER.
BECAUSE THAT LOOKS LIKE THE
FIRST WEBSITE.
IT LOOKS SO OLD, ITS ADDRESS
SHOULD BE WWW DOT WEBSITE DOT
COM.
IT'S SO OLD, IT LOOKS LIKE ITS
WEBMASTER WAS ALAN TURING.
THIS WEBSITE IS SO OLD.
HOW OLD IS IT?
John: IT'S IP ADDRESS IS ONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
WITH ALL THOSE BARS TO CLEAR,
IT'S HARDLY SURPRISING THE
DENIAL RATE IS SO HIGH--
LESS THAN A THIRD OF THOSE
APPLYING FOR SSI WERE ALLOWED AT
INITIAL APPLICATION, AND FOR
SSDI, IT'S LESS THAN A QUARTER.
NOW, I SHOULD SAY-- YOU CAN
APPEAL AN INITIAL DENIAL-- AND
MANY DO.
IN FACT, APPEALS ARE SO
COMMONPLACE, THERE ARE EVEN
LAWYERS WHO SPECIALIZE IN THEM
AND ADVERTISE ON TV, LIKE THIS:
YOU GET HURT.
YOU CAN'T WORK.
SO YOU APPLY FOR SOCIAL SECURITY
BENEFITS.
BUT YOU GET DENIED?
THE LAWS ARE SO CONFUSING!
IF YOU'VE BEEN DENIED, YOUR
SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY
BENEFITS, CALL ME RIGHT NOW?
HE CAN HELP YOU GET YOUR
CHECK STUB IN.
I KNOW HOW TO CUT THROUGH
THAT RED TAPE.
CALL ME RIGHT NOW!
John: "CALL ME RIGHT NOW!
I'M A BIG TOUGH MAN WITH A BIG
LOUD VOICE.
CALL ME RIGHT NOW!
I LIKE TRUCKS THAT GO WEE AND
MEAT THAT GOES SQUEE!
CALL ME RIGHT NOW!
I PISS, SHIT, AND CUM GASOLINE.
CALL ME RIGHT NOW!!!!"
WE'VE ACTUALLY FEATURED THAT MAN
ON THIS SHOW BEFORE.
HE CALLS HIMSELF THE TEXAS
HAMMER AND HOLDS THE UNIQUE
DISTINCTION OF BEING THE FIRST
PERSON IN HISTORY WHO HAS THE
VOICE OF SOMEONE WHO WOULD BEAT
HIS FACE UP.
ONCE YOU APPEAL, YOU CAN GO
THROUGH MULTIPLE STAGES.
THE FIRST IN-PERSON IS WITH AN
"ADMINISTRATIVE LAW JUDGE" WHO
WORKS FOR THE SOCIAL SECURITY
ADMINISTRATION.
THEY'RE ALLOWED SUCH WIDE
DISCRETION THAT SOME JUDGES
APPROVE JUST 9 PERCENT OF THE
CASES BEFORE THEM, WITH
OTHERS, AS MUCH AS 96 PERCENT.
IF YOU'RE DENIED BY ONE OF THESE
JUDGES, YOU CAN EVENTUALLY GO
OUTSIDE THE SOCIAL SECURITY
SYSTEM, AND APPEAL TO A FEDERAL
DISTRICT COURT, WHICH WILL
DETERMINE IF THE AGENCY MADE A
MISTAKE IN YOUR FIRST HEARING.
AND THEY'VE FOUND SOME PRETTY
MONUMENTAL ONES, LIKE WITH
THIS MAN, WHOSE DISABILITY CLAIM
FOR BACK PAIN AND PERMANENT
NERVE DAMAGE FROM AN INJURY WAS
REPEATEDLY DENIED.
TURNS OUT BOTH
SOCIAL SECURITY AND AN
ADMINISTRATIVE LAW
JUDGE ADMINISTRATIVE LAW
JUDGE DENIED JONATHAN'S
DISABILITY BASED ON SOMEONE
ELSE'S MEDICAL RECORDS.
THE JUDGE DIDN'T NOTICE THAT?
NOBODY NOTICED IN THIS.
I THINK IT'S CARELESSNESS.
WE'VE SEEN THIS HAPPEN ALL THE
TIME.
John: ALL THE TIME?
IT'S NOT GREAT THAT A FEDERAL
AGENCY SEEMS TO HAVE THE SAME
EYE FOR DETAIL AS A HUNGOVER
STARBUCKS BARISTA.
"DISABILITY BENEFITS FOR A
...LOOKS LIKE... BICHAEL?
BENEFITS FOR BICHAEL?"
I'VE GOT A BICHAEL HERE.
NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS, IF THE
COURT FINDS THAT THE SOCIAL
SECURITY ADMINISTRATION REALLY
SCREWED UP, THE AGENCY ITSELF
HAS TO PAY YOUR LAWYER'S FEES.
BUT IN A SIGN OF JUST HOW OFTEN
IT FUCKS UP, IT'S HAD TO PAY
MORE THAN $390 MILLION IN
ATTORNEY FEES, OVER THE PAST
DECADE.
AND ALL THIS TAKES TIME AND
EFFORT.
APPLICANTS ARE WAITING ON
AVERAGE NEARLY 8 MONTHS FOR AN
INITIAL DECISION.
WITH APPEALS TAKING EVEN LONGER.
IN FACT, MOST WAIT OVER A YEAR
FOR A FINAL DECISION ON THEIR
CLAIM.
BUT THAT MAN YOU JUST SAW, HAS
BEEN TRYING TO GET BENEFITS FOR
EIGHT YEARS NOW.
AND THINK HOW MUCH HAS CHANGED
IN THE LAST EIGHT YEARS:
BARACK OBAMA WENT FROM THE MOST
POWERFUL MAN IN THE COUNTRY TO
AN UNEMPLOYED GUY WHO TWEETS
PLAYLISTS.
EIGHT YEARS AGO RYAN GOSLING
SAVED JAZZ.
EIGHT YEARS AGO, HARAMBE.
HARAMBE, EIGHT YEARS AGO.
IF YOU CAN SAY "I APPLIED FOR
BENEFITS WHEN HARAMBE WAS
ALIVE," AND STILL NOT HAVE THEM,
THE SYSTEM IS MOVING TOO SLOW.
AND THIS IS DUE, IN PART, TO THE
FACT THE SOCIAL SECURITY
ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN
UNDERFUNDED FOR OVER A DECADE
NOW.
THEIR BUDGET WAS SLASHED IN 2011
AS PART OF A REPUBLICAN-LED
AUSTERITY CAMPAIGN, AND IT'S
NEVER RECOVERED.
SO IT'S BEEN SERVING A GROWING
NUMBER OF APPLICANTS AND
BENEFICIARIES, WITH LESS
RESOURCES AND STAFF.
IT'S FRANKLY NO WONDER, LAST
YEAR, THERE WAS A BACKLOG OF
OVER A MILLION PENDING INITIAL
DISABILITY CLAIMS.
AND THOSE DELAYS HAVE REAL COSTS
FOR THOSE STUCK WAITING, LIKE
THIS MAN:
I HAVE A BONE DISEASE AMONGST
OTHER THINGS AND MY BODY WON'T
LET ME WORK ANYMORE.
NEAR THE KENTUCKY BORDER,
TELLS US HE WAS LIVING UNDER
THIS GREEN LAWN AVENUE BRIDGE IN
COLUMBUS FOR A WHILE.
YOU CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE YOU
DON'T KNOW WHO IS COMING AROUND
THE NEXT CORNER.
DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING
TO ENCOUNTER.
THANKFULLY A FRIEND TOOK HIM
IN AS ALVIN FOUGHT TO GET HIS
APPROVED SOCIAL SECURITY
BENEFITS.
THE WHOLE ORDEAL HE SAYS LASTED
NEARLY FOUR YEARS.
THAT'S THE BARRIER BETWEEN ME
AND MY OWN PLACE.
I'M NOT TRYING TO GET RICH BREAD
I'MI JUST WANT WHAT'S OWED TO ME.
John: RIGHT.
IF YOU WANT TO GET RICH QUICK,
GETTING DISABILITY BENEFITS IS
THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO DO
THAT.
EVERYONE KNOWS THE FASTEST WAY
TO GET RICH IS
TO WIN THE LOTTERY.
THE EASIEST IS HAVE RICH
PARENTS, THE GROSSEST IS TO
MARRY RUPERT MURDOCH.
AND THE MOST ABSURD IS TO
BECOME THE HAWK TUAH GIRL.
THESE ARE YOUR MAIN OPTIONS IN
THIS ECONOMY.
AND FOR THE RECORD: IT'S NOT
LIKE THE BENEFITS ARE
PARTICULARLY GENEROUS.
THE AVERAGE MONTHLY SSDI BENEFIT
IS CURRENTLY JUST OVER $1,500,
AND THE "MAXIMUM" MONTHLY SSI
PAYMENT IS $943 FOR AN
INDIVIDUAL.
AND EVEN IF YOU GET APPROVED,
YOUR TROUBLES AREN'T OVER.
AND THAT BRINGS US TO THE
INCREDIBLY STRINGENT RULES WE
FORCE THOSE WHO RECEIVE THESE
BENEFITS TO LIVE BY.
FIRST, THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH
AGGRESSIVE CAPS ON INCOME AND
SAVINGS.
LET'S SAY YOU'RE NO LONGER ABLE
TO WORK FULL-TIME, SO YOU GET
SSDI.
IF YOU'RE ABLE TO WORK A LITTLE
BIT, PART-TIME, YOU'RE ALLOWED
TO DO THAT AND GET PAID-- BUT
ONLY TO A POINT.
IN 2022,
IF YOUR MONTHLY WAGES WENT FROM
$1,350 TO $1,351-- THAT ONE
DOLLAR COULD MAKE YOU
LOSE YOUR ENTIRE BENEFIT.
AND FOR SSI RECIPIENTS, THE
RULES ARE EVEN STRICTER.
BECAUSE THAT PROGRAM PLACES HARD
LIMITS ON HOW MUCH MONEY YOU'RE
ALLOWED TO HAVE IN SAVINGS.
YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE A FEW
RESOURCES-- LIKE
OWNING ONE CAR AND A HOME-- BUT
BEYOND THAT, YOU CAN HAVE
NO MORE THAN $2000 DOLLARS WORTH
OF ASSETS.
ANY MORE, AND YOU COULD LOSE
YOUR BENEFITS.
AND THAT'S THE CASE EVEN IF WHAT
SENDS YOU OVER THE LIMIT IS
SOMETHING LIKE RECEIVING A SMALL
INHERITANCE, OR EVEN A BIRTHDAY
GIFT.
AND AS THIS WOMAN EXPLAINS, THE
CURRENT ASSET LIMIT MAKES IT
FUNCTIONALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SAVE
MONEY.
AS A SINGLE PERSON, I'M ONLY
ALLOWED TO HAVE $2,000 IN THE
BANK.
MY VAN BROKE DOWN AGAIN.
I NEED TO GET MYSELF A VAN.
MOST VANS COST MORE THAN $2,000.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT ONE WHERE
THE ENGINE IS STILL RUNNING OR
YOU ARE GOING TO PLAN ON PUSHING
IT LIKE FRED FLINTSTONE.
I CAN'T EVEN DO A GOFUNDME
BECAUSE A GOFUNDME WOULD PUT ME
OVER THE ASSET LIMITS AND I
WOULD LOSE MY INCOME.
John: SHE'S RIGHT.
THE LIMIT NOT ONLY PUNISHES YOU
FOR SAVING MONEY, IT EVEN
CONSTRAINS YOU FROM ACCEPTING
HELP FROM OTHERS.
SHE'S ALSO RIGHT ABOUT NO ONE
WANTING TO DRIVE A FLINTSTONES
CAR EXCEPT, OF COURSE,
MORNING DRUNK HODA AND KATHIE
LEE.
YABBA DABBA DUI.
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING, WHY
ONLY $2000?
THAT'S BECAUSE CONGRESS HASN'T
RAISED THE LIMIT IN DECADES, AND
IT'S NEVER BEEN INDEXED TO
INFLATION.
IF IT HAD, IT'D BE $10,000
TODAY.
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW: THE AGENCY
POLICES THIS VIGOROUSLY
SENDING OVERPAYMENT NOTICES TO
MORE THAN TWO MILLION PEOPLE
EACH YEAR.
IF THEY FIND THAT YOU WENT OVER
THE CAP IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT,
THEY MIGHT ADVISE YOU TO SPEND
IT DOWN, SO YOU'RE BELOW THEIR
LIMIT.
OR THEY MIGHT SUSPEND, OR
CANCEL, YOUR BENEFITS.
OR EVEN TRY AND CLAW BACK ALL
THE MONEY THEY SENT YOU, WHICH
CAN BE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
IT'S NO WONDER PEOPLE ARE SO
CAREFUL TO STAY UNDER THE LIMIT
BUT EVEN THAT'S NOT A GUARANTEE
OF SAFETY.
BECAUSE, AS YOU'VE SEEN THE
AGENCY'S BOTH UNDERSTAFFED AND
ERROR PRONE, SO MISTAKES GET
MADE.
FOR INSTANCE, MANY
RECIPIENTS SAW THEIR BENEFITS
SUSPENDED AS A RESULT OF COVID
STIMULUS CHECKS BEING
AUTOMATICALLY DEPOSITED INTO
THEIR BANK ACCOUNTS.
THAT MONEY WASN'T SUPPOSED TO
COUNT AGAINST ASSET LIMITS, BUT
TOO OFTEN, THIS HAPPENED:
JULIA'S ONLY INCOME IS HER
MONTHLY SOCIAL SECURITY
DISABILITY CHECK.
JULIA IS BLIND AND HAS
CEREBRAL PALSY.
DURING THE PANDEMIC, $3200 IN
STIMULUS CHECKS, ECONOMIC IMPACT
PAYMENTS WERE DEPOSITED IN HER
BANK ACCOUNT.
NOW SSA HAS FROZEN HER MONTHLY
PAYMENTS AND DEMANDING THOUSANDS
OF DOLLARS TO BE RETURNED BUT
DEMANDED TO REPAY MORE THAN
DOUBLE SHE HAD IN STIMULUS
MONEY, $7300.
THE AGENCY NOW THINGS SHE WAS
NOT ENTITLED TO RECEIVE.
I JUST ASSUMED SINCE THE
GOVERNMENT PUT THE MONEY IN,
THEY WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT SHE'S
GOING GOING TO HAVE EXTRA MONEY.
John: OH, COME ON.
THAT IS JUST INFURIATING
INCOMPETENCE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE CAN
THINK THE GOVERNMENT'S RUN BY A
SHADOWY CABAL OF ELITES, WHEN
MORE OFTEN, IT APPEARS TO BE RUN
BY THREE RACCOONS STACKED UP IN
A MEN'S WAREHOUSE SUIT.
BECAUSE ONLY THEY WOULD SEND
SOMEONE MONEY DURING THE
PANDEMIC, FORGET THEY WERE THE
ONES WHO SENT IT, AND
THEN DEMAND MORE THAN DOUBLE
THAT MONEY BACK.
THAT IS CHAOTIC
RACCOON-IN-A-SUIT BEHAVIOR.
BUT MAYBE THE ULTIMATE
EXPRESSION OF THE MADNESS OF OUR
CURRENT SYSTEM IS THE SO-CALLED
"MARRIAGE PENALTY."
BASICALLY, IF YOU'RE AN
INDIVIDUAL GETTING SSI, YOUR
ASSETS ARE CAPPED AT $2,000.
BUT IF YOU GET MARRIED, YOUR
ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD ASSETS ARE
CAPPED AT $3,000.
AND IF YOU GO OVER, YOU NOT ONLY
LOSE YOUR BENEFITS, YOU RISK
LOSING ACCESS TO MEDICAID, TOO.
JUST WATCH AS THIS WOMAN
EXPLAINS WHY THIS MEANS SHE CAN
NEVER MARRY HER PARTNER.
ARE MARRIAGE PLANS RIGHT NOW
ARE ON HOLD BECAUSE THERE IS A
MARRIAGE PENALTY TO WEAR IF WE
GET MARRIED HIS INCOME WOULD
MAKE ME NO LONGER QUALIFIED TO
RECEIVE MEDICAID.
SO ALL MY MEDICAL EQUIPMENT,
EVERYTHING, I WOULD NOT BE ABLE
TO HAVE ANY OF THAT ANYMORE.
TO JUST PAY FOR CAREGIVERS, IT
WOULD BE BETWEEN $100,000.200000
A YEAR.
MEDICAID IS THE ONLY TYPE OF
INSURANCE THAT WOULD PAY FOR
THIS MUCH CARE.
IT'S NORMAL TO FALL IN LOVE AND
WANT TO START A FAMILY.
IT'S VERY NORMAL AND IT'S NOT
TREATED THAT WAY BY SOCIETY.
John: IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT
DISABLED PEOPLE GETTING THEIR
BASIC NEEDS MET, IT'S ABOUT
CREATING A SOCIETY WHERE THEY'RE
EQUAL AND ACTIVE MEMBERS.
BECAUSE IT IS VERY NORMAL TO
FALL IN LOVE AND WANT TO GET
MARRIED.
IT'S ADMITTEDLY LESS NORMAL FOR
THE OBJECT OF THAT LOVE TO
BE A CABBAGE, BUT THAT WEDDING
WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, AND I
APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE.
NOBODY.
AND WITH ALL THIS BUREAUCRATIC
BULLSHIT, IT'S NO WONDER THAT SO
MANY WHO RELY ON THESE BENEFITS
FEEL TRAPPED IN A CYCLE OF
POVERTY.
ONE STUDY FOUND
ROUGHLY HALF OF ALL SUPPLEMENTAL
INCOME BENEFICIARIES HAD INCOMES
BELOW THE FEDERAL POVERTY LINE
EVEN WITH THEIR BENEFITS.
SO: WHAT CAN WE DO?
WELL, AS WE'VE SAID BEFORE, WE
COULD SWITCH TO
UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE, WHICH
WOULD SOLVE AT LEAST PART OF
THIS.
BUT SHORT OF THAT,
THERE ARE SMALLER, SIGNIFICANT
MEASURES WE COULD TAKE.
FIRST, THE SOCIAL SECURITY
ADMINISTRATION CLEARLY NEEDS TO
BE PROPERLY FUNDED.
ALSO, IN MAKING DETERMINATIONS,
THEY NEED TO GIVE MORE WEIGHT TO
THE ASSESSMENT OF PEOPLE'S OWN
DOCTORS, AND FULLY UPDATE THEIR
JOBS LIST TO THE 21ST CENTURY.
AND THERE'S ACTUALLY SOME GOOD
NEWS HERE.
BECAUSE THERE ARE
TWO BILLS IN CONGRESS THAT, IF
PASSED, WOULD ADDRESS AT LEAST
SOME OF WHAT YOU'VE SEEN
TONIGHT.
BOTH WOULD RAISE THE ASSET LIMIT
TO $10,000 FOR INDIVIDUALS AND
INDEX IT TO INFLATION.
AND THIS BILL WOULD ALSO RAISE
BENEFITS, AND GET RID OF CERTAIN
NEITHER WOULD FIX EVERYTHING,
BUT THEY WOULD BE A START.
CONGRESS COULD PASS AT LEAST ONE
THIS YEAR IF THEY CARED TO.
AND I'D ARGUE THEY SHOULD, AND
YOU COULD CALL YOUR
REPRESENTATIVES AND TELL THEM
THAT.
IF YOU WERE SO INCLINED.
BECAUSE, TO PUT ALL OF THIS IN
TERMS THE SOCIAL SECURITY
ADMINISTRATION SEEMS TO PREFER
AND I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS
THIS SYSTEM NEEDS TO BE BETTER.
NOT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF
DISABLED PEOPLE, BUT FOR
EVERYONE.
ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS?
OKAY.
♪ OPEN
WHAT KIND OF SOCIETY DO WE WANT
TO LIVE IN? ONE THAT
PUNISHES PEOPLE WITH
ENDLESS PAPERWORK FOR HAVING A
MEDICAL CONDITION LIKE
CHRONIC GRANULOCYTOPENIA?
DO WE WANT A SOCIETY THAT
CREATES ENDLESS
HOOPS PEOPLE HAVE TO JUMP
THROUGH FOR THE TINIEST MORSEL
OF SUPPORT?
OR DO WE WANT A SOCIETY THAT
STEPS UP TO THE PLATE AND
ACTUALLY DELIVERS FOR THE
PEOPLE?
IF IT'S THAT ONE, THEN WE DO
NEED TO MAKE CHANGES.
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, THIS SYSTEM
IS FUCKED.
I MEAN SUPREMELY AND MASSIVELY
FUCKED.
I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL.
THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANKS FOR
WATCHING, WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT
WEEK, GOOD NIGHT.
NO.
STOP IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THAT'S IT.
I'M SCOOTING AWAY.
I'M LEAVING YOU.
DON'T MIME COMING OFF OF ME!
[CHEERS AND APPLAU