1
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,069
I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANKS

2
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,070
FOR JOINING US!

3
00:00:39,071 --> 00:00:40,571
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK!

4
00:00:40,572 --> 00:00:41,105
KAMALA HARRIS RELEASED HER

5
00:00:41,106 --> 00:00:42,073
HEALTH RECORDS, WE LEARNED TRUMP

6
00:00:42,074 --> 00:00:42,707
SENT COVID TESTS TO PUTIN EARLY

7
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,642
IN THE PANDEMIC, AND FLORIDA

8
00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:46,277
SPENT THE FIRST PART OF THE WEEK

9
00:00:46,278 --> 00:00:46,878
BRACING FOR HURRICANE MILTON,

10
00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:47,812
WHICH-- AMONG OTHER THINGS--

11
00:00:47,813 --> 00:00:50,815
THREW AN AWKWARD WRENCH INTO

12
00:00:50,816 --> 00:00:51,382
TUESDAY'S "DANCING WITH THE

13
00:00:51,383 --> 00:00:52,650
STARS."

14
00:00:52,651 --> 00:00:53,251
FOR THE FINAL DANCE OF THE

15
00:00:53,252 --> 00:00:56,421
NIGHT, OUR BACHELOR STAR WILL

16
00:00:56,422 --> 00:00:57,155
TANGO TO THE HAIR METAL CLASSIC

17
00:00:57,156 --> 00:00:59,223
"ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE."

18
00:00:59,224 --> 00:01:00,324
NOW, WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT

19
00:01:00,325 --> 00:01:01,926
THESE SONGS WERE CHOSEN WEEKS IN

20
00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:02,794
ADVANCE OF THE DEVASTATING

21
00:01:02,795 --> 00:01:05,596
WEATHER EVENTS."

22
00:01:05,597 --> 00:01:06,397
YEAH, NOT GREAT!

23
00:01:06,398 --> 00:01:07,031
AND WHILE I'M SURE THE SONG WAS

24
00:01:07,032 --> 00:01:09,400
DECIDED WEEKS AGO, IT'S ALSO THE

25
00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:15,473
MIDDLE OF HURRICANE SEASON!

26
00:01:15,474 --> 00:01:16,207
THIS WASN'T SOME FREAK,

27
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:17,175
UNFORESEEABLE THING LIKE IF

28
00:01:17,176 --> 00:01:17,975
YOU'D HAD TO COME OUT AND SAY,

29
00:01:17,976 --> 00:01:19,377
"BEFORE OUR CONTESTANTS CHA-CHA

30
00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:19,977
TO THE THONG SONG, WE WANT YOU

31
00:01:19,978 --> 00:01:22,847
TO KNOW, IT WAS CHOSEN WEEKS

32
00:01:22,848 --> 00:01:23,448
BEFORE THIS MORNING'S TRAGIC

33
00:01:23,449 --> 00:01:25,083
MASS THONG-STRANGLING.

34
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,851
PLEASE STAY STRONG.

35
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:28,019
STRONG, STA-STRONG STRONG

36
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:29,787
STRONG."

37
00:01:29,788 --> 00:01:31,589
MILTON'S DAMAGE WAS EXTENSIVE,

38
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:32,357
AND AWFUL.

39
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:35,560
THOUGH, THANKFULLY, IT WASN'T AS

40
00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:40,698
DIRE AS MANY HAD PREDICTED.

41
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:41,265
THE RUN-UP TO THE STORM DID

42
00:01:41,266 --> 00:01:42,433
PROVIDE A REMINDER OF A WEIRDLY

43
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:43,101
WIDELY-USED METRIC FOR STORM

44
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,435
SEVERITY.

45
00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:45,036
WAFFLE HOUSE IS STILL

46
00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:46,637
MONITORING THE STORM'S IMPACTS.

47
00:01:46,638 --> 00:01:47,438
FEMA OFFICIALS USED THE WAFFLE

48
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:48,339
HOUSE INDEX AS AN UNOFFICIAL

49
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:51,509
METRIC DURING DISASTERS.

50
00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:52,944
WE CALL IT THE WAFFLE HOUSE

51
00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,646
INDEX, AND IT'S VERY RELIABLE

52
00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:56,681
THE INDEX WORKS AS AN

53
00:01:56,682 --> 00:01:58,016
UNOFFICIAL INDICATOR TO LOCALS

54
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:01,352
OF THE SEVERITY OF AN IMPENDING

55
00:02:01,353 --> 00:02:02,720
STORM, BASED ON IF THEIR NEAREST

56
00:02:02,721 --> 00:02:05,423
WAFFLE HOUSE IS CLOSED OR NOT.

57
00:02:05,424 --> 00:02:06,424
IT'S TRUE-- THERE'S

58
00:02:06,425 --> 00:02:07,425
SOMETHING CALLED A "WAFFLE HOUSE

59
00:02:07,426 --> 00:02:08,593
INDEX."

60
00:02:08,594 --> 00:02:10,294
AND IT'S JARRING TO HAVE

61
00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:10,928
SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT CONVEYED

62
00:02:10,929 --> 00:02:11,662
IN TERMS OF WAFFLE HOUSE.

63
00:02:11,663 --> 00:02:12,697
IT'S LIKE FINDING OUT NORAD

64
00:02:12,698 --> 00:02:13,531
RELIES ON THE "OSHKOSH B'GOSH

65
00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:19,437
NUCLEAR THREAT LEVEL."

66
00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:21,939
WE ARE AT RED OVERALLS,

67
00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:23,307
EVERYONE, GET UNDERGROUND.

68
00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:24,475
THE WAFFLE HOUSE INDEX ACTUALLY

69
00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:25,109
ORIGINATED WITH THE GOVERNMENT.

70
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:25,743
AROUND 20 YEARS AGO, THIS FEMA

71
00:02:25,744 --> 00:02:27,278
ADMINISTRATOR REALIZED THAT,

72
00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:28,780
WHEN GOING INTO A DISASTER ZONE,

73
00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:29,414
"IF YOU GET THERE AND THE WAFFLE

74
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:30,782
HOUSE IS CLOSED?"

75
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:31,215
"THAT'S REALLY BAD.

76
00:02:31,216 --> 00:02:32,183
THAT'S WHERE YOU GO TO WORK."

77
00:02:32,184 --> 00:02:32,784
AND THAT'S PARTLY BECAUSE THE

78
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:34,952
COMPANY'S HAD A FANATICAL

79
00:02:34,953 --> 00:02:36,688
DEVOTION TO STAYING OPEN.

80
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:37,221
OVER THE YEARS, IT'S SEEN

81
00:02:37,222 --> 00:02:40,425
BUSINESS SKYROCKET AT

82
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:40,958
RESTAURANTS THAT REOPENED

83
00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:43,061
QUICKLY AFTER HURRICANES, SO

84
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:43,561
THEY EMBRACED A BUSINESS

85
00:02:43,562 --> 00:02:47,899
STRATEGY CENTERED AROUND KEEPING

86
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:48,433
THEIR RESTAURANTS OPERABLE

87
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:50,968
DURING AND AFTER A DISASTER.

88
00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:51,569
AND THEY KNOW PEOPLE TAKE THIS

89
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,438
SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE WAFFLE

90
00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:54,172
HOUSE'S TWITTER FEED FEATURES

91
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,540
SOBER POSTS LIKE THIS ONE, WITH

92
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:56,374
MAPS OF WHICH RESTAURANTS ARE

93
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:57,575
CLOSED, JUST ABOVE NORMAL

94
00:02:57,576 --> 00:02:59,477
WAFFLE-PUSHING ADS LIKE THIS,

95
00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:00,078
READING, "I HAVE A LOT ON MY

96
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:03,181
PLATE RIGHT NOW."

97
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,349
THAT'S THE MOST JARRING

98
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,283
JUXTAPOSITION OF CONTENT SINCE

99
00:03:05,284 --> 00:03:05,917
SUNNY D ONCE SEEMED TO THREATEN

100
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:08,252
TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

101
00:03:08,253 --> 00:03:10,188
BY THE WAY, THE TWITTER ACCOUNT

102
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:13,758
FOR SATAN REPLIED TO THAT, "I

103
00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:20,834
FEEL YOU SUNNY D MY FRIEND," TO

104
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:21,499
WHICH-- AND THIS TRUE-- SUNNY

105
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:24,335
D REPLIED "THANK U SATAN."

106
00:03:24,336 --> 00:03:25,103
TWITTER USED TO BE GOOD.

107
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:25,737
AND LOOK, I COULD TALK ABOUT THE

108
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,438
GRIM SUBTEXT HERE, FROM THE IDEA

109
00:03:27,439 --> 00:03:28,072
THAT AMERICANS PLACE MORE TRUST

110
00:03:28,073 --> 00:03:29,440
IN RESTAURANT CHAINS THAN THEIR

111
00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:30,074
OWN GOVERNMENT, TO THE FACT THAT

112
00:03:30,075 --> 00:03:30,708
SAME CHAIN HAS SOMEHOW MADE "WE

113
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,577
MAKE OUR EMPLOYEES WORK DURING

114
00:03:32,578 --> 00:03:33,277
NATURAL DISASTERS" INTO A

115
00:03:33,278 --> 00:03:35,313
BRANDING OPPORTUNITY.

116
00:03:35,314 --> 00:03:38,750
BUT I'M GOING TO CHOOSE TO FOCUS

117
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:39,784
ON THE FACT WAFFLE HOUSES HAVE

118
00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:40,885
SOMEHOW BECOME A LIGHT IN THE

119
00:03:40,886 --> 00:03:41,786
STORM-- 11 SCRABBLE TILES OF

120
00:03:41,787 --> 00:03:44,956
BACKLIT HOPE.

121
00:03:44,957 --> 00:03:45,723
WHICH IS WILD COMING FROM A

122
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:48,760
PLACE THAT OTHERWISE EMBODIES

123
00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:49,394
TOTAL CHAOS, FROM THE FREQUENT

124
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,862
BRAWLS, TO THE STAGGERING

125
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:53,331
VARIATIONS OF HASH BROWN BOWLS

126
00:03:53,332 --> 00:03:54,132
- DESCRIBED BY WAFFLE HOUSE AS

127
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:56,868
"THE JAZZ MUSIC OF THE BREAKFAST

128
00:03:56,869 --> 00:04:00,071
SCENE," WHICH I GUESS MAKES

129
00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:00,672
SENSE, BECAUSE, LIKE JAZZ, THE

130
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,407
IDEA OF A HASH BROWN BOWL SOUNDS

131
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:02,940
FUN, BUT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY

132
00:04:02,941 --> 00:04:03,608
EXPERIENCE IT, YOU THINK TO

133
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:04,709
YOURSELF, "THERE'S TOO MUCH

134
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:06,244
GOING ON HERE, AND I'M NOT SURE

135
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:11,616
I'M ENJOYING ANY OF IT."

136
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,250
THERE'S ALSO THEIR CHAOTIC

137
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:13,685
DECISION TO STOCK THEIR

138
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:14,452
JUKEBOXES WITH

139
00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:15,186
BREAKFAST-SPECIFIC KNOCKOFF

140
00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:17,855
SONGS, LIKE THIS.

141
00:04:17,856 --> 00:04:18,356
♪ RAISIN ♪

142
00:04:18,357 --> 00:04:19,857
♪ (RAISIN TOAST) RAISIN TOAST ♪

143
00:04:19,858 --> 00:04:21,426
♪ RAISIN ♪

144
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:26,964
♪ (RAISIN TOAST) RAISIN TOAST ♪

145
00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:27,498
♪ THERE ARE RAISINS IN MY

146
00:04:27,499 --> 00:04:29,901
TOAST ♪

147
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:33,338
♪ RAISIN TOAST ♪

148
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,672
YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE.

149
00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:35,273
"SHERRY, BABY" IS A SONG ABOUT

150
00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:37,975
FRANKIE VALLI BEING HORNY FOR A

151
00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:38,676
GIRL, AND THIS IS BASICALLY

152
00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,578
THAT, BUT RAISINS.

153
00:04:40,579 --> 00:04:41,646
HORNY FOR RAISINS.

154
00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:43,348
WHICH, NOT FOR NOTHING, SOUNDS

155
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:43,948
LIKE IT COULD BE A BELIEVABLE

156
00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:45,917
TITLE OF A JOE BIDEN MEMOIR.

157
00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:48,219
THE POINT IS, WAFFLE HOUSE

158
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:49,554
COMBINES CHAOS WITH ORDER, AND

159
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,489
NOTHING EXEMPLIFIES THAT MORE

160
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,790
THAN THE BONKERS METHOD THEY'VE

161
00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:53,958
DEVISED FOR LINE COOKS TO KEEP

162
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,593
TRACK OF ORDERS.

163
00:04:55,594 --> 00:04:56,728
BECAUSE THEY DON'T USE SIMPLE

164
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,396
METHODS LIKE "SERVERS WRITING IT

165
00:04:58,397 --> 00:04:59,797
DOWN," OR "PUTTING IT IN A

166
00:04:59,798 --> 00:05:00,765
COMPUTER SYSTEM."

167
00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,000
THEY DO SOMETHING FAR MORE

168
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,468
COMPLEX, AS THIS EMPLOYEE SHOWED

169
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,402
ON TIKTOK.

170
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:05,236
ALL OF OUR ORDERS START ON A

171
00:05:05,237 --> 00:05:07,572
PLATE, RIGHT?

172
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:08,139
WE USE JELLY PACKETS TO MARK

173
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,074
MOST OF EVERYTHING.

174
00:05:10,075 --> 00:05:11,943
SO THIS IS A QUICK RUNDOWN.

175
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:12,243
OVER LIGHT?

176
00:05:12,244 --> 00:05:13,378
ALL THE WAY TO THE LEFT.

177
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,178
OVER MEDIUM?

178
00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:15,813
IN THE MIDDLE.

179
00:05:15,814 --> 00:05:16,914
OVER WELL?

180
00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:17,482
ALL THE WAY ON THIS WAY OVER

181
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,750
HERE.

182
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:19,417
SCRAMBLED ON THIS BOTTOM DOWN TO

183
00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:20,284
THE SOUTH.

184
00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:23,154
ORDER UP ON TOP.

185
00:05:23,155 --> 00:05:23,755
IF THE JELLY PACKET IS FLIPPED

186
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:24,989
UP LIKE THIS, THIS IS WHITE

187
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,791
TOAST.

188
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,259
WHEAT TOAST.

189
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:28,860
USING APPLE BUTTER FOR RAISIN

190
00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:29,627
TOAST.

191
00:05:29,628 --> 00:05:31,229
IF YOU THROW A BUTTER JUST ON

192
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,463
THE GRILL LINE, THAT'S A WAFFLE.

193
00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:33,931
FLIP IT OVER?

194
00:05:33,932 --> 00:05:35,933
THAT'S A PECAN WAFFLE.

195
00:05:35,934 --> 00:05:36,501
SOMETIMES, PEOPLE PUT A BLUE

196
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,636
JELLY PACKET ON TOP.

197
00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,872
THAT'S A BLUEBERRY WAFFLE.

198
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:44,042
OH, FUCK OFF.

199
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,777
NOT YOU, MAN IN THIS VIDEO.

200
00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:47,345
YOU SEEM LIKE A GREAT HANG, IT'D

201
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,881
BE AN HONOR TO VAPE WITH YOU.

202
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,382
BUT THAT SYSTEM'S LUDICROUS.

203
00:05:51,383 --> 00:05:53,317
WHEN HE OPENED WITH "ALL OUR

204
00:05:53,318 --> 00:05:54,318
ORDERS START ON A PLATE," I

205
00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:56,120
THOUGHT "MAKES SENSE.

206
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,088
FOOD GOES ON PLATE, TAKE ME ON

207
00:05:57,089 --> 00:05:58,156
YOUR JOURNEY."

208
00:05:58,157 --> 00:05:58,790
BUT AS SOON AS HE SAID, "WE USE

209
00:05:58,791 --> 00:05:59,624
JELLY PACKETS TO MARK MOST OF

210
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,259
EVERYTHING"-- I'M OUT.

211
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,527
I DON'T HAVE SPACE IN MY LIFE

212
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,228
FOR JELLY CHOREOGRAPHY.

213
00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:04,862
I CAN'T LEARN THAT CODE, I HAVE

214
00:06:04,863 --> 00:06:06,864
A FAMILY.

215
00:06:06,865 --> 00:06:07,498
"JELLY PACKET DOWN TO THE SOUTH

216
00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:08,333
SCRAMBLED?"

217
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:13,237
WHAT?

218
00:06:13,238 --> 00:06:13,871
AND THEN "IF YOU FLIP THE JELLY

219
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:15,540
UP, IT'S WHITE, NO FLIP IT'S

220
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,374
WHEAT?"

221
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,475
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

222
00:06:17,476 --> 00:06:18,910
ARE YOU FUCKING ME?

223
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,078
I CONSIDER MYSELF A SMART MAN--

224
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,813
THE GLASSES-- BUT THE ONLY

225
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,381
THING HE SAID THAT "KIND" OF

226
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:24,449
MADE SENSE IS THAT BLUE JELLY

227
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:25,383
EQUALS BLUEBERRY.

228
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:26,150
NOW, WOULD I HAVE KNOWN THAT TO

229
00:06:26,151 --> 00:06:29,554
ORDER A BLUEBERRY WAFFLE, YOU

230
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,188
HAVE TO PUT BUTTER ON THE GRILL

231
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,789
LINE RIGHT SIDE UP, BLUE JELLY

232
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:34,926
ON TOP?

233
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,127
NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

234
00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:37,795
NOT AFTER SEVERAL HINTS!

235
00:06:37,796 --> 00:06:39,130
I FEEL LIKE I'M HAVING A

236
00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:40,531
15-YEAR-OLD EXPLAIN EMOJIS TO

237
00:06:40,532 --> 00:06:44,102
ME.

238
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:47,238
"LIPSTICK MEANS THURSDAY, BLONDE

239
00:06:47,239 --> 00:06:50,808
HAIRCUT MEANS IBUPROFEN,

240
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:52,744
BRUNETTE HAIRCUT MEANS PHYSICS

241
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:53,478
HOMEWORK, AND SHRIMP MEANS

242
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,779
HAIRCUT.

243
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:55,847
WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS?"

244
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:56,714
AND IT GETS WORSE, BECAUSE

245
00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:58,249
HERE'S AN OFFICIAL TRAINING

246
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:58,883
VIDEO EXPLAINING HOW TO CONVEY A

247
00:06:58,884 --> 00:06:59,984
SANDWICH ORDER.

248
00:06:59,985 --> 00:07:00,985
HERE, YOU CAN SEE I PUT TWO

249
00:07:00,986 --> 00:07:03,488
PICKLE SLICES IN THE NUMBER

250
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:04,288
THREE POSITION, WHICH TELLS ME

251
00:07:04,289 --> 00:07:05,890
THIS IS A BACON SANDWICH.

252
00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:07,525
IF I ADD A SLICE OF CHEESE TO

253
00:07:07,526 --> 00:07:08,693
THE PLATE, I KNOW THIS IS A

254
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:11,362
BACON CHEESE SANDWICH.

255
00:07:11,363 --> 00:07:11,929
TO MAKE THIS A BACON EGG AND

256
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,232
CHEESE SANDWICH, I'LL ADD THIS

257
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:15,433
RIGHT SIDE UP MAYO PACKET TO THE

258
00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:18,436
RIGHT SIDE OF THE PLATE.

259
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,504
DON'T LET THIS MAYO PACK CONFUSE

260
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,406
YOU.

261
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:22,473
AS LONG AS YOU SEE TWO PICKLES

262
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:23,875
ON THE PLATE, YOU KNOW THIS IS A

263
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,309
SANDWICH.

264
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:29,647
SORRY, BUT IF IT'S COOL

265
00:07:29,648 --> 00:07:30,281
WITH YOU, I AM GOING TO LET THAT

266
00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:34,385
MAYO PACKET CONFUSE ME.

267
00:07:34,386 --> 00:07:36,788
BECAUSE I FEEL INSANE RIGHT NOW.

268
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:37,388
I WAS CONFUSED WHEN YOU SAID

269
00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:38,222
"TWO PICKLE SLICES IN THE NUMBER

270
00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:39,290
THREE POSITION MEANS BACON

271
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:40,324
SANDWICH."

272
00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:40,892
YOU COULD HAVE SAID, "VINCE

273
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,360
VAUGHN AT A CHRISTENING ON

274
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:43,394
FOURTH OF JULY MEANS CHEESE

275
00:07:43,395 --> 00:07:44,028
OMELET" AND IT WOULD'VE HAD THE

276
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,396
SAME EFFECT ON ME.

277
00:07:45,397 --> 00:07:46,030
BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AM

278
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:47,498
I LOOKING AT?

279
00:07:47,499 --> 00:07:48,099
THAT'S A PLATE WITH TWO LOOSE

280
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,267
PICKLE SLICES, A KRAFT SINGLE,

281
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:50,568
AND AN UNOPENED MAYO PACKET.

282
00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:51,803
THAT'S NOT A FORM OF

283
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,136
COMMUNICATION.

284
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:52,804
IT LOOKS LIKE DINNER AT THE FYRE

285
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:58,176
FESTIVAL.

286
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,278
IF YOU WORK AT WAFFLE HOUSE, YOU

287
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:03,448
MIGHT BE A GENIUS!

288
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,550
I THINK A YOUTUBE COMMENTER

289
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,084
"I'M A 911 DISPATCHER.

290
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:07,785
I DEAL WITH GENUINE LIFE OR

291
00:08:07,786 --> 00:08:08,353
DEATH SITUATIONS.

292
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:09,554
I WOULD RATHER TAKE A SHOTS

293
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,022
FIRED CALL THAN ATTEMPT TO

294
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:11,656
UNDERSTAND WHATEVER THE FUCK IS

295
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,790
HAPPENING HERE."

296
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,359
THE POINT IS, IN A WORLD THAT

297
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,761
SEEMS TO BE SPIRALING OUT OF

298
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:17,695
CONTROL, IT SEEMS THERE ARE AT

299
00:08:17,696 --> 00:08:19,097
LEAST A FEW THINGS WE CAN STILL

300
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:21,366
WAFFLE HOUSE WILL STAY

301
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:24,369
OPEN TO A GENUINELY

302
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:25,069
IRRESPONSIBLE EXTENT.

303
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:31,476
JELLY MEANS EGGS.

304
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:32,343
IF YOU PUT A BUTTER CONTAINER

305
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:33,044
DOWN RIGHT-SIDE UP, YOU'RE

306
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,246
GETTING A WAFFLE.

307
00:08:35,247 --> 00:08:35,914
AND THIS SONG.

308
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,081
IS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE YOUR

309
00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:37,615
FUCKING HEAD.

310
00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:42,520
AND, NOW THIS.

311
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,922
AND NOW, LOCAL NEWS TRIES TO

312
00:08:44,923 --> 00:08:47,325
MAKE SENSE OF VANDERBILT FANS

313
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,226
THROWING THEIR GOALPOST INTO A

314
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:48,626
RIVER.

315
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:50,528
THESE FOOTBALL FANS WERE

316
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,263
ACTUALLY HAPPY AS THEY THREW

317
00:08:52,264 --> 00:08:54,666
THEIR OWN FOOTBALL STADIUM'S

318
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,167
GOLD POST INTO THE

319
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,068
CUMBERLAND RIVER.

320
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:58,503
THEY WERE CELEBRATED VANDERBILT

321
00:08:58,504 --> 00:08:59,203
UNIVERSITY'S WOULD MAKE OVER

322
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:00,371
ALABAMA.

323
00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:01,673
SPEAK OF THE STUDENTS MARCHED

324
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,341
SEVERAL MILES AND THEN TOSSED

325
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:04,776
THE GOALPOST INTO THE CUMBERLAND RIVER.

326
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:05,243
WHAT'S?

327
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,478
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DID

328
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,080
THAT, BUT OKAY.

329
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,882
GOALPOST BEING PARADED DOWN

330
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:11,649
BROADWAY.

331
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:12,216
HMM.

332
00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:14,519
YOU KNOW YOU DO?

333
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,420
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THROWING

334
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:18,523
IT IN THE RIVER, BUT OKAY, GOOD

335
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:18,890
FOR THEM.

336
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,859
THAT'S CRAZY, OH, MY

337
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:22,126
GOODNESS.

338
00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:23,327
GOOD TIMES FOR THEM.

339
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:24,362
RIGHT.

340
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:26,631
THIS IS THEFT, DESTRUCTION OF

341
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:27,298
PROPERTY.

342
00:09:27,299 --> 00:09:27,865
...

343
00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:29,033
RIGHT?

344
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:31,302
I DON'T KNOW.

345
00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:31,869
YOU ARE RIGHT.

346
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:32,737
PARADED AROUND IN THE STREET

347
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,505
AND THROW IT IN THE WATERWAY?

348
00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:35,440
HOW MANY LAWS ARE WE BREAKING

349
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:36,274
HERE?

350
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,675
HAVE YOU BEEN TO BROADWAY

351
00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:37,909
BEFORE?

352
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,211
IF YOU GO DOWN THERE AND PEOPLE

353
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,512
ARE EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING,

354
00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:42,480
IT'S NEVER--

355
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:43,381
A FREE-FOR-ALL, JUST DO WHAT

356
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:46,317
I WANT ON BROADWAY?

357
00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:46,918
YES.

358
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:47,652
PEOPLE THROW STUFF IN THE

359
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,054
CUMBERLAND ALL THE TIME.

360
00:09:50,055 --> 00:09:51,289
CHEESEBURGERS, FURNITURE.

361
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,291
I CAN'T.

362
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:55,526
MOVING ON.

363
00:09:55,527 --> 00:09:56,160
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT IS ABOUT

364
00:09:56,161 --> 00:09:57,261
VOTING.

365
00:09:57,262 --> 00:09:58,830
THE ONLY ADULT ENDEAVOR THAT

366
00:09:58,831 --> 00:09:59,263
GIVES OUT STICKERS.

367
00:09:59,264 --> 00:09:59,664
WHICH IS A SHAME.

368
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,033
THERE SHOULD BE MORE OF THEM.

369
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:02,667
"I VOTED" IS NICE, BUT I'D ALSO

370
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:03,534
LIKE "I WENT TO THE DENTIST," OR

371
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:04,469
"I DID MY TAXES," OR "I JOGGED,"

372
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,537
OR "FULL DISCLOSURE, I DIDN'T GO

373
00:10:06,538 --> 00:10:07,872
TO THE DENTIST" I MADE AN

374
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:08,806
APPOINTMENT FOR THE DENTIST, BUT

375
00:10:08,807 --> 00:10:11,843
THAT ISN'T NOTHING."

376
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:12,477
THAT SAID, GETTING A STICKER FOR

377
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:13,378
VOTING IS CERTAINLY WELCOME, AND

378
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,380
AS WE'VE MENTIONED BEFORE, IF

379
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:16,014
YOU LIVE IN MICHIGAN, YOU MIGHT

380
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:23,089
GET A REALLY GOOD ONE THIS YEAR.

381
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,089
12 YEAR OLD JANE HYNOUS IS

382
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,524
THE ARTIST BEHIND THIS CREATION.

383
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:27,458
IT'S ACTUALLY ONE OF NINE

384
00:10:27,459 --> 00:10:28,292
STICKERS THAT MICHIGAN VOTERS

385
00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:28,926
WILL RECEIVE AFTER CASTING THEIR

386
00:10:28,927 --> 00:10:29,594
BALLOTS.

387
00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:30,194
I WANT IT TO BE A SYMBOL OF

388
00:10:30,195 --> 00:10:31,929
POWERFULNESS.

389
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:32,463
I WANT PEOPLE TO BE

390
00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:34,899
PROUD OF IT WHEN THEY'RE VOTING.

391
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,433
WHEN THEY ACTUALLY GET THE

392
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:36,501
STICKER, IT'S LIKE "HEY, I JUST

393
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:37,335
VOTED," AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S

394
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,270
PRETTY ENCOURAGING, I THINK.

395
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,605
YEAH, IT IS!

396
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:47,545
AND THE FOUNDING FATHERS SHOULD

397
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:48,146
FRANKLY BE ASHAMED THEY DIDN'T

398
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,847
COMPLIMENTARY WEREWOLF SWAG.

399
00:10:49,848 --> 00:10:50,448
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK NEARLY

400
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:51,783
250 YEARS FOR A YOUNG MICHIGAN

401
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:52,450
GENIUS TO SOLVE THAT OBVIOUS

402
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:53,885
FLAW IN OUR DEMOCRACY.

403
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:54,485
THIS ELECTION IS INEXPLICABLY

404
00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:55,653
CLOSE.

405
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:56,220
THE AVERAGE OF POLLS IN THE

406
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:58,089
SEVEN KEY BATTLEGROUND STATES

407
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,057
ALL SHOW THE CANDIDATES WITHIN

408
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,792
ONE OR TWO POINTS.

409
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:01,426
AND IF YOU HEARD THAT AND DIDN'T

410
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,560
SHIT YOURSELF, CONGRATULATIONS,

411
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,262
YOU JUST EARNED A STICKER FOR

412
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:08,700
THAT.

413
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:11,402
CLEARLY WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S

414
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:12,203
AHEAD ON ELECTION NIGHT, THOUGH

415
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:12,837
I CAN CONFIDENTLY PREDICT A FEW

416
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,273
THINGS.

417
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,307
A LITTLE KHAKI NERD ARMED

418
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,208
WITH A TOUCHSCREEN WILL INSPIRE

419
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:17,842
SOME OF THE MOST DEPRAVED THIRST

420
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,977
TWEETS THE INTERNET'S EVER SEEN.

421
00:11:19,978 --> 00:11:20,511
SECOND, REGARDLESS OF THE

422
00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:22,280
RESULTS, NATE SILVER WILL TWEET

423
00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:23,481
"ACTUALLY, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT

424
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,115
I SAID COULD HAPPEN" IN A HEATED

425
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,150
ARGUMENT WITH A 14-YEAR-OLD WITH

426
00:11:26,151 --> 00:11:27,652
A SPONGEBOB AVATAR WHO ONLY

427
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:28,853
TWEETS "NATE SILVER PEES UPSIDE

428
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,588
DOWN."

429
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:31,222
IF TRUMP LOSES, HE

430
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,691
WILL NOT CONCEDE GRACEFULLY.

431
00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:34,292
HE'S ALREADY SAID HE'LL ONLY

432
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:35,560
ACCEPT THE RESULTS "IF IT'S A

433
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:36,060
FAIR AND LEGAL AND GOOD

434
00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:38,162
ELECTION."

435
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:38,696
AND HE'S BEEN LAYING THE

436
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,531
GROUNDWORK TO CRY FOUL IF HE

437
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:42,834
LOSES.

438
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:43,468
THE ONLY THING THEY DO WELL,

439
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:43,901
THEY CHEAT.

440
00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:45,169
THEIR POLICIES ARE NO GOOD.

441
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:46,571
THEIR GOVERNMENT IS NO GOOD.

442
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,205
THEIR MANAGEMENT IS NO GOOD, BUT

443
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,239
THEY CHEAT LIKE NOBODY CAN

444
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,173
CHEAT.

445
00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:49,974
THEY CHEAT.

446
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:50,908
THEY CHEATED IN THE LAST

447
00:11:50,909 --> 00:11:52,510
ELECTION AND THEY'RE GONNA CHEAT

448
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:55,246
IN THIS ELECTION.

449
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:55,747
IF WE CAN KEEP THE

450
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:58,316
CHEATING DOWN TO A MINIMUM,

451
00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,417
BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE CHEAT -

452
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:02,020
THEY CHEAT LIKE HELL.

453
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:03,421
IF WE CAN KEEP IT DOWN TO A

454
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:08,292
MINIMUM, WE WIN EASILY.

455
00:12:08,293 --> 00:12:08,926
WE HAVE TO VOTE, AND WE HAVE TO

456
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,361
MAKE SURE THAT WE STOP THEM FROM

457
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:10,928
CHEATING, BECAUSE THEY CHEAT

458
00:12:10,929 --> 00:12:13,531
LIKE DOGS.

459
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:14,132
LOOK: I GET HE'S JUST

460
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:14,766
TRYING TO RILE UP HIS BASE, BUT

461
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:15,366
I WON'T SIT IDLY BY WHILE HE

462
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:17,268
SLANDERS DOGS.

463
00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:18,903
HEY, DOGS: LOOK AT ME.

464
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:19,337
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

465
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:19,737
YOU ARE SPECIAL.

466
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:20,338
YOU MATTER.

467
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:21,105
AS FOR CATS?

468
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:23,441
YOU DON'T NEED MY VALIDATION,

469
00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:30,517
AND YOU KNOW IT.

470
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:36,187
TRUMP AND HIS CAMPAIGN HAVE

471
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:37,722
CO-OPTED THE PHRASE "ELECTION

472
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:38,356
INTERFERENCE" TO REFER TO PRETTY

473
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:39,257
FROM THE MULTIPLE

474
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:39,891
INDICTMENTS AGAINST HIM, TO THE

475
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:41,392
FED'S RECENT DECISION TO CUT

476
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:41,993
INTEREST RATES, WITH TRUMP AT

477
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,262
ONE POINT EVEN POSTING "ELECTION

478
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,963
INTERFERENCE, NEVER SURRENDER!"

479
00:12:45,964 --> 00:12:46,431
WITH HIS OWN MUGSHOT.

480
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,031
AND FOR THE RECORD, THAT'S A

481
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:47,598
TERRIBLE MUGSHOT.

482
00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:48,366
JOHNNY CASH?

483
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:49,000
LAID-BACK,

484
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:49,667
COOL.

485
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,134
FRANK SINATRA?

486
00:12:50,135 --> 00:12:50,735
MY MY MY, THAT GUY FUCKS, AM I

487
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,470
RIGHT, RONAN?

488
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,037
TRUMP'S, ON THE OTHER HAND,

489
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,305
LOOKS LIKE THE PHOTOGRAPHER

490
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:54,939
ASKED HIM IF HE COULD SHIT FROM

491
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,573
STANDING.

492
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:56,274
THE POINT IS, WE NEED BE READY

493
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,742
FOR THE POSSIBILITY THE MESS

494
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,143
THAT HAPPENED LAST TIME COULD

495
00:12:59,144 --> 00:13:00,478
HAPPEN AGAIN.

496
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,112
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE TRUMP HASN'T

497
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,914
FACED ANY REAL CONSEQUENCES FOR

498
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,450
IT, EVEN BRAGGING HE'S BECOME

499
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,184
MORE POPULAR IN THE WAKE OF HIS

500
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,585
INDICTMENT.

501
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:10,988
IT'S SO CRAZY THAT MY POLL

502
00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:12,590
NUMBERS GO UP.

503
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,426
WHOEVER HEARD, YOU GET INDICTED

504
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:17,862
FOR INTERFERING WITH A

505
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,364
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WHERE

506
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,399
YOU'RE-- HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DO

507
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,601
IT, YOU GET INDICTED, AND YOUR

508
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:24,535
POLL NUMBERS GO UP.

509
00:13:24,536 --> 00:13:25,436
YEAH, IT IS FUCKING

510
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:27,238
CRAZY!

511
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,006
WHEN THE WATERGATE TAPES CAME

512
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:29,507
OUT, NIXON HAD TO RESIGN IN

513
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,210
DISGRACE.

514
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:32,744
IF IT HAPPENED TODAY, HE'D

515
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:33,578
PROBABLY BE ABLE TO RELEASE THEM

516
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:39,050
ALL AS AN AUDIOBOOK AND WIN A

517
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:39,584
GRAMMY.

518
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:43,955
BUT IT'S MORE THAN JUST TALK.

519
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:44,789
TRUMP AND HIS SUPPORTERS HAVE

520
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:45,423
TAKEN ACTIVE STEPS TO UNDERMINE

521
00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:46,758
THE UPCOMING ELECTION.

522
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:47,458
AND GIVEN IT'S NOW JUST OVER

523
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:48,726
THREE WEEKS AWAY, LET'S TALK

524
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:49,360
ABOUT SOME OF THE ATTEMPTS

525
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:50,928
THEY'VE MADE TO SUBVERT THIS

526
00:13:50,929 --> 00:13:51,829
ELECTION.

527
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:52,864
AND WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON A

528
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:53,831
THE LIES THEY'VE TOLD

529
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,667
TO UNDERMINE CONFIDENCE IN THE

530
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,300
PROCESS, THE STEPS THEY'VE TAKEN

531
00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:58,836
TO SOW CHAOS IN THE VOTER ROLLS,

532
00:13:58,837 --> 00:13:59,604
AND THE GROUNDWORK THEY'VE LAID

533
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:00,772
TO TURN THE POST-ELECTION PERIOD

534
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,572
INTO A NIGHTMARE.

535
00:14:01,573 --> 00:14:02,140
AND LET'S START BY BRIEFLY

536
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,574
REVISITING WHAT HAPPENED LAST

537
00:14:03,575 --> 00:14:04,909
TIME.

538
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:05,677
BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY REMEMBER

539
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,478
THE BIGGEST HEADLINES-- TRUMP

540
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:08,012
REFUSING TO CONCEDE WHICH

541
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:08,646
ULTIMATELY LED TO JANUARY 6th--

542
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:11,282
BUT SO MUCH OTHER WEIRD SHIT

543
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:14,052
HAPPENED YOU MAY'VE BLOCKED OUT.

544
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:14,686
LIKE WHEN GIULIANI INSISTED WILL

545
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,488
SMITH'S LATE FATHER HAD VOTED,

546
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:18,089
OR WHEN THE THEORY SPREAD THAT

547
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:20,458
AN ITALIAN DEFENSE CONTRACTOR

548
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:21,492
WORKED WITH U.S. INTELLIGENCE TO

549
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:22,326
RIG THE ELECTION, OR WHEN A

550
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:23,661
GROUP CALLED "CYBER NINJAS,"

551
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,463
AUDITED THE BALLOTS IN ARIZONA

552
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:26,998
- AND AS THIS OUTSIDE OBSERVER

553
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:27,799
NOTED, THEY WERE LOOKING FOR THE

554
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:32,136
WEIRDEST POSSIBLE SMOKING GUN.

555
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:32,704
THERE'S ACCUSATIONS THAT

556
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:36,274
40,000 BALLOTS WERE FLOWN IN.

557
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:36,607
TO ARIZONA?

558
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:38,276
TO ARIZONA, AND IT WAS

559
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,212
STUFFED INTO THE BOX.

560
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:41,412
OKAY?

561
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:42,647
AND IT CAME FROM THE SOUTHEAST

562
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:44,282
PART OF THE WORLD, ASIA.

563
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:45,350
OKAY?

564
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:45,983
AND - AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS

565
00:14:45,984 --> 00:14:47,685
TO FIND OUT IF THERE'S BAMBOO IN

566
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:50,388
THE PAPER.

567
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,290
YEAH-- "CYBER NINJAS"

568
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:56,027
TRIED TO PROVE FOREIGN

569
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,028
INTERFERENCE BY LOOKING FOR

570
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,963
BAMBOO IN THE BALLOT PAPER,

571
00:14:58,964 --> 00:14:59,597
WHICH FEELS LIKE THE PLOT OF A

572
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:01,099
RACIST STRAIGHT-TO-STREAMING

573
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:01,733
POLITICAL THRILLER WHERE STEVEN

574
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,600
SEAGAL SAVES PRESIDENT JAMES

575
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,136
WOODS FROM WOKENESS.

576
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:06,738
THE LAST ELECTION WAS INCREDIBLY

577
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,372
DUMB, BUT LET'S NOT FORGET: IT

578
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,674
WAS ALSO INCREDIBLY STUPID.

579
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,641
AND ALL THIS HAPPENED DESPITE A

580
00:15:10,642 --> 00:15:13,277
JOINT STATEMENT FROM FEDERAL

581
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:13,778
ELECTION INFRASTRUCTURE

582
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,013
OFFICIALS, CALLING IT THE MOST

583
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:15,580
SECURE ELECTION IN AMERICAN

584
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,948
HISTORY.

585
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:19,017
NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS, THERE'VE

586
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:19,851
BEEN SOME POSITIVE DEVELOPMENTS

587
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,386
SINCE THEN.

588
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,388
CONGRESS PASSED THIS ACT WHICH,

589
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:24,555
AMONG OTHER THINGS, EXPLICITLY

590
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:25,656
PREVENTS A VICE PRESIDENT FROM

591
00:15:25,657 --> 00:15:27,358
JUST THROWING OUT VOTES THEY

592
00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:27,959
DON'T LIKE, AS TRUMP FAMOUSLY

593
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,627
URGED PENCE TO DO.

594
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,996
ALSO, TRUMP'S NOT AN INCUMBENT

595
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:32,663
THIS TIME, SO HE CAN'T DO THINGS

596
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:35,400
LIKE PRESSURE THE DOJ TO

597
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,467
LEGITIMIZE CLAIMS OF FRAUD.

598
00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:37,835
AND FINALLY, THE ELECTION

599
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,103
DENIERS WHO RAN TO BE THE CHIEF

600
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,672
ELECTION OFFICERS IN SWING

601
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,408
STATES IN 2022 ALL LOST.

602
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:46,177
THAT'S GREAT!

603
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:48,012
UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S ALSO

604
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:48,613
BASICALLY THE END OF THE GOOD

605
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,915
NEWS HERE.

606
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:51,482
BECAUSE THE FALSE CLAIMS OF

607
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,450
ELECTION FRAUD HAVE STUCK.

608
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,118
A POLL IN JANUARY FOUND MORE

609
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,386
THAN ONE-THIRD OF AMERICANS

610
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:55,953
STILL DO NOT ACCEPT BIDEN'S

611
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:59,791
VICTORY AS LEGITIMATE.

612
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,858
AND TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES HAVE

613
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:02,193
BEEN RAMPING UP THEIR LIES AS

614
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:03,061
ELECTION DAY APPROACHES.

615
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,362
AND I WANT TO FOCUS ON ONE IN

616
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:05,563
THE CLAIM THAT A LOT

617
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:06,197
OF NON-CITIZENS ARE GOING TO BE

618
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,700
VOTING.

619
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,702
THAT CLAIM'S NOTHING NEW FOR

620
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:11,302
TRUMP, OR INDEED REPUBLICANS,

621
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:11,903
BUT HE'S NOW PUSHING IT LIKE

622
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:18,978
NEVER BEFORE.

623
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,212
RIGHT NOW, YOU HAVE ILLEGAL

624
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,280
ALIENS COMING INTO OUR COUNTRY,

625
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:23,147
MANY FROM PRISONS AND MANY FROM

626
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,716
MENTAL INSTITUTIONS, AND THEY

627
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,950
WANT TO GIVE THEM VOTES.

628
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,385
A LOT OF THESE ILLEGAL

629
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:27,985
IMMIGRANTS COMING IN, THEY'RE

630
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:28,553
TRYING TO GET THEM TO VOTE.

631
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,054
THEY CAN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH,

632
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:34,292
THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT

633
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,059
COUNTRY THEY'RE IN, PRACTICALLY,

634
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:35,927
AND THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO

635
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,295
GET THEM TO VOTE.

636
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:37,895
THEY ARE WORKING FULL TIME TO

637
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:38,996
SIGN THESE PEOPLE-- MANY OF

638
00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:39,564
THEM MURDERERS-- TO VOTE SO

639
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,333
THEY CAN CHEAT ON THE ELECTION.

640
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:42,967
SKIPPING THE FACT THAT

641
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:44,936
THIS THEORY'S CAKED IN RACISM;

642
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:48,339
HOW DOES IT EVEN MAKE SENSE?

643
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,474
YOU REALLY THINK PEOPLE WOULD

644
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:50,341
FLEE THEIR HOMES, TRAVEL UNDER

645
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,543
DANGEROUS CONDITIONS TO ENTER

646
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,879
THIS COUNTRY, JUST TO VOTE?

647
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:55,546
IT'S LIKE ASSUMING SOMEONE WOULD

648
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:56,547
BREAK INTO A BANK JUST SO THEY

649
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:57,582
COULD FREE THE PENS FROM THEIR

650
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,083
CHAINS.

651
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,686
WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

652
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,155
IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK!

653
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,491
BUT TRUMP'S NOT ALONE IN PUSHING

654
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,658
THIS CLAIM.

655
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:08,326
HE HAS SUPPORT FROM CONSERVATIVE

656
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,293
THINK TANKS LIKE THE HERITAGE

657
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,128
THE SAME GROUP THAT

658
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:11,763
BROUGHT YOU "PROJECT 2025,"

659
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:12,363
WHICH STARTED SOMETHING CALLED

660
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,633
"THE OVERSIGHT PROJECT."

661
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:16,267
THIS SUMMER, THEY RELEASED THIS

662
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:16,868
VIDEO, WHICH GOT A LOT OF PLAY

663
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,737
IN RIGHT-WING CIRCLES.

664
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:20,371
THE APARTMENT COMPLEX "ELIOT

665
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:24,842
NORCROSS" IN NORCROSS, GEORGIA

666
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:25,443
IS OCCUPIED PRIMARILY BY

667
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,645
NONCITIZENS.

668
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:28,246
WE VISITED THE COMPLEX TO ASK

669
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,347
"ARE

670
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,349
YOU A CITIZEN?"

671
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:31,883
AND "ARE YOU REGISTERED TO

672
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,351
VOTE?"

673
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:33,951
SHOCKINGLY, 14% OF RESPONDENTS

674
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:36,754
ADMITTED TO BEING NONCITIZENS

675
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:38,523
REGISTERED TO VOTE.

676
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:39,123
WE COME FROM A COMPANY THAT

677
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,725
IS DEDICATED TO REGISTERING

678
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,359
HISPANIC PEOPLE SO THEY CAN VOTE

679
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,661
IN UPCOMING ELECTIONS.

680
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,262
ARE YOU ALREADY REGISTERED?

681
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,129
WE ALREADY VOTED.

682
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,664
YOU ALREADY VOTED?

683
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:46,898
YES.

684
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,167
ARE YOU A CITIZEN OR•

685
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:49,934
UH, NO.

686
00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:51,202
NO?

687
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:51,703
HAVE YOU ALREADY BEEN

688
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,804
REGISTERED OR•

689
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:53,204
YEAH.

690
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,605
YEAH?

691
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:55,807
ARE YOU A CITIZEN OR•

692
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,609
NO.

693
00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:58,810
NO?

694
00:17:58,811 --> 00:17:59,444
THAT VIDEO GOT BOOSTED

695
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:00,712
BY ELON MUSK, WHO CALLED IT

696
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,480
"EXTREMELY DISTURBING," AND IT

697
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,549
WENT VIRAL, DESPITE THE FACT THE

698
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:05,850
OVERSIGHT PROJECT ITSELF

699
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,418
ADMITTED IT WAS UNABLE TO FIND

700
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,586
THE PEOPLE THEY TALKED TO ON THE

701
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,189
STATE VOTER ROLLS.

702
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,223
AND STATE INVESTIGATORS FOUND NO

703
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,091
EVIDENCE THAT ANY OF THE SEVEN

704
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,126
PEOPLE ON THAT TAPE HAD EVER

705
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,494
REGISTERED TO VOTE.

706
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:17,628
MEANWHILE, ONE OF THE WOMEN

707
00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:19,397
FEATURED CONFIRMED SHE WASN'T

708
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,698
REGISTERED TO VOTE, AND ONLY

709
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:21,299
SAID SHE WAS BECAUSE SHE JUST

710
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,735
WANTED THEM TO GO AWAY.

711
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,237
AND NO SHIT.

712
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:29,140
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

713
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:30,141
IT COULD BE ME COMING FROM THE

714
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,809
FUTURE WITH A DIRE NECESSARY

715
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,378
I'M NOT LISTENING, I'M

716
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,179
JUST NODDING, AND I'M SLOWLY

717
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,514
CLOSING THE DOOR AS WE'RE

718
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:37,982
TALKING.

719
00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:39,384
AND YET THEY CLAIMED THAT, IF

720
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,119
THE 14% HIT RATE THEY'D FOUND

721
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,022
HELD TRUE STATE WIDE, IT'D

722
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:44,489
EQUATE TO OVER 47,000

723
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,958
NON-CITIZENS REGISTERED TO VOTE

724
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:53,598
IN GEORGIA.

725
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:54,866
AND LOOK, OBVIOUSLY THE IDEA

726
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:55,333
THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF

727
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:55,800
NON-CITIZENS VOTING IS

728
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,803
RIDICULOUS.

729
00:18:58,804 --> 00:18:59,370
FOR ONE THING, WHEN GEORGIA

730
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:00,104
LOOKED BACK OVER 25 YEARS OF ITS

731
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:01,606
ELECTIONS, IT FOUND THAT OF THE

732
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:02,173
1,600 PEOPLE WHO'D TRIED TO

733
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,374
REGISTER TO VOTE, AND WHOSE

734
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:03,875
CITIZENSHIP COULD NOT BE

735
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:04,676
VERIFIED, NONE OF THEM HAD CAST

736
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:05,710
BALLOTS.

737
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:06,210
PLUS, AN ANALYSIS OF THE

738
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,712
HERITAGE FOUNDATION'S OWN

739
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:08,913
NATIONWIDE DATABASE OF 1,500

740
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,048
"PROVEN INSTANCES OF VOTER

741
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,750
FRAUD" FOUND JUST 68 DOCUMENTED

742
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:14,185
CASES OF NONCITIZENS' VOTING,

743
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,787
GOING ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE

744
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,189
1980S, WITH JUST 10 INVOLVING

745
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,624
PEOPLE LIVING IN THE COUNTRY

746
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,926
ILLEGALLY.

747
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:22,493
10 PEOPLE IN THE LAST FOUR

748
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,095
DECADES.

749
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,464
THAT'S STATISTICALLY NOTHING.

750
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,165
MORE PEOPLE DIE FROM HIPPO

751
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,268
ATTACKS EVERY YEAR.

752
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:31,736
JUST SOMETHING FUN TO THINK

753
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:32,337
ABOUT NEXT TIME YOU'RE FAWNING

754
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,538
OVER PICTURES OF MOO DENG.

755
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:36,307
SHE COULD KILL YOU.

756
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:36,874
SHE WOULD KILL YOU.

757
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,010
AND HAPPILY.

758
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,211
AND THAT VIDEO ISN'T EVEN THE

759
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,713
WEIRDEST LIE ABOUT NON-CITIZENS

760
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,715
THAT'S BEEN PASSED AROUND.

761
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:44,282
MARIA BARTIROMO SPREAD THIS

762
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:45,516
DOOZY.

763
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,584
WHAT ABOUT ALL THESE

764
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:49,454
IMMIGRANTS AT THESE DMV OFFICES

765
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,356
WHERE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TRY TO

766
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,990
GO GET A LICENSE?

767
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:53,624
THEY CAN'T GET AN APPOINTMENT AT

768
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,660
THE DMV, BECAUSE IT'S JAM PACKED

769
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:56,928
WITH ILLEGALS.

770
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,297
THE PERSON THAT SPOKE TO ME

771
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,665
ABOUT THIS THIS WEEKEND

772
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,967
IDENTIFIED SEVERAL PLACES IN

773
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,202
TEXAS WHERE HE COULDN'T GET IN.

774
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,570
THE FIRST ONE WAS IN

775
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:07,638
A MASSIVE LINE OF

776
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:09,340
IMMIGRANTS GETTING LICENSES.

777
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:10,441
THEY HAD A TENT AND A TABLE

778
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:11,142
OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR OF THE

779
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,978
DMV REGISTERING THEM TO VOTE.

780
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:14,612
IT WAS ALL-- THE SIGNS WERE IN

781
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:15,913
SPANISH.

782
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:16,647
IT WAS AN OBVIOUS DEMOCRAT

783
00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:18,549
OPERATION ON THIS VOTING, HE

784
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,650
SAID.

785
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:20,251
OKAY, WE'LL GET INTO

786
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,619
WHY THAT'S NONSENSE IN A SECOND,

787
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,354
BUT I'M GENUINELY CURIOUS ABOUT

788
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:24,522
THE PERSON WHO SAW A MASSIVE

789
00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:27,058
LINE AT THE DMV AND THEIR

790
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,526
INSTINCT WAS "THIS MUST BE

791
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:29,594
'ILLEGALS' REGISTERING TO VOTE"

792
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,429
AND NOT "THE DMV FUNCTIONING

793
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,030
LIKE IT HAS SINCE THE DAWN OF

794
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,231
TIME."

795
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:33,898
DO THEY BLAME ALL COMMON

796
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,634
INCONVENIENCES ON IMMIGRATION?

797
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,235
"SHIT, BURNED MY MOUTH ON THIS

798
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,302
COFFEE.

799
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,304
THE ILLEGALS MUST BE BREWING IT

800
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,673
EXTRA HOT TO BURN OUR TONGUES

801
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:45,076
INTO SILENCE!"

802
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,978
AND WHILE YOU MIGHT

803
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:47,612
INSTINCTIVELY KNOW THAT CLAIM IS

804
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:48,613
BULLSHIT, IT'S EVEN DUMBER THAN

805
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:49,781
YOU THINK, AS BARTIROMO

806
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,349
EXPLAINED HER SOURCE WAS "A

807
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:54,519
FRIEND OF A FRIEND'S WIFE."

808
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,486
SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T STOP HER

809
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,488
HAPPILY REGURGITATING IT ON THE

810
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:58,623
NEWS.

811
00:20:58,624 --> 00:20:59,223
AND IF YOU LIKE THAT, YOU CAN

812
00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:02,627
FIND WELL-SOURCED STORIES LIKE

813
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:03,227
IT ON "FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD

814
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:04,595
FORWARD WITH YOUR DRUNKEST

815
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,098
AUNT," SUNDAYS AT 10:00 ON FOX

816
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:07,465
BUSINESS.

817
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:08,066
UNSURPRISINGLY, THOSE CLAIMS

818
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,167
WERE QUICKLY DEBUNKED.

819
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,302
FOR ONE THING, WEATHERFORD,

820
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:12,036
TEXAS, DOESN'T HAVE A DMV.

821
00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:12,637
AND IN THE PLACE YOU CAN GET A

822
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,372
DRIVERS' LICENSE-- THE

823
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,607
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY--

824
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,275
NO SUCH TENTS OR TABLES WERE SET

825
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,543
UP OUTSIDE THE OFFICE ALL THAT

826
00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:20,211
WEEK.

827
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,412
AND, EVEN IF THIS HAD HAPPENED

828
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:22,914
- WHICH IT DIDN'T-- AS THE

829
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:23,915
LOCAL GOP CHAIR EXPLAINED, ALL

830
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,317
VOTER REGISTRATIONS ARE UPLOADED

831
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:27,251
TO THE TEXAS SECRETARY OF

832
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,053
STATE'S DATABASE TO VERIFY

833
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,189
APPLICANTS' ELIGIBILITY TO VOTE,

834
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,623
INCLUDING CITIZENSHIP, AND NOT

835
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,158
ONLY HAD THERE BEEN NO RECENT

836
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:36,461
INSTANCES OF INELIGIBLE

837
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:36,994
INDIVIDUALS ATTEMPTING TO

838
00:21:36,995 --> 00:21:39,130
THERE

839
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:39,897
HAD ONLY BEEN TWO IN THE LAST 15

840
00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:43,001
YEARS.

841
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:44,302
AND YET, JUST TWO DAYS AFTER

842
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,504
BARTIROMO SPEWED THAT ON

843
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:47,305
NATIONAL TV, TEXAS AG KEN PAXTON

844
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,474
ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION INTO

845
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,708
"REPORTS THAT ORGANIZATIONS MAY

846
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:52,510
BE ILLEGALLY REGISTERING

847
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:53,978
NONCITIZENS TO VOTE."

848
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,079
AND THAT'S ACTUALLY A PATTERN

849
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,016
FOR PAXTON.

850
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:58,616
HE'LL LOUDLY START VOTER FRAUD

851
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,885
INVESTIGATIONS, AND EVEN WHEN

852
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,187
THEY AMOUNT TO NOTHING, HE'LL

853
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:04,489
HAVE CREATED THE IMPRESSION

854
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,890
SOMETHING'S THERE.

855
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:06,524
IN FACT, THE SAME DAY HE

856
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:13,600
ANNOUNCED HE WAS LOOKING INTO

857
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,569
BARTIROMO'S CLAIMS, HIS OFFICE

858
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:19,704
ANNOUNCED A SEPARATE

859
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:20,805
INVESTIGATION INTO ALLEGATIONS

860
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:21,873
OF ELECTION FRAUD AND VOTE

861
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:23,374
HARVESTING TARGETING MEMBERS OF

862
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:24,008
LULAC-- THE NATION'S OLDEST AND

863
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,009
LARGEST LATINO CIVIL RIGHTS

864
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:25,643
ORGANIZATION.

865
00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:27,245
SOME OF ITS MEMBERS-- LIKE THIS

866
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:28,146
WOMAN-- WERE EVEN SUBJECTS OF

867
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,113
AN EARLY-MORNING RAID.

868
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:29,714
THEY SCARED THE HELL OUT OF

869
00:22:29,715 --> 00:22:30,915
ME.

870
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:31,983
87-YEAR-OLD LIDIA MARTINEZ,

871
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:32,483
WHO SAYS SHE IS LULAC'S

872
00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:33,718
LONGEST-SERVING VOLUNTEER, HAD

873
00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:34,719
HER HOME RAIDED AS PART OF A

874
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,687
VOTER FRAUD INVESTIGATION BY THE

875
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:38,389
TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL.

876
00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:39,123
MARTINEZ SAYS UP TO EIGHT

877
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:40,158
OFFICERS SHOWED UP AT HER HOME

878
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,659
LAST TUESDAY MORNING.

879
00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,027
THEY TOOK HER PHONE, HER LAPTOP,

880
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,762
QUESTIONED HER FOR HOURS, AND

881
00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:47,432
MADE HER WAIT OUTSIDE.

882
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:48,366
I SAID, "LET ME GET DRESSED,"

883
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,201
AND SHE SAYS, "NO, GO OUTSIDE."

884
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:52,136
WHAT WERE YOU WEARING?

885
00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:53,571
MY NIGHTGOWN, AND I HAD ALL

886
00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:55,973
THESE POLICEMEN AROUND ME.

887
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:56,874
IT WAS EMBARRASSING,

888
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,243
HUMILIATING.

889
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:00,545
I WAS SO ANGRY.

890
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:02,146
IT WAS HORRIBLE.

891
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:03,581
YEAH, THEY HAULED AN

892
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:05,116
87-YEAR-OLD GREAT-GRANDMOTHER

893
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,084
OUT OF HER HOME IN HER

894
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:12,657
NIGHTGOWN, WHICH IS APPALLING.

895
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:13,358
PAXTON SHOULD KNOW, AS WE ALL

896
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,592
DO, A NIGHTGOWN IS ONE OF THE

897
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:15,727
WORST THINGS TO HAUL A GRANDMA

898
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:20,231
OUT IN, RIGHT AFTER, WELL

899
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:20,865
OBVIOUSLY, COFFIN-- DUH-- BUT

900
00:23:20,866 --> 00:23:22,433
THEN THERE'S A UHAUL, AN

901
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:23,368
ANACONDA, AND FINALLY A NOVELTY

902
00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:24,702
T-SHIRT READING "I SHAVED MY

903
00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:29,073
BALLS FOR THIS."

904
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,609
I THINK THAT'S THE WORST ONE.

905
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:32,744
AND WHILE, THANKFULLY, A FEDERAL

906
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,544
JUDGE RECENTLY SHUT DOWN THAT

907
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:35,113
INVESTIGATION, SAYING IT WAS

908
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:36,347
UNCONSTITUTIONAL, THE FACT IS

909
00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:36,981
LIES AND BULLSHIT INVESTIGATIONS

910
00:23:36,982 --> 00:23:38,983
HAVE REAL CONSEQUENCES.

911
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:40,685
51% OF ADULTS ARE APPARENTLY

912
00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:41,285
CONCERNED ABOUT NON-CITIZENS

913
00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:42,286
VOTING IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION,

914
00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:45,456
INCLUDING 83% OF REPUBLICANS.

915
00:23:45,457 --> 00:23:47,625
AND SOME AREN'T WAITING FOR THE

916
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:48,760
KEN PAXTONS OF THE WORLD TO TAKE

917
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,228
ACTION.

918
00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:52,130
WHICH BRINGS US TO THE FACT

919
00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:52,930
THERE ARE NOW WELL-FUNDED GROUPS

920
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:53,765
ACTIVELY TRYING TO, IN THEIR

921
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:54,832
WORDS, "CLEAN UP" THE VOTER

922
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:57,001
ROLLS.

923
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:57,635
HERE'S THE HEAD OF ONE OF THEM,

924
00:23:57,636 --> 00:24:01,639
"THE ELECTION INTEGRITY

925
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:02,273
NETWORK," EXPLAINING THE GENERAL

926
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,141
IDEA

927
00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:03,775
I REALIZED THAT WE NEEDED TO

928
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,476
FOCUS ON THIS THREAT OF ILLEGALS

929
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:07,745
VOTING IN NOVEMBER, BECAUSE I

930
00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:08,980
ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE THAT THAT IS

931
00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:10,214
HOW THEY ARE PLANNING TO TRY TO

932
00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:12,750
STEAL THE ELECTION THIS YEAR.

933
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:14,085
THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GOING TO--

934
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:16,988
WE'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO STOP

935
00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:17,922
THIS IS BY HAVING CITIZEN

936
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:18,489
ACTION, LOOKING AT THE DMVS,

937
00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:21,259
LOOKING AT THE VOTER ROLLS IN

938
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:21,826
YOUR COUNTY, LOOKING AT THE

939
00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:23,728
VOTER ROLLS, WATCHING AND

940
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:24,729
BASICALLY CREATING A NATIONAL

941
00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:25,296
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH TO TRY TO

942
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,298
FIND THESE POCKETS OF

943
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:31,936
NONCITIZENS THAT ARE GETTING

944
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:32,470
ADDED TO THE ROLLS.

945
00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:33,604
OKAY.

946
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:35,073
FIRST, LET'S AGREE, EVERY

947
00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:35,707
"RUMBLE" SHOW LOOKS LIKE A HIGH

948
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,075
SCHOOL A/V CLUB MEMBER

949
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,343
INTERVIEWING THE ASSISTANT

950
00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:39,844
PRINCIPAL AFTER A SCHOOL-WIDE

951
00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:40,845
HEELIES BAN.

952
00:24:40,846 --> 00:24:41,512
BUT ALSO-- "A NATIONAL

953
00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:42,647
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH?"

954
00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:43,247
IT'S NOT GREAT THE MODEL THEY

955
00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:44,349
WANT TO EMULATE IS BASICALLY

956
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:45,183
"WHAT IF RACIAL PROFILING WAS

957
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,352
SOMEONE'S HOBBY?"

958
00:24:47,353 --> 00:24:48,319
THAT WOMAN IS A CONSERVATIVE

959
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,087
ACTIVIST NAMED CLETA MITCHELL,

960
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:50,054
AND FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS,

961
00:24:50,055 --> 00:24:51,155
MEMBERS OF HER GROUP HAVE, AMONG

962
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,590
OTHER THINGS, BEEN SCRUTINIZING

963
00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:53,424
VOTER ROLLS, LOOKING FOR ANYONE

964
00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:55,093
THEY THINK SHOULDN'T BE ON

965
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:55,560
THERE.

966
00:24:55,561 --> 00:24:56,294
AND THEY HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN SHY

967
00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:57,962
ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

968
00:24:57,963 --> 00:24:58,996
IN ONE ZOOM SESSION, AN ACTIVIST

969
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,798
FROM THE DETROIT AREA SUGGESTED

970
00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:02,000
SEARCHING ROLLS FOR CERTAIN

971
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,735
TYPES OF SURNAMES, SAYING THAT

972
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:04,736
"I THINK IT'S UNFORTUNATE, BUT

973
00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,070
SOMETIMES THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN

974
00:25:06,071 --> 00:25:06,904
FIND OUT IS TO LOOK FOR ETHNIC

975
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,173
NAMES."

976
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:09,941
AND THANK GOODNESS THEY PREFACED

977
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:11,476
THAT WITH "I THINK IT'S

978
00:25:11,477 --> 00:25:13,611
UNFORTUNATE."

979
00:25:13,612 --> 00:25:15,513
FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT THAT

980
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,347
INSTRUCTION TO DO RACISM WAS

981
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,983
COMING FROM A BAD PERSON.

982
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:22,720
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE.

983
00:25:22,721 --> 00:25:23,421
GROUPS LIKE MITCHELL'S ARE NOW

984
00:25:23,422 --> 00:25:24,756
WORKING WITH COMPUTER PROGRAMS

985
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:26,057
LIKE THESE, THAT AUTOMATE THE

986
00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:27,558
PROCESS OF FINDING VOTERS TO

987
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:27,825
CHALLENGE.

988
00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:28,893
FOR INSTANCE, THIS ONE TRAWLS

989
00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:30,528
THROUGH EVERYTHING FROM PUBLIC

990
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:31,596
VOTER REGISTRATION DATA, TO

991
00:25:31,597 --> 00:25:32,430
BUSINESS RECORDS, TO

992
00:25:32,431 --> 00:25:35,299
CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS DATABASES, TO

993
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:36,567
OBITUARIES TO FIND PEOPLE TO

994
00:25:36,568 --> 00:25:37,435
CHALLENGE, BECAUSE THEY MAY'VE

995
00:25:37,436 --> 00:25:38,369
DIED, MOVED, OR BE OTHERWISE

996
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,438
INELIGIBLE.

997
00:25:40,439 --> 00:25:41,072
USERS CAN THEN MAKE POTENTIALLY

998
00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:43,775
THOUSANDS OF CHALLENGES TO VOTER

999
00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:45,176
ELIGIBILITY WITH A FEW CLICKS,

1000
00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:47,478
AND SEND THEM TO LOCAL ELECTION

1001
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:48,181
OFFICIALS.

1002
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:54,485
AND WHILE THEY OFTEN CLAIM

1003
00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:55,920
THEY'RE "HELPING" ELECTION

1004
00:25:55,921 --> 00:25:56,554
BOARDS DO THEIR JOBS, OFFICIALS

1005
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,089
BEING ON THE

1006
00:25:58,090 --> 00:25:58,723
RECEIVING END OF AN AVALANCHE OF

1007
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,324
CHALLENGES IS EXHAUSTING--

1008
00:26:00,325 --> 00:26:00,925
ESPECIALLY AS THEY'RE USUALLY

1009
00:26:00,926 --> 00:26:01,759
JUST REPLICATING WORK THAT'S

1010
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,894
ALREADY HAPPENING.

1011
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:03,594
THERE HAVE BEEN DAYS WHERE

1012
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:04,796
I'VE RECEIVED A COUPLE THOUSAND

1013
00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:06,664
NAMES.

1014
00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:07,265
I'VE HAD TO LOOK EACH OF THOSE

1015
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:09,534
VOTERS UP ONE BY ONE.

1016
00:26:09,535 --> 00:26:11,302
ROUGHLY 75-80% OF THE NAMES THEY

1017
00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:12,470
GIVE ME WE HAVE ALREADY DEALT

1018
00:26:12,471 --> 00:26:13,938
WITH.

1019
00:26:13,939 --> 00:26:15,907
AND THE REST OF THE NAMES?

1020
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,141
WELL, YOU WOULD CATCH THEM

1021
00:26:17,142 --> 00:26:19,744
ANYWAY.

1022
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:20,345
THERE'S SAFEGUARDS BUILT INTO

1023
00:26:20,346 --> 00:26:21,846
THE WHOLE SYSTEM FOR ANY ISSUE

1024
00:26:21,847 --> 00:26:28,820
YOU CAN DREAM OF.

1025
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:29,721
EXACTLY.

1026
00:26:29,722 --> 00:26:30,355
THEY'RE BASICALLY JUST CREATING

1027
00:26:30,356 --> 00:26:31,422
BUSY WORK FOR THAT MAN, WHO

1028
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:31,823
DOESN'T NEED THAT.

1029
00:26:31,824 --> 00:26:32,990
HE WORKS IN A GIANT WAREHOUSE

1030
00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:33,958
FULL OF SUITCASES THAT GETS SO

1031
00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:34,892
LITTLE NATURAL LIGHT, THE ONLY

1032
00:26:34,893 --> 00:26:36,527
PLACE HE CAN GO ON VACATION IS

1033
00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:38,262
ON HIS SHIRT.

1034
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:39,597
THAT MAN NEEDS A BEACH, A MAI

1035
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,165
TAI, AND FOR ALL THE VIGILANTE

1036
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:42,633
VOTE POLICE TO LEAVE HIM THE

1037
00:26:42,634 --> 00:26:44,068
FUCK ALONE.

1038
00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:45,136
MOST OF THESE CITIZEN-LED

1039
00:26:45,137 --> 00:26:46,637
CHALLENGES ARE EITHER REDUNDANT

1040
00:26:46,638 --> 00:26:47,772
- LIKE HE SAID-- OR FLAWED,

1041
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,741
BECAUSE THEY'RE COMPLETELY

1042
00:26:49,742 --> 00:26:52,243
RELIANT ON PUBLIC DATABASES THAT

1043
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:53,878
MAY CONTAIN ERRORS, WITHOUT

1044
00:26:53,879 --> 00:26:55,380
HAVING ACCESS TO THE PROTECTED

1045
00:26:55,381 --> 00:26:57,115
PERSONAL INFORMATION AVAILABLE

1046
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:59,283
TO ELECTION OFFICIALS.

1047
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:00,885
THAT'S WHY PROGRAMS LIKE THESE

1048
00:27:00,886 --> 00:27:01,953
CAN OFTEN GENERATE FALSE

1049
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,756
POSITIVES LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,

1050
00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:05,990
FLAGGING VOTERS WHO SHARED THE

1051
00:27:05,991 --> 00:27:06,624
SAME NAME AND BIRTHDATE, BUT ARE

1052
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:11,062
ACTUALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

1053
00:27:11,063 --> 00:27:12,630
AND GETTING FLAGGED CAN BE

1054
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:13,464
INTENSELY FRUSTRATING.

1055
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:14,399
JUST LISTEN TO THIS MAN WHO

1056
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,133
LIVES IN THE SAME COUNTY WHERE

1057
00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:16,534
OUR EXHAUSTED OFFICIAL WORKS.

1058
00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:17,135
I HAVE BEEN VOTING HERE FOR

1059
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,836
TWO DECADES.

1060
00:27:18,837 --> 00:27:20,805
AS WE CAN SEE, I AM REAL.

1061
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:22,540
I AM HERE.

1062
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:22,974
I AM TALKING TO YOU.

1063
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:23,508
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY

1064
00:27:23,509 --> 00:27:24,676
DANIEL MOSS IS DEFENDING HIS

1065
00:27:24,677 --> 00:27:25,877
EXISTENCE, IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS

1066
00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:27,812
LIST.

1067
00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:28,746
THAT'S MY FIRST NAME.

1068
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:31,349
THAT'S MY LAST NAME.

1069
00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:32,784
OF THOUSANDS OF VOTER

1070
00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:34,118
REGISTRATIONS IN DENTON COUNTY

1071
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,120
BEING CHALLENGED AS INELIGIBLE.

1072
00:27:36,121 --> 00:27:37,855
FINDING OUT THAT I'M ON SOME

1073
00:27:37,856 --> 00:27:38,756
SORT OF HIT LIST OF PEOPLE WHO

1074
00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:40,892
SHOULDN'T BE VOTING.

1075
00:27:40,893 --> 00:27:41,492
I WAS-- I WAS PRETTY PISSED

1076
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,728
OFF.

1077
00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:44,362
DANIEL MOSS'S CHALLENGE CAME

1078
00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:46,698
FROM SOMEONE HE DOESN'T EVEN

1079
00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:46,898
KNOW.

1080
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:48,399
I WANT TO SAY IT WAS NANCY?

1081
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,600
NANCY LIVES IN THE SAME

1082
00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:53,938
COUNTY, AND SINGLE HANDEDLY SENT

1083
00:27:53,939 --> 00:27:55,673
IN THOUSANDS OF CHALLENGES THIS

1084
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,375
YEAR.

1085
00:27:57,376 --> 00:27:57,942
NANCY SENDS ME SOMETHING

1086
00:27:57,943 --> 00:28:02,513
EVERY DAY.

1087
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,582
I BET SHE DOES.

1088
00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:06,250
YOU CAN HEAR THE EXHAUSTION IN

1089
00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:08,152
HIS VOICE THERE.

1090
00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:08,786
"NANCY SENDS ME SOMETHING EVERY

1091
00:28:08,787 --> 00:28:09,921
DAY.

1092
00:28:09,922 --> 00:28:10,488
AND SHE'LL KEEP SENDING ME

1093
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:12,290
THINGS UNTIL I'M A HUSK OF THE

1094
00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:13,391
HUSK I AM NOW, AND A GENTLE

1095
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:14,459
BREEZE CARRIES ME AWAY TO SOME

1096
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:18,062
BEAUTIFUL PLACE WHERE THERE ARE

1097
00:28:18,063 --> 00:28:23,701
NO MORE NANCYS."

1098
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:24,335
THE POINT IS, JUST A HANDFUL OF

1099
00:28:24,336 --> 00:28:31,411
PEOPLE CAN CAUSE A HUGE AMOUNT

1100
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:33,144
OF PROBLEMS.

1101
00:28:33,145 --> 00:28:34,345
LAST YEAR, IN WATERFORD,

1102
00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:35,646
MICHIGAN, A COUNTY CLERK

1103
00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:36,247
IMPROPERLY CUT MORE THAN 1,000

1104
00:28:36,248 --> 00:28:37,515
VOTERS FROM THEIR ROLLS IN

1105
00:28:37,516 --> 00:28:38,149
RESPONSE TO CHALLENGES FROM ONE

1106
00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:39,283
79-YEAR-OLD RESIDENT WHO

1107
00:28:39,284 --> 00:28:40,218
BELIEVED THE LAST ELECTION WAS

1108
00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:40,451
STOLEN.

1109
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:41,285
AND CHALLENGES HAVE BEEN

1110
00:28:41,286 --> 00:28:42,653
PARTICULARLY INTENSE IN THE

1111
00:28:42,654 --> 00:28:43,287
SWING STATE OF GEORGIA, WHERE--

1112
00:28:43,288 --> 00:28:43,888
BECAUSE OF A NEW STATE LAW--

1113
00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:44,655
ANYONE CAN NOW BRING AN

1114
00:28:44,656 --> 00:28:46,157
UNLIMITED NUMBER OF CHALLENGES

1115
00:28:46,158 --> 00:28:46,791
AGAINST ANYONE IN THEIR COUNTY,

1116
00:28:46,792 --> 00:28:47,458
WHICH HAVE TO BE HEARD WITHIN 10

1117
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,227
BUSINESS DAYS.

1118
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:50,228
SINCE THAT BILL WAS PASSED, MORE

1119
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,797
THAN 180,000 CITIZEN CHALLENGES

1120
00:28:52,798 --> 00:28:54,666
HAVE BEEN FILED, WITH THE VAST

1121
00:28:54,667 --> 00:28:56,834
MAJORITY BY JUST SIX PEOPLE.

1122
00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:58,936
WHICH IS RIDICULOUS!

1123
00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:00,138
A GROUP SOWING THAT MUCH CHAOS

1124
00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:01,172
SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIT INSIDE

1125
00:29:01,173 --> 00:29:04,142
THE TITAN SUBMERSIBLE.

1126
00:29:04,143 --> 00:29:05,610
ALTHOUGH, SINCE THEY CAN, I'D BE

1127
00:29:05,611 --> 00:29:08,246
HAPPY TO PAY FOR THEIR TRIP.

1128
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:11,082
I HEAR IT'S BEAUTIFUL DOWN

1129
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,517
THERE!

1130
00:29:12,518 --> 00:29:13,251
GEORGIA VOTERS HAVE BEEN

1131
00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,686
CHALLENGED FOR STUPID REASONS,

1132
00:29:14,687 --> 00:29:16,354
LIKE TINY MISMATCHES BETWEEN

1133
00:29:16,355 --> 00:29:18,122
THEIR MAILING ADDRESS AND WHERE

1134
00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:18,990
THEY'RE REGISTERED.

1135
00:29:18,991 --> 00:29:19,724
THIS MAN SHOWED UP AT A MEETING

1136
00:29:19,725 --> 00:29:20,992
LAST SPRING AFTER HE WAS

1137
00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:22,360
CHALLENGED, BECAUSE HIS ADDRESS

1138
00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:23,861
WAS MISTAKENLY RECORDED AS

1139
00:29:23,862 --> 00:29:24,862
"NORTH PINE DRIVE DRIVE" INSTEAD

1140
00:29:24,863 --> 00:29:26,564
OF JUST "NORTH PINE DRIVE."

1141
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:27,732
AND THIS WOMAN HAD AN EVEN MORE

1142
00:29:27,733 --> 00:29:29,901
INFURIATING STORY.

1143
00:29:29,902 --> 00:29:32,303
MY RIGHTS WAS CHALLENGED.

1144
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:34,238
I'VE BEEN STAYING AT THIS SAME

1145
00:29:34,239 --> 00:29:36,474
ADDRESS FOR-- SINCE 2011.

1146
00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:37,508
VOTERS LIKE LAKENDRA GRAHAM.

1147
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:38,543
SHE SAID SHE LIVED ON

1148
00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:40,978
CONFEDERATE AVENUE IN ATLANTA,

1149
00:29:40,979 --> 00:29:43,381
THE NAME OF WHICH THE CITY

1150
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:44,615
CHANGED WITH GREAT FANFARE TO

1151
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:47,685
UNITED AVENUE IN 2019.

1152
00:29:47,686 --> 00:29:49,721
NOT HER FAULT, SHE TOLD THE

1153
00:29:49,722 --> 00:29:51,155
BOARD IN MARCH.

1154
00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:52,657
IT'S A WASTE OF MY TIME,

1155
00:29:52,658 --> 00:29:53,224
BECAUSE I'M HERE WHEN I HAVE

1156
00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:54,158
OTHER THINGS TO DO.

1157
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:55,460
I HAVE A JOB.

1158
00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:56,928
YEAH, IT'S A WASTE OF

1159
00:29:56,929 --> 00:29:58,763
HER TIME, WHICH COULD BE BETTER

1160
00:29:58,764 --> 00:30:00,465
SPENT ON WORKING OR SHOPPING OR

1161
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:02,734
FIGURING OUT WHY THE FUCK THAT

1162
00:30:02,735 --> 00:30:03,801
STREET NAME WASN'T CHANGED ANY

1163
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:08,172
EARLIER THAN 2019.

1164
00:30:08,173 --> 00:30:08,773
AND WHILE THE VAST MAJORITY OF

1165
00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:10,441
THESE CHALLENGES FAIL, THEY CAN

1166
00:30:10,442 --> 00:30:10,942
HAVE A CHILLING EFFECT.

1167
00:30:10,943 --> 00:30:12,710
IN THE WORDS OF ONE ATTORNEY,

1168
00:30:12,711 --> 00:30:13,211
THEY'RE "MORE LIKELY TO

1169
00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:14,645
DISENFRANCHISE OR INTIMIDATE OR

1170
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:15,980
CONFUSE VOTERS THAN THEY ARE TO

1171
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,482
ACTUALLY TURN UP PEOPLE

1172
00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:19,784
INELIGIBLE TO VOTE."

1173
00:30:19,785 --> 00:30:20,385
WHICH IS BOTH INFURIATING AND,

1174
00:30:20,386 --> 00:30:21,252
ONE MIGHT SUSPECT, KIND OF THE

1175
00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:23,688
POINT.

1176
00:30:23,689 --> 00:30:24,255
AND WHILE SO FAR, WE'VE BEEN

1177
00:30:24,256 --> 00:30:26,824
LOOKING AT PREEMPTIVE STRIKES

1178
00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:27,592
AHEAD OF THE ELECTION, THERE'S

1179
00:30:27,593 --> 00:30:29,060
WANT TO MENTION, WHOSE MAIN

1180
00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:34,467
EFFECTS WILL ONLY BE SEEN IN THE

1181
00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:43,207
1 FINAL STRING OF FUCKERY I

1182
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:43,775
WANT TO MENTION, WHOSE MAIN

1183
00:30:43,776 --> 00:30:47,945
EFFECTS WILL ONLY BE SEEN IN THE

1184
00:30:47,946 --> 00:30:48,546
DAYS FOLLOWING NOVEMBER 5th--

1185
00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:49,714
AND THAT'S SOME OF THE CHANGES

1186
00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:50,281
MADE TO BOARDS THAT CERTIFY

1187
00:30:50,282 --> 00:30:50,782
ELECTIONS.

1188
00:30:50,783 --> 00:30:51,582
BECAUSE WHILE I MENTIONED THAT

1189
00:30:51,583 --> 00:30:52,583
DENIERS WHO RAN FOR CHIEF

1190
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:53,217
ELECTION OFFICER IN SWING STATES

1191
00:30:53,218 --> 00:30:54,185
LOST, THERE ARE STILL A

1192
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,486
SIGNIFICANT NUMBER ON THE STATE

1193
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:55,853
AND LOCAL LEVEL.

1194
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:56,821
ONE ANALYSIS FOUND THAT IN THESE

1195
00:30:56,822 --> 00:30:58,556
SIX KEY SWING STATES, THERE ARE

1196
00:30:58,557 --> 00:30:59,123
NEARLY 70 PRO-TRUMP ELECTION

1197
00:30:59,124 --> 00:30:59,891
CONSPIRACISTS, WHO ARE CURRENTLY

1198
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:00,425
WORKING AS COUNTY ELECTION

1199
00:31:00,426 --> 00:31:00,892
OFFICIALS.

1200
00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:01,793
AND MAYBE THE MOST STRIKING

1201
00:31:01,794 --> 00:31:02,627
SHIFT HAS BEEN IN GEORGIA, WHERE

1202
00:31:02,628 --> 00:31:04,095
- UNIQUELY AMONG SWING STATES

1203
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:04,729
- REPUBLICANS ARE IN CHARGE OF

1204
00:31:04,730 --> 00:31:06,964
THE GOVERNORSHIP, HOUSE, AND

1205
00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:07,198
SENATE.

1206
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:07,999
AND THEY'VE USED THAT POWER

1207
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,000
DECISIVELY TO, AMONG OTHER

1208
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:11,202
THINGS, RESHAPE THE FIVE-MEMBER

1209
00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:11,669
STATE ELECTIONS BOARD.

1210
00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:12,503
THESE THREE TRUMP-FRIENDLY

1211
00:31:12,504 --> 00:31:13,137
MEMBERS HAVE NOW BEEN INSTALLED,

1212
00:31:13,138 --> 00:31:14,572
ALL OF WHOM HAVE QUESTIONED THE

1213
00:31:14,573 --> 00:31:16,708
RESULTS OF THE 2020 ELECTION,

1214
00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:18,476
AND TRUMP LOVES THEM SO MUCH, HE

1215
00:31:18,477 --> 00:31:19,577
EVEN CALLED THEM OUT BY NAME AT

1216
00:31:19,578 --> 00:31:21,646
A RALLY.

1217
00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:24,649
THREE MEMBERS, JANICE

1218
00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:28,653
JOHNSTON, RICK JEFFARES, AND

1219
00:31:28,654 --> 00:31:30,455
JANELLE KING.

1220
00:31:30,456 --> 00:31:32,690
THREE PEOPLE ARE ALL PIT BULLS

1221
00:31:32,691 --> 00:31:35,259
FIGHTING FOR HONESTY,

1222
00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,527
TRANSPARENCY, AND VICTORY.

1223
00:31:36,528 --> 00:31:37,595
THEY'RE FIGHTING.

1224
00:31:37,596 --> 00:31:38,229
ARE THEY HERE?

1225
00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:42,500
WHERE ARE THEY?

1226
00:31:42,501 --> 00:31:43,534
THANK YOU.

1227
00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:44,702
WHAT A JOB.

1228
00:31:44,703 --> 00:31:46,004
THANK YOU.

1229
00:31:46,005 --> 00:31:48,239
WOW.

1230
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:48,840
THE FACT TRUMP'S SHOUTING THEM

1231
00:31:48,841 --> 00:31:50,475
OUT LIKE THEY'RE EACH THE

1232
00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:51,109
BIRTHDAY BOY OR GIRL AT CHUCK E.

1233
00:31:51,110 --> 00:31:53,211
CHEESE ISN'T A GREAT SIGN.

1234
00:31:53,212 --> 00:31:54,645
NOR IS IT GREAT THAT ONE OF THEM

1235
00:31:54,646 --> 00:31:55,313
RICK JEFFARES, EVEN TOLD A TRUMP

1236
00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:57,281
CAMPAIGN ADVISER THAT, IF THEY

1237
00:31:57,282 --> 00:31:59,083
WIN IN NOVEMBER, HE WANTS TO

1238
00:31:59,084 --> 00:31:59,617
JOIN THEIR ADMINISTRATION,

1239
00:31:59,618 --> 00:32:01,285
SAYING "IF Y'ALL CAN'T FIGURE

1240
00:32:01,286 --> 00:32:02,987
OUT WHO YOU WANT TO BE THE EPA

1241
00:32:02,988 --> 00:32:03,621
DIRECTOR FOR THE SOUTH-EAST, I'D

1242
00:32:03,622 --> 00:32:05,123
LIKE TO HAVE IT."

1243
00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:05,723
WHICH MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME

1244
00:32:05,724 --> 00:32:06,924
I'VE HEARD OF POLITICAL

1245
00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:07,525
CORRUPTION HAVING A VIBE THAT

1246
00:32:07,526 --> 00:32:12,063
SCREAMS "NO WORRIES IF NOT."

1247
00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:12,930
NOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU: ALL

1248
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,265
THREE HAVE PUSHED BACK ON THE

1249
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,433
INSINUATION THEY'RE WORKING FOR

1250
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:18,269
TRUMP, WITH ONE SAYING SHE'S

1251
00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,303
FACED "CHARACTER ASSASSINATION,

1252
00:32:19,304 --> 00:32:20,672
MEDIA MURDER, AND 'LAWFARE

1253
00:32:20,673 --> 00:32:22,106
LYNCHING'" AND, TO GET AHEAD OF

1254
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:22,707
YOUR QUESTION, YES IT WAS THE

1255
00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:27,545
OLD WHITE LADY WHO SAID THAT.

1256
00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:28,146
BUT IN AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER--

1257
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:29,514
INCREDIBLY LATE IN THE ELECTION

1258
00:32:29,515 --> 00:32:31,649
CYCLE-- THE BOARD PASSED A

1259
00:32:31,650 --> 00:32:32,283
BUNCH OF NEW RULES THAT'LL MAKE

1260
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:32,884
IT MUCH EASIER TO SOW DOUBT IN

1261
00:32:32,885 --> 00:32:36,487
THE CERTIFICATION PROCESS.

1262
00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:37,121
ONE OF THEM REQUIRES A FULL HAND

1263
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,058
COUNT OF BALLOTS IN EACH

1264
00:32:40,059 --> 00:32:41,125
PRECINCT TO TAKE PLACE EITHER

1265
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:43,528
THE NIGHT OF THE ELECTION OR THE

1266
00:32:43,529 --> 00:32:44,162
NEXT DAY, AND WHICH MUST BE DONE

1267
00:32:44,163 --> 00:32:44,762
BY JUST THREE INDIVIDUALS PER

1268
00:32:44,763 --> 00:32:48,433
PRECINCT.

1269
00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:49,033
WHICH MIGHT SOUND REASONABLE,

1270
00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:50,134
BUT AS EXPERTS HAVE EXPLAINED,

1271
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:51,436
THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO CAUSE

1272
00:32:51,437 --> 00:32:54,105
CHAOS.

1273
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:55,273
I BROUGHT WITH ME 1,872 PAGES

1274
00:32:55,274 --> 00:32:57,809
OF PAPER REPRESENTING WHAT A

1275
00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,477
STACK OF BALLOTS COULD LOOK LIKE

1276
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,513
ON A BUSY COUNTING DAY.

1277
00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:04,148
AND BUSIER, LARGER PRECINCTS MAY

1278
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:05,416
HAVE EVEN MORE THAN THIS NUMBER.

1279
00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:07,118
IF I WERE TO HAND THIS STACK OF

1280
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:10,355
PAPER TO THREE RANDOM PEOPLE IN

1281
00:33:10,356 --> 00:33:10,988
THIS ROOM, ESPECIALLY AT THE END

1282
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,423
OF A LONG VOTING DAY, AND ASK

1283
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:13,057
THEM TO ARRIVE AT THE SAME TOTAL

1284
00:33:13,058 --> 00:33:14,525
NUMBER, DO WE THINK THAT'S

1285
00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:15,860
FEASIBLE?

1286
00:33:15,861 --> 00:33:16,394
COUNTING LARGE NUMBERS OF

1287
00:33:16,395 --> 00:33:17,662
ANYTHING ONE BY ONE IS AN

1288
00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:19,364
INCREDIBLY TEDIOUS PROCESS, AND

1289
00:33:19,365 --> 00:33:20,331
NOT ONE HUMANS ARE WELL EQUIPPED

1290
00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:21,899
FOR.

1291
00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:22,500
PEOPLE DOING A HAND COUNT ARE

1292
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:23,568
GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES, WHICH

1293
00:33:23,569 --> 00:33:25,069
CAN THEN BE EXPLOITED TO SPREAD

1294
00:33:25,070 --> 00:33:26,304
LIES AND SOW FURTHER DISTRUST IN

1295
00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:27,472
OUR ELECTIONS AND OUR ELECTION

1296
00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:28,740
OFFICIALS.

1297
00:33:28,741 --> 00:33:29,440
YEAH, OF COURSE.

1298
00:33:29,441 --> 00:33:31,309
IF YOU HANDED THREE EXHAUSTED

1299
00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:32,243
PEOPLE THAT STACK OF PAPER AND

1300
00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:34,712
TOLD THEM TO HAVE THE SAME

1301
00:33:34,713 --> 00:33:35,747
NUMBER BY MORNING, YOU'RE NOT

1302
00:33:35,748 --> 00:33:38,249
GUARANTEED THE SAME ANSWER.

1303
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:38,816
AT BEST, YOU GET A SCENARIO

1304
00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:39,851
THAT'D GIVE MOST PEOPLE A PANIC

1305
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:41,352
ATTACK AND THE COUNT AN INSTANT

1306
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:44,555
ORGASM.

1307
00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,557
DOZENS OF ELECTION OFFICIALS

1308
00:33:46,558 --> 00:33:47,525
HAVE SAID A HAND COUNT OF ALL

1309
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:48,526
THE BALLOTS WOULD BE PHYSICALLY

1310
00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:49,894
IMPOSSIBLE IN ALL BUT THE

1311
00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:50,928
SMALLEST COUNTIES.

1312
00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:52,530
BUT THE THING IS, THAT RULE

1313
00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:55,299
MIGHT TRIGGER ANOTHER NEW ONE

1314
00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:56,034
THAT BARS COUNTIES FROM

1315
00:33:56,035 --> 00:33:57,735
CERTIFYING THE ELECTION UNTIL

1316
00:33:57,736 --> 00:33:59,037
OFFICIALS CAN REVIEW AN

1317
00:33:59,038 --> 00:34:00,805
INVESTIGATION OF EVERY PRECINCT

1318
00:34:00,806 --> 00:34:02,740
WITH INCONSISTENT TOTALS, AND

1319
00:34:02,741 --> 00:34:04,676
GIVES COUNTY BOARDS THE POWER TO

1320
00:34:04,677 --> 00:34:05,677
EXCLUDE ENTIRE PRECINCTS FROM

1321
00:34:05,678 --> 00:34:07,245
THE VOTE TOTALS IF THEY THINK

1322
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:09,047
THEY'RE FRAUDULENT.

1323
00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:12,450
WHICH IS WILD.

1324
00:34:12,451 --> 00:34:13,951
AND MIGHT BE A PROBLEM, GIVEN

1325
00:34:13,952 --> 00:34:14,552
SOME LOCAL ELECTION OFFICIALS

1326
00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:16,788
ARE FUCKING NUTS.

1327
00:34:16,789 --> 00:34:18,423
FOR INSTANCE, THIS ELECTION

1328
00:34:18,424 --> 00:34:18,990
CHAIR IN GEORGIA'S SPALDING

1329
00:34:18,991 --> 00:34:21,359
COUNTY TWEETED, JUST THREE DAYS

1330
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:27,965
AFTER JANUARY 6, THIS MESS OF

1331
00:34:27,966 --> 00:34:28,566
OFFENSIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES

1332
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:29,500
INCLUDING THE HASHTAG

1333
00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:31,035
#BidenWillNeverBePresident AND

1334
00:34:31,036 --> 00:34:33,237
#BidenIsAPedo.

1335
00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:35,106
THAT'S NOT SOMEBODY YOU WANT

1336
00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:35,707
EMPOWERED TO THROW OUT VOTES.

1337
00:34:35,708 --> 00:34:36,341
AND ON TOP OF THAT, YET ANOTHER

1338
00:34:36,342 --> 00:34:37,275
NEW RULE EMPOWERS COUNTY

1339
00:34:37,276 --> 00:34:38,409
ELECTION BOARD MEMBERS TO

1340
00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:40,411
CONDUCT "REASONABLE INQUIRY"

1341
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:40,945
INTO ALLEGATIONS OF VOTING

1342
00:34:40,946 --> 00:34:43,514
IRREGULARITIES, WITHOUT SETTING

1343
00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:49,687
DEADLINES FOR HOW LONG THEY

1344
00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:50,288
MIGHT LAST, OR-- CRUCIALLY--

1345
00:34:50,289 --> 00:34:52,023
DEFINE WHAT A "REASONABLE

1346
00:34:52,024 --> 00:34:52,890
INQUIRY" EVEN MEANS.

1347
00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:53,458
AND THAT'S SOMETHING ONE OF

1348
00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:54,926
THOSE NEW TRUMP-FRIENDLY

1349
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:55,793
APPOINTEES SEEMED WEIRDLY

1350
00:34:55,794 --> 00:34:56,661
UNCONCERNED ABOUT.

1351
00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:57,261
WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS DEFINE

1352
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,262
"REASONABLE INQUIRY?"

1353
00:34:58,263 --> 00:35:01,499
I MEAN, YOU GUYS MADE THE RULE.

1354
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:02,066
HOW-- HOW BEST SHOULD WE

1355
00:35:02,067 --> 00:35:03,501
DEFINE "REASONABLE?"

1356
00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:04,435
I THOUGHT-- WE THOUGHT THAT

1357
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:06,137
MOST PEOPLE KNEW WHAT REASONABLE

1358
00:35:06,138 --> 00:35:10,441
IS.

1359
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:12,510
IT'S MORE OF A RHETORICAL

1360
00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:13,177
QUESTION.

1361
00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:13,845
SO, I-- I DIDN'T THINK WE WOULD

1362
00:35:13,846 --> 00:35:15,713
HAVE TO WRITE THE DEFINITION OF

1363
00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:16,314
"REASONABLE" WITHIN THE-- THE

1364
00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:17,315
RULE.

1365
00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:17,915
BUT IF THAT'S THE CASE, WE'LL

1366
00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:19,050
POST WHAT THE DEFINITION OF

1367
00:35:19,051 --> 00:35:20,118
REASONABLE MEANS.

1368
00:35:20,119 --> 00:35:20,752
BUT THEY STILL HAVEN'T

1369
00:35:20,753 --> 00:35:21,686
DONE THAT YET-- EVEN THOUGH

1370
00:35:21,687 --> 00:35:23,121
EARLY IN-PERSON VOTING IN

1371
00:35:23,122 --> 00:35:24,222
GEORGIA STARTS THIS WEEK.

1372
00:35:24,223 --> 00:35:25,256
AND THAT'S A PROBLEM, BECAUSE

1373
00:35:25,257 --> 00:35:25,857
YOU DO NEED TO DEFINE THE WORD

1374
00:35:25,858 --> 00:35:26,924
"REASONABLE."

1375
00:35:26,925 --> 00:35:27,492
IT'S A SUBJECTIVE TERM, LIKE

1376
00:35:27,493 --> 00:35:30,061
"FUNNY" OR "INTERESTING."

1377
00:35:30,062 --> 00:35:31,462
THOSE WORDS MEAN SOMETHING

1378
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:34,065
DIFFERENT TO EVERYONE.

1379
00:35:34,066 --> 00:35:35,099
I PERSONALLY PROVE THAT EVERY

1380
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:36,234
SUNDAY NIGHT.

1381
00:35:36,235 --> 00:35:38,670
I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW!

1382
00:35:38,671 --> 00:35:41,072
EXPERTS SAY THAT "REASONABLE

1383
00:35:41,073 --> 00:35:42,206
INQUIRY" RULE COULD ALLOW ROGUE

1384
00:35:42,207 --> 00:35:44,275
ELECTION OFFICIALS TO DRAG

1385
00:35:44,276 --> 00:35:45,576
INQUIRIES PAST CERTIFICATION

1386
00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:47,245
DEADLINES.

1387
00:35:47,246 --> 00:35:47,845
AND WHILE COURTS ARE CURRENTLY

1388
00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:49,280
HEARING CHALLENGES TO THESE

1389
00:35:49,281 --> 00:35:49,881
RULES, IF THEY ALLOW THEM, ONE

1390
00:35:49,882 --> 00:35:50,581
POTENTIAL END RESULT IS LOCAL

1391
00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:53,151
OFFICIALS IN JUST A HANDFUL OF

1392
00:35:53,152 --> 00:35:54,686
RURAL COUNTIES COULD EXCLUDE

1393
00:35:54,687 --> 00:35:56,554
ENOUGH VOTES IN GEORGIA TO

1394
00:35:56,555 --> 00:35:57,088
AFFECT THE OUTCOME OF THE

1395
00:35:57,089 --> 00:35:58,456
PRESIDENTIAL RACE.

1396
00:35:58,457 --> 00:35:58,990
AND WHEN YOU TAKE ALL THIS

1397
00:35:58,991 --> 00:36:00,124
TOGETHER-- THE LIES ABOUT

1398
00:36:00,125 --> 00:36:02,360
IMMIGRANTS VOTING, THE MASS

1399
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:03,528
VOTER CHALLENGES, AND THE

1400
00:36:03,529 --> 00:36:05,329
INTRODUCTION OF NEW PROCESSES TO

1401
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,398
SLOW DOWN AND QUESTION VOTE

1402
00:36:07,399 --> 00:36:08,032
COUNTS-- IT SEEMS DEPRESSINGLY

1403
00:36:08,033 --> 00:36:09,300
LIKELY WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE A

1404
00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:10,601
STORM OF BULLSHIT JUST LIKE LAST

1405
00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:11,969
TIME.

1406
00:36:11,970 --> 00:36:12,570
AND THERE ARE A FEW THINGS WE

1407
00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:15,206
SHOULD BE READY FOR.

1408
00:36:15,207 --> 00:36:16,441
UNLESS THERE IS AN

1409
00:36:16,442 --> 00:36:18,242
ABSOLUTE LANDSLIDE, WE'RE

1410
00:36:18,243 --> 00:36:18,876
UNLIKELY TO KNOW THE OUTCOME OF

1411
00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:22,747
THE ELECTION ON NOVEMBER 5TH.

1412
00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:23,381
AND WHEN IT COMES TO GEORGIA, IF

1413
00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:24,716
HARRIS WINS NARROWLY, WE'LL

1414
00:36:24,717 --> 00:36:27,118
ALMOST CERTAINLY SEE LEGAL

1415
00:36:27,119 --> 00:36:28,386
BATTLES STRETCHING INTO DECEMBER

1416
00:36:28,387 --> 00:36:29,854
OR BEYOND, AND WHICH COULD

1417
00:36:29,855 --> 00:36:31,389
EVENTUALLY END UP IN FRONT OF

1418
00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:32,457
THESE GUYS, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY

1419
00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:35,326
REASSURING.

1420
00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:36,761
AND ALL THE WHILE, TRUMP'LL TRY

1421
00:36:36,762 --> 00:36:37,962
AND EXPLOIT ANY DELAY OR

1422
00:36:37,963 --> 00:36:38,863
UNCERTAINTY.

1423
00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:39,964
UNLESS, THAT IS, HE WINS

1424
00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:41,699
OUTRIGHT, IN WHICH CASE, HE'LL

1425
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:42,800
INSIST HE TRIUMPHED OVER A

1426
00:36:42,801 --> 00:36:44,702
RIGGED SYSTEM.

1427
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:47,205
SO THAT'S WHAT WE CAN EXPECT.

1428
00:36:47,206 --> 00:36:48,239
WHAT CAN WE DO?

1429
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,140
WELL, YOU CAN-- AND I HATE

1430
00:36:49,141 --> 00:36:50,074
SAYING THIS AS MUCH AS YOU

1431
00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:51,309
PROBABLY HATE HEARING IT-- MAKE

1432
00:36:51,310 --> 00:36:52,677
A PLAN TO VOTE AND HELP OTHERS

1433
00:36:52,678 --> 00:36:55,413
DO THE SAME, SINCE THE CLOSER

1434
00:36:55,414 --> 00:36:57,048
THE RACE IS, THE EASIER IT'LL BE

1435
00:36:57,049 --> 00:37:00,184
FOR TRUMP TO SOW BULLSHIT.

1436
00:37:00,185 --> 00:37:00,785
YOU SHOULD CHECK TO MAKE SURE

1437
00:37:00,786 --> 00:37:01,586
YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION IS

1438
00:37:01,587 --> 00:37:02,387
CURRENT.

1439
00:37:02,388 --> 00:37:03,955
YOU CAN USE THIS WEBSITE TO FIND

1440
00:37:03,956 --> 00:37:05,256
LINKS TO YOUR STATE'S VOTER

1441
00:37:05,257 --> 00:37:07,158
REGISTRATION VERIFICATION TOOLS.

1442
00:37:07,159 --> 00:37:08,828
AT THIS WEBSITE BELOW.

1443
00:37:12,332 --> 00:37:14,232
VOTE EARLY IF YOU CAN TO ENSURE

1444
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:15,099
IF THERE'S ANY ISSUE WITH YOUR

1445
00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:18,369
REGISTRATION, YOU CAN CLEAR IT

1446
00:37:18,370 --> 00:37:18,803
UP BY ELECTION DAY.

1447
00:37:18,804 --> 00:37:22,707
IF YOU VOTE BY MAIL, YOU CAN

1448
00:37:22,708 --> 00:37:24,942
FIND INFORMATION AT THIS WEBSITE

1449
00:37:24,943 --> 00:37:26,277
BELOW.

1450
00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:27,245
BUT BEYOND THAT, IT'S GOING TO

1451
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:27,879
BE VITAL TO BE RESILIENT AGAINST

1452
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,013
THE STORM OF TOXIC NONSENSE

1453
00:37:29,014 --> 00:37:31,049
TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES WILL TRY

1454
00:37:31,050 --> 00:37:31,349
AND STIR UP.

1455
00:37:31,350 --> 00:37:32,083
IT COULD GO ON FOR MONTHS, AND

1456
00:37:32,084 --> 00:37:32,684
BE STUPIDER THAN YOU CAN EVEN

1457
00:37:32,685 --> 00:37:34,352
IMAGINE RIGHT NOW.

1458
00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,386
SO STUPID THAT SOMEONE YOU KNOW,

1459
00:37:35,387 --> 00:37:37,155
LOVE OR ARE RELATED TO-- AND

1460
00:37:37,156 --> 00:37:39,157
THOSE ARE THREE DIFFERENT THINGS

1461
00:37:39,158 --> 00:37:40,224
- MIGHT EVEN THINK THERE'S

1462
00:37:40,225 --> 00:37:41,626
SOMETHING TO IT.

1463
00:37:41,627 --> 00:37:42,627
BUT THE KEY THING TO REMEMBER

1464
00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:43,594
HERE IS THAT, AS CHAOTIC AS THE

1465
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:44,962
LAST ELECTION WAS, IN THE END,

1466
00:37:44,963 --> 00:37:47,465
OUR GUARDRAILS DID HOLD.

1467
00:37:47,466 --> 00:37:48,099
AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO MAKE

1468
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:51,436
SURE THEY HOLD UP AGAIN.

1469
00:37:51,437 --> 00:37:52,537
AND IF WE CAN DO THAT, THEN, AND

1470
00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:55,506
ONLY THEN, WE WILL ALL DESERVE

1471
00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:56,507
THE SINGLE GREATEST STICKER EVER

1472
00:37:56,508 --> 00:38:03,583
DESIGNED.

1473
00:38:07,654 --> 00:38:09,354
THAT'S OUR SHOW!

1474
00:38:09,355 --> 00:38:13,591
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

1475
00:38:13,592 --> 00:38:14,292
WE'RE OFF NEXT WEEK, BACK

1476
00:38:14,293 --> 00:38:15,093
OCTOBER 27th, SEE YOU THEN, GOOD

1477
00:38:15,094 --> 00:38:17,662
NIGHT!

1478
00:38:17,663 --> 00:38:18,629
WOW.

1479
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:21,066
WANT ME TO FEED IT TO YOU?