1 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:19,319 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,070 John: I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANKS 3 00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,071 FOR JOINING US! 4 00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:40,572 IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK! 5 00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:41,106 KAMALA HARRIS RELEASED HER 6 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,074 HEALTH RECORDS, WE LEARNED TRUMP 7 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:42,708 SENT COVID TESTS TO PUTIN EARLY 8 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,643 IN THE PANDEMIC, AND FLORIDA 9 00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:46,278 SPENT THE FIRST PART OF THE WEEK 10 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:46,879 BRACING FOR HURRICANE MILTON, 11 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,813 WHICH-- AMONG OTHER THINGS-- 12 00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,816 THREW AN AWKWARD WRENCH INTO 13 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:51,383 TUESDAY'S "DANCING WITH THE 14 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,651 STARS." 15 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:53,252 FOR THE FINAL DANCE OF THE 16 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:56,422 NIGHT, OUR BACHELOR STAR WILL 17 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:57,156 TANGO TO THE HAIR METAL CLASSIC 18 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,224 "ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE." 19 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,325 NOW, WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT 20 00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:01,927 THESE SONGS WERE CHOSEN WEEKS IN 21 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:02,795 ADVANCE OF THE DEVASTATING 22 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,597 WEATHER EVENTS." 23 00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:06,398 John: YEAH, NOT GREAT! 24 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,032 AND WHILE I'M SURE THE SONG WAS 25 00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:09,401 DECIDED WEEKS AGO, IT'S ALSO THE 26 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:15,474 MIDDLE OF HURRICANE SEASON! 27 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:16,208 THIS WASN'T SOME FREAK, 28 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,176 UNFORESEEABLE THING LIKE IF 29 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:17,976 YOU'D HAD TO COME OUT AND SAY, 30 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,378 "BEFORE OUR CONTESTANTS CHA-CHA 31 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:19,978 TO THE THONG SONG, WE WANT YOU 32 00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:22,848 TO KNOW, IT WAS CHOSEN WEEKS 33 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:23,449 BEFORE THIS MORNING'S TRAGIC 34 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,084 MASS THONG-STRANGLING. 35 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,852 PLEASE STAY STRONG. 36 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,020 STRONG, STA-STRONG STRONG 37 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,788 STRONG." 38 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,590 MILTON'S DAMAGE WAS EXTENSIVE, 39 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,358 AND AWFUL. 40 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,561 THOUGH, THANKFULLY, IT WASN'T AS 41 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:40,699 DIRE AS MANY HAD PREDICTED. 42 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,266 THE RUN-UP TO THE STORM DID 43 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,434 PROVIDE A REMINDER OF A WEIRDLY 44 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,102 WIDELY-USED METRIC FOR STORM 45 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,436 SEVERITY. 46 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,037 WAFFLE HOUSE IS STILL 47 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,638 MONITORING THE STORM'S IMPACTS. 48 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:47,439 FEMA OFFICIALS USED THE WAFFLE 49 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,340 HOUSE INDEX AS AN UNOFFICIAL 50 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:51,510 METRIC DURING DISASTERS. 51 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:52,945 WE CALL IT THE WAFFLE HOUSE 52 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,647 INDEX, AND IT'S VERY RELIABLE 53 00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:56,682 THE INDEX WORKS AS AN 54 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,017 UNOFFICIAL INDICATOR TO LOCALS 55 00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,353 OF THE SEVERITY OF AN IMPENDING 56 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,721 STORM, BASED ON IF THEIR NEAREST 57 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,424 WAFFLE HOUSE IS CLOSED OR NOT. 58 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:06,425 John: IT'S TRUE-- THERE'S 59 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:07,426 SOMETHING CALLED A "WAFFLE HOUSE 60 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,594 INDEX." 61 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,295 AND IT'S JARRING TO HAVE 62 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:10,929 SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT CONVEYED 63 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:11,663 IN TERMS OF WAFFLE HOUSE. 64 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:12,698 IT'S LIKE FINDING OUT NORAD 65 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:13,532 RELIES ON THE "OSHKOSH B'GOSH 66 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:19,438 NUCLEAR THREAT LEVEL." 67 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,940 WE ARE AT RED OVERALLS, 68 00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,308 EVERYONE, GET UNDERGROUND. 69 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,476 THE WAFFLE HOUSE INDEX ACTUALLY 70 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,110 ORIGINATED WITH THE GOVERNMENT. 71 00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:25,744 AROUND 20 YEARS AGO, THIS FEMA 72 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:27,279 ADMINISTRATOR REALIZED THAT, 73 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,781 WHEN GOING INTO A DISASTER ZONE, 74 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:29,415 "IF YOU GET THERE AND THE WAFFLE 75 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,783 HOUSE IS CLOSED?" 76 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:31,216 "THAT'S REALLY BAD. 77 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,184 THAT'S WHERE YOU GO TO WORK." 78 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:32,785 AND THAT'S PARTLY BECAUSE THE 79 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,953 COMPANY'S HAD A FANATICAL 80 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:36,689 DEVOTION TO STAYING OPEN. 81 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:37,222 OVER THE YEARS, IT'S SEEN 82 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:40,426 BUSINESS SKYROCKET AT 83 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:40,959 RESTAURANTS THAT REOPENED 84 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,062 QUICKLY AFTER HURRICANES, SO 85 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:43,562 THEY EMBRACED A BUSINESS 86 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:47,900 STRATEGY CENTERED AROUND KEEPING 87 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:48,434 THEIR RESTAURANTS OPERABLE 88 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,969 DURING AND AFTER A DISASTER. 89 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:51,570 AND THEY KNOW PEOPLE TAKE THIS 90 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,439 SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE WAFFLE 91 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,173 HOUSE'S TWITTER FEED FEATURES 92 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,541 SOBER POSTS LIKE THIS ONE, WITH 93 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:56,375 MAPS OF WHICH RESTAURANTS ARE 94 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:57,576 CLOSED, JUST ABOVE NORMAL 95 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,478 WAFFLE-PUSHING ADS LIKE THIS, 96 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,079 READING, "I HAVE A LOT ON MY 97 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,182 PLATE RIGHT NOW." 98 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,350 THAT'S THE MOST JARRING 99 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,284 JUXTAPOSITION OF CONTENT SINCE 100 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:05,918 SUNNY D ONCE SEEMED TO THREATEN 101 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,253 TO COMMIT SUICIDE. 102 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,189 BY THE WAY, THE TWITTER ACCOUNT 103 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,759 FOR SATAN REPLIED TO THAT, "I 104 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:20,834 FEEL YOU SUNNY D MY FRIEND," TO 105 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:21,500 WHICH-- AND THIS TRUE-- SUNNY 106 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,336 D REPLIED "THANK U SATAN." 107 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,104 TWITTER USED TO BE GOOD. 108 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:25,738 AND LOOK, I COULD TALK ABOUT THE 109 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,439 GRIM SUBTEXT HERE, FROM THE IDEA 110 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,073 THAT AMERICANS PLACE MORE TRUST 111 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,441 IN RESTAURANT CHAINS THAN THEIR 112 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:30,075 OWN GOVERNMENT, TO THE FACT THAT 113 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:30,709 SAME CHAIN HAS SOMEHOW MADE "WE 114 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,578 MAKE OUR EMPLOYEES WORK DURING 115 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:33,278 NATURAL DISASTERS" INTO A 116 00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,314 BRANDING OPPORTUNITY. 117 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,751 BUT I'M GOING TO CHOOSE TO FOCUS 118 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,785 ON THE FACT WAFFLE HOUSES HAVE 119 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,886 SOMEHOW BECOME A LIGHT IN THE 120 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:41,787 STORM-- 11 SCRABBLE TILES OF 121 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:44,957 BACKLIT HOPE. 122 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,724 WHICH IS WILD COMING FROM A 123 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,761 PLACE THAT OTHERWISE EMBODIES 124 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:49,395 TOTAL CHAOS, FROM THE FREQUENT 125 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,863 BRAWLS, TO THE STAGGERING 126 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,332 VARIATIONS OF HASH BROWN BOWLS 127 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,133 -- DESCRIBED BY WAFFLE HOUSE AS 128 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,869 "THE JAZZ MUSIC OF THE BREAKFAST 129 00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,072 SCENE," WHICH I GUESS MAKES 130 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:00,673 SENSE, BECAUSE, LIKE JAZZ, THE 131 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,408 IDEA OF A HASH BROWN BOWL SOUNDS 132 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:02,941 FUN, BUT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY 133 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:03,609 EXPERIENCE IT, YOU THINK TO 134 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,710 YOURSELF, "THERE'S TOO MUCH 135 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,245 GOING ON HERE, AND I'M NOT SURE 136 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:11,617 I'M ENJOYING ANY OF IT." 137 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:12,251 THERE'S ALSO THEIR CHAOTIC 138 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,686 DECISION TO STOCK THEIR 139 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:14,453 JUKEBOXES WITH 140 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,187 BREAKFAST-SPECIFIC KNOCKOFF 141 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,856 SONGS, LIKE THIS. 142 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:18,357 ♪ RAISIN ♪ 143 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,858 ♪ (RAISIN TOAST) RAISIN TOAST ♪ 144 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:21,427 ♪ RAISIN ♪ 145 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:26,965 ♪ (RAISIN TOAST) RAISIN TOAST ♪ 146 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:27,499 ♪ THERE ARE RAISINS IN MY 147 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,902 TOAST ♪ 148 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:33,339 ♪ RAISIN TOAST ♪ 149 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:34,673 John: YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE. 150 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:35,274 "SHERRY, BABY" IS A SONG ABOUT 151 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,976 FRANKIE VALLI BEING HORNY FOR A 152 00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:38,677 GIRL, AND THIS IS BASICALLY 153 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,579 THAT, BUT RAISINS. 154 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:41,647 HORNY FOR RAISINS. 155 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,349 WHICH, NOT FOR NOTHING, SOUNDS 156 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:43,949 LIKE IT COULD BE A BELIEVABLE 157 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,918 TITLE OF A JOE BIDEN MEMOIR. 158 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,220 THE POINT IS, WAFFLE HOUSE 159 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,555 COMBINES CHAOS WITH ORDER, AND 160 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,490 NOTHING EXEMPLIFIES THAT MORE 161 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,791 THAN THE BONKERS METHOD THEY'VE 162 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,959 DEVISED FOR LINE COOKS TO KEEP 163 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,594 TRACK OF ORDERS. 164 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:56,729 BECAUSE THEY DON'T USE SIMPLE 165 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,397 METHODS LIKE "SERVERS WRITING IT 166 00:04:58,398 --> 00:04:59,798 DOWN," OR "PUTTING IT IN A 167 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,766 COMPUTER SYSTEM." 168 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,001 THEY DO SOMETHING FAR MORE 169 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,469 COMPLEX, AS THIS EMPLOYEE SHOWED 170 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,403 ON TIKTOK. 171 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,237 ALL OF OUR ORDERS START ON A 172 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,573 PLATE, RIGHT? 173 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:08,140 WE USE JELLY PACKETS TO MARK 174 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,075 MOST OF EVERYTHING. 175 00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,944 SO THIS IS A QUICK RUNDOWN. 176 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:12,244 OVER LIGHT? 177 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,379 ALL THE WAY TO THE LEFT. 178 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,179 OVER MEDIUM? 179 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,814 IN THE MIDDLE. 180 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,915 OVER WELL? 181 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:17,483 ALL THE WAY ON THIS WAY OVER 182 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,751 HERE. 183 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:19,418 SCRAMBLED ON THIS BOTTOM DOWN TO 184 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:20,285 THE SOUTH. 185 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,155 ORDER UP ON TOP. 186 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:23,756 IF THE JELLY PACKET IS FLIPPED 187 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:24,990 UP LIKE THIS, THIS IS WHITE 188 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,792 TOAST. 189 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,260 WHEAT TOAST. 190 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:28,861 USING APPLE BUTTER FOR RAISIN 191 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:29,628 TOAST. 192 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,230 IF YOU THROW A BUTTER JUST ON 193 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,464 THE GRILL LINE, THAT'S A WAFFLE. 194 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:33,932 FLIP IT OVER? 195 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,934 THAT'S A PECAN WAFFLE. 196 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:36,502 SOMETIMES, PEOPLE PUT A BLUE 197 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,637 JELLY PACKET ON TOP. 198 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:40,873 THAT'S A BLUEBERRY WAFFLE. 199 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,043 John: OH, FUCK OFF. 200 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,778 NOT YOU, MAN IN THIS VIDEO. 201 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,346 YOU SEEM LIKE A GREAT HANG, IT'D 202 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,882 BE AN HONOR TO VAPE WITH YOU. 203 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,383 BUT THAT SYSTEM'S LUDICROUS. 204 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,318 WHEN HE OPENED WITH "ALL OUR 205 00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:54,319 ORDERS START ON A PLATE," I 206 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,121 THOUGHT "MAKES SENSE. 207 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,089 FOOD GOES ON PLATE, TAKE ME ON 208 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,157 YOUR JOURNEY." 209 00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:58,791 BUT AS SOON AS HE SAID, "WE USE 210 00:05:58,792 --> 00:05:59,625 JELLY PACKETS TO MARK MOST OF 211 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,260 EVERYTHING"-- I'M OUT. 212 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,528 I DON'T HAVE SPACE IN MY LIFE 213 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,229 FOR JELLY CHOREOGRAPHY. 214 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:04,863 I CAN'T LEARN THAT CODE, I HAVE 215 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,865 A FAMILY. 216 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:07,499 "JELLY PACKET DOWN TO THE SOUTH 217 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,334 SCRAMBLED?" 218 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:13,238 WHAT? 219 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:13,872 AND THEN "IF YOU FLIP THE JELLY 220 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,541 UP, IT'S WHITE, NO FLIP IT'S 221 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,375 WHEAT?" 222 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,476 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 223 00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:18,911 ARE YOU FUCKING ME? 224 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,079 I CONSIDER MYSELF A SMART MAN-- 225 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,814 THE GLASSES-- BUT THE ONLY 226 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,382 THING HE SAID THAT "KIND" OF 227 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,450 MADE SENSE IS THAT BLUE JELLY 228 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,384 EQUALS BLUEBERRY. 229 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,151 NOW, WOULD I HAVE KNOWN THAT TO 230 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:29,555 ORDER A BLUEBERRY WAFFLE, YOU 231 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,189 HAVE TO PUT BUTTER ON THE GRILL 232 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,790 LINE RIGHT SIDE UP, BLUE JELLY 233 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,927 ON TOP? 234 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,128 NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. 235 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,796 NOT AFTER SEVERAL HINTS! 236 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,131 I FEEL LIKE I'M HAVING A 237 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,532 15-YEAR-OLD EXPLAIN EMOJIS TO 238 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:44,103 ME. 239 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,239 "LIPSTICK MEANS THURSDAY, BLONDE 240 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,809 HAIRCUT MEANS IBUPROFEN, 241 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,745 BRUNETTE HAIRCUT MEANS PHYSICS 242 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,479 HOMEWORK, AND SHRIMP MEANS 243 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,780 HAIRCUT. 244 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:55,848 WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS?" 245 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:56,715 AND IT GETS WORSE, BECAUSE 246 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,250 HERE'S AN OFFICIAL TRAINING 247 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:58,884 VIDEO EXPLAINING HOW TO CONVEY A 248 00:06:58,885 --> 00:06:59,985 SANDWICH ORDER. 249 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:00,986 HERE, YOU CAN SEE I PUT TWO 250 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,489 PICKLE SLICES IN THE NUMBER 251 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,289 THREE POSITION, WHICH TELLS ME 252 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,891 THIS IS A BACON SANDWICH. 253 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,526 IF I ADD A SLICE OF CHEESE TO 254 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,694 THE PLATE, I KNOW THIS IS A 255 00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:11,363 BACON CHEESE SANDWICH. 256 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:11,930 TO MAKE THIS A BACON EGG AND 257 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,233 CHEESE SANDWICH, I'LL ADD THIS 258 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,434 RIGHT SIDE UP MAYO PACKET TO THE 259 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,437 RIGHT SIDE OF THE PLATE. 260 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,505 DON'T LET THIS MAYO PACK CONFUSE 261 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,407 YOU. 262 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,474 AS LONG AS YOU SEE TWO PICKLES 263 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:23,876 ON THE PLATE, YOU KNOW THIS IS A 264 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,310 SANDWICH. 265 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:29,648 John: SORRY, BUT IF IT'S COOL 266 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:30,282 WITH YOU, I AM GOING TO LET THAT 267 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:34,386 MAYO PACKET CONFUSE ME. 268 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,789 BECAUSE I FEEL INSANE RIGHT NOW. 269 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,389 I WAS CONFUSED WHEN YOU SAID 270 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,223 "TWO PICKLE SLICES IN THE NUMBER 271 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,291 THREE POSITION MEANS BACON 272 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,325 SANDWICH." 273 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:40,893 YOU COULD HAVE SAID, "VINCE 274 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,361 VAUGHN AT A CHRISTENING ON 275 00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:43,395 FOURTH OF JULY MEANS CHEESE 276 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,029 OMELET" AND IT WOULD'VE HAD THE 277 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,397 SAME EFFECT ON ME. 278 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,031 BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AM 279 00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,499 I LOOKING AT? 280 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,100 THAT'S A PLATE WITH TWO LOOSE 281 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,268 PICKLE SLICES, A KRAFT SINGLE, 282 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,569 AND AN UNOPENED MAYO PACKET. 283 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,804 THAT'S NOT A FORM OF 284 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,137 COMMUNICATION. 285 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:52,805 IT LOOKS LIKE DINNER AT THE FYRE 286 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:58,177 FESTIVAL. 287 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,279 IF YOU WORK AT WAFFLE HOUSE, YOU 288 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,449 MIGHT BE A GENIUS! 289 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,550 I THINK A YOUTUBE COMMENTER 290 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,150 BELOW THAT VIDEO SAID IT BEST: 291 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,085 "I'M A 911 DISPATCHER. 292 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,786 I DEAL WITH GENUINE LIFE OR 293 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:08,354 DEATH SITUATIONS. 294 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,555 I WOULD RATHER TAKE A SHOTS 295 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,023 FIRED CALL THAN ATTEMPT TO 296 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:11,657 UNDERSTAND WHATEVER THE FUCK IS 297 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,791 HAPPENING HERE." 298 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,360 THE POINT IS, IN A WORLD THAT 299 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,762 SEEMS TO BE SPIRALING OUT OF 300 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,696 CONTROL, IT SEEMS THERE ARE AT 301 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,098 LEAST A FEW THINGS WE CAN STILL 302 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,367 COUNT ON: WAFFLE HOUSE WILL STAY 303 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,370 OPEN TO A GENUINELY 304 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,070 IRRESPONSIBLE EXTENT. 305 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:31,477 JELLY MEANS EGGS. 306 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,344 IF YOU PUT A BUTTER CONTAINER 307 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,045 DOWN RIGHT-SIDE UP, YOU'RE 308 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,247 GETTING A WAFFLE. 309 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:35,914 AND THIS SONG. 310 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:36,482 ♪ ♪ 311 00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,082 IS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE YOUR 312 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:37,616 FUCKING HEAD. 313 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:42,521 AND, NOW THIS. 314 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,923 AND NOW, LOCAL NEWS TRIES TO 315 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,326 MAKE SENSE OF VANDERBILT FANS 316 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,227 THROWING THEIR GOALPOST INTO A 317 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:48,627 RIVER. 318 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,529 THESE FOOTBALL FANS WERE 319 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,264 ACTUALLY HAPPY AS THEY THREW 320 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,667 THEIR OWN FOOTBALL STADIUM'S 321 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,168 GOLD POST INTO THE 322 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,069 CUMBERLAND RIVER. 323 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,504 THEY WERE CELEBRATED VANDERBILT 324 00:08:58,505 --> 00:08:59,204 UNIVERSITY'S WOULD MAKE OVER 325 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,372 ALABAMA. 326 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,674 SPEAK OF THE STUDENTS MARCHED 327 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,342 SEVERAL MILES AND THEN TOSSED 328 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,777 THE GOALPOST INTO THE CUMBERLAND RIVER. 329 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:05,244 WHAT'S? 330 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,479 I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DID 331 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,081 THAT, BUT OKAY. 332 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,883 GOALPOST BEING PARADED DOWN 333 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:11,650 BROADWAY. 334 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:12,217 HMM. 335 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,520 YOU KNOW YOU DO? 336 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:15,421 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THROWING 337 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,524 IT IN THE RIVER, BUT OKAY, GOOD 338 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:18,891 FOR THEM. 339 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,860 THAT'S CRAZY, OH, MY 340 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:22,127 GOODNESS. 341 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,328 GOOD TIMES FOR THEM. 342 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,363 RIGHT. 343 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,632 THIS IS THEFT, DESTRUCTION OF 344 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:27,299 PROPERTY. 345 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:27,866 ... 346 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,034 RIGHT? 347 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,303 I DON'T KNOW. 348 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:31,870 YOU ARE RIGHT. 349 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:32,738 PARADED AROUND IN THE STREET 350 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,506 AND THROW IT IN THE WATERWAY? 351 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,441 HOW MANY LAWS ARE WE BREAKING 352 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,275 HERE? 353 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,676 HAVE YOU BEEN TO BROADWAY 354 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:37,910 BEFORE? 355 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,212 IF YOU GO DOWN THERE AND PEOPLE 356 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,513 ARE EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING, 357 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,481 IT'S NEVER-- 358 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,382 A FREE-FOR-ALL, JUST DO WHAT 359 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,318 I WANT ON BROADWAY? 360 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:46,919 YES. 361 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:47,653 PEOPLE THROW STUFF IN THE 362 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:50,055 CUMBERLAND ALL THE TIME. 363 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,290 CHEESEBURGERS, FURNITURE. 364 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,292 I CAN'T. 365 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,527 John: MOVING ON. 366 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:56,161 OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT IS ABOUT 367 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,262 VOTING. 368 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,831 THE ONLY ADULT ENDEAVOR THAT 369 00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,264 GIVES OUT STICKERS. 370 00:09:59,265 --> 00:09:59,665 WHICH IS A SHAME. 371 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:02,034 THERE SHOULD BE MORE OF THEM. 372 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:02,668 "I VOTED" IS NICE, BUT I'D ALSO 373 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:03,535 LIKE "I WENT TO THE DENTIST," OR 374 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:04,470 "I DID MY TAXES," OR "I JOGGED," 375 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,538 OR "FULL DISCLOSURE, I DIDN'T GO 376 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,873 TO THE DENTIST" I MADE AN 377 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:08,807 APPOINTMENT FOR THE DENTIST, BUT 378 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,844 THAT ISN'T NOTHING." 379 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,478 THAT SAID, GETTING A STICKER FOR 380 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,379 VOTING IS CERTAINLY WELCOME, AND 381 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,381 AS WE'VE MENTIONED BEFORE, IF 382 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:16,015 YOU LIVE IN MICHIGAN, YOU MIGHT 383 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:23,089 GET A REALLY GOOD ONE THIS YEAR. 384 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,090 12 YEAR OLD JANE HYNOUS IS 385 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,525 THE ARTIST BEHIND THIS CREATION. 386 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,459 IT'S ACTUALLY ONE OF NINE 387 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,293 STICKERS THAT MICHIGAN VOTERS 388 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:28,927 WILL RECEIVE AFTER CASTING THEIR 389 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:29,595 BALLOTS. 390 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,195 I WANT IT TO BE A SYMBOL OF 391 00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,930 POWERFULNESS. 392 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:32,464 I WANT PEOPLE TO BE 393 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,900 PROUD OF IT WHEN THEY'RE VOTING. 394 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:35,434 WHEN THEY ACTUALLY GET THE 395 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:36,502 STICKER, IT'S LIKE "HEY, I JUST 396 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,336 VOTED," AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S 397 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,271 PRETTY ENCOURAGING, I THINK. 398 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,606 John: YEAH, IT IS! 399 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:47,546 AND THE FOUNDING FATHERS SHOULD 400 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,147 FRANKLY BE ASHAMED THEY DIDN'T 401 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,848 COMPLIMENTARY WEREWOLF SWAG. 402 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:50,449 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK NEARLY 403 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,784 250 YEARS FOR A YOUNG MICHIGAN 404 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:52,451 GENIUS TO SOLVE THAT OBVIOUS 405 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,886 FLAW IN OUR DEMOCRACY. 406 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:54,486 THIS ELECTION IS INEXPLICABLY 407 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,654 CLOSE. 408 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,221 THE AVERAGE OF POLLS IN THE 409 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,090 SEVEN KEY BATTLEGROUND STATES 410 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,058 ALL SHOW THE CANDIDATES WITHIN 411 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,793 ONE OR TWO POINTS. 412 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:01,427 AND IF YOU HEARD THAT AND DIDN'T 413 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,561 SHIT YOURSELF, CONGRATULATIONS, 414 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,263 YOU JUST EARNED A STICKER FOR 415 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:08,701 THAT. 416 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,403 CLEARLY WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S 417 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,204 AHEAD ON ELECTION NIGHT, THOUGH 418 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:12,838 I CAN CONFIDENTLY PREDICT A FEW 419 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,274 THINGS. 420 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,308 FIRST: A LITTLE KHAKI NERD ARMED 421 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,209 WITH A TOUCHSCREEN WILL INSPIRE 422 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:17,843 SOME OF THE MOST DEPRAVED THIRST 423 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,978 TWEETS THE INTERNET'S EVER SEEN. 424 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:20,512 SECOND, REGARDLESS OF THE 425 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,281 RESULTS, NATE SILVER WILL TWEET 426 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,482 "ACTUALLY, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT 427 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,116 I SAID COULD HAPPEN" IN A HEATED 428 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,151 ARGUMENT WITH A 14-YEAR-OLD WITH 429 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,653 A SPONGEBOB AVATAR WHO ONLY 430 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,854 TWEETS "NATE SILVER PEES UPSIDE 431 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,589 DOWN." 432 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:31,223 AND FINALLY: IF TRUMP LOSES, HE 433 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,692 WILL NOT CONCEDE GRACEFULLY. 434 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,293 HE'S ALREADY SAID HE'LL ONLY 435 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,561 ACCEPT THE RESULTS "IF IT'S A 436 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,061 FAIR AND LEGAL AND GOOD 437 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:38,163 ELECTION." 438 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:38,697 AND HE'S BEEN LAYING THE 439 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,532 GROUNDWORK TO CRY FOUL IF HE 440 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,835 LOSES. 441 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:43,469 THE ONLY THING THEY DO WELL, 442 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:43,902 THEY CHEAT. 443 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,170 THEIR POLICIES ARE NO GOOD. 444 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,572 THEIR GOVERNMENT IS NO GOOD. 445 00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:47,206 THEIR MANAGEMENT IS NO GOOD, BUT 446 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,240 THEY CHEAT LIKE NOBODY CAN 447 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,174 CHEAT. 448 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:49,975 THEY CHEAT. 449 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:50,909 THEY CHEATED IN THE LAST 450 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,511 ELECTION AND THEY'RE GONNA CHEAT 451 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:55,247 IN THIS ELECTION. 452 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:55,748 LOOK: IF WE CAN KEEP THE 453 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,317 CHEATING DOWN TO A MINIMUM, 454 00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,418 BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE CHEAT - 455 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:02,021 THEY CHEAT LIKE HELL. 456 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,422 IF WE CAN KEEP IT DOWN TO A 457 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:08,293 MINIMUM, WE WIN EASILY. 458 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:08,927 WE HAVE TO VOTE, AND WE HAVE TO 459 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,362 MAKE SURE THAT WE STOP THEM FROM 460 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:10,929 CHEATING, BECAUSE THEY CHEAT 461 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:13,532 LIKE DOGS. 462 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,133 John: LOOK: I GET HE'S JUST 463 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:14,767 TRYING TO RILE UP HIS BASE, BUT 464 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:15,367 I WON'T SIT IDLY BY WHILE HE 465 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,269 SLANDERS DOGS. 466 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,904 HEY, DOGS: LOOK AT ME. 467 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,338 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. 468 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:19,738 YOU ARE SPECIAL. 469 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,339 YOU MATTER. 470 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,106 AS FOR CATS? 471 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,442 YOU DON'T NEED MY VALIDATION, 472 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:30,517 AND YOU KNOW IT. 473 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:36,188 TRUMP AND HIS CAMPAIGN HAVE 474 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,723 CO-OPTED THE PHRASE "ELECTION 475 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,357 INTERFERENCE" TO REFER TO PRETTY 476 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,258 MUCH ANYTHING: FROM THE MULTIPLE 477 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:39,892 INDICTMENTS AGAINST HIM, TO THE 478 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,393 FED'S RECENT DECISION TO CUT 479 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:41,994 INTEREST RATES, WITH TRUMP AT 480 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,263 ONE POINT EVEN POSTING "ELECTION 481 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,964 INTERFERENCE, NEVER SURRENDER!" 482 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:46,432 WITH HIS OWN MUGSHOT. 483 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,032 AND FOR THE RECORD, THAT'S A 484 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:47,599 TERRIBLE MUGSHOT. 485 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,367 JOHNNY CASH? 486 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,001 THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT: LAID-BACK, 487 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:49,668 COOL. 488 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:50,135 FRANK SINATRA? 489 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:50,736 MY MY MY, THAT GUY FUCKS, AM I 490 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,471 RIGHT, RONAN? 491 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,038 TRUMP'S, ON THE OTHER HAND, 492 00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,306 LOOKS LIKE THE PHOTOGRAPHER 493 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:54,940 ASKED HIM IF HE COULD SHIT FROM 494 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:55,574 STANDING. 495 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,275 THE POINT IS, WE NEED BE READY 496 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,743 FOR THE POSSIBILITY THE MESS 497 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,144 THAT HAPPENED LAST TIME COULD 498 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,479 HAPPEN AGAIN. 499 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,113 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE TRUMP HASN'T 500 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,915 FACED ANY REAL CONSEQUENCES FOR 501 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,451 IT, EVEN BRAGGING HE'S BECOME 502 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,185 MORE POPULAR IN THE WAKE OF HIS 503 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,586 INDICTMENT. 504 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,989 IT'S SO CRAZY THAT MY POLL 505 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,591 NUMBERS GO UP. 506 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,427 WHOEVER HEARD, YOU GET INDICTED 507 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,863 FOR INTERFERING WITH A 508 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,365 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WHERE 509 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,400 YOU'RE-- HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DO 510 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,602 IT, YOU GET INDICTED, AND YOUR 511 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,536 POLL NUMBERS GO UP. 512 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,437 John: YEAH, IT IS FUCKING 513 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,239 CRAZY! 514 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,007 WHEN THE WATERGATE TAPES CAME 515 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,508 OUT, NIXON HAD TO RESIGN IN 516 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,211 DISGRACE. 517 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:32,745 IF IT HAPPENED TODAY, HE'D 518 00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:33,579 PROBABLY BE ABLE TO RELEASE THEM 519 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:39,051 ALL AS AN AUDIOBOOK AND WIN A 520 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:39,585 GRAMMY. 521 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:43,956 BUT IT'S MORE THAN JUST TALK. 522 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:44,790 TRUMP AND HIS SUPPORTERS HAVE 523 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:45,424 TAKEN ACTIVE STEPS TO UNDERMINE 524 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,759 THE UPCOMING ELECTION. 525 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,459 AND GIVEN IT'S NOW JUST OVER 526 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,727 THREE WEEKS AWAY, LET'S TALK 527 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:49,361 ABOUT SOME OF THE ATTEMPTS 528 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,929 THEY'VE MADE TO SUBVERT THIS 529 00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:51,830 ELECTION. 530 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,865 AND WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON A 531 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:53,832 FEW AREAS: THE LIES THEY'VE TOLD 532 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,668 TO UNDERMINE CONFIDENCE IN THE 533 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,301 PROCESS, THE STEPS THEY'VE TAKEN 534 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,837 TO SOW CHAOS IN THE VOTER ROLLS, 535 00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,605 AND THE GROUNDWORK THEY'VE LAID 536 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,773 TO TURN THE POST-ELECTION PERIOD 537 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:01,573 INTO A NIGHTMARE. 538 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,141 AND LET'S START BY BRIEFLY 539 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,575 REVISITING WHAT HAPPENED LAST 540 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,910 TIME. 541 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:05,678 BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY REMEMBER 542 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,479 THE BIGGEST HEADLINES-- TRUMP 543 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,013 REFUSING TO CONCEDE WHICH 544 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:08,647 ULTIMATELY LED TO JANUARY 6th-- 545 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,283 BUT SO MUCH OTHER WEIRD SHIT 546 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:14,053 HAPPENED YOU MAY'VE BLOCKED OUT. 547 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:14,687 LIKE WHEN GIULIANI INSISTED WILL 548 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,489 SMITH'S LATE FATHER HAD VOTED, 549 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,090 OR WHEN THE THEORY SPREAD THAT 550 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,459 AN ITALIAN DEFENSE CONTRACTOR 551 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,493 WORKED WITH U.S. INTELLIGENCE TO 552 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,327 RIG THE ELECTION, OR WHEN A 553 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,662 GROUP CALLED "CYBER NINJAS," 554 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,464 AUDITED THE BALLOTS IN ARIZONA 555 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,999 -- AND AS THIS OUTSIDE OBSERVER 556 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:27,800 NOTED, THEY WERE LOOKING FOR THE 557 00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:32,137 WEIRDEST POSSIBLE SMOKING GUN. 558 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:32,705 THERE'S ACCUSATIONS THAT 559 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:36,275 40,000 BALLOTS WERE FLOWN IN. 560 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:36,608 TO ARIZONA? 561 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,277 TO ARIZONA, AND IT WAS 562 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,213 STUFFED INTO THE BOX. 563 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:41,413 OKAY? 564 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,648 AND IT CAME FROM THE SOUTHEAST 565 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,283 PART OF THE WORLD, ASIA. 566 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,351 OKAY? 567 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:45,984 AND - AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS 568 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,686 TO FIND OUT IF THERE'S BAMBOO IN 569 00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:50,389 THE PAPER. 570 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,291 John: YEAH-- "CYBER NINJAS" 571 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:56,028 TRIED TO PROVE FOREIGN 572 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,029 INTERFERENCE BY LOOKING FOR 573 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,964 BAMBOO IN THE BALLOT PAPER, 574 00:14:58,965 --> 00:14:59,598 WHICH FEELS LIKE THE PLOT OF A 575 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,100 RACIST STRAIGHT-TO-STREAMING 576 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:01,734 POLITICAL THRILLER WHERE STEVEN 577 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:02,601 SEAGAL SAVES PRESIDENT JAMES 578 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,137 WOODS FROM WOKENESS. 579 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,739 THE LAST ELECTION WAS INCREDIBLY 580 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,373 DUMB, BUT LET'S NOT FORGET: IT 581 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,675 WAS ALSO INCREDIBLY STUPID. 582 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,642 AND ALL THIS HAPPENED DESPITE A 583 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,278 JOINT STATEMENT FROM FEDERAL 584 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:13,779 ELECTION INFRASTRUCTURE 585 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,014 OFFICIALS, CALLING IT THE MOST 586 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:15,581 SECURE ELECTION IN AMERICAN 587 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,949 HISTORY. 588 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,018 NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS, THERE'VE 589 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:19,852 BEEN SOME POSITIVE DEVELOPMENTS 590 00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:21,387 SINCE THEN. 591 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,389 CONGRESS PASSED THIS ACT WHICH, 592 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,556 AMONG OTHER THINGS, EXPLICITLY 593 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,657 PREVENTS A VICE PRESIDENT FROM 594 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,359 JUST THROWING OUT VOTES THEY 595 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:27,960 DON'T LIKE, AS TRUMP FAMOUSLY 596 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,628 URGED PENCE TO DO. 597 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,997 ALSO, TRUMP'S NOT AN INCUMBENT 598 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:32,664 THIS TIME, SO HE CAN'T DO THINGS 599 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,401 LIKE PRESSURE THE DOJ TO 600 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,468 LEGITIMIZE CLAIMS OF FRAUD. 601 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,836 AND FINALLY, THE ELECTION 602 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,104 DENIERS WHO RAN TO BE THE CHIEF 603 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,673 ELECTION OFFICERS IN SWING 604 00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:43,409 STATES IN 2022 ALL LOST. 605 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,178 THAT'S GREAT! 606 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,013 UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S ALSO 607 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:48,614 BASICALLY THE END OF THE GOOD 608 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,916 NEWS HERE. 609 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:51,483 BECAUSE THE FALSE CLAIMS OF 610 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:52,451 ELECTION FRAUD HAVE STUCK. 611 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,119 A POLL IN JANUARY FOUND MORE 612 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,387 THAN ONE-THIRD OF AMERICANS 613 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:55,954 STILL DO NOT ACCEPT BIDEN'S 614 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,792 VICTORY AS LEGITIMATE. 615 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:00,859 AND TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES HAVE 616 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,194 BEEN RAMPING UP THEIR LIES AS 617 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,062 ELECTION DAY APPROACHES. 618 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,363 AND I WANT TO FOCUS ON ONE IN 619 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,564 PARTICULAR: THE CLAIM THAT A LOT 620 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,198 OF NON-CITIZENS ARE GOING TO BE 621 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,701 VOTING. 622 00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,703 THAT CLAIM'S NOTHING NEW FOR 623 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:11,303 TRUMP, OR INDEED REPUBLICANS, 624 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:11,904 BUT HE'S NOW PUSHING IT LIKE 625 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:18,978 NEVER BEFORE. 626 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,213 RIGHT NOW, YOU HAVE ILLEGAL 627 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,281 ALIENS COMING INTO OUR COUNTRY, 628 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,148 MANY FROM PRISONS AND MANY FROM 629 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,717 MENTAL INSTITUTIONS, AND THEY 630 00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:25,951 WANT TO GIVE THEM VOTES. 631 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,386 A LOT OF THESE ILLEGAL 632 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:27,986 IMMIGRANTS COMING IN, THEY'RE 633 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:28,554 TRYING TO GET THEM TO VOTE. 634 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,055 THEY CAN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH, 635 00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:34,293 THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 636 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:35,060 COUNTRY THEY'RE IN, PRACTICALLY, 637 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:35,928 AND THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO 638 00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:37,296 GET THEM TO VOTE. 639 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:37,896 THEY ARE WORKING FULL TIME TO 640 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:38,997 SIGN THESE PEOPLE-- MANY OF 641 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:39,565 THEM MURDERERS-- TO VOTE SO 642 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,334 THEY CAN CHEAT ON THE ELECTION. 643 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:42,968 John: SKIPPING THE FACT THAT 644 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,937 THIS THEORY'S CAKED IN RACISM; 645 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:48,340 HOW DOES IT EVEN MAKE SENSE? 646 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,475 YOU REALLY THINK PEOPLE WOULD 647 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,342 FLEE THEIR HOMES, TRAVEL UNDER 648 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,544 DANGEROUS CONDITIONS TO ENTER 649 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,880 THIS COUNTRY, JUST TO VOTE? 650 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:55,547 IT'S LIKE ASSUMING SOMEONE WOULD 651 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,548 BREAK INTO A BANK JUST SO THEY 652 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:57,583 COULD FREE THE PENS FROM THEIR 653 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,084 CHAINS. 654 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:01,687 WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? 655 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,156 IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK! 656 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,492 BUT TRUMP'S NOT ALONE IN PUSHING 657 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:07,659 THIS CLAIM. 658 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:08,327 HE HAS SUPPORT FROM CONSERVATIVE 659 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,294 THINK TANKS LIKE THE HERITAGE 660 00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,129 FOUNDATION: THE SAME GROUP THAT 661 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,764 BROUGHT YOU "PROJECT 2025," 662 00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:12,364 WHICH STARTED SOMETHING CALLED 663 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,634 "THE OVERSIGHT PROJECT." 664 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:16,268 THIS SUMMER, THEY RELEASED THIS 665 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:16,869 VIDEO, WHICH GOT A LOT OF PLAY 666 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,738 IN RIGHT-WING CIRCLES. 667 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:20,372 THE APARTMENT COMPLEX "ELIOT 668 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:24,843 NORCROSS" IN NORCROSS, GEORGIA 669 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:25,444 IS OCCUPIED PRIMARILY BY 670 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,646 NONCITIZENS. 671 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:28,247 WE VISITED THE COMPLEX TO ASK 672 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,348 RESIDENTS TWO QUESTIONS: "ARE 673 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,350 YOU A CITIZEN?" 674 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:31,884 AND "ARE YOU REGISTERED TO 675 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,352 VOTE?" 676 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:33,952 SHOCKINGLY, 14% OF RESPONDENTS 677 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,755 ADMITTED TO BEING NONCITIZENS 678 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,524 REGISTERED TO VOTE. 679 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:39,124 WE COME FROM A COMPANY THAT 680 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,726 IS DEDICATED TO REGISTERING 681 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,360 HISPANIC PEOPLE SO THEY CAN VOTE 682 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,662 IN UPCOMING ELECTIONS. 683 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:44,263 ARE YOU ALREADY REGISTERED? 684 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,130 WE ALREADY VOTED. 685 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,665 YOU ALREADY VOTED? 686 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:46,899 YES. 687 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,168 ARE YOU A CITIZEN OR• 688 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:49,935 UH, NO. 689 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,203 NO? 690 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:51,704 HAVE YOU ALREADY BEEN 691 00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:52,805 REGISTERED OR• 692 00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:53,205 YEAH. 693 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,606 YEAH? 694 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,808 ARE YOU A CITIZEN OR• 695 00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:58,610 NO. 696 00:17:58,611 --> 00:17:58,811 NO? 697 00:17:58,812 --> 00:17:59,445 John: THAT VIDEO GOT BOOSTED 698 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,713 BY ELON MUSK, WHO CALLED IT 699 00:18:00,714 --> 00:18:02,481 "EXTREMELY DISTURBING," AND IT 700 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,550 WENT VIRAL, DESPITE THE FACT THE 701 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,851 OVERSIGHT PROJECT ITSELF 702 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,419 ADMITTED IT WAS UNABLE TO FIND 703 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,587 THE PEOPLE THEY TALKED TO ON THE 704 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,190 STATE VOTER ROLLS. 705 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,224 AND STATE INVESTIGATORS FOUND NO 706 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,092 EVIDENCE THAT ANY OF THE SEVEN 707 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,127 PEOPLE ON THAT TAPE HAD EVER 708 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,495 REGISTERED TO VOTE. 709 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,629 MEANWHILE, ONE OF THE WOMEN 710 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,398 FEATURED CONFIRMED SHE WASN'T 711 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,699 REGISTERED TO VOTE, AND ONLY 712 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,300 SAID SHE WAS BECAUSE SHE JUST 713 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,736 WANTED THEM TO GO AWAY. 714 00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,237 AND NO SHIT. 715 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,472 I DON'T CARE WHO'S AT THE DOOR: 716 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:29,141 I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 717 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,142 IT COULD BE ME COMING FROM THE 718 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,810 FUTURE WITH A DIRE NECESSARY 719 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,379 WARNING: I'M NOT LISTENING, I'M 720 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,180 JUST NODDING, AND I'M SLOWLY 721 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,515 CLOSING THE DOOR AS WE'RE 722 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,983 TALKING. 723 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,385 AND YET THEY CLAIMED THAT, IF 724 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,120 THE 14% HIT RATE THEY'D FOUND 725 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,023 HELD TRUE STATE WIDE, IT'D 726 00:18:44,024 --> 00:18:44,490 EQUATE TO OVER 47,000 727 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,959 NON-CITIZENS REGISTERED TO VOTE 728 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:53,599 IN GEORGIA. 729 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,867 AND LOOK, OBVIOUSLY THE IDEA 730 00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:55,334 THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF 731 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:55,801 NON-CITIZENS VOTING IS 732 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,804 RIDICULOUS. 733 00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,371 FOR ONE THING, WHEN GEORGIA 734 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,105 LOOKED BACK OVER 25 YEARS OF ITS 735 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,607 ELECTIONS, IT FOUND THAT OF THE 736 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,174 1,600 PEOPLE WHO'D TRIED TO 737 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,375 REGISTER TO VOTE, AND WHOSE 738 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:03,876 CITIZENSHIP COULD NOT BE 739 00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:04,677 VERIFIED, NONE OF THEM HAD CAST 740 00:19:04,678 --> 00:19:05,711 BALLOTS. 741 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:06,211 PLUS, AN ANALYSIS OF THE 742 00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,713 HERITAGE FOUNDATION'S OWN 743 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:08,914 NATIONWIDE DATABASE OF 1,500 744 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,049 "PROVEN INSTANCES OF VOTER 745 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,751 FRAUD" FOUND JUST 68 DOCUMENTED 746 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,186 CASES OF NONCITIZENS' VOTING, 747 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,788 GOING ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE 748 00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:18,190 1980S, WITH JUST 10 INVOLVING 749 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,625 PEOPLE LIVING IN THE COUNTRY 750 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,927 ILLEGALLY. 751 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:22,494 10 PEOPLE IN THE LAST FOUR 752 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,096 DECADES. 753 00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:26,465 THAT'S STATISTICALLY NOTHING. 754 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:27,166 MORE PEOPLE DIE FROM HIPPO 755 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:30,269 ATTACKS EVERY YEAR. 756 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,737 JUST SOMETHING FUN TO THINK 757 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,338 ABOUT NEXT TIME YOU'RE FAWNING 758 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,539 OVER PICTURES OF MOO DENG. 759 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,308 SHE COULD KILL YOU. 760 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:36,875 SHE WOULD KILL YOU. 761 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,011 AND HAPPILY. 762 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,212 AND THAT VIDEO ISN'T EVEN THE 763 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,714 WEIRDEST LIE ABOUT NON-CITIZENS 764 00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:43,716 THAT'S BEEN PASSED AROUND. 765 00:19:43,717 --> 00:19:44,283 MARIA BARTIROMO SPREAD THIS 766 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,517 DOOZY. 767 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,585 WHAT ABOUT ALL THESE 768 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:49,455 IMMIGRANTS AT THESE DMV OFFICES 769 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,357 WHERE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TRY TO 770 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,991 GO GET A LICENSE? 771 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:53,625 THEY CAN'T GET AN APPOINTMENT AT 772 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,661 THE DMV, BECAUSE IT'S JAM PACKED 773 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,929 WITH ILLEGALS. 774 00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,298 THE PERSON THAT SPOKE TO ME 775 00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,666 ABOUT THIS THIS WEEKEND 776 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,968 IDENTIFIED SEVERAL PLACES IN 777 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,203 TEXAS WHERE HE COULDN'T GET IN. 778 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,571 THE FIRST ONE WAS IN 779 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,639 WEATHERFORD: A MASSIVE LINE OF 780 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,341 IMMIGRANTS GETTING LICENSES. 781 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,442 THEY HAD A TENT AND A TABLE 782 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,143 OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR OF THE 783 00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,979 DMV REGISTERING THEM TO VOTE. 784 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:14,613 IT WAS ALL-- THE SIGNS WERE IN 785 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,914 SPANISH. 786 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:16,648 IT WAS AN OBVIOUS DEMOCRAT 787 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,550 OPERATION ON THIS VOTING, HE 788 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,651 SAID. 789 00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:20,252 John: OKAY, WE'LL GET INTO 790 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,620 WHY THAT'S NONSENSE IN A SECOND, 791 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,355 BUT I'M GENUINELY CURIOUS ABOUT 792 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,523 THE PERSON WHO SAW A MASSIVE 793 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:27,059 LINE AT THE DMV AND THEIR 794 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,527 INSTINCT WAS "THIS MUST BE 795 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:29,595 'ILLEGALS' REGISTERING TO VOTE" 796 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,430 AND NOT "THE DMV FUNCTIONING 797 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,031 LIKE IT HAS SINCE THE DAWN OF 798 00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:33,232 TIME." 799 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:33,899 DO THEY BLAME ALL COMMON 800 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,635 INCONVENIENCES ON IMMIGRATION? 801 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:37,236 "SHIT, BURNED MY MOUTH ON THIS 802 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,303 COFFEE. 803 00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:40,305 THE ILLEGALS MUST BE BREWING IT 804 00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:41,674 EXTRA HOT TO BURN OUR TONGUES 805 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:45,077 INTO SILENCE!" 806 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,979 AND WHILE YOU MIGHT 807 00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:47,613 INSTINCTIVELY KNOW THAT CLAIM IS 808 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:48,614 BULLSHIT, IT'S EVEN DUMBER THAN 809 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,782 YOU THINK, AS BARTIROMO 810 00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:51,350 EXPLAINED HER SOURCE WAS "A 811 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:54,520 FRIEND OF A FRIEND'S WIFE." 812 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:55,487 SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T STOP HER 813 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,489 HAPPILY REGURGITATING IT ON THE 814 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,624 NEWS. 815 00:20:58,625 --> 00:20:59,224 AND IF YOU LIKE THAT, YOU CAN 816 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:02,628 FIND WELL-SOURCED STORIES LIKE 817 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:03,228 IT ON "FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD 818 00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:04,596 FORWARD WITH YOUR DRUNKEST 819 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,099 AUNT," SUNDAYS AT 10:00 ON FOX 820 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:07,466 BUSINESS. 821 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,067 UNSURPRISINGLY, THOSE CLAIMS 822 00:21:08,068 --> 00:21:09,168 WERE QUICKLY DEBUNKED. 823 00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:11,303 FOR ONE THING, WEATHERFORD, 824 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,037 TEXAS, DOESN'T HAVE A DMV. 825 00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:12,638 AND IN THE PLACE YOU CAN GET A 826 00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,373 DRIVERS' LICENSE-- THE 827 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,608 DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY-- 828 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,276 NO SUCH TENTS OR TABLES WERE SET 829 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,544 UP OUTSIDE THE OFFICE ALL THAT 830 00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:20,212 WEEK. 831 00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:21,413 AND, EVEN IF THIS HAD HAPPENED 832 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:22,915 -- WHICH IT DIDN'T-- AS THE 833 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:23,916 LOCAL GOP CHAIR EXPLAINED, ALL 834 00:21:23,917 --> 00:21:26,318 VOTER REGISTRATIONS ARE UPLOADED 835 00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,252 TO THE TEXAS SECRETARY OF 836 00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:29,054 STATE'S DATABASE TO VERIFY 837 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:31,190 APPLICANTS' ELIGIBILITY TO VOTE, 838 00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:32,624 INCLUDING CITIZENSHIP, AND NOT 839 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,159 ONLY HAD THERE BEEN NO RECENT 840 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,462 INSTANCES OF INELIGIBLE 841 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:36,995 INDIVIDUALS ATTEMPTING TO 842 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,131 REGISTER IN THAT COUNTY: THERE 843 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:39,898 HAD ONLY BEEN TWO IN THE LAST 15 844 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:43,002 YEARS. 845 00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:44,303 AND YET, JUST TWO DAYS AFTER 846 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:46,505 BARTIROMO SPEWED THAT ON 847 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:47,306 NATIONAL TV, TEXAS AG KEN PAXTON 848 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,475 ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION INTO 849 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:50,709 "REPORTS THAT ORGANIZATIONS MAY 850 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:52,511 BE ILLEGALLY REGISTERING 851 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:53,979 NONCITIZENS TO VOTE." 852 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,080 AND THAT'S ACTUALLY A PATTERN 853 00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:58,017 FOR PAXTON. 854 00:21:58,018 --> 00:21:58,617 HE'LL LOUDLY START VOTER FRAUD 855 00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,886 INVESTIGATIONS, AND EVEN WHEN 856 00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:03,188 THEY AMOUNT TO NOTHING, HE'LL 857 00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:04,490 HAVE CREATED THE IMPRESSION 858 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:05,891 SOMETHING'S THERE. 859 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:06,525 IN FACT, THE SAME DAY HE 860 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:13,600 ANNOUNCED HE WAS LOOKING INTO 861 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,570 BARTIROMO'S CLAIMS, HIS OFFICE 862 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:19,705 ANNOUNCED A SEPARATE 863 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:20,806 INVESTIGATION INTO ALLEGATIONS 864 00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:21,874 OF ELECTION FRAUD AND VOTE 865 00:22:21,875 --> 00:22:23,375 HARVESTING TARGETING MEMBERS OF 866 00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,009 LULAC-- THE NATION'S OLDEST AND 867 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,010 LARGEST LATINO CIVIL RIGHTS 868 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:25,644 ORGANIZATION. 869 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:27,246 SOME OF ITS MEMBERS-- LIKE THIS 870 00:22:27,247 --> 00:22:28,147 WOMAN-- WERE EVEN SUBJECTS OF 871 00:22:28,148 --> 00:22:29,114 AN EARLY-MORNING RAID. 872 00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:29,715 THEY SCARED THE HELL OUT OF 873 00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:30,916 ME. 874 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:31,984 87-YEAR-OLD LIDIA MARTINEZ, 875 00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:32,484 WHO SAYS SHE IS LULAC'S 876 00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,719 LONGEST-SERVING VOLUNTEER, HAD 877 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:34,720 HER HOME RAIDED AS PART OF A 878 00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:35,688 VOTER FRAUD INVESTIGATION BY THE 879 00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:38,390 TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL. 880 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,124 MARTINEZ SAYS UP TO EIGHT 881 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,159 OFFICERS SHOWED UP AT HER HOME 882 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,660 LAST TUESDAY MORNING. 883 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,028 THEY TOOK HER PHONE, HER LAPTOP, 884 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,763 QUESTIONED HER FOR HOURS, AND 885 00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:47,433 MADE HER WAIT OUTSIDE. 886 00:22:47,434 --> 00:22:48,367 I SAID, "LET ME GET DRESSED," 887 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,202 AND SHE SAYS, "NO, GO OUTSIDE." 888 00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:52,137 WHAT WERE YOU WEARING? 889 00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:53,572 MY NIGHTGOWN, AND I HAD ALL 890 00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:55,974 THESE POLICEMEN AROUND ME. 891 00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:56,875 IT WAS EMBARRASSING, 892 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,244 HUMILIATING. 893 00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:00,546 I WAS SO ANGRY. 894 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,147 IT WAS HORRIBLE. 895 00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:03,582 John: YEAH, THEY HAULED AN 896 00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,117 87-YEAR-OLD GREAT-GRANDMOTHER 897 00:23:05,118 --> 00:23:06,085 OUT OF HER HOME IN HER 898 00:23:06,086 --> 00:23:12,658 NIGHTGOWN, WHICH IS APPALLING. 899 00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:13,359 PAXTON SHOULD KNOW, AS WE ALL 900 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,593 DO, A NIGHTGOWN IS ONE OF THE 901 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:15,728 WORST THINGS TO HAUL A GRANDMA 902 00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:20,232 OUT IN, RIGHT AFTER, WELL 903 00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:20,866 OBVIOUSLY, COFFIN-- DUH-- BUT 904 00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:22,434 THEN THERE'S A UHAUL, AN 905 00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:23,369 ANACONDA, AND FINALLY A NOVELTY 906 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:24,703 T-SHIRT READING "I SHAVED MY 907 00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:29,074 BALLS FOR THIS." 908 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,610 I THINK THAT'S THE WORST ONE. 909 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:32,745 AND WHILE, THANKFULLY, A FEDERAL 910 00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:33,545 JUDGE RECENTLY SHUT DOWN THAT 911 00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:35,114 INVESTIGATION, SAYING IT WAS 912 00:23:35,115 --> 00:23:36,348 UNCONSTITUTIONAL, THE FACT IS 913 00:23:36,349 --> 00:23:36,982 LIES AND BULLSHIT INVESTIGATIONS 914 00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:38,984 HAVE REAL CONSEQUENCES. 915 00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:40,686 51% OF ADULTS ARE APPARENTLY 916 00:23:40,687 --> 00:23:41,286 CONCERNED ABOUT NON-CITIZENS 917 00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:42,287 VOTING IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION, 918 00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:45,457 INCLUDING 83% OF REPUBLICANS. 919 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,626 AND SOME AREN'T WAITING FOR THE 920 00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,761 KEN PAXTONS OF THE WORLD TO TAKE 921 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,229 ACTION. 922 00:23:50,230 --> 00:23:52,131 WHICH BRINGS US TO THE FACT 923 00:23:52,132 --> 00:23:52,931 THERE ARE NOW WELL-FUNDED GROUPS 924 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:53,766 ACTIVELY TRYING TO, IN THEIR 925 00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:54,833 WORDS, "CLEAN UP" THE VOTER 926 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,002 ROLLS. 927 00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:57,636 HERE'S THE HEAD OF ONE OF THEM, 928 00:23:57,637 --> 00:24:01,640 "THE ELECTION INTEGRITY 929 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:02,274 NETWORK," EXPLAINING THE GENERAL 930 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:03,142 IDEA 931 00:24:03,143 --> 00:24:03,776 I REALIZED THAT WE NEEDED TO 932 00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:05,477 FOCUS ON THIS THREAT OF ILLEGALS 933 00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:07,746 VOTING IN NOVEMBER, BECAUSE I 934 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:08,981 ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE THAT THAT IS 935 00:24:08,982 --> 00:24:10,215 HOW THEY ARE PLANNING TO TRY TO 936 00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:12,751 STEAL THE ELECTION THIS YEAR. 937 00:24:12,752 --> 00:24:14,086 THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GOING TO-- 938 00:24:14,087 --> 00:24:16,989 WE'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO STOP 939 00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:17,923 THIS IS BY HAVING CITIZEN 940 00:24:17,924 --> 00:24:18,490 ACTION, LOOKING AT THE DMVS, 941 00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:21,260 LOOKING AT THE VOTER ROLLS IN 942 00:24:21,261 --> 00:24:21,827 YOUR COUNTY, LOOKING AT THE 943 00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:23,729 VOTER ROLLS, WATCHING AND 944 00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:24,730 BASICALLY CREATING A NATIONAL 945 00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:25,297 NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH TO TRY TO 946 00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:27,299 FIND THESE POCKETS OF 947 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:31,937 NONCITIZENS THAT ARE GETTING 948 00:24:31,938 --> 00:24:32,471 ADDED TO THE ROLLS. 949 00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:33,605 John: OKAY. 950 00:24:33,606 --> 00:24:35,074 FIRST, LET'S AGREE, EVERY 951 00:24:35,075 --> 00:24:35,708 "RUMBLE" SHOW LOOKS LIKE A HIGH 952 00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:37,076 SCHOOL A/V CLUB MEMBER 953 00:24:37,077 --> 00:24:38,344 INTERVIEWING THE ASSISTANT 954 00:24:38,345 --> 00:24:39,845 PRINCIPAL AFTER A SCHOOL-WIDE 955 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:40,846 HEELIES BAN. 956 00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:41,513 BUT ALSO-- "A NATIONAL 957 00:24:41,514 --> 00:24:42,648 NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH?" 958 00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:43,248 IT'S NOT GREAT THE MODEL THEY 959 00:24:43,249 --> 00:24:44,350 WANT TO EMULATE IS BASICALLY 960 00:24:44,351 --> 00:24:45,184 "WHAT IF RACIAL PROFILING WAS 961 00:24:45,185 --> 00:24:47,353 SOMEONE'S HOBBY?" 962 00:24:47,354 --> 00:24:48,320 THAT WOMAN IS A CONSERVATIVE 963 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:49,088 ACTIVIST NAMED CLETA MITCHELL, 964 00:24:49,089 --> 00:24:50,055 AND FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS, 965 00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:51,156 MEMBERS OF HER GROUP HAVE, AMONG 966 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,591 OTHER THINGS, BEEN SCRUTINIZING 967 00:24:52,592 --> 00:24:53,425 VOTER ROLLS, LOOKING FOR ANYONE 968 00:24:53,426 --> 00:24:55,094 THEY THINK SHOULDN'T BE ON 969 00:24:55,095 --> 00:24:55,561 THERE. 970 00:24:55,562 --> 00:24:56,295 AND THEY HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN SHY 971 00:24:56,296 --> 00:24:57,963 ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR. 972 00:24:57,964 --> 00:24:58,997 IN ONE ZOOM SESSION, AN ACTIVIST 973 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:00,799 FROM THE DETROIT AREA SUGGESTED 974 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,001 SEARCHING ROLLS FOR CERTAIN 975 00:25:02,002 --> 00:25:03,736 TYPES OF SURNAMES, SAYING THAT 976 00:25:03,737 --> 00:25:04,737 "I THINK IT'S UNFORTUNATE, BUT 977 00:25:04,738 --> 00:25:06,071 SOMETIMES THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN 978 00:25:06,072 --> 00:25:06,905 FIND OUT IS TO LOOK FOR ETHNIC 979 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:09,174 NAMES." 980 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:09,942 AND THANK GOODNESS THEY PREFACED 981 00:25:09,943 --> 00:25:11,477 THAT WITH "I THINK IT'S 982 00:25:11,478 --> 00:25:13,612 UNFORTUNATE." 983 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,514 FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT THAT 984 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:16,348 INSTRUCTION TO DO RACISM WAS 985 00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:18,984 COMING FROM A BAD PERSON. 986 00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:22,721 BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. 987 00:25:22,722 --> 00:25:23,422 GROUPS LIKE MITCHELL'S ARE NOW 988 00:25:23,423 --> 00:25:24,757 WORKING WITH COMPUTER PROGRAMS 989 00:25:24,758 --> 00:25:26,058 LIKE THESE, THAT AUTOMATE THE 990 00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:27,559 PROCESS OF FINDING VOTERS TO 991 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:27,826 CHALLENGE. 992 00:25:27,827 --> 00:25:28,894 FOR INSTANCE, THIS ONE TRAWLS 993 00:25:28,895 --> 00:25:30,529 THROUGH EVERYTHING FROM PUBLIC 994 00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:31,597 VOTER REGISTRATION DATA, TO 995 00:25:31,598 --> 00:25:32,431 BUSINESS RECORDS, TO 996 00:25:32,432 --> 00:25:35,300 CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS DATABASES, TO 997 00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:36,568 OBITUARIES TO FIND PEOPLE TO 998 00:25:36,569 --> 00:25:37,436 CHALLENGE, BECAUSE THEY MAY'VE 999 00:25:37,437 --> 00:25:38,370 DIED, MOVED, OR BE OTHERWISE 1000 00:25:38,371 --> 00:25:40,439 INELIGIBLE. 1001 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,073 USERS CAN THEN MAKE POTENTIALLY 1002 00:25:41,074 --> 00:25:43,776 THOUSANDS OF CHALLENGES TO VOTER 1003 00:25:43,777 --> 00:25:45,177 ELIGIBILITY WITH A FEW CLICKS, 1004 00:25:45,178 --> 00:25:47,479 AND SEND THEM TO LOCAL ELECTION 1005 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:48,181 OFFICIALS. 1006 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:54,486 AND WHILE THEY OFTEN CLAIM 1007 00:25:54,487 --> 00:25:55,921 THEY'RE "HELPING" ELECTION 1008 00:25:55,922 --> 00:25:56,555 BOARDS DO THEIR JOBS, OFFICIALS 1009 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:58,090 WILL TELL YOU: BEING ON THE 1010 00:25:58,091 --> 00:25:58,724 RECEIVING END OF AN AVALANCHE OF 1011 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,325 CHALLENGES IS EXHAUSTING-- 1012 00:26:00,326 --> 00:26:00,926 ESPECIALLY AS THEY'RE USUALLY 1013 00:26:00,927 --> 00:26:01,760 JUST REPLICATING WORK THAT'S 1014 00:26:01,761 --> 00:26:02,895 ALREADY HAPPENING. 1015 00:26:02,896 --> 00:26:03,595 THERE HAVE BEEN DAYS WHERE 1016 00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:04,797 I'VE RECEIVED A COUPLE THOUSAND 1017 00:26:04,798 --> 00:26:06,665 NAMES. 1018 00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:07,266 I'VE HAD TO LOOK EACH OF THOSE 1019 00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:09,535 VOTERS UP ONE BY ONE. 1020 00:26:09,536 --> 00:26:11,303 ROUGHLY 75-80% OF THE NAMES THEY 1021 00:26:11,304 --> 00:26:12,471 GIVE ME WE HAVE ALREADY DEALT 1022 00:26:12,472 --> 00:26:13,939 WITH. 1023 00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:15,908 AND THE REST OF THE NAMES? 1024 00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:17,142 WELL, YOU WOULD CATCH THEM 1025 00:26:17,143 --> 00:26:19,745 ANYWAY. 1026 00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:20,346 THERE'S SAFEGUARDS BUILT INTO 1027 00:26:20,347 --> 00:26:21,847 THE WHOLE SYSTEM FOR ANY ISSUE 1028 00:26:21,848 --> 00:26:28,821 YOU CAN DREAM OF. 1029 00:26:28,822 --> 00:26:29,722 John: EXACTLY. 1030 00:26:29,723 --> 00:26:30,356 THEY'RE BASICALLY JUST CREATING 1031 00:26:30,357 --> 00:26:31,423 BUSY WORK FOR THAT MAN, WHO 1032 00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:31,824 DOESN'T NEED THAT. 1033 00:26:31,825 --> 00:26:32,991 HE WORKS IN A GIANT WAREHOUSE 1034 00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:33,959 FULL OF SUITCASES THAT GETS SO 1035 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,893 LITTLE NATURAL LIGHT, THE ONLY 1036 00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:36,528 PLACE HE CAN GO ON VACATION IS 1037 00:26:36,529 --> 00:26:38,263 ON HIS SHIRT. 1038 00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:39,598 THAT MAN NEEDS A BEACH, A MAI 1039 00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:41,166 TAI, AND FOR ALL THE VIGILANTE 1040 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:42,634 VOTE POLICE TO LEAVE HIM THE 1041 00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:44,069 FUCK ALONE. 1042 00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:45,137 MOST OF THESE CITIZEN-LED 1043 00:26:45,138 --> 00:26:46,638 CHALLENGES ARE EITHER REDUNDANT 1044 00:26:46,639 --> 00:26:47,773 -- LIKE HE SAID-- OR FLAWED, 1045 00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:49,742 BECAUSE THEY'RE COMPLETELY 1046 00:26:49,743 --> 00:26:52,244 RELIANT ON PUBLIC DATABASES THAT 1047 00:26:52,245 --> 00:26:53,879 MAY CONTAIN ERRORS, WITHOUT 1048 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,381 HAVING ACCESS TO THE PROTECTED 1049 00:26:55,382 --> 00:26:57,116 PERSONAL INFORMATION AVAILABLE 1050 00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:59,284 TO ELECTION OFFICIALS. 1051 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:00,886 THAT'S WHY PROGRAMS LIKE THESE 1052 00:27:00,887 --> 00:27:01,954 CAN OFTEN GENERATE FALSE 1053 00:27:01,955 --> 00:27:04,757 POSITIVES LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, 1054 00:27:04,758 --> 00:27:05,991 FLAGGING VOTERS WHO SHARED THE 1055 00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:06,625 SAME NAME AND BIRTHDATE, BUT ARE 1056 00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:11,063 ACTUALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE. 1057 00:27:11,064 --> 00:27:12,631 AND GETTING FLAGGED CAN BE 1058 00:27:12,632 --> 00:27:13,465 INTENSELY FRUSTRATING. 1059 00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:14,400 JUST LISTEN TO THIS MAN WHO 1060 00:27:14,401 --> 00:27:15,134 LIVES IN THE SAME COUNTY WHERE 1061 00:27:15,135 --> 00:27:16,535 OUR EXHAUSTED OFFICIAL WORKS. 1062 00:27:16,536 --> 00:27:17,136 I HAVE BEEN VOTING HERE FOR 1063 00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:18,837 TWO DECADES. 1064 00:27:18,838 --> 00:27:20,806 AS WE CAN SEE, I AM REAL. 1065 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,541 I AM HERE. 1066 00:27:22,542 --> 00:27:22,975 I AM TALKING TO YOU. 1067 00:27:22,976 --> 00:27:23,509 IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY 1068 00:27:23,510 --> 00:27:24,677 DANIEL MOSS IS DEFENDING HIS 1069 00:27:24,678 --> 00:27:25,878 EXISTENCE, IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS 1070 00:27:25,879 --> 00:27:27,813 LIST. 1071 00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:28,747 THAT'S MY FIRST NAME. 1072 00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:31,350 THAT'S MY LAST NAME. 1073 00:27:31,351 --> 00:27:32,785 OF THOUSANDS OF VOTER 1074 00:27:32,786 --> 00:27:34,119 REGISTRATIONS IN DENTON COUNTY 1075 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,121 BEING CHALLENGED AS INELIGIBLE. 1076 00:27:36,122 --> 00:27:37,856 FINDING OUT THAT I'M ON SOME 1077 00:27:37,857 --> 00:27:38,757 SORT OF HIT LIST OF PEOPLE WHO 1078 00:27:38,758 --> 00:27:40,893 SHOULDN'T BE VOTING. 1079 00:27:40,894 --> 00:27:41,493 I WAS-- I WAS PRETTY PISSED 1080 00:27:41,494 --> 00:27:43,729 OFF. 1081 00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:44,363 DANIEL MOSS'S CHALLENGE CAME 1082 00:27:44,364 --> 00:27:46,699 FROM SOMEONE HE DOESN'T EVEN 1083 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:46,899 KNOW. 1084 00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:48,400 I WANT TO SAY IT WAS NANCY? 1085 00:27:48,401 --> 00:27:49,601 NANCY LIVES IN THE SAME 1086 00:27:49,602 --> 00:27:53,939 COUNTY, AND SINGLE HANDEDLY SENT 1087 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:55,674 IN THOUSANDS OF CHALLENGES THIS 1088 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:57,376 YEAR. 1089 00:27:57,377 --> 00:27:57,943 NANCY SENDS ME SOMETHING 1090 00:27:57,944 --> 00:28:02,514 EVERY DAY. 1091 00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,583 John: I BET SHE DOES. 1092 00:28:04,584 --> 00:28:06,251 YOU CAN HEAR THE EXHAUSTION IN 1093 00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:08,153 HIS VOICE THERE. 1094 00:28:08,154 --> 00:28:08,787 "NANCY SENDS ME SOMETHING EVERY 1095 00:28:08,788 --> 00:28:09,922 DAY. 1096 00:28:09,923 --> 00:28:10,489 AND SHE'LL KEEP SENDING ME 1097 00:28:10,490 --> 00:28:12,291 THINGS UNTIL I'M A HUSK OF THE 1098 00:28:12,292 --> 00:28:13,392 HUSK I AM NOW, AND A GENTLE 1099 00:28:13,393 --> 00:28:14,460 BREEZE CARRIES ME AWAY TO SOME 1100 00:28:14,461 --> 00:28:18,063 BEAUTIFUL PLACE WHERE THERE ARE 1101 00:28:18,064 --> 00:28:23,702 NO MORE NANCYS." 1102 00:28:23,703 --> 00:28:24,336 THE POINT IS, JUST A HANDFUL OF 1103 00:28:24,337 --> 00:28:31,411 PEOPLE CAN CAUSE A HUGE AMOUNT 1104 00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:33,145 OF PROBLEMS. 1105 00:28:33,146 --> 00:28:34,346 LAST YEAR, IN WATERFORD, 1106 00:28:34,347 --> 00:28:35,647 MICHIGAN, A COUNTY CLERK 1107 00:28:35,648 --> 00:28:36,248 IMPROPERLY CUT MORE THAN 1,000 1108 00:28:36,249 --> 00:28:37,516 VOTERS FROM THEIR ROLLS IN 1109 00:28:37,517 --> 00:28:38,150 RESPONSE TO CHALLENGES FROM ONE 1110 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,284 79-YEAR-OLD RESIDENT WHO 1111 00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:40,219 BELIEVED THE LAST ELECTION WAS 1112 00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:40,452 STOLEN. 1113 00:28:40,453 --> 00:28:41,286 AND CHALLENGES HAVE BEEN 1114 00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:42,654 PARTICULARLY INTENSE IN THE 1115 00:28:42,655 --> 00:28:43,288 SWING STATE OF GEORGIA, WHERE-- 1116 00:28:43,289 --> 00:28:43,889 BECAUSE OF A NEW STATE LAW-- 1117 00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:44,656 ANYONE CAN NOW BRING AN 1118 00:28:44,657 --> 00:28:46,158 UNLIMITED NUMBER OF CHALLENGES 1119 00:28:46,159 --> 00:28:46,792 AGAINST ANYONE IN THEIR COUNTY, 1120 00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:47,459 WHICH HAVE TO BE HEARD WITHIN 10 1121 00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:49,228 BUSINESS DAYS. 1122 00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:50,229 SINCE THAT BILL WAS PASSED, MORE 1123 00:28:50,230 --> 00:28:52,798 THAN 180,000 CITIZEN CHALLENGES 1124 00:28:52,799 --> 00:28:54,667 HAVE BEEN FILED, WITH THE VAST 1125 00:28:54,668 --> 00:28:56,835 MAJORITY BY JUST SIX PEOPLE. 1126 00:28:56,836 --> 00:28:58,937 WHICH IS RIDICULOUS! 1127 00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,139 A GROUP SOWING THAT MUCH CHAOS 1128 00:29:00,140 --> 00:29:01,173 SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIT INSIDE 1129 00:29:01,174 --> 00:29:04,143 THE TITAN SUBMERSIBLE. 1130 00:29:04,144 --> 00:29:05,611 ALTHOUGH, SINCE THEY CAN, I'D BE 1131 00:29:05,612 --> 00:29:08,247 HAPPY TO PAY FOR THEIR TRIP. 1132 00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:11,083 I HEAR IT'S BEAUTIFUL DOWN 1133 00:29:11,084 --> 00:29:12,518 THERE! 1134 00:29:12,519 --> 00:29:13,252 GEORGIA VOTERS HAVE BEEN 1135 00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:14,687 CHALLENGED FOR STUPID REASONS, 1136 00:29:14,688 --> 00:29:16,355 LIKE TINY MISMATCHES BETWEEN 1137 00:29:16,356 --> 00:29:18,123 THEIR MAILING ADDRESS AND WHERE 1138 00:29:18,124 --> 00:29:18,991 THEY'RE REGISTERED. 1139 00:29:18,992 --> 00:29:19,725 THIS MAN SHOWED UP AT A MEETING 1140 00:29:19,726 --> 00:29:20,993 LAST SPRING AFTER HE WAS 1141 00:29:20,994 --> 00:29:22,361 CHALLENGED, BECAUSE HIS ADDRESS 1142 00:29:22,362 --> 00:29:23,862 WAS MISTAKENLY RECORDED AS 1143 00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:24,863 "NORTH PINE DRIVE DRIVE" INSTEAD 1144 00:29:24,864 --> 00:29:26,565 OF JUST "NORTH PINE DRIVE." 1145 00:29:26,566 --> 00:29:27,733 AND THIS WOMAN HAD AN EVEN MORE 1146 00:29:27,734 --> 00:29:29,902 INFURIATING STORY. 1147 00:29:29,903 --> 00:29:32,304 MY RIGHTS WAS CHALLENGED. 1148 00:29:32,305 --> 00:29:34,239 I'VE BEEN STAYING AT THIS SAME 1149 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,475 ADDRESS FOR-- SINCE 2011. 1150 00:29:36,476 --> 00:29:37,509 VOTERS LIKE LAKENDRA GRAHAM. 1151 00:29:37,510 --> 00:29:38,544 SHE SAID SHE LIVED ON 1152 00:29:38,545 --> 00:29:40,979 CONFEDERATE AVENUE IN ATLANTA, 1153 00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:43,382 THE NAME OF WHICH THE CITY 1154 00:29:43,383 --> 00:29:44,616 CHANGED WITH GREAT FANFARE TO 1155 00:29:44,617 --> 00:29:47,686 UNITED AVENUE IN 2019. 1156 00:29:47,687 --> 00:29:49,722 NOT HER FAULT, SHE TOLD THE 1157 00:29:49,723 --> 00:29:51,156 BOARD IN MARCH. 1158 00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:52,658 IT'S A WASTE OF MY TIME, 1159 00:29:52,659 --> 00:29:53,225 BECAUSE I'M HERE WHEN I HAVE 1160 00:29:53,226 --> 00:29:54,159 OTHER THINGS TO DO. 1161 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,461 I HAVE A JOB. 1162 00:29:55,462 --> 00:29:56,929 John: YEAH, IT'S A WASTE OF 1163 00:29:56,930 --> 00:29:58,764 HER TIME, WHICH COULD BE BETTER 1164 00:29:58,765 --> 00:30:00,466 SPENT ON WORKING OR SHOPPING OR 1165 00:30:00,467 --> 00:30:02,735 FIGURING OUT WHY THE FUCK THAT 1166 00:30:02,736 --> 00:30:03,802 STREET NAME WASN'T CHANGED ANY 1167 00:30:03,803 --> 00:30:08,173 EARLIER THAN 2019. 1168 00:30:08,174 --> 00:30:08,774 AND WHILE THE VAST MAJORITY OF 1169 00:30:08,775 --> 00:30:10,442 THESE CHALLENGES FAIL, THEY CAN 1170 00:30:10,443 --> 00:30:10,943 HAVE A CHILLING EFFECT. 1171 00:30:10,944 --> 00:30:12,711 IN THE WORDS OF ONE ATTORNEY, 1172 00:30:12,712 --> 00:30:13,212 THEY'RE "MORE LIKELY TO 1173 00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:14,646 DISENFRANCHISE OR INTIMIDATE OR 1174 00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:15,981 CONFUSE VOTERS THAN THEY ARE TO 1175 00:30:15,982 --> 00:30:17,483 ACTUALLY TURN UP PEOPLE 1176 00:30:17,484 --> 00:30:19,785 INELIGIBLE TO VOTE." 1177 00:30:19,786 --> 00:30:20,386 WHICH IS BOTH INFURIATING AND, 1178 00:30:20,387 --> 00:30:21,253 ONE MIGHT SUSPECT, KIND OF THE 1179 00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:23,689 POINT. 1180 00:30:23,690 --> 00:30:24,256 AND WHILE SO FAR, WE'VE BEEN 1181 00:30:24,257 --> 00:30:26,825 LOOKING AT PREEMPTIVE STRIKES 1182 00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:27,593 AHEAD OF THE ELECTION, THERE'S 1183 00:30:27,594 --> 00:30:29,061 WANT TO MENTION, WHOSE MAIN 1184 00:30:29,062 --> 00:30:34,467 EFFECTS WILL ONLY BE SEEN IN THE 1185 00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:43,208 1 FINAL STRING OF FUCKERY I 1186 00:30:43,209 --> 00:30:43,776 WANT TO MENTION, WHOSE MAIN 1187 00:30:43,777 --> 00:30:47,946 EFFECTS WILL ONLY BE SEEN IN THE 1188 00:30:47,947 --> 00:30:48,547 DAYS FOLLOWING NOVEMBER 5th-- 1189 00:30:48,548 --> 00:30:49,715 AND THAT'S SOME OF THE CHANGES 1190 00:30:49,716 --> 00:30:50,282 MADE TO BOARDS THAT CERTIFY 1191 00:30:50,283 --> 00:30:50,783 ELECTIONS. 1192 00:30:50,784 --> 00:30:51,583 BECAUSE WHILE I MENTIONED THAT 1193 00:30:51,584 --> 00:30:52,584 DENIERS WHO RAN FOR CHIEF 1194 00:30:52,585 --> 00:30:53,218 ELECTION OFFICER IN SWING STATES 1195 00:30:53,219 --> 00:30:54,186 LOST, THERE ARE STILL A 1196 00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:55,487 SIGNIFICANT NUMBER ON THE STATE 1197 00:30:55,488 --> 00:30:55,854 AND LOCAL LEVEL. 1198 00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:56,822 ONE ANALYSIS FOUND THAT IN THESE 1199 00:30:56,823 --> 00:30:58,557 SIX KEY SWING STATES, THERE ARE 1200 00:30:58,558 --> 00:30:59,124 NEARLY 70 PRO-TRUMP ELECTION 1201 00:30:59,125 --> 00:30:59,892 CONSPIRACISTS, WHO ARE CURRENTLY 1202 00:30:59,893 --> 00:31:00,426 WORKING AS COUNTY ELECTION 1203 00:31:00,427 --> 00:31:00,893 OFFICIALS. 1204 00:31:00,894 --> 00:31:01,794 AND MAYBE THE MOST STRIKING 1205 00:31:01,795 --> 00:31:02,628 SHIFT HAS BEEN IN GEORGIA, WHERE 1206 00:31:02,629 --> 00:31:04,096 -- UNIQUELY AMONG SWING STATES 1207 00:31:04,097 --> 00:31:04,730 -- REPUBLICANS ARE IN CHARGE OF 1208 00:31:04,731 --> 00:31:06,965 THE GOVERNORSHIP, HOUSE, AND 1209 00:31:06,966 --> 00:31:07,199 SENATE. 1210 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,000 AND THEY'VE USED THAT POWER 1211 00:31:08,001 --> 00:31:09,001 DECISIVELY TO, AMONG OTHER 1212 00:31:09,002 --> 00:31:11,203 THINGS, RESHAPE THE FIVE-MEMBER 1213 00:31:11,204 --> 00:31:11,670 STATE ELECTIONS BOARD. 1214 00:31:11,671 --> 00:31:12,504 THESE THREE TRUMP-FRIENDLY 1215 00:31:12,505 --> 00:31:13,138 MEMBERS HAVE NOW BEEN INSTALLED, 1216 00:31:13,139 --> 00:31:14,573 ALL OF WHOM HAVE QUESTIONED THE 1217 00:31:14,574 --> 00:31:16,709 RESULTS OF THE 2020 ELECTION, 1218 00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:18,477 AND TRUMP LOVES THEM SO MUCH, HE 1219 00:31:18,478 --> 00:31:19,578 EVEN CALLED THEM OUT BY NAME AT 1220 00:31:19,579 --> 00:31:21,647 A RALLY. 1221 00:31:21,648 --> 00:31:24,650 THREE MEMBERS, JANICE 1222 00:31:24,651 --> 00:31:28,654 JOHNSTON, RICK JEFFARES, AND 1223 00:31:28,655 --> 00:31:30,456 JANELLE KING. 1224 00:31:30,457 --> 00:31:32,691 THREE PEOPLE ARE ALL PIT BULLS 1225 00:31:32,692 --> 00:31:35,260 FIGHTING FOR HONESTY, 1226 00:31:35,261 --> 00:31:36,528 TRANSPARENCY, AND VICTORY. 1227 00:31:36,529 --> 00:31:37,596 THEY'RE FIGHTING. 1228 00:31:37,597 --> 00:31:38,230 ARE THEY HERE? 1229 00:31:38,231 --> 00:31:42,501 WHERE ARE THEY? 1230 00:31:42,502 --> 00:31:43,535 THANK YOU. 1231 00:31:43,536 --> 00:31:44,703 WHAT A JOB. 1232 00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:46,005 THANK YOU. 1233 00:31:46,006 --> 00:31:48,240 John: WOW. 1234 00:31:48,241 --> 00:31:48,841 THE FACT TRUMP'S SHOUTING THEM 1235 00:31:48,842 --> 00:31:50,476 OUT LIKE THEY'RE EACH THE 1236 00:31:50,477 --> 00:31:51,110 BIRTHDAY BOY OR GIRL AT CHUCK E. 1237 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:53,212 CHEESE ISN'T A GREAT SIGN. 1238 00:31:53,213 --> 00:31:54,646 NOR IS IT GREAT THAT ONE OF THEM 1239 00:31:54,647 --> 00:31:55,314 RICK JEFFARES, EVEN TOLD A TRUMP 1240 00:31:55,315 --> 00:31:57,282 CAMPAIGN ADVISER THAT, IF THEY 1241 00:31:57,283 --> 00:31:59,084 WIN IN NOVEMBER, HE WANTS TO 1242 00:31:59,085 --> 00:31:59,618 JOIN THEIR ADMINISTRATION, 1243 00:31:59,619 --> 00:32:01,286 SAYING "IF Y'ALL CAN'T FIGURE 1244 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:02,988 OUT WHO YOU WANT TO BE THE EPA 1245 00:32:02,989 --> 00:32:03,622 DIRECTOR FOR THE SOUTH-EAST, I'D 1246 00:32:03,623 --> 00:32:05,124 LIKE TO HAVE IT." 1247 00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:05,724 WHICH MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME 1248 00:32:05,725 --> 00:32:06,925 I'VE HEARD OF POLITICAL 1249 00:32:06,926 --> 00:32:07,526 CORRUPTION HAVING A VIBE THAT 1250 00:32:07,527 --> 00:32:12,064 SCREAMS "NO WORRIES IF NOT." 1251 00:32:12,065 --> 00:32:12,931 NOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU: ALL 1252 00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,266 THREE HAVE PUSHED BACK ON THE 1253 00:32:14,267 --> 00:32:15,434 INSINUATION THEY'RE WORKING FOR 1254 00:32:15,435 --> 00:32:18,270 TRUMP, WITH ONE SAYING SHE'S 1255 00:32:18,271 --> 00:32:19,304 FACED "CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, 1256 00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:20,673 MEDIA MURDER, AND 'LAWFARE 1257 00:32:20,674 --> 00:32:22,107 LYNCHING'" AND, TO GET AHEAD OF 1258 00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:22,708 YOUR QUESTION, YES IT WAS THE 1259 00:32:22,709 --> 00:32:27,546 OLD WHITE LADY WHO SAID THAT. 1260 00:32:27,547 --> 00:32:28,147 BUT IN AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER-- 1261 00:32:28,148 --> 00:32:29,515 INCREDIBLY LATE IN THE ELECTION 1262 00:32:29,516 --> 00:32:31,650 CYCLE-- THE BOARD PASSED A 1263 00:32:31,651 --> 00:32:32,284 BUNCH OF NEW RULES THAT'LL MAKE 1264 00:32:32,285 --> 00:32:32,885 IT MUCH EASIER TO SOW DOUBT IN 1265 00:32:32,886 --> 00:32:36,488 THE CERTIFICATION PROCESS. 1266 00:32:36,489 --> 00:32:37,122 ONE OF THEM REQUIRES A FULL HAND 1267 00:32:37,123 --> 00:32:40,059 COUNT OF BALLOTS IN EACH 1268 00:32:40,060 --> 00:32:41,126 PRECINCT TO TAKE PLACE EITHER 1269 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:43,529 THE NIGHT OF THE ELECTION OR THE 1270 00:32:43,530 --> 00:32:44,163 NEXT DAY, AND WHICH MUST BE DONE 1271 00:32:44,164 --> 00:32:44,763 BY JUST THREE INDIVIDUALS PER 1272 00:32:44,764 --> 00:32:48,434 PRECINCT. 1273 00:32:48,435 --> 00:32:49,034 WHICH MIGHT SOUND REASONABLE, 1274 00:32:49,035 --> 00:32:50,135 BUT AS EXPERTS HAVE EXPLAINED, 1275 00:32:50,136 --> 00:32:51,437 THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO CAUSE 1276 00:32:51,438 --> 00:32:54,106 CHAOS. 1277 00:32:54,107 --> 00:32:55,274 I BROUGHT WITH ME 1,872 PAGES 1278 00:32:55,275 --> 00:32:57,810 OF PAPER REPRESENTING WHAT A 1279 00:32:57,811 --> 00:32:59,478 STACK OF BALLOTS COULD LOOK LIKE 1280 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:02,514 ON A BUSY COUNTING DAY. 1281 00:33:02,515 --> 00:33:04,149 AND BUSIER, LARGER PRECINCTS MAY 1282 00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,417 HAVE EVEN MORE THAN THIS NUMBER. 1283 00:33:05,418 --> 00:33:07,119 IF I WERE TO HAND THIS STACK OF 1284 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,356 PAPER TO THREE RANDOM PEOPLE IN 1285 00:33:10,357 --> 00:33:10,989 THIS ROOM, ESPECIALLY AT THE END 1286 00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:12,424 OF A LONG VOTING DAY, AND ASK 1287 00:33:12,425 --> 00:33:13,058 THEM TO ARRIVE AT THE SAME TOTAL 1288 00:33:13,059 --> 00:33:14,526 NUMBER, DO WE THINK THAT'S 1289 00:33:14,527 --> 00:33:15,861 FEASIBLE? 1290 00:33:15,862 --> 00:33:16,395 COUNTING LARGE NUMBERS OF 1291 00:33:16,396 --> 00:33:17,663 ANYTHING ONE BY ONE IS AN 1292 00:33:17,664 --> 00:33:19,365 INCREDIBLY TEDIOUS PROCESS, AND 1293 00:33:19,366 --> 00:33:20,332 NOT ONE HUMANS ARE WELL EQUIPPED 1294 00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:21,900 FOR. 1295 00:33:21,901 --> 00:33:22,501 PEOPLE DOING A HAND COUNT ARE 1296 00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:23,569 GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES, WHICH 1297 00:33:23,570 --> 00:33:25,070 CAN THEN BE EXPLOITED TO SPREAD 1298 00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:26,305 LIES AND SOW FURTHER DISTRUST IN 1299 00:33:26,306 --> 00:33:27,473 OUR ELECTIONS AND OUR ELECTION 1300 00:33:27,474 --> 00:33:28,741 OFFICIALS. 1301 00:33:28,742 --> 00:33:29,441 John: YEAH, OF COURSE. 1302 00:33:29,442 --> 00:33:31,310 IF YOU HANDED THREE EXHAUSTED 1303 00:33:31,311 --> 00:33:32,244 PEOPLE THAT STACK OF PAPER AND 1304 00:33:32,245 --> 00:33:34,713 TOLD THEM TO HAVE THE SAME 1305 00:33:34,714 --> 00:33:35,748 NUMBER BY MORNING, YOU'RE NOT 1306 00:33:35,749 --> 00:33:38,250 GUARANTEED THE SAME ANSWER. 1307 00:33:38,251 --> 00:33:38,817 AT BEST, YOU GET A SCENARIO 1308 00:33:38,818 --> 00:33:39,852 THAT'D GIVE MOST PEOPLE A PANIC 1309 00:33:39,853 --> 00:33:41,353 ATTACK AND THE COUNT AN INSTANT 1310 00:33:41,354 --> 00:33:44,556 ORGASM. 1311 00:33:44,557 --> 00:33:46,558 DOZENS OF ELECTION OFFICIALS 1312 00:33:46,559 --> 00:33:47,526 HAVE SAID A HAND COUNT OF ALL 1313 00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:48,527 THE BALLOTS WOULD BE PHYSICALLY 1314 00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:49,895 IMPOSSIBLE IN ALL BUT THE 1315 00:33:49,896 --> 00:33:50,929 SMALLEST COUNTIES. 1316 00:33:50,930 --> 00:33:52,531 BUT THE THING IS, THAT RULE 1317 00:33:52,532 --> 00:33:55,300 MIGHT TRIGGER ANOTHER NEW ONE 1318 00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:56,035 THAT BARS COUNTIES FROM 1319 00:33:56,036 --> 00:33:57,736 CERTIFYING THE ELECTION UNTIL 1320 00:33:57,737 --> 00:33:59,038 OFFICIALS CAN REVIEW AN 1321 00:33:59,039 --> 00:34:00,806 INVESTIGATION OF EVERY PRECINCT 1322 00:34:00,807 --> 00:34:02,741 WITH INCONSISTENT TOTALS, AND 1323 00:34:02,742 --> 00:34:04,677 GIVES COUNTY BOARDS THE POWER TO 1324 00:34:04,678 --> 00:34:05,678 EXCLUDE ENTIRE PRECINCTS FROM 1325 00:34:05,679 --> 00:34:07,246 THE VOTE TOTALS IF THEY THINK 1326 00:34:07,247 --> 00:34:09,048 THEY'RE FRAUDULENT. 1327 00:34:09,049 --> 00:34:12,451 WHICH IS WILD. 1328 00:34:12,452 --> 00:34:13,952 AND MIGHT BE A PROBLEM, GIVEN 1329 00:34:13,953 --> 00:34:14,553 SOME LOCAL ELECTION OFFICIALS 1330 00:34:14,554 --> 00:34:16,789 ARE FUCKING NUTS. 1331 00:34:16,790 --> 00:34:18,424 FOR INSTANCE, THIS ELECTION 1332 00:34:18,425 --> 00:34:18,991 CHAIR IN GEORGIA'S SPALDING 1333 00:34:18,992 --> 00:34:21,360 COUNTY TWEETED, JUST THREE DAYS 1334 00:34:21,361 --> 00:34:27,966 AFTER JANUARY 6, THIS MESS OF 1335 00:34:27,967 --> 00:34:28,567 OFFENSIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES 1336 00:34:28,568 --> 00:34:29,501 INCLUDING THE HASHTAG 1337 00:34:29,502 --> 00:34:31,036 #BidenWillNeverBePresident AND 1338 00:34:31,037 --> 00:34:33,238 #BidenIsAPedo. 1339 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,107 THAT'S NOT SOMEBODY YOU WANT 1340 00:34:35,108 --> 00:34:35,708 EMPOWERED TO THROW OUT VOTES. 1341 00:34:35,709 --> 00:34:36,342 AND ON TOP OF THAT, YET ANOTHER 1342 00:34:36,343 --> 00:34:37,276 NEW RULE EMPOWERS COUNTY 1343 00:34:37,277 --> 00:34:38,410 ELECTION BOARD MEMBERS TO 1344 00:34:38,411 --> 00:34:40,412 CONDUCT "REASONABLE INQUIRY" 1345 00:34:40,413 --> 00:34:40,946 INTO ALLEGATIONS OF VOTING 1346 00:34:40,947 --> 00:34:43,515 IRREGULARITIES, WITHOUT SETTING 1347 00:34:43,516 --> 00:34:49,688 DEADLINES FOR HOW LONG THEY 1348 00:34:49,689 --> 00:34:50,289 MIGHT LAST, OR-- CRUCIALLY-- 1349 00:34:50,290 --> 00:34:52,024 DEFINE WHAT A "REASONABLE 1350 00:34:52,025 --> 00:34:52,891 INQUIRY" EVEN MEANS. 1351 00:34:52,892 --> 00:34:53,459 AND THAT'S SOMETHING ONE OF 1352 00:34:53,460 --> 00:34:54,927 THOSE NEW TRUMP-FRIENDLY 1353 00:34:54,928 --> 00:34:55,794 APPOINTEES SEEMED WEIRDLY 1354 00:34:55,795 --> 00:34:56,662 UNCONCERNED ABOUT. 1355 00:34:56,663 --> 00:34:57,262 WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS DEFINE 1356 00:34:57,263 --> 00:34:58,263 "REASONABLE INQUIRY?" 1357 00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:01,500 I MEAN, YOU GUYS MADE THE RULE. 1358 00:35:01,501 --> 00:35:02,067 HOW-- HOW BEST SHOULD WE 1359 00:35:02,068 --> 00:35:03,502 DEFINE "REASONABLE?" 1360 00:35:03,503 --> 00:35:04,436 I THOUGHT-- WE THOUGHT THAT 1361 00:35:04,437 --> 00:35:06,138 MOST PEOPLE KNEW WHAT REASONABLE 1362 00:35:06,139 --> 00:35:10,442 IS. 1363 00:35:10,443 --> 00:35:12,511 IT'S MORE OF A RHETORICAL 1364 00:35:12,512 --> 00:35:13,178 QUESTION. 1365 00:35:13,179 --> 00:35:13,846 SO, I-- I DIDN'T THINK WE WOULD 1366 00:35:13,847 --> 00:35:15,714 HAVE TO WRITE THE DEFINITION OF 1367 00:35:15,715 --> 00:35:16,315 "REASONABLE" WITHIN THE-- THE 1368 00:35:16,316 --> 00:35:17,316 RULE. 1369 00:35:17,317 --> 00:35:17,916 BUT IF THAT'S THE CASE, WE'LL 1370 00:35:17,917 --> 00:35:19,051 POST WHAT THE DEFINITION OF 1371 00:35:19,052 --> 00:35:20,119 REASONABLE MEANS. 1372 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:20,753 John: BUT THEY STILL HAVEN'T 1373 00:35:20,754 --> 00:35:21,687 DONE THAT YET-- EVEN THOUGH 1374 00:35:21,688 --> 00:35:23,122 EARLY IN-PERSON VOTING IN 1375 00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:24,223 GEORGIA STARTS THIS WEEK. 1376 00:35:24,224 --> 00:35:25,257 AND THAT'S A PROBLEM, BECAUSE 1377 00:35:25,258 --> 00:35:25,858 YOU DO NEED TO DEFINE THE WORD 1378 00:35:25,859 --> 00:35:26,925 "REASONABLE." 1379 00:35:26,926 --> 00:35:27,493 IT'S A SUBJECTIVE TERM, LIKE 1380 00:35:27,494 --> 00:35:30,062 "FUNNY" OR "INTERESTING." 1381 00:35:30,063 --> 00:35:31,463 THOSE WORDS MEAN SOMETHING 1382 00:35:31,464 --> 00:35:34,066 DIFFERENT TO EVERYONE. 1383 00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:35,100 I PERSONALLY PROVE THAT EVERY 1384 00:35:35,101 --> 00:35:36,235 SUNDAY NIGHT. 1385 00:35:36,236 --> 00:35:38,671 I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW! 1386 00:35:38,672 --> 00:35:41,073 EXPERTS SAY THAT "REASONABLE 1387 00:35:41,074 --> 00:35:42,207 INQUIRY" RULE COULD ALLOW ROGUE 1388 00:35:42,208 --> 00:35:44,276 ELECTION OFFICIALS TO DRAG 1389 00:35:44,277 --> 00:35:45,577 INQUIRIES PAST CERTIFICATION 1390 00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:47,246 DEADLINES. 1391 00:35:47,247 --> 00:35:47,846 AND WHILE COURTS ARE CURRENTLY 1392 00:35:47,847 --> 00:35:49,281 HEARING CHALLENGES TO THESE 1393 00:35:49,282 --> 00:35:49,882 RULES, IF THEY ALLOW THEM, ONE 1394 00:35:49,883 --> 00:35:50,582 POTENTIAL END RESULT IS LOCAL 1395 00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:53,152 OFFICIALS IN JUST A HANDFUL OF 1396 00:35:53,153 --> 00:35:54,687 RURAL COUNTIES COULD EXCLUDE 1397 00:35:54,688 --> 00:35:56,555 ENOUGH VOTES IN GEORGIA TO 1398 00:35:56,556 --> 00:35:57,089 AFFECT THE OUTCOME OF THE 1399 00:35:57,090 --> 00:35:58,457 PRESIDENTIAL RACE. 1400 00:35:58,458 --> 00:35:58,991 AND WHEN YOU TAKE ALL THIS 1401 00:35:58,992 --> 00:36:00,125 TOGETHER-- THE LIES ABOUT 1402 00:36:00,126 --> 00:36:02,361 IMMIGRANTS VOTING, THE MASS 1403 00:36:02,362 --> 00:36:03,529 VOTER CHALLENGES, AND THE 1404 00:36:03,530 --> 00:36:05,330 INTRODUCTION OF NEW PROCESSES TO 1405 00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:07,399 SLOW DOWN AND QUESTION VOTE 1406 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:08,033 COUNTS-- IT SEEMS DEPRESSINGLY 1407 00:36:08,034 --> 00:36:09,301 LIKELY WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE A 1408 00:36:09,302 --> 00:36:10,602 STORM OF BULLSHIT JUST LIKE LAST 1409 00:36:10,603 --> 00:36:11,970 TIME. 1410 00:36:11,971 --> 00:36:12,571 AND THERE ARE A FEW THINGS WE 1411 00:36:12,572 --> 00:36:15,207 SHOULD BE READY FOR. 1412 00:36:15,208 --> 00:36:16,442 FIRST: UNLESS THERE IS AN 1413 00:36:16,443 --> 00:36:18,243 ABSOLUTE LANDSLIDE, WE'RE 1414 00:36:18,244 --> 00:36:18,877 UNLIKELY TO KNOW THE OUTCOME OF 1415 00:36:18,878 --> 00:36:22,748 THE ELECTION ON NOVEMBER 5TH. 1416 00:36:22,749 --> 00:36:23,382 AND WHEN IT COMES TO GEORGIA, IF 1417 00:36:23,383 --> 00:36:24,717 HARRIS WINS NARROWLY, WE'LL 1418 00:36:24,718 --> 00:36:27,119 ALMOST CERTAINLY SEE LEGAL 1419 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,387 BATTLES STRETCHING INTO DECEMBER 1420 00:36:28,388 --> 00:36:29,855 OR BEYOND, AND WHICH COULD 1421 00:36:29,856 --> 00:36:31,390 EVENTUALLY END UP IN FRONT OF 1422 00:36:31,391 --> 00:36:32,458 THESE GUYS, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY 1423 00:36:32,459 --> 00:36:35,327 REASSURING. 1424 00:36:35,328 --> 00:36:36,762 AND ALL THE WHILE, TRUMP'LL TRY 1425 00:36:36,763 --> 00:36:37,963 AND EXPLOIT ANY DELAY OR 1426 00:36:37,964 --> 00:36:38,864 UNCERTAINTY. 1427 00:36:38,865 --> 00:36:39,965 UNLESS, THAT IS, HE WINS 1428 00:36:39,966 --> 00:36:41,700 OUTRIGHT, IN WHICH CASE, HE'LL 1429 00:36:41,701 --> 00:36:42,801 INSIST HE TRIUMPHED OVER A 1430 00:36:42,802 --> 00:36:44,703 RIGGED SYSTEM. 1431 00:36:44,704 --> 00:36:47,206 SO THAT'S WHAT WE CAN EXPECT. 1432 00:36:47,207 --> 00:36:48,240 WHAT CAN WE DO? 1433 00:36:48,241 --> 00:36:49,141 WELL, YOU CAN-- AND I HATE 1434 00:36:49,142 --> 00:36:50,075 SAYING THIS AS MUCH AS YOU 1435 00:36:50,076 --> 00:36:51,310 PROBABLY HATE HEARING IT-- MAKE 1436 00:36:51,311 --> 00:36:52,678 A PLAN TO VOTE AND HELP OTHERS 1437 00:36:52,679 --> 00:36:55,414 DO THE SAME, SINCE THE CLOSER 1438 00:36:55,415 --> 00:36:57,049 THE RACE IS, THE EASIER IT'LL BE 1439 00:36:57,050 --> 00:37:00,185 FOR TRUMP TO SOW BULLSHIT. 1440 00:37:00,186 --> 00:37:00,786 YOU SHOULD CHECK TO MAKE SURE 1441 00:37:00,787 --> 00:37:01,587 YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION IS 1442 00:37:01,588 --> 00:37:02,388 CURRENT. 1443 00:37:02,389 --> 00:37:03,956 YOU CAN USE THIS WEBSITE TO FIND 1444 00:37:03,957 --> 00:37:05,257 LINKS TO YOUR STATE'S VOTER 1445 00:37:05,258 --> 00:37:07,159 REGISTRATION VERIFICATION TOOLS. 1446 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,828 AT THIS WEBSITE BELOW. 1447 00:37:12,332 --> 00:37:14,233 VOTE EARLY IF YOU CAN TO ENSURE 1448 00:37:14,234 --> 00:37:15,100 IF THERE'S ANY ISSUE WITH YOUR 1449 00:37:15,101 --> 00:37:18,370 REGISTRATION, YOU CAN CLEAR IT 1450 00:37:18,371 --> 00:37:18,804 UP BY ELECTION DAY. 1451 00:37:18,805 --> 00:37:22,708 IF YOU VOTE BY MAIL, YOU CAN 1452 00:37:22,709 --> 00:37:24,943 FIND INFORMATION AT THIS WEBSITE 1453 00:37:24,944 --> 00:37:26,278 BELOW. 1454 00:37:26,279 --> 00:37:27,246 BUT BEYOND THAT, IT'S GOING TO 1455 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:27,880 BE VITAL TO BE RESILIENT AGAINST 1456 00:37:27,881 --> 00:37:29,014 THE STORM OF TOXIC NONSENSE 1457 00:37:29,015 --> 00:37:31,050 TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES WILL TRY 1458 00:37:31,051 --> 00:37:31,350 AND STIR UP. 1459 00:37:31,351 --> 00:37:32,084 IT COULD GO ON FOR MONTHS, AND 1460 00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:32,685 BE STUPIDER THAN YOU CAN EVEN 1461 00:37:32,686 --> 00:37:34,353 IMAGINE RIGHT NOW. 1462 00:37:34,354 --> 00:37:35,387 SO STUPID THAT SOMEONE YOU KNOW, 1463 00:37:35,388 --> 00:37:37,156 LOVE OR ARE RELATED TO-- AND 1464 00:37:37,157 --> 00:37:39,158 THOSE ARE THREE DIFFERENT THINGS 1465 00:37:39,159 --> 00:37:40,225 -- MIGHT EVEN THINK THERE'S 1466 00:37:40,226 --> 00:37:41,627 SOMETHING TO IT. 1467 00:37:41,628 --> 00:37:42,628 BUT THE KEY THING TO REMEMBER 1468 00:37:42,629 --> 00:37:43,595 HERE IS THAT, AS CHAOTIC AS THE 1469 00:37:43,596 --> 00:37:44,963 LAST ELECTION WAS, IN THE END, 1470 00:37:44,964 --> 00:37:47,466 OUR GUARDRAILS DID HOLD. 1471 00:37:47,467 --> 00:37:48,100 AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO MAKE 1472 00:37:48,101 --> 00:37:51,437 SURE THEY HOLD UP AGAIN. 1473 00:37:51,438 --> 00:37:52,538 AND IF WE CAN DO THAT, THEN, AND 1474 00:37:52,539 --> 00:37:55,507 ONLY THEN, WE WILL ALL DESERVE 1475 00:37:55,508 --> 00:37:56,508 THE SINGLE GREATEST STICKER EVER 1476 00:37:56,509 --> 00:38:03,583 DESIGNED. 1477 00:38:07,654 --> 00:38:09,355 THAT'S OUR SHOW! 1478 00:38:09,356 --> 00:38:13,592 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 1479 00:38:13,593 --> 00:38:14,293 WE'RE OFF NEXT WEEK, BACK 1480 00:38:14,294 --> 00:38:15,094 OCTOBER 27th, SEE YOU THEN, GOOD 1481 00:38:15,095 --> 00:38:17,663 NIGHT! 1482 00:38:17,664 --> 00:38:18,630 WOW. 1483 00:38:18,631 --> 00:38:21,066 WANT ME TO FEED IT TO YOU? 1484 00:38:21,067 --> 00:38:22,234 ♪ ♪ 1485 00:38:22,235 --> 00:38:22,802 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]