♪ ♪
NO
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME,LAK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT HAS BEEN VERY MUCH A WEEK.
AND OBVIOUSLY, WE'RG TO
GET TO THE ELECTION IN A MINUTE.
BUT IF YOU'VE BEEN CONSUMED BY
IT ALL WEEK, YOU MAY'VE MISSED
SMALLER STORIES THAT GOT
BUKE THE HEADLINE,
"43 MONKEYS ON THE RU
FROM SOUTH CAROLINA LAB.
CEO THINKS THEY'RE HAVING ANADV"
OR THE NEWS THAT A MESSAGE IN A
BOTTLE HAD BEEN FOUNN
ONTARIO LAKE AFTER 26 YEARS.
OR THE DEATH OF ELWOOD EDWARDS,
THE VOICE OF AOL'S "WELCOME" AND
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL" NOTIFICATIONS
WHO DIED JUST ONE DAY SHY OF
HIS 75TH BIRTHDAY.
HE WAS, BY ALL ACCOUNTS, A VERYS
WERE, FITTINGLY:
GOODBYE.
John: BIT OF FUN!
WE'RE HAVING FUN, AREN'T WE?
OF COURSE WE ARE!
WE ARE HAVING A LITTLE TASTE OF
FUN.
ANDE YOU ENJOYED THAT FUN,
BECAUSE THE REST OF THE SHOW IS
GOING TO BE ABOUT THE FACT THAT,
ON TUESDAY, TRUMP WON
REELECTION.
WHICH IS, TO PUT IT MILDLY, NOT
WHAT I WAS PERSONALLY HOPING
WOULD HAPPEN.
AND HONESTLY, IN TRUMP'S VICTORY
SPEECH, HE COULDN'T SEEM TO
BELIEVE IT, EITHER.
WE OVERCAME OBSTACLES THAT
NOBODY THOUGHT POSSIBLE, AND IT
IS NOW CLEAR THAT WE'VE ACHIEVED
THE MOST INCREDIBLE POLITICAL--
LOOK WHAT ED
IS THIS CRAZY?
John: YEAH, IT IS CRAZY!
IT'S REALLY FUCRAZY.
HE'S BASICALLY ONE SENTENCE AWAY
FROM SAYING, "I MEAN, YOU GUYS
AND YOU STILL VOTED FOR THIS?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"
AND I KNOW BEING A SHAMBLING
VERBAL MESS IS PART OF TRUMP'S
BRAND, BUT IT'S STILL INCREDIBLE
TO SIN PRESIDENT LIB A VICTORY E
SAME ENERGY AS A BEST MAN WHO
DIDN'T REALIZE HE GIV
TOAST.
T A BEAUTIFUL DAY, WHAT A
BEAUTIFUL...
BEAUTY.
TODAY, MHER AND HIS
GIRLFRIEND-- WIFE, SORRY...
TODAY, THEY DID THE THING, YOU
ALL SAW IT.
I THOUGHT MY PART WAS
DONE WITH THE BACHELOR PARTY,
BUT HERE WE GO.
GE,S CRAZY, RIGHT?
IT'S CRAZY!"
LOOK, IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK.ANE
-- FIRST, AS ALWAYS, MY DEEPEST
SYMPATHIES-- BUT IT'S PROBABLY
BEEN HARD TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING
OTHER THAN THIS.
THE TINIMENTS THIS WEEK,
WHERE THE WORLD WAS ON
LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED, COULD
BE SUDDENLY ENRAGING-- WHETHER
IT WAS A TEXT FROM A RELATIVE
INVITING YOU TO THANKSGIVING--
NOT NOW, AUNT GWEN!
OR AN ALERT ABOUA RECIPE FOR
ROAST CHICKEN--
NOT NOW, "NEW YORK TIMES!"
OR HELLO KITTY ACTUALLY POSTING
THIS WORD SEARCH ON TWITTER ON
WEDNESDAY, ASKING FOLLOWERS,
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO
THIS MONTH?"
HEY!
HELLO KITTY!
NO FUCKING NOW!
I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU WHAT I'M
LOOKING FORWARD TO BUT AS I
CAN'T FIND "DRINY
OUT" AND "HOUSING SOME
GRIEF-MAC-AND-CHEESE" ON YOUR
STUPID PUZZLE!
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
PEOPLE ON TWITTER EVEN T MAD
AT THIS TEASER FOR A NEW TYLA
♪
THAT WAS POSTED ON TWITTER THE
DAY AFTER THE ELECTION, ONLY TO
ONSES "NOT NOW,
GIRL, NOT NOW" AND "TYLA READING
THE ROOM" WITH A GIF OF
LEA MICHELORE A TON OF
REPLIES CORRECTLY POINTING OUT
"SHE IS LITERALLY
SOUTH AFRICAN?"
"NOBODY'S HA TUMP WON,
ING ME, BUT SHE IS
LITERALLY NOT AN AMERICAN.
WHAT DO Y'ALL WANT FROM HER?"WH!
PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES ARE
ALLOWED TO BUFF THEIRAN SHORTS.
DIDN'US IN THIS
SITUATION.
WE DID!
AND HONESTLY, IF YOU'RE WATCHING
RIGHT NOW AND THINKING,
"YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT ACTUALLY READY FOR
THIS," IOTALLY GET IT!
IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE NOT TO WANT
YET ANOTHER GUY IN A SUIT
DOOM-SQUAWKING AT YOU.
SO IF YOU'RE TOO ANGRY,
DEPRESSED, OR WORRIED TO WATCH
THE REST OF THIS SHOW, NO
PROBLEM.
I'VE BEEN IN EACH OF THOSE
PLACES THIS WEEK, AND THEY'RE
ALL A CORRECT REACTION.
BECAUSE LOOK, WE DID A SHOW LIKE
THIS AFTER TCTION IN
2016, WHEN NO ONE EXPECTED TRUMP
TO WIN.
THIS TIME, THOUGH, HIS WINNING
FELT LIKE A REAL POSSIBILITY ALL
YEAR LONG.
LOTS OF PEOBILIZED TO STOP
IT, BUT IT HAPPENED ANYWAY,
WHICH FEELS SOMEHOW WORSE.
YOU'VE PROBABLY SEEN PEOPLE
REALLY STRUGGLING THIS WEEK, AND
MY SYMPATHY GOES OUT TO ALL OF
THEM, WITH ONE EXCEPTION,
THAT IS TRUMP'S FORMER ATTORNEY,
MICHAEL COHEN.
HE'D CLAIMED THAT HE'D LEAVE THE
COUNTRY IF TRUMP WON, ONLY TOQUA
POST-ELECTION ON A LEAM
WHERE HE GOT TROLLVIEWERS
IN A VERY FUNNY WAY.
CAN WE STOP WITH THAT?
I APPRECIATE IT.
I DON'T LIKE THE STURKEYS.
KNOCK THAT STUPID SHIT OFF JUST
PLEASE.
ALL RIGHT?
I SAID I WAS LEAVING, AND
THEN THE FOLLOWING DAYT
THAT THROUGH YOUR DUMB HEADS--
THE FOLLOWING DAY, I TURNED
AROUND AND I SAID THAT THERE'S
NO CHANCE IN THE WORLD THAT I'M
LEAVING MY COUNTRY, THANK YOU
MUCH.
GHT?
NOT LEAVING ANYWHERE.
YOU LEAVE!
THIS IS MY COUNTRY
AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT EVERY
SINGLE RIGHT WITHIN WHICH TO
TURN AAND-- COULD YOU
STOP SO WE CAN?
ALL RIGHT.
TWO SECONDS, I'M GOING TO END UP
BLOCKING THIS IDIOT.
John: I LOVE IT.
EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS VERY
GOOD, FROM THE "I DON'T LIKE THE
STUPID TURKEYS"
TO THE "I'M NOT LEAVING
PERFECTLY TIMED ELVIS HAIR.
I HAVE NO PROBLEM WI OF--
OH, NO, HOLD ON.
NO, N
IT NOT OKAY WHEN IT HAPPENS TO
ME.
GET IT OFF ME.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER.
NO, COME ON, I'M TRY MAKE
A POIN ABOUT--
YOU KNOW W
JUST LEAVE IT.
I'VE BEEN BECOMING MORE BIRDLIKR
FRANKLY, THIS WEEK NOTHING FEELS
MORE APPROPRIATE THAN PRESENTING
ME AS A BIRD WHO IS FULLY ANDTR.
WHAT IT MEANS FOR ABORTIONTHISSO
RIGHTS, TO THE ENVIRONMENT, TO
UKRAINE, TO GAZA, TO THE VERY
ON DEMONIZATION AND REVENGE.I
DEPORTATION ATONVENTION,OR MAS
TO THE GOP SPENDING AT LEAST
$215 MILLION JUST ON ANTI-TRANS
NETWORK TV ADS.
THAT'S JUST OVER $134 PER TRANS
PERSON IN THIS COUNTRY.
AND YET, TRUMP'S ABOUT TO BE
PRESIDENT, AGAIN.
ALL THE ANSWERS AND SOME OF THET
ONES THAT WE DO MIGHT NOT BE
ICULARLY SATISFYING, LET'S
AT LEAST TRY AND ANSWER A FEW
QUESTIONS.
SPECIFICALLY, HOW DID THIS
HAPPEN?
WHAT COMES NEXT?
AND WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
THIS HAPPEN?ART WITH HOW DID
THE TRUTH IS, IT IS TOO EARLY TO
HAVE A DEFINITIVE ANSWER TO
THAT, BUT THAT HAS NOT STOED
LE FROM TAKIN BIG
ALBATROSS AROR NECK ALA HARRISHI
WAS JOE BIDEN.
THE PROGRESSIVE ERA SHOULD BE
OVER IF THEY WANT TRT
WINNING AGAIN.
DIDA HARRIS MOVE TOO
FAR TO THE CENTER AND ALIENATE
SOME OF THE BASE?
IT WAS JOE ROGAN, IT WAS
ELON MUSK GETTING OUT THOSE
YOUNG MALE VOTERS.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE A MESSAGE
THAT ATTRACTED WORKING CLASS
VOTERS.
SHE FAILEDO CAPTURE ENOUGH
SUPPORT AMONG WHITE VOTERS, MEN,
AND FIRST TIME VO A LOTSPOTERS E
PROBLEMS WITH BLACK CANDIDATES.
ohn: OKAY.
I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE:
JOE SCARBOROUGH IS WAY TOO
SATISFIED SAYING THAT.
SCAPEGOATING ANOTHER
DEMOGRAPHIC'S BEHAVIOR IN A WAY
YOU'RE JUST ABLE TO PASS OFF AS
NEWS?
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU,
SCOLDILOCKS.
YOU MUST FEEL AMAZING RIGHT NOW.
PEOPLE ARE POINTING THE FINGER
IN ALL DIRECTIONS-- FROM
LATINO VOTERS, TO YOUNG MEN, TO
JOE ROGAN.
YOU CAN BASICALLY SPIN YOUR OWN
PERSONAL WHEEL OF BLAME, AND
GENERALLY MAKE SURE IT LANDS ON
WHOEVER YOU WERE MAD AT IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
FUN TO BLAME PEOST, I GET THEAPL
TRUMP WAS LITERALLY JUST ELECTED
PRESIDENT AGAIN ON A PLATFORM
DOING EXACTLY THAT.
PERSONALLY, I KIND OF LIKE TO
IMAGINE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED
ON TUESDAY IS ERRY'S
FAULT, BECAUSE AT KAMALA'S
ELECTION-EVE RALLY, SHE DID THIS
ILL-ADVISED COVER:
♪ I DECIDED LONG AGO NEVERTO ♪
♪ IF I FAIL ♪
♪ IF I SUCCEED ♪
♪ AT LEAST I'LL LIVE AS I
BELIEVE ♪
♪ NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT
ME ♪
♪ THEY CAN'T TAKEY MY
DIGNITY, NO! ♪
John: I MEAN, YOU ARE RIGHT
THAT THEY CAN'T TAKE AWAY YOUR
DIGNITY, BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU
JUST SURRENDERED IT WILLINGLY.
I KNOW SHE'S TRYING TO DO A NICE
THING THERE, BUT WHY WOULD YOUT?
THE VOICE!
SAY WHAT YO ABOUT
LEE GREENWOOD, WHICH, IN MY CASE
IS ABOUT 18 MINUTES OF
RIGOROUSLYT-CHECKED INSULTS,BUTD
TRUMP RALLIES, HE WASN'T TRYING
TO DO FREDDIE MERCURY'S PART IN
"SOMEBODY TO LOVE."
NOW DID THAT DRUNK BACHELORETTE
PARTY KARAOKE NIGHT PERFORMANCE
DOOM THE WHOLE HARRIS CAMPAIGN?
ABLY NOT.
BUT IT FEELS GOOD TO THINK SO.
BECAUSE IT'S AN EASY ANSWER TO I
LOT MORE APPEALING RIGHT NOW
THAN ACTUALLY FINDING THE
DIFFICULT ANSWERS.
AND LOOK, I AM NOT SAYING THE
CAMPAIGN DIDN'T MAKE ES.
BUT THE REASON WHY SPECIFIC
GROUPS VOTE THE WAY THEY DO IN
ELECTIONS TENDS TO ETHING
YOONZLE OUT LATER,
ONCE ALL THE DATA COMES IN.
AND THE TACTICAL DECISIONS BY
THE HARRIS CAMPAIGN WILL, I'M
SURE, BE PICKED APART ENDLESSLY.
BUT IT IS TELLING HOW QUICKLY
SOME ARE JUMPING TO
PREDETERMINED COONS THAT
DON'T MATCH THE CAMPAIGN THAT
JUST WRAPPED UP.
FOR INSTANCE, SOME DEMOCRATS ARE
LOUDLY CLAIMING THE PAR NEEDS
TO MOVE TO THE CENTER, WITH
NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN TOM SUOZZI
ARGUING, "MOCRATS HAVE TO
AN TO THE FAR LEFT,"
CITING TRANS RIGHTS AS
E, SAYING, "I DON'T
TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ANYBODY
BOYS SHOULD BE PLAYING IN GIRLS'
SPORTS."
AND A FEW THINGS ABOUT THAT:
FIRST, IF WHAT YOUT IS A
CENTRIST CAMPAIGN THAT'S QUIET
ON TRAUES, TOUGH ON THE
BORDER DISTANCES ITSELF FROM
PALESTINIANS, TALKS A LOT ABOUT
LAW AND ORDER, AND REACHES OUTTT
CANDIDATE EX AND SHE JUST
LOST
GUESS HOW MANY TRANS SPEAKERS
THERE WERE AT THE DNC?
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT: IT IS A
VERY ROUND NUMBER.
ALSO, I'M NOT SURE HOW YOU REACH
OUT TO MODERATE REPUBLICANS MORE
THAN APPEARING WITH ENEY
MULTIPLE TIMES, UNLESS YOU
LITERALLY DIG UP
HENRY KISSINGER'S CORPSE
PROP IT UP AT A RALLY IN
MICHIGAN AS KATY PERRY SINGS
"ROLLING IN THE EP."
IT'S OKAY NOT TO HAVE THE RANGE,
KATY!
AND FINALLY, REGARDING "YOUTH
SPORTS": THERE WERE A LOT OF
ATTACK ADS ON THAT ISSUE.
AND IT WAS FRUST TO SEE
TH HARRIS CAMPAIGN FAIL TO
FORMULATE A RESPONSE,
ESLY BEC IT'S PRETTY
EASY TO DO.
I'LL DO IT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW:
AS DISCUSSED BEFORE, THERE
ARE VANISH FEW TRANS GIRLS
COMPETING IN HIGH SCHOOLS
ANYWHERE.
EVEN IF THERE WERE MORE,
TRANS KIDS, LIKE ALL KIDS, VARY
IN ATHLETIC ABILITY, AND THERE'S
NO EVIDENCE THEY POSE ANY THREAT
TO SAFETY OR FAIRNESS.
IT IS VERY WEIRD FOR YBE
SO FOCUSED ON THJE
AND FINALLY, IF YOU GENUINELY
WANT TO ADDRESS THE BIGGEST
CONCERN FOR MOST GIRLS WHO PLAY
HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS, YOU'D WORRY
LESS ABOUT THIS, AND MORE ABOUT
THEY ASSISTLLEYBALL
COACH WHO KEEPS LIKING THEIR
PHOTOS ON FUCKING INSTAGRAM.
THE BIGGER POINTT LEAST
BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW NOW,
ANYONE POINTING TH BLAME
FOR THE ELECTION RES
SPECIFIC DEMOC IS
MISSING THE MARK.
BECAUSE THERE WAS AN
ACROSS-THE-BOARD SHIFT TO THE
RIGHT ON TUESDAY-- TRUMP
IMPROVED ON HIS 2020 MARGIN IN
MORE THAN 90% OF COUNTIES
NATIONWIDE.
AND HIS VICTORY WAS DRIVEN BY
GAINS AMONG SEEMINGLY EVERY
POSSROOF AMERICANS.
IN FACT, THE ONLY GROUPS WHERE I
CAN BE ABSOLUTELY SURE NOT A
SINGLE PERSOD FOR TRUMP
ARE THESE AVENGERS, AND
PEOPLE WHO POST POEMS TO THEIR
INSTAGRAM STORIES, WHICH, ALL
DUE RESPECT, HAS GOTTEN A BIT
OUT OF HAND THIS W
ONE THING THAT DID BECOME CLEAR
WAS THAT THE ECONOMY WAS A
MASSIVE MOTIVATING FACTOR FOR
PEOPLE.
IT RANKED NUMBER ONE AMONG
ISSUERS SAID TRED
ABOUT, WITH 52% SAYING IT WAS
"EXTREMELY IMPORTANT" TO THEM,
AND IT WAS FREQUENTLY MENTIONED
AMONG THOSE WHO VOTED FOR TRUMP.
EVERYTHING'S TOO EXPENSIVE.
MY WIFE, SHE ACTUALLY WORKS TWO
JOBS JUST TO HAVE EXTRA MONEY.
SO, I MEAN, WE'RENG FOR
TRUMP.
I'M VOTING TRUMP.
HE HAD CATAPULTED US INTO A
WHILE HE WAS THE PRESIDENT,
EVERYTHING WAS NICE AND SMOOTH
AND I STILL HAD MONEY LEFT IN MY
POCKET.
I WOULD DESCRIBE MYSELF AS
BEING RESIGNED, I SUPPOSE, TO
AGAIN, I JUST-- I CAN'T VOTE
FOR THE STATUS QUO.
AND I WAS ABSOLUTELY BETTER OFF
DURING DONALD TRUMP'S PRESIDENCY
THAN I AM TODAY.
n: YEAH, TO HEAR VOTERS
LOT OF THEM WENT WUMP.S WHY A
HE BASICALLY WOUND UP WINNING
WITH THE SAMEANTRA AS
BILL CLINTON DID IN 1992: "IT'S
THENOMY, STUPID!
ALSO, BY THE WAY, I HAPPEN TO BE
GOOD FRIENDS WITH
JEFFREY EPSTEIN."
AND LOOK, WHILE A LOT OF THOSEPG
TO VOTE FOR HIM ANYWAY, THE
TRUTH IS, THERE WAS
UNDERSTANDABLE FRUSTRATION ABOUT
THE INFLATION THAT TOOK P
DURING BIDEN'S TERM.
AS WE DISCUSSED AT THE TIME IN
OUR EXCITING AND YOUTHFUL COMEDY
SHOW THAT EXPLAINED INFLATION
FOR 24 HUMAN MINUTES, THERE WERE
GLOBAL FACTORS BIT.
MANY U.S. ALLIES ALSO SAW BIG
PRICE INCREASES, IN PART BECAUSE
GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAINS SEIZED UP
DURING COVID.
THIS HAS LED T WAVE OF
"CHANGE" ELECTIONS,L OVER
THE WORLD, VOTERS HAVE THROWN
TO HIGHEES.NT GOVERNMENTS, DUE
AND THE THING IS,
I GET NOT WANTING TO
VOTE FOR THE STATUS QUO.
AND TRUMP-- IN HIS CKED
UP WAY-- DID OFFER A CHANGE,
ESPECIALLY AS-- EVEN WHILE
HARRIS WAS BLANKETING SWING
STATES WITH ADS TALKING ABOUT
GRPRICES-- SHE WAS ALSOYING'S D
HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY THAN
BIDEN.
AND WHILE YOU COULD ARGUEDEN'S E
UP THE ECONOMY WERE ACTUALLY ONE
OF HIS MAJOR SUC, I DO GET
THAT WHEN ONE SIDE IS SAYING
"MILK IS EXPENSIVE" AND THE
OTHER IS SAYING "OKAY, YES, MILK
IS TOO EXPENSIVE, BUT WE'RE
WORKING ON IT, AND ALSO IT'S NOT
THAT EXPENSIVE WHEN YOU TAKE A
MACROECONOMIC VIEW OF AMERICA'S
RECOVERY IN CONTRAOTHER
WESTERN ECONOMIES, PLUS YOU'LL
GET USED TO IT," THAT'S NOT A
GREAT POSITION FOR AN INCUMBENT
TO BE IN, AND IT MAKES FOR
A PRETTY SHITTY LAWN SIGN, TOO.
THE IRONY HERE IS, THE U.S.
ECONOMY HAS DEFINITELY IMPROVED,
AND THE IMPACTS ARE NOW BEING
FELT.
"THE WALL STREET JOURNAL" EVEN
RAN THIS HEADLINEORE THE
ELECTION:
"THE NEXT PRESIDENT INHERITS A
REMARKABLE ECONOMY."
WHICH, I GIS YET A
THING TRUMP WILL NOW INHERIT
WITHOUT HAVING TO ACTUALLY WORK
FOR IT.
ALONG WITH MONEY AND, OF COURSE,
GOOD LOOKS.
AND LISTEN, YOU CAN POINT TO THE
ECONOMY AND STILL FIND IT
UNBELIEVABLE THAT TRUMP WAS
ELECTED.
BECAUSE WE JUST CHOSE A MAN WHO
OVERSAW A FIASCO OF A RESPONSE
TO THE PANDEMIC, FOMENTED AN
INSURRECTION, AND SINCE LEAVING
OFFICE HAS BEEN CONVICTED OF
34 COUNTS OF FALSIFYING BUSINESS
RECORDS, AND FOUND LIABLE FOR
DEFAMING AND SEXUALLY ABUSING A
WOMAN.
NOT JUST THAT.
HIS GN WAS AN AVALANCHE OF
LIES AND FEARMONGERING, WHEN IT
WASN'TOU CHAOS,
ESPECIALLY TOWARD THE END, WHEN
HE WAS MIMING A BLOW JOB ON A
MICROPHONE, DANCING ON STAGE FOE
SIZE OF ARALMER'SK,
AND GETTING COMPLETELY
DISTRACTED EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF
ONE OF HIS SIGNATURE RANTS
DEMONIZING MIGRANTS.
THESE ARE ROUGH, VICIOUS,
ROUGHER THAN ANYTHING YOU CANIMI
SAY IT ALL THE TIME, IF YOU
WA A MOVIE ON SOME OFTHESE PEOP.
IF YOU WANTED TO DO A MOVIE,
THERE'S NO AN HOLLYWOOD
THAT COULD PLAY THE ROLE.
THERE'S NOBODY THAT CAN
THESE ACTORS, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
A LITTLE BIT SHAKY.
THEY CAN'T PLAY THE ROLE.
THEY'LL BRING IN A BIG ACTOR AND
YOU LOOK AND Y HE'S GOT NO
MUSCLE CONTENT, GOT NO MUSCLE,
WE N LITTLE MUSCLE.
THEN THEY BRING IN ANOTHER ONE.
BUT HE'S GOT A WEAK FACE, HE
LOOKS WEAK.
NO, THESE GUYS HAVE OLE
PACKAGE.
UNFORTUNATELY FOR OUR COUNTRY.
John: YEAH, AT ONE POINT, HIY
SEEMED TO BE THAT THEYO
CHISELED?
AND WHILE THERE'S A LOT OF
NOTABLE LINES IN THERE, MY
UNDERDOG FAVORITE IS "AND I SAY
IT ALL THE TIME."
DO YOU?
DO YOU SAY "WE NEED A LITTLE
MUSCLE," IN THAT VOICE, ALL THE
TIME?
I MEAN, MAYBE YOU DO, I
KNOW.
JESUS CHRIST, I CANNOT FUCKING
BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE
PRESIDENT AGAIN.
AND LOOK COMING TO SEE THE THING
THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN
SHOUTING AT YOUR SCREEN THESTI,
IT'S NOT NEWS THAT
TRUMP'S OVETE SUPREMACY
SOPPEAL TO MANY O
HIS VOTERS.
IT'S ALSO NOT NEWS THAT MANY OF
THEM LIKE TO HIDE THAT BY
CLAIMING ALL THEY'RE WOR
ABOUT IS THE ECONOMY.
BUT CLEARLY, FOR OTHERS,'S
A WILLFUL DENIAL GOING ON ABOUT
HIM.
BECAUSE TRUMP LIES SO
CONSTANTLY, PEOPLE HAVE ASE
YOU CAN PICK AND CHOOSE WHICH
THINGS HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES, AND
CREA A OF HIM THAT
SUITS YOU.
AND THAT CAN BE THE CASE EVEN
WHEN HIS INTENTIONS ARE CLEAR.
THE DAY AFTER THE ELECTION, ONE
REPORTER SPOKE WITH MIGRANTS
OUTSIDE I.C.E.'S FIELD OFFICE IN
ATLANTA, AND THE FIRST PERSON
SPOKE TO, A WOMAN FROM
NICARAGUA, SAID, "WE'RE FUCKED,"
WHICT SURP.
WHAT IS SURPRISING IS THE
REPORTER THEN POSTED AN UPDATE,
SAYING, "SEVERAL OF THE MIGRANTS
I'VE BEEN SPEAKING WITH SAY THEY
WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR TRUMP
THEMSELVES.
THEY DON'T B TRUMP WILL
DEPORT THEM, BECAUSE THEY ARE
HERE TO WORK AND ARE "NOT
CRIMINALS."
BECAUSE HE'S MADE IT PAINFULLY
CLEAR THAT HE ABSOLUTELY WANTS
TO DEPORT MIGRANTS FOR ANY
REASON THAT HE POSSIBLY CAN,
INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO
"UNREASONABLY SCULPTED ABS."
ANDMAYBE THOSE MIGRANTS
GHT.
I HOPE THEY ARE FOR EVERYONE'S
SAKE.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, EWAY,
WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT.
WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR SECOND
QUESTION:
"WHAT COMES NEXT?"
BECAUSE AS WE SPEAK, TRUMP IS
ASSEMBLING HIS CABINET.
AND THE EARLY GLIMPSES INTO HIS
PROCESS HAVEN'T BEEN GREAT.
TRE ALREADY THOUSANDS
OF PEOPLE LINED UP FOR POTENTIAL
JOBS.
THE QUESTION IS WHO TRUMP PICKS
FOR THOSE POSITIONS.
AND RIGHT NOW, JUST TO OU
A SENSE OF HOW MUCH THE
JOCKEYING IS ALREADY UNDERWAY,
PALM BEACH IS TEEMING TONIGHT
WITH POTENTIAL TRUMP STAFFERS
WHO ARE HERE, WHO, A LOT OF THEM
WERE HERE NIGHT AT HIS
ELECTION NIGHT PARTY, EITHER AT
MAR-A-LAGO OR THE CONVENTION
CENTER, AND CHANGED OR DELAYED
THEIR TRAVEL PLANS AFTER LAST
NIGHT'S VICTORY, AND
DECIDED TO STICK AROUND BECAUSE
THAT'S HOWLY THEY BELIEVE
HE CAN MAKE THESE DECISIONS.
John: OKAY.
T, L STATE TIO
THAT CHART FUCKING SUCKS.
IT LOOKS LIKE A
CHOOSE-YOUR-FIGHTER SCREEN WHERE
LY THEY'RE FIGHTING
IS THE ARC OF THE MORAL
UNIVERSE.
IT LOOKS LIKE AN ADVENT CALENDAR
WHERE EVERLE OPENS UP TO A
TINY PIECE OF LITERAL SHIT.
IT LOOKS LIKE A GAME BOARD FOR
"GUESS WHO: OOPS, ALL ASSHOLES."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THERE'S A LOT THERE, BUT LET'S
START IN THE LOWER-RIGHT HAND
CORNER WITH THESE TWO GUYS
E PAL JOBS ARE LISTED
ASTION MARKS," LIKE CHART ITSELD
THEY'RE THERE.
AND HONESTLY, CHART?
SAME.
WE'VE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT
RFK-- ENEMY TO ALL ANIMALS,
FRIEND TO ALL MEASLES-- AND
TRUMP'S PLANS TO "LET HIM GO
ON MEDICINES."
YOU KNOW, REALLY GET IN THERE
X THINGS UP LWORM IN
A FRONTAL CORTEX.
BUT ELON MUSK IS ON THERE, TOO.
ONE IDEA D IN THE
CAMPAIGN'S CLOSING DAYS WAS THAT
HE'D BE APPOINTED TO CUT WASTE
OUT OF THE FEDERAL BUDGET.
HERE HE IS AT
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, HYPING
PLAN WITH THE CO-CHAIR O
TRUMP'S TRANSITION TEAM:
HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK WE CAN
RIP OUT OF THIS WASTED
$6.5 TRILLION -BIDEN
BUDGET?
WELL, I THINK WE CAN-- WE
CAN DO AT LEAST $2 TRILLION.
YEAH!
YES.
TRILLION!
YOUR MONEY IS BEING WASTED,
AND THE DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT
EFFICIS GOING TO FIX THAT.
John: OKAY.
PUE THAT HE'S DRESSED LIKE
THE LEAST INTIMIDATING BOUNCER
AT A STRIP CLUB.
THAT IS A CONCERNING AMOUNT TO
BE CUTTING.
AND IT'S LIKELY TO COME FROM
SLASHING GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS.
MUSK HAS SSEWHEREE HAVE TO REDUO
LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS," AND
"THAT NECESSARILY INVOLVES SOME
TEMPORARY HARDSHIP."
AND SEEING A MAN WORTH
TO "ENDURE HARDSHIP" AND "LIVE
THEIR MEANS," FILLS ME
WITH A FEELING THAT, APPARENTLY,
I CANNOT SAY OUT LOUD FOR LEGAL
REASONS.
AND EVEN IF YOU THINK A PROMISE
TO CUT $2 TRILLION SOUNDS GOOD,
HERE'S FORMER TREASURY SECRETARY
LARRYMERSPOINTING OUT THE
OBSTACLES TO CUTTING A FULL
ONE-THIRD OF THEERGET.
RESPECTFULLHINK IT'S
IDIOTIC.
IT'S NOT A SERIOUS STATEMENT.
WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO CUT IT
OUT OF?
THEY THINK-- THESE PEOPLE THINT
HERE'S THE PROBLEM: ONLY 15% OF
THE FEDERAL BUDGET IS FOR
PAYROLL.
SO EVEN IF YOU TOOK ALL THE
EMPLOYEES, EVERY SINGLE PERSON
WOFOR THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT OUT, YOU COULDN'T
SAVE ANYTHING LIKE $2 TRILLION.
John: IT'S TRUE.
YOU COULD FIREVERYONE WHO
WOR THE GOVERNMENT AND
STILL NOT HIT THAT NUMBER.
ALSO, I WANT TO COMPLIMENT THE
PHRASE, "RESPECTFULLY, I THINK
IT'S IDIOTIC."
HE'S REALLY STRETCHING
"RESPECTFULLY" THERE TO BREAKING
POINT.
"WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, THAT'S A
DUMB IDEA FOR BABIES."
"WHILST MEANING NO OFFENSE, WHAT
DING-DONG DREAMT UP THIS
- AUCKFEST?"
AND LOOK, ULTIMATELY, I DON'T
SEE ELON GOING THROUGH THE
FEDERAL BUDGET LINE BY LINE,
BECAUSE HE'S JUST GOING TO GET
BORED AND GO BACK TO SOMHING
HIS SPEED, LIKE FINDING A
PLACE TO DO ANOTHER BIG-BOY
BUT THE SNNOT BE SAID FOR
SOME OF THE OTHER PEOPLE TRUMP'S
LOOKING AT.
AMONG POTENTIAL ATTORNEY
GENERAL CANDIDATES IS TEXAS A.G.
KEN PAXTON, WHO'S BEEN UNDER
FEDERAL INVESTIGATION FOR
"ALL BRIBERY AND MISUSE OF
OFFICE," AND WHO GAVE A
SPEECH AT'S RALLY ONJANUARY 6 SI
QUIT FIGHTING."
AHEAD OF THE ELECTION, HE
NOTABLY DID NOT JOIN 51 OTHER
A.G.s IN SIGNING A LETTER
CONDEMNING VIOLENCE AND URGING A
PEACEFUL TRANSITION OF POWER,
AND WHEN IT COMES TOTCOME.
QUALIFICATIONS FOR RUNNING THE
DOJ, I'D ARGUE THAT "HOR
ANOTHER INSURRECTION" SHOULD NOT
BE ONE OF THEM.
FOR THE CIA DIRECTOR,
KASH PATEL IS APPARENTLY AN
OPTION-- A MAN SO DEVOTED TO
TRUMP, HE EVEN HAS A SERIES OF
CHILDREN'S BOOKS CALLED "THE
PLOT AGAINST THE KING," THE
FIRST OF WHICH TELLS THE STORY
OF A WIZARD NAMED KASH WHO SETSE
SINISTER MACHINATIONS OF
HILLARY QUEENTON.
ONE AMAZON REVIEW SAID, "10
STARS.
SUPER FAN BOOK.
I THINK I ENJORE THA
SEVEN AND NINE-YEA" AND I
AM PE THAT IS ACTUALLY
TRUE.
PATEL WAS ACTUALLY IN TRUMP'S
FIRST ADMINISTRATION, WORKING IN
A NUMBER OF POSITIONS WHILE
HAVING AN OFFICIAL GOVTPHOTO WHE
SOMEONE WHO JUST REALIZED HE
ACCIDENTALLY TEXTED A DICK PIC
TO HIS MOM.
"OH, GOD, SHE GAVE IT A
THUMBS-UP.
I THINK THAT'S WORSE.
I THINK THE THUMBS UP MAKES IT
WORSE."
BUT THERE ARE SERIOUS QUESTIONS
OVER PATEL'S QUALIFICATIONS
FRANKLY SAYS SOMETHING THAT,
TRUMP'S FIRST TERM, WHEN
HE FLOATED MAKING PATEL DEPUTYFR
APPARENTLY SAID, "OVER MY DEAD
BODY."
WELL, BILL BARR ISN'T THERE TO
STOPANYMORE,F
GETS IN AT THE CIA, HE'S TOLD
STEVE BANNON, HE'S GOT SOME
SERIANS. WE WILL GO OUT AND FINE
NSPIRATORS, NOT JUST IN
MENT, BUT IN THA.
YES, WE'RE GOING TO COME AFTER
THE PEOPLEN THE MEDIA WHO LIED
ABOUT AMERICAN CITIZENS, WHO
HELPED JOE BIDEN RIG
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS.
WE'RE GOING TO COME AFTER YOU,
WHETHER IT'S CRIMINALLY OR
LLY, WE'LL FIGURE THAT
BUT, YEAH, WE'RE PUTTING YOU ALL
ON NOTICE.
John: WELL, I DON'T LOVE THE
SOUND OF THAT.
FROM THREA T AFTER
THE MEDIA, TO THE HOODIE HE'S
WEARING THERE-- FROM HIS OWN
MERCHANDISE LINE, BY THE WAY,
BE THIS PUNISHER SKULL WITH
TRUMP HAIR.
WHICH, FIRST...
VERY, VERY COOL.
AND SECOND, ALL I REALLY SEE ON
THAT SKULL IS A SWOOPING
PIXIE CUT, SO TO BE HONEST, IT
COULD JUST AS EASILY BE
ETON DIANNE WIEST.
AND ST GONNA CHOOSE TO
BELIEVE HE'S WEARINGOKY
DIANNE WIEST HOODIE.
BUT THAT IST SCRATCHING THE
SURFACE OF THE DEEP BENCH OF
IDIOTS, FREAKS, AND WANNABE
TOUGH GUYS EAGER TO GET INTO
THE WHITE HOUSE AND START
IN JANUARY, THINGS COULD GET
VE BRY FAST.
WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR LAST
QUESTION, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
WELL, THAT REALLY DEPE WHO
"WE" IS.
FIRST, WAY TO STE LANDING,UY -
BUD!
BUT THERE ARE THINGS BIDEN COULD
DOORE LEAVINCE.
HE COULD GRANT, OR EXTEND,
TEMPORARY PROTECTED STATUS TO
SOME IMMIGRANTS CURRENTLY IN THE
U.S., TO PROTECT THEM FROM
DEPORTATION.
ALSO, HE AND THE SENATE COULD
FILL THE NINE OPEN INSPECTOR
GENERAL POSITIONS AT KEY
AGENCIES LIKNSA, IRS, AND
TREA- WHICH FEELS VERY
IMPORTANT, BECAUSE OVERSIGHT IS
CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO BE A
PRIORITY FOR TRUMP.
HE COULD ALSO COMMUTE
SENTENCES OF FEDERAL PRISONERS
ON DEATH ROW TO LIFE IN PRISON
SO TRUMP CEPEAT HIS
AGONIZING EXECUTION SPREE OF HIS
FIRST TERM.
NOW AS FOR THE SENATE, IT COULD
PASS THE PRESS ACT, A FEDERAL
SHIELD LAW THAT ALREADY PASSED
THE HOUSE UNANIMOUSLY.
IT WOULD PROTECT THE
CONFIDENTIALITY OF JOURNALISTS'
SOURCE PERSONAL DEVICES
FROM FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT.
AND WHILE I AMITELY NOT A
JOURNALIST, THERE ARE MANY GREAT
ONES WHO WORK HERE, AND THE ONLY
TIME ANYONE SHOULD BE INVADING
THEIR PHONE IS WHEN I TEXT THEM
RESEARCH REQUESTS LIKE,
"HAVE TWO PRESIDENTS EVER
KISSED?" OR "IF I DIE ON THE
SHOW, DO I DIE IN REAL LIFE?" OR
"DID TUCKER CARLSON'S MOM REALLY
ONLY LEAVE HIM $2 IN HL?"
BY THE WAY, ARE RESPECTIVELY:
TWICE, UNCLEAR, AND NO, SHE ON
HIM $1, AND IT EXPLAINS AN
AWFUL LOT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND FINALLY, THE SENATE COULD--
AND ABSOLUTELY SHOULD-- CONFIRM
BIDEN'S REMAINING JLPOINTMENTS.
THERE IS A LOT OF IMPORTANT
STUF THEM ST DO,MAT INFURIATINGD
NEWS STORIES SAYING THINGS LIKE,
"AFTER THEIR LOSSES, SOME
DEMOCRATIC SENATORS MIGHT WANT
TO WRAP UP REMAINING BUSINESS
QUICKLY AND MOVE ON FROM
WASHINGTON AS THE HOLIDAYS
APPROACH," PRESENTING ATTENDANCE
PROBLEMS FOR VOTES.
WHICH IS SO MADDENING TO ME!
THESE LAST WEEKS COUNT.
YOU CAN'T JUST FUCK OFF EARLY
BECAU LOST.
I BELIEVE KIMBERLY KARDASHIAN
MIGHT HAVE SAID IT BEST:
YCKING ASS UP AND
WORK.
John: YES, YES, KIM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
GET YOUR FUCKING ASSAND
WORK.T THE THING IS, EVEN EN
AND SEN ASE
THINGS, IT WON'T STOP THE FACT
THAT ON JANUARY 20TH, TRUMP IS
GETTING SWORN BACK INTO OFFICE.
AND THAT IS VERY DEPRESSING.
SO WHAT DO THE REST OF US DO
NEXT?
WELL, FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS,
I'D SAY, "WHATEVER YOU WANT."
I AM NOT GO JUDGE YOU FOR
HOW YOU GET THROUGH THE NEXT
WEEK, FOR TWO REASONS:
ONE, I'M NOT GOING TO SEE IT.
I AM IN THE TV.
THIS IS FAR AWAY FROM WHERE YOU
AND TWO, BECAUSE THERE IS NO
RIGHT REACTION RIGHT NOW.
LOTS OF US ARE GRIEVING-- AND
GRIEF HAS STAGES, WHICH TAKE
DIT AMOUNTS OF
DIFFERENT .
THE STAGE I'M CURRENTLY LOCKED
IN IS
I AM MAD FOR TRANS PEOPLE WHO
ARE BEING THREATENED.
I'M DISGUSTED AT THE PROSPECT OF
MASS DEPORTA
I'M FURIOU BIDEN FOR NOT
DROPPING OUT EARLIER, AND THAT
THE EGOS AND INACTION
TWO MEN OLDER THAN CREDIT CARDS
THEMSELVES HAVE LED US TO THIS
POINT.
I'M MAD THAT WOMEN HAVE TO HEAR
"YOUR BODY, MYICE" FROM
RIGHT-WING DIPSHITS.
I'M MAD THAT ELON MUSK IS
APPARENTLY SITTING IN ON
MEETINGS WITH THE PRESIDENT OF
UKRAINE.
I'M MAD ABOUT THE MYRIAD OF
DAMAGE TRUMP WILL DO THAT CAN'T
EASILY BE UNDONE-- LIKE SETTING
BACK EFFORTS TO FIGHT
CLIMATE CHANGE AND APPOINTING
MORE SUPREME JS.
AND I'M MAD AT THE PROSPECT OF
FOUR MORE YEARS OF PEOPLE
SAYING, "SO IS YOUR JOB, LIKE,
SO MUCH EASIERASPRESIDENT?", IT!
IT F ISN'T!
FUCK YOU SO MUCH!
OU!
FUCK YOU!
SO WHETHER YOU ARE ANGRY RIGHT
OR DESPAIRING, OR GOOGLING
"NEW COUNTRY, NO FASCISTS, HOW
MOVE?"
DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
NEAREST BODY OF WAE
SCREAM INTO A WELL.
PUNCH A TREE.
CURL UP INALL AND WATCH
"THE PRINCESIES" ALL THE
WAY THROUGH AND THEN AT THE END
WHEN "MIRACLES HAPPEN" STARTS
FUCKING DON'T!K, "NO, TH
DON'T LIE TO ME!
PEOPLE CAN BE SHITS!"
BUT TRY NOT TO COMPLETELY
RARSELF IN DESPAIR.
AND I KNOW THAT IS HARD.
RIGHT NOW, ON THE HOPE METER,
MOST OF US ARE PROBABLY PRETTY
CLOSE TO THE BOTTOM.
BUT WE JUST CAN'T AFFORD THAT.
YOU CAN'T DRINK BLEACH, EVEN AND
ESPECIALLY IF THIS GUY TELLS YOU
TO DO IT AGAIN.
DESPAIR DOESN'T HELP ANYTHING.IS
WORSE.
AND I'M NOT TRYING TO PUSH YOU
INTO FALSE HOPE HERE, EITHER.
IF YOUR HOPE METER IS UP HERE,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH Y
ARE YOU A FUCKING CHILD?
THIN ARE VERY BAD!
SO I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU,
"EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OKAY,"
BECAUSE FRANKLY,ISN'T.
IT WASN'T LAE, AND IT
WON'T BE NOW.
HERE IS WHAT I GUESS I'M TRYING
TO SAY:
JUST A WEEK AGO, WE MENTIONED
ELECTIONS ARE REALLY JUST ABOUT
CHOOSING WHO T, AND WHERE
YOU'RE PUSHING THEM FROM.
WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, WE NOW
KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
PUSH MUCH HARDER, AND FROM
FURTHER AWAY THAN WHERE WE JUST
WERE.
WHICH IS AN EXHAUSTING THOUGHT.
BUT I THINK A LOT OF TIMES,
MOVEMENTS BURN OUT BY FOCUSING
EXCLUSIVELY ON HOW FAR WE HAVE
TO GO, WITHOUT CELEBRATING THE
SMALL VICTORIES THAT HAPPEN
ALONG THE WAY.
FOR INSTANCE, EVEN AMID THE
G.O.P.'SSIVE AANS AD
CAMPAIGN, SDAY, DELAWARE
ELECTED THE COUNTRY'S FIRST
OPENLY TRANS MEMBER OF CO,
AND AROUND THE COUNTRY--
ERAPPLAUSE]
STANS AND OTHERWISE
GENDER-EXPANSIVE CANDIDATES WON
RACES, IN PLACES LNTANA,
WAII, AND KENTUCKY, WHERE
EMMA CURTIS WAS ELECTED TO THE
LEXINGTON CITY COUNCIL.
AND THAT IS A BIG DEAL
CURTIS IS HOPING THIS RESULT
WILL SET AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS
IN THE SAME BOAT.
IF IOULD SAY ANYTHINYYOUNGERE
SAME THING THAT I WOULD SAY TO
ANY TRANS KID WHO'S WATCHING
THIS NOW, WHICH IS THAT YOU CAN
SUCCEED B OF WHO YOU ARE,
POLITICIANS TE YOU YOU HAVE TO
BE.
AND YOU'VE GOT A FUTURE.
THIS CITY, IT BELONGS TO YOU,
TOO.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] T DOES!
IT IS A POWERFUL THING TO HAVE
GROUP SAYING, "I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD EXIST" AND TO BE ABLE
TO RESPOH "I'M LITERALLY
AN ELECTED OFFICIAL."
HER BEING ELECTED IS NOW MY
FAVORITE FACTBOUT LEXINGTON,
JUST AF THAT IRISM
WEBSITE CONFIDENTLY PROCLAIMS IT
"THE HAPITAL OF THE
WORLD."
THE URL FOR THAT, BY THE WAY, IS
VisitLex.com/ThingsToDo/Horses.
AND LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SAY,
"DON'T MIND IF I DO."
AND THAT IS NOT ALL.
SEVEN STATES VOTED TO EITHER
OVERTURN ABORTION BANS OR ADD
PROTECTIONS TO THEIR STATE
CONSTITUTIONS.
BECAUSE IT FELL JUST SHORT OFOOL
THE 60% THAT IT NEEDED TO PASS.E
57% BE THE LOSING SIDE OF THAT
VOTE.
AND THE ABORTION MEASURES THAT
DID GET PASSED DID SO THANKS TO
RELENTLESS ORGANIZING AT THE
STATE LEVEL, FROM ACTIVISTS LIKE
THIS WOMAN IN ARIZONA:
THIS IS THE BEST AND ONLY WAY
TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR STATE
PRESERVES ABORTION ACCESS.
CHRIS LOVE HE CTHEASURE AND E
BALLOT.
SUPPORTBOTH PARTIES NOWNG
PUTS RIGHTS BACK IN THE HANDS OF
THIS IS A RESOUNDING VICTORY
FOR THE PEOPLE OF ARIZONA,
ESPECIALLY THE PEOPLE WHO CAN
PROVIDE ABORTION CARE.DERS W
THEY CAN REST EASIER NOW KNOWING
n: THAT IS GASSED PROP 139
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALTHOUGH, I WOULD EMPHASIZE THAT
SHE SAID REST "EASIER" THERE,NO"
UNFORTUNATELY, AS WE KNOW, THERE
IS NO RESTING EASY DURING A
TRUMP PRESIDENCY.
ANYTHING CAN H AND N
A GOOD WAY.
AND I KNOW THAT FOCUSING ON THE
GOOD NEWS EEK FEELS LIKE
FINDING $20N YOUR POCKET IN
THE MIDDLE OF A BEAR ATTACK.
BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO TAKE YOUR
SILVER LININGS WHERE YOU CAN
FIND THEM.
ANDALSO WOTING,
ARIZONA WENT TO TRUMP-- AS,
INTERESTINGLY, DID OVER HALF THE
STATES THAT VOTED TO PROTECT
ABORTION.
IN FACT, MISSOURI VOTED NOT ONLY
OVERTURNED ITS ABORTION BAN,
BUT ALSO TO INCREASE MINIMUM
WAGE AND REQUIRE SICK LEAVE,
WHILEEELECTING BOTH TND
JOSH HAWLEY, SUGGESTING
DEMOCRATIC POLICIES ARE STILL
PO EVEN IN A YEAR WHEN
THEIR CAE WASN'T.
LOOK, FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS, WE
ARE NOT GOING TO SEE MUCH IN THE
WAY OF GAINS AT THE FEDERAL
LEVEL, AT ALL.
AT THE LOCAL LEVEL, THESE
POLICIES ARE CLEARLY RESONATING.
TICAL ORGANIZATION, AT THE
GRASSROOTS, IS WORKING.
AND WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE GROUPS
WORKING TIRELESSLY TO HELP THE
PEOP CAUUMP
THREATENS THE MOST.
WE ACTUALLY SPOKE TO A BUNCH OF
THEM THIS WEEK, AND OLL
POSITIVE THING THEY TOLD U
THEY ACTUALLY GOT A HEAD START
ON PLANNING FO
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION BECAUSE
PROJECT 2025 ESSENTIALLY GAVE
THEM A 900RO FOR
WHAT THEY NEED TO BE READY TO
STRATEGIZE AGAINST.
WHICH IS SOMETHING.
BUT THEY'RE ALSO GOING TO NEED
HELP.
AND YOU KNOW, FRED ROGERS
FAMOUSLY TOL US, IN TIMES OF
EMERGENCY AND DESPAIR, TO "LOOK
FOR THE HELPERS."
IT'S REAOD ADVICE, BUT I
WILL NOTE: IT IS ADVICE FOR
CHILDREN.
AND IF YOU'RE A CHILD WATCHING
ME RIGHT NOW-- FIRST, YOU
EITHER HAVE TERRIBLE OR
AS PARENTS, BUT SECOND,
THIS NEXT PART ISN'T ACTUALLY
FOR YOU, SO JUST FUCK OFF FOR A
WILL YOU?
IF YOU'RE AN ADULT IN THE COMING
AND THAT HELP CAN TAKE MANY.
FORMS, AND THERE ARE PEOPLE
ALREADY DOING IT.
YOU CAN USE THE NATIONAL NETWORK
OF ABORTION FUNDS TO FIND WAYS
TO SUPPORT PEOPLE.
YOU CAN SUPRANS AND OTHER
LGBTQ PEOPLE BY DONATING TIME OR
MONEY TO CENTERS AND
ORGANIZATIONS IN YOUR AREA.
AND IF YOU WANT TO HELP
MIGRANTS, THERE'LL BE GROUPS
WHERE YOU LIVE ALREADY PROVIDING
EVERYTHING FROM LEGAL SERVICES
TO DONATED SUPPLIES.
IF YOU WANT TO SUPPORT THEM, YOU
CAN LITERALLY JOGLE, "HOW
TO HELP MIGRANTS IN..." AND ADD
THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE.
AND REM YOU CAN ORGANIZE
POLITICALLY ATHE ISSUES
YOU BOUT-- AT WORK, AT
SCHOOL, AND IN YOUR COMMUNITY--
TO ELECT A MORE RESPONSIVE
GOVERNMENT.
IF I MAY QUOTE LEXINGTON'S
NEWEST COUNCIL MEMBER, "YOUR
CITYELONGS TO YOU, TOO."
THAT IS ALL REALLY IMPORT
WORK TO BE DOING OVER THE NEXT
FEW YEARS AND BEYOND.
AND LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO DO
AND I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T
EITHER.
YOU MIGHT WELL BE EXHAUSTED,
CONFUSED, SCARED, AND RUNNING ON
FUCKING FUMES RIGHT NOW.
WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABL
BUTOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED JUST
HOW FAR YOU CAN STILL GET EVEN
ON FUMES.
AND DON' TAKE THAT FROM
ME.
TAKE IT FROM ONE OF THE WORLDS
GREATEST EVER SINGERS, BEING
COVERED BY A DIFFERENT SINGER.
♪ IF I FAIL ♪
♪ IF I SUCCEED ♪
♪ AT LEAST I'LL LIVE AS I
BELIEVE ♪
♪ NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT
ME ♪
♪ THEY CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY
DIGNITY ♪
♪ NO! ♪
John: THANKS, KATY.
I CO HAVE SUNG IT BETTER
MYSELF.
THAT IS OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING,
WE WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.
AND WEE YOU THEN.
GOOD NIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
OH, NO!
I DON'T WANT TO BE A FUCKINGTUR!
I'M NOT LEAVING!
YOU LEAVE!
I'M STAYG!
ERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪