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WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK, FULL OF

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HORRENDOUS HEADLINES, FROM

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FROM MILLIONS OF BEES KILLED AND

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WILDFIRES TO

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TO "MARK ZUCKERBERG JUST DROPPED

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A SINGLE WITH T-PAIN."

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THAT'S REAL, BY THE WAY.

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IT'S A COVER OF "GET LOW"-- A

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SONG T-PAIN DID NOT ORIGINALLY

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SING-- AND YOU'RE NOT READY FOR

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HOW BAD IT IS.

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FROM THE WINDOWS TO THE

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WALLS, 'TIL SWEAT DROPS DOWN MY

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BALLS, 'TIL ALL THESE BITCHES

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CRAWL, OH SKEET-SKEET,

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MOTHERFUCKER, OH, SKEET-SKEET,

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GODDAMN.

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WOW.

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THAT MIGHT BE THE WORST THING

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I'VE EVER HEARD.

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IT SOUNDS LIKE "KIDZ BOP" FOR

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ADULTS, WHERE ALL THE SWEARS ARE

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INTACT, BUT THERE'S STILL A DEEP

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LINGERING SENSE THAT MUSIC WAS A

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MISTAKE.

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I DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO PLAY YOU

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ALL OF THAT.

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I COULD'VE JUST PLAYED THE WAY

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HE SANG "MOTHERFUCKER."

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NO, NOT LIKE THAT, DON'T

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ENUNCIATE THAT CLEANLY!

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IT'S LIKE LISTENING TO A RAP BY

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THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE VOICE.

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IT WAS ALSO A WEEK OF INTENSE

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HEADLINES REGARDING TRUMP'S NEW

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CABINET APPOINTEES, WHICH WERE

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- EVEN BY HIS LOW STANDARDS--

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AWFUL.

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FOR HIS AMBASSADOR TO ISRAEL, HE

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PICKED A GUY WHO'S SAID THERE'S

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"NO SUCH THING AS A

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PALESTINIAN."

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FOR DIRECTOR OF NATIONAL

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INTELLIGENCE, A WOMAN WHO'S

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REPEATEDLY PROMOTED RUSSIAN

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PROPAGANDA.

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FOR SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, A FOX

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NEWS HOST WHO-- AMONG MANY

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OTHER THINGS-- HAS DEFENDED

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SERVICE MEMBERS ACCUSED OF WAR

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CRIMES AND SAID WOMEN DON'T

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BELONG IN COMBAT.

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THE HHS, A CONSPIRACY THEORIST

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AND ANTI-VAXXER WITH A WORM IN

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HIS BRAIN.

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AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, FOR AG,

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MATT GAETZ.

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A MAN WHO, IN HIGH SCHOOL, WAS

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VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO NOT BE

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ALLOWED WITHIN 500 FEET OF

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HERE."

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THAT PICK WAS SO EXTREME, EVEN

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CONSERVATIVES FOUND THEMSELVES

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AT A LOSS.

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WHEN I HEARD THAT MATT GAETZ

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WAS PICKED TO BE ATTORNEY

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GENERAL, I THREW UP IN MY MOUTH.

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I'M PRETTY SURE I CALLED HIM

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A CLOWN AND A CHARLATAN.

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AND YOU STAND BY THAT.

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YEAH.

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IT MUST BE THE WORST

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NOMINATION FOR A CABINET

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POSITION IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

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I MEAN, IT MIGHT, BUT

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GET USED TO IT.

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BECAUSE "THE WORST BLANK IN

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AMERICAN HISTORY" IS GOING TO BE

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THIS ADMINISTRATION'S M.O. GOING

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FORWARD.

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SO GET READY FOR THE WORST

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EASTER EGG ROLL IN AMERICAN

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HISTORY.

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THE EASTER BUNNY WILL BE ON

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FIRE, EVERY EGG WILL BE FILLED

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WITH EXPIRED MAYONNAISE, AND ALL

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THE KIDS WHO DON'T WIN WILL BE

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IMMEDIATELY PUT INTO FOSTER

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CARE.

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APPARENTLY, WHEN GAETZ WAS

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ANNOUNCED THERE WERE AUDIBLE

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GASPS BY HOUSE REPUBLICANS.

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AND WHEN A REPORTER ASKED

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CONGRESSMAN MIKE SIMPSON IF

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GAETZ HAD THE EXPERIENCE AND

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CHARACTER TO BE AG, HE

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RESPONDED, "ARE YOU SHITTIN' ME,

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THAT YOU JUST ASKED THAT

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QUESTION?

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NO!"

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WHICH IS OBJECTIVELY THE CORRECT

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RESPONSE TO THE IDEA THIS GUY

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COULD BE ATTORNEY GENERAL-- A

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MAN WHO MY LAWYERS INSIST I

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CANNOT CALL "JEFFREY EPSTEIN IF

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HE WENT TO SHITTIER BEACHES."

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SO I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

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BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THERE.

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THE HEAD OF GOVERNMENT AFFAIRS

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FOR ONE ENVIRONMENTAL ADVOCACY

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GROUP TOLD REPORTERS, "LUCKILY,

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ALL OUR ENVIRONMENTAL LAWS ARE

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OLDER THAN 18 YEARS, SO

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REPRESENTATIVE GAETZ SHOULDN'T

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HAVE MUCH INTEREST IN THEM."

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WHICH IS A SOLID HIT, AND ALSO,

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INCREDIBLY GRIM.

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BECAUSE AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW,

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GAETZ WAS THE SUBJECT OF BOTH A

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FEDERAL INVESTIGATION INTO SEX

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TRAFFICKING-- WHICH CONCLUDED

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LAST YEAR WITHOUT CHARGES-- AND

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A HOUSE INVESTIGATION INTO

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ALLEGATIONS HE ENGAGED IN SEXUAL

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MISCONDUCT AND ILLICIT DRUG USE.

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THAT REPORT WAS DUE TO BE

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RELEASED THIS WEEK, BUT WAS

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EFFECTIVELY ENDED WHEN HE

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SUDDENLY RESIGNED TO BECOME THE

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COUNTRY'S TOP LAW ENFORCEMENT

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OFFICER.

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MANY ARE CALLING FOR IT TO BE

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RELEASED ANYWAY, AND WHILE GAETZ

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HAS DENIED ANY ALLEGATIONS,

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DAMNING PARTS ARE ALREADY

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LEAKING OUT, INCLUDING THAT ONE

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WITNESS TESTIFIED TO THE

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COMMITTEE THAT GAETZ HAD SEX

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WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS 17 AND

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ANOTHER TESTIFIED THAT SHE

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WITNESSED IT.

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AND YET, THERE'S STILL A

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QUESTION OF WHETHER REPUBLICAN

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SENATORS WILL REJECT GAETZ'S

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NOMINATION.

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SOME HAVE EXPRESSED RESERVATIONS

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- LISA MURKOWSKI HAS SAID, "I

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DON'T THINK IT'S A SERIOUS

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NOMINATION FOR ATTORNEY

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GENERAL," AND SUSAN COLLINS

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SAID, "I WAS SHOCKED BY THE

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ANNOUNCEMENT," "I'M SURE THERE

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WILL BE A LOT OF QUESTIONS

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RAISED AT HIS HEARING."

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ALTHOUGH, DON'T READ TOO MUCH

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INTO THAT.

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AS WE ALL KNOW, THE SUSAN

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COLLINS SCALE OF GOVERNMENT

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ETHICS GOES, "CONCERNED, BUT

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GONNA VOTE FOR HIM," "SHOCKED,

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BUT GONNA VOTE FOR HIM,"

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"QUESTIONS RAISED, BUT GONNA

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VOTE FOR HIM," AND "OUTRAGED,

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BUT FUCK IT, STILL GONNA VOTE

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FOR HIM."

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AND OTHER REPUBLICAN SENATORS

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HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE NONCOMMITAL.

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DO YOU THINK MATT GAETZ IS

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CONFIRMABLE?

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WE'LL FOUND OUT, WON'T WE.

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DO YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS

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ABOUT IT?

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WE'LL SEE.

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SENATOR KENNEDY, WHAT DO YOU

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THINK OF MATT GAETZ AS ATTORNEY

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GENERAL?

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

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YEAH, "HAPPY

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THANKSGIVING."

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I'D SAY THAT'S THE MOST JARRING

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THING THAT KENNEDY COULD'VE SAID

187
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AT THAT MOMENT, BUT I'LL REMIND

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YOU, HE COULD HAVE GONE WITH

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THIS.

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I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE YOUR

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COCK IN MY MOUTH.

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YEAH, YEAH.

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YEAH, THAT'S-- THAT'S THE CLIP

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THAT KEEPS ON GIVING, AND

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THAT YOU NEVER EVER WANT.

196
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AND LOOK, a LOT CAN HAPPEN WITH

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THESE NOMINATIONS BETWEEN NOW

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AND INAUGURATION DAY.

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SO FOR NOW, LET'S MOVE ON TO OUR

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MAIN STORY TONIGHT, WHICH

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CONCERNS TIKTOK-- THE SOCIAL

202
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MEDIA APP MANY ARE ADDICTED TO,

203
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THANKS TO ITS COOKING TUTORIALS,

204
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DANCES THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR

205
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ANYONE BORN BEFORE 1985 TO LOOK

206
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COOL DOING, AND MASTERPIECES

207
00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:34,699
LIKE THIS.

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THERE IS TRULY NOTHING I LOVE

209
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MORE THAN WATCHING THIS MAN'S

210
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VIDEOS AND GUESSING WHAT HE'S

211
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MAKING.

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OKAY.

213
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:50,982
OH, LIKE A SUBMARINE--

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TOTALLY, A SNAKE.

215
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GOT IT.

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WHAT A JOURNEY!

217
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,287
AND HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW

218
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TV'S SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH

219
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THAT.

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I'D ABSOLUTELY WATCH THAT GUY

221
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HOST A GAME SHOW TITLED

222
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"DICK OR SNAKE?"

223
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IT'S BASICALLY "IS IT CAKE?,"

224
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ONLY WITH SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER

225
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SNAKE-ON-DICK INJURIES.

226
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TIKTOK IS MASSIVELY POPULAR.

227
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IT HAS MORE THAN A BILLION USERS

228
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WORLDWIDE, AND 170 MILLION

229
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MONTHLY ACTIVE USERS IN THE U.S.

230
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- WITH FULLY A THIRD OF U.S.

231
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ADULTS-- AND A MAJORITY OF

232
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THOSE UNDER 30-- USING IT.

233
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ALL OF WHICH MAKES IT PRETTY

234
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REMARKABLE THAT IT MAY BE ON THE

235
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BRINK OF GOING AWAY.

236
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BECAUSE YOU MIGHT'VE FORGOTTEN

237
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WITH EVERYTHING ELSE GOING ON,

238
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BUT IN APRIL, THIS HAPPENED.

239
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THIS MORNING, THE CLOCK

240
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BEGINS TICKING DOWN FOR TIKTOK

241
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AFTER THE SENATE LAST NIGHT

242
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PASSED A BILL GIVING THE SOCIAL

243
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MEDIA PLATFORM'S CHINESE PARENT

244
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"SELL THE

245
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APP OR BE BANNED IN THE U.S."

246
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LAWMAKERS IN BOTH PARTIES SAY

247
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TIKTOK POSES A SERIOUS NATIONAL

248
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SECURITY RISK.

249
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IT'S TRUE, TIKTOK COULD

250
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BE BANNED BY JANUARY 19, BECAUSE

251
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IT'S A "SECURITY THREAT."

252
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WHICH SOUNDS FRIGHTENING, EVEN

253
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IF THOSE CLAIMS WERE MADE UNDER

254
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FOOTAGE OF THIS ORANGE FURBALL

255
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GOING TO TOWN ON ITS OWN FEET.

256
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"WE CAN'T LET THE CHINESE GET

257
00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:02,453
THEIR HANDS ON OUR PRIVATE DATA,

258
00:07:02,454 --> 00:07:04,255
LIKE HOW OFTEN DOCTOR TUNA FISH

259
00:07:04,256 --> 00:07:05,490
GIVES HIMSELF "THE FULL

260
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:08,059
TARANTINO."

261
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,827
THE POINT IS, CONGRESS CAME DOWN

262
00:07:09,828 --> 00:07:11,496
ON TIKTOK HARD.

263
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,398
AND WHEN THAT LAW PASSED-- WITH

264
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:14,465
BROAD BIPARTISAN SUPPORT, BY THE

265
00:07:14,466 --> 00:07:16,134
WAY-- TIKTOK'S USERS WERE NOT

266
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,568
THRILLED.

267
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,504
AN ARMY OF YOUNG TIKTOK

268
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,205
REBELS ARE TAKING A BREAK FROM

269
00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:23,574
VIRAL DANCE CRAZES AND

270
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:24,676
CHALLENGES AND COMING TOGETHER

271
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,177
TO STOP THE GOVERNMENT FROM

272
00:07:26,178 --> 00:07:27,612
TAKING AWAY THEIR FAVORITE

273
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,247
SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM.

274
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,215
THEY'RE USING THEIR PHONES TO

275
00:07:31,216 --> 00:07:32,984
ACTUALLY MAKE PHONE CALLS TO

276
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,652
MEMBERS OF CONGRESS.

277
00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:36,554
DO NOT BAN TIKTOK.

278
00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:40,191
THAT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE.

279
00:07:40,192 --> 00:07:40,825
LIKE, I'M AN 18-YEAR-OLD GIRL

280
00:07:40,826 --> 00:07:41,125
IN MICHIGAN.

281
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:42,293
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR CHINA?

282
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:42,727
TAKE MY INFORMATION.

283
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:45,096
I DON'T CARE.

284
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,798
OKAY, THAT'S AN AMAZING

285
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:47,632
REACTION.

286
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,434
"TAKE MY INFORMATION.

287
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:50,735
I DON'T CARE.

288
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:51,736
MY ADDRESS IS 2343 EMERSON

289
00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:52,804
PLACE, MY BLOOD TYPE IS A

290
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:53,738
POSITIVE, AND I THINK MY DAD DID

291
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:54,439
TAX FRAUD.

292
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,540
NOW WHAT, CHINA?

293
00:07:55,541 --> 00:08:01,145
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT."

294
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:01,713
BUT THINK ABOUT IT, CONGRESS

295
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:02,380
MADE TEENAGERS SO MAD,

296
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,916
THEY MADE ACTUAL PHONE CALLS.

297
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:05,683
THAT IS DEDICATION.

298
00:08:05,684 --> 00:08:06,384
TEENS HATE DOING THAT.

299
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:07,618
IF YOU EVER NEED TO SCARE ONE,

300
00:08:07,619 --> 00:08:09,287
JUST HAND THEM A RINGING PHONE

301
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:12,690
AND SAY "IT'S FOR YOU."

302
00:08:12,691 --> 00:08:13,424
BUT THAT REACTION SHOULDN'T BE

303
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:15,393
SURPRISING.

304
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:16,461
PEOPLE LOVE TIKTOK-- AND NOT

305
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:17,628
JUST AS A PLACE TO WATCH A GUY

306
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:18,963
WATCHING A GUY MAKE A GIANT

307
00:08:18,964 --> 00:08:21,232
CHOCOLATE DICK SNAKE.

308
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:22,967
NEARLY 40% OF ADULTS UNDER 30

309
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,869
SAY THEY REGULARLY GET THEIR

310
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,270
NEWS FROM TIKTOK, AND IT'S A

311
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:27,739
SIGNIFICANT DRIVER OF BUSINESS,

312
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,173
GIVEN THAT MORE THAN SEVEN

313
00:08:29,174 --> 00:08:31,576
MILLION SMALL BUSINESSES USE IT.

314
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,077
AND YET, SOME LAWMAKERS INSIST

315
00:08:33,078 --> 00:08:34,479
IT'S ALSO AMONG THE BIGGEST

316
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,947
THREATS FACING OUR NATION.

317
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,482
TIKTOK IS A GRAVE NATIONAL

318
00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:39,183
SECURITY THREAT TO AMERICANS.

319
00:08:39,184 --> 00:08:40,051
TIKTOK IS JUST CHINESE

320
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,219
MALWARE.

321
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:41,786
IT'S JUST JUNK FOOD FOR OUR

322
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:42,887
BRAINS.

323
00:08:42,888 --> 00:08:45,590
IT IS SPYWARE, IT IS BEING

324
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,758
WEAPONIZED.

325
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:49,060
TIKTOK IS A GUN AIMED AT

326
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,328
AMERICANS' HEADS.

327
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:51,796
YEAH, THOSE ARE STRONG

328
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:52,330
WORDS.

329
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:53,698
BECAUSE WE KNOW CONGRESS WILL

330
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,633
NOT STAND BY AND WATCH SOMEONE

331
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:57,435
POINTING A METAPHORICAL GUN AT

332
00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,470
AMERICANS' HEADS.

333
00:08:59,471 --> 00:08:59,771
ACTUAL GUNS?

334
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:00,371
THAT'S A COMPLICATED ISSUE FOR

335
00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:02,240
SOME REASON.

336
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:02,840
BUT METAPHORICAL GUN VIOLENCE

337
00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:05,243
WILL NOT STAND!

338
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,311
SO IF AN APP THIS POPULAR IS

339
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:08,980
SUPPOSEDLY SUCH A DIRE THREAT,

340
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,748
TONIGHT, LET'S LOOK AT TIKTOK.

341
00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:11,816
WHO'S BEHIND IT, WHAT THE

342
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:12,383
CONCERNS ARE, AND WHAT THIS

343
00:09:12,384 --> 00:09:14,552
MIGHT REALLY BE ALL ABOUT.

344
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:15,586
BECAUSE THIS STORY'S ACTUALLY A

345
00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:16,220
LOT MORE NUANCED THAN YOU MIGHT

346
00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:19,057
THINK.

347
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,792
AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT

348
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:21,759
TIKTOK'S HAD A METEORIC RISE.

349
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,161
IT'S OWNED BY BYTEDANCE, A

350
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,295
CHINESE COMPANY WHO FIRST MADE A

351
00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:25,730
SIMILAR APP FOR THE CHINESE

352
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:26,531
MARKET CALLED DOUYIN, BACK IN

353
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,800
2016.

354
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:29,834
THE NEXT YEAR, THEY LAUNCHED

355
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:31,969
TIKTOK AS THE INTERNATIONAL

356
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:32,937
VERSION, THEN PURCHASED AN APP

357
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,038
CALLED MUSICAL.LY WITH A

358
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:35,173
PRE-EXISTING USER BASE IN THE

359
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:36,841
U.S., MERGING THE TWO IN 2018 TO

360
00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:38,843
CREATE THE APP WE KNOW TODAY.

361
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,112
BUT TIKTOK'S BREAKOUT MOMENT WAS

362
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:43,181
THE PANDEMIC, WHEN ALL OF A

363
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,949
SUDDEN, MANY OF US WERE STUCK AT

364
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,617
HOME WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT

365
00:09:46,618 --> 00:09:47,819
LEARN HOW TO MAKE CLOUD BREAD

366
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,354
WHIP UP COFFEE, AND TRY TO

367
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:50,621
MASTER THE SAVAGE DANCE.

368
00:09:50,622 --> 00:09:53,024
IT'S GENUINELY HARD TO IMAGINE A

369
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,226
BETTER SCENARIO FOR TIKTOK TO

370
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:56,027
THRIVE IN THAN A PANDEMIC.

371
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,028
SUDDENLY, THEY HAD A CAPTIVE

372
00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:58,096
AUDIENCE WHOSE ONLY OTHER

373
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:58,996
ENTERTAINMENT OPTIONS WERE

374
00:09:58,997 --> 00:10:00,665
"GETTING INTO SOURDOUGH,"

375
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,467
"WINDEXING GROCERIES A THIRD

376
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:04,335
TIME," OR, OF COURSE, RETREATING

377
00:10:04,336 --> 00:10:05,136
INTO A BLANK VOID WHERE THEY

378
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,838
SLOWLY WENT INSANE.

379
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:09,574
I'M FINE NOW.

380
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:10,241
DON'T WORRY.

381
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,142
I'M FINE NOW.

382
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:12,176
BUT LAWMAKERS WERE ALREADY

383
00:10:12,177 --> 00:10:13,244
RAISING ALARMS ABOUT TIKTOK

384
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,513
BEING CHINESE OWNED.

385
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,148
AND BY MID-2020, TRUMP SIGNED AN

386
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,549
EXECUTIVE ORDER BANNING IT,

387
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,151
SAYING TIKTOK WOULD BE SHUT DOWN

388
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,519
UNLESS MICROSOFT OR ANOTHER

389
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,286
COMPANY PURCHASED IT FROM

390
00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:24,489
BYTEDANCE.

391
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:25,523
THAT NEVER WOUND UP HAPPENING,

392
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,425
AS A COURT FOUND THAT TRUMP HAD

393
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:28,659
OVERSTEPPED IN TRYING TO BAN IT

394
00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:30,361
BY EXECUTIVE ORDER.

395
00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:33,331
AND IN THE YEARS SINCE, TIKTOK'S

396
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:33,865
BEEN AT PAINS TO PUBLICLY

397
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,166
DISTANCE ITSELF FROM CHINA.

398
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:36,234
IT LAUNCHED SOMETHING CALLED

399
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,468
PROJECT TEXAS, WHERE THEY

400
00:10:37,469 --> 00:10:39,203
BASICALLY PROMISED TO STORE U.S.

401
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:40,605
USERS' DATA ON U.S. SERVERS,

402
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:42,607
MAINTAINED BY A THIRD-PARTY U.S.

403
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,141
COMPANY.

404
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,409
WHICH MIGHT SOUND GOOD, BUT

405
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,477
THERE ARE REAL QUESTIONS ABOUT

406
00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:47,578
HOW EFFECTIVE THAT'S BEEN, WITH

407
00:10:47,579 --> 00:10:48,946
ONE WORKER SAYING THE DATA

408
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:50,314
PROTECTIONS AMOUNT TO BASICALLY

409
00:10:50,315 --> 00:10:52,183
"A WINK AND A NOD."

410
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:54,252
MEANWHILE, THEY'VE LAUNCHED A

411
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,154
P.R. PUSH, WITH ADS LEANING HARD

412
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,556
IN TO AMERICANA, LIKE THIS ONE,

413
00:10:58,557 --> 00:10:59,924
FEATURING A VETERAN NAMED

414
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,292
PATRIOTIC KENNY.

415
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:02,760
MY SCOOTER BROKE DOWN.

416
00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:04,429
I WENT INTO A DEPRESSION.

417
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,029
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?

418
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:06,564
PRETTY SAD.

419
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:07,799
AND I POSTED IT TO SHOW THAT

420
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,335
KENNY IS NOT ALWAYS HAPPY.

421
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,669
WITHIN 24 HOURS, PEOPLE HAD

422
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,872
DONATED OVER $5,000.

423
00:11:14,873 --> 00:11:16,841
AND WITHIN A WEEK, PEOPLE HAD

424
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,109
DONATED $110,000.

425
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:18,743
AND KENNY HIT A MILLION

426
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:21,346
FOLLOWERS.

427
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:21,879
IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE

428
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,414
TREMENDOUSLY.

429
00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:24,682
NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE

430
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,418
HAPPENED WITHOUT TIKTOK.

431
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:27,885
WOW.

432
00:11:27,886 --> 00:11:29,187
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S MORE

433
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,488
AMERICAN THERE-- KENNY'S TASTE

434
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:31,656
IN HOME DECOR, OR THE FACT HE

435
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,057
HAD TO GO VIRAL ON SOCIAL MEDIA

436
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:33,825
TO GET ACCESS TO BASIC MEDICAL

437
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:36,194
EQUIPMENT.

438
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,029
ALTHOUGH, TO BE CLEAR, TIKTOK

439
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,697
DIDN'T BUY KENNY A SCOOTER,

440
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:40,965
OTHER PEOPLE DID.

441
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:42,433
IT'S A BIT LIKE HAVING PEOPLE

442
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,469
PUT MONEY IN A JAR FOR CHARITY

443
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:45,770
AND THEN THANKING THE JAR.

444
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:46,904
"NONE OF THIS COULD HAVE

445
00:11:46,905 --> 00:11:48,873
HAPPENED WITHOUT YOU, JAR!

446
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:52,410
TRULY YOU ARE THE BEST OF US!"

447
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:53,778
BUT DESPITE THOSE EFFORTS,

448
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:54,679
CONCERN ABOUT CHINA'S INFLUENCE

449
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,547
OVER TIKTOK CONTINUED TO GROW,

450
00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:58,016
CULMINATING IN THE LAW PASSED

451
00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,717
EARLIER THIS YEAR, DEMANDING IT

452
00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,953
BE SOLD, OR BANNED FROM APP

453
00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:02,954
STORES IN THE U.S.-- A LAW, BY

454
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,789
THE WAY, THAT PASSED THE HOUSE

455
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,892
352 TO 65.

456
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,461
AND IT'S WORTH TALKING ABOUT THE

457
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,499
THE DATA TIKTOK IS COLLECTING

458
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,402
FROM ITS USERS AND THE POWER

459
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:17,935
IT HAS TO PUSH CONTENT TO

460
00:12:17,936 --> 00:12:18,302
THEM.

461
00:12:18,303 --> 00:12:18,903
AND LET'S START WITH THE DATA.

462
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:19,971
TIKTOK IS POWERED BY AN

463
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:20,772
ALGORITHM THAT TRACKS THINGS

464
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,440
LIKE WHAT VIDEOS YOU SKIP PAST,

465
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:23,408
AND WHICH YOU LINGER ON.

466
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,076
THAT WAY, IT CAN QUICKLY FIGURE

467
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,878
OUT EXACTLY WHAT YOU LIKE, AND

468
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,579
FEED YOU MORE OF THE SAME THING,

469
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,081
OVER AND OVER AGAIN, NOT UNLIKE

470
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:30,815
A DOTING GRANDMOTHER, OR MARVEL

471
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:34,552
STUDIOS.

472
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:35,653
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY

473
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,255
WEIRDED OUT BY HOW PERCEPTIVE

474
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,190
TIKTOK'S ALGORITHM CAN BE,

475
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,258
BECAUSE IT CAN SEEM TO KNOW YOU

476
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,794
BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF.

477
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:43,628
I DOWNLOADED THIS APP A YEAR

478
00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:44,696
AGO.

479
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:45,997
I THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT.

480
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:49,467
AFTER BEING ON TIKTOK, I QUICKLY

481
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:50,768
REALIZED I WAS NOT STRAIGHT, AND

482
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,103
THAT I WAS BISEXUAL.

483
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,137
I ALWAYS SAY THAT THE

484
00:12:53,138 --> 00:12:54,272
ALGORITHM KNEW THAT I WAS GAY

485
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,173
BEFORE I DID, AND I STAND BY

486
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:55,973
THAT.

487
00:12:55,974 --> 00:12:57,442
IT ABSOLUTELY KNEW.

488
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,210
ARE ANY OTHER GIRLS, LIKE

489
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:00,778
KIND OF AGGRAVATED THAT IT TOOK

490
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,013
MORE THAN 20 YEARS TO FIGURE OUT

491
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,214
WE WERE BISEXUAL, BUT IT TOOK MY

492
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:03,748
TIK TOK ALGORITHM LIKE 37

493
00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:06,818
SECONDS.

494
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:07,352
WOULD'VE SAVED ME SO MUCH

495
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,654
FUCKING TIME.

496
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:11,823
YEAH, TIKTOK'S

497
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,124
SPEEDRUNNING PEOPLE'S SEXUAL

498
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,592
AWAKENINGS.

499
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:15,860
BEFORE, A REVELATION LIKE THAT

500
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,396
MIGHT'VE TAKEN YEARS OF THERAPY,

501
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:22,433
OR AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF

502
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:22,967
"XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS."

503
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:23,601
I HONESTLY DON'T THINK A MACHINE

504
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,303
HAS BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE

505
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,404
SEXUAL AWAKENINGS SINCE

506
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:27,739
"THE IRON GIANT."

507
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:28,373
AND I'M NOT EXPLAINING MYSELF TO

508
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,375
YOU ABOUT THAT.

509
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,476
I'M NOT DOING IT.

510
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,677
HE'S AN OBJECTIVELY HOT ROBOT.

511
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:33,611
HE'S TALL, HAS KIND EYES, IS

512
00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:34,645
GREAT WITH KIDS, AND I'M SURE

513
00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:35,546
HAS A VIBRATE SETTING.

514
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,415
DON'T BE WEIRD ABOUT THIS!

515
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,784
YOU'RE BEING WEIRD.

516
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,352
THE ALGORITHM IS INCREDIBLY

517
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,688
POWERFUL BECAUSE YOU'RE

518
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,123
CONSTANTLY FEEDING IT NEW DATA

519
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:45,723
- EVERY INTERACTION YOU HAVE

520
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,158
WITH A VIDEO TRAINS IT MORE ON

521
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,393
YOUR PREFERENCES.

522
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,561
AND BECAUSE THOSE VIDEOS ARE SO

523
00:13:50,562 --> 00:13:51,763
SHORT, IT CAN GATHER A LOT OF

524
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,431
DATA ABOUT YOU VERY QUICKLY.

525
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:54,365
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL THE

526
00:13:54,366 --> 00:13:55,533
INFORMATION IT GATHERS.

527
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:56,634
IT KNOWS THE DEVICE YOU ARE

528
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:57,702
USING, YOUR LOCATION, IP

529
00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:59,671
ADDRESS, SEARCH HISTORY, THE

530
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,805
CONTENT OF YOUR MESSAGES, WHAT

531
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,407
YOU'RE VIEWING AND FOR HOW LONG.

532
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,908
IT ALSO INFERS FACTORS SUCH AS

533
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,176
YOUR AGE RANGE, GENDER AND

534
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,010
INTERESTS, AND IN THE US, ITS

535
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,079
OWN PRIVACY POLICY SAYS IT MAY

536
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:08,680
COLLECT BIOMETRIC INFORMATION

537
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:13,518
INCLUDING FACE AND VOICEPRINTS,

538
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,352
FROM ANY CONTENT YOU POST.

539
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,853
THAT'S A LOT OF PERSONAL

540
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,155
INFORMATION, AND SOME OF

541
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:18,589
TIKTOK'S CRITICS PAINT AN

542
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,190
ALARMING PICTURE OF WHAT THAT

543
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,291
MEANS.

544
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,060
IMAGINE YOU WOKE UP TOMORROW

545
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:23,027
MORNING AND YOU SAW A NEWS

546
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,329
REPORT THAT CHINA HAD

547
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:28,066
DISTRIBUTED 100 MILLION SENSORS

548
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,667
AROUND THE UNITED STATES, AND

549
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,602
THAT ANY TIME AN AMERICAN WALKED

550
00:14:31,603 --> 00:14:33,037
PAST ONE OF THESE SENSORS, THIS

551
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,572
SENSOR AUTOMATICALLY COLLECTED

552
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:37,141
OFF OF YOUR PHONE YOUR NAME,

553
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:38,976
YOUR HOME ADDRESS, YOUR PERSONAL

554
00:14:38,977 --> 00:14:40,178
NETWORK, WHO YOU'RE FRIENDS

555
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:41,979
WITH, YOUR ONLINE VIEWING

556
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,648
HABITS, AND A WHOLE HOST OF

557
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,049
OTHER PIECES OF INFORMATION.

558
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:45,616
WELL, THAT'S PRECISELY WHAT

559
00:14:45,617 --> 00:14:47,652
TIKTOK IS.

560
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,120
YEAH, THAT'S A

561
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,488
SCARY-SOUNDING MESSAGE, ONLY

562
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,223
SLIGHTLY UNDERCUT BY THE FACT

563
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,224
THAT GUY'S NAME IS, AND THIS IS

564
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:56,027
TRUE, KLON KITCHEN.

565
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,895
WHICH SOUNDS LESS LIKE A NAME TO

566
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:58,730
TRUST AND MORE LIKE A START-UP

567
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,764
TRYING TO DISRUPT THE SPATULA

568
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,200
SPACE.

569
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,534
BASICALLY, THE CONCERN IS THAT

570
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,103
ALL THIS DATA COULD ONE DAY BE

571
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,204
USED BY THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT

572
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:07,638
TO IDENTIFY INTELLIGENCE

573
00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:09,240
OPPORTUNITIES-- FOR EXAMPLE, BY

574
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:13,511
HELPING CHINA UNCOVER THE VICES,

575
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:14,645
PREDILECTIONS, OR PRESSURE

576
00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:16,147
POINTS OF A POTENTIAL SPY

577
00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:16,914
RECRUIT OR BLACKMAIL TARGET.

578
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:17,615
AND I MEAN...

579
00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:18,049
MAYBE?

580
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:21,819
I GUESS THERE'S A NONZERO CHANCE

581
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,353
A FUTURE U.S. PRESIDENT IS

582
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,321
CURRENTLY RUNNING A FAN ACCOUNT

583
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,056
DEVOTED TO SONIC THE HEDGEHOG'S

584
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:25,890
FEET, WHICH COULD BE WEAPONIZED

585
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,425
AGAINST THEM IN THE FUTURE.

586
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,426
THOUGH IT'S WORTH NOTING-- A

587
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,761
HUGE COMPONENT OF BLACKMAIL

588
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,830
REQUIRES SHAME.

589
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,899
AND IF YOU'RE NOT ON TIKTOK,

590
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,668
YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON JUST HOW

591
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,436
LITTLE SHAME ITS USERS HAVE.

592
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,704
THERE'S AN ENTIRE CHALLENGE THAT

593
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,339
JUST CONSISTS OF NAMING YOUR

594
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,541
BIGGEST TRAUMAS FOR ALL THE

595
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,176
WORLD TO HEAR, WHILE DUMPING

596
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:47,712
CANDY INTO A BOWL.

597
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,013
AND IT IS RIVETING.

598
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,081
AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING

599
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,249
BYTEDANCE HASN'T BEEN GUILTY OF

600
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,417
ALARMING PRIVACY VIOLATIONS.

601
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,318
IT HAS!

602
00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:55,453
A FEW YEARS BACK, THIS REPORTER

603
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:56,521
WAS INVESTIGATING TIKTOK AND

604
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,122
BYTEDANCE, ONLY TO LEARN THAT

605
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:58,656
SHE WAS BEING INVESTIGATED

606
00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:00,892
HERSELF.

607
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,628
AFTER I WROTE MY FIRST FEW

608
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:09,300
STORIES, I GOT A BIG LEAK FROM

609
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,368
INSIDE THE COMPANY.

610
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,337
SOMEONE INSIDE THE COMPANY GAVE

611
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:12,970
ME A BUNCH OF AUDIO RECORDINGS.

612
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:13,604
IN AN EFFORT TO DISCOVER THE

613
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:14,138
LEAK A TEAM OF BYTEDANCE

614
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,039
EMPLOYEES LAUNCHED A

615
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,641
SURVEILLANCE PROJECT CALLED

616
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,875
PROJECT RAVEN, PULLING

617
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,711
INFORMATION FROM EMILY'S

618
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,346
PERSONAL TIKTOK ACCOUNT TO

619
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,680
MONITOR HER IP ADDRESS.

620
00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:24,816
AND THE THEORY WAS THAT IF

621
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,719
THEY COULD MATCH MY IP ADDRESS

622
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,053
TO THE IP ADDRESS OF ONE OF

623
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:32,090
THEIR EMPLOYEES, THEY COULD

624
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:34,726
MAYBE PLACE ME AND AN EMPLOYEE

625
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,128
AT A STARBUCKS OR AT A LIBRARY

626
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:39,397
AT THE SAME TIME AND THEN MAYBE

627
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:39,998
FIGURE OUT WHO WAS TALKING TO

628
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:40,264
ME.

629
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:41,466
YEAH, IF THEY KNEW ONE

630
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:42,934
OF THEIR EMPLOYEES HAD BEEN IN

631
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,702
THE SAME LOCATION AS THAT

632
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:45,336
JOURNALIST, IT'D BE A PRETTY BIG

633
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,704
CLUE.

634
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:47,905
AND IT WAS MUCH EASIER TO PULL

635
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:49,607
IP ADDRESSES THAN GO THROUGH

636
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,808
EVERY STARBUCKS DUMPSTER TO TRY

637
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:52,410
AND FIND THE CUP THAT SAID

638
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:54,379
"SECRET WHISTLEBLOWER."

639
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,413
NOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU: THE

640
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:56,881
COMPANY SAYS THE EMPLOYEES

641
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,249
INVOLVED IN THAT SURVEILLANCE

642
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,417
SCHEME WERE FIRED, AND IT'S

643
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:00,618
RESTRUCTURED THE TEAM IN CHARGE

644
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:03,721
OF INTERNAL AUDITS AND REMOVED

645
00:17:03,722 --> 00:17:04,889
ACCESS TO U.S. DATA.

646
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:05,423
IT

647
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:06,791
DOESN'T REALLY MATTER HOW GOOD

648
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:07,625
BYTEDANCE'S PUBLIC INTENTIONS

649
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,460
ARE, BECAUSE FUNDAMENTALLY

650
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:10,395
THEY'RE VULNERABLE TO THE WHIMS

651
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:11,229
OF THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT--

652
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,564
WHICH HAS SHOWN A CLEAR

653
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:14,232
WILLINGNESS TO GO AFTER AMERICAN

654
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,967
DATA.

655
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,903
OFFICIALS HAVE BLAMED CHINESE

656
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:19,470
HACKERS FOR BREACHES OF THE

657
00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:23,574
OFFICE OF PERSONNEL MANAGEMENT,

658
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,376
ANTHEM HEALTH, AND EQUIFAX,

659
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:25,843
AMONG OTHERS.

660
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:26,377
AND IF CHINA WANTED TO USE

661
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,913
BYTEDANCE TO ACCESS TIKTOK'S

662
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:29,514
DATA, THE COMPANY MIGHT NOT BE

663
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,816
ABLE TO PUT UP MUCH OF A FIGHT.

664
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:32,450
CHINESE LAW SAYS THAT IF THE

665
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:32,984
CHINESE GOVERNMENT ASKS A

666
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:37,088
COMPANY TO COOPERATE, IT HAS NO

667
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,523
CHOICE, NO APPEAL, NO GOING TO

668
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:39,524
COURT, NO LAYING ACROSS THE

669
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,159
RAILROAD TRACKS.

670
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,527
AND SO, BYTEDANCE, THEY COULD BE

671
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,162
PERFECTLY INNOCENT TODAY.

672
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,064
AND IF XI JINPING WAKES UP IN A

673
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,065
BAD MOOD TOMORROW, THEY COULD BE

674
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:51,336
DOING SOMETHING BAD.

675
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:52,136
YEAH, AGAIN, THAT

676
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:52,437
SOUNDS BAD!

677
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:53,004
MAJOR DECISIONS THAT AFFECT

678
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,005
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE COULD HINGE

679
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:54,639
ON WHETHER OR NOT THE LEADER OF

680
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,206
A COUNTRY WAKES UP IN A BAD

681
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:55,807
MOOD.

682
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,475
IT'S THE KIND OF UNPREDICTABLE,

683
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,776
EMOTIONALLY VOLATILE LEADERSHIP

684
00:17:58,777 --> 00:17:59,510
YOU GET IN CHINA AND LUCKILY,

685
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:03,648
NOWHERE ELSE.

686
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,016
AND WHILE THAT SOUNDS

687
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,485
FRIGHTENING, IT'S IMPORTANT TO

688
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:08,653
NOTE THERE'S ALSO A LOT OF IF

689
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:09,153
IN HOW THIS TENDS TO GET

690
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:10,488
DISCUSSED.

691
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:11,689
TIKTOK INSISTS IT HASN'T, AND

692
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,825
WOULDN'T, GIVE DATA TO CHINA.

693
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:14,792
BUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU BELIEVE

694
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,527
THEM, THERE IS STILL NO PUBLIC

695
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:18,096
EVIDENCE THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT

696
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,130
HAS ACTUALLY SPIED ON PEOPLE

697
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:20,665
THROUGH TIKTOK.

698
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,467
WHAT'S MORE, WHILE IT DOES

699
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,002
COLLECT A LOT OF DATA ON ITS

700
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,870
USERS, AS WE DISCUSSED IN OUR

701
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,405
DATA BROKERS STORY, LOTS OF

702
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,639
OTHER APPS DO THE EXACT SAME

703
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,974
THING.

704
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,309
IN FACT, WHEN THE WASHINGTON

705
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,243
POST WORKED WITH A PRIVACY

706
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:33,511
RESEARCHER TO LOOK UNDER THE

707
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,746
HOOD AT TIKTOK, THEY CONCLUDED

708
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:35,880
THAT IT DOESN'T APPEAR TO

709
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,315
COLLECT ANY MORE DATA THAN YOUR

710
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,583
TYPICAL MAINSTREAM SOCIAL

711
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:39,984
NETWORK.

712
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,519
FOR INSTANCE, WHILE TIKTOK IS

713
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,888
TRACKING USERS AROUND THE

714
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,223
INTERNET EVEN WHEN THEY AREN'T

715
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:48,726
USING THE APP, THE SAME TRACKING

716
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:49,460
TOOL IS USED BY META AND GOOGLE

717
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,429
ON A FAR LARGER SCALE.

718
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,997
AND EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO

719
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,766
TRACKING REPORTERS, TIKTOK'S NOT

720
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,501
AN OUTLIER, GIVEN AN UBER

721
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,169
EXECUTIVE ONCE USED AN INTERNAL

722
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,038
TOOL NAMED "GOD VIEW" TO TRACK

723
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,439
THE LOCATION OF A BUZZFEED NEWS

724
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,040
REPORTER WHO WAS COVERING THE

725
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,475
COMPANY.

726
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:05,410
AND AGAIN, I'M NOT GIVING TIKTOK

727
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,344
A PASS HERE.

728
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:07,879
I'M JUST POINTING OUT THAT ITS

729
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,547
BEHAVIOR IS PRETTY CONSISTENT

730
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:10,915
WITH SILICON VALLEY'S OWN VERY

731
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,885
SHITTY STANDARDS.

732
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:17,422
THINK OF TIKTOK AS A SOFT DRINK

733
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:17,889
COMPANY IN THE 1800s.

734
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,358
SURE, ITS PRODUCT IS MOSTLY

735
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,759
COCAINE, BUT HEY, SHOW ME A

736
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,295
CHILD'S BEVERAGE THAT ISN'T.

737
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:25,363
SO, THAT'S THE CASE AS IT

738
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:26,898
RELATES TO TIKTOK'S USAGE OF

739
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,633
DATA.

740
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,802
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CLAIM IT CAN

741
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,003
PUSH PROPAGANDA, OR BURY CONTENT

742
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,538
THAT MAKES CHINA LOOK BAD?

743
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:34,839
WELL, BYTEDANCE DOES DO THAT

744
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,973
WITHIN CHINA.

745
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:36,941
DOUYIN, THE VERSION OF TIKTOK

746
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:42,013
FOR THE CHINESE MARKET, HAS TO

747
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:42,780
PLAY BY CHINA'S RULES WHEN IT

748
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:43,381
COMES TO CENSORSHIP, AND "HAS

749
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:43,881
BANNED A BROAD RANGE OF

750
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,483
SUPPOSEDLY SUBVERSIVE TOPICS,

751
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:46,584
INCLUDING ANY CONTENT THAT

752
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:53,660
CAUSES "DISCOMFORT."

753
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:58,529
AND WHEN TIKTOK FIRST STARTED

754
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,964
GROWING INTERNATIONALLY,

755
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:00,398
IT DID SEEM TO BRING

756
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:00,965
SOME OF THAT ETHOS WITH IT.

757
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:01,599
IN 2019, LEAKED DOCUMENTS SHOWED

758
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,233
TIKTOK HAD INSTRUCTED MODERATORS

759
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:02,767
TO BAN CONTENT ON "HIGHLY

760
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:03,401
CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS"-- CITING

761
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:04,736
MENTIONS OF TIANANMEN SQUARE,

762
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,904
TIBETAN INDEPENDENCE, OR THE

763
00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:07,739
BANNED RELIGIOUS GROUP

764
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:08,239
FALUN GONG AS EXAMPLES.

765
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:08,773
AND IN 2020, THE INTERCEPT

766
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:09,707
REPORTED ITS MODERATORS WERE

767
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:10,942
ALSO TOLD TO CENSOR POLITICAL

768
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,076
SPEECH IN LIVESTREAMS, AS WELL

769
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:12,877
AS, FUN FACT, USERS DEEMED TOO

770
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:18,149
UGLY, POOR, OR DISABLED FOR THE

771
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:18,416
PLATFORM.

772
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:19,017
NOW, TIKTOK INSISTS THOSE WERE

773
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:19,650
OLD GUIDELINES NO LONGER IN USE,

774
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:20,651
AND THAT THEIR MODERATION

775
00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:21,152
PRACTICES ARE NOW MORE

776
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:27,925
TRANSPARENT.

777
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:28,493
BUT SOME RESEARCHERS BELIEVE

778
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:29,260
THERE'S STILL REASON TO WORRY.

779
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,061
ONE TEAM STUDYING TIKTOK CREATED

780
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,631
FAKE ACCOUNTS, REPRESENTING

781
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,432
AMERICAN TEENAGERS, AND THEY

782
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:35,066
WERE ALARMED AT WHAT THEY FOUND.

783
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,000
WHEN I GO TO YOUTUBE, YOU PUT

784
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,969
IN TIANANMEN AND THE FIRST THING

785
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:38,803
YOU HAVE ARE MAINSTREAM NEWS

786
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,471
DOCUMENTARIES.

787
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:42,573
BUT RESEARCHERS SAY MOST OF

788
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,942
THE CONTENT REGARDING TIANANMEN

789
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:45,810
THAT SHOWED UP ON TIKTOK WAS, IN

790
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,512
THEIR JUDGMENT, NOT RELEVANT OR

791
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,414
PRO-CHINA COMPARED TO WHAT

792
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:49,947
SHOWED UP ON INSTAGRAM AND

793
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:51,215
YOUTUBE.

794
00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:52,316
WHEN WE LOOKED AT MATERIAL

795
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,719
THAT'S SENSITIVE TO THE CHINESE

796
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,020
COMMUNIST PARTY, THESE MATERIALS

797
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,690
WERE SIGNIFICANTLY, INEXPLICABLY

798
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,824
UNDERREPRESENTED ON THE

799
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:04,162
PLATFORM.

800
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:04,762
RIGHT, THEY CONCLUDED

801
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:05,363
THAT VIDEOS UNDESIRABLE TO THE

802
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:05,897
CCP WERE UNDERREPRESENTED.

803
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:09,100
THOUGH, INTERESTINGLY, NOT

804
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:09,600
UNREPRESENTED.

805
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:10,735
TIKTOK SAYS THAT STUDY IS

806
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:11,936
FLAWED, AND WHILE I HATE TO

807
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:12,570
AGREE WITH THEM, THE METHODOLOGY

808
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:19,143
IS A BIT WEIRD.

809
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:19,911
BECAUSE THE RESEARCHERS SEARCHED

810
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:20,511
WORDS LIKE "XINJIANG," "TIBET"

811
00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:21,279
AND "TIANANMEN," CLICKED ON THE

812
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,680
FIRST RESULT, AND LET THE

813
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:23,281
ALGORITHM TAKE IT FROM THERE.

814
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,816
WHICH DOESN'T SEEM LIKE HOW

815
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:25,350
PEOPLE TEND TO SEARCH FOR

816
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:30,988
INFORMATION.

817
00:21:30,989 --> 00:21:32,523
IF YOU TYPE IN AMERICA AND

818
00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:34,359
SEARCH IT'S GOING TO A LOT.

819
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,326
AND HONESTLY, GIVEN HOW SPOOKILY

820
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:35,927
GOOD TIKTOK'S ALGORITHM IS AT

821
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:36,928
KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT,

822
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:37,829
IT MIGHT EVEN HAVE CONCLUDED,

823
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:38,663
"GOT IT, YOU'RE A BEARDED

824
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:39,864
RESEARCHER PRETENDING TO BE A 16

825
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,299
YEAR OLD LOOKING FOR EVIDENCE TO

826
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,066
SUPPORT YOUR CENSORSHIP

827
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:43,701
HYPOTHESIS.

828
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:46,471
HERE ARE THE RESULTS YOU WANT--

829
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:51,542
ALSO, FUN FACT, YOU'RE BI!"

830
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,211
ULTIMATELY, IT'S HARD TO KNOW

831
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:53,845
FOR SURE, BECAUSE THE ALGORITHM

832
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:57,915
IS PROPRIETARY, AND THE

833
00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:58,549
DECISIONS IT MAKES ABOUT CONTENT

834
00:21:58,550 --> 00:21:58,983
ARE LARGELY OPAQUE.

835
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:03,654
AND BANNING TIKTOK OUT OF FEAR

836
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:04,255
IT MAY BE A VESSEL FOR FOREIGN

837
00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:04,889
INFLUENCE IS A LITTLE WEIRD, FOR

838
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:05,223
A FEW REASONS.

839
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:05,757
FIRST, CHINA-- LIKE MANY

840
00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:12,363
COUNTRIES, INCLUDING THE U.S.--

841
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:12,997
HAS COVERT INFLUENCE OPERATIONS,

842
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,866
LIKE ACCOUNTS PUSHING

843
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:15,500
PROPAGANDA, RUNNING ON ALL SORTS

844
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:21,706
OF PLATFORMS.

845
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:22,340
AND RESEARCHERS SAY THEY HAVEN'T

846
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:23,007
SEEN A PARTICULAR FOCUS ON

847
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,375
TIKTOK THAT GOES BEYOND THE ONES

848
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:25,710
IT ALSO RUNS ON FACEBOOK,

849
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:26,210
INSTAGRAM, AND YOUTUBE.

850
00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:27,311
AND WHEN IT COMES TO CHINA

851
00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:28,112
DIRECTLY INFLUENCING TIKTOK

852
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:28,680
BEHIND THE SCENES, EVEN THE

853
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,181
GOVERNMENT'S OWN FILINGS SAY

854
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,983
POINT-BLANK THAT THEY HAVE NO

855
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:33,951
DIRECT EVIDENCE CHINA HAS USED

856
00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:35,820
TIKTOK FOR PROPAGANDA PURPOSES

857
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:40,091
IN THE U.S. BUT THERE IS

858
00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:40,692
SIGNIFICANT RISK THAT IT COULD

859
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:41,225
HAPPEN.

860
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:44,395
BUT AS LONG AS THIS ARGUMENT'S

861
00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:46,731
ABOUT WHAT COULD BE THE CASE,

862
00:22:46,732 --> 00:22:47,465
COULD

863
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:48,066
THERE BE ANY ULTERIOR MOTIVES

864
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:48,666
BEHIND THE U.S. GOVERNMENT'S

865
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:49,600
APPROACH?

866
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,369
BECAUSE ALONGSIDE THE CONCERN

867
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,770
ABOUT NATIONAL SECURITY, IT DOES

868
00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:54,505
FEEL LIKE THERE CAN BE AN

869
00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:56,574
UNDERCURRENT OF XENOPHOBIA.

870
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,076
HERE'S TOM COTTON INTERROGATING

871
00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,078
TIKTOK'S CEO.

872
00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:01,212
YOU SAID TODAY, AS YOU OFTEN

873
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,448
SAY, THAT YOU LIVE IN SINGAPORE.

874
00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:03,948
OF WHAT NATION ARE YOU A

875
00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:05,550
CITIZEN?

876
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,085
SINGAPORE.

877
00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:07,652
ARE YOU A CITIZEN OF ANY

878
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:08,753
OTHER NATION?

879
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:09,620
NO, SENATOR.

880
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:10,188
HAVE YOU EVER APPLIED FOR

881
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:12,023
CHINESE CITIZENSHIP?

882
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,091
SENATOR, I SERVED MY NATION

883
00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:13,958
IN SINGAPORE.

884
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,360
NO, I DID NOT.

885
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:16,694
DO YOU HAVE A SINGAPOREAN

886
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:17,395
PASSPORT?

887
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,796
YES, AND I SERVED MY MILITARY

888
00:23:18,797 --> 00:23:19,764
FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS IN

889
00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:20,431
SINGAPORE.

890
00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:21,966
DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER

891
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:22,467
PASSPORTS FROM ANY OTHER

892
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:23,101
NATIONS?

893
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,202
NO, SENATOR.

894
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:24,769
YOUR WIFE IS AN AMERICAN

895
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:25,169
CITIZEN.

896
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:25,703
YOUR CHILDREN ARE AMERICAN

897
00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:26,571
CITIZENS?

898
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:27,438
THAT'S CORRECT.

899
00:23:27,439 --> 00:23:28,006
HAVE YOU EVER APPLIED FOR

900
00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:30,274
AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP?

901
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:31,409
NO, NOT YET.

902
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:34,812
OKAY.

903
00:23:34,813 --> 00:23:35,847
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A MEMBER OF

904
00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,782
THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY?

905
00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:39,017
SENATOR, I'M SINGAPOREAN, NO.

906
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:40,084
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ASSOCIATED

907
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,152
OR AFFILIATED WITH THE CHINESE

908
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:41,853
COMMUNIST PARTY?

909
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:42,987
NO.

910
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:48,226
SENATOR, AGAIN, I'M SINGAPOREAN.

911
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,227
THAT IS SO BAD, I

912
00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:49,994
ALMOST WISH THAT LINE OF

913
00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:50,561
QUESTIONING HAD KEPT GOING.

914
00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:51,129
"OKAY, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHERE

915
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:51,562
CHINA IS ON A MAP?"

916
00:23:51,563 --> 00:23:53,631
"YES, I DO."

917
00:23:53,632 --> 00:23:54,832
"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE CHINA

918
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:55,233
IS?"

919
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:55,933
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

920
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,669
"I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, HOW DO YOU

921
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,203
KNOW WHERE CHINA IS?"

922
00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:00,405
"BECAUSE I CAN READ A MAP?"

923
00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:01,939
"AND HOW CAN YOU READ A MAP?"

924
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,041
"BECAUSE I LEARNED TO IN

925
00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:03,474
SCHOOL."

926
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:05,610
"AND WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL WOULD

927
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:06,911
TEACH A CHILD TO READ A MAP OF

928
00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:07,445
CHINA?"

929
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,546
"ANY SCHOOL."

930
00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,548
"NOT ANY OF OURS."

931
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:11,582
"WELL, THAT'S NOT GREAT, IS IT?"

932
00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:13,151
"SO YOU'RE INSULTING THE USA

933
00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:13,785
BECAUSE YOU'RE A SECRET CHINESE

934
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:14,886
CITIZEN?

935
00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:19,691
I REST MY CASE."

936
00:24:19,692 --> 00:24:20,892
AND LOOK, OBVIOUSLY TOM COTTON'S

937
00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,026
A PERSISTENT PIECE OF SHIT.

938
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:23,361
BUT IT'S HARD TO SHAKE THE

939
00:24:23,362 --> 00:24:24,729
FEELING THAT AT LEAST PART OF

940
00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:25,963
THE PANIC HERE STEMS FROM AN

941
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:26,831
UGLY PLACE.

942
00:24:26,832 --> 00:24:28,032
AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY POSSIBLE

943
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:29,667
MOTIVATOR.

944
00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:31,436
THERE'S ALSO THE FACT THERE ARE

945
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:32,070
PLENTY OF BIG U.S. TECH

946
00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:33,504
COMPANIES THAT WOULD VERY MUCH

947
00:24:33,505 --> 00:24:34,072
LIKE THEIR MARKET SHARE BACK

948
00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:36,574
FROM TIKTOK.

949
00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:37,308
META AND YOUTUBE NOW EACH HAVE

950
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,810
THEIR OWN TIKTOK KNOCKOFFS IN

951
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,545
THE FORMS OF REELS AND YOUTUBE

952
00:24:40,546 --> 00:24:42,880
SHORTS, AND META'S BEEN CAUGHT

953
00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,015
OPENLY SEEDING NEGATIVE STORIES

954
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:45,416
ABOUT TIKTOK, EVEN HIRING A

955
00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:46,651
MARKETING FIRM, WITH ONE

956
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:47,752
CAMPAIGN DIRECTOR SAYING IN AN

957
00:24:47,753 --> 00:24:49,987
EMAIL, "THE DREAM WOULD BE TO

958
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:54,125
GET STORIES WITH HEADLINES LIKE

959
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:55,793
FROM DANCES TO DANGER."

960
00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:56,694
WHICH, TO BE HONEST, SOUNDS LIKE

961
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:57,428
A NETFLIX TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY

962
00:24:57,429 --> 00:24:57,995
ABOUT A BALLET STUDIO THAT

963
00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:00,131
TURNED OUT TO BE A SEX CULT.

964
00:25:00,132 --> 00:25:01,599
AND MARK ZUCKERBERG, SEEN HERE

965
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,333
LOOKING LIKE THE CHEF FROM

966
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:04,569
RATATOUILLE TRYING TO PIVOT TO

967
00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:06,304
BITCOIN, PERSONALLY LOBBIED

968
00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:07,105
TRUMP ON THE RISK POSED BY HIS

969
00:25:07,106 --> 00:25:09,007
COMPETITION.

970
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:11,909
IN 2019, IN A PRIVATE DINNER AT

971
00:25:11,910 --> 00:25:12,477
THE WHITE HOUSE, HE MADE THE

972
00:25:12,478 --> 00:25:14,679
CASE THAT THE RISE OF CHINESE

973
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,481
INTERNET COMPANIES THREATENS

974
00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:17,281
AMERICAN BUSINESS, AND SHOULD BE

975
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:19,283
A BIGGER CONCERN THAN REINING IN

976
00:25:19,284 --> 00:25:20,718
FACEBOOK.

977
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:21,819
WHICH SEEMS A LITTLE SUSPECT TO

978
00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:23,888
ME.

979
00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:25,123
IF YOU GET CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING,

980
00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:27,091
THE BEST DEFENSE ISN'T USUALLY

981
00:25:27,092 --> 00:25:27,725
"HEY THAT GUY DID IT TOO-- AND

982
00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:32,530
HE'S CHINESE!"

983
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,097
AND HONESTLY, BANNING TIKTOK

984
00:25:33,098 --> 00:25:34,565
MIGHT BE THE ONLY THING THAT

985
00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:35,900
HELPS META HERE.

986
00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:37,168
BECAUSE AS SOME TIKTOK CREATORS

987
00:25:37,169 --> 00:25:39,671
WILL TELL YOU, THEY MUCH PREFER

988
00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:40,171
THE PLATFORM TO ITS U.S.

989
00:25:40,172 --> 00:25:41,539
COMPETITORS.

990
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:44,375
100% OF MY CUSTOMER BASE WERE

991
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:45,877
DERIVED DIRECTLY FROM TIKTOK.

992
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:46,411
FOR INSTANCE, THERE WAS A

993
00:25:46,412 --> 00:25:47,445
GENTLEMAN THAT SAW ONE OF MY

994
00:25:47,446 --> 00:25:49,080
TIKTOK VIDEOS JUST YESTERDAY,

995
00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:50,048
AND HE SAW A COUPLE OF COWS IN

996
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:50,982
THE BACKGROUND THAT HE REALLY,

997
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:51,416
REALLY LIKED.

998
00:25:51,417 --> 00:25:53,217
HE REACHED OUT TO ME AND HE

999
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:54,252
SAID, "ARE THOSE COWS FOR SALE

1000
00:25:54,253 --> 00:25:55,486
BY CHANCE?

1001
00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:58,022
HE DID NOT SEE THOSE CATTLE ON

1002
00:25:58,023 --> 00:25:59,323
FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM.

1003
00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:00,625
LET'S FACE IT, FACEBOOK IS

1004
00:26:00,626 --> 00:26:01,492
ARCHAIC, IT'S DEAD.

1005
00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:02,427
INSTAGRAM'S PRIME WAS MORE THAN

1006
00:26:02,428 --> 00:26:03,628
SEVEN YEARS AGO.

1007
00:26:03,629 --> 00:26:06,130
IT'S-- THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE

1008
00:26:06,131 --> 00:26:07,098
PLATFORM IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW,

1009
00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:08,566
AND THIS IS WHERE A NUMBER OF

1010
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:09,867
OUR CUSTOMERS ARE COMING FROM.

1011
00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:11,035
WOW.

1012
00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:12,804
THERE IS NO WAY TO UNDERSELL HOW

1013
00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:18,209
COMPLETELY COOKED YOU ARE AS A

1014
00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:18,810
TECH COMPANY WHEN THAT GUY IS

1015
00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:19,410
TELLING YOU YOU'RE BEHIND THE

1016
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:20,645
TIMES.

1017
00:26:20,646 --> 00:26:22,113
HE LOOKS LIKE HIS NUMBER ONE

1018
00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:23,881
CONCERN IS "RUSTLERS," AND

1019
00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:25,216
CONCERNS TWO THROUGH SEVEN ARE

1020
00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:27,218
ALL STAMPEDE-RELATED, SO IF HE'S

1021
00:26:27,219 --> 00:26:28,720
EXPLAINING WHY YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA

1022
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:29,921
PLATFORM IS SUBSTANDARD?

1023
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,189
YOU'RE DONE.

1024
00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:33,391
GOODBYE.

1025
00:26:33,392 --> 00:26:35,360
SO VERY BASICALLY, THAT'S THE

1026
00:26:35,361 --> 00:26:36,594
CASE, PRO AND CON, FOR THIS

1027
00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,096
POTENTIAL TIKTOK BAN.

1028
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,864
OR, AT LEAST, THE PUBLIC CASE.

1029
00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,699
BECAUSE THERE'S ONE MORE ELEMENT

1030
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:42,767
TO THE GOVERNMENT'S ARGUMENT I

1031
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:43,801
HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT YET, BUT

1032
00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:46,270
ONLY BECAUSE IT'S BASICALLY

1033
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,405
IMPOSSIBLE TO DO THAT, AS THEY

1034
00:26:47,406 --> 00:26:48,439
WON'T TELL US WHAT IT IS.

1035
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,608
THERE'S A LINE THAT KEEPS COMING

1036
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:53,077
UP WITH LAWMAKERS WHENEVER

1037
00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:54,379
THEY'RE ADVOCATING FOR THE BAN.

1038
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:55,413
IS THERE CONCRETE EVIDENCE

1039
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,348
THAT-- THAT WE CAN POINT TO

1040
00:26:57,349 --> 00:26:58,649
THAT SAYS THAT NEFARIOUS

1041
00:26:58,650 --> 00:26:59,350
ACTIVITY IS GOING ON?

1042
00:26:59,351 --> 00:27:00,618
YES.

1043
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:01,719
A LOT OF IT IS CLASSIFIED.

1044
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,054
TIKTOK IS CERTAINLY A

1045
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:04,355
NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT.

1046
00:27:04,356 --> 00:27:05,323
WE'VE SEEN EVIDENCE IN A

1047
00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:07,091
CLASSIFIED SETTING.

1048
00:27:07,092 --> 00:27:08,393
MANY AMERICAN, PARTICULARLY

1049
00:27:08,394 --> 00:27:09,027
YOUNG AMERICANS, ARE RIGHTFULLY

1050
00:27:09,028 --> 00:27:10,428
SKEPTICAL.

1051
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:12,397
AT THE END OF THE DAY, THEY'VE

1052
00:27:12,398 --> 00:27:14,232
NOT SEEN WHAT CONGRESS HAS SEEN.

1053
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:15,400
THEY'VE NOT BEEN IN THE

1054
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:15,933
CLASSIFIED BRIEFINGS THAT

1055
00:27:15,934 --> 00:27:17,168
CONGRESS HAS HELD.

1056
00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:18,703
AND HERE'S THE THING:

1057
00:27:18,704 --> 00:27:20,338
RIGHT!

1058
00:27:20,339 --> 00:27:22,874
WE HAVEN'T SEEN IT!

1059
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,777
SO MAYBE YOU NEED TO SHOW US!

1060
00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:26,744
BECAUSE SAYING "TRUST US, IT'S

1061
00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:27,812
SUPER SCARY" ONLY REALLY WORKS

1062
00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:32,850
WHEN THE PERSON SAYING IT IS

1063
00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:33,851
SOMEONE YOU FUNDAMENTALLY TRUST

1064
00:27:33,852 --> 00:27:34,285
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

1065
00:27:34,286 --> 00:27:34,886
TIKTOK IS CURRENTLY SUING THE

1066
00:27:34,887 --> 00:27:35,687
GOVERNMENT OVER THE IMPENDING

1067
00:27:35,688 --> 00:27:36,454
BAN, AND IN ITS FILINGS, THE

1068
00:27:36,455 --> 00:27:37,955
GOVERNMENT'S REDACTED

1069
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:39,557
SIGNIFICANT PORTIONS OF THE

1070
00:27:39,558 --> 00:27:40,358
EVIDENCE IT SAYS IT HAS, WITH

1071
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:41,859
SOME PARTS OF ITS AFFIDAVITS

1072
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:43,895
LOOKING LIKE THIS.

1073
00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:45,329
AND INCREDIBLY, EVEN BYTEDANCE

1074
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:47,532
AND TIKTOK DON'T KNOW WHAT'S

1075
00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:48,633
BEHIND THOSE BLACK BARS, BECAUSE

1076
00:27:48,634 --> 00:27:49,834
THE GOVERNMENT'S NOT REVEALING

1077
00:27:49,835 --> 00:27:52,070
ITS EVIDENCE TO THEM, EITHER.

1078
00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:53,071
WHICH FEELS WRONG.

1079
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,606
BECAUSE USUALLY, SHOWING YOUR

1080
00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:57,475
EVIDENCE IS A FUNDAMENTAL TENET

1081
00:27:57,476 --> 00:27:58,476
OF AMERICAN JUSTICE.

1082
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:00,978
IT'S UP THERE WITH A RIGHT TO

1083
00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:05,350
PLEAD YOUR CASE, AND TO BE TRIED

1084
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:05,917
BY 12 HALF-ASLEEP STRANGERS

1085
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:06,551
WHO'D RATHER BE ANYWHERE ELSE IN

1086
00:28:06,552 --> 00:28:07,652
THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.

1087
00:28:07,653 --> 00:28:08,920
AND THE CONDESCENSION OF "JUST

1088
00:28:08,921 --> 00:28:10,722
TRUST US" CAN GET REALLY

1089
00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:12,023
FRUSTRATING, ESPECIALLY WHEN

1090
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,958
IT'S EXPRESSED LIKE THIS.

1091
00:28:13,959 --> 00:28:15,426
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO

1092
00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:17,295
RECOGNIZE WE'RE ACTUALLY DOING

1093
00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,464
THIS TO PROTECT THE PRIVACY OF

1094
00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:20,565
AMERICANS.

1095
00:28:20,566 --> 00:28:22,500
PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY'RE TAKING

1096
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,068
THEIR RIGHTS AWAY, BUT IT'S

1097
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:24,602
ACTUALLY PROTECTING THEIR

1098
00:28:24,603 --> 00:28:26,170
PRIVACY.

1099
00:28:26,171 --> 00:28:28,006
BUT IS IT, THOUGH?

1100
00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:29,140
BECAUSE IN A WORLD WHERE

1101
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:31,609
INSTAGRAM KNOWS YOUR LOCATION,

1102
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:32,844
UBER KNOWS YOUR CHILDHOOD FEARS,

1103
00:28:32,845 --> 00:28:34,679
AND DOORDASH HAS A DETAILED 3D

1104
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,014
RENDERING OF YOUR SMALL

1105
00:28:36,015 --> 00:28:39,017
INTESTINE ITS EXECUTIVES USE AS

1106
00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:39,617
A SCREENSAVER, CLAIMING YOU'RE

1107
00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:41,219
PROTECTING AMERICANS' PRIVACY BY

1108
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,388
BANNING TIKTOK FEELS LIKE

1109
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:48,960
CLAIMING YOU'RE FIGHTING CLIMATE

1110
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:49,894
CHANGE BY BANNING THE

1111
00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:50,194
KIA SORENTO.

1112
00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:50,728
SURE, IT'S TECHNICALLY NOT

1113
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:56,334
NOTHING, BUT IT IS, IN A LARGER

1114
00:28:56,335 --> 00:28:56,868
SENSE, BASICALLY NOTHING.

1115
00:28:56,869 --> 00:28:57,502
ONE OF THE REASONS THIS STORY'S

1116
00:28:57,503 --> 00:28:58,136
DIFFICULT TO NAVIGATE IS THERE'S

1117
00:28:58,137 --> 00:28:58,803
SO MUCH WE DON'T KNOW, AND

1118
00:28:58,804 --> 00:28:59,404
COMING FROM TWO SIDES I DON'T

1119
00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:00,805
REMOTELY TRUST.

1120
00:29:00,806 --> 00:29:06,377
BECAUSE YOU'RE EITHER TAKING THE

1121
00:29:06,378 --> 00:29:07,345
WORD OF A MULTINATIONAL TECH

1122
00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:09,280
COMPANY THAT PROFITS OFF YOUR

1123
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:10,214
DATA, OR THE U.S. GOVERNMENT,

1124
00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:10,982
WHICH SEEMS HAPPY TO TURN A

1125
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:11,783
BLIND EYE WHENEVER AMERICAN

1126
00:29:11,784 --> 00:29:12,784
COMPANIES DO THE SAME THING.

1127
00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:13,618
AND WHO KNOWS WHERE THINGS COULD

1128
00:29:13,619 --> 00:29:14,986
GO FROM HERE?

1129
00:29:14,987 --> 00:29:15,953
TIKTOK'S LAWSUIT MAY END UP

1130
00:29:15,954 --> 00:29:17,588
BEFORE THE SUPREME COURT--

1131
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:18,856
MEANING THAT JANUARY 19 DEADLINE

1132
00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:20,324
WILL LIKELY GET EXTENDED INTO

1133
00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:21,759
THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY.

1134
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,161
AND REMEMBER, HE'S THE ONE WHO

1135
00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:23,728
TRIED BANNING TIKTOK IN THE

1136
00:29:23,729 --> 00:29:25,296
FIRST PLACE.

1137
00:29:25,297 --> 00:29:30,435
THOUGH HE'S NOW DONE A COMPLETE

1138
00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:31,302
180 ON THAT, RELEASING THIS

1139
00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:31,836
VIDEO DURING THE CAMPAIGN.

1140
00:29:31,837 --> 00:29:32,804
FOR ALL OF THOSE THAT WANT TO

1141
00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:33,438
SAVE TIKTOK IN AMERICA, VOTE FOR

1142
00:29:33,439 --> 00:29:35,173
TRUMP.

1143
00:29:35,174 --> 00:29:37,542
THE OTHER SIDE'S CLOSING IT UP.

1144
00:29:37,543 --> 00:29:38,076
BUT I'M NOW A BIG STAR ON

1145
00:29:38,077 --> 00:29:41,412
TIKTOK.

1146
00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:43,581
SO, IF YOU LIKE TIKTOK, GO OUT

1147
00:29:43,582 --> 00:29:48,753
AND VOTE FOR TRUMP.

1148
00:29:48,754 --> 00:29:49,454
I MEAN IT'S PERFECT.

1149
00:29:49,455 --> 00:29:50,054
AS ALWAYS, IT'S GENUINELY HARD

1150
00:29:50,055 --> 00:29:50,655
TO FOCUS ON THE MESSAGE THERE,

1151
00:29:50,656 --> 00:29:54,959
BECAUSE OF THE WEIRD ENERGY.

1152
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,227
HIS DELIVERY IS GIVING, "OKAY,

1153
00:29:56,228 --> 00:29:56,861
NOW HOW ABOUT A SILLY ONE" MIXED

1154
00:29:56,862 --> 00:29:58,096
WITH THE SPONTANEOUS DELAYED

1155
00:29:58,097 --> 00:29:58,663
RELEASE OF 60 YEARS OF DIET

1156
00:29:58,664 --> 00:30:05,739
PILLS.

1157
00:30:07,907 --> 00:30:08,406
SO APPARENTLY TRUMP WANTS TO

1158
00:30:08,407 --> 00:30:08,973
"SAVE TIKTOK" NOW, HE CAN'T

1159
00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:09,607
UNILATERALLY OVERTURN THIS LAW.

1160
00:30:09,608 --> 00:30:10,208
HE'D PRESUMABLY HAVE TO FORCE

1161
00:30:10,209 --> 00:30:16,280
CONGRESS TO RESCIND IT.

1162
00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:18,383
ALTHOUGH HE CAN'T CHANGE HIS

1163
00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:19,384
MIND AGAIN HE CAN DO THAT.

1164
00:30:19,385 --> 00:30:19,951
SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US?

1165
00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:20,385
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

1166
00:30:20,386 --> 00:30:21,019
WE TALKED TO A LOT OF EXPERTS ON

1167
00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:21,519
BOTH SIDES OF THIS BAN.

1168
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:22,787
NATIONAL SECURITY TYPES TEND TO

1169
00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:23,421
BE IN THE "WHY RISK IT, JUST BAN

1170
00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:25,390
IT" CAMP.

1171
00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:25,990
WHILE THOSE IN THE TECH POLICY

1172
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:33,066
SPACE ARE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT

1173
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,198
BENEFITS OF THAT IMPACT THE

1174
00:30:34,199 --> 00:30:34,632
FREE-SPEECH IMPACTS.

1175
00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:35,199
AND I'M SLIGHTLY TORN.

1176
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,100
THIS SHOW HAS AN ACCOUNT ON

1177
00:30:36,101 --> 00:30:37,001
TIKTOK.

1178
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,170
I PERSONALLY DON'T HAVE IT ON MY

1179
00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,238
PHONE, PARTLY BECAUSE I DON'T

1180
00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:40,805
TRUST IT, MOSTLY BECAUSE I'M

1181
00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:43,975
VERY OLD.

1182
00:30:43,976 --> 00:30:45,410
BUT IF THERE'S ONE THING MANY

1183
00:30:45,411 --> 00:30:46,878
EXPERTS DO AGREE ON, IT'S THAT

1184
00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:49,814
THE RISKS TO AMERICANS' DATA

1185
00:30:49,815 --> 00:30:50,448
ONLINE IN NO WAY END WITH CHINA

1186
00:30:50,449 --> 00:30:52,550
OR TIKTOK.

1187
00:30:52,551 --> 00:30:53,484
AS ONE PUTS IT, "TIKTOK

1188
00:30:53,485 --> 00:30:56,220
REPRESENTS MAYBE 2% OF THE

1189
00:30:56,221 --> 00:30:56,921
PROBLEM WHEN IT COMES TO

1190
00:30:56,922 --> 00:30:57,755
AMERICANS' PRIVACY"-- ADDING

1191
00:30:57,756 --> 00:30:58,956
THAT WITHOUT ADEQUATE PRIVACY

1192
00:30:58,957 --> 00:31:00,692
LAW, "THERE ARE MILLIONS OF APPS

1193
00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:02,260
THAT ARE COLLECTING AND ABUSING

1194
00:31:02,261 --> 00:31:02,827
AMERICANS' DATA."

1195
00:31:02,828 --> 00:31:04,429
AND FRUSTRATINGLY, THERE'S JUST

1196
00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:07,398
NO GOOD REASON WHY WE DON'T HAVE

1197
00:31:07,399 --> 00:31:07,832
BETTER PROTECTIONS.

1198
00:31:07,833 --> 00:31:09,734
THE U.S. IS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN

1199
00:31:09,735 --> 00:31:16,810
THE G20 THAT DOESN'T HAVE SOME

1200
00:31:17,777 --> 00:31:20,945
KIND OF COMPREHENSIVE PRIVACY

1201
00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:21,746
LAW PROTECTING USER DATA.

1202
00:31:21,747 --> 00:31:22,347
WE'VE BEEN BEHIND THE REST OF

1203
00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:22,947
THE WORLD ON THIS ISSUE FOR AN

1204
00:31:22,948 --> 00:31:23,481
EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME.

1205
00:31:23,482 --> 00:31:24,115
THERE WAS ACTUALLY AN EFFORT TO

1206
00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:24,682
SHORE THINGS UP EARLIER THIS

1207
00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:25,350
YEAR, CALLED THE AMERICAN

1208
00:31:25,351 --> 00:31:26,584
PRIVACY RIGHTS ACT, WHICH

1209
00:31:26,585 --> 00:31:27,452
CONTAINED ROBUST DATA

1210
00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:28,353
PROTECTIONS, LIKE THE

1211
00:31:28,354 --> 00:31:29,854
REQUIREMENT THAT COMPANIES

1212
00:31:29,855 --> 00:31:31,422
MINIMIZE THE AMOUNT OF DATA THEY

1213
00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:32,590
COLLECT, SO THE ONUS IS ON THEM

1214
00:31:32,591 --> 00:31:34,425
TO COLLECT LESS, AND NOT ON US

1215
00:31:34,426 --> 00:31:35,059
HAVING TO PLAY CONSTANT DEFENSE

1216
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,561
WITH A MILLION DIFFERENT

1217
00:31:36,562 --> 00:31:37,695
OPT-OUTS.

1218
00:31:37,696 --> 00:31:39,430
UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS STRIPPED

1219
00:31:39,431 --> 00:31:40,531
OF SOME OF ITS MOST CRUCIAL

1220
00:31:40,532 --> 00:31:41,065
PARTS AND SUPPORT FOR IT

1221
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:42,100
EVENTUALLY EVAPORATED.

1222
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:43,901
BUT WE BADLY NEED SOMETHING LIKE

1223
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,803
IT, JUST FOR A BASELINE LEVEL OF

1224
00:31:45,804 --> 00:31:49,040
PROTECTION.

1225
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:50,241
WHAT I'M SAYING IS, THIS TIKTOK

1226
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,110
BAN ULTIMATELY MAY NOT EVEN BE

1227
00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:54,445
NECESSARY, BUT DEFINITELY ISN'T

1228
00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:55,847
SUFFICIENT.

1229
00:31:55,848 --> 00:31:58,282
OR TO SUMMARIZE ALL THIS THE

1230
00:31:58,283 --> 00:31:59,884
ONLY WAY ANYONE ON TIKTOK CAN

1231
00:31:59,885 --> 00:32:00,518
SEEM TO INTERNALIZE-- THAT IS,

1232
00:32:00,519 --> 00:32:02,353
WHILE WATCHING SOMEONE MAKE

1233
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:03,955
IF

1234
00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:11,031
WE REALLY WANT TO INCREASE DATA

1235
00:32:11,664 --> 00:32:13,498
BETTER PROTECT AMERICANS AND

1236
00:32:13,499 --> 00:32:16,300
THEIR DATA, THAT'S A PENIS.

1237
00:32:16,301 --> 00:32:17,201
THAT'S A CHOCOLATE PENIS WITH

1238
00:32:17,202 --> 00:32:17,602
RIDGES AROUND IT.

1239
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,337
IT'S A SCREW.

1240
00:32:19,338 --> 00:32:21,773
OR, YOU KNOW WHAT?

1241
00:32:21,774 --> 00:32:22,206
IT'S A ROBOT PENIS.

1242
00:32:22,207 --> 00:32:25,243
IT'S A CHOCOLATE ROBOT PENIS.

1243
00:32:25,244 --> 00:32:25,710
YOU KNOW WHAT?

1244
00:32:25,711 --> 00:32:26,411
HIT IT!

1245
00:32:26,412 --> 00:32:28,379
AND NOW, THIS.

1246
00:32:28,380 --> 00:32:33,751
AND NOW,

1247
00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:36,821
JESSE WATTERS IS NOT INVITED TO

1248
00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:38,456
THANKSGIVING.

1249
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:40,024
DENVER, MINNEAPOLIS, MAY BE

1250
00:32:40,025 --> 00:32:40,892
GALBRAITH HALSEY SHOULD HAVE

1251
00:32:40,893 --> 00:32:45,196
THANKSGIVING WITH YOUR FAMILY.

1252
00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:47,131
I'M NOT HAVING DINNER WITH MY

1253
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:48,566
MOM AND MY DAD THIS

1254
00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:48,900
THANKSGIVING.

1255
00:32:48,901 --> 00:32:52,003
I'VE NOT BEEN INVITED.

1256
00:32:52,004 --> 00:32:53,638
PEOPLE ARE TAKING SPACE IN THE

1257
00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:54,038
WATER'S HOUSEHOLD.

1258
00:32:54,039 --> 00:32:55,506
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I WAS NOT

1259
00:32:55,507 --> 00:32:57,642
INVITED TO MY MOTHER'S HOUSE FOR

1260
00:32:57,643 --> 00:32:58,643
THANKSGIVING.

1261
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,678
APPARENTLY THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH

1262
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:01,446
ROOM.

1263
00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,281
SHE SAID IT'S A SCHEDULING

1264
00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:03,848
SITUATION.

1265
00:33:03,849 --> 00:33:05,016
LAST THANKSGIVING I CLEAR THE

1266
00:33:05,017 --> 00:33:09,987
WHOLE TABLE OUT, I DON'T KNOW IF

1267
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:11,689
YOU KNOW MY WHOLE FAMILY'S

1268
00:33:11,690 --> 00:33:11,956
DEMOCRATS.

1269
00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:14,058
I HAD MY WINE AND NOBODY WANTED

1270
00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:15,593
ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

1271
00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:17,028
I THOUGHT IT IRRITATING ON

1272
00:33:17,029 --> 00:33:17,995
THANKSGIVING WHEN MY MOTHER

1273
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,864
STARTS YELLING AT ME ABOUT

1274
00:33:19,865 --> 00:33:20,398
POLITICS.

1275
00:33:20,399 --> 00:33:22,667
LISTEN, MY MOTHER IS A CRAZY

1276
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,235
RADICAL LIBERAL, TRUST ME,

1277
00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:27,705
THANKSGIVING IS A NIGHTMARE.

1278
00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:30,708
JESSE, YOU LOVE SPENDING TIME

1279
00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:32,343
WITH FAMILY.

1280
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,645
YEAH, WILL THEY DON'T LOVE

1281
00:33:34,646 --> 00:33:36,848
SPENDING TIME WITH ME.

1282
00:33:36,849 --> 00:33:38,116
SHOULD HAVE FITS OF ROAD RAGE

1283
00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:40,284
AND DRIVE IN THEIR FEBRUARY BUT

1284
00:33:40,285 --> 00:33:40,918
I SURVIVED.

1285
00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:42,186
TO SOME OF THE THANKSGIVINGS

1286
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:47,458
WERE AWKWARD BUT HERE I AM ON

1287
00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:48,459
"THE FIVE" AND "JESSE WATTER

1288
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:49,093
PRIMETIME" AND I THINK I TURNED

1289
00:33:49,094 --> 00:33:52,930
OUT ALL RIGHT.

1290
00:33:52,931 --> 00:33:53,564
NO YOU DIDN'T.

1291
00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:53,831
MOVING ON.

1292
00:33:53,832 --> 00:33:54,399
THIS IS OUR LAST SHOW OF THE

1293
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:54,932
SEASON.

1294
00:33:54,933 --> 00:33:55,266
AND HONESTLY?

1295
00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:56,067
IT'S BEEN A WEIRD ONE.

1296
00:33:56,068 --> 00:33:57,335
WE STARTED BY OFFERING CLARENCE

1297
00:33:57,336 --> 00:33:57,969
THOMAS A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR

1298
00:33:57,970 --> 00:33:58,569
AND AN RV IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS

1299
00:33:58,570 --> 00:33:59,203
RESIGNATION, WHICH HE RUDELY DID

1300
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:06,279
NOT TAKE.

1301
00:34:07,247 --> 00:34:07,712
AND SINCE THEN, THINGS GOT

1302
00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:08,346
PRETTY WEIRD HERE IN THE STUDIO.

1303
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:08,980
I GOT LOST IN SOME CORN, WE HAD

1304
00:34:08,981 --> 00:34:10,081
AN INDOOR RAIN STORM, I GOT

1305
00:34:10,082 --> 00:34:11,549
SWARMED BY THESE FURRY FREAKS

1306
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:12,684
FROM "CATS," AND SHUTTLED

1307
00:34:12,685 --> 00:34:14,218
OFFSTAGE BY WHAT APPEARS TO BE A

1308
00:34:14,219 --> 00:34:16,020
FLOCK OF BIG, SPOOKY RAVIOLIS,

1309
00:34:16,021 --> 00:34:16,587
WHICH I'M SURE MADE SENSE IN

1310
00:34:16,588 --> 00:34:17,755
CONTEXT.

1311
00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:19,223
WE ALSO TRACKED DOWN A PROLIFIC

1312
00:34:19,224 --> 00:34:20,992
STOCK PHOTO MODEL FROM

1313
00:34:20,993 --> 00:34:22,160
AZERBAIJAN AND FLEW HIM HERE TO

1314
00:34:22,161 --> 00:34:23,294
TAKE SOME MORE.

1315
00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:24,629
WE GOT WILL FERRELL TO SING A

1316
00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:26,097
NEW PATRIOTIC SONG TO REPLACE

1317
00:34:26,098 --> 00:34:27,231
"GOD BLESS THE USA" AT

1318
00:34:27,232 --> 00:34:28,800
CITIZENSHIP CEREMONIES.

1319
00:34:28,801 --> 00:34:30,468
AND WE BOUGHT THE CONTENTS OF A

1320
00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:31,803
SHUTTERED RED LOBSTER, AND THEN,

1321
00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:33,104
FOR REASONS I DON'T HAVE TIME TO

1322
00:34:33,105 --> 00:34:35,273
GET INTO, SENT SOME KITCHEN

1323
00:34:35,274 --> 00:34:36,541
EQUIPMENT TO A NEW YORK BAKERY

1324
00:34:36,542 --> 00:34:38,443
AFTER BULLYING THEM INTO MAKING

1325
00:34:38,444 --> 00:34:40,378
JOHN OLIVER CAKE BEARS WITH A

1326
00:34:40,379 --> 00:34:41,546
SUMPTUOUS DONK, WHICH THEY "VERY

1327
00:34:41,547 --> 00:34:44,382
MUCH" DID, AS WELL AS MAKING US

1328
00:34:44,383 --> 00:34:45,683
THIS SPECTACULAR BEAR LIKENESS

1329
00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:47,318
OF ME, WHICH I THEN ATE

1330
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:49,153
ASS-FIRST, PROVING ONCE AGAIN

1331
00:34:49,154 --> 00:34:49,954
THAT I'M NOT NEW TO THIS.

1332
00:34:49,955 --> 00:34:51,155
I'M TRUE TO THIS.

1333
00:34:51,156 --> 00:34:53,257
YA BOY IS AN EATER FOR REAL.

1334
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:55,560
AND MUCH OF THAT HELPED DISTRACT

1335
00:34:55,561 --> 00:34:57,628
FROM THE GENUINELY BAD YEAR THAT

1336
00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:58,863
WAS 2024.

1337
00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:00,832
SO BAD, WE WERE FORCED TO SPEND

1338
00:35:00,833 --> 00:35:02,533
EIGHT DIFFERENT MAIN STORIES

1339
00:35:02,534 --> 00:35:03,768
COVERING ISSUES SURROUNDING THE

1340
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,903
ELECTION, FORGOING MUCH MORE

1341
00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:07,105
INTERESTING ONES WE WANTED TO

1342
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:08,773
LIEV SCHREIBER JUST

1343
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,742
DROPPED AN ENORMOUS JAR OF VODKA

1344
00:35:10,743 --> 00:35:11,342
SAUCE IN THE WHOLE FOODS SELF

1345
00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:14,345
CHECKOUT.

1346
00:35:14,346 --> 00:35:15,113
SAUCE EVERYWHERE.

1347
00:35:15,114 --> 00:35:16,614
WE HAD 23 MINUTES ON THAT

1348
00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:18,182
PLANNED, BUT HAD TO SCRAP IT FOR

1349
00:35:18,183 --> 00:35:19,684
AN EPISODE ON ALL THE WAYS TRUMP

1350
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:20,318
WOULD FIGHT THE ELECTION RESULTS

1351
00:35:20,319 --> 00:35:21,619
IF HE LOST.

1352
00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:23,988
WHICH, OF COURSE, HE DID NOT.

1353
00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:25,823
SO TONIGHT, BEFORE WE LEAVE, I'D

1354
00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:26,724
ACTUALLY LIKE TO TRY AND LOOK

1355
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:28,393
FORWARD.

1356
00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:29,794
THE END OF THE YEAR ALWAYS HAS

1357
00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:31,362
ME THINKING ABOUT THE NEXT ONE

1358
00:35:31,363 --> 00:35:32,163
AND WHAT I HOPE 2025 WILL LOOK

1359
00:35:32,164 --> 00:35:35,133
LIKE.

1360
00:35:35,134 --> 00:35:36,367
IN 2025, I'D LIKE ELON MUSK TO

1361
00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:36,934
JUMP SO HIGH, HE NEVER COMES

1362
00:35:36,935 --> 00:35:40,405
BACK DOWN.

1363
00:35:40,406 --> 00:35:41,673
I'D LIKE TO GO JUST ONE DAY

1364
00:35:41,674 --> 00:35:42,907
WITHOUT HEARING ABOUT THE WICKED

1365
00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:47,445
MOVIE.

1366
00:35:47,446 --> 00:35:50,615
AND IN 2025, I'D LIKE THE FINAL

1367
00:35:50,616 --> 00:35:51,249
"MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" FILM TO END

1368
00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:52,717
WITH TOM CRUISE TAKING OFF HIS

1369
00:35:52,718 --> 00:35:53,918
FACE MASK TO REVEAL

1370
00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:54,318
SHELLY MISCAVIAGE.

1371
00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:55,753
AND I KNOW NONE OF THAT'S LIKELY

1372
00:35:55,754 --> 00:35:59,557
TO HAPPEN.

1373
00:35:59,558 --> 00:36:00,191
AND THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO

1374
00:36:00,192 --> 00:36:00,758
COVER A LOT OF TERRIBLE SHIT

1375
00:36:00,759 --> 00:36:01,025
NEXT YEAR.

1376
00:36:01,026 --> 00:36:01,959
BUT IF THERE'S ONE THING I

1377
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,227
REALLY DO HOPE FOR, IT'S THAT WE

1378
00:36:03,228 --> 00:36:03,795
STILL GET TO TALK ABOUT SOME

1379
00:36:03,796 --> 00:36:05,963
RIDICULOUS STUFF.

1380
00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:07,765
SO MY PLEA TO THE REST OF WORLD

1381
00:36:07,766 --> 00:36:10,234
IS TO PLEASE KEEP BEING WEIRD IN

1382
00:36:10,235 --> 00:36:12,170
FUN WAYS.

1383
00:36:12,171 --> 00:36:14,105
KEEP MAKING TERRIBLE STATUES,

1384
00:36:14,106 --> 00:36:15,807
HOLDING WEIRD CONTESTS, AND

1385
00:36:15,808 --> 00:36:17,709
AUCTIONING OFF BIZARRE ITEMS.

1386
00:36:17,710 --> 00:36:20,044
AND IF I CAN TALK TO NEW ZEALAND

1387
00:36:20,045 --> 00:36:21,079
SPECIFICALLY-- PLEASE KEEP

1388
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:22,980
DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

1389
00:36:22,981 --> 00:36:23,815
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU TO BE

1390
00:36:23,816 --> 00:36:24,716
WEIRD.

1391
00:36:24,717 --> 00:36:26,684
JUST BE YOURSELVES, AND WE'LL

1392
00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:29,454
FIND SOMETHING WE CAN WORK WITH.

1393
00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:30,722
LOOK, THE NEXT FOUR YEARS ARE

1394
00:36:30,723 --> 00:36:32,590
GOING TO BE EXHAUSTING.

1395
00:36:32,591 --> 00:36:34,992
ALL WE CAN REALLY HOPE FOR ARE

1396
00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:36,461
LITTLE POCKETS OF TIME, BETWEEN

1397
00:36:36,462 --> 00:36:38,763
NEW HORRORS AND CALAMITIES.

1398
00:36:38,764 --> 00:36:40,231
AND MAYBE THE GOAL SHOULD BE TO

1399
00:36:40,232 --> 00:36:41,132
SAVOR THOSE MINUTES OF CALM AS

1400
00:36:41,133 --> 00:36:44,869
BEST WE CAN.

1401
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:50,641
BASICALLY, I GUESS WHAT I'M

1402
00:36:50,642 --> 00:36:51,442
SAYING IS, WHEN CHAOS BECOMES

1403
00:36:51,443 --> 00:36:52,343
THE NORM, WE NEED TO APPRECIATE

1404
00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:52,977
EVERY SECOND WE'VE MANAGED TO GO

1405
00:36:52,978 --> 00:36:53,745
WITHOUT A FRESH AFFRONT.

1406
00:36:53,746 --> 00:36:54,345
EVERY DAY WITHOUT AN INCIDENT

1407
00:36:54,346 --> 00:36:55,380
GOING FORWARD SHOULD PROBABLY BE

1408
00:36:55,381 --> 00:36:59,684
CHERISHED.

1409
00:36:59,685 --> 00:37:00,284
AND I KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO BE

1410
00:37:00,285 --> 00:37:00,752
HITTING RESET A LOT.

1411
00:37:00,753 --> 00:37:02,020
MAYBE THE CLOCK'S BEEN TICKING

1412
00:37:02,021 --> 00:37:06,591
UP FOR A WHILE, AND SUDDENLY YOU

1413
00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:07,558
GET A NEWS ALERT.

1414
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:08,126
"RUDY GIULIANI APPOINTED TO

1415
00:37:08,127 --> 00:37:09,027
SUPREME COURT."

1416
00:37:09,028 --> 00:37:11,229
AND THEN BOOM, YOU'RE BACK TO

1417
00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:11,763
ZERO AGAIN.

1418
00:37:11,764 --> 00:37:12,997
MAYBE YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET

1419
00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:17,969
A SECOND TO CATCH YOUR BREATH,

1420
00:37:17,970 --> 00:37:19,504
THE CLOCK CLIMBS UP FOR A BIT,

1421
00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:20,471
ONLY FOR SUDDENLY-- "SECRETARY

1422
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:21,372
OF STATE TURNS OUT TO BE PUTIN

1423
00:37:21,373 --> 00:37:23,274
IN A FAKE MUSTACHE."

1424
00:37:23,275 --> 00:37:24,108
AND BOOM, YOU GOTTA RESET

1425
00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:24,475
AGAIN.

1426
00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:25,109
AND THIS IS THE TIME YOU SHOULD

1427
00:37:25,110 --> 00:37:25,710
REALLY TREASURE, BECAUSE DEEP

1428
00:37:25,711 --> 00:37:27,445
DOWN YOU KNOW IT'S A MATTER OF

1429
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:30,314
SECONDS BEFORE YOU'RE

1430
00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:31,082
INTERRUPTED WITH-- "WAIT, HOLD

1431
00:37:31,083 --> 00:37:31,816
ON, WE'RE "OUT" OF HELIUM NOW?"

1432
00:37:31,817 --> 00:37:33,251
LIKE...

1433
00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:33,885
IT'S ALL GONE?

1434
00:37:33,886 --> 00:37:35,420
AND MAYBE YOU'RE NOT SURE WHAT

1435
00:37:35,421 --> 00:37:37,288
TO MAKE OF THAT, SO YOU BARREL

1436
00:37:37,289 --> 00:37:40,324
ON, ONLY TO GET AN ALERT THAT

1437
00:37:40,325 --> 00:37:41,392
SAYS "ALL AQUARIUMS ARE

1438
00:37:41,393 --> 00:37:41,926
INDEFINITELY CLOSED TO THE

1439
00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:42,160
PUBLIC?"

1440
00:37:42,161 --> 00:37:43,161
WHICH IS SO CONFUSING IT FEELS

1441
00:37:43,162 --> 00:37:45,763
KIND OF OKAY TO JUST IGNORE

1442
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:46,698
UNTIL YOU GET THE ALERT, "PLEASE

1443
00:37:46,699 --> 00:37:51,736
STAY INSIDE; THE SKY IS FULL OF

1444
00:37:51,737 --> 00:37:55,039
SHARKS NOW."

1445
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:55,573
OH, I GET IT, THE HELIUM.

1446
00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:56,407
FROM BEFORE.

1447
00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:57,041
I'M NOT SURE OF THE EXACT CHAIN

1448
00:37:57,042 --> 00:37:57,675
OF EVENTS, BUT THE SKY IS FULL

1449
00:37:57,676 --> 00:37:58,209
OF SHARKS, AND THAT'S BAD.

1450
00:37:58,210 --> 00:37:58,509
MAKES SENSE.

1451
00:37:58,510 --> 00:37:59,444
AND BOOM, THAT'S GONNA BE A BIG

1452
00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:02,146
OLD RESET AGAIN.

1453
00:38:02,147 --> 00:38:03,614
THE POINT IS, WE'LL BE HERE FOR

1454
00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:06,984
YOU NEXT YEAR TO TALK ABOUT THE

1455
00:38:06,985 --> 00:38:08,052
BAD MOMENTS, AND HOPEFULLY THE

1456
00:38:08,053 --> 00:38:10,955
MOMENTS OF JOY IN BETWEEN.

1457
00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:11,556
THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANK YOU SO

1458
00:38:11,557 --> 00:38:12,156
MUCH FOR WATCHING US ALL THIS

1459
00:38:12,157 --> 00:38:12,357
YEAR.

1460
00:38:12,358 --> 00:38:12,890
WE'LL SEE YOU IN FEBRUARY.

1461
00:38:12,891 --> 00:38:15,160
GOOD NIGHT!

1462
00:38:23,136 --> 00:38:27,705
OH, COME ON!

1463
00:38:27,706 --> 00:38:29,875
FUCK THIS SHIT.