♪ ♪
>> John: HI THERE!
WELCOME TO THE SHOW, STILL
TAKING PLACE IN THIS BLANK VOID.
THINK OF IT LIKE THE MOON,
IN THAT IT'S FRIGID, COLORLESS,
AND OCCASIONALLY OCCUPIED BY ONE
VERY LONELY, MALNOURISHED MAN
WHO HAS DEFINITELY URINATED
IN HIS SUIT.
AND WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIVE
STRAIGHT IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY
THIS WEEK, WHICH -- UNUSUALLY
FOR US -- CONCERNS THE WEEK
THAT WE'VE JUST HAD.
IT'S ONE OF THE RARE TIMES WE'RE
ACTUALLY LIVING UP TO OUR SHOW'S
TITLE, UNLIKE WHAT IT PROBABLY
SHOULD BE CALLED, "28 MINUTES
ON THE CORN TAX OR WHATEVER
THE FUCK WITH JOHN OLIVER."
AND THE REASON WE ARE DOING THAT
IS THAT THIS HAS BEEN ONE
HELL OF A WEEK.
SO TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO TALK
ABOUT TWO THINGS: THE REPUBLICAN
NATIONAL CONVENTION, AND THE
HORRIFIC EVENTS IN KENOSHA,
WISCONSIN, WHERE JACOB BLAKE WAS
SHOT IN THE BACK BY POLICE, AND
A VIGILANTE KILLED TWO PEOPLE.
AND WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT
KENOSHA IN A BIT, BUT LET'S
START WITH THE RNC, AN EVENT TO
CELEBRATE THE STEWARDSHIP OF
DONALD TRUMP -- A TOUGH SELL AT
THE BEST OF TIMES, BUT SOMETHING
THAT FELT PARTICULARLY OUT OF
STEP CONSIDERING WE HAVE A
PANDEMIC ON THE RAMPAGE, AN
ECONOMIC CATASTROPHE UNFOLDING,
AND WILDFIRES AND HURRICANES
BATTERING THE COUNTRY.
ALL OF WHICH MADE IT A LITTLE
JARRING THAT THE REPUBLICANS'
OPENING ARGUMENT SEEMED TO BE
ESSENTIALLY THIS:
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
LEADERS AND FIGHTERS FOR FREEDOM
AND LIBERTY AND THE AMERICAN
DREAM!
THE BEST!
IS YET!
TO COME!
>> John: OKAY, THEN!
THAT'S KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE,
BRINGING AN ENERGY TO THE RNC
THAT CAN REALLY ONLY BE
DESCRIBED AS "SORRY, I THOUGHT
DOVES WERE GOING TO SHOOT OUT
OF MY HANDS."
AND THAT VERY MUCH SET THE TONE.
THE MAIN THEME OF THE CONVENTION
SEEMED TO BE "TELLING LIES
IN FRONT OF FLAGS."
BECAUSE IT WAS FOUR DAYS OF
A FULL-THROATED DENIAL OF
OBJECTIVE REALITY.
FOR ONE THING, THERE WAS THE
MISLEADING PORTRAIT THEY PAINTED
OF TRUMP'S OPPONENT.
>> IF BIDEN WINS, HE'LL BE
CONTROLLED BY THE ENVIRONMENTAL
EXTREMISTS.
>> WE'D BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO
GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTHCARE.
>> BIDEN HAS PLEDGED TO DEFUND
THE POLICE.
>> AND HE'S EVEN TALKING ABOUT
TAKING THE WALL DOWN, HOW ABOUT
THAT?
>> John: HONESTLY, THAT SOUNDS
GREAT!
UNFORTUNATELY BIDEN HAS PROMISED
TO DO EXACTLY NONE OF THOSE
THINGS.
BIDEN IS A RADICAL
ENVIRONMENTALIST
POLICE-DEFUNDING SOCIALIST
IN THE SAME WAY I'M HISTORY'S
GREATEST ZAZU.
YOU CAN SAY I AM ALL YOU WANT
TO, AND I WISH I WERE, BUT THE
FACT IS, IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO
BEING TRUE.
AND THE LIES TOLD ABOUT BIDEN
WERE JUST THE BEGINNING.
CONVENTION SPEAKERS ALSO CLAIMED
THAT TRUMP NEVER CALLED WHITE
SUPREMACISTS "VERY FINE PEOPLE,"
WHICH HE DID; THAT HE PASSED THE
VETERAN'S CHOICE ACT, WHICH HE
DIDN'T; AND THAT HE'S TRYING TO
PROTECT PATIENTS WITH
PREEXISTING CONDITIONS,
WHICH HE VERY MUCH ISN'T.
I'M HONESTLY SURPRISED A SPEAKER
DIDN'T AT ONE POINT CLAIM THAT
TRUMP INVENTED PARAKEETS,
OR THAT HE STOPPED
THE MURDER HORNETS BY SUCKING
THEM STRAIGHT OUT OF THE AIR.
AND YET, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF
A BLIZZARD OF LIES, SOME STILL
MANAGED TO STAND OUT -- LIKE
WHITE HOUSE ECONOMIC ADVISER
LARRY KUDLOW REFERRING TO THE
CORONAVIRUS WITH AN ODD CHOICE
OF VERB TENSE.
>> THEN, CAME A ONCE-IN-100-YEAR
PANDEMIC.
IT WAS AWFUL.
HEALTH AND ECONOMIC IMPACTS WERE
TRAGIC.
HARDSHIP AND HEARTBREAK WERE
EVERYWHERE.
BUT PRESIDENTIAL LEADERSHIP CAME
SWIFTLY AND EFFECTIVELY, WITH AN
EXTRAORDINARY RESCUE FOR HEALTH
AND SAFETY TO SUCCESSFULLY FIGHT
THE COVID VIRUS.
>> John: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE
CORONAVIRUS IN THE PAST TENSE,
WHEN IT IS, IN A VERY REAL
SENSE, STILL RAGING.
IF YOU'RE A CHARACTER IN A "SAW"
MOVIE, YOU DON'T SAY, "PHEW,
THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE" WHILE THE
BEAR TRAP IS STILL ON YOUR HEAD.
BUT MAYBE THE BIGGEST GULF
BETWEEN THE RNC AND OBJECTIVE
REALITY CONCERNED RACE.
AGAIN AND AGAIN, RNC SPEAKERS
WERE AT PAINS TO REASSURE
VIEWERS THAT RACISM IN AMERICA
IS MOSTLY A RELIC OF THE PAST,
AND WHATEVER REMAINS CAN BE
EASILY OVERCOME.
TAKE NIKKI HALEY'S SPEECH,
IN WHICH SHE FLATLY INSISTED
AMERICA IS NOT A RACIST COUNTRY,
AND THEN TOLD THE INSPIRATIONAL
STORY OF HOW THE CONFEDERATE
FLAG AT HER STATE'S CAPITOL
WAS TAKEN DOWN IN 2015
AFTER THE MASSACRE AT
MOTHER EMMANUEL CHURCH.
>> AFTER THAT HORRIFIC TRAGEDY,
WE DIDN'T TURN AGAINST
EACH OTHER.
WE CAME TOGETHER, BLACK AND
WHITE, DEMOCRAT AND REPUBLICAN.
TOGETHER, WE MADE THE HARD
CHOICES NEEDED TO HEAL, AND
REMOVED A DIVISIVE SYMBOL
PEACEFULLY AND RESPECTFULLY.
>> John: OH, THAT'S WHAT
HAPPENED, IS IT?
THAT SOUNDS NICE.
JUST A FEW THINGS THERE -- IT'S
A PEACEFUL STORY OF UNITY AND
HOPE AS LONG AS YOU START THE
STORY IMMEDIATELY AFTER
A WHITE SUPREMACIST KILLED
NINE PEOPLE AT A HISTORIC
BLACK CHURCH.
ALSO, HALEY'S VERSION OF THAT
STORY IGNORES THE FACT THAT
THE EVENTUAL REMOVAL OF THE
CONFEDERATE FLAG WAS
JUMP-STARTED BY ARTIST AND
ACTIVIST BREE NEWSOME BASS,
CLIMBING THE FLAGPOLE IN FRONT
OF THE STATE HOUSE LIKE SHE WAS
ON AN ANTI-RACIST VERSION OF
AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR, AND THAT
SHE WAS THEN ARRESTED, AND THAT
THE FLAG WAS THEN RERAISED
45 MINUTES LATER.
HALEY ALSO CONVENIENTLY LEAVES
OUT THE PART WHERE THE CANDIDATE
SHE'S ENDORSING HAS DEFENDED
THOSE WHO PROUDLY FLY THE FLAG
IT REPRESENTS THE SOUTH.
SO HALEY TURNING WHAT
HAPPENED IN SOUTH CAROLINA INTO
A SMOOTH, HOPEFUL STORY OF
RACIAL RECONCILIATION IS A BIT
LIKE IF SOMEONE ASKED HER WHAT
THE FILM "DO THE RIGHT THING" IS
ABOUT AND SHE SAID, "A BROOKLYN
NEIGHBORHOOD COMES TOGETHER TO
HELP REDECORATE A PIZZA PLACE."
I MEAN, SURE, NIKKI, I GUESS
THAT'S TECHNICALLY TRUE, BUT
SOME PRETTY IMPORTANT PARTS
THERE.
AND A LOT OF THE RNC'S MESSAGING
ON RACE SEEMED INTENDED NOT SO
MUCH TO WIN OVER BLACK VOTERS
AS TO REASSURE WHITE PEOPLE
THAT THEY COULD VOTE REPUBLICAN
WITHOUT BEING RACIST.
THE AUDIENCE THEY WERE TALKING
TO WAS PRETTY CLEAR, EVEN IN
SMALL MOMENTS LIKE THIS:
>> THE AMERICAN PEOPLE KNOW
WE DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN
SUPPORTING LAW ENFORCEMENT AND
STANDING WITH OUR
AFRICAN-AMERICAN NEIGHBORS.
>> John: WELL, HOLD ON, MIKE.
WHO IS THE "WE" IN THAT
SENTENCE?
BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU'RE MAKING
A DISTINCTION BETWEEN
"WE, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE" AND
"OUR AFRICAN-AMERICAN
NEIGHBORS," WHO I GUESS,
BY EXTENSION, ARE SOMEHOW
A DIFFERENT GROUP ENTIRELY.
BUT I GUESS THAT SENTIMENT
SHOULDN'T BE REALLY SURPRISING,
COMING FROM MIKE PENCE,
A MAN WHO PERMANENTLY LOOKS LIKE
HE SHOULD BE LIVING IN
"KEN'S WHITE FLIGHT
DREAM HOUSE."
AND ALL OF THIS OVERT TALK OF
RACIAL HARMONY WAS VERY MUCH IN
CONFLICT WITH THE STEADY DIET OF
BARELY-DISGUISED RACIAL PANIC
THAT VIEWERS WERE ALSO BEING
FED.
PERHAPS THE MOST FLAGRANT
EXAMPLE OF THIS CAME ON MONDAY
NIGHT, WHEN THE RNC CHOSE TO
FEATURE THE ST. LOUIS COUPLE
WHO WAS CHARGED WITH THREATENING
BLACK LIVES MATTER PROTESTORS
AT GUNPOINT LAST MONTH.
AND THE MESSAGE THEY WERE THERE
TO SEND WAS PRETTY CLEAR.
>> IT SEEMS AS IF THE DEMOCRATS
NO LONGER VIEW THE GOVERNMENT'S
JOB AS PROTECTING HONEST
CITIZENS FROM CRIMINALS, BUT
RATHER PROTECTING CRIMINALS FROM
HONEST CITIZENS.
>> THEY'RE NOT SATISFIED WITH
SPREADING THE CHAOS AND VIOLENCE
INTO OUR COMMUNITIES.
THEY WANT TO ABOLISH THE SUBURBS
ALL TOGETHER BY ENDING
SINGLE-FAMILY HOME ZONING.
THIS FORCED REZONING WOULD BRING
CRIME, LAWLESSNESS, AND
LOW-QUALITY APARTMENTS INTO
NOW-THRIVING SUBURBAN
NEIGHBORHOODS.
SO MAKE NO MISTAKE.
NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE, YOUR
FAMILY WILL NOT BE SAFE IN THE
RADICAL DEMOCRATS' AMERICA.
>> John: WOW.
OKAY, FIRST, C-SPAN, YOU REALLY
DIDN'T NEED TO PUT UP THE BANNER
THAT SAYS THEY'RE "PERSONAL
INJURY ATTORNEYS," I VERY MUCH
GOT THAT FROM THE EVERYTHING.
BUT MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY,
THINK ABOUT HOW INCENDIARY THAT
MESSAGE IS.
"VIOLENCE AND CRIMINALS ARE
COMING TO YOUR COMMUNITY IN THE
FORM OF "LOW-QUALITY
APARTMENTS," AND YOU MUST DEFEND
YOURSELF.
TAKE IT FROM US, THE COUPLE
WHO POINTED GUNS AT
BLACK LIVES MATTERS PROTESTORS."
AND RHETORIC LIKE THAT HAS
CONSEQUENCES.
WHICH ACTUALLY BRING US TO THE
SECOND PART OF OUR STORY THIS
WEEK: WHAT HAPPENED IN KENOSHA,
WISCONSIN, WHERE -- TO REITERATE
-- JACOB BLAKE WAS SHOT SEVEN
TIMES IN THE BACK BY POLICE,
WITH THREE OF HIS CHILDREN
IN THE CAR.
AND THEN, IN THE PROTESTS THAT
FOLLOWED, KYLE RITTENHOUSE,
A 17-YEAR-OLD WHO HAD TRAVELED
THERE FROM OUT OF STATE, AND WAS
ILLEGALLY CARRYING A WEAPON,
KILLED TWO PEOPLE.
AND LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF HE SAW
THE McCLOSKEYS SPEAK THE NIGHT
BEFORE HE CHOSE TO DRIVE TO
A CITY HE DIDN'T LIVE IN, TO
DEFEND PROPERTY HE DIDN'T OWN.
WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT HE WAS
AN AVID TRUMP SUPPORTER, EVEN
SITTING FRONT ROW AT A RALLY
BACK IN JANUARY.
AND TRUMP AND HIS MEDIA
ECOSYSTEM HAVE BEEN DELIVERING
ESSENTIALLY THE SAME MESSAGE AS
THE McCLOSKEYS FOR YEARS NOW.
JUST LOOK AT HOW QUICKLY
TUCKER CARLSON MOVED TO TRY AND
EXPLAIN AWAY RITTENHOUSE'S
ACTIONS AS A NATURAL RESPONSE.
>> SO ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED
THAT LOOTING AND ARSON
ACCELERATED TO MURDER?
HOW SHOCKED ARE WE THAT
17-YEAR-OLDS WITH RIFLES DECIDED
THEY HAD TO MAINTAIN ORDER WHEN
NO ONE ELSE WOULD?
>> John: WELL, YOU DON'T SEEM TO
BE SHOCKED, AND THAT ALONE
SHOULD BE PRETTY FUCKING
SHOCKING.
LET'S BE CLEAR: A 17-YEAR-OLD
VIGILANTE WITH A RIFLE CANNOT
MAINTAIN ORDER, BECAUSE
A 17-YEAR-OLD VIGILANTE WITH
A RIFLE TRYING TO MAINTAIN ORDER
IS, HIMSELF, THE DEFINITION OF
DISORDER.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE
A REGULAR VIEWER OF
TUCKER CARLSON, A SHOW THAT
EXISTS TO TEACH ITS VIEWERS
PRECISELY THREE THINGS:
PROPERTY DAMAGE IS VIOLENCE,
HOMICIDE IS ORDER,
AND PILLOWS ARE FOR SALE.
AND THE EVENTS IN KENOSHA REALLY
HAMMER HOME THE FLAGRANT DOUBLE
STANDARD BAKED INTO AMERICAN
SOCIETY.
JUST LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE
IN HOW THE POLICE IN KENOSHA
RESPONDED TO BLAKE, AND HOW THEY
RESPONDED TO RITTENHOUSE.
>> ALLEGED GUNMAN
KYLE RITTENHOUSE WALKING AWAY,
GUN IN TOW, AS PEOPLE SCREAMED
THAT HE JUST SHOT PROTESTERS.
ONE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER,
SEEMING TO ASK RITTENHOUSE
IF ANYONE WAS HURT.
TWO INCIDENTS, TWO VIDEOS,
WITH SOME ASKING WHY TWO
DIFFERENT RESPONSES.
>> John: WHY TWO DIFFERENT
RESPONSES?
I THINK THE ANSWER TO THAT IS
PRETTY OBVIOUS.
IT'S THE SAME REASON WHY, AHEAD
OF THE SHOOTING, THERE WAS VIDEO
OF THE POLICE TRYING TO ENFORCE
A CURFEW AGAINST PROTESTORS,
EVEN AS THEY OFFERED WATER TO
RITTENHOUSE AND THE MILITIA,
SAYING, AND I QUOTE,
"WE APPRECIATE YOU GUYS,
WE REALLY DO."
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A BETTER
VISUAL ILLUSTRATION OF THE
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BEING BLACK
AND WHITE IN AMERICA, I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE GOING TO FIND ONE,
EXCEPT MAYBE FOR SEEING EXACTLY
WHO SITS DOWN AND WHO STANDS UP
WHEN "COTTON EYED JOE" COMES ON
AT A WEDDING.
AND THAT DISPARITY IN TREATMENT
CONTINUED EVEN AFTER THE
SHOOTINGS -- JUST WATCH HOW,
THE NEXT DAY, THE KENOSHA POLICE
CHIEF COULDN'T HELP BUT SPREAD
BLAME TO THE PROTESTORS WHO WERE
SHOT AT AND KILLED.
>> EVERYBODY INVOLVED WAS OUT
AFTER THE CURFEW.
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE
A GREAT DEAL OF IT.
BUT THE POINT IS, THE CURFEW'S
IN PLACE TO PROTECT.
HAD PERSONS NOT BEEN OUT
INVOLVED, IN VIOLATION OF THAT,
PERHAPS THE SITUATION THAT
THAT UNFOLDED WOULD NOT
HAVE HAPPENED.
>> John: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,
THANKS SO MUCH FOR NOT MAKING
A GREAT DEAL OUT OF THAT.
THE PEOPLE WHO GOT MURDERED
WERE UP WAY PAST THEIR
GOVERNMENT-IMPOSED BEDTIME AND
YOU WERE NICE ENOUGH NOT TO EVEN
MENTION IT EXCEPT TO IMPLY THAT
MAYBE IT WAS A REASON THEY KIND
OF HAD IT COMING.
THAT IS THE KIND OF RESTRAINT
WE'VE ALL COME TO EXPECT FROM
THE KENOSHA POLICE DEPARTMENT.
AND YOU MIGHT THINK,
"WELL, HOLD ON, THAT'S JUST ONE
GUY.
SURELY NOT ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT
THERE THINKS THAT WAY."
ALTHOUGH, I WILL POINT OUT THAT
THE GUY STANDING NEXT TO HIM IS
THE KENOSHA SHERIFF, WHO, JUST
TWO YEARS AGO, GAVE A PRETTY
STRIKING PRESS CONFERENCE.
A GROUP OF FIVE YOUNG BLACK
PEOPLE HAD ALLEGEDLY STOLEN SOME
CLOTHING FROM AN OUTLET MALL AND
HAD LED POLICE ON A CHASE THAT
ENDED IN A MINOR CAR ACCIDENT.
AND IN THAT PRESS CONFERENCE,
HE EXPRESSED SOME VIEWS THAT ARE
PRETTY EXPLICIT.
>> LET'S PUT THEM IN JAIL.
LET'S -- LET'S STOP THEM FROM
TRULY -- AT LEAST SOME OF THESE
MALES GOING OUT AND GETTING
TEN OTHER WOMEN PREGNANT AND
HAVING SMALL CHILDREN.
LET'S PUT THEM AWAY.
AT SOME POINT, WE HAVE TO STOP
BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT.
>> John: SORRY, CAN I QUICKLY
INTERRUPT YOU THERE?
BECAUSE CALLING FOR AMERICAN
CITIZENS TO BE STOPPED FROM
"HAVING SMALL CHILDREN" ISN'T
"POLITICALLY INCORRECT," SO MUCH
AS "POLITICALLY 1940s GERMANY."
AND HE WASN'T JUST IDLY SAYING
THAT -- HE HAD REALLY THOUGHT
THROUGH A WHOLE PLAN.
I KNOW IT IS DEEPLY UNPLEASANT,
BUT IT'S WORTH LISTENING TO JUST
HOW DETAILED HIS SOLUTION WAS.
>> IF THERE'S A THRESHOLD THAT
THEY CROSS, THESE PEOPLE HAVE
TO BE WAREHOUSED.
NO RECREATIONAL TIME IN THE
JAILS, WE PUT THEM AWAY.
AND MAYBE WE'VE GOT TO DO IS
BUILD WAREHOUSES THAT, AFTER
THIS GENERATION IS GONE,
THEY'VE PERISHED IN THESE
BUILDINGS, WE CAN TURN THEM
INTO SOMETHING ELSE.
MAYBE IT'LL BE MALLS.
MAYBE, MAYBE AMAZON WILL BUY 'EM
AS -- AS WAREHOUSES LATER.
BUT AT SOME POINT, WE HAVE TO
GET RID OF THIS GROUP OF --
WE HAVE TO LOCK THEM UP.
I DON'T THINK I'M SAYING
ANYTHING DIFFERENT THAN MOST
PEOPLE IN SOCIETY AREN'T
THINKING, BUT THEY'RE AFRAID TO
SAY IT AND I'M JUST TO THE POINT
THAT I'M -- I'M SAYING IT.
>> John: OKAY, IF THAT IS WHAT
MOST PEOPLE IN SOCIETY ARE
THINKING, WE ARE, AND THIS IS
TRUE, A TERRIBLE SOCIETY.
AND I HONESTLY CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT WAS AN IDEA FROM A
STILL-EMPLOYED SHERIFF,
AND NOT A PITCH FROM
"SHARK TANK:
LIGHT GENOCIDE EDITION."
"GOOD QUESTION, MARK CUBAN.
THE ANSWER IS, THESE
CONCENTRATION CAMPS COULD EASILY
BE CONVERTED INTO
AMAZON WAREHOUSES.
OOH!
LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT A BIDDING
WAR ON MY HANDS!"
AND LOOK, THE EVENTS IN KENOSHA
WOULD BE INFURIATING
AT ANY TIME.
BUT IT'S SOMEHOW ESPECIALLY
INFURIATING THAT THEY TOOK PLACE
IN THE SAME WEEK WHERE THE RNC
DESPERATE TO REASSURE THE
COUNTRY THAT AMERICA ISN'T
RACIST,
WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY
FEARMONGERING ABOUT VIOLENT
CRIME THREATENING LAW-ABIDING
CITIZENS.
IT'S A DISCONNECT THAT WAS
PRETTY WELL SUMMED UP BY NBA
COACH DOC RIVERS IN AN EMOTIONAL
POSTGAME PRESS CONFERENCE
ON TUESDAY.
>> WHAT STANDS OUT TO ME IS
JUST -- JUST WATCHING THE
REPUBLICAN CONVENTION,
AND THEY'RE -- THEY'RE SPEWING
THIS FEAR.
RIGHT?
LIKE, ALL YOU HEAR IS
DONALD TRUMP AND ALL OF THEM
TALKING ABOUT FEAR.
WE'RE THE ONES GETTING KILLED.
WE'RE THE ONES GETTING SHOT.
WE'RE THE ONES THAT --
WE'RE DENIED TO LIVE
IN CERTAIN COMMUNITIES.
WE'VE BEEN HUNG.
WE'VE BEEN SHOT.
AND ALL YOU DO IS KEEP HEARING
ABOUT FEAR.
IT'S -- IT'S AMAZING TO ME WHY
WE KEEP LOVING THIS COUNTRY AND
THIS COUNTRY DOES NOT LOVE US
BACK.
>> John: YEAH, EXACTLY.
IT'S ALL EXHAUSTINGLY
DEPRESSING.
ALTHOUGH IN A WEEK OF INCREDIBLE
DARKNESS, THERE WAS ACTUALLY
A BRIGHT SPOT, BECAUSE SHORTLY
AFTER DOC RIVERS SPOKE,
SOMETHING GENUINELY
EXTRAORDINARY STARTED
TO HAPPEN IN HIS SPORT.
THE MILWAUKEE BUCKS HAD
A PLAYOFF GAME, BUT DIDN'T TAKE
THE COURT, WITH RUMORS FLYING
AROUND THAT THEY WERE ABOUT TO
REFUSE TO PLAY.
THEN, WNBA PLAYERS -- WHO,
INCIDENTALLY, HAVE LED FROM THE
START ON THE BLACK LIVES MATTER
MOVEMENT -- ALSO REFUSED TO
PLAY, AFTER ARRIVING AT
A SCHEDULED GAME WITH SHIRTS
WITH SEVEN BULLET HOLES DRAWN
ON THEIR BACK.
AND EVENTUALLY, WILDCAT STRIKES
SPREAD THROUGHOUT BOTH LEAGUES,
IN AN UNPRECEDENTED, GENUINELY
INSPIRING SHOW OF COLLECTIVE
ACTION.
AND THEY DID THIS WITHOUT UNION
APPROVAL, SO THEY WERE PUTTING
A LOT ON THE LINE -- THEIR
INCOME, AND MAYBE EVEN
THEIR CAREERS.
WHICH IS WHAT MAKES IT SO
INFURIATING THAT WHEN
JARED KUSHNER WAS ASKED FOR HIS
RESPONSE TO THE STRIKE, THIS WAS
WHAT FELL OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
>> LOOK, I THINK THAT THE NBA
PLAYERS ARE VERY FORTUNATE THAT
THEY HAVE THE FINANCIAL POSITION
WHERE THEY'RE ABLE TO TAKE
A NIGHT OFF FROM WORK WITHOUT
HAVING TO -- TO HAVE THE
CONSEQUENCES TO THEMSELVES
FINANCIALLY.
SO THEY HAVE THAT LUXURY,
WHICH IS GREAT.
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, GET
FUCKED, JARED, YOU "WELCOME TO
MARWEN" REJECT.
FOR A START, THEY'RE NOT TAKING
A NIGHT OFF FROM WORK.
THE EMOTIONAL TOLL OF BEING
BLACK IN AMERICA COMBINED
WITH THE PRESSURE T PERFORM AT
AN ELITE LEVEL DURING A
GLOBAL PANDEMIC IS, I'M
GUESSING, PRETTY TAXING.
SO BY NOT PLAYING, THEY'RE
NOT EXACTLY TAKING A SPA DAY.
AND IF NBA PLAYERS ARE TOO RICH
TO TAKE MEANINGFUL ACTION,
THEN WHO EXACTLY IS IN THE RIGHT
TAX BRACKET TO HAVE THEIR
PROTEST APPROVED BY AMERICA'S
MOST LAMINATED PRINCE?
BECAUSE WE'VE SEEN TIME AND TIME
AGAIN THAT WEALTH AND FAME
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PROTECT YOU
AS A BLACK ATHLETE.
IT DIDN'T PROTECT STERLING BROWN
FROM GETTING TASED BY THE POLICE
AFTER BEING STOPPED FOR
A PARKING VIOLATION IN
MILWAUKEE, AND IT DIDN'T PROTECT
THABO SEFOLOSHA FROM HAVING HIS
LEG BROKEN BY NYPD OFFICERS IN
AN INCIDENT THAT FORCED HIM TO
MISS THE 2015 PLAYOFFS AND PUT
HIS WHOLE CAREER IN JEOPARDY.
AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO STRAP IN,
JARED, BECAUSE THIS PROBABLY
ISN'T THE LAST DISRUPTIVE ACTION
LIKE THIS WE'RE GOING TO SEE
GOING FORWARD -- NOR SHOULD IT
BE.
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SICK OF
WAITING.
JUST LISTEN TO JACOB BLAKE'S
SISTER, LETETRA WIDMAN, MAKING
THAT VERY CLEAR.
>> I'M NOT SAD.
I'M NOT SORRY.
I'M ANGRY.
AND I'M TIRED.
I HAVEN'T CRIED ONE TIME.
I STOPPED CRYING YEARS AGO.
I AM NUMB.
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING POLICE
MURDER PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE
ME FOR YEARS.
I'M NOT SAD.
I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY.
I WANT CHANGE.
>> John: RIGHT.
THIS CAN'T BE ABOUT PITY.
IT CAN'T BE ABOUT SYMPATHY.
THAT IS WHY THERE IS NO SECTION
IN THE GREETING CARDS STORE
LABELED "CENTURIES OF
OPPRESSION."
THIS ISN'T ABOUT WHAT
WHITE PEOPLE FEEL OR SAY.
THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT CREATING
REAL CHANGE IN A SYSTEM THAT HAS
BEEN BUILT TO BE NON-RESPONSIVE.
BECAUSE HISTORY HAS REPEATEDLY
SHOWN THE SYSTEM DOESN'T RESPOND
UNTIL IT IS FORCED TO.
SO IT'S EASY FOR RNC SPEAKERS
TO INSIST THE ONLY APPROPRIATE
ACTION IS PEACEFUL AND
UNOBTRUSIVE.
BUT THE FACT IS, THAT'S NOT HOW
IT WORKS.
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE MARCHED
IN THE WAKE OF GEORGE FLOYD'S
DEATH, AND HAVE CONTINUED
MARCHING, EVEN AS MEDIA COVERAGE
HAS STEADILY DRIFTED AWAY.
MEANWHILE, THE NBA HAS MADE
A LOT OF SYMBOLIC GESTURES OF
SUPPORT FOR THE MOVEMENT, LIKE
PAINTING "BLACK LIVES MATTER"
ON THE COURT AND ALLOWING
PLAYERS TO WEAR A SOCIAL JUSTICE
MESSAGE ON THEIR JERSEYS,
SELECTED FROM A LIST OF
29 AGREED-UPON OPTIONS.
BUT TO UNDERSCORE JUST HOW
LIMITING THAT KIND OF
"PREAPPROVED" PROTEST CAN BE,
"SAY HER NAME" WAS ON THE LIST,
BUT "BREONNA TAYLOR" WAS NOT.
AND I GUESS THE ONLY POSITIVE
THING THERE IS, IF PLAYERS
WANTED TO PROTEST THAT
RESTRICTION, THE NBA HAD
A JERSEY READY MADE FOR THEM.
THE PROBLEM WITH PURELY SYMBOLIC
PROTEST IS THAT IT'S FAR TOO
EASY TO CO-OPT.
THERE MIGHT BE NO MORE VISCERAL
EXAMPLE OF THAT THAN THE FACT
THAT THAT KENOSHA SHERIFF AND
HUMAN WAREHOUSING INNOVATOR GOT
POSITIVE ATTENTION EARLIER THIS
YEAR WHEN HE KNEELED FOR NINE
MINUTES IN SOLIDARITY WITH
THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT.
SO IS IT ANY WONDER THAT
BASKETBALL PLAYERS FELT THEY HAD
TO ESCALATE THEIR PROTEST BY NOT
JUST WEARING A JERSEY, BUT
BY STRIKING --
AND IN DOING SO, PUTTING TEAM
OWNERS MONEY AT JEOPARDY.
BECAUSE REAL DISCOMFORT IS THE
ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO BRING
REAL CHANGE HERE.
AND IT'S WORTH NOTING THAT
ALREADY, THE STRIKE HAS HAD SOME
EFFECT.
NOT ONLY DID THE STRIKE SPREAD
TO OTHER SPORTS AND OTHER
ATHLETES, BUT THE NBA PLAYERS
NOW HAVE A PROMISE FROM OWNERS
TO CONVERT AS MANY OF THEIR
ARENAS AS POSSIBLE INTO
POLLING PLACES THIS NOVEMBER.
WHICH IS GREAT, ALTHOUGH IT ALSO
BRINGS US TO THE FACT THAT
SIMPLY VOTING THIS NOVEMBER IS
CLEARLY NOT GOING TO BE NEARLY
ENOUGH.
BECAUSE AS MUCH AS I OR THE RNC
WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT
JOE BIDEN WILL BE AN AGENT OF
RADICAL CHANGE, THERE IS JUST
NO REASON TO BELIEVE THAT.
TO THE EXTENT THAT REAL CHANGE
IS POSSIBLE THROUGH THE BALLOT
BOX THIS YEAR, IT WILL BE IF
BIDEN IS ELECTED ALONGSIDE
PROGRESSIVE CANDIDATES ALL DOWN
THE BALLOT, FROM THE SENATE
TO STATE LEGISLATURES TO CITY
COUNCILS TO SHERIFFS.
AND EVEN THAT WILL BE VERY MUCH
A BEGINNING AND NOT AN END.
NONE OF THIS IS EASY.
BUT IT HAS TO BEGIN, AND NOW.
BECAUSE OUR CURRENT SITUATION IS
COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.
AND THE RNC THIS WEEK ACTUALLY
ENDED UP BEING A PRETTY GOOD
REMINDER THAT WHERE WE STILL
MIGHT END UP GOING IS GENUINELY
TERRIFYING.
BECAUSE IF IT SHOWED US ONE
THING THIS WEEK, IT'S THE DANGER
IN CONTINUING TO BE GOVERNED
BY AN ADMINISTRATION THAT
ENCOURAGES THE UGLIEST FORCES IN
AMERICAN SOCIETY, THAT LIONIZES
THREATS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST
PEACEFUL PROTEST, THAT TELLS US
THERE IS NO CONFLICT BETWEEN
SUPPORTING LAW ENFORCEMENT AND
"OUR AFRICAN-AMERICAN
NEIGHBORS," AND THAT INSISTS
THAT THE "BEST IS YET TO COME,"
WHICH, GIVEN EVERYTHING WE'VE
SEEN IN THE LAST FOUR YEARS, IS
SOUNDING LESS LIKE A PROMISE AND
MORE LIKE A FUCKING THREAT.
AND NOW THIS.
♪ ♪
>> Announcer: AND NOW...
THE RNC GETS OFF TO A GREAT
START.
>> IN THE STATE OF UTAH, WE
INTRODUCED THE WORLD TO THE
FRISBEE.
>> WE BRING YOU MICROCHIPS.
CHEESES.
AND MICROBREWERIES.
WE ARE ALSO THE STATE OF THE
HOME OF
PRESIDENT CALVIN COOLIDGE.
THANK YOU.
>> THAT FREEDOM IS NOT AVAILABLE
TO YOU IF YOU CAN'T GO TO YOUR
PLACE OF BUSINESS OR DRIVE DOWN
THE STREET WITHOUT FEAR OF BEING
BITTEN -- BEATEN.
MARYLAND IS HOME OF THE
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, AND TOO,
OF OUR GREATEST SEGREGATION --
OF ABOLITIONISTS.
>> MONTANA, AFFECTIONATELY AND
ENTHUSIASTICALLY, GIVES ITS
40 -- 27 VOTES TO THE NEXT --
THE PRESIDENT.
>> I AM THE SON OF ANTHONY AND
JUDY, AND I CAST OHIO'S 82 VOTES
FOR DONALD DRAWN PRESIDENT.
>> TODAY, WE PROUDLY AND HAPPILY
CAST ALL 50 OF OUR VOTES FOR THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,
JOHN TRUMP.
>> DONALD J. TRUMP.
>> MR. PRESIDENT AND
MR. VICE PRESIDENT, YOU ARE
REHIRED.
>> John: MOVING ON.
FINALLY TONIGHT, A QUICK UPDATE
ABOUT DANBURY, CONNECTICUT.
ALSO KNOWN AS THE HAT CITY,
WHICH IS APPROPRIATE, BECAUSE
MUCH LIKE THE BOWLER HAT,
DANBURY IS A SUPERFLUOUS
ACCESSORY WITH NO PRACTICAL
PURPOSE THAT WENT OUT OF STYLE
IN THE 1930s.
NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED, I'VE
TAKEN A FEW CHEAP SHOTS LIKE
THAT AT THE CITY OF DANBURY OVER
THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.
AND PERHAPS UNSURPRISINGLY, THE
PEOPLE THERE HAVE TAKEN NOTICE.
>> OLIVER DELIVERED A SCATHING
SIDEBAR SMACKDOWN ABOUT DANBURY.
AND THIS IS THE CLOSEST SNIPPET
THAT WE COULD AIR WITHOUT
GETTING OUR FCC LICENSE PULLED.
WATCH THIS.
>> John: 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE GOING
TO FORGET A TOWN IN CONNECTICUT,
WHY NOT FORGET DANBURY?
BECAUSE, AND THIS IS TRUE,
[BLEEP] DANBURY.
I KNOW EXACTLY THREE THINGS
ABOUT DANBURY: "USA TODAY"
RANKED IT THE SECOND-BEST CITY
TO LIVE IN IN 2015, IT WAS ONCE
THE CENTER OF THE AMERICAN HAT
INDUSTRY -- AND IF YOU'RE FROM
THERE, YOU'VE GOT A STANDING
INVITE TO COME GET A THRASHING
FROM JOHN OLIVER.
CHILDREN INCLUDED.
>> YEAH, THERE WAS -- YOU SHOULD
WATCH THE CLIP, THERE'S NOT,
LIKE I SAID, AS -- AS MY
PRODUCER JOHN SAYS, THERE'S NOT
A LOT -- THERE'S A LOT OF BLEEPS
IN THAT ONE.
>> John: OKAY, DID I TELL
DANBURY, A SEEMINGLY CHARMING,
RANDOM CITY IN CONNECTICUT,
TO GO FUCK ITSELF?
YEAH, YEAH, I DID.
DID I INVITE EVERYONE WHO LIVED
THERE TO COME GET A THRASHING
FROM ME?
I CAN'T DENY THAT.
THE ONLY THING HE'S TECHNICALLY
WRONG ABOUT IS WHEN HE SAYS
THERE WERE A LOT OF BLEEPS IN
THAT CLIP.
BECAUSE I ONLY HEARD ONE BLEEP.
THE SECOND TIME I SAID
"FUCK DANBURY" THE AUDIO SEEMED
TO CUT OUT.
AND I'M WILLING TO ASSUME THAT
WAS OUR FAULT.
YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER: THIS
NETWORK IS OPERATED BY AT&T.
THAT'S RIGHT, BUSINESS DADDY!
GUESS WHO'S SWINGING AGAIN!
IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE
WE'VE SPOKEN, HASN'T IT?
HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOU?
ME, I'M JUST SHELTERING IN A
VOID, FIGHTING WITH SOME
ZIP CODES IN CONNECTICUT AND
MAY OR MAY NOT WISH TO
BE MURDERED BY THE COSTAR OF
"MARRIAGE STORY."
IT'S BEEN A WEIRD FEW MONTHS.
WE'VE GOT LOTS TO CATCH UP ON --
WE SHOULD PROBABLY TALK ON THE
PHONE MORE, BUT I DO REALIZE
THAT'S A BIG ASK FOR YOU.
AND LOOK, I DID THINK THE PEOPLE
OF DANBURY WOULD TAKE ISSUE WITH
WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING.
I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO SIMPLY
SIT THERE AND COWER IN FEAR OF
MY FISTS, PAUL HOLLYWOOD AND
MARY BERRY.
WHAT I DIDN'T EXPECT WAS JUST
HOW GREAT THEIR RESPONSE WOULD
BE.
BECAUSE DANBURY, AS ONE,
HAS RISEN UP AND FOUGHT BACK
MAGNIFICENTLY.
TAKE THIS SURPRISINGLY
WELL-PRODUCED RESPONSE FROM A
CHILD WHO LIVES THERE:
>> SO ACCORDING TO MY MOM, HBO'S
COMEDIAN JOHN OLIVER --
JOHN OLIVER THREW SOME SHADE ON
WHAT DANBURY HAS TO OFFER.
THE THINGS YOU MENTIONED ABOUT
DANBURY ARE SO YESTERDAY, LIKE
AN ARTICLE FROM 2015.
I WAS, LIKE, THREE-YEARS-OLD
WHEN THAT CAME OUT!
THREE!
>> John: WOW!
THAT KID CAME IN HOT!
AND THAT IS ALL GOOD.
THE ONLY THING I OBJECT
TO WAS HIM PUTTING MY NAME
IN AIR QUOTES.
BECAUSE, COME ON, KID!
THIS IS MY ACTUAL NAME!
IF I WAS GOING TO MAKE ONE UP,
I WOULDN'T CHOOSE SOMETHING THAT
MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A DICKENSIAN
CARICATURE.
I'D PICK SOMETHING INCREDIBLE
LIKE J-SUAVE OR
BIG JOHNNY TWO-SOUPS.
ALSO, FOR THE RECORD, THAT IS
THE FIRST TIME ANYONE'S EVER
LANDED A SUCCESSFUL BURN THAT
STARTED WITH THE PHRASE,
"ACCORDING TO MY MOM."
KUDOS, KID.
BUT THAT BOY WASN'T DANBURY'S
ONLY DEFENDER.
THERE WAS ALSO THIS OFFICIAL
RESPONSE FROM THE DANBURY HAT
TRICKS, THEIR LOCAL PRO HOCKEY
TEAM.
>> JOHN MAKES SEVERAL VALID
POINTS.
OUR RAILWAY MUSEUM IS QUITE
CHARMING, AND WE DO WEAR OUR
"HAT CITY" MONIKER PROUDLY.
HE DID HIS RESEARCH LIKE ANY
INTREPID REPORTER SHOULD, WHICH
HE IS.
THAT IS, WHEN HE'S NOT TAKING
BREAKS TO FILM SUCH CINEMATIC
CLASSICS AS "THE SMURFS,"
"WONDER PARK," OR MY PERSONAL
FAVORITE, AND THIS IS TRUE, HIS
ICONIC ROLE AS DICK PANTS IN THE
"LOVE GURU."
THERE IS ONE AREA, THOUGH, WHERE
JOHN DID NOT DO HIS HOMEWORK,
AND THAT IS, OF COURSE, THE IDEA
THAT HE COULD GIVE ANYONE IN
DANBURY A "THRASHING."
>> John: AGAIN, VERY GOOD.
HONESTLY, DANBURY MIGHT WANT TO
SERIOUSLY CONSIDER CHANGING ITS
NICKNAME FROM "THE HAT CITY," TO
"THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO SEEM MORE
THAN CAPABLE OF TAKING OVER MY
JOB" CITY.
ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE WHY THEY'D
WANT IT.
YES, WE BOTH LIVE IN SAD, EMPTY
VOIDS WHERE HOPE GOES TO DIE,
BUT AT LEAST DANBURY HAS
A RAILWAY MUSEUM.
WE HAVEN'T HAD ONE OF THOSE
SINCE SEASON FOUR.
BUT THE STRONGEST RESPONSE BY
FAR ACTUALLY CAME FROM THE MAYOR
OF DANBURY HIMSELF.
>> BEHIND ME, YOU'LL SEE THE
CITY OF DANBURY SEWER PLANT, AND
WE ARE GONNA RENAME IT THE
"JOHN OLIVER MEMORIAL SEWER
PLANT."
WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF [BLEEP]
JUST LIKE YOU, JOHN.
>> John:EXCELLENT.
SIMPLY EXCELLENT.
JUST CALLING IT THE "JOHN OLIVER
SEWER PLANT" WOULD HAVE
COMFORTABLY BEEN ENOUGH.
THEY WENT A STEP FARTHER AND
WENT WITH THE "JOHN OLIVER
"MEMORIAL" SEWER PLANT," WHICH
IS COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE,
BECAUSE IT DOES SEEM THAT I'VE
JUST BEEN MURDERED BY THE CITY
OF DANBURY.
AND I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT
THIS, NOT JUST BECAUSE THAT'S
A SUPERB JOKE, BUT BECAUSE I
KNOW JUST HOW VALUABLE THAT
POOP FACTORY IS TO DANBURY.
WE DUG INTO THEIR 2019-2020
ADOPTED BUDGET AND FOUND THAT
DANBURY'S SEWER SYSTEM WAS BY
FAR THE MOST EXPENSIVE PUBLIC
UTILITY PROJECT FOR THAT
FISCAL YEAR.
THEY SPENT $103 MILLION DOLLARS
UPGRADING IT, MORE THAN 20 TIMES
THEIR NEXT BUDGET ITEM.
AND NORMALLY, I'D MAKE SOME EASY
JOKE ABOUT DANBURY BEING A TOWN
SO BACKED UP WITH SHIT THAT IT
HAD TO SPEND NINE FIGURES ON
FIXING THEIR SEWAGE SYSTEM, BUT
THE TRUTH IS, MY OPINION OF THE
CITY HAS NOW CHANGED.
PREVIOUSLY, I'D HAVE SEEN THIS
IMAGE OF A MINK ABOUT TO DIVE
INTO CANDLEWOOD LAKE, AND
ASSUMED IT WAS UNDERSTANDABLY
TRYING TO DROWN ITSELF BECAUSE
OF ITS PROXIMITY TO DANBURY.
BUT NOW I KNOW THAT'S SIMPLY
WRONG.
THAT MINK'S PROBABLY GOT A
DECENT YOUTUBE SHOW --
EVERYONE IN DANBURY SEEMS TO.
IT'S AN INCREDIBLE PLACE.
AND THE TRUTH IS, THINGS HAVE
BEEN SO BLEAK RECENTLY, I NEEDED
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
SOMETHING TO RESTORE MY FAITH
IN HUMAN NATURE.
AND THAT IS WHY I WAS SO
INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED TO
THEN SEE THIS.
>> OUR VIDEO IS IN JEST.
WE'RE NOT REALLY GONNA NAME THE
SEWER PLANT AFTER JOHN OLIVER.
HOWEVER, HE STILL IS FULL OF
[BLEEP], SO I'LL STICK BY THAT.
>> John: WAIT, SO YOU'RE NOT
DOING IT?
OH, FUCK YOU, DANBURY!
YOU HAD THE FIRST GOOD IDEA
IN YOUR CITY'S HISTORY AND
YOU CHICKENED OUT ON THE
FOLLOW THROUGH?
WHAT A CLASSIC DANBURY MOVE.
LISTEN.
I DIDN'T KNOW I WANTED MY NAME
ON YOUR SHIT FACTORY, BUT NOW
THAT YOU'VE FLOATED IT AS AN
OPTION, IT IS ALL I WANT.
SO LET'S GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS
HERE, BECAUSE I'VE GOT A VERY
SERIOUS PROPOSITION.
I WILL DONATE $55,000 TO
CHARITIES IN YOUR AREA --
$25,000 TO THIS FOOD BANK,
ANOTHER $25,000 TO FILL ALL
THE REQUESTS, AS OF THIS TAPING,
FROM DANBURY SCHOOLTEACHERS ON
DONORS CHOOSE, AND $5,000 TO ALS
CONNECTICUT -- APPARENTLY A
CAUSE CLOSE TO THE HOST OF
THE DANBURY HAT TRICK'S VIDEO.
AND I WILL HAPPILY DO ALL OF
THAT IF, AND ONLY IF, YOUR
MAYOR MAKES GOOD ON HIS PROMISE
TO OFFICIALLY NAME THAT SEWAGE
PLANT AFTER ME.
BECAUSE I WANT THIS.
I NEED THIS.
AND IF YOUR MAYOR IS THINKING,
"HOLD ON -- THAT SIGN WAS JUST A
PHOTOSHOP.
I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND PUBLIC
MONEY TO MAKE A REAL ONE" --
DON'T WORRY, THAT HAS BEEN TAKEN
CARE OF FOR YOU.
SO TO YOU, MR. MAYOR, I SAY
THIS, YOU HAVE EXACTLY ONE WEEK
TO RESPOND TO THIS OFFER.
AND PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU, DON'T
DANBURY THIS ONE UP.
BECAUSE IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU
IN ONE WEEK, THIS WHOLE OFFER
-- CHARITY DONATION, THE SIGN,
EVERYTHING -- OPENS UP TO YOUR
RIVAL TOWNS.
YEAH, I'M TALKING ABOUT
WATERBURY.
I'M TALKING ABOUT MILFORD.
I'M EVEN TALKING ABOUT
TORRINGTON.
YEAH, DANBURY, TORRINGTON!
I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE WITH
INTEREST!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE'RE OFF THE NEXT COUPLE OF
WEEKS, BACK SEPTEMBER 27th.
SEE YOU THEN, GOOD NIGHT!
YOUR MOVE, DANBURY.
YOUR MOVE.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.
I WANT MY SEWAGE PLANT!
♪ ♪