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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.

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PROGRESSIVE ABDUL EL-SAYED

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NARROWLY WON THE DEMOCRATIC

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PRIMARY IN MICHIGAN, A SPACEX

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ROCKET CRASHED INTO THE MOON,

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AND THERE WAS A FENDER-BENDER ON

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I-71 IN CINCINNATI, WHICH ISN'T

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ITSELF NOTEWORTHY, BUT THE WAY

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IT GOT REPORTED WAS PRETTY

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GREAT.

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>> TRAFFIC IS SLOWING DOWN ON

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BOTH SIDES AROUND THIS CAR AS

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WELL AS THAT ON RAMP, OH SHI--

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OH, I'M SO SORRY, I LITERALLY

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JUST WATCHED A CRASH HAPPEN IN

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REAL TIME, AND I ALMOST SAID

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SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE.

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>> John: WELL, NOT ALMOST.

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TO BE FAIR, YOU BASICALLY LET

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THE WHOLE WORD OUT THERE.

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NOT THAT I'M JUDGING, BY THE WAY

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-- "OH SHIT" IS A COMPLETELY

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APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO SEEING A

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CAR CRASH HAPPEN.

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AN INAPPROPRIATE ONE WOULD'VE

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BEEN IF YOU'D SAID, "NICE!"

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OR "EH, THAT ONE DIDN'T DO IT

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FOR ME," OR A LONG, SOFT MOAN.

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BUT JUST BLURTING OUT "SHIT?"

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THAT'S CALLED "BEING A HUMAN

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BEING."

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AND LOOK, I'D LOVE NOTHING MORE

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THAN TO SPEND THE REST OF THIS

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SHOW ENJOYING CLIPS OF PEOPLE

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SWEARING ON LOCAL NEWS, BUT

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SADLY THERE'S NO TIME TO DO

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THAT.

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BECAUSE WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO

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DIVE IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY

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TONIGHT, WHICH CONCERNS JUSTICE.

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IT'S BOTH A SNATCHED BLINDFOLDED

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LADY, AND ALSO, A PRETTY GOOD

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NAME FOR A DOG ABOVE 40 POUNDS.

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SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO

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TALK ABOUT THE DEPARTMENT OF

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JUSTICE, WHICH HAS BEEN IN THE

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NEWS A LOT LATELY FOR A BUNCH OF

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REASONS, FROM ITS PROSECUTIONS

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OF JAMES COMEY AND OTHER TRUMP

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ENEMIES, TO SUBPOENAING

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JOURNALISTS WHO'VE REPORTED

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CRITICALLY ON THE

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ADMINISTRATION.

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AND JUST THIS WEEK, WE SAW AN

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ABSOLUTE FIASCO SURROUNDING

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JEANINE PIRRO-- U.S. ATTORNEY

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FOR D.C. AND THE FUTURE STAR OF

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF HELL.

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YOU MIGHT REMEMBER LAST MONTH,

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SHE CHARGED THIS FORMER OLYMPIC

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CANOEIST WITH A FELONY FOR

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ALLEGEDLY VANDALIZING THE

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REFLECTING POOL, JUSTIFYING HER

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DECISION LIKE THIS.

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>> HEARN WILLFULLY DESTROYED

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PROPERTY.

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>> DID HE HAVE ANY TOOLS OR WAS

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IT JUST HIS BARE HANDS?

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>> RIGHT NOW, WE BELIEVE IT'S

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HIS BARE HANDS.

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BOTH HANDS!

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>> SO, DOES THAT INDICATE IN

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YOUR BELIEF THAT IT WAS PROBABLY

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DAMAGED BEFORE, OR DO YOU

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BELIEVE THAT HE DAMAGED IT

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BEFORE--

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>> OH, HE DAMAGED IT.

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>> FURTHER, BUT DO YOU BELIEVE

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IT HAD ALREADY BEEN DAMAGED

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BEFORE?

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>> HE DAMAGED THE POOL.

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HE DAMAGED THIS POOL.

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>> John: OKAY, OKAY, FIRST: YOU

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HAVE TO PROMISE NOT TO TAKE WHAT

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I'M ABOUT TO SAY OUT OF CONTEXT.

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BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SEE

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THIS PULLED OUT IN A HEADLINE

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TOMORROW, OKAY?

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THAT SAID: WE SHOULDN'T ALWAYS

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HAVE TO BELIEVE WOMEN.

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BECAUSE SOMETIMES WOMEN, LIKE

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JEANINE PIRRO-- AND MANY MEN!

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CAN BE, AND AGAIN, DON'T QUOTE

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ME ON THIS, DUMB AS FUCK, WRONG

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AS SHIT, AND LOUDER THAN A DRUNK

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PARAKEET.

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THE POINT IS, THAT WAS A WILD

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CLAIM, AND LAST FRIDAY, THE DOJ

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QUIETLY MOVED TO DISMISS THE

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CHARGE, ACKNOWLEDGING WHAT

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EVERYONE ALREADY ASSUMED-- THAT

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THE DAMAGE TO THE REFLECTING

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POOL WAS THE RESULT OF A BOTCHED

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INSTALLATION AND NOT, IN FACT,

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VANDALISM.

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TRUMP, THOUGH, WAS NOT HAPPY

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ABOUT THAT, AND REPORTEDLY

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CONSIDERED FIRING PIRRO, SAYING

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THAT SHE "CHOKED," AND ADDING

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THIS.

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>> I WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH

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JEANINE PIRRO-- REALLY

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DISAPPOINTED WITH JEANINE PIRRO.

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SHE FOLDED LIKE AN UMBRELLA.

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>> John: OKAY, THAT IS,

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UNFORTUNATELY, A VERY FUNNY WAY

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OF SAYING IT.

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HONESTLY, IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE--

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A MUCH BETTER ONE-- TRUMP WOULD

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BE A SASSY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR ON

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A LONG-RUNNING SITCOM.

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SADLY, INSTEAD, HE'S THE

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PRESIDENT AND HIS BITCHY QUIPS

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ABOUT BEING BUMMED THE U.S.

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ATTORNEY FOR D.C. ISN'T GETTING

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THE RESULTS HE PERSONALLY WANTS

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ARE SIGNS OF A SLOW-MOVING

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CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS.

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AND THAT'S FAR FROM THE ONLY

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SIGN THAT THE DOJ'S INCREASINGLY

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ACTING AT TRUMP'S BEHEST.

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JUST THIS WEEK, THE SENATE

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CONFIRMED HIS FORMER PERSONAL

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ATTORNEY TODD BLANCHE AS

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ATTORNEY GENERAL-- DESPITE

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AMONG OTHER THINGS, CONTROVERSY

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OVER THE "ANTI-WEAPONIZATION

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FUND MEANT TO BENEFIT TRUMP'S

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ALLIES, AND THE ACCOMPANYING

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SETTLEMENT THAT PROTECTED TRUMP

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FROM IRS AUDITS, WHICH IS JUST

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MADNESS.

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THE DECIDING VOTE ON BLANCHE

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CAME DOWN TO BILL CASSIDY, WHO

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GAVE A SPEECH OUTLINING THE MANY

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GOOD REASONS NOT TO CONFIRM

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BLANCHE, BEFORE ANNOUNCING HE

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WAS GOING TO VOTE FOR HIM

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ANYWAY, AND THEN ENDING HIS

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ADDRESS LIKE THIS.

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>> I'LL BE CRITICIZED FOR THIS

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WHAT'S NEW?

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BUT...

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PEOPLE OF LOUISIANA CAN BE

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ASSURED THAT I WORKED HARD TO

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UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE, AND TO

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MAKE THE DECISION.

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WITH THAT I YIELD.

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>> John: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

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THAT'S GOTTA BE ONE OF THE MOST

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OVER-THE-TOP DRAMATIC

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PERFORMANCES I'VE EVER SEEN, AND

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I'LL REMIND YOU, THAT'S COMING

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FROM SOMEONE WHO'S NOW BEEN IN

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MULTIPLE SOAP OPERAS.

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[CHEERS AND APLAUSE]

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I'M ON "DAYS OF OUR LIVES" NEXT

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WEEK, BY THE WAY.

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AS FOR, "I'LL BE CRITICIZED FOR

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THIS, WHAT'S NEW," I DON'T KNOW

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MAN, MAYBE TRY VOTING FOR

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SOMETHING PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY

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LIKE!

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IF EVERY DAY BEFORE WORK YOU

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PSYCH YOURSELF UP IN THE MIRROR

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SAYING "HERE WE GO, ANOTHER DAY

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AT THE ASSHOLE FACTORY MAKING

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EVERYONE HATE ME," IT MIGHT BE

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TIME TO RECONSIDER SOME OF YOUR

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CHOICES!

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AND LOOK, SOME OF THE MESSES AT

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THE DOJ HAVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN WELL

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COVERED, FROM THE REFLECTING

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POOL, TO ITS SUSPICIOUS

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TREATMENT OF THE EPSTEIN FILES.

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BUT THE DAMAGE TO IT ACTUALLY

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GOES FAR BEYOND THE SPLASHIEST

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HEADLINES.

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SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, WE

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THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE WORTH

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CHECKING IN ON WHAT CHANGES

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TRUMP'S MADE AT THE DOJ: WHO'S

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WORKING THERE NOW, THE

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PRIORITIES THEY'VE BEEN GIVEN,

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AND WHAT THAT MEANS FOR THE REST

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OF US.

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AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT

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THAT THE DOJ'S A MASSIVE

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ORGANIZATION-- ENCOMPASSING

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EVERYTHING FROM THE FBI, TO THE

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DEA, TO THE BUREAU OF PRISONS.

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BUT WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS MAINLY

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ON THE THOUSANDS OF LAWYERS WHO,

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AMONG OTHER THINGS, LITIGATE ITS

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CASES.

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THEY'VE LONG BEEN HELD IN HIGH

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ESTEEM WITHIN THE LEGAL

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PROFESSION, AND AT LEAST

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POST-NIXON, MOST MODERN

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PRESIDENTS HAVE UNDERSTOOD THAT

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THEIR MISSION NECESSITATES A

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DEGREE OF INDEPENDENCE.

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IN FACT, THE FIRST TIME OBAMA

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MET WITH HIS U.S. ATTORNEYS, HE

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APPARENTLY TOLD THEM, "I

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APPOINTED YOU, BUT YOU DON'T

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SERVE ME.

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YOU SERVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE."

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AND AS THIS FORMER DOJ OFFICIAL

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POINTS OUT, THAT IDEAL IS

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FOUNDATIONAL TO HOW THE

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DEPARTMENT IS SUPPOSED TO

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OPERATE.

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>> IN THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE,

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WHEN YOU STAND UP IN COURT, YOU

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DON'T SAY, "I'M MIKE GORDON

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REPRESENTING A PARTICULAR

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PERSON."

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YOU SAY, "I'M MIKE GORDON

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REPRESENTING THE UNITED STATES

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AND ALL OF ITS PEOPLE," EVEN THE

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DEFENDANT, EVEN THE JUDGE

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HIMSELF.

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>> John: EXACTLY!

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YOU REPRESENT ALL AMERICA'S

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PEOPLE.

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THE DEFENDANT, THE JUDGE, QUEEN

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LATIFAH, YOUR SOPHOMORE ENGLISH

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TEACHER, THE HAWK TUAH GIRL, A

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FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND STEVES,

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WHITE GIRLS WITH DREADLOCKS

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NAMED RIVER SWALLOW, AND THE BUS

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DRIVERS WHO CLOSE THE DOOR EVEN

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THOUGH THEY DEFINITELY SAW YOU

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RUNNING.

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DOJ LAWYERS SPEAK FOR ALL OF

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THEM.

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AND EVEN TRUMP'S FIRST ATTORNEY

257
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GENERAL THIS TERM, PAM BONDI,

258
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,176
SEEMED TO KNOW ENOUGH TO PROMISE

259
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:27,680
SENATORS SHE'D PRESERVE THE

260
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:28,314
AGENCY'S INDEPENDENCE DURING HER

261
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,181
CONFIRMATION HEARINGS.

262
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:29,782
>> I WILL NOT POLITICIZE THAT

263
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,184
OFFICE.

264
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,186
I WILL NOT TARGET PEOPLE SIMPLY

265
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:34,720
BECAUSE OF THEIR POLITICAL

266
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:39,692
AFFILIATION.

267
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,259
JUSTICE WILL BE ADMINISTERED

268
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:40,859
EVEN-HANDEDLY THROUGHOUT THIS

269
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:41,694
COUNTRY.

270
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,695
>> John: WELL, THANK YOU,

271
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,697
PAMELA JO.

272
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,198
I FOR ONE HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED

273
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,700
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF ELLE WOODS

274
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,334
GOT HOOKED ON LORAZAPAM AND NOW

275
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:51,203
I KNOW.

276
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,205
BUT THE INDEPENDENCE PROMISED BY

277
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,707
PINSTRIPE TARGARYEN HERE CLEARLY

278
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,709
DIDN'T LAST LONG.

279
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:57,843
JUST A FEW WEEKS INTO BONDI'S

280
00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,712
TIME ON THE JOB, SHE ACTUALLY

281
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:02,214
ACCOMPANIED TRUMP TO THE DOJ TO

282
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,716
ADDRESS STAFF, WHERE SHE SAID,

283
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,217
"WE ARE SO PROUD TO WORK AT THE

284
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,219
DIRECTIVE OF DONALD TRUMP."

285
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,721
HE THEN GAVE A SPEECH IN WHICH

286
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,222
HE COMPLAINED THE DOJ HAD BECOME

287
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,724
A CORRUPT GROUP OF HACKS AND

288
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,726
RADICALS AND MADE IT CLEAR THAT

289
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:14,293
HE FELT IT'D BEEN WEAPONIZED

290
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,728
AGAINST HIM, DRAWING THIS

291
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,230
STRIKING COMPARISON.

292
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,732
>> I WAS ATTACKED BY A POLITICAL

293
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:24,236
OPPONENT, AND PROBABLY IT HELPED

294
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,238
THAT I WAS ATTACKED MORE THAN

295
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,239
ANYBODY IN THE HISTORY OF OUR

296
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:27,740
COUNTRY.

297
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:28,273
ALPHONSE CAPONE, THE GREAT

298
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,742
ALPHONSE CAPONE, LEGENDARY,

299
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,743
SCARFACE, WAS ATTACKED ONLY A

300
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,377
TINY FRACTION OF WHAT TRUMP WAS

301
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:35,748
ATTACKED.

302
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,250
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, I'M SORRY:

303
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,253
"ALPHONSE?"

304
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,254
WHAT ARE YOU, CAPONE'S MOTHER

305
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:48,260
WHEN SHE'S MAD AT HIM?

306
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:48,861
BUT SECOND, WHY ON EARTH WOULD

307
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:49,495
YOU TRY TO AFFIRM YOUR INNOCENCE

308
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:49,995
BY REFERENCING A FAMOUS

309
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:50,262
CRIMINAL?

310
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,263
IF YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO

311
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,264
ASSOCIATE YOU WITH SOMETHING,

312
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,766
DON'T BRING UP THE COMPARISON.

313
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,769
THERE'S A REASON YOU'LL NEVER

314
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:57,770
CATCH ME MAKING REFERENCE TO

315
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:58,270
MR. PEABODY OR MARCIE OR

316
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,774
MILHOUSE OR NERDY NUT BEAR, THE

317
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:02,775
OFFICIAL MASCOT OF NERDY NUTS OR

318
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,778
INDEED, THIS SINK.

319
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:06,378
I NEED THE AUDIENCE TO KEEP US

320
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:11,784
SEPARATE.

321
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:12,284
BUT SURE ENOUGH, ALMOST

322
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,786
IMMEDIATELY AFTER TRUMP TOOK

323
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,287
OFFICE LAST YEAR, THE DOJ BEGAN

324
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,288
TO PURGE OFFICIALS WHO'D

325
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,289
INVESTIGATED HIM OR HIS ALLIES

326
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:17,790
-- AND THAT WAS JUST THE

327
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:18,791
BEGINNING OF A MASSIVE

328
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,794
HOUSECLEANING.

329
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,295
AND IT'S WORTH UNDERSTANDING THE

330
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:23,829
EXTENT TO WHICH THE DOJ'S

331
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,298
WORKFORCE HAS CHANGED.

332
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:26,932
FIRST, IT'S GOTTEN MEANINGFULLY

333
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:31,303
SMALLER.

334
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:31,937
BEFORE TRUMP TOOK OFFICE, THERE

335
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:32,805
WERE JUST UNDER 13,000 ATTORNEYS

336
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,306
AT THE DOJ.

337
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,808
BUT NEARLY 4,000 HAVE SINCE

338
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:36,442
LEFT, AND ONLY AROUND 1,400 HAVE

339
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,311
BEEN HIRED TO REPLACE THEM.

340
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,312
IN FACT, THEY SEEM TO BE REALLY

341
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,314
STRUGGLING TO RECRUIT PEOPLE, AS

342
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,816
THE JOB STANDARDS IN SOME

343
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,317
OFFICES HAVE BEEN LOWERED TO THE

344
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:49,321
POINT APPLICANTS NO LONGER EVEN

345
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:49,855
HAVE TO HAVE WORKED AS AN

346
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:50,456
ATTORNEY-- THEY JUST HAVE TO

347
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,324
HAVE A LAW DEGREE AND ACTIVE

348
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,325
STATE BAR MEMBERSHIP.

349
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,327
AND EVEN SOME OF ITS NON-LAWYER

350
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:55,928
HIRES HAVE BEEN QUESTIONABLE.

351
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,396
JUST WATCH THIS EXCHANGE WHEN

352
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:58,397
BONDI TESTIFIED BEFORE CONGRESS

353
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,833
IN FEBRUARY, AND A CONGRESSMAN

354
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,400
BROUGHT UP SOME FOOTAGE FROM

355
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,835
JANUARY 6.

356
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,838
>> I WANT TO SHOW YOU JUST A

357
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:06,138
BRIEF VIDEO.

358
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:06,772
IT'S ABOUT 30 SECONDS, AND I'LL

359
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:07,406
ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS ABOUT

360
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:07,840
IT.

361
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,341
>> YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING, MAN.

362
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,343
YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING.

363
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:11,910
I'M FORMER-- I'M FORMER LAW

364
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:12,845
ENFORCEMENT.

365
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,346
YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

366
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:14,847
YOU ARE THE NAZI.

367
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,849
YOU ARE THE GESTAPO.

368
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:17,349
>> SHAME ON YOU!

369
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,851
SHAME ON YOU!

370
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,352
YEAH!

371
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:20,652
FUCK THEM!

372
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:21,854
YEAH!

373
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:22,354
KILL 'EM!

374
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,858
YEAH!

375
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:26,859
>> USA!

376
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:33,365
USA!

377
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:37,369
>> ATTORNEY GENERAL BONDI, THAT

378
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,873
MAN WORKS FOR YOU NOW, RIGHT?

379
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,374
>> WHO WAS THAT, CONGRESSMAN?

380
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,877
>> THE MAN IN THAT VIDEO, THE

381
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,378
ONE WHO WAS IN THE POLICE-WORN

382
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,380
BODYCAM FOOTAGE, THE ONE

383
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,382
ALLEGEDLY YELLING, "KILL HIM,"

384
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:50,883
AT POLICE OFFICERS ON

385
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,985
JANUARY 6TH.

386
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,386
HIS NAME IS JARED WISE.

387
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:54,887
>> HE DOES WORK FOR US.

388
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:55,420
>> HE WORKS FOR YOU AT THE

389
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:55,888
DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE.

390
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,390
>> HE DOES.

391
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,392
>> John: YEAH, NOT GREAT!

392
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,393
ESPECIALLY GIVEN THE MAN IN

393
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,895
QUESTION-- THIS GUY-- WAS

394
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,398
HIRED AS PART OF THE DOJ'S NEW

395
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:06,999
"WEAPONIZATION WORKING GROUP."

396
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,566
THOUGH MAYBE THE WORST PART

397
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,401
THERE IS BONDI ASKING FOR HIS

398
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,403
NAME, AS IF ANY ONE IN THE CROWD

399
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,905
OF SCREAMING, VIOLENT RIOTERS

400
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,406
COULD PLAUSIBLY BE WORKING FOR

401
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:14,907
HER.

402
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,408
"DID I HIRE THE SHRIEKING

403
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,910
LUNATIC YOU JUST SHOWED ME?

404
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,912
YOU'LL HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC,

405
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:20,913
I SEE A LOT OF STRONG CANDIDATES

406
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,415
AND FAMILIAR FACES THERE."

407
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,417
BUT IT'S NOT JUST PERSONNEL

408
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,919
THAT'S CHANGED, IT'S PRIORITIES.

409
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:27,920
AS YOU'VE PROBABLY NOTICED, THE

410
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:28,921
AGENCY'S BROUGHT A BUNCH OF

411
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,923
CASES AND INVESTIGATIONS AGAINST

412
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:31,924
TRUMP'S ENEMIES-- INCLUDING

413
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,425
ONES AGAINST JAMES COMEY,

414
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,927
LETITIA JAMES, ADAM SCHIFF, AND

415
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,428
JEROME POWELL.

416
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,429
AND IT SEEMS FAIR TO SUGGEST

417
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,430
THAT MANY WERE BROUGHT ON

418
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,933
TRUMP'S PERSONAL INSTRUCTIONS,

419
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,434
ESPECIALLY GIVEN LAST FALL, HE

420
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:46,939
LITERALLY POSTED THIS NOTE TO

421
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,440
PAM BONDI THAT READ, PAM: I HAVE

422
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,441
REVIEWED OVER 30 STATEMENTS AND

423
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,442
POSTS SAYING THAT, ESSENTIALLY,

424
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:55,447
"SAME OLD STORY AS LAST TIME,

425
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,448
ALL TALK, NO ACTION."

426
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,449
"NOTHING IS BEING DONE.

427
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,951
WHAT ABOUT COMEY, ADAM "SHIFTY"

428
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,953
SCHIFF, LETICIA?"

429
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,587
JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED NOW," ALL

430
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:01,954
CAPS.

431
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:06,458
NOW, THERE'VE BEEN REPORTS THAT

432
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,059
WAS ACTUALLY MEANT TO BE A DM

433
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:07,960
TO BONDI, BUT TRUMP ACCIDENTALLY

434
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,461
POSTED IT PUBLICLY INSTEAD.

435
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,964
WHICH SEEMS PLAUSIBLE TO ME.

436
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,966
NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE USE OF

437
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,968
"PAM" UP TOP BUT ALSO BECAUSE,

438
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,469
REMEMBER, TRUMP WAS BORN IN

439
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:23,475
1946.

440
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,109
IT'S FRANKLY A MIRACLE WE DON'T

441
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:24,676
SEE HIM ACCIDENTALLY POSTING

442
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,277
MORE THINGS HE THOUGHT HE WAS

443
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:25,978
TYPING PRIVATELY, LIKE, "TRUMP

444
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,980
APPROVAL RATING" OR "KRISTI NOEM

445
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:28,981
BATHING SUIT" OR "WHICH ONE WAS

446
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:32,985
LINDSEY GRAHAM?"

447
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,486
NOW, MANY OF THE CASES AND

448
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,487
INVESTIGATIONS I'VE MENTIONED SO

449
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,488
FAR HAVE SINCE FALLEN APART--

450
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,991
AND WHILE I'D LIST THEM FOR YOU,

451
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,493
IT'S A LOT MORE FUN WATCHING

452
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,995
THEM BEING RECITED DIRECTLY INTO

453
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,496
TODD BLANCHE'S FACE.

454
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,497
>> THE RECORD HAS BEEN-- HAS

455
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,499
BEEN TOUGH.

456
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,500
FOR BOTH COMEY AND JAMES, THE

457
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,501
INDICTMENTS GET DISMISSED.

458
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,003
THE INDICTMENT AGAINST

459
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,004
CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF THAT HE

460
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,505
CALLED FOR IT NEVER GETS OFF THE

461
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,506
GROUND.

462
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,008
THE PROBE INTO THOSE SIX

463
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,009
DEMOCRATIC LAWMAKERS, THE GRAND

464
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,511
JURY DECLINES TO INDICT.

465
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,013
A JUDGE IN D.C. TOSSES OUT A

466
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,514
SUBPOENA FOR FEDERAL RESERVE

467
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,017
CHAIR JEROME POWELL.

468
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:05,517
THAT'S BAD NEWS FOR THE

469
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:05,817
DEPARTMENT.

470
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:09,021
NO?

471
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,022
>> WELL, NOT-- NOT BAD NEWS FOR

472
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:10,522
THE DEPARTMENT.

473
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,089
IT MEANS THAT WE'RE WORKING

474
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,024
HARD.

475
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,526
LOOK, THOSE ARE DIFFICULT CASES.

476
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,028
THEY ARE DIFFICULT CASES, THE

477
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,529
ONES THAT YOU TALKED ABOUT, AND

478
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:21,533
SOME OF THEM ARE STILL ONGOING,

479
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,100
SO IT'S-- IT'S I'M NOT, I'M

480
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:22,734
DANCING AROUND THE CONVERSATION

481
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,036
A LITTLE BIT, BUT, BUT WE'RE NOT

482
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,038
GONNA RUN AWAY FROM HARD CASES,

483
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,039
EVEN IF THE MEDIA DOESN'T LIKE

484
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,040
IT.

485
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,041
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, NO ONE'S

486
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,043
ACCUSING YOU OF RUNNING AWAY;

487
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,044
THEY'RE ACCUSING YOU OF

488
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,046
"LOSING."

489
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,547
REST ASSURED, EVERYONE BELIEVES

490
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,548
YOU RAN COCK-FIRST AS HARD AS

491
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,549
YOU COULD STRAIGHT INTO A BRICK

492
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,551
WALL.

493
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,053
AND SECOND, I DIDN'T REALIZE THE

494
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,055
EXISTENCE OF REPEATED,

495
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,056
UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS WAS

496
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:50,062
ACTUALLY "GOOD" NEWS.

497
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:50,696
THAT'S HUGE FOR D.C. MOVIES, IF

498
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:51,063
TRUE!

499
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:51,630
AND THAT STRING OF FAILURES

500
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,065
BRINGS ME TO THE FACT THAT A LOT

501
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:53,665
OF PEOPLE THAT TRUMP'S BROUGHT

502
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,067
IN TO THE DOJ SEEM TO BE WELL

503
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:55,701
BELOW THE STANDARD YOU'D EXPECT

504
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:59,571
IN THEIR JOBS.

505
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,073
AND ONE KEY SIGN OF THIS IS THE

506
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,574
DOJ'S REPEATED FAILURE TO GET

507
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,077
GRAND JURY INDICTMENTS.

508
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:06,078
THAT'S OFTEN A FORMALITY IN OUR

509
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,079
LEGAL PROCESS-- BASICALLY, THE

510
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,581
GOVERNMENT GETS TO PRESENT ITS

511
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:10,182
EVIDENCE, WITHOUT ANY RESPONSE

512
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:10,749
FROM THE DEFENSE, AND GRAND

513
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,583
JURORS MERELY HAVE TO DECIDE

514
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,584
WHETHER THE GOVERNMENT'S PROVEN

515
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:17,089
THAT THERE'S "PROBABLE CAUSE"

516
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:17,689
THAT A SUSPECT HAS COMMITTED A

517
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,092
CRIME.

518
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:20,625
WHICH IS A VERY LOW BAR.

519
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,095
IN FACT, IT'S SO PRO FORMA,

520
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:23,695
THERE'S AN OLD SAYING THAT ANY

521
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,597
GOOD PROSECUTOR CAN GET A GRAND

522
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,099
JURY TO INDICT A HAM SANDWICH.

523
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,102
AND BEFORE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT

524
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:30,669
HOW FOLKSY THAT SOUNDS, YOU

525
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,236
SHOULD KNOW THE SANDWICH IN

526
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:31,870
QUESTION PULLED ITS DICK OUT IN

527
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,605
A MOVIE THEATER.

528
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,607
AND TO ANSWER THE ONE QUESTION I

529
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,609
KNOW YOU ALL HAVE: IT WAS

530
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,112
"DESPICABLE ME."

531
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,613
BUT INCREDIBLY, TRUMP'S DOJ HAS

532
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,116
FREQUENTLY BEEN UNABLE TO CLEAR

533
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,117
THAT VERY LOW BAR, WITH ONE

534
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,618
NOTABLE INSTANCE INVOLVING A

535
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,620
LITERAL SANDWICH.

536
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,122
YOU MAY REMEMBER LAST YEAR IN

537
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,623
D.C. WHEN A MAN THREW A SUB AT A

538
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,125
BORDER PATROL AGENT AND RAN

539
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,626
AWAY.

540
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,628
WELL, IN THE IMMEDIATE

541
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,130
AFTERMATH, JEANINE PIRRO BRAGGED

542
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:58,764
SHE WAS GOING TO THROW THE BOOK

543
00:14:58,765 --> 00:14:59,631
AT HIM.

544
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,633
>> HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.

545
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,634
WELL, HE DOESN'T THINK IT'S

546
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,136
FUNNY TODAY BECAUSE WE CHARGED

547
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:04,770
HIM WITH A FELONY-- ASSAULT ON

548
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,638
A POLICE OFFICER.

549
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,140
AND WE'RE GONNA BACK THE POLICE

550
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,642
TO THE HILT.

551
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,644
SO THERE, STICK YOUR SUBWAY

552
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:19,652
SANDWICH SOMEWHERE ELSE.

553
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:23,221
>> John: SO, FIRST, HE CAN'T

554
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:23,755
ACTUALLY STICK HIS SUBWAY

555
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,322
SANDWICH SOMEWHERE ELSE, HE

556
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:24,890
PRETTY FAMOUSLY THREW IT AT

557
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,660
SOMEONE.

558
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,664
SECOND, I'D ARGUE IT IS ACTUALLY

559
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,231
STILL FUNNY AND FINALLY, NO

560
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:33,865
NOTES ON THE PANTSUIT THERE, I

561
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:34,499
GENUINELY LIKE THAT YOU WENT TO

562
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,100
YOUR TAILOR AND ASKED TO LOOK

563
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:35,734
LIKE CRUELLA DEVILLE IF SHE GOT

564
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:39,171
AWAY WITH IT.

565
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,673
BUT AS FAR AS "BRINGING JUSTICE"

566
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:42,307
TO THE SANDWICH THROWER-- THAT

567
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,675
MAN APPARENTLY OFFERED TO TURN

568
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,676
HIMSELF IN AFTER PROSECUTORS

569
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,678
ISSUED A WARRANT, BUT INSTEAD,

570
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,679
THEY LAUNCHED A MILITARIZED,

571
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,680
20-PERSON OPERATION TO STORM HIS

572
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,682
APARTMENT.

573
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,184
AND THE WHITE HOUSE EVEN

574
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,685
RELEASED THIS DRAMATIC VIDEO OF

575
00:15:53,686 --> 00:16:00,192
THAT RAID.

576
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:00,692
♪ ♪

577
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:07,700
[HORN BLARING]

578
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,701
>> COMING DOWN.

579
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:16,709
♪ ♪

580
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:24,216
>> John: EVERY PART OF THAT IS

581
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:24,783
SO DUMB, INCLUDING THE TIME

582
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,218
STAMPS.

583
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,720
11:13 TO 11:21?

584
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,223
YOU'RE TELLING ME IT TOOK A SWAT

585
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,224
TEAM 8 MINUTES TO ARREST A GUY

586
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,226
WHOSE CRIME IS COMMITTED EVERY

587
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:37,229
DAY BY CHILDREN AT RECESS AND

588
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,230
WHO'D ALREADY TRIED TO TURN

589
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:44,236
HIMSELF IN?

590
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:44,736
AS FOR "WEST END, DC?"

591
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:45,370
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE THAT FEEL

592
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:45,737
GRITTY?

593
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:46,371
WHERE DID YOUR BIG SCARY MISSION

594
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:47,739
HAPPEN, DIPSHITS, SOMEWHERE

595
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,373
BETWEEN THE SPANISH EMBASSY AND

596
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,743
THE RITZ?

597
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,245
BUT THE FACT THEY MADE SUCH A

598
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,746
PRODUCTION OUT OF THAT MAN'S

599
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:55,747
ARREST IS WHAT MAKES IT SO

600
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:56,248
EMBARRASSING THAT, WHEN

601
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,749
PROSECUTORS EVENTUALLY SHOWED

602
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:04,756
THEIR EVIDENCE TO A GRAND JURY,

603
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:05,290
IT DECLINED TO INDICT HIM.

604
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:05,857
PIRRO ULTIMATELY SETTLED FOR

605
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:06,525
CHARGING HIM WITH A MISDEMEANOR,

606
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,158
BUT EVEN THEN, HE GOT ACQUITTED,

607
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,261
IN PART BECAUSE, WHILE THE AGENT

608
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,762
IN QUESTION TESTIFIED THAT "THE

609
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,264
SANDWICH KIND OF EXPLODED ALL

610
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,266
OVER," AND I COULD FEEL IT

611
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,268
THROUGH MY BALLISTIC VEST, AND

612
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,270
THAT HE "SMELLED THE ONIONS AND

613
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:22,274
THE MUSTARD," THE DEFENSE

614
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:22,874
POINTED TO VIDEO SHOWING THAT

615
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,276
THE SANDWICH HAD ACTUALLY STAYED

616
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:29,281
INTACT INSIDE ITS WRAPPER, WHICH

617
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,282
IS JUST INCREDIBLE.

618
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,783
I WISH I COULD'VE SEEN THAT

619
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:32,784
AGENT WALK INTO A BAR AFTER WORK

620
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,786
AND RESPOND TO "HOW WAS YOUR

621
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:35,787
DAY" WITH "NOT GREAT, TO BE

622
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,791
HONEST, I TOLD A JURY A SANDWICH

623
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,358
EXPLODED ON ME, BUT THEY HAD

624
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:40,792
VIDEO."

625
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,794
AND THAT'S BY NO MEANS THE ONLY

626
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:43,395
HIGH-PROFILE PROSECUTION THAT

627
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,296
FELL APART.

628
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,797
IN CHICAGO, AN ATTEMPT TO

629
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,300
PROSECUTE THE SO-CALLED

630
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,301
"BROADVIEW SIX"-- PROTESTORS

631
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:54,306
WHO'D BEEN ARRESTED OUTSIDE THE

632
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:54,940
BROADVIEW I.C.E. FACILITY-- WAS

633
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:55,540
WITHDRAWN AFTER MISCONDUCT BY

634
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:56,174
THE PROSECUTORS THERE, INCLUDING

635
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:56,808
THE FACT THEY'D SPOKEN TO GRAND

636
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:57,409
JURORS OUTSIDE THE GRAND JURY

637
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,811
ROOM.

638
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:00,378
WHAT'S MORE, AFTER INITIALLY

639
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,314
FAILING TO GET AN INDICTMENT,

640
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,816
THEY TRIED AGAIN, BUT STACKED

641
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:05,450
THE DECK BY REMOVING SOME JURORS

642
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:06,318
WHO'D PREVIOUSLY VOTED AGAINST

643
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,319
THEM.

644
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,320
WHICH IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

645
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,322
AND TRANSCRIPTS OF THAT

646
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,824
PROCEEDING WERE AN ABSOLUTE

647
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:13,825
EMBARRASSMENT.

648
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,827
>> CHECK OUT THIS EXCHANGE FROM

649
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,329
OCTOBER 16TH BETWEEN ASSISTANT

650
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,330
U.S. ATTORNEY SHERRY MECKLENBURG

651
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,832
AND A GRAND JUROR.

652
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,833
GRAND JUROR, QUOTE, "ARE YOU

653
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,834
ACTUALLY PRESENTING ANY NEW

654
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,836
ACTUAL FACTS OR JUST A DIFFERENT

655
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:25,837
VIEWPOINT ON YOUR SIDE?"

656
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,839
MS. MECKLENBURG, QUOTE, "OKAY,

657
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,840
I'M FEELING THE SKEPTICISM

658
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:29,841
ALREADY.

659
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,343
ARE YOU GOING TO BE ABLE TO

660
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:31,876
LISTEN WITH AN OPEN MIND?

661
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,845
TELL ME THE TRUTH."

662
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,347
GRAND JUROR, QUOTE, "I-- NO."

663
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,848
MS. MECKLENBURG, QUOTE, "OKAY,

664
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,350
THEN YOU HAVE TO GO."

665
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,352
GRAND JUROR, QUOTE, "I HEARD

666
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,853
THIS CASE LIKE LAST WEEK AND I

667
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,855
THOUGHT IT WAS A CROCK OF

668
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,357
EXPLETIVE THEN AND I STILL THINK

669
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:45,857
IT IS."

670
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,860
>> John: EXCELLENT.

671
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,362
I KNOW ONCE YOU DO JURY DUTY

672
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,364
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT OF THE

673
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:53,365
RUNNING FOR AWHILE, BUT I'D

674
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,367
ARGUE WE SHOULD HAVE THAT PERSON

675
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,369
ON ALL JURIES GOING FORWARD.

676
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,370
BECAUSE THEY'RE A NATURAL.

677
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,872
I GENUINELY WISH THEY'D BEEN

678
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:01,873
CALLED FOR THE ELIZABETH HOLMES

679
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,875
TRIAL, JUST SO WE'D HAVE A

680
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:07,879
TRANSCRIPT READING, JUROR,

681
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:08,880
QUOTE: "HOLY SHIT YOUR CLIENT IS

682
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,382
GUILTY AS FUCK, AND WHY DOES SHE

683
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:10,982
SOUND LIKE MIRA SORVINO AT THE

684
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,385
BOTTOM OF A WELL?"

685
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,386
AND LOOK, YOU MIGHT BE THINKING,

686
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,387
"WELL, THAT CASE WAS COMPLETELY

687
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:15,954
MERITLESS, I'M GLAD THE DOJ

688
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,889
FUCKED IT UP."

689
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,392
BUT FIRST, REMEMBER: FOR PEOPLE

690
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,393
CAUGHT UP IN THESE BULLSHIT

691
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:22,894
PROSECUTIONS, THEY'VE BEEN

692
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:23,428
SCARY, TIME-CONSUMING, AND

693
00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:26,898
COSTLY.

694
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:27,899
AND SECOND, THE DOJ'S

695
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:28,900
INCOMPETENCE UNFORTUNATELY ISN'T

696
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,402
LIMITED TO THESE CASES-- SOME

697
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,903
OF THEIR NEW HIRES HAVE FUCKED

698
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:32,904
UP CASES WHERE THE STAKES ARE

699
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,906
MUCH HIGHER.

700
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,408
IN WYOMING, TRUMP'S

701
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,409
NEWLY-APPOINTED PROSECUTOR-- A

702
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,410
MAN WHO'D, INCIDENTALLY, NEVER

703
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:41,413
BEFORE APPEARED IN COURT AS PART

704
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:41,913
OF A CRIMINAL OR CIVIL

705
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,416
PROCEEDING-- BEHAVED WILDLY

706
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,917
UNPROFESSIONALLY, INCLUDING AT

707
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,919
ONE POINT "HANDING OUT HIS

708
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,421
BUSINESS CARDS" TO MEMBERS OF

709
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,923
THE GRAND JURY AND INVITING THEM

710
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,925
TO REACH OUT TO HIM.

711
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,493
HIS CONDUCT WAS SO EGREGIOUS, A

712
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:57,996
COURT DISMISSED INDICTMENTS HE'D

713
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:58,563
GOTTEN AGAINST NINE CRIMINAL

714
00:19:58,564 --> 00:19:59,998
DEFENDANTS, INCLUDING ONES

715
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,434
FACING CHARGES FOR MURDER AND

716
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:02,967
REPEAT POSSESSION OF CHILD

717
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:03,935
PORNOGRAPHY.

718
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:04,936
AND WHILE A NEW GRAND JURY LATER

719
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,438
RECHARGED THOSE PARTICULAR

720
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:09,441
CASES, IT'S NOT GREAT THAT THIS

721
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,443
GUY'S SEEMINGLY LEARNING HOW

722
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,945
GRAND JURIES WORK ON THE JOB--

723
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:17,449
ESPECIALLY GIVEN HE'S STILL IN

724
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,450
CHARGE OF THAT FUCKING OFFICE.

725
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,451
AND THAT'S THE THING HERE: IN

726
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,952
NORMAL TIMES, THE DOJ DOES SOME

727
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,954
INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT WORK.

728
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,456
BUT SADLY, UNDER TRUMP, WHILE

729
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,458
POLITICAL PROSECUTIONS HAVE

730
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:27,959
RISEN, OTHER, GENUINELY

731
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:34,966
IMPORTANT ONES HAVE EITHER BEEN

732
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:35,600
MESSED UP OR JUST TOSSED ASIDE.

733
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:36,167
FOR ALL THE HEADLINES ABOUT

734
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:36,668
BULLSHIT CASES LIKE THE

735
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,970
REFLECTING POOL OR THE SANDWICH

736
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,472
MURDERER, THE REAL DECAY AT THE

737
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,973
DEPARTMENT HAS UNFORTUNATELY GOT

738
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:42,974
MUCH LESS ATTENTION.

739
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:43,975
WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

740
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:48,480
BECAUSE IT FEELS IMPORTANT TO

741
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,481
KNOW THAT NOT LONG AFTER BONDI

742
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:50,982
WAS APPOINTED, THE AGENCY BEGAN

743
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,484
SHUTTING DOWN MORE THAN 23,000

744
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,485
CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS,

745
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,986
CONCERNING THINGS LIKE

746
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,990
TERRORISM, WHITE-COLLAR CRIME,

747
00:20:58,991 --> 00:20:59,624
DRUGS, AND OTHER OFFENSES-- AND

748
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:00,191
INCLUDING EVERYTHING FROM A

749
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:00,759
VIRGINIA NURSING HOME WITH A

750
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,392
RECENT RECORD OF PATIENT ABUSE,

751
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:01,993
TO AN INVESTIGATION INTO A

752
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,495
CRYPTOCURRENCY COMPANY SUSPECTED

753
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,497
OF CHEATING INVESTORS.

754
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,499
BUT MAYBE THE GRIMMEST PICTURE

755
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,000
OF THE QUIET DAMAGE A

756
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:11,002
POLITICIZED DOJ CAN DO, CAN BE

757
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,003
SEEN BY LOOKING AT ITS CIVIL

758
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,505
RIGHTS DIVISION.

759
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,006
IT'S OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE

760
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:15,573
"CROWN JEWEL" OF THE JUSTICE

761
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:16,508
DEPARTMENT.

762
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,510
IT WAS CREATED BY CONGRESS

763
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,144
DURING THE CIVIL RIGHTS ERA, TO

764
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,513
ENSURE ALL THE NEW LAWS

765
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:22,113
PROHIBITING DISCRIMINATION IN

766
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,516
VOTING, EMPLOYMENT, AND SO ON

767
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,518
WERE ACTUALLY BEING ENFORCED.

768
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,521
UNFORTUNATELY, THAT MISSION'S

769
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:30,088
NOW BEEN TURNED ON ITS HEAD

770
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:30,622
UNDER ITS CURRENT LEADER,

771
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,523
HARMEET DHILLON.

772
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,525
YOU MAY REMEMBER WE SHOWED YOU A

773
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:34,526
CLIP OF HER EARLIER THIS YEAR,

774
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:35,527
TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE FINDS

775
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:38,029
CASES TO PURSUE ON SOCIAL MEDIA,

776
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:39,030
AND BY FOLLOWING ACCOUNTS LIKE

777
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,032
LIBS OF TIKTOK.

778
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,535
WELL, THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING

779
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:44,135
OF THE RED FLAGS WHEN IT COMES

780
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,036
TO PUTTING HER IN CHARGE OF

781
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,037
CIVIL RIGHTS.

782
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:50,542
>> SOMEONE ASKED ME WHAT I THINK

783
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,543
IS ONE OF THE-- OR THE MOST

784
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:52,544
CRITICAL CIVIL RIGHTS ISSUE OF

785
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,077
OUR TIME THAT'S ON A DAILY

786
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:54,546
BASIS.

787
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,047
AND I SAID I THINK IT IS-- IT'S

788
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,049
NOT EVEN IN THE BILL OF RIGHTS.

789
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,050
IT'S THE FACT THAT AMERICANS

790
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,552
FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE TO LIE EVERY

791
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:01,553
DAY TO GET THROUGH THE DAY.

792
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,555
THEY HAVE TO LIE ABOUT PRONOUNS.

793
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:06,057
THEY HAVE TO LIE ABOUT THE

794
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,559
PERSON IN THE CUBICLE NEXT TO

795
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,126
THEM BEING QUALIFIED IF THEY

796
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:09,561
AREN'T.

797
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:12,564
THEY HAVE TO PRETEND TO LAUGH AT

798
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:15,066
AND LIKE CERTAIN TYPES OF JOKES,

799
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,067
THE LATE-NIGHT COMEDIANS WHEN

800
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:21,072
THEY DON'T AGREE WITH THEM.

801
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:24,075
>> John: OKAY, OBVIOUSLY, IT'S

802
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,577
BONKERS TO BE CLAIMING THAT THE

803
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:27,078
BIGGEST ISSUES RIGHT NOW ARE

804
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:30,582
LYING ABOUT PRONOUNS, JOB

805
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,182
QUALIFICATIONS, AND LATE NIGHT

806
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:34,586
COMEDIANS, THOUGH-- FOR THE

807
00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:35,153
RECORD-- MY AUDIENCE IS NOT

808
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:35,753
"PRETENDING" TO FIND MY JOKES

809
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:36,354
FUNNY, THEY'RE SIMPLY LAUGHING

810
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:36,821
OUT OF AN ABUNDANCE OF

811
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:38,089
POLITENESS UNTIL I GET TO THE

812
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:38,656
SAD FACTS AND NUMBERS WE ALL

813
00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:42,093
KNOW THEY CAME TO SEE.

814
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:42,694
SPEAKING OF WHICH: HEY, GUYS!

815
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:43,595
ACCORDING TO THE CENTER FOR

816
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,597
BIOLOGICAL DIVERSITY, WITH AT

817
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,098
LEAST 51 WHALE DEATHS SO FAR

818
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,601
THIS YEAR, 2026 COULD RANK AMONG

819
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,168
THE DEADLIEST YEARS FOR WEST

820
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:57,176
COAST WHALES!

821
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:01,112
THEY LOVE FACTS!

822
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,113
BUT DHILLON'S LIST OF GRIEVANCES

823
00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:03,615
THERE IS BASICALLY A

824
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:04,215
BIZARRO-WORLD VERSION OF CIVIL

825
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:04,849
RIGHTS WHERE THE ONLY ONES THAT

826
00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:05,283
MATTER ARE THOSE OF

827
00:23:05,284 --> 00:23:06,618
CONSERVATIVES.

828
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:07,619
FOR EXAMPLE, HER DIVISION'S BEEN

829
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:11,122
AGGRESSIVELY LOOKING INTO

830
00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:12,123
SUPPOSED "VOTER FRAUD"-- SUING

831
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:12,757
D.C. AND THIRTY STATES TO OBTAIN

832
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:14,125
UNREDACTED VOTER ROLLS, TO FISH

833
00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:15,627
AROUND FOR OFFENDERS.

834
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:16,628
NOTABLY, THEIR RECORD TO DATE

835
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:23,636
WITH THOSE LAWSUITS IS FOCUSED

836
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:33,145
STRAIGHT LOSSES.

837
00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:34,212
AND LAUNCHED INVESTIGATIONS

838
00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:34,646
FOCUSED ON POTENTIAL

839
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:35,213
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WHITE

840
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:35,513
APPLICANTS.

841
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:36,047
AND AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S

842
00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:36,481
DROPPED LAWSUITS AND

843
00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:37,081
INVESTIGATIONS INTO ALL THESE

844
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:41,152
POLICE DEPARTMENTS, INCLUDING

845
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:41,786
THE PHOENIX P.D., WHERE THE DOJ

846
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:42,353
HAD PREVIOUSLY FOUND, AMONG

847
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:42,787
OTHER THINGS, SEVERE

848
00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:43,288
DISCRIMINATION, ROUTINE

849
00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:43,855
VIOLATIONS OF THE RIGHTS OF

850
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:44,455
HOMELESS PEOPLE, AND EXCESSIVE

851
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:44,789
USE OF FORCE.

852
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:45,423
AND GOOD LUCK EXPLAINING THAT.

853
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:45,890
"SORRY, GUYS, WE CAN'T

854
00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:46,491
INVESTIGATE POLICE MISCONDUCT!

855
00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:50,662
BRANTLEY COULDN'T GET INTO YALE,

856
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:51,195
SO WE HAD TO MAKE A WHOLE

857
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:53,665
FEDERAL CASE OUT OF IT.

858
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:56,167
HE'S DUMB AS SHIT, BUT HIS DAD'S

859
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:56,768
VERY SUCCESSFUL, AND THAT USED

860
00:23:56,769 --> 00:24:01,172
TO MEAN SOMETHING!"

861
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:02,173
BUT THAT IS NOT ALL.

862
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:02,674
BECAUSE THE CIVIL RIGHTS

863
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:03,675
DIVISION HAS ALSO STEPPED IN TO

864
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:09,681
UNDO SETTLEMENTS IT HAD REACHED

865
00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:10,315
WHILE BIDEN WAS IN OFFICE.

866
00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:10,882
ONE SUCH SETTLEMENT INVOLVED

867
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:11,449
LOWNDES COUNTY, ALABAMA-- A

868
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,016
HISTORICALLY UNDERRESOURCED,

869
00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:12,650
PRIMARILY BLACK AREA WHERE MANY

870
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,686
RESIDENTS HAVE NEVER HAD ACCESS

871
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:15,286
TO A MUNICIPAL WATER OR SEWAGE

872
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:19,691
SYSTEM.

873
00:24:19,692 --> 00:24:20,325
BEFORE BIDEN'S DOJ GOT INVOLVED,

874
00:24:20,326 --> 00:24:24,195
THINGS THERE WERE BAD-- AS THIS

875
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:25,196
2022 NEWS SEGMENT EXPLAINED.

876
00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:26,197
>> UNTREATED SEWAGE CAN LEAD TO

877
00:24:26,198 --> 00:24:27,699
BACTERIAL INFECTIONS AND

878
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,200
INTESTINAL PARASITES.

879
00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:29,734
THE ONLY SOLUTION IS A NEW

880
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:32,203
SYSTEM.

881
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,205
BUT THE HARD CLAY SOIL HERE

882
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:35,707
REQUIRES SPECIALLY DESIGNED

883
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,709
SEPTIC SYSTEMS THAT CAN COST AS

884
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,210
MUCH AS THE MEDIAN HOUSEHOLD

885
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,713
INCOME IN LOWNDES COUNTY.

886
00:24:41,714 --> 00:24:43,214
>> EVERY TIME IT RAINS,

887
00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:43,815
PEOPLE-- THEY KNOW WHAT MIGHT

888
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:45,216
HAPPEN.

889
00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:46,718
THEY KNOW THAT SEWAGE MAY SHOOT

890
00:24:46,719 --> 00:24:47,251
OUT AND COME BACK IN THEIR

891
00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:53,725
HOUSE.

892
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:54,258
>> John: RIGHT, AND THAT'S

893
00:24:54,259 --> 00:24:54,726
OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE.

894
00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:55,259
BECAUSE LET'S AGREE: UNDER

895
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:55,893
CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES, IT CAN BE

896
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:56,394
FUN WHEN WATER GOES UP.

897
00:24:56,395 --> 00:24:56,828
THINK OF FOUNTAINS.

898
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:57,729
OLD FAITHFUL.

899
00:24:57,730 --> 00:24:58,730
A WHALE SPOUTING.

900
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:00,732
MAGNIFICENT.

901
00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:01,733
BUT NOW, IMAGINE IF THAT SPRAY

902
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:08,740
WAS COMING OUT OF A DIFFERENT

903
00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:13,244
YOU'D BE PRETTY PISSED OFF.

904
00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:13,711
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

905
00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:14,278
AND WHAT MADE THAT SITUATION

906
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:14,779
EVEN WORSE WAS THE FACT

907
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:15,747
HOMEOWNERS THERE COULD FACE

908
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:16,748
CRIMINAL CHARGES, FINES, OR JAIL

909
00:25:16,749 --> 00:25:17,348
TIME FOR FAILING TO INSTALL A

910
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:17,915
SEPTIC SYSTEM, EVEN IF THEY

911
00:25:17,916 --> 00:25:22,253
COULDN'T AFFORD TO.

912
00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:22,854
THANKFULLY, IN 2023, THE CIVIL

913
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:23,755
RIGHTS DIVISION REACHED AN

914
00:25:23,756 --> 00:25:24,756
AGREEMENT THAT NOT ONLY STOPPED

915
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:26,257
THE STATE FROM LEVELING FINES

916
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:29,260
AND OTHER PENALTIES AGAINST

917
00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:29,894
RESIDENTS THERE, IT ENSURED THE

918
00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:31,763
STATE WOULD BE AN ACTIVE

919
00:25:31,764 --> 00:25:32,397
PARTICIPANT IN THE SOLUTION, BY

920
00:25:32,398 --> 00:25:34,265
HELPING TO FIND WAYS TO PAY FOR

921
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:34,766
NEW SEPTIC SYSTEMS.

922
00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:37,268
WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY GOOD!

923
00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:39,270
A LONG-STANDING PROBLEM GOT SOME

924
00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:41,272
TRACTION TOWARD A SOLUTION WHEN

925
00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:45,276
THE DOJ STEPPED IN.

926
00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:46,277
BUT AS SOON AS HARMEET DHILLON

927
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,780
TOOK OVER, SHE TERMINATED THAT

928
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:49,781
AGREEMENT, STATING, THE DOJ WILL

929
00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:53,284
NO LONGER PUSH 'ENVIRONMENTAL

930
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:53,851
JUSTICE' AS VIEWED THROUGH A

931
00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:58,289
DISTORTING, DEI LENS."

932
00:25:58,290 --> 00:25:58,790
AND JUST LISTEN TO LOCAL

933
00:25:58,791 --> 00:25:59,791
ACTIVISTS-- WHO'D WORKED

934
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:00,425
INCREDIBLY HARD TO BRING SEPTIC

935
00:26:00,426 --> 00:26:00,925
SYSTEMS TO THEIR AREA--

936
00:26:00,926 --> 00:26:05,797
REACTING TO THAT ARGUMENT.

937
00:26:05,798 --> 00:26:08,299
>> WHEN WE STARTED DOING THIS

938
00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:08,933
WORK, PEOPLE WEREN'T EVEN SAYING

939
00:26:08,934 --> 00:26:09,367
ANYTHING ABOUT DEI.

940
00:26:09,368 --> 00:26:09,967
WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT DEI WAS.

941
00:26:09,968 --> 00:26:10,601
>> IS FIXING WASTEWATER IN THIS

942
00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:16,307
PART OF ALABAMA DEI?

943
00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:18,810
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

944
00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:19,444
I MEAN, I DON'T CARE WHO APPLIES

945
00:26:19,445 --> 00:26:22,313
FOR THE PROGRAM

946
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:22,814
>> John: RIGHT.

947
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:23,381
AND HONESTLY, EVEN HAVING TO

948
00:26:23,382 --> 00:26:26,818
ANSWER, "ARE SEPTIC TANKS DEI?"

949
00:26:26,819 --> 00:26:28,820
IS PRETTY INSULTING.

950
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:30,321
IT'S ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS THAT

951
00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:31,322
SHOULD REALLY BE LAUGHABLE ON

952
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:34,325
ITS FACE, BUT WILL NOW ALMOST

953
00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:36,828
INEVITABLY ONE DAY BE THE LEAD

954
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,329
CHYRON ON FOX NEWS, ALONGSIDE

955
00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:38,896
OTHER QUESTIONS LIKE, "HAVE

956
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:40,832
MUSEUMS GOTTEN TOO GAY?"

957
00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:43,334
OR "ARE BUTTERFLIES TRANS?"

958
00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:47,338
OR "CAN WOMEN JUST STOP?"

959
00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:49,841
AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING THE DOJ

960
00:26:49,842 --> 00:26:50,842
DOESN'T HAVE ITS FLAWS-- WE'VE

961
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:53,344
TALKED MULTIPLE TIMES ABOUT THE

962
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:54,846
PROBLEMS WITH PROSECUTORS, AND

963
00:26:54,847 --> 00:26:55,847
THE LAWS THEY'RE CALLED UPON TO

964
00:26:55,848 --> 00:26:56,347
ENFORCE.

965
00:26:56,348 --> 00:27:00,351
BUT IT CAN, AND SHOULD, ALSO BE

966
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:00,918
A FORCE FOR RIGHTING WRONGS.

967
00:27:00,919 --> 00:27:03,354
UNFORTUNATELY, IN TRUMP'S SECOND

968
00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:03,921
TERM, IT'S BECOME AN AGENCY

969
00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:06,357
WHERE A LOT OF NEWLY-HIRED

970
00:27:06,358 --> 00:27:06,924
DIPSHITS ARE RUNNING AROUND

971
00:27:06,925 --> 00:27:09,861
PURSUING HIS VENDETTAS, WHILE

972
00:27:09,862 --> 00:27:12,864
ACTIVELY UNDERMINING ANYTHING

973
00:27:12,865 --> 00:27:13,498
THAT COULD ACTUALLY HELP PEOPLE.

974
00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:14,866
AND THE INSTITUTIONAL DAMAGE

975
00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:15,333
HERE HAS ALREADY BEEN

976
00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:16,100
CONSIDERABLE.

977
00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:16,868
JUDGES HAVE APPARENTLY BEGUN

978
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:23,876
QUESTIONING THE SO-CALLED THE

979
00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:32,884
PRESUMPTION OF REGULARITY.

980
00:27:32,885 --> 00:27:33,484
THE POTENTIAL LONG-TERM DAMAGE

981
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,085
HERE IS HONESTLY DIFFICULT TO

982
00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:34,652
SUM UP, BUT THIS FORMER DOJ

983
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:35,186
LAWYER COMES PRETTY CLOSE.

984
00:27:35,187 --> 00:27:35,820
>> THE THING IS, AS PROSECUTORS,

985
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:36,420
WE HAVE AN ETHICAL OBLIGATION

986
00:27:36,421 --> 00:27:36,988
THAT'S HIGHER THAN ANY OTHER

987
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:41,893
ATTORNEY.

988
00:27:41,894 --> 00:27:42,527
BECAUSE WHAT A PROSECUTOR CAN DO

989
00:27:42,528 --> 00:27:43,161
IS, WE CAN TAKE AWAY SOMEBODY'S

990
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,396
LIBERTY.

991
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:45,930
AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS,

992
00:27:45,931 --> 00:27:47,398
THEY'RE DRIVING OUT PEOPLE THAT

993
00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:50,902
ARE WILLING TO FOLLOW THE LAW.

994
00:27:50,903 --> 00:27:54,405
AND THAT'S TERRIFYING, BECAUSE

995
00:27:54,406 --> 00:27:57,408
OUR DEMOCRACY FALLS APART IF

996
00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:59,911
THERE'S NOT SOME SORT OF LAW AND

997
00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:00,511
ORDER THAT GOES ALONG WITH IT.

998
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:01,913
>> John: RIGHT.

999
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:02,914
WE NEED PROSECUTORS AT THE DOJ

1000
00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:04,916
WHO ACTUALLY VALUE UPHOLDING THE

1001
00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:05,550
LAW, AND IT FEELS INSANE TO EVEN

1002
00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:10,922
SAY THAT OUT LOUD.

1003
00:28:10,923 --> 00:28:11,923
IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT

1004
00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:12,924
SHOULD BE A GIVEN LIKE "WE NEED

1005
00:28:12,925 --> 00:28:14,425
TEACHERS WHO KNOW HOW TO READ,"

1006
00:28:14,426 --> 00:28:15,927
OR "WE NEED BARBERS WHO USE

1007
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:16,460
SCISSORS, INSTEAD OF THEIR

1008
00:28:16,461 --> 00:28:17,929
TEETH."

1009
00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:19,997
WE'RE IN A DANGEROUS PLACE IF

1010
00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:21,933
THIS IS EVEN A FUCKING

1011
00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:22,934
DISCUSSION.

1012
00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:24,435
AND LOOK, THE HARD TRUTH IS THAT

1013
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:25,436
A LOT OF THE DAMAGE I'VE

1014
00:28:25,437 --> 00:28:26,938
DISCUSSED TONIGHT PROBABLY WON'T

1015
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:28,439
BE POSSIBLE TO UNDO UNTIL TRUMP

1016
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:29,440
LEAVES OFFICE.

1017
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:30,942
AND AT THAT POINT, THERE'LL

1018
00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:31,943
CLEARLY BE A TON OF WORK TO BE

1019
00:28:31,944 --> 00:28:33,444
DONE-- STARTING WITH RE-HIRING

1020
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,947
THE COMPETENT LAWYERS WHO'VE

1021
00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:37,949
LEFT OR BEEN PUSHED OUT.

1022
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:39,951
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, IT'S WORTH

1023
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:46,959
REMEMBERING THAT-- AS BLEAK AS

1024
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:48,459
THIS STORY IS, AND I KNOW IT IS

1025
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:49,060
BLEAK-- SO FAR, THANKFULLY, A

1026
00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:49,660
LOT OF THE SYSTEM'S GUARDRAILS

1027
00:28:49,661 --> 00:28:50,127
HAVE ACTUALLY HELD UP.

1028
00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:50,761
WHEN JEANINE PIRRO "FOLDED LIKE

1029
00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:51,229
AN UMBRELLA" OVER THAT

1030
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,964
REFLECTING POOL CASE, I'M

1031
00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:53,564
GUESSING IT WASN'T OUT OF ANY

1032
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,065
SENSE OF PERSONAL SHAME.

1033
00:28:54,066 --> 00:29:00,471
YOU'VE SEEN HOW SHE DRESSES.

1034
00:29:00,472 --> 00:29:01,973
MORE LIKELY IT WAS, AS SOME

1035
00:29:01,974 --> 00:29:03,474
FORMER PROSECUTORS HAVE ARGUED,

1036
00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:05,476
FEAR OF GETTING SANCTIONED-- AS

1037
00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:05,977
ONE HAS SAID, "THE D.C.

1038
00:29:05,978 --> 00:29:07,979
FEDERAL BENCH HAS NOT BEEN

1039
00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:08,613
RETICENT IN HOLDING PROSECUTORS

1040
00:29:08,614 --> 00:29:08,980
ACCOUNTABLE."

1041
00:29:08,981 --> 00:29:10,982
WHICH IS GOOD!

1042
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:12,984
ALSO, YOU'VE SEEN JUDGES THROW

1043
00:29:12,985 --> 00:29:14,485
OUT SOME OF THE MOST EGREGIOUS

1044
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:15,486
CASES, AND GRAND JURIES DECLINE

1045
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,988
TO BRING CHARGES.

1046
00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:17,989
AND IT'S GOING TO BE IMPORTANT

1047
00:29:17,990 --> 00:29:19,490
FOR THAT TO KEEP HAPPENING--

1048
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:21,492
EVEN AS TRUMP CONTINUES TO STOCK

1049
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:22,059
THE FEDERAL BENCH WITH UTTER

1050
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:23,494
MANIACS.

1051
00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:25,997
IN FACT, THERE'S A REAL ARGUMENT

1052
00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:27,999
NOW, EVEN MORE SO THAN USUAL,

1053
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:33,504
THAT IF YOU GET CALLED TO SERVE

1054
00:29:33,505 --> 00:29:34,105
ON A JURY OR GRAND JURY, THAT

1055
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:34,505
YOU DO IT.

1056
00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:35,106
AND I KNOW THAT THAT CAN BE A

1057
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,508
TOUGH SELL.

1058
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:38,142
NOT EVERYONE'S THRILLED WITH THE

1059
00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:40,011
IDEA OF JURY SERVICE.

1060
00:29:40,012 --> 00:29:43,014
BUT I WILL REMIND YOU, THERE ARE

1061
00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:44,015
REAL UPSIDES.

1062
00:29:44,016 --> 00:29:45,516
THEY GIVE YOU A SMALL STIPEND,

1063
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:49,020
YOU GET A SENSE OF CIVIC PRIDE,

1064
00:29:49,021 --> 00:29:49,620
AND FINALLY, IF YOU'RE LUCKY,

1065
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,254
YOU MIGHT END UP ON THE NEWS FOR

1066
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,023
TELLING A LAZY GOVERNMENT

1067
00:29:52,024 --> 00:29:53,524
PROSECUTOR THAT THEIR CASE IS A

1068
00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:54,025
COMPLETE CROCK OF SHIT.

1069
00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:59,096
AND NOW THIS.

1070
00:29:59,097 --> 00:30:03,534
>> Announcer: AND NOW,

1071
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:10,041
PEOPLE ON TV HANDLE NATIONAL

1072
00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:11,609
GRAB SOME NUTS DAY EXACTLY HOW

1073
00:30:11,610 --> 00:30:14,045
YOU EXPECT.

1074
00:30:14,046 --> 00:30:16,147
>> IT IS NATIONAL GRAB SOME NUTS

1075
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:21,052
DAY AND I WOULD REACH FOR SOME.

1076
00:30:21,053 --> 00:30:22,053
>> SORRY.

1077
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:23,554
I LOOKED AT CRYSTAL.

1078
00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:26,057
I LOST IT.

1079
00:30:26,058 --> 00:30:27,058
>> CHRISTMAS AND YOUR BIRTHDAY

1080
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:28,659
ALL AT ONCE.

1081
00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:31,062
IT'S THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR,

1082
00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:32,563
IT IS NATIONAL GRAB SOME NUTS.

1083
00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,166
>> IT IS NATIONAL GRAB SOME NUTS

1084
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:39,070
SO ENJOY YOUR MIXED ONES TODAY.

1085
00:30:39,071 --> 00:30:41,072
>> OKAY.

1086
00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:42,473
>> SO IT'S NATIONAL GRAB SOME

1087
00:30:42,474 --> 00:30:45,576
NUTS DAY.

1088
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:48,079
>> EXACTLY.

1089
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:49,580
>> CAN WE READ AT A FOURTH GRADE

1090
00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:50,581
LEVEL TODAY?

1091
00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:53,584
>> IT IS GRAB SOME NUTS DAY.

1092
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:56,087
A HANDFUL OF.

1093
00:30:56,088 --> 00:30:57,588
>> PEANUTS.

1094
00:30:57,589 --> 00:30:57,822
SNACKS.

1095
00:30:57,823 --> 00:30:59,090
>> THERE YOU GO.

1096
00:30:59,091 --> 00:31:03,594
IT'S A BIG DAY.

1097
00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:04,595
>> SNACKS.

1098
00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:06,097
♪ ♪

1099
00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:07,098
>> John: MOVING ON.

1100
00:31:07,099 --> 00:31:07,732
FINALLY TONIGHT, A QUICK UPDATE

1101
00:31:07,733 --> 00:31:08,065
ABOUT BUC-EES.

1102
00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:08,666
YOU MAY REMEMBER, A COUPLE OF

1103
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:09,300
WEEKS AGO, WE TALKED ABOUT THEIR

1104
00:31:09,301 --> 00:31:11,102
HABIT OF SUING BUSINESSES FOR

1105
00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,603
TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT, GOING

1106
00:31:12,604 --> 00:31:14,605
AFTER EVERYONE FROM A CARTOON

1107
00:31:14,606 --> 00:31:17,108
MOOSE TO A KOALA BEAR TO AN

1108
00:31:17,109 --> 00:31:17,675
ALLIGATOR THAT LOOKS NOTHING

1109
00:31:17,676 --> 00:31:23,614
LIKE A BEAVER, BUT A LOT LIKE IT

1110
00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:24,181
WAS IN D.C. ON JANUARY 6TH.

1111
00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:24,782
IN RESPONSE, WE SET UP OUR OWN

1112
00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:25,416
STORE SELLING BRANDED "BUC-OFF"

1113
00:31:25,417 --> 00:31:27,618
MERCHANDISE.

1114
00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:29,120
NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS WE'VE

1115
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:30,121
RAISED ALMOST HALF A MILLION

1116
00:31:30,122 --> 00:31:30,755
DOLLARS FOR HUNGER FREE AMERICA

1117
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:34,125
SO FAR.

1118
00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:35,226
THE BAD NEWS IS, IT DOESN'T SEEM

1119
00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:36,127
BUC-EES GOT THE MESSAGE, BECAUSE

1120
00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:37,628
APPARENTLY, THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN.

1121
00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:39,130
>> BUC-EE'S IS IN THE SPOTLIGHT

1122
00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:41,132
AGAIN, SUING LOCAL SHOP BEAVER

1123
00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,633
MINI MART, CLAIMING THE

1124
00:31:42,634 --> 00:31:44,135
BEAVERCREEK BUSINESS USED A NAME

1125
00:31:44,136 --> 00:31:46,137
AND LOGO TOO SIMILAR TO THE

1126
00:31:46,138 --> 00:31:46,704
COMPANY'S WELL-KNOWN BEAVER

1127
00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:47,638
BRANDING.

1128
00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,140
ACCORDING TO COMPLAINTS, THE

1129
00:31:49,141 --> 00:31:50,141
MART'S DRAWINGS SHARE

1130
00:31:50,142 --> 00:31:52,143
SIMILARITIES TO THE BUC-EE'S

1131
00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:53,644
MASCOT, INCLUDING WIDE EYES, A

1132
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:55,146
SMILE, AND RED AS THE

1133
00:31:55,147 --> 00:31:55,646
PREDOMINANT COLOR.

1134
00:31:55,647 --> 00:31:57,148
>> John: YEP, TURNS OUT, THEY'RE

1135
00:31:57,149 --> 00:32:04,156
STILL FILING LAWSUITS!

1136
00:32:05,657 --> 00:32:06,657
YOU MIGHT BE TRYING TO NAME THE

1137
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:07,658
BUC-EE'S BEAVER MITCH MCCONNELL,

1138
00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:08,292
BECAUSE IT SEEMS THIS BITCH WILL

1139
00:32:08,293 --> 00:32:08,659
NOT QUIT.

1140
00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:09,226
ALSO, THOSE CARTOON BEAVERS

1141
00:32:09,227 --> 00:32:09,860
CLEARLY LOOK NOTHING LIKE EACH

1142
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:10,060
OTHER.

1143
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:10,694
TO PICK ONE OBVIOUS DIFFERENCE:

1144
00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:12,663
THE BUC-EE'S LOGO WEARS A HAT

1145
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:15,166
WHILE THE MINIMART BEAVER'S

1146
00:32:15,167 --> 00:32:16,167
STILL IN AN EDEN-LIKE STATE OF

1147
00:32:16,168 --> 00:32:18,169
INNOCENCE WHERE HE KNOWS NOT

1148
00:32:18,170 --> 00:32:18,769
THAT HE IS NAKED NOR TO COVER

1149
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:23,174
HIS OWN NAKEDNESS.

1150
00:32:23,175 --> 00:32:24,175
I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN SPOT WHEN A

1151
00:32:24,176 --> 00:32:25,676
BEAVER IS BORN WITH ORIGINAL

1152
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:26,677
SIN, AND BINGO, BUDDY.

1153
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:27,178
IT YOU!

1154
00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:28,679
THE DETAILS OF THIS LATEST CASE

1155
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:29,680
ARE JUST INCREDIBLE.

1156
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:30,681
BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT, THE MINI

1157
00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:33,184
MART HAS BEEN GOING BY THAT NAME

1158
00:32:33,185 --> 00:32:35,186
SINCE AT LEAST 2019, WHILE

1159
00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:36,687
BUC-EES HAS ONLY BEEN IN THE

1160
00:32:36,688 --> 00:32:39,690
STATE OF OHIO SINCE APRIL.

1161
00:32:39,691 --> 00:32:41,692
ALSO, ITS NEW LOCATION THERE IS

1162
00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,194
74,000 SQUARE FEET AND FEATURES

1163
00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,196
BRISKET, JERKY, BEAVER NUGGETS,

1164
00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:47,198
AND MORE THAN 100 GAS PUMPS,

1165
00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:48,699
WHEREAS BEAVER MINI MART IS A

1166
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:49,700
LOCAL CORNER STORE THAT SELLS

1167
00:32:49,701 --> 00:32:51,202
LOTTERY TICKETS, HAS "NO GAS

1168
00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:51,802
PUMPS" AND IS "MILES FROM THE

1169
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:54,705
NEAREST INTERSTATE."

1170
00:32:54,706 --> 00:32:55,306
IN FACT, HERE'S WHAT THEY LOOK

1171
00:32:55,307 --> 00:32:56,707
LIKE SIDE-BY-SIDE.

1172
00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:58,709
THAT MINI MART LOOKS LIKE

1173
00:32:58,710 --> 00:32:59,710
SOMETHING THEY'D SELL INSIDE OF

1174
00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:01,712
A BUC-EE'S.

1175
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,214
AND YET, BUC-EE'S ALLEGES THAT

1176
00:33:03,215 --> 00:33:05,716
ITS NAME AND BEAVER LOGO ARE

1177
00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:06,350
"LIKELY TO CAUSE CONFUSION AMONG

1178
00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:07,218
CONSUMERS."

1179
00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:10,221
BUT HOW?

1180
00:33:10,222 --> 00:33:11,722
THERE'S NO WAY ANYONE'S

1181
00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:13,224
CONFUSING THEIR LOCAL

1182
00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:20,232
CONVENIENCE STORE WITH A

1183
00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:24,235
GASOLINE VALHALLA 20 MINUTES

1184
00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:24,735
AWAY BY CAR.

1185
00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:25,236
AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT,

1186
00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:25,736
REMEMBER: THE MINIMART'S

1187
00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:26,303
LITERALLY IN A PLACE CALLED

1188
00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:29,240
BEAVERCREEK.

1189
00:33:29,241 --> 00:33:29,773
SO IT'S FRANKLY NO WONDER

1190
00:33:29,774 --> 00:33:30,741
RESIDENTS THERE ARE PISSED.

1191
00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:31,242
>> WE'RE THE CITY OF

1192
00:33:31,243 --> 00:33:31,542
BEAVERCREEK.

1193
00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:32,276
THERE'S BEAVERS EVERYWHERE.

1194
00:33:32,277 --> 00:33:32,843
>> I THINK THE LAWSUIT IS SO

1195
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,245
DUMB.

1196
00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:36,247
>> THERE WAS A CONSTANT STREAM

1197
00:33:36,248 --> 00:33:37,748
OF CUSTOMERS AT BEAVER'S MINI

1198
00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:38,382
MART TODAY, MANY WITH A SIMILAR

1199
00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:39,750
PURPOSE.

1200
00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:40,751
>> IT MADE ME WANT TO COME

1201
00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:43,754
SUPPORT THEM AND JUST HELP OUT A

1202
00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:44,755
LOCAL BUSINESS THAT IS BEING

1203
00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:46,257
WHAT REALLY FEELS LIKE BULLIED

1204
00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:47,258
BY A BIG CORPORATION.

1205
00:33:47,259 --> 00:33:49,260
READING INTO IT MORE THAT

1206
00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:50,761
BUC-EE'S HAS GONE AFTER OTHER

1207
00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:53,264
COMPANIES OVER THIS, IT JUST PUT

1208
00:33:53,265 --> 00:33:54,265
A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH BECAUSE

1209
00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:56,267
THEY JUST SEEM LIKE SUCH A FUN

1210
00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:57,268
COMPANY, AND TO SEE THIS, THAT

1211
00:33:57,269 --> 00:33:58,769
THEY'RE COMING AFTER A SMALL

1212
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:00,271
BUSINESS LIKE THIS, IT JUST--

1213
00:34:00,272 --> 00:34:01,272
IT UPSET ME LIKE IT DID A LOT OF

1214
00:34:01,273 --> 00:34:01,772
BEAVERCREEK RESIDENTS.

1215
00:34:01,773 --> 00:34:02,273
>> John: YEAH.

1216
00:34:02,274 --> 00:34:03,274
I BET IT DID.

1217
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:04,775
BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THAT MAN

1218
00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:06,277
SEEMS EVEN-KEELED, THAT'S AS

1219
00:34:06,278 --> 00:34:08,279
UPSET AS SOMEONE FROM THE

1220
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,280
MIDWEST GETS.

1221
00:34:09,281 --> 00:34:11,782
HE'S POLITELY EXPRESSING

1222
00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:13,284
DISAPPOINTMENT, GENTLY SHAKING

1223
00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:15,286
HIS HEAD, AND WEARING THE OHIO

1224
00:34:15,287 --> 00:34:17,288
VERSION OF WAR PAINT, WHICH IS A

1225
00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:17,821
TUCKED-IN CLEVELAND BROWNS

1226
00:34:17,822 --> 00:34:19,790
LANYARD.

1227
00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:21,292
THAT'S THE NEW YORK EQUIVALENT

1228
00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:23,794
OF SETTING A POLICE CAR ON FIRE.

1229
00:34:23,795 --> 00:34:24,795
BUC-EE'S LAWSUIT IS

1230
00:34:24,796 --> 00:34:26,297
CHARACTERISTICALLY AGGRESSIVE.

1231
00:34:26,298 --> 00:34:27,798
AMONG ITS DEMANDS ARE THAT THE

1232
00:34:27,799 --> 00:34:29,300
MINI-MART "DESTROY ALL SIGNAGE

1233
00:34:29,301 --> 00:34:30,801
AND ANY OTHER MATERIALS" WITH

1234
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:32,803
ITS NAME OR LOGO, AND "FILE A

1235
00:34:32,804 --> 00:34:34,305
REPORT IN WRITING SETTING FORTH

1236
00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:36,307
IN DETAIL THE MANNER AND FORM IN

1237
00:34:36,308 --> 00:34:38,809
WHICH" IT DID SO.

1238
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:40,311
WHICH FEELS WILDLY OVER-THE-TOP.

1239
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:41,812
"DESCRIBE IN WRITING HOW YOU

1240
00:34:41,813 --> 00:34:44,315
DESTROYED YOUR MASCOT" IS ONE

1241
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:45,316
STEP AWAY FROM SAYING "SEND US

1242
00:34:45,317 --> 00:34:45,950
THE SEVERED HEAD OF YOUR BEAVER

1243
00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:48,819
OR ELSE."

1244
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:53,824
AND AS MANY BEAVERCREEK

1245
00:34:53,825 --> 00:34:54,425
RESIDENTS HAVE POINTED OUT, IF

1246
00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:55,826
THE MINI-MART CAN'T USE A BEAVER

1247
00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:56,393
IN ITS LOGO, THIS COULD BE A

1248
00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:56,760
SLIPPERY SLOPE.

1249
00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:57,828
BECAUSE THEY'VE UNDERSTANDABLY

1250
00:34:57,829 --> 00:35:00,331
GOT A BUNCH OF BEAVER-THEMED

1251
00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:02,333
STUFF THERE, FROM BEAVERCREEK

1252
00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:04,335
PIZZA DIVE, TO THE BOWLING ALLEY

1253
00:35:04,336 --> 00:35:05,336
BEAVER-VU-BOWL.

1254
00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:06,837
THE TOWN'S ANNUAL POPCORN

1255
00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:09,340
FESTIVAL HAS A BEAVER MASCOT, AS

1256
00:35:09,341 --> 00:35:10,841
DOES BEAVERCREEK HIGH SCHOOL,

1257
00:35:10,842 --> 00:35:11,475
WHOSE MASCOT IS LITERALLY NAMED

1258
00:35:11,476 --> 00:35:14,845
"BUCKY THE BEAVER."

1259
00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:21,853
AND HE'S BEEN AROUND FOR

1260
00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:22,953
DECADES BY THE WAY, AS YOU CAN

1261
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:23,554
SEE FROM THIS ALMOST CERTAINLY

1262
00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:23,887
HAUNTED PHOTO.

1263
00:35:23,888 --> 00:35:24,521
PLEASE SAY YOU CAN SEE HIM TOO.

1264
00:35:24,522 --> 00:35:25,356
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE THE

1265
00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:28,359
ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE HIM.

1266
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:29,360
BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE THE ONLY

1267
00:35:29,361 --> 00:35:30,361
PHOTO THEY SHOW IN A TRUE CRIME

1268
00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:30,894
DOCUMENTARY OF THE SERIAL

1269
00:35:30,895 --> 00:35:33,864
KILLER.

1270
00:35:33,865 --> 00:35:36,367
THEY EVEN HAVE FIBERGLASS

1271
00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:36,934
BEAVERS ALL OVER TOWN, WITH

1272
00:35:36,935 --> 00:35:38,369
VARIOUS THEMES, INCLUDING A

1273
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,370
DOCTOR BEAVER, AN AIR FORCE

1274
00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:41,872
BEAVER, A DISCO BEAVER, AND--

1275
00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:42,873
APPROPRIATELY FOR THIS STORY--

1276
00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:45,876
A "LADY JUSTICE BEAVER."

1277
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,379
SHE AND THE DISCO BEAVER ARE

1278
00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:49,013
HOOKING UP, BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR

1279
00:35:49,014 --> 00:35:50,881
THAT FROM ME.

1280
00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:51,448
NOW, THANKFULLY, OTHER LOCAL

1281
00:35:51,449 --> 00:35:52,016
BUSINESSES HAVE BEEN SHOWING

1282
00:35:52,017 --> 00:35:54,885
SUPPORT.

1283
00:35:54,886 --> 00:35:56,387
RABBIT HOLE BOOKS POSTED A NEW

1284
00:35:56,388 --> 00:35:57,888
VERSION OF THEIR LOGO WITH A

1285
00:35:57,889 --> 00:35:58,889
BEAVER IN IT, WITH A CAPTION

1286
00:35:58,890 --> 00:35:59,890
READING, "COME AND GET US,

1287
00:35:59,891 --> 00:36:01,892
BUC-EES.

1288
00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:03,394
YOU DON'T OWN EVERY BEAVER."

1289
00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:08,399
WHICH IS UNDENIABLY TRUE.

1290
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:08,866
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1291
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:09,466
AND THEY WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES

1292
00:36:09,467 --> 00:36:09,967
TEMPORARILY REBRANDING.

1293
00:36:09,968 --> 00:36:10,567
>> DOZENS OF LOCAL BUSINESSES

1294
00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:11,902
ALL OVER BEAVERCREEK IN THE

1295
00:36:11,903 --> 00:36:12,903
DAYTON REGION, SHOWING THEIR

1296
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:14,405
SOLIDARITY WITH BEAVER'S MINI

1297
00:36:14,406 --> 00:36:14,905
MART BY ADDING SOME

1298
00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:17,908
BEAVER-INSPIRED DESIGNS.

1299
00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:18,909
BLUE BERRY CAFE IS ONE OF THE

1300
00:36:18,910 --> 00:36:19,910
BUSINESSES WHO POKED A LITTLE

1301
00:36:19,911 --> 00:36:21,912
FUN AT THE WHOLE SITUATION BY

1302
00:36:21,913 --> 00:36:23,914
JOKINGLY CHANGING THEIR LOGO TO

1303
00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:24,915
A BLUEBERRY BEAVER.

1304
00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:25,416
>> John: EXCELLENT.

1305
00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:27,418
AND WHILE I DON'T LOVE THE

1306
00:36:27,419 --> 00:36:28,919
OBVIOUS ANSWER TO THE QUESTION

1307
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,421
"HOW DID ALL THOSE BUSINESSES

1308
00:36:30,422 --> 00:36:30,988
COME UP WITH BEAVER LOGOS SO

1309
00:36:30,989 --> 00:36:33,424
FAST?"

1310
00:36:33,425 --> 00:36:35,926
I DO LOVE THAT THEY'VE CLEARLY

1311
00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:38,929
GONE FULL "I AM SPARTACUS" ON A

1312
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:41,432
RODENT THEMED GAS STATION CHAIN.

1313
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:42,433
AND IT DIDN'T STOP THERE.

1314
00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:43,033
A LOCAL BAKERY SOLD SOLIDARITY

1315
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:44,435
COOKIES SAYING, "SHOP LOCAL,

1316
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:47,438
PROTECT YOUR BEAVER," WHICH IS A

1317
00:36:47,439 --> 00:36:48,005
SOLID MESSAGE NO MATTER THE

1318
00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:51,942
LEGAL LANDSCAPE.

1319
00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:52,576
AND A T-SHIRT COMPANY SOLD THESE

1320
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:53,944
EXCELLENT SHIRTS TO RAISE MONEY

1321
00:36:53,945 --> 00:36:55,012
FOR THE MINI MART AND ITS LEGAL

1322
00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:55,946
FUND, WHICH HAS ALSO BEEN

1323
00:36:55,947 --> 00:36:56,947
HEAVILY SUPPORTED BY THIS GO

1324
00:36:56,948 --> 00:37:00,951
FUND ME.

1325
00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:01,518
THE POINT HERE IS, PEOPLE IN

1326
00:37:01,519 --> 00:37:02,086
BEAVER CREEK ARE NOT LETTING

1327
00:37:02,087 --> 00:37:02,953
THIS GO.

1328
00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:03,954
>> IT'S REALLY GOT BEAVERCREEK

1329
00:37:03,955 --> 00:37:04,455
IN AN UPROAR RIGHT NOW.

1330
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:05,456
SO MANY PEOPLE ARE UPSET.

1331
00:37:05,457 --> 00:37:08,959
WHAT'S NEXT?

1332
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:09,593
BEAVERCREEK WAS HERE BEFORE THEY

1333
00:37:09,594 --> 00:37:09,960
WERE.

1334
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:11,462
>> HOW DARE THEY?

1335
00:37:11,463 --> 00:37:12,062
THEIR BEAVER DOESN'T EVEN LOOK

1336
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,964
LIKE A BEAVER.

1337
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:14,965
THEY SHOULD BE SUED BY ALVIN AND

1338
00:37:14,966 --> 00:37:15,566
THE CHIPMUNKS, BECAUSE THAT'S

1339
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:21,472
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

1340
00:37:21,473 --> 00:37:22,005
>> John: ON, SHOTS FUCKING

1341
00:37:22,006 --> 00:37:25,476
FIRED!

1342
00:37:25,477 --> 00:37:25,976
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1343
00:37:25,977 --> 00:37:26,543
AND BY THE WAY, SHE'S RIGHT:

1344
00:37:26,544 --> 00:37:27,077
BUCKY DOES LOOK A LOT LIKE

1345
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:27,277
ALVIN.

1346
00:37:27,278 --> 00:37:27,778
ALVIN WEARS A RED HAT.

1347
00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:28,345
HIS ACCENT COLOR IS YELLOW.

1348
00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:29,980
AND THEY BOTH LOOK LIKE THEY

1349
00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:30,514
LOST THEIR VIRGINITY TO A

1350
00:37:30,515 --> 00:37:30,981
JUSTIN BIEBER SONG.

1351
00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:31,548
ADMITTEDLY, THE FACE IN THE

1352
00:37:31,549 --> 00:37:32,483
BUC-EE'S LOGO IS A LITTLE

1353
00:37:32,484 --> 00:37:33,484
LUMPIER, BUT IF THE LEAD SINGER

1354
00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:34,985
OF THE CHIPMUNKS EVER GOT

1355
00:37:34,986 --> 00:37:39,490
"MACAULAY CULKIN IN MY GIRL"-ED,

1356
00:37:39,491 --> 00:37:39,990
HE'D BE A DEAD RINGER.

1357
00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:40,524
LITERALLY A DEAD RINGER.

1358
00:37:40,525 --> 00:37:41,125
YOU CAN'T BURY HIM WITHOUT HIS

1359
00:37:41,126 --> 00:37:43,494
GLASSES.

1360
00:37:43,495 --> 00:37:44,094
LOOK, BUT I GOTTA SAY: I LOVE

1361
00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,496
HOW PROTECTIVE OF THE MINI-MART

1362
00:37:45,497 --> 00:37:45,996
THE LOCAL COMMUNITY IS.

1363
00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:47,498
THIS IS A GENUINE QUESTION.

1364
00:37:47,499 --> 00:37:49,500
CAN A TOWN BE PRESIDENT?

1365
00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:52,503
BECAUSE I TRULY HAVEN'T BEEN

1366
00:37:52,504 --> 00:37:53,504
THIS INSPIRED BY A TOWN SINCE

1367
00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:55,005
ONE IN CONNECTICUT LITERALLY

1368
00:37:55,006 --> 00:37:56,006
NAMED A SHIT FACTORY AFTER ME.

1369
00:37:56,007 --> 00:37:58,008
LOOK, IT IS UNBELIEVABLE HOW

1370
00:37:58,009 --> 00:37:59,009
BADLY BUC-EES IS FUCKING THIS

1371
00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:00,010
UP.

1372
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:01,512
INSTEAD OF JUST DROPPING THEIR

1373
00:38:01,513 --> 00:38:02,513
BULLSHIT LAWSUITS IN THE WAKE OF

1374
00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:03,514
OUR PIECE-- SOMETHING THAT

1375
00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:05,015
WOULD'VE GENERATED THEM A

1376
00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:06,016
TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF GOOD WILL

1377
00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:08,519
-- THEY'VE TRIPLED DOWN ON GOING

1378
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,019
AFTER YET ANOTHER SMALL

1379
00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:10,521
BUSINESS, AND IN THE PROCESS

1380
00:38:10,522 --> 00:38:11,522
HAVE MANAGED TO MOBILIZE THE

1381
00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:18,530
MOST PASSIONATE AND DEDICATED

1382
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:19,630
SMALL COMMUNITY OF BEAVER FANS

1383
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:19,997
ON PLANET EARTH.

1384
00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:20,631
AND LOOK, YOU CAN AND SHOULD GO

1385
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:21,265
BUY SOME OF BEAVERCREEK'S MERCH.

1386
00:38:21,266 --> 00:38:21,698
IT'S ALL EXCELLENT.

1387
00:38:21,699 --> 00:38:22,332
AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH YOU CAN

1388
00:38:22,333 --> 00:38:29,340
STILL BUY OUR BUC-OFF

1389
00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:32,609
MERCHANDISE AT Buc-Off.com.

1390
00:38:32,610 --> 00:38:33,243
INTERESTINGLY, WE WERE ACTUALLY

1391
00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:33,844
PLANNING ON CLOSING THAT STORE

1392
00:38:33,845 --> 00:38:34,411
ON SEPTEMBER THE 8TH, BUT AS

1393
00:38:34,412 --> 00:38:35,012
LONG AS BUC-EES IS SUING THAT

1394
00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:36,046
MINI-MART IN BEAVERCREEK, IT'S

1395
00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:37,548
STAYING FUCKING OPEN.

1396
00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:38,549
AND IF ANYONE AT BUC-EES

1397
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:40,050
CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS IS

1398
00:38:40,051 --> 00:38:41,552
WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW, I'VE

1399
00:38:41,553 --> 00:38:45,556
GOT SOMEONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO

1400
00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:47,057
SAY HI TO YOU.

1401
00:38:47,058 --> 00:38:53,564
IT'S MR. NUTTERBUTTER!

1402
00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:55,065
>> HI, JOHN.

1403
00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:55,699
>> John: HI, MR. NUTTERBUTTER!

1404
00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:56,233
WHAT A FANTASTIC T-SHIRT.

1405
00:38:56,234 --> 00:38:56,834
HI, BUDDY, HOW'RE YOU DOING?

1406
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,069
HAVE YOU GOT A MESSAGE FOR

1407
00:38:59,070 --> 00:39:02,573
BUC-EE'S RIGHT NOW?

1408
00:39:02,574 --> 00:39:05,075
>> I SURE DO.

1409
00:39:05,076 --> 00:39:09,580
YOU ALL CAN GO BUC THEMSELVES.

1410
00:39:09,581 --> 00:39:10,214
>> John: HOLD ON, YOU SEEM A BIT

1411
00:39:10,215 --> 00:39:10,681
SAD, MR. NUTTERBUTTER.

1412
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:11,315
IS THAT BECAUSE BUC-EE'S HASN'T

1413
00:39:11,316 --> 00:39:11,615
SUED US YET?

1414
00:39:11,616 --> 00:39:14,084
>> MMM-HMM.

1415
00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:14,651
>> John: OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT

1416
00:39:14,652 --> 00:39:14,852
THAT.

1417
00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:15,485
IS THAT BECAUSE YOU WANTED THEM

1418
00:39:15,486 --> 00:39:15,919
TO SUE US, AND LOSE.

1419
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:16,553
AND THEN WE'D GET TO FILM A BIG

1420
00:39:16,554 --> 00:39:17,588
MUSICAL NUMBER IN TIMES SQUARE

1421
00:39:17,589 --> 00:39:18,222
WHERE WE TELL THEM TO EAT SHIT,

1422
00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:23,093
AND THEN LATER THEY DIE?

1423
00:39:23,094 --> 00:39:25,095
>> YES.

1424
00:39:25,096 --> 00:39:25,696
>> John: YEAH, ME TOO, BUDDY.

1425
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,263
BUT IT COULD STILL HAPPEN.

1426
00:39:26,264 --> 00:39:27,598
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OUR STORE IS

1427
00:39:27,599 --> 00:39:28,599
STILL OPEN.

1428
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,602
YOU CAN BUY BUC-OFF MERCHANDISE

1429
00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:33,604
AT Buc-Off.com.

1430
00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:34,605
THAT IS OUR SHOW.

1431
00:39:34,606 --> 00:39:35,239
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

1432
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:35,739
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

1433
00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:36,039
GOOD NIGHT!

1434
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:40,110
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1435
00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:42,613
WE DID IT, BUDDY!

1436
00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:45,115
WE DID IT.

1437
00:39:45,116 --> 00:39:45,950
♪ ♪