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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.

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FRENCH STUDENTS TOOK TO THE

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STREETS TO PROTEST EDUCATION

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CUTS, THERE WAS A DISAPPOINTING

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U.S. JOBS REPORT, AND FORMER

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PITTSBURGH STEELERS HEAD COACH

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MIKE TOMLIN RELEASED AN

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INCREDIBLE 19-MINUTE YOUTUBE

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VIDEO, SHOWING OFF THE MINECRAFT

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CITY HE SPENT OVER A DECADE

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BUILDING.

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>> I STARTED SMALL AND OVER THE

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COURSE OF 12 YEARS, MAN, YOU

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DEVELOP NEIGHBORHOODS AND

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COMMUNITIES AND SO FORTH.

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WE'LL START AT THE FRONT OF THIS

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VERY FIRST BUILDING THAT I BUILT

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HERE IN TOWN.

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AND IT WAS A BOUTIQUE HOTEL KIND

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OF ON A BAY.

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HERE'S AN EXECUTIVE SPA OFF TO

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THE LEFT OF THE LOBBY, UM, WITH

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THERAPY ROOMS AND SO FORTH,

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FIRST AND SECOND FLOOR.

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AND SO I JUST KIND OF WANTED TO

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HAVE A LITTLE SPA AREA AT THE

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BOUTIQUE HOTEL.

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>> John: IT'S INCREDIBLE!

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IT'S JUST INCREDIBLE.

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IT'S WILD TO ME THAT MIKE TOMLIN

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WAS ONCE THE YOUNGEST HEAD COACH

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TO EVER WIN THE SUPER BOWL, BUT

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THAT'S NO LONGER HIS GREATEST

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ACCOMPLISHMENT.

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BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW, THAT

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WOULD BE HIS EXECUTIVE SPA AREA

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IN HIS MINECRAFT BOUTIQUE HOTEL.

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TOMLIN APPARENTLY STARTED

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PLAYING MINECRAFT TO SPEND TIME

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WITH HIS KIDS, BUT EVEN AS THEY

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GOT OLDER AND MOVED ON, HE KEPT

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DOING IT.

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HIS SONS ACTUALLY HELPED HIM

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MAKE THE VIDEO TOUR, AND I

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PROMISE: YOU CAN DROP INTO IT AT

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LITERALLY ANY POINT, AND FIND

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SOMETHING MAGNIFICENT.

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>> I WAS ALWAYS REALLY CONSCIOUS

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OF A APPROPRIATE AMENITIES.

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YOU'LL FIND, YOU KNOW, AN

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APPROPRIATE NUMBER OF PUBLIC

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RESTROOMS AND STUFF THROUGHOUT

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ALL MY PUBLIC FACILITIES.

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I'LL GIVE YOU A TOUR OF THIS

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AQUARIUM AT SOME POINT.

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IT IS CRAZY.

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YOU'LL LOVE IT.

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>> UM, THE CRAZY PART IS HOW

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MUCH TIME IT TOOK YOU TO GET

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THAT WATER SITUATED THOUGH.

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>> THAT WAS A NIGHTMARE.

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I USED A LOT OF GLOW STONE EARLY

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ON.

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UM, NOT BECAUSE I LIKE THE GLOW

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STONE.

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I REALLY DIDN'T.

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BUT LIGHTING WAS IMPORTANT.

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>> John: YEAH, HE'S RIGHT!

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LIGHTING IS IMPORTANT.

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AND GLOWSTONES, OF COURSE, EMIT

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A LIGHT LEVEL OF 15, THE

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BRIGHTEST POSSIBLE LIGHT LEVEL

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IN THE GAME.

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NOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING,

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"WELL, JOHN, HE COULD'VE GOTTEN

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A 15 FROM LANTERNS, SEA

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LANTERNS, JACK O'LANTERNS,

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REDSTONE LAMPS, CONDUITS,

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BEACONS, SHROOMLIGHTS, OR

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FROGLIGHTS.

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BUT WHAT'S HE SUPPOSED TO DO?

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USE A SHROOMLIGHT?

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A SHROOMLIGHT IN THE BAR AREA

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WITH THE POOL?"

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PLEASE.

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TOMLIN MAY NOT LOVE THE

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GLOWSTONE BUT UNLIKE YOU, THE

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MAN HAS TASTE.

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THE WHOLE VIDEO IS SO FILLED

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WITH JOY, THAT I THINK MY

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FAVORITE PART IS THE TITLE

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"EPISODE 1."

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BECAUSE FUCK YES.

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I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HE

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TALKS ABOUT NEXT EPISODE, WHICH

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IS FRANKLY SOMETHING NO ONE'S

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EVER SAID ABOUT THIS SHOW.

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MEANWHILE, WITH THE MIDTERMS

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LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY, POLLS

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FOR HOUSE REPUBLICANS LOOK SO

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GRIM THAT A GROWING NUMBER OF

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THEM PRIVATELY BELIEVE THEY

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WON'T KEEP THE MAJORITY.

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IT'S NO WONDER SOME CANDIDATES

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ARE NOW RESORTING TO

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EYE-CATCHING ADS THAT TAKE SOME

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BIG SWINGS-- PERHAPS NONE MORE

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SO THAN THIS ONE IN

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NORTH CAROLINA.

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>> I'M JENNIFER BALKCOM.

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I COME FROM A LONG LINE OF TOUGH

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MOUNTAIN WOMEN.

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MOM RAISED US ON HER OWN.

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SHE TAUGHT US TO BE STRONG.

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AND WHEN SOMEONE BROKE INTO OUR

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HOUSE, SHE SHOT HIM.

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>> YOU BREAK INTO MY HOUSE,

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YOU'RE GONNA GET SHOT.

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>> John: WOW.

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THAT'S AN INTERESTING STORY

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ABOUT YOUR MOM BUT I'M NOT SURE

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WHAT IT HAS TO DO WITH YOU AS A

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CANDIDATE.

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SAY WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT LIZ

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CHENEY, AT LEAST SHE NEVER RAN

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ON "PLEASE VOTE FOR ME, MY DAD

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ONCE SHOT A GUY IN THE FACE."

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QUICK SIDE NOTE ABOUT JENNIFER

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BALKCOM: SHE WAS ACTUALLY A

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LAST-MINUTE ADDITION TO THE

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BALLOT, AS THE REPUBLICAN

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INCUMBENT, CHUCK EDWARDS,

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DROPPED OUT OF THE RACE AFTER HE

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WAS FORMALLY CENSURED BY THE

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HOUSE, FOLLOWING A MONTHS-LONG

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ETHICS INVESTIGATION INTO

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ALLEGATIONS HE SEXUALLY HARASSED

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TWO YOUNG FEMALE STAFF MEMBERS.

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SOME HAVE SINCE SUGGESTED

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EDWARDS SHOULD ALSO RESIGN FROM

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CONGRESS, AND WHEN A REPORTER

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ASKED BALKCOM ABOUT THAT, IT

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HER ANSWER WASN'T GREAT.

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>> DO YOU THINK HE SHOULD RESIGN

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FROM HIS POSITION, OR ARE YOU

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COMFORTABLE WITH WHERE THINGS

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STAND NOW?

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>> I'M NOT SURE.

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>> John: HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS A

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LONG PAUSE!

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EVEN THOSE COWS BEHIND HER ARE

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PROBABLY LIKE "I DON'T HAVE TIME

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FOR THIS, AND MY ENTIRE TO-DO

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LIST IS CHEW GRASS AND SHIT."

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THAT PAUSE WAS SO LONG, AND I

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DO NOT SAY THIS LIGHTLY, HER MOM

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COULD HAVE SHOT, LIKE, 20

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INTRUDERS IN THAT TIME.

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AND LOOK, THERE'LL CLEARLY BE

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MORE TO SAY ABOUT THE MIDTERMS

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GOING FORWARD, BUT FOR NOW,

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WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIVE

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STRAIGHT IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY

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TONIGHT, WHICH CONCERNS THE U.S.

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SECRET SERVICE.

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IT'S LONG BEEN THE SUBJECT OF

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MOVIES FROM "IN THE LINE OF

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FIRE" TO "THE SENTINEL" TO

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"OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN"-- THE

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TRAILER FOR WHICH OPENS WITH

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THIS TRULY INCREDIBLE SEQUENCE.

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>> MUSTANG, THIS IS BIGTOP.

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BRINGING OUT THE FULL PACKAGE.

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>> WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

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>> GET OUT OF THE CAR!

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>> John: I'M SURE SHE'S FINE.

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THAT SCENE FOLLOWS A KEY RULE OF

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SCREENWRITING: IF YOU WANT TO

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MAKE A MAN SYMPATHETIC BUT YOU

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DON'T KNOW HOW, JUST KILL HIS

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WIFE IN A TRAGIC ACCIDENT.

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INCIDENTALLY, I BELIEVE THAT'S

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THE SAME STRATEGY THE BRITISH

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ROYAL FAMILY HAD IN 1997.

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BUT OBVIOUSLY, YOU DON'T JUST

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SEE THE SECRET SERVICE IN MOVIES

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-- YOU ALSO HEAR ABOUT THEM ON

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THE NEWS.

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AND UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN THEY'RE

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TALKED ABOUT ON TV, IT'S USUALLY

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BECAUSE THERE'S BEEN A BIG

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MISTAKE OR A VERY CLOSE CALL.

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SO IT'S CLEARLY NOT IDEAL THAT

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I'M ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT THEM ON

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TV RIGHT NOW.

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BUT THE REASON FOR THAT IS,

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THERE'VE BEEN A LOT OF CLOSE

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CALLS LATELY-- WITH OBVIOUSLY

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NONE CLOSER THAN WHAT HAPPENED

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IN BUTLER, PENNSYLVANIA TWO

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YEARS AGO.

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>> THE BUTLER, PENNSYLVANIA

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SHOOTING HAS BEEN DIFFICULT ON

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MANY FRONTS.

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WE FAILED.

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THE SECRET SERVICE FAILED.

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YOU KNOW, THE FIRST AND FOREMOST

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IS THAT ONE PERSON DIED INSIDE A

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SECURED EVENT.

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THREE OTHER PEOPLE, INCLUDING A

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FORMER PRESIDENT, WERE WOUNDED

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INSIDE THAT EVENT.

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THERE'S JUST NO WAY YOU CAN'T

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USE THE WORD "FAILURE" WHEN

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SHOTS ARE FIRED INTO WHAT IS

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SUPPOSED TO BE A SECURED VENUE.

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>> John: RIGHT, A RALLYGOER DIED

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AND TRUMP'S EAR GOT SHOT.

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WHEN THE SECRET SERVICE HAS A

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BAD DAY, THOSE ARE THE KINDS OF

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CONSEQUENCES YOU CAN GET.

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IT'S WHY THE AGENCY HAS A

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"ZERO FAIL" MISSION FOR

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THEMSELVES-- WITH AGENTS

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POINTING OUT, IF YOU FAIL, IT

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CAN CHANGE THE COURSE OF HISTORY

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-- A LEVEL OF PRESSURE I TRULY

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CANNOT FATHOM.

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I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT THE

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HISTORICAL LEGACY OF THIS SHOW

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WILL BE A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND

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DOLLARS FOR FOOD BANKS, A KOALA

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CHLAMYDIA WARD, AND WHATEVER THE

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FUCK IS GOING ON WITH RUSSELL

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CROWE'S JOCKSTRAP RIGHT NOW.

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BECAUSE QUICK UPDATE: AFTER WE

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AUCTIONED THE JOCKSTRAP OFF AT

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THE END OF LAST YEAR, IN AID OF

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PUBLIC MEDIA-- IT WAS

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APPARENTLY PUT UP FOR AUCTION

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AGAIN IN AUGUST, WHERE I'M HAPPY

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TO TELL YOU: IT SOLD FOR

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$10,000.

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AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS,

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OF COURSE WE FUCKING BOUGHT IT

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BACK.

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OF COURSE DID.

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I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT WHERE

257
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YOU'RE GOING TO GO NEXT.

258
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:53,839
THE POINT IS, AGENTS HAVE A

259
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,774
HIGH-STAKES JOB.

260
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,276
AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO

261
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,777
WORRISOME THAT BY ALL ACCOUNTS,

262
00:07:58,778 --> 00:07:59,378
THE SECRET SERVICE IS HEADING

263
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,280
INTO WHAT MIGHT BE ONE OF ITS

264
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,782
MOST CHALLENGING PERIODS YET.

265
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,783
FOR ONE THING, THE AGENCY SAYS

266
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:05,784
THREATS AGAINST THEIR PROTECTEES

267
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:07,286
ARE "OFF THE CHARTS" THESE DAYS.

268
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,787
AND THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET EVEN

269
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,289
BUSIER, AS IN 2028, THEY'LL BE

270
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,790
TASKED WITH COORDINATING

271
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,292
PROTECTION AROUND THE SUMMER

272
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:16,795
OLYMPICS AND PARALYMPICS, PLUS

273
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:17,296
THE ANNUAL U.N. GENERAL

274
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:17,563
ASSEMBLY.

275
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:18,297
AND THAT YEAR WILL ALSO SEE A

276
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,298
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, FINGERS

277
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,799
CROSSED, WHICH MEANS EVENTUAL

278
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,801
NOMINEES FROM BOTH PARTIES,

279
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:24,303
THEIR RUNNING MATES, AND THEIR

280
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,804
SPOUSES WILL RECEIVE FULL-TIME

281
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:26,805
SECRET SERVICE DETAILS, TOO.

282
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,807
AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, THE

283
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,810
AGENCY ALSO EXPECTS A WAVE OF

284
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:34,313
DEPARTURES BEFORE 2028, SINCE

285
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,314
ABOUT A THIRD OF THE WORKFORCE

286
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:35,914
WILL BE RETIREMENT-ELIGIBLE BY

287
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,316
THEN.

288
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,817
SO IT'S NO WONDER THAT SOME IN

289
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,819
THE SECRET SERVICE HAVE

290
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,821
PRIVATELY REFERRED TO 2028 AS

291
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,823
"ARMAGEDDON."

292
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,325
AND TO BE FAIR, IT'S TRIED TO

293
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,327
STEP UP RECRUITING EFFORTS--

294
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:51,330
MOST NOTABLY WITH AN AD THAT

295
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:51,864
PLAYED DURING LAST YEAR'S

296
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,831
SUPER BOWL, FOR WHICH THEY HIRED

297
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,833
NONE OTHER THAN MICHAEL BAY, AND

298
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:55,434
WHICH OPENS WITH A BOLD SET OF

299
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,836
FOOTAGE CHOICES.

300
00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:00,839
>> AMERICA WAS FOUNDED ON AN

301
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,343
IDEA OF FREEDOM.

302
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,345
AMERICA'S ALWAYS STEPPED FORWARD

303
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:06,945
IN TIME OF NEED THROUGHOUT OUR

304
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,848
SHORT BUT POWERFUL HISTORY.

305
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:10,849
>> ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN

306
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,851
DO FOR YOU.

307
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:13,419
ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR

308
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,853
COUNTRY.

309
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:17,856
>> TEAR DOWN THIS WALL.

310
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,358
>> WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR ALL OF

311
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:23,362
IT.

312
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:26,365
♪ ♪

313
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,866
>> A SECOND PLANE HIT THE TOWER.

314
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:28,867
>> John: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU

315
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:31,870
DOING?

316
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:32,471
FIRST, IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD TO

317
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,373
TRY TO RECRUIT PEOPLE INTO THE

318
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,375
SECRET SERVICE BY HIGHLIGHTING

319
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,877
THREE OF OUR MOST FAMOUSLY SHOT

320
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,379
AT PRESIDENTS, MEANWHILE, THE

321
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,881
REST OF THAT FOOTAGE FOCUSES ON

322
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:43,515
EITHER STUFF THAT HAD NOTHING TO

323
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,383
DO WITH THE AGENCY, OR THAT

324
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:50,389
THING.

325
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,023
THOUGH, I SHOULD SAY, AS THE AD

326
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:51,657
GOES ON, WE DO EVENTUALLY GET TO

327
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:51,924
THE POINT.

328
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,392
>> OUR HEROES ARE HUMBLE.

329
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,893
>> THEY HAVE AN INNER PRIDE TO

330
00:09:54,894 --> 00:10:00,899
KEEP THIS IDEA ALIVE.

331
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,402
PROTECTORS ARE BORN.

332
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:09,408
THEY'RE NOT MADE.

333
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,410
AMERICA'S SECRET SERVICE,

334
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,412
PROTECTING THIS SUPER BOWL, IS

335
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:14,413
ASKING A FEW MORE TO STEP

336
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,416
FORWARD.

337
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,418
>> John: OKAY, I DON'T KNOW

338
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,919
WHAT'S WEIRDER THERE, THE

339
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,422
JUXTAPOSITION OF "HUMBLENESS"

340
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:24,423
WITH SPECIAL AGENT WHITE MR. T

341
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,924
HERE, OR THE CLAIM THAT AGENTS

342
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,426
"ARE BORN AND NOT MADE,"

343
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,927
IMPLYING YOU LITERALLY CAN'T

344
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,429
TRAIN TO BE A SECRET SERVICE

345
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,029
AGENT.

346
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,932
THOUGH, I ADMIT: THAT AD MAKES

347
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:34,433
THEM LOOK PRETTY BADASS,

348
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,934
ESPECIALLY FOR AN AGENCY THAT--

349
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,436
AS THIS IMAGE SUGGESTS-- HAS

350
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,437
HAD SOME PRETTY CLOSE CALLS

351
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,438
RECENTLY.

352
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,939
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY A TRIUMPHANT

353
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,941
MOMENT FOR THEM, IS IT?

354
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,943
IT'S A BIT ODD TO CHOOSE TO

355
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,445
SELF-PROMOTE, USING AN IMAGE OF

356
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,946
YOURSELF AT YOUR LOWEST-- EVEN

357
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,448
IF IT'S A STRATEGY THAT I CAN

358
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,950
FRANKLY RELATE TO.

359
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,952
SO GIVEN ALL THAT, TONIGHT,

360
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:54,586
LET'S LOOK AT THE SECRET SERVICE

361
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,955
-- WHERE IT CAME FROM, WHY IT'S

362
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:57,956
IN SUCH A WORRYING STATE RIGHT

363
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,958
NOW, AND WHAT IF ANYTHING WE CAN

364
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:00,425
DO TO IMPROVE THINGS.

365
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:01,026
AND LET'S START WITH A LITTLE

366
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,461
HISTORY.

367
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,028
BECAUSE THE AGENCY'S ORIGIN

368
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:03,662
STORY IS-- TO SAY THE LEAST--

369
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:08,467
"INAUSPICIOUS."

370
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,968
>> IT WAS ABRAHAM LINCOLN WHO

371
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,470
CREATED THE SECRET SERVICE 150

372
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:15,474
YEARS AGO.

373
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,074
AND IRONICALLY, IT WAS ON THE

374
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,976
VERY DAY HE WAS ASSASSINATED.

375
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,478
>> John: YEAH, LINCOLN WAS

376
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,981
ASSASSINATED JUST HOURS AFTER HE

377
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:23,615
SIGNED THE LEGISLATION CREATING

378
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,483
THE SECRET SERVICE.

379
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,984
BUT-- IN THEIR DEFENSE, AND

380
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,486
THIS IS THE ONLY TIME THEY CAN

381
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:31,990
USE THIS-- THEY WERE NEW.

382
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:32,991
ALSO, TO BE FAIR: AT THAT POINT,

383
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,493
THE AGENCY WASN'T ACTUALLY

384
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,027
TASKED WITH PROTECTING THE

385
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,995
PRESIDENT.

386
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:37,996
INSTEAD, THEY WERE A PART OF THE

387
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:38,564
TREASURY DEPARTMENT, AND HAD

388
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,498
BEEN ESTABLISHED TO CRACK DOWN

389
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,999
ON COUNTERFEIT MONEY-- WHICH

390
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000
WAS A BIG PROBLEM AT THE TIME,

391
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,001
GIVEN IT'S ESTIMATED THAT ABOUT

392
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:45,003
ONE-THIRD OF THE PAPER MONEY IN

393
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:47,005
CIRCULATION WAS FAKE.

394
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,507
ALTHOUGH, FUN FACT: THEIR WORK

395
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,008
COMBATING COUNTERFEITING DID

396
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,510
EVENTUALLY MEAN PROTECTING

397
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,511
LINCOLN'S BODY, AS YEARS LATER,

398
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,512
THEY HELPED THWART A SCHEME

399
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,513
HATCHED BY A COUNTERFEITING RING

400
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,014
THAT CALLED FOR LINCOLN'S BODY

401
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:58,016
TO BE STOLEN FROM HIS TOMB, IN

402
00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,017
ORDER TO RANSOM IT BACK TO THE

403
00:11:59,018 --> 00:11:59,585
GOVERNMENT FOR, AMONG OTHER

404
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,520
THINGS, $200,000.

405
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,021
JUST A LITTLE FUN FACT FOR YOU

406
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,023
THERE.

407
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,024
LIKE ALL FUN FACTS, TELLING IT

408
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,025
TO ANYONE WON'T MAKE THEM LIKE

409
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,027
YOU.

410
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,028
IT CERTAINLY DIDN'T MAKE ME LIKE

411
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,029
THE WRITER WHO INSISTED ON

412
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:11,630
BRINGING IT UP WHEN DISCUSSING

413
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:14,032
THIS PIECE.

414
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,534
BUT IT IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS

415
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,168
YOU CAN BRING UP AT A PARTY AS A

416
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,037
WAY TO REMIND PEOPLE WHY THEY

417
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,039
SHOULDN'T INVITE YOU TO PARTIES.

418
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,042
BUT INCREDIBLY, IT WASN'T UNTIL

419
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:24,643
THE 20TH CENTURY-- AFTER TWO

420
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:26,044
MORE PRESIDENTS HAD BEEN

421
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,045
ASSASSINATED-- THAT

422
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:27,613
PRESIDENTIAL PROTECTION WAS

423
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,047
FORMALLY ADDED TO THE SECRET

424
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,550
SERVICE'S DUTIES.

425
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,051
AND THEY NOW DO IT IN ALL SORTS

426
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,553
OF WAYS-- SOME OBVIOUS, LIKE

427
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,187
STANDING BESIDE A PRESIDENT WHEN

428
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,055
HE GREETS A CROWD.

429
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:37,623
AND SOME, MUCH LESS OBVIOUS,

430
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,559
LIKE THIS.

431
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,159
>> THERE WAS A GUY THAT BROKE

432
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,060
INTO PRESIDENT REAGAN'S HOUSE IN

433
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:45,063
BEL AIR, AND MY JOB FOR A YEAR

434
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:45,631
AND A HALF AS HIS CASE AGENT

435
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,566
WAS, I WOULD SAY, PRESIDENT BUSH

436
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:48,133
IS COMING INTO TOWN, OR VICE

437
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,068
PRESIDENT CHENEY'S COMING INTO

438
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:50,669
TOWN ON TUESDAY, WHAT ARE YOU

439
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:51,570
DOING? AND HE LIVED IN A HALFWAY

440
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,204
HOUSE, AND HE WOULD SAY, I'M NOT

441
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,071
DOING ANYTHING.

442
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:53,705
I'D SAY, LET'S GO TO A MOVIE AND

443
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:54,273
LET'S EAT DINNER WHILE HE'S

444
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,074
HERE.

445
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:56,642
AND SO, THAT WAS MY JOB WITH

446
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,077
ANOTHER AGENT, WAS WE WOULD GO

447
00:12:59,078 --> 00:12:59,578
MAKE HIM HAPPY WHILE THE

448
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,079
PRESIDENT WAS IN TOWN, TO MAKE

449
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:01,680
SURE WE KNEW WHERE HE WAS AND

450
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:05,584
KEEP TABS ON HIM.

451
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,218
>> John: THAT IS TRUE-- AGENTS

452
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:06,852
SOMETIMES KEEP TABS ON POTENTIAL

453
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:07,452
THREATS, BY DOING THINGS LIKE

454
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,587
TAKING THEM OUT SOMEWHERE,

455
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,589
WHENEVER THE PRESIDENT'S NEARBY.

456
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,590
AND GIVEN JUST HOW MUCH SHIT I

457
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,091
TALK ABOUT OUR CURRENT

458
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,092
PRESIDENT, I'M GUESSING THERE'S

459
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:17,596
A NON-ZERO CHANCE THE SECRET

460
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,664
SERVICE HAS A FILE ON ME, SO

461
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,098
GIVEN THAT, LET ME JUST SAY-- I

462
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,099
HAVEN'T SEEN "OH MARY" YET AND I

463
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,101
HEAR GREAT THINGS.

464
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:23,702
APPARENTLY, BOWEN YANG'S IN IT

465
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,103
NOW.

466
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,605
I'M JUST SAYING-- IF YOU WANT

467
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,106
TO KEEP TABS ON ME THE NEXT TIME

468
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,108
TRUMP'S IN NEW YORK, I DO "LOVE"

469
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:33,111
AN AISLE SEAT.

470
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:33,679
NOW, THESE DAYS, THE JOB OF

471
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,614
SPOTTING THREATS HAS CLEARLY

472
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,115
GOTTEN MORE COMPLEX, GIVEN HOW

473
00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:38,617
EASY IT IS TO MAKE THEM ONLINE.

474
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,119
IN FACT, JUST WATCH AS THIS

475
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,120
AGENT EXPLAINS ONE WAY THEY

476
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:45,624
ASSESS ONLINE THREATS.

477
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,626
>> NOW, WHEN I'M LOOKING THROUGH

478
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:48,627
HIS SOCIAL MEDIA AFTER THE

479
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,128
INITIAL THREAT, WE'RE LOOKING

480
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,129
FOR WEAPONS OR ANYTHING, ANY

481
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,131
COMMENTS THAT ARE NONSENSICAL,

482
00:13:53,132 --> 00:14:00,139
THAT'S CONCERNING.

483
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:05,711
SO, THIS IS DEFINITELY A RED

484
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:12,150
FLAG.

485
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:12,718
>> John: YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE

486
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,653
PROBABLY RIGHT.

487
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:15,187
WHAT A KEEN EYE YOU HAVE!

488
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:15,787
THOUGH, TO BE HONEST, IF BEING

489
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:16,655
AN AGENT INCLUDES NEEDING TO BE

490
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:17,656
GOOD AT TRAWLING THROUGH SOCIAL

491
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:18,657
MEDIA FAST TO LOOK FOR RED

492
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,158
FLAGS, IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE

493
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,660
OVERLOOKING A HUGE HIRING POOL

494
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:27,165
OF SINGLE WOMEN IN THEIR

495
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:27,666
30S.

496
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,266
BECAUSE BELIEVE ME-- JESSICA

497
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,167
COULD HAVE FOUND THAT POST IN

498
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,168
TWO SECONDS FLAT, ALONG WITH THE

499
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:30,736
NAMES OF ALL OF HIS SISTERS,

500
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:35,674
EXES, AND PRESCHOOL TEACHERS.

501
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,175
"OH, I'M SORRY.

502
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:37,776
YOU RETWEETED RUSSELL BRAND IN

503
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:37,976
2018?

504
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:38,243
GOODBYE."

505
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:38,877
NOW, I SHOULD SAY-- EVEN AS THE

506
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,478
AGENCY DOES ALL THAT, IT STILL

507
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,682
HAS TO DEAL WITH ITS

508
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,685
COUNTERFEITING INVESTIGATIONS.

509
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,319
IT ACTUALLY HAS AN OFFICIAL DUAL

510
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,687
MISSION OF PROTECTION AND

511
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:49,688
INVESTIGATING FINANCIAL CRIMES.

512
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,689
WHICH IT DOES AT 115 FIELD

513
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,191
OFFICES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.

514
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:54,693
THAT'S WHY YOU SOMETIMES SEE

515
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,694
STORIES ON THE NEWS LIKE THIS

516
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,195
ONE, FROM EARLIER THIS YEAR.

517
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,197
>> IT TAKES LESS THAN TWO

518
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:00,198
SECONDS FOR THIS SUSPECT TO

519
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:00,799
INSTALL A SKIMMING DEVICE ON A

520
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,201
CREDIT CARD TERMINAL.

521
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,703
>> HOW ARE YOU DOING, SIR.

522
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:05,704
MY NAME'S VINCE PORTER, I WORK

523
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,205
FOR THE SECRET SERVICE.

524
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,707
>> THE SECRET SERVICE GAVE CBS

525
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,709
EXCLUSIVE ACCESS AS THEY SEARCH

526
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,711
FOR SKIMMERS ACROSS LOS ANGELES.

527
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,713
>> THEY SNAP PERFECTLY ON CREDIT

528
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,214
CARD TERMINALS AND ATMS,

529
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,717
COLLECTING INFORMATION TO DRAIN

530
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:19,317
YOUR ACCOUNT WITH EVERY SWIPE.

531
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,719
>> WE GOT ONE.

532
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,353
>> ANALYST VINCE PORTER SPOTTED

533
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,721
THIS ONE RIGHT AWAY.

534
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,723
>> John: YEAH, THE SECRET

535
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:28,226
SERVICE IS ALSO TASKED WITH

536
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:28,827
CATCHING CREDIT CARD SKIMMERS,

537
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:29,394
WHICH IS KIND OF INCREDIBLE,

538
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:30,729
IT'S LIKE BEING IN A BAD CAR

539
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,363
ACCIDENT AND GETTING RESCUED BY

540
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,732
RYAN SEACREST.

541
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,233
HOLD ON, THIS IS ONE OF YOUR

542
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,236
JOBS TOO?

543
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:38,737
YOU'RE TAKING A LOT ON.

544
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,337
BUT WAIT, THAT'S STILL NOT ALL

545
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:39,938
-- THEY ALSO PROVIDE FORENSIC

546
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,741
AND TECHNICAL SUPPORT TO THE

547
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:43,375
NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING AND

548
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,243
EXPLOITED CHILDREN, AND

549
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:45,877
INVESTIGATE THINGS LIKE ROMANCE

550
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:46,745
SCAMS.

551
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,246
AND LOOK, SOME AGENTS WILL

552
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,248
INSIST THOSE INVESTIGATIONS ARE

553
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,250
WHAT KEEP THEIR MINDS SHARP, AND

554
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,752
THEY CAN ALSO HELP ESTABLISH

555
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:54,319
RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOCAL LAW

556
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,253
ENFORCEMENT.

557
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:55,821
BUT THAT'S STILL A LOT TO BE

558
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,756
PUTTING ON THEIR PLATE!

559
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,425
ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT PLATE IS

560
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:01,259
ALREADY PRETTY FULL.

561
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,761
OBVIOUSLY, THE MOST WELL-KNOWN

562
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,262
JOB THEY HAVE IS THEIR

563
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:04,796
PROTECTIVE MISSION, WHICH

564
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,764
INVOLVES GUARDING NOT JUST THE

565
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,766
PRESIDENT, BUT ALSO THE VICE

566
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,267
PRESIDENT, FORMER PRESIDENTS AND

567
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,268
SPOUSES, VISITING HEADS OF

568
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:10,869
FOREIGN STATES OR GOVERNMENTS,

569
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,270
DISTINGUISHED FOREIGN VISITORS,

570
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:13,772
MAJOR PRESIDENTIAL AND VICE

571
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,774
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES AND

572
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:16,274
MORE.

573
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,276
AND BEING ON PROTECTIVE DUTY IS

574
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:19,277
A MUCH MORE DRAINING JOB THAN

575
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:19,778
YOU MAY THINK.

576
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,279
OBVIOUSLY, "SCANNING A MASSIVE

577
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,781
CROWD OF PEOPLE WHILE BEING

578
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,282
WILLING TO TAKE A BULLET FOR

579
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:25,784
SOMEONE" IS A BIG PART OF IT--

580
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,285
BUT IT ALSO REQUIRES INCREDIBLE

581
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:28,787
AMOUNTS OF PREPARATION KNOWN AS

582
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,791
"ADVANCE WORK," AND PUNISHINGLY

583
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:33,391
LONG SHIFTS, ALL OF WHICH CAN

584
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,025
TAKE A REAL TOLL, AS THIS FORMER

585
00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:35,794
AGENT EXPLAINS.

586
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:36,795
>> AT THE TIME, I DIDN'T

587
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,297
UNDERSTAND HOW STRESSFUL IT WAS.

588
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:43,301
I WOULD SAY DURING THE TIME I

589
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:43,802
WAS IN CHARGE OF

590
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,303
PRESIDENT CLINTON'S DETAIL, I

591
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,439
CAN'T REMEMBER A NIGHT THAT I

592
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,306
HAD MORE THAN THREE HOURS OF

593
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:48,807
CONTINUOUS SLEEP.

594
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,309
EVERYBODY BURNS OUT.

595
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,310
NO ONE MAINTAINS AN EDGE

596
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:53,812
CONSTANTLY.

597
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,313
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S NOT GREAT!

598
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,315
THREE HOURS OF SLEEP PROBABLY

599
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:57,883
ISN'T ENOUGH TO EFFECTIVELY

600
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,818
PROTECT THE PRESIDENT.

601
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,319
ESPECIALLY GIVEN-- AS ANY

602
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,320
PARENT OF A NEWBORN WILL TELL

603
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:03,321
YOU-- IT'S BARELY ENOUGH TO BE

604
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,324
AN OPERATIONAL PERSON AT ALL.

605
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,826
THE MOST YOU HAVE ENERGY TO DO

606
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,327
AT THAT POINT IS JUST TO GOOGLE,

607
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,329
"COULD I DIE FROM NOT ENOUGH

608
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,430
SLEEP" AND THEN MAYBE ADD,

609
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,333
"PLEASE."

610
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:16,334
THE POINT IS, THE TOLL ON YOUR

611
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,837
PERSONAL LIFE CAN BE INTENSE.

612
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,339
AGENTS HAVE TALKED ABOUT BEING

613
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,340
AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILY FOR WEEKS

614
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,342
AT A TIME, MISSING HOLIDAYS AND

615
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:26,344
BIRTHDAYS, WITH ONE EVEN SAYING,

616
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:26,978
THANKFULLY I'M NOT MARRIED, BUT

617
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:27,846
IF I WAS, I'D PROBABLY BE

618
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,848
DIVORCED BY NOW.

619
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,349
WHICH IS PRETTY ALARMING.

620
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:33,351
IF THE BEST YOU CAN SAY FOR YOUR

621
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,352
JOB IS, "WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT

622
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:37,355
DISAPPOINTING AND GROWING APART

623
00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:38,356
FROM MY NONEXISTENT WIFE," THAT

624
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,859
JOB SOUNDS BAD.

625
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,360
AND IT PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP

626
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,362
MATTERS THAT LOTS OF PRESIDENTS

627
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:45,864
HAVE BEEN-- NOT TO PUT TOO FINE

628
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:46,865
A POINT ON IT-- WEIRDOS AND

629
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,367
ASSHOLES.

630
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,869
CALVIN COOLIDGE, FOR INSTANCE,

631
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,370
APPARENTLY HAD A BELL HE USED TO

632
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,371
SUMMON AGENTS WITH, WHICH HE'D

633
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,373
REPEATEDLY RING, AFTER WHICH HE

634
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,375
SCAMPERED QUICKLY AWAY, TO HIDE

635
00:17:57,376 --> 00:17:59,878
AND WATCH THEIR CONFUSION.

636
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,379
AND WHILE THIS ISN'T THE POINT:

637
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,882
JUST IMAGINE HOW NICE IT'D BE TO

638
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,884
HAVE A PRESIDENT SPRY ENOUGH TO

639
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,886
BE ABLE TO SCAMPER RIGHT NOW.

640
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,387
BUT THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING.

641
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:09,888
JFK'S AGENTS HAD THE

642
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,557
UNCOMFORTABLE TASK OF STANDING

643
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:13,391
GUARD WHILE HE WAS PRETTY

644
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:14,025
OBVIOUSLY CHEATING ON HIS WIFE.

645
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:14,893
THE SAME WENT FOR AGENTS ON BILL

646
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,895
CLINTON'S DETAIL.

647
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,396
MEANWHILE, LEGEND HAS IT THAT

648
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,398
LBJ ONCE HAD AN AGENT SHIELD HIM

649
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,399
WHILE HE WAS PEEING OUTSIDE.

650
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,400
DURING WHICH, THAT AGENT

651
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,402
APPARENTLY FELT SOMETHING WARM

652
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:31,410
AND WET ON HIS TROUSERS.

653
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:43,054
AND WHEN HE SAID, "MR. PRESIDENT

654
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:43,588
YOU'RE PISSING ON MY LEG.

655
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,189
LBJ RESPONDED WITH, "AH KNOW I

656
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:44,356
AM.

657
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:44,856
THAT'S MY PREROGATIVE."

658
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:45,457
AS FOR TRUMP, HE'S APPARENTLY

659
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,024
COMPLAINED "I WANT THESE FAT

660
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:46,658
GUYS OFF MY DETAIL," ADDING "HOW

661
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:47,292
ARE THEY GOING TO PROTECT ME AND

662
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:47,926
MY FAMILY IF THEY CAN'T RUN DOWN

663
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:48,226
THE STREET?"

664
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:48,793
WHICH IS PRETTY INSULTING!

665
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:49,394
NOT QUITE AS INSULTING AS THE

666
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:50,028
FACT HE RILED UP A CROWD OF HIS

667
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:50,595
SUPPORTERS TO SWARM HIS VICE

668
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:51,096
PRESIDENT ON JANUARY 6,

669
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:51,930
SOMETHING THAT APPARENTLY MADE

670
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:52,931
MEMBERS OF PENCE'S DETAIL FEAR

671
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:53,431
FOR THEIR LIVES.

672
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,933
BUT STILL PRETTY BAD!

673
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,935
AND WHILE IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT AS

674
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,437
DANGEROUS AS THAT, DURING THE

675
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:00,438
BIDEN YEARS, AGENTS ALSO HAD TO

676
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,941
DEAL WITH THIS SHIT.

677
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,443
>> COMMANDER IS IN THE DOGHOUSE

678
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:06,945
AGAIN.

679
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,446
THE BIDEN'S TWO-YEAR-OLD GERMAN

680
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:09,948
SHEPHERD HAS BITTEN ANOTHER

681
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:10,615
SECRET SERVICE AGENT, THIS TIME

682
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,951
A WOMAN.

683
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,953
THIS IS THE 11TH TIME IN TWO

684
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:15,954
YEARS THE DOG HAS SUNK HIS TEETH

685
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:16,955
INTO SOMEONE.

686
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,456
THE OFFICER WAS TREATED BY

687
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:19,057
MEDICAL PERSONNEL ON THE WHITE

688
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,458
HOUSE COMPLEX, SAYS A SECRET

689
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,460
SERVICE SPOKESMAN.

690
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,462
A FORMER SECRET SERVICE AGENT

691
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,464
CALLS COMMANDER A "SIGNIFICANT

692
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,466
HAZARD, IT'S A SERIOUS ISSUE."

693
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:29,968
>> John: YEAH, IT REALLY WAS!

694
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,469
COMMANDER ACTUALLY BIT SECRET

695
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,003
SERVICE AGENTS AT LEAST 24

696
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,973
TIMES.

697
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,975
WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE,

698
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,476
ALTHOUGH DO SPARE A THOUGHT FOR

699
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,978
COMMANDER, WHO PROBABLY FELT BAD

700
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,479
ENOUGH ALREADY, THEN HAD TO

701
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,480
WATCH THAT CLIP THINKING "DON'T

702
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:43,481
USE THAT ONE PICTURE OF ME,

703
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,984
DON'T USE THAT ONE PICTURE OF

704
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,986
ME, PLEASE DON'T-- AW, FUCK!

705
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,989
COME ON.

706
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,490
THAT'S TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT!

707
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:55,560
I WAS SAYING HI TO A FRIEND!"

708
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:56,561
SO CLEARLY, AGENTS HAVE TO PUT

709
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,063
UP WITH AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF

710
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,564
SHIT, WHILE DOING AN UTTERLY

711
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:00,999
EXHAUSTING JOB-- WHERE

712
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,501
INCIDENTALLY, THE STARTING

713
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,102
SALARY IS JUST OVER $49,000 A

714
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,004
YEAR.

715
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,505
AND WHILE YOU CAN BRING THAT UP

716
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:08,506
THROUGH THINGS LIKE LOCALITY PAY

717
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,508
AND OTHER BENEFITS, THOSE CAN

718
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:11,509
ONLY GO SO FAR, SINCE THEY'RE

719
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,143
ALSO SUBJECT TO A FEDERAL SALARY

720
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,511
CAP.

721
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:16,014
SO ONCE YOU HIT THAT ANNUAL CAP,

722
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,016
EVEN IF IT'S ONLY SEPTEMBER, YOU

723
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,018
CAN'T THEN GET PAID ANY MORE,

724
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,519
MEANING THAT AFTER A CERTAIN

725
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:22,120
POINT, YOUR OVERTIME HOURS ARE

726
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,521
WORKED FOR FREE.

727
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:24,522
AND WHILE A FEW YEARS BACK,

728
00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:26,524
CONGRESS STEPPED IN AND PASSED

729
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,058
LEGISLATION THAT PROVIDES

730
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,027
OVERTIME FOR STAFFERS WHO WORK

731
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,529
IN PROTECTION, THAT MEASURE

732
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,031
NOTABLY EXPIRES IN 2028-- A

733
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,533
FACT CONVENIENTLY LEFT OUT OF

734
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,035
THAT SUPER BOWL RECRUITMENT AD.

735
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,037
AND THE THING IS, THAT'S JUST

736
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:39,637
THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG WHEN IT

737
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:40,205
COMES TO THE AGENCY'S BUDGET

738
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,539
ISSUES.

739
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,541
BECAUSE FOR AS HIGH AS THE

740
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:44,175
STAKES OF THEIR JOB ARE, THEY'VE

741
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,044
CONSISTENTLY BEEN STRETCHED

742
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,545
WORRYINGLY THIN IN TERMS OF

743
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,047
MANPOWER AND RESOURCES.

744
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,049
IN FACT, THERE'S EVEN A MOTTO

745
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,051
MANY AGENTS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO

746
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,552
USE: "WE DO MORE WITH LESS"--

747
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:55,186
AN ATTITUDE THAT CAN MANIFEST IN

748
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,554
A NUMBER OF WAYS.

749
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:58,056
FOR INSTANCE, YEARS AGO THE

750
00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,557
AGENCY REQUESTED FUNDING TO

751
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:00,558
BUILD A DETAILED REPLICA OF THE

752
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:02,560
WHITE HOUSE TO HELP TRAIN

753
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,062
OFFICERS AND AGENTS TO PROTECT

754
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:04,429
THE REAL THING.

755
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,064
WHICH MAKES SENSE.

756
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,066
BUT IT'S NEVER BEEN BUILT.

757
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,567
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW

758
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:10,568
THEY'VE SOMETIMES HAD TO TRAIN

759
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:13,071
INSTEAD, JUST WATCH THIS.

760
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,572
>> SO, THIS BIKE RACK IS HOW YOU

761
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:15,573
DO YOUR WHITE HOUSE FENCE

762
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:17,075
TRAINING?

763
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,576
>> YEAH, THIS BIKE RACK IS A

764
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,078
REPRESENTATION OF WHAT WE HAVE

765
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:20,578
AS THE NORTH FENCE LINE

766
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:22,580
DOWNTOWN.

767
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:23,081
>> AND THE WHITE HOUSE?

768
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:24,082
>> THE WHITE HOUSE IS THE TREES

769
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,084
YOU SEE BACK THERE.

770
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,585
>> SERGEANT DARRIONE NALL SAYS

771
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:30,588
HIS OFFICERS HAVE TO USE THEIR

772
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:31,589
IMAGINATION, RUNNING THROUGH

773
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:32,590
TREES AS IF THEY WERE ROOMS IN

774
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:34,092
THE WHITE HOUSE.

775
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,093
HOW MUCH OF A DISADVANTAGE IS

776
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:35,527
THAT FROM A TRAINING

777
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:36,094
PERSPECTIVE?

778
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:36,528
>> IT CAN BE A HUGE

779
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,596
DISADVANTAGE.

780
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:40,598
>> John: YEAH, THEY HAVE TO USE

781
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,600
THEIR IMAGINATION-- AND

782
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,102
PICTURING SOMETHING CRUCIAL FOR

783
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,603
YOUR JOB CLEARLY ISN'T WHAT YOUR

784
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:47,105
IMAGINATION IS FOR.

785
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,107
IT SHOULD BE FOR WHIMSICAL

786
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:50,108
FLIGHTS OF FANTASY, LIKE

787
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,609
PICTURING YOURSELF ON A BEACH,

788
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,111
OR FLOATING IN A TRANQUIL POOL

789
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:55,113
OR GETTING YOUR SKIN PEELED LIKE

790
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,614
AN ORANGE SLOWLY FROM TOP TO

791
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:57,615
BOTTOM OR TAKING A ROMANTIC

792
00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:58,183
CRUISE OR SOARING AMONG THE

793
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:00,118
STARS OR THE UNPEELING

794
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,619
CONTINUING DOWN YOUR SHOULDERS

795
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:02,253
NOW, IT DOESN'T HURT, YOU'RE NOT

796
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,122
HURTING AN ORANGE WHEN YOU DO

797
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:04,689
IT, THE ORANGE LIKES IT, IT

798
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:06,624
FEELS FINE.

799
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,126
OR FALLING SOFTLY ONTO A CUSHY

800
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:10,628
CLOUD OR THE FEELING OF THE PEEL

801
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:11,196
GOING DOWN THE SMALL OF YOUR

802
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:13,131
BACK, A CHILL AS YOU WONDER WHAT

803
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:14,132
SENSATIONS YOUR NEW SKIN WILL

804
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,133
BRING, OR NICE, HOT SOUP ON A

805
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,634
SNOWY DAY!

806
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,136
OR THE PEEL HAS REACHED YOUR

807
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:20,138
THIGHS NOW AND I LIED BEFORE IT

808
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:20,672
DOES HURT A LITTLE THAT'S

809
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,640
ACTUALLY PART OF IT EVERY ORANGE

810
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,642
WOULD SCREAM IF IT COULD AND

811
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:26,644
THEN YOU STEP OUT OF YOUR PEEL

812
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:27,245
AND YOU'RE NEW BUT YOU'RE ALSO

813
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:27,846
THE YOU THAT'S BEEN INSIDE YOU

814
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,647
THIS WHOLE TIME AND NOW THEY'LL

815
00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:31,149
SEE, NOW THEY'LL ALL SEE, THE

816
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:33,151
REAL YOU WON'T BE DENIED, CAN'T

817
00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:37,655
BE DENIED, OR A NICE WALK.

818
00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:38,256
YOU KNOW, JUST REGULAR THINGS

819
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:38,890
THAT WE ALL USE OUR IMAGINATION

820
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:42,660
FOR.

821
00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:43,661
ANYWAY, IT'S NOW GOTTEN TO THE

822
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:46,664
POINT WHERE THE AGENCY'S EVEN

823
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:47,265
SENT AGENTS TO TRAIN AT AN 80%

824
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:48,166
SCALE MOCK WHITE HOUSE IN

825
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:49,167
ATLANTA.

826
00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:49,734
AND NOT JUST ANY MOCK WHITE

827
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,669
HOUSE!

828
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:54,672
ONE BUILT AS A TV SET BY TYLER

829
00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,174
PERRY FOR THIS SOAPY DRAMA THAT

830
00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:58,176
RAN FOR SEVEN SEASONS.

831
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:03,681
HERE'S JUST A TASTE.

832
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:04,315
>> WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU

833
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,184
ARE?

834
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:08,186
>> YOU ARE NOT LEAVING.

835
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:11,189
TASE HER.

836
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:18,197
>> I WISH YOU WOULD.

837
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:20,798
>> IF I HAVE TO COME BACK, ONE

838
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:21,199
OF YOU WILL DIE.

839
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,700
>> John: FROM ONE SOAP ACTOR TO

840
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,702
ANOTHER-- RESPECT.

841
00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:27,205
SO THE AGENCY'S OFTEN STRETCHED

842
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,206
EXTREMELY THIN-- AND THAT'S

843
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:28,806
HAPPENED EVEN AS THEIR DUTIES

844
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,209
HAVE INCREASED.

845
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:31,776
DURING THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL

846
00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:35,713
ELECTION, THEY REPORTED HAVING

847
00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:36,281
TO PROTECT AS MANY AS 43

848
00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:37,215
INDIVIDUALS AROUND THE CLOCK.

849
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:39,717
AND NOW TRUMP'S IN OFFICE AGAIN,

850
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,719
THEY'VE BEEN EXTREMELY BUSY, AS

851
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:42,353
THE TRUMPS TEND TO TAKE A LOT OF

852
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:43,721
FAMILY TRIPS.

853
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:46,224
FOR CONTEXT: WHERE OBAMA'S

854
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:48,226
FAMILY TOOK AROUND 133 PROTECTED

855
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:50,728
TRIPS PER YEAR, DURING TRUMP'S

856
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:51,296
FIRST TERM ALONE, HIS FAMILY

857
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:57,235
TOOK THE TRUMP FAMILY WATCHING

858
00:23:57,236 --> 00:24:00,738
1600.

859
00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:01,372
AND IF THE TRUMP FAMILY WATCHING

860
00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:02,240
THIS RIGHT NOW, WHO'S LEARNING

861
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:02,874
FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE REST

862
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:03,441
OF YOUR FAMILY'S BEEN TAKING

863
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,008
OVER 1600 TRIPS WITHOUT YOU,

864
00:24:04,009 --> 00:24:04,642
THEN I'M TRULY SORRY YOU HAD TO

865
00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:05,243
FIND OUT THIS WAY, WHOEVER YOU

866
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:11,749
ARE, ERIC.

867
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:12,383
AND IT'S NOT JUST THE TRUMPS--

868
00:24:12,384 --> 00:24:13,751
AGENTS HAVE ALSO GRUMBLED ABOUT

869
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:14,352
THE DEMANDS JD VANCE'S FAMILY

870
00:24:14,353 --> 00:24:15,253
PUT ON THEM, ESPECIALLY AS THEY

871
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:16,254
APPARENTLY FREQUENTLY CHANGE

872
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:17,255
PLANS WITHOUT WARNING, FORCING

873
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:19,257
AGENTS TO CANCEL THEIR DAYS OFF,

874
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:20,258
DROP OTHER PLANS AND OFTEN RACE

875
00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:22,260
TO THE LOCATION THEY'RE NEEDED,

876
00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:23,761
WHILE ALSO HAVING TO COME UP

877
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,763
WITH SECURITY PLANS IN A HURRY.

878
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:27,265
IN FACT, FRUSTRATION OVER

879
00:24:27,266 --> 00:24:29,767
ACCOMMODATING VANCE'S SCHEDULE

880
00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:31,269
IS SO COMMON, AGENTS ON HIS

881
00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:31,836
DETAIL APPARENTLY EVEN MADE

882
00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:32,403
CUSTOM COINS AND STICKERS TO

883
00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:35,273
MOCK IT.

884
00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:36,774
THEY READ BOBCAT OTR SURVIVORS

885
00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:38,276
CLUB-- "BOBCAT" BECAUSE THAT'S

886
00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:39,777
VANCE'S SECURITY CODENAME,

887
00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:41,779
"O-T-R" BECAUSE "OFF THE RECORD"

888
00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:43,781
IS THE TERM FOR HASTY, UNPLANNED

889
00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:44,382
TRIPS, AND COINS AND STICKERS

890
00:24:44,383 --> 00:24:49,287
BECAUSE I'M GUESSING THEY'RE NOT

891
00:24:49,288 --> 00:24:50,288
ALLOWED TO GET AWAY WITH

892
00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:50,855
T-SHIRTS THAT SAY "FUCK THIS

893
00:24:50,856 --> 00:24:54,292
GUY."

894
00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:55,293
THE POINT HERE IS: THE AGENCY'S

895
00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:55,827
CLEARLY UNDER SIGNIFICANT

896
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:56,461
STRAIN.

897
00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:57,795
BUT EVEN THAT DOESN'T COMPLETELY

898
00:24:57,796 --> 00:24:59,797
ACCOUNT FOR THE NUMBER OF

899
00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:01,299
INEXPLICABLE FUCKUPS THERE'VE

900
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:02,800
BEEN, WHICH HAVE HAPPENED AT AN

901
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:04,802
ACCELERATING RATE, EVER SINCE

902
00:25:04,803 --> 00:25:05,303
THE START OF THE OBAMA

903
00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:06,304
PRESIDENCY.

904
00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:07,305
THAT WAS A MOMENT WHEN

905
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:09,307
ADMITTEDLY, THEIR JOB DID BECOME

906
00:25:09,308 --> 00:25:11,309
MORE DIFFICULT, GIVEN THE AGENCY

907
00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:13,311
REPORTEDLY EXPERIENCED A 400%

908
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:13,845
INCREASE IN THE NUMBER OF

909
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:18,816
THREATS AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.

910
00:25:18,817 --> 00:25:19,817
AND IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHY

911
00:25:19,818 --> 00:25:20,385
VIOLENT THREATS WENT UP FROM

912
00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:20,985
THIS GUY TO THIS GUY, I'VE GOT

913
00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:24,822
SOME INTERESTING NEWS FOR YOU:

914
00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:25,323
YOU ARE A LIAR.

915
00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:26,824
AND WITH THREATS ON THE RISE,

916
00:25:26,825 --> 00:25:28,826
YOU'D THINK THE AGENCY WOULD'VE

917
00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:29,394
BEEN ON HIGH ALERT, WHICH IS

918
00:25:29,395 --> 00:25:31,329
WHAT MAKES IT SO WEIRD THAT THEY

919
00:25:31,330 --> 00:25:32,830
HAD A NUMBER OF SECURITY

920
00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:34,832
BREACHES AND SCANDALS, SOME OF

921
00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:35,833
WHICH YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN

922
00:25:35,834 --> 00:25:37,835
REMEMBER, LIKE THIS ONE.

923
00:25:37,836 --> 00:25:42,840
>> WASHINGTON, D.C.,

924
00:25:42,841 --> 00:25:44,842
SEPTEMBER 19TH, 2014.

925
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:47,845
AT 7:20 PM, 42-YEAR-OLD

926
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,847
OMAR J. GONZALEZ SCALES THE

927
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:52,350
IRON PERIMETER FENCE OF THE

928
00:25:52,351 --> 00:25:53,851
WHITE HOUSE AND RACES 70 YARDS

929
00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:55,353
ACROSS THE LAWN THROUGH THE

930
00:25:55,354 --> 00:25:58,856
NORTH PORTICO DOORS.

931
00:25:58,857 --> 00:26:00,358
>> GONZALEZ NOT ONLY SCALED THE

932
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:03,861
OUTSIDE FENCE, BUT HE GOT INSIDE

933
00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:04,462
THE WHITE HOUSE, WHICH WAS NOT

934
00:26:04,463 --> 00:26:05,863
LOCKED.

935
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:08,866
>> John: YEAH, A GUY RAN

936
00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:09,500
STRAIGHT IN-- AND WITH A KNIFE,

937
00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:11,369
BY THE WAY.

938
00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:12,870
THAT'S SHOCKING FOR A BUNCH OF

939
00:26:12,871 --> 00:26:14,372
REASONS, INCLUDING THAT THE

940
00:26:14,373 --> 00:26:16,874
WHITE HOUSE FRONT DOOR WASN'T

941
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:17,508
LOCKED-- IT'S LIKE FINDING OUT

942
00:26:17,509 --> 00:26:19,377
THE NUCLEAR CODES ARE

943
00:26:19,378 --> 00:26:22,380
"PASSWORD1234"-- I JUST ASSUMED

944
00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:23,881
IT'D BE MORE SECURE THAN THAT.

945
00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:25,883
BUT OF ALL THE CLOSE CALLS

946
00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:26,884
DURING THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION,

947
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:28,386
THE SCARIEST MIGHT'VE BEEN WHAT

948
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:32,890
HAPPENED IN 2011, WHEN A MAN

949
00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:33,524
AIMED A HIGHPOWERED RIFLE AT THE

950
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:34,158
WHITE HOUSE, AND FIRED AT LEAST

951
00:26:34,159 --> 00:26:34,892
EIGHT SHOTS.

952
00:26:34,893 --> 00:26:36,394
HE APPARENTLY HARBORED PARANOID

953
00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:37,395
BELIEFS, INCLUDING THAT OBAMA

954
00:26:37,396 --> 00:26:38,896
WAS THE ANTI-CHRIST, AND THAT HE

955
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:39,897
HIMSELF WAS THE MODERN DAY JESUS

956
00:26:39,898 --> 00:26:40,531
AND, TO BE FAIR, WHEN YOU SEE A

957
00:26:40,532 --> 00:26:42,400
PICTURE OF HIM...

958
00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:45,403
YOU CAN KINDA SEE IT.

959
00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:46,904
ANYWAY, THOSE BULLETS HIT THE

960
00:26:46,905 --> 00:26:48,406
WHITE HOUSE, WITH SEVERAL

961
00:26:48,407 --> 00:26:49,040
HITTING THE PART OF THE BUILDING

962
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:49,607
WHERE THE PRESIDENT AND HIS

963
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:52,410
FAMILY LIVE.

964
00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:53,411
BUT THE SECRET SERVICE INITIALLY

965
00:26:53,412 --> 00:26:56,914
WROTE THE INCIDENT OFF AS GANG

966
00:26:56,915 --> 00:26:57,415
MEMBERS WHO ENGAGED IN A

967
00:26:57,416 --> 00:26:58,049
GUNFIGHT NEAR THE WHITE HOUSE'S

968
00:26:58,050 --> 00:26:58,916
FRONT LAWN.

969
00:26:58,917 --> 00:27:00,918
IN FACT, IT TOOK THEM "FOUR

970
00:27:00,919 --> 00:27:02,420
DAYS" TO REALIZE THAT SHOTS HAD

971
00:27:02,421 --> 00:27:03,921
HIT THE WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE, A

972
00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:05,923
DISCOVERY THAT ONLY CAME ABOUT

973
00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:06,924
BECAUSE A HOUSEKEEPER NOTICED

974
00:27:06,925 --> 00:27:08,926
THE BROKEN GLASS AND A CHUNK OF

975
00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:09,927
CEMENT ON THE FLOOR.

976
00:27:09,928 --> 00:27:11,929
BUT PERHAPS THE STUPIDEST

977
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:12,563
INCIDENT IN THE OBAMA YEARS HAD

978
00:27:12,564 --> 00:27:14,432
NOTHING TO DO WITH A LACK OF

979
00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:16,434
RESOURCES, AND MORE TO DO WITH

980
00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:16,934
THE AGENCY HAVING SOME

981
00:27:16,935 --> 00:27:19,437
ENTRENCHED CULTURAL PROBLEMS.

982
00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:20,438
IT HAPPENED IN CARTAGENA, AND

983
00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:22,440
THE QUICKEST EXPLANATION IS THAT

984
00:27:22,441 --> 00:27:23,941
AHEAD OF OBAMA'S VISIT TO

985
00:27:23,942 --> 00:27:24,942
COLOMBIA, MULTIPLE AGENTS, WHO

986
00:27:24,943 --> 00:27:26,944
WERE THERE PREPPING FOR HIS

987
00:27:26,945 --> 00:27:28,946
ARRIVAL, SPENT A NIGHT PARTYING,

988
00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:30,448
DRINKING LIKE MONSTERS, AND

989
00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:31,949
ALSO, DOING THIS.

990
00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:32,950
>> DANIA LONDOÑO SUAREZ SAYS THE

991
00:27:32,951 --> 00:27:34,452
THREE MEN THAT APPROACHED AND

992
00:27:34,453 --> 00:27:35,953
PROPOSITIONED HER AND HER

993
00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:37,455
FRIENDS, SHE ASSUMED THEY WERE

994
00:27:37,456 --> 00:27:39,457
TOURISTS, WERE DRINKING VODKA,

995
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:40,091
QUOTE, "LIKE IT WAS WATER," BUT

996
00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:41,959
WERE STILL COHERENT.

997
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,961
SHE SAYS SHE MADE IT CLEAR THAT

998
00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:44,962
A NIGHT WITH HER WOULD COST

999
00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:46,964
$800.

1000
00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:49,967
>> MUY CLARO.

1001
00:27:49,968 --> 00:27:54,472
>> THESE ARE VERY BASIC WORDS:

1002
00:27:54,473 --> 00:27:56,474
SEX, SEXO, CASH, MONEY, DINERO.

1003
00:27:56,475 --> 00:27:58,976
I MADE A SIGN WITH MY FINGERS SO

1004
00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:01,979
THAT HE COULDN'T PRETEND I WAS

1005
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:03,481
CHARGING $80 OR $0.80 CENTS.

1006
00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:03,981
OKAY.

1007
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:04,982
NO PROBLEM.

1008
00:28:04,983 --> 00:28:06,984
LET'S GO.

1009
00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:07,985
>> SHE SAYS AFTER WHAT SHE

1010
00:28:07,986 --> 00:28:08,586
DESCRIBES AS "NORMAL SEX," HE

1011
00:28:08,587 --> 00:28:09,987
FELL ASLEEP.

1012
00:28:09,988 --> 00:28:11,489
THAT SHE COULD'VE GONE THROUGH

1013
00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,491
OR STOLEN EVERYTHING IN HIS

1014
00:28:13,492 --> 00:28:14,492
ROOM, BUT DIDN'T.

1015
00:28:14,493 --> 00:28:15,493
>> John: RIGHT, THAT'S A

1016
00:28:15,494 --> 00:28:16,494
PROBLEM.

1017
00:28:16,495 --> 00:28:17,995
AND AFTERWARDS, A NUMBER OF

1018
00:28:17,996 --> 00:28:18,996
CONCERNS WERE RAISED, INCLUDING

1019
00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,998
THAT-- WHILE THOSE AGENTS WERE

1020
00:28:20,999 --> 00:28:21,999
ASLEEP-- THOSE WOMEN COULD'VE

1021
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,501
HAD ACCESS TO INFORMATION ABOUT

1022
00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:25,503
THE PRESIDENT'S WHEREABOUTS OR

1023
00:28:25,504 --> 00:28:27,505
SECURITY PROTOCOLS.

1024
00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:29,507
OR EVEN TRIED TO BLACKMAIL THEM.

1025
00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:30,141
ALTHOUGH HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW

1026
00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:37,149
WHAT THAT WOMAN COULD'VE

1027
00:28:40,519 --> 00:28:42,520
THREATENED THAT AGENT WITH THAT

1028
00:28:42,521 --> 00:28:43,120
WOULD BE MORE HUMILIATING THAN

1029
00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:43,754
DESCRIBING IT AS "NORMAL SEX" ON

1030
00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:44,021
THE NEWS.

1031
00:28:44,022 --> 00:28:45,022
LITERALLY JUST KILL ME.

1032
00:28:45,023 --> 00:28:45,656
NOT "FINE" OR "ADEQUATE" OR EVEN

1033
00:28:45,657 --> 00:28:46,290
"NOT GREAT BUT I RESPECT HE TOOK

1034
00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:46,691
SOME BIG SWINGS."

1035
00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:47,024
"NORMAL."

1036
00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:49,026
THE SETTING ON A WASHING MACHINE

1037
00:28:49,027 --> 00:28:50,528
YOU SELECT WHEN YOU'RE NOT

1038
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:51,162
COMPETENT ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT'S

1039
00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:56,534
REALLY NEEDED.

1040
00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,536
BUT WAIT, BECAUSE IT GETS WORSE,

1041
00:28:58,537 --> 00:28:59,136
ONCE THAT WOMAN WOKE THE AGENT

1042
00:28:59,137 --> 00:28:59,770
UP, HE APPARENTLY REFUSED TO PAY

1043
00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:00,404
THE $800 SHE SAID THEY'D AGREED

1044
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,038
ON-- LEADING LOCAL POLICE TO

1045
00:29:01,039 --> 00:29:02,039
GET INVOLVED, WITH OTHER AGENTS

1046
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,042
ULTIMATELY SCRAPING TOGETHER

1047
00:29:05,043 --> 00:29:06,544
ABOUT $250 TO TRY AND GET HER TO

1048
00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:07,545
LEAVE.

1049
00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:08,145
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE

1050
00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:08,546
GUYS?

1051
00:29:08,547 --> 00:29:11,549
>> [LAUGHS]

1052
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:12,550
>> YOU LAUGH.

1053
00:29:12,551 --> 00:29:14,552
WHY DO YOU LAUGH SO MUCH?

1054
00:29:14,553 --> 00:29:16,053
>> THEY SEEMED LIKE COMPLETELY

1055
00:29:16,054 --> 00:29:18,055
STUPID, IDIOTS.

1056
00:29:18,056 --> 00:29:19,056
I DON'T KNOW HOW OBAMA HAD THEM

1057
00:29:19,057 --> 00:29:20,558
IN HIS SECURITY FORCE.

1058
00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:23,060
WHAT DUMB MEN.

1059
00:29:23,061 --> 00:29:23,661
>> John: YEAH, THEY WERE VERY

1060
00:29:23,662 --> 00:29:24,562
DUMB!

1061
00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:25,563
THEIR BEHAVIOR COULD'VE

1062
00:29:25,564 --> 00:29:26,130
COMPROMISED THE PRESIDENT'S

1063
00:29:26,131 --> 00:29:30,067
SAFETY!

1064
00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:30,701
AND LOOK, WHILE I'M NOT SURE AN

1065
00:29:30,702 --> 00:29:32,069
ASSASSINATION COULD EVER BE MADE

1066
00:29:32,070 --> 00:29:33,070
WORSE, "THE PRESIDENT'S DEAD

1067
00:29:33,071 --> 00:29:35,573
BECAUSE A SECRET SERVICE AGENT

1068
00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:37,074
WANTED TO PAY TO DO C-MINUS SEX

1069
00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:37,675
AT SOMEONE" MIGHT JUST DO THE

1070
00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:40,077
TRICK.

1071
00:29:40,078 --> 00:29:41,579
NOW, THAT INCIDENT HIGHLIGHTED

1072
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:42,580
THE FACT THE SECRET SERVICE HAD

1073
00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:44,081
A PRETTY TOXIC CULTURE, WITH

1074
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:45,583
REPORTS IN THE WAKE OF IT

1075
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:46,584
CONTAINING DETAILS LIKE THE FACT

1076
00:29:46,585 --> 00:29:48,085
MARRIED AGENTS HAD BEEN HEARD TO

1077
00:29:48,086 --> 00:29:50,588
JOKE DURING AIRCRAFT TAKEOFF

1078
00:29:50,589 --> 00:29:51,589
THAT THEIR MOTTO WAS "WHEELS UP,

1079
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:55,159
RINGS OFF."

1080
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:55,726
WHICH OBVIOUSLY ISN'T GREAT,

1081
00:29:55,727 --> 00:29:56,327
EVEN IF IT DOES SOUND LIKE THE

1082
00:29:56,328 --> 00:29:57,662
ANSWER TO THE QUESTION "HOW DO

1083
00:29:57,663 --> 00:29:58,195
YOU SAFELY FIST LIGHTNING

1084
00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,097
MCQUEEN?"

1085
00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:00,631
AND WHILE THAT ADMITTEDLY

1086
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:02,099
HAPPENED OVER A DECADE AGO,

1087
00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:04,602
SINCE THEN, REPORTERS HAVE

1088
00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:07,104
REPEATEDLY SUGGESTED THERE'S A

1089
00:30:07,105 --> 00:30:08,105
SYSTEMIC CULTURE PROBLEM AT THE

1090
00:30:08,106 --> 00:30:10,107
AGENCY THAT HASN'T BEEN FIXED--

1091
00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:11,609
INCLUDING ALLEGATIONS IT'S BEEN

1092
00:30:11,610 --> 00:30:18,617
WEAKENED BY ARROGANT, INSULAR

1093
00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:26,691
LEADERSHIP, AND A PROMOTION

1094
00:30:26,692 --> 00:30:27,224
SYSTEM DRIVEN BY PERSONALY

1095
00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:28,125
RELATIONS RATHER THAN MERIT.

1096
00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:28,759
AND ALL OF THIS-- AN EXHAUSTED

1097
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,327
WORKFORCE STRETCHED WAY TOO

1098
00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:29,960
THIN, LIMITED RESOURCES AND SOME

1099
00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:30,594
TRULY POOR JUDGMENT-- ALL CAME

1100
00:30:30,595 --> 00:30:31,028
TO A HEAD IN BUTLER,

1101
00:30:31,029 --> 00:30:31,362
PENNSYLVANIA.

1102
00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:31,962
AFTER THAT INCIDENT, A LOT OF

1103
00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:32,596
WORRYING FACTS CAME OUT-- FROM

1104
00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:33,230
AGENTS COMMUNICATING POORLY WITH

1105
00:30:33,231 --> 00:30:34,131
STATE AND LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT,

1106
00:30:34,132 --> 00:30:35,132
TO NOT HAVING PERSONNEL SECURING

1107
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:37,134
THE BUILDING THE SHOOTER WAS ON,

1108
00:30:37,135 --> 00:30:39,136
TO THE FACT THAT, JUST TWO HOURS

1109
00:30:39,137 --> 00:30:40,638
BEFORE SHOTS WERE FIRED, THE

1110
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:42,139
SHOOTER EVEN MANAGED TO FLY A

1111
00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:44,141
DRONE AROUND THE RALLY SITE FOR

1112
00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:45,142
11 MINUTES.

1113
00:30:45,143 --> 00:30:48,145
WHICH CLEARLY ISN'T IDEAL.

1114
00:30:48,146 --> 00:30:49,647
NOR IS IT IDEAL THAT, WHILE THE

1115
00:30:49,648 --> 00:30:50,648
SECRET SERVICE HAD BROUGHT A

1116
00:30:50,649 --> 00:30:52,149
DRONE DETECTION SYSTEM WITH THEM

1117
00:30:52,150 --> 00:30:53,651
THAT LIKELY WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE

1118
00:30:53,652 --> 00:30:55,152
TO GEOLOCATE THE SHOOTER, THEY

1119
00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:56,654
COULDN'T USE IT, BECAUSE THERE

1120
00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:57,655
WAS A TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT AN

1121
00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:58,656
AGENT STRUGGLED FOR

1122
00:30:58,657 --> 00:31:00,157
APPROXIMATELY FIVE HOURS TO FIX,

1123
00:31:00,158 --> 00:31:01,659
TRYING THINGS LIKE "SHUTTING THE

1124
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:03,160
SYSTEM DOWN AND POWERING IT BACK

1125
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:05,162
UP," AND CALLING TECH SUPPORT

1126
00:31:05,163 --> 00:31:07,665
WHO SUGGESTED "THE SYSTEM MAY

1127
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:09,166
NEED A SOFTWARE UPDATE," BEFORE

1128
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:09,800
EVENTUALLY TELLING THEM TO "SWAP

1129
00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,169
OUT THE ETHERNET CABLE."

1130
00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:13,671
BUT AS THEY DIDN'T HAVE ONE OF

1131
00:31:13,672 --> 00:31:15,673
THOSE, THEY ULTIMATELY HAD TO

1132
00:31:15,674 --> 00:31:16,674
BORROW ONE FROM THE NEARBY TRUMP

1133
00:31:16,675 --> 00:31:17,174
CAMPAIGN'S AUDIO-VISUAL

1134
00:31:17,175 --> 00:31:20,177
PERSONNEL.

1135
00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:21,679
THANKFULLY, THAT CABLE FINALLY

1136
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,180
WORKED-- BUT UNFORTUNATELY, IT

1137
00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:25,182
WAS ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AFTER THE

1138
00:31:25,183 --> 00:31:25,716
SHOOTER'S DRONE FLIGHT HAD

1139
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:26,684
ENDED.

1140
00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:28,185
WHICH IS A PRETTY TOUGH MOMENT

1141
00:31:28,186 --> 00:31:31,188
FOR THE SECRET SERVICE BUT

1142
00:31:31,189 --> 00:31:33,190
HONESTLY A PRETTY HUGE MOMENT

1143
00:31:33,191 --> 00:31:34,692
FOR THE RANDOM DRAWER IN MY

1144
00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:36,694
HOUSE IN WHICH I'VE ACCUMULATED

1145
00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:40,698
12 DIFFERENT ETHERNET CABLES.

1146
00:31:40,699 --> 00:31:42,199
WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOKS LIKE I

1147
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,203
WASN'T SUCH A FOOL AFTER ALL.

1148
00:31:46,204 --> 00:31:47,705
I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY THREE

1149
00:31:47,706 --> 00:31:49,707
MISMATCHED AIRPODS AND MY CD

1150
00:31:49,708 --> 00:31:53,711
COPY OF ROLLERCOASTER TYCOON TO

1151
00:31:53,712 --> 00:31:54,712
ALSO BE PROVEN CRITICAL SOMEHOW

1152
00:31:54,713 --> 00:31:55,212
TO THE NATION'S SAFETY.

1153
00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:56,714
BUT IT'S WORTH NOTING: THE

1154
00:31:56,715 --> 00:31:58,215
AGENCY SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN

1155
00:31:58,216 --> 00:32:01,218
NEEDED A DRONE TO SEE SOMETHING

1156
00:32:01,219 --> 00:32:03,220
WAS OFF, AS THIS TRUMP SUPPORTER

1157
00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:04,722
WHO WAS AT THE RALLY POINTS OUT.

1158
00:32:04,723 --> 00:32:08,726
>> WE NOTICED A GUY CRAWLING,

1159
00:32:08,727 --> 00:32:11,729
YOU KNOW, BEAR CRAWLING UP THE

1160
00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:13,731
ROOF OF THE BUILDING BESIDE US.

1161
00:32:13,732 --> 00:32:15,733
50 FEET AWAY FROM US.

1162
00:32:15,734 --> 00:32:16,300
SO WE'RE STANDING THERE, YOU

1163
00:32:16,301 --> 00:32:18,235
KNOW, WE'RE POINTING AT THE GUY.

1164
00:32:18,236 --> 00:32:19,737
I'M THINKING TO MYSELF "WHY IS

1165
00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:21,238
TRUMP STILL SPEAKING, WHY HAVE

1166
00:32:21,239 --> 00:32:21,806
THEY NOT PULLED HIM OFF THE

1167
00:32:21,807 --> 00:32:23,240
STAGE."

1168
00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:25,242
I'M STANDING THERE POINTING AT

1169
00:32:25,243 --> 00:32:27,244
HIM FOR TWO, THREE MINUTES.

1170
00:32:27,245 --> 00:32:29,246
SECRET SERVICE IS LOOKING AT US

1171
00:32:29,247 --> 00:32:30,748
FROM THE TOP OF THE BARN.

1172
00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:32,750
I'M POINTING AT THAT ROOF, JUST

1173
00:32:32,751 --> 00:32:36,253
STANDING THERE LIKE THIS.

1174
00:32:36,254 --> 00:32:36,854
AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, FIVE

1175
00:32:36,855 --> 00:32:38,756
SHOTS RING OUT.

1176
00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:39,390
>> John: YEAH, IT'S PRETTY BAD!

1177
00:32:39,391 --> 00:32:39,757
THOUGH, LISTEN.

1178
00:32:39,758 --> 00:32:42,259
IN THE SECRET SERVICE'S DEFENSE:

1179
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:43,761
WHILE THEY MADE A LOT OF

1180
00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:45,763
MISTAKES THAT DAY, I'M NOT

1181
00:32:45,764 --> 00:32:47,264
COMPLETELY SURE THAT IGNORING

1182
00:32:47,265 --> 00:32:49,767
THIS GUY WAS ONE OF THEM.

1183
00:32:49,768 --> 00:32:51,268
BECAUSE IF I WAS SCANNING AN

1184
00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:52,770
AREA FOR THREATS AND SAW THIS

1185
00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:55,439
MAN-- WITH HIS VISOR FEATURING

1186
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,774
FAKE TRUMP HAIR, AND A BEER IN

1187
00:32:56,775 --> 00:32:58,776
HAND EVEN WHEN TALKING TO THE

1188
00:32:58,777 --> 00:33:00,778
NEWS-- SHOUTING AND WAVING HIS

1189
00:33:00,779 --> 00:33:01,779
ARMS AROUND WILDLY, I WOULDN'T

1190
00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,280
ASSUME HE'S TRYING TO WARN ME

1191
00:33:03,281 --> 00:33:05,282
ABOUT A THREAT, I'D JUST ASSUME

1192
00:33:05,283 --> 00:33:06,784
HE WAS HAVING A MELTDOWN BECAUSE

1193
00:33:06,785 --> 00:33:07,351
HE JUST TOOK FOURTH IN A GUY

1194
00:33:07,352 --> 00:33:10,287
FIERI LOOKALIKE CONTEST.

1195
00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:11,789
AND IN ADDITION TO ALL THE

1196
00:33:11,790 --> 00:33:13,791
OBVIOUS MISTAKES THAT DAY, ONE

1197
00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:15,793
REVIEW CONDUCTED AFTERWARD FOUND

1198
00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:17,795
THAT AGENTS HAD REPORTED 1.2

1199
00:33:17,796 --> 00:33:18,362
MILLION OVERTIME HOURS THAT

1200
00:33:18,363 --> 00:33:20,297
YEAR, WITH CONSECUTIVE SHIFTS

1201
00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,298
AND LITTLE RECUPERATIVE REST,

1202
00:33:21,299 --> 00:33:22,800
WHICH HAD CONTRIBUTED TO BURNOUT

1203
00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:23,801
AND ATTRITION.

1204
00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:25,302
MEANWHILE, A DIFFERENT REVIEW

1205
00:33:25,303 --> 00:33:26,804
FOUND THERE WERE CORROSIVE

1206
00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:27,805
CULTURAL ATTITUDES REGARDING

1207
00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:30,808
RESOURCING AND "DOING MORE WITH

1208
00:33:30,809 --> 00:33:32,810
LESS," BEFORE CONCLUDING: THE

1209
00:33:32,811 --> 00:33:33,811
SECRET SERVICE AS AN AGENCY

1210
00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:34,812
REQUIRES FUNDAMENTAL REFORM TO

1211
00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,814
CARRY OUT ITS MISSION.

1212
00:33:36,815 --> 00:33:38,315
WITHOUT THAT REFORM, ANOTHER

1213
00:33:38,316 --> 00:33:38,849
BUTLER CAN AND WILL HAPPEN

1214
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:39,817
AGAIN."

1215
00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:44,822
SO, WHAT DO WE DO?

1216
00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:45,823
WELL, OBVIOUSLY GIVING THE

1217
00:33:45,824 --> 00:33:46,390
AGENCY MORE FUNDING WOULDN'T

1218
00:33:46,391 --> 00:33:47,391
HURT, IF IT'S SPENT WISELY ON

1219
00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:48,325
THINGS LIKE FIXING THEIR

1220
00:33:48,326 --> 00:33:50,327
OVERTIME, OR FINALLY BUILDING

1221
00:33:50,328 --> 00:33:50,928
THAT MOCK WHITE HOUSE TO TRAIN

1222
00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:51,829
ON.

1223
00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:53,330
WE COULD ALSO TAKE SOME

1224
00:33:53,331 --> 00:33:54,331
RESPONSIBILITIES OFF THEIR PLATE

1225
00:33:54,332 --> 00:33:57,334
AND MAYBE EVEN REMOVE THEM FROM

1226
00:33:57,335 --> 00:33:59,336
THE BUREAUCRACY OF DHS-- WHERE

1227
00:33:59,337 --> 00:33:59,937
THEY'VE BEEN STUCK SINCE AFTER

1228
00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:00,337
9/11.

1229
00:34:00,338 --> 00:34:01,338
ALSO, WE COULD STEP UP

1230
00:34:01,339 --> 00:34:02,840
RECRUITING-- WHICH THEY HAVE

1231
00:34:02,841 --> 00:34:05,342
BEEN TRYING TO DO.

1232
00:34:05,343 --> 00:34:06,343
IT'S NOT JUST THAT SUPER BOWL AD

1233
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:09,847
-- THEY'RE ALSO REPORTEDLY

1234
00:34:09,848 --> 00:34:10,447
BEEN SPENDING $90 MILLION ON A

1235
00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:12,349
NATIONWIDE ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN

1236
00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:12,983
WITH A GOAL OF ATTRACTING ABOUT

1237
00:34:12,984 --> 00:34:14,852
80,000 APPLICANTS.

1238
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:17,354
BUT THE HARD TRUTH IS, MONEY AND

1239
00:34:17,355 --> 00:34:19,857
RECRUITMENT WON'T TURN NEWER

1240
00:34:19,858 --> 00:34:22,359
AGENTS INTO SENIOR AGENTS AND IT

1241
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:22,860
DEFINITELY WON'T FIX THE

1242
00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:24,361
ENTRENCHED CULTURAL ISSUES.

1243
00:34:24,362 --> 00:34:25,863
IN FACT, AS ONE OF THOSE REVIEWS

1244
00:34:25,864 --> 00:34:28,365
AFTER BUTLER PUT IT, "EVEN AN

1245
00:34:28,366 --> 00:34:29,867
UNLIMITED BUDGET WOULD NOT, BY

1246
00:34:29,868 --> 00:34:31,368
ITSELF, REMEDIATE MANY OF THE

1247
00:34:31,369 --> 00:34:33,370
CAUSES OF THE FAILURES ON THAT

1248
00:34:33,371 --> 00:34:34,371
DAY."

1249
00:34:34,372 --> 00:34:35,873
AND THAT'S BECAUSE WHEN A

1250
00:34:35,874 --> 00:34:38,375
PROBLEM'S THIS PERSISTENT AND

1251
00:34:38,376 --> 00:34:39,376
CULTURAL, IT NEEDS A MUCH DEEPER

1252
00:34:39,377 --> 00:34:41,378
LEVEL OF INTERVENTION.

1253
00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:43,380
LOOK, THIS JOB IDEALLY REQUIRES

1254
00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:44,381
PEOPLE WHO ARE INCREDIBLY BRAVE,

1255
00:34:44,382 --> 00:34:46,383
AND INCREDIBLY SKILLED.

1256
00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:49,386
IT'S A JOB THAT I PERSONALLY

1257
00:34:49,387 --> 00:34:51,388
COULDN'T, AND SHOULDN'T, DO.

1258
00:34:51,389 --> 00:34:53,390
BUT THE VERY FACT IT'S SUCH AN

1259
00:34:53,391 --> 00:34:55,392
IMPORTANT JOB MEANS THAT THE

1260
00:34:55,393 --> 00:34:56,894
AGENCY HAVING AN INSULAR CULTURE

1261
00:34:56,895 --> 00:34:57,895
BUILT AROUND "DOING MORE WITH

1262
00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:00,397
LESS" ISN'T JUST EXHAUSTING FOR

1263
00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:02,399
THE AGENTS INVOLVED, IT'S

1264
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,901
ACTIVELY RECKLESS.

1265
00:35:03,902 --> 00:35:05,402
AND UNTIL THAT'S PROPERLY

1266
00:35:05,403 --> 00:35:06,904
ADDRESSED, MAYBE THE AGENCY

1267
00:35:06,905 --> 00:35:07,905
SHOULD STOP PROMOTING ITSELF TO

1268
00:35:07,906 --> 00:35:09,907
PROSPECTIVE RECRUITS AS BEING

1269
00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:11,408
THE HOME OF UNFLAPPABLE

1270
00:35:11,409 --> 00:35:13,410
BADASSES, LIVING THE LIFE OF

1271
00:35:13,411 --> 00:35:14,912
ACTION MOVIE HEROES, AND INSTEAD

1272
00:35:14,913 --> 00:35:16,413
BE MORE HONEST ABOUT THE JOB

1273
00:35:16,414 --> 00:35:16,981
PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY APPLYING

1274
00:35:16,982 --> 00:35:19,917
FOR.

1275
00:35:19,918 --> 00:35:24,421
♪ ♪

1276
00:35:24,422 --> 00:35:27,424
>> AMERICA WAS FOUNDED IN ON AN

1277
00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:28,425
IDEA OF FREEDOM.

1278
00:35:28,426 --> 00:35:30,027
AMERICA ALWAYS ANSWERED THE CALL

1279
00:35:30,028 --> 00:35:31,428
WHEN EVER WE NEEDED HER MOST.

1280
00:35:31,429 --> 00:35:34,431
AND THE SECRET SERVICE--, CAN WE

1281
00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,433
GET A DIFFERENT PRESIDENT?

1282
00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:38,936
REALLY JUST ANY OF OUR LESS SHOT

1283
00:35:38,937 --> 00:35:40,437
AT PRESIDENTS?

1284
00:35:40,438 --> 00:35:41,038
SURE.

1285
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:41,505
WILL DO.

1286
00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:43,540
WE'VE BEEN THERE THROUGH THICK

1287
00:35:43,541 --> 00:35:44,041
AND THIN.

1288
00:35:44,042 --> 00:35:45,943
AND NOW AMERICA IS LOOKING FOR

1289
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:47,945
THE NEXT GENERATION OF HEROES.

1290
00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:49,947
ARE YOU READY TO PROTECT THE

1291
00:35:49,948 --> 00:35:51,448
LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD WHILE

1292
00:35:51,449 --> 00:35:53,450
LOOKING COOL AS?

1293
00:35:53,451 --> 00:35:55,019
THEN THE SECRET SERVICE MAY NOT

1294
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:56,453
ACTUALLY BE FOR YOU.

1295
00:35:56,454 --> 00:35:57,955
>> I'M SORRY, WHAT?

1296
00:35:57,956 --> 00:36:00,457
>> SURE THIS JOB HAS SOME ACTION

1297
00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:01,959
AND ADVENTURE BUT A LOT OF THE

1298
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,961
TIME IT'S JUST THIS.

1299
00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:04,461
>> HI.

1300
00:36:04,462 --> 00:36:05,963
SO THE PRESIDENT'S IN TOWN.

1301
00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:07,064
>> I KNOW.

1302
00:36:07,065 --> 00:36:07,464
COME ON.

1303
00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:09,133
I GOT HIS TICKETS.

1304
00:36:09,134 --> 00:36:11,468
>> LET ME GET MY JACKET.

1305
00:36:11,469 --> 00:36:12,770
>> THAT'S RIGHT, SOMETIMES

1306
00:36:12,771 --> 00:36:14,471
AMERICA JUST NEEDS YOU TO

1307
00:36:14,472 --> 00:36:15,472
BABYSIT A GUY.

1308
00:36:15,473 --> 00:36:19,476
>> IT'S MY FAVORITE MOVIE.

1309
00:36:19,477 --> 00:36:21,478
GUESS MY FAVORITE MOVIE.

1310
00:36:21,479 --> 00:36:22,980
>> TAXI DRIVER.

1311
00:36:22,981 --> 00:36:24,481
>> YOU NEED TO SEE THE THREATS

1312
00:36:24,482 --> 00:36:25,983
OTHERS CAN'T AND ALSO TO SEE A

1313
00:36:25,984 --> 00:36:27,484
BIKE RACK AND PRETEND IT'S THE

1314
00:36:27,485 --> 00:36:33,490
WHITE HOUSE.

1315
00:36:33,491 --> 00:36:33,957
>> YOU'RE DISARMED.

1316
00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:34,591
>> BECAUSE THIS IS A JOB WHERE

1317
00:36:34,592 --> 00:36:35,192
WE PROTECT OUR LEADERS AROUND

1318
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:37,494
THE CLOCK.

1319
00:36:37,495 --> 00:36:44,001
OCCASIONALLY GET ON BY THEM.

1320
00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:45,135
>> HE'S STILL GOING.

1321
00:36:45,136 --> 00:36:46,003
HE'S DONE THAT IN.

1322
00:36:46,004 --> 00:36:47,504
OH, HE'S STILL GOING.

1323
00:36:47,505 --> 00:36:49,606
>> SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO STAND

1324
00:36:49,607 --> 00:36:50,708
OUTSIDE THE DOOR WHILE THEY

1325
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,509
CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES AND ACT AS

1326
00:36:52,510 --> 00:36:55,112
CHEW TOYS FOR THEIR DOGS.

1327
00:36:55,113 --> 00:36:57,014
>> DID YOU BRING YOUR OWN BUTTER

1328
00:36:57,015 --> 00:36:58,515
FROM HOME?

1329
00:36:58,516 --> 00:37:01,018
>> THIS ISN'T BUTTER.

1330
00:37:01,019 --> 00:37:01,618
>> YOU MIGHT ALSO GET TO USE

1331
00:37:01,619 --> 00:37:04,021
YOUR INVESTIGATIVE SKILLS TO

1332
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:08,025
HELP BREAK CRACKDOWN ON ONE OF

1333
00:37:08,026 --> 00:37:08,692
AMERICA'S GREATEST THREATS.

1334
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:11,528
>> WE'VE GOT A CODE RED, CODE

1335
00:37:11,529 --> 00:37:12,029
RED!

1336
00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:15,532
>> MOST PEOPLE JUST TAP NOW.

1337
00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:15,733
OKAY.

1338
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:20,537
ARE YOU GOING TO BUY SOMETHING?

1339
00:37:20,538 --> 00:37:23,040
>> YOU KNOW, FUN FACT.

1340
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:24,742
ABRAHAM LINCOLN IRONICALLY

1341
00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:25,042
STARTED--

1342
00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:26,543
>> YOU HAVE TO BUY SOMETHING OR

1343
00:37:26,544 --> 00:37:28,045
YOU HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT.

1344
00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:29,546
>> WE NEED THE BEST OF THE BEST

1345
00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:31,548
WHO CAN DO THE MOST WITH THE

1346
00:37:31,549 --> 00:37:33,050
ABSOLUTE LEAST.

1347
00:37:33,051 --> 00:37:34,551
>> YES I TRIED TO TURN IT OFF

1348
00:37:34,552 --> 00:37:34,885
AND ON AGAIN.

1349
00:37:34,886 --> 00:37:37,187
DO WE HAVE ANY ETHERNET CABLES?

1350
00:37:37,188 --> 00:37:39,556
WHY WOULD I BRING TWO ETHERNET

1351
00:37:39,557 --> 00:37:40,057
CABLES?

1352
00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:40,824
>> HEY COME ON THERE'S A WEIRD

1353
00:37:40,825 --> 00:37:44,161
LOOKING GUY ON THE ROOF OVER

1354
00:37:44,162 --> 00:37:44,561
THERE.

1355
00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:46,230
>> DOES HE HAVE ANY ETHERNET

1356
00:37:46,231 --> 00:37:47,064
CABLES?

1357
00:37:47,065 --> 00:37:48,565
IF NOT NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME.

1358
00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:50,067
WHAT WAS THAT?

1359
00:37:50,068 --> 00:37:51,702
>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT WASN'T,

1360
00:37:51,703 --> 00:37:52,569
A GUN.

1361
00:37:52,570 --> 00:37:54,571
IT'S FIREWORKS OR GANGS.

1362
00:37:54,572 --> 00:37:57,207
>> WE NEED HEROES WITH STRICT

1363
00:37:57,208 --> 00:37:58,208
STOMACH STRENGTH WHO CAN PROTECT

1364
00:37:58,209 --> 00:38:00,077
THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE.

1365
00:38:00,078 --> 00:38:04,081
ALL THIS FOR A STARTING SALARY

1366
00:38:04,082 --> 00:38:05,582
OF $49,000 A YEAR.

1367
00:38:05,583 --> 00:38:08,585
>> WAIT, ARE YOU FUCK-I NG

1368
00:38:08,586 --> 00:38:09,153
SERIOUS?

1369
00:38:09,154 --> 00:38:11,088
THAT'S NOT A REAL NUMBER RIGHT?

1370
00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:14,091
>> WE ARE LOOKING FOR HEROES WHO

1371
00:38:14,092 --> 00:38:17,094
CAN ANSWER THE CALL.

1372
00:38:17,095 --> 00:38:19,596
THE PAY IS BAD.

1373
00:38:19,597 --> 00:38:21,165
AND YES SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET

1374
00:38:21,166 --> 00:38:23,600
SHOT AT BUT IT NEEDS GOOD

1375
00:38:23,601 --> 00:38:24,101
THOUGHTFUL PEOPLE.

1376
00:38:24,102 --> 00:38:26,603
PEOPLE WILLING TO GIVE 100% IN

1377
00:38:26,604 --> 00:38:27,704
SERVICE OF THE COUNTRY THEY

1378
00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:28,105
LOVE.

1379
00:38:28,106 --> 00:38:30,107
IF THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU,

1380
00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:33,178
- AMERICA'S READY--.
- ORG

1381
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:37,782
DOG APPEARED THE AMERICAN

1382
00:38:40,618 --> 00:38:41,151
>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

1383
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:41,785
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

1384
00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:42,286
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

1385
00:38:42,287 --> 00:38:42,619
GOODNIGHT!

1386
00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:43,086
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1387
00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:50,127
♪ ♪

1388
00:38:50,128 --> 00:38:52,129
WELCOME HOME, FRIEND.

1389
00:38:52,130 --> 00:38:55,132
WELCOME HOME.

1390
00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:57,201
>> DISARM THIS MAN USING ONLY MY

1391
00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:58,135
HAND.

1392
00:38:58,136 --> 00:39:02,639
>> WAIT, THERE'S MORE OF YOU.

1393
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,642
>> NO LOOK PUNCH!

1394
00:39:05,643 --> 00:39:09,146
NOW HE'S UNCONSCIOUS.

1395
00:39:09,147 --> 00:39:11,148
>> THANK YOU, SON, FOR SAVING MY

1396
00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:13,150
LIFE.

1397
00:39:13,151 --> 00:39:14,385
THANK YOU THANK YOU.