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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT"!

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK!

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FLAVIO BOLSONARO LOST BRAZIL'S

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ELECTION, HACKERS STOLE

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$6 BILLION FROM THE WORLD'S

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LARGEST CRYPTO EXCHANGE, AND THE

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BUFFALO BILLS PUT OUT A VIDEO

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EXPLAINING THE LAST THING YOU'D

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EXPECT, AND IT IS MAGNIFICENT.

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>> I KNOW WHY I HAVE THIS BELLY,

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BUT WHY DOES MY CAT HAVE ONE?

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>> HEY, IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD

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MENTION THAT.

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IT'S ACTUALLY REFERRED TO AS A

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PRIMORDIAL POUCH, AND WHILE

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SCIENTISTS AREN'T COMPLETELY

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SURE WHY CATS EVOLVED TO HAVE

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THEM, THERE ARE SEVERAL

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INTERESTING THEORIES.

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>> I THINK IT'S MAYBE FOR

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PROTECTION, JUST HOW MY PADS

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PROTECT ME WHEN I PLAY FOOTBALL.

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>> THAT'S ONE OF THE LEADING

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THEORIES.

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WHEN CATS FIGHT THEY OFTEN USE

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THEIR HIND LEGS TO DELIVER RAPID

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KICKS TO THEIR OPPONENTS

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ABDOMEN.

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>> MAYBE IT'S FOR STORING FOOD,

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LIKE THIS...

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>> SOME EXPERTS SAY THAT THE

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LOOSE ABDOMINAL TISSUE COULD

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HELP ACCOMMODATE LARGE MEALS.

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WILD CATS MAY GO LONG PERIODS

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WITHOUT EATING, FOLLOWED BY

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CONSUMING LARGE AMOUNTS OF FOOD

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AT ONCE.

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BUT LIKE THE OTHER THEORIES,

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THIS IS NOT CONCLUSIVELY PROVEN.

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>> John: I LOVE IT.

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SO MUCH.

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EVEN IF IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE

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RIPPING THIS SHOW OFF.

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FUN ANIMAL FACTS AND PHRASES

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LIKE "THIS IS NOT CONCLUSIVELY

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PROVEN?"

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GET OFF OUR FUCKING CORNER.

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BUFFALO!

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IF THE BILLS EVER MOVE INTO

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VIDEO EXPLAINERS ABOUT SUBPRIME

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LOANS, THIS SHOW IS DONE.

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BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIVE

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STRAIGHT IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY

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THIS WEEK, WHICH INVOLVES THE

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MIDTERM ELECTIONS.

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THEY'RE JUST TWO DAYS AWAY, AND

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LAST-MINUTE RALLIES ARE BEING

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HELD ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, WITH

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PERHAPS THE SADDEST BEING

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KEN PAXTON'S ON THURSDAY NIGHT,

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WHICH BEGAN WITH THIS ROUSING

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SPEECH.

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>> UM, WE'RE PROBABLY ABOUT AN

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HOUR OUT.

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DO ME A FAVOR.

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PLEASE DON'T LEAVE.

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AND THE REASON WHY THAT IS

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BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THE MEDIA

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TO TURN IT IN, SAYING THAT

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"PEOPLE DON'T LIKE KEN PAXTON."

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WELL, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT THAT WE

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HAVE JOBS WE GOTTA DO IN THE

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MORNING, I'M SORRY.

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>> John: SURE, BUT IF YOU

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ACTUALLY LIKE THE PERSON YOU'RE

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SEEING, YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT

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WORK IN THE MORNING, DO YOU?

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YOU DON'T LEAVE A SPRINGSTEEN

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CONCERT AT 8:30 SAYING, "WELL, I

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WAS REALLY HOPING I'D SEE HIM DO

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'BORN TO RUN', BUT IT'S A WORK

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NIGHT."

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NO, YOU DRINK TWO MORE BEERS AND

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GET YOUR JOINTS LOOSE FOR

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"ROSALITA" LIKE A FUCKING ADULT.

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OVERALL, THINGS DON'T SEEM TO BE

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LOOKING GREAT FOR REPUBLICANS

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RIGHT NOW, AS THEY'RE ON TRACK

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TO LOSE THE MAJORITY IN THE

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HOUSE, AND POSSIBLY THE SENATE,

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TOO.

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AND LOOK, BEFORE ANYONE GETS

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CARRIED AWAY, POLLS CAN CLEARLY

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BE WRONG.

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YOU MAY REMEMBER THAT IOWA POLL

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RIGHT BEFORE THE LAST ELECTION

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SHOWING KAMALA HARRIS WINNING

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THE STATE, WHICH-- SPOILER

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ALERT-- SHE DIDN'T.

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AS WE KNOW, IOWA WAS INSTEAD

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CARRIED BY CORNTAR, LORD OF THE

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STALKS, WHO ROSE FROM THE FIELDS

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AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR TO CLAIM

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HIS DARK HARVEST.

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THAT SAID, THERE'VE BEEN SIGNS

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FOR MONTHS NOW THAT REPUBLICANS

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FORESEE TROUBLE.

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IN FACT, AT TRUMP'S RIDICULOUS

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MIDTERM CONVENTION, HE EVEN LED

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THE CROWD IN THIS DESPERATE

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PLEDGE.

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>> I PLEDGE.

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>> TO THE GREATEST PRESIDENT IN

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THE HISTORY OF THE

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UNITED STATES.

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>> THE GREATEST PRESIDENT IN THE

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HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES.

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>> THAT LOVES US SO MUCH HE

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CAN'T EVEN BREATHE.

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>> TRUMP MAKING THE CROWD PLEDGE

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TO HIM THAT THEY WOULD VOTE COME

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NOVEMBER.

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>> YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU

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DON'T VOTE?

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YOU GO TO HELL.

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YOU KNOW THAT.

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>> John: OKAY, THERE'S SO MUCH

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THERE, FROM ASKING PEOPLE TO

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REPEAT BACK A SENTENCE CLEARLY

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TOO LONG FOR THEM, TO THE LINE,

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"LOVES US SO MUCH HE CAN'T EVEN

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BREATHE."

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WHAT IN THE PARAMORE LYRICS IS

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HE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THERE?

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AS FOR, "VOTE OR YOU'LL GO TO

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HELL," I'LL SAY THIS: HUGE IF

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TRUE!

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IMAGINE IF JEFFREY EPSTEIN GOT

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TO HELL AND SAID "OH, BECAUSE OF

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ALL THE STUFF?"

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AND THE DEVIL SAID, "NO,

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ACTUALLY: LACK OF CIVIC

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ENGAGEMENT!"

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IN THE LAST MONTH, TRUMP'S BEEN

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CRISSCROSSING THE COUNTRY TO TRY

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AND DRUM UP SUPPORT AMONG HIS

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BASE, EVEN REPEATEDLY TELLING

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VOTERS TO "PRETEND I'M ON THE

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BALLOT."

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WHICH IS A BOLD MOVE, GIVEN THE

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EXTENT TO WHICH HIS APPROVAL

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RATING HAS COMPLETELY TANKED.

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IN FACT, JUST LISTEN TO THIS

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WOMAN AT THE IOWA STATE FAIR

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EXPLAIN HOW SHE'S SEEN SUPPORT

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FOR HIM EBB AWAY, BEFORE THE

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REPORTER MAKES A BIG CHOICE TO

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WRAP UP THE PIECE.

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>> USED TO BE, NO MATTER WHERE

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YOU DROVE, THEY DID IT ON CORN

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BALES, OR THE HAY BALES,

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EVERYTHING-- TRUMP, TRUMP,

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TRUMP.

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EVERY PLACE YOU WENT.

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BECAUSE WE ARE REPUBLICAN WHERE

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WE'RE FROM.

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YOU DON'T SEE ANY NOW.

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YOU DON'T SEE ANY OF THEM.

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>> AND ALEX, I'LL KEEP THIS

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QUICK BECAUSE I'M STARTING TO

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GET DIZZY, BUT WE ALSO HEARD

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EXPRESSIONS OF FRUSTRATION ABOUT

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PRESIDENT TRUMP'S UP AND DOWN

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TARIFF POLICY.

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AND EVEN PRESIDENT TRUMP'S MOST

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ARDENT SUPPORTERS WILL SAY THAT

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THE TARIFFS AREN'T WORKING YET,

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THEY'RE JUST HOPING THAT THEY

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WILL WORK DOWN THE LINE.

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THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HEARING FROM

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VOTERS HERE AT THE IOWA STATE

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FAIR.

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>> John: WOW, HE SHOT THAT AS IF

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HE EXPECTED VIEWERS TO RESPOND

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TO HIM SAYING "WE'RE HERE AT THE

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IOWA STATE FAIR" WITH "REALLY?

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FUCKING PROVE IT."

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AND IN HINDSIGHT, I'M PRETTY

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SURE THE ENTIRE TIME HE WAS

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TALKING TO THAT WOMAN, HE WAS

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JUST STARING AT THE COTTON CANDY

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SIGN BEHIND HER.

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JUST, "MM?

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OH, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS TOUGH.

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QUICK QUESTION: IS THERE AN AGE

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LIMIT ON RIDES HERE?"

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NEXT THING YOU KNOW, HE'S ON A

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HORSIE LOOKING LIKE A CHILD OF

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DIVORCE GETTING SPOILED ON DAD

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WEEKEND.

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BUT THAT FANCY CHILD REPORTER'S

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RIGHT-- TRUMP'S TARIFFS DO SEEM

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TO HAVE HURT HIM, AS HAVE I.C.E.

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RAIDS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, AND

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HIS WAR IN IRAN, WHICH HAS

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CONTRIBUTED TO GAS PRICES BEING

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UP 34% FROM A YEAR AGO.

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AND I KNOW IT FEELS VERY WEIRD

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TO BOIL TWO YEARS OF VIOLENT

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CHAOS DOWN TO "GAS PRICES GO

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UP," BUT AFFORDABILITY'S

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SOMETHING MANY PEOPLE DO VOTE

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ON!

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I'LL REMIND YOU: PART OF THE

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REASON WE'RE IN THIS MESS RIGHT

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NOW IS BECAUSE OF THE PRICE OF

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FUCKING EGGS.

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IT WAS MOSTLY RACISM, BUT IT WAS

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PARTLY EGGS.

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THE POINT IS, IF TUESDAY'S

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MIDTERMS DO TURN OUT TO BE A

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REFERENDUM ON THIS PRESIDENT,

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IT'S NOT LOOKING GREAT FOR HIM.

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SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, WE

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THOUGHT WE'D TAKE A LOOK AT THE

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MIDTERMS, THE PROBLEMS THEY'VE

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LAID BARE FOR REPUBLICANS, AND

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SOME OF THE WAYS THEY'RE

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DESPERATELY TRYING TO SOLVE

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THEM.

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AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT

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THAT SOME REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES

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HAVE, NOTABLY, BEEN TRYING TO

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DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM TRUMP.

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ONE ANALYSIS FOUND THAT MORE

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THAN 99% OF G.O.P.

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AD SPENDING IS NOW GOING TO

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SPOTS THAT DO NOT MENTION HIM.

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AND JUST WATCH AS MICHIGAN

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SENATE CANDIDATE MIKE ROGERS

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TRIES TO DODGE BEING CONNECTED

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TO HIM, IN AN INTERVIEW LAST

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SUNDAY.

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>> IS A VOTE FOR YOU A VOTE FOR

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THE TRUMP AGENDA?

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>> UM, I'M APOLOGIZING.

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I'M HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY IN MY

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EARPIECE.

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BUT IS A VOTE FOR YOU?

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I'M NOT SURE.

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00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,379
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT A VOTE FOR ME

259
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:07,859
IS.

260
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,719
IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR THE STATE

261
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,720
OF MICHIGAN.

262
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:13,040
>> John: YEAH, NICE TRY, MIKE,

263
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,180
BUT THAT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS.

264
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:16,499
I HAVEN'T SEEN SOMEONE DODGE A

265
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,999
QUESTION THAT SHAMELESSLY SINCE

266
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,560
I SPENT THREE HOURS GASPING

267
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,579
ALOUD AT TWO COMPLETE LUNATICS

268
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:23,149
WHO'VE NEVER BLINKED ONCE IN

269
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,731
THEIR LIVES.

270
00:07:24,732 --> 00:07:25,699
IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT

271
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:26,819
MOVIE, PLEASE CONTACT ANYONE WHO

272
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:28,099
WORKS HERE, IT'S DERAILED OUR

273
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,699
WORKFLOW TO AN UNACCEPTABLE

274
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,700
DEGREE.

275
00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:32,719
MEANWHILE, OTHER REPUBLICANS

276
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,720
HAVE FELT THE NEED TO ACTIVELY

277
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,559
CRITICIZE TRUMP'S POLICIES, LIKE

278
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,489
FLORIDA CONGRESSWOMAN

279
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,979
MARIA ELVIRA SALAZAR, WHO

280
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,120
RELEASED THIS AD.

281
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,419
>> MR. PRESIDENT, SOME OF YOUR

282
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,979
IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT EFFORTS

283
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:44,019
HAVE GONE TOO FAR.

284
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,020
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOUR ADVISERS

285
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,199
ARE TELLING YOU ABOUT

286
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,200
IMMIGRATION POLICY.

287
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,879
THE SAME HISPANICS WHO HELPED

288
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,159
YOU GET TO THE WHITE HOUSE IN

289
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,260
2024 FEEL BETRAYED TODAY.

290
00:07:52,379 --> 00:07:54,089
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, SAYING

291
00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:55,858
"SOME OF TRUMP'S IMMIGRATION

292
00:07:55,859 --> 00:07:56,639
ENFORCEMENT EFFORTS HAVE GONE

293
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,099
TOO FAR" IS LIKE SAYING "SOME

294
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,860
NIC CAGE PERFORMANCES ARE A

295
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,300
SKOOTCH UNHINGED."

296
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,939
YOU'RE TECHNICALLY RIGHT, OF

297
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:03,739
COURSE, BUT YOU'RE NOT REALLY

298
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,779
CAPTURING THE TRUE SCOPE OF WHAT

299
00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:06,800
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

300
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,189
BUT ALSO, THAT'S A NOTABLE

301
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,379
SHIFT, GIVEN JUST A YEAR AGO,

302
00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:11,719
SALAZAR TOURED "ALLIGATOR

303
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:12,899
ALCATRAZ" AND REASSURED

304
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:14,599
REPORTERS THAT "NO ONE LIKES TO

305
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,179
BE INSIDE A CAGE, BUT I WANT TO

306
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,479
TELL YOU THAT THE CAGES WERE

307
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,079
CLEAN."

308
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,739
WHICH IS PRETTY FUCKED UP, IN

309
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:22,799
THE SAME WAY IT'D BE FUCKED UP

310
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,420
TO SAY, "HEY NOBODY LIKES BEING

311
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,139
WATER-BOARDED, BUT I WANT TO

312
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:27,519
TELL YOU, IT'S ALL-NATURAL

313
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:28,936
SPRING WATER THEY'RE GETTING!"

314
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,119
BUT SHE'S NOT WRONG THAT

315
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,939
HISPANIC VOTERS SEEM TO FEEL

316
00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:34,379
BETRAYED, AS AMONG LIKELY VOTERS

317
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,879
IN THAT DEMO, DEMOCRATS RECENTLY

318
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,599
LED REPUBLICANS BY 35 POINTS ON

319
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,399
THE CONGRESSIONAL BALLOT--

320
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,759
THAT'S UP FROM A LEAD OF JUST

321
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,239
7 POINTS IN THE LAST

322
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,199
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

323
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,140
WHICH SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISING.

324
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,780
BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST ANGER OVER

325
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:48,960
IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT--

326
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:50,079
HISPANIC VOTERS ARE ALSO

327
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,359
EXPERIENCING THE SAME

328
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,759
AFFORDABILITY CONCERNS AS

329
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,439
EVERYONE ELSE, AS WELL AS HAVING

330
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,819
TO ENDURE RELENTLESS RACISM FROM

331
00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:57,739
THE WHITE HOUSE.

332
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,719
JUST THIS WEEK, ITS OFFICIAL

333
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,439
TWITTER ACCOUNT POSTED, "SPOOKY

334
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,220
SEASON IS HERE," WITH AN IMAGE

335
00:09:04,012 --> 00:09:04,946
OF A JACK-O-LANTERN WITH A

336
00:09:04,947 --> 00:09:05,772
SOMBRERO ON IT.

337
00:09:05,773 --> 00:09:09,127
WHICH IS RACIST AND RIDICULOUS,

338
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,079
AS THE SOMBRERO IS OBJECTIVELY

339
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,200
ONE OF THE LEAST SCARY HATS.

340
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,239
WITCH'S HAT, TOP HAT, SURE--

341
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,179
BOTH CREEPY.

342
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,399
BUT IF YOU'RE WALKING ALONE IN

343
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,779
THE WOODS, SOMEONE COMES AROUND

344
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:19,699
THE CORNER AND ALL YOU CAN MAKE

345
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,520
OUT IS THEIR SOMBRERO?

346
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:24,599
BROTHER, SOMETHING FESTIVE THIS

347
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,600
WAY COMES.

348
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,259
IN FACT, SLAP A SOMBRERO ON THE

349
00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:29,799
BABADOOK AND SEE HOW PEOPLE'S

350
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,640
REACTIONS CHANGE.

351
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:33,740
BUT SOME REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES

352
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,919
CAN'T REALLY DISTANCE THEMSELVES

353
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,019
FROM TRUMP, AS HE'S THE ONE WHO

354
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:38,199
GOT THEM ON THE BALLOT IN THE

355
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,199
FIRST PLACE.

356
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,039
DURING THE PRIMARIES, HE

357
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,519
REPEATEDLY ENDORSED EXTREME MAGA

358
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:42,859
TYPES.

359
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:43,919
WE'VE TALKED BEFORE ABOUT SENATE

360
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,619
CANDIDATES LIKE MIKE COLLINS IN

361
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:47,259
GEORGIA, AND KEN PAXTON IN

362
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:47,559
TEXAS.

363
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,319
BUT HE ALSO THUMBED THE SCALE IN

364
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,379
HOUSE RACES, LIKE IN UPSTATE

365
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:52,560
NEW YORK, WHERE THE REPUBLICAN

366
00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:54,299
ESTABLISHMENT BACKED THIS MORE

367
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,739
TRADITIONAL CANDIDATE, BUT TRUMP

368
00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:57,760
ENDORSED ANTHONY CONSTANTINO,

369
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,959
THE CEO OF A STICKER COMPANY WHO

370
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:00,959
FIRST GAINED ATTENTION BY

371
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,179
PUTTING A GIANT TRUMP SIGN ON

372
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:03,119
HIS FACTORY, SOMETHING YOU CAN

373
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,679
SEE IN THIS PHOTO TAKEN BY

374
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,820
SOMEONE WHO JUST HATES HIM.

375
00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:10,639
HE'S RUNNING IN A DEEP-RED

376
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,019
DISTRICT, BUT HIS RACE NOW SEEMS

377
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:12,659
UP FOR GRABS.

378
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:13,771
AND WHEN YOU LEARN MORE ABOUT

379
00:10:13,772 --> 00:10:15,208
HIM, YOU CAN SEE WHY: FOR

380
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:16,045
STARTERS, CONSTANTINO'S A

381
00:10:16,046 --> 00:10:18,398
"PRO-TRUMP RAPPER," WHICH IS AS

382
00:10:18,399 --> 00:10:20,960
BAD AS YOU'D EXPECT.

383
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,679
JUST WATCH THIS VIDEO HE PUT OUT

384
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:23,268
LAST YEAR, ATTACKING

385
00:10:23,269 --> 00:10:23,719
ZOHRAN MAMDANI.

386
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,605
>> ZOHRAN A TRAINED ACTOR HE

387
00:10:24,606 --> 00:10:26,319
DONE FOOLED SO MANY MEN, BUT I

388
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:26,938
SEE THROUGH YOU, AND I KNOW JUST

389
00:10:26,939 --> 00:10:29,863
HOW THIS ENDS, IT DON'T END

390
00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:30,808
HAPPY, IT DON'T END FELIZ, IT

391
00:10:30,809 --> 00:10:32,137
ENDS WITH YOU FAILING, FAILING

392
00:10:32,138 --> 00:10:33,408
TO ACHIEVE, CAN'T FUCK WITH

393
00:10:33,409 --> 00:10:34,352
AMERICA BITCH THIS IS NEW YORK

394
00:10:34,353 --> 00:10:37,838
CITY.

395
00:10:37,839 --> 00:10:38,458
THE HOME OF DONALD TRUMP, TUPAC,

396
00:10:38,459 --> 00:10:39,226
AND BIGGIE.

397
00:10:39,227 --> 00:10:39,699
REMEMBER WHEN THEY HIT THE

398
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:39,905
TOWERS?

399
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:40,378
THEY COULDN'T DESTROY US.

400
00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:40,880
THAT BOY OSAMA DEAD NOW, AND

401
00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:41,441
YOU'RE HERE TO ANNOY US.

402
00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:42,327
WE KNOW THE TERRORIST DREAM IS

403
00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:43,597
DESTROY NEW YORK.

404
00:10:43,598 --> 00:10:44,543
I WANNA MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD

405
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,699
ENJOY NEW YORK.

406
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:47,230
>> John: "HAMILTON" WAS A

407
00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:52,519
MISTAKE.

408
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,659
AND YES, YOU HEARD RIGHT.

409
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,139
HE DID JUST RHYME "NEW YORK"

410
00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:57,520
WITH "NEW YORK," THERE.

411
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,739
WHICH IS FRUSTRATING, GIVEN

412
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,220
THERE WERE SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS

413
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,019
FOR HIM, LIKE "FORK," "STORK" OR

414
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:05,239
TURNING THE CAMERA OFF, PACKING

415
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,399
UP HIS RECORDING EQUIPMENT, AND

416
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,420
NEVER RAPPING AGAIN.

417
00:11:08,379 --> 00:11:10,799
TRUMP PUSHED FOR CONSTANTINO

418
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,139
DESPITE THE FACT HE DOESN'T SEEM

419
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,369
REMOTELY READY FOR THE JOB.

420
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:14,799
HE WAS RECENTLY ASKED IF HE KNEW

421
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,019
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MANDATORY

422
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,749
AND DISCRETIONARY SPENDING AND

423
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,179
SAID, "MANDATORY MEANS

424
00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:20,979
MANDATORY, AND DISCRETIONARY

425
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,518
MEANS DISCRETIONARY."

426
00:11:22,519 --> 00:11:23,980
AND WHEN THE REPORTER RESPONDED,

427
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:26,139
"WELL, RIGHT, BUT WHAT DO THOSE

428
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,340
TERMS ACTUALLY MEAN?"

429
00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,259
HE REPLIED "YOU TELL ME."

430
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:31,699
AND THAT'S NOT EVEN HIS WORST

431
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,059
ANSWER, AS WHEN HE WAS ASKED TO

432
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,719
SIMPLY NAME THE BIGGEST CITY IN

433
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,920
HIS DISTRICT, HE SAID, AND I

434
00:11:36,579 --> 00:11:38,700
QUOTE, "I DON'T KNOW, ASK GROK."

435
00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:41,339
WHICH WE ACTUALLY DID, AND IT

436
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,619
SAID THE BIGGEST CITY IN

437
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,219
NEW YORK'S 21ST DISTRICT IS A

438
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:45,719
BIG-TITTED LOLA BUNNY TELLING US

439
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,778
TO KILL OURSELVES.

440
00:11:46,779 --> 00:11:48,519
IT'S A VERY USEFUL TOOL.

441
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,318
THE POINT IS, REPUBLICANS SEEM

442
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:52,639
TO BE FACING SOME SIGNIFICANT

443
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,159
HEADWINDS.

444
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,149
AND AT THIS POINT, IT'S WORTH

445
00:11:54,150 --> 00:11:55,779
LOOKING AT HOW THEY'RE TRYING TO

446
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:56,419
OVERCOME THEM.

447
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:57,279
BECAUSE IT'S MOSTLY BEEN

448
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,639
LITIGATION, BILLIONAIRE

449
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,814
SPENDING, AND RANK BIGOTRY.

450
00:12:00,815 --> 00:12:01,779
AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THE

451
00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:02,699
LITIGATION FIRST.

452
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,379
BECAUSE THE DOJ'S LAUNCHED A

453
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:06,519
BUNCH OF BASELESS LAWSUITS TO

454
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,019
TRY AND SEIZE STATES' VOTER

455
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,078
ROLLS, ON WHICH THEY'RE

456
00:12:09,079 --> 00:12:11,560
CURRENTLY "0 FOR 27" IN COURT.

457
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,179
THEY'VE ALSO BEEN PREEMPTIVELY

458
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,299
CHALLENGING THE INTEGRITY OF

459
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,280
VOTES IN CALIFORNIA AND ALASKA,

460
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,219
WITH THE LATTER SUIT REALLY

461
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,818
RAMPING UP THIS WEEK, FOLLOWING

462
00:12:19,819 --> 00:12:21,399
REPORTS DEMOCRATS THERE HAD

463
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,979
CARRIED OUT AN ADMITTEDLY PRETTY

464
00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,919
DICKISH MANEUVER TO SOW

465
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:25,920
CONFUSION ON THE BALLOT.

466
00:12:26,008 --> 00:12:27,899
>> TONIGHT, A NEW HEADLINE

467
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:28,822
ROCKING THE SENATE RACE IN DEEP

468
00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:29,879
RED ALASKA.

469
00:12:29,968 --> 00:12:31,859
>> TWO DAN SULLIVAN'S.

470
00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:32,624
THE PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO BE

471
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:33,625
ABLE TO TELL.

472
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:34,799
AND IT'S A FRAUD.

473
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,622
>> "THE NEW YORK TIMES"

474
00:12:35,623 --> 00:12:37,842
REPORTING ON A SECRET DEMOCRATIC

475
00:12:37,843 --> 00:12:39,799
PLOT TO SABOTAGE THE CAMPAIGN OF

476
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,520
REPUBLICAN SENATOR DAN SULLIVAN

477
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,279
BY PLACING ANOTHER CANDIDATE

478
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,119
WITH THE SAME NAME ON THE BALLOT

479
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,779
TO CONFUSE HIS SUPPORTERS.

480
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,439
>> LAST WEEK, PRESIDENT TRUMP

481
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,489
TOLD THE DOJ TO FILE SUIT TO

482
00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:52,119
BLOCK CERTIFICATION OF ALASKA'S

483
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,739
RESULTS IF DAN J. SULLIVAN COST

484
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,039
SENATOR SULLIVAN A WIN.

485
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:56,980
>> John: YEAH, DEMOCRATS

486
00:12:56,981 --> 00:13:00,456
ALLEGEDLY TRIED TO CONFUSE

487
00:13:00,457 --> 00:13:00,986
VOTERS BY GETTING ANOTHER

488
00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:01,399
DAN SULLIVAN TO RUN.

489
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,039
WHICH, AGAIN, CONFIRMS MY THEORY

490
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:03,959
THAT WHEN YOU HEAR "SECRET

491
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,559
REPUBLICAN PLOT," IT'S ALWAYS

492
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,380
SOME SORT OF HOUSE OF CARDS

493
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:08,959
CHICANERY, BUT WHEN YOU HEAR

494
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,818
"SECRET DEMOCRATIC PLOT," IT'S

495
00:13:10,819 --> 00:13:13,199
THE MOST RINKY DINK SCOOBY DOO

496
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,319
CLOWN CAR MIX 'EM UP IMAGINABLE.

497
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,780
NOW, BOTH THE DEMOCRATIC

498
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,479
CANDIDATE'S CAMPAIGN, AND THE

499
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,480
PARTY'S SENATE CAMPAIGN

500
00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:20,340
COMMITTEE, HAVE DENIED THAT

501
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,553
REPORT.

502
00:13:21,554 --> 00:13:22,499
BUT IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST

503
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,387
TIME THAT TACTIC'S BEEN USED.

504
00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:24,660
IN FACT, IT'S BEEN CALLED AN

505
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:26,839
AGE-OLD ELECTION TRICK, AND HAS

506
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,179
HAPPENED UP AND DOWN BALLOTS,

507
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:29,199
ACROSS PARTY LINES.

508
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,699
IT'S ALSO, CRUCIALLY, NOT

509
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,479
ILLEGAL-- THAT'D ONLY BE THE

510
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,459
CASE IF IT INVOLVED THINGS LIKE

511
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:34,780
FALSIFYING RESIDENCY DOCUMENTS,

512
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,339
LAUNDERING CAMPAIGN FUNDS, OR

513
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:37,359
OFFERING DIRECT PAYMENTS.

514
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,579
IN FACT, AS ONE EXPERT PUT IT,

515
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,339
"IF TRYING TO CONFUSE VOTERS WAS

516
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,199
A CRIME, THEN EVERY POLITICIAN

517
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,380
WOULD BE IN JAIL."

518
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,699
WHAT'S MORE, AS YOU CAN SEE FROM

519
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,700
THE BALLOT-- THE DAN SULLIVAN

520
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,318
WHO'S THE INCUMBENT REPUBLICAN

521
00:13:48,319 --> 00:13:49,940
SENATOR IS CLEARLY MARKED

522
00:13:50,778 --> 00:13:53,925
"INCUMBENT."

523
00:13:53,926 --> 00:13:54,542
AND WHILE TRUMP HAS ARGUED THAT

524
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:58,598
"A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT

525
00:14:00,136 --> 00:14:00,683
INCUMBENT MEANS," WHICH FEELS

526
00:14:00,684 --> 00:14:01,011
LIKE HE'S TELLING ON HIMSELF

527
00:14:01,012 --> 00:14:01,259
THERE, WHEN CNN TALKED TO VOTERS

528
00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:02,539
THERE, THEY DIDN'T SEEM

529
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:03,518
CONFUSED.

530
00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:05,579
>> CAN YOU TELL WHO'S WHO HERE?

531
00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:07,593
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY.

532
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,459
YOU'VE GOT DANIEL J. SULLIVAN

533
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:13,220
JR. AND THEN YOU HAVE SULLIVAN

534
00:14:14,030 --> 00:14:15,039
DAN, WHO'S A REGISTERED

535
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,700
REPUBLICAN AND INCUMBENT.

536
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,419
AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY GLASSES

537
00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:18,699
ON.

538
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:20,159
IT'S PRETTY CLEAR IT'S IN BLACK

539
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:20,959
AND WHITE.

540
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,079
IT'S VERY CLEAR.

541
00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:23,509
>> John: YEAH, FOR WHAT IT'S

542
00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:25,109
WORTH, THE SICKEST POSSIBLE BURN

543
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,039
FROM SOMEONE WITH ANY AMOUNT OF

544
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,959
GREY IN THEIR HAIR IS "I DON'T

545
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,440
EVEN HAVE MY GLASSES ON."

546
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,899
IF I DON'T HAVE MY GLASSES AND

547
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,179
EVEN I CAN TELL THAT SOMETHING

548
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,139
IS CLEAR?

549
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,780
BITCH, YOU ARE COOKED.

550
00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:41,309
AND ON TOP OF THAT, ALASKA

551
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:43,169
ACTUALLY USES RANKED-CHOICE

552
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:43,569
VOTING.

553
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,639
SO ANY THEORETICAL PERSON WHO

554
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,749
DOESN'T KNOW WHAT "INCUMBENT"

555
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:47,949
MEANS, AND WANTS TO MAKE SURE

556
00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:49,449
THEIR VOTE'S GOING TO SENATOR

557
00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:51,250
DAN SULLIVAN CAN JUST RANK BOTH

558
00:14:51,532 --> 00:14:52,590
OF THEM ON THE BALLOT.

559
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:53,626
AND AGAIN: NONE OF THAT MAKES

560
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,969
WHAT DEMOCRATS ARE ACCUSED OF

561
00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:57,329
"GOOD" OR "OKAY," BUT IT DOES

562
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,481
MAKE IT "STUPID AND

563
00:14:58,482 --> 00:14:59,184
MEANINGLESS," WHICH IF NOTHING

564
00:14:59,185 --> 00:15:02,417
ELSE, IS ON BRAND FOR THE PARTY.

565
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:05,569
AND YET, IF SULLIVAN LOSES, IT

566
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,329
SEEMS INEVITABLE TRUMP WILL TRY

567
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:08,829
TO PREVENT HIS OPPONENT FROM

568
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:09,910
BEING SEATED IN THE SENATE,

569
00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:11,829
DESPITE THERE BEING NO LEGAL

570
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:12,870
BASIS FOR THAT.

571
00:15:13,170 --> 00:15:14,469
AND THAT'S JUST ONE OF MANY WAYS

572
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:15,289
TRUMP AND HIS ADMINISTRATION

573
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,249
HAVE TRIED TO SOW FEAR AND DOUBT

574
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,479
AHEAD OF THIS ELECTION, FROM THE

575
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,189
I.C.E. RAID OF ILHAN OMAR'S HOME

576
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:22,070
THREE WEEKS AGO, TO HIS BULLSHIT

577
00:15:22,874 --> 00:15:23,735
PRIMETIME ADDRESS ON SUPPOSED

578
00:15:23,736 --> 00:15:25,389
"VOTER FRAUD" IN JULY.

579
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,769
AFTER THAT, DHS CLAIMED THEY

580
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:29,829
WERE LOOKING INTO 300,000

581
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,629
POSSIBLE INSTANCES OF FRAUD, AND

582
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,470
SANK HUGE RESOURCES INTO

583
00:15:34,007 --> 00:15:35,073
BRINGING CASES.

584
00:15:35,074 --> 00:15:36,809
BUT WHEN WE ASKED THEM HOW MANY

585
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,189
THEY'VE BROUGHT THIS TERM-- NOT

586
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:40,030
EVEN CONVICTED, JUST CHARGED--

587
00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:42,290
THEY TOLD US IT WAS 208.

588
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:43,750
WHICH IS, YOU'LL NOTICE,

589
00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:46,070
SLIGHTLY UNDER "300,000."

590
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,869
I CAN EVEN TELL THAT WITHOUT MY

591
00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:50,150
FUCKING GLASSES ON.

592
00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:53,089
AND ALL OF THIS IS CLEARLY

593
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,469
LAYING THE GROUNDWORK FOR

594
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:55,149
ELECTION DENIAL.

595
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,209
BY ONE ANALYSIS, TRUMP'S

596
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,139
ATTACKED THE INTEGRITY OF

597
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:59,609
ELECTIONS ON MORE THAN 70% OF

598
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,249
THE DAYS SINCE HE RETURNED TO

599
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:01,949
OFFICE.

600
00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:03,849
AND JUST THIS WEEK, WHEN ASKED

601
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,030
IF HE'D COMMIT TO ACCEPTING

602
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,349
MIDTERM RESULTS, HE SAID THIS.

603
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:07,979
>> AND YOU'LL RESPECT THE

604
00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:08,539
RESULTS WHATEVER HAPPENS?

605
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:09,134
>> I WILL, IF THEY'RE HONEST

606
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:15,049
ELECTIONS.

607
00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:15,714
>> John: YEAH, AND THAT'S A

608
00:16:15,715 --> 00:16:16,203
PRETTY BIG DISCLAIMER!

609
00:16:16,204 --> 00:16:16,833
SO IT SEEMS TRUMP'S PRINCIPLES

610
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:17,343
ARE BASICALLY, "IF YOU DON'T

611
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,889
VOTE YOU CAN GO TO HELL" AND "IF

612
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,669
I DON'T WIN THE WHOLE THING CAN

613
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:22,489
GO TO HELL."

614
00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:24,649
SO THAT'S HOW REPUBLICANS ARE

615
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:25,909
TRYING TO LITIGATE THEIR WAY OUT

616
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:26,249
OF TROUBLE.

617
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:27,209
BUT THEY'RE ALSO TRYING TO SPEND

618
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:28,649
THEIR WAY OUT OF IT.

619
00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:29,649
BECAUSE WHILE DEMOCRATIC

620
00:16:29,650 --> 00:16:30,850
CAMPAIGNS HAVE ACTUALLY

621
00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:32,929
OUTRAISED REPUBLICAN ONES, WHEN

622
00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,390
IT COMES TO OUTSIDE SPENDING,

623
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:35,869
IT'S NOT CLOSE.

624
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,889
THE 40 BIGGEST DONORS THIS

625
00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:38,729
ELECTION CYCLE HAVE GIVEN

626
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:39,999
REPUBLICANS MORE THAN THREE

627
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,309
TIMES THE AMOUNT THEY'VE GIVEN

628
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,089
DEMOCRATS, WITH ELON MUSK ALONE

629
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,330
GIVING REPUBLICANS AT LEAST

630
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,110
$483 MILLION SO FAR.

631
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:49,709
AND THAT MONEY'S BOUGHT A LOT OF

632
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,029
ADVERTISING, WITH DEMOCRATS AND

633
00:16:51,030 --> 00:16:52,508
REPUBLICANS COMBINING TO SPEND

634
00:16:52,509 --> 00:16:55,110
OVER $11 BILLION JUST ON ADS.

635
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,750
THAT'S, IN PART, WHY YOUR TV'S

636
00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,809
BEEN WALL-TO-WALL WITH THEM FOR

637
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,409
MONTHS NOW.

638
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,570
AND SOME HAVE BEEN TRULY UGLY,

639
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:03,969
LIKE THE ONE TAKEN OUT AGAINST

640
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,529
AMY ACTON, WHO'S RUNNING FOR

641
00:17:05,530 --> 00:17:06,689
GOVERNOR IN OHIO, AND WHICH

642
00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:08,910
EXPLOITS A HIDEOUS CHILDHOOD

643
00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:09,584
TRAUMA.

644
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:10,688
>> ACTON WAS REMOVED FROM HER

645
00:17:10,689 --> 00:17:12,033
MOTHER'S CUSTODY WHEN SHE WAS

646
00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:15,229
JUST 12-YEARS-OLD AFTER HER

647
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:16,909
STEPFATHER WAS CHARGED WITH

648
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:17,910
RAPING HER.

649
00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:20,209
THEY HAVEN'T SPOKEN SINCE, BUT

650
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,030
NOW ACTON'S OPPONENT, VIVEK

651
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,569
RAMASWAMY, HAS PUT HER MOTHER IN

652
00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:25,649
A CAMPAIGN AD.

653
00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:27,888
>> IF YOU THINK SHE'LL MAKE YOUR

654
00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:28,470
LIFE BETTER, YOU'RE FOOLING

655
00:17:28,471 --> 00:17:30,709
YOURSELF.

656
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:31,768
>> ACTON CALLS THE AD

657
00:17:31,769 --> 00:17:33,129
EXPLOITATIVE, SAYING HER MOTHER

658
00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:33,969
IS NOT WELL.

659
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:36,636
>> I THINK IT WAS A HORRIBLE AND

660
00:17:36,637 --> 00:17:37,181
HIDEOUS THING TO DO, A SAD

661
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:38,759
THING.

662
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,509
>> STILL TONIGHT, PRESIDENT

663
00:17:40,510 --> 00:17:42,228
TRUMP IS DEFENDING THE AD.

664
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,336
>> IT'S A VERY UNUSUAL SITUATION

665
00:17:45,337 --> 00:17:46,301
TO HAVE A MOTHER HATE A DAUGHTER

666
00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:47,206
THAT MUCH.

667
00:17:47,207 --> 00:17:48,504
>> John: YEAH, THAT AD IS SO

668
00:17:48,505 --> 00:17:49,469
BLATANTLY TOXIC THAT ONLY THE

669
00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:52,958
WORST PERSON ON EARTH COULD BUY

670
00:17:52,959 --> 00:17:53,958
INTO IT AND SURPRISE, SURPRISE,

671
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:54,889
HE DID.

672
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,509
BUT IT'S NOT JUST TRUMP.

673
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,510
IN THE WAKE OF SIGNIFICANT

674
00:17:57,670 --> 00:17:59,249
CRITICISM, RAMASWAMY ACTUALLY

675
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:00,710
DOUBLED DOWN ON HIS AD.

676
00:18:00,864 --> 00:18:02,891
>> VOTERS DESERVE TO KNOW WHAT

677
00:18:02,892 --> 00:18:03,892
THE TRUTH IS, AND THE TRUTH IS

678
00:18:05,030 --> 00:18:06,130
THAT THIS WOMAN IS A LIAR.

679
00:18:06,236 --> 00:18:07,722
>> John: JESUS CHRIST.

680
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,649
I'D SAY HE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF

681
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:10,929
HIMSELF, BUT RAMASWAMY CLEARLY

682
00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:12,669
HAS NO SENSE OF SHAME.

683
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,489
WHICH REALLY SHOULDN'T BE NEWS

684
00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:14,989
TO ANYONE.

685
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,029
NOT ONLY WAS HE BRIEFLY THE

686
00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:17,409
CO-HEAD OF D.O.G.E., HE WAS ALSO

687
00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:19,069
APPARENTLY ONCE A LIBERTARIAN

688
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:19,669
RAPPER.

689
00:18:19,670 --> 00:18:20,889
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHETHER

690
00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:22,829
HE WAS ANY GOOD, I'LL LET YOU BE

691
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:23,489
THE JUDGE.

692
00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:25,129
HERE HE IS SHOWING OFF HIS

693
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:26,489
FREE-STYLING SKILLS DURING A

694
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:27,444
RADIO INTERVIEW.

695
00:18:27,445 --> 00:18:29,934
>> IT'S VIVEK LIKE CAKE I'M NOT

696
00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:33,109
FAKE AND I SWIM IN A LAKE OF

697
00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:35,129
TRUTH, THAT'S ME VIVEK, YEAH.

698
00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:37,569
>> John: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M

699
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:38,570
ABOUT TO SAY THIS, BUT:

700
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,849
ANTHONY CONSTANTINO IS A BETTER

701
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:41,850
RAPPER.

702
00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:44,249
AND WHEN REPUBLICANS HAVEN'T

703
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:45,249
BEEN DIGGING UP HORRIFYING

704
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,449
TRAUMAS, THEY'VE BEEN DEFAULTING

705
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:47,909
TO STOKING BIGOTRY AND FEAR

706
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:48,309
MONGERING.

707
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:49,409
TAKE WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING IN

708
00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:50,629
MICHIGAN, WHERE SENATE CANDIDATE

709
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,630
ABDUL EL-SAYED HAS BEEN

710
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,409
RELENTLESSLY TARGETED WITH

711
00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:54,389
ISLAMOPHOBIC ATTACKS--

712
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:56,329
INCLUDING FROM TRUMP ON THE

713
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:57,055
CAMPAIGN TRAIL.

714
00:18:57,056 --> 00:18:58,561
>> HIS NAME IS ACTUALLY

715
00:18:58,562 --> 00:19:00,569
ABDULADADALALALALA.

716
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:03,829
IT'S ADULBABABABABABA MOHAMMED

717
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:04,789
EL-SAYED.

718
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,270
SO HIS MIDDLE NAME IS MOHAMMED.

719
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:07,809
MOHAMMED EL SAYED.

720
00:19:07,810 --> 00:19:08,810
I CALL HIM MOHAMMED.

721
00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:10,949
SOMEBODY SAID "HIS NAME ISN'T

722
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,829
MOHAMMED, IT'S ABDUL".

723
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:13,830
I SAID, "TO ME IT'S MOHAMMAD.

724
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,469
HE WOULD BE THE ONLY SENATOR

725
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:16,769
THAT WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH A

726
00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:18,069
METAL DETECTOR BEFORE HE'S

727
00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:19,449
ALLOWED TO GO INTO THE SENATE.

728
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,709
I WANT HIM TO HAVE A METAL

729
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:21,469
DETECTOR.

730
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,649
IF ABDUL AND THE DEMOCRATS WIN,

731
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:24,839
THEY WILL OPEN THE FLOODGATES

732
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,269
AND INVITE HOARDS OF JIHADISTS

733
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:28,889
TO OUR SHORES, CREATING A

734
00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:31,189
NIGHTMARE OF VIOLENCE AND TERROR

735
00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:33,289
UNTIL YOU CANNOT EVEN HAVE A

736
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:34,000
CHRISTMAS.

737
00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:37,557
>> John: THAT ISN'T JUST RACIST

738
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:38,969
-- CLAIMING EL-SAYED'S GOING TO

739
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,669
SOMEHOW CANCEL CHRISTMAS IS ALSO

740
00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:41,089
ABSURD.

741
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:41,899
BECAUSE THERE ARE PLENTY OF

742
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,089
THINGS THAT COULD POTENTIALLY

743
00:19:43,090 --> 00:19:44,109
RUIN SOMEONE'S CHRISTMAS--

744
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,630
TRAVEL DELAYS, A BAD COLD, THE

745
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:47,329
RELEASE OF ANOTHER KEVIN SPACEY

746
00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:48,989
CHRISTMAS MESSAGE, OR-- NEED I

747
00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,369
REMIND YOU-- A PRESIDENT WHO

748
00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:52,009
STARTS A STUPID TRADE WAR AND

749
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,629
THEN DISMISSES PRICE INCREASES

750
00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:54,436
LIKE THIS.

751
00:19:54,437 --> 00:19:58,059
>> I DON'T THINK A BEAUTIFUL

752
00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,209
BABY GIRL NEEDS, THAT'S 11 YEARS

753
00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:02,010
OLD, NEEDS TO HAVE 30 DOLLS.

754
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:03,289
I THINK THEY CAN HAVE THREE

755
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,616
DOLLS OR FOUR DOLLS.

756
00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:06,149
>> WHEN YOU SAY THEY SHOULD HAVE

757
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:08,159
THREE DOLLS INSTEAD OF 30 DOLLS,

758
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:08,839
ARE YOU SAYING THAT AMERICANS

759
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,189
COULD SEE EMPTY STORE SHELVES?

760
00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:11,769
>> NO.

761
00:20:11,770 --> 00:20:13,589
NO, I'M NOT SAYING THAT.

762
00:20:13,590 --> 00:20:14,769
I'M JUST SAYING THEY DON'T NEED

763
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:15,709
TO HAVE 30 DOLLS.

764
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:16,429
THEY CAN HAVE THREE.

765
00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,849
THEY DON'T NEED TO HAVE 250

766
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,509
PENCILS.

767
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:19,398
THEY CAN HAVE FIVE.

768
00:20:19,399 --> 00:20:21,541
>> John: YEAH, DON'T WORRY,

769
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:23,078
11-YEAR-OLD BABY GIRLS, IF

770
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:24,769
ANYONE COMES AND TAKES YOUR

771
00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:25,770
PRECIOUS DOLLS AND PENCILS AWAY

772
00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:30,149
THIS CHRISTMAS, IT WON'T BE A

773
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:31,349
PROGRESSIVE SENATE CANDIDATE IN

774
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:31,669
MICHIGAN.

775
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:32,629
IT'LL BE A PUDDING-BRAINED

776
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,329
OCTOGENARIAN WHO STILL DOESN'T

777
00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:35,709
UNDERSTAND WHAT FUCKING TRADE

778
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:36,710
DEFICITS ARE.

779
00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:38,249
AND LOOK, IT SHOULDN'T BE

780
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,989
SURPRISING THAT TRUMP ENGAGES IN

781
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:40,589
ISLAMOPHOBIA.

782
00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:42,806
BUT THE PARTY SEEMS HAPPY TO

783
00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:44,529
FOLLOW HIM INTO THAT SEWER.

784
00:20:44,530 --> 00:20:46,029
JUST WATCH THIS ATTACK AD PUT

785
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:47,429
OUT BY THE REPUBLICAN SENATE

786
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:48,434
LEADERSHIP FUND.

787
00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:51,036
>> ABDUL EL SAYED IN HIS OWN

788
00:20:51,037 --> 00:20:53,369
WORDS, "WHEN I DIE AND STAND

789
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:54,909
BEFORE GOD AND GO THROUGH

790
00:20:54,910 --> 00:20:56,610
EVERYTHING I DID IN MY LIFE, I

791
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,209
DON'T WANT TO SAY I DID IT THE

792
00:20:58,210 --> 00:21:00,648
EASY WAY INSTEAD OF THE SHARIA

793
00:21:00,649 --> 00:21:01,235
COMPLIANT WAY."

794
00:21:01,236 --> 00:21:03,123
>> THE SHARIA LAW WAY.

795
00:21:03,124 --> 00:21:03,869
WHAT'S THAT?

796
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:05,649
USING GOVERNMENT TO DICTATE HOW

797
00:21:05,650 --> 00:21:07,529
WOMEN DRESS, REQUIRING THEY HAVE

798
00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:09,709
A GUARDIAN OR PROHIBITING WOMEN

799
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:11,110
FROM FILING FOR DIVORCE.

800
00:21:11,509 --> 00:21:13,390
THE SHARIA LAW COMPLIANT WAY.

801
00:21:13,849 --> 00:21:15,269
ABDUL EL SAYED'S WAY.

802
00:21:15,929 --> 00:21:16,928
>> John: OKAY, THAT'S WILDLY

803
00:21:16,929 --> 00:21:17,849
MISLEADING.

804
00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:19,029
FIRST, THAT QUOTE COMES FROM AN

805
00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:19,949
INTERVIEW EL-SAYED GAVE

806
00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:21,591
17 YEARS AGO-- WHEN HE WAS 24

807
00:21:21,592 --> 00:21:22,367
-- AND WAS SPEAKING TO A

808
00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:23,409
REPORTER WRITING ABOUT A

809
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:24,928
MICHIGAN BANK THAT OFFERED A

810
00:21:24,929 --> 00:21:26,249
SPECIAL KIND OF HOME LOAN FOR

811
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,109
ISLAMIC CUSTOMERS.

812
00:21:27,110 --> 00:21:28,449
BACK THEN, HE SAID HE WANTED TO

813
00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:29,450
CONDUCT HIMSELF IN "THE

814
00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:31,050
SHARIA-COMPLIANT WAY," MEANING

815
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:32,709
USING THE RELIGIOUS CODE AS A

816
00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,110
GUIDELINE FOR HIS PERSONAL LIFE

817
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:35,869
-- Y'KNOW, HOW MOST RELIGIONS

818
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:36,609
WORK.

819
00:21:36,610 --> 00:21:39,589
AND IT'S A PRETTY BOLD MOVE FOR

820
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:40,769
THE REPUBLICAN SENATE LEADERSHIP

821
00:21:40,770 --> 00:21:42,069
FUND TO BE LIKE, "HEY, DON'T

822
00:21:42,070 --> 00:21:43,029
VOTE FOR THIS GUY!

823
00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:44,029
HE THINKS THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD

824
00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:45,310
TAKE AGENCY AWAY FROM WOMEN!

825
00:21:45,450 --> 00:21:46,669
INSTEAD, WHY NOT VOTE FOR THE

826
00:21:46,670 --> 00:21:47,869
PARTY THAT OVERTURNED

827
00:21:47,870 --> 00:21:48,669
ROE V. WADE?"

828
00:21:48,670 --> 00:21:51,269
BUT IT'S NOT JUST ISLAMOPHOBIA.

829
00:21:51,590 --> 00:21:53,929
IN MANY STATES, THE BIGGEST BET

830
00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:55,109
REPUBLICANS HAVE MADE HAS, ONCE

831
00:21:55,110 --> 00:21:56,130
AGAIN, BEEN ON TRANSPHOBIA.

832
00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:58,289
IN BASICALLY EVERY BATTLEGROUND

833
00:21:58,290 --> 00:22:00,549
STATE, THERE'VE BEEN A SLEW OF

834
00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:02,149
MISLEADING TRANSPHOBIC ATTACK

835
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:03,909
ADS, OFTEN USING SOME VARIATION

836
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:05,692
OF THE SAME FAMILIAR TAGLINE.

837
00:22:05,693 --> 00:22:08,536
>> DON DAVIS DOESN'T ALWAYS SHOW

838
00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:10,368
UP TO WORK, BUT WHEN HE DOES

839
00:22:10,369 --> 00:22:10,937
SHOW UP, HE'S FIGHTING FOR

840
00:22:10,938 --> 00:22:16,530
THEY/THEM, NOT US.

841
00:22:16,531 --> 00:22:17,067
>> ANNIE ANDREWS IS FOR

842
00:22:17,068 --> 00:22:19,374
THEY/THEM.

843
00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:19,848
NOT FOR OUR VALUES.

844
00:22:19,849 --> 00:22:21,217
NOT FOR SOUTH CAROLINA.

845
00:22:21,218 --> 00:22:24,250
>> RADICAL LIBERAL JAMES

846
00:22:24,251 --> 00:22:24,905
TALARICO, FOR THEY/THEM, NOT

847
00:22:24,906 --> 00:22:26,904
YOU.

848
00:22:26,905 --> 00:22:28,455
>> John: WOW, NORMALLY TO HEAR

849
00:22:28,456 --> 00:22:29,455
THAT MANY SHITTY PRONOUN JOKES

850
00:22:29,456 --> 00:22:30,149
IN A ROW, YOU HAVE TO BE

851
00:22:30,150 --> 00:22:31,089
WATCHING A NETFLIX SPECIAL

852
00:22:31,090 --> 00:22:32,329
SOMEONE GOT PAID MILLIONS OF

853
00:22:32,330 --> 00:22:32,939
DOLLARS FOR.

854
00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:33,371
BUT THE LEVEL OF BIGOTRY HAS

855
00:22:33,372 --> 00:22:36,749
BEEN TRULY UGLY.

856
00:22:36,750 --> 00:22:38,690
AND SOMETIMES PLAIN WEIRD.

857
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,529
IN TEXAS, REPUBLICANS WENT

858
00:22:40,530 --> 00:22:42,310
ALL-IN ON THE NOTION THAT JAMES

859
00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:44,189
TALARICO ISN'T MANLY ENOUGH TO

860
00:22:44,190 --> 00:22:44,749
BE SENATOR.

861
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:45,529
AFTER THE PRIMARY,

862
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:46,599
STEPHEN MILLER TWEETED, "THE

863
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:47,949
DEMOCRATS MADE HISTORY IN TEXAS

864
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,289
BY NOMINATING THEIR FIRST

865
00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:50,690
TRANSGENDER SENATE CANDIDATE."

866
00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:52,529
A PAC CALLED "CITIZENS FOR

867
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:54,510
SANITY" RELEASED THIS AD WITH AN

868
00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:56,169
AI-GENERATED TALARICO SINGING A

869
00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:57,489
PARODY OF "MY FAVORITE THINGS."

870
00:22:57,490 --> 00:22:58,849
AND THE PAXTON CAMPAIGN ITSELF

871
00:22:58,850 --> 00:23:01,329
CALLED TALARICO "TOO LOW-T FOR

872
00:23:01,330 --> 00:23:01,809
TEXAS."

873
00:23:01,810 --> 00:23:03,070
AND COME ON.

874
00:23:03,490 --> 00:23:05,630
GOD FORBID A MAN USE POMADE,

875
00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:07,569
EXFOLIATE, AND GENERALLY TRY TO

876
00:23:07,570 --> 00:23:08,848
LOOK A LITTLE MORE PUT TOGETHER

877
00:23:08,849 --> 00:23:10,490
THAN JABBA THE SLUT HERE.

878
00:23:10,970 --> 00:23:13,209
AND EVEN WHEN REPUBLICANS

879
00:23:13,210 --> 00:23:14,429
WEREN'T DOING SHITTY TRANS

880
00:23:14,430 --> 00:23:15,428
JOKES, THEY WERE IMPLYING

881
00:23:15,429 --> 00:23:17,050
TALARICO WAS GAY, LIKE WHEN

882
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:18,929
JD VANCE DID THIS HILARIOUS

883
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:20,254
PIECE OF CROWD WORK.

884
00:23:20,255 --> 00:23:24,612
>> BEFORE WE GET STARTED-- I

885
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:25,169
LOVE YOU TOO, SIR.

886
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:28,749
IN A TOTALLY PLATONIC WAY, TO BE

887
00:23:28,750 --> 00:23:29,750
CLEAR.

888
00:23:30,850 --> 00:23:32,389
I'M THE VICE PRESIDENT, NOT

889
00:23:32,390 --> 00:23:33,272
JAMES TALARICO.

890
00:23:33,273 --> 00:23:34,251
>> John: FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I

891
00:23:34,252 --> 00:23:36,007
THINK THE MOST BAFFLING THING

892
00:23:36,008 --> 00:23:37,270
THERE IS SOMEONE YELLING

893
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:39,610
"WE LOVE YOU" AT JD VANCE.

894
00:23:40,090 --> 00:23:42,129
I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE GENUINELY

895
00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:42,869
"LOVED" THAT MAN.

896
00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:43,989
I ASSUMED HIS COLLEAGUES HATE

897
00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,389
HIM, HIS WIFE TOLERATES HIM, AND

898
00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:46,549
EVEN HIS COUCH THINKS OF IT MORE

899
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:47,380
AS A "NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED"

900
00:23:47,381 --> 00:23:49,137
SITUATION.

901
00:23:49,230 --> 00:23:51,709
AND ALL THAT MIDDLE-SCHOOL LEVEL

902
00:23:51,710 --> 00:23:53,329
HOMOPHOBIA SOMEHOW GETS EVEN

903
00:23:53,330 --> 00:23:54,167
WEIRDER GIVEN TRUMP'S

904
00:23:54,168 --> 00:23:55,442
SIMULTANEOUSLY BEEN ABSOLUTELY

905
00:23:55,443 --> 00:23:57,495
SLOBBERING OVER THE HOTNESS OF

906
00:23:57,750 --> 00:23:59,010
THE MALE CANDIDATES HE'S

907
00:23:59,170 --> 00:24:01,129
PROMOTING-- ESPECIALLY OHIO'S

908
00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:01,923
JON HUSTED.

909
00:24:01,924 --> 00:24:02,644
>> I STARTED OFF BY STUDYING HIS

910
00:24:02,645 --> 00:24:03,631
ASS.

911
00:24:03,632 --> 00:24:05,909
I JUST WANTED TO SAY.

912
00:24:05,910 --> 00:24:07,750
AND I EXAMINED HIS ASS.

913
00:24:07,890 --> 00:24:11,269
HIS ASS, SHIT, IT'S LIKE A PILE

914
00:24:11,270 --> 00:24:11,848
OF MUSCLE.

915
00:24:11,849 --> 00:24:13,470
I'M EXAMINING HIS BODY.

916
00:24:15,270 --> 00:24:18,609
AND I SAID HIS ASS WAS LIKE A

917
00:24:18,610 --> 00:24:19,610
BIG PIECE OF MUSCLE.

918
00:24:19,970 --> 00:24:21,630
HIS FEET WERE MASSIVE.

919
00:24:22,530 --> 00:24:24,669
HIS HANDS, HIS FINGERS LOOK LIKE

920
00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:25,329
SAUSAGES.

921
00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,069
MY HANDS AREN'T BAD, BUT HIS

922
00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:28,838
FINGERS LOOK LIKE SAUSAGES.

923
00:24:28,839 --> 00:24:30,949
>> John: OKAY, HOLD ON-- HIS

924
00:24:30,950 --> 00:24:32,550
FINGERS LOOK LIKE SAUSAGES?

925
00:24:32,910 --> 00:24:34,349
IS THAT EVEN GOOD?

926
00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:36,670
IS THAT A THING PEOPLE WANT?

927
00:24:36,869 --> 00:24:38,070
"GOD, HE'S SO HOT.

928
00:24:38,670 --> 00:24:39,869
HIS FINGERS LOOK LIKE GROUND

929
00:24:39,870 --> 00:24:41,810
MEAT BURSTING OUT OF FAKE SKIN.

930
00:24:42,650 --> 00:24:43,909
SHIT, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'D

931
00:24:43,910 --> 00:24:45,369
SMELL BAD IF YOU LEFT THEM IN

932
00:24:45,370 --> 00:24:45,869
THE SUN.

933
00:24:45,870 --> 00:24:48,009
OH, GOD, HIS FINGERS LOOK LIKE

934
00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:49,269
THEY COULD GIVE YOU BOTULISM, I

935
00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:50,270
THINK I'M GONNA BLOW!"

936
00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:54,069
THE POINT IS, THE HOMOPHOBIA AND

937
00:24:54,070 --> 00:24:54,989
TRANSPHOBIA HAS BEEN

938
00:24:54,990 --> 00:24:56,383
OFF-THE-CHARTS THIS YEAR.

939
00:24:56,384 --> 00:24:58,444
AND WHAT'S WILD IS, SOME

940
00:24:58,445 --> 00:24:59,348
REPUBLICANS WILL ADMIT: THIS

941
00:24:59,349 --> 00:25:01,150
ISN'T EVEN WORKING FOR THEM.

942
00:25:01,330 --> 00:25:02,330
DADE PHELAN, A STATE

943
00:25:02,450 --> 00:25:03,589
REPRESENTATIVE IN TEXAS, HAS

944
00:25:03,590 --> 00:25:05,169
COMPLAINED, "WE'RE STILL RUNNING

945
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,189
TRANSGENDER ADS.

946
00:25:06,190 --> 00:25:07,529
IT'S JUST NOT RESONATING...

947
00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:08,530
WHAT REPUBLICANS ARE TALKING

948
00:25:08,690 --> 00:25:10,309
ABOUT IS JUST NOT WHAT THE SWING

949
00:25:10,310 --> 00:25:12,330
VOTER IS REALLY INTERESTED IN."

950
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:14,329
AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM FOR

951
00:25:14,330 --> 00:25:15,909
REPUBLICANS HERE: THINGS ARE

952
00:25:15,910 --> 00:25:17,969
CLEARLY BROKEN, IT'S NOT HARD TO

953
00:25:17,970 --> 00:25:19,470
TELL WHO BROKE THEM, AND YOU

954
00:25:19,630 --> 00:25:20,789
CAN'T FIX THINGS BY JUST

955
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:22,369
SCREAMING ABOUT GENDER OR

956
00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:22,869
MUSLIMS.

957
00:25:22,870 --> 00:25:24,229
IT HONESTLY SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT

958
00:25:24,230 --> 00:25:26,369
THE DEGREE TO WHICH ALL THIS

959
00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:28,250
FEARMONGERING MAY YET BACKFIRE

960
00:25:28,690 --> 00:25:30,349
THAT WHEN ONE MICHIGAN VOTER WAS

961
00:25:30,350 --> 00:25:31,370
ASKED ABOUT ABDUL EL-SAYED,

962
00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,569
AFTER BEING BARRAGED WITH ATTACK

963
00:25:33,570 --> 00:25:35,369
ADS AGAINST HIM, THIS WAS HER

964
00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:35,867
RESPONSE.

965
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:36,775
>> DO YOU WORRY THAT HE'S A BIT

966
00:25:36,776 --> 00:25:37,229
TOO LEFT-WING TO WIN IN

967
00:25:37,230 --> 00:25:37,471
MICHIGAN?

968
00:25:37,472 --> 00:25:38,137
>> AT THIS POINT, WHAT DO WE

969
00:25:38,138 --> 00:25:41,768
HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT?

970
00:25:41,769 --> 00:25:43,190
ANYTHING BUT WHAT WE HAVE.

971
00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:45,329
WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO HELL.

972
00:25:46,070 --> 00:25:48,870
SO AT THIS POINT, SOCIALIST,

973
00:25:50,610 --> 00:25:52,469
SOCIALIZED, SOCIAL, DON'T MATTER

974
00:25:52,470 --> 00:25:53,489
TO ME.

975
00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:55,324
LOWER MY COST OF LIVING.

976
00:25:55,325 --> 00:25:57,049
>> John: EXACTLY.

977
00:25:57,050 --> 00:25:58,850
THE POINT IS, VOTERS ARE

978
00:25:59,469 --> 00:26:00,469
JUSTIFIABLY FRUSTRATED.

979
00:26:00,570 --> 00:26:03,229
SO WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN WILL

980
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:04,089
HAPPEN ON TUESDAY?

981
00:26:04,090 --> 00:26:05,369
WELL, TO QUOTE MY SECOND LEAST

982
00:26:05,370 --> 00:26:06,549
FAVORITE REPUBLICAN RAPPER,

983
00:26:06,550 --> 00:26:08,869
"I DON'T KNOW, ASK GROK."

984
00:26:08,990 --> 00:26:10,909
BUT YOU CAN PROBABLY SAFELY

985
00:26:10,910 --> 00:26:12,129
ASSUME THAT, IF THINGS DON'T GO

986
00:26:12,130 --> 00:26:13,149
TRUMP'S WAY, HE'LL CLAIM THE

987
00:26:13,150 --> 00:26:14,589
ELECTION WAS RIGGED, AND DO

988
00:26:14,590 --> 00:26:15,689
EVERYTHING HE CAN TO UNDERMINE

989
00:26:15,690 --> 00:26:16,229
THE RESULTS.

990
00:26:16,230 --> 00:26:17,989
WHICH IS A STRONG ARGUMENT FOR

991
00:26:17,990 --> 00:26:19,589
YOU TURNING UP TO VOTE THIS

992
00:26:19,590 --> 00:26:21,249
YEAR, EVEN IN DISTRICTS WHERE

993
00:26:21,250 --> 00:26:22,489
YOU THINK YOUR CANDIDATES ARE

994
00:26:22,490 --> 00:26:23,309
SAFE.

995
00:26:23,310 --> 00:26:24,709
FOR ONE THING, REMEMBER, IF YOU

996
00:26:24,710 --> 00:26:26,289
DON'T VOTE, YOU'RE GOING TO

997
00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:26,849
HELL.

998
00:26:26,850 --> 00:26:29,169
BUT ALSO, THE BIGGER THE RESULTS

999
00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:30,629
FOR DEMOCRATS ON TUESDAY, THE

1000
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:32,149
HARDER THEY'LL BE FOR TRUMP TO

1001
00:26:32,150 --> 00:26:33,189
LITIGATE OR DENY.

1002
00:26:33,190 --> 00:26:35,349
LOOK, TRUMP'S SAID HE WANTS

1003
00:26:35,350 --> 00:26:36,869
PEOPLE TO PRETEND HE'S ON THE

1004
00:26:36,870 --> 00:26:38,449
BALLOT THIS YEAR, BUT I'M NOT

1005
00:26:38,450 --> 00:26:39,750
SURE PEOPLE EVEN NEED TO

1006
00:26:40,304 --> 00:26:41,864
PRETEND.

1007
00:26:41,865 --> 00:26:42,726
WE'RE NOW ALMOST HALFWAY THROUGH

1008
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:43,937
HIS SECOND TERM, HE'S HAD BOTH

1009
00:26:43,938 --> 00:26:45,041
THE HOUSE AND THE SENATE ON HIS

1010
00:26:45,042 --> 00:26:46,649
SIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, AND LOOK

1011
00:26:46,650 --> 00:26:47,650
WHERE IT'S GOT US.

1012
00:26:48,330 --> 00:26:50,209
FINALLY, ON TUESDAY, WE HAVE A

1013
00:26:50,210 --> 00:26:51,241
CHANCE TO APPLY SOME FUCKING

1014
00:26:51,242 --> 00:26:52,945
BRAKES.

1015
00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:54,729
AND IF WE CAN DO THAT, IF WE CAN

1016
00:26:54,730 --> 00:26:55,888
FINALLY SEND A MESSAGE TO THIS

1017
00:26:55,889 --> 00:26:56,849
ADMINISTRATION THAT PEOPLE ARE

1018
00:26:56,850 --> 00:26:59,049
NOT REMOTELY HAPPY WITH WHAT

1019
00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:00,170
IT'S BEEN DOING, THEN MAYBE,

1020
00:27:00,290 --> 00:27:02,969
JUST MAYBE, WE, LIKE IOWA'S

1021
00:27:02,970 --> 00:27:04,350
GREATEST EVER CHILD REPORTER,

1022
00:27:04,810 --> 00:27:07,189
WILL HAVE EARNED OURSELVES A

1023
00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:08,190
LITTLE TREAT.

1024
00:27:08,430 --> 00:27:10,024
AND NOW THIS.

1025
00:27:10,025 --> 00:27:13,751
>> Announcer: AND NOW,

1026
00:27:13,752 --> 00:27:15,188
PEOPLE ON TV REVISIT THEIR

1027
00:27:15,189 --> 00:27:17,064
CHILDHOOD HALLOWEEN TRAUMA.

1028
00:27:17,065 --> 00:27:18,252
>> DO YOU GO TRICK OR TREATING

1029
00:27:18,253 --> 00:27:19,136
AS A KID?

1030
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:19,688
>> OF COURSE I WENT TRICK OR

1031
00:27:19,689 --> 00:27:21,565
TREATING AS A KID.

1032
00:27:21,566 --> 00:27:22,449
>> NOT EVERYONE DID.

1033
00:27:22,450 --> 00:27:24,106
>> I. KNOW YOU DID.

1034
00:27:24,107 --> 00:27:25,707
>> EVERY CHILD GOES.

1035
00:27:25,708 --> 00:27:26,591
OF COURSE.

1036
00:27:26,592 --> 00:27:27,833
>> OF COURSE I DID.

1037
00:27:27,834 --> 00:27:28,834
>> MY AUNT GOT MARRIED ON

1038
00:27:29,270 --> 00:27:30,269
HALLOWEEN WHEN I WAS IN

1039
00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:30,989
SEVENTH GRADE.

1040
00:27:30,990 --> 00:27:33,259
DEPRIVED ME OF WHAT COULD HAVE

1041
00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:40,151
BEEN MY POSSIBLY LAST NIGHT OF

1042
00:27:40,152 --> 00:27:42,802
TRICK OR TREATING AS A KID.

1043
00:27:42,803 --> 00:27:44,040
>> I WOULD FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL.

1044
00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:47,044
THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO

1045
00:27:47,045 --> 00:27:48,634
LOOK.

1046
00:27:48,635 --> 00:27:50,754
>> HOCUS POCUS.

1047
00:27:50,755 --> 00:27:52,875
>> IS IT SCARY THOUGH?

1048
00:27:52,876 --> 00:27:55,032
>> I'VE HAD BAD EXPERIENCES AS A

1049
00:27:55,033 --> 00:27:56,056
CHILD.

1050
00:27:56,057 --> 00:27:57,187
I DON'T KNOW WHO ALLOWED ME TO

1051
00:27:57,188 --> 00:27:59,768
WATCH SCARY STUFF AS A KID.

1052
00:27:59,769 --> 00:28:01,394
>> THIS IS A PHOTO OF ME AS A

1053
00:28:01,395 --> 00:28:01,889
KID.

1054
00:28:01,890 --> 00:28:03,610
I WAS DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN.

1055
00:28:04,269 --> 00:28:05,449
IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.

1056
00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:06,129
I WAS DRESSED UP AS

1057
00:28:06,130 --> 00:28:07,331
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS.

1058
00:28:07,332 --> 00:28:09,135
>> EVERYONE KNOWS I'M NOT A BIG

1059
00:28:09,136 --> 00:28:09,849
HALLOWEEN FAN.

1060
00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:12,269
I GOT EGGED AND SHOT AT BY

1061
00:28:12,270 --> 00:28:13,910
AIRSOFT GUNS AS A CHILD.

1062
00:28:14,110 --> 00:28:15,870
THEY THROW APPLES AT MY HOUSE.

1063
00:28:16,390 --> 00:28:17,449
NO.

1064
00:28:17,450 --> 00:28:21,336
>> I WISH I HAD AN APPLE.

1065
00:28:21,337 --> 00:28:22,682
>> John: BEFORE WE GO, SOME

1066
00:28:22,683 --> 00:28:25,763
QUICK NEWS ABOUT SOMETHING VERY

1067
00:28:25,764 --> 00:28:26,331
STUPID THAT'S HAPPENING THIS

1068
00:28:26,332 --> 00:28:27,169
MONTH.

1069
00:28:27,170 --> 00:28:28,389
THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT'S

1070
00:28:28,390 --> 00:28:30,349
APPARENTLY LAUNCHING A NEW $250

1071
00:28:30,350 --> 00:28:32,139
COIN WITH TRUMP'S FACE ON IT--

1072
00:28:32,140 --> 00:28:33,149
AND WHEN THEY DO, IT'LL JOIN

1073
00:28:33,150 --> 00:28:35,269
THIS $1 COIN THEY RELEASED IN

1074
00:28:35,270 --> 00:28:36,529
SEPTEMBER, AND WHICH THE U.S.

1075
00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:38,830
TREASURER EVEN PROMOTED LIKE

1076
00:28:39,158 --> 00:28:40,192
THIS.

1077
00:28:40,193 --> 00:28:41,059
>> THIS IS THE TRUMP DOLLAR

1078
00:28:41,060 --> 00:28:41,689
COIN.

1079
00:28:41,690 --> 00:28:42,929
IT WILL BE IN THE BANKS NEXT

1080
00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:43,269
MONTH.

1081
00:28:43,270 --> 00:28:44,529
AND I WANT YOU TO CHALLENGE YOU

1082
00:28:44,530 --> 00:28:46,509
TO GO GET A ROLL OF TRUMP DOLLAR

1083
00:28:46,510 --> 00:28:48,149
COINS NEXT MONTH, AND THEN I

1084
00:28:48,150 --> 00:28:49,629
WANT YOU TO GO TO YOUR FAVORITE

1085
00:28:49,630 --> 00:28:51,289
LIBERAL COFFEE SHOP WITH YOUR

1086
00:28:51,290 --> 00:28:53,489
TRUMP DOLLAR COINS, BUY A CUP OF

1087
00:28:53,490 --> 00:28:54,769
COFFEE, AND WATCH THEIR HEADS

1088
00:28:54,770 --> 00:28:55,569
EXPLODE.

1089
00:28:55,570 --> 00:28:57,189
THEY WILL NOT LIKE IT, BUT I

1090
00:28:57,190 --> 00:28:57,982
LOVE IT, AND I LOVE THIS

1091
00:28:57,983 --> 00:29:00,536
PRESIDENT AND I LOVE THIS COIN.

1092
00:29:00,537 --> 00:29:01,008
>> John: THAT'S GREAT IDEA.

1093
00:29:01,009 --> 00:29:02,696
YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY DO THAT.

1094
00:29:02,697 --> 00:29:07,802
YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY BUY A ROLL

1095
00:29:07,803 --> 00:29:08,802
OF 25 $1 COINS FOR THE LOW, LOW

1096
00:29:08,803 --> 00:29:09,368
PRICE OF $61, THEN GO TO A

1097
00:29:09,369 --> 00:29:10,356
LIBERAL COFFEE SHOP AND GIVE

1098
00:29:10,357 --> 00:29:11,887
THEM THAT MONEY IN THE MIDDLE OF

1099
00:29:11,888 --> 00:29:12,888
A COST-OF-LIVING CRISIS CAUSED

1100
00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:14,469
BY THE MAN WITH HIS FACE ON THE

1101
00:29:14,470 --> 00:29:14,789
COINS.

1102
00:29:14,790 --> 00:29:16,509
AT EVERY POINT-- INCLUDING WHEN

1103
00:29:16,510 --> 00:29:17,489
YOU HAVE TO TAKE OUT YOUR PHONE

1104
00:29:17,490 --> 00:29:19,009
TO PROVE TO THE BARISTA THAT

1105
00:29:19,010 --> 00:29:20,169
WHAT YOU HAVE IS ACTUALLY LEGAL

1106
00:29:20,170 --> 00:29:22,149
CURRENCY-- YOU'LL DEFINITELY BE

1107
00:29:22,150 --> 00:29:23,350
WINNING THAT INTERACTION.

1108
00:29:24,530 --> 00:29:25,909
BUT THE COINS ARE JUST PART OF A

1109
00:29:25,910 --> 00:29:27,249
SERIES OF MOVES BY TRUMP TO PUT

1110
00:29:27,250 --> 00:29:28,109
HIMSELF ON MONEY.

1111
00:29:28,110 --> 00:29:28,969
IN MARCH, WE LEARNED HIS

1112
00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:29,969
SIGNATURE WOULD BE ADDED TO

1113
00:29:29,970 --> 00:29:30,970
FUTURE PAPER CURRENCY.

1114
00:29:31,070 --> 00:29:32,523
AND IN MAY, THIS HAPPENED.

1115
00:29:32,524 --> 00:29:33,556
>> OFFICIALS AT THE TREASURY

1116
00:29:33,557 --> 00:29:34,589
DEPARTMENT ARE LAYING THE

1117
00:29:34,590 --> 00:29:37,749
GROUNDWORK FOR A NEW $250 BILL

1118
00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:39,029
FEATURING PRESIDENT TRUMP'S

1119
00:29:39,030 --> 00:29:39,769
IMAGE.

1120
00:29:39,770 --> 00:29:41,489
A MOCK-UP WAS FIRST OBTAINED BY

1121
00:29:41,490 --> 00:29:42,569
"THE WASHINGTON POST."

1122
00:29:42,570 --> 00:29:43,909
IT'S MEANT TO COMMEMORATE THE

1123
00:29:43,910 --> 00:29:46,030
NATION'S 250TH ANNIVERSARY AND

1124
00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:47,769
WOULD BE THE FIRST TIME A LIVING

1125
00:29:47,770 --> 00:29:49,349
PERSON IS FEATURED ON AMERICAN

1126
00:29:49,350 --> 00:29:51,809
CURRENCY IN MORE THAN 150 YEARS.

1127
00:29:51,810 --> 00:29:53,309
>> John: YEAH, TRUMP APPARENTLY

1128
00:29:53,310 --> 00:29:55,430
WANTED TO PUT HIMSELF ON A $250

1129
00:29:55,610 --> 00:29:57,529
BILL, WITH THIS PORTRAIT OF HIM

1130
00:29:57,530 --> 00:29:59,249
LOOKING MAD AT YOU FOR HAVING

1131
00:29:59,250 --> 00:29:59,849
IT.

1132
00:29:59,850 --> 00:30:01,229
AND LOOK, IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT

1133
00:30:01,230 --> 00:30:03,489
SURPRISING HE'D WANT TO PUT HIS

1134
00:30:03,490 --> 00:30:04,315
FACE ON MONEY-- EVERYTHING

1135
00:30:04,316 --> 00:30:06,129
TRUMP DOES IS A NINE-YEAR-OLD'S

1136
00:30:06,130 --> 00:30:07,389
IDEA OF WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TO BE

1137
00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:08,709
PRESIDENT-- INCLUDING GETTING

1138
00:30:08,710 --> 00:30:10,549
PLANES AS PRESENTS, AND BUYING

1139
00:30:10,550 --> 00:30:12,110
ALL THE HAMBURGERS.

1140
00:30:12,730 --> 00:30:14,329
BUT INTERESTINGLY, IT'S ACTUALLY

1141
00:30:14,330 --> 00:30:15,769
ILLEGAL FOR HIM, OR INDEED

1142
00:30:15,770 --> 00:30:17,649
ANYONE, TO PUT THEMSELVES ON A

1143
00:30:17,650 --> 00:30:19,090
BILL, FOR A PRETTY FASCINATING

1144
00:30:19,338 --> 00:30:20,362
REASON.

1145
00:30:20,363 --> 00:30:21,449
>> AT THE END OF THE CIVIL WAR,

1146
00:30:21,450 --> 00:30:23,349
CONGRESS AUTHORIZED A FIVE-CENT

1147
00:30:23,350 --> 00:30:23,889
NOTE.

1148
00:30:23,890 --> 00:30:25,249
THE TREASURY MAN IN CHARGE OF

1149
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:26,289
PRINTING IT WAS ONE

1150
00:30:26,290 --> 00:30:27,530
SPENCER MORTON CLARK.

1151
00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:29,610
FOR REASONS KNOWN BEST TO HIM,

1152
00:30:29,770 --> 00:30:31,209
CLARK PUT A PICTURE OF HIMSELF

1153
00:30:31,210 --> 00:30:32,013
ON THE BILL.

1154
00:30:32,014 --> 00:30:32,980
>> MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE HIT THE

1155
00:30:32,981 --> 00:30:34,429
ROOF.

1156
00:30:34,430 --> 00:30:35,669
MARTIN THAYER OF DINWIDDIE

1157
00:30:35,670 --> 00:30:37,370
COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, CALLED IT

1158
00:30:37,850 --> 00:30:39,389
"DEROGATORY TO THE DIGNITY AND

1159
00:30:39,390 --> 00:30:41,150
THE SELF-RESPECT OF THE NATION."

1160
00:30:41,410 --> 00:30:44,409
AND, IN 1866, HE GOT CONGRESS TO

1161
00:30:44,410 --> 00:30:46,569
BAN IMAGES OF LIVE INDIVIDUALS

1162
00:30:46,570 --> 00:30:47,969
FROM OUR CURRENCY.

1163
00:30:47,970 --> 00:30:48,675
>> John: YEAH, IT'S TRUE: THE

1164
00:30:48,676 --> 00:30:50,689
REASON IT'S CURRENTLY ILLEGAL TO

1165
00:30:50,690 --> 00:30:52,229
PUT A LIVING PERSON ON CURRENCY

1166
00:30:52,230 --> 00:30:54,329
IS BECAUSE THIS GUY RUINED IT

1167
00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:55,049
FOR EVERYONE.

1168
00:30:55,050 --> 00:30:56,729
AND LISTEN, I'M NOT SAYING THAT

1169
00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:57,949
SPENCER MORTON CLARK LOOKS AT

1170
00:30:57,950 --> 00:30:58,989
ALL BAD ON THAT BILL!

1171
00:30:58,990 --> 00:30:59,929
I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE

1172
00:30:59,930 --> 00:31:01,890
WHEN I SAY, I ABSOLUTELY WOULD.

1173
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:03,998
IN FACT, CALL MY ASS "THE FIVE

1174
00:31:03,999 --> 00:31:05,329
CENT NOTE" BECAUSE I WANT HIS

1175
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:06,689
FACE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

1176
00:31:06,690 --> 00:31:09,049
BUT AMAZINGLY, THAT STORY

1177
00:31:09,050 --> 00:31:10,829
ACTUALLY UNDERSTATES JUST HOW

1178
00:31:10,830 --> 00:31:11,989
WEIRD THAT INCIDENT WAS.

1179
00:31:11,990 --> 00:31:13,309
BECAUSE BY SOME ACCOUNTS, CLARK

1180
00:31:13,310 --> 00:31:15,509
WAS ONLY ABLE TO PUT HIS FACE ON

1181
00:31:15,510 --> 00:31:16,489
THE FIVE-CENT NOTE BECAUSE

1182
00:31:16,490 --> 00:31:17,709
CONGRESS WANTED TO HONOR

1183
00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:19,729
WILLIAM CLARK OF THE LEWIS AND

1184
00:31:19,730 --> 00:31:20,399
CLARK EXPEDITION.

1185
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,809
BUT CRUCIALLY, THE DOCUMENT THAT

1186
00:31:21,810 --> 00:31:22,789
REACHED THE TREASURY SPECIFIED

1187
00:31:22,790 --> 00:31:23,809
ONLY THAT THE NEW BILL SHOULD

1188
00:31:23,810 --> 00:31:25,949
HONOR SOMEONE CALLED "CLARK,"

1189
00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:28,729
WITHOUT CLARIFYING WHICH ONE, SO

1190
00:31:28,730 --> 00:31:30,409
SPENCER M. HERE SEIZED THE

1191
00:31:30,410 --> 00:31:32,229
OPPORTUNITY TO PUT HIS OWN

1192
00:31:32,230 --> 00:31:33,450
PORTRAIT ON THE NOTES INSTEAD.

1193
00:31:33,550 --> 00:31:34,709
WHICH IS JUST INCREDIBLE!

1194
00:31:34,710 --> 00:31:36,569
THE POINT IS, THIS MESSY LITTLE

1195
00:31:36,570 --> 00:31:38,469
BITCH IS WHY IT'S CURRENTLY

1196
00:31:38,470 --> 00:31:40,299
ILLEGAL FOR A LIVING PERSON TO

1197
00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:41,289
APPEAR ON CURRENCY.

1198
00:31:41,290 --> 00:31:42,290
HISTORY'S AMAZING.

1199
00:31:42,950 --> 00:31:44,069
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING "WELL,

1200
00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:46,089
HOLD ON, IF THAT'S TRUE, HOW'S

1201
00:31:46,090 --> 00:31:47,540
TRUMP ON COINS?"

1202
00:31:47,541 --> 00:31:50,268
THE ADMINISTRATION'S ARGUING

1203
00:31:50,269 --> 00:31:51,750
"COINS DON'T COUNT."

1204
00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:53,810
AND, OKAY!

1205
00:31:53,990 --> 00:31:56,769
BUT SET ASIDE THE TRUMP CURRENCY

1206
00:31:56,770 --> 00:31:57,188
FOR A MOMENT.

1207
00:31:57,189 --> 00:31:57,989
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING

1208
00:31:57,990 --> 00:31:58,949
WEIRD WE DISCOVERED WHILE

1209
00:31:58,950 --> 00:32:00,430
LOOKING INTO HIS PROPOSED

1210
00:32:00,790 --> 00:32:02,650
$250 BILL, AND IT CONCERNS THE

1211
00:32:02,999 --> 00:32:04,373
HUNDRED.

1212
00:32:04,374 --> 00:32:05,060
BECAUSE DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE

1213
00:32:05,061 --> 00:32:05,989
MORE HUNDREDS IN CIRCULATION

1214
00:32:05,990 --> 00:32:07,909
THAN ANY OTHER BILL RIGHT NOW?

1215
00:32:07,910 --> 00:32:08,649
IT'S TRUE!

1216
00:32:08,650 --> 00:32:09,949
AND THAT'S BEEN THE CASE FOR A

1217
00:32:09,950 --> 00:32:10,278
WHILE.

1218
00:32:10,279 --> 00:32:11,862
>> THE $1 BILL WAS THE MOST

1219
00:32:11,863 --> 00:32:12,917
POPULAR CURRENCY IN THE U.S. FOR

1220
00:32:12,918 --> 00:32:15,029
YEARS.

1221
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:16,869
BUT IN 2017, FOR THE FIRST TIME

1222
00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:18,789
IN HISTORY, THE $100 BILL

1223
00:32:18,790 --> 00:32:19,669
SURPASSED THE ONE.

1224
00:32:19,670 --> 00:32:22,809
AND TODAY, 18.5 BILLION $100

1225
00:32:22,810 --> 00:32:24,526
NOTES ARE IN CIRCULATION.

1226
00:32:24,527 --> 00:32:25,755
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S A BIT ODD,

1227
00:32:25,756 --> 00:32:26,669
ISN'T IT?

1228
00:32:26,670 --> 00:32:28,329
BECAUSE YOU'D THINK SINGLES HAVE

1229
00:32:28,330 --> 00:32:29,729
MORE USES, FROM TIPPING, TO

1230
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:30,889
VENDING MACHINES, TO DOLLAR

1231
00:32:30,890 --> 00:32:32,408
STORES, TO LOTTERY TICKETS, TO

1232
00:32:32,409 --> 00:32:33,349
CONVINCING CHILDREN THAT, FOR

1233
00:32:33,350 --> 00:32:33,985
SOME REASON, A TINY,

1234
00:32:33,986 --> 00:32:34,907
BONE-HOARDING FAIRY BROKE INTO

1235
00:32:34,908 --> 00:32:36,534
THEIR BEDROOM AND PURCHASED

1236
00:32:36,535 --> 00:32:39,249
THEIR TEETH FOR CASH.

1237
00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:40,889
AND THE MORE YOU LOOK INTO THE

1238
00:32:40,890 --> 00:32:41,809
HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL, THE MORE

1239
00:32:41,810 --> 00:32:43,268
YOU REALIZE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT

1240
00:32:43,269 --> 00:32:44,410
IS KIND OF FASCINATING.

1241
00:32:44,550 --> 00:32:46,109
FOR INSTANCE, DID YOU KNOW THAT

1242
00:32:46,110 --> 00:32:47,609
U.S. CURRENCY USED TO COME IN

1243
00:32:47,610 --> 00:32:48,889
EVEN LARGER DENOMINATIONS?

1244
00:32:48,890 --> 00:32:50,469
THERE USED TO BE A $500 BILL,

1245
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:51,969
WITH McKINLEY ON IT, A $1000

1246
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,209
BILL, WITH GROVER CLEVELAND ON

1247
00:32:53,210 --> 00:32:55,169
IT, A $5000 BILL WITH JAMES

1248
00:32:55,170 --> 00:32:56,229
MADISON ON IT, AND EVEN A

1249
00:32:56,230 --> 00:32:58,109
$10,000 BILL, WITH TREASURY

1250
00:32:58,110 --> 00:32:59,969
SECRETARY SALMON CHASE ON IT?

1251
00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:00,769
AND WHILE I KNOW IT'S NOT THE

1252
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,769
POINT-- BACK IN THE 1800s, WE

1253
00:33:02,770 --> 00:33:04,249
REALLY WERE JUST NAMING PEOPLE

1254
00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:05,250
"SALMON," HUH?

1255
00:33:05,370 --> 00:33:07,729
ANYWAY, IN 1969, THE GOVERNMENT

1256
00:33:07,730 --> 00:33:09,149
ACTUALLY STOPPED ISSUING BILLS

1257
00:33:09,150 --> 00:33:10,149
LARGER THAN THE HUNDRED-- IN

1258
00:33:10,150 --> 00:33:11,269
PART BECAUSE OF INTERNAL

1259
00:33:11,270 --> 00:33:12,529
CONCERNS THAT LARGE DENOMINATION

1260
00:33:12,530 --> 00:33:13,989
NOTES WERE BEING USED ALMOST

1261
00:33:13,990 --> 00:33:15,929
EXCLUSIVELY BY PERSONS ENGAGED

1262
00:33:15,930 --> 00:33:16,969
IN ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.

1263
00:33:16,970 --> 00:33:19,109
SO NOW, THE BIGGEST BILL IS THE

1264
00:33:19,110 --> 00:33:20,110
HUNDRED-- AND APPARENTLY, THERE

1265
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:21,651
ARE MORE OF THEM OUT THERE THAN

1266
00:33:21,652 --> 00:33:22,907
ANYTHING ELSE.

1267
00:33:22,908 --> 00:33:23,546
WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION: WHERE

1268
00:33:23,547 --> 00:33:24,889
ARE THEY?

1269
00:33:24,890 --> 00:33:26,689
BECAUSE YOU DON'T TEND TO SEE

1270
00:33:26,690 --> 00:33:27,729
MANY.

1271
00:33:27,730 --> 00:33:28,889
WELL, ONE OF THE BILL'S BIGGEST

1272
00:33:28,890 --> 00:33:30,910
FANS IS ACTUALLY STEVE HARVEY,

1273
00:33:31,090 --> 00:33:32,741
WHO'S EVEN BRAGGED ABOUT HOW THE

1274
00:33:32,742 --> 00:33:33,925
HUNDRED'S THE ONLY DENOMINATION

1275
00:33:33,926 --> 00:33:35,057
HE CARRIES AROUND, FOR A TRULY

1276
00:33:35,550 --> 00:33:37,129
SPECTACULAR REASON HE ONCE

1277
00:33:37,130 --> 00:33:38,130
EXPLAINED DURING A

1278
00:33:38,220 --> 00:33:39,468
BEHIND-THE-SCENES MOMENT IN A

1279
00:33:39,469 --> 00:33:40,269
COVID-ERA TAPING OF

1280
00:33:40,270 --> 00:33:40,994
"FAMILY FEUD."

1281
00:33:40,995 --> 00:33:43,286
>> IT'S LIKE ME, I DON'T DEAL IN

1282
00:33:43,393 --> 00:33:46,482
SINGLES, $5s, $10s, $20s.

1283
00:33:46,590 --> 00:33:48,790
IF I'M AT A GROCERY STORE, WHICH

1284
00:33:48,990 --> 00:33:51,452
THAT'S NEVER, BUT IF I GIVE YOU

1285
00:33:51,453 --> 00:33:53,540
A $100 AND YOUR CHANGE-- YOU

1286
00:33:53,750 --> 00:33:55,589
GIVE ME CHANGE, WHOEVER'S

1287
00:33:55,590 --> 00:33:56,829
TRAVELING WITH ME, I GIVE THEM

1288
00:33:56,830 --> 00:33:57,780
ALL THE CHANGE.

1289
00:33:57,781 --> 00:34:00,149
IF IT'S $20s, $10s, $5s, IF IT'S

1290
00:34:00,150 --> 00:34:02,629
$80 OF CHANGE, I GIVE IT AWAY.

1291
00:34:02,630 --> 00:34:04,869
I DON'T WANT NOTHING EXCEPT

1292
00:34:04,870 --> 00:34:05,459
$100s, BECAUSE IT'S THE LAW OF

1293
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:08,408
ATTRACTION.

1294
00:34:08,409 --> 00:34:10,130
I ONLY WANT $100s.

1295
00:34:10,730 --> 00:34:12,677
THAT'S THE LARGEST DENOMINATION

1296
00:34:12,678 --> 00:34:13,783
BILL, THAT'S WHAT I ATTRACT.

1297
00:34:13,784 --> 00:34:14,889
SO, I ATTRACT $100s.

1298
00:34:14,890 --> 00:34:16,068
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT NOTHING

1299
00:34:16,069 --> 00:34:16,888
ELSE.

1300
00:34:16,889 --> 00:34:18,155
IT'S THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.

1301
00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:22,435
>> John: THAT MIGHT BE ONE OF

1302
00:34:22,436 --> 00:34:23,528
THE WEIRDEST, MOST FASCINATING

1303
00:34:23,529 --> 00:34:25,569
THINGS ANYONE'S EVER SAID.

1304
00:34:25,850 --> 00:34:27,448
IT TURNS OUT, THE SECRET TO

1305
00:34:27,449 --> 00:34:28,629
BUILDING WEALTH ISN'T SAVING

1306
00:34:28,630 --> 00:34:29,650
AGGRESSIVELY AND INVESTING

1307
00:34:29,969 --> 00:34:30,969
WISELY-- IT'S SIMPLY STANDING

1308
00:34:30,970 --> 00:34:32,509
NEXT TO STEVE HARVEY WHENEVER HE

1309
00:34:32,510 --> 00:34:33,630
BUYS TIC TACS.

1310
00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:36,068
BUT CLEARLY, STEVE HARVEY ISN'T

1311
00:34:36,069 --> 00:34:37,090
HOARDING ALL THE HUNDREDS.

1312
00:34:37,190 --> 00:34:38,669
SO AGAIN-- WHERE ARE THEY?

1313
00:34:38,670 --> 00:34:39,669
WELL, A SURPRISING AMOUNT

1314
00:34:39,670 --> 00:34:40,849
ACTUALLY END UP OVERSEAS.

1315
00:34:40,850 --> 00:34:43,250
BY ONE ESTIMATE, ABOUT 70% OF

1316
00:34:43,430 --> 00:34:45,269
$100 BILLS WERE HELD ABROAD AS

1317
00:34:45,270 --> 00:34:46,269
OF THE END OF 2022.

1318
00:34:46,270 --> 00:34:47,129
AND THERE ARE A BUNCH OF REASONS

1319
00:34:47,130 --> 00:34:47,528
FOR THIS.

1320
00:34:47,529 --> 00:34:48,809
FIRST, A DOZEN COUNTRIES AND

1321
00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:50,408
TERRITORIES USE THE DOLLAR AS

1322
00:34:50,409 --> 00:34:51,749
THEIR OFFICIAL CURRENCY, WITH

1323
00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:53,389
MANY OTHERS USING IT ALONGSIDE

1324
00:34:53,390 --> 00:34:54,089
THEIR OWN.

1325
00:34:54,090 --> 00:34:55,289
ALSO, PEOPLE IN COUNTRIES

1326
00:34:55,290 --> 00:34:56,529
EXPERIENCING INSTABILITY MIGHT

1327
00:34:56,530 --> 00:34:58,129
PREFER THE HUNDRED, BECAUSE, AS

1328
00:34:58,130 --> 00:34:59,829
ONE REPORT FROM THE FED PUT IT,

1329
00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:01,609
THEY CAN BE A STORE OF VALUE

1330
00:35:01,610 --> 00:35:03,028
WHEN THE PURCHASING POWER OF THE

1331
00:35:03,029 --> 00:35:04,808
DOMESTIC CURRENCY IS UNCERTAIN.

1332
00:35:04,809 --> 00:35:06,129
WHICH MAKES SENSE.

1333
00:35:06,130 --> 00:35:07,189
BASICALLY, WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE

1334
00:35:07,190 --> 00:35:08,709
FAILS, IT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN

1335
00:35:08,710 --> 00:35:09,729
RELY ON.

1336
00:35:09,730 --> 00:35:10,849
THINK OF THE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL

1337
00:35:10,850 --> 00:35:12,790
LIKE A LITTLE BAG OF DIAMONDS OR

1338
00:35:13,270 --> 00:35:14,649
MERRIT WEAVER IN A SUPPORTING

1339
00:35:14,650 --> 00:35:15,089
ROLE.

1340
00:35:15,090 --> 00:35:17,230
IT WILL ALWAYS HOLD VALUE.

1341
00:35:17,590 --> 00:35:19,908
BUT THE HUNDRED'S ALSO VERY MUCH

1342
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:20,908
THE CURRENCY OF CHOICE FOR

1343
00:35:20,909 --> 00:35:21,669
CRIMINALS.

1344
00:35:21,670 --> 00:35:22,729
WHEN SADDAM HUSSEIN WAS FOUND,

1345
00:35:22,730 --> 00:35:25,349
HE HAD $750,000 IN HUNDREDS WITH

1346
00:35:25,350 --> 00:35:25,689
HIM.

1347
00:35:25,690 --> 00:35:26,930
WHEN WHITEY BULGER WAS ARRESTED,

1348
00:35:27,050 --> 00:35:29,099
FBI AGENTS FOUND $822 THOUSAND

1349
00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:30,309
DOLLARS HIDDEN INSIDE THE WALLS

1350
00:35:30,310 --> 00:35:31,849
OF HIS APARTMENT, MUCH OF WHICH

1351
00:35:31,850 --> 00:35:33,330
WAS IN $100 BILLS.

1352
00:35:33,569 --> 00:35:34,889
AND A SEIZURE IN MEXICO OVER

1353
00:35:34,890 --> 00:35:35,908
DRUG AND MONEY LAUNDERING

1354
00:35:35,909 --> 00:35:36,909
CHARGES ONCE YIELDED

1355
00:35:37,550 --> 00:35:38,949
$205 MILLION IN CASH, ALMOST

1356
00:35:39,210 --> 00:35:40,488
ENTIRELY IN HUNDREDS, THAT

1357
00:35:40,489 --> 00:35:41,448
LOOKED LIKE THIS.

1358
00:35:41,449 --> 00:35:44,129
AND LOOK, IT MAKES SENSE FOR

1359
00:35:44,130 --> 00:35:45,929
CRIMINALS TO PREFER THE HUNDRED

1360
00:35:45,930 --> 00:35:46,419
DOLLAR BILL.

1361
00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:47,989
IT'S THE MOST VALUE, IN THE MOST

1362
00:35:47,990 --> 00:35:48,990
COMPACT SPACE.

1363
00:35:49,510 --> 00:35:50,809
$1 MILLION IN HUNDREDS WEIGHS

1364
00:35:50,810 --> 00:35:51,870
ABOUT 22 POUNDS, WHILE

1365
00:35:52,050 --> 00:35:53,169
$1 MILLION IN TWENTIES OBVIOUSLY

1366
00:35:53,170 --> 00:35:54,909
WEIGHS FIVE TIMES AS MUCH.

1367
00:35:54,910 --> 00:35:55,969
AND FOR DRUG CARTELS IN

1368
00:35:55,970 --> 00:35:57,849
PARTICULAR, A BIG PART OF THEIR

1369
00:35:57,850 --> 00:35:59,289
BUSINESS IS JUST FIGURING OUT

1370
00:35:59,290 --> 00:36:00,969
HOW TO MOVE LARGE QUANTITIES OF

1371
00:36:00,970 --> 00:36:01,970
PAPER MONEY AROUND.

1372
00:36:02,090 --> 00:36:04,129
IN FACT, VERY OFTEN, THE CASH

1373
00:36:04,130 --> 00:36:05,769
FROM DRUG SALES IS CONVERTED

1374
00:36:05,770 --> 00:36:07,803
INTO HUNDREDS OR FIFTIES, VACUUM

1375
00:36:07,804 --> 00:36:10,604
SEALED, THEN CONCEALED IN THE

1376
00:36:10,605 --> 00:36:11,669
STRUCTURE OF CARS OR TRUCKS.

1377
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,469
IN FACT, JUST WATCH AS A BORDER

1378
00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:15,028
PATROL TEAM STARTS PRYING OPEN A

1379
00:36:15,029 --> 00:36:16,510
CAR AT THE MEXICAN BORDER, AND

1380
00:36:16,610 --> 00:36:18,429
PULLING BLOCKS OF CASH OUT FROM

1381
00:36:18,430 --> 00:36:19,430
UNDER ITS WINDSHIELD.

1382
00:36:19,670 --> 00:36:20,690
>> AH, YEAH, I CAN'T REACH THAT.

1383
00:36:21,110 --> 00:36:22,149
IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MOUSE.

1384
00:36:22,150 --> 00:36:23,349
BUT EACH CARTEL HAS THEIR OWN

1385
00:36:23,350 --> 00:36:24,028
MARKINGS.

1386
00:36:24,029 --> 00:36:25,469
IT'S THE WAY THEY DISTINGUISH

1387
00:36:25,470 --> 00:36:26,749
WHERE IT'S COMING FROM AND WHO

1388
00:36:26,750 --> 00:36:27,549
IT'S GOING TO.

1389
00:36:27,550 --> 00:36:28,550
IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT

1390
00:36:28,890 --> 00:36:29,966
DENOMINATIONS THESE ARE IN.

1391
00:36:29,967 --> 00:36:37,003
SO-- OH, THESE ARE $100s.

1392
00:36:37,004 --> 00:36:38,763
>> John: OKAY, LET'S BE CLEAR

1393
00:36:38,764 --> 00:36:40,939
ABOUT WHAT THE MOST INTERESTING

1394
00:36:40,940 --> 00:36:42,849
THING IS THERE: CARTELS WILL

1395
00:36:42,850 --> 00:36:44,129
SOMETIMES MARK THEIR STACKS OF

1396
00:36:44,130 --> 00:36:46,889
CASH WITH A LITTLE MOUSIE TO

1397
00:36:46,890 --> 00:36:48,239
IDENTIFY WHO THEY BELONG TO.

1398
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,430
AND I REALLY HOPE THAT MEANS

1399
00:36:49,770 --> 00:36:51,449
THIS PARTICULAR STACK BELONGS TO

1400
00:36:51,450 --> 00:36:52,809
A POWERFUL DRUG KINGPIN WHO ALSO

1401
00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:54,529
JUST HAPPENS TO BE A MOUSE.

1402
00:36:54,989 --> 00:36:57,889
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND.

1403
00:36:59,010 --> 00:37:00,769
IT'S FRANKLY NO WONDER THAT, AS

1404
00:37:00,770 --> 00:37:01,689
ONE EXPERT PUT IT, HUNDRED

1405
00:37:01,690 --> 00:37:03,509
DOLLAR BILLS PLAY LITTLE ROLE IN

1406
00:37:03,510 --> 00:37:04,358
THE FUNCTIONING OF THE

1407
00:37:04,359 --> 00:37:05,449
LEGITIMATE ECONOMY, YET A

1408
00:37:05,450 --> 00:37:07,249
CRUCIAL ROLE IN THE UNDERGROUND

1409
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:07,609
ONE.

1410
00:37:07,610 --> 00:37:09,329
AND ALL OF THIS IS WHY SOME HAVE

1411
00:37:09,330 --> 00:37:10,568
SUGGESTED THE HUNDRED SHOULD

1412
00:37:10,569 --> 00:37:11,850
ACTUALLY BE PHASED OUT.

1413
00:37:11,990 --> 00:37:13,489
WHICH MIGHT MAKE SENSE.

1414
00:37:13,490 --> 00:37:14,489
TO BE CLEAR, THE BILLS IN

1415
00:37:14,490 --> 00:37:16,009
CIRCULATION WOULD STILL BE VALID

1416
00:37:16,010 --> 00:37:17,390
-- WE'D JUST STOP PRINTING ANY

1417
00:37:17,550 --> 00:37:18,808
MORE, AND THEN RETIRE THEM

1418
00:37:18,809 --> 00:37:20,549
WHENEVER THEY RETURN TO BANKS.

1419
00:37:20,730 --> 00:37:22,269
ESSENTIALLY THE SAME THING WE

1420
00:37:22,270 --> 00:37:23,389
DID WITH ALL THE OLD

1421
00:37:23,390 --> 00:37:24,229
DENOMINATIONS.

1422
00:37:24,230 --> 00:37:26,229
AND LOOK, EVEN IF WE DON'T PHASE

1423
00:37:26,230 --> 00:37:27,869
OUT THE HUNDRED, IT'S PRETTY

1424
00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:30,329
CLEAR THAT WE SHOULDN'T BE

1425
00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:32,109
MAKING A BILL ANY LARGER THAN

1426
00:37:32,110 --> 00:37:32,429
IT.

1427
00:37:32,430 --> 00:37:34,109
ALL OF WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO

1428
00:37:34,110 --> 00:37:35,709
TRUMP'S $250 BILL.

1429
00:37:35,710 --> 00:37:37,169
BECAUSE HOPEFULLY, YOU CAN NOW

1430
00:37:37,170 --> 00:37:39,109
SEE WHY THAT'S AN EVEN WORSE

1431
00:37:39,110 --> 00:37:41,170
IDEA THAN IT INITIALLY SOUNDS.

1432
00:37:41,490 --> 00:37:42,829
IN FACT, IF YOU TAKE ONE THING

1433
00:37:42,830 --> 00:37:43,829
AWAY FROM THIS PIECE, IT SHOULD

1434
00:37:43,830 --> 00:37:44,829
PROBABLY BE THAT.

1435
00:37:44,830 --> 00:37:46,290
IF YOU TAKE A SECOND THING AWAY,

1436
00:37:46,529 --> 00:37:47,629
IT SHOULD BE THAT WE USED TO PUT

1437
00:37:47,630 --> 00:37:49,469
CERTIFIED SMOKESHOWS ON OUR

1438
00:37:49,470 --> 00:37:50,468
MONEY.

1439
00:37:50,469 --> 00:37:52,170
AND IF YOU TAKE A THIRD THING

1440
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,449
AWAY: IF YOU EVER SEE

1441
00:37:53,450 --> 00:37:55,010
STEVE HARVEY IN AN AIRPORT,

1442
00:37:55,510 --> 00:37:57,069
BUYING A MAGAZINE FOR HIS

1443
00:37:57,229 --> 00:37:58,630
FLIGHT, TRY AND GET AS CLOSE TO

1444
00:37:59,662 --> 00:38:00,847
HIM AS YOU CAN, BECAUSE YOU NOW

1445
00:38:00,848 --> 00:38:02,034
KNOW, HE'S GOING TO BE PAYING

1446
00:38:02,035 --> 00:38:03,615
WITH A HUNDRED, AND HE'S ABOUT

1447
00:38:03,616 --> 00:38:04,801
TO MAKE IT RAIN ALL OVER A

1448
00:38:04,802 --> 00:38:05,988
HUDSON NEWS.

1449
00:38:05,989 --> 00:38:07,829
AND NOW, THIS.

1450
00:38:08,603 --> 00:38:10,874
>> Announcer: AND NOW, OUR

1451
00:38:10,875 --> 00:38:11,908
ANNUAL LOOK AT THE WONDER THAT

1452
00:38:11,909 --> 00:38:14,289
IS HALLOWEEN ON LOCAL TV.

1453
00:38:14,433 --> 00:38:17,522
>> ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY

1454
00:38:17,664 --> 00:38:19,677
I'M BATMAN.

1455
00:38:19,819 --> 00:38:23,999
>> AND I'M WEDNESDAY ADDAMS.

1456
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,489
>> I'M DAVE MORALES AND THIS IS

1457
00:38:25,490 --> 00:38:26,490
MY COSTUME.

1458
00:38:26,610 --> 00:38:27,610
GUESS WHO'S BACK?

1459
00:38:27,710 --> 00:38:28,779
BACK AGAIN.

1460
00:38:28,780 --> 00:38:30,899
>> BEETLEJUICE IS BACK, TELL

1461
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:32,488
YOUR FRIENDS.

1462
00:38:32,489 --> 00:38:35,739
>> WHAT HAPPEN WE PLAN TO BE ON

1463
00:38:35,740 --> 00:38:37,788
DION AND SHARE.

1464
00:38:37,789 --> 00:38:39,410
ONE OF OUR COSTUMES ARRIVED.

1465
00:38:39,411 --> 00:38:41,504
>> IT IS I, HADES THE KING OF

1466
00:38:41,505 --> 00:38:45,567
THE UNDERWORLD ALSO KNOWN AS

1467
00:38:45,568 --> 00:38:46,799
PRODUCER TEDDY.

1468
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,728
>> THIS IS UNZIPPED IN THE

1469
00:38:48,729 --> 00:38:49,877
FRONT.

1470
00:38:49,878 --> 00:38:51,849
>> I'M SEEING A LOT OF HAIR.

1471
00:38:51,850 --> 00:38:53,229
I DID NOT WANT TO BE THE BACK

1472
00:38:53,230 --> 00:38:53,704
HALF.

1473
00:38:53,705 --> 00:38:55,956
>> WE THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER FOR

1474
00:38:55,957 --> 00:38:56,518
OPTICS.

1475
00:38:56,519 --> 00:39:01,022
>> THAT I WAS BEHIND YOU?

1476
00:39:01,023 --> 00:39:02,149
>> LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE

1477
00:39:02,150 --> 00:39:03,590
THE WETTEST OF THE NEXT WEEK.

1478
00:39:03,704 --> 00:39:07,875
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

1479
00:39:07,989 --> 00:39:08,989
I CAN'T.

1480
00:39:10,469 --> 00:39:11,469
I CAN'T.

1481
00:39:11,619 --> 00:39:12,689
>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

1482
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,137
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

1483
00:39:14,138 --> 00:39:14,994
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

1484
00:39:14,995 --> 00:39:15,643
GOODNIGHT!

1485
00:39:15,644 --> 00:39:16,372
[CHEERS AND APPAUSE]

1486
00:39:16,373 --> 00:39:17,586
♪ ♪