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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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>> John: HI THERE!

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW, STILL

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TAKING PLACE IN THIS BLANK VOID.

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THINK OF IT LIKE ANTARCTICA,

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IT'S A BLINDINGLY WHITE EXPANSE

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OCCASIONALLY INTERRUPTED

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BY A SINGLE WELL-DRESSED BIRD.

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AND IT HAS BEEN A GENUINELY

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EXTRAORDINARY WEEK FOR

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THE WHITE HOUSE.

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A SIGN OF JUST HOW CRAZY THINGS

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GOT IS THAT WE DON'T HAVE TIME

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TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT

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TRUMP REPORTEDLY PAID INCOME TAX

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RANGING FROM THE HIGH THREE

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FIGURES ALL THE WAY DOWN TO

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ZERO FIGURES FOR MULTIPLE YEARS,

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OR THE FACT THAT HIS WIFE WAS

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CAUGHT ON TAPE ESSENTIALLY

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SAYING "FUCK CHRISTMAS,"

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OR EVEN THIS MOMENT IN TUESDAY'S

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CATASTROPHIC DEBATE.

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>> THE LOW POINT OF THE DEBATE,

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AND POSSIBLY OF TRUMP'S ENTIRE

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CAMPAIGN, WAS WHEN THE PRESIDENT

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REFUSED TO CONDEMN

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WHITE SUPREMACISTS.

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>> ARE YOU WILLING TONIGHT TO

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CONDEMN WHITE SUPREMACISTS AND

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MILITIA GROUPS?

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>> SURE.

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>> AND TO SAY THAT THEY NEED

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TO STAND DOWN AND NOT ADD

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TO THE VIOLENCE IN A NUMBER OF

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THESE CITIES.

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>> I'M WILLING TO DO ANYTHING,

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I WANT TO SEE PEACE.

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>> WELL, THEN DO IT, SIR.

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>> DO IT, SAY IT.

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>> YOU WANT TO CALL THEM --

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WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL THEM?

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GIVE ME A NAME.

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GIVE ME A NAME.

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>> WHITE SUPREMACISTS AND

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RIGHT-WING MILITIAS.

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>> PROUD BOYS.

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>> PROUD BOYS, STAND BACK AND

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STAND BY.

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>> John: THAT DOES NOT GET

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ANY EASIER TO WATCH.

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BECAUSE THE QUESTION WAS

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"DO YOU CONDEMN

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WHITE SUPREMACISTS?"

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TO WHICH TRUMP RESPONDED BY

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ESSENTIALLY RALLYING THEM.

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AND IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE ANOTHER

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DEBATE QUESTION THAT EASY, OR AN

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ANSWER THAT HORRIBLE, ASIDE FROM

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MAYBE CHRIS WALLACE ASKING "HOW

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MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"

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AND TRUMP RESPONDING, "HITLER

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HAD SOME REALLY GOOD IDEAS."

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BUT OBVIOUSLY, THE BIGGEST NEWS

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OF THE WEEK CAME EARLY FRIDAY

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MORNING, WHEN TRUMP REVEALED

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THAT HE AND MELANIA HAD TESTED

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POSITIVE FOR THE CORONAVIRUS.

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IT WAS NEWS THAT FELT BOTH

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SHOCKING AND UTTERLY INEVITABLE,

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ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT JUST THREE

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DAYS EARLIER, HE'D STOOD ON

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A DEBATE STAGE AND, WHEN ASKED

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ABOUT WHETHER HE'D DOWNPLAYED

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THE EFFICACY OF MASKS,

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SAID THIS:

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>> I MEAN, I HAVE A MASK RIGHT

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HERE.

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I PUT A MASK ON, YOU KNOW, WHEN

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I THINK I NEED IT.

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WHEN NEEDED, I WEAR MASKS.

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>> OKAY.

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LET ME ASK --

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>> I DON'T -- I DON'T WEAR

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A MASK LIKE HIM.

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EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM, HE'S GOT

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A MASK.

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HE COULD BE SPEAKING 200 FEET

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AWAY FROM HIM, HE SHOWS UP

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WITH THE BIGGEST MASK I'VE EVER

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SEEN.

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>> John: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

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BIDEN WEARS A MASK IN SITUATIONS

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WHERE IT'S DANGEROUS NOT TO.

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I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT TRUMP

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WOULD BE LIKE STANDING NEXT

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TO A BEEKEEPER.

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"I DON'T WEAR A BEEKEEPER SUIT

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LIKE HIM.

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EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM, HE'S

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WEARING A BEEKEEPER SUIT.

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NOT ME, BECAUSE I'M SMART AND

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STRONG.

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THIS WHOLE BEE THING IS A HOAX

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ANYWAY."

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LOOK, OBVIOUSLY, THE PRESIDENT

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HAVING THE CORONAVIRUS IS

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A VERY BIG DEAL.

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AND WE'RE RECORDING THIS

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ON SATURDAY, SO WHO KNOWS WHAT'S

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HAPPENED OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS.

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WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT SO FAR,

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THE WHITE HOUSE HAS HANDLED

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THE SITUATION TERRIBLY.

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FIRST, THE NEWS ONLY CAME OUT

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AFTER REPORTERS DISCOVERED THAT

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ONE OF TRUMP'S CLOSEST AIDES,

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HOPE HICKS, WHO'D TRAVELED WITH

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TRUMP TO THE DEBATE, HAD TESTED

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POSITIVE.

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PROMPTING THE OBVIOUS QUESTION

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OF WHEN THE PRESIDENT LEARNED

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HE'D BEEN EXPOSED, AND WHAT HE'D

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DONE ABOUT IT, AND THE ANSWERS

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THERE WEREN'T GREAT.

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>> THE WHITE HOUSE KNEW ON

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THURSDAY MORNING THAT HOPE HICKS

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HAD SYMPTOMS OF CORONAVIRUS, BUT

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DESPITE THAT, THE PRESIDENT WENT

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AHEAD WITH PLANS TO TRAVEL

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TO NEW JERSEY FOR A FUNDRAISER

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ANYWAY.

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>> IT WAS DEEMED SAFE FOR

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THE PRESIDENT TO GO.

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HE SOCIALLY DISTANCED, IT WAS AN

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OUTDOOR EVENT, AND IT WAS DEEMED

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SAFE BY WHITE HOUSE OPERATIONS.

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>> John: OKAY, NORMALLY I'D

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CRITICIZE THE WHITE HOUSE

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OPERATIONS TEAM FOR EITHER

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HAVING NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT IS

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AND ISN'T SAFE OR JUST NOT

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CARING, BUT GIVEN THAT THERE'S

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A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE THAT MOST

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OF THEM HAVE COVID NOW,

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I GUESS I'LL JUST SAY,

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"FEEL BETTER, GUYS."

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AND SO MANY OF THE DECISIONS

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TRUMP AND THOSE AROUND HIM MADE

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THIS WEEK NOW LOOK APPALLING

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IN HINDSIGHT -- FROM HIS FAMILY

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REFUSING TO WEAR MASKS

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AT TUESDAY'S DEBATE, TO FAILING

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TO NOTIFY ANYONE ON THE BIDEN

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TEAM THAT THEY MAY HAVE BEEN

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EXPOSED, TO THE FACT THAT

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THE FUNDRAISER HE ATTENDED

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JUST BEFORE TESTING POSITIVE

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WAS A FUCKING BUFFET!

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BUT MAYBE THE EVENT THAT LOOKS

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THE WORST TOOK PLACE LAST

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WEEKEND.

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>> THERE IS ALSO SOME FOCUS

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ON THIS EVENT THAT WAS HELD

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AT THE WHITE HOUSE LAST SATURDAY

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WHEN THE PRESIDENT ANNOUNCED HIS

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PICK FOR THE SUPREME COURT,

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AMY CONEY BARRETT.

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WE KNOW THAT UTAH SENATOR

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MIKE LEE, WHO WAS AT THAT EVENT,

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THE PRESIDENT OF NOTRE DAME, WHO

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WAS ALSO AT THAT EVENT, HAVE

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BOTH TESTED POSITIVE NOW FOR

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THE CORONAVIRUS.

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OBVIOUSLY, WHITE HOUSE OFFICIALS

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WERE AT THAT EVENT, AND SO THERE

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IS THE POTENTIAL THAT ALL OF

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THIS BEGAN THERE.

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>> John: YES, MUCH LIKE

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THE SLEW OF UTTERLY HORRIFYING

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SUPREME COURT RULINGS OVER

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THE NEXT FEW DECADES, IT SEEMS

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WE MAY LOOK BACK ON LAST

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SATURDAY'S WHITE HOUSE EVENT AND

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SAY, "ALL OF THIS BEGAN THERE."

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AND THERE IS SOMETHING UTTERLY

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INFURIATING ABOUT WATCHING THEM

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HUGGING EACH OTHER WHEN MANY IN

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THIS COUNTRY HAVEN'T SEEN THEIR

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FAMILIES FOR MONTHS OR HAVE DIED

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ALONE IN A HOSPITAL!

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AND IT'S NOT JUST THAT THEY'RE

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PUTTING THEMSELVES AT RISK --

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MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT'S THAT

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THEY'RE RISKING INFECTING

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OTHERS.

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THE THING ABOUT A HIGHLY

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CONTAGIOUS VIRUS IS, YOUR

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RECKLESSNESS COULD END UP

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KILLING SOMEONE YOU NEVER MEET.

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AND THEY'RE STILL DOING IT!

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BILL BARR, WHO WAS AT THAT EVENT

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AND MAY HAVE BEEN EXPOSED,

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IS CHOOSING NOT TO QUARANTINE

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HIMSELF.

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MEANWHILE, FOUR REPUBLICANS WHO

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TRAVELED WITH TRUMP THIS WEEK

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NOT ONLY DIDN'T QUARANTINE,

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THEY SHOWED UP TO THE HOUSE

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TO VOTE IN PERSON, THEN THREE

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OF THEM TOOK A DELTA FLIGHT

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HOME!

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THE FRUSTRATING THING IS,

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REPUBLICANS SEEM TO BE HANDLING

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THIS OUTBREAK THE WAY THEY'VE

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HANDLED THE WHOLE PANDEMIC, WITH

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A MIXTURE OF DENIALISM, HUBRIS,

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AND TREATING IT MORE AS

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A P.R CRISIS THAN ONE OF

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PUBLIC HEALTH, WHICH HAS HAD

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HUGE KNOCK-ON EFFECTS.

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AND THERE MIGHT BE NO BETTER

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EXAMPLE OF THIS THAN THIS TRUMP

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SUPPORTER -- OUTSIDE THE

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HOSPITAL TRUMP WAS RUSHED TO ON

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FRIDAY -- EXPLAINING WHY HE

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WASN'T WEARING A MASK.

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>> WELL, I'M YOUNG, AND I'M NOT

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AT RISK FOR COVID, SO WITH THE

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SURVIVAL RATES THAT WE'VE SEEN,

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IT'S FRANKLY HYSTERIA WHAT WE'RE

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SEEING WITH COVID, SO.

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>> ARE YOU EVER CONCERNED YOU

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COULD POSSIBLY BE ASYMPTOMATIC

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AND PASS IT TO SOMEONE ELSE?

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>> YES, I DO HAVE THOSE

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CONCERNS, BUT I DON'T BUY INTO

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THE FEARMONGERING.

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>> John: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

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TALKING ABOUT?

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YOU'RE ONLY THERE BECAUSE THE

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PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

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IS IN THE BUILDING BEHIND YOU

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WITH A PRETTY BAD CASE OF

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FEARMONGERING.

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AND AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO SHOUT

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AT THAT GUY, YOU HAVE TO

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REMEMBER THAT THIS

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ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN

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DOWNPLAYING THE VIRUS SO MUCH

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AND FOR SO LONG, THAT FOR

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TRUMP'S DIE-HARD SUPPORTERS, ANY

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SORT OF CONCERN ISN'T SEEN AS

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A SENSIBLE PRECAUTION, IT'S SEEN

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AS FEARMONGERING.

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BUT FEAR IS NOT A BAD THING.

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IT'S WHAT STOPS YOU FROM

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CHOPPING YOUR HAND OFF WITH

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A MEAT CLEAVER, OR PETTING

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AN ANGRY DOG, OR CROSSING

262
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A BUSY STREET WITHOUT LOOKING.

263
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:00,980
AND THIS WEEK, MORE THAN EVER,

264
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,980
PROVES THAT IN THE MIDST OF

265
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:04,980
A PANDEMIC, WHEN YOU ACT WITHOUT

266
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,980
CAUTION, YOU CANNOT EXPECT

267
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:08,980
THE VIRUS TO SIMPLY "STAND BACK

268
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:09,980
AND STAND BY."

269
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:10,980
AND NOW THIS.

270
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♪ ♪

271
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:16,000
>> Announcer: AND NOW...

272
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:16,960
NEWSCASTERS TRYING TO HAVE FUN

273
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:17,980
WITH WHAT MONTH IT IS.

274
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,980
>> IT IS THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1ST.

275
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:25,000
BIG DAY.

276
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:25,020
>> HAPPY OCTOBER.

277
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:27,980
>> I KNOW, RIGHT?

278
00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:29,000
>> WE MADE IT TO SPOOKY SEASON.

279
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:29,960
>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE.

280
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000
SPOOKY SEASON IS HERE.

281
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:31,020
>> WELL, GUYS, NOW THAT IS

282
00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:31,980
OFFICIALLY OCTOBER, WE HAVE

283
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,000
SPOOKY SEASON RIGHT AROUND

284
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,020
THE CORNER.

285
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,580
>> I WATCHED "HOCUS-POCUS"

286
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:35,020
LAST NIGHT.

287
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:35,980
I AM ALL IN.

288
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,520
>> IT'S OFFICIALLY SPOOKY

289
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,980
SEASON, SO WHY NOT GO TO HELL?

290
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:40,980
HELL, MICHIGAN.

291
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,980
>> IT'S OCTOBER, MARKS THE

292
00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:44,980
BEGINNING OF SPOOKY SEASON.

293
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:45,980
>> WE ARE ENTERING SPOOKY

294
00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:46,980
SEASON.

295
00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:48,980
>> FOR MANY, THE BEGINNING

296
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:52,980
OF OCTOBER IS ALSO THE SIGN OF

297
00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:54,980
SPOOKY SEASON.

298
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:55,980
>> ALTHOUGH, THE PANDEMIC IS

299
00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:56,980
CHANGING THE WAY WE DO HALLOWEEN

300
00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:57,980
AND VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING.

301
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,980
♪ ♪

302
00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:02,980
>> John: MOVING ON.

303
00:08:03,020 --> 00:08:04,980
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS

304
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:05,980
THE 2020 ELECTION -- AMONG OTHER

305
00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:06,980
THINGS, THE INSPIRATION FOR THE

306
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,980
SINGLE BEST VOTING PSA THE WORLD

307
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,000
HAS EVER SEEN.

308
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:11,020
>> DO YOU KNOW WHO ELECTS

309
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,980
THE D.A.?

310
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,000
WE DO.

311
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,960
BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO VOTE.

312
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:17,020
CAN'T MAKE IT RAIN IF YOU'RE

313
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:18,640
LOCKED UP ON SOME BULLSHIT.

314
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:19,980
>> WANT TO END CASH BAIL?

315
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:20,980
>> WELL, THEN, VOTE FOR THE

316
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:21,980
SHERIFFS AND COUNTY OFFICIALS

317
00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:22,980
THAT FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO.

318
00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:23,980
>> BUT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, "OH,

319
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:24,980
THEY GONNA PICK WHO THEY GONNA

320
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,980
PICK, SHORTY."

321
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:28,000
>> FERGUSON JUST ELECTED THEIR

322
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:28,020
FIRST BLACK MAYOR.

323
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:31,980
>> YOU KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED?

324
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:33,980
FOR INFORMATION ON HOW AND WHERE

325
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:34,980
TO VOTE, AS WELL AS RESOURCES TO

326
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:35,980
FIND OUT WHO'S RUNNING WHERE YOU

327
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,980
LIVE, GO TO

328
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:38,980
GetYourBootyToThePoll.com

329
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,980
♪ GET YOUR BOOTY TO THE POLLS ♪

330
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,980
♪ GET YOUR BOOTY TO THE POLLS ♪

331
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:43,980
>> John: EXCELLENT.

332
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,940
THEY HIT PROSECUTORS, CASH BAIL,

333
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:46,980
SHERIFFS, AND THE IMPORTANCE OF

334
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:47,980
DOWN BALLOT RACES -- ALL

335
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,980
SUBJECTS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT

336
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:50,980
BEFORE -- BUT DID IT IN

337
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:51,980
LESS TIME AND MORE

338
00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:53,980
ENTERTAININGLY, WHILE ALSO

339
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:54,980
PROVIDING A MUCH BETTER

340
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:55,980
"GET OUT THE VOTE" MESSAGE

341
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:56,980
THAN ANYONE CURRENTLY WORKING

342
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,980
FOR JOE BIDEN.

343
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,980
I HAVE NO NOTES.

344
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:02,980
AND EVEN THOUGH TRUMP IS

345
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:03,980
CURRENTLY IN THE HOSPITAL WITH

346
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,980
CORONAVIRUS, AND EVERYTHING'S UP

347
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:09,980
IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW -- WE'RE

348
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:10,980
TAPING THIS ON SATURDAY, SO WHO

349
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:11,980
KNOWS WHAT THINGS ARE LIKE

350
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:12,980
WHENEVER YOU'RE WATCHING THIS --

351
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:13,980
WE DO NEED TO TALK ABOUT

352
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:14,980
THIS ELECTION, BECAUSE IT'S

353
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,980
HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

354
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:17,980
MORE THAN THREE MILLION VOTES

355
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:18,980
HAVE ALREADY BEEN CAST.

356
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:19,980
AND YET, TRUMP AND HIS

357
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:21,980
SUPPORTERS HAVE ENGAGED

358
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:22,980
IN A DELIBERATE CAMPAIGN

359
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:23,980
TO UNDERMINE THE PROCESS.

360
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,980
FOR MONTHS NOW, TRUMP HAS

361
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:26,980
BEEN QUESTIONING WHETHER HE WILL

362
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:27,980
EVEN LEAVE.

363
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:30,000
>> IN GENERAL, NOT TALKING ABOUT

364
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,980
NOVEMBER, ARE YOU A GOOD LOSER?

365
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:34,980
>> I'M NOT A GOOD LOSER.

366
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:35,980
I DON'T LIKE TO LOSE.

367
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:36,980
I DON'T LOSE TOO OFTEN.

368
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:37,980
I DON'T LIKE TO LOSE.

369
00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:39,980
>> BUT ARE YOU GRACIOUS?

370
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:40,980
>> YOU DON'T KNOW UNTIL YOU SEE.

371
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,980
IT DEPENDS.

372
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:43,980
I THINK MAIL-IN VOTING IS -- IS

373
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:44,980
GOING TO RIG THE ELECTION.

374
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:45,980
I REALLY DO.

375
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,980
>> ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT YOU

376
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:48,980
MIGHT NOT ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF

377
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:49,980
THE ELECTION?

378
00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:50,980
>> YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO SEE.

379
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:51,980
>> John: YEAH, HE HAS TO SEE.

380
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:52,980
AND BY THAT, OF COURSE, HE MEANS

381
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:54,980
HE HAS TO SEE IF HE WINS.

382
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:55,980
BECAUSE IF HE DOESN'T, HE'LL

383
00:09:56,020 --> 00:09:57,980
REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE RESULTS.

384
00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:58,980
DEEP DOWN, YOU KNOW THERE IS

385
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,980
NO SCENARIO IN WHICH TRUMP

386
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,820
LOSES, BUT DECIDES THE PROCESS

387
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,980
WAS LEGIT, AND THEN SHOWS UP

388
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:04,980
TO BIDEN'S HOUSE WITH

389
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,980
A CONGRATULATORY ICE CREAM CAKE.

390
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:10,000
THAT IS JUST NOT GOING

391
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,020
TO HAPPEN.

392
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,980
AND LOOK, GIVEN THE FREQUENCY

393
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:12,980
WITH WHICH ONE PARTY TRIED TO

394
00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:14,980
DESTABILIZE THIS ELECTION, WE

395
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:15,980
THOUGHT TONIGHT, IT MIGHT BE A

396
00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:16,980
GOOD IDEA TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE

397
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,820
WAYS THEY'VE TRIED TO DO THAT,

398
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:19,980
AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY,

399
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:20,980
HOW WE CAN HELP PREVENT THAT

400
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,980
FROM HAPPENING.

401
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:23,980
AND FIRST, LET'S ACKNOWLEDGE

402
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:24,980
THERE IS NOTHING NEW IN

403
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,340
REPUBLICANS ATTEMPTING

404
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:27,980
TO DEPRESS TURNOUT.

405
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:28,980
THEY'VE DONE IT FOR YEARS,

406
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:30,980
SOMETIMES WITH A VENEER OF

407
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:32,980
"FIGHTING VOTER FRAUD," AND

408
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:33,980
TACTICS LIKE STRICT VOTER I.D.

409
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,980
LAWS AND PURGING VOTER ROLLS.

410
00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:36,980
BUT SOMETIMES, THEY'VE JUST SAID

411
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,980
IT OUT LOUD.

412
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:39,980
>> I DON'T WANT EVERYBODY

413
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:40,980
TO VOTE.

414
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,980
ELECTIONS ARE NOT WON BY

415
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:43,980
A MAJORITY OF PEOPLE, THEY NEVER

416
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:44,980
HAVE BEEN FROM THE BEGINNING OF

417
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:45,980
OUR COUNTRY, AND THEY ARE NOT

418
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:46,980
NOW.

419
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,000
AS A MATTER OF FACT, OUR

420
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:49,020
LEVERAGE IN THE ELECTIONS,

421
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:49,980
QUITE CANDIDLY, GOES UP AS

422
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,980
THE VOTING POPULACE GOES DOWN.

423
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,980
>> John: NOW THAT MAN IS

424
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:57,580
PAUL WEYRICH -- A FOUNDING

425
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:58,980
FATHER OF MODERN CONSERVATISM,

426
00:10:59,020 --> 00:10:59,980
AND THE COFOUNDER OF

427
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:01,000
RIGHT-WING GROUPS LIKE

428
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:01,960
THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION AND

429
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,980
THE MORAL MAJORITY.

430
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:04,980
ALTHOUGH, I'M NOT SURE YOU CAN

431
00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:05,980
REALLY KEEP CALLING IT A

432
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:06,980
"MORAL MAJORITY," WHEN

433
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:08,980
THE PHILOSOPHY OF ONE OF YOUR

434
00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:09,980
FOUNDERS IS "IMMORALLY SUPPRESS

435
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,980
THE MAJORITY OF VOTERS."

436
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:13,980
BUT THE FACT IS THAT THIS YEAR,

437
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,980
THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS

438
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:16,980
TURBOCHARGING EFFORTS TO MESS

439
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,980
WITH THE VOTE.

440
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:19,980
FOR A START, THE PRESIDENT HAS

441
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:20,980
REPEATEDLY INSTRUCTED HIS

442
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:21,980
SUPPORTERS TO GO TO POLLING

443
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:22,980
PLACES AND MONITOR FOR INCIDENTS

444
00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:23,980
OF FRAUD.

445
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,980
>> WATCH THOSE BALLOTS.

446
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:27,980
I DON'T LIKE IT.

447
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,980
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A DEMOCRAT

448
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:30,980
GOVERNOR, YOU HAVE ALL THESE

449
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:31,980
DEMOCRATS WATCHING THAT STUFF.

450
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,000
BE POLL WATCHERS WHEN YOU GO

451
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,020
THERE.

452
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,980
WATCH ALL THE THIEVING AND

453
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:37,980
STEALING AND ROBBING THEY DO.

454
00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:39,980
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.

455
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:41,980
BECAUSE HE'S NOT DESCRIBING

456
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,980
OFFICIAL POLL WATCHERS THERE,

457
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,000
PEOPLE WHOSE ROLE IS TO MONITOR

458
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:45,960
ELECTIONS SO EVERYONE IS TREATED

459
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,020
FAIRLY.

460
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:47,980
HE'S ESSENTIALLY GIVING

461
00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:49,980
HIS SUPPORTERS THE GREEN LIGHT

462
00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:50,980
TO WALK INTO POLLING PLACES AND

463
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:51,980
START PLAYING FUCKING BALLOT

464
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:52,980
BATMAN.

465
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:53,980
AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVEN'T

466
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:54,980
HAD PROBLEMS WITH AGGRESSIVE

467
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,980
POLL-WATCHING IN THE PAST.

468
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,980
IN 1981, THE YEAR AFTER WEYRICH

469
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,980
SPOKE, THE RNC FORMED A FAKE

470
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,980
NATIONAL BALLOT SECURITY TASK

471
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:05,980
FORCE AND HIRED ARMED OFF-DUTY

472
00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:06,980
POLICEMEN TO PATROL LARGELY

473
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:07,980
BLACK AND HISPANIC PRECINCTS

474
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,980
IN NEW JERSEY, WHERE THEY

475
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:10,980
PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED REVOLVERS

476
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:11,980
AND ARMBANDS WITH

477
00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,980
THE TASK FORCE'S NAME.

478
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,980
AND JUST, AS A GENERAL RULE,

479
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:16,980
REVOLVERS AND ARMBANDS AT

480
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,980
A POLLING SITE IS NEVER

481
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,980
A GREAT LOOK, CONSIDERING THAT

482
00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:21,980
THE LITERAL DEFINITION OF AN

483
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:23,980
ACTUAL NAZI IS SOMEONE WITH GUNS

484
00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:24,980
AND ARMBANDS WHO THREATENS

485
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,980
THE SAFETY OF THE POLLS.

486
00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:29,980
THAT INCIDENT CAUSED SUCH

487
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:30,980
AN OUTCRY, THE DEMOCRATS SUED,

488
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:31,980
AND THE RNC ENTERED INTO A

489
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,980
CONSENT DECREE PLEDGING TO

490
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:34,980
STOP SUCH BEHAVIOR IN THE

491
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:35,980
FUTURE, WHICH IS GREAT.

492
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:36,980
UNFORTUNATELY, A JUDGE LIFTED

493
00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:40,980
THAT CONSENT DECREE IN 2018.

494
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:43,000
BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING

495
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:43,960
REPUBLICANS HAVE DONE OVER

496
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:44,980
THE LAST FEW YEARS,

497
00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:46,980
IT'S REGAIN A NATION'S TRUST.

498
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:48,980
AND THE THING IS, EVEN IF TRUMP

499
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,980
SUPPORTERS DON'T SHOW UP TO

500
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:51,980
HARASS VOTERS, THERE ARE PLENTY

501
00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:52,980
OF OTHER REASONS IN-PERSON

502
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:53,980
VOTING COULD BE TRICKY THIS

503
00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:54,980
YEAR.

504
00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:56,980
THANKS TO THE PANDEMIC, MANY

505
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:57,980
POLL WORKERS ARE CHOOSING TO

506
00:12:58,020 --> 00:12:59,980
STAY AT HOME, AND MANY POLLING

507
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,980
SITES MAY BE CLOSED.

508
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:02,980
WHICH COULD CAUSE REAL PROBLEMS,

509
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,980
ESPECIALLY FOR LATINO AND BLACK

510
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,980
VOTERS, WHO ALREADY FACE

511
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:07,980
SUBSTANTIALLY LONGER WAIT TIMES

512
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:10,000
THAN WHITE VOTERS.

513
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:11,980
WE'VE ALREADY SEEN THE IMPACT

514
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:12,980
OF FEWER POLLING PLACES IN THIS

515
00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:13,980
YEAR'S PRIMARIES, BECAUSE WATCH

516
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,980
THIS GEORGIA VOTER SHOW YOU HOW

517
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:19,980
LONG HIS LINE WAS.

518
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,980
>> SEVEN HOURS, 45 MINUTES, AND

519
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:25,980
13 SECONDS, IT TOOK FOR ME TO

520
00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:28,980
VOTE IN FULTON COUNTY, GEORGIA.

521
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,980
AS SOON AS I SAW THE LINE,

522
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,980
I HIT THE STOPWATCH ON MY PHONE.

523
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:36,980
I SPENT THE FIRST COUPLE HOURS

524
00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:37,980
LISTENING TO THE NEW

525
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:38,980
RUN THE JEWELS ALBUM.

526
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:39,980
AND THEN I ENDED UP LISTENING

527
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,980
TO THE ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY.

528
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:43,980
AND THEN I STARTED WATCHING

529
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:44,980
SEASON 8 OF

530
00:13:45,020 --> 00:13:48,980
"CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM."

531
00:13:49,020 --> 00:13:50,100
THAT'S FIVE HOURS.

532
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:51,020
IT WAS 1:00 IN THE MORNING AND

533
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:52,980
SOMEBODY WAS LIKE, "HEY, Y'ALL

534
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:53,980
REMEMBER WE CAME TO VOTE

535
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:55,100
YESTERDAY, RIGHT?"

536
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:56,980
>> John: HOLY SHIT.

537
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,980
CAN YOU IMAGINE WATCHING

538
00:13:59,020 --> 00:13:59,980
FIVE HOURS OF STREAMING VIDEO

539
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:00,980
ON YOUR PHONE WHILE STANDING

540
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:01,980
IN LINE TO VOTE?

541
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,980
YOU CAN'T?

542
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:04,980
WHAT IF EACH VIDEO WAS LESS THAN

543
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:05,980
TEN MINUTES AT A TIME, WITH

544
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:06,980
COMMERCIALS?

545
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:07,980
STILL NO?

546
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:08,980
HOW ABOUT IF YOU COULD WATCH

547
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:09,980
THE SHOW VERTICALLY OR

548
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:10,980
HORIZONTALLY?

549
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:11,980
NO AGAIN?

550
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:12,980
OKAY, SORRY, QUIBI, I GUESS IT'S

551
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:17,980
OFFICIAL: YOU'RE A BAD IDEA.

552
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,980
>> BAD IDEA!

553
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:23,000
>> John: I HATE TO BREAK THIS TO

554
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:23,020
YOU $2 BILLION IN.

555
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:23,980
YOU KNOW WHAT -- WHO KNOWS?

556
00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:24,980
MAYBE ONE OF YOUR SHOWS WILL

557
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,000
BE A HIT, LIKE THE ONE ABOUT

558
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,960
FLIPPING HOUSES WHERE GRISLY

559
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:27,020
MURDERS TOOK PLACE.

560
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:27,980
REALLY?

561
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:28,980
AW, COME ON.

562
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:29,980
STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.

563
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:34,000
AFTER ALL, HBO MAX STILL EXISTS,

564
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,000
AND THEY CHARGE $14.9 --

565
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:38,020
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

566
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:41,980
YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT.

567
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:42,980
I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.

568
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:43,980
AND WHEN YOU TAKE ALL THIS

569
00:14:44,020 --> 00:14:44,980
TOGETHER -- THE LONG LINES,

570
00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:45,980
THE POSSIBILITY OF HARASSMENT,

571
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:46,980
AND THE LOOMING THREAT OF

572
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:47,980
THE PANDEMIC -- IT'S NO WONDER

573
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:48,980
THAT AROUND 40% OF AMERICANS SAY

574
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:49,980
THEY'LL BE VOTING BY MAIL THIS

575
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:50,980
YEAR.

576
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:51,980
BUT THAT HAS ACTUALLY OPENED UP

577
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,980
A WHOLE NEW FRONT IN

578
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:54,980
REPUBLICANS' WAR ON

579
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:55,980
DEMOCRATIC VOTES.

580
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:56,980
AND TO UNDERSTAND WHY, IT HELPS

581
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:57,980
TO UNDERSTAND ONE KEY STATISTIC:

582
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,980
THE MAJORITY OF TRUMP SUPPORTERS

583
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,980
SAY THEY'LL VOTE IN PERSON ON

584
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:02,980
ELECTION DAY, WHILE THE MAJORITY

585
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,980
OF BIDEN SUPPORTERS SAY THEY'LL

586
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,980
VOTE BY MAIL.

587
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:08,980
SO IT'S CLEARLY VERY MUCH IN

588
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:10,980
TRUMP'S INTEREST TO TRY AND

589
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:11,980
DISCREDIT VOTING BY MAIL,

590
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:13,980
CLAIMING IT'S RIFE WITH FRAUD,

591
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:14,980
DESPITE THE FACT -- AS STUDIES

592
00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:16,980
AND COURT CASES HAVE REPEATEDLY

593
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,980
SHOWN -- IT ISN'T.

594
00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:20,980
AND IT'S NOT JUST TRUMP CLAIMING

595
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:21,980
THEY'RE ILLEGITIMATE, EVEN

596
00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:23,940
BILL BARR, HIS ATTORNEY GENERAL,

597
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,000
HAS JOINED IN, SAYING SHIT LIKE

598
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:31,980
THIS.

599
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,980
>> WHEN -- WHEN GOVERNMENT

600
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,980
GOVERNMENTS START ADOPTING THESE

601
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:36,980
PRACTICES LIKE MAIL-IN BALLOTS

602
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,980
THAT OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF

603
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:39,980
POTENTIAL FRAUD, THEN PEOPLE'S

604
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:40,980
CONFIDENCE IN THE OUTCOME OF THE

605
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,980
ELECTION IS GONNA BE UNDERMINED.

606
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,980
AND THAT COULD TAKE THE COUNTRY

607
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:45,980
TO A VERY DARK PLACE IF WE LOSE

608
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,980
CONFIDENCE IN THE OUTCOMES OF

609
00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:48,980
OUR ELECTIONS.

610
00:15:49,020 --> 00:15:49,980
>> John: YEAH, BUT YOU'RE

611
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:50,980
THE ONE UNDERMINING

612
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:51,980
OUR CONFIDENCE!

613
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,980
YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT THERE!

614
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:54,980
AND AS FOR THE NOTION THAT

615
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,980
"THIS COULD TAKE THE COUNTRY

616
00:15:57,020 --> 00:15:57,980
TO A DARK PLACE?"

617
00:15:58,020 --> 00:15:59,980
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED,

618
00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:00,980
BUT EVERYTHING WITHIN DRIVING

619
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:01,980
DISTANCE OF DISNEYLAND IS

620
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:02,980
COVERED IN SMOKE, THERE'S

621
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,980
A GLOBAL PANDEMIC THAT JUST

622
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:05,980
INFECTED THE PRESIDENT, AND

623
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:06,980
YOU'RE ON TELEVISION IN STUPID

624
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:08,980
WOODY ALLEN GLASSES CALLING

625
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:09,980
THE LEGITIMACY OF OUR DEMOCRACY

626
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,000
INTO QUESTION.

627
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:13,980
WE'RE IN THAT VERY DARK PLACE

628
00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:15,980
ALREADY, BILLIAM.

629
00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:16,980
TRUMP HIMSELF HAS GONE OUT OF

630
00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:18,980
HIS WAY TO CLAIM THAT ALL MANNER

631
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:19,980
OF BALLOT FRAUD IS ALREADY

632
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:20,980
TAKING PLACE.

633
00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:22,980
HE EVEN RATTLED OFF EXAMPLES

634
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:23,980
DURING TUESDAY'S DEBATE.

635
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:24,980
>> THEY'RE SENDING MILLIONS OF

636
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:26,980
BALLOTS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.

637
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:27,980
THERE'S FRAUD.

638
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,980
THEY FOUND THEM IN CREEKS.

639
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:31,980
THEY FOUND SOME, JUST HAPPENED

640
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:32,980
TO HAVE THE NAME "TRUMP" JUST

641
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,000
THE OTHER DAY IN A WASTEPAPER

642
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:35,020
BASKET.

643
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:35,980
THEY'RE BEING SENT ALL OVER

644
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:36,980
THE PLACE.

645
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:39,000
THEY SENT TWO IN A DEMOCRAT

646
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:39,020
AREA.

647
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:39,980
THEY SENT OUT A THOUSAND

648
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:40,980
BALLOTS.

649
00:16:41,020 --> 00:16:42,980
EVERYBODY GOT TWO BALLOTS.

650
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:43,980
THIS IS GOING TO BE A FRAUD LIKE

651
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,980
YOU'VE NEVER SEEN.

652
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,580
>> John: OKAY, I KNOW THAT

653
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,980
SOUNDS LIKE A LOT, BUT -- AS

654
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:49,980
YOU'VE PROBABLY GUESSED -- THAT

655
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:51,980
WAS A 12-COURSE TASTING MENU

656
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:52,980
OF HORSESHIT.

657
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:53,980
BECAUSE HE IS WILDLY

658
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,700
MISREPRESENTING EVERY SINGLE

659
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,980
ONE OF THOSE CASES.

660
00:16:58,020 --> 00:16:58,980
FIRST, ON THE BALLOTS IN THE

661
00:16:59,020 --> 00:16:59,980
CREEK EXAMPLE, HE SEEMS TO

662
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,980
BE REFERRING TO REPORTS OF

663
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:02,980
A FEW ABSENTEE BALLOTS

664
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:03,980
IN WISCONSIN BEING FOUND

665
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:04,980
IN TRAYS OF MAIL THAT WERE FOUND

666
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,980
IN A DITCH.

667
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:07,980
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW, THE TRAYS

668
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,980
WERE FULL OF ALL SORTS OF MAIL,

669
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:11,980
AND STATE ELECTION OFFICIALS

670
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:12,980
LATER CLARIFIED THEY ACTUALLY

671
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,820
"DID NOT INCLUDE ANY WISCONSIN

672
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,980
BALLOTS" WHATSOEVER.

673
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,980
AS FOR THE WASTEPAPER BASKET

674
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,980
EXAMPLE, THAT WAS AN INCIDENT

675
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:21,980
WHERE A TEMP WORKER, WHO'D ONLY

676
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:22,980
WORKED AT THE COUNTY ELECTION

677
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:24,980
OFFICE FOR THREE DAYS,

678
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:25,980
MISTAKENLY DISCARDED NINE

679
00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:27,980
BALLOTS, AND WHEN HIS BOSSES

680
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:28,980
REALIZED WHAT HE'D DONE,

681
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:30,980
THEY IMMEDIATELY REPORTED IT

682
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:31,980
TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AT THE LOCAL,

683
00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:33,980
STATE, AND FEDERAL LEVEL.

684
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,980
AND JUST SPARE A QUICK THOUGHT

685
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:37,980
FOR THAT TEMP.

686
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:38,980
IMAGINE IF SOME STUPID MISTAKE

687
00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:40,980
YOU MADE AT WORK ENDED UP BEING

688
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:41,980
HELD UP AS EVIDENCE OF

689
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:42,980
A LEFT-WING CONSPIRACY AGAINST

690
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,980
THE PRESIDENT.

691
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:47,980
IMAGINE BUYING THE WRONG K-CUPS

692
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:48,980
FOR THE BREAK-ROOM AND NEXT

693
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:51,980
THING YOU KNOW, TUCKER CARLSON

694
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:54,000
IS ON TV SCREAMING ABOUT HOW

695
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:54,020
THE RADICAL LEFT IS

696
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,980
DECAFFEINATING THE SUBURBS.

697
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:56,980
AND FINALLY, AS FOR THOSE

698
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:57,980
THOUSAND EXTRA BALLOTS HE

699
00:17:58,020 --> 00:17:59,880
MENTIONED -- THAT WAS A FUCK UP

700
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,980
WHERE SOME VOTERS IN

701
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:01,980
FAIRFAX COUNTY, VIRGINIA,

702
00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:02,980
WERE SENT TWO MAIL-IN BALLOTS

703
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,980
BY MISTAKE.

704
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,980
WHICH SOUNDS BAD, BUT THE KEY

705
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,980
THING TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT

706
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:10,980
BECAUSE BALLOTS ARE MATCHED TO

707
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,760
INDIVIDUAL VOTERS, THE SYSTEM

708
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,980
IS DESIGNED TO PREVENT PEOPLE

709
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,980
VOTING TWICE.

710
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,980
YOU MAY HAVE TWO BALLOTS,

711
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:18,980
BUT YOU CAN ONLY CAST ONE.

712
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:21,980
AND LOOK, MISTAKES ARE GOING TO

713
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:22,980
HAPPEN IN AN ELECTION WITH OVER

714
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:23,980
100 MILLION BALLOTS.

715
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,980
THEY SHOULDN'T, BUT THEY WILL.

716
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,980
AND WHEN THEY DO, WE SHOULD MOVE

717
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,980
FAST TO CORRECT THEM.

718
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,980
BUT NONE OF THOSE EXAMPLES TRUMP

719
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:33,980
CITED, ALL OF WHICH HAVE LIT UP

720
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:34,980
RIGHT-WING MEDIA, APPEAR TO

721
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:35,980
BE PART OF ANY SCHEME

722
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:36,980
TO STEAL VOTES.

723
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:40,980
AND IF THEY ARE, THE SCHEME

724
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:41,980
SEEMS TO BE HORRIBLY

725
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:42,980
COORDINATED,

726
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:43,980
TOTALLY NONSENSICAL, AND

727
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:44,980
EXTREMELY DUMB.

728
00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:46,980
SO THE FACT IS THAT FEARS OVER

729
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:47,980
MAIL-IN BALLOT FRAUD HAVE BEEN

730
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:48,980
WILDLY OVERBLOWN.

731
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:50,980
AND TO THE EXTENT THERE IS ANY

732
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:52,980
DANGER WITH THEM, IT'S ACTUALLY

733
00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:56,980
A FAR MORE MUNDANE ONE, AND

734
00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:59,000
THAT'S THAT YOU COULD END UP

735
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,020
HAVING YOUR BALLOT REJECTED FOR

736
00:18:59,020 --> 00:18:59,980
TECHNICAL REASONS.

737
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,980
>> IN THE 2020 PRIMARIES,

738
00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:03,980
MORE THAN 550,000 BALLOTS

739
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:05,980
WERE REJECTED IN 30 STATES

740
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:06,980
DUE TO MISSING SIGNATURES,

741
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,880
MISSED DEADLINES, OR SIGNATURES

742
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:09,980
THAT COULD NOT BE VERIFIED.

743
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:11,980
>> John: THINK ABOUT THAT --

744
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,640
OVER HALF A MILLION BALLOTS

745
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:14,980
WERE REJECTED IN THE PRIMARIES!

746
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:15,980
THAT'S PRACTICALLY AN ENTIRE

747
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:16,980
WYOMING DISAPPEARING

748
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:20,980
INTO THIN AIR.

749
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:21,980
THAT IS REALLY BAD, UNLESS IT'S

750
00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:23,980
THE ACTUAL WYOMING DISAPPEARING,

751
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:24,980
IN WHICH CASE, IT MIGHT BE FOR

752
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:25,980
THE BEST.

753
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:26,980
IT'S A SEMI-ARID SANDBOX FILLED

754
00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,980
WITH FLUFFY COWS AND NOTHING.

755
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:30,980
THE MOST FAMOUS PART OF WYOMING

756
00:19:31,020 --> 00:19:31,980
IS THE STATE TRYING TO SWALLOW

757
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:33,980
ITSELF UP, AND THE SECOND MOST

758
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:34,980
FAMOUS PART IS IT SPITTING

759
00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:35,980
ITSELF OUT AGAIN.

760
00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:37,980
IT'S CLEAR THAT EVEN YOU DON'T

761
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:38,980
LIKE YOU, WYOMING, AND IT'S

762
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:39,980
GETTING HARD FOR THE REST OF US

763
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:40,980
TO WATCH.

764
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:42,980
AND TO BE FAIR TO VOTERS,

765
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,340
BALLOTS CAN BE TRICKY.

766
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:45,980
SOME STATES HAVE SECRECY

767
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,980
ENVELOPES, WHICH YOU DON'T SIGN,

768
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:48,980
WHICH YOU THEN HAVE TO PUT

769
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:49,980
INSIDE A DECLARATION ENVELOPE,

770
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,980
WHICH YOU DO.

771
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,000
IT CAN BE CONFUSING, SO MAKE

772
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:55,960
SURE YOU READ THE INSTRUCTIONS

773
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:56,980
CAREFULLY.

774
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:57,980
AND IT'S ALSO SURPRISINGLY

775
00:19:58,020 --> 00:19:58,980
IMPORTANT TO THINK ABOUT

776
00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:00,980
THE SIGNATURE THAT YOU'RE USING.

777
00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:02,980
BECAUSE THEY MATCH THEM AGAINST

778
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:03,980
THE ONE THEY HAVE ON RECORD FOR

779
00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:04,980
YOU, EITHER FROM WHEN YOU

780
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,980
REGISTERED TO VOTE, OR THE ONE

781
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:07,980
YOU HAVE ON FILE AT THE DMV.

782
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:09,980
AND REPLICATING YOUR OWN

783
00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:11,980
SIGNATURE CAN BE MORE DIFFICULT

784
00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:12,980
THAN YOU MIGHT EXPECT, AS THIS

785
00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:14,980
HANDWRITING EXPERT EXPLAINS.

786
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,980
>> ORSINI SAYS NO TWO SIGNATURES

787
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:17,980
ARE IDENTICAL AND VARY OVER

788
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,980
TIME.

789
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:20,980
>> HAND SIZE AND AGE AND

790
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,980
ILLNESS, MEDICATION.

791
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:23,980
THE WRITING POSITION

792
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:24,980
THEY WERE IN.

793
00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:25,980
WERE THEY DEPRESSED?

794
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,980
ALL OF THOSE KIND OF FACTORS

795
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:28,980
COME INTO PLAY.

796
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,980
>> LOOK AT THESE ACTUAL

797
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:31,980
SIGNATURES FROM FORMER PRESIDENT

798
00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:32,980
RICHARD NIXON OVER A SIX-YEAR

799
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,980
PERIOD.

800
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,980
>> IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THE

801
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:37,980
SAME PERSON.

802
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,000
>> EXACTLY.

803
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,020
BUT YET IT IS.

804
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:39,980
IT'S THE SAME SIGNATURE.

805
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:40,980
>> John: YEAH, THE TRUTH IS,

806
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:41,980
OUR SIGNATURES CHANGE OVER TIME.

807
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,980
AND SOMETIMES, OVER THE COURSE

808
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:45,980
OF A SINGLE DAY, BECAUSE LET'S

809
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:47,980
BE HONEST, WE ALL HAVE AT LEAST

810
00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:49,980
TWO SIGNATURES -- THE REAL ONE,

811
00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:50,980
AND YOUR COFFEE SHOP SIGNATURE,

812
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:52,980
WHICH IS USUALLY JUST A LINE

813
00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:53,980
AND, DEPENDING ON YOUR MOOD,

814
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,980
A COUPLE OF LOOP-DE-LOOPS.

815
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,000
LOOK, YOU'RE GETTING A MUFFIN,

816
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:58,020
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,

817
00:20:58,020 --> 00:20:58,980
CALLIGRAPH THE iPAD?

818
00:20:59,020 --> 00:20:59,980
OF COURSE NOT.

819
00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:00,980
IT'S YOUR POINTER FINGER,

820
00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:01,980
IT'S NOT YOUR ART FINGER.

821
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:03,980
IT'S FOR POINTING.

822
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:04,980
AND IN THEORY, SOME STATES

823
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:05,980
ARE SUPPOSED TO LET YOU KNOW

824
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:06,980
IF YOUR BALLOT WAS DISQUALIFIED,

825
00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:07,980
BUT IN PRACTICE,

826
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,980
THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN.

827
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:10,980
JUST WATCH ONE CALIFORNIA MAN

828
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:11,980
LEARN IT HAPPENED TO HIM

829
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,980
IN 2018.

830
00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:15,980
>> TATTOO ARTIST JOHNNY TREVINO

831
00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,980
LOVES TO CREATE.

832
00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:18,980
>> GOOD TO GO.

833
00:21:19,020 --> 00:21:19,980
>> DRAWING ON HUMAN SKIN.

834
00:21:20,020 --> 00:21:20,980
>> LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH IT IS,

835
00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:21,980
TOO.

836
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:22,980
>> THAT'S WHY TREVINO SAYS IT

837
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:24,980
CAME AS A SHOCK WHEN WE SHOWED

838
00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:25,980
HIM THAT THE WAY HE DRAWS HIS

839
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:26,980
SIGNATURE ACTUALLY CAUSED HIS

840
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,000
BALLOT TO BE REJECTED DURING THE

841
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:30,980
LAST MAJOR ELECTION IN 2018.

842
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:31,980
>> THE REASON IS NO SIGNATURE

843
00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:34,980
MATCH.

844
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:35,980
I WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS.

845
00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:36,980
>> DOES THAT FRUSTRATE YOU?

846
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:37,980
>> YES.

847
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:40,980
BECAUSE I'M A TATTOO ARTIST AND

848
00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:41,980
SOMETIMES I WRITE IT BEAUTIFUL

849
00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:42,980
AND SOMETIMES I JUST SIGN IT

850
00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:43,980
QUICK.

851
00:21:44,020 --> 00:21:44,980
AND I BET YOU A LOT OF PEOPLE DO

852
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:45,980
THAT.

853
00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:46,980
>> John: OKAY, THAT IS

854
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:47,980
UNFORTUNATE TO FIND OUT.

855
00:21:48,020 --> 00:21:49,980
ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY,

856
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:50,980
"SOMETIMES I WRITE IT BEAUTIFUL

857
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:51,980
AND SOMETIMES I JUST SIGN IT

858
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:52,980
QUICK" IS ONE OF THE LAST THINGS

859
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:53,980
YOU WANT TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE

860
00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:55,980
GIVING YOU A TATTOO.

861
00:21:56,020 --> 00:21:56,980
IT'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH

862
00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:57,980
"YOU KNOW, I'M MORE OF

863
00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,980
A HANDS-FREE ARTIST."

864
00:22:00,020 --> 00:22:01,980
BUT LOOK, LET'S SAY THAT NONE OF

865
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:03,980
WHAT I'VE TALKED ABOUT SO FAR

866
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:04,980
TURNS OUT TO BE A PROBLEM.

867
00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:05,980
EVERYONE BEHAVES THEMSELVES AT

868
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,980
POLLING PLACES, THE LINES AREN'T

869
00:22:08,020 --> 00:22:09,980
TOO LONG, AND NOBODY FUCKS UP

870
00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:12,980
THEIR MAIL-IN BALLOT.

871
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:16,980
THERE IS STILL ONE MORE

872
00:22:17,020 --> 00:22:17,980
POTENTIAL WRINKLE IN THIS

873
00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:19,000
ELECTION, AND IT HAPPENS AFTER

874
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:19,020
YOU'VE VOTED.

875
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:20,000
BECAUSE MAIL-IN BALLOTS IN

876
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:20,020
PARTICULAR CAN TAKE A LONG TIME

877
00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:22,980
TO COUNT.

878
00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:23,980
WHICH DOES MAKE SENSE -- IT'S

879
00:22:24,020 --> 00:22:24,980
A LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE.

880
00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:26,980
>> BEFORE THE COUNT CAN BEGIN,

881
00:22:27,020 --> 00:22:27,980
A SERIES OF PROCEDURES NEED TO

882
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:28,980
BE FOLLOWED -- LIKE MAKING SURE

883
00:22:29,020 --> 00:22:29,980
THE VOTE COUNT FROM A PARTICULAR

884
00:22:30,020 --> 00:22:33,980
PRECINCT MATCHES UP WITH

885
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:34,980
THE ACTUAL NUMBER OF BALLOTS

886
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:35,980
RECEIVED.

887
00:22:36,020 --> 00:22:36,980
THE CITY OF GRAND RAPIDS HAS

888
00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:37,980
ISSUED SOME 35,000 ABSENTEE

889
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:38,980
BALLOTS.

890
00:22:39,020 --> 00:22:39,980
>> JUST THE SIMPLE PROCESS OF

891
00:22:40,020 --> 00:22:41,980
OPENING THAT MANY ENVELOPES,

892
00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:42,980
THAT TAKES A LONG TIME.

893
00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:46,000
>> John: YEAH, OF COURSE IT

894
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:46,020
DOES.

895
00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:48,980
35,000 IS A SHIT-TON OF

896
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:49,980
ENVELOPES, AND OPENING THEM IS

897
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:50,980
GOING TO TAKE A LONG FUCKING

898
00:22:51,020 --> 00:22:51,980
TIME.

899
00:22:52,020 --> 00:22:53,980
WHICH, BY THE WAY, SHOULD

900
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:54,980
PROBABLY BE THE OFFICIAL TAGLINE

901
00:22:55,020 --> 00:22:55,980
OF EVERY SINGLE AWARD SHOW:

902
00:22:56,020 --> 00:22:56,980
THE OSCARS!

903
00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:57,980
THERE ARE A SHIT TON OF

904
00:22:58,020 --> 00:22:58,980
ENVELOPES TO OPEN, SO IT'S GONNA

905
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,980
TAKE A LONG FUCKING TIME!

906
00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:01,980
SUNDAY, 8:00, 7:00 CENTRAL,

907
00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:02,980
ON ABC.

908
00:23:03,020 --> 00:23:05,000
AND MAKING IT WORSE, IN SOME

909
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,020
KEY BATTLEGROUND STATES, LIKE

910
00:23:06,020 --> 00:23:07,980
PENNSYLVANIA AND WISCONSIN,

911
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,640
THEY'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO

912
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:10,980
BEGIN PROCESSING MAIL-IN BALLOTS

913
00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:12,980
UNTIL ELECTION DAY ITSELF.

914
00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:13,980
WHICH BRINGS US TO SOMETHING

915
00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:16,980
VERY IMPORTANT.

916
00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:17,980
BECAUSE THERE IS A NATURAL

917
00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:18,980
VULNERABILITY HERE THAT

918
00:23:19,020 --> 00:23:19,980
THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN MAY BE ABLE

919
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:20,980
TO EXPLOIT IF WE'RE NOT

920
00:23:21,020 --> 00:23:21,980
EXTREMELY CAREFUL.

921
00:23:22,020 --> 00:23:23,980
REMEMBER, HE MAY RECEIVE

922
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,940
A LARGER PROPORTION OF IN-PERSON

923
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:26,980
VOTES, AND THOSE WILL GET

924
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:28,580
COUNTED FASTER, LEADING TO

925
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:29,980
A POTENTIAL PROBLEM.

926
00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:31,980
>> ELECTION EXPERTS SAY ONE

927
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:32,980
POSSIBLE ELECTION SCENARIO IS

928
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:34,980
WHAT IS KNOWN AS THE BLUE SHIFT.

929
00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:36,980
WITH TRUMP AHEAD ON ELECTION

930
00:23:37,020 --> 00:23:38,980
NIGHT AND BIDEN PULLING IN FRONT

931
00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:39,980
AFTER ELECTION NIGHT THROUGH

932
00:23:40,020 --> 00:23:42,000
MAIL-IN BALLOTS.

933
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,020
>> THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS

934
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:43,400
ELECTION NIGHT RESULTS.

935
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,980
THEY'RE ONLY PARTIAL RESULTS AND

936
00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:47,000
THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN PARTIAL

937
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:47,020
RESULTS.

938
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:48,980
>> John: EXACTLY.

939
00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:49,980
MANY VOTES ARE COUNTED AFTER

940
00:23:50,020 --> 00:23:51,980
ELECTION NIGHT.

941
00:23:52,020 --> 00:23:53,980
AND THIS YEAR, THE DISCREPANCY

942
00:23:54,020 --> 00:23:54,980
IN HOW PEOPLE VOTE COULD LEAD TO

943
00:23:55,020 --> 00:23:56,980
A SO-CALLED "BLUE SHIFT," WHICH

944
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:57,980
I KNOW SOUNDS LIKE A EUPHEMISM

945
00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,980
FOR A SMURF'S BOWEL MOVEMENT,

946
00:24:00,020 --> 00:24:00,980
BUT IT ACTUALLY REFERS TO

947
00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:02,980
THE IDEA THAT, SINCE MORE BIDEN

948
00:24:03,020 --> 00:24:03,980
SUPPORTERS ARE VOTING BY MAIL,

949
00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:05,980
DEMOCRATS COULD INITIALLY BE

950
00:24:06,020 --> 00:24:07,980
BEHIND, THEN PULL AHEAD ONCE ALL

951
00:24:08,020 --> 00:24:10,980
THE MAIL BALLOTS ARE COUNTED.

952
00:24:11,020 --> 00:24:12,980
THE CONCERN IS THAT, IN THAT

953
00:24:13,020 --> 00:24:13,980
EARLY STAGE, THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN

954
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:14,980
COULD DECLARE VICTORY, AND CLAIM

955
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:15,980
ANY ADDITIONAL BALLOTS ARE

956
00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:17,980
FRAUDULENT.

957
00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:18,980
HE HIMSELF HAS TWEETED THAT WE

958
00:24:19,020 --> 00:24:20,980
"MUST KNOW ELECTION RESULTS ON

959
00:24:21,020 --> 00:24:23,000
THE NIGHT OF THE ELECTION,

960
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:23,020
NOT DAYS, MONTHS, OR EVEN

961
00:24:23,020 --> 00:24:24,980
YEARS LATER."

962
00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:26,980
BUT HERE'S THE THING: WE DON'T

963
00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:27,980
NEED TO KNOW ON THE NIGHT, AT

964
00:24:28,020 --> 00:24:29,980
ALL.

965
00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:30,980
PROJECTING WINNERS ON ELECTION

966
00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:32,980
NIGHT CAN BE A BIT LIKE

967
00:24:33,020 --> 00:24:33,980
SUMMARIZING "GET OUT" WHEN

968
00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:34,980
YOU'VE ONLY SEEN THE BEGINNING:

969
00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:35,980
IT'S ABOUT A YOUNG MAN WHO MEETS

970
00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:36,980
HIS GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS FOR THE

971
00:24:37,020 --> 00:24:37,980
FIRST TIME, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY

972
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:38,980
NERVE-RACKING!

973
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,980
BUT LUCKILY, HER PARENTS SEEM

974
00:24:41,020 --> 00:24:42,980
LIKE A COUPLE OF REAL SWEETIES,

975
00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:44,980
SO EVERYTHING'S COOL!

976
00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:45,980
YEAH, THAT'S HOW IT STARTS, BUT

977
00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:46,980
MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TALKING

978
00:24:47,020 --> 00:24:48,980
UNTIL YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

979
00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:50,980
AND IN AN ELECTION WITH SO MANY

980
00:24:51,020 --> 00:24:52,980
MAIL-IN VOTES, IT MAY TAKE

981
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:54,980
SIGNIFICANTLY LONGER TO GET

982
00:24:55,020 --> 00:24:55,980
THE FINAL RESULTS THAN IT HAS IN

983
00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:57,980
THE PAST, AND THE SWING COULD BE

984
00:24:58,020 --> 00:25:01,980
EVEN MORE PRONOUNCED.

985
00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:02,980
THAT IS WHY ELECTION OFFICIALS

986
00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:03,980
ARE SO ANXIOUS TO RESET OUR

987
00:25:04,020 --> 00:25:04,980
EXPECTATIONS.

988
00:25:05,020 --> 00:25:05,980
>> THE EXPECTATION IS ELECTION

989
00:25:06,020 --> 00:25:07,980
NIGHT, LIKE MOST ELECTION

990
00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:08,980
NIGHTS, AROUND MIDNIGHT, 1:00,

991
00:25:09,020 --> 00:25:10,980
WE KNOW WHO THE PRESIDENT IS

992
00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:11,980
GOING TO BE.

993
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:13,880
AND IN 2020, THAT IS SIMPLY NOT

994
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:14,980
GOING TO BE THE CASE.

995
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,980
THE EXPECTATION SHOULD BE THAT

996
00:25:17,020 --> 00:25:17,980
WE WILL PROBABLY NOT KNOW THE

997
00:25:18,020 --> 00:25:18,980
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

998
00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:23,980
UNTIL MID TO LATE NOVEMBER.

999
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:24,980
>> John: YEAH, IF THIS ELECTION

1000
00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:25,980
IS CLOSE, WE MAY NOT KNOW

1001
00:25:26,020 --> 00:25:26,980
FOR A WHILE.

1002
00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:28,460
SO IT MIGHT HELP TO STOP

1003
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:29,020
THINKING OF IT AS

1004
00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:29,980
"ELECTION NIGHT" AND MORE AS AN

1005
00:25:30,020 --> 00:25:30,980
"ELECTION MONTH," WHICH IS A LOT

1006
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:31,980
LIKE WHEN SOMEONE SAYS IT'S

1007
00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:33,980
THEIR "BIRTHDAY MONTH" IN THAT

1008
00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:34,980
THE VERY CONCEPT MAKES EVERY

1009
00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:36,980
DECENT AMERICAN WANT TO VOMIT.

1010
00:25:37,020 --> 00:25:37,980
AND THIS IS GOING TO TAKE AN

1011
00:25:38,020 --> 00:25:39,880
ADJUSTMENT ON EVERYBODY'S PART,

1012
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:40,980
FROM INDIVIDUAL VOTERS,

1013
00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:41,980
TO TV NETWORKS THAT ARE

1014
00:25:42,020 --> 00:25:43,000
ACCUSTOMED TO GOING ALL-OUT

1015
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,960
IN SELLING "ELECTION NIGHT"

1016
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,980
AS AN EVENT.

1017
00:25:48,020 --> 00:25:51,000
TO SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORKS THAT

1018
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:51,020
COULD BECOME CESSPOOLS OF

1019
00:25:51,020 --> 00:25:51,980
MISINFORMATION.

1020
00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:52,980
SO THERE ARE A LOT OF PLACES

1021
00:25:53,020 --> 00:25:53,980
WHERE REPUBLICANS MIGHT BE ABLE

1022
00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:54,980
TO PUT THEIR THUMB ON THE SCALE

1023
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:56,000
THIS ELECTION.

1024
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:57,980
AND IF YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS

1025
00:25:58,020 --> 00:25:58,980
ME BEING PARANOID, YOU SHOULD

1026
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:00,980
KNOW, IT'S ALREADY STARTED.

1027
00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:03,000
IN WISCONSIN, REPUBLICAN

1028
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:03,020
LEGISLATORS THREATENED TO SUE

1029
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,980
ELECTIONS OFFICIALS FOR HOLDING

1030
00:26:05,020 --> 00:26:05,980
AN EARLY-VOTING EVENT WHERE

1031
00:26:06,020 --> 00:26:07,000
10,000 PEOPLE CAST BALLOTS,

1032
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:07,960
SUGGESTING THEY MIGHT SEEK TO

1033
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:08,020
HAVE ALL THOSE VOTES

1034
00:26:08,020 --> 00:26:09,980
INVALIDATED.

1035
00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:11,580
MEANWHILE, IN TEXAS, THEIR

1036
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:12,980
GOVERNOR HAS INSISTED THAT

1037
00:26:13,020 --> 00:26:14,980
DROP-OFF LOCATIONS FOR ABSENTEE

1038
00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:15,980
BALLOTS BE LIMITED TO JUST ONE

1039
00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:17,980
PER COUNTY, WHETHER IT'S

1040
00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:18,980
LOVING COUNTY, WHICH HAS JUST

1041
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:20,980
169 RESIDENTS, OR HARRIS COUNTY,

1042
00:26:21,020 --> 00:26:23,980
WHICH HAS MORE THAN

1043
00:26:24,020 --> 00:26:25,980
FOUR MILLION,

1044
00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:27,000
ALTHOUGH I GUESS THAT DOES TRACK

1045
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:27,020
WITH TEXAS'S FAMOUS SLOGAN:

1046
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:27,980
DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS, UNLESS

1047
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:28,980
YOU'RE DIRECTING THEM TO A

1048
00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:29,980
SINGLE VOTING NEXUS,

1049
00:26:30,020 --> 00:26:30,980
EVEN WHILE SOME OF THEM COULD BE

1050
00:26:31,020 --> 00:26:36,980
DANGEROUSLY INFECTIOUS.

1051
00:26:37,020 --> 00:26:37,980
THAT SLOGAN NEVER MADE SENSE

1052
00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:38,980
TO ME UNTIL JUST NOW.

1053
00:26:39,020 --> 00:26:39,980
AND THIS BRINGS US TO OUR FINAL

1054
00:26:40,020 --> 00:26:40,980
POINT: WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP

1055
00:26:41,020 --> 00:26:41,980
THE SYSTEM RUN SMOOTHER?

1056
00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:43,000
WELL, LUCKILY, THERE ARE STEPS

1057
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:43,780
YOU CAN TAKE.

1058
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:44,020
FIRST, AS AN INDIVIDUAL,

1059
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:44,980
MAKE A PLAN TO VOTE.

1060
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:46,980
YOU CAN FIND INFORMATION FOR

1061
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:47,980
YOUR STATE AT CanIVote.org.

1062
00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:51,980
IF YOU WANT TO DO IT IN-PERSON,

1063
00:26:52,020 --> 00:26:52,980
ON ELECTION DAY, THAT'S GREAT.

1064
00:26:53,020 --> 00:26:53,980
ALTHOUGH WE DON'T WANT EVERYONE

1065
00:26:54,020 --> 00:26:54,980
DOING THAT, BECAUSE REMEMBER:

1066
00:26:55,020 --> 00:26:55,980
WITH FEWER POLLING PLACES OPEN

1067
00:26:56,020 --> 00:26:57,880
THIS YEAR, THAT COULD LEAD TO A

1068
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,980
"RUN THE JEWELS" LISTENING PARTY

1069
00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:01,980
THAT NOBODY WANTS.

1070
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,980
SO IF YOUR SCHEDULE IS FLEXIBLE

1071
00:27:04,020 --> 00:27:04,980
ENOUGH, AND YOU LIVE IN A STATE

1072
00:27:05,020 --> 00:27:05,980
WHERE YOU CAN VOTE EARLY, YOU

1073
00:27:06,020 --> 00:27:06,980
SHOULD DO THAT, ESPECIALLY TO

1074
00:27:07,020 --> 00:27:07,980
MAKE THE LINES SHORTER ON

1075
00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:08,980
ELECTION DAY FOR THOSE WHO DON'T

1076
00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:09,980
HAVE THAT LUXURY.

1077
00:27:10,020 --> 00:27:11,980
NOW IF YOU WANT TO VOTE BY

1078
00:27:12,020 --> 00:27:12,980
MAIL, THAT'S GREAT, TOO.

1079
00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:13,980
BUT WE SHOULD BE TRYING TO

1080
00:27:14,020 --> 00:27:14,980
FLATTEN THE VOTING CURVE TO TAKE

1081
00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:16,980
THE PRESSURE OFF THE SYSTEM.

1082
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:17,980
SO REQUEST YOUR BALLOT AS EARLY

1083
00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:20,980
AS POSSIBLE, READ ALL THE

1084
00:27:21,020 --> 00:27:21,980
INSTRUCTIONS, AND SEND IT BACK,

1085
00:27:22,020 --> 00:27:22,980
OR DROP IT OFF, AS SOON AS

1086
00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:24,980
YOU'VE FILLED IT IN.

1087
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:25,980
OH, AND ALSO, DO BE CAREFUL WITH

1088
00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:26,980
YOUR SIGNATURE, UNLESS YOU WANT

1089
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:27,980
SOME LOCAL NEWS REPORTER TO SHOW

1090
00:27:28,020 --> 00:27:29,980
UP TWO YEARS FROM NOW AND TELL

1091
00:27:30,020 --> 00:27:30,980
YOU YOUR VOTE DIDN'T COUNT AND

1092
00:27:31,020 --> 00:27:31,980
THROW YOUR SKILLS AS A TATTOO

1093
00:27:32,020 --> 00:27:33,980
ARTIST INTO SIGNIFICANT DOUBT.

1094
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,980
AND BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RE STILL

1095
00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:38,980
WORRIED ABOUT MAILING YOUR

1096
00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:39,980
BALLOT IN, IT IS WORTH KNOWING

1097
00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:40,980
46 STATES HAVE SOME FORM OF

1098
00:27:41,020 --> 00:27:41,980
BALLOT TRACKING, SO YOU CAN

1099
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:42,980
BE SURE IT WAS RECEIVED AND

1100
00:27:43,020 --> 00:27:43,980
COUNTED.

1101
00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:44,980
AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY USE

1102
00:27:45,020 --> 00:27:46,980
THAT RESOURCE IF YOU CAN.

1103
00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:48,980
THE REALLY IMPORTANT THING TO

1104
00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:50,980
REMEMBER IS, THIS ELECTION IS

1105
00:27:51,020 --> 00:27:51,980
ALREADY VERY DIFFERENT FROM ALL

1106
00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:52,980
THOSE BEFORE IT.

1107
00:27:53,020 --> 00:27:54,980
SO WE ALL NEED TO BE ON TOP OF

1108
00:27:55,020 --> 00:27:55,980
NOT ONLY OUR OWN VOTING PLANS,

1109
00:27:56,020 --> 00:27:56,980
BUT MAKING SURE OUR FRIENDS AND

1110
00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:57,980
FAMILY ARE ON TOP OF THEIRS AS

1111
00:27:58,020 --> 00:28:00,980
WELL.

1112
00:28:01,020 --> 00:28:02,980
BECAUSE I HAVE TO SAY, IF YOUR

1113
00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:03,980
PLAN IS TO JUST SIT BACK AND

1114
00:28:04,020 --> 00:28:05,980
EXPECT THE SYSTEM TO MAGICALLY

1115
00:28:06,020 --> 00:28:06,980
WORK ITSELF OUT, AND THAT THIS

1116
00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:07,980
MAN WILL HAVE A THREE-QUARTER

1117
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:08,980
LIFE CRISIS AND SUDDENLY TURN

1118
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:11,980
INTO A "GOOD LOSER," I'M SORRY

1119
00:28:12,020 --> 00:28:14,980
TO SAY, BUT THAT'S SIMPLY A

1120
00:28:15,020 --> 00:28:18,980
>> BAD IDEA!

1121
00:28:19,020 --> 00:28:20,000
>> John: IT REALLY IS.

1122
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:20,840
AND NOW, THIS.

1123
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:21,020
♪ ♪

1124
00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:23,980
>> Announcer: AND NOW...

1125
00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:26,000
PEOPLE MISS A LOT OF THINGS DUE

1126
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:26,020
TO THE PANDEMIC.

1127
00:28:26,020 --> 00:28:27,980
>> THERE IS NOTHING LIKE GOING

1128
00:28:28,020 --> 00:28:29,940
TO AN IRISH PUB IN NEW YORK CITY

1129
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,000
AND HAVING A PINT OF GUINNESS.

1130
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:33,960
THAT'S WHEN I MESS.

1131
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000
>> ONE THING I MISS IS OPENING

1132
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:36,020
CANDLES AND JUST SMELLING.

1133
00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,980
BUT NOW THAT I AM SO --

1134
00:28:39,020 --> 00:28:41,000
PRACTICALLY PARANOID ABOUT

1135
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:41,020
TOUCHING SERVICES, I'M NOT GOING

1136
00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:43,980
TO TOUCH ANYTHING I DON'T BUY.

1137
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:45,980
I MISS HUGGING, I AM A HUGGER

1138
00:28:46,020 --> 00:28:46,980
AND I MISS HUGGING.

1139
00:28:47,020 --> 00:28:49,000
>> I HUGGED SOME TREES IN MY

1140
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:49,020
YARD.

1141
00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:49,980
THAT IS HOW DESPERATE I GOT.

1142
00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:52,000
>> I MISS THE CENTRAL PARK

1143
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:52,020
ZOO'S.

1144
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,980
>> I MISS DISNEYLAND SO MUCH.

1145
00:28:55,020 --> 00:28:57,980
>> I MISS MY VANILLA LATTE.

1146
00:28:58,020 --> 00:28:58,980
>> I MISS MISS PIGGY.

1147
00:28:59,020 --> 00:29:00,980
>> THE THINGS I MISS THE MOST

1148
00:29:01,020 --> 00:29:03,000
ABOUT BEING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND'S

1149
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:03,500
BRUNCH!

1150
00:29:03,020 --> 00:29:04,820
>> FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATIONS.

1151
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
>> !

1152
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:05,980
YOU JUST DON'T HAVE THEM.

1153
00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:06,980
>> I AM RIGHT HERE.

1154
00:29:07,020 --> 00:29:09,000
>> I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT THERE.

1155
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:09,020
[LAUGHTER]

1156
00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:10,980
>> YOU KNOW WHAT A MESS?

1157
00:29:11,020 --> 00:29:14,980
LICKING MY FINGERS.

1158
00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:16,980
>> LICKING MY FINGERS.

1159
00:29:17,020 --> 00:29:18,980
♪ ♪

1160
00:29:19,020 --> 00:29:19,980
>> John: MOVING ON.

1161
00:29:20,020 --> 00:29:20,980
FINALLY TONIGHT, A QUICK WORD

1162
00:29:21,020 --> 00:29:21,980
ABOUT MUSEUMS.

1163
00:29:22,020 --> 00:29:22,980
THINK OF THEM AS HISTORY'S

1164
00:29:23,020 --> 00:29:23,980
INSTAGRAM.

1165
00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:24,980
IF THIS WAS POSTED IN 2020, IT

1166
00:29:25,020 --> 00:29:25,980
WOULDN'T BE CALLED "LUNCHEON OF

1167
00:29:26,020 --> 00:29:26,980
THE BOATING PARTY," IT'D BE

1168
00:29:27,020 --> 00:29:27,980
CALLED "BRUNCH TIME WITH

1169
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:29,000
MY BEST BAEs.

1170
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:29,960
#SunsOutGunsOut.

1171
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,980
#OilOnCanvas."

1172
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:32,980
LIKE MOST INDUSTRIES, MUSEUMS

1173
00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:33,980
HAVE TAKEN A HUGE HIT DURING

1174
00:29:34,020 --> 00:29:34,980
THE PANDEMIC, AND SOME HAVE HAD

1175
00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:35,980
TO GET IMAGINATIVE ABOUT WAYS

1176
00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:38,980
TO RAISE REVENUE AND ATTENTION,

1177
00:29:39,020 --> 00:29:39,980
FROM LIVE-STREAMING GALAS,

1178
00:29:40,020 --> 00:29:41,980
TO OFFERING FREE DOWNLOADS OF

1179
00:29:42,020 --> 00:29:42,980
ARTWORK TO PLAYERS OF

1180
00:29:43,020 --> 00:29:43,980
ANIMAL CROSSING, TO THIS.

1181
00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:44,980
>> THE PENGUINS FROM THE ZOO

1182
00:29:45,020 --> 00:29:45,980
GOT OUT AND WADDLED AROUND,

1183
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:46,980
ENJOYING A MORNING OF FINE ART

1184
00:29:47,020 --> 00:29:48,980
AND CULTURE AT

1185
00:29:49,020 --> 00:29:49,980
THE NELSON ATKINS' MUSEUM

1186
00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:51,980
IN KANSAS CITY.

1187
00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:52,980
THE ANIMALS TAKING A FIELD

1188
00:29:53,020 --> 00:29:53,980
TRIP -- LOOK AT THAT AWESOME

1189
00:29:54,020 --> 00:29:54,980
SHOT -- TO THE MUSEUM WHILE

1190
00:29:55,020 --> 00:29:56,980
IT'S CLOSED TO THE PUBLIC.

1191
00:29:57,020 --> 00:29:57,980
AND APPARENTLY, THEY HAD SOME

1192
00:29:58,020 --> 00:30:01,980
VERY STRONG OPINIONS.

1193
00:30:02,020 --> 00:30:03,980
>> THEY SEEMED TO REACT MUCH

1194
00:30:04,020 --> 00:30:05,000
BETTER TO CARAVAGGIO THAN TO

1195
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:05,500
MONET.

1196
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:06,980
>> John: WELL, OF COURSE THEY

1197
00:30:07,020 --> 00:30:07,980
DID.

1198
00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:10,980
PENGUINS ARE AQUATIC FLIGHTLESS

1199
00:30:11,020 --> 00:30:11,980
BIRDS, NOT COMPLETE PHILISTINES.

1200
00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:12,980
EVEN THEY CAN APPRECIATE

1201
00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:13,980
THAT CARAVAGGIO'S USE OF LIGHT

1202
00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:15,000
REMAINS UNPARALLELED

1203
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:15,020
TO THIS DAY.

1204
00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:16,980
THE MAN PRACTICALLY INVENTED

1205
00:30:17,020 --> 00:30:17,980
CHIAROSCURO.

1206
00:30:18,020 --> 00:30:18,980
WHEREAS MONET IS AT THIS POINT

1207
00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:19,980
REALLY MORE A POP CULTURE

1208
00:30:20,020 --> 00:30:20,980
FIGURE.

1209
00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,980
I MEAN, WHAT DID HE REALLY DO

1210
00:30:23,020 --> 00:30:23,980
OTHER THAN VOMIT PASTELS AND

1211
00:30:24,020 --> 00:30:26,000
GIVE UNIMAGINATIVE DUMB DUMBS

1212
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:26,020
SOMETHING PRETTY TO HANG IN

1213
00:30:26,020 --> 00:30:26,980
THEIR POWDER ROOMS?

1214
00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:28,980
LISTEN, I DON'T THINK THAT.

1215
00:30:29,020 --> 00:30:30,980
PENGUINS DO.

1216
00:30:31,020 --> 00:30:31,980
BUT THE TRUTH IS, FOR MANY

1217
00:30:32,020 --> 00:30:33,980
BELOVED INSTITUTIONS, IT'S JUST

1218
00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:36,980
NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH.

1219
00:30:37,020 --> 00:30:37,980
>> MOST MUSEUMS GET 50% OF THEIR

1220
00:30:38,020 --> 00:30:38,980
OPERATING BUDGETS FROM EARNED

1221
00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:39,980
SOURCES.

1222
00:30:40,020 --> 00:30:41,980
SO FROM TICKET SALES, SPECIAL

1223
00:30:42,020 --> 00:30:42,980
PROGRAMMING, AND PURCHASES OF

1224
00:30:43,020 --> 00:30:46,980
TICKETS TO THOSE THINGS.

1225
00:30:47,020 --> 00:30:47,980
>> ACCORDING TO A STUDY

1226
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:48,980
CONDUCTED BY THE AMERICAN

1227
00:30:49,020 --> 00:30:49,980
ALLIANCE OF MUSEUMS, ONE-THIRD

1228
00:30:50,020 --> 00:30:50,980
OF MUSEUMS MAY PERMANENTLY CLOSE

1229
00:30:51,020 --> 00:30:53,980
IN THE NEXT YEAR.

1230
00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:54,980
>> John: THAT'S TERRIBLE.

1231
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:56,580
MUSEUMS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE

1232
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,980
LASTING MONUMENTS TO SCIENTIFIC,

1233
00:30:59,020 --> 00:30:59,980
CULTURAL, AND ARTISTIC INTEREST,

1234
00:31:00,020 --> 00:31:01,980
NOT BE AS DISPOSABLE AS

1235
00:31:02,020 --> 00:31:02,980
THE FOURTH H&M IN TIMES SQUARE.

1236
00:31:03,020 --> 00:31:04,980
THINGS ARE SO BAD,

1237
00:31:05,020 --> 00:31:05,980
THE ASSOCIATION OF ART MUSEUM

1238
00:31:06,020 --> 00:31:07,980
DIRECTORS RECENTLY RELAXED THEIR

1239
00:31:08,020 --> 00:31:09,980
GUIDELINES, ALLOWING MUSEUMS TO

1240
00:31:10,020 --> 00:31:11,980
SELL OFF PIECES OF ART IN ORDER

1241
00:31:12,020 --> 00:31:13,980
TO HELP MAKE ENDS MEET.

1242
00:31:14,020 --> 00:31:14,980
THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM HAS ALREADY

1243
00:31:15,020 --> 00:31:15,980
STARTED DOING THAT.

1244
00:31:16,020 --> 00:31:18,980
AND IT'S NOT JUST MAJOR

1245
00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:22,980
INSTITUTIONS.

1246
00:31:23,020 --> 00:31:23,980
THERE ARE TINY MUSEUMS ACROSS

1247
00:31:24,020 --> 00:31:24,980
THIS COUNTRY THAT ARE REALLY

1248
00:31:25,020 --> 00:31:25,980
STRUGGLING.

1249
00:31:26,020 --> 00:31:26,980
AND THIS IS WHERE WE MAY

1250
00:31:27,020 --> 00:31:27,980
ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO HELP.

1251
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:28,980
BECAUSE WE'VE DABBLED A BIT IN

1252
00:31:29,020 --> 00:31:29,980
THE ART MARKET THIS YEAR, AND

1253
00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:30,980
HAVE ACQUIRED A SMALL, BUT HIGH

1254
00:31:31,020 --> 00:31:31,980
QUALITY COLLECTION OF MODERN

1255
00:31:32,020 --> 00:31:32,980
MASTERPIECES.

1256
00:31:33,020 --> 00:31:34,980
YOU MAY REMEMBER "STAY UP LATE"

1257
00:31:35,020 --> 00:31:36,980
BY BRIAN SWORDS OF YORK.

1258
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:37,980
IT'S A MEDITATIVE PIECE

1259
00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:38,980
DEPICTING TWO RATS IN

1260
00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,980
A POST-COITAL EMBRACE.

1261
00:31:41,020 --> 00:31:42,400
IN TERMS OF IMPORTANCE,

1262
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:43,980
IT'S VERY MUCH THE MONA LISA OF

1263
00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:44,980
OUR COLLECTION, AND SWORDS THE

1264
00:31:45,020 --> 00:31:45,980
DA VINCI.

1265
00:31:46,020 --> 00:31:47,980
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

1266
00:31:48,020 --> 00:31:49,980
WE ALSO ACQUIRED "TIES" BY

1267
00:31:50,020 --> 00:31:50,980
JUDITH KUDLOW, A MULTICHROMATIC

1268
00:31:51,020 --> 00:31:52,980
INSTALLMENT OF HER CAREER-LONG

1269
00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:54,980
EXPLORATION OF A WORLD WITHOUT

1270
00:31:55,020 --> 00:31:55,980
HER HUSBAND, LARRY.

1271
00:31:56,020 --> 00:31:57,980
AND WE ACTUALLY HAVE A THIRD

1272
00:31:58,020 --> 00:31:59,980
PIECE WE'VE HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE

1273
00:32:00,020 --> 00:32:01,980
TO SHOW YOU YET.

1274
00:32:02,020 --> 00:32:02,980
AND BEFORE I SHOW YOU, A LITTLE

1275
00:32:03,020 --> 00:32:03,980
BACKGROUND.

1276
00:32:04,020 --> 00:32:05,640
YOU MAY REMEMBER BACK, SAY,

1277
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:06,020
400 YEARS AGO OR SO, WE DID

1278
00:32:06,020 --> 00:32:06,980
A SEGMENT ON WENDY WILLIAMS'S

1279
00:32:07,020 --> 00:32:08,980
MAGNIFICENT LOCKDOWN VERSION

1280
00:32:09,020 --> 00:32:09,980
OF HER TALK SHOW, WHERE WE

1281
00:32:10,020 --> 00:32:10,980
COMPLIMENTED HER EATING MANY

1282
00:32:11,020 --> 00:32:12,980
WEIRD FOODSTUFFS DURING HER

1283
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:14,980
BROADCAST.

1284
00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,980
WE EVEN FOUND AND SENT HER

1285
00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:17,980
A SWEATSUIT SHE WAS LOOKING FOR.

1286
00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:19,980
AND SHORTLY AFTER, WE RECEIVED

1287
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:22,980
A NOTE FROM HER SHOW SAYING

1288
00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:23,980
THEY'D -- AND I QUOTE -- "LIKE

1289
00:32:24,020 --> 00:32:25,980
TO GIFT JOHN WITH A VERY ELEGANT

1290
00:32:26,020 --> 00:32:26,980
PAINTING OF WENDY EATING

1291
00:32:27,020 --> 00:32:27,980
A LAMB CHOP."

1292
00:32:28,020 --> 00:32:29,980
AND GUESS WHAT?

1293
00:32:30,020 --> 00:32:31,980
WE RECEIVED IT, AND IF THIS

1294
00:32:32,020 --> 00:32:34,980
ISN'T A VERY ELEGANT PAINTING

1295
00:32:35,020 --> 00:32:35,980
OF WENDY EATING A LAMB CHOP,

1296
00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:38,980
I SIMPLY DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

1297
00:32:39,020 --> 00:32:41,980
LOOK, IN MOMENTS OF SUFFERING,

1298
00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:42,980
HUMANITY HAS, TIME AND AGAIN,

1299
00:32:43,020 --> 00:32:44,980
FOUND SOLACE IN THE ARTS.

1300
00:32:45,020 --> 00:32:48,980
SO TONIGHT, I'M PROUD TO

1301
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:49,980
ANNOUNCE THAT THIS COLLECTION IS

1302
00:32:50,020 --> 00:32:51,980
AVAILABLE TO GO ON TOUR.

1303
00:32:52,020 --> 00:32:52,980
THAT IS RIGHT.

1304
00:32:53,020 --> 00:32:55,980
WE'RE INVITING ANY U.S. MUSEUM

1305
00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:56,980
-- AS LONG AS THEY CAN SAFELY

1306
00:32:57,020 --> 00:32:57,980
SHOW THEM -- TO APPLY TO HOST

1307
00:32:58,020 --> 00:32:58,980
THESE MASTERPIECES.

1308
00:32:59,020 --> 00:32:59,980
WE WILL SEND THEM TO YOU, ALONG

1309
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,980
WITH A $10,000 DONATION, PLUS

1310
00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:02,980
ANOTHER $10,000 DONATION

1311
00:33:03,020 --> 00:33:04,980
TO A FOOD BANK IN YOUR AREA.

1312
00:33:05,020 --> 00:33:06,980
WE'LL BE PICKING FIVE MUSEUMS

1313
00:33:07,020 --> 00:33:08,980
TO GET THEM FOR TWO WEEKS

1314
00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:09,980
APIECE, AND IF YOU WANT TO

1315
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:11,980
TAKE PART, YOU CAN EMAIL

1316
00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:14,000
John@JohnOliverHasYourRatErotica

1317
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,980
.com BY NOVEMBER 1st.

1318
00:33:17,020 --> 00:33:18,980
AND IF SELECTED, SOON, YOU TOO

1319
00:33:19,020 --> 00:33:21,980
WILL BE ABLE TO FEAST YOUR EYES

1320
00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:22,980
UPON TRUE ART, LIKE WENDY IS

1321
00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:25,980
FEASTING UPON THAT LAMB CHOP.

1322
00:33:26,020 --> 00:33:29,000
YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

1323
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:29,020
I PROMISE.

1324
00:33:29,020 --> 00:33:32,980
THAT'S OUR SHOW.

1325
00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:34,980
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

1326
00:33:35,020 --> 00:33:36,000
WE'RE OFF NEXT WEEK.

1327
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:36,020
SEE YOU ON OCTOBER 18TH.

1328
00:33:36,020 --> 00:33:40,000
GOOD NIGHT!

1329
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:53,980
♪ ♪

1330
00:33:54,020 --> 00:33:57,000
♪ ♪