♪ ♪
>> John: HI THERE!
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
STILL COMING TO YOU FROM THIS
BLANK VOID.
THINK OF IT LIKE DISNEY WORLD --
A BRIGHT WONDERLAND WHERE,
FOR SOME REASON,
PEOPLE GET EXCITED TO SEE
A LARGE, PANTSLESS BIRD.
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
RUDY GIULIANI'S LAW LICENSE WAS
SUSPENDED, THE SUPREME COURT
RELEASED A SERIES OF RULINGS,
ONE OF WHICH INVOLVED
JUSTICE BREYER HAVING TO EXPLAIN
WHAT SNAPCHAT WAS,
AND THEN THERE WAS THIS:
>> SENATE REPUBLICANS TONIGHT
BLOCKING A DEMOCRATIC VOTING
BILL THAT WOULD HAVE OVERHAULED
THE COUNTRY'S ELECTION SYSTEM.
REPUBLICANS TONIGHT SLAMMING
THE BILL AS A PARTISAN POWER
GRAB BY DEMOCRATS THAT WOULD
FEDERALIZE ELECTIONS, INCLUDING
PREVENTING STATES FROM REQUIRING
VOTER I.D.
>> S1 WOULD TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS
OF PEOPLE IN EACH OF THE
50 STATES TO DETERMINE WHICH
ELECTION RULES WORK BEST FOR
THEIR CITIZENS.
>> John: WELL....
YEAH, IT WOULD.
BECAUSE HISTORY SHOWS CERTAIN
PEOPLE IN CERTAIN STATES HAVE
DETERMINED WHICH ELECTION RULES
WORK BEST FOR CERTAIN CITIZENS.
PROBLEM,
THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING
PROBLEM, COLLINS.
YOUR PARTY MIGHT KNOW THAT IF IT
WASN'T SO BUSY FIGHTING TO COVER
UP THAT HISTORY.
ALTHOUGH I DO GET IT, IF I HAD
THE POWER TO COVER UP PAST
MISTAKES, I'D PROBABLY ERASE
THE WHOLE DRUMPF THING FROM
THE INTERNET, ALONG WITH ABOUT
TWO DECADES OF HAIRCUTS.
BUT, LIKE MY BARBER/THERAPIST
TELLS ME, "WE CAN'T CHANGE
HISTORY, WE CAN ONLY PREVENT IT
FROM HAPPENING AGAIN."
AND THE DEFEAT OF THIS BILL
COMES AS REPUBLICANS IN STATE
LEGISLATURES HAVE PUSHED NEARLY
400 NEW BILLS AND LAWS
RESTRICTING VOTING RIGHTS,
WHICH, IN MANY CASES, ARE FUELED
BY LIES ABOUT VOTER FRAUD IN
THE LAST ELECTION, DESPITE THOSE
LIES CONTINUALLY FALLING APART.
JUST THIS WEEK, A MICHIGAN
REPUBLICAN-LED SENATE
INVESTIGATION PUBLISHED A REPORT
FINDING "NO EVIDENCE OF
WIDESPREAD OR SYSTEMATIC FRAUD
IN THE STATE'S HANDLING OF
THE ELECTION."
AND THERE'S ACTUALLY ANOTHER,
EVEN WILDER CLAIM THAT'S
UNRAVELING IN TRULY SPECTACULAR
FASHION.
IT'S SOMETHING CALLED
"ITALYGATE," WHICH ISN'T
ACTUALLY REFERRING TO THE MANY
TIMES THE CUOMO BROTHERS DID
"NEWS INCEST," BUT IT IS A SPICY
MEAT-A-BALL OF A CONSPIRACY.
AND THERE WERE SOME DEVELOPMENTS
EARLIER THIS MONTH, WHEN EMAILS
SURFACED BETWEEN MARK MEADOWS,
TRUMP'S CHIEF OF STAFF, AND
THE ACTING ATTORNEY GENERAL
THAT WERE SENT LAST DECEMBER.
>> AMONG MEADOWS' REQUESTS:
THAT ROSEN LOOK INTO ITALYGATE,
A CONSPIRACY THEORY THAT PEOPLE
IN ITALY USED MILITARY
TECHNOLOGY AND SATELLITES TO
SWITCH TRUMP VOTES TO BIDEN
VOTES IN U.S. VOTING MACHINES.
>> John: RIGHT.
THE THEORY IS, MILITARY
SATELLITES APPARENTLY STOLE
THE ELECTION.
AND I KNOW THAT SOUNDS STUPID,
AND THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS.
AND IT GOT EARLY TRACTION THANKS
TO THIS JOURNALIST, WHO'S BEEN
CALLED "THE SEAN HANNITY OF
ITALY."
WHICH ALREADY MIGHT BE THE
MEANEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD
IN MY LIFE.
BUT THE KEY QUESTION STILL IS,
HOW DID THAT THEORY GET TO
THE WHITE HOUSE?
WELL, LAST WEEKEND,
"THE WASHINGTON POST" FILLED IN
A KEY CONNECTION, AND I'M GOING
TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT NOT BECAUSE
IT'S IMPORTANT, BUT BECAUSE IT
IS INCREDIBLE.
AND IT CONCERNS THIS WOMAN,
MICHELE ROOSEVELT EDWARDS,
A BUSINESSWOMAN AND SOLE
SURVIVING CONSUMER OF
THE "BUMP IT."
THE EMAIL MEADOWS SENT
CONCERNING ITALYGATE INCLUDED
THIS LETTER, WHICH OUTLINED
THE CONSPIRACY, AND WAS PRINTED
ON THE LETTERHEAD OF A COMPANY
EDWARDS RUNS.
AND IT DOESN'T STOP THERE --
BECAUSE ANOTHER OF HER FIRMS WAS
PUSHING THE ITALYGATE CLAIMS
AROUND THE SAME TIME.
AND WHILE EDWARDS CLAIMS SHE WAS
UNAWARE OF THAT LETTER, THE MORE
YOU LEARN ABOUT HER, THE HARDER
IT IS TO TAKE ANYTHING SHE SAYS
AT FACE VALUE.
BECAUSE THIS WOMAN HAS LIVED
MANY AMAZING LIVES.
AFTER UNSUCCESSFULLY RUNNING
FOR CONGRESS IN THE '80s, SHE
HAD A STINT DESIGNING CHILDREN'S
CLOTHING, SAYING SHE WAS
"KNOWN AS THE COCO CHANEL IN
THE CHILDREN'S INDUSTRY,"
A CLAIM SUPPORTED BY NO ONE.
SHE LATER REINVENTED HERSELF
AS A PEACE BROKER FOR
THE SOMALI PEOPLE, TELLING
INTERVIEWERS, "THEY CALL ME
THE MOTHER OF SOMALIA, I HAVE
NINE MILLION CHILDREN."
AND WHO, EXACTLY, ARE "THEY"
THERE?
BECAUSE UNLESS THE SOMALI PEOPLE
UNANIMOUSLY VOTED TO REFER TO
WHAT YOU'D GET IF
CALLISTA GINGRICH STUCK A FORK
INTO AN OUTLET AS
"THEIR NATIONAL MOMMY,"
I'M REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO STOP
YOU RIGHT THERE.
AND AS EDWARDS EAGERLY INSERTED
HERSELF INTO SOMALI AFFAIRS,
A NAVAL INTELLIGENCE OFFICER WHO
ONCE WORKED WITH HER WAS QUOTED
NO
AS SAYING, "THE PROBLEM WITH
MICHELE IS SEPARATING FACT FROM
FICTION.
WHAT IS REAL, AND WHAT IS
MADE UP?"
TO WHICH I'D SAY, "FOR A START,
MAYBE THE NINE MILLION CHILDREN
THING."
BUT WAIT, IT DOESN'T STOP THERE.
BECAUSE EARLIER THIS YEAR,
EDWARDS WAS FEATURED ON THIS
TV SHOW IN ICELAND, AFTER TAKING
OVER AN AIRLINE THERE -- IT'S
CALLED "WOW" AIR -- IT'S
TERRIBLE; THAT'S NOT THE POINT;
NO
WE DON'T HAVE TIME.
AND DURING THE INTERVIEW,
SHE TOOK THE REPORTER ON A TOUR
OF HER VAST, $30 MILLION
VIRGINIA ESTATE.
ALTHOUGH IT WAS CLEAR STRAIGHT
AWAY SOMETHING WAS OFF.
>> IT'S NEARLY 1,500 ACRES.
IT TAKES 11 PEOPLE FULL-TIME
TO MANAGE THE OUTSIDE OF THE
PROPERTY ON A FULL-TIME BASIS.
38,000 FEET, 22 BEDROOMS,
THREE KITCHENS.
NO
>> HOW MANY OF THEM DO YOU USE?
>> ALL THREE.
THAT'S WHY THE CHEF'S HERE.
>> THE KITCHENS WERE ACTUALLY
PRETTY EMPTY, HARDLY ANY SIGNS
OF ACTIVITY.
AND THE MASTER CHEF WAS NOT
ON HAND EITHER TO BREW COFFEE:
THAT CAME IN A BOX FROM A
DOUGHNUT CHAIN.
>> John: OKAY, SO JUST TO MAKE
SURE I HAVE THIS STRAIGHT -- SHE
EMPLOYS 11 PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE
OF HER 1500 ACRE ESTATE THAT
CONTAINS THREE KITCHENS, NO
PERSONAL EFFECTS, AND ONE MAN
WHOSE JOB SEEMS TO BE TO POUR
TAKEOUT DUNKIN' INTO A STYROFOAM
NO
CUP WHILE DRESSED LIKE THE FIRST
RESULT YOU GET WHEN YOU GOOGLE
"SILLY CARTOON CHEF."
AND IF IT SEEMED LIKE
THE REPORTER IS HINTING AT
SOMETHING THERE, IT'S BECAUSE
HE VERY MUCH WAS.
>> BEFORE WE WRAP UP -- BECAUSE
WE STARTED WITH A TOUR OF YOUR
HOME, WHEN I WAS JUST LOOKING OF
WHERE I SHOULD GO ON -- IN A
SEARCH ENGINE, THE STUFF THAT
CAME UP WAS ALL REAL ESTATE
LISTINGS, AND THAT THIS PLACE
WAS FOR SALE.
>> MMM-HM.
>> IS IT FOR SALE?
>> NO.
IT'S NOT NOW.
>> AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
HERE?
>> THIS IS A RECENT ACQUISITION
FOR US.
>> IT'S VERY SORT OF --
IT'S VERY FORMAL.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE WALKING INTO
A -- A RENTED PROPERTY.
>> NO.
IT'S NOT RENTED PROPERTY,
I CAN ASSURE YOU.
>> SO THIS IS WHERE YOU LIVE,
THIS IS YOUR HOME.
>> YES, THIS IS --
>> THIS IS YOUR PROPERTY.
>> YES.
>> John: NO, IT ISN'T.
BECAUSE OF COURSE IT ISN'T!
IN FACT, THE ACTUAL OWNER OF
THAT PROPERTY WAS SHOWN THAT
VIDEO AND SAID, "SHE'S IN MY
HOUSE.
HOW IS SHE IN MY HOUSE?"
WHICH IS JUST SPECTACULAR.
AND THE ANSWER MAY BE THAT
EDWARDS -- IN ADDITION TO BEING
THE COCO CHANEL FOR CHILDREN AND
THE SOMALI MOMMY -- HAS ALSO
BEEN A LICENSED REALTOR IN
THE AREA, WHICH I'M GUESSING IS
HELPFUL WHEN SHE NEEDS A NEW
PLACE TO NOT-LIVE.
AND THE THING IS, THIS STORY
IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A
CARTOONISHLY DESPERATE ATTEMPT
TO STEAL AN ELECTION,
WHICH SOMEHOW INVOLVES
A SQUATTER DRESSED AS
ORVILLE REDDENBACHER'S
FIRST WIFE WHO GOT WRITTEN OUT
OF THE WILL.
AND I'M GLAD I GOT TO TELL YOU
ABOUT IT.
BUT IT'S ALSO IMPORTANT TO
REMEMBER, THERE ARE FAR MORE
EFFECTIVE METHODS UNDERMINING
DEMOCRACY AS WE SPEAK -- LIKE
ALLOWING STATES TO PASS LAWS
RESTRICTING BALLOT ACCESS.
THE BULLSHIT ARTISTS TO REALLY
WATCH OUT FOR ARE THE ONES
URGING CIVILITY WHILE ARGUING
IT'S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS
PEOPLE FROM VOTING, NOT THE ONES
NO
WEARING GOLD BOW TIES IN HOMES
THEY DON'T OWN, THEY'RE THE ONES
URGING CIVILITY WHILE ARGUING
THAT IT'S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS
NO IF SOME STATES WANT TO BAR
PEOPLE FROM VOTING, BECAUSE THAT
IS THE KIND OF BEHAVIOR THAT
SHOULD MAKE US ALL STAND UP AND
SAY, SHE IS IN OUR GOVERNMENT,
HOW IS SHE IN OUR GOVERNMENT?
AND NOW THIS.
♪ ♪
>> Announcer: AND NOW...
ON THE OCCASION OF HIS DEPARTURE
FROM C-SPAN, ONE LAST SALUTE TO
THE MOST PATIENT MAN ON
TELEVISION.
>> NEXT UP IS LOUIS.
GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE
CONVERSATION.
>> YES, HI.
>> GO AHEAD, PLEASE.
>> HELLO?
>> YES, YOU ARE ON THE AIR,
GO AHEAD.
>> OH, ON AIR WHERE?
C-SPAN?
>> YES, GO AHEAD, GOOD MORNING.
>> WHEN A PRO-TRUMPER COMES ON
THERE, YOU INTERRUPT THEM, ASK
THEM QUESTIONS, TRYING TO BACK
THEM DOWN FROM BEING A
PRO-TRUMPER.
BUT YET AN ANTI-TRUMPER, YOU
HAVE A NASTY HABIT OF LETTING
THEM RANT AND RAVE.
>> WHAT WE NEED IS ANOTHER
EDWARD R. MURROW, WHO WENT
TO WAR.
WALTER CRONKITE, WHO WENT TO
WAR.
BUT INSTEAD, WE GOT YOU, STEVE.
>> MY COMMENTS ARE OKAY.
>> YOU ARE SOUNDING LOUD AND
CLEAR.
>> VERY GOOD.
WHAT TOPIC ARE WE SPEAKING
ABOUT, BECAUSE I AM --
>> I AM AGAINST THE WORD
"GODDAMN" BEING USED ON THE
AIRWAVES.
>> AND YOU JUST USED IT.
>> YOU GUYS ARE NOTHING BUT
HACKS.
PLEASE DON'T CUT ME OFF.
I KNOW I SEE YOUR HAND GOING
THERE, GETTING READY TO CUT ME
OFF, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH
THE TRUTH.
>> AND THAT SHOULDN'T BE TOO
MUCH -- OH, DON'T REACH FOR THE
BUTTON.
I AM MAKING GOOD POINTS.
>> NO, I AM REACHING FOR
"THE NEW YORK TIMES."
I WANT TO MAKE SURE WE CAN SHOW
THE THREE HEADLINES HERE.
PLEASE CONTINUE.
>> OKAY.
UM...
♪ ♪
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT
CONCERNS HEALTH CARE, THE FIELD
RESPONSIBLE FOR REPAIRING
ORGANS, TREATING CANCER, AND
REMOVING FOREIGN OBJECTS FROM
RECTUMS, WHICH HAVE RECENTLY
INCLUDED A "PLASTIC TURTLE,"
A "FORK," "SIX MAGIC MARKERS,"
AND A "CAT TOY BELL" WHICH,
CREDIT WHERE ITS DUE, IS THE
MOST PROMISING ADVANCEMENT IN
CAT HIDING PLACES SINCE
"UNDER THE DRESSER."
ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE IS A BIG
PROBLEM IN AMERICA, AND ONE OF
THE KEY REASONS IS THAT HEALTH
INSURANCE IS OFTEN LINKED TO
EMPLOYMENT.
WHY IS THAT THE CASE?
WELL, BECAUSE WE DO IT WRONG.
THERE'S A RIGHT WAY TO DO IT,
BUT WE DON'T DO IT THAT WAY.
WE DO IT THE WRONG WAY.
AND THIS IS A PARTICULAR PROBLEM
AT THE MOMENT, BECAUSE
EMPLOYMENT IS STILL DOWN
7.6 MILLION JOBS FROM ITS
PRE-PANDEMIC LEVEL.
ALL OF WHICH MEANS MANY ARE
STRUGGLING TO FIND HEALTH CARE
COVERAGE RIGHT NOW.
SO THEY MIGHT BE INTRIGUED IF
THEY STUMBLE ON AN AD LIKE THIS.
>> MY HEALTH CARE COSTS WERE
GONNA DOUBLE THIS YEAR.
>> DOUBLE.
>> DOUBLED.
>> IT WAS DOWN TO HEALTH CARE OR
MY STUDENT LOANS.
>> I FOUND A BETTER WAY.
>> IT'S NEIGHBORS HELPING
NEIGHBORS.
>> LIBERTY HEALTHSHARE.
>> IT'S FREEDOM FROM INSURANCE.
>> AT LIBERTY HEALTHSHARE,
WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER AND KEEP
HEALTH COSTS DOWN.
>> WE'RE CHANGING THE WAY
YOU'RE PAYING FOR HEALTH CARE.
>> THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.
>> WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
>> TOGETHER.
>> John: WELL, HOLD ON, BECAUSE
I'M NOT SURE HOW "TOGETHER"
YOU ALL ARE.
WHAT I SAW THERE WAS A BUNCH OF
PEOPLE TOGETHER WITH WARM LENS
FLARES, AND THEN ONE WEIRD OLDER
MAN VERY MUCH ON HIS OWN IN
BLACK AND WHITE.
HE'S IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT
THING, AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO
SAY WHY, BUT ON SOME LEVEL,
I THINK WE ALL KNOW.
THAT AD IS FOR SOMETHING CALLED
A HEALTH CARE SHARING MINISTRY.
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF THEM
BEFORE, YOU MAY HAVE COME ACROSS
ONE AND NOT EVEN REALIZED IT,
BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN GROWING
FAST IN THE U.S.
AND THE KEY PHRASE IN THAT AD IS
"FREEDOM FROM INSURANCE."
BECAUSE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
TO KNOW ABOUT HEALTH CARE
SHARING MINISTRIES -- OR HCSMs
-- ISN'T JUST THAT THEY CAN BE
CHEAPER THAN HEALTH INSURANCE,
WHICH THEY CAN, IT'S THAT
THEY'RE ALSO NOT
HEALTH INSURANCE.
GENERALLY, THEY'RE NONPROFITS
WHERE PEOPLE WHO SHARE RELIGIOUS
BELIEFS -- USUALLY CHRISTIANITY
-- AGREE TO HELP COVER
EACH OTHERS' MEDICAL BILLS.
HERE IS A HEARTWARMING STORY
ABOUT WHAT ONE OF THEM LOOKS
LIKE IN PRACTICE.
>> WE'RE PRAYING FOR A YOUNG
LADY NAMED KIMBERLY.
>> BOB STEADMAN AND HIS FAMILY
ARE PRAYING FOR SOMEONE THEY'VE
NEVER MET.
>> SHE HAD A SHUNT INSTALLED
IN HER BRAIN.
>> THEY'VE ALSO PREPARED A CARD
WITH A CHECK FOR $561.
>> TO BEAR HER BURDEN BY SENDING
THEM SOME MONEY.
>> A SCENE LIKE THIS PLAYS OUT
HERE ONCE A MONTH.
>> IT DOES TAKE A MEASURE OF
FAITH TO DO IT.
WE ARE SHARING.
THIS IS SO DIFFERENT THAN WHAT
WE'RE USED TO IN OUR SOCIETY.
>> John: HE'S RIGHT.
PEOPLE ACTUALLY LOOKING OUT
FOR EACH OTHER DOES SOUND BETTER
THAN OUR CURRENT SYSTEM,
WHICH IS: GET SICK, HAVE
INSURANCE DECLINE COVERAGE,
AND THEN HOPE DEBRA MESSING
RETWEETS YOUR GOFUNDME.
THAT'S GREAT, DEBRA, BUT DID YOU
DONATE?
DID YOU?
DID YOU, DEBRA?
AND IT DOES FEEL MORE PERSONAL,
SENDING $500 A MONTH TO
A STRANGER IN NEED THAN TO
A COMPANY THAT SOUNDS LIKE
SOMEONE MADE UP A WORD AFTER
GETTING A SHITTY SCRABBLE HAND.
PERHAPS THAT'S WHY THE
LOCAL-NEWS TEAM WHO COVERED THAT
STORY SEEMED SO MOVED AFTER IT
ENDED.
>> I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE
BEING THAT PERSON AND GETTING
THE CHECK IN THE MAIL?
YOU KNOW, NOT KNOWING THAT
SOMEONE WAS GONNA HELP YOU AND
THEN SUDDENLY YOU HAVE ALL THIS
HELP?
>> RIGHT.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FAITH, ISN'T IT?
FAITH THAT IT'S GONNA GET PAID.
FAITH IN GOD.
AND IT'S JUST AMAZING.
>> IT'S INCREDIBLE.
>> John: YEAH, OF COURSE THEY'RE
INTO THIS SHIT.
FAITH?
STRANGERS?
COMING TOGETHER?
THROW IN A RUNAWAY DOG WHO FOUND
HIS OWNER IN THE HOSPITAL EVEN
THOUGH HE'D NEVER BEEN TO
THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'VE GOT
YOURSELF A SCHEDULE ONE LOCAL
NEWS THIRST TRAP.
AND HCSMs ARE DEFINITELY AN
ALTERNATIVE.
BUT AS YOU'VE PROBABLY GUESSED
BECAUSE YOU'RE LEARNING ABOUT
THEM ON THIS SHOW, AND NOT
"WHAT IF JOHN OLIVER WAS SOMEHOW
LESS ANGRY, LESS ENGLISH, AND
HAD JACK RYAN MONEY?"
THERE ARE ALSO SOME SIGNIFICANT
DRAWBACKS, WHICH, DEPENDING ON
THE COMPANY IN QUESTION,
CAN RANGE FROM THE DISQUIETING
TO THE DISQUALIFYING.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
HEALTH CARE SHARING MINISTRIES.
WHAT THEY ARE, WHAT THEY DO, AND
MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT THEY
DON'T DO, AND THE FIRST THING TO
KNOW IS, HCSMs HAVE ACTUALLY
EXISTED IN THE UNITED STATES FOR
DECADES, TRADITIONALLY SERVING
SMALL, INSULAR COMMUNITIES LIKE
MENNONITES AND THE AMISH.
HOWEVER, THE 2010 AFFORDABLE
CARE ACT INCLUDED A LOOPHOLE
THAT EXEMPTED UNINSURED PEOPLE
FROM PAYING THE TAX PENALTY IF
THEY WERE A MEMBER OF AN HCSM.
AND THAT WAS CLEARLY IMMEDIATELY
APPEALING TO ANYONE WHO WANTED
TO OPT O OF OBAMACARE.
IN FACT, SOME HCSMs,
LIKE LIBERTY HEALTHSHARE,
ONE OF THE BIGGEST MINISTRIES,
HAVE SPECIFICALLY TARGETED
A CONSERVATIVE AUDIENCE.
LIBERTY HAS RUN ADS ON THE
BLAZE, AND ALSO SPONSORED CPAC
-- IN FACT, REMEMBER THAT FAMOUS
MOMENT WHEN TRUMP MOLESTED
THE FLAG?
THE LIBERTY LOGO WAS AN
EYEWITNESS.
AND LIBERTY EVEN MADE ITS SALES
PITCH DIRECTLY TO THE CPAC
AUDIENCE DURING PANELS LIKE
THIS ONE.
>> IF YOU WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO
TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOU THINK
THEY DO A GREAT JOB DOING IT,
HEALTH SHARING IS NOT FOR YOU.
IF YOU WANNA STICK IT TO 'EM,
SIGN UP FOR LIBERTY
HEALTHSHARE.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> John: ON A LIST OF THE WORST
SOUNDS KNOWN TO MAN,
"SELF-SATISFIED CPAC LAUGHTER"
HAS TO BE RIGHT NEAR THE TOP,
BEAT ONLY BY "WEEPING KITTEN"
AND "MOTHER'S ORGASM."
NOW, THAT AFFORDABLE CARE ACT
LOOPHOLE DID TRY TO PUT SOME
LIMITS IN PLACE, TO KEEP THINGS
FROM GETTING OUT OF HAND.
IT STATED THAT YOUR MINISTRY --
OR, CRUCIALLY, A PREDECESSOR OF
IT, HAD TO HAVE BEEN IN
CONTINUOUS EXISTENCE SINCE 1999.
BUT THAT PREDECESSOR DETAIL
LEFT ROOM FOR EXPLOITATION.
BECAUSE NEW MINISTRIES SIMPLY
STARTED AFFILIATING THEMSELVES
WITH PREVIOUSLY-EXISTING
CHURCHES.
TAKE ONE CALLED
TRINITY HEALTHSHARE.
IT WAS FOUNDED IN 2018, WHICH IS
-- AND THIS IS TRUE -- AFTER
1999, BUT IT ARGUED THAT IT
STILL QUALIFIED, BECAUSE IT
"DERIVED ITS EXISTENCE FROM THE
BAPTIST CHURCH, WHICH HAS BEEN
IN EXISTENCE AND CONTINUALLY
SHARING SINCE THE 1600s."
WHICH IS OBVIOUS BULLSHIT.
IT'S LIKE ME CLAIMING THIS SHOW
HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 13 BILLION
YEARS BECAUSE THE BIG BANG WAS
ALSO A BRIGHT EXPANSE CONTAINING
EXTREMELY DENSE MATERIAL.
THAT'S JUST NOT HOW ANYTHING
WORKS.
SO A LOOPHOLE THAT WAS INTENDED
TO BE SMALL GOT PRETTY BIG --
AND EVEN BIGGER ONCE OBAMACARE'S
INDIVIDUAL MANDATE STOPPED BEING
ENFORCED DURING THE TRUMP YEARS.
AND THE RESULT OF ALL THIS WAS
THAT THE POPULARITY OF THESE
MINISTRIES EXPLODED, FROM AN
ESTIMATED 200,000 MEMBERS
A DECADE AGO, TO MORE THAN
A MILLION TODAY.
AND WHILE HCSMs WILL INSIST THEY
MAKE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT
THEY'RE NOT HEALTH INSURANCE,
MANY DO SEEM TO GO OUT OF THEIR
WAY TO MAKE THEMSELVES APPEAR
AS INSURANCE-LIKE AS POSSIBLE.
FOR A START, THEY'RE SOMETIMES
SOLD THROUGH INSURANCE BROKERS
-- ALONGSIDE ACTUAL INSURANCE
PLANS -- AND WHILE THE OBAMACARE
MARKETPLACE OFFERS PLANS IN
FOUR "METAL" CATEGORIES:
BRONZE, SILVER, GOLD, AND
PLATINUM.
A COMPANY CALLED ALTRUA OFFERED
PLANS IN GOLD, SILVER, BRONZE,
AND COPPER, REBRANDING THEM LAST
YEAR TO DIAMOND, EMERALD,
SAPPHIRE, AND RUBY.
ALTHOUGH IT'S STILL PRETTY CLEAR
WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO DO THERE
-- VERY MUCH BLUR THE LINE,
WHILE ALSO THROWING SOME UNFAIR
SHADE AT RUBY, THE OBJECTIVE
GOAT OF THE CARDINAL GEMS.
SHE'S RED, KNOWN FOR HER FLAWS,
AND RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MOST
ICONIC SLIPPERS IN THE HISTORY
OF CINEMA.
EAT YOUR FUCKING HEARTS OUT,
SAPPHIRE AND EMERALD, BECAUSE
YOU COULD LITERALLY NEVER.
BUT WHILE THESE HCSMs MAY HAVE
THE OPTICS OF INSURANCE, THERE
ARE SOME VERY IMPORTANT
DIFFERENCES.
FOR A START, THEY DON'T HAVE TO
ABIDE BY LAWS GOVERNING
INSURANCE PRODUCTS, MEANING
THERE'S NOTHING STOPPING THEM
FROM PLACING RESTRICTIONS ON
COVERAGE FOR PRE-EXISTING
CONDITIONS.
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO.
AND NOT ONLY THAT -- MANY WON'T
COVER SERVICES CONSIDERED
"ESSENTIAL" UNDER THE ACA,
LIKE TREATMENT FOR SUBSTANCE
ABUSE, OR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
IN FACT, ALTRUA EXCLUDES THOSE,
AND ALSO TREATMENT FOR OBESITY
OR AUTISM.
AND SAMARITAN'S "CLASSIC" PLAN
HAS A LIST OF NON-QUALIFIED
ITEMS INCLUDING "ROUTINE,
MAINTENANCE, STABILIZED,
PREVENTIVE, AND WELLNESS CARE"
-- THAT'S EVERYTHING FROM
REGULAR CHECKUPS TO
VACCINATIONS.
AND EVEN FOR ELIGIBLE EXPENSES,
THE MOST THAT CAN BE
SHARED FOR A GIVEN NEED IS
$250,000.
WHICH EXPLAINS THEIR FULL NAME,
"SAMARITAN, NOT THE GOOD ONE,
THOUGH -- JUST A RANDOM
SAMARITAN WHO MIGHT WELL LEAVE
YOU TO DIE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN
ABANDONED ROAD."
AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO
ONE OF THE BIGGEST EXCUSES HCSMs
CAN USE TO DENY COVERAGE, AND
THAT'S MORALITY.
BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU CAN BE
DENIED COVERAGE FOR BASICALLY
ANYTHING.
>> THIS IS A PROGRAM OF THE
CHRISTIAN CARE MINISTRY AND
PEOPLE WHO SMOKE OR SAME-SEX
COUPLES NEED NOT APPLY.
THE PROGRAM ALSO WON'T PAY FOR
ILLNESSES RELATED TO ALCOHOL,
ABORTION, OR OTHER
LIFESTYLE-RELATED CHOICES.
>> I NEED TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT
GONNA BE PAYING FOR SOMEONE ELSE
WHO'S DECIDED TO SIT ON THE
COUCH AND EAT BONBONS ALL DAY.
>> John: WOW, THAT IS HARSH.
BUT THAT JUDGMENTAL TONE IS VERY
MUCH IN LINE WITH HOW THESE
MINISTRIES OPERATE.
DO PEOPLE REALLY DESERVE
HEALTH CARE COVERAGE IF THEY
EAT JUNK FOOD OR DON'T EXERCISE
OR ARE GAY?
JUST FIX IT!
EAT A CARROT, GO FOR A RUN,
RUB YOUR PENIS OR VAGINA ON
SOMEBODY ELSE'S VAGINA OR PENIS,
RESPECTIVELY.
IT'S REALLY NOT DIFFICULT!
AND THIS IS A PATTERN ACROSS
HCSMs.
LIBERTY'S MATERIALS SAY THAT
AN APPLICANT MUST COMPLY WITH
A CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE.
AND AMONG THE EXCLUSIONS ON
SAMARITAN'S "CLASSIC" PROGRAM,
YOU'LL FIND THAT THEY MIGHT PAY
FOR TREATMENT FOR AN STD,
BUT NOT IF IT WAS CONTRACTED BY
SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE, AND
THAT THE MEMBER HAS TO EXPLAIN
HOW THE DISEASE WAS CONTRACTED.
PRESUMABLY, THE HOTTER THE
STORY, THE MORE MONEY YOU GET
FOR OINTMENTS.
VANILLA MISSIONARY SHIT ISN'T
GOING TO GET COVERED, BUD.
YOU BETTER HAVE GOTTEN GONORRHEA
FROM AN EARLOBE IF YOU WANT
SAMARITAN'S ATTENTION.
BUT SWEEPING MORAL JUDGMENT
ISN'T THE ONLY LEEWAY THESE
ORGANIZATIONS HAVE.
BECAUSE THEY'RE VOLUNTARY
ASSOCIATIONS, YOU HAVE NO
GUARANTEE THAT YOUR BILLS
WILL GET PAID.
ALTHOUGH, TO HEAR A FOUNDER OF
LIBERTY HEALTHSHARE TELL IT,
YOU'VE REALLY GOT NOTHING TO
WORRY ABOUT THERE.
JUST LISTEN TO HIM REASSURE
PEOPLE IN A VIDEO ON THEIR
WEBSITE TITLED, "WILL MY BILLS
BE PAID?"
>> WE'VE HAD A SUCCESSFUL
HISTORY OF SHARING MEDICAL BILLS
100%, FOR EVERY ELIGIBLE NEED
EVER SUBMITTED.
SO IT DOESN'T DEPEND UPON
A WRITTEN CONTRACT WHERE WE CAN
SUE EACH OTHER IF SOMEONE
DOESN'T SEND THEIR SHARE AMOUNT.
IT'S REALLY A CONTRACT WRITTEN
ON OUR HEARTS.
>> John: OH, RIGHT, IT'S A
CONTRACT WRITTEN ON YOUR HEARTS.
FIGURATIVELY, OF COURSE.
BECAUSE LITERALLY, IT'S NOT A
CONTRACT.
AND AS FOR HIS CLAIM THERE THAT
LIBERTY SUCCESSFULLY SHARED
100% OF MEDICAL BILLS "FOR EVERY
ELIGIBLE NEED" -- GIVEN,
AS WE'VE DISCUSSED, THEY CAN
DEEM ANY NEED INELIGIBLE FOR
ANY REASON, THAT PHRASE IS
ESSENTIALLY AS MEANINGLESS AS
THEIR CARDIAC NON-CONTRACT.
AND ON TOP OF ALL THIS, THERE'S
THE PRACTICAL MATTER OF HOW
EXACTLY YOU PAY FOR YOUR CARE
AS A MEMBER.
THE HCSM PROCESS TYPICALLY IS,
YOU'RE TOLD TO PRESENT YOURSELF
AS UNINSURED.
THEN, WHEN YOU GET YOUR BILL,
THE EXPECTATION IS THAT YOU
BARGAIN DOWN THE COST OF YOUR
CARE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN,
THEN PAY THE BILL YOURSELF,
THEN SUBMIT YOUR BILLS TO
THE MINISTRY FOR REIMBURSEMENT.
AND IF YOU'VE EVER WAITED FOR
YOUR FRIENDS TO VENMO YOU AFTER
PAYING FOR DINNER, YOU KNOW THAT
THE REIMBURSEMENT PROCESS CAN GO
VERY WRONG.
PARTICIPANTS IN LIBERTY --
YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE
"HEART CONTRACT" -- HAVE FOUND
PAYMENTS CAN BE SLOW TO
NONEXISTENT.
>> IN THE PAST THREE YEARS,
TIFFANY SCHULTZ WITH THE
WISCONSIN BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU
SAYS THE BBB HAS TAKEN MORE THAN
500 COMPLAINTS ABOUT LIBERTY
HEALTHSHARE, MANY WITH SIMILAR
STORIES.
ONE CLAIMING $90,000 IN
OUTSTANDING IN MEDICAL BILLS
THAT WERE PRE-APPROVED.
>> EITHER THE CONSUMER IS OUT
THE MONEY AND HASN'T BEEN
REIMBURSED, OR THEY'RE ENDING UP
GOING TO COLLECTIONS.
>> John: THAT'S NOT GREAT.
AND WHILE LIBERTY CLAIMS THAT
2019 WAS A PARTICULARLY
DIFFICULT YEAR, AND THAT THEY'RE
PROUD OF IMPROVEMENTS THEY'VE
MADE SINCE THEN, IT'S WORTH
NOTING THAT LIBERTY'S MEMBERS
STILL SEEM PRETTY ACTIVE ON
THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU
WEBSITE, WHERE THEY'VE LOGGED
304 COMPLAINTS IN THE LAST
12 MONTHS, WHICH IS A LOT,
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CONSIDER
THAT CIGNA -- A MASSIVE INSURER
-- HAS JUST HALF THAT AMOUNT,
WHILE HAVING 15 TIMES
THE MEMBERS.
AND IMAGINE HAVING MORE PEOPLE
COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU THAN ABOUT
CIGNA, A COMPANY WHOSE LOGO IS A
CARTOON MAN STANDING IN A FIELD
AS HIS HEAD EXPLODES FROM
DEALING WITH THEIR CUSTOMER
SERVICE.
AND UNFORTUNATELY, IN MOST
STATES, A COMPLAINT TO THE
BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU IS
BASICALLY ALL THE RECOURSE
YOU HAVE.
AND THESE MINISTRIES HAVE WORKED
VERY HARD TO KEEP ACCOUNTABILITY
AT BAY, SUCCESSFULLY LOBBYING
FOR SO-CALLED "SAFE HARBOR LAWS"
IN MORE THAN 30 STATES, ENSURING
THEY CAN OPERATE SAFELY OUTSIDE
OF INSURANCE REGULATIONS.
AND TO SEE JUST HOW MUCH YOU CAN
GET AWAY WITH, IT'S WORTH
LOOKING AT A COMPANY CALLED
ALIERA, WHICH HAS BEEN HEAVILY
INVOLVED WITH A NUMBER OF
HEALTH-SHARING MINISTRIES OVER
THE YEARS -- FIRST, ONE CALLED
UNITY, THEN ONE CALLED TRINITY,
WHICH NOW GOES BY SHARITY.
ALTHOUGH THOSE NAMES SOUND LESS
LIKE HEALTH CARE ORGANIZATIONS
AND MORE LIKE CHARACTERS IN A
RELIGIOUS-THEMED CAPTAIN PLANET
KNOCKOFF -- WHEN THEIR POWERS
COMBINE, THEY GET CANCELED AFTER
TWO EPISODES.
ALIERA PRESENTS ITSELF AS MERELY
AN ADMINISTRATOR FOR HCSMs,
BUT IT'S INTRICATELY CONNECTED
TO THE ONES IT WORKS WITH, AND
VERY MUCH BY DESIGN.
JUST SIX WEEKS AFTER TRINITY WAS
INCORPORATED, IT SIGNED A DEAL
WITH ALIERA STIPULATING THAT
ALIERA WOULD HAVE EXCLUSIVE
OWNERSHIP RIGHTS TO THE
MEMBERSHIP ROSTER, AND WAS
THE SOLE PARTY DEVELOPING AND
MARKETING THE PLANS INCLUDING
THE HCSM COMPONENT.
SO ALIERA'S RELATIONSHIP WITH
TRINITY IS BASICALLY THIS GUY'S
RELATIONSHIP TO HIS ALIEN
COSTUME.
HE CAN CLAIM THAT HE ISN'T
TECHNICALLY THE COSTUME,
AND THAT'S TRUE.
BUT THE COSTUME DOESN'T REALLY
DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HIM.
AND CUSTOMERS IN MULTIPLE STATES
HAVE CLAIMED THAT ALIERA AND ITS
MINISTRIES HAVE BEEN RUTHLESS
IN DENYING COVERAGE, WIELDING
"MORALITY CLAUSES" HARD.
WHEN ONE MEMBER WAS ATTACKED AND
KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS OUTSIDE A
BAR AND TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL
WITH SERIOUS INJURIES, INCLUDING
A SKULL FRACTURE, CERVICAL SPINE
FRACTURE, AND INTERCRANIAL
BLEEDING, ALIERA DENIED HER
CLAIMS, STATING HER INJURIES
WERE "SELF-INFLICTED," AND
CITING THEIR GUIDELINES,
INCLUDING THE LINE, "FOLLOW
SPIRITUAL TEACHINGS ON THE USE
OR ABUSE OF ALCOHOL" WHICH IS,
I'M PRETTY SURE IS THE
BENEVOLENT ADVICE
JESUS WOULD HAVE GIVEN
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
AND INCREDIBLY, THAT'S NOT EVEN
THE WORST STORY OF A REJECTED
CLAIM INVOLVING ALIERA.
>> 10-YEAR-OLD LOLA GRACE SEGARS
IS HEALTHY JUST FOUR MONTHS
AFTER BRAIN SURGERY.
ON SEPTEMBER 11TH, SHE WAS
RUSHED FROM THE LOCAL E.R. IN
GREENE COUNTY BY AMBULANCE TO
CHILDREN'S HEALTH CARE
SCOTTISH RITE, WHERE DOCTORS
REMOVED A SOFTBALL-SIZED
BRAIN TUMOR.
>> IT WAS JUST AMAZING,
THE CARE.
>> BUT LAST WEEK CAME THE BILL
FROM THEIR HEALTH PLAN, ALIERA
COMPANIES.
>> $325,624.
>> ALIERA SAYS CHILDREN'S IS OUT
OF NETWORK AND WON'T PAY THE
$325,000 BILL.
>> WE HAD A LIFE-THREATENING
EMERGENCY.
THEY FAILED US AND HER.
>> John: HOLY SHIT.
THEY WERE DENIED REIMBURSEMENT
FOR A CHILD WHO HAD
A SOFTBALL-SIZED TUMOR REMOVED
FROM HER BRAIN, WHICH IS,
INCIDENTALLY, EXACTLY THE KIND
OF IMMORAL BEHAVIOR I'D EXPECT
SHARING MINISTRIES TO CLASSIFY
AS FUCKING DISQUALIFYING.
NOW, ALIERA CLAIMS THAT FAMILY'S
ISSUES WERE ULTIMATELY RESOLVED,
BUT ONLY AFTER THAT STORY
WAS FEATURED ON THE NEWS.
AND IT SHOWS JUST HOW LITTLE
RECOURSE YOU HAVE, THAT IF YOU
DON'T HAVE A CHILD YOU CAN GET
ON TV TO SHAME THE COMPANY INTO
ACTION, YOU COULD BE SHIT OUT OF
LUCK.
AND LOOK, TRADITIONAL INSURANCE
COMPANIES ALSO HAVE THEIR SHARE
OF HORROR STORIES WHEN IT COMES
TO DENIAL OF COVERAGE.
BUT THERE ARE IMPORTANT
DIFFERENCES HERE -- NOT JUST IN
THE LEVEL OF PROTECTION YOU HAVE
WHEN THAT HAPPENS, BUT IN THE
DEGREE OF FINANCIAL
ACCOUNTABILITY.
BECAUSE WHILE THE ACA REQUIRES
ACTUAL HEALTH INSURERS TO SPEND
NO MORE THAN 20% OF MONEY ON
ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS, THEREFORE
LEAVING AT LEAST 80% FOR CARE,
THERE'S NO SUCH REQUIREMENT FOR
HCSMs.
AND YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL WHERE
THIS IS GOING.
BECAUSE INVESTIGATIONS HAVE
FOUND THAT OUT OF EVERY $100
A TRINITY MEMBER PAID IN
PREMIUMS, ONLY $16 WENT TOWARDS
PAYING MEDICAL EXPENSES,
WITH THE REST BEING KICKED UP TO
ALIERA.
AND PAYING OUT 16% OF THE MONEY
YOU TAKE IN FOR COVERAGE IS
A LOT DIFFERENT THAN PAYING OUT
80.
BECAUSE 80% MAKES YOU THINK,
"WAIT, WHY EXACTLY DO WE HAVE
INSURANCE COMPANIES?"
WHEREAS 16 MAKES YOU THINK,
"IS A CRIME HAPPENING TO ME
RIGHT NOW, AND IF SO, WHY DOES
EVERYONE SEEM OKAY WITH IT?"
AND WHEN A LOCAL NEWS REPORTER
CAUGHT UP WITH THE HEAD OF
ALIERA TO ASK HER ABOUT ITS
RELUCTANCE TO PAY OUT CLAIMS,
HER RESPONSE WAS NOT
PARTICULARLY REASSURING.
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY APOLOGIES
TO THE MEMBERS WHO BELIEVE THEIR
CLAIMS OUGHT TO BE PAID AND
THEY'RE NOT PAID?
>> OH, MY GOODNESS.
WE'RE NOT -- WE'RE NOT A HEALTH
-- WE'RE NOT A
HEALTH CARE-SHARING MINISTRY,
MR. STRICKLAND.
WE ONLY ADMINISTER ON BEHALF
OF THE -- OF THE MINISTRIES.
I CAN'T HELP YOU ANY FURTHER.
I NEED TO GET OUT OF TOWN.
>> John: OKAY, IT'S NEVER A
GOOD SIGN WHEN A CEO HAS TO END
AN INTERVIEW LIKE THAT.
"AS I'VE SAID BEFORE, OUR
COMPANY HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING
ILLEGAL.
NOW HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN IN
A BLUE FEDORA?
HE'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME A NEW
IDENTITY AS I GET PULLED INTO
A HELICOPTER THAT'S ALREADY
TAKING OFF.
TELL MY DAUGHTER I LOVED HER AND
MY HUSBAND I DIDN'T!
I'M OUT!"
NOW I SHOULD SAY, OTHER SHARING
MINISTRIES HAVE TRIED TO
DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM ALIERA,
CLAIMING THAT, "THIS SORT OF
DECEPTION IS NOT PART OF
LEGITIMATE, AUTHENTIC HEALTH
CARE SHARING MINISTRIES."
AND ALIERA IS DEFINITELY BAD.
BUT ONE THING INSURANCE
COMMISSIONERS HAVE REPEATEDLY
TOLD US IN RESEARCHING THIS
PIECE IS HOW LITTLE TRANSPARENCY
THERE IS INTO HOW THESE
MINISTRIES OPERATE, AND JUST HOW
WARY THEY THINK PEOPLE SHOULD BE
OF ALL OF THEM.
AND LOOK, BROADLY, WE HAVE TO
DO MORE IN THIS COUNTRY TO
REDUCE THE COST OF HEALTH CARE
-- PERSONALLY, I'D ARGUE
SWITCHING TO A SINGLE-PAYER
SYSTEM WOULD REMOVE A LOT OF
THESE PROBLEMS INSTANTLY,
BUT THAT CLEARLY ISN'T HAPPENING
ANYTIME SOON.
SO IN THE MEANTIME, I DO GET
THE APPEAL OF LOWER-COST
HEALTH INSURANCE.
THE PROBLEM IS, THIS ISN'T THAT.
IT'S NOT INSURANCE AT ALL.
AND STATES NEED, AT THE VERY
LEAST, TO PASS LAWS TO MAKE SURE
PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GETTING
INTO WITH HCSMs, AND TO FORCE
THEM TO ALLOCATE FUNDS PROPERLY.
THE PROBLEM IS, SOME ARE GOING
IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
TAKE FLORIDA.
IN 2018, AFTER INTENSE LOBBYING,
IT LOOSENED ITS RESTRICTIONS ON
HCSMs EVEN FURTHER, GOING FROM
REQUIRING PARTICIPANTS BE
"MEMBERS OF THE SAME RELIGION,"
TO MERELY REQUIRING THEY
"SHARE A COMMON SET OF ETHICAL
OR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS."
AND THAT COULD BE BASICALLY
ANYTHING.
AT THIS POINT, THE BAR TO ENTRY
IS SO LOW, JUST ABOUT ANYONE CAN
BECOME AN HCSM.
AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS,
THIS ANYONE DID.
YOU MAY REMEMBER, BACK IN 2015,
WE FOUNDED A CHURCH, OUR LADY
OF PERPETUAL EXEMPTION, TO
DEMONSTRATE THAT TAX EXEMPTIONS
FOR CHURCHES ENABLED SOME OF
THEM TO DO TERRIBLE THINGS.
WELL, JUST THREE MONTHS AGO,
WE OFFICIALLY FOUNDED A SPINOFF
CHURCH CALLED "OUR LADY OF
PERPETUAL HEALTH."
AND WE FOUNDED IT -- WHERE ELSE?
-- BUT FLORIDA.
I'M HAPPY TO TELL YOU, THAT
CHURCH NOW HAS ITS OWN HEALTH
CARE SHARING MINISTRY,
"JOHNNYCARE."
AND THE WHOLE THING WAS SCARILY
EASY TO DO.
SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
PLEASE JOIN ME, MY MOST BLESSED
CONGREGANTS, AT CHURCH.
AND YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T RUN
AN ORGANIZATION AS IMPORTANT
AS THIS MINISTRY ALL BY MYSELF.
SO PLEASE WELCOME, LIVE FROM
JOHNNYCARE HEADQUARTERS IN SUNNY
FLORIDA, THE FELICITY HUFFMAN TO
MY WILLIAM H. MACY, MY DEAR WIFE
AND BUSINESS PARTNER, WANDA JO.
PRAISE BE TO YOU, MY WANDA.
>> PRAISE BE TO YOU, MY JOHN,
AND PRAISE BE TO THE BLESSED
STATE WHERE MINIMALLY
REGULATED INSURANCE KNOCKOFFS GO
TO BE BORN.
AND RETIRED PEOPLE GO TO DIE.
>> John: AMEN TO THAT.
>> I HAVE HEARD THE WORD OF THE
LORD, MY JOHN.
>> John: AND WHAT DID IT SAY,
MY WANDA?
>> IT SAID THOU MUST FREE ITSELF
FROM THE OVERREACHING GRASP OF
GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE.
STICK IT TO THEM!
>> J>> John: STICK IT TO THEM!
NOW WANDA, WE ARE RUNNING THE
MINISTRY AS A CHURCH EVEN THOUGH
IN FLORIDA, WE ACTUALLY DON'T
HAVE TO BE.
>> AMEN, PRAISE FLORIDA.
>> John: BUT WE DO NEED TO
FILL THE REQUIREMENT THAT OUR
MINISTRY PROVIDE FOR THE
FINANCIAL OR MEDICAL NEEDS OF
PARTICIPANTS FROM CONTRIBUTIONS
FROM OTHER PARTICIPANTS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE HAVE DONE
THAT THROUGH OUR SPECIAL
JOHNNYCARE FIRST AID KIT
CONTAINING NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT
THREE BAND-AIDS.
IT SCREAMS THE CHEAPEST OPTION
THAT WE COULD FIND.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, MY WANDA?
>> WHAT, MY JOHN?
>> John: IT WAS.
>> WHY THREE BAND-AIDS?
WE KNOW THAT, ALAS, SOMETIMES,
ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.
BUT IF THEY HAPPEN MORE THAN
THREE TIMES, IT JUST STOPS BEING
OUR PROBLEM.
>> John: AND LET ME BE CLEAR,
WHEN YOU SIGN UP FOR MEMBERSHIP,
YOU ARE NOT PAYING FOR YOUR OWN
FIRST AID KIT.
YOU ARE PAYING FOR SOMEONE
ELSE'S, AND THEY ARE PAYING FOR
YOURS.
>> AND THAT GIVES YOU FREEDOM
FROM INSURANCE!
AND US FREEDOM FROM
RESPONSIBILITY.
>> John: AND BEYOND THAT, IT'S
A VERY SIMPLE SYSTEM.
IF YOU NEED MEDICAL CARE, YOU GO
TO THE DOCTOR, YOU RECEIVE IT,
YOU REQUEST A BILL, AND THEN YOU
PAY THAT BILL ON YOUR OWN.
>> LEAVE US OUT OF IT.
[LAUGHS]
>> John: OH, YEAH, BECAUSE IF
YOU SUBMIT THAT BILL TO US, WE
ARE GOING TO REJECT IT.
>> VERNON HIS LIPS TO GOD'S
BIGGER LIPS IN THE SKY!
>> John: TESTIFY!
EITHER BECAUSE YOU ENGAGE IN
THIS AND OF BEYOND THE BONDS OF
MATRIMONY --
>> YOU WHORING.
>> John: OR YOU SPENT THE DAY
SITTING ON THE COUCH EATING
BONBONS >> OR MASTUBATED EVER.
>> John: NO CONTRACTS EVER,
EXCEPT FOR THE ONES THAT ARE IN
OUR HEARTS.
♪ ♪
NOW YOU CAN BECOME A MEMBER OF
OUR JOHNNYCARE MINISTRY FOR JUST
$1.99, AND WE ARE LIMITING
MEMBERSHIP TO 5,000 OF YOU IN
FLORIDA, NOT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO,
BUT BECAUSE THAT IS THE NUMBER
OF FIRST AID KIT THAT WE BOUGHT.
SO GO TO FREEDOM FROM
HEALTH CARE.ORG AND SEE IF YOU
QUALIFY TO SEND US MONEY AND GET
ALMOST NOTHING IN RETURN.
>> IS CLOSE TO NOTHING AS WE
COULD GET AWAY WITH.
>> John: AND TO BE CLEAR, WE
SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET WITH
ANY OF THIS!
THANK YOU TO WANDA JO, WHO, IF
HISTORY IS ANY INDICATION, WILL
DISAPPEAR FOR THREE YEARS AND
ULTIMATELY RE-ANSWER IN A
CANADIAN MOHEGAN SUN ANSWERING
TO DEB.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY WANDA.
>> I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY JOHN.
>> John: VISIT
FreedomFromHealthCare.org TO
LEARN HOW YOU CAN STICK IT TO
THEM!
>> STICK IT TO THEM!
>> John: THAT IS OUR SHOW,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING,
GOOD NIGHT!
BYE-BYE, MY WANDA.
>> BYE-BYE, MY JOHN!
>> John: STICK IT TO THEM!
PRAISE BAND-AIDS!
>> PRAISE BAND-AIDS!
>> John: BAND-AIDS BE UPON US