>> WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT."
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
AND LOOK, IT HAS BEEN A TRULY
TERRIBLE WEEK, ONE THAT STARTED
WITH TWO JARED LETOS AT THE MET
GALA, AND THEN SOMEHOW MANAGED
TO GET WORSE FROM THERE, TO THE
POINT WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DO
SOMETHING UNUSUAL RIGHT NOW, AND
THAT IS, TWO MAIN STORIES.
AND OUR FIRST MAIN STORY TONIGHT
CONCERNS THE FACT THAT THIS WEEK
SAW THE LEAK OF A DRAFT OPINION
WRITTEN BY JUSTICE SAMUEL ALITO
THAT LOOKS SET TO STRIKE DOWN
ROE V. WADE.
AND WHILE THE FATE OF ROE MAY
NOT HAVE BEEN A SURPRISE, THE
DRAFT ITSELF WAS STILL A HORROR
SHOW.
>> THE 67-PAGE DRAFT OPINION IS
CLEAR, SHARP, AND SCORNFUL,
DECLARING IN ITS OPENING
PARAGRAPHS THAT ROE VERSUS WADE
"MUST BE OVERRULED" AND THAT THE
1972 RULING "WAS EGREGIOUSLY
WRONG FROM THE START."
ALITO DISMISSES THE ARGUMENT IN
ROE VERSUS WADE THAT THE RIGHT
TO CHOOSE ABORTION IS PART OF
THE CONSTITUTIONAL GUARANTEE
OF LIBERTY AND PRIVACY,
INSISTING "THE INESCAPABLE
CONCLUSION IS THAT THE
RIGHT TO ABORTION IS NOT DEEPLY
ROOTED IN THE NATION'S HISTORY
AND TRADITIONS."
>> OKAY, BUT EVEN IF THAT
WERE TRUE, WHICH, BY THE WAY,
FUCK OFF, THE FRAMERS PROBABLY
LEFT OFF THE SPECIFIC RIGHT TO
ABORTION BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T
ANTICIPATE IT BEING SUCH A
MASSIVE CONCERN.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THESE
PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS DIDN'T
HAVE ABORTION ON THEIR MINDS,
THERE MUST BE SOME EXPLANATION.
I JUST CAN'T QUITE PLACE THE
EXACT REASON, BUT IT'S ON THE
TIP OF MY PENIS.
AND LOOK, ALITO WASN'T JUST
DEFERRING TO THE CONSTITUTION,
HE REPEATEDLY CITED SOME OTHER
NOTABLE SOURCES, TOO, LIKE 17th
CENTURY JURIST SIR MATTHEW HALE
WHO ONCE DESCRIBED ABORTION AS A
"GREAT CRIME."
BUT THAT IS NOT ALL THAT HALE
THOUGHT -- HE ALSO ARGUED THAT
A HUSBAND CANNOT BE GUILTY OF A
RAPE COMMITTED UPON HIS WIFE,
SENTENCED TWO WOMEN TO DEATH FOR
WITCHCRAFT, AND ARGUED YOUNG
WOMEN WERE THE RUIN OF FAMILIES,
BECAUSE THEY, AND, I QUOTE,
"LEARN TO BE BOLD" AND "TALK
LOUD."
AND WHILE THOSE BELIEFS MIGHT
EARN YOU A NETFLIX COMEDY
SPECIAL CALLED, "TRIGGER THIS"
THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTELY
DISQUALIFY YOU AS A SCHOLARLY
REFERENCE ON THE MATTER OF
REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS.
AND LOOK, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST
TIME WE'VE TALKED ABOUT ABORTION
ON THIS SHOW.
IN FACT, THE FIRST TIME WE
TALKED ABOUT IT IN DEPTH, WE
REWARDED ANYONE FOR STICKING TO
THE END OF THE STORY WITH A
VIDEO OF SLOTHS PLAYING IN A
BUCKET THAT WAS ALMOST
CRIMINALLY JOYFUL.
AND IF YOU'RE EXPECTING
SOMETHING SIMILAR THIS TIME
AROUND, I'VE GOT BAD NEWS FOR
YOU, THOSE SLOTHS ARE DEAD NOW.
ALL OF THEM, TWO FROM HEROIN.
IT'S TIME TO GROW UP.
BECAUSE WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO
TALK ABOUT ABORTION LIKE ADULTS.
BECAUSE WHEN, AS SEEMS
INEVITABLE, THIS RULING BECOMES
OFFICIAL, THERE WILL BE
IMMEDIATE AND DEVASTATING
CONSEQUENCES.
AND IT'S WORTH TAKING SOME TIME
TONIGHT TO TALK ABOUT A FEW
WHAT THIS RULING MEANS,
HOW WE GOT TO THIS POINT, AND
WHERE WE GO NOW.
AND WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT THIS
MEANS, IT'S CATASTROPHIC.
IT'LL QUICKLY TRIGGER BANS ON
ABORTION IN THESE 22 STATES.
AND IF YOU ARE STILL UNAWARE OF
JUST HOW UBIQUITOUS A PROCEDURE
THIS IS, AN ESTIMATED 25% OF
WOMEN HAVE AN ABORTION, AND
6 IN 10 OF THEM ARE ALREADY
PARENTS.
SOME WHO GET ABORTIONS ARE
SURVIVORS OF RAPE OR INCEST,
OTHERS MIGHT NEED ONE FOR
MEDICAL REASONS, BUT ALSO, JUST
SOME WILL BE
SEEKING AN ABORTION BECAUSE THEY
FUCKING WANT ONE.
AND THIS IS VERY MUCH ABOUT
THEM, TOO.
THIS A FIGHT FOR PEOPLE'S RIGHT
TO HAVE CONTROL OVER THEIR
BODIES.
IT'S ABOUT BODILY AUTONOMY.
AND THE ONLY TIME IT'S OKAY TO
ARGUE AGAINST THAT IS IF THE
BODY IN QUESTION BELONGS TO
ELMO.
BECAUSE THEN, IT IS ACTUALLY
FINE.
HE LITERALLY CAN'T FUNCTION
UNLESS SOMEONE ELSE IS
ARM-FUCKING HIM FROM BELOW.
BUT ANYTHING BEYOND THAT EXAMPLE
IS JUST NOT OKAY.
AND SOME CONSERVATIVES HAVE
ARGUED THAT THE REACTION THIS
WEEK HAS BEEN HYSTERICAL -- THAT
THIS IS JUST RETURNING THE ISSUE
TO THE STATES, AND THAT PEOPLE
DO STILL HAVE A CHOICE.
>> THIS IS NOT AN OPINION,
BY THE WAY, THAT IS GOING TO
UNDO ABORTION IN THIS COUNTRY.
STATES MAY PUT SOME MORE
RESTRICTIONS ON IT, BUT PEOPLE
HAVE THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
THEY CAN GO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE
WHERE IT'S MORE OF A FREE FOR
ALL AND THEY CAN DO WHATEVER
THEY WANT.
>> OKAY, FIRST, "WHERE
IT'S MORE OF A FREE-FOR-ALL?"
LET'S JUST GET ONE THING
STRAIGHT.
IF YOU MOVE TO DELAWARE, YOU'RE
NOT IN SOME BACCHANALIAN,
BUY-ONE-GET-ONE-FREE ABORTION
PARADISE.
YOU'RE JUST IN WILMINGTON.
I JUST DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE
DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY VISIT.
BUT ALSO, IT'S NOT ABOUT MERELY
HAVING THE RIGHT TO GO
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
IT'S ABOUT WHETHER YOU HAVE THE
RESOURCES AND ABILITY TO DO
THAT.
AND MANY MAY NOT, WITH THIS
DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTING
THOSE WITH DISABILITIES, OR WHO
ARE TRANSGENDER, IMMIGRANTS, OR
PEOPLE OF COLOR.
AND THE THING IS, EVEN WITH JUST
THE EXISTING LAWS THAT HAVE BEEN
RECENTLY PASSED, ABORTIONS HAD
BECOME INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT TO
GET.
JUST WATCH AS ONE WOMAN
IN TEXAS LEARNED WHAT GETTING AN
ABORTION WOULD ENTAIL FOR HER
AFTER HER STATE PASSED ITS
SO-CALLED "FETAL HEARTBEAT" LAW
LAST YEAR.
>> YOU'RE MEASURING AT 6.1 WEEKS
TODAY, BUT WE DO SEE FETAL
CARDIAC ACTIVITY ON ULTRASOUND.
SO, AS OF SEPTEMBER 1st IN
TEXAS, WHAT THAT MEANS IS THAT
YOU ARE INELIGIBLE TO HAVE AN
ABORTION IN THE STATE OF TEXAS
RIGHT NOW.
YOUR NEXT OPTIONS WOULD BE
TRAVELING OUT OF STATE TO GET
THE PROCEDURE DONE.
>> I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT I WAS
PREGNANT.
I KIND OF JUST TOOK A TEST.
I'M SIX WEEKS AND ONE DAY
PREGNANT.
I'M NOT READY TO HAVE ANOTHER
KID.
I HAVE TWO OTHER LITTLE ONES
THAT I TAKE CARE OF, BY MYSELF.
SO THIS KIND OF WAS VERY
UNEXPECTED.
OTHER FORMS OF BIRTH CONTROL
FAILED ME, AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE
I'M JUMPING THROUGH MORE HOOPS
IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR LIVES
GOING.
>> SIX WEEKS AND A DAY,
AND SHE CAN'T GET AN ABORTION.
FOR MOST PEOPLE, THAT'S A PERIOD
THAT IS TWO WEEKS LATE.
AND YOUR PERIOD COULD BE TWO
WEEKS LATE FOR ANY NUMBER OF
MAYBE YOU'RE TIRED, OR
TRAVELING, OR HAD A CHANGE IN
DIET OR EXERCISE, OR MAYBE
YOU'RE JUST DEALING WITH THE
STRESS OF LIVING IN A
MISOGYNISTIC
THEOCRACY RUN BY FIVE OF THE
BIGGEST WEIRDOS IN THE COUNTRY,
INCLUDING JUSTICE BEER PONG
HERE, AND JUSTICE "MY WIFE
HELPED PLAN A COUP AND ALL I GOT
WAS NO CONSEQUENCES WHATSOEVER."
NOW, IN THAT WOMAN'S
PARTICULAR CASE, SHE WAS ABLE TO
TAKE A LOAN AND DRIVE ALL THE
WAY TO OKLAHOMA TO GET AN
ABORTION.
AND AS AWFUL AS THIS SOUNDS, SHE
WAS ACTUALLY LUCKY, BECAUSE NOW,
THAT IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE.
JUST THIS WEEK, OKLAHOMA'S
GOVERNOR SIGNED A TEXAS-STYLE
ABORTION BAN INTO LAW, WHICH IS
NOW OFFICIALLY ONE OF THE WORST
THINGS THAT OKLAHOMA HAS EVER
PRODUCED, AND I'LL REMIND YOU,
IT ALSO GAVE THE WORLD
DR. FUCKING PHIL.
GIVEN THAT HALF OF THOSE WHO
HAVE ABORTIONS ARE BELOW THE
POVERTY LINE, WITH AN ADDITIONAL
1/4 VERY CLOSE TO IT, MANY WILL
BE FACING LIMITED OPTIONS.
ONE ESTIMATE IS THAT, IN THE
YEAR AFTER THE RULING, THERE
WILL BE ROUGHLY 75,000 PEOPLE
WHO WANT, BUT CAN'T GET,
ABORTIONS, AND WILL GIVE BIRTH
INSTEAD.
AND INEVITABLY, SOME OF THOSE
PEOPLE WILL DIE, BECAUSE
PREGNANCY IS A MAJOR MEDICAL
EVENT.
ALREADY, THOSE LIVING IN STATES
WITH THE MOST RESTRICTIVE
ABORTION POLICIES -- AND THUS
THE LEAST ACCESS TO THEM -- WERE
FOUND TO BE MORE LIKELY TO DIE
WHILE PREGNANT OR SHORTLY
THEREAFTER.
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS ALL
EXTREMELY GRIM.
BUT IT IS NOW WORTH TAKING A
MOMENT ON EXACTLY HOW WE GOT TO
THIS POINT, ESPECIALLY AS SOME
HAVE BEEN TELLING A SLIGHTLY
INCOMPLETE STORY THIS WEEK.
JUST LISTEN TO CHUCK SCHUMER,
POINTING THE FINGER OF BLAME
FIRMLY IN ONE DIRECTION.
>> THIS ISN'T YOUR GRANDFATHER'S
REPUBLICAN PARTY, AMERICA.
IT'S DONALD TRUMP'S REPUBLICAN
PARTY.
>> WELL, HOLD ON THERE.
BECAUSE IN WHAT WAY IS THIS NOT
YOUR GRANDFATHER'S REPUBLICAN
PARTY?
IT HAS BEEN ADVOCATING FOR
THIS EXACT OUTCOME FOR DECADES
NOW.
IN FACT, I WOULD BE WILLING TO
BET THAT IF YOUR GRANDFATHER
DIED IN THE '70s, CAME BACK TO
LIFE RIGHT NOW, AND SCANNED THE
NEWS, THE FIRST THING HE'D SAY
IS THAT THE CURRENT REPUBLICAN
PARTY SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE
ONE HE REMEMBERS.
ACTUALLY, THE FIRST THING
HE'D SAY IS, "WHO'S ELON MUSK?"
TO WHICH YOU'D SAY, "HE'S A RICH
ASSHOLE WHO WANTS TO OWN
TWITTER."
TO WHICH HE'D SAY, "WHAT'S
TWITTER?"
AND YOU'D SAY, "IT'S BASICALLY A
MASSIVE PUBLIC TOILET THAT
PEOPLE SHIT THEIR BAD OPINIONS
INTO ALL DAY LONG, BUT AT
LEAST CHER IS ON THERE TOO!"
TO WHICH HE'D REPLY, "YOU MEAN
SONNY'S WIFE?"
AND YOU'D SAY, "YEAH" BECAUSE
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO FILL HIM
IN ON THE DIVORCE, MUCH LESS THE
ACCIDENT, TO WHICH HE'D SAY,
"HOW'S SONNY DOING, BY THE WAY?"
TO WHICH YOU'D SAY, "OH, HE'S
GREAT, HE'S VERY HEALTHY!"
TO WHICH HE'D REPLY, "DOES HE
STILL HAVE THE MUSTACHE?"
AND YOU'D SAY, "OH, YOU BETCHA!"
BECAUSE AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE
WAY TOO DEEP INTO THE LIE TO
ADMIT TO YOUR RESURRECTED
GRANDPA THAT SONNY BONO DIED BY
SKIING INTO A TREE.
BUT THEN, AFTER ALL THAT, HE'D
DEFINITELY LOOK AT YOU AND SAY
THAT THE CURRENT REPUBLICAN
PARTY SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE
ONE THAT HE REMEMBERS.
BECAUSE IT DOES.
THIS IS JUST NOT A RECENT
DEVELOPMENT AT ALL.
BECAUSE WHILE, YES, TRUMP DID
PICK 1/3 OF THIS COURT,
INCLUDING A SEAT FOR GORSUCH
THAT WAS STOLEN FOR HIM, THAT
WAS THE RESULT OF DECADES OF
WORK BY ANTIABORTION FORCES.
LONG BEFORE TRUMP EVER EVEN
CONSIDERED RUNNING FOR OFFICE,
CONSERVATIVES WERE OPENLY
ANNOUNCING THEIR INTENTION TO
OVERTURN ROE.
IN FACT, THE VERY DAY THE ROE
DECISION WAS HANDED DOWN, THE
STRATEGIZING AGAINST IT HAD
ALREADY BEGUN.
JUST WATCH THIS NEWS REPORT FROM
THAT DAY, FEATURING A LAWYER
TALKING ABOUT A LAWSUIT HE WAS
SUPPORTING THAT COULD OVERTURN
ROE.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD'S RIGHT?
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT
THE WOMAN'S RIGHT, YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT 1/3 OF THE
RIGHTS INVOLVED.
THE MOTHER, THE FATHER, AND
THE CHILD.
SOMEBODY'S MORALITY, OR LACK
OF IT, IS CERTAINLY IMPOSED UPON
THE UNBORN CHILDREN WHO ARE
KILLED.
>> WOW.
WOMEN HAVE 1/3 OF THE RIGHTS
INVOLVED.
HONESTLY, THAT IS KIND OF
PERFECT.
BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING WE
LOVE TO DO IN AMERICA, IT'S TURN
EVERYONE WHO ISN'T A STRAIGHT
WHITE MAN INTO A FUCKING
FRACTION.
THAT IS SOMETHING THAT TRULY IS
"DEEPLY ROOTED IN THE NATION'S
HISTORY AND TRADITIONS."
BUT ARGUMENTS LIKE THAT ARE WHY
SOME DEMOCRATS, LIKE
REPRESENTATIVE BELLA ABZUG,
ARGUED IN THE WAKE OF THE ROE
DECISION THAT CONGRESS STILL
NEEDED TO QUICKLY PASS
LEGISLATION CODIFYING THE RIGHT
TO AN ABORTION.
AND SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
BUT, OF COURSE, THEY DIDN'T DO
THAT.
NOR DID THEY DO IT AS THE
ANTIABORTION MOVEMENT KICKED
INTO HIGH GEAR IN THE LATE
1970s, WITH THE SUPPORT OF
EVANGELICAL LEADERS LIKE
JERRY FALWELL, WHO HELPED
ELEVATE THE ABORTION ISSUE AS A
WAY OF MOTIVATING CONSERVATIVE
VOTERS TO THE POLLS.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IT AS
ANTIABORTION LEGISLATORS MANAGED
TO PASS A THOUSAND RESTRICTIONS
INTO LAW AT THE STATE LEVEL.
ALL THAT TIME, TOO MANY
DEMOCRATIC LEADERS SHIED AWAY
FROM ENGAGING IN THAT FIGHT, OR
WERE SQUEAMISH IN THEIR DEFENSE
OF ABORTION.
BILL CLINTON, FOR INSTANCE,
ARGUED THAT IT SHOULD BE "SAFE,
LEGAL AND RARE," WHICH CAST
ABORTION AS A REGRETTABLY
NECESSARY EVIL, NOT A
CORNERSTONE OF COMPREHENSIVE
HEALTH CARE.
AND WHILE LATER, BARACK OBAMA
CAMPAIGNED ON PASSING
THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE ACT,
ENSHRINING THE RIGHT TO ABORTION
INTO LAW, WHEN HE WAS REMINDED
OF THAT PROMISE A HUNDRED DAYS
INTO HIS PRESIDENCY, HE WASTED
NO TIME DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM
IT.
>> THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE ACT IS
NOT MY HIGHEST LEGISLATIVE
PRIORITY.
I BELIEVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD HAVE
THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE.
BUT I THINK THAT THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING WE CAN DO
TO TAMP DOWN SOME OF THE ANGER
SURROUNDING THIS ISSUE IS TO
FOCUS ON THOSE AREAS THAT WE CAN
AGREE ON.
>> OKAY, EXCEPT THAT'S
JUST RIDICULOUS.
PARTLY BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING
A MAJORITY OF AMERICANS DO AGREE
ON.
POLLS CONSISTENTLY SHOW THAT
AROUND 2/3 OF AMERICANS SUPPORT
THE ROE V. WADE DECISION.
2/3!
PRESIDENTS CAN'T EVEN GET AN
APPROVAL RATING THAT HIGH,
UNLESS THERE ARE, LIKE, TWO
9-11s.
IT'S CALLED AN 18-22, AND IF
WE'RE HONEST, IT MIGHT ACTUALLY
BE COMING.
AND THAT'S SADLY BEEN EMBLEMATIC
OF DEMOCRATS' APPROACH, OFFERING
VAGUE STATEMENTS IN SUPPORT,
WHILE ABORTION'S BEEN
SPECIFICALLY UNDER ATTACK.
AND ALL THE WHILE, REPUBLICANS
HAVE FOCUSED ON THIS ISSUE WITH
RELENTLESS DETERMINATION.
HERE'S JERRY FALWELL, RIGHT
AFTER ALITO WAS APPOINTED TO THE
COURT, TAKING A VICTORY LAP
FOLLOWING A RULING THAT UPHELD
THE BAN ON A SPECIFIC ABORTION
PROCEDURE.
>> THAT IS THE CULMINATION, FOR
ME, OF ABOUT 35 YEARS OF WORK.
I DON'T THINK WE HAVE FIVE VOTES
ON ROE V. WADE.
I THINK WE ARE PROBABLY ONE OR
TWO VOTES SHORT.
>> AS WE TALKED THAT LAST WEEK
OF HIS LIFE, FALWELL SEEMED TO
RECOGNIZE THAT HIS BATTLE TO END
ALL ABORTIONS WOULD HAVE TO BE
WON BY THE NEXT GENERATION OF
GOD'S WARRIORS.
>> MY CHILDREN ARE MORE LIKELY
TO SEE THIS VICTORY WON THAN I
AM.
I THINK WE'RE 50 YEARS AWAY.
WE'VE GOT TO JUST STAY WITH IT,
STAY WITH IT, STAY WITH IT AND
NEVER GIVE UP.
>> WOW, EVEN THE TRULY
MAGNIFICENT SIGHT OF JERRY
FALWELL IN A COFFIN SOMEHOW
STILL DOESN'T MAKE THAT GO DOWN
ANY EASIER.
BECAUSE FALWELL WAS ACTUALLY
PESSIMISTIC IN HIS PREDICTION
THERE.
THEY ACHIEVED THAT VICTORY
35 YEARS AHEAD OF HIS 50-YEAR
SCHEDULE.
AND THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT THE ONLY
THING HE WAS WRONG ABOUT IN THAT
INTERVIEW, BECAUSE HE ALSO SAID
HE'D BEEN PRAYING FOR ANOTHER
20 YEARS OF LIFE, DESPITE ONLY
HAVING ABOUT ONE WEEK OF IT
LEFT.
SO I GUESS AT THE VERY LEAST WE
NOW KNOW GOD DIDN'T WANT TO
LISTEN TO ANY MORE OF JERRY
FALWELL'S BULLSHIT EITHER.
AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW,
CONSERVATIVES AREN'T REMOTELY
DONE HERE.
THEY'VE ALREADY EMBARKED ON THE
NEXT FIGHT, WITH LOUISIANA
JUST THIS WEEK ADVANCING
LEGISLATION THAT WOULD ALLOW
PROSECUTORS TO CHARGE THOSE WHO
GET ABORTIONS, OR PROVIDE THEM,
WITH HOMICIDE.
THAT BILL, LIKE ANTIABORTION
LEGISLATION IN SEVERAL OTHER
STATES, EVEN DEFINES PERSONHOOD
AS BEGINNING FROM THE MOMENT OF
FERTILIZATION, WHICH WOULD
ARGUABLY CRIMINALIZE IN VITRO
FERTILIZATION AND FORMS OF BIRTH
CONTROL.
AND ALL THIS IS HAPPENING, EVEN
AS OTHER COUNTRIES ARE EXPANDING
REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS.
EVEN IRELAND IS NOW MORE
PROGRESSIVE ON ABORTION THAN
SOME U.S. STATES.
AND IF YOU'RE NOT UP ON YOUR
IRISH HISTORY, THAT WAS NOT
ALWAYS THE CASE!
AND THAT'S AS MUCH AS I'LL WEIGH
IN ON IRISH HISTORY -- BECAUSE I
SOUND LIKE THIS.
AND IT'S NOT JUST THEM.
OTHER PREDOMINANTLY CATHOLIC
COUNTRIES, LIKE ARGENTINA,
MEXICO AND COLOMBIA HAVE ALSO
SIGNIFICANTLY EXPANDED ABORTION
RIGHTS.
JUST TWO MONTHS AGO, COLOMBIA
WON A MASSIVE COURT VICTORY, TO
HUGE CELEBRATIONS.
>> THIS IS HISTORIC.
IT BRINGS US SUCH HAPPINESS.
BECAUSE LITTLE BY LITTLE WE ARE
CHANGING OUR HISTORY.
WE FINALLY SUCCEEDED IN HAVING
THEM ALLOW US TO DECIDE OVER OUR
BODIES.
WE FOUGHT FOR THIS FOR MANY
YEARS, AND CLANDESTINE ABORTIONS
TOOK THE LIVES OF SO MANY WOMEN.
>> THAT IS TRULY
INSPIRING, QUICK SHOUT
OUT TO THE INDIVIDUAL WHO MADE A
CROCHETED SKI MASK WITH THE
LETTERS "ACAB."
LET THIS BE A LESSON THAT YOU
ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT TO FUCK
WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THE
PATIENCE, ATTENTION TO DETAIL,
AND SUSTAINED ANGER TO CROTCHET
THEIR RESENTMENT INTO A
HAND-MADE GARMENT.
THAT IS STAMINA.
THAT IS SOMEONE IN THE FIGHT FOR
THE LONG HAUL.
SO CLEARLY, WE IN THE STATES
HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO RIGHT
NOW, BOTH IN THE SHORT AND THE
LONGTERM.
AND LET ME START WITH THOSE IN
PEOPLE WHO NEED AN ABORTION IN
STATES WHERE BANDS ARE ABOUT TO
BE IN EFFECT.
YOU STILL HAVE OPTIONS AVAILABLE
TO YOU, AND ONE GOOD WAY TO FIND
OUT WHAT THEY ARE IS TO GO TO
THE WEBSITE INeedAnA.com.
IT HAS LOTS OF INFO, INCLUDING
WHAT'S PERMITTED WHERE YOU LIVE,
AND WHERE YOU CAN FIND CLINICS
AND APPROPRIATE RESOURCES.
AND IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING
FINANCIALLY, ONE OF THOSE
RESOURCES MIGHT BE AN ABORTION
FUND, WHICH CAN HELP COVER YOUR
EXPENSES.
IF YOU WANT TO ACCESS OR SUPPORT
THOSE FUNDS, THERE ARE LOTS OUT
THERE, LIKE THE BRIGID ALLIANCE,
WHICH HELPS ABORTION PATIENTS
WHO ARE TRAVELING LONG DISTANCES
TO REACH THEIR APPOINTMENTS, AND
THE LILITH AND YELLOWHAMMER
FUNDS, BOTH OF WHICH HELP WOMEN
ON THE GROUND IN IMPACTED
STATES.
BUT THESE ARE CLEARLY JUST
STOPGAP SOLUTIONS TO DEAL WITH
AN IMMEDIATE CRISIS.
LONGTERM, WE NEED ELECTED
OFFICIALS TO STOP TIPTOEING
AROUND THE ISSUE OF ABORTION AND
TAKE STEPS TO PROPERLY SAFEGUARD
IT.
THE DREAM VERSION OF THIS WOULD
BE A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT
THAT'D SUPPORT PEOPLE'S
FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS TO MAKE
PERSONAL DECISIONS ABOUT
CONTRACEPTION, PREGNANCY,
MARRIAGE, AND FAMILY LIFE.
BUT UNTIL THEN, WE ARE GOING TO
NEED OTHER LEGISLATION AT THE
STATE AND FEDERAL LEVEL.
AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, WE MAY
NOW ALSO NEED TO SHORE UP ALL
THE OTHER RIGHTS SUPPOSEDLY
GUARANTEED BY SUPREME COURT
RULINGS -- FROM VOTING RIGHTS TO
GAY MARRIAGE -- BECAUSE THE FACT
IS, UNDER THE CURRENT SUPREME
COURT, YOUR BASIC RIGHTS TODAY
COULD BECOME CRIMES TOMORROW.
AND THERE ARE ACTUALLY SOME
SMALL OPPORTUNITIES ON THE
HORIZON FOR YOU.
IN AT LEAST THESE FOUR STATES,
ABORTION IS GOING TO BE ON THE
BALLOT THIS YEAR.
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'D PROBABLY
RATHER EAT SHARDS OF GLASS THAN
BE TOLD TO VOTE ONE MORE TIME.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE BEEN
SHOWING UP TO THE POLLS, AND
HOLDING YOUR NOSE TO VOTE FOR A
CANDIDATE YOU MAY NOT EVEN LIKE,
WHILE ENDURING THOUSANDS OF
TEXTS SCREAMING, "IT IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT ELECTION OF YOUR
LIFETIME, DONATE $20 TO THE DNC
RIGHT NOW."
AND YOU DIDN'T TEXT
"STOP 2 QUIT" ONCE, NO MATTER
HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO,
AND HE WANTED TO THROW YOUR
PHONE IN THE FUCKING RIVER.
AND I ALSO GET WHY "JUST VOTE"
IS AN INFURIATINGLY INSUFFICIENT
SLOGAN, WHEN VOTING RIGHTS
THEMSELVES ARE UNDER SIEGE.
I CANNOT DEFEND THE SYSTEM WE
CURRENTLY HAVE.
BUT IT IS, UNFORTUNATELY, THE
ONE WE'VE GOT RIGHT NOW.
SO ELECTORAL VICTORIES ARE GOING
TO BE CRITICAL HERE.
BUT THEY ALSO MUST BE FOLLOWED
BY CONCRETE ACTIONS BY THOSE WE
ELECT.
BECAUSE REPUBLICANS, IF NOTHING
ELSE, JUST GRIMLY DEMONSTRATED
WHAT COMMITTED ACTION CAN
ACTUALLY ACHIEVE.
THEY NEVER ACCEPTED ROE V WADE
AS FINAL.
THEY PLAYED THE LONG GAME, AND
NOT ALWAYS FAIRLY.
BUT THEY RALLIED THEIR BASE AND
RELENTLESSLY HELD THEIR PARTY
LEADERS ACCOUNTABLE, WHETHER
THEY LIKED THOSE LEADERS OR NOT.
AND THEN, CRUCIALLY, THOSE
LEADERS DELIVERED FOR THEM --
BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTOOD THAT
VOTING IS ONLY MEANINGFUL IF THE
PEOPLE WHO WIN ACTUALLY DO WHAT
THEY FUCKING PROMISE YOU!
ANTI-CHOICE ADVOCATES WORKED
REALLY HARD, FOR A REALLY LONG
TIME, TO ENSURE ROE WOULD NOT BE
PERMANENT.
BUT THE THING IS, ITS UNDOING
DOESN'T HAVE TO BE, EITHER.
THIS WEEK, WE'VE ALL BEEN
REMINDED OF WHAT THE MOST
MARGINALIZED PEOPLE IN THIS
THAT FREEDOMS ARE NEVER
GUARANTEED -- THEY ARE HARD-WON
AND THEY ARE EASILY LOST.
PROGRESS REQUIRES A CONSISTENT,
SUSTAINED STRUGGLE, A
WILLINGNESS TO DISRUPT EVERYDAY
LIFE, AND ACTUAL COURAGE FROM
THE PEOPLE THAT WE CHOOSE TO
LEAD US.
IN SHORT, WE ALL BADLY NEED TO
HAVE THE SAME ANGER AND THE SAME
WILLINGNESS FOR A LONG-HAUL
FIGHT AS THE WORLD'S MOST
HARDCORE KNITTER.
AND NOW THIS.
>> AND NOW, LOCAL NEWS SHOWS GO
THROUGH THE MOTIONS FOR
"STAR WARS" DAY.
>> WEDNESDAY, SAY IT WITH ME.
DID YOU?
>> OKAY.
>> NOW SAY IT WITH ME.
MAY THE 4th BE WITH YOU.
>> TODAY IS A CELEBRATION FOR
ALL THE "STAR WARS" FANS.
IT IS MAY THE FOURTH.
WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TODAY.
TO SPEAK LOOK FORWARD TO IT.
>> I DON'T LIKE HOW THEY TOOK
THIS DAY,
MAY THE 4th BE WITH YOU.
I GET IT.
>> DOES THAT DO ANYTHING BETTER
FOR YOU?
>> HIT THE BUTTON.
>> ANYWAY, SHOULD I BE ATTACKING
THESE TWO FROM THE OTHER GALAXY?
ARE THEY GOOD GUYS?
>> HARRISON FORD PLAYED --
>> HAN SOLO.
>> THAT IS THE GUY, HE IS THE
SPACESHIP.
>> SO COOL.
>> AND HE GOT ALL THE WOMEN.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
THE PHILIPPINES.
THE COUNTRY THAT GAVE US, AMONG
OTHER THINGS, BRUNO MARS,
OLIVIA RODRIGO, AND JOLLIBEE,
THE GREATEST FAST FOOD MASCOT OF
ALL TIME.
HE'S A 6'5" BEE IN A TUXEDO TOP
THAT JUST WANTS TO SERVE YOU
FRIED CHICKEN AND SPAGHETTI.
WHAT DO WE HAVE THAT COMPARES?
TERRIFYINGLY LARGE CHILD,
HAMBURGER JOKER.
HELLO-MISTER-POLICE-I-GAVE-YOU-
ALL-THE-CLUES?
PLEASE.
THE WINNER HERE IS CLEAR.
WE'VE DISCUSSED THE PHILIPPINES
ON THE SHOW BEFORE, MOSTLY
THANKS TO THEIR CURRENT LEADER
AND SELF-PROCLAIMED DICTATOR
RODRIGO DUTERTE, WHO HAS, IF
NOTHING ELSE, A WAY WITH WORDS.
>> WHY DO YOU HAVE TO, YOU KNOW,
FUCK WITH US, GODDAMNIT?
>> ONCE AGAIN, I REPEAT IT,
FUCK YOU.
>> WOW.
I KNOW THAT A STRIKING AMOUNT OF
SWEARING, BUT YOU ALSO CAN'T
UNDERSTATE HOW BRAZEN IT IS FOR
THE PRESIDENT OF THE
PHILIPPINES, A NATION OVER 80%
CATHOLIC, TO CALL THE POPE
"A SON OF A WHORE."
THAT IS A BIG DEAL.
IMAGINE IF JOE BIDEN PUBLICLY
TOLD DOLLY PARTON TO GO FUCK
HERSELF.
FORGET BACKLASH, HE'D BE DRAGGED
FROM THE WHITE HOUSE BY HIS
FEET, AND RIGHTLY SO.
AND WHILE DUTERTE'S LANGUAGE MAY
BE SHOCKING, HIS ACTIONS HAVE
BEEN FAR WORSE, ESPECIALLY HIS
WAR ON DRUGS.
IT'S ESTIMATED THAT ON HIS
WATCH, GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS OR
VIGILANTES HAVE KILLED UP TO
30,000 PEOPLE, IN VIOLENCE
WHICH EVEN TRIGGERED THE
INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURT TO
LAUNCH AN INVESTIGATION INTO
POSSIBLE CRIMES AGAINST
HUMANITY.
AND DUTERTE HAS VICIOUSLY
TARGETED HIS CRITICS.
THIS SENATOR WHO LAUNCHED AN
INVESTIGATION INTO HIS DRUG WAR
HAS BEEN LANGUISHING IN JAIL FOR
FIVE YEARS.
AND NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER
MARIA RESSA AND HER NEWS
WEBSITE, RAPPLER, HAVE BEEN
BURIED IN LEGAL ACTIONS, FACING
AT LEAST 11 CASES AND 10
ARREST WARRANTS SINCE DUTERTE
CAME INTO OFFICE, AND THAT'S
JUST THE BEGINNING.
>> THE PHILIPPINES CONSISTENTLY
RANKS AMONG THE TOP 10 DEADLIEST
COUNTRIES FOR JOURNALISTS.
REPORTS SAY AS MANY AS 19 OF
THEM HAVE BEEN KILLED SINCE
DUTERTE TOOK OFFICE.
AT NEWS OF ONE, HE REPLIED,
"JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A
JOURNALIST YOU ARE NOT EXEMPTED
FROM ASSASSINATION, IF YOU'RE A
SON OF A ."
>> HOLY SHIT.
THAT SPEAKS NOT ONLY TO HIS
BRUTALITY, BUT ALSO TO THE
INCREDIBLE BRAVERY OF
JOURNALISTS THERE.
BECAUSE THE POSSIBILITY OF
ASSASSINATION IS THE KIND OF
THING THAT CAN THIN OUT A WORK
FORCE.
IF MICHAELS' JOB LISTINGS SAID,
"APPLICANTS MUST HAVE SOME
FAMILIARITY WITH CANDLE-MAKING,
AND SCRAPBOOKING, ALSO, PLEASE
EMPLOYEES ARE NOT EXEMPTED
FROM ASSASSINATION IF THEY'RE
SONS OF BITCHES," I DON'T THINK
ANYONE WOULD WORK AT MICHAELS
ANYMORE!
NOW, THANKFULLY, DUTERTE'S TERM
IS ABOUT TO COME TO AN END.
PRESIDENTS IN THE PHILIPPINES
CAN ONLY SERVE ONE SIX-YEAR
TERM, AND ELECTIONS ARE ACTUALLY
HAPPENING THERE TOMORROW.
AND THIS IS A BIG ELECTION, IN
EVERY SENSE.
THE PHILIPPINES IS A NATION OF
100 MILLION PEOPLE, AND TURNOUT
IS OFTEN AROUND 80%.
ALTHOUGH, UNFORTUNATELY, THERE
ARE SOME DISCONCERTINGLY
FAMILIAR FACES RUNNING.
DUTERTE'S OWN DAUGHTER, SARA, IS
RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT, A
POSITION WHICH IS ELECTED
SEPARATELY.
TO GET JUST A LITTLE SENSE OF
HER, HERE SHE IS WHEN SHE WAS A
MAYOR, PUNCHING A LOCAL SHERIFF
THAT SHE WAS ANGRY WITH.
AND IT IS NOT GREAT THAT YOU CAN
LOOK AT THAT AND SAY, "WELL, AT
LEAST SHE'S NOT AS VIOLENT AS
HER DAD."
BUT THERE'S SOMEONE RUNNING FOR
PRESIDENT -- AND WHO'S ACTUALLY
PRETTY LIKELY TO WIN -- WHO HAS
AN EVEN MORE ALARMING LAST NAME.
>> A FRONT-RUNNER IN THE CURRENT
POLLS, FERDINAND "BONGBONG"
MARCOS JR.
HIS FATHER DECLARED MARTIAL LAW,
RULING THE PHILIPPINES WITH A
TERRIBLE HUMAN RIGHTS RECORD,
UNTIL A POPULAR UPRISING OUSTED
HIM IN 1986.
HIS MOTHER, IMELDA, IS STILL
FAMOUS FOR HER SHOES.
>> IT'S TRUE, THE SON OF A
GUY WHO TERRORIZED THE
PHILIPPINES FOR YEARS IS NOW THE
FRONTRUNNER TO TAKE OVER.
AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING ANYONE
SHOULD BE JUDGED SOLELY ON THEIR
FAMILY NAME.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE WEIRD IN HIS
PARTICULAR CASE.
IT'D BE LIKE IF THE MOST POPULAR
FROZEN YOGURT CHAIN IN THE U.S.
WAS CALLED "BIN LADEN'S FROYO
DELIGHTS."
I'M NOT SAYING A FROZEN YOGURT
SHOP CAN'T BE CALLED THAT -- I
JUST WOULDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE A
NATIONAL HIT.
THAT'S WHY THEY CHANGED IT TO
PINKBERRY.
AS FOR IMELDA MARCOS'S GIGANTIC
SHOE COLLECTION, THAT WASN'T
JUST A FUN PERSONALITY QUIRK.
IT WAS A SIGN OF THE STAGGERING
SCALE OF THE MARCOS' GRAFT.
THEY EMBEZZLED BILLIONS OF
DOLLARS FROM THE PHILIPPINES, TO
THE POINT IT WAS ONCE RECOGNIZED
BY THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS AS
THE "GREATEST ROBBERY OF A
GOVERNMENT."
AND IT'S A BIT WEIRD FOR THEM TO
BE HANDING OUT RECORDS FOR SUCH
A TERRIBLE THING.
IT'S LIKE GIVING LEE HARVEY
OSWALD AN AWARD FOR "MOST JFKs
SHOT."
BUT THE ENORMITY OF THE MARCOS
FAMILY'S THEFT MAKES HOW
BONGBONG HAS DESCRIBED HIS
CHILDHOOD ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL
THIS YEAR A LITTLE HARD TO
SWALLOW.
>> MY PARENTS WOULD NEVER LET
US FORGET THAT THIS IS NOT --
THIS IS NOT YOURS, THIS IS FROM
THE PEOPLE.
EVERYTHING WE HAVE, ALL THE
ADVANTAGES THAT WE HAVE GAINED,
ANY SUCCESSES WE HAVE ACHIEVED,
AND ANY COMFORT OR PRIVILEGE WE
ENJOY COMES FROM THE PEOPLE.
>> - I'- THAT IS
NOT TECHNICALLY INACCURATE.
THE MARCOSES ARE SORT OF THE
BRITISH MUSEUM OF FAMILIES, IN
THAT MOST OF WHAT THEY HAVE IS
FUCKING STOLEN.
SO IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW ON
EARTH IT'S POSSIBLE FOR THE
SON OF THE PHILIPPINES' MOST
NOTORIOUS LEADER TO NOW BE ON
THE BRINK OF RUNNING THE
COUNTRY, THAT'S WHAT THIS STORY
IS ABOUT.
AND BEFORE WE START, LET'S
ACKNOWLEDGE THERE IS A LOT OF
HISTORY BETWEEN THE U.S. AND THE
PHILIPPINES, AND NONE OF IT
REFLECTS PARTICULARLY WELL ON
US.
TO GIVE A QUICK RUNDOWN, FIRST
THE U.S. BOUGHT THE PHILIPPINES
IN 1898, THEN UTTERLY BRUTALIZED
THEM IN THEIR FIGHT FOR
INDEPENDENCE IN THE
PHILIPPINE-AMERICAN WAR --
WHICH RESULTED IN 200,000
CASUALTIES -- THEN SUBJECTED
THEM TO 50 YEARS OF REPRESSIVE
AND RACIST COLONIAL RULE, AND
THEN, EVEN AFTER GRANTING THEM
THEIR INDEPENDENCE IN 1946,
CONTINUED TO USE THE CIA TO
MEDDLE IN THEIR AFFAIRS.
ALL IN ALL, IT WAS AN ATTITUDE
OF UNCHECKED IMPERIALISM THAT
WAS -- AND I DO NOT SAY THIS
LIGHTLY -- BORDERLINE BRITISH.
BUT THE STORY -- THAT HURT,
DIDN'T IT?
AND IT SHOULD HAVE DONE!
BUT THE STORY OF THE MARCOS
DYNASTY REALLY BEGINS IN 1965,
WHEN FERDINAND MARCOS WAS
ELECTED.
AND WHILE INITIALLY PRESENTING
HIMSELF AS A REFORMER, BY HIS
SECOND TERM, FACING DISSENT, HE
CRACKED DOWN HARD, INVENTING
OR EXAGGERATING INTERNAL THREATS
TO JUSTIFY IMPOSING MARTIAL LAW.
AND THAT WAS A PERIOD WHICH WAS,
TO PUT IT VERY, VERY
MILDLY, A BAD TIME TO BE IN THE
PHILIPPINES.
UNDER MARTIAL LAW, SOME
30,000 PEOPLE WERE TORTURED,
AND THOUSANDS MORE WERE KILLED.
AND ALL THE WHILE, THE MARCOSES
WERE SIPHONING OFF MONEY ON AN
ASTONISHING SCALE, WITH IMELDA
PARTICULARLY ADEPT AT SPENDING
IT.
>> IMELDA, KNOWN AS "THE IRON
BUTTERFLY," WOULD BECOME A
NOTORIOUS JET-SETTING SOCIALITE
AND FASHION ICON, AMASSING
HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS IN JEWELS,
FINE ART, REAL ESTATE.
HER TRAVELS SO LUXURIOUS, SHE
ONCE REPORTEDLY SPENT $2,000 ON
CHEWING GUM DURING A LAYOVER
IN SAN FRANCISCO.
SHE EVEN FORCED AN AIRPLANE
DEPARTING ROME TO MAKE A U-TURN
BECAUSE SHE FORGOT TO BUY
CHEESE.
>> HOLD ON, I DO HAVE
SOME QUESTIONS THERE.
FIRST, WHAT DO YOU MEAN "FORCED
AN AIRPLANE"?
DID IMELDA STORM THE COCKPIT?
DID A PILOT SAY A SOFT PRAYER TO
SEE HIS CHILDREN AGAIN ALL
BECAUSE IMELDA MARCOS HAD A
HANKERING FOR PECORINO?
ALSO, IF YOU FORGET TO BUY
CHEESE IN ITALY, YOU'RE OKAY!
FILIPINO CUISINE IS PERFECTLY
DELICIOUS WITHOUT IT.
ANYONE WHO'S EATEN A SINGLE
PLATE OF ADOBO KNOWS THAT
THERE'S NO NEED TO INTRODUCE
AGED COW JIZZ INTO THE EQUATION.
BUT AS THE MARCOSES PLUNDERED
AND MISMANAGED THE COUNTRY, THE
AVERAGE FILIPINO SUFFERED BADLY.
THE ECONOMY WAS IN CRISIS AND
THE INCOMES OF WAGE LABORERS
DECLINED SUBSTANTIALLY, TO THE
POINT THAT, BY THE END OF
FERDINAND'S TIME IN OFFICE, MANY
FILIPINOS WERE SURVIVING ON
LESS THAN $2 A DAY.
AND WHILE, AGAIN, BONGBONG ISN'T
INNATELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
ACTIONS OF HIS FATHER, HE VERY
MUCH BENEFITED FROM THAT
SPENDING SPREE.
THE MARCOSES LAVISHED MONEY ON
THEIR CHILDREN, INCLUDING THIS
BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR THEIR
DAUGHTER.
>> EXTRAVAGANT PARTIES ON THE
PRESIDENTIAL YACHT, DECADENT BY
THE STANDARDS OF THIS CATHOLIC
NATION.
FERDINAND JR., NICKNAMED
"BONGBONG," GOVERNOR OF THE
FAMILY'S HOME PROVINCE, IS THE
MAN IN THE FLASHING BOW TIE.
>> WHAT DID I JUST WATCH
THERE?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
MORE UNSETTLING ABOUT THAT, THE
ADULT BABY EMERGING FROM A CAKE
SCREAMING "MOMMY," OR THE FACT
THAT WHILE BONGBONG LOOKS VERY
YOUNG THERE, HE WAS ACTUALLY A
GOVERNOR THEN.
AND HONESTLY, I WOULDN'T TRUST A
MAN WEARING THAT BOWTIE TO RUN
ANYTHING.
I WOULDN'T EVEN TRUST HIM WITH
THE JOB HE'
BRINGING OUT THE BIRTHDAY CAKE
AT AN OLIVE GARDEN.
NOW, THE MARCOSES WERE
ULTIMATELY FORCED TO FLEE THE
COUNTRY AFTER A MASS UPRISING IN
1986.
BUT FERDINAND HELD ON TO THE
BILLIONS THAT HE STOLE.
THE FAMILY WERE
GRANTED ASYLUM IN HAWAII, AND
TOOK A LOT WITH THEM ON THE
PLANE, SHOWING UP WITH
$7 MILLION IN CASH
AND GEMS, AND TWENTY-FOUR BARS
OF SOLID GOLD ENGRAVED "TO MY
HUSBAND ON OUR 24th
ANNIVERSARY."
WHICH ISN'T REMOTELY ROMANTIC.
THAT ANNIVERSARY PRESENT IS THE
PILFERING BILLIONAIRE EQUIVALENT
OF HANDING YOUR SPOUSE AN
ENVELOPE FULL OF CASH WITH "WE
HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 24 YEARS
AS OF TODAY."
BUT OBVIOUSLY, THEY HAD TO LEAVE
SOME THINGS BEHIND, AND FOR MANY
IN THE PHILIPPINES, IT WAS A
REAL SHOCK TO SEE THE SHEER
EXTENT TO WHICH THEY'D BEEN
ROBBED.
>> FILIPINOS WHO USED TO BE
BLOCKS GOT AN UNEXPECTED
KALEIDOSCOPE OF UNIMAGINABLE
LUXURY.
>> WOW.
>> INCLUDING THE FORMER FIRST
LADY'S 10-FOOT-WIDE BED.
>> THAT'S WHY A LOT OF PEOPLE
HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES ARE
STARVING.
>> AS FAR AS RAY IS CONCERNED,
THE MARCOSES BELONG IN JAIL.
>> HE CAN COME BACK
HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES TO FACE
WHAT HE DO THE PEOPLE OF THE
PHILIPPINES.
>> YEAH, IT'S FUNNY.
SEEING THE WEALTH OF THE RULERS
WHO RIPPED YOU OFF DOES TEND TO
PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE.
IT'S LIKE HOW AFTER
FRENCH WORKERS LEARNED OF THE
MAJESTY OF VERSAILLES IN
THE 18th CENTURY, THE REVOLUTION
WAS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
"HOLD ON, THEY HAVE FOUR GOLD
PLATED PIPE ORGANS?
YEAH, THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE
GONNA HAVE TO GO."
NOW, IN THE END, A GOVERNMENT
COMMISSION WAS SET UP TO TRACK
DOWN AND RECOVER THE STOLEN
36
YEARS LATER, THANKS TO COURT
DELAYS AND THE MARCOSES FIGHTING
THEM THE WHOLE WAY, THEY
HAVE ONLY RETRIEVED ABOUT FIVE
BILLION, OR AROUND HALF OF WHAT
WAS ESTIMATED STOLEN.
THIS IS SOMETHING THAT
BONGBONG WAS ACTUALLY DIRECTLY
ASKED ABOUT WHEN HE RAN FOR VICE
PRESIDENT SIX YEARS AGO, AND HIS
RESPONSE BACK THEN WAS PRETTY
INFURIATING.
>> I CANNOT GIVE WHAT I DO
NOT HAVE.
I DO NOT HAVE WHAT YOU ARE --
I DO NOT HAVE CONTROL.
I DO NOT HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF
ANY OF THE THINGS.
ONCE AGAIN, LET ME REPEAT, I
CANNOT GIVE WHAT I DO NOT HAVE.
>> YEAH, NOT GREAT.
BUT ALSO, CREDIT TO THE
SIGN LANGUAGE INTERPRETER THERE,
WHO MANAGED TO GET ACROSS NOT
JUST WHAT HE WAS SAYING, BUT
ALSO COMMUNICATE HIS WHOLE "BIG
ANGRY CRYBABY" VIBE.
I'M JUST SAYING, IT IS PRETTY
IMPRESSIVE THAT BONGBONG'S
SOMEHOW THE BIGGEST BABY IN A
PIECE THAT ALSO CONTAINS THIS
FUCKING GUY.
AND YET, DESPITE BEING BOOED
FOR THAT RESPONSE, BONGBONG IS
NOW ON THE EDGE OF BEING ELECTED
PRESIDENT.
AND THAT'S BECAUSE, OVER THE
PAST DECADE, SOMETHING KIND OF
REMARKABLE HAS HAPPENED IN THE
THAT IS, HISTORY HAS BEEN
REWRITTEN.
>> SINCE THE RETURN OF THE
MARCOSES, THERE'S BEEN A TRICKLE
OF NEW INFORMATION IN YOUTUBE,
IN GOOGLE THAT'S A REVISION OF
THE INTERPRETATION OF
MARTIAL LAW.
>> WOW.
THAT IS A STARK REWRITING OF A
TERRIBLE PERIOD.
AND I DO REALIZE THE U.S. ISN'T
EXACTLY PERFECT HERE, EITHER.
WE GRAPPLE WITH OUR GREATEST
MONSTERS BY PUTTING UP CONSTANT
REMINDERS OF THEM, ON
MOUNTAINS, IN TOWN SQUARES, AND
ON CRISP $20 BILLS.
AND THIS WILLFUL DISTORTION OF
HISTORY HAS BEEN MASSIVELY
ABETTED BY THE INTERNET, AS THE
PHILIPPINES FREQUENTLY RANKS AS
THE MOST ONLINE NATION IN THE
WORLD.
THAT IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING
DUTERTE VERY MUCH BENEFITED
FROM, AS HE RODE A WAVE OF
FALSE STORIES, PAID TROLLING,
AND FACEBOOK ENGAGEMENT ALL THE
WAY TO THE PRESIDENCY.
IN FACT, FACEBOOK ITSELF EVEN
CALLED HIM THE "UNDISPUTED KING
OF FACEBOOK CONVERSATIONS,"
A TITLE SURPRISINGLY NOT HELD BY
YOUR UNCLE WHO HAS SOME HOT
TAKES ON THE VACCINE HE THINKS
YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT.
AND THE INTERNET IS NOW
SIMILARLY AWASH IN FACEBOOK
POSTS AND TIKTOK
VIDEOS THAT BOTH GLORIFY AND
ROMANTICIZE THE MARCOS FAMILY.
POPULAR POSTS ON FACEBOOK HAVE
EXPLAINED AWAY FERDINAND'S ILL
GOTTEN WEALTH, SAYING
HIS FORTUNE WAS LEFT BY A
JAPANESE GENERAL AFTER WORLD WAS
EARNED FOR BEING A FANTASTIC
LAWYER.
THERE'S ALSO THIS ONE SUGGESTING
THAT MARCOS, AT ONE POINT, GAVE
BREAD TO A YOUNG MICHAEL JORDAN.
IT SEEMS TO HAVE ORIGINATED AS A
JOKE, BUT HAS SINCE BEEN PASSED
AROUND COMPLETELY SERIOUSLY.
AND LET'S JUST BREAK THIS STORY
DOWN.
ON DECEMBER 24, 1969, THE
MARCOS FAMILY WAS IN WILMINGTON,
NORTH CAROLINA, TO CELEBRATE THE
HOLIDAYS -- THAT TRACKS, BECAUSE
IF YOU'RE A BILLIONAIRE FROM THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND YOU
WANT TO CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS
IN AMERICA, THERE IS ONLY ONE
PLACE YOU'RE GOING, AND
THAT'S WILMINGTON, NORTH
CAROLINA.
THEN PRESIDENT MARCOS WAS
WALKING IN A PARK AND HE SAW A
SKINNY CHILD BEGGING FOR FOOD.
HE GAVE HIM A WHOLE BOX OF
NUTRIBUN, AND SAID, "BRING
THIS WITH YOU CHILD, SOMEDAY YOU
WILL GROW UP TO BE SOMEONE
IMPORTANT."
SO, TO BE CLEAR, IN THIS STORY,
PRESIDENT MARCOS WAS WALKING
THROUGH A PARK, HOLDING BREAD.
SPECIFICALLY, NUTRIBUN, A
BREAD MAINLY SOLD IN THE
PHILIPPINES.
MEANING MARCOS FLEW TO THE
UNITED STATES WITH NUTRIBUN,
BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE,
"WHAT IF WE GET TO WILMINGTON,
NORTH CAROLINA, MY FAVORITE
HOLIDAY DESTINATION, AND THEY
DON'T HAVE ANY BREAD THERE?"
THEN HE WENT TO THE PARK AND
PASSED, LIKE, TEN OTHER KIDS,
THINKING, "NONE OF YOU ARE GONNA
GROW UP TO BE IMPORTANT, YOU'RE
NOT GETTING ANY OF MY PARK
BREAD," THEN SAW MICHAEL JORDAN
AND WAS LIKE, "WAIT,
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU ARE
GOING TO BE IMPORTANT.
SO HERE, HAVE THIS BREAD THAT I
BROUGHT WITH ME FROM THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE WORLD."
AND THEN THAT KID GREW UP TO BE
MICHAEL JORDAN, THE GREATEST
BASKETBALL PLAYER WHO EVER
LIVED.
THAT IS THE SINGLE DUMBEST STORY
INVOLVING A YOUNG MICHAEL JORDAN
I HAVE EVER HEARD, AND I HAVE
SEEN "SPACE JAM."
SO THAT IS JUST A TASTE OF THE
ONLINE NONSENSE WHICH IS
SUCCESSFULLY REFRAMING THE
MARCOS FAMILY HISTORY.
AND AT THE SAME TIME, BONGBONG'S
MAIN RIVAL, LENI ROBREDO, THE
CURRENT VICE PRESIDENT AND THE
WOMAN YOU SAW CHALLENGING HIM IN
THAT DEBATE CLIP EARLIER, HAS
FACED VICIOUS ATTACKS ONLINE,
RANGING FROM FALSE ALLEGATIONS
THAT SHE HAS TIES TO ARMED
COMMUNIST REBELS TO PHONY
RUMORS THAT SHE MURDERED HER
HUSBAND.
IN FACT, FACT-CHECKERS HAVE
REPORTED THAT ALMOST ALL THE
DISINFORMATION ABOUT
ROBREDO IS NEGATIVE, WHILE ANY
DISINFORMATION ABOUT BONGBONG
OVERWHELMINGLY PUTS HIM IN A
POSITIVE LIGHT.
BUT MAYBE THE MOST FANTASTICAL
LIE THAT BONGBONG'S CAMPAIGN HAS
TOLD IS ACTUALLY THE MOST
THAT HE IS NOT THE SCION OF A
POLITICAL CRIME FAMILY, HE'S
JUST A REGULAR, ORDINARY CITIZEN
WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT.
IN FACT, HERE IS HOW HIS WIFE
DESCRIBED THE EXACT MOMENT HE
DECIDED TO RUN.
>> YOU KNOW, SIX MONTHS AGO, HE
WASN'T YET SURE WHAT TO DO, WE
HAD NO PARTY, YOU KNOW.
AND THEN ONE DAY WE WERE
WATCHING "ANT-MAN" IN THE ROOM
AND THEN HE LOOKED AT -- BECAUSE
WE LOVE
MARVEL MOVIES, AND THEN HE
LOOKED AT ME AND HE
GOES, "OKAY, WE'RE GONNA DO
THIS," HE TOLD ME.
I SAID, "DO WHAT?"
"RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY."
>> NO FUCKING WAY.
THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.
I AM CALLING TOTAL BULLSHIT ON
THE IDEA THAT BONGBONG DECIDED
TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT OUT OF
NOWHERE, MID MARVEL FILM.
MAINLY BECAUSE I CAN THINK OF A
MUCH MORE SALIENT REASON HE'D
HOLD SWAY OVER THE COMMISSION
DEVOTED TO INVESTIGATING AND
RECOVERING HIS FAMILY'S WEALTH,
AS WELL AS THE TAX OFFICE.
WHICH WOULD BE PARTICULARLY
USEFUL FOR HIM, AS
THE MARCOSES HAVE REFUSED TO PAY
A TAX BILL THAT REPORTEDLY
AMOUNTS TO $3.9 BILLION DOLLARS,
INCLUDING PENALTIES.
SO BONGBONG COULD EASILY TELL
HIS OWN ADMINISTRATION TO JUST
FORGET ABOUT HIS MASSIVE DEBT,
WHICH IS CLEARLY AN APPEALING
IDEA.
IN FACT, WHEN YOU THINK OF IT,
"ANT-MAN" COULD ACTUALLY BE THE
PERFECT MOVIE TO INSPIRE HIM TO
RUN FOR PRESIDENT, GIVEN THAT
IT'S ABOUT A THIEF WHOSE
QUESTIONABLE PAST IS FORGOTTEN
AFTER HE RISES TO POWER USING
RESOURCES THAT HE ALSO STOLE.
BUT I WILL SAY, BONGBONG'S BRAND
RELAUNCH HASN'T WORKED ON
EVERYONE.
PLENTY OF FILIPINOS ARE STILL
OPPOSED TO HIM, AND TO HAVING
THE MARCOS ERA REWRITTEN IN
FRONT OF THEIR VERY EYES.
DESPITE TRAILING BONGBONG
MASSIVELY IN THE POLLS,
LENI ROBREDO HAS INSPIRED
HUGE RALLIES THERE.
AND WALDEN BELLO, WHO'S RUNNING
AGAINST SARA DUTERTE FOR VICE
PRESIDENT, HAS BEEN OUTSPOKEN
ABOUT JUST HOW OUTRAGEOUS THIS
ALL IS.
>> MARCOS HAS CREATED A BIG
PUBLIC RELATIONS MACHINE THAT
USES SOCIAL MEDIA TO TRY TO
CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT THE 14
YEARS OF MARTIAL LAW, NOT THE
COLLECTIVE NIGHTMARE, HE'S
TRYING TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA AND
HIS HUNDREDS OF TROLLS TO SAY
"MY GOD, THIS IS THE FAMILY THAT
HAS RAPED THE COUNTRY, IT HAS
NOT APOLOGIZED TO THE COUNTRY,
AND HE NOW WANTS TO RAPE
THE COUNTRY AGAIN.
FUCK YOU, MARCOS!
>> YEAH, WELL PUT.
AND THE THING IS, NO MATTER HOW
HARD YOU TRY TO REINVENT
YOURSELF, THERE'S ALWAYS GOING
TO BE SOME PEOPLE WHO REMEMBER
WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
WHETHER YOU'RE A NEW COLLEGE
FRESHMAN TRYING ON A BRITISH
ACCENT, OR A MASSIVE TECH
OLIGARCHY TRYING TO PAPER OVER
ITS COMPLICITY IN VIOLENCE AND
GENOCIDE.
HEY, MARK, I THINK META'S
REALLY STARTING TO CATCH ON!
GIVE IT A FEW MORE WEEKS, MAYBE.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT, BUDDY!
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE REALLY
PUMPED FOR THIS.
IT HAS BEEN AMAZING TO SEE THE
PHILIPPINES ELECTION UNFOLD.
BECAUSE IN THIS ELECTION,
THEY'RE NOT JUST VOTING ON THEIR
FUTURE.
THEY'RE VOTING ON THEIR PAST.
SPECIFICALLY, WHICH ONE DO THEY
WANT TO BELIEVE?
THE ONE WHERE FERDINAND MARCOS
WREAKED HAVOC ON A COUNTRY AND
ITS PEOPLE UNDER MARTIAL LAW?
OR THE ONE WHERE HE WAS SOMEHOW
THE GREATEST NBA SCOUT OF ALL
TIME?
AND I KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE
WATCHING THIS AREN'T ELIGIBLE TO
VOTE IN IT -- ALTHOUGH, IF YOU
ARE, AND YOU'RE WATCHING,
"KUMUSTA, MARAMING SALAMAT PO!"
AND TO YOU, LET ME JUST SAY
THIS, I GET WHY YOU'D BE
SKEPTICAL ABOUT A BREAKDOWN OF
YOUR POLITICS FROM SOMEONE WITH
WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS
"BIG COLONIZER ENERGY," AND WHO
LIVES IN A COUNTRY THAT IS NO
STRANGER TO DISHONEST
BILLIONAIRES WHO PROPELLED
THEMSELVES TO POWER WITH
FACEBOOK LIES.
SO LOOK, DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
BUT MAYBE DO LISTEN TO YOUR
FELLOW CITIZENS WHO BOTH
REMEMBER THE PAST AND ARE
DETERMINED NOT TO REPEAT IT.
BECAUSE BONGBONG MARCOS HAS
SHOWN VIRTUALLY NO REMORSE FOR
WHAT HIS FATHER PUT THE COUNTRY
THROUGH.
AND IF THE PHILIPPINES IS TO
AVOID MORE OF THE SAME GRAFT AND
VIOLENCE THAT THEY'VE
EXPERIENCED OVER THE PAST 50
YEARS, THEY'RE GOING TO NEED
THESE PEOPLE AND OTHERS TO
CONTINUE BRAVELY SPEAKING OUT
AND TELLING THE LIKES OF
BONGBONG MARCOS, IF I MAY USE
THE POETIC WORDS OF THE
PHILIPPINES' CURRENT ASSHOLE
PRESIDENT, "FUCK YOU."
AND NOW THIS.
>> AND NOW W DIV METEOROLOGIST
ENJOYS CINCO de MAYO A LITTLE
TOO MUCH.
>> TAKE A LOOK AT A BEAUTIFUL
SKYLINE HERE AND A BEAUTIFUL SKY
ON THIS CINCO de MAYO.
>> CINCO de MAYO TOMORROW
SHOULD START WITH SON.
A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE, EL
SOL.
>> CINCO de MAYO, I THINK WE
HOLD O OFF THE RAIN.
>> IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD ON THIS
CINCO de MAYO.
IT WILL BE
>> A LITTLE FIESTA AND THEN A
QUICK SIESTA.
>> WHAT LANGUAGE WAS THAT?
>> I SAID THE SKY IS PARTLY
CLOUDY AND MOSTLY CLOUDY.
>> HERE IS JULIA WITH YOUR --
>> THAT'S OUR SHOW.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT!