♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT."
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT'S BEEN ANOTHER BUSY WEEK.
BORIS JOHNSON NARROWLY SURVIVED
A NO-CONFIDENCE VOTE, THE U.S.
POSTAL SERVICE UNVEILED A NANCY
REAGAN STAMP IN AN APPARENT
ATTEMPT TO CANCEL OUT PRIDE
MONTH, AND THE HOUSE COMMITTEE
INVESTIGATING JANUARY 6TH HELD
ITS FIRST PRIME-TIME HEARING,
PROMPTING A CRISIS FOR
CONSERVATIVE MEDIA.
FOX NEWS OPTED NOT TO AIR IT AT
ALL, AND OAN WENT ONE BETTER,
AIRING A TRIBUTE TO TRUMP
INSTEAD, FEATURING THIS
EXQUISITE TRANSITION TO
COMMERCIALS.
>> YOU HAVE INSPIRED COUNTLESS
MILLIONS AND SHOWN OUR NATION
WHAT IT TRULY MEANS TO MAKE
AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.
FOR ONE AMERICA NEWS, I'M
PEARSON SHARP.
>> GENERIC VIAGRA DELIVERED
WITHIN 48 HOURS IN DISCREET
PACKAGING ON APPROVAL.
NO ONE WILL KNOW BUT YOU.
OH, AND YOUR MAILBOX.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: PERFECT.
ABSOLUTELY NO NOTES.
WITH THE SOLE EXCEPTION OF,
MAYBE SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THE
MAILBOX THERE.
IT JUST GOT GIVEN A RAGING FLAG
BONER BY DISCREETLY PACKAGED
PILLS, AND NOW IT JUST NEEDS TO
SIT THERE FRUSTRATED AND HOPE
FOR A PIGEON TO LAND JUST RIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT WE'RE GOING TO START BY
CHECKING IN ON THE
MIDTERM ELECTIONS AGAIN.
THIS TIME, IN ARIZONA, CURRENTLY
REPRESENTED BY TWO DEMOCRATS IN
THE SENATE.
KYRSTEN SINEMA, THE ONLY
SENATOR WHO SEEMS TO BUY ALL HER
CLOTHES EXCLUSIVELY FROM
GIRLBOSS PYRAMID SCHEMES.
[LAUGHTER]
AND MARK KELLY, WHO'S UP FOR
REELECTION.
REPUBLICANS THINK THEY HAVE A
REAL CHANCE OF UNSEATING HIM,
WHICH HAS LED TO A COMPETITIVE
PRIMARY.
THE BEST-KNOWN CONTENDER IS
PROBABLY MARK BRNOVICH,
ARIZONA'S CURRENT AG, WHOSE
WHOLE VIBE CAN PROBABLY BEST BE
SUMMED UP BY THIS VIDEO HE
RELEASED TO CELEBRATE THE END OF
THE STATE'S BAN ON NUNCHUCKS,
WHICH PROVED SO POPULAR, HE
LATER RELEASED THIS SEQUEL:
>> PEOPLE, YOU WANT MORE
CHUCKS?
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: I KNOW THAT'S
RIDICULOUS, BUT I'M PERSONALLY
ENJOYING DANNY McBRIDE'S NEWEST
CHARACTER AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE
WHERE HE GOES WITH IT.
BUT BURNOVICH FACES RESISTANCE
FROM DIE-HARD TRUMP SUPPORTERS,
WHO FEEL HE DIDN'T DO ENOUGH TO
TRY AND OVERTURN THE 2020
ELECTION.
WHICH HAS OPENED UP SPACE FOR
CANDIDATES LIKE JIM LAMON,
A RETIRED ENERGY EXECUTIVE WHO
HAS MADE WAVES WITH THIS TV
SPOT:
>> THE GOOD PEOPLE OF ARIZONA
HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
IT'S TIME FOR A SHOWDOWN.
♪ ♪
I'M JIM LAMON AND I APPROVE THIS
MESSAGE.
>> John: WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE APPROVED IT, JIM, BECAUSE
YOUR AD IS TERRIBLE.
"SHIFTY KELLY" IS SUPPOSED TO BE
MARK KELLY, WHO'S MARRIED TO
GABBY GIFFORDS, WHO SURVIVED
BEING SHOT IN THE HEAD IN 2011.
SO SHOOTING AT HER HUSBAND IS,
AT BEST, INSENSITIVE.
IT'S FRANKLY AMAZING A GROWN MAN
DRESSED IN A SHERIFF COSTUME
THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS
DISCONTINUED BY PARTY CITY IS
SOMEHOW JUST THE SECOND MOST
DISTASTEFUL PART OF THAT AD.
BUT SURPRISINGLY, TRUMP DIDN'T
ENDORSE LAMON, EITHER.
INSTEAD, HE'S ENDORSED
BLAKE MASTERS.
AND IF YOU THINK HIS NAME ALONE
MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A THIRD
TIER BOND VILLAIN WAIT UNTIL YOU
HEAR ABOUT HIS EVERYTHING
ELSE.
BECAUSE MASTERS IS A PETER
THIEL-BACKED, SELF-DESCRIBED
"CONSERVATIVE NATIONALIST."
AND SINCE TRUMP'S ENDORSEMENT,
THINGS HAVE STARTED TO SURFACE
ABOUT HIM, LIKE THIS AUDIO, FROM
A PODCAST THAT HE APPEARED ON
BACK IN APRIL.
>> WE DO HAVE A GUN VIOLENCE IN
THIS COUNTRY AND IT'S GANG
VIOLENCE.
RIGHT?
IT'S GANGS, IT'S PEOPLE IN
CHICAGO, ST. LOUIS, SHOOTING
EACH OTHER.
VERY OFTEN, YOU KNOW, BLACK
PEOPLE, FRANKLY.
>> John: OKAY, BLAMING BLACK
PEOPLE FOR GUN VIOLENCE IN
AMERICA IS JUST OUTRAGEOUSLY,
UNCREATIVELY RACIST.
BUT ALSO UNSURPRISING FROM
SOMEONE WHO -- AND THIS IS
TRUE -- WAS CALLED AN
"IMMIGRATION PATRIOT" BY THE
WHITE NATIONALIST WEBSITE
V-DARE, WHICH PRAISED HIM,
SAYING HE "CHECKS ALL THE RIGHT
BOXES."
AND "HE'S AN IMMIGRATION PATRIOT
WHO CHECKS ALL THE WHITE
SUPREMACIST BOXES" JUST ISN'T
WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT A
MAN RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO HEAR IT
IN A "SEX AND THE CITY"
VOICEOVER.
THAT NIGHT, CHARLOTTE MET
BLAKE, WHO WAS AN IMMIGRATION
PATRIOT WHO CHECKED ALL THE
BOXES, AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT
WONDER: WERE WE ALL JUST
SEARCHING FOR OUR WHITE KNIGHT?
[LAUGHTER]
MASTERS ALSO EMBRACES A NATIONAL
ABORTION BAN, HAS QUESTIONED
WHETHER JANUARY 6TH WAS SET UP
BY THE FBI.
AND THEN THERE'S THIS INTERVIEW,
IN WHICH HE CHOOSES THE EXACT
WRONG ANSWER TO THE SOFTBALL
QUESTION, "WHO'S A SUBVERSIVE
THINKER WHO'S UNDERRATED?"
>> SUBVERSIVE THINKER THAT'S
UNDERRATED?
>> YEAH.
>> I'LL PROBABLY GET IN TROUBLE
FOR SAYING THIS.
I MEAN, I'D SAY, HOW ABOUT,
LIKE, THEODORE KACZYNSKI?
>> GOOD!
GOOD ONE, ACTUALLY, YEAH.
>> UH, PROBABLY NOT GREAT TO BE
TALKING ABOUT THE UNABOMBER
WHILE CAMPAIGNING.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: YEAH, PROBABLY NOT!
ALSO, I'M SORRY, "THEODORE
KACZYNSKI?"
WHAT ARE YOU, HIS MOM WHEN HE'S
IN TROUBLE?
THEODORE JOHN KACZYNSKI, HAVE
YOU BEEN SENDING MAIL BOMBS TO
AIRLINES AND UNIVERSITIES AROUND
THE COUNTRY FROM A REMOTE CABIN
IN THE MONTANA WILDERNESS?
YOU ARE SO GROUNDED, MISTER!
NAUGHTY THEODORE!
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, MASTERS INSISTS HE DOESN'T
ENDORSE THE "BOMB" ASPECT OF THE
UNABOMBER, WHICH WAS A PRETTY
KEY PART OF HIS WHOLE DEAL.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT UNSURPRISINGLY, JIM LAMON
HAS NOW PRODUCED AN ATTACK AD
FEATURING THAT AND MANY OTHER
TERRIBLE THINGS MASTERS HAS
SAID, AND HIS PUSHBACK TO THAT
WAS FULL OF EVEN MORE RED FLAGS.
>> LOOK, AS MY COMPETITORS
SELF-DESTRUCT, I'M SURE THESE
ATTACKS ARE ONLY GOING TO
INCREASE.
RIGHT, THEY'LL INTERVIEW MY
CLASSMATES FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL.
THEY'LL PORE OVER WHATEVER I MAY
HAVE WRITTEN AS A TEENAGER, TRY
TO TWIST IT ALL OUT OF
PROPORTION.
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GET SUCKED
INTO THAT KIND OF PETTY, DIRTY
POLITICS.
>> John: HOLY SHIT.
"THEY'LL PORE OVER WHAT I MAY
HAVE WRITTEN AS A TEENAGER" IS
JUST NOT A NORMAL THING TO WORRY
ABOUT.
[LAUGHTER]
IT'S LIKE SAYING, "MY PETTY
OPPONENTS WILL GO FROM DOG POUND
TO DOG POUND, ASKING THE STAFF
WHAT I MAY HAVE DONE WITH ALL
THOSE STRAY DOGS.
CLASSIC PETTY, DIRTY POLITICS."
EXCEPT, NO, IT ISN'T, BLAKE!
IT'S WEIRD, SPECIFIC POLITICS
THAT WE NOW NEED TO KNOW A LOT
MORE ABOUT.
LOOK, THIS PRIMARY IS VERY MUCH
UP IN THE AIR.
AND WE DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'LL
GO TO NUNCHUCKS McGEE,
THE WORLD'S MOST PATHETIC
COWBOY, OR A GUY WHO LIKED THE
UNABOMBER'S EARLIER, FUNNIER
STUFF.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT WE DO KNOW, THOUGH, IS
THINGS ARE GOING TO INTENSIFY IN
ARIZONA OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF
MONTHS, THAT THESE RESULTS COULD
WELL SHIFT THE BALANCE OF POWER
IN THE SENATE, AND THAT,
CRUCIALLY, SOMEONE PROBABLY
NEEDS TO INTERVIEW BLAKE MASTERS
MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASSMATES AS SOON
AS POSSIBLE.
[LAUGHTER]
AND NOW, THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW, SEAN
HANNITY'S FAVORITE JOKE.
>> TO COIN A PHRASE, WAS A TOTAL
SCHIFF SHOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN.
>> WE CALL IT THE 2022 ADAM
SCHIFF SHOW.
>> CAPITOL HILL HAS DESCENDED
INTO A ADAM SCHIFF SHOW.
>> ADAM SCHIFF SHOW.
>> THIS LATEST SCHIFF SHOW.
>> A MOSCOW DOESN'T GIVE A ADAM
SCHIFF ABOUT SANCTIONS.
>> SPEAKING OF THEIR ADAM SCHIFF
HOLE.
>> BOMBED THE LIVING SCHIFF OUT
OF ISIS.
>> OF THAT IS TOTAL BULL-SCHIFF.
>> TOTAL B.S., OR TOTAL B
SCHIFF, ADAM SCHIFF.
GUESS WHAT, SPOTIFY IS IN DEEP
TROUBLE, OR ADAM SCHIFF, AS
I CALL IT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
THE INTERNET, A WORLD-CHANGING
RESOURCE THAT WAS INITIALLY SOLD
TO US LIKE THIS:
>> WE INSTALLED THE INTERNET ON
OUR COMPUTER JUST A SHORT TIME
AGO AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO
GET THE KIDS OFF IT EVER SINCE.
>> NOT ONLY DO THEY PLAY THE
TYPICAL COMPUTER GAMES THAT ALL
THE KIDS ENJOY, BUT THEIR
CURIOSITY FOR LEARNING HAS
SKYROCKETED.
PETER IS CONSTANTLY QUOTING
SPORTS STATISTICS, AND HE CAN
TELL YOU THE BEST SURFING SPOTS
AROUND THE GLOBE.
>> NOT TO MENTION THE
IMPROVEMENT IN PETER'S GRADES.
AND DASHA'S, TOO.
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, PETER WAS
NOT CHECKING SURFING SPOTS OR
SPORTS STATISTICS.
PETER WAS MASTURBATING.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT IS WHAT PETER WAS DOING.
BUT SPARE A THOUGHT FOR DASHA
THERE, WHO JUST GETS "ALSO GOOD
GRADES."
YOU DESERVE BETTER, DASHA.
I HOPE YOU GREW UP TO BE AN
EARLY INVESTOR IN CELLPHONES,
MADE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND
NEVER SPOKE TO YOUR WEIRD FAMILY
EVER AGAIN.
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT THE FACT OUR
EXPERIENCES ON THE INTERNET ARE
NOW DOMINATED BY A VERY SMALL
HANDFUL OF COMPANIES, WHO ARE
GETTING PRETTY USED TO THROWING
THEIR WEIGHT AROUND.
IN 2020, THE HOUSE JUDICIARY
SUBCOMMITTEE ON ANTITRUST
RELEASED A MASSIVE
450-PAGE REPORT DETAILING
ANTICOMPETITIVE CONDUCT BY
APPLE, AMAZON, FACEBOOK, AND
ALPHABET -- THAT'S THE PARENT
COMPANY OF GOOGLE.
AND THE FINDINGS COULDN'T HAVE
BEEN CLEARER: EACH PLATFORM
SERVES AS A GATEKEEPER OVER A
KEY CHANNEL OF DISTRIBUTION,
ALLOWING THESE GIANTS TO PICK
WINNERS AND LOSERS THROUGHOUT
OUR ECONOMY.
AND I KNOW, FOR SOME, THAT'S
PART OF THE APPEAL.
>> APPLE'S THE EMPIRE OF THE
SMARTPHONE WITH ALL ITS
ATTENDANT SERVICES.
FACEBOOK IS THE REPOSITORY OF
YOUR IDENTITY.
AMAZON'S THE ONLINE WORLD
BACKED BY CLOUD INFRASTRUCTURE.
AND ALPHABET IS ALL THINGS
SEARCH.
NOW, THESE COMPANIES HAVE ALL
CREATED INCREDIBLE PRODUCTS THAT
WE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
THEY ARE GARGANTUAN BUSINESSES
THAT ARE, FOR THE MOST PART,
LOVED AND RESPECTED BY THE MOST
IMPORTANT PEOPLE, THEIR
CUSTOMERS.
ARE THEY MONOPOLISTS?
I HONESTLY DON'T CARE!
I DON'T!
WAKE ME UP WHEN SOMEONE ELSE CAN
DO IT BETTER!
>> John: OKAY, THERE ARE A FEW
PROBLEMS WITH THAT.
FIRST, IN ORDER TO BE WOKEN UP,
AT SOME POINT YOU DO NEED TO GO
TO SLEEP, SOMETHING I FEEL LIKE
JIM CRAMER -- A MAN WHO
CONSTANTLY EXUDES BIG "RUNNING
LATE TO MY CHILD'S THING"
ENERGY -- HASN'T DONE IN THE
LAST DECADE.
BUT SECOND, A BIG THING THESE
COMPANIES ARE ACCUSED OF DOING
IS SUPPRESSING THEIR COMPETITION
SO COMPLETELY THAT WE'D NEVER
ACTUALLY KNOW IF SOMEONE ELSE
COULD DO IT BETTER, BECAUSE
THEY'LL NEVER GET A FAIR CHANCE
TO TRY.
THAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE.
IT'S NOT THAT TECH COMPANIES ARE
INHERENTLY BAD BECAUSE THEY ARE
BIG -- IT'S THAT THEY'RE
ENGAGING IN ANTICOMPETITIVE
BEHAVIOR.
AND HERE'S WHERE, UNUSUALLY, I
MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE SOME GOOD
NEWS.
BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO BILLS
BEFORE CONGRESS RIGHT NOW WITH
BIPARTISAN SUPPORT THAT COULD
CURTAIL AT LEAST SOME OF BIG
TECH'S EXCESSES.
BUT FOR REASONS WE'LL GET INTO
LATER, IF THEY DON'T PASS IN THE
NEXT MONTH OR SO, THEY'RE NOT
LIKELY TO PASS AT ALL.
SO, TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
TECH MONOPOLIES, THE HIDDEN HARM
THEY CAN DO, AND HOW BEST TO
ADDRESS THAT.
AND LET'S START WITH A TINY BIT
OF HISTORY.
BECAUSE IN THE PAST, THE U.S.
HAS ACTUALLY TAKEN STRONG ACTION
TO BREAK UP HARMFUL MONOPOLIES.
IN THE EARLY 20TH CENTURY, WE
BROKE UP STANDARD OIL.
AND AS RECENTLY AS 40 YEARS
AGO, THE GOVERNMENT TOOK ACTION
AGAINST, WHO ELSE, BUT AT&T, OUR
BUSINESS DADDY WHO LEFT FOR
CIGARETTES AND NEVER CAME HOME.
[LAUGHTER]
THEY WERE ACTUALLY THE LARGEST
FIRM ON THE PLANET, BACK THEN,
AND BROADLY WELL-RESPECTED AND
CONSIDERED GOOD.
WHICH IS TO SAY, COMPLETELY
UNRECOGNIZABLE FROM THE AT&T OF
TODAY.
BUT CRUCIALLY, THAT POPULARITY
MAY WELL HAVE BEEN BECAUSE
PEOPLE HAD NO ALTERNATIVES.
YOU HAD TO RENT YOUR PHONE FROM
AT&T, AND THEY WERE IN CHARGE OF
BOTH LOCAL AND LONG-DISTANCE
SERVICES, WHICH, AS WE NOW KNOW,
WERE WILDLY OVERPRICED.
AND WHEN MCI -- A MUCH SMALLER
COMPANY -- TRIED TO OFFER
LONG-DISTANCE PHONE SERVICE AT A
LOWER RATE, AT&T WAS NOT HAVING
IT.
>> MCI, WHICH CHARGES UP TO 50%
LESS THAN BELL, ARGUED THAT AT&T
TRIED TO PUT IT OUT OF BUSINESS
BY REFUSING TO PROVIDE EQUIPMENT
NEEDED FOR LONG-DISTANCE
TRANSMISSION.
A KEY EXHIBIT: AT&T'S OWN NOTES
OF A 1972 FLORIDA MEETING BY
COMPANY EXECUTIVES IN WHICH ONE
SAID, "LET'S CHOKE THEM OFF
BEFORE THEY GET STARTED."
>> John: NOW, OBVIOUSLY: FUCK
AT&T NOW AND FOREVER.
BUT IS THAT WHAT THAT SAID?
THE ONLY BITS OF SQUIGGLE I CAN
DECODE THERE ARE THE WORDS,
"DANGEROUS TO SAMANTHAS,"
A DOLLAR SIGN, SOMETHING THAT
WEIRDLY MIGHT BE COVID, AND
THEN SOMETHING THAT'S
DEFINITELY, NO QUESTION,
CAPITAL-B "BALLS."
[LAUGHTER]
THE DOJ THEN ACTUALLY FILED AN
ANTITRUST LAWSUIT, WHICH AT&T
FOUGHT VIGOROUSLY FOR A DECADE.
AND WHEN, IN 1984, IT WAS
FORMALLY BROKEN UP BY THE
GOVERNMENT, AT&T'S CHAIRMAN
WARNED THE PUBLIC THAT WE'D COME
TO REGRET WHAT HAD JUST
HAPPENED.
>> OH, I'VE HAD THE CONVICTION
AND TAKEN THE POSITION IN MORE
THAN ONE FORUM THAT THE COUNTRY
IN THE LONG RUN WILL BE SORRY.
I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO
BELIEVE -- DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE
THAT THINGS WILL WORK AS WELL IN
THE FUTURE AS THEY HAVE IN
THE PAST.
>> John: YEAH, BUT HE WAS WRONG.
THINGS ACTUALLY WORKED BETTER.
BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT, ENDING A
MONOPOLY IS ALMOST ALWAYS A GOOD
THING, WHETHER IT'S AT&T OR
STANDARD OIL, OR LITERALLY ANY
GAME OF MONOPOLY.
WE DIDN'T KNOW IT AT THE TIME,
BUT AT&T'S DOMINANCE WAS
SERIOUSLY HOLDING BACK
INNOVATION.
BUT AS SOON AS IT WASN'T
CONTROLLING THE PHONE LINES AND
WHAT YOU COULD ATTACH TO ITS
NETWORK, MANY NEW PRODUCTS
STARTED PROLIFERATING, FROM THE
ANSWERING MACHINE TO THE MODEM.
THE BREAKUP OF AT&T WAS ACTUALLY
A KEY STEP IN PRODUCING THE
INTERNET REVOLUTION, GIVING US
THE WEB AS WE NOW KNOW IT, AND
PETER THE ABILITY TO LOOK UP
SPORTS STATS, SURFING SPOTS,
AND WHAT WE ALL KNOW HE WAS
REALLY DOING THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
THE POINT IS, WHEN HARMFUL
MONOPOLIES END, INNOVATION
FLOURISHES.
AND I WANT YOU TO BEAR THAT IN
MIND AS WE TALK ABOUT THE
MONOPOLIES OF TODAY: TECH
COMPANIES.
AND TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS
ON JUST ONE WAY THEY USE THEIR
MONOPOLY POWER, SOMETHING CALLED
"SELF-PREFERENCING."
IT'S WHERE COMPANIES UNFAIRLY
FAVOR THEIR OWN PRODUCTS ON
THEIR OWN PLATFORMS, WHICH HAVE
BECOME SO BIG MOST OF US HAVE NO
CHOICE BUT TO USE THEM.
THIS IS A PARTICULARLY BIG
PROBLEM WITH THESE THREE
COMPANIES, AND WE'RE GOING TO
START WITH APPLE.
SPECIFICALLY, ITS APP STORE,
WHICH IS BASICALLY THE ONLY
PLACE TO DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE FOR
YOUR iPHONE.
WHICH IS ALREADY A LITTLE WEIRD
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, RIGHT?
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD ANY SOFTWARE
YOU LIKE TO YOUR DESKTOP
COMPUTER, BUT IF YOU HAVE AN
iPHONE, APPLE HAS SET IT UP SO
THAT ITS APP STORE IS THE ONLY
GAME IN TOWN.
AND APPLE'S BEEN ACCUSED OF
UNFAIRLY PUSHING ITS OWN APPS TO
THE TOP OF SEARCH RESULTS.
THE COMPANY DENIES DOING THIS,
BUT "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL"
FOUND APPLE APPS THAT GENERATE
REVENUE THROUGH SUBSCRIPTIONS OR
SALES, LIKE MUSIC OR BOOKS,
SHOWED UP FIRST IN 95% OF
SEARCHES RELATED TO THOSE APPS.
BUT REGARDLESS, PERHAPS MORE
IMPORTANT IS THE STRANGLEHOLD
APPLE HAS ON DEVELOPERS WHO WANT
TO GET THEIR APPS ONTO YOUR
PHONE.
BECAUSE THEY ARE REQUIRED TO USE
APPLE'S PAYMENT PROCESSOR, WHICH
TAKES A HUGE PIECE OF EVERY
DOLLAR THAT CUSTOMERS SPEND ON
THOSE APPS AND ANY DIGITAL
PURCHASES WITHIN THEM.
>> APPLE TAKES A 30% COMMISSION
ON SALES OF APPS AND IN-APP
PURCHASES.
SO, IF AN APP COSTS $4.99
UPFRONT, APPLE COLLECTS $1.50.
SAME GOES FOR IF YOU USE AN
APP TO BUY DIGITAL GOODS, LIKE
VIRTUAL WEAPONS, OR SIGN UP FOR
A SUBSCRIPTION TO A MONTHLY
SERVICE.
>> John: IT'S TRUE.
AND THAT WAS PRETTY SHOCKING TO
ME.
IT MEANS EVERY TIME SOMEONE
SPENT MONEY ON THE JEREMY RENNER
APP, SOMETHING REAL PEOPLE
ACTUALLY DID, TO BOOST THEIR
POSTS ABOUT HIM SO THEY COULD
#BeSeen BY JEREMY RENNER --
AGAIN, SOMETHING HUMANS
WANTED -- IN AMOUNTS RANGING
FROM $1.99 TO NEARLY 100 ACTUAL
DOLLARS, APPLE GOT A CUT.
AND THAT IS BLOOD MONEY RIGHT
THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
APPLE MAKES LITERALLY BILLIONS
EVERY YEAR, JUST ON COMMISSIONS
ON APP STORE PURCHASES.
AND SOME APP DEVELOPERS HAVE
TRIED TO FIND WAYS AROUND THIS.
TINDER, FOR INSTANCE, CHARGES A
HIGHER PRICE IF YOU SUBSCRIBE
THROUGH THE APP THAN IF YOU DO
IT ON THEIR WEBSITE.
AND IF YOU OPEN NETFLIX ON YOUR
iPHONE AND DON'T HAVE AN
ACCOUNT, YOU GET A MESSAGE
READING, "TRYING TO JOIN
NETFLIX?
YOU CAN'T SIGN UP FOR NETFLIX IN
THE APP.
WE KNOW IT'S A HASSLE.
AFTER YOU'RE A MEMBER, YOU CAN
START WATCHING IN THE APP."
AND YOU CAN SEE WHY NETFLIX
WOULD DO THAT.
IT DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE A
THIRD OF ITS SUBSCRIPTION
REVENUE TO APPLE.
IT NEEDS THAT MONEY TO PROMOTE
ITS NETFLIX PRIDE MONTH
COLLECTION!
WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY GREAT --
SIMPLY SCROLL BY THE DOZEN
STANDUP SPECIALS
MOCKING THE TRANS COMMUNITY AND
IT'S RIGHT THERE!
SHINE WITH PRIDE, GUYS!
AND WHILE APPLE WILL SAY IT'S
LOWERED ITS COMMISSIONS FOR
CERTAIN SMALL APP DEVELOPERS,
AND NOW EVEN ALLOWS SOME APPS TO
LINK TO AN EXTERNAL WEBSITE AND
BYPASS COMMISSIONS, A KEY REASON
THAT HAPPENED IS THAT THEY WERE
PUT UNDER EXTREME PRESSURE, FROM
LAWSUITS AND FROM REGULATORS
OVERSEAS.
AND IF YOU ARE THINKING,
APPLE'S NOT THE ONLY GAME IN
TOWN, WHAT ABOUT GOOGLE'S APP
STORE?
THEY CHARGE SIMILARLY HIGH
COMMISSIONS TO DEVELOPERS.
AND THE FACT IS, OVER 99% OF
SMARTPHONES ARE PART OF EITHER
GOOGLE'S OR APPLE'S APP
ECOSYSTEM.
LET'S ACTUALLY TALK A BIT ABOUT
GOOGLE NOW.
BECAUSE THEIR APP STORE IS
CLEARLY ONLY A SMALL PART OF
THEIR STORY.
AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW, THEY
ABSOLUTELY DOMINATE ONLINE
SEARCHES.
>> LAST YEAR, GOOGLE
CONDUCTED 90% OF THE WORLD'S
INTERNET SEARCHES.
WHEN BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ASKED
TRILLIONS OF QUESTIONS, IT WAS
GOOGLE THAT PROVIDED THE
ANSWERS, USING COMPUTER
ALGORITHMS KNOWN ONLY TO GOOGLE.
>> THEY HAVE THIS PHRASE THEY
USE, "COMPETITION IS JUST A
CLICK AWAY."
THEY HAVE NO COMPETITION.
BING, THEIR COMPETITION, HAS 2%
OF THE MARKET.
THEY HAVE 90%.
>> John: EXACTLY, PEOPLE USE
GOOGLE TO THE EXTENT "GOOGLING"
SOMETHING IS NOW A VERB.
YOU CAN'T SAY THAT FOR ANY OTHER
SEARCH ENGINE.
NO ONE HAS EVER SAID "I'M GOING
TO BING IT," EXCEPT FOR MAYBE
BING CROSBY ANNOUNCING HE'S
ABOUT TO MASTURBATE.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THAT'S IT!
AND GOOGLE HAS EXPLOITED THEIR
MARKET DOMINANCE IN SUBTLE WAYS,
HAVING TO DO WITH THE SEARCH
RESULTS THAT IT SHOWS YOU.
BECAUSE IT USED TO BE, WHEN YOU
GOOGLED SOMETHING, YOU GOT
A PAGE THAT LOOKED LIKE THIS:
A SERIES OF BLUE LINKS TO
VARIOUS PAGES ACROSS THE
INTERNET THAT GOOGLE'S ALGORITHM
HAD DETERMINED TO BE THE MOST
RELEVANT.
AND THAT WAS THE COMPANY'S GOAL
AT THE TIME.
AS ITS CO-FOUNDER LARRY PAGE
SAID IN 2004, "MOST PORTALS SHOW
THEIR OWN CONTENT ABOVE CONTENT
ELSEWHERE ON THE WEB.
WE FEEL THAT'S A CONFLICT OF
INTEREST.
WE WANT TO GET YOU OUT OF
GOOGLE AND TO THE RIGHT PLACE AS
FAST AS POSSIBLE."
BUT WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR
SOMETHING TODAY, YOU GET A LOT
OF GOOGLE CONTENT BEFORE
ANYTHING ELSE APPEARS.
IN FACT, "THE MARKUP" FOUND
GOOGLE DEVOTES 41% OF THE FIRST
PAGE OF SEARCH RESULTS ON MOBILE
DEVICES TO ITS OWN PROPERTIES
AND WHAT IT CALLS "DIRECT
ANSWERS" MEANING A USER WOULD
HAVE TO SCROLL NEARLY HALFWAY
DOWN THE PAGE BEFORE REACHING
THE FIRST ORGANIC RESULT IN THAT
SEARCH.
NOW, GOOGLE DISPUTES THEIR
METHODOLOGY, BUT THINK ABOUT
WHAT IT IS LIKE WHEN YOU SEARCH
FOR SOMETHING.
LET'S SAY YOU WANT TO LOOK UP
DOLPHINS.
SO YOU GOOGLE "DOLPHIN ANIMAL",
AND YOU GET THIS, A BUNCH OF
PICTURES OF DOLPHINS ON GOOGLE
IMAGES.
A BUNCH OF BUTTONS UP TOP LIKE
"SOUNDS" THAT MOSTLY LEAD YOU
TO VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE -- ALSO
OWNED BY GOOGLE, BY THE WAY --
A SECTION ON THE RIGHT SIDE
THAT'S MOSTLY LINKS TO RELATED
GOOGLE SEARCHES, LIKE "ORCA" OR
"AMAZON RIVER DOLPHIN" AND
A BOX OF DIRECT ANSWERS TO
QUESTIONS PEOPLE HAVE ASKED
ABOUT DOLPHINS, LIKE
"WHAT ARE FIVE INTERESTING FACTS
ABOUT DOLPHINS?" OR
"IS DOLPHIN A FRIENDLY ANIMAL?"
OR "CAN A DOLPHIN LOVE YOU?"
AND WHILE YOU'VE NEVER EVEN
THOUGHT OF THAT AS POSSIBILITY,
SUDDENLY, YOU'RE CURIOUS.
SO YOU CLICK ON IT, AND IT SAYS
"DOLPHINS HAVE ALSO SHOWN LOVING
EMOTIONS TOWARDS HUMANS."
AND YOUR HEART KIND OF FLUTTERS
FOR A MOMENT, WHO KNEW THAT
THERE WAS ROOM IN A DOLPHIN'S
HEART FOR LOVE?
MAYBE THERE IS ROOM IN ONE FOR
YOU?
THEN YOU SEE MORE QUESTIONS LIKE
"DO DOLPHINS PROTECT HUMANS?"
WHICH THEY MUST, RIGHT?
AFTER ALL, WE JUST LEARNED THEY
CAN LOVE US.
BUT THE ANSWER IS "THERE JUST
ISN'T ANY RELIABLE EVIDENCE THAT
IT'S TRUE."
AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
THEY'RE WILLING TO LOVE, BUT NOT
PROTECT US?
THEY'RE JUST GOING TO THROW OUR
LOVE AWAY?
AND AS THE FEELING OF
BETRAYAL CREEPS IN, YOU SEE THAT
OTHERS HAVE SEARCHED "ARE
DOLPHINS EVIL?"
AND THE ANSWER IS, "DOLPHINS
HAVE A HUGE CAPACITY FOR EVIL."
WHICH, OF COURSE THEY DO.
THEY'RE MONSTERS WITH NO
UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU MIGHT'VE
OPENED UP TO THEM, FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN A LONG TIME, AND THEY'D
ABANDON YOU LIKE YOU'RE NOTHING?
AND THEN YOU SEE "WHAT DO
DOLPHINS THINK OF HUMANS?"
AND YOU CAN BARELY EVEN BREATHE
AS YOU OPEN THIS ONE, BUT YOU
KNOW THE TRUTH BEFORE IT EVEN
APPEARS: "DOLPHINS ARE
ESSENTIALLY BRIBED WITH FISH TO
INTERACT WITH HUMANS."
AND EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE HURT, AT
LEAST YOU CAN ACCEPT THAT IT'S
NOT ACTUALLY YOU, IT WAS NEVER
YOU, IT WAS THE FUCKING DOLPHIN!
[LAUGHTER]
AND THE POINT IS, THROUGHOUT
THAT WHOLE EMOTIONAL
ROLLERCOASTER, YOU NEVER EVEN
LEFT GOOGLE!
IN FACT, ONE ANALYSIS FOUND THAT
TWO-THIRDS OF SEARCHES ON GOOGLE
ENDED WITHOUT EVER CLICKING TO
ANOTHER WEB PROPERTY.
AND THE THING IS, INFORMATION
THAT GOOGLE FEEDS YOU IN
SEARCHES LIKE THAT MAY HAVE BEEN
COPIED FROM OTHER SOURCES,
SOMETIMES WITHOUT THEIR
KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT.
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, WELL,
IT'S FREE INFORMATION, WHY DOES
IT MATTER IF I READ IT ON GOOGLE
OR ON THE SITE THEY TOOK IT
FROM?
SITE TRAFFIC IS ONE OF THE MAJOR
TOOLS THAT MANY WEBSITES,
ESPECIALLY FREE ONES, USE TO
SELL AD SPACE, SO TAKING AWAY
VISITORS TO THEIR SITE IS
ESSENTIALLY TAKING MONEY OUT OF
THEIR POCKET.
AND WHEN YELP EXPLICITLY REFUSED
TO HAVE THEIR DATA SCRAPED,
GOOGLE TOLD THEM THE ONLY WAY TO
HAVE THEIR SITE'S CONTENT
REMOVED WAS FOR IT TO BE REMOVED
FROM GOOGLE'S GENERAL RESULTS
ENTIRELY.
AND AS THE CEO OF YELP EXPLAINS,
THAT IS BASICALLY A DEATH
SENTENCE.
>> HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT FIRST
PAGE?
>> IT'S NOT EVEN JUST THE FIRST
PAGE.
IT'S THE FIRST FEW LINKS ON THE
PAGE IS THE VAST MAJORITY OF
WHERE USER ATTENTION GOES, AND
WHERE THE TRAFFIC FLOWS.
>> SO, IF YOU'RE NOT AT THE
TOP OF THE PAGE, OR AT THE
BOTTOM OF THE FIRST PAGE, OR ON
THE SECOND PAGE, THAT'S GOING TO
AFFECT YOUR BUSINESS?
>> YEAH, IF YOU'RE ON THE SECOND
PAGE, FORGET IT, YOU'RE NOT A
REAL BUSINESS.
>> John: EXACTLY.
AND PUTTING THE MERITS OF YELP
ASIDE, GOOGLE'S ALGORITHM
SHOULDN'T DETERMINE WHETHER OR
NOT SOMEONE'S BUSINESS IS REAL.
FRANKLY, THAT DISTINCTION SHOULD
ONLY BE WITHHELD IF SOMEONE'S
BUSINESS INCLUDES THE WORDS
"INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER."
BECAUSE THAT IS NOT A JOB,
YOU'RE NOT A BUSINESS, YOU'RE
JUST ATTRACTIVE, INDEPENDENTLY
WEALTHY, AND IT'S SUNNY OUTSIDE.
THAT IS ALL THAT IS HAPPENING
THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
AND BEFORE JIM CRAMER SAYS "WHO
CARES, BUILD A BETTER PRODUCT
AND YOU'LL LAND ON THE FRONT
PAGE," THE TOP RESULTS
GOOGLE FEEDS YOU MAY NOT
BE THE BEST ONES.
TAKE GOOGLE FLIGHTS.
IT USED TO BE, IF YOU GOOGLED
"NYC TO BOISE," YOUR TOP RESULTS
WOULD BE LINKS TO SITES LIKE
THESE.
BUT NOW, YOU'LL ALMOST ALWAYS
GET THIS GOOGLE FLIGHTS WIDGET
AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE, ALREADY
SET UP SO THAT YOU CAN CAN STAY
ON GOOGLE AND FIND A FLIGHT
WITHOUT CLICKING ANYWHERE ELSE.
AND WHILE YOU, PERSONALLY, MIGHT
SCROLL DOWN PAST THAT, MANY
DON'T.
AND THE INDUSTRY HAS FELT THIS.
AS ONE TRAVEL ANALYST WROTE,
"THE FACT THAT GOOGLE IS
LEVERAGING ITS DOMINANCE AS A
SEARCH ENGINE INTO TAKING MARKET
SHARE AWAY FROM TRAVEL
COMPETITORS IS NO LONGER EVEN
DEBATABLE."
AND GOOGLE MIGHT SAY THAT IT'S
AT THE TOP BECAUSE IT'S THE
BEST.
BUT "THE MARKUP" FOUND GOOGLE
FLIGHTS DID NOT ALWAYS DISPLAY
THE CHEAPEST FARES, OR ALL
AVAILABLE FLIGHTS.
THOUGH I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS WHY
GOOGLE FLIGHTS' BANNER IMAGE IS
A WOMAN AND A CHILD HIKING
SOMEWHERE WHILE POINTING AT AN
AIRPLANE THAT THEY ARE NOT ON,
SEEMINGLY SAYING, "WHAT THE
FUCK?
THERE ARE FLIGHTS HERE?
[LAUGHTER]
GOOGLE TOLD US OUR BEST OPTION
WAS TO WALK TO DENVER!"
NOW, GOOGLE, LIKE APPLE, WILL
QUIBBLE WITH A LOT OF WHAT I'VE
JUST SAID.
THEY'LL TELL YOU THEY SEND
BILLIONS OF CLICKS OUTSIDE OF
GOOGLE EVERY DAY, AND THAT THEY
DON'T PREFERENCE GOOGLE FLIGHTS
IN SEARCHES, WHICH...
OKAY!
OKAY, GOOGLE!
THEY'LL ALSO TELL YOU
YELP AND OTHER COMPANIES CAN NOW
SELECT WHICH OF THEIR
INFORMATION GETS SCRAPED, THOUGH
THAT ONLY HAPPENED UNDER SERIOUS
PRESSURE FROM THE FTC.
AND IF YOU'RE NOTICING A THEME
HERE THAT THESE COMPANIES ONLY
DO THE RIGHT THING WHEN THEY'RE
PUSHED UP AGAINST THE WALL,
THAT'S A LITTLE BIT THE POINT.
BUT ARGUABLY THE COMPANY MOST
GUILTY OF SELF-PREFERENCING IS
AMAZON, FOUNDED, OF COURSE, BY
A MAN RICH ENOUGH TO BUY
ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING, INCLUDING,
SEEMINGLY, THE RIGHTS TO
PITBULL'S IDENTITY.
[LAUGHTER]
AMAZON REPORTEDLY CONTROLS
65% TO 70% OF ALL U.S. ONLINE
MARKETPLACE SALES.
IT HOSTS ABOUT 2.3 MILLION
ACTIVE THIRD-PARTY SELLERS FROM
ALL AROUND THE WORLD, AND TO
THOSE SELLERS, LIKE THIS MAN,
WHO SOLD SPORTING GOODS, IT'S
CLOSE TO THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN.
>> YOU'VE GOT TO BE ON AMAZON.
YOU HAVE TO BE THERE, BECAUSE
THAT'S WHERE EVERYONE IS.
100 MILLION PRIME SUBSCRIBERS.
>> THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT THERE
ARE OPTIONS.
THERE IS WALMART, THERE IS ALLIE
BABA.
>> I'VE HEARD THAT RESPONSE FROM
AMAZON EXECUTIVES BEFORE.
AND WE DID THAT.
>> WE LISTED ALL
OF OUR PRODUCTS ON EVERY OTHER
ONLINE MARKETPLACE.
ALL OF THE OTHERS THAT WERE
NON-AMAZON, COMBINED, DID ABOUT
10% OF WHAT WE WERE DOING ON
AMAZON.
>> John: EXACTLY, AMAZON IS
ESSENTIALLY THE ONLY PLACE TO
SELL ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET,
UNLESS, THAT IS, YOU'RE LOOKING
TO OFFLOAD SOME HUMAN TEETH.
THEN IT'S CRAIGSLIST ALL THE
WAY, BABY!
[LAUGHTER]
AND FOR A THIRD-PARTY SELLER,
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE
WORLD IS SOMETHING CALLED THE
"BUY BOX."
IT'S THAT LITTLE BOX THAT SHOWS
UP ON ANY AMAZON PRODUCT PAGE,
WHERE YOU CAN INSTANTLY CLICK TO
BUY.
SO WHEN WE SEARCHED FOR DURACELL
AAA BATTERIES, WE GOT
THIS PAGE, AND HERE'S THE BUY
BOX, RIGHT HERE, WHERE WITH ONE
CLICK, WE COULD BUY A PACK FOR
$14.
AND YOU MIGHT ASSUME THAT'S THE
BEST DEAL, BUT IF YOU CLICK
ON THIS LITTLE BOX BELOW, YOU
CAN SEE MULTIPLE OTHER SELLERS
WHO ARE OFFERING THE SAME
PRODUCT, MANY AT A LOWER PRICE.
THE PROBLEM IS, MOST PEOPLE
AREN'T GOING TO SEE THAT,
BECAUSE AN ESTIMATED 80% OF
AMAZON SALES GO THROUGH THAT
FIRST BUY BOX, AND IT'S EVEN
MORE FOR MOBILE PURCHASES.
BECAUSE IF WE'VE LEARNED
ANYTHING SO FAR TONIGHT IT'S
THAT NOBODY EVER, EVER WANTS TO
SCROLL DOWN.
SO OUT OF ALL THOSE SELLERS,
ONLY ONE OF THEM GETS TO BE IN
THAT BOX.
AND NOBODY EXCEPT AMAZON KNOWS
HOW ITS ALGORITHM PICKS THE
WINNER.
BUT IT SURE SEEMS TO
CONSISTENTLY FAVOR AMAZON, WITH
ONE ANALYSIS FINDING THE COMPANY
CHOSE ITSELF FOR THE BUY BOX FOR
ABOUT 40% OF PRODUCTS, WHILE THE
NEXT HIGHEST SELLER GOT IT IN
JUST HALF OF ONE PERCENT OF
POPULAR PRODUCTS.
AND EVEN WHEN THE BUY BOX DID
GO TO A THIRD-PARTY SELLER,
NINE OUT OF TEN TIMES, IT WENT
TO THOSE THAT USED AMAZON'S
SHIPPING SERVICE, FULFILLED BY
AMAZON.
BASICALLY, IT IS AMAZON'S
PLAYGROUND, THEY MAKE THE RULES,
AND THEY DO SEEM TO WIN A LOT OF
THE TIME.
AND AS THIS EXPERT POINTS OUT,
IF THEY'RE COMPETING WITH YOU,
YOU'RE BASICALLY DEAD.
>> THIRD-PARTY SELLERS HAVE TOLD
ME THAT ONCE THEY SEE THAT
AMAZON IS SELLING THE SAME GOOD
THAT THEY'RE SELLING, THEY
LIQUIDATE THEIR INVENTORY.
THEY KNOW IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO
COMPETE AGAINST AMAZON ON
AMAZON'S OWN PLATFORM.
>> John: OF COURSE.
THINK ABOUT IT, OF COURSE IT IS.
YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
AMAZON IS TO RETAILERS WHAT
DOLPHINS ARE TO THE HUMAN HEART.
[LAUGHTER]
IF THEY TAKE AN INTEREST IN YOU,
YOU ARE GOING TO WIND UP
DEVASTATED.
FUCK YOU, FLIPPER!
[LAUGHTER]
AND THE THING IS, AMAZON ISN'T
JUST A MARKETPLACE OR INDEED A
SHIPPING COMPANY, IT ALSO
STARTED COMING UP WITH ITS OWN
PRODUCTS NOW.
BECAUSE IT CURRENTLY HAS
APPROXIMATELY 158,000
PRIVATE LABEL PRODUCTS ACROSS 45
IN-HOUSE BRANDS.
AND IT'S BEEN ACCUSED OF
PREFERENCING THEM OVER ITS
COMPETITORS -- OR EVEN WORSE,
MAKING CLEAR KNOCKOFFS OF
PRODUCTS THAT'VE BEEN
SUCCESSFULLY SOLD ON ITS
WEBSITE.
TAKE A SMALL COMPANY CALLED
PEAK DESIGN.
IT MADE THIS CAMERA BAG, AND
WHEN IT NOTICED A SUSPICIOUSLY
SIMILAR BAG BEING SOLD BY
AMAZON, IT MADE THIS PRETTY
DECENT, SNARKY VIDEO IN
RESPONSE.
>> THIS IS THE EVERYDAY SLING BY
PEAK DESIGN.
AND THIS IS THE EVERYDAY SLING
BY AMAZON BASICS.
IT LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE
THE PEAK DESIGN EVERYDAY SLING,
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR
ALL THOSE NEEDLESS BELLS AND
WHISTLES, LIKE YEARS OF RESEARCH
AND DEVELOPMENT, RECYCLED
BLUESIGN-APPROVED MATERIALS, A
LIFETIME WARRANTY, FAIRLY PAID
FACTORY WORKERS, AND TOTAL
CARBON NEUTRALITY.
INSTEAD, YOU JUST GET A BAG
DESIGNED BY THE CRACK TEAM AT
THE AMAZON BASICS DEPARTMENT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: YEAH, IT SURE SEEMS
AMAZON IS PUTTING OUT A CHEAP
COPY WITH ESSENTIALLY THE SAME
NAME AND DESIGN.
AND IT'S PRETTY WEIRD THAT ONE
OF THE BIGGEST COMPANIES IN THE
WORLD SEEMS TO BE USING THE SAME
STRATEGY AS KNOCKOFF DVDs
DESIGNED TO CONFUSE PARENTS.
"HEY KIDS, WE GOT YOU THE MOVIES
YOU ASKED FOR: RATATOUILLE,
TRANSMORPHERS, AND CHOP KICK
PANDA!
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
IT'S WHAT YOU WANTED"
AND AMAZON HAS A HUGE ADVANTAGE
OVER ITS COMPETITORS, BECAUSE IT
RUNS THE MARKETPLACE, AND HAS
ACCESS TO ALL THE INDEPENDENT
SELLER DATA -- LIKE,
HYPOTHETICALLY, WHAT BAG IS
PROVING POPULAR.
AND LOOK, AMAZON DENIES THAT
THEY PREFERENCE THEMSELVES,
THEIR OWN PRODUCTS, OR SELLERS
THAT PAY FOR THEIR LOGISTICS
SERVICES.
AND THEY ALSO DENY RIPPING OFF
PRODUCTS BASED ON INTERNAL DATA,
THOUGH WHEN JEFF BEZOS WAS ASKED
ABOUT THAT DIRECTLY, HIS ANSWER
WASN'T GREAT.
>> LET ME ASK YOU, MR. BEZOS,
DOES AMAZON EVER ACCESS AND USE
THIRD-PARTY SELLER DATA WHEN
MAKING BUSINESS DECISIONS?
AND JUST A "YES" OR "NO" WILL
SUFFICE, SIR.
>> I CAN'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION
"YES" OR "NO."
WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS WE HAVE A
POLICY AGAINST USING
SELLER-SPECIFIC DATA TO AID OUR
PRIVATE LABEL BUSINESS.
BUT I CAN'T GUARANTEE YOU THAT
THAT POLICY HAS NEVER BEEN
VIOLATED.
>> John: NOT GREAT, JEFF!
"WE HAVE A POLICY BUT I CAN'T
GUARANTEE YOU IT HASN'T BEEN
VIOLATED" HAS GOTTA BE ONE OF
THE MOST INCRIMINATING WAYS TO
ANSWER A QUESTION.
IT'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH
ANSWERING "DID YOU BREAK THE
LAW?" WITH "WHICH LAW?"
LOOK, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR HERE:
SELF-PREFERENCING STIFLES
COMPETITION, HURTS SMALL
BUSINESS AND OFTEN RESULTS IN
SERVING CONSUMERS AN INFERIOR
PRODUCT.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO?
WELL, THAT BRINGS ME TO THE GOOD
NEWS I MENTIONED EARLIER.
BECAUSE THESE TWO BILLS ARE
CURRENTLY BEFORE CONGRESS, AND
WOULD ADDRESS SOME OF THE
PROBLEMS YOU'VE SEEN TONIGHT.
AMONG OTHER THINGS, THEY'D STOP
MASSIVE COMPANIES THAT OPERATE
APP STORES, LIKE APPLE AND
GOOGLE, FROM REQUIRING
DEVELOPERS TO USE THE COMPANY'S
OWN IN-APP PAYMENT PROCESSOR,
AND THEY'D BAN ADVANTAGING A
PLATFORM'S OWN PRODUCTS,
SERVICES, OR LINES OF BUSINESS
OVER THOSE OF A RIVAL.
AND UNSURPRISINGLY, TECH
COMPANIES ARE FIGHTING THESE
BILLS HARD, MAKING THE SAME
ARGUMENTS THAT AT&T MADE 40
YEARS AGO -- THAT IF YOU TAMPER
WITH THEM, THINGS WON'T WORK AS
WELL IN THE FUTURE AS THEY DID
IN THE PAST.
ALTHOUGH THIS TIME, THEY ALSO
HAVE TRADE GROUPS RUNNING
RIDICULOUS ADS LIKE THIS:
>> WASHINGTON IS FULL OF
PROBLEMS, NOT SOLUTIONS.
EVERY TIME THEY GET INVOLVED IN
A NEW AREA OF OUR LIVES, THEY
JUST SEEM TO MAKE THINGS WORSE.
AND NOW, POLITICIANS ARE
BOASTING ABOUT A PLAN TO CONTROL
MY DEVICES AND HOW I USE THEM?
[LAUGHTER]
THEIR SILLY IDEAS COULD RUIN
SOME OF THE SERVICES THAT I RELY
ON.
IF I NEED DIRECTIONS, I SIMPLY
CLICK ONE BUTTON AND IT GETS ME
STRAIGHT TO WHERE I NEED TO GO.
IN THEIR SEARCH FOR POPULARITY
AND POWER, D.C. DOESN'T CARE
WHETHER THEY MESS UP WHAT I NEED
FROM THE INTERNET.
MY MESSAGE TO WASHINGTON: FOCUS
ON FIXING AMERICA'S REAL
PROBLEMS.
AND LEAVE MY PHONE ALONE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: WHAT IS GOING ON WITH
THAT UNSETTLING MAN?
"FOCUS ON AMERICA'S REAL
PROBLEMS, LIKE ME, AND WHATEVER
MY DEAL IS, BECAUSE WHAT IS
GOING ON WITH ME?
WHAT'S THAT THING IN MY TRUCK?
IS IT A TRASHCAN TAPED TO A
DESK?
A JABBA THE HUTT BARGE TAPED TO
A CHIMNEY?
ALSO, WHAT DID I JUST DO TO IT,
AND WHY?
MY BROADER POINT SEEMS TO BE I'D
LIKE GOVERNMENT TO PAY LESS
ATTENTION TO WHATEVER WEIRD SHIT
THAT I'M DEFINITELY UP TO.
BASICALLY, TO LEAVE MY PHONE AND
WHATEVER OBVIOUSLY INCRIMINATING
SHIT IS ON THERE ALONE, OR I
WILL LUNGE AT YOU.
I WILL LUNGE RIGHT AT YOU,
WASHINGTON!
[LAUGHTER]
THESE COMPANIES HAVE PUSHED SOME
WILD ARGUMENTS, FROM CLAIMING
THE BILLS WILL HELP CHINA, TO
SAYING THEY'LL SOMEHOW HURT
PEOPLE OF COLOR.
AND WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO
THROUGH EVERY BULLSHIT BOOGEYMAN
THEY'VE COME UP WITH, BUT NONE
OF THEM REALLY STAND UP, AND
SOME HAVE FALLEN APART
SPECTACULARLY.
APPLE, FOR INSTANCE, CLAIMS THEY
HAVE TO CONTROL THE APPS YOU
CAN DOWNLOAD, OTHERWISE IT
WOULD EXPOSE USERS TO SERIOUS
SECURITY RISKS.
IGNORING THE FACT THAT THESE
BILLS HAVE EXPLICIT CARVEOUTS
FOR THAT, IF APPLE COULD PROVE
THOSE RISKS GENUINELY EXIST.
AS FOR AMAZON AND GOOGLE,
THEY'VE BEEN ARGUING SMALL
BUSINESSES WOULD BE HARMED BY
THESE BILLS, FUNDING LOBBYING
GROUPS LIKE THIS ONE, THE
CONNECTED COMMERCE COUNCIL,
WHICH SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENTS
5,000 SMALL BUSINESSES WHO
ALL OPPOSE ANTITRUST REGULATION.
BUT WHEN POLITICO REACHED OUT TO
ITS MEMBERS, NEARLY ALL OF THE
BUSINESSES IT CONTACTED SAID
THEY'D NEVER HEARD OF THE
CONNECTED COMMERCE COUNCIL.
[LAUGHTER]
AND I DO GET WHY AMAZON, IN
PARTICULAR, WOULDN'T HAVE FILLED
THEM IN ABOUT IT, BECAUSE WHEN
IT DIRECTLY ASKED ITS
THIRD-PARTY SELLERS TO OPPOSE
THESE BILLS, ONE OF THEM WROTE
BACK, "ANY INFORMED SELLER IS
GOING TO SUPPORT MASSIVE ACTION
TAKEN AGAINST AMAZON IN THE
ANTITRUST ARENA.
WE ARE NOT MORONS AND KNOW
HOW TO READ AND THINK FOR
FOR OURSELVES."
WHICH IS BASICALLY A POLITE WAY
OF SAYING, "FUCK YOU AND
THE SPACESHIP YOU RODE IN ON."
THE TRUTH IS, THESE BILLS ARE
NARROW -- ARGUABLY, TOO NARROW.
BUT THAT'S PROBABLY WHY THEY
HAVE BROAD BIPARTISAN SUPPORT.
BOTH BERNIE SANDERS AND JOSH
HAWLEY WANT TO PASS THESE BILLS.
THAT'S BASICALLY THE ONLY THING
THEY HAVE IN COMMON.
APART FROM THE FACT BOTH THEIR
SMILES ARE EXCLUSIVELY UPPER
TEETH, NO LIP.
SO WHY HAVEN'T THE BILLS MOVED
FORWARD?
WELL, SOME BELIEVE IT DOESN'T
HELP THAT AT LEAST 17 MEMBERS OF
CONGRESS CURRENTLY HAVE CHILDREN
WHO WORK OR HAVE RECENTLY WORKED
FOR FOUR OF THE BIGGEST TECH
COMPANIES, INCLUDING, CRUCIALLY,
CHUCK SCHUMER'S DAUGHTERS, ONE
OF WHOM WORKS AS A MARKETING
MANAGER AT META, AND ONE OF WHOM
IS A LITERAL REGISTERED LOBBYIST
FOR AMAZON.
AND THE REASON THAT IS
INTERESTING IS BECAUSE
CHUCK SCHUMER IS THE PERSON WHO
NEEDS TO CALL THESE BILLS TO A
VOTE.
AND WHILE HE HAS CERTAINLY SAID
HE'LL DO THAT, HE HASN'T DONE IT
YET, AND IF HE DOESN'T DO IT
BEFORE CONGRESS LEAVES FOR ITS
AUGUST RECESS, THE BILLS ARE
PROBABLY DEAD, BECAUSE IN THE
FALL, EVERYONE'S GOING TO HAVE
MOVED ON TO FOCUSING ON THE
MIDTERM ELECTIONS, WHERE AS WELL
ALL KNOW, THE DEMOCRATS WILL BE
ABSOLUTELY ANNIHILATED.
SO WE HAVE A VERY SMALL WINDOW,
RIGHT NOW, TO ACTUALLY DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
AND IF ANY PART OF YOU IS
THINKING, WHO CARES?
THINGS BASICALLY WORK FINE FOR
ME RIGHT NOW.
IT'S WORTH REMEMBERING, PEOPLE
THOUGHT THINGS WORKED FINE WITH
AT&T BEFORE THEY WERE BROKEN UP,
BECAUSE THEY LITERALLY DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT THEY WERE MISSING.
THE PROBLEM WITH LETTING A FEW
COMPANIES CONTROL WHOLE SECTORS
OF THE ECONOMY IS THAT IT LIMITS
WHAT'S POSSIBLE FOR STARTUPS BY,
IF I MAY QUOTE AT&T'S
INCOHERENT MEMO, "CHOKING THEM
BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN GET
STARTED."
AN INNOVATIVE APP, OR WEBSITE,
OR PRODUCT, MIGHT NEVER GET OFF
THE GROUND, BECAUSE IT COULD BE
SURCHARGED TO DEATH, BURIED IN
SEARCH RESULTS, OR RIPPED OFF
COMPLETELY.
THESE BILLS WOULD CRACK THE DOOR
BACK OPEN FOR INNOVATION, AND
NUDGE THE INTERNET BACK TOWARD
WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FROM
THE START: A REVOLUTIONARY TOOL
THAT EXPANDS GLOBAL ACCESS TO
INFORMATION, AND THE ABSOLUTE
BEST PLACE TO RESEARCH SURFING
SPOTS.
GET YOURS, PETER.
GET YOURS.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT!
♪ ♪