1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:07,073 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:18,752 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:26,760 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:33,767 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 5 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:34,834 >> John: WELCOME, WELCOME, 6 00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:35,602 WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT." 7 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:38,571 I'M JOHN OLIVER. 8 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:39,672 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING 9 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:40,039 US. 10 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,374 IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK. 11 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,409 AND I'D LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THE 12 00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:43,610 FACT BEYONCE RELEASED A NEW 13 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:45,979 SINGLE, OR THAT THIS FLOPPY KING 14 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:46,579 BECAME THE FIRST BLOODHOUND TO 15 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:47,180 WIN THE WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW. 16 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:47,947 LOOK AT HIM! 17 00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,350 LOOK AT THAT WINGSPAN! 18 00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,318 HE LOOKS LIKE A STONED SEAPLANE! 19 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,720 BUT SADLY, I CAN'T DO THAT, 20 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:54,454 THANKS TO THE SUPREME COURT, 21 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:55,789 WHICH HAD ITSELF A BANNER 22 00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:57,624 FUCKING WEEK. 23 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:58,758 ON THURSDAY THEY STRUCK DOWN 24 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,427 NEW YORK'S CONCEALED CARRY LAW, 25 00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:01,828 THEN ON FRIDAY, ONE-UPPED 26 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,096 THEMSELVES WITH THIS: 27 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,564 >> TONIGHT, THE LANDMARK RULING. 28 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,966 THE SUPREME COURT OVERTURNING 29 00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,468 ROE V. WADE, TAKING AWAY THE 30 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:09,536 CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO 31 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,071 ABORTION. 32 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,873 THE IMPACT ROUGHLY HALF THE 33 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,575 STATES EXPECTED TO BAN ABORTION, 34 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,310 13 STATES WITH TRIGGER LAWS 35 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:17,944 BANNING ABORTION IMMEDIATELY OR 36 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:18,812 SOON. 37 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,713 >> John: YEAH. 38 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,248 IT'S ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING. 39 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,117 AND LOOK, I KNOW FOR MANY OF YOU 40 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,518 OUT THERE, THE VERY LAST THING 41 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,519 YOU NEED RIGHT NOW IS FOR SOME 42 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,587 WHITE GUY WHO'LL NEVER NEED AN 43 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,556 ABORTION TO TELL YOU HOW BAD 44 00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:31,090 THINGS ARE IN A CADENCE THAT CAN 45 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,358 BEST BE DESCRIBED AS "WHAT IF 46 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:35,462 YOU SANG JOURNEY AT KARAOKE AND 47 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:36,796 YOUR VOICE GOT STUCK," BUT WE 48 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:37,630 ARE HERE AND WE'VE GOT TO TALK 49 00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,165 ABOUT THIS. 50 00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:39,766 BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A HORRENDOUS 51 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:40,934 FEW DAYS. 52 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,569 AND WHAT'S MADE IT EVEN HARDER 53 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:43,169 HAS BEEN HAVING TO WATCH SHIT 54 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,704 LIKE THIS: 55 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,439 >> ATTORNEY GENERAL KEN PAXTON 56 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,273 SAYS HE'S CELEBRATING THE 57 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,741 SUPREME COURT OPINION TODAY. 58 00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,610 HE ACTUALLY CLOSED HIS OFFICES 59 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,511 AT NOON TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS 60 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,946 DECISION. 61 00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:55,315 HE SAYS, GOING FORWARD, JUNE 62 00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:56,549 24TH WILL BE AN ANNUAL HOLIDAY 63 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,684 FOR THE OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY 64 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:58,418 GENERAL. 65 00:01:58,485 --> 00:01:59,452 >> John: NOPE. 66 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,288 FUCK YOU. 67 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:02,755 [LAUGHTER] 68 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:03,923 FIRST, JUNE 24TH IS ALREADY A 69 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:04,858 HOLIDAY. 70 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:05,859 IT'S SOLANGE'S BIRTHDAY AND SHE 71 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:06,826 DOES NOT DESERVE THIS ON HER 72 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,863 DAY. 73 00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:11,498 SECOND, NOBODY WANTS TO GO TO A 74 00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:13,266 "SANCTITY OF LIFE ANTI-CHOICE" 75 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,300 COOKOUT, THE POTATO SALAD IS 76 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,237 GOING TO BE TRASH. 77 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,138 FINALLY, YOU DON'T GET A HOLIDAY 78 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,108 TO CELEBRATE THE LOSS OF RIGHTS 79 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:22,742 FOR MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, WHEN YOU 80 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:23,376 ALREADY HAVE ONE, AND IT'S 81 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:27,180 CALLED "COLUMBUS DAY." 82 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:27,447 [APPLAUSE] 83 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,448 IT IS HARD TO STOMACH SOME OF 84 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:29,182 THE GLEEFUL RESPONSES RIGHT NOW. 85 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:30,116 MIKE PENCE ISSUED THE STATEMENT, 86 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,150 "LIFE WON," WHICH IS PRETTY 87 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,752 TOUGH TO TAKE, GIVEN THAT FOR 88 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,786 SOME, ESPECIALLY DISABLED PEOPLE 89 00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:34,754 AND OTHER VULNERABLE GROUPS, 90 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:35,622 FORCED PREGNANCY COULD BE A 91 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,390 DEATH SENTENCE. 92 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:38,424 AND MAKE NO MISTAKE: THIS 93 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,260 DECISION IS SWEEPING. 94 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,861 IT SAYS STATES COULD LIMIT 95 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,963 ABORTION AT ALL STAGES OF 96 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:47,567 DEVELOPMENT -- PHRASING THAT 97 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,336 COULD MEAN FROM THE MOMENT OF 98 00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:50,904 CONCEPTION ONWARD, WITH NO 99 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:51,838 EXCEPTIONS. 100 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:52,772 AND WHILE THE SUPREME COURT'S 101 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:53,439 CONSTANTLY DISAPPOINTING, I 102 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,407 GUESS IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT 103 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,144 SURPRISING. 104 00:02:58,211 --> 00:02:58,912 THE INTERVIEW PROCESS WHERE 105 00:02:58,978 --> 00:02:59,879 YOU CAN SAY -- AND I QUOTE -- 106 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:00,613 "YES, WE DRANK BEER. 107 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,048 MY FRIENDS AND I. 108 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:02,448 BOYS AND GIRLS. 109 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,349 YES, WE DRANK BEER. 110 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:03,917 I LIKED BEER. 111 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,084 STILL LIKE BEER. 112 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,853 WE DRANK BEER," AND STILL GET 113 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:07,487 THE JOB, DOESN'T NECESSARILY 114 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:10,256 PRODUCE THE BEST RESULTS. 115 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,624 [LAUGHTER] 116 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,659 NOW, SOME SUPPORTERS OF THE 117 00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,361 DECISION HAVE TRIED TO MINIMIZE 118 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:16,062 ITS IMPACTS, CLAIMING IT 119 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:16,729 MERELY RETURNS THE ISSUE TO THE 120 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,064 STATES. 121 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,432 OTHERS SAID THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST 122 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:20,500 CHOOSE TO HAVE THEIR MANDATORY 123 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,868 BABY ADOPTED, OR GO TO A STATE 124 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,570 THAT ALLOWS ABORTION. 125 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,405 BUT FIRST, EVEN WHEN PLANNED, 126 00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,140 PREGNANCY IS, BEST-CASE 127 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:28,775 SCENARIO, A MAJOR MEDICAL EVENT 128 00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,243 THAT RIPS OPEN YOUR BUTT, 129 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,477 REARRANGES YOUR ORGANS, THEN 130 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,845 PUTS THEM BACK IN WRONG, AND 131 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,380 ANYONE WHO GENUINELY ADVOCATES 132 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,282 ADOPTION AS A REASONABLE 133 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,150 ALTERNATIVE HAS CLEARLY NEVER 134 00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:40,353 HEARD THE WORD "PROLAPSE." 135 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,321 [LAUGHTER] 136 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,622 AND THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN SIMPLY 137 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:43,623 SEEK AN ABORTION IN ANOTHER 138 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,124 STATE IS INSULTING ON ITS FACE, 139 00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:46,326 EVEN BEFORE YOU CONSIDER THAT 140 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,460 SOME LAWMAKERS ARE ALREADY 141 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:48,995 OPENLY LOOKING FOR WAYS TO 142 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,598 PUNISH OUT-OF-STATE ABORTIONS. 143 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:52,465 IN SOME WAYS, WE'RE IN UNCHARTED 144 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,133 TERRITORY HERE. 145 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,136 BECAUSE WHEN YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAY 146 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,137 WE'RE RETURNING TO A PRE-ROE 147 00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:58,771 LANDSCAPE, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY 148 00:03:58,838 --> 00:03:59,939 TRUE. 149 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:05,378 THIS IS A DIFFERENT WORLD NOW. 150 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,245 IN SOME WAYS, IT'S BETTER. 151 00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,380 THERE ARE NEW, LESS INVASIVE 152 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,548 WAYS FOR PEOPLE TO TERMINATE 153 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:09,582 PREGNANCIES, LIKE WITH 154 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:10,316 MEDICATIONS. 155 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,317 BUT THERE ARE ALSO NEW WAYS FOR 156 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,018 THE STATE TO MONITOR PEOPLE. 157 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:12,952 MEANING THAT IN STATES WHERE 158 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,254 ABORTION WILL NOW BE OUTLAWED, 159 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,689 ANY PREGNANCY LOSS PAST AN EARLY 160 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:20,326 CUTOFF CAN NOW POTENTIALLY BE 161 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:20,927 INVESTIGATED AS A CRIME, WHICH 162 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:21,794 IN TURN MEANS SEARCH HISTORIES, 163 00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:22,795 BROWSING HISTORIES, TEXT 164 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,130 MESSAGES, LOCATION DATA, PAYMENT 165 00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:26,299 DATA, INFORMATION FROM 166 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:27,300 PERIOD-TRACKING APPS -- 167 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,168 PROSECUTORS CAN EXAMINE ALL OF 168 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:30,637 THAT IF THEY BELIEVE THE LOSS OF 169 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:31,204 A PREGNANCY MAY HAVE BEEN 170 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,138 DELIBERATE. 171 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,740 AND THAT IS NOT THE ONLY 172 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:34,607 PANDORA'S BOX THIS RULING HAS 173 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:35,775 OPENED. 174 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,410 BECAUSE CLARENCE THOMAS, IN HIS 175 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,177 CONCURRENCE, INDICATED HE'D 176 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,145 ACTUALLY LIKE TO GO A LITTLE 177 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,781 FURTHER. 178 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,449 >> HE WRITES, QUOTE, "IN FUTURE 179 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,519 CASES, WE SHOULD RECONSIDER ALL 180 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,054 OF THIS COURT'S SUBSTANTIVE DUE 181 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,455 PROCESS PRECEDENTS, INCLUDING 182 00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:50,923 GRISWOLD, LAWRENCE, AND 183 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,659 OBERGEFELL." 184 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,927 HE'S TALKING ABOUT RECONSIDERING 185 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,863 DECISIONS ON GAY RIGHTS AND THE 186 00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:58,731 RIGHT TO CONTRACEPTION. 187 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,733 >> John: YEAH, CLARENCE THOMAS 188 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,634 WANTS TO UPHOLD THE SANCTITY OF 189 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,102 MARRIAGE. 190 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,904 BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW, MARRIAGE 191 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,472 IS BETWEEN ONE MAN CREDIBLY 192 00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:07,974 ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND 193 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:08,808 ONE WOMAN WHO WANTED TO 194 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:09,542 OVERTHROW A PRESIDENTIAL 195 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,044 ELECTION. 196 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,446 Y'KNOW, THE WAY GOD INTENDED. 197 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,814 [LAUGHTER] 198 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:15,882 NOW, ON ONE HAND, THE MAJORITY 199 00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,016 DECISION DOES STATE THAT IT ONLY 200 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,985 CONCERNS THE RIGHT TO AN 201 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:19,619 ABORTION, AND NOT THOSE OTHER 202 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,054 ISSUES. 203 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,221 BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, THAT 204 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,690 LANGUAGE BY NO MEANS PRECLUDES 205 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,525 THE COURT FROM ONE DAY DECIDING, 206 00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:26,292 "YOU KNOW WHAT, WE THINK IT DOES 207 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,361 APPLY NOW!" 208 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,396 AND BESIDES, WHAT KIND OF IDIOT 209 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:31,864 WOULD EVEN PRETEND TO BELIEVE 210 00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:32,865 ANY REASSURANCES FROM THESE 211 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:33,866 JUSTICES? 212 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:34,367 YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S SUSAN 213 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,768 COLLINS. 214 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,203 SUSAN COLLINS WOULD ABSOLUTELY 215 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,439 BE THAT FUCKING IDIOT. 216 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,473 [LAUGHTER] 217 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,574 AND THE THING IS, EVEN IF WE 218 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,042 DON'T GO DOWN THAT SLIPPERY 219 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:43,576 SLOPE, THIS IS ALREADY BAD 220 00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,244 ENOUGH. 221 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,279 BECAUSE WHAT THE SUPREME COURT 222 00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:46,913 HAS JUST DONE IS UTTERLY 223 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,614 DEVASTATING. 224 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,550 THE MESSAGE IT SENDS IS PRETTY 225 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:51,517 CLEAR: "WE DON'T CARE IF 226 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,519 PREGNANCY KILLS YOU. 227 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,821 WE DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT 228 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:55,988 TO BE PREGNANT. 229 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:58,057 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL." 230 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,158 AND FOR THOSE LIKE 231 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,727 REPRESENTATIVE CORI BUSH, WHO'VE 232 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:01,794 BEEN ABLE TO AVAIL THEMSELVES OF 233 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,763 ABORTION SERVICES IN THE PAST, 234 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,798 AND KNOW HOW LIFE-CHANGING THEY 235 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,233 CAN BE, IT IS HARD TO CONSIDER 236 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,234 WHAT THE FUTURE NOW HOLDS FOR 237 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,570 OTHERS IN THEIR POSITION. 238 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,673 >> SO, I'M STANDING AT THE PLACE 239 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,541 WHERE I HAD MY OWN ABORTION CARE 240 00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:17,009 SERVICES AT 18-YEARS-OLD. 241 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,512 I GOT RAPED WHEN I WAS 17. 242 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:20,680 AND I WAS ABLE TO BE BACK HERE 243 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:21,347 WITH THE SECRETARY -- 244 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,582 >> THAT WAS HERE? 245 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:23,649 >> HERE -- AS WE'RE TALKING, 246 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,051 WE'RE SITTING WITH THE 247 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:25,651 SECRETARY -- THAT ANNOUNCEMENT 248 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:32,125 WAS MADE. 249 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:34,193 IT -- IT BROKE MY HEART. 250 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:38,865 BECAUSE I'M THINKING ABOUT THE 251 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:39,665 PEOPLE WHO TODAY FOUND OUT THAT 252 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,800 THEY WERE PREGNANT, WHO FOUND 253 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,301 OUT THEY WERE PREGNANT A FEW 254 00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:43,169 WEEKS AGO, AND WERE TRYING TO 255 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,070 FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO. 256 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:44,937 TO RESTRICT PEOPLE'S RIGHT TO 257 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,272 THEIR OWN BODY AND THEIR OWN 258 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:46,873 DECISIONS, IT -- IT BROKE ME 259 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:47,840 DOWN. 260 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,475 I THINK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER WHO 261 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:50,710 WILL NEVER -- WHO WILL NEVER 262 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,346 KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN A 263 00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:54,847 A ROE V. WADE CONSTITUTIONALLY 264 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,015 PROTECTED SOCIETY. 265 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,216 >> John: YEAH. 266 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,218 THIS IS GUTTING. 267 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,486 THERE IS A HUGE AMOUNT OF 268 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,255 UNDERSTANDABLE RAGE RIGHT NOW. 269 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,589 AND THERE ARE CERTAINLY PLENTY 270 00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:04,557 OF INDIVIDUALS AND INSTITUTIONS 271 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,159 WORTHY OF THAT ANGER. 272 00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:07,927 WE'VE TALKED BEFORE, MULTIPLE 273 00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,529 TIMES, ABOUT HOW EXACTLY WE GOT 274 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,797 HERE: THE YEARS OF PLANNING BY 275 00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,031 ANTI-ABORTION FORCES, AND THE 276 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:12,999 FAILURE OF DEMOCRATS TO 277 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:13,566 EFFECTIVELY MOBILIZE TO STOP 278 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,135 THEM. 279 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,970 AND IT'S BEEN DISPIRITING TO SEE 280 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:20,039 SO MANY DEMOCRATS THIS WEEK FAIL 281 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,374 TO MEET THE MOMENT -- A MOMENT, 282 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,542 BY THE WAY, THEY HAD NEARLY TWO 283 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,011 MONTHS TO PLAN FOR. 284 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:28,181 NANCY PELOSI READ A POEM, ONE 285 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:28,815 REP TWEETED A PICTURE OF HIMSELF 286 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:29,782 DOING YOGA, AND SO MANY 287 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,450 DEMOCRATS SENT OUT REQUESTS FOR 288 00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:33,052 MONEY, REALLY FULFILLING THAT 289 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,921 OLD DEMOCRATIC ADAGE, "WHEN THEY 290 00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:40,092 GO LOW, WE ASK YOU FOR $15." 291 00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:40,526 [LAUGHTER] 292 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,694 ALL OF WHICH SEEMED COMPLETELY 293 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:42,428 OUT OF TOUCH WITH HOW PEOPLE 294 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:43,296 WERE FEELING. 295 00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:45,264 HONESTLY, A MUCH BETTER RESPONSE 296 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:46,332 CAME FROM THE GATORS DAILY 297 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,333 ACCOUNT, TWITTER'S NUMBER-ONE 298 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,468 CROCODILIAN INFLUENCER, WHICH 299 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,871 SIMPLY POSTED: "FUCK THE SUPREME 300 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,139 COURT" AND THEN ADDED, "IF YOU 301 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:53,773 DON'T AGREE, GET THE FUCK OFF MY 302 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,374 PAGE. 303 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:56,776 EVERY ALLIGATOR HATES YOU AND I 304 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,477 HOPE YOUR FAMILY IS CURSED FOR 305 00:07:58,544 --> 00:07:59,378 SEVERAL GENERATIONS TO NEVER 306 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:03,049 SEE AN ALLIGATOR AGAIN." 307 00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:03,316 [LAUGHTER] 308 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:06,185 [APPLAUSE] 309 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,486 THAT IS SOME STRONG MESSAGING! 310 00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:08,621 AND I DON'T MEAN TO SUGGEST ALL 311 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,256 DEMOCRATS FELL SHORT. 312 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,525 SOME, LIKE CORI BUSH AND AOC, 313 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,759 SEEMED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE 314 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,660 WERE GOING THROUGH, AS DID, BY 315 00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:17,096 THE WAY, THE MICHIGAN 316 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,164 LEGISLATIVE BLACK CAUCUS, 317 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:18,931 WHICH RELEASED A STATEMENT 318 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:19,999 SAYING, AND I QUOTE, "THIS IS 319 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,934 SOME BULLSHIT." 320 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,871 WHICH IT ABSOLUTELY IS. 321 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:25,671 AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT ALL I 322 00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:26,672 WANT FROM LEADERS IS SHOWS OF 323 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:27,506 ANGER. 324 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,841 BUT IT HAS BEEN DEPRESSING TO 325 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,843 SEE SO MANY OF THEM TREAT THE 326 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,411 END OF ROE V. WADE WITH THE 327 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,146 SOLEMNITY OF A FUNERAL, INSTEAD 328 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:34,747 OF THE URGENCY OF A FUCKING 329 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:37,183 CARDIAC ARREST! 330 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,918 AND THEY STAND IN STARK CONTRAST 331 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,286 TO THE GROUPS ON THE GROUND 332 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,454 WHO'VE BEEN DISPLAYING THAT 333 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,489 URGENCY FOR YEARS NOW. 334 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,291 THEY FOUGHT RELENTLESSLY AS 335 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,359 ABORTION RIGHTS HAVE BEEN 336 00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:47,460 CHIPPED AWAY ALL OVER THE 337 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:49,095 COUNTRY, AND THEY HAVE WORKED 338 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,863 TIRELESSLY TO FIND WAYS AROUND 339 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:51,898 EACH RESTRICTION, AND PROVIDE 340 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,366 HEALTHCARE SERVICES FOR THOSE 341 00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:54,533 WHO HAVE BEEN DENIED THEM, EVEN 342 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,637 WHEN IT WAS VERY HARD. 343 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,272 VOLUNTEERS WALKED PEOPLE INTO 344 00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,439 CLINICS, AND DOCTORS FLEW IN TO 345 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:02,241 PROVIDE PROCEDURES. 346 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:03,576 ABORTION ADVOCATES DID ALL OF 347 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,978 THIS, EVEN AS THEY WERE BEING 348 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,246 YELLED AT FROM ONE SIDE, AND 349 00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,748 TOLD THAT THEY WERE OVERREACTING 350 00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,349 BY THE OTHER. 351 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,651 AND THEIR UNFLINCHING COMMITMENT 352 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,085 AND COMPASSION IS SOMETHING WE 353 00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,053 ARE ALL GOING TO NEED TO FIND 354 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,055 WAYS TO EMULATE GOING FORWARD, 355 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,924 BOTH ON AN INDIVIDUAL LEVEL, AS 356 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:20,026 WE HELP ONE ANOTHER NAVIGATE THE 357 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,594 NIGHTMARISH MAZE THAT BASIC 358 00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,362 HEALTH CARE IS ABOUT TO BECOME. 359 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,231 AND HOPEFULLY, EVENTUALLY, ON AN 360 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,732 INSTITUTIONAL ONE, IF THOSE IN 361 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:27,833 POWER CAN DEMONSTRATE ENOUGH 362 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,903 COMMITMENT TO THIS FIGHT. 363 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,104 LOOK, TIME WILL TELL WHAT THIS 364 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,273 WEEK ACTUALLY WAS. 365 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,075 IF IT WAS A PERMANENT SETBACK, A 366 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:43,149 WAYSTATION ALONG A FURTHER 367 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:48,054 DESCENT INTO HELL. 368 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:48,955 OR IF IT GALVANIZED A MOVEMENT 369 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:49,689 THAT EVENTUALLY WON BACK 370 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,656 EVERYTHING THAT WE JUST LOST. 371 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:51,824 BUT THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR 372 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:52,558 SURE RIGHT NOW IS THAT THIS WEEK 373 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,392 WAS HEARTBREAKING, IT WAS 374 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:54,393 ENRAGING, IT WAS A SUPREME 375 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,227 INJUSTICE, AND IT WAS, IF I MAY 376 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,595 QUOTE THE MICHIGAN LEGISLATIVE 377 00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:57,830 BLACK CAUCUS, "SOME ABSOLUTE 378 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,432 BULLSHIT." 379 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,767 AND NOW THIS. 380 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:02,902 [APPLAUSE] 381 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,203 >> Announcer: AND NOW, IN THE 382 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,838 INTEREST OF GIVING YOU SOMETHING 383 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,740 VERY STUPID: BETTER NAMES FOR 384 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,108 THE DOGS FROM THIS YEAR'S 385 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:12,611 WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW. 386 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,981 HAMBURGER. 387 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,216 WORM. 388 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,685 THE EROTIC COWBOY. 389 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:24,857 ALLEN. 390 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:26,559 JEFFREY EPSTEIN, NO RELATION. 391 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:30,563 CAT ENJOYER. 392 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:32,865 [SPEAKING FRENCH] 393 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,134 WEIRD PHIL. 394 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,636 SNACKS. 395 00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,772 THE OLD WORLD IS DYING AND THE 396 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,640 NEW WORLD STRUGGLES TO BE BORN, 397 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,909 NOW IS THE TIME OF MONSTERS. 398 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,512 ALLEN 2. 399 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,448 NICOLE KIDMAN. 400 00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:53,052 MTV'S "RIDICULOUSNESS." 401 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:57,390 AND, TODD. 402 00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:57,656 [LAUGHTER] 403 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,258 [APPLAUSE] 404 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,127 >> John: MOVING ON. 405 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:01,761 OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS 406 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,295 WATER. 407 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:04,797 IT'S NOT JUST THE ONE THING YOUR 408 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,132 HOUSEPLANT NEEDED THAT YOU 409 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,266 COULDN'T EVEN PROVIDE, IT'S ALSO 410 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,701 THE ENGINE THAT ONCE POWERED 411 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,169 THIS CLASSIC TOY. 412 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,004 >> WHAT'S THIS CRAZY THING? 413 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:12,805 WHY, IT'S THE WHAM-O WATER 414 00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:13,873 WIGGLE. 415 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,041 YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE 416 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:18,844 IT! 417 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:19,478 JUST HOOK UP TO A HOSE AND LOOK, 418 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:20,413 A NEW FUN GAME! 419 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:21,547 IT'S PRACTICALLY ALIVE! 420 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,749 YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE WATER 421 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:27,253 WIGGLE WILL DO NEXT. 422 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:28,087 >> John: YES, THE WATER WIGGLE! 423 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:28,721 YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WILL DO 424 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:29,522 NEXT! 425 00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:30,389 EXCEPT KILL SOME PEOPLE. 426 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:30,990 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE WATER 427 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,091 WIGGLE DID. 428 00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:32,725 IT KILLED MULTIPLE PEOPLE AND IT 429 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:33,426 WAS RECALLED. 430 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:34,927 THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE LESS THAN 431 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:35,828 TWO MINUTES INTO THE PIECE AND 432 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,029 I'VE ALREADY HIT YOU WITH A 433 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,697 TRADEMARK JOHN OLIVER SAD FACT. 434 00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:41,300 >> SAD FACT! 435 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,235 [LAUGHTER] 436 00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:44,670 >> John: WATER IS OBVIOUSLY 437 00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:46,105 VITAL TO ALL LIFE ON EARTH. 438 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,373 OUR BODIES ARE ESSENTIALLY BAGS 439 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:47,973 OF BONES AND MEAT SUSPENDED IN 440 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,708 WATER. 441 00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:52,845 BUT ALREADY, 3.6 BILLION PEOPLE, 442 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:53,345 NEARLY HALF THE WORLD'S 443 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,880 POPULATION, LIVE IN AREAS THAT 444 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:55,481 SUFFER WATER SCARCITY AT LEAST 445 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,383 ONE MONTH EACH YEAR. 446 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,818 AND WHILE THIS IS CLEARLY 447 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,486 BECOMING A PROBLEM EVERYWHERE, 448 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,854 TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON 449 00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,522 THE AMERICAN WEST, WHERE THE 450 00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:04,390 LAST SEVERAL DECADES HAVE SEEN A 451 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,092 RECORD-BREAKING DROUGHT. 452 00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:07,493 THE SOUTHWEST IS ACTUALLY GOING 453 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,728 THROUGH ITS DRIEST 22-YEAR 454 00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:13,833 PERIOD SINCE 800 A.D.! 455 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,434 THAT IS AS FAR BACK AS THE DATA 456 00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:16,769 GOES, WHICH IS PRETTY STARTLING, 457 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:17,736 PARTLY BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE 458 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:18,704 SOMEONE BACK THEN WAS EVEN 459 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,806 KEEPING DROUGHT RECORDS. 460 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,241 IT WAS PROBABLY THE 9TH CENTURY 461 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,442 VERSION OF ME: SOME LANKY, 462 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,977 NEAR-SIGHTED DWEEB WHO SQUEALED, 463 00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:26,145 "I'LL BE THE OFFICIAL DROUGHT 464 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,213 DADDY! 465 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,582 I'LL COUNT THE WETS!" 466 00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:30,749 [LAUGHTER] 467 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,352 AND THIS DROUGHT HAS HAD MASSIVE 468 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,753 IMPACT ON THE COLORADO RIVER, 469 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:35,354 IN PARTICULAR, WHICH IS A KEY 470 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,655 SOURCE OF WATER FOR MOST OF THE 471 00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:39,492 SOUTHWESTERN STATES. 472 00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,260 >> 22 YEARS OF DROUGHT, COMBINED 473 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,862 WITH EXPLODING POPULATIONS IN 474 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:43,863 COLORADO AND THROUGHOUT THE 475 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,132 SOUTHWEST, HAVE LED TO 476 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:47,867 RECORD-LOW LEVELS AT BOTH LAKE 477 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,102 POWELL IN UTAH AND LAKE MEAD 478 00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:52,071 OUTSIDE LAS VEGAS, WHERE AN 479 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,406 EXPANDING WHITE RING OF MINERAL 480 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:57,109 DEPOSITS IS PROBABLY THE MOST 481 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,043 VISUAL EVIDENCE OF THE RIVER'S 482 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,211 DECLINE. 483 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,213 >> IT'S DIRE. 484 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,048 THE SITUATION ALONG THE COLORADO 485 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,884 RIVER IS DIRE, AND I'M NOT SURE 486 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,252 IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER, EVER. 487 00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,554 >> John: WOW. 488 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,022 THAT IS A BLEAK THING TO HEAR AN 489 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,290 ENVIRONMENTAL EXPERT SAY. 490 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,358 BUT THEN, THE NEWS HERE IS 491 00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:14,426 BLEAK. 492 00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:16,028 WATER LEVELS IN LAKE MEAD HAVE 493 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:22,968 NOW FALLEN SO MUCH THAT YOU MAY 494 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:27,039 HAVE SEEN: AUTHORITIES HAVE 495 00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:27,973 FOUND HUMAN REMAINS THERE, 496 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,875 TWICE, IN JUST ONE WEEK. 497 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,177 WHICH REALLY FREAKED ME OUT, 498 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,412 UNTIL I REMEMBERED THAT I DUMPED 499 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:34,046 THAT HITCHHIKER IN LAKE MOJAVE, 500 00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:34,647 NOT LAKE MEAD. 501 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,283 SO, I'M GOOD. 502 00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:37,550 [LAUGHTER] 503 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:38,450 AND WHILE YOU'D LIKE TO THINK A 504 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,585 SITUATION THIS DIRE WOULD CAUSE 505 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,219 PEOPLE TO BE MORE MINDFUL OF OUR 506 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,453 WATER USAGE, INSTEAD, WE'RE 507 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,054 SEEING STORIES LIKE THIS. 508 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,189 >> RIGHT NOW, IT'S AN EMPTY PLOT 509 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,423 OF LAND COVERED WITH BRUSH. 510 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,624 BUT IF DEVELOPER REGENT 511 00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:46,559 PROPERTIES GETS THE GO-AHEAD, 512 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:47,960 THE OPEN DESERT WILL BE 513 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,195 TRANSFORMED INTO THIS, THE 514 00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:51,030 $750 MILLION THERMAL BEACH CLUB. 515 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:52,565 UNDER THE CURRENT PLAN, THE 516 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,266 DEVELOPER WANTS TO BUILD 326 517 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,302 LUXURY HOMES HERE AT THE SITE, 518 00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:56,969 ALL SURROUNDING A 20-ACRE 519 00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,638 SURFING LAGOON. 520 00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:01,774 >> John: THAT'S RIGHT: A 20-ACRE 521 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,576 SURFING LAGOON IN THE MIDDLE OF 522 00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:04,710 THE CALIFORNIA DESERT, ONE OF AT 523 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:05,878 LEAST FOUR NEW SURF LAGOONS 524 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,379 PROPOSED OUT THERE. 525 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,214 THAT IS JUST MONUMENTALLY 526 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,516 STUPID. 527 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,116 I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T GO 528 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,218 EVEN FURTHER. 529 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,586 "NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE SURFING 530 00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:15,154 LAGOONS, WE ALSO HAVE A WALL OF 531 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,855 CONSTANTLY FLUSHING TOILETS, A 532 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,224 HOSE THAT RUNS ALL DAY IN THE 533 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,558 MIDDLE OF A CONCRETE PARKING 534 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,561 LOT, AND OF COURSE, WET FRANK, A 535 00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:23,195 MAN WE PAY TO DUMP BUCKETS OF 536 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,163 WATER ON HIMSELF ALL DAY." 537 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,898 KEEP IT UP, FRANK! 538 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,334 WE STAN A DAMP LEGEND! 539 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,602 [LAUGHTER] 540 00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,136 AND WHILE DEVELOPMENT LIKE THAT 541 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,071 IS OBVIOUSLY NOT IDEAL, IT IS 542 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,505 DEPRESSINGLY CONSISTENT WITH OUR 543 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:35,107 APPROACH TO WATER OUT WEST, 544 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,642 BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A HISTORY OF 545 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,743 DENIAL AND WISHFUL THINKING, 546 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,012 ESPECIALLY AROUND THE COLORADO 547 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:40,913 RIVER, THAT IS NOW CRASHING INTO 548 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,915 HARSH REALITY. 549 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,717 SO TONIGHT, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT 550 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,252 OUR WATER SHORTAGE, HOW IT'S 551 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:47,987 BEEN IMPACTED BY THE CHOICES 552 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:48,921 WE'VE MADE, AND WHAT WE CAN DO 553 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,089 ABOUT IT. 554 00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:51,457 AND LET'S START WITH HOW THE 555 00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:54,193 COLORADO RIVER IS MANAGED. 556 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,594 BECAUSE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WE'RE 557 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,662 SEEING TODAY CAN BE TRACED BACK 558 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,463 TO DECISIONS THAT WERE MADE A 559 00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:58,998 CENTURY AGO. 560 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,100 >> THIS PRECIOUS RESOURCE IS 561 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,535 ALLOCATED BASED ON A 1922 562 00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:04,270 AGREEMENT CALLED THE COLORADO 563 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,538 RIVER COMPACT. 564 00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:08,340 ONCE THE RIVER BASIN STATES 565 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,942 AGREED ON THEIR FAIR SHARES, 566 00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,311 THEY EACH ESTABLISHED A 567 00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:13,646 SENIORITY SYSTEM, FIRST IN TIME, 568 00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:16,749 FIRST IN RIGHT. 569 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:17,850 >> John: IT'S TRUE: SEVEN STATES 570 00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,318 GOT TOGETHER AND CARVED UP ALL 571 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,487 THE WATER IN THE RIVER, 572 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:22,087 ESSENTIALLY LETTING PEOPLE LAY 573 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:22,888 CLAIM TO IT THROUGH A COMPLEX 574 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,291 SYSTEM OF CALLING DIBS. 575 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:26,058 AND LOOK, I'VE GOT NO PROBLEM 576 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,259 WITH "DIBS" IN PRINCIPLE. 577 00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:27,926 IT'S A GREAT WAY TO FIGURE OUT 578 00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,795 WHO GETS THE LAST SLICE OF 579 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,463 PIZZA, OR THE PINK STARBUSTS, OR 580 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:34,033 THE CUTEST BABY AT THE HOSPITAL. 581 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:34,833 [LAUGHTER] 582 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,135 I DON'T CARE IF YOU GAVE BIRTH 583 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,136 TO HER, I CALLED DIBS! 584 00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:39,204 THAT ONE IS MINE! 585 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,439 BUT IT IS A WEIRD WAY TO DIVIDE 586 00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:41,273 UP SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS 587 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:41,907 WATER. 588 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,575 THE COLORADO RIVER COMPACT 589 00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:45,010 SERVES AS THE FOUNDATION FOR 590 00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:45,644 WHAT'S KNOWN AS THE "LAW OF THE 591 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:46,879 RIVER." 592 00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,514 WHICH SOUNDS LESS LIKE A SET OF 593 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,082 WATER MANAGEMENT AGREEMENTS AND 594 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:51,450 MORE LIKE AN ANIMATED BUDDY COP 595 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,485 MOVIE STARRING A TROUT AND A 596 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:57,089 BEAR, VOICED BY TWO ACTORS WHO 597 00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,891 ARE BOTH WILDLY ANTISEMITIC. 598 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,025 BUT THERE WERE A FEW MAJOR 599 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:00,859 PROBLEMS WITH HOW THE COMPACT 600 00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:01,694 WAS SET UP, RIGHT FROM THE 601 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,828 START. 602 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,564 FIRST, MEXICO WASN'T INCLUDED, 603 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,598 AND EVEN THOUGH IT IS TODAY, THE 604 00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:07,199 RIVER ESSENTIALLY RUNS DRY BY 605 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:08,300 THE TIME IT GETS ACROSS THE 606 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:09,335 BORDER. 607 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:10,669 AND THE COMPACT ALSO DIDN'T 608 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:11,637 SPECIFICALLY ADDRESS THE WATER 609 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,038 NEEDS OF THE MORE THAN TWO DOZEN 610 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,106 NATIVE AMERICAN TRIBES WHO 611 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,008 DEPEND ON THE RIVER. 612 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,676 WHICH IS PRETTY SHITTY, 613 00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,545 ESPECIALLY AS THOSE TRIBES DO 614 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,347 HAVE THE MOST SENIOR WATER 615 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:22,681 RIGHTS, GIVEN THEY WERE, IN A 616 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,250 VERY REAL SENSE, HERE FIRST. 617 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,287 THEY HAVE THE ULTIMATE DIBS. 618 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,288 BUT EVEN SO, MANY TRIBES HAVE 619 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:30,789 HAD TO STRUGGLE TO GET THOSE 620 00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,157 WATER RIGHTS ACTUALLY QUANTIFIED 621 00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,826 ON PAPER, AND EVEN THEN, TO GET 622 00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:34,460 THE INFRASTRUCTURE THEY NEED IN 623 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,428 ORDER TO ACCESS IT. 624 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,596 AND FOR MANY TRIBES, THOSE 625 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,631 FIGHTS ARE STILL HAPPENING. 626 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:40,933 BUT IT WASN'T JUST ABOUT WHO THE 627 00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:43,335 COMPACT LEFT OUT. 628 00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:44,503 ANOTHER KEY FLAW WAS THAT, RIGHT 629 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,305 FROM THE START, IT ALLOCATED 630 00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:46,839 MORE WATER THAN ACTUALLY 631 00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:48,474 EXISTED. 632 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:49,942 WATER SUPPLIES ARE MEASURED IN 633 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,677 ACRE-FEET, AND THE COMPACT 634 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,812 DIVIDED UP RIGHTS TO 15 MILLION 635 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,681 ACRE FEET OF WATER, EVEN THOUGH 636 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,816 THE RIVER ONLY CARRIES AROUND 12 637 00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:59,818 TO 13 MILLION. 638 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:01,053 AND TO BE CLEAR, THEY KNEW THIS 639 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:06,358 WAS A PROBLEM AT THE TIME. 640 00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,527 THE EXPLORER AND SCIENTIST JOHN 641 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,262 WESLEY POWELL WARNED IN 1893, 642 00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,597 "THERE IS NOT SUFFICIENT WATER 643 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:12,965 TO SUPPLY THESE LANDS." 644 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:13,766 BUT THE BULLSHIT MATH NEVER 645 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:14,933 STOPPED. 646 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,135 JUST TEN YEARS AGO, IN A MAJOR 647 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,936 STUDY BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 648 00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:19,772 STATES FORCED THE MODELERS TO 649 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:22,608 ADD SO-CALLED "MAGIC WATER," 650 00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:24,209 EXTRA WATER THAT EXISTED IN THE 651 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,811 COMPUTER MODEL ONLY, WHICH IS 652 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,981 JUST ABSURD! 653 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,115 AND NOT ONLY BECAUSE "MAGIC 654 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,583 WATER" SOUNDS LIKE A EUPHEMISM 655 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,184 FOR URINE USED EXCLUSIVELY BY 656 00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:33,185 BJORK. 657 00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:37,623 "IT'S ME, BJORK. 658 00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:38,190 SOMETIMES I HAVE TO MAKE THE 659 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:38,924 MAGIC WATER. 660 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,093 [GIGGLES] 661 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:41,727 BUT IT TAKES FOREVER TO GET OUT 662 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,929 OF THIS SWAN!" 663 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,330 [LAUGHTER] 664 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,432 AND I DO GET WHY STATES MIGHT 665 00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:47,733 WANT TO PRETEND THERE'S MORE 666 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,101 WATER THAN THERE IS: BECAUSE 667 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,035 THEY WANT CONTINUED GROWTH AND 668 00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:50,969 ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT. 669 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:52,404 AND NOBODY WANTS TO BE THE BAD 670 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:53,372 GUY POINTING OUT THE FUNDAMENTAL 671 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,407 PROBLEM WITH THAT. 672 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:56,775 JUST LISTEN TO A REPORTER 673 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:57,810 PRESSING A REPRESENTATIVE OF 674 00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,077 SOUTHERN NEVADA'S WATER 675 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,712 AUTHORITY ON HOW THEY CAN 676 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:01,814 JUSTIFY GROWTH IN THE FACE OF 677 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,582 LOOMING WATER SCARCITY. 678 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,250 >> BUT SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE. 679 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,819 I MEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP 680 00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:07,886 EXPANDING THE POPULATION SIZE 681 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,122 WITH A DWINDLING WATER SUPPLY. 682 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:10,622 I MEAN, THAT'S JUST NOT 683 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:11,957 SUSTAINABLE. 684 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,392 >> THAT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE. 685 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,460 I MEAN, THAT REALLY KIND OF GOES 686 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,061 BACK TO MANIFEST DESTINY. 687 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:16,962 IT GOES BACK TO, SORT OF, THIS 688 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,363 AMERICAN DREAM. 689 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,898 YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO SEE 690 00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:20,566 PEOPLE MOVING TO THE DESERT 691 00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,334 SOUTHWEST. 692 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:23,802 SO, FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE AS 693 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,537 WATER MANAGERS, IT IS UP TO US 694 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,538 TO MAKE SURE THAT WE'RE ABLE TO 695 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,706 MEET THE DEMANDS OF OUR 696 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,374 COMMUNITY, REGARDLESS OF WHAT 697 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,977 OUR NUMBERS MIGHT BE. 698 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,679 >> John: OKAY, SO THERE'S A LOT 699 00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:38,016 THERE, INCLUDING THE PHRASE 700 00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,051 "MANIFEST DESTINY," WHICH AS WE 701 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:39,852 ALL KNOW, ONLY HAS GOOD 702 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,987 CONNOTATIONS. 703 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,522 [LAUGHTER] 704 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,090 LIKE "A SELF-PUBLISHED BOOK 705 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:45,924 ABOUT MY STRUGGLE," OR "I REALLY 706 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,059 WANT TO IMPRESS JODIE FOSTER," 707 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:50,062 OR "HELLO, MY NAME IS TED CRUZ." 708 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:52,097 [LAUGHTER] 709 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,565 NO RED FLAGS THERE AT ALL. 710 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,633 BUT AGAIN, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND 711 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:55,567 WHY HE FEELS THE NEED TO RESPOND 712 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,235 THAT WAY. 713 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,769 NOBODY WANTS TO BE THE ONE 714 00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:02,241 HAVING TO DELIVER BAD NEWS. 715 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,308 BUT THE IMMOVABLE FACT IS 716 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,643 CITIES IN THE DESERT CAN'T GROW 717 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:05,511 WITHOUT LIMIT, AND HARD 718 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:06,612 SACRIFICES WILL HAVE TO BE MADE. 719 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:07,513 WHICH BRINGS US TO ANOTHER 720 00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:08,514 FUNDAMENTAL TENSION HERE, 721 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:09,481 SPECIFICALLY BETWEEN FARMERS AND 722 00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:10,849 CITIES. 723 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,351 BECAUSE FARMERS AND RANCHERS 724 00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:13,785 WERE OUT WEST MUCH EARLIER THAN 725 00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:15,420 MOST AMERICAN CITIES WERE 726 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,122 ESTABLISHED, MEANING THEY HAVE 727 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:18,090 SENIOR WATER RIGHTS, AND THEY 728 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,925 USE THEM. 729 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,960 AGRICULTURE USES ABOUT 70% OF 730 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,963 THE COLORADO RIVER WATER. 731 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,065 AND OBVIOUSLY, AGRICULTURE NEEDS 732 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:27,766 WATER, AND NO ONE WANTS A 733 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,367 SITUATION WHERE WE CREATE FOOD 734 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,269 SHORTAGES. 735 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,570 BUT IT'S WORTH KNOWING: IN SOME 736 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,672 PLACES, FARMERS ARE INCENTIVIZED 737 00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,275 TO USE THEIR ALLOCATION TO A 738 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:36,808 TRULY NONSENSICAL DEGREE. 739 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,277 MANY STATES ALONG THE RIVER HAVE 740 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,145 RULES PROMISING TO CONFISCATE 741 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,613 WATER RIGHTS IF WATER USERS 742 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,549 DON'T MAXIMIZE THEIR USE. 743 00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,484 BASICALLY, USE IT OR LOSE IT. 744 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:46,118 AND THAT HAS INGRAINED CERTAIN 745 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,519 HABITS. 746 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,922 JUST LISTEN TO THIS FARMER IN 747 00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,924 ARIZONA EXPLAINING WHY HE CHOSE 748 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:52,791 TO GROW A PARTICULARLY 749 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,493 WATER-INTENSIVE CROP. 750 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,928 >> I'VE JUST BEEN FARMING IT, 751 00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:59,398 THIS ALFALFA. 752 00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:01,600 YOU GOT TO KEEP FARMING IT TO 753 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,701 KEEP THE WATER, AND THAT'S WHY I 754 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,169 WAS MAINLY DOING IT, WAS TO HANG 755 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:07,172 ON TO THE WATER. 756 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,841 >> John: OKAY, FIRST, I DON'T 757 00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,209 KNOW WHO WAS FILMING HIM THERE 758 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:11,810 BUT THAT CAMERA IS SIMPLY TOO 759 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:12,377 CLOSE. 760 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,378 BACK UP AND GIVE THAT MAN SOME 761 00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:15,013 SPACE! 762 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:15,814 [LAUGHTER] 763 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:19,117 THAT IS JUST TOO MUCH FACE. 764 00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:20,319 BUT SECOND, HE FARMED ALFALFA 765 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,486 JUST SO HE COULD HOLD ONTO HIS 766 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,120 WATER RIGHTS, WHICH FEELS 767 00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:23,155 RIDICULOUS. 768 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,423 THE ONLY MORE ABSURD WAY HE 769 00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:26,191 COULD'VE USED WATER IN THAT 770 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:26,959 FIELD IS IF HE'D ALSO PLANTED 771 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:29,928 WET FRANK. 772 00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:30,896 [LAUGHTER] 773 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:31,930 GREAT WORK, FRANK! 774 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,932 THE SOGGY PRINCE DID IT AGAIN. 775 00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,467 SO FOR ALL THOSE REASONS, MANY 776 00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,202 RELATED TO THE COMPACT'S 777 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:38,870 ORIGINAL OVERALLOCATION, THE 778 00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:42,708 COLORADO RIVER IS SHRINKING. 779 00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:43,709 BUT WHAT THAT IS LEADING TO IS 780 00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,310 WATER USERS INCREASINGLY TURNING 781 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:45,811 TO ANOTHER MAJOR SOURCE: 782 00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:49,514 GROUNDWATER. 783 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:50,415 GROUNDWATER IS EXACTLY WHAT IT 784 00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:51,350 SOUNDS LIKE: WATER UNDER THE 785 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,551 GROUND. 786 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,885 IT SLOWLY COLLECTS IN AQUIFERS 787 00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:55,520 BENEATH THE EARTH'S SURFACE, 788 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:56,455 ACCUMULATING WHEN RAIN, 789 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:57,656 SNOWMELT, AND OTHER NATURAL 790 00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:58,323 WATER SOURCES SEEP INTO THE 791 00:20:58,390 --> 00:20:59,958 GROUND. 792 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,893 BUT IMPORTANTLY, SOME OF THESE 793 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,462 AQUIFERS TOOK THOUSANDS, IF NOT 794 00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,364 MILLIONS OF YEARS TO FILL. 795 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,199 SO IF WE PUMP THEM DRY, THEY'RE 796 00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:09,134 NOT COMING BACK ANYTIME SOON. 797 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,636 BUT THAT'S NOT ALWAYS REFLECTED 798 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:11,837 IN OUR POLICIES. 799 00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:14,306 TAKE ARIZONA, FOR INSTANCE. 800 00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,241 IN 80% OF THE STATE, THERE ARE 801 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,342 NO LAWS PROTECTING HOW MUCH 802 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:19,945 WATER IS TAKEN FROM THE GROUND. 803 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,179 AND WHEN YOU HAVE NO LIMITS, IT 804 00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:21,813 IS, UNSURPRISINGLY, A 805 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,715 FREE-FOR-ALL. 806 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,117 >> OVER THE PAST FIVE YEARS, 807 00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:26,251 FARMLANDS HAVE INCREASED BY 808 00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:29,154 ALMOST A THIRD IN ARIZONA. 809 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:31,523 THE NUMBER OF WELLS HAS RISEN 810 00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,359 FROM 43 TO 123 IN WILLCOX ALONE. 811 00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:36,061 ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS BUY THE 812 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,062 LAND TO HAVE ACCESS TO AS MUCH 813 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:40,165 FREE WATER AS THEY WANT. 814 00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:40,832 >> IN THIS AREA, THERE'S NO 815 00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:43,969 RULE. 816 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,204 >> SO, YOUR CLIENT CAN PUMP AS 817 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,540 MUCH WATER THEY WANT? 818 00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:51,243 >> THEY COULD DRILL A WELL EVERY 819 00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:51,843 10 FOOT ALL AROUND THIS PLACE. 820 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:53,045 NO LIMIT. 821 00:21:53,111 --> 00:21:54,046 >> John: YEAH, THAT'S NOT GREAT, 822 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:55,180 IS IT? 823 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,181 PARTLY BECAUSE DRILLING THAT 824 00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:57,549 MANY WELLS MEANS THEY'RE GOING 825 00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:58,884 TO PUMP A TON OF GROUNDWATER 826 00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:02,487 OUT, AND ALSO BECAUSE IF YOUR 827 00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:03,689 DOG IS TRYING TO TELL YOU TIMMY 828 00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:04,256 IS STUCK DOWN A WELL: WHICH 829 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:07,592 WELL, RUSTY? 830 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:07,959 [LAUGHTER] 831 00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:09,161 THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THEM! 832 00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:10,062 WHICH FUCKING WELL? 833 00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:10,896 YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME MORE THAN 834 00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:13,298 "ARF ARF" HERE! 835 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:15,534 WHERE IS THE BOY? 836 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,568 [LAUGHTER] 837 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:17,803 AND IT'S NOT JUST ARIZONA. 838 00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:19,204 BIG FARMING OPERATIONS HAVE LONG 839 00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:19,838 BEEN PUMPING GROUNDWATER IN THE 840 00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:20,706 SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY IN 841 00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:21,640 CALIFORNIA. 842 00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:22,441 AND IT'S HAD SOME PRETTY SEVERE 843 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:23,508 CONSEQUENCES. 844 00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:25,143 >> WHEN THIS MUCH WATER IS 845 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:26,244 PUMPED OUT OF THE AQUIFER BELOW 846 00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:27,813 GROUND, THE CLAY BETWEEN THE 847 00:22:27,879 --> 00:22:29,281 POCKETS OF WATER COLLAPSES AND 848 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,949 THE GROUND STARTS TO DEFLATE 849 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,251 LIKE A LEAKY AIR MATTRESS. 850 00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:34,386 THE SINKING IS BUCKLING THE 851 00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:36,521 WALLS OF IRRIGATION CANALS, 852 00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,523 DAMAGING PIPES, CREATING GIANT 853 00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:41,159 SINK HOLES, AND CRACKING HOMES. 854 00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:43,161 THIS BRIDGE HAS DROPPED SO MUCH, 855 00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:45,964 THE WATER WILL SOON FLOW OVER 856 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,033 IT INSTEAD OF UNDER IT. 857 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:48,834 >> John: YEAH, IT'S TRUE, AND 858 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,402 THIS IS NOT A NEW PROBLEM. 859 00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:52,404 A SCIENTIST IN CALIFORNIA ONCE 860 00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:54,139 MARKED JUST HOW MUCH THE LAND 861 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,173 HAD SUNK FROM 1925 TO 1977 ON A 862 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,709 TELEPHONE POLE. 863 00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:59,344 AND THAT IS A STARTLING DROP. 864 00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:00,712 ALTHOUGH, IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW 865 00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:01,480 WHAT THAT WAS MEASURING, YOU 866 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,048 WOULD BE PRETTY CONFUSED. 867 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,950 IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WAS 868 00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:05,550 MEASURING THE SHRINKING HEIGHT 869 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:06,051 OF AN ELDERLY GIANT WITH 870 00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:08,186 OSTEOPOROSIS. 871 00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:09,755 [LAUGHTER] 872 00:23:09,821 --> 00:23:10,822 BUT IN RECENT YEARS, AS LARGE 873 00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:12,491 FARMING OPERATIONS HAVE DRILLED 874 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:14,359 DEEPER AND SUCKED UP MORE WATER, 875 00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:15,494 THERE HAVE BEEN ESCALATING 876 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,661 IMPACTS FOR THE SHALLOWER WELLS 877 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,464 THAT FAMILIES USE. 878 00:23:19,531 --> 00:23:20,665 LAST YEAR IN CALIFORNIA, NEARLY 879 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,900 A THOUSAND SHALLOW HOUSEHOLD 880 00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:23,602 WELLS WENT DRY. 881 00:23:23,668 --> 00:23:26,138 AND FOR ANYONE WHO'S EVER LOST 882 00:23:26,204 --> 00:23:27,372 ONE, IT CAN BE A REAL BURDEN. 883 00:23:27,439 --> 00:23:28,673 >> THIS IS WHERE WE CATCH OUR 884 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,776 WATER SO WE CAN FLUSH TOILETS. 885 00:23:30,842 --> 00:23:33,411 GET UP IN THE MORNING, TAKE TWO 886 00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:35,113 BOTTLES OF RAINWATER, PUT IT IN 887 00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:36,214 THE COFFEE POT, MY FIANCE WILL 888 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:38,183 COME IN. 889 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,718 SHE'LL HELP ME WASH MY HANDS, 890 00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:41,319 AND WE'LL TAKE THIS WATER, 891 00:23:41,386 --> 00:23:42,821 RECYCLE IT, PUT IT IN A BUCKET 892 00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:43,822 OUT THERE UNTIL IT GETS ENOUGH 893 00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:44,623 TO WHERE WE CAN FLUSH THE 894 00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:45,791 TOILET. 895 00:23:45,857 --> 00:23:49,227 >> WHAT ABOUT SHOWERING? 896 00:23:49,294 --> 00:23:51,029 >> WELL, USUALLY WE HAVE TO GO 897 00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,030 INTO TOWN TO ONE OF MY FRIEND'S 898 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,098 HOUSE. 899 00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,266 AND IF I CAN'T GO TO MY FRIEND'S 900 00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:56,268 HOUSE, YOU'LL SEE SOME GUYS 901 00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:58,236 THAT -- THERE'S ADS, EVEN, ON 902 00:23:58,303 --> 00:23:58,870 CRAIGSLIST, TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A 903 00:23:58,937 --> 00:23:59,538 SHOWER. 904 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:00,972 "FIVE BUCKS TO TAKE A SHOWER," 905 00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:02,174 THAT KIND OF STUFF. 906 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,175 THAT'S WHAT KIND OF PLACE IT IS 907 00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:04,209 AROUND HERE. 908 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,443 >> John: WOW. 909 00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:06,378 USING CRAIGSLIST TO TAKE A 910 00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:09,748 SHOWER. 911 00:24:09,815 --> 00:24:10,148 [LAUGHTER] 912 00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,883 THAT IS LEGITIMATELY HORRIFYING. 913 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,218 HOW DO YOU EVEN WRITE AN AD FOR 914 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:13,752 THAT WITHOUT IT SOUNDING 915 00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:14,986 SUSPICIOUS? 916 00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:16,855 "SEEKING SHOWER FOR $5: 917 00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:18,156 34-YEAR-OLD ADULT NON-CREEP 918 00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:19,424 LOOKING FOR FELLOW NON-CREEPY 919 00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:20,192 ADULT TO ALLOW ME TO USE THEIR 920 00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:20,926 SHOWER. 921 00:24:20,992 --> 00:24:22,227 THIS IS NOT A EUPHEMISM. 922 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:23,461 THERE'S A WATER SHORTAGE AND I 923 00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:23,995 GENUINELY JUST WANT TO GET 924 00:24:24,062 --> 00:24:24,863 WASHED. 925 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:28,099 AGAIN, NOT A EUPHEMISM. 926 00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:29,801 THIS ISN'T SEXUAL IN ANY WAY. 927 00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:30,902 I WILL HAPPILY PAY FIVE AMERICAN 928 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:31,570 DOLLARS FOR THE SHOWER. 929 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:32,971 YOU CAN'T WATCH, YOU CAN'T TAPE 930 00:24:33,038 --> 00:24:33,805 IT, YOU CAN'T BE WEIRD. 931 00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:34,940 I'M JUST GOING TO COME INTO YOUR 932 00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,041 HOUSE, HAND YOU A $5 BILL, GET 933 00:24:36,107 --> 00:24:38,043 IN THE SHOWER, WASH MY HAIR AND 934 00:24:38,109 --> 00:24:38,710 BODY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, AND 935 00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:39,578 THEN LEAVE, ALL WHILE MAKING THE 936 00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:40,445 LEAST AMOUNT OF EYE CONTACT 937 00:24:40,512 --> 00:24:41,446 POSSIBLE. 938 00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:42,247 WE WON'T TALK OR HAVE ANY 939 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,481 CONVERSATION. 940 00:24:43,548 --> 00:24:44,115 IDEALLY, YOU WILL FORGET THIS 941 00:24:44,182 --> 00:24:45,817 WHOLE THING EVER HAPPENED. 942 00:24:45,884 --> 00:24:46,852 ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T 943 00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:47,519 LIKE THE WAY ANY OF THIS IS 944 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:48,253 SOUNDING, SO I'M JUST GOING TO 945 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,955 STAY DIRTY FOREVER. 946 00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:51,156 PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME WITH 947 00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:53,925 UNSOLICITED SERVICES OR OFFERS." 948 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:54,559 [LAUGHTER] 949 00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:56,628 [APPLAUSE] 950 00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,463 BUT PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT 951 00:24:58,530 --> 00:24:59,464 THING TO KNOW ABOUT GROUNDWATER 952 00:24:59,531 --> 00:25:00,432 IS THAT IT'S NOT TOTALLY 953 00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:01,366 INDEPENDENT OF SURFACE WATER AT 954 00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:02,334 ALL. 955 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,969 THESE ARE OFTEN PART OF ONE 956 00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:06,705 INTERTWINED HYDROLOGICAL SYSTEM, 957 00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:08,306 SO WHEN YOU PUMP GROUNDWATER, IT 958 00:25:08,373 --> 00:25:10,475 CAN ULTIMATELY DRY UP RIVERS. 959 00:25:10,542 --> 00:25:11,610 THE CONNECTION BETWEEN 960 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:13,211 GROUNDWATER AND SURFACE WATER IS 961 00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:14,546 ONE OF THOSE ALARMING 962 00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:15,180 CONNECTIONS THAT WE JUST CHOOSE 963 00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:16,314 TO FORGET. 964 00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:17,515 YOU KNOW, LIKE THE ONE BETWEEN 965 00:25:17,582 --> 00:25:19,584 ELISABETH MOSS AND SCIENTOLOGY. 966 00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:23,388 IT'S SO MUCH EASIER JUST NOT TO 967 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,724 REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. 968 00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:26,658 [LAUGHTER] 969 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:27,859 SO, TO RECAP: FOR DECADES NOW, 970 00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:29,194 WE'VE BEEN USING MORE WATER THAN 971 00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:30,896 THE COLORADO RIVER HAS, EVEN AS 972 00:25:30,962 --> 00:25:31,563 WE HAVE RAPIDLY DEPLETED 973 00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:33,365 CRITICAL GROUNDWATER SUPPLIES. 974 00:25:33,431 --> 00:25:35,033 AND WHEN IT COMES TO RESPONDING 975 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,167 TO THIS CRISIS, PLACES HAVE GONE 976 00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:39,037 IN VERY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. 977 00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:39,671 ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS, AND YOU 978 00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:41,306 ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, 979 00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:43,575 IS ACTUALLY LAS VEGAS. 980 00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:45,644 WHICH I KNOW AUTOMATICALLY FEELS 981 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:47,946 WEIRD, BECAUSE WHEN YOU THINK OF 982 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:48,580 VEGAS, YOU PROBABLY THINK OF IT 983 00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:49,214 AS A PLACE THAT USES WATER FOR 984 00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:50,515 THINGS LIKE THIS: 985 00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:55,220 >> HOW YOU DOIN'? 986 00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:58,290 >> SO, WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT? 987 00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:01,793 >> THIS IS JUST A MUSTY 988 00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:03,028 WATERFALL, A DRIZZLING FOUNTAIN. 989 00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:04,062 >> APPRECIATE THE UNIQUENESS. 990 00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:11,169 ["FRIENDS" THEME SONG] 991 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:11,436 [LAUGHTER] 992 00:26:11,503 --> 00:26:13,305 >> John: I HONESTLY FEEL BAD FOR 993 00:26:13,371 --> 00:26:14,439 THAT FOUNTAIN. 994 00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:15,507 NO DROP OF WATER EVER DREAMED OF 995 00:26:15,573 --> 00:26:17,242 ONE DAY BEING FORCED TO DANCE TO 996 00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:18,176 THE "FRIENDS" THEME FOR A BUNCH 997 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:22,080 OF DRUNK VEGAS TOURISTS. 998 00:26:22,147 --> 00:26:22,714 NO ONE TOLD THEM LIFE WAS GONNA 999 00:26:22,781 --> 00:26:25,150 BE THIS WAY. 1000 00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:25,917 [LAUGHTER] 1001 00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:27,185 BUT THE THING IS, DESPITE 1002 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,486 LOOKING EXTREMELY WASTEFUL, THE 1003 00:26:28,553 --> 00:26:29,220 BELLAGIO'S FOUNTAIN ACTUALLY 1004 00:26:29,287 --> 00:26:30,155 ISN'T. 1005 00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:31,523 IT USES WATER THAT'S TOO SALTY 1006 00:26:31,589 --> 00:26:33,258 TO DRINK, AND ANNUALLY ONLY USES 1007 00:26:33,325 --> 00:26:34,225 AS MUCH AS WOULD IRRIGATE JUST 1008 00:26:34,292 --> 00:26:35,460 EIGHT ACRES OF ALFALFA. 1009 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:37,228 AND THAT IS JUST ONE TINY WAY 1010 00:26:37,295 --> 00:26:38,229 THAT THE PEOPLE OF VEGAS HAVE 1011 00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:39,798 LEARNED TO CONSERVE WATER. 1012 00:26:39,864 --> 00:26:41,499 THEY'VE ALSO BANNED NEW LAWNS 1013 00:26:41,566 --> 00:26:42,767 AND ORNAMENTAL GRASS THERE, 1014 00:26:42,834 --> 00:26:43,768 WHICH SHOULD SAVE ABOUT TEN 1015 00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:46,071 BILLION GALLONS A YEAR. 1016 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:48,073 AND OVERALL, EVEN THOUGH THE 1017 00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:49,374 POPULATION OF THE VEGAS METRO 1018 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:52,410 AREA GREW BY 34% BETWEEN 2002 1019 00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:54,646 AND 2013, ITS USE OF COLORADO 1020 00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:55,714 RIVER WATER ACTUALLY DROPPED BY 1021 00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:58,283 OVER A QUARTER. 1022 00:26:58,350 --> 00:26:59,951 SO VEGAS COULD ACTUALLY BE 1023 00:27:00,018 --> 00:27:01,419 SOMETHING OF A MODEL FOR OTHER 1024 00:27:01,486 --> 00:27:02,687 PLACES WHEN IT COMES TO WATER 1025 00:27:02,754 --> 00:27:03,254 CONSERVATION, AND LITERALLY 1026 00:27:03,321 --> 00:27:05,557 NOTHING ELSE. 1027 00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:06,791 [LAUGHTER] 1028 00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:07,792 BUT UNFORTUNATELY, NOT 1029 00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:08,927 EVERYWHERE IS TAKING IT THAT 1030 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:09,995 SERIOUSLY, WITH THE WORST 1031 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:12,263 EXAMPLE BEING UTAH. 1032 00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:14,332 HOME OF BOTH THE UTAH JAZZ AND 1033 00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:16,001 THEIR MASCOT, JAZZ BEAR, WHO 1034 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,702 ANSWERS THE QUESTION, "WHAT IF 1035 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:18,937 WILE E. COYOTE WAS A JOCK WHO 1036 00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:19,604 ALSO WANTED TO MURDER ME IN MY 1037 00:27:19,671 --> 00:27:21,873 SLEEP?" 1038 00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:22,574 [LAUGHTER] 1039 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,677 CRUSH ME, KING. 1040 00:27:25,744 --> 00:27:26,778 UTAH RESIDENTS USE THE MOST 1041 00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:28,646 WATER OF ANY WESTERN STATE. 1042 00:27:28,713 --> 00:27:30,315 AND NOWHERE IS THIS MORE TRUE 1043 00:27:30,382 --> 00:27:31,516 THAN ST. GEORGE, WHICH HAS 1044 00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:32,751 BECOME ONE OF THE 1045 00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:34,319 FASTEST-GROWING METRO AREAS IN 1046 00:27:34,386 --> 00:27:35,587 THE COUNTRY, WITH PER-PERSON 1047 00:27:35,653 --> 00:27:36,287 WATER CONSUMPTION AMONG THE 1048 00:27:36,354 --> 00:27:37,889 HIGHEST. 1049 00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:39,891 NOT ONLY DOES ST. GEORGE HAVE 1050 00:27:39,958 --> 00:27:41,693 VERY CHEAP WATER RATES, THEIR 1051 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,028 COUNTY -- WHICH IS IN THE 1052 00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:45,663 DESERT, REMEMBER -- HAS AT LEAST 1053 00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:47,032 A DOZEN GOLF COURSES, INCLUDING 1054 00:27:47,098 --> 00:27:48,333 THESE. 1055 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,667 AND GOLF COURSES USE A SHIT-TON 1056 00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:51,169 OF WATER! 1057 00:27:51,236 --> 00:27:53,938 THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE DUMBEST 1058 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:54,539 POSSIBLE THING TO PUT INTO THE 1059 00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:55,407 MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, OTHER 1060 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,976 THAN, OF COURSE, BURNING MAN. 1061 00:27:58,043 --> 00:27:59,077 [LAUGHTER] 1062 00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:00,345 AND WHILE UTAH HAS RECENTLY 1063 00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:01,646 PASSED SOME NEW LAWS ENCOURAGING 1064 00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:02,914 CONSERVATION, THEY'VE ALSO BEEN 1065 00:28:02,981 --> 00:28:04,516 PURSUING A BILLION DOLLAR 1066 00:28:04,582 --> 00:28:05,984 PIPELINE TO BRING IN WHAT SOME 1067 00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:08,386 IN UTAH INSIST IS ADDITIONAL 1068 00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:13,491 SURPLUS WATER FROM LAKE POWELL, 1069 00:28:13,558 --> 00:28:14,492 A SURPLUS THAT ANYONE WHO SO 1070 00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:15,827 MUCH AS LOOKS AT THAT LAKE WOULD 1071 00:28:15,894 --> 00:28:17,495 KNOW, SIMPLY DOES NOT EXIST. 1072 00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:18,129 AND I KNOW THAT SEEMS WILDLY 1073 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:20,698 IRRESPONSIBLE ON UTAH'S PART. 1074 00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:23,368 AND THAT IS BECAUSE IT IS. 1075 00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:24,269 THOUGH, TO BE FAIR, IT'S STILL 1076 00:28:24,335 --> 00:28:25,336 NOT THE WORST IDEA THEY'VE HAD. 1077 00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:26,771 BECAUSE JUST WATCH THIS VIDEO 1078 00:28:26,838 --> 00:28:28,206 FROM THE GOVERNOR OF UTAH IN 1079 00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:30,875 RESPONSE TO DROUGHT CONDITIONS 1080 00:28:30,942 --> 00:28:32,077 THERE JUST LAST YEAR. 1081 00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,445 >> WE NEED MORE RAIN, AND WE 1082 00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:34,245 NEED IT NOW. 1083 00:28:34,312 --> 00:28:34,946 WE NEED SOME DIVINE 1084 00:28:35,013 --> 00:28:37,415 INTERVENTION. 1085 00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:38,083 [LAUGHTER] 1086 00:28:38,149 --> 00:28:39,384 THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING UTAHNS OF 1087 00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:41,152 ALL FAITHS TO JOIN ME IN A 1088 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:42,287 WEEKEND OF PRAYER, JUNE 4TH 1089 00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,389 THROUGH THE 6TH. 1090 00:28:44,456 --> 00:28:46,124 BY PRAYING COLLABORATIVELY AND 1091 00:28:46,191 --> 00:28:47,392 COLLECTIVELY, ASKING GOD OR 1092 00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,527 WHATEVER HIGHER POWER YOU 1093 00:28:49,594 --> 00:28:51,262 BELIEVE IN FOR MORE RAIN, WE MAY 1094 00:28:51,329 --> 00:28:52,697 BE ABLE TO ESCAPE THE DEADLIEST 1095 00:28:52,764 --> 00:28:53,565 ASPECTS OF THE CONTINUING 1096 00:28:53,631 --> 00:28:54,632 DROUGHT. 1097 00:28:54,699 --> 00:28:57,302 >> John WOW. 1098 00:28:57,368 --> 00:28:59,971 YOU KNOW UTAH IS DESPERATE WHEN 1099 00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:01,039 THEY ASK "ALL FAITHS" TO JOIN IN 1100 00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:02,974 A PRAYER. 1101 00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:04,075 "I'M ASKING UTAHNS OF ALL 1102 00:29:04,142 --> 00:29:05,643 FAITHS -- WHETHER THAT'S THE 1103 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:07,145 MORMON, OR ONE OF THE MANY WRONG 1104 00:29:07,212 --> 00:29:08,947 ONES -- TO COLLECTIVELY PRAY TO 1105 00:29:09,013 --> 00:29:10,882 THE CHRISTIAN GOD AND THE FALSE 1106 00:29:10,949 --> 00:29:12,650 DEITIES THE REST OF YOU WORSHIP 1107 00:29:12,717 --> 00:29:14,419 FOR MORE RAIN, SO WE CAN SOLVE 1108 00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:15,587 THIS CRISIS BEFORE THOSE OF YOU 1109 00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:16,921 WHO HAVE NOT ACCEPTED JESUS 1110 00:29:16,988 --> 00:29:18,022 CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART BURN IN 1111 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,592 THE FIRES OF ETERNAL HELL." 1112 00:29:20,658 --> 00:29:22,760 [LAUGHTER] 1113 00:29:22,827 --> 00:29:23,495 SO WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT ALL 1114 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:24,562 THIS? 1115 00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:25,330 WELL, WE CAN START BY 1116 00:29:25,396 --> 00:29:26,264 ACKNOWLEDGING SOME UNCOMFORTABLE 1117 00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:27,265 TRUTHS. 1118 00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:29,801 FIRST, STATES LIKE UTAH ARE NOT 1119 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:31,136 GOING TO BE ABLE TO USE THE FULL 1120 00:29:31,202 --> 00:29:32,137 AMOUNT OF WATER THEY THINK 1121 00:29:32,203 --> 00:29:34,005 THEY'RE ENTITLED TO, PRIMARILY 1122 00:29:34,072 --> 00:29:35,039 BECAUSE THAT FULL AMOUNT NEVER 1123 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:35,740 ACTUALLY EXISTED IN THE FIRST 1124 00:29:35,807 --> 00:29:37,742 PLACE. 1125 00:29:37,809 --> 00:29:39,477 BUT IT IS NOT JUST UTAH. 1126 00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:41,146 NO STATE CAN CONTINUE USING 1127 00:29:41,212 --> 00:29:41,813 WATER THE WAY THEY'VE GOTTEN 1128 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:42,847 USED TO. 1129 00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:44,215 EXPERTS SUGGEST IT MIGHT HELP 1130 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:46,885 ACTUALLY NOT TO USE THE WORD 1131 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:48,853 "DROUGHT" AT ALL, WHICH SOUNDS 1132 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:54,092 TEMPORARY, AND INSTEAD USE THE 1133 00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:54,993 TERM "ARIDIFICATION" AS A 1134 00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:56,528 BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE WHAT 1135 00:29:56,594 --> 00:29:57,862 MIGHT BE A LONG-TERM DRYING OF 1136 00:29:57,929 --> 00:29:58,830 THE AMERICAN WEST. 1137 00:29:58,897 --> 00:29:59,931 SO WE NEED TO BE INCENTIVIZING 1138 00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:00,732 CONSERVATION AND WATER 1139 00:30:00,798 --> 00:30:02,300 EFFICIENCY, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT 1140 00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:03,334 COMES TO AGRICULTURE, AND STOP 1141 00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:04,869 WITH OUR MAGICAL THINKING TOWARD 1142 00:30:04,936 --> 00:30:08,806 WATER, WHICH HAS BEEN A 1143 00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:12,143 DEPRESSINGLY COMMON THEME 1144 00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:13,378 THROUGHOUT HISTORY. 1145 00:30:13,444 --> 00:30:14,212 DURING A DROUGHT IN THE '90s, 1146 00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,780 CITY OFFICIALS IN VENTURA, 1147 00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:16,981 CALIFORNIA, DECIDED TO STUDY THE 1148 00:30:17,048 --> 00:30:17,849 POSSIBILITY OF HAULING ICEBERGS 1149 00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:19,083 FROM THE POLAR CAPS AND PLANTING 1150 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:20,151 THEM OFF THE COUNTY'S SHORES. 1151 00:30:20,218 --> 00:30:21,819 ONE PROPONENT EVEN SUGGESTED, 1152 00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:23,621 "WE'D HAVE TO WRAP THE ICEBERG 1153 00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:25,290 WITH A DIAPER" TO COLLECT THE 1154 00:30:25,356 --> 00:30:27,058 MELTING ICEBERG WATER. 1155 00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:28,426 MORE RECENTLY, ARIZONA PASSED A 1156 00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:30,094 RESOLUTION TO STUDY BUILDING A 1157 00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,329 PIPELINE FROM THE MISSISSIPPI 1158 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,731 RIVER TO THE COLORADO RIVER. 1159 00:30:33,798 --> 00:30:36,734 AND IF YOU'VE EVER SEEN A MAP OF 1160 00:30:36,801 --> 00:30:38,670 THE U.S., YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED 1161 00:30:38,736 --> 00:30:39,537 THAT THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER IS 1162 00:30:39,604 --> 00:30:40,872 ALL THE WAY OVER HERE, AND 1163 00:30:40,939 --> 00:30:42,507 ARIZONA IS ALL THE WAY OVER 1164 00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:43,741 HERE, SO TO DO THAT, YOU'D NEED 1165 00:30:43,808 --> 00:30:44,876 A PIPELINE THAT'S OVER A 1166 00:30:44,943 --> 00:30:46,945 THOUSAND MILES LONG. 1167 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:48,479 AND THE ONLY WAY THAT IDEA COULD 1168 00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:49,247 GET ANY DUMBER IS IF THE 1169 00:30:49,314 --> 00:30:49,914 PIPELINE WAS ALSO SOMEHOW 1170 00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:52,517 WRAPPED IN A DIAPER. 1171 00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:53,618 [LAUGHTER] 1172 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:54,519 DON'T WORRY, EVERYONE: CHASE IS 1173 00:30:54,586 --> 00:30:58,856 ON THE CASE! 1174 00:30:58,923 --> 00:31:00,058 THE FACT IS, STATES NEED TO 1175 00:31:00,124 --> 00:31:00,658 START WORKING TOGETHER TO CUT 1176 00:31:00,725 --> 00:31:01,759 BACK ON THEIR COLLECTIVE WATER 1177 00:31:01,826 --> 00:31:02,293 USE. 1178 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,728 AND SOME HAVE TRIED SMALL STEPS. 1179 00:31:03,795 --> 00:31:05,096 IN ARIZONA -- HOME, REMEMBER, TO 1180 00:31:05,163 --> 00:31:06,998 OUR CLOSE-UP ALFALFA FARMER -- 1181 00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:07,966 THEY RECENTLY CHANGED THEIR "USE 1182 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,367 IT OR LOSE IT" RULES TO ALLOW 1183 00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:10,468 FOR MORE CONSERVATION. 1184 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:12,270 AND IN CALIFORNIA, IN 2014, THEY 1185 00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:13,571 PASSED THE SUSTAINABLE 1186 00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:14,372 GROUNDWATER MANAGEMENT ACT, TO 1187 00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:15,406 TRY AND BRING GROUNDWATER 1188 00:31:15,473 --> 00:31:18,776 PUMPING UNDER CONTROL. 1189 00:31:18,843 --> 00:31:20,111 BUT IT IS JUST NOT ENOUGH. 1190 00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:22,213 AND THAT MAY BE WHY SOMETHING 1191 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:22,814 VERY BIG HAPPENED JUST A WEEK 1192 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,082 AGO. 1193 00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:26,284 BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT DROPPED A 1194 00:31:26,351 --> 00:31:28,486 BOMBSHELL ON THE COLORADO RIVER 1195 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,821 STATES, TELLING THEM "THEY HAVE 1196 00:31:29,887 --> 00:31:31,389 60 DAYS TO CREATE AN EMERGENCY 1197 00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:33,524 PLAN TO STOP USING BETWEEN TWO 1198 00:31:33,591 --> 00:31:35,293 AND FOUR MILLION ACRE-FEET OF 1199 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:43,568 WATER IN THE NEXT YEAR," WHICH 1200 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:45,136 IS A MASSIVE AMOUNT, "OR THE 1201 00:31:45,203 --> 00:31:46,037 AGENCY WILL USE ITS EMERGENCY 1202 00:31:46,104 --> 00:31:47,071 AUTHORITY TO MAKE THE CUTS 1203 00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:47,839 ITSELF." 1204 00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:49,073 WHICH IS A DRASTIC MOVE, BUT WE 1205 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:49,841 ARE IN A DRASTIC SITUATION. 1206 00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:50,908 SO LET'S HOPE THOSE STATES GET 1207 00:31:50,975 --> 00:31:52,176 TO WORK IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS 1208 00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:53,611 AND COME UP WITH A DECENT PLAN. 1209 00:31:53,678 --> 00:31:54,545 BECAUSE WE DESPERATELY NEED TO 1210 00:31:54,612 --> 00:31:56,314 PREPARE FOR A MUCH DRIER FUTURE 1211 00:31:56,381 --> 00:31:57,849 IN THE AMERICAN WEST, AND DO IT 1212 00:31:57,915 --> 00:32:00,551 MORE EQUITABLY THIS TIME. 1213 00:32:00,618 --> 00:32:01,686 BECAUSE IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE 1214 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:04,289 LEARN FROM OUR PAST MISTAKES. 1215 00:32:04,355 --> 00:32:05,823 AND FOR ANYONE WHO STILL THINKS 1216 00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:08,393 THAT THIS IS SOMETHING WE CAN 1217 00:32:08,459 --> 00:32:09,994 JUST PRAY OUR WAY OUT OF, I 1218 00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,429 ACTUALLY HAVE A SPECIAL MESSAGE 1219 00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:16,000 FROM A VERY SPECIAL GUEST: 1220 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:22,173 [ANGELIC SINGING] 1221 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,310 >> HI. 1222 00:32:25,376 --> 00:32:28,279 IT'S ME, GOD. 1223 00:32:28,346 --> 00:32:30,381 I KNOW I DON'T OFTEN DO THIS, 1224 00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:31,816 BUT I JUST WANTED TO APPEAR IN 1225 00:32:31,883 --> 00:32:34,619 PERSON TO MAKE ONE THING 1226 00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:36,988 PERFECTLY CLEAR: YOU CAN'T PRAY 1227 00:32:37,055 --> 00:32:39,590 YOUR WAY OUT OF A DROUGHT. 1228 00:32:39,657 --> 00:32:40,792 FRANKLY, I'M INSULTED YOU EVEN 1229 00:32:40,858 --> 00:32:42,760 ASKED ME. 1230 00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:44,796 YOU GOT YOURSELF IN THIS FUCKING 1231 00:32:44,862 --> 00:32:46,431 MESS, GET YOURSELF THE FUCK OUT 1232 00:32:46,497 --> 00:32:47,899 OF IT. 1233 00:32:47,965 --> 00:32:50,101 I GAVE YOU PLENTY OF WATER. 1234 00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:51,369 IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU WASTED IT 1235 00:32:51,436 --> 00:32:53,471 BUILDING SURFING LAGOONS AND 1236 00:32:53,538 --> 00:32:54,672 GOLF COURSES IN THE MIDDLE OF A 1237 00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:59,477 FUCKING DESERT. 1238 00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:01,446 UTAH, YOUR CAPITAL IS 1239 00:33:01,512 --> 00:33:04,749 SALT LAKE CITY. 1240 00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:08,519 IT'S NEXT TO A SALT LAKE. 1241 00:33:08,586 --> 00:33:10,922 A LAKE OF SALT. 1242 00:33:10,988 --> 00:33:13,725 TAKE THE FUCKING HINT. 1243 00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:15,626 SO, NO, I WILL NOT BE ANSWERING 1244 00:33:15,693 --> 00:33:17,762 YOUR PRAYER FOR RAIN. 1245 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:20,898 FOR THE RECORD, I'VE ONLY EVER, 1246 00:33:20,965 --> 00:33:23,000 EVER ANSWERED ONE PRAYER: LITTLE 1247 00:33:23,067 --> 00:33:26,104 TIMMY PENDLETON WANTED A HESS 1248 00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:29,107 TRUCK FOR HIS BIRTHDAY IN 1986, 1249 00:33:29,173 --> 00:33:32,443 AND I MADE SURE HE GOT ONE. 1250 00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:34,979 THE KID JUST REALLY SEEMED TO 1251 00:33:35,046 --> 00:33:36,681 WANT THAT TRUCK, AND MAYBE I 1252 00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:38,116 FELT BAD ABOUT KILLING BOTH HIS 1253 00:33:38,182 --> 00:33:39,350 PARENTS WITH THAT TORNADO. 1254 00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:41,786 I DON'T KNOW. 1255 00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,554 THERE'S SO MANY THINGS I'D 1256 00:33:43,621 --> 00:33:45,590 RATHER TALK ABOUT TO YOU THAN 1257 00:33:45,656 --> 00:33:50,128 YOUR STUPID, STUPID WATER USAGE! 1258 00:33:50,194 --> 00:33:51,696 LIKE THE MEANING OF LIFE, OR 1259 00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:52,597 WHICH ANIMAL I CREATED BY 1260 00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:54,198 MISTAKE. 1261 00:33:54,265 --> 00:33:57,201 GUINEA PIGS, BY THE WAY. 1262 00:33:57,268 --> 00:34:00,605 THE POINT IS, I WANT HUMANS OF 1263 00:34:00,671 --> 00:34:03,441 ALL FAITHS TO COME TOGETHER AND 1264 00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:06,344 ACT LIKE RATIONAL FUCKING ADULTS 1265 00:34:06,411 --> 00:34:09,080 WHEN IT COMES TO WATER USE. 1266 00:34:09,147 --> 00:34:11,482 HEED MY WORDS, MY CHILDREN, AND 1267 00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:13,918 CONSERVE THE ONCE BOUNTIFUL 1268 00:34:13,985 --> 00:34:16,687 GIFTS OF RIVERS AND LAKES, WHICH 1269 00:34:16,754 --> 00:34:22,860 I CREATED FOR YOU ON EARTH. 1270 00:34:22,927 --> 00:34:29,133 NOW, FUCK OFF. 1271 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,435 [APPLAUSE] 1272 00:34:30,501 --> 00:34:31,602 >> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANK 1273 00:34:31,669 --> 00:34:32,770 YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 1274 00:34:32,837 --> 00:34:34,038 WE'RE OFF FOR A FEW WEEKS, BACK 1275 00:34:34,105 --> 00:34:34,439 JULY 24TH. 1276 00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:37,508 SEE YOU THEN, GOOD NIGHT! 1277 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:43,114 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1278 00:34:43,181 --> 00:34:52,190 ♪ ♪ 1279 00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:54,992 >> I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF. 1280 00:34:55,059 --> 00:34:57,995 FUCK OFF.