♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT."
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
AL QAIDA'S LEADER WAS KILLED BY
THE U.S., KANSANS OVERWHELMINGLY
PRESERVED ABORTION PROTECTIONS,
AND THERE WAS A BIG SCANDAL IN
THE WORLD OF SCIENCE.
>> A PROMINENT FRENCH SCIENTIST
IS APOLOGIZING AFTER TWEETING A
PHOTO HE CLAIMED WAS THE IMAGE
OF A DISTANT STAR TAKEN BY THE
JAMES WEBB SPACE TELESCOPE.
TURNS OUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A
CLOSE UP PHOTO OF A SLICE OF
CHORIZO SAUSAGE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: WHAT A GREAT SCIENCE
JOKE!
ALSO, THIS IS PROBABLY A GOOD
TIME TO TELL YOU, THAT OTHER
JAMES WEBB TELESCOPE PHOTO WAS
ACTUALLY JUST ONE OF THOSE OLD
MOVIE THEATER CARPETS.
YOU IDIOT!
[LAUGHTER]
YOU SERIOUSLY GRAPPLED WITH THE
EXISTENCE OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL
LIFE OVER THAT PHOTO.
WHAT A FUCKING MORON!
ANYWAY, WE'RE GOING TO START
TONIGHT WITH ALEX JONES.
A MAN WHO BOLDLY ANSWERS THE
QUESTION, "WHAT IF GRIMACE WERE
A PROUD BOY?"
[LAUGHTER]
BECAUSE JONES HAS HAD HIMSELF
QUITE THE WEEK.
>> JONES UNDER PRESSURE, FOUND
LIABLE IN THREE SEPARATE
DEFAMATION LAWSUITS BROUGHT BY
THE FAMILIES OF TEN VICTIMS OF
THE SANDY HOOK MASSACRE.
THE JURY FOR THIS CASE
DETERMINING HOW MUCH JONES MUST
PAY FOR HIS LIES.
>> SANDY HOOK IS A SYNTHETIC,
COMPLETELY FAKE, WITH ACTORS, IN
MY VIEW, MANUFACTURED.
>> John: LOOK, OBVIOUSLY, THOSE
CLAIMS WERE DISGUSTING.
BUT THEY SHOULDN'T BE THAT
SURPRISING, COMING FROM A GUY
WHO LITERALLY NAMED HIS PLATFORM
AFTER GOING TO WAR WITH
INFORMATION.
[LAUGHTER]
GUESS WHAT, ALEX?
YOU FUCKED WITH INFO, AND THIS
TIME, INFO FUCKING WON.
NOT THAT JONES HAS PUT UP MUCH
OF A FIGHT.
IN FACT, JUDGES HAVE ISSUED
DEFAULT JUDGMENTS AGAINST JONES
IN MULTIPLE SUITS REGARDING HIS
SANDY HOOK REMARKS, AFTER HE
FAILED TO COMPLY WITH COURT
ORDERS.
SO THE TRIAL THIS WEEK WAS
THE FIRST OF THREE IN WHICH THE
ONLY QUESTION IS DETERMINING HOW
MUCH HE'LL HAVE TO PAY.
AND THE WAY HE'S HANDLED THIS
TRIAL IS ALMOST A MASTER CLASS
IN "WHAT NOT TO DO IN COURT."
[LAUGHTER]
STARTING WITH THE FACT HE LIED
SO MANY TIMES, THE EXASPERATED
JUDGE HAD TO SAY THIS:
>> IT SEEMS ABSURD TO INSTRUCT
YOU, AGAIN, THAT YOU MUST TELL
THE TRUTH WHILE YOU TESTIFY, YET
HERE I AM: YOU MUST TELL THE
TRUTH WHILE YOU TESTIFY.
THIS IS NOT YOUR SHOW.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE
SAID?
YES OR NO?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE
SAID?
>> YES.
I BELIEVE WHAT I SAID WAS TRUE,
SO I DON'T --
>> YES, YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING
YOU SAY IS TRUE, BUT IT ISN'T.
YOUR BELIEFS DO NOT MAKE
SOMETHING TRUE.
THAT IS -- THAT IS WHAT WE'RE
DOING HERE!
>> John: YEAH, AND YOU CAN
UNDERSTAND HER FRUSTRATION
THERE.
WHEN IT COMES TO RULES A JUDGE
DOESN'T EXPECT TO HAVE TO SPELL
OUT, "DON'T LIE IN COURT" IS
RIGHT UP THERE WITH "YOU HAVE TO
LEAVE YOUR BEER OUTSIDE,"
"IT'S NOT ADMISSIBLE EVIDENCE IF
IT HAPPENED IN A DREAM," AND
"WE DO NOT CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN
IN HERE."
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY WAY
THAT JONES PROVOKED THE JUDGE.
BECAUSE HE'S ALSO CONTINUED TO
DO HIS SHOW, ON WHICH HE
HAS -- AMONG OTHER THINGS --
BASELESSLY LINKED HER TO
PEDOPHILIA, AND SHOWN THIS IMAGE
OF HER ENGULFED IN FLAMES.
HE ALSO WENT AFTER THE JURY,
QUESTIONING THEIR INTELLIGENCE
AND IMPLYING THAT HIS POLITICAL
ENEMIES HAD HANDPICKED
BLUE-COLLAR PEOPLE WHO WERE
ILL-EQUIPPED TO DECIDE WHAT
MONETARY DAMAGES HE MUST PAY.
HE EVEN ENGAGED IN THE PETTIEST
KIND OF BEHAVIOR, LIKE THIS:
>> SPIT YOUR GUM OUT, MR JONES.
>> IT'S NOT GUM.
>> WELL, WHAT IS IT?
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED FOOD
OR GUM OF ANY KIND IN THE
COURTROOM.
>> I HAD MY TOOTH PULLED A WEEK
AND A HALF AGO.
AND I HAD SOME GAUZE IN THERE
EARLIER.
AND IT'S BEEN CAUSING ME TO HAVE
SOME PAIN.
>> SO, YOU'RE CHEWING ON YOUR
GAUZE?
>> WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOW
YOU?
>> NO.
>> RIGHT HERE.
>> I JUST WANT YOU TO ANSWER
MY QUESTION.
>> I WAS MASSAGING THE HOLE IN
MY MOUTH WITH MY TONGUE.
I'LL SHOW YOU RIGHT HERE.
>> I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE
INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: HOLY SHIT.
IF YOU HEARD JUST HER SIDE OF
THAT INTERACTION -- FROM "SPIT
IT OUT" TO "I DON'T WANT TO SEE
THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH" --
YOU'D ASSUME SHE WAS TALKING TO
A, A SMALL CHILD, OR B, A DOG.
YOU WOULD NOT GUESS SHE WAS
TALKING TO PROFESSIONAL
- CONSPIRACIST/ - GROWN MAN, ALEX
JONES, UNTIL AT LEAST GUESS D.
THAT IS PATHETIC ENOUGH BEFORE
YOU LEARN, LATER THAT DAY, YOU
COULD VERY CLEARLY SEE HIM
TURNING AWAY FROM THE JUDGE AND
PUTTING SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH.
[LAUGHTER]
LOOK, OBVIOUSLY, A LOT OF THIS
WAS DELIBERATE SHTICK ON JONES'S
PART.
HE DECIDED TO MAKE THIS COURT
HEARING A CIRCUS, BECAUSE HE'S
IN THE CIRCUS BUSINESS.
WHICH IS PARTICULARLY
DESPICABLE, BECAUSE THE PARENTS
OF ONE OF THE CHILDREN THAT WAS
KILLED AT SANDY HOOK, WHO WERE
HARASSED CONSTANTLY BY JONES'S
FANS, WERE IN THAT ROOM.
BUT THERE WAS ONE TWIST THAT HE
MAY NOT HAVE SEEN COMING.
BECAUSE ON WEDNESDAY, ONE OF THE
LAWYERS FOR THE PARENTS
INTRODUCED A TEXT MESSAGE FROM
ALEX JONES'S PHONE, REGARDING
THE SANDY HOOK SHOOTING.
WHICH WAS NOTABLE, BECAUSE HE'D
PREVIOUSLY TESTIFIED THAT HE'D
SEARCHED HIS PHONE, AND COULD
FIND NO SUCH MESSAGES.
AND IT THEN EMERGED EXACTLY HOW
IT HAD BEEN OBTAINED.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHERE I GOT THIS?
>> NO.
>> MR. JONES, DID YOU KNOW THAT
12 DAYS AGO -- 12 DAYS AGO --
YOUR ATTORNEYS MESSED UP AND
SENT ME AN ENTIRE DIGITAL COPY
OF YOUR ENTIRE CELL PHONE WITH
EVERY TEXT MESSAGE YOU'VE SENT
FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS?
AND WHEN INFORMED, DID NOT TAKE
ANY STEPS TO IDENTIFY IT AS
PRIVILEGED OR PROTECTED IN ANY
WAY, AND AS OF TWO DAYS AGO, IT
FELL FREE AND CLEAR INTO MY
POSSESSION, AND THAT IS HOW I
KNOW YOU LIED TO ME WHEN YOU
SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE TEXT
MESSAGES ABOUT SANDY HOOK.
>> John: OH, SHIT!
[LAUGHTER]
FIRST, CREDIT TO THAT LAWYER FOR
HAVING THE SUPERHUMAN PATIENCE
TO SIT ON THOSE TEXT MESSAGES
FOR 12 WHOLE DAYS.
JUST IMAGINE RECEIVING THOSE
RECORDS, WITH TEXTS THAT
PROBABLY SAID THINGS LIKE,
"I KNOW SANDY HOOK REALLY
HAPPENED, I'M JUST A GHOUL WHO
WANTS TO MAKE THE WORLD SUFFER
AND MAKE MONEY DOING IT."
FOLLOWED IMMEDIATELY BY ONE
SAYING, "CAN YOU MAKE THE FROGS
LOOK GAYER IN THE GRAPHICS?"
[LAUGHTER]
AND SAYING TO YOURSELF "WAIT,
YOUR TIME WILL COME."
BUT THE CONTENTS OF JONES'S
PHONE COULD BECOME A PROBLEM FOR
HIM.
NOT ONLY HAS THE JANUARY 6th
COMMITTEE ALREADY REQUESTED
THOSE PHONE RECORDS, BUT THEY
ALSO SHOW THAT JONES -- WHO'S
TRIED TO PLEAD POVERTY IN THIS
CASE -- WAS EARNING REVENUE OF
AS MUCH AS $800,000 PER DAY IN
RECENT YEARS FROM SALES.
IN THE END, IT WAS DETERMINED
THAT HAS TO PAY $4 MILLION IN
COMPENSATORY DAMAGES -- BUT, AS
WE NOW KNOW, THAT COULD BE A
WEEK'S WORK FOR HIM -- AND
ANOTHER $45 MILLION IN PUNITIVE
DAMAGES, THOUGH THAT'LL
UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SUBJECT OF
FURTHER LITIGATION.
NONE OF THIS IS GOING TO STOP
HIM.
THERE ARE TWO MORE TRIALS COMING
UP, BUT HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO
FIND WAYS TO TURN THOSE INTO A
CLOWN SHOW, AND FUNDRAISE OFF
THEM, TOO.
BUT AT THE VERY LEAST, THIS
PHONE THING COULD MAKE HIS LIFE
MUCH MORE DIFFICULT, AND FOR A
WHILE.
AND THAT IS SOMETHING WE SHOULD
ALL BE ALLOWED TO ENJOY.
BECAUSE TO WAKE UP ONE MORNING
AND FIND OUT THAT ALEX JONES'
LAWYERS MISTAKENLY SHARED HIS
CELL PHONE RECORDS IS A TRUE
BLESSING.
WE DON'T DESERVE THIS, BUT ONE
THING'S FOR SURE: HE DEFINITELY
DOES.
[APPLAUSE]
AND NOW THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW, SOME
THOUGHTS FROM C-SPAN'S MOST
FREQUENT CALLER.
>> LET'S GET TO SOME PHONE
CALLS.
LET'S GO TO WALTER IN BUTLER,
INDIANA, GOOD MORNING.
IS THE GOVERNMENT DOING ENOUGH
TO PREVENT CYBERATTACKS?
>> THANKS FOR TAKING MY CALL.
I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER, I HAVE
NO IDEA.
>> HERE'S BUTLER, INDIANA, WE
HEAR FROM WALTER.
>> WALTER, BUTLER, INDIANA.
>> WALTER IS JOINING US FROM
BUTLER, INDIANA.
>> ON THE REPUBLICAN LINE,
WALTER.
>> WALTER.
>> WALTER, REPUBLICAN LINE.
GOOD MORNING.
>> WHEN THIS WHOLE CORONA THING
STARTED, I HUNKERED DOWN IN MY
BUNKER, I WENT AND BOUGHT ABOUT
400 BOTTLES OF GOOD IRISH
WHISKEY, I LOADED UP WITH ALL
THE TOP QUALITY MADURO CIGARS.
I WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET AND
GOT CORNED BEEF HASH AND SPAM,
AND I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT IN MY
BUNKER EVER SINCE.
I LOVE WATCHING TV BECAUSE
I'M TOO OLD TO DO EXERCISE SO I
SIT AND WATCH THE BOOB TUBE.
>> THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY CALL.
I USUALLY TALK TO MYSELF AND NO
ONE LISTENS, BUT NOW I HAVE YOU
ON THE LINE.
I DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET, I
DON'T HAVE FACEBOOK, I DON'T
HAVE A CELL PHONE.
WHEN I GET A LITTLE BUMMED OUT,
I GO OUT AND FEED THE DUCKS.
>> I AM THE PROUD OWNER OF NO
INTERNET, NO CELL PHONE, I DON'T
TWEET, FACEBOOK.
I WRITE LETTERS IN CURSIVE, I
PUT THEM IN A MAILBOX WITH A
RETURN-TO-SENDER ADDRESS ON IT.
>> I FEEL BAD, YOU'VE GOT YOUR
CUP OF COFFEE AND YOU'RE
PROBABLY DYING TO TAKE A SWIG
OF IT.
>> I'LL TAKE IT, THANK YOU.
>> THAT'S PROBABLY ALL I'VE GOT
TO SAY, BUT I'VE STILL GOT SPAM.
REMEMBER SPAM?
THE KEY IS TO OPEN IT UP AND PUT
IT ON A FRYING PAN, PUT IT
TOGETHER WITH SOME BREAD AND
MAYO AND YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
>> REMEMBER, WALTER, 30 DAYS IS
THE IN-BETWEEN CALLS HERE ON
"WASHINGTON JOURNAL."
[APPLAUSE]
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN GETTING
MORE AND MORE URGENT OVER THE
PAST TWO MONTHS: LEA MICHELE'S
COMEBACK.
IT'S AN UNPLEASANT SURPRISE, AND
THE LONGER WE LET IT CONTINUE,
THE HARDER IT'LL BE TO STOP.
SORRY, DID I SAY LEA MICHELE'S
COMEBACK?
I MEANT MONKEYPOX.
MONKEYPOX HAS COME AS AN
UNPLEASANT SURPRISE, AND IS
BECOMING INCREASINGLY HARD TO
STOP.
FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS, YOU
MAY HAVE NOTICED MONKEYPOX BEING
DISCUSSED WITH AN INCREASING
SENSE OF ALARM.
>> THERE ARE NOW DOZENS OF
CONFIRMED CASES OF MONKEYPOX IN
THE UNITED STATES.
>> HUNDREDS OF CONFIRMED
MONKEYPOX CASES IN THE U.S.
>> U.S. CASES SKYROCKET FROM
1,400 LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AGO TO
NEARLY 3,000 TODAY.
>> THE CDC NOW REPORTING MORE
THAN 4,600 CASES.
>> MORE THAN 5,200 CASES
REPORTED.
>> MORE THAN 6,300 CASES NOW
REPORTED.
>> CURRENTLY, THE U.S. LEADS THE
WORLD IN CASE COUNT, WITH OVER
7,000.
>> John: YEAH, MONKEYPOX CASES
ARE RISING SHARPLY.
AND THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE WORST
COLLECTION OF WORDS YOU'RE GOING
TO HEAR THIS SUMMER, ASIDE FROM
MAYBE "50 YEAR-OLD DANE COOK
ENGAGED TO LONGTIME 23 YEAR-OLD
GIRLFRIEND."
ALTHOUGH THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY
FAIR.
IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF AN AGE
DIFFERENCE, THEY'RE JUST AN
ENTIRE TIMOTHEE CHALAMET APART.
MATH IS FUN!
BUT THE SPREAD OF MONKEYPOX IS
GENUINELY ALARMING.
ITS MOST OBVIOUS SYMPTOM IS SKIN
LESIONS, WHICH CAN IN SEVERE
CASES BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL, AND
WHILE THE PAIN IS NOT REMOTELY
FUNNY, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GETTING
VERY CREATIVE IN HOW THEY
DESCRIBE IT.
>> I HAD BETWEEN 6 AND 800
LESIONS.
IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE TAKING A
HOLE PUNCHER ALL OVER MY BODY,
RIGHT UNDER MY SKIN.
>> IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY TAKES A
DULL KNIFE THAT IS SEARINGLY HOT
AND IS CUTTING INSIDE OF YOU AND
THEN USES A TOOTHBRUSH
AFTERWARDS AND BRUSHES IT.
>> ANY TIME IT GRAZES SOMETHING
OR TOUCHES SOMETHING, IT
LITERALLY FEELS LIKE SOMEONE'S
TAKING A POTATO PEELER TO YOUR
SKIN.
>> IT'S LIKE SITTING ON SHARDS
OF GLASS.
AND I HOPE THAT'S PG-RATED
ENOUGH.
>> John: THAT SOUNDS REALLY BAD.
AND THIS ISN'T THE POINT, BUT
"SITTING ON SHARDS OF GLASS,"
WHILE NOT ENTIRELY GRAPHIC,
ISN'T EXACTLY PG EITHER.
IF YOU TOOK YOUR KIDS TO SEE
"MINIONS: RISE OF GRU" AND THE
FIRST TEN MINUTES WAS THE YELLOW
THUMBS PLOPPING THEIR ASSES ON
SHARDS OF GLASS, YOU'D RACE YOUR
KIDS OUT OF THE THEATER
IMMEDIATELY.
SADLY, AS WITH COVID, THERE'S A
LOT OF MISINFORMATION FLYING
AROUND RIGHT NOW.
ONLINE, THERE ARE THEORIES LIKE
"MONKEYPOX CAN BE CAUSED BY THE
COVID VACCINE."
WHICH IT CAN'T.
AND THAT IT ESCAPED FROM A LAB,
WHICH IT DIDN'T.
A SPREADING VIRUS, YET AGAIN,
IS BRINGING OUT THE WORST IN
PEOPLE, INCLUDING TARGETING
THOSE SUSPECTED OF CARRYING IT.
TAKE THIS TIKTOK VIDEO OF A
WOMAN ON THE SUBWAY, WITH AN
IMAGE OF A MONKEY AND A QUESTION
MARK, CLEARLY IMPLYING SHE HAD
MONKEYPOX.
IT GOT OVER TWO MILLION VIEWS,
AND WHEN THE WOMAN IN QUESTION
FOUND OUT, THIS IS HOW SHE
RESPONDED:
>> HI, I'M THE GIRL FROM THE
VIDEO IN WHICH YOU'RE WATCHING
IS ME SITTING ON THE TRAIN
TALKING ON THE PHONE.
THE SKIN CONDITION THAT I HAVE
IS CALLED NF1, AND THE BUMPS
THAT YOU SEE ARE TUMORS.
THE TUMORS ARE BENIGN, BUT
THEY'RE STILL ALL OVER MY SKIN
AND GIVE ME A LOT OF HEALTH
COMPLICATIONS, BOTH PHYSICAL AND
MENTAL.
YOU KNOW, I'VE COME A LONG WAY,
AND I LIKE ME.
BUT YOU KNOW, I'M NOT THAT
HEALED, AND I'M NOT ABOVE BEING
VENGEFUL.
>> John: YEAH, 5,000 MIDDLE
FINGERS TO THE DUMB FUCK THAT
THOUGHT TAKING AN UNSOLICITED
VIDEO OF A COMPLETE STRANGER AND
STIGMATIZING THEM FOR A MEDICAL
CONDITION WAS A GOOD IDEA.
THAT IS CLEARLY NOT WHAT TIKTOK
IS FOR.
TIKTOK IS FOR DISCOVERING YOU'VE
BEEN OPENING FREEZER POPS WRONG
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
YEAH, YOU JUST SNAP IT IN THE
MIDDLE!
NO SCISSORS NECESSARY, MY WHOLE
LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE!
[LAUGHTER]
FRUSTRATINGLY, DESPITE THE FACT
WE'RE STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
COVID PANDEMIC, WE SEEM TO BE
REPLICATING SOME OF ITS KEY
MISTAKES, FROM PERSECUTING
STRANGERS TO SPREADING
MISINFORMATION TO BADLY
MISMANAGING THE PUBLIC-HEALTH
RESPONSE.
SO TONIGHT, WE THOUGHT IT'D BE
WORTH TALKING ABOUT MONKEYPOX:
WHAT IT IS, HOW WE'VE FUMBLED
OUR RESPONSE TO IT, AND WHAT WE
SHOULD DO GOING FORWARD.
AND LET'S START WITH THE BASICS
HERE.
MONKEYPOX IS A POX VIRUS.
IT'S PART OF THE SAME FAMILY
THAT CAUSES SMALLPOX, THOUGH
THANKFULLY, IT'S NOT NEARLY AS
TRANSMISSIBLE OR AS FATAL.
IT USUALLY PRESENTS IN HUMANS
WITH FEVER, SWOLLEN LYMPH NODES,
EXHAUSTION, HEADACHE, AND A
RASH, THOUGH IT CAN ALSO CAUSE
COMPLICATIONS LIKE BLINDNESS, IF
THE LESIONS REACH YOUR EYES, AND
IN RARE CASES, CAN RESULT IN
DEATH.
NOW, QUICK NOTE ON THE NAME.
DESPITE BEING CALLED MONKEYPOX,
IT DIDN'T ACTUALLY ORIGINATE IN
MONKEYS.
IT WAS FIRST DISCOVERED IN 1958
IN MONKEYS, IN DENMARK, BUT THEY
LIKELY GOT IT FROM RODENTS, WHO
ARE THOUGHT TO BE THE MAIN
CARRIERS.
IN FACT, IT'S ENDEMIC IN RODENTS
IN CENTRAL AND WEST AFRICA,
WHERE THERE'VE BEEN SPORADIC
OUTBREAKS FOR DECADES NOW, AND
IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN TRANSMITTING
BETWEEN PEOPLE CONTINUOUSLY IN
NIGERIA FOR AT LEAST FIVE YEARS
NOW.
INTERESTINGLY, THE U.S. EVEN HAD
ITS OWN MONKEYPOX OUTBREAK
NEARLY 20 YEARS AGO, WHICH CAME
ABOUT THANKS TO AN UNEXPECTED
CULPRIT.
>> HEALTH OFFICIALS ARE
INVESTIGATING WHAT APPEARS TO BE
ANOTHER CASE OF AN ANIMAL VIRUS
THAT HAS JUMPED TO HUMAN BEINGS.
IT'S CALLED MONKEYPOX AND IT
MAY BE LINKED TO PET PRAIRIE
DOGS IN THE MIDWEST.
>> THE MIDWESTERN PRAIRIE DOG IS
NOT A COMMON PET, BUT SOME PET
STORES HAVE BEEN SELLING THEM,
ALONG WITH OTHER EXOTIC ANIMALS
FROM AROUND THE WORLD.
AND THAT, SAY INVESTIGATORS, IS
WHY 30 PEOPLE TODAY ARE
SUSPECTED OF HAVING A DISEASE
THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE
IN THIS COUNTRY.
>> John: OKAY, I HAVE ONE MAIN
QUESTION, AND IT'S THIS: WHY THE
FUCK ANYONE WOULD WANT TO OWN A
PRAIRIE DOG?
AND YOU KNOW ME -- I HAVE AN
ABOUNDING LOVE FOR THE RODENT
COMMUNITY.
GUINEA PIGS?
EXCELLENT.
HAMSTERS?
PERFECT.
CAPYBARA?
BIG, PENSIVE SWEETIE.
BUT IT'S GONNA BE A HARD PASS
FROM ME ON THIS LITTLE
PLAGUE-RIDDEN FREDDY KRUGER.
LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING HANDS!
ALSO, QUICK SHOUT OUT TO THE
ABSOLUTE DIPSHIT THAT CAME UP
WITH THAT NAME.
POUR ONE OUT FOR THE STUPIDEST
FRIEND OF LAURA INGALLS WILDER,
WHO SAW AN ANIMAL THAT IS,
GENEROUSLY, A BIG HAMSTER THAT
FUCKED A MEERKAT WITH GARDEN
RAKES FOR HANDS, AND WENT "DOG,"
AND IT SOMEHOW STUCK.
NOW, THANKFULLY, WE MANAGED TO
CONTAIN THAT PARTICULAR
OUTBREAK, AND PUT A STOP TO THE
SALE OF PRAIRIE DOGS BEFORE
PERSON-TO-PERSON CONTACT COULD
BEGIN.
BUT NOW, THINGS ARE CLEARLY
DIFFERENT.
AND LOOK, THERE'S STILL A LOT WE
DON'T KNOW, AND INFORMATION WE
HAVE IS STILL VERY MUCH SUBJECT
TO CHANGE.
BUT AS IT STANDS, AS OF THIS
TAPING, THE VAST MAJORITY OF
CASES HAVE BEEN AMONG GAY AND
BISEXUAL MEN AND THEIR SEXUAL
NETWORKS.
THE VIRUS SPREADS THROUGH
SUSTAINED SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT.
AND IT'S CURRENTLY BELIEVED TO
BE SPREADING MOST COMMONLY
DURING SEX.
THOUGH IN RARER CASES, IT CAN
SPREAD THROUGH RESPIRATORY
DROPLETS DURING PROLONGED
FACE-TO-FACE CONTACT, OR THROUGH
BEDDING OR TOWELS USED BY
SOMEONE WITH MONKEYPOX.
AND THE THING IS, NOT LONG AGO,
THERE WAS AN EXPECTATION THAT
THIS OUTBREAK MIGHT BE
CONTAINABLE.
AT THE END OF MAY, WHEN THERE
WERE ROUGHLY 130 CONFIRMED CASES
OUTSIDE OF AFRICA, ONE W.H.O.
OFFICIAL SAID THIS:
>> THIS OUTBREAK CAN STILL BE
CONTAINED, AND IT IS THE
OBJECTIVE OF THE WORLD HEALTH
ORGANIZATION AND MEMBER STATES
TO CONTAIN THIS OUTBREAK AND TO
STOP IT.
>> John: YEAH, THAT SOUNDED
PRETTY REASSURING, DIDN'T IT?
AND I, FOR ONE, WANT TO BELIEVE
THE WORDS OF THE HEAD OF THE
"SMALLPOX SECRETARIAT," WHICH IS
A VERY IMPRESSIVE-SOUNDING JOB,
WHILE ALSO SOUNDING LIKE THE
MOST DEPRESSING MOVIE SEQUEL OF
ALL TIME.
[LAUGHTER]
AND TO BE FAIR, THAT OPTIMISM
WASN'T UNWARRANTED.
THERE WERE MANY REASONS TO THINK
THAT WE COULD, AND INDEED
SHOULD, QUICKLY GET THIS UNDER
CONTROL.
FIRST, BECAUSE MONKEYPOX HAS
BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE, WE'RE
AT LEAST SOMEWHAT FAMILIAR WITH
IT.
ALSO, BECAUSE IT'S SIMILAR TO
SMALLPOX, THERE'S GOOD REASON TO
BELIEVE THE TOOLS WE ALREADY
HAVE TO FIGHT THAT, WORK ON
MONKEYPOX, TOO.
SO THIS WASN'T LIKE THE EARLY
DAYS OF COVID, WHEN WE DIDN'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING.
REMEMBER MARCH 2020?
WE WERE LYSOLING OUR GROCERIES
LIKE THEY CAME OUT OF THE SEWER,
GERALDO WAS ON TV CLAIMING YOU
COULD TEST FOR COVID BY HOLDING
YOUR BREATH, AND WE DID A SHOW
ON THE CORONAVIRUS ON MARCH 1st,
2020, IN WHICH THE MAIN ADVICE
THAT WE GAVE OUR FULL, UNMASKED,
STUDIO AUDIENCE WAS TO WASH
THEIR HANDS.
I EVEN DID A LITTLE DANCE ABOUT
IT.
AND WHILE I WAS CLEARLY WRONG
ABOUT COVID, I WAS RIGHT ABOUT
THOSE MOVES.
I LOOK LIKE JULIA STILES IN
"SAVE THE LAST DANCE."
VERY WHITE AND UNNECESSARILY
HYPED UP BY THE CROWD.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT WITH MONKEYPOX WE WERE IN
THE FORTUNATE POSITION OF HAVING
PRE-EXISTING TESTS, VACCINES,
AND TREATMENTS.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE ROLLOUT OF
EACH OF THEM HAS BEEN PAINFULLY
FLAWED.
AND LET'S START WITH TESTS.
TESTING FOR MONKEYPOX WAS
INITIALLY SILOED WITHIN THE CDC
AND ITS NETWORK OF PUBLIC-HEALTH
LABS, OF WHICH THERE ARE AROUND
70.
PEOPLE ALSO HAD TO MEET CERTAIN
ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA TO QUALIFY
FOR TESTING, MAKING THE WHOLE
PROCESS SLOW AND CUMBERSOME.
AND "SLOW AND CUMBERSOME" ARE
THE LAST WORDS YOU WANT TO HEAR
IN THE EARLY DAYS OF A DISEASE
OUTBREAK, APART FROM, OF COURSE,
THE OPENING LINES OF "IMAGINE"
SUNG A CAPPELLA.
[LAUGHTER]
AS OF EARLY JUNE, WE WERE ONLY
CONDUCTING TEN TESTS PER DAY, IN
TOTAL, ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
INCREASING TO JUST 60 BY THE END
OF THE MONTH.
THANKFULLY, TESTING HAS RAMPED
UP SINCE THEN, WITH THE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION FINALLY ALLOWING
COMMERCIAL LABS TO TEST AS WELL,
BUT BARRIERS STILL VERY MUCH
REMAIN.
FOR ONE THING, THERE IS ONLY ONE
FDA APPROVED TEST, REQUIRING YOU
TO SWAB LESIONS.
WHICH, ASIDE FROM BEING PAINFUL,
MEANS YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL
THEY APPEAR TO EVEN RUN A TEST,
AND THEY MAY NOT BE THE FIRST
SYMPTOM.
SO UNTIL WE GET NEW TESTS, LIKE
THE SALIVA ONES ALREADY BEING
USED IN EUROPE, OUR CASE NUMBERS
ARE ALWAYS GOING TO LAG.
BUT WHAT'S MORE, WE,
RIDICULOUSLY, DON'T HAVE A
SYSTEM FOR GATHERING AND SHARING
DATA.
MONKEYPOX WAS SPREADING FOR MORE
THAN TWO MONTHS BEFORE STATES
WERE EVEN REQUIRED TO SHARE DATA
WITH THE CDC, MAKING TRACKING
CASES ACROSS THE COUNTRY
INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT.
AND THE TRUTH IS, EVEN
COMMUNICATION WITHIN STATES CAN
BE ABSURDLY ANTIQUATED.
>> YOU KNOW, I TALKED TO
OFFICIALS IN MISSOURI AND
FLORIDA WHO ARE COUNTING
MONKEYPOX CASES VIA FAX.
I THINK WE ALL, IN THE UNITED
STATES, KIND OF EXPECT PUBLIC
HEALTH TO WORK LIKE AMAZON
PRIME.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA GET OUR
PACKAGES IN TWO DAYS AND
EVERYTHING WILL BE FIXED.
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU KNOW,
PUBLIC HEALTH IN THIS COUNTRY
HAS BEEN UNDERFUNDED FOR
DECADES.
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, THE ONLY
WAY WE THINK PUBLIC HEALTH IS
LIKE AMAZON PRIME IS THAT THEY
BOTH FORCE PEOPLE TO PEE IN
PLASTIC CONTAINERS.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT SECOND, FAX MACHINES?
THE ONLY THING FAX MACHINES
SHOULD BE USED FOR NOWADAYS IS
FOR ENDING THE SENTENCE, "HEY,
REMEMBER FAX MACHINES?"
[LAUGHTER]
AND THAT IS IT.
SO, WE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE THE
CASES WERE OR HOW MANY THERE
WERE, AND WHATEVER NUMBERS WE
DID HAVE WERE LIKELY DRASTIC
UNDERCOUNTS, BECAUSE WE WEREN'T
TESTING ENOUGH.
WHICH IS ALREADY VERY BAD.
THEN, THERE'S THE VACCINES.
WHERE, AGAIN, WE SHOULD'VE BEEN
IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT'S ACTUALLY
BEEN DEVELOPING AND STOCKPILING
NEW SMALLPOX VACCINES SINCE
9/11, WHEN THERE WERE FEARS THAT
IT WOULD BE USED AS A BIOWEAPON.
JUST WATCH THIS SEGMENT FROM
2002, WHICH FEATURES A FAMILIAR
FACE.
>> THE U.S. GOVERNMENT BEGAN
STOCKPILING SMALLPOX VACCINE
LAST YEAR AND HAS PLACED ORDERS
FOR TENS OF MILLIONS MORE DOSES.
>> WE HAVE ENOUGH MATERIAL THAT
IF WE NEEDED TO, GOD FORBID, A
CATASTROPHE OF A MASSIVE ATTACK,
WE WOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A
VACCINE FOR EVERYONE IN THE
COUNTRY.
>> John: YEAH, THERE HE IS!
ANTHONY FAUCI, THE FORREST GUMP
OF CATASTROPHIC CONTAGION.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THE POINT IS, THE GOVERNMENT
VERY SMARTLY BUILT UP MASSIVE
RESERVES OF SMALLPOX VACCINE.
IT IS JUST ONE OF THE ONE WAYS
THAT THE WAR ON TERROR MADE US
SAFER.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THOSE HUGE
STOCKPILES WEREN'T AVAILABLE AT
THE START OF THIS MONKEYPOX
OUTBREAK, THANKS TO A NUMBER OF
KEY STRATEGIC ERRORS.
FOR A START, INCREDIBLY, WE LET
20 MILLION DOSES EXPIRE.
WE JUST... DID THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
WHICH SEEMS ESPECIALLY
UNCONSCIONABLE GIVEN, AS I
MENTIONED EARLIER, MULTIPLE
AFRICAN COUNTRIES HAVE HAD
OUTBREAKS OF MONKEYPOX FOR
DECADES NOW, AND MIGHT'VE
APPRECIATED A SHOT OR TWO.
SHARING VACCINES WOULD'VE SERVED
TWO PURPOSES: BASIC HUMAN
DECENCY, BUT ALSO, ABJECT
SELFISHNESS, IN THAT STOPPING
OUTBREAKS OVER THERE MIGHT WELL
HAVE PREVENTED THE CURRENT
OUTBREAK OVER HERE.
AND YET, FOR SOME REASON, WE LET
THE VACCINE SIT UNUSED ON A
SHELF IN OUR RESERVES LIKE
AN EXPIRED CHOBANI, OR A
$90 MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE ON HBO
MAX.
[LAUGHTER]
BY THE WAY -- HI THERE, NEW
BUSINESS DADDY.
SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE DOING A REALLY
GREAT JOB!
[LAUGHTER]
I DO GET THE VAGUE SENSE YOU'RE
BURNING DOWN MY NETWORK FOR THE
INSURANCE MONEY, BUT I'M SURE
THAT'LL ALL PASS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
SO, AT ONE TIME, WE HAD MORE
THAN 20 MILLION VACCINES
AVAILABLE.
BUT WHEN THIS OUTBREAK BEGAN, WE
WERE DOWN TO JUST 2,400 USABLE
DOSES, WHICH IS ENOUGH TO FULLY
VACCINATE JUST 1,200 PEOPLE.
NOW, WE DID HAVE 300,000 DOSES
SITTING IN A WAREHOUSE IN
DENMARK, BUT FOR SOME REASON,
OFFICIALS WAITED WEEKS AS THE
VIRUS SPREAD, BEFORE FINALLY
DECIDING TO SHIP THEM TO THE
U.S.
AND THAT SEQUENCE OF BAD
DECISIONS IS WHY WE'VE BEEN
SEEING SCENES LIKE THESE.
>> HUNDREDS LINED UP FOR THE
MONKEYPOX VACCINE LAST WEEK AT
THIS CLINIC IN MANHATTAN, BUT
SUPPLIES QUICKLY RAN OUT.
>> I CAME HERE FOR LIKE A FEW
DAYS ALREADY BECAUSE I DON'T
HAVE APPOINTMENT.
I WENT TO THE WEBSITE AND THE --
THE WEBSITE CRASHED.
>> BEEN TRYING TO GET A VACCINE
FOR THE LAST ALMOST TWO AND A
HALF, THREE WEEKS.
TRIED AT MULTIPLE VACCINE
CENTERS AND EVERYONE'S OUT OF
VACCINES.
SO HERE I AM.
>> John: YEAH, VACCINES ARE
APPARENTLY THE BEYONCE CONCERT
TICKETS OF HEALTHCARE.
ANNOUNCED WITH LITTLE WARNING,
GONE IN 30 MINUTES, AND WILL
LIKELY HAVE YOU SCREAMING
"YOU WON'T BREAK MY SOUL" AT THE
TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.
[LAUGHTER]
SO, TESTS?
HAMPERED BY RED TAPE.
VACCINES?
EXPIRED BY THE MILLIONS.
AND FINALLY, THERE'S TREATMENTS.
REMEMBER, MONKEYPOX CAN BE
INCREDIBLY PAINFUL.
AND THERE IS A DRUG THAT SHOWS
PROMISE IN REDUCING THOSE
SYMPTOMS.
BUT IT, TOO, IS WAY HARDER TO
GET THAN IT SHOULD BE.
>> AN EXPERIMENTAL DRUG THAT
COULD HELP SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE
MONKEYPOX IS AVAILABLE, BUT THE
QUESTION IS, CAN THEY GET IT?
>> THE MEDICATION IS CALLED
TECOVIRIMAT, BRAND NAME TPOXX.
THERE'S NO SHORTAGE OF TPOXX,
BUT IT'S ONLY FDA APPROVED FOR
SMALLPOX.
FOR MONKEYPOX, IT'S STILL
CONSIDERED AN INVESTIGATIONAL
DRUG.
THE CDC HAS LIFTED SOME
REQUIREMENTS SO DOCTORS CAN
PRESCRIBE IT UNDER SOMETHING
CALLED EXPANDED ACCESS, BUT THAT
INVOLVES HOURS OF FORMS AND
EXTRA APPOINTMENTS.
>> John: YEAH, AND EVEN IF YOU
FOUND A DOCTOR WILLING TO DO ALL
OF THAT, SOME PATIENTS ARE THEN
FINDING THEMSELVES WAITING DAYS
FOR SHIPMENTS OF THE DRUG TO
ARRIVE FROM THE STRATEGIC
NATIONAL STOCKPILE.
WHICH JUST ISN'T GREAT,
CONSIDERING, REMEMBER, THIS CAN
FEEL LIKE SITTING ON SHARDS OF
GLASS.
IT IS NOT A CONDITION YOU CAN
JUST PUT OFF DEALING WITH FOR A
FEW DAYS, LIKE A COLD, OR A UTI
IF YOU'RE SUPER TIRED.
[LAUGHTER]
BASICALLY, EVERY PART OF OUR
EARLY RESPONSE TO THIS MADE
THINGS HARDER THAN THEY NEEDED
TO BE.
AND I WILL SAY, THERE HAVE BEEN
SOME IMPROVEMENTS RECENTLY.
WE'VE SEEN SOME PROGRESS ON
TESTING.
MORE VACCINES ARE FINALLY
COMING, WITH LARGE NUMBERS SET
TO START ARRIVING IN OCTOBER.
AND THE PAPERWORK FOR TPOXX HAS
BEEN STREAMLINED SOMEWHAT.
SO IF YOU THINK YOU NEED ANY OF
THOSE, YOU SHOULD STILL,
ABSOLUTELY, BE SEEKING THEM OUT.
BUT THE DELAYS WE'VE SEEN IN
FIXING THESE PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN
ABSOLUTELY MADDENING.
AND IT HAS BEEN HARD NOT TO
WONDER WHETHER THE LACK OF
URGENCY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH
WHO'S BEEN GETTING HIT THE
HARDEST.
>> YOU KNOW, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
SPREADING.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT WARRANTS
CONCERN.
WHAT I DON'T WANT TO SEE FOR
OUR COMMUNITY IS THE 1980s, HIV
ALL OVER AGAIN.
WHERE IT WASN'T TALKED ABOUT, IT
WAS KNOWN THAT IT WAS OUT THERE
BUT THERE WAS NO PRESSURE TO DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE, "OH,
IT'S JUST THE GAYS.
IT'S FINE."
>> John: RIGHT.
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT IF
MONKEYPOX WERE SPREADING THROUGH
HETEROSEXUAL SEX, THINGS WOULD
BE DIFFERENT.
BY NOW, YOU'D PROBABLY BE ABLE
TO GET A FREE VAX WITH PURCHASE
- AT EVERY J. - CREW IN THE COUNTRY.
BECAUSE, LISTEN, IT IS NOT
HOMOPHOBIC TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHO'S
CURRENTLY MOST AFFECTED, WHICH
IS GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN, SEX
WORKERS, AND PEOPLE WHO
PARTICIPATE IN SEX WITH MULTIPLE
PARTNERS.
WHAT IS HOMOPHOBIC IS WHEN YOU
BLAME OR SHAME THE PEOPLE WHO
ARE SUFFERING, OR WHEN YOU
DECIDE YOU DON'T NEED TO CARE
ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE YOU DON'T
SEE THEIR LIVES AS VALUABLE OR
THEIR SUFFERING AS
CONSEQUENTIAL.
AND THAT IS WHERE THERE ARE
STRONG ECHOES OF THE AIDS CRISIS
IN SOME OF THE DISCUSSION AROUND
MONKEYPOX.
JUST LISTEN TO MARJORIE TAYLOR
GREENE, ELECTED OFFICIAL AND
ONE-STAR UBER PASSENGER, WHO
DISMISSED IT LIKE THIS:
>> OF COURSE, MONKEYPOX IS A
THREAT TO SOME PEOPLE IN OUR
POPULATION.
BUT WE KNOW WHAT CAUSES IT AND
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH -- IT'S
BASICALLY A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED
DISEASE.
SO IT'S NOT A THREAT TO MOST OF
THE POPULATION.
AND SO, IT'S NOT A GLOBAL
PANDEMIC, IT'S REALLY NOT.
AND PEOPLE JUST HAVE TO LAUGH AT
IT, MOCK IT, AND REJECT IT.
SO, I THINK IT'S -- IT'S ANOTHER
SCAM.
>> John: OKAY, OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S
RIDICULOUS.
IF THE WAY TO GET RID OF
SOMETHING AWFUL WAS FOR PEOPLE
TO LAUGH AT IT AND MOCK IT, THAT
WOMAN CLEARLY WOULDN'T BE IN
CONGRESS AND YET, HERE WE ALL
ARE.
[APPLAUSE]
GREENE ALSO TWEETED, "IF
MONKEYPOX IS A SEXUALLY
TRANSMITTED DISEASE, WHY ARE
KIDS GETTING IT?" IN AN ACT OF
OBVIOUS DOG WHISTLE BIGOTRY,
SUGGESTING GAY PEOPLE ARE A
DANGER TO CHILDREN.
WHEN WHAT'S CLEARLY AN ACTUAL
DANGER TO CHILDREN IS THE QANON
CONGRESSWOMAN WHO ONCE TWEETED
"THE KIDS AT UVALDE NEEDED
JR-15s"
AND I KNOW THERE'S A TEMPTATION,
WHEN YOU SEE HOMOPHOBIA LIKE
THAT, TO PUSH BACK AND SAY,
"HEY!
IT'S NOT JUST GAY PEOPLE, ANYONE
CAN GET MONKEYPOX," WHICH IS
TRUE.
BUT IT'S ALSO TRUE THAT, WHILE
ANYONE CAN GET IT, RIGHT NOW,
CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE GETTING IT
MORE.
AND CRUCIALLY, THEY ARE THE ONES
WHO SHOULD BE RECEIVING THE
LION'S SHARE OF THE RESOURCES
RIGHT NOW, AND SPECIFIC,
TARGETED PUBLIC-HEALTH GUIDANCE.
AND THE MESSAGING HERE CAN
ADMITTEDLY BE A BIT OF A
MINEFIELD.
THE QUEER COMMUNITY MAY BE
UNDERSTANDABLY RELUCTANT TO HEAR
SOME STRAIGHT PERSON LECTURING
THEM ABOUT THEIR SEX LIVES,
ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT ADVICE,
HISTORICALLY, HAS SO OFTEN COME
WITH AN AIR OF DISAPPROVAL ABOUT
IT.
AND SOME, IN THIS CURRENT
CRISIS, HAVE BEEN TONE DEAF.
ONE PUBLIC HEALTH OFFICIAL HERE
IN NEW YORK PUSHED FOR A MORE
ABSTINENCE-BASED APPROACH,
POSTING ON HIS WEBSITE, "IF WE
HAD AN OUTBREAK ASSOCIATED WITH
BOWLING, WOULD WE NOT WARN
PEOPLE TO STOP BOWLING?"
WHICH ISN'T A GREAT WAY TO PUT
IT.
IN FACT, AN OPENLY GAY HEALTH
OFFICIAL RESPONDED BY TWEETING
"A WHITE STRAIGHT CIS MAN
COMPARING SEX TO BOWLING TELLS
ME SO MUCH ABOUT STRAIGHT SEX."
[LAUGHTER]
WHICH, HONESTLY?
THAT'S A FAIR HIT.
THAT'S A FAIR HIT, RIGHT THERE.
THE OFFICIAL WHO WROTE THAT
TWEET IS ACTUALLY NOW THE DEPUTY
COORDINATOR OF THE FEDERAL
MONKEYPOX RESPONSE, AND HE'S
BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH A
REFRESHING FRANKNESS.
LIKE IN THIS OFFICIAL VIDEO,
WHERE HE WALKS THROUGH PRACTICAL
STEPS TO AVOID EXPOSURE, THEN
OFFERS THIS ADVICE TO PEOPLE WHO
THINK THEY, OR THEIR PARTNER,
MAY HAVE BEEN EXPOSED.
>> CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING WAYS
TO REDUCE THE CHANCE OF
SPREADING THE VIRUS.
HAVE VIRTUAL SEX WITH NO
IN-PERSON CONTACT.
MASTURBATE TOGETHER AT A
DISTANCE WITHOUT TOUCHING EACH
OTHER AND WITHOUT TOUCHING ANY
RASH OR SORES.
REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS
WITH SOAP AND WATER AND
DISINFECT FETISH GEAR, SEX TOYS,
AND ANY FABRICS SUCH AS BEDDING,
TOWELS, CLOTHING AFTER HAVING
SEX.
>> John: THAT'S GREAT!
THAT IS HONESTLY SOME OF THE
BEST COMMUNICATION OF PUBLIC
HEALTH GUIDANCE I'VE EVER SEEN.
IT'S HELPFUL, SPECIFIC, AND
NON-JUDGMENTAL.
AND HONESTLY, IT'S PRETTY GOOD
ADVICE FOR EVERYONE.
FAR MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE
EXPLORING VIRTUAL SEX WITH NO
IN-PERSON CONTACT, JUST MAKE
SURE YOU AREN'T DOING IT IN
THE MIDDLE OF A WORK MEETING,
JEFFREY.
ALTHOUGH, THAT REALLY SHOULD NOT
BE THAT HARD.
AND IT IS NOT JUST THE
GOVERNMENT.
COMMUNITY GROUPS HAVE BEEN
TRYING TO FRAME HEALTH ADVICE IN
A WAY THAT'S MUCH MORE
SEX-POSITIVE, MAKING IT MORE
LIKELY TO BE WELL-RECEIVED.
LIKE THIS FLYER FROM AN L.A.
LGBT CENTER WITH THE VERY
PRACTICAL TIP: "FORGET SLUTTY
SUMMER, HOLD OFF FOR ANAL
AUTUMN!
DO IT IN CIDER DONUT SEASON."
WHICH, AGAIN, IS EXCELLENT.
IT'S GOOD ADVICE FOR NOW, IT'S
GOOD ADVICE FOR THE FALL, AND
IT'S ALSO A PRETTY GOOD SLOGAN
FOR DUNKIN'.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WHILE GOOD MESSAGING IS
CERTAINLY WELCOME HERE, IT IS
DEPRESSING THAT WE HAVE TO RELY
SO HEAVILY ON IT IN THE FIRST
PLACE, GIVEN THE MANY SYSTEMIC
FAILURES THAT HAVE BROUGHT US TO
THIS POINT.
SO, WHAT CAN WE DO NOW?
WELL, IN THE SHORT TERM, THE
NEXT SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS ARE
GOING TO BE CRUCIAL.
SO WE NEED TO BE RAMPING UP
TESTING AND DATA COLLECTION, AND
GETTING VACCINES AND ANTIVIRALS
TO THOSE WHO NEED THEM MOST.
WE ALSO NEED TO MAKE
QUARANTINING MORE LOGISTICALLY
POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE, BECAUSE
MONKEYPOX CAN REQUIRE AS LONG AS
FOUR WEEKS OF ISOLATION.
AND FOR MANY, THAT'S GOING TO BE
DIFFICULT TO MANAGE WITHOUT
EXTRA SUPPORT.
BUT IN THE LONGER TERM, AS IF
COVID HAD NOT ALREADY MADE THIS
ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, WE BADLY NEED
TO RESTRUCTURE OUR PUBLIC HEALTH
SYSTEM SO IT'S BETTER ABLE TO
RESPOND TO A VIRAL OUTBREAK.
AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE SAYING
THAT.
JUST LISTEN TO NEW YORK CITY'S
HEALTH COMMISSIONER.
>> IT IS FRUSTRATING.
WE HAD A VACCINE, WE HAD A
TREATMENT, WE HAD A TEST.
AND ALL OF IT WAS KIND OF ROLLED
OUT MORE SLOWLY THAN WE WOULD
HAVE LIKED, BECAUSE OF THE FACT
THAT OUR PERMANENT PUBLIC HEALTH
INFRASTRUCTURE HAS NOT BEEN
INVESTED IN FOR DECADES.
>> John: YEAH, HE'S ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT, AND HE IS NOT ALONE.
AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHEN WE TALKED
TO PUBLIC HEALTH PROFESSIONALS
THIS WEEK, THERE HAS BEEN A
SENSE THAT THIS WAS A GIGANTIC
FUCK UP.
JAY VARMA, AN EPIDEMIOLOGIST WHO
PREVIOUSLY WORKED AT THE CDC,
TOLD US THIS WAS A REAL, PERFECT
STRESS TEST FOR US.
IN THIS SITUATION, WE WERE
UNIQUELY PREPARED.
WE KIND OF HAD THE QUESTIONS
AHEAD OF TIME.
WE'RE GOING TO THROW YOU A
VIRUS YOU ALREADY HAVE A TEST
FOR, ALREADY HAVE VACCINE FOR,
ALREADY HAVE A DRUG YOUR
GOVERNMENT PAID FOR AND
DEVELOPED AND DISCOVERED AND
STOCKPILED, LET'S SEE HOW YOU
RESPOND TO THAT.
AND WE SCREWED IT UP.
WHICH IS HUMILIATINGLY BAD.
BASICALLY, ON A SCALE FROM
1-100, WE SCORED A "NO."
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THE THING IS, EVEN IF WE DO
CONTAIN THIS OUTBREAK, AND EVEN
IF WE BUILD UP OUR PUBLIC HEALTH
INFRASTRUCTURE, THERE'S A BIGGER
CONVERSATION WORTH HAVING HERE.
BECAUSE FOR FAR TOO LONG, WE'VE
INDULGED IN THE MAGICAL THINKING
THAT VIRUSES THAT EXIST
SOMEWHERE ELSE, A, DON'T MATTER,
AND B, WILL STAY THERE.
AND MONKEYPOX IS SUCH A CLEAR
EXAMPLE OF HOW FLAWED AND RACIST
THAT THINKING IS.
WE HAD 20 MILLION DOSES OF A
VACCINE THAT COULD'VE HELPED
COUNTRIES IN AFRICA THAT WERE
KNOWN TO BE HIGH-RISK FOR
OUTBREAKS, AND WE DIDN'T HELP
THEM.
AND WE'RE STILL NOT HELPING
THEM.
THE SUDDEN GLOBAL DEMAND FOR
VACCINES MEANS THAT CURRENTLY,
ZERO DOSES ARE GOING TO NIGERIA
AND OTHER COUNTRIES IN AFRICA.
WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS AWFUL, BUT
TO BE FAIR, INDIFFERENCE TO
THOSE SUFFERING FROM POX-BASED
VIRUSES HAS BEEN THE STORY OF
AMERICA FROM DAY ONE.
AND I KNOW FIXING ALL OF THIS
MAY FEEL DAUNTING.
BUT WE'RE LIVING THROUGH THE
ALTERNATIVE RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S
NOT GREAT.
AND THINK OF IT THIS WAY, IF WE
CAN ACTUALLY GET OUR ACT
TOGETHER, MAYBE FINALLY THIS
COUNTRY, AND INDEED THE WHOLE
WORLD, CAN HAVE THE ANAL AUTUMN
THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN PROMISED.
[LAUGHTER]
AND NOW THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW, WALTER
FROM BUTLER, INDIANA, HAS SOME
THOUGHTS ON MORTALITY.
>> LET'S TALK TO WALTER WHO IS
CALLING FROM BUTLER, INDIANA.
WALTER, GOOD MORNING.
>> GOOD MORNING, THANKS FOR
TAKING MY CALL.
I'M CONFUSED AND I DON'T MEAN TO
BE SNARKY BUT SO WHAT?
THEY DIE.
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA DIE, YOU'RE
GONNA DIE.
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A DOCTOR
SINCE -- I'M 65, 41 YEARS.
I DON'T TAKE ANY VITAMINS, I
DON'T TRY TO EAT WELL, AND I DO
WHAT I WANT.
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA GO, YOU'RE
GONNA GO.
I'VE NEVER TAKEN A MEDICATION IN
MY LIFE, I'VE NEVER TAKEN
ANYTHING EXCEPT A VITAMIN.
AND I GOT ALL SORTS OF HITCHES
AND PROBLEMS AND THIS AND THAT.
I DON'T GO TO A DOCTOR, AND I
FEEL LIKE WHENEVER THE GOOD LORD
IS READY TO TAKE ME HOME, I'M
GOING TO BE TAKEN HOME.
IN THE END, WE ALL DIE ANYWAY SO
WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHICH WAY
YOU GO?
JUST SHUT UP AND DEAL WITH LIFE
THE BEST YOU CAN.
MY FRIENDS AND I WOULD GET OUT
OF THE HOUSE EARLY IN THE
MORNING, WE'D GET ON OUR
BICYCLES, AND WE'D PLAY
STICKBALL IN THE STREETS, AND IF
WE WANTED TO GO UP TO SEARS WE'D
ACTUALLY HANG ON THE BACK OF A
BUS AND DRIVE UP OVER --
>> DON'T DO THAT.
>> IT WAS JUST INSANE.
NOBODY GETS OUT ALIVE.
WHATEVER, THE MYSTERY OF LIFE.
WHAT'S MY END GAME?
TO BE IN A NURSING HOME?
NOT KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, WITH
DROOL COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH,
AND EVERYONE AROUND ME IS DEAD?
NOT ON MY WATCH.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> YOU DON'T WIN STAYING AROUND
LONGER.
EVERYBODY PASSES AWAY AND YOU
HAVE NOBODY TO CARE FOR YOU
ANYWAY.
I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST THROW
OUT ALL YOUR MEDICATIONS, GET UP
EVERY DAY, THANK THE LORD FOR
THE DAY YOU HAVE.
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA GO, GO.
NOTHING IS PROMISED TO YOU.
WHEN YOU WANT TO DIE, JUST DROP
DEAD.
[APPLAUSE]
>> JOHN: THAT'S OUR SHOW.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
THANKS FOR WATCHING, GOOD NIGHT!
♪ ♪