1 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:13,213 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:21,087 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:25,792 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:32,665 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:33,333 >> John: WELCOME, WELCOME, 6 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:33,967 WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!" 7 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:34,367 I'M JOHN OLIVER. 8 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,535 THANKS SO MUCH FOR JOINING US. 9 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,570 IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK, AND A 10 00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,873 HUGE ONE FOR THE PRESIDENT, WITH 11 00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:41,074 CONGRESS PASSING THE INFLATION 12 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,275 REDUCTION ACT, WHICH INCLUDES 13 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,110 THE SINGLE-LARGEST INVESTMENT IN 14 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,678 COMBATING CLIMATE CHANGE IN U.S. 15 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:49,315 HISTORY. 16 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,517 IN ANY OTHER WEEK, THAT WOULD 17 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:51,117 HAVE COMPLETELY DOMINATED THE 18 00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:51,918 HEADLINES. 19 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,187 BUT NOT THIS ONE! 20 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,588 BECAUSE AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW, ON 21 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:56,990 MONDAY, THE F.B.I. SEARCHED 22 00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:58,691 MAR-A-LAGO AND SEIZED DOCUMENTS, 23 00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:00,627 SOMETHING THAT TRUMP REACTED TO 24 00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:03,329 WITH CHARACTERISTIC RESTRAINT. 25 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,965 >> MR. TRUMP SAID MAR-A-LAGO WAS 26 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:07,534 "UNDER SIEGE, RAIDED, AND 27 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,269 OCCUPIED BY A LARGE NUMBER OF 28 00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:10,603 F.B.I. AGENTS." 29 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,038 ADDING, "THEY EVEN BROKE INTO MY 30 00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:14,474 SAFE!" 31 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,109 >> John: NO, NOT YOUR SAFE! 32 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,577 YES, AMAZINGLY, THE F.B.I. EVEN 33 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,978 CHECKS YOUR LOCKED SAFES WHEN 34 00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,381 THEY GO THROUGH YOUR HOME WITH A 35 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,682 SEARCH WARRANT. 36 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,117 THE ONLY WAY AROUND THAT IS IF 37 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,953 YOUR SAFE SAYS "NO F.B.I. 38 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,321 ALLOWED!" ON IT. 39 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:28,955 THEN, LEGALLY, THEY CAN'T LOOK 40 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:29,222 IN THERE. 41 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:29,856 THE SEARCH APPARENTLY STEMS FROM 42 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:30,423 CLASSIFIED AND SENSITIVE 43 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,558 DOCUMENTS TRUMP TOOK FROM THE 44 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,327 WHITE HOUSE AS HE LEFT OFFICE, 45 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,229 WITH SOME REPORTEDLY CONTAINING 46 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,063 INFORMATION RELATED TO NUCLEAR 47 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,798 WEAPONS. 48 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,533 AND I'M NOT GOING TO SPECULATE 49 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,134 OR JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS HERE -- 50 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:41,935 BECAUSE THERE'S STILL SO MUCH WE 51 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:43,603 DON'T KNOW. 52 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,272 BUT MANY SEEMED HAPPY TO DO THAT 53 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:46,773 THIS WEEK, WITH MULTIPLE 54 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,174 REPUBLICANS LIKENING THE F.B.I. 55 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,677 TO THE GESTAPO, FOX NEWS 56 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:51,845 TRAWLING THROUGH THE FACEBOOK 57 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:52,712 FEED OF THE JUDGE WHO APPROVED 58 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,080 THE WARRANT AND SHOWING A MEME 59 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:56,349 OF HIS FACE ON JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S 60 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:57,884 BODY, AND STILL OTHERS 61 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,651 PREEMPTIVELY MINIMIZING WHAT 62 00:01:58,718 --> 00:01:59,886 TRUMP MAY HAVE DONE. 63 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,556 >> THERE ARE A NUMBER OF THINGS 64 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,960 THAT ARE CLASSIFIED THAT FALL 65 00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:07,894 UNDER THE UMBRELLA OF NUCLEAR 66 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:08,595 WEAPONS, BUT THAT ARE NOT 67 00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:09,729 NECESSARILY THINGS THAT ARE 68 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,600 TRULY CLASSIFIED. 69 00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:14,567 MANY OF THEM YOU CAN FIND ON 70 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,468 YOUR OWN PHONE. 71 00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,871 >> John: I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY 72 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:18,571 WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT GUY 73 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:19,172 BUT THE WAY HE'S CLEARING HIS 74 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:20,373 THROAT LETS ME KNOW THAT HIS 75 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,174 BODY IS REACTING TO THE NONSENSE 76 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,077 HE'S SPEWING THERE. 77 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:24,711 BECAUSE WHILE IT'S TRUE THAT WE 78 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:25,845 DO, ABSOLUTELY, OVERCLASSIFY 79 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:28,381 DOCUMENTS. 80 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:28,948 AND IT'S ALSO TRUE THAT THE 81 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:29,682 INTERNET HOLDS A VAST ARRAY OF 82 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:30,350 KNOWLEDGE IT PROBABLY 83 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,851 SHOULDN'T -- LIKE INFO ON 84 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:32,919 NUCLEAR WEAPONS AND AN ENTIRE 85 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,655 WEBSITE DEVOTED TO CELEBRITY'S 86 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:39,692 FEET, I'M WAITING, BY THE WAY. 87 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:40,793 I WOULDN'T BE SO QUICK TO ASSUME 88 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,662 THE MOST CAUTIOUS A.G. THE U.S. 89 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,198 HAS HAD FOR A WHILE TOOK THE 90 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:46,432 UNPRECEDENTED STEP OF SENDING 91 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,800 THE F.B.I. TO AN EX-PRESIDENT'S 92 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,202 HOUSE IF HE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS 93 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,337 ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. 94 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,639 THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT 95 00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:54,073 MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS AS THINGS 96 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:54,974 DEVELOP, BUT FOR NOW, WE'RE 97 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,609 GOING TO DIVE STRAIGHT IN WITH 98 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:57,944 OUR MAIN STORY THIS WEEK, WHICH 99 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,479 CONCERNS AFGHANISTAN. 100 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,647 A COUNTRY THAT'S BLESSED THE 101 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:01,581 WORLD WITH INNUMERABLE 102 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,550 TREASURES, FROM EMBROIDERY TO 103 00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:04,817 TRADITIONAL PASHTO AND PERSIAN 104 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:07,287 POETRY TO THE AFGHAN HOUND. 105 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,721 UNDOUBTEDLY, THE REAL HOUSEWIFE 106 00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:11,324 OF SHOW DOGS. 107 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:12,292 SHE'S A MESSY BITCH AND SHE 108 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,061 LIVES FOR DRAMA. 109 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,930 THIS WEEK MARKED THE ONE-YEAR 110 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,264 ANNIVERSARY OF OUR WITHDRAWAL 111 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,499 FROM AFGHANISTAN, WHICH YOU MAY 112 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,669 REMEMBER WAS COMPLETE MAYHEM. 113 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:23,870 >> THEY WERE SCENES MARKED BY 114 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:24,871 CHAOS AND DESPERATION. 115 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,773 HUNDREDS OF AFGHAN CITIZENS 116 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,608 RUNNING ALONGSIDE A DEPARTING 117 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,077 U.S. C-17. 118 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,612 NOW, NEARLY A YEAR AFTER THE 119 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,880 U.S. WITHDRAWAL, THE INDELIBLE 120 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:34,948 IMAGES REMAIN. 121 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:36,182 A U.S. MARINE LIFTING A BABY 122 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,651 OVER A BARBED WIRE TOPPED WALL 123 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,352 AT KABUL'S AIRPORT. 124 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,653 AND THIS PHOTO TAKEN 125 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,454 BY TECHNICAL SERGEANT 126 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,256 JUSTIN TRIOLA. 127 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:44,257 >> OKAY, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU 128 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:47,060 THINK ARE ON YOUR JET? 129 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:51,898 800 PEOPLE ON YOUR JET? 130 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,600 HOLY COW. 131 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:54,400 >> John: YUP! 132 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,869 I THINK EVERYONE KNEW THE U.S. 133 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:57,737 OCCUPATION WAS GOING TO END 134 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:58,638 BADLY, BUT IT'S STILL SHOCKING 135 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,574 JUST HOW BAD IT WAS. 136 00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:02,609 IN TERMS OF THINGS NOT GOING THE 137 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,277 WAY YOU THOUGHT, OUR EXIT WAS 138 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,012 THE FOREIGN POLICY EQUIVALENT OF 139 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:06,646 PUTTING A CAKE IN THE OVEN AND 140 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:07,547 THEN, FORTY MINUTES LATER, 141 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:08,948 TAKING OUT A LIVE RAT DRESSED AS 142 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,483 HITLER. 143 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,819 IT'S NOT JUST A FUCK-UP, IT'S A 144 00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:13,786 MIND-BLOWING FUCK-UP THAT'LL 145 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:16,789 TAKE YEARS TO FULLY COMPREHEND. 146 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:17,657 EVERYTHING HAPPENED SO FAST, 147 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,258 APPARENTLY, EVEN THE TALIBAN WAS 148 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:20,493 SURPRISED AT HOW QUICKLY THE 149 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,829 AFGHAN GOVERNMENT FELL. 150 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:23,696 AND A PRETTY DECENT WAY OF 151 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,565 KNOWING IF THE U.S. 152 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,432 DID A GOOD JOB AT SOMETHING IS 153 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,667 BY ASKING THE QUESTION, "WAS 154 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,302 WHATEVER WE DID A FUN SURPRISE 155 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,938 FOR THE TALIBAN?" 156 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,406 WITHIN ELEVEN DAYS OF OUR 157 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,775 DEPARTURE, THE TALIBAN WERE IN 158 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:36,676 CONTROL, AND MANY TOP U.S. 159 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:37,477 MILITARY OFFICIALS HAVE 160 00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:38,578 STRUGGLED SINCE THEN TO PUT INTO 161 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,979 WORDS JUST HOW BADLY THEY 162 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,714 MISCALCULATED, WITH GENERAL 163 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,082 MARK MILLEY PUTTING IT LIKE 164 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,617 THIS. 165 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,519 >> ALL THE INTEL ASSESSMENTS, 166 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,687 ALL OF US, GOT THAT WRONG. 167 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,355 THERE IS NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. 168 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:50,723 THAT WAS A SWING AND A MISS ON 169 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,791 THE INTEL ASSESSMENT OF 11 DAYS 170 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,159 IN AUGUST. 171 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,494 THERE'S NOBODY THAT CALLED THAT. 172 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,429 >> John: YEAH, THAT'S ABOUT 173 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,897 RIGHT. 174 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,599 "SWING AND A MISS" DESCRIBES 175 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:00,299 ROUGHLY 40% OF THE U.S. 176 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:00,967 GOVERNMENT'S HISTORY. 177 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:01,968 THE BREAKDOWN OF "STUFF WE'VE 178 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:02,735 DONE" GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS: 179 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,203 40% "SWING AND A MISS," 180 00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:07,106 20% "BEEFED IT," 15% "WHOOPS," 181 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,676 15% "WHOOPS, PARENTHESES, 182 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,277 MURDERS," AND 10% "DELIVERED 183 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,980 MOST, BUT NOT ALL, OF THE MAIL." 184 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,515 AND LOOK: THERE'S A LOT TO 185 00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,016 CRITICIZE ABOUT THE WAY WE LEFT 186 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,819 AFGHANISTAN -- INCLUDING THE 187 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:20,553 FACT THAT, WHILE WE MANAGED TO 188 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,688 GET ROUGHLY 80,000 AFGHANS -- 189 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:22,822 MANY OF WHOM HAD WORKED WITH THE 190 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:23,956 U.S. -- TO AMERICA SINCE THE 191 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:26,426 WITHDRAWAL, THE NUMBER WHO 192 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,527 REMAIN IN DANGER BECAUSE OF 193 00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:28,661 THEIR ASSOCIATION WITH THE U.S. 194 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:29,529 MISSION CAN BE COUNTED IN THE 195 00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:31,931 HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS. 196 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,866 SO, CRITICISM OF WHAT HAPPENED 197 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,501 IS COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED, THOUGH 198 00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:36,936 MAYBE NOT FROM THE GUY WHOSE 199 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,371 ADMINISTRATION SIGNED THE DEAL 200 00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:41,074 TO LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE. 201 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,275 >> BAGRAM IS THIS GREAT AIR BASE 202 00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:43,776 THAT WAS BUILT MANY YEARS AGO 203 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:44,944 AND IT COST BILLIONS AND 204 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,412 BILLIONS. 205 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,348 AND WE LEFT IN ONE NIGHT, 206 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,049 EVERYBODY WAS GONE, THEY LEFT 207 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:50,383 THE LIGHTS ON. 208 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:51,017 THINK OF IT, THE LIGHTS WERE ALL 209 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:51,584 LEFT ON, THE DOGS WERE LEFT 210 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:52,151 BEHIND, BY THE WAY, FOR THOSE 211 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,553 PEOPLE THAT LIKE DOGS. 212 00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:54,754 BUT WE LEFT -- AND THEY DON'T 213 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,255 LIKE DOGS, YOU KNOW THAT, THEY 214 00:05:56,322 --> 00:06:00,059 DON'T LIKE DOGS. 215 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,128 THEY DON'T LIKE 'EM AT ALL. 216 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,263 >> John: WOW. 217 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,098 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE'VE 218 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:06,499 HEARD TRUMP'S VOICE ON THIS 219 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:07,934 SHOW, AND I SOMEHOW FORGOT JUST 220 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,170 HOW BIZARRELY INCOHERENT HE IS. 221 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,438 IT'S TRULY EXTRAORDINARY TO SEE 222 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,940 HIS BRAIN FUNCTION LIKE A CROW 223 00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,908 SPOTTING A CRUMPLED-UP CAN. 224 00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,777 HE'S FLYING, FLYING, FLYING, 225 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:18,911 THEN -- WHOA NELLY, HOLD ON, IS 226 00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:19,979 THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? 227 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,013 SHINY GARBAGE? 228 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,249 NOSEDIVE! 229 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,984 ALSO -- COMMENTS ABOUT PEOPLE 230 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,252 NOT LIKING DOGS ARE A LITTLE 231 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,086 ODD, COMING FROM A MAN WHO, 232 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,488 EVERY TIME HE HOLDS ONE, SEEMS 233 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:31,257 TO MAKE THE DOG WANT TO DIE. 234 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,426 BUT WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO 235 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,827 TALK ABOUT THE WITHDRAWAL FROM 236 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,029 AFGHANISTAN TONIGHT. 237 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:37,797 INSTEAD, WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON 238 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:38,364 EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED 239 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,732 SINCE. 240 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,734 BECAUSE WHILE AFGHANISTAN HAS 241 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:42,735 FADED AS A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION 242 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:43,302 IN THIS COUNTRY, IT REALLY 243 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:44,370 SHOULDN'T, BECAUSE IT'S IN DIRE 244 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,572 CRISIS RIGHT NOW. 245 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:47,540 AND I WILL ADMIT, THIS IS A GRIM 246 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,941 TOPIC. 247 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,511 BUT IT'S ALSO AN IMPORTANT ONE. 248 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,179 BECAUSE THINGS ARE GOING WORSE 249 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,080 IN AFGHANISTAN THAN YOU MAY 250 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,448 KNOW, FOR REASONS THAT HAVE EVEN 251 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:59,118 MORE TO DO WITH OUR DECISIONS 252 00:06:59,185 --> 00:06:59,819 THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. 253 00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:00,419 SO, TONIGHT, LET'S CHECK IN ON 254 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:00,820 AFGHANISTAN. 255 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:01,754 AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT 256 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:02,722 THAT, AS I MENTIONED, THE 257 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,324 TALIBAN IS NOW IN CHARGE. 258 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,093 AND IN THE EARLY DAYS OF THEIR 259 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,895 TAKEOVER, THEY TRIED TO CONVEY A 260 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:10,396 SLIGHTLY SOFTER IMAGE TO 261 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:11,330 JOURNALISTS, THROUGH CAREFREE 262 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:12,365 PHOTO OPS LIKE THIS ONE, WHERE 263 00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:13,800 TALIBAN MEMBERS VISITED A 264 00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:16,836 FAIRGROUND IN KABUL, OR THIS 265 00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,037 ONE, WHERE THEY TOOK A TRIP TO 266 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,105 THE ZOO, AND REALLY SPELLED OUT 267 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,540 THE MESSAGE THEY WANTED THE 268 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,609 WORLD TO HEAR. 269 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:24,710 >> WE WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE THAT 270 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,646 UNDER ISLAMIC RULE AND SECURITY, 271 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:27,980 EVERYTHING IS ENJOYABLE AND 272 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,182 EVERYONE CAN LIVE IN THEIR OWN 273 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,751 COUNTRY THE WAY THEY WANT. 274 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:32,985 >> John: YEAH, SURE. 275 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:35,988 THAT'S WHAT YOU ASSOCIATE THE 276 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:36,589 TALIBAN WITH. 277 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:37,156 FREEDOM FOR EVERYONE TO LIVE 278 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,192 THEIR BEST LIFE. 279 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,960 ALSO, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I 280 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,361 DON'T THINK LOSING THE RIGHT TO 281 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:43,496 DRIVE BUMPER CARS OR GO TO THE 282 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,064 ZOO WAS AT THE TOP OF ANYONE'S 283 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,098 LIST OF CONCERNS WHEN THE 284 00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:48,301 TALIBAN TOOK OVER. 285 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,035 IT'S AKIN TO THE POPE SAYING, 286 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:49,635 "DON'T WORRY, EVERYONE -- 287 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:52,305 CATHOLICS ARE STILL ALLOWED TO 288 00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:53,639 USE POGO STICKS!" 289 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:54,240 OKAY, GREAT, BUT TO BE HONEST, 290 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,942 THAT'S NOT THE MAIN ISSUE PEOPLE 291 00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:58,678 HAVE WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. 292 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,880 AND WHILE THE TALIBAN IS NOT 293 00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:01,881 ACTUALLY A MONOLITH -- DIFFERENT 294 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,617 REGIONAL LEADERS RULE WITH 295 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,719 DIFFERENT DEGREES OF SEVERITY -- 296 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:07,854 I STILL FEEL COMFORTABLE SAYING 297 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:08,688 EVERYTHING IS VERY MUCH NOT 298 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,524 ENJOYABLE FOR EVERYONE IN 299 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:14,360 AFGHANISTAN RIGHT NOW. 300 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,196 FOR STARTERS, THERE'VE BEEN 301 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,197 BRUTAL REPRISALS AGAINST U.S. 302 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:18,698 ALLIES AND FORMER AFGHAN 303 00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:19,165 GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES. 304 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:19,765 NEARLY 500 OF WHOM WERE KILLED 305 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:20,366 OR FORCIBLY DISAPPEARED DURING 306 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,500 THE TALIBAN'S FIRST SIX MONTHS 307 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:22,668 IN POWER, AND ON A MUCH BIGGER 308 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,137 LEVEL, THE TALIBAN'S TAKEN AN 309 00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:28,975 ABSOLUTE SLEDGEHAMMER TO WOMEN'S 310 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:29,342 RIGHTS. 311 00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:30,109 FOR ALL THE MANY LEGITIMATE 312 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:30,977 CRITICISMS OF AMERICA'S 313 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:33,846 OCCUPATION, WOMEN DID MAKE HUGE 314 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,081 GAINS THERE: IN 2001, THERE WERE 315 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:37,183 FEW, IF ANY, GIRLS IN SCHOOL, 316 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,684 AND BY 2020, GIRLS MADE UP 317 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,519 ROUGHLY 40% OF ALL STUDENTS. 318 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,455 THAT SAME YEAR, AFGHANISTAN'S 319 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,790 PARLIAMENT HAD A HIGHER 320 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:45,825 PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN THAN THE 321 00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:49,295 U.S. CONGRESS DID. 322 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,029 BUT NOW THEY'RE ESSENTIALLY BACK 323 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:50,496 TO ZERO. 324 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,098 BUT MUCH MORE THAN THAT, TALIBAN 325 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,867 DECREES HAVE TRIED TO CONTROL 326 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:55,801 NEARLY EVERY ASPECT OF WOMEN'S 327 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,936 LIVES, ORDERING THAT THEY 328 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,371 SHOULDN'T LEAVE THEIR HOMES 329 00:08:58,437 --> 00:08:59,171 UNLESS NECESSARY, AND THAT ONLY 330 00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:00,072 WOMEN WHO CAN'T BE REPLACED BY 331 00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,340 MEN WILL BE ALLOWED TO KEEP 332 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,209 WORKING. 333 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,343 IN FACT, ONE OF THE ONLY AREAS 334 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,646 WOMEN CAN WORK IS IN HEALTHCARE, 335 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,080 BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME 336 00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:09,548 SITUATIONS WHERE MEN AREN'T 337 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,349 ALLOWED TO TREAT WOMEN AS 338 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,183 PATIENTS. 339 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,252 THIS MIDWIFE, FOR EXAMPLE, IS 340 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,687 STILL WORKING IN A HOSPITAL. 341 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:15,521 BUT SHE'S FURIOUS ABOUT WHAT SHE 342 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:19,392 SEES HAPPENING TO HER COUNTRY. 343 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:20,693 >> THE TALIBAN CANNOT BAN ME 344 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,561 FROM WORKING IN THE HOSPITAL 345 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,297 BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT IT IS 346 00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:29,802 NEEDED. 347 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,203 I HUMBLY REQUEST THE TALIBAN DO 348 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,005 NOT MEDDLE IN WOMEN'S RIGHTS TO 349 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,808 EDUCATION AND EMPLOYMENT. 350 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:36,943 OTHERWISE THEY ARE AMPUTATING 351 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,077 ONE ARM FROM THE BODY OF 352 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,513 SOCIETY. 353 00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:41,314 OUR SOCIETY IS MADE OF TWO 354 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,950 PILLARS, A PILLAR OF MEN AND 355 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,052 ANOTHER PILLAR OF WOMEN. 356 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,186 HOW CAN YOU RUN YOUR LIFE 357 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,555 ONE-SIDED? 358 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,723 >> John: YEAH, OF COURSE, YOU 359 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:51,490 CAN'T RUN A SOCIETY ON A PILLAR 360 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:53,559 OF JUST MEN. 361 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:54,527 I MEAN WE'VE TRIED, FOR 362 00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:56,696 THOUSANDS OF YEARS. 363 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,531 BUT LOOK WHAT IT'S GOT US: 364 00:09:58,597 --> 00:09:59,632 WE HAVE A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, THE 365 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:00,833 PLANET IS ON FIRE, THE 366 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,234 BABY-SITTER'S CLUB IS CANCELED 367 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:03,636 DESPITE UNPARALLELED CRITICAL 368 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,837 SUCCESS, AND THE WORLD'S RICHEST 369 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:05,972 MAN IS A VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY 370 00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:09,241 FROM HELL. 371 00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:10,176 LET'S MAYBE LEAN ON THAT ONE 372 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:13,245 PILLAR A LITTLE LESS. 373 00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:15,448 AND THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE. 374 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,483 BECAUSE IN MARCH, THE TALIBAN 375 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,484 WENT BACK ON A PROMISE THEY MADE 376 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:18,951 WHEN THEY TOOK OVER AND 377 00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:19,552 ANNOUNCED THAT GIRLS WOULD BE 378 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:20,319 PREVENTED FROM RECEIVING A 379 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,454 SECONDARY SCHOOL EDUCATION IN 380 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,756 MOST OF THE COUNTRY. 381 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,024 NOW, THAT DECISION DREW 382 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,459 WIDESPREAD CONDEMNATION IN 383 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:27,293 AFGHANISTAN -- INCLUDING FROM 384 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,962 MANY TALIBAN MEMBERS. 385 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:30,963 BUT THE LEADERSHIP PUSHED BACK, 386 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:31,897 CLAIMING THAT IT'S JUST 387 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,032 TEMPORARY, AND ARGUING, AMONG 388 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,133 OTHER THINGS, THAT THEY SIMPLY 389 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,835 NEEDED MORE TIME TO DECIDE ON A 390 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,036 SCHOOL UNIFORM FOR TEENAGE 391 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,938 GIRLS. 392 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,706 WHICH IS CLEARLY TOTAL BULLSHIT. 393 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,109 BESIDES, FOR AN ORGANIZATION SO 394 00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:43,776 CONCERNED WITH VIRTUE AND 395 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:44,977 PURITY, "TAKING MONTHS TO 396 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,879 BRAINSTORM A SCHOOLGIRL UNIFORM 397 00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,247 YOU LIKE" IS OBJECTIVELY THE 398 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,382 SINGLE PERVIEST THING YOU CAN 399 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:52,885 DO. 400 00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,053 SO, WOMEN IN PARTICULAR, HAVE 401 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:54,653 LOST A GREAT DEAL IN THE LAST 402 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,321 YEAR. 403 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,655 BUT ON TOP OF THAT, THE WHOLE 404 00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,157 COUNTRY IS FACING A CASCADING 405 00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,693 SERIES OF HUMANITARIAN CRISES. 406 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,061 THE U.N. HAS ESTIMATED THAT AS 407 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:05,398 MUCH AS 97% OF THE POPULATION IS 408 00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:06,632 AT RISK OF SINKING BELOW THE 409 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,001 POVERTY LINE. 410 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,002 AND PART OF THAT IS DUE TO A 411 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,303 SERIES OF NATURAL DISASTERS, 412 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:12,805 FROM AN ONGOING SEVERE DROUGHT 413 00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,007 THAT HAS HIT AROUND 80% OF THE 414 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,776 COUNTRY, DEVASTATING FOOD 415 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,377 PRODUCTION, TO A MASSIVE 416 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,913 EARTHQUAKE IN JUNE, AND FLOODING 417 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:21,313 JUST THIS MONTH. 418 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:21,914 BUT THAT'S BEEN EXACERBATED BY 419 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:22,615 THE FACT THAT THIS IS ALL 420 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,716 FALLING ON A BRAND-NEW TALIBAN 421 00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,285 GOVERNMENT THAT'S IN NO WAY 422 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,554 EQUIPPED TO TAKE IT ON. 423 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,423 >> THE TALIBAN NOW NEED TO SHIFT 424 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,925 FROM BEING A JIHADIST INSURGENCY 425 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,927 TO A RULING GROUP. 426 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,730 FOR 20 YEARS, YOU'VE BUILT AN 427 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,565 ORGANIZATION THAT WAS DESIGNED 428 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,332 TO FIGHT, AND YOU MOTIVATED 429 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:44,036 PEOPLE TO ENGAGE IN SUICIDE 430 00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:44,503 BOMBINGS. 431 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:45,271 THEY DON'T TURN INTO PEOPLE WHO 432 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:46,472 ARE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS 433 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,173 OVERNIGHT. 434 00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,809 >> John: YEAH, OF COURSE NOT. 435 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,677 A MILITANT INSURGENCY GROUP IS 436 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,545 PRETTY LOW ON THE LIST OF PEOPLE 437 00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:53,045 THAT YOU WANT LEADING A 438 00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:54,313 GOVERNMENT, 439 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,214 RIGHT AROUND THE HELL'S ANGELS, 440 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,615 THE MANSON FAMILY, AND RON 441 00:11:56,682 --> 00:12:00,286 DeSANTIS. 442 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,221 AND TO BE ONE-MILLION PERCENT 443 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,689 CLEAR -- I AM NOT SUGGESTING 444 00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:06,192 THAT THE U.S. OCCUPATION WAS A 445 00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,226 PERFECT, MAGIC WONDERLAND. 446 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,228 IT WAS AWFUL IN ITS OWN WAYS -- 447 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,596 NOT LEAST, HAVING TO LIVE UNDER 448 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,797 THE SPECTER OF "HELLFIRE BEING 449 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:13,265 RAINED DOWN FROM FLYING UNMANNED 450 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:16,235 DEATH MACHINES EVERY DAY." 451 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:17,770 OUR CONTINUED PRESENCE THERE WAS 452 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:18,838 UNTENABLE. 453 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,507 BUT THE EXACT CIRCUMSTANCES OF 454 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,375 OUR DEPARTURE HAVE, TO A 455 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:24,043 SIGNIFICANT DEGREE, MADE THINGS 456 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,244 SUBSTANTIALLY WORSE. 457 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:26,645 BECAUSE WE'VE MADE A SERIES OF 458 00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:29,615 DECISIONS -- SOME OF THEM 459 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,150 UNDERSTANDABLE -- THAT HAVE HAD 460 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:31,917 HUGE RAMIFICATIONS FOR THE 461 00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:32,318 AFGHAN PEOPLE. 462 00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:33,319 AND LET'S START WITH THE TALIBAN 463 00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:34,720 GOVERNMENT ITSELF. 464 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:37,089 WHEN IT TOOK OVER, MANY OF ITS 465 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,424 MEMBERS WERE ALREADY SANCTIONED 466 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,091 BY THE U.S., BECAUSE WE LIST THE 467 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,092 TALIBAN AS A SPECIALLY 468 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,827 DESIGNATED TERRORIST GROUP. 469 00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:42,728 SO, SUDDENLY, THOSE PRE-EXISTING 470 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,430 SANCTIONS APPLIED TO AT LEAST 471 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,499 PART OF THE TALIBAN GOVERNMENT. 472 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,634 TAKE SIRAHDUDDIN HAQQANI. 473 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,102 THE STATE DEPARTMENT CURRENTLY 474 00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:51,770 HAS A TEN MILLION DOLLAR REWARD 475 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,239 OUT FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO 476 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:54,573 HIS ARREST. 477 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,941 BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW -- HE'S THE 478 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,109 CURRENT ACTING INTERIOR MINISTER 479 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,344 THERE. 480 00:12:58,410 --> 00:12:58,911 SO, GUESS WHAT, STATE 481 00:12:58,978 --> 00:12:59,945 DEPARTMENT? 482 00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:02,515 I FOUND HIM! 483 00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,917 CAN YOU MAIL ME MY $10 MILLION, 484 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,919 PLEASE? 485 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,220 DON'T WORRY, I SPEND MY MONEY 486 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,088 VERY WISELY. 487 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:11,924 SO, INDIVIDUALS IN THE TALIBAN 488 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:12,525 GOVERNMENT ARE SANCTIONED -- 489 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:13,192 WHICH EFFECTIVELY MEANS THE 490 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:13,859 WHOLE GOVERNMENT IS. 491 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:14,960 MAKING IT NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR 492 00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:15,794 BANKS, BUSINESSES, AND CHARITIES 493 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,763 TO OPERATE THERE. 494 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,231 WHICH IS A MASSIVE PROBLEM. 495 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,834 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE 75% OF THE 496 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,369 FORMER AFGHAN GOVERNMENT'S 497 00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:24,737 BUDGET CAME FROM FOREIGN AID AND 498 00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:25,905 GRANTS. 499 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,741 75%! 500 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:29,542 THAT WAS THE MONEY THAT, AMONG 501 00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:30,876 OTHER THINGS, PAID THE SALARIES 502 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,711 FOR VITAL GOVERNMENT SERVICES -- 503 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:35,514 LIKE TEACHERS AND PUBLIC SECTOR 504 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,282 EMPLOYEES. 505 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,383 AND ALL THAT AID DISAPPEARED 506 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:38,584 ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. 507 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,286 AS ONE EXPERT HAS SAID, "NO 508 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:41,654 COUNTRY IN THE WORLD COULD 509 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,022 WITHSTAND A SHARP CUTOFF OF THAT 510 00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,356 AID." 511 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:45,724 AND IT'S AFFECTED EVERYTHING. 512 00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:47,159 IN HEALTHCARE, FOR INSTANCE, THE 513 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:47,927 WORLD BANK AND OTHER 514 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:48,994 ORGANIZATIONS IMMEDIATELY FROZE 515 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:52,431 $600 MILLION IN AID. 516 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,199 WHICH LEFT DOCTORS IN A VERY 517 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,734 DIFFICULT POSITION. 518 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,036 >> THIS STATE HOSPITAL IN THE 519 00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,637 HEART OF KABUL HAS NOT RECEIVED 520 00:13:58,704 --> 00:13:59,371 FUNDING SINCE THE TALIBAN 521 00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:02,274 TAKEOVER. 522 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,042 >> WE DON'T HAVE ANY MEDICINE 523 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:05,344 HERE. 524 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,946 WE HAD ANTIBIOTICS, PAINKILLERS, 525 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:07,913 AND VITAMINS HERE, BUT IT'S 526 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,748 EMPTY NOW. 527 00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:10,382 >> WHAT'S YOUR BUDGET NOW IN 528 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,284 TOTAL FOR THE DEPARTMENT? 529 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,221 >> FOR THE TOTAL DEPARTMENT, WE 530 00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,523 DIDN'T HAVE, JUST ONLY FOR OUR 531 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,792 SALARY WE HAVE BUDGET, BUT FOR 532 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:21,460 OTHER ITEM, WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY 533 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:22,928 BUDGET. 534 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:23,629 >> SO, YOU MEAN YOUR BUDGET IS 535 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,463 ZERO? 536 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,198 >> THE BUDGET IS ZERO, YEAH. 537 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:27,299 >> John: YEAH. 538 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,434 ZERO. 539 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,069 IT IS HARD TO IMAGINE HOW A 540 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,737 HOSPITAL CAN EVEN FUNCTION WITH 541 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,505 A BUDGET OF ZERO, UNLESS EVERY 542 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:35,474 EXAM ROOM IS JUST A PAPER BAG 543 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,042 AND A SIGN THAT SAYS, "YELL WHAT 544 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,544 HURTS INTO THIS BAG, THEN 545 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,613 LEAVE." 546 00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:41,647 AND IT GETS EVEN WORSE. 547 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:42,615 BECAUSE THE U.S. ALSO FROZE 548 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:43,749 AFGHANISTAN'S CENTRAL BANK 549 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,818 ASSETS HELD IN AMERICA, 550 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:48,287 AMOUNTING TO AROUND $7 BILLION. 551 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,355 NOW, THAT IS MONEY TYPICALLY 552 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:50,789 USED TO DO THINGS LIKE KEEP THE 553 00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:51,790 CURRENCY STABLE, FINANCE 554 00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:52,958 IMPORTS, AND PROVIDE MONEY TO 555 00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,827 THE BANKING SYSTEM. 556 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,195 THE U.S. FROZE THESE ASSETS, TO 557 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:56,729 PREVENT THE TALIBAN FROM 558 00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:59,198 ACCESSING THEM, BUT THAT ALSO 559 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,599 KNEECAPPED THE COUNTRY'S ENTIRE 560 00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,868 BANKING SYSTEM, ESPECIALLY AS 561 00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:03,535 AFGHANISTAN DOESN'T HAVE THE 562 00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:04,570 ABILITY TO PRINT ITS OWN 563 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,872 CURRENCY. 564 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:08,240 ALL OF THIS LED TO A LITERAL 565 00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,608 CASH SHORTAGE, WHERE EVEN 566 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,843 AFGHANS WHO DO HAVE MONEY IN THE 567 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:14,179 BANK CAN'T ACCESS IT. 568 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:14,813 SO, THERE'VE BEEN MASSIVE LINES 569 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:15,848 AND WAITS JUST TO GET MONEY 570 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,016 OUT. 571 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,251 AT SOME BANKS, WITHDRAWING CASH 572 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,754 HAS REPORTEDLY TAKEN THREE DAYS 573 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,354 OR MORE. 574 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,389 AND THAT'S BROUGHT THE COUNTRY 575 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,724 TO AN UNUSUAL STATE OF AFFAIRS. 576 00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:26,392 >> THIS IS A UNIQUE HUMANITARIAN 577 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,192 CRISIS. 578 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,827 THIS IS A SITUATION WHERE FOOD 579 00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:30,229 IS TECHNICALLY AVAILABLE, BUT 580 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,231 THERE ISN'T ENOUGH LIQUIDITY IN 581 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,900 THE ECONOMY AND ENOUGH 582 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,468 AVAILABILITY OF PAPER CURRENCY 583 00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:37,469 TO PURCHASE FOOD. 584 00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,838 FOOD WHICH IS AVAILABLE. 585 00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:40,539 >> John: RIGHT, AND THAT IS 586 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,273 AWFUL. 587 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,441 FOOD, BUT NO MONEY TO BUY IT 588 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,942 WITH. 589 00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:44,977 IT'S LIKE A LYRIC FROM 590 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,078 ALANIS MORISSETTE'S "IRONIC" 591 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,012 IN THAT IT'S FUNDAMENTALLY 592 00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:48,847 NOT IRONIC, AND I'M SURE 593 00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:51,183 DAVE COULIER IS STILL SOMEHOW 594 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,618 TO BLAME. 595 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:53,619 THINGS ARE VERY GRIM IN 596 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,654 AFGHANISTAN. 597 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,589 ITS POPULATION IS YOUNG -- 598 00:15:57,656 --> 00:15:59,692 NEARLY HALF ARE UNDER THE AGE 599 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:00,726 OF 15 -- AND UNICEF HAS WARNED 600 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,194 THAT OVER A MILLION SEVERELY 601 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,295 MALNOURISHED CHILDREN WILL BE AT 602 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,797 RISK OF DEATH WITHOUT EMERGENCY 603 00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:06,799 TREATMENT THIS YEAR. 604 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:07,900 AND BECAUSE MANY AFGHANS HAVE 605 00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:09,635 NOWHERE TO TURN FOR FOOD OR FOR 606 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:10,636 MONEY, FAMILIES HAVE BEEN FORCED 607 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:14,006 TO MAKE SOME HARROWING CHOICES. 608 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,941 >> 40-YEAR-OLD GHULAM HAZRAT 609 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,042 SOLD HIS KIDNEY FOR AROUND 610 00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:36,895 $2,300. 611 00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:37,763 >> John: IT'S TRUE. 612 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,630 HE SOLD HIS KIDNEY, TO FEED HIS 613 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:39,264 KIDS, A DESPERATE DECISION THAT 614 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,333 YOU CAN MAKE PRECISELY ONCE. 615 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,302 THAT'S ACTUALLY AN INCREASINGLY 616 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:44,903 COMMON DECISION IN AFGHANISTAN. 617 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:48,607 AND IT'S NOT JUST THAT -- 618 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,274 FAMILIES ARE ALSO SELLING SOME 619 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:49,875 OF THEIR CHILDREN, SO THEY CAN 620 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,543 FEED THE OTHERS. 621 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:54,413 WHICH IS UNIMAGINABLY 622 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:54,947 HEARTBREAKING. 623 00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:55,481 SO CLEARLY, THE PEOPLE OF 624 00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:56,115 AFGHANISTAN ARE IN DIRE NEED OF 625 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,817 HELP. 626 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,152 AND THE CURRENT PRESIDENT HAS, 627 00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:00,919 AT TIMES, BEEN ALARMINGLY BLITHE 628 00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:03,822 ABOUT THE SITUATION THERE. 629 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:08,327 >> DO I FEEL BADLY WHAT'S 630 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:08,994 HAPPENING TO -- AS A CONSEQUENCE 631 00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:09,528 OF THE INCOMPETENCE OF THE 632 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:13,399 TALIBAN? 633 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:13,866 YES, I DO. 634 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:14,566 BUT I FEEL BADLY ALSO ABOUT THE 635 00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:15,200 FISTULAS THAT ARE TAKING PLACE 636 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,336 IN EASTERN CONGO. 637 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,670 I FEEL BADLY ABOUT A WHOLE RANGE 638 00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:19,338 OF THINGS AROUND THE WORLD THAT 639 00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:24,610 WE CAN'T SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM. 640 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:25,778 >> John: OKAY, FIRST, I HATE TO 641 00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:26,812 BE A MARIAN THE LIBRARIAN, 642 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,313 BUT YOU DON'T FEEL BADLY, YOU 643 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,182 FEEL BAD. 644 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,583 FEEL IS A LINKING VERB, AND 645 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,452 YOU'RE MODIFYING IT INCORRECTLY. 646 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,388 MARIAN OUT. 647 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,590 BUT SECOND, IT IS PRETTY 648 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:39,625 DISHEARTENING TO SEE OUR 649 00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:40,926 OFFICIAL FOREIGN POLICY BOIL 650 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,394 DOWN TO "SORRY CHAMP, CAN'T 651 00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,930 WIN 'EM ALL!" 652 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:45,731 ESPECIALLY WHEN THE U.S. IS SO 653 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,133 DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR SO MANY 654 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,101 PROBLEMS IN AFGHANISTAN. 655 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,769 AND IN EAST CONGO, BY THE WAY, 656 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,672 BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY. 657 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,475 NOW, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION 658 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:57,476 WILL POINT OUT THAT IT'S BEGUN 659 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:58,210 ISSUING SANCTIONS EXEMPTIONS TO 660 00:17:58,277 --> 00:17:59,244 ALLOW THE FREE FLOW OF SOME 661 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,647 HUMANITARIAN AID. 662 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:04,349 AND IT'S SENT HUNDREDS OF 663 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:04,950 MILLIONS IN RELIEF TO 664 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:05,551 AFGHANISTAN -- MORE THAN ANY 665 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,084 OTHER COUNTRY. 666 00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:06,685 WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE. 667 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,220 IT'S ALSO TRUE THAT THEY'VE DONE 668 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,622 THAT IN THE FACE OF STIFF 669 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,925 OPPOSITION FROM SOME ON THE 670 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,827 RIGHT, WHO ARGUE IN PRETTY 671 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:15,494 STRONG TERMS AGAINST ANY KIND OF 672 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,061 ASSISTANCE, AND FOR ONE 673 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:16,829 PARTICULAR REASON. 674 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:17,296 >> OBVIOUSLY, THERE'S 675 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:17,930 HUMANITARIAN SUFFERING ALL OVER 676 00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:18,764 THIS PLANET, RIGHT? I -- I 677 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,265 DON'T -- I'M NOT IN FAVOR OF 678 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:21,733 GIVING MONEY THAT I'M PRETTY 679 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,202 CONFIDENT WILL END UP IN THE 680 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,069 HANDS OF THE TALIBAN. 681 00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,437 >> WE SHOULD NOT GIVE THEM ONE 682 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,473 RED CENT UNTIL SUCH TIME AS WE 683 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,141 CAN DEMONSTRATE THAT THEY HAVE 684 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:29,908 ACTUALLY DONE WHAT THEY SAID 685 00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:30,876 THEY WOULD DO, WHICH IS TO 686 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,411 SEG -- SEPARATE THEMSELVES FROM 687 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,313 TERROR. 688 00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,181 >> John: LOOK, MIKE POMPEO AND 689 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,650 DEEPFAKE BLAKE SHELTON ARE 690 00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:39,418 CLEARLY ASSHOLES. 691 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:40,786 ALTHOUGH, I WILL SAY, FOR EVEN 692 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,087 NON-ASSHOLES, IT'S NATURAL TO BE 693 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,056 CONCERNED ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF 694 00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:45,691 U.S. AID MONEY GOING TO THE 695 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,659 TALIBAN. 696 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:48,727 BUT A COUPLE OF THINGS YOU 697 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:54,333 SHOULD KNOW: FOR YEARS NOW, 698 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:54,967 CHARITIES HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FIND 699 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:55,567 WAYS TO WORK WITH, THROUGH, OR 700 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,168 AROUND THE TALIBAN, TO HELP 701 00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:56,702 ORDINARY AFGHAN CITIZENS. 702 00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:57,369 THEY HAD TO DO THAT, BECAUSE 703 00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,437 EVEN WHEN THE U.S. WAS THERE, 704 00:18:58,504 --> 00:18:59,171 THE TALIBAN EFFECTIVELY STILL 705 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,639 CONTROLLED LARGE PARTS OF THE 706 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,609 COUNTRY. 707 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,744 AND FOR PEOPLE AT SOME OF THOSE 708 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,311 GROUPS, LIKE THE AFGHANISTAN 709 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:06,912 DIRECTOR AT THE INTERNATIONAL 710 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,013 RESCUE COMMITTEE, THE FACT 711 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,114 THEY'RE FINANCIALLY CONSTRAINED 712 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,550 FROM HELPING PEOPLE NOW IS 713 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:12,618 PRETTY FRUSTRATING. 714 00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:14,753 >> I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL 715 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,223 SAY, "WELL, I DON'T -- WE DON'T 716 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,325 WANT TO SEE AID GO TO 717 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:21,026 AFGHANISTAN BECAUSE WE DON'T 718 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:21,660 WANT TO GIVE MONEY TO THE 719 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,361 TALIBAN. 720 00:19:22,427 --> 00:19:23,428 THAT'S AN EXTREMIST GROUP. 721 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,329 >> SO, YOU WANT TO MAKE 722 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:26,532 38 MILLION PEOPLE SUFFER BECAUSE 723 00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,534 OF A FEW THOUSAND? 724 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,935 THAT MATH DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. 725 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,603 >> John: RIGHT. 726 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,705 THAT MATH DOESN'T WORK FOR ME 727 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:36,675 EITHER. 728 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:37,509 AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING, 729 00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:38,143 BECAUSE LOOK AT ME: I LOOK LIKE 730 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,511 MATH IN HUMAN FORM. 731 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:40,612 I LOOK LIKE A POKEMON WHOSE 732 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:41,580 FINAL EVOLUTION IS A GRAPHING 733 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,048 CALCULATOR. 734 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,416 I LOOK LIKE AN ALGEBRA TEXTBOOK 735 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,317 LEFT ME ON THE DOORSTEP OF AN 736 00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,719 ORPHANAGE AS A BABY. 737 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:48,453 I LOOK LIKE WHAT MATT DAMON'S 738 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,555 CHARACTER IN "GOOD WILL HUNTING" 739 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,292 SHOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE. 740 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,327 SO, WHEN I SAY THAT MATH DOESN'T 741 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:58,564 WORK, YOU BETTER BELIEVE ME. 742 00:19:58,630 --> 00:19:59,197 SO, THERE'S A STRONG CASE TO BE 743 00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,332 MADE FOR FINDING WAYS TO GET 744 00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,034 HUMANITARIAN AID TO AFGHANISTAN. 745 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,368 BUT THAT'S NOT ALL IT NEEDS. 746 00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:04,703 IN THE LONG TERM, NO AMOUNT OF 747 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:05,904 EMERGENCY RELIEF CAN STAND IN 748 00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:06,471 FOR HEALTHCARE, AN EDUCATION 749 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,440 SYSTEM, OR A FUNCTIONING 750 00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,309 ECONOMY. 751 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,077 AS ONE REPORT SAID: HUMANITARIAN 752 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,812 EFFORTS ARE BANDAGES, NOT CURES. 753 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,080 YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP APPLYING 754 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,815 THEM FOREVER. 755 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,050 AND RIGHT NOW, THERE ARE 756 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:20,385 WORRYING SIGNS OF "DONOR 757 00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,421 FATIGUE," WITH CONTRIBUTIONS 758 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,622 FROM THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY 759 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:24,456 DRYING UP, EVEN AS NEARLY TWENTY 760 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:25,424 MILLION PEOPLE, ALMOST HALF 761 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,859 AFGHANISTAN'S POPULATION, ARE 762 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:29,861 EXPERIENCING HIGH AND CRITICAL 763 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,096 LEVELS OF FOOD INSECURITY. 764 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,364 SO, A MORE SUSTAINABLE WAY TO 765 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,465 HELP THEM IS THROUGH DEVELOPMENT 766 00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,834 AID -- BUILDING LONG-TERM 767 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,103 SOLUTIONS, LIKE INVESTING IN 768 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,137 HEALTH CARE AND EDUCATION 769 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,405 SALARIES, OR HELPING BUILD 770 00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:41,206 INFRASTRUCTURE THROUGH 771 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,474 INVESTMENTS IN IRRIGATION AND 772 00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,675 WATER MANAGEMENT IN AREAS 773 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,578 AFFECTED BY THE DROUGHT. 774 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:47,913 BUT THE TRICKY THING WITH THAT 775 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,549 IS, THAT REALLY DOES REQUIRE 776 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:51,683 SOME FORM OF ENGAGEMENT WITH THE 777 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,619 TALIBAN. 778 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,454 NOW, THERE ARE MECHANISMS TO TRY 779 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,288 AND ENSURE THEY DON'T END UP 780 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:56,855 BENEFITTING FINANCIALLY, BUT 781 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:57,422 ADMITTEDLY, NONE OF THEM ARE 782 00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:58,690 PERFECT. 783 00:20:58,757 --> 00:20:59,891 AND THE IDEA OF THE TALIBAN 784 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:01,426 GETTING "ONE RED CENT" IS 785 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:02,427 OBVIOUSLY HARD TO SWALLOW. 786 00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:04,363 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE, DESPITE THE 787 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,964 TALIBAN'S NEW OUTWARD-FACING 788 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:09,935 "LIVE LAUGH LOVE" VIBE -- 789 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:10,902 THEY'VE CONTINUED TO REMIND US 790 00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:12,804 HOW TERRIBLE THEY ARE, NOT ONLY 791 00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:14,106 WITH THEIR HEINOUS TREATMENT OF 792 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,241 WOMEN, BUT ALSO WITH LAST WEEK'S 793 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,677 CONFIRMATION THAT THEY WERE 794 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:19,511 HARBORING THE LEADER OF AL QAEDA 795 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,747 IN A SAFE HOUSE. 796 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,949 BUT WITHHOLDING ALL FORMS OF AID 797 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:24,783 UNTIL THE TALIBAN EITHER GIVE 798 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:25,617 IN, OR COLLAPSE, JUST ISN'T A 799 00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:26,752 VIABLE STRATEGY. 800 00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,053 BECAUSE FOR ONE THING, WHO KNOWS 801 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,988 HOW LONG THAT WILL TAKE, IF 802 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:30,756 EVER? 803 00:21:30,822 --> 00:21:31,690 AND FOR ANOTHER, WHILE YOU'RE 804 00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:32,691 WAITING, POTENTIALLY MILLIONS 805 00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:34,960 WILL STARVE. 806 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,729 JUST LISTEN TO THAT MIDWIFE FROM 807 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,331 EARLIER -- NO FAN OF THE 808 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:39,898 TALIBAN -- EXPLAIN WHAT SHE 809 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:43,101 THINKS OF THAT LOGIC. 810 00:21:45,737 --> 00:21:46,571 >> YOUR SANCTIONS ON THE TALIBAN 811 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:47,205 WILL KILL US FASTER THAN THE 812 00:21:47,272 --> 00:21:47,839 VIOLATION OF OUR RIGHTS BY THE 813 00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,675 TALIBAN. 814 00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,143 A GIRL DIES FROM HUNGER AND A 815 00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:53,712 MOTHER EITHER SELLS HER DAUGHTER 816 00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:58,817 BECAUSE OF HUNGER OR FROM 817 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,152 PRESSURE TO MARRY HER BY FORCE. 818 00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:01,553 THE ISSUE OF THEIR EDUCATION AND 819 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,655 LITERACY IS MEANINGLESS WHEN 820 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:05,624 YOU'RE DYING FROM HUNGER. 821 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:07,426 >> John: YEAH, SHE'S RIGHT. 822 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,194 THERE'S NO TWO WAYS AROUND IT: 823 00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:10,462 THIS IS A CRISIS AT THE MOST 824 00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:12,531 FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL. 825 00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:14,866 AND THANKFULLY, THERE'VE BEEN 826 00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:15,500 SOME SMALL STEPS IN THE RIGHT 827 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:15,967 DIRECTION RECENTLY. 828 00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:17,235 THE U.S. IS WORKING ON A 829 00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,570 PROPOSAL TO RELEASE SOME OF THE 830 00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:20,505 BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF FROZEN 831 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:21,707 MONEY INTO A TRUST FUND THAT THE 832 00:22:21,773 --> 00:22:23,775 TALIBAN THEMSELVES CAN'T ACCESS, 833 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,544 WHICH COULD HELP INJECT SOME 834 00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:27,379 CASH AND STABILITY INTO THE 835 00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:27,979 COUNTRY'S FINANCIAL SYSTEM, IF 836 00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:30,248 IT HAPPENS. 837 00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:31,683 ALSO, THE U.N. AND THE WORLD 838 00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:33,652 BANK BOTH HAVE INITIATIVES IN 839 00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:34,953 THE WORKS TO TRY TO BRIDGE THE 840 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:35,554 GAP BETWEEN EMERGENCY 841 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:36,288 HUMANITARIAN ASSISTANCE AND 842 00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:37,556 LONGER-TERM DEVELOPMENT AID, AS 843 00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,057 LONG AS THEY'RE ABLE TO GET 844 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:41,560 ADEQUATE FUNDING. 845 00:22:41,626 --> 00:22:42,928 AND FOR THE FINAL TIME: I DO GET 846 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:44,730 THE BROAD WORRIES ABOUT HOW 847 00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:46,932 SENDING MONEY TO AFGHANISTAN 848 00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:47,833 MIGHT INADVERTENTLY HELP THE 849 00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:48,533 TALIBAN. 850 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,569 BUT I'D ARGUE, THE KEY QUESTION 851 00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:51,837 HERE ISN'T JUST, "WHAT HAPPENS 852 00:22:51,903 --> 00:22:53,605 IF WE SEND AFGHANISTAN MONEY AND 853 00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:55,140 AID?" 854 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,041 IT'S "WHAT HAPPENS IF WE 855 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,542 DON'T?" 856 00:22:57,609 --> 00:22:59,177 AND WE KNOW THE ANSWER: MILLIONS 857 00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,346 OF INNOCENT AFGHANS WILL SUFFER 858 00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:02,514 AND DIE, UNDER A GOVERNMENT THEY 859 00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:05,383 DID NOT CHOOSE. 860 00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:08,120 THE REALITY IS, THERE IS NO ONE 861 00:23:08,186 --> 00:23:09,254 SIMPLE SOLUTION HERE THAT IS 862 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,756 WITHOUT RISKS. 863 00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:12,057 BUT 38 MILLION PEOPLE'S LIVES 864 00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:14,559 ARE AT STAKE, AND DOING NOTHING 865 00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:16,294 WOULD BE YET ANOTHER COLOSSAL -- 866 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:17,963 IF I MAY BORROW A MILITARY 867 00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:19,197 INTELLIGENCE TERM HERE -- SWING 868 00:23:19,264 --> 00:23:20,198 AND A MISS. 869 00:23:20,265 --> 00:23:47,392 AND NOW, THIS. 870 00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:50,328 ARMED ROBBERY SUSPECT WITH THE 871 00:23:50,395 --> 00:23:51,196 HELP OF SOME DOO. 872 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:53,265 IT'S BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT 873 00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:54,933 KATHLEEN TASTE LIKE? 874 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,904 IF NOT, YOU PROBABLY WEREN'T 875 00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:01,773 POOR IN THE 70s THE 70s. 876 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,341 THE SPEAKER IS HENRY A REAL 877 00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:03,542 THING? 878 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,977 >> SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER 879 00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:06,578 DEAD. 880 00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:08,914 >> THE NEXT ROACH MOTEL COULD BE 881 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:09,214 YOUR HOUSE. 882 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,650 >> FLORIDA, THERE'S AN ICE CREAM 883 00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:11,917 PROBLEM. 884 00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:13,718 >> HE'S A 49-YEAR-OLD SNAKE 885 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,320 COLLECTOR. 886 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:15,620 OR, HE WAS. 887 00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:18,190 >> IN YOUR BODY HAS GIVEN UP, 888 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:19,391 TAKING ITS LAST BREATH, WHAT YOU 889 00:24:19,457 --> 00:24:22,093 WANT YOUR LOVED ONES TO DO WITH 890 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:22,294 THAT? 891 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,462 THINKING, DUMP IT IN A WHOLE IN 892 00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:26,231 THE YARD OF MY CHILDHOOD HOME IN 893 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,032 MISSISSIPPI AND DISCOVERED UP 894 00:24:27,098 --> 00:24:27,299 WITH DIRT. 895 00:24:27,365 --> 00:24:32,370 THAT'S ILLEGAL. 896 00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:32,904 >> John: MOVING ON. 897 00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:33,538 FINALLY, TONIGHT, I WANT TO TALK 898 00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:34,139 ABOUT ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, 899 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:34,439 OR A.I. 900 00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:35,440 IT'S A TECHNOLOGY WHICH, DESPITE 901 00:24:35,507 --> 00:24:35,974 POSING A CLEAR EXISTENTIAL 902 00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:36,608 THREAT TO HUMANITY, WE CURRENTLY 903 00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:37,242 MANAGE TO KEEP UNDER OUR CONTROL 904 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:37,776 USING PICTURES OF TRAFFIC 905 00:24:37,843 --> 00:24:38,376 LIGHTS. 906 00:24:38,443 --> 00:24:39,411 BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE: ONCE THE 907 00:24:39,477 --> 00:24:41,213 MACHINES LEARN HOW TO RECOGNIZE 908 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:44,482 THEM, WE ARE ALL FUCKED. 909 00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:45,417 I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT A.I. 910 00:24:45,483 --> 00:24:46,084 BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW POPULAR 911 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,787 TREND YOU MAY HAVE HEARD ABOUT. 912 00:24:48,854 --> 00:24:50,255 >> IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS 913 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,489 TALKING ABOUT THESE WEBSITES 914 00:24:51,556 --> 00:24:52,357 THAT USE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE 915 00:24:52,424 --> 00:24:54,593 TO GENERATE IMAGES. 916 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:55,760 IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF A TOOL NAMED 917 00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:57,128 DALL-E, WHICH COMES FROM A 918 00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:59,364 STARTUP NAMED OPENAI. 919 00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:00,565 YOU TYPE IN A DESCRIPTION OF 920 00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:01,766 SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SEE, AND A 921 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:02,801 COMPUTER CREATES REALISTIC 922 00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:06,338 IMAGES TO MATCH. 923 00:25:06,404 --> 00:25:07,138 THE FUN PART IS YOU CAN BE 924 00:25:07,205 --> 00:25:07,906 REALLY ELABORATE WITH YOUR 925 00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:09,741 DESCRIPTIONS. 926 00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:11,576 THE SYSTEM WAS TRAINED WITH 650 927 00:25:11,643 --> 00:25:14,145 MILLION PICTURES AND THE RESULTS 928 00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:14,813 ARE SOME OF THE BEST WE'VE SEEN 929 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,780 FROM COMPUTERS YET. 930 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:16,848 >> John: YES, A.I. IMAGE 931 00:25:16,915 --> 00:25:17,916 GENERATORS. 932 00:25:17,983 --> 00:25:19,317 THERE ARE A NUMBER OF THEM OUT 933 00:25:19,384 --> 00:25:20,285 THERE NOW, LIKE DALL-E, CRAIYON, 934 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,686 AND MIDJOURNEY. 935 00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:22,954 AND WITH EACH ONE, YOU SIMPLY 936 00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:24,022 TYPE IN A TEXT PROMPT AND IT'LL 937 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,123 CREATE IMAGES FOR YOU IN AROUND 938 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,324 A MINUTE. 939 00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,460 SO, FOR INSTANCE, YOU MIGHT TYPE 940 00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:29,227 IN, "ROAST BEEF SUPERHERO." 941 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:31,196 NOW, WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE? 942 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:32,797 IS IT A SUPERHERO MADE OF ROAST 943 00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:34,266 BEEF? 944 00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:36,101 IS IT A SUPERHERO THAT "SAVES" 945 00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:38,103 ROAST BEEF? 946 00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:38,603 IS IT BOTH? 947 00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:39,170 I HAVE NO IDEA. 948 00:25:39,237 --> 00:25:39,738 BUT HERE'S WHAT MIDJOURNEY'S 949 00:25:39,804 --> 00:25:40,438 A.I. CREATED BASED ON THAT 950 00:25:40,505 --> 00:25:42,774 PHRASE. 951 00:25:42,841 --> 00:25:45,577 AND I HAVE TO SAY: WELL PLAYED, 952 00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:47,646 ROBOT! 953 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:48,313 THERE'S THE FANTASTIC ROAST BEEF 954 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:48,747 SUPERHERO LOGO, THE 955 00:25:48,813 --> 00:25:49,347 MILD-MANNERED ROAST BEEF HERO 956 00:25:49,414 --> 00:25:49,981 WITH LEGS FOR ARMS AND NO LOWER 957 00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:51,149 BODY, THE HEADLESS ROAST BEEF 958 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:52,417 HERO HOLDING A ROAST BEEF CANE 959 00:25:52,484 --> 00:25:54,286 OF JUSTICE, AND THE HELMET 960 00:25:54,352 --> 00:25:56,621 WEARING AMERICA SHAPED CUT OF 961 00:25:56,688 --> 00:25:57,689 ROAST BEEF THAT APPEARS TO HAVE 962 00:25:57,756 --> 00:25:59,958 SHIT ON THE FLOOR. 963 00:26:00,025 --> 00:26:01,993 ALL FOUR OF THOSE IMAGES ARE NOW 964 00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,528 MY FAVORITE ROAST BEEF 965 00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:04,863 SUPERHEROES. 966 00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:06,164 MARVEL, IF YOU'RE WATCHING: 967 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:08,066 THERE'S PHASE FIVE OF THE MCU 968 00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:09,334 RIGHT THERE. 969 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:12,037 IT'S GENUINELY FASCINATING, NOT 970 00:26:12,103 --> 00:26:13,772 JUST TO SEE IMAGES COME TO LIFE 971 00:26:13,838 --> 00:26:15,273 IN SECONDS, BUT ALSO TO SEE HOW 972 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:16,875 A.I. INTERPRETS THESE PROMPTS. 973 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,143 POKING AROUND ON MIDJOURNEY'S 974 00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:19,978 DISCORD, YOU'LL DISCOVER THINGS 975 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:21,846 LIKE THIS DELIGHTFUL FROG 976 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:23,615 BUMBLEBEE, OR "JUDI DENCH 977 00:26:23,682 --> 00:26:26,051 FIGHTING A CENTAUR ON THE MOON," 978 00:26:26,117 --> 00:26:27,886 OR WHAT THE PROGRAM DECIDED TO 979 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,288 DO WHEN FED THE TWO-WORD PROMPT, 980 00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:30,922 "GOOSE PILATES." 981 00:26:30,989 --> 00:26:32,390 WHICH IS, I THINK WE CAN ALL 982 00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:36,261 AGREE: EXCELLENT. 983 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:37,629 YOU CAN KILL AN AFTERNOON 984 00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:38,196 SEARCHING TO SEE WHAT IMAGES 985 00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:38,663 OTHERS HAVE REQUESTED. 986 00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:40,131 WHICH IS WHAT ONE MEMBER OF OUR 987 00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:41,466 STAFF, JULIA, WAS DOING WHEN SHE 988 00:26:41,533 --> 00:26:44,669 MADE A FATEFUL DECISION. 989 00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:46,638 BECAUSE SHE STARTED PUTTING IN 990 00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:47,739 THE NAMES OF VARIOUS LATE-NIGHT 991 00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:49,074 HOSTS, LIKE JAMES CORDEN, WHICH 992 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:49,741 BROUGHT BACK EIGHT SEARCH 993 00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:50,942 RESULTS, INCLUDING "JAMES CORDEN 994 00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:52,444 FLYS A PLANE" AND "TRAIL CAM 995 00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:53,478 FOOTAGE OF JAMES CORDEN EATING 996 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:55,580 TEETH." 997 00:26:55,647 --> 00:26:57,782 AND I KNOW IT CAN BE HARD TO SEE 998 00:26:57,849 --> 00:26:59,918 HIM DO THAT, BUT THERE'S ONE 999 00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,786 WHERE HE EATS TEETH WITH PAUL 1000 00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:02,354 MCCARTNEY AND IT'S ACTUALLY 1001 00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:02,654 VERY MOVING. 1002 00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:03,388 INTERESTINGLY, FOR MOST HOSTS, 1003 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:04,823 THERE WEREN'T A TON OF RESULTS. 1004 00:27:04,889 --> 00:27:06,958 THERE WERE FOURTEEN FOR CONAN 1005 00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:08,493 O'BRIEN, EIGHT FOR COLBERT, 1006 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,495 THREE APIECE FOR TREVOR NOAH AND 1007 00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:11,830 JIMMY KIMMEL. 1008 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:12,430 BUT HERE'S WHERE THINGS GOT A 1009 00:27:12,497 --> 00:27:13,365 LITTLE WEIRD. 1010 00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:14,733 BECAUSE THEN SHE PUT IN MY NAME. 1011 00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:15,467 AND WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW HOW 1012 00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:17,736 MANY RESULTS CAME BACK? 1013 00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:18,436 IT'S FOUR HUNDRED AND 1014 00:27:18,503 --> 00:27:21,873 NINETY-THREE. 1015 00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:22,674 >> ON ONE LEVEL, I GET IT. 1016 00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:25,143 I DO HAVE A FACE THAT'S 1017 00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:27,145 ALREADY BASICALLY A BOARDWALK 1018 00:27:27,212 --> 00:27:29,848 CARICATURE. 1019 00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:31,082 I'VE GOT WHAT CARNIVAL ARTISTS 1020 00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:33,418 REFER TO AS "A REAL SOFTBALL" 1021 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,853 BUT NEARLY FIVE HUNDRED RESULTS 1022 00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:37,155 IS A LOT. 1023 00:27:37,222 --> 00:27:38,623 AND IT'S NOT JUST THE VOLUME -- 1024 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:39,190 IT'S THE SPECIFICITY OF THE 1025 00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:40,325 PROMPTS. 1026 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:41,226 THERE'S "JOHN OLIVER IN 1027 00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:43,661 VICTORIAN ERA DRESS," 1028 00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:44,295 "JOHN OLIVER BUSTING OUT OF A 1029 00:27:44,362 --> 00:27:46,865 CAN OF DEL MONTE GREEN BEANS," 1030 00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:48,199 "JOHN OLIVER AS AN AMOEBA VIEWED 1031 00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:50,235 THROUGH A MICROSCOPE," AND 1032 00:27:50,301 --> 00:27:51,136 "JOHN OLIVER COMMANDING A HORDE 1033 00:27:51,202 --> 00:27:53,438 OF ELVES TO CHARGE A POTATO." 1034 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:54,773 ALL OF THESE DESERVE TO BE IN 1035 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:55,907 THE LOUVRE, AND AT LEAST ONE OF 1036 00:27:55,974 --> 00:27:57,008 THEM DEPICTS AN ACTUAL NIGHTMARE 1037 00:27:57,075 --> 00:27:59,244 I'VE HAD. 1038 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:00,979 BUT THERE'S ONE MIDJOURNEY USER 1039 00:28:01,046 --> 00:28:02,380 WHO'S GONE ABOVE AND BEYOND -- A 1040 00:28:02,447 --> 00:28:03,248 USER BY THE NAME OF 1041 00:28:03,314 --> 00:28:04,816 POST-POOP-ZOOMIES. 1042 00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:06,151 AND I WON'T PRETEND I LOVED 1043 00:28:06,217 --> 00:28:08,119 SAYING THOSE WORDS, BUT I THINK 1044 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:09,621 YOU'LL AGREE THAT THEIR A.I. 1045 00:28:09,687 --> 00:28:11,589 CREATIONS ARE SIMPLY 1046 00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:12,357 MIND-BLOWING. 1047 00:28:12,424 --> 00:28:12,991 FOR INSTANCE, THERE'S 1048 00:28:13,058 --> 00:28:15,026 "JOHN OLIVER AS MONA LISA" -- 1049 00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:16,327 WHICH IS STRIKING, THOUGH I 1050 00:28:16,394 --> 00:28:17,195 BELIEVE MAY BE ENOUGH TO BE 1051 00:28:17,262 --> 00:28:19,664 PROSECUTED AS A FELONY IN ITALY. 1052 00:28:19,731 --> 00:28:21,099 THEN THERE'S "JOHN OLIVER IS A 1053 00:28:21,166 --> 00:28:23,034 PERFECT EGG," AND "JOHN OLIVER 1054 00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:24,702 IS AN EGG WITH A BAD ATTITUDE SO 1055 00:28:24,769 --> 00:28:25,870 DON'T MESS WITH HIM OR HE WILL 1056 00:28:25,937 --> 00:28:26,671 DO TO YOU WHAT HE DID TO HUMPTY 1057 00:28:26,738 --> 00:28:28,940 DUMPTY." 1058 00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:30,075 THAT'S JUST ONE OF MANY IMAGES 1059 00:28:30,141 --> 00:28:31,476 WHERE POST-POOP-ZOOMIES 1060 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:33,578 SEEMINGLY TRIED TO TELL A WHOLE 1061 00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:34,879 STORY -- THERE'S ALSO 1062 00:28:34,946 --> 00:28:36,247 "JOHN OLIVER AT BRUNCH WITH THE 1063 00:28:36,314 --> 00:28:37,749 GIRLS, AND HE'S LAUGHING BECAUSE 1064 00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:39,951 DEBBIE TOLD A FUNNY JOKE," WHICH 1065 00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:41,019 IS REMARKABLE, BECAUSE THAT'S 1066 00:28:41,086 --> 00:28:41,886 EXACTLY WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN 1067 00:28:41,953 --> 00:28:44,422 DEBBIE DOES THAT! 1068 00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:45,457 OR HOW ABOUT "JOHN OLIVER AS A 1069 00:28:45,523 --> 00:28:46,624 COWBOY WITH A COWBOY HAT SO 1070 00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:47,992 LARGE NOBODY HAS ANY RESPECT FOR 1071 00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:49,894 HIM." 1072 00:28:49,961 --> 00:28:51,496 WHICH IS AMAZING. 1073 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,298 I COULDN'T TELL YOU WHAT SIZE A 1074 00:28:53,364 --> 00:28:54,766 COWBOY HAT HAS TO BE TO 1075 00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,102 INSTANTLY DISSOLVE RESPECT, BUT 1076 00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:58,169 THAT COMPUTER WAS ABLE TO 1077 00:28:58,236 --> 00:28:59,270 CALCULATE THE DIMENSIONS 1078 00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:00,805 PERFECTLY. 1079 00:29:00,872 --> 00:29:02,841 >> AND HONESTLY, BRAVO TO YOU, 1080 00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:04,375 POST-POOP-ZOOMIES. 1081 00:29:04,442 --> 00:29:05,643 I DID HAVE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT 1082 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:07,178 YOUR PROCESS, UNTIL I FOUND THIS 1083 00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:08,913 POST FROM YOU, WHICH READ 1084 00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:10,715 SIMPLY, "I GOT HIGH AND BLASTED 1085 00:29:10,782 --> 00:29:13,418 A MILLION JOHN OLIVERS." 1086 00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:14,152 WHICH DEFINITELY TRACKS! 1087 00:29:14,219 --> 00:29:15,687 BUT THE TRUE MASTERPIECE ON 1088 00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:17,722 MIDJOURNEY IS A LONG SERIES OF 1089 00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:19,824 IMAGES I LIKE TO THINK OF AS 1090 00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:20,725 "THE CABBAGE SAGA," CREATED BY 1091 00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:23,361 POST-POOP-ZOOMIES AND ANOTHER 1092 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:27,398 ACCOUNT, MARGARET. 1093 00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:28,266 THE STORY STARTS AS ALL GOOD 1094 00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:29,801 STORIES DO -- HUMBLY, WITH THE 1095 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:30,935 IMAGE OF, "JOHN OLIVER IS VERY 1096 00:29:31,002 --> 00:29:33,438 CONFUSED IN A CABBAGE FIELD." 1097 00:29:33,505 --> 00:29:34,272 FROM THERE, WE MOVE TO 1098 00:29:34,339 --> 00:29:35,974 "JOHN OLIVER, GROWING CABBAGES 1099 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,575 IN HIS APARTMENT." 1100 00:29:37,642 --> 00:29:39,110 A HOBBY THAT EVIDENTLY TAKES OFF 1101 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:40,145 FOR ME, GIVEN THAT WE THEN SEE 1102 00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:41,646 "JOHN OLIVER GIVES A TED TALK ON 1103 00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:42,514 PROPER CABBAGE GROWTH 1104 00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:43,781 TECHNIQUES." 1105 00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:45,316 WHICH TO BE FAIR IS STILL BETTER 1106 00:29:45,383 --> 00:29:46,351 THAN THIS REAL TED TALK CALLED 1107 00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:47,519 "HOW TO TIE YOUR SHOES." 1108 00:29:47,585 --> 00:29:50,522 THEN THINGS START ESCALATING, 1109 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:51,990 BECAUSE NEXT WE SEE "JOHN OLIVER 1110 00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,292 THROWING A CABBAGE" AND, 1111 00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:55,326 "JOHN OLIVER THROWING A CABBAGE 1112 00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:57,028 AT A CHILD" FOR SOME REASON, AND 1113 00:29:57,095 --> 00:29:59,130 THEN, IN A BIG PLOT TWIST: 1114 00:29:59,197 --> 00:30:00,765 "JOHN OLIVER HAVING DINNER WITH 1115 00:30:00,832 --> 00:30:02,767 A CABBAGE BECAUSE HE REALIZES 1116 00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:04,636 MAYBE HE JUDGED THEM TOO SOON." 1117 00:30:04,702 --> 00:30:06,070 THAT'S A SUBTEXT THAT COMES OUT 1118 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,406 OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE BUT IT 1119 00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:09,674 MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE WHEN YOU 1120 00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:11,075 SEE "JOHN OLIVER LOOKING 1121 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:13,077 LOVINGLY AT HIS CABBAGE HAVING 1122 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:15,446 REALIZED THAT HE'S FALLING IN 1123 00:30:15,513 --> 00:30:15,813 LOVE." 1124 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,514 FOLLOWED BY, "DOES JOHN OLIVER 1125 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:17,348 LOVE THE CABBAGE? 1126 00:30:17,415 --> 00:30:18,950 YES, YES, HE DOES." 1127 00:30:19,017 --> 00:30:19,918 AND FROM THERE, IT'S ON TO, 1128 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,553 INEVITABLY, "JOHN OLIVER AND THE 1129 00:30:21,619 --> 00:30:23,621 CABBAGE ARE GETTING MARRIED!" 1130 00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:26,157 AND INTERESTINGLY, IT'S AT THIS 1131 00:30:26,224 --> 00:30:28,626 POINT THAT THE A.I. FOR THE VERY 1132 00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:30,895 FIRST TIME, SEEMS TO STRUGGLE 1133 00:30:30,962 --> 00:30:34,866 WITH A PROMPT. 1134 00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:37,569 BECAUSE THAT SEEMS TO BE AN 1135 00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:38,636 IMAGE OF ME GETTING MARRIED TO 1136 00:30:38,703 --> 00:30:39,270 MYSELF, AND THE CABBAGE SOMEHOW 1137 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:39,804 BEING THERE AS A WITNESS. 1138 00:30:39,871 --> 00:30:40,471 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS STORY'S 1139 00:30:40,538 --> 00:30:40,805 ABOUT, IS IT? 1140 00:30:40,872 --> 00:30:41,372 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS 1141 00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:41,906 COMPUTER IS STRUGGLING TO 1142 00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:42,473 UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE SIMPLE 1143 00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:43,074 CONCEPT OF, "A MAN WANTING TO 1144 00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:44,943 MARRY A CABBAGE." 1145 00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:46,411 IT'S NOT COMPLICATED, COMPUTER. 1146 00:30:46,477 --> 00:30:47,545 THIS IS WHY WE'RE NOT LETTING 1147 00:30:47,612 --> 00:30:50,014 YOU DRIVE CARS YET. 1148 00:30:50,081 --> 00:30:51,783 BUT THE STORY'S STILL NOT DONE. 1149 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:53,651 AND I HAVE TO WARN YOU: IT TAKES 1150 00:30:53,718 --> 00:30:54,586 SOMETHING OF A DARKER TURN. 1151 00:30:54,652 --> 00:30:56,521 BECAUSE THE NEXT THING WE SEE 1152 00:30:56,588 --> 00:30:58,456 IS -- AND THIS MADE ME GASP OUT 1153 00:30:58,523 --> 00:30:59,557 LOUD -- "OH NO! 1154 00:30:59,624 --> 00:31:01,125 JOHN OLIVER DREAMED ABOUT BEING 1155 00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:02,360 HUNGRY AND ATE THE CABBAGE IN 1156 00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:04,896 HIS SLEEP!" 1157 00:31:04,963 --> 00:31:07,398 WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY MORTIFYING, 1158 00:31:07,465 --> 00:31:08,633 AND UNDERSTANDABLY FOLLOWED BY, 1159 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:09,934 "JOHN OLIVER CRYING INTO HALF A 1160 00:31:10,001 --> 00:31:12,303 CABBAGE" AND "JOHN OLIVER WILL 1161 00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:13,638 NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN, HIS HEART 1162 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,106 IS BROKEN BUT HIS STOMACH IS 1163 00:31:15,173 --> 00:31:16,908 FULL." 1164 00:31:16,975 --> 00:31:17,809 WHICH IS BOTH TRAGIC AND SOMEHOW 1165 00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:20,311 BEAUTIFUL. 1166 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:21,546 AND, IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT I 1167 00:31:21,613 --> 00:31:22,847 DID WITH THE OTHER HALF OF THE 1168 00:31:22,914 --> 00:31:24,415 CABBAGE, THAT'S MADE CLEAR BY 1169 00:31:24,482 --> 00:31:25,383 THE FINAL PROMPT, WHICH IS 1170 00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:26,884 SIMPLY, "JOHN OLIVER POURING 1171 00:31:26,951 --> 00:31:29,053 CABBAGE ASHES INTO THE OCEAN" 1172 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,488 AND WHAT A JOURNEY WE ALL JUST 1173 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,123 WENT ON. 1174 00:31:32,190 --> 00:31:33,958 THIS STORY IS A TRUE TESTAMENT 1175 00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:35,493 TO LIFE'S HIGHS AND LOWS, 1176 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,061 SHOWING HOW POETIC, LOVELY, AND. 1177 00:31:37,128 --> 00:31:38,429 WEIRDLY FULL OF CABBAGE LIFE CAN 1178 00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:40,798 BE. 1179 00:31:40,865 --> 00:31:41,966 THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE THING 1180 00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:42,834 THAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT ALL OF 1181 00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:43,801 THIS. 1182 00:31:43,868 --> 00:31:45,370 AND THAT'S THAT WEDDING IMAGE. 1183 00:31:45,436 --> 00:31:46,504 BECAUSE TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT 1184 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:47,672 IT RIGHT NOW. 1185 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,641 THE A.I. PROGRAM NAILED ALL ITS 1186 00:31:49,707 --> 00:31:50,842 OTHER ASSIGNMENTS, BUT THIS 1187 00:31:50,908 --> 00:31:52,210 IMAGE -- THE KEY IMAGE IN THAT 1188 00:31:52,277 --> 00:31:54,078 WHOLE STORY, AND THE PIVOT POINT 1189 00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:55,713 TO THE TRAGEDY THAT FOLLOWS -- 1190 00:31:55,780 --> 00:31:57,081 WAS SOMEHOW BEYOND ITS 1191 00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:57,749 CAPABILITIES. 1192 00:31:57,815 --> 00:31:59,784 WHICH SEEMS LIKE SUCH A SHAME. 1193 00:31:59,851 --> 00:32:01,686 THIS STORY DESERVED BETTER. 1194 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:03,421 POST-POOP-ZOOMIES DESERVED 1195 00:32:03,488 --> 00:32:05,957 BETTER, AS DID MARGARET. 1196 00:32:06,024 --> 00:32:07,225 WE ALL DESERVE BETTER. 1197 00:32:07,292 --> 00:32:08,526 AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME: 1198 00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:09,994 THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE WAY TO 1199 00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,229 REMEDY THE FACT WE WERE CHEATED 1200 00:32:11,296 --> 00:32:13,331 OUT OF THAT KEY WEDDING IMAGE, 1201 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:14,999 AND THAT'S FOR ME TO PROVIDE IT 1202 00:32:15,066 --> 00:32:16,067 FOR YOU NOW. 1203 00:32:16,134 --> 00:32:17,802 BUT NOT THROUGH GRAPHICS. 1204 00:32:17,869 --> 00:32:19,570 THAT WOULD BE FAR TOO EASY. 1205 00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:21,606 I'M THINKING MORE OF A FULL, 1206 00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:24,375 VIBRANT TABLEAU THAT BRINGS IT 1207 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:27,078 ALL HOME. 1208 00:32:27,145 --> 00:32:29,080 SO PLEASE, COME WITH ME. 1209 00:32:29,147 --> 00:32:30,615 BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO MARRY A 1210 00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:31,582 FUCKING CABBAGE. 1211 00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:58,876 >> Officiant: JOHN, DO YOU TAKE 1212 00:33:16,294 --> 00:33:18,129 >> Officiant: JOHN, DO YOU TAKE 1213 00:33:18,196 --> 00:33:18,796 THIS CABBAGE TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY 1214 00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:21,099 WEDDED SPOUSE, TO HAVE AND TO 1215 00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:22,967 HOLD FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, IN 1216 00:33:23,034 --> 00:33:25,269 SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, UNTIL 1217 00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:27,405 DEATH DO YOU PART? 1218 00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:31,876 >> John: I DO. 1219 00:33:31,943 --> 00:33:32,877 >> Officiant: AND DO YOU PROMISE 1220 00:33:32,944 --> 00:33:37,648 NOT TO EAT IT IN YOUR SLEEP? 1221 00:33:37,715 --> 00:33:38,716 >> John: I'LL TRY MY BEST, BUT I 1222 00:33:38,783 --> 00:33:40,651 THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO 1223 00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:41,953 THAT. 1224 00:33:42,019 --> 00:33:45,857 >> Officiant: BY THE POWERS 1225 00:33:45,923 --> 00:33:47,392 VESTED IN ME, I NOW PRONOUNCE 1226 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:48,693 YOU MAN AND CABBAGE. 1227 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:49,761 YOU MAY KISS THE CABBAGE.