♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME, I'M JOHN OLIVER
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US, IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK
WHICH STARTED IN SPECTACULAR
FASHION
WITH HEIDI KLUM DELIVERING THIS
MASTERPIECE OF A HALLOWEEN
COSTUME.
>> HEY, HEIDI, HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GREAT.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> JUST HANGING AROUND OR LAYING
AROUND?
>> YOU KNOW, JUST LAYING AROUND.
JUST WORMING AROUND, YOU KNOW.
>> John: SPECTACULAR.
JUST VERY GOOD.
FROM THE LEVEL OF DETAIL, TO THE
RESPONSE "JUST WORMING AROUND",
TO THE FACT THAT SHE WAS LATER
FILMED DANCING IN THE WORM
COSTUME.
AND IT'S BOTH IMPRESSIVE AND
DEPRESSING THAT SHE'S A BETTER
DANCER IN THAT SUIT THAN I AM
COMPLETELY UNENCUMBERED.
IT'S A GOOD LESSON FOR ALL OF
US: TRY AND BE AS GOOD AT
ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE AS HEIDI
KLUM IS AT HALLOWEEN.
OBVIOUSLY, THOUGH, THERE WAS
OTHER NEWS THIS WEEK, FROM LULA
DEFEATING BOLSONARO IN BRAZIL'S
RUNOFF ELECTION, TO ELON MUSK
MAKING BIG MOVES AS HE STARTS
RUNNING TWITTER, AND POTENTIALLY
INTO THE GROUND.
ADVERTISERS ARE ALREADY STEPPING
AWAY FROM THE PLATFORM, AND HALF
OF THE COMPANY'S WORK FORCE WAS
REPORTEDLY ELIMINATED, WITH SOME
PAINTING A PRETTY BLEAK PICTURE
OF WHAT IT'S LIKE INSIDE THE
COMPANY.
>> SO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
THAT TWITTER EMPLOYEES WANT TO
STRESS IS THAT THE COMPANY IS A
NIGHTMARE RIGHT NOW AND YOU
CANNOT WORK THERE.
AND THE WEBSITE IS BUILT ON
STICKS AND IT MIGHT FALL APART.
>> John: WOW.
"IT'S A NIGHTMARE BUILT ON
STICKS AND THE WHOLE THING MIGHT
FALL APART."
THAT SOUNDS LESS LIKE THE
DESCRIPTION OF A VITAL
COMMUNICATION PLATFORM, AND MORE
LIKE TWO OF THE LITTLE PIGS
TALKING SHIT ABOUT THEIR MIDDLE
BROTHER'S HOUSE.
BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIVE
STRAIGHT IN TO OUR MAIN STORY
TONIGHT, WHICH CONCERNS A
VOTING.
PRACTICE THAT WAS ONCE SOLD TO
YOUTH WITH THE SLOGAN, VOTE OR
DIE, AND GIVEN THE STATE OF
POLITICS RIGHT NOW, FOR THE
FIRST TIME, I'M REQUESTING MORE
INFORMATION ON THE SECOND
OPTION.
SPECIFICALLY, WITH THE MIDTERMS
NOW JUST TWO DAYS AWAY, WE
WANTED TO FOCUS ON A DANGEROUS
TREND AMONG REPUBLICAN
CANDIDATES -- DENYING THE
LEGITIMACY OF THE LAST ELECTION.
>> THE FAKE NEWS, BIG TECH AND
BLUE STATE LIBERALS STOLE THE
ELECTION FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP.
>> THE 2020 ELECTION WAS A
TOTALLY RIGGED ELECTION.
>> IN FACT, QUITE FRANKLY, EVERY
ELECTION SINCE I THINK GEORGE
WASHINGTON, THERE'S BEEN SOME
KIND OF A DEFECT IN THE SYSTEM.
>> YOU COULD SAY BIDEN WON THE
PRESIDENCY KIND OF LIKE O.J IS
INNOCENT.
IT'S THE SAME KIND OF-
>> John: I'LL SAY THIS -- THOSE
PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS, BUT
THEY'RE HAVING A REALLY GOOD
TIME!
CHECK OUT THIS GUY!
I'VE NEVER BEEN AS HAPPY AS HE
IS HEARING AN O.J.
SIMPSON JOKE IN 2021.
AND I HAVE TWO CHILDREN.
AND THE THING IS, THOSE PEOPLE
ARE NOT ALONE -- A MAJORITY OF
REPUBLICAN NOMINEES FOR HOUSE,
SENATE, OR KEY STATEWIDE OFFICES
THIS YEAR DENY OR QUESTION THE
2020 ELECTION RESULTS.
AND SOME, LIKE THIS GUY, DENY IT
WHILE TRYING TO ADD A BIT OF
SPECTACLE:
>> HEY, MIKE COLLINS, HERE, YOUR
PRO-TRUMP AMERICA FIRST TRUCKER,
RUNNING FOR CONGRESS HERE IN
GEORGIA TEN.
WELL, I UNDERSTAND JOE BIDEN WAS
IN TOWN YESTERDAY TO TALK ABOUT
OUR ELECTIONS.
IT SEEMS THAT HE AND KAMALA
HARRIS CALLED ANYONE WHO
DISAGREE WITH THE FEDERAL
HIJACKING OF THIS ELECTION "A
RACIST.' WELL, JOE, I GOT SOME
NEWS FOR YOU.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT GEORGIANS
REALLY BELIEVE.
SEE, GEORGIANS ARE SICK AND
TIRED OF WEAK-KNEED, SPINELESS
POLITICIANS WHO WON'T FIGHT FOR
TRUMP, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF
2020, AND FIX OUR ELECTIONS.
WELL, IF THEY WON'T DO IT, MIKE
COLLINS WILL.
SEND ME TO WASHINGTON.
[THE EXPLOSION]
>> John: OKAY, TOO MANY THINGS
TO GET INTO THERE.
YOUR BRAIN WANTS TO FOCUS ON
"PRO-TRUMP AMERICA FIRST TRUCKER
BUT THEN WONDERS, "WHY IS HE
DRESSED LIKE THE WORLD'S
ANGRIEST TARGET EMPLOYEE?
BEFORE NOTICING, "WAIT, IS THAT
A GARBAGE CAN LABELED "VOTING
MACHINE?"
THEN ALSO LABELED "CAST BALLOT',
AS IF THEY KNEW THE FIRST LABEL
WASN'T CONVINCING ANYONE, BUT
THOUGHT THE SECOND ONE MIGHT?
THEN IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FOCUS
ON THE SUBTLE BUT UNMISTAKABLE
EDIT POINT BEFORE THE EXPLOSION,
BREAKING THE ILLUSION THAT WAS
SHOT IN A SINGLE TAKE, THEN
FINALLY YOUR BRAIN SAYS, "HEY,
HE OPENED WITH "JOE BIDEN AND
KAMALA HARRIS THINK I'M A
RACIST;' DID HE EVER CLOSE THAT
LOOP OR NAH?"
AND BRAIN?
ANYWAY, THAT MAN'S COMPLETELY
RIDICULOUS, AND GIVEN THE
DISTRICT WHERE HE'S RUNNING,
HE'S ALMOST CERTAINLY GOING TO
WIN ON TUESDAY.
BUT IT'S WORTH DWELLING ON THE
PROMISE THAT HE, AND THOSAE
OTHER CANDIDATES, ARE MAKING --
THAT THEY'RE GOING TO "FIX OUR
ELECTIONS."
BECAUSE THAT SPEAKS TO A REAL
PROBLEM, WHICH IS THAT A
TROUBLING NUMBER OF ELECTION
DENIERS ARE RUNNING FOR JOBS
THAT CAN PLAY KEY ROLES IN
ADMINISTERING ELECTIONS IN THEIR
STATES.
IN FACT, OVER HALF THE COUNTRY
HAS AN ELECTION DENIER RUNNING
TO OVERSEE THEIR ELECTIONS, AND
MANY OF THEM ARE EXPECTED TO
WIN.
AND LOOK: WE'VE TALKED BEFORE
ABOUT VOTER SUPPRESSION ON THIS
SHOW, WHETHER THAT'S THROUGH
VOTER ID LAWS, FELONY
DISENFRANCHISEMENT,
GERRYMANDERING, OR RESTRICTIONS
ON MAIL-IN VOTING.
BUT THOSE TACTICS ALL TAKE PLACE
BEFORE YOU CAST YOUR BALLOT.
TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS ON
ELECTION SUBVERSION -- WHICH
TYPICALLY HAPPENS AFTER THE
VOTES ARE IN.
IT'S A STRATEGY TO NEGATE
LEGITIMATE ELECTION RESULTS BY
SIMPLY REFUSING TO ACCEPT THEM.
TRUMP FAMOUSLY TRIED TO SUBVERT
THE LAST ELECTION.
AND SOME CURRENT CANDIDATES ARE
PROMISING, IF ELECTED, THEY'LL
BE ABLE TO GUARANTEE A CERTAIN
RESULT IN THE FUTURE.
>> JIM MARCHANT.
>> AMERICA FIRST SECRETARY OF
STATE COALITION.
AND IF THEY WIN, HE'S BEEN
PRETTY CLEAR ABOUT WHAT THAT
WOULD MEAN.
>> WHEN MY COALITION OF
SECRETARY OF STATE CANDIDATES
GET ELECTED, WE'RE GONNA FIX THE
WHOLE COUNTRY AND PRESIDENT
TRUMP IS GOING TO BE PRESIDENT
AGAIN IN 2024!
>> John: YEAH, NO WONDER TRUMP
LIKES THAT MESSAGE.
ALSO IT PROBABLY DOESN'T HURT
THAT IT'S COMING FROM A GUY WHO
LOOKS LIKE A SMALLER, PALER
VERSION OF HIM.
LOOK AT THAT MAN.
HE LOOKS LIKE THE POKEMON THAT
TRUMP EVOLVES FROM.
SO IF THE PLAN IS THIS OVERT,
AND WITH POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES
THIS DIRE FOR THIS ELECTION AND
BEYOND, TONIGHT, LET'S TALK
ABOUT ELECTION SUBVERSION.
AND TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE
FACING, LET'S REVISIT -- BRIEFLY
-- SOME OF THE CHAOS FOLLOWING
THE LAST ELECTION.
AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY REMEMBER,
AFTER TRUMP'S LOSS, HE TRIED A
LOT OF TACTICS TO SWING THINGS
BACK IN HIS FAVOR, INCLUDING
CALLING BRAD RAFFENSPERGER, THE
SECRETARY OF STATE OF GEORGIA,
TO ASK HIM FOR ONE SMALL FAVOR.
>> SO LOOK, ALL I WANT TO DO IS
THIS.
I JUST WANT TO FIND, UH, 11,780
VOTES, WHICH IS ONE MORE THAN WE
HAVE BECAUSE WE WON THE STATE.
>> John: IT'S STILL INCREDIBLE
TO HEAR THAT, AND A COLD CHILL
RAN DOWN MY URETHRA MERELY
HEARING HIS VOICE AGAIN,
SEEMINGLY FORGETTING, AT ONE
POINT, BOTH HOW MANY VOTES HE
NEEDS, AND THE WORD "VOTES."
IT'S AMAZING TO LISTEN TO
SOMEONE ATTEMPT A COUP WITH THE
SAME FOCUSED ENERGY OF A DAD
STRUGGLING TO REMEMBER HIS
FAMILY'S McDONALD'S ORDER.
"YEAH, UM, CAN I GET A SPICY.
CRISPY, "CRUNCHY?" CHICKEN AND
UUUUH.
TWO.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING CALLED
"SON OF BACONATOR' HERE?
ARE YOU THE WHOPPER PLACE OR ARE
YOU THE OTHER ONE?
YEAH, I'M IN THE WRONG PLACE,
OKAY GOT IT, FUCK ME."
NOW, THANKFULLY, RAFFENSPERGER
DECLINED TRUMP'S REQUEST, WHICH
LEFT HIM TO FIGHT HIS BATTLES IN
THE COURTS -- WHERE HE LOST OVER
SIXTY LAWSUITS CHALLENGING THE
ELECTION RESULTS.
HE THEN FAMOUSLY TRIED AT THE
LAST MINUTE, TO BULLY MIKE PENCE
INTO REFUSING TO CERTIFY BIDEN'S
WIN, INCLUDING A PHONE CALL
WHERE TRUMP CALLED HIM A WIMP,
AND "THE P WORD."
WHICH I KNOW IS SUPPOSED TO BE
PUSSY BUT TO BE HONEST, "THE P
WORD SOUNDS LIKE THE PHRASE
GEPPETTO'S THERAPIST USES TO
TALK ABOUT
PINOCCHIO.
AND WHILE I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER
ALL THAT, THERE WERE ALSO
SMALLER, MUCH LESSER-KNOWN
INCIDENTS WHERE PEOPLE FURTHER
DOWN THE CHAIN ALSO TRIED
THUMBING THE SCALE -- LIKE IN
WAYNE COUNTY, MICHIGAN, WHERE
TRUMP SUPPORTERS RAISED BULLSHIT
CLAIMS ABOUT VOTING
IRREGULARITIES IN DETROIT, AND A
REPUBLICAN MEMBER OF THE COUNTY
BOARD OF CANVASSERS THERE
PROPOSED THIS SIMPLE SOLUTION.
>> I WOULD BE OPEN TO A MOTION
TO- TO CERTIFY COMMUNITIES OTHER
THAN THE CITY OF DETROIT.
>> THAT MOVE OUTRAGED THE
DEMOCRATS ON THE BOARD, AND
SPEAKER AFTER SPEAKER ON THE
BOARD'S PUBLIC ZOOM MEETING.
>> YOU HAVE EXTRACTED A BLACK
CITY OUT OF A COUNTY, AND YOU
HAVE SAID THE ONLY ONES THAT ARE
AT ISSUE IS THE CITY OF DETROIT,
WHERE 80% OF THE PEOPLE WHO
RESIDE HERE ARE
AFRICAN-AMERICAN.
>> John: I UNDERSTAND WHY HE'S
UPSET.
GENERALLY, WHEN A WHITE PERSON
SAYS "I HAVE A COMPROMISE AND
STARTS DOING ELECTORAL FRACTIONS
THAT COUNT BLACK PEOPLE LESS,
THOSE HAVEN'T BEEN GREAT MOMENTS
FOR DEMOCRACY.
NOW SHE LATER CLAIMED THAT SHE
MERELY WANTED MORE
INVESTIGATION
OF THOSE DETROIT VOTES BEFORE
SHE'D AGREE TO CERTIFY THEM.
AND WHILE, AFTER PUSHBACK FROM
MICHIGAN'S GOVERNOR AND
SECRETARY OF STATE, SHE
ULTIMATELY VOTED TO CERTIFY
BIDEN'S WIN, AFTER TRUMP CALLED
HER AND A FELLOW REPUBLICAN
BOARD MEMBER, THEY BOTH TRIED --
UNSUCCESSFULLY -- TO RESCIND
THEIR VOTES.
MEANWHILE, A FEW DAYS LATER, AT
MICHIGAN'S STATE CANVASSING
BOARD, THERE WAS A SIMILAR
STALEMATE.
ITS FOUR MEMBERS WERE EVENLY
SPLIT BETWEEN DEMOCRATS AND
REPUBLICANS, ONE OF WHOM REFUSED
TO CERTIFY BIDEN'S WIN.
WHICH MEANT IT WAS ALL ON THIS
GUY TO DO THE RIGHT THING,
WHICH, THANKFULLY, HE DID, WITH
THIS LITTLE SPEECH.
>> AS JOHN ADAMS ONCE SAID, WE
ARE A GOVERNMENT OF LAW, NOT
MEN.
AND THIS BOARD NEEDS TO ADHERE
TO THAT PRINCIPLE HERE TODAY.
THIS BOARD MUST DO ITS PART TO
UPHOLD THE RULE OF LAW AND
COMPLY WITH OUR LEGAL DUTY TO
CERTIFY THIS ELECTION.
I WILL BE SUPPORTING THE MOTION.
AND THAT WAS IT.
A BORING GUY WITH GLASSES
QUOTING JOHN ADAMS TO UPHOLD
DEMOCRACY.
I'M JUST SAYING -- GET BRADLEY
WHITFORD IN THERE AND SOME
STIRRING MUSIC, YOU'VE GOT THE
KIND OF SCENE THAT WOULD MAKE
AARON SORKIN CUM UNTIL HE PASSED
OUT.
AND THE THING IS, THOSE ARE
CLEARLY JUST TWO VERY LOCAL
EXAMPLES.
BUT IN STATE AFTER STATE, WE
WERE VERY LUCKY THAT A SMALL
GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS IN KEY
POSITIONS STOOD FIRM.
ARIZONA'S REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR
DOUG DUCEY WAS LITERALLY IN THE
MIDDLE OF CERTIFYING HIS STATE'S
WIN FOR BIDEN, WHEN HE GOT A
PHONE CALL FROM TRUMP, BUT PUT
HIS PHONE ASIDE, AND CONTINUED
SIGNING THE PAPERWORK.
I HAVE TO SAY: WATCHING SOMEONE
SCREEN YOUR CALL IS ONE OF THE
MOST DEVASTATING THINGS A HUMAN
BEING CAN POSSIBLY EXPERIENCE
AND I'M SO GLAD IT HAPPENED TO
DONALD TRUMP.
SO TO RECAP: THE GUARDRAILS THAT
PROTECT OUR DEMOCRACY WERE
HEAVILY TESTED IN 2020, AND
WHILE SOME MAJOR WEAKNESSES WERE
EXPOSED, THEY THANKFULLY HELD.
BUT SINCE THEN, THERE'S BEEN A
CONCERTED EFFORT TO ATTACK THE
PEOPLE AND INSTITUTIONS THAT GOT
IN TRUMP'S WAY, SHIFTING THE
LANDSCAPE IN WAYS THAT COULD
MAKE FUTURE SUBVERSION ATTEMPTS
EVEN MORE DANGEROUS.
FOR ONE THING, THE FERVOR AROUND
ELECTION FRAUD HAS BEEN
STUBBORNLY PERSISTENT, WITH A
RECENT POLL SHOWING SIXTY-ONE
PERCENT OF REPUBLICANS BELIEVE
JOE BIDEN ONLY WON DUE TO VOTER
FRAUD.
WHICH IS JUST RIDICULOUS, GIVEN
THAT -- AGAIN -- THERE'S NO
EVIDENCE OF THAT.
MULTIPLE STATES HAD EXHAUSTIVE
RECOUNTS.
THIS HAS BEEN LITIGATED.
THIS JUST ISN'T ONE OF THOSE
UNKNOWABLE THINGS THAT WILL
NEVER GET RESOLVED LIKE WHICH
ONE OF THE TELETUBBIES -- WHEN
COOKED PROPERLY -- WOULD TASTE
BEST.
THAT WE'LL NEVER KNOW!
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,
BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I'M THINKING,
TOO.
SHOULD WE ALL SAY IT AT ONCE?
PO.
EXACTLY.
OF COURSE IT'S PO.
EVERY ONE OF US IS PRETTY SURE
THAT ON A RAINY DAY IN JANUARY
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WOULD TASTE
BETTER THAN SOME BRAISED PO OVER
RICE.
WITH SOME GINGER?
WITH SOME WINE?!
OF COURSE EVERYONE'S PRETTY SURE
THAT A PO THAT SIMMERS FOR AN
HOUR AND A HALF AFTER GETTING
PROPERLY BLANCHED AND
CARAMELIZED WOULD MELT IN YOUR
MOUTH ON THAT JANUARY SUNDAY,
YUM.
BUT PRETTY SURE ISN'T SURE, IS
IT?
WE'LL NEVER DEFINITIVELY KNOW
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EAT
TELETUBBIES -- THERE ARE LAWS,
APPARENTLY -- SO ALL WE'RE LEFT
WITH IS GUT INSTINCT.
UNLIKE ELECTION RESULTS, WHICH
ARE ACTUALLY VERIFIED.
SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN, YOU
TASTY PLUMP CLOWN, OR I'LL HAVE
YOUR THICK SALTED THIGHS FOR MY
CHRISTMAS FEAST.
BUT THE THING IS, IF YOU'RE NOT
A REGULAR CONSUMER OF
CONSERVATIVE MEDIA, YOU MAY NOT
REALIZE THE EXTENT TO WHICH
"BIDEN STOLE THE ELECTION" HAS
TAKEN HOLD, AND ON THE BASIS OF
INCREDIBLY FLIMSY EVIDENCE --
PERHAPS BEST EXEMPLIFIED BY
"2000 MULES", A "DOCUMENTARY
FROM CONSERVATIVE BULLSHIT
ARTIST DINESH D'SOUZA, WHICH IS
WALL TO WALL NONSENSE.
>> THE 2020 ELECTIONS WERE ONE
OF THE MOST CORRUPT IN HISTORY.
SEE THE PROOF FOR YOURSELF.
>> WE TRACKED 2,000 MULES MAKING
MULTIPLE BALLOT DROPS.
>> 2000 MULES -- THE SHOCKING
NEW MOVIE FROM DINESH D'SOUZA.
>> PHILADELPHIA ALONE, WE'VE
IDENTIFIED MORE THAN 1100 MULES.
>> WHAT IS A MULE?
>> A PERSON PICKING UP BALLOTS
AND RUNNING THEM TO THE DROP
BOXES.
>> THIS IS NOT GRANDMA OUT
WALKING HER DOG.
BAD BACKGROUND, BAD REPUTATIONS.
>> John: OOH, SO INTENSE!
MYSTERIOUS HAND-OFFS IN DARK
ALLEYS, PEOPLE WITH BAD
REPUTATIONS -- IT'S NICE THAT WE
FINALLY HAVE AN ANSWER TO THE
QUESTION "WHAT IF THE WIRE WAS
CREATED BY VIRGINS?"
THE CENTRAL IDEA OF THE MOVIE IS
THE CLAIM THERE WERE VOTE MULES
WHO REPEATEDLY VISITED BALLOT
BOXES AND DEPOSITED SUSPECT
BALLOTS -- AND THAT DINESH AND
HIS FRIENDS HAVE IDENTIFIED
THEM, USING CELLPHONE DATA.
IT'D TAKE THE REST OF THIS SHOW
TO DEBUNK THE MOVIE'S CLAIMS
POINT BY POINT, BUT VERY
QUICKLY: THERE IS NO WAY BY JUST
USING CELLPHONE DATA TO KNOW
WHETHER SOMEONE VISITED A DROP
BOX OR WAS JUST IN THE VICINITY
OF ONE, PARTICULARLY SINCE THOSE
BOXES WERE INSTALLED IN
HIGH-TRAFFIC AREAS.
MEANWHILE, THE ONLY MAP THAT
SEEMS TO SHOW SOMEONE DRIVING
AROUND DUMPING BALLOTS IS FAKE,
AND ANOTHER MAP SUPPOSEDLY
SHOWING A DROP BOX SITE IS
ACTUALLY A STOCK PHOTO OF
MOSCOW, WITH A THIRD ONE JUST
THE SAME MOSCOW MAP AGAIN BUT
ROTATED NINETY DEGREES.
AND FINALLY, THE WHOLE THEORY
RESTS ON THESE MULES REPEATEDLY
GOING TO MULTIPLE DROP BOXES,
BUT WHILE THEY SHOW LOTS OF
FOOTAGE OF DROP BOXES WITHIN THE
MOVIE, NONE OF THEM SHOW THE
SAME PERSON MORE THAN ONCE.
INSTEAD, THE FILMMAKERS
BREATHLESSLY SCRUTINIZE FOOTAGE
FOR CLUES THEY CLAIM -- WITH
ZERO PROOF -- ARE EVIDENCE OF
CRIME, INCLUDING VOTERS WEARING
GLOVES -- Y'KNOW, DURING A
PANDEMIC -- OR TAKING PHOTOS AS
THEY DEPOSIT THEIR BALLOT.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A FULL
MINUTE FROM THE MOVIE WHERE THEY
WORK THEMSELVES UP OVER
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
>> OKAY, THE NEXT ONE.
>> YEAH.
LET ME SHOW YOU DOG GUY.
SO DOG GUY.
MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
THIS IS ACTUALLY AT A POLLING
PLACE.
SO THE PEOPLE IN LINE ARE
WAITING TO GO IN AND VOTE EARLY.
THEY'RE DOING IT THE RIGHT WAY.
OKAY, NOW-NOW YOU'VE GOT SOME
OTHER PEOPLE GONNA WALK UP.
THIS LADY DOESN'T CARE.
BUT THIS GUY, THIS NEXT GUY
CARED.
HE'S WATCHING THE WHOLE THING.
THAT GUY LOOKS AND TALKS TO HIM.
>> HE'S GOT THE BALLOTS UNDER
HIS ARM ALREADY, NOW HE'S GOT
THE REST THAT HE PULLED OUT OF
THE BAG.
>> AND HE'S GOING TO GET HIS
CAMERA READY TO TAKE THE
PICTURES AS HE PUTS THEM IN
THERE.
IF YOU CONSIDER THE BRAZENNESS
OF THIS, RIGHT, THIS IS THE
MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
THERE'S PEOPLE SITTING THERE
WATCHING YOU CHEAT.
PEOPLE THAT ARE DOING IT THE
RIGHT WAY.
>> BUT IT'S DIFFICULT FOR THEM
TO KNOW WHAT TO DO EXCEPT
OBSERVE AND MAYBE SAY WHAT'S
GOING ON?
WHAT DID I JUST SEE?
>> THEY WONDER, WHAT DOES THIS
ALL EVEN MEAN?
IF THIS IS HAPPENING IN BROAD
DAYLIGHT AND NOBODY IS DOING
ANYTHING TO STOP IT?
>> John: BUT THAT'S NOT DAMNING
EVIDENCE.
THAT IS FULLY NOT ANYTHING.
IT IS JUST SOMEONE VOTING.
AND WE NEED TO BE ABSOLUTELY
CLEAR ON SOMETHING, THE GUY IN
LINE THAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT?
WHO'S SUPPOSEDLY SHOCKED ABOUT
THE VOTER FRAUD HE'S WITNESSING?
HE'S LOOKING AT THE DOG.
AS ANYONE WOULD.
THE ONLY REASON I CAN FOCUS ON
WHAT'S GOING ON THERE RIGHT NOW
IS BECAUSE THEY, THANKFULLY,
BLURRED THE DOG, OTHERWISE I,
LIKE HIM, WOULD BE GAWKING AT IT
AND ASKING WHO'S A GOOD BOY
UNTIL THE POLLS CLOSED.
THIS MOVIE IS ASTONISHINGLY
DUMB, BUT HAS A REAL FOLLOWING.
FIFTY CANDIDATES HAVE PROMOTED
OR CITED IT.
AND IT -- AND CONSPIRACY
THEORIES LIKE IT -- HAVE WHIPPED
UP A SEA OF PERVASIVE DISTRUST.
WITH DENIERS NOW CHANNELING THAT
FEVER TO BURROW IN TO EVERY
LEVEL OF THE ELECTION PROCESS.
TAKE THE VERY LOWEST ONE,
PRECINCTS -- SMALL,
NEIGHBORHOOD-LEVEL UNITS
CENTERED AROUND POLLING PLACES.
POLITICAL PARTIES ORGANIZE IN
PRECINCTS, AND LOCAL GOVERNMENTS
HIRE AND RECRUIT POLL WORKERS
THERE.
TRUMP'S ALLIES HAVE BEEN WORKING
HARD TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE
WELL-REPRESENTED AT THAT LEVEL
-- PARTICUARLY STEVE BANNON,
PICTURED HERE -- DROWNED -- WHO
HAS MADE HIS PRECINCT STRATEGY A
CONSTANT REFRAIN:
>> WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW THE
WAY THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS
STRUCTURED IS THAT YOU CAN GO TO
A PRECINCT BECOME A PRECINCT
COMMITTEEMAN AND THEN YOU'VE GOT
REAL- THEN YOU'VE GOT REAL
STANDING.
>> WE'RE BUILDING AN ARMY OF THE
AWAKENED AND WE ARE TAKING OVER
PRECINCT STRATEGIES, WE'RE
TAKING OVER ELECTION BOARDS,
CANVASSING BOARDS
WE'RE FLOODING THE ZONE WITH
POLL WORKERS, POLL WATCHERS,
ELECTION JUDGES, PEOPLE IN THE
ROOM.
IT'S GOING TO BE MAGA IN THE
ROOM, COUNTING THE VOTES,
BECAUSE ONLY MAGA CAN COUNT
FAIR.
>> John: OKAY, SET ASIDE "ONLY
MAGA CAN COUNT FAIR" -- JUST
SPARE A MOMENT FOR HIS ROOM
DECOR, WHICH FEATURES AN ACTUAL
SIGN READING "THERE ARE NO
CONSPIRACIES, BUT THERE ARE NO
COINCIDENCES" A QUOTE ATTRIBUTED
TO STEPHEN K.
BANNON.
AND WHILE YOU MIGHT THINK
THERE'S NOTHING DOUCHIER THAN
QUOTING YOURSELF, IT TURNS OUT,
YOU'RE WRONG -- IT'S DOING THAT
WHILE ALSO SLYLY TRYING TO GIVE
YOUR NAME A FANCY MAKEOVER.
"STEPHEN K BANNON"?
PLEASE, STEVE.
NO ONE'S BUYING THAT.
PLUS, WE LOOKED AND THE K IS FOR
KEVIN.
YOU'RE JUST MAKING YOUR NAME
EVEN SADDER.
BUT BANNON'S STRATEGY SEEMS TO
HAVE PAID OFF.
PROPUBLICA FOUND LAST YEAR THAT,
IN 41 KEY BATTLEGROUND COUNTIES,
THERE WERE AT LEAST 8500 NEW
REPUBLICAN PRECINCT OFFICERS OR
EQUIVALENT OFFICIALS, WITH NO
SIMILAR SURGE FROM THE
DEMOCRATS.
BANNON AND OTHER REPUBLICANS
HAVE ALSO BEEN ENCOURAGING
PEOPLE TO TAKE ON JOBS IN
POLLING STATIONS, WHILE ISSUING
SOME TROUBLING ADVICE.
AT ONE TRAINING SESSION FOR POLL
WORKERS AND WATCHERS IN
MICHIGAN, RUN BY A REPUBLICAN
ACTIVIST GROUP, PARTICIPANTS
WERE TOLD TO CALL 911 AND
CONTACT SHERIFFS TO INVOLVE LAW
ENFORCEMENT IN ANY
ELECTION-RELATED COMPLAINTS.
WHICH ISN'T GREAT.
YOU SHOULD CLEARLY ONLY CALL
9-1-1 WITH AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY,
LIKE A CAR ACCIDENT OR A
BREAK-IN OR WHEN SOMEONE TAKES
OFF THEIR SHOES "AND SOCKS ON A
PLANE.
"HI, YES, I KNOW WE'RE IN THE
SKY, BUT I'M ASKING YOU TO GET A
POLICE HELICOPTER AND SHOOT.
US.
DOWN."
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING ELECTION
SUPERVISORS WON'T STAND FOR
SHENANIGANS LIKE THAT, YOU
SHOULD KNOW -- MANY HAVE BEEN
DRIVEN AWAY.
ONE INVESTIGATION FOUND THAT IN
FIVE HIGHLY CONTESTED
BATTLEGROUND STATES, ROUGHLY ONE
IN THREE TOP ELECTION
ADMINISTRATORS LEFT THE JOB
AFTER THE 2020 ELECTION.
AND WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE KIND
OF PERSONAL MESSAGES SOME
RECEIVED LAST TIME, YOU DO
UNDERSTAND WHY THEY MIGHT NOT
WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.
>> THIS ELECTION IS F-ING
RIGGED.
YOU ALL KNOW IT.
AND YOU ARE COMPLICIT AS F.
>> YOU LIED.
YOU'RE A TRAITOR.
PERHAPS CUTS AND BULLETS WILL
SOON ARRIVE.
GAVE MY ADDRESS.
>> HEY, RICK.
234 YEARS AGO, THE FOUNDING
CAUCASIAN FATHERS OF AMERICA
GAVE US THE SECOND AMENDMENT.
TIME'S RUNNING OUT, RICHARD.
WE'RE COMING AFTER YOU AND EVERY
MOTHERFUCKER THAT STOLE THIS
ELECTION WITH OUR SECOND
AMENDMENT, SUBPOENAS BE DAMNED.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE SERVED LEAD,
YOU FUCKING-FUCKING ENIMAL-ENEMY
COMMUNIST --
>> John: HOLY SHIT, THOSE ARE
HORRIFYING.
AND FOUNDING CAUCASIAN FATHERS
IS A HELL OF A PHRASE.
BECAUSE IT EITHER COMES FROM THE
MOUTH OF A RACIST, OR SOMEONE
WITH STRONG OPINIONS ON THE
CASTING DECISIONS IN "HAMILTON",
BECAUSE THEY ARE RACIST.
REUTERS ACTUALLY IDENTIFIED MORE
THAN 900 THREATS MADE AGAINST
ELECTION ADMINISTRATORS SINCE
THE LAST ELECTION.
SO IT'S NO WONDER SO MANY
QUALIFIED PEOPLE ARE LEAVING.
AND THEIR REPLACEMENTS ARE
SOMETIMES TROUBLING.
TAKE NYE COUNTY, NEVADA, WHERE
THEIR TOP COUNTY ELECTION
OFFICIAL WAS REPLACED BY THIS
GUY, MARK KAMPF, WHO'S NOT ONLY
SAID HE BELIEVES TRUMP WON THE
2020 ELECTION, HE'S ALSO
PROMOTED "2000 MULES", AND HAS
AMPLIFIED SOME OF THE BASELESS
HYSTERIA AROUND DOMINION VOTING
MACHINES.
AND LOOK -- WE'VE ADDRESSED
VOTING MACHINES BEFORE ON THIS
SHOW.
THEY DO HAVE SOME
VULNERABILITIES.
BUT IMPORTANTLY, THOSE
VULNERABILITIES CAN BE
COUNTERACTED BY HAVING A
PHYSICAL PAPER TRAIL, AND DOING
RISK-LIMITING AUDITS AFTER THE
FACT.
ALSO THERE'S NO PROOF THAT ANY
MACHINES HAVE EVER BEEN
COMPROMISED IN A U.S. ELECTION.
BUT KAMPF DEFENDS ELECTION
DENIERS -- AND WON'T BUDGE ON IT
WHEN PRESSED.
>> IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THE
SYSTEM WAS LEGITIMATE IN 2020
AND CREATED AN ERROR WHERE
30,000-PLUS VOTES WERE NOT
COUNTED IN THE STATE CORRECTLY,
ISN'T THAT PROBLEMATIC?
>> I DON'T SEE AS BEING
PROBLEMATIC AT ALL, BECAUSE I'M
TRYING TO INCREASE VOTER
CONFIDENCE IN THE ELECTION.
>> IN THE ELECTION SPACE, THE
MACHINES THAT COUNT GO THROUGH
MULTIPLE LAYERS OF SECURITY.
THEY ARE NOT CONNECTED TO THE
INTERNET.
AND THIS IS REGULATED THROUGHOUT
THE COUNTRY.
>> THAT'S-THAT'S A PERSPECTIVE.
THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE-AGAIN,
THE VOTERS IN THIS COUNTY DON'T
BELIEVE THAT.
AND WHETHER IT'S TRUE OR NOT,
THEIR PERCEPTION IS THEIR
REALITY.
>> John: WOW.
WHETHER IT'S TRUE OR NOT, THEIR
PERCEPTION IS THEIR REALITY.
I GOTTA SAY, THAT'S A RISKY
STANCE FOR A GUY WHOSE NAME IS
ALMOST MEIN KAMPF.
AGAIN, IT'S LITERALLY NOT, BUT
I'VE SEEN HIS NAME WRITTEN DOWN
HUNDREDS OF TIMES WHILE WORKING
ON THIS PIECE AND EVERY TIME, MY
BRAIN AUTOCORRECTS IT TO MEIN
KAMPF AND, EVENTUALLY, MY
PERCEPTION WILL BECOME REALITY.
I'M JUST SAYING, IF MY LAST NAME
WERE KAMPF, I DEFINITELY
WOULDN'T GIVE MY BABY A FOUR
LETTER NAME THAT STARTS WITH AN
M.
IT'D BE LIKE MEETING SOMEONE
NAMED EARL HARBOR.
IT FEELS LIKE THEIR PARENTS WENT
OUT OF THEIR WAY TO FUCK WITH
THEM AND ALL OF US.
KAMPF HAS SUGGESTED THAT ALL
BALLOTS SHOULD NOW BE
HAND-COUNTED.
BUT EXPERTS WILL TELL YOU THAT,
WHILE HAND COUNTING IS AN
IMPORTANT TOOL IN RECOUNTS AND
AUDITS, AS A WAY OF VERIFYING
THE MACHINE COUNT, TALLYING
ENTIRE ELECTIONS BY HAND WOULD
CAUSE CHAOS AND MAKE RESULTS
LESS ACCURATE, NOT MORE.
AND SURE ENOUGH, EARLY VOTING IN
THAT COUNTY HAS BEEN A
SPECTACULAR MESS, WITH THE A.P.
PEOPLE SPENDING ABOUT THREE
HOURS EACH COUNTING 50 BALLOTS,
WITH MISMATCHED TALLIES LEADING
TO RECOUNTS, AND OCCASIONALLY
MORE RECOUNTS, AND ONE VOLUNTEER
LAMENTING, "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S
TAKING TWO HOURS TO GET THROUGH
25 BALLOTS."
YEAH -- IF ONLY THERE WAS A
MACHINE THAT COULD HELP YOU GUYS
WITH THAT.
AND THAT'S JUST ONE ELECTION
DENIER AT A LOW LEVEL WREAKING
HAVOC.
WE COULD BE IN FOR A LOT WORSE.
ARIZONA, A STATE BIDEN WON BY AN
EXTREMELY NARROW MARGIN, BUT
THANKS TO THEIR THEN-GOVERNOR
DOING ONE OF THE MOST BRUTAL
CALL-SCREENINGS OF ALL TIME,
THINGS PROCEEDED SMOOTHLY.
BUT HE'S ON HIS WAY OUT NOW, AND
THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE TO
REPLACE HIM IS RUNNING ADS LIKE
THIS.
>> HI, ARIZONA, I'M KARI LAKE,
THE TRUMP-ENDORSED CANDIDATE FOR
GOVERNOR.
IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS AD RIGHT
NOW, IT MEANS YOU'RE IN THE
MIDDLE OF WATCHING A FAKE NEWS
PROGRAM.
YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOW IT'S FAKE?
BECAUSE THEY WON'T EVEN COVER
THE BIGGEST STORY OUT THERE, THE
RIGGED ELECTION OF 2020.
>> John: OKAY, EXCEPT EVERY BIT
OF THAT IS WRONG.
THE ELECTION WASN'T RIGGED, AND
THE NEWS DID COVER BOTH THE
RECOUNTS AND THE LAWSUITS.
PLUS, IF YOU JUST SAW THAT AD
FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THIS SHOW,
YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT WATCHING IT
ON A FAKE NEWS PROGRAM, YOU'RE
WATCHING IT BECAUSE YOU LEFT THE
TV ON AFTER WHITE LOTUS.
THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT
NOW!
AND THAT AD -- WHICH INCLUDES
FOOTAGE FROM "2000 MULES BY THE
WAY -- IS ACTUALLY TAME COMPARED
TO SOME OF THE OTHER THINGS
LAKE'S SAID.
BECAUSE SHE'S CALLED FOR THE
IMPRISONMENT OF THE CURRENT
SECRETARY OF STATE, AND SAID
THAT, IF SHE DIDN'T WIN HER
PRIMARY, IT'D BE BECAUSE
"THERE'S SOME CHEATING GOING
ON."
AND THEN AFTER WINNING IT IT'S
BECAUSE HER SUPPORTERS SIMPLY
"OUT-VOTED THE FRAUD."
WHICH IS BASICALLY, "IF I LOSE
IT'S RIGGED, IF I WIN IT'S
FINE."
MEANING SHE'S APPROACHING
ELECTIONS WITH THE SAME
OBJECTIVITY AND NUANCE OF A
FIVE-YEAR-OLD INVENTING A GAME
IN REAL TIME.
"THE RULES ARE SIMPLE; WHOEVER
HAS THE MOST TOKENS WINS, UNLESS
YOU HAVE THE MOST TOKENS, THEN
IT'S WHO CAN HOLD THEIR BREATH
THE LONGEST, UNLESS YOU CAN,
THEN IT'S A JUMPING CONTEST."
BUT IT GETS WORSE FOR ARIZONA,
BECAUSE THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE
FOR SECRETARY OF STATE IS MARK
FINCHEM -- WHO, AS YOU CAN SEE,
WAKES UP EVERY DAY TO COSPLAY AS
A COWBOY ACCOUNTANT.
AND HE SEEMS PRETTY UNLIKELY TO
WILLINGLY CERTIFY A DEMOCRATIC
WIN IN HIS STATE, GIVEN THAT
HE'S SAID THIS.
>> WOULD YOU EVER ACCEPT THAT A
DEMOCRAT COULD WIN ARIZONA, OR
WOULD YOU JUST NOT THINK THAT'S
POSSIBLE?
>> I HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING
THAT'S POSSIBLE.
EVERYWHERE I GO, THE VAST
MAJORITY OF PEOPLE STILL SHOW
SUPPORT FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP.
>> BUT THAT MIGHT JUST BE
BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO PLACES
WHERE THERE ARE SUPPORTERS OF
DONALD TRUMP.
IS THERE ANY CHANCE A DEMOCRATIC
CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT CAN WIN
ARIZONA IN 2024?
>> NO, NO, NO.
>> John: I GENUINELY DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S MORE ANNOYING THERE, THE
FACT THAT HE ANSWERED A
LEGITIMATE QUESTION WITH A PROP,
OR THAT HE APPARENTLY TELLS
PEOPLE NO SO OFTEN HE NEEDED A
SPECIAL BUTTON FOR IT.
ALTHOUGH BETWEEN THAT, HIS
TALKING TRUMP DOLL AND HIS
NOVELTY DESK SIGN, IT'S SLIGHTLY
HEARTWARMING TO KNOW THAT A
SPENCER'S GIFTS IN ARIZONA IS
STAYING AFLOAT THANKS TO THE
COMPULSIVE PURCHASES OF ONE
SUPREMELY WEIRD INDIVIDUAL.
BUT THE THING IS, QUIET EARP
OVER THERE HAS OPENLY TOLD
SUPPORTERS IN A FUNDRAISING
EMAIL THAT, IF HE HAD BEEN IN
POWER IN 2020, "WE WOULD HAVE
WON.
PLAIN AND SIMPLE.'"
AND IN A DEBATE, EVEN
BRAINSTORMED ONE SCENARIO OF HOW
THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED.
>> KNOWING WHAT WE KNOW TODAY,
THERE ARE CERTAIN COUNTIES THAT
SHOULD HAVE BEEN SET ASIDE AS
IRREDEEMABLY COMPROMISED.
MARICOPA COUNTY WAS ONE OF THEM.
YUMA COUNTY WAS ONE OF THEM.
WE HAVE SO MANY VOTES OUTSIDE OF
THE LAW.
THAT IT BEGS THE QUESTION, WHAT
DO WE DO WITH AN ELECTION WHERE
WE HAVE VOTES THAT ARE IN THE
STREAM BUT SHOULD NOT BE
COUNTED?
IF YOU CAN'T FIND THE INDIVIDUAL
WHO IS ENGAGED IN THAT BEHAVIOR,
PERHAPS THAT COUNTY HAS HAD A
DEFECTIVE ELECTION.
>> John: YEAH -- HE JUST LAID
HIS PLAN OUT.
STEP ONE: IDENTIFY TWO LARGE
COUNTIES WHICH, IF REMOVED FROM
THE COUNT, WOULD HAND THE
ELECTION TO TRUMP.
STEP TWO: REMOVE THEM FROM THE
COUNT.
NOW, IS THAT A CONSPIRACY TO
STEAL THE ELECTION?
WELL, AS WE NOW KNOW, THERE ARE
NO CONSPIRACIES, BUT THERE ARE
ALSO NO COINCIDENCES, IN THE
FAMOUS WORDS OF ONE STEPHEN
KEVIN BANNON.
AND HERE'S THE THING: ANY ONE OF
THE PEOPLE YOU'VE SEEN SO FAR
WOULD BE BAD IN THE WAKE OF AN
ELECTION, BUT IN COMBINATION,
THINGS COULD GET "ROUGH."
BECAUSE THERE "ARE PROTECTIONS
AGAINST ONE ROGUE OFFICIAL
REFUSING TO SIGN OFF ON AN
ELECTION.
THEY COULD BE SUED, AND IF THEY
REFUSE, THEY COULD BE HELD IN
CONTEMPT OF COURT.
BUT EXPERTS WARN THAT THE
ABILITY OF A GOVERNOR OR
SECRETARY OF STATE TO REJECT
CERTIFICATION ARE SIGNIFICANTLY
ENHANCED IF OTHERS UP AND DOWN
THE CHAIN ARE OF A SIMILAR MIND.
AND TO UNDERSTAND A POTENTIAL
WORST-CASE SCENARIO, LET'S PUT
SOME OF THE PEOPLE YOU'VE SEEN
TONIGHT INTO A CHAIN.
LET'S START WITH PARTISAN POLL
WORKERS, INSPIRED BY STEVE
BANNON, DECIDING THEY'VE SEEN
SOMETHING FISHY, AND CALLING
9-1-1.
THEY THEN KICK THEIR CLAIMS UP
TO A COUNTY CLERK LIKE THIS GUY
-- WHO'S MAYBE WILLING TO
AMPLIFY A PERCEPTION THAT'S NOT
A REALITY.
THAT RAISES ENOUGH OF A STINK
THAT PEOPLE AT THE COUNTY BOARD
OF CANVASSERS OR THE STATE BOARD
REFUSE TO SIGN OFF ON THE
RESULTS.
AND THEN, THE SECRETARY OF STATE
TAKES THEIR SIDE -- REFUSING TO
CERTIFY THE RESULTS, OR EVEN
ARGUING THAT THE RESULTS FROM
CERTAIN COUNTIES ARE SO FLAWED
THAT THE COUNTY'S ELECTION HAS
"FAILED", AND THEREFORE CAN NOT
BE COUNTED.
IN THAT SCENARIO, EXPERTS SAY, A
REPUBLICAN STATE LEGISLATURE
COULD POINT TO SUPPOSED
"IRREGULARITIES IN THE CONDUCT
OF THE ELECTION, AND CHOOSE
THEIR OWN SLATE OF ELECTORS, TO
DELIVER A DIFFERENT RESULT.
AND AT THIS POINT, THE LAW IS A
LITTLE FUZZY ON WHAT COULD
HAPPEN NEXT.
BECAUSE, UNDER THE ELECTORAL
COUNT ACT OF 1887, IF THE STATE
SENDS TWO RIVAL SLATES OF
ELECTORS AND THE HOUSE AND
SENATE DISAGREE ON WHICH ONE IS
VALID, THE ONES SENT BY THE
STATE'S GOVERNOR GETS COUNTED.
WHICH COULD BE THIS PERSON.
NOW, THERE WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY BE
LAWSUITS, AND MAYBE THE SUPREME
COURT WOULD STEP IN, BUT ALSO
Y'KNOW, SEEING AS ONE OF THE
JUSTICES HAS A WIFE WHO WAS PART
OF THE LAST ATTEMPTED COUP,
MAYBE NOT.
AND I KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS
DRAMATIC, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE
TOO ALARMIST.
I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND LIKE
CHICKEN LITTLE HERE.
I MEAN, I DON'T MEAN TO LOOK
LIKE HIM EITHER, BUT SOME THINGS
ARE OUT OF OUR HANDS.
BECAUSE THE ODDS OF KARI LAKE
UNILATERALLY PICKING OUR NEXT
PRESIDENT ARE THANKFULLY SLIM.
BUT THE ODDS OF HER, AND OTHERS
LIKE HER, BEING ABLE TO CREATE A
COMPLETE MESS, ARE SIGNIFICANTLY
HIGHER.
BECAUSE EVERYTHING WE'VE TALKED
ABOUT TONIGHT HAS THE CAPACITY
TO OVERWHELM OUR SYSTEM, MAKING
IT HARDER TO CERTIFY ELECTIONS
QUICKLY, LEADING TO CONFUSION,
WHICH SOWS DOUBT IN THE PROCESS,
WHICH IN TURN CAUSES ABSOLUTE
CHAOS.
WHICH IS WORRYING, GIVEN THAT
WE'VE ALL SEEN WHAT CONFUSED BUT
MOTIVATED PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF
DOING WHEN THEY THINK THE
PROCESS IS BROKEN.
AND WE MAY NOT HAVE TO WAIT
UNTIL 2024 TO SEE THAT CHAOS
UNFOLD, AS THE MIDTERMS
THEMSELVES ARE TURNING INTO A
CLUSTERFUCK.
VIGILANTES ARE ALREADY TURNING
UP AS UNOFFICIAL POLL WATCHERS
AT VOTING DROP BOXES.
MEANWHILE, SOME VERY PROMINENT
VOICES ON THE RIGHT HAVE BEEN
PRIMING PEOPLE TO CONTEST ANY
RESULT ON TUESDAY THAT'S NOT A
REPUBLICAN WIN.
>> THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAS SUCH
CONTEMPT FOR VOTERS AND FOR
DEMOCRACY ITSELF AND SO MUCH
CONFIDENCE IN ITS OWNERSHIP OF
THE MEDIA AND OF BIG TECH THAT
IT NO LONGER HAS TO TRY TO WIN
YOUR VOTES.
THEY CAN EVEN RUN MENTALLY
DEFECTIVE CANDIDATES WHO CAN
BARELY SPEAK AND NOT ONLY EXPECT
THEM TO WIN BUT EXPECT YOU TO
ACCEPT THE OUTCOME, NO MATTER
HOW TRANSPARENTLY ABSURD IT IS.
>> John: I GET THAT
TUCKER CARLSON IS BASICALLY
COCOMELON FOR BIGOTS, BUT THAT'S
GROSS EVEN FOR HIM.
FROM CALLING A STROKE VICTIM
MENTALLY DEFECTIVE, TO PUTTING
"WIN" IN HEAVY QUOTATION MARKS
-- AND FOR THE RECORD, ONE OF
THE BIG CLUES THAT THESE
CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE BULLSHIT
IS THAT SO MANY OF THEM ARE
PREDICATED ON THE BELIEF THAT
THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY IS
WELL-ORGANIZED.
WHO ON EARTH IS STUPID ENOUGH TO
BUY THAT BULLSHIT?
SO: WHAT CAN WE DO HERE?
WELL, THERE ARE SOME OBVIOUS
STEPS THAT WE COULD TAKE.
ON THE FEDERAL LEVEL, WE HAVE TO
FIX THE ELECTORAL COUNT ACT --
THE LAW WHOSE VAGUENESS ALLOWS
FOR A LOT OF THE FUCKERY I'VE
JUST DESCRIBED.
BOTH THE HOUSE AND THE SENATE
ACTUALLY HAVE BILLS THAT HAVE
BIPARTISAN SUPPORT AND WOULD,
AMONG OTHER THINGS, CLOSE THE
FAILED ELECTION LOOPHOLE THAT
MIGHT ALLOW A PARTISAN GOVERNOR
OR STATE LEGISLATURE TO SEND
WHATEVER ELECTORS THEY CHOOSE.
>> MITCH McCONNELL'S SUPPORTED
THE SENATE VERSION, SO IT
ACTUALLY MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE TO
PASS.
THAT'S THE ONE PIECE OF GOOD
NEWS IN THIS ENTIRE PIECE, SO I
SUGGEST YOU SAVOR IT.
BUT THAT'S CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH.
LONG TERM, WE STILL NEED
COMPREHENSIVE VOTING RIGHTS
REFORM.
WHICH IS SOMETHING WE NEED TO
PRIORITIZE AND FIGHT FOR.
BUT THE FIRST STEP, AND I KNOW
THIS IS GOING TO BE INFURIATING
TO HEAR, IS FOR YOU TO VOTE.
WE'VE TALKED A LOT ABOUT HOW
PART OF THE REASON BIDEN'S
VICTORY WASN'T STOLEN FROM HIM
WAS THANKS TO THE DILIGENT WORK
OF A FEW PEOPLE IN KEY
POSITIONS.
BUT DON'T FORGET THE FIRST PART
OF WHY THAT WAS POSSIBLE -- A
LOT OF PEOPLE FUCKING VOTED.
AND I GET HOW LUDICROUS IT
SOUNDS FOR SOMEONE TO SAY "FIX
THE SIGNIFICANT ROADBLOCKS
KEEPING YOUR VOTE FROM COUNTING,
BY VOTING."
I HEAR IT, I PROMISE I DO.
PARTICULARLY IF YOU'RE A MEMBER
OF ONE OF THE MANY COMMUNITIES
-- LIKE BLACK VOTERS, THE
DISABLED, THE FORMERLY
INCARCERATED, AND LOW-INCOME
COMMUNITIES -- WHO'VE LONG BEEN
SOUNDING THE ALARM ABOUT THIS
SHIT.
AND VOTING'S NOT GOING TO BE
ENOUGH ON ITS OWN.
AT EVERY LEVEL OF THE PROCESS,
WE NEED PEOPLE TO SHOW THE SAME
LEVEL OF ENTHUSIASM FOR
PRESERVING OUR DEMOCRACY THAT
OTHERS ARE DEMONSTRATING FOR
DISMANTLING IT.
AND I'M NOT SAYING IT'S GOING TO
BE EASY TO MATCH THE ENERGY OF
PEOPLE FUELED BY BULLSHIT
DOCUMENTARIES, FLAT-OUT LIES,
AND THE OCCASIONAL EXPLODING
TRASHCAN.
BUT IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO
TRY.
AND TO THAT END, WE HAVE A
MESSAGE THAT WE'D LIKE YOU TO
HEAR.
♪ ♪
>> HEY, NICK OFFERMAN HERE.
ACTOR, AUTHOR, WOODWORKER, AND A
MAN WHO CAN ACTUALLY PULL OFF A
SHORT SLEEVE POLO SHIRT WITHOUT
LOOKING LIKE MY MOMMY PICKED IT
OUT FOR ME.
AND THIS IS A TRASH CAN.
I'VE LABELED IT TRASH CAN
BECAUSE IT IS A TRASH CAN.
I ACTUALLY LABELED IT TWICE SO
THERE WON'T BE ANY MIXUPS BUT
OBVIOUSLY THAT'S UNNECESSARY
BECAUSE WE ARE ALL ADULTS WHO DO
KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A
TRASH CAN AND A GODDAMN DAMN
VOTING MACHINE.
REPUBLICAN EXTREMISTS HAVE BEEN
RUNNING THEIR DRY MOUTHS
CLAIMING ANY ELECTION IN WHICH
THEY RECEIVE LESS VOTES IN THE
OPPOSITION MUST BE RIGGED TO.
I'VE GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU.
ACTUAL PATRIOTS ARE SICK AND
TIRED OF SHAMELESS OPPORTUNISTIC
CHARLATANS WHO INVENT DANGEROUS
CONSPIRACIES, PEDDLED MENDACIOUS
PROPAGANDA, AND WORSE SENSOR
GOOD, GOOD DOGS.
IF YOU ARE AFRAID TO SHOW A
DOG'S FACE, BY GOD I'M NOT.
THERE.
WHO'S A GOOD BOY?
YOU CAN'T STOP US FROM SHOWING
DOGS JUST LIKE YOU CAN'T STOP US
FROM VOTING.
WE ARE GOING TO DO IT NOT
BECAUSE IT'S FUN, BECAUSE IT'S
NOT REALLY FUN, BUT BECAUSE IT'S
THE RIGHT THING TO DO, AMERICA.
AND GUESS WHAT?
WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT ONE FUCK
A LOT BETTER THAN YOU WHILE WE
DO IT.
ONE SHOT, CUTS.
[THE EXPLOSION]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
VOTE!
THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANKS FOR
WATCHING -- SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪
SWEET BOY.
YOU BEAUTIFUL GUY.