1
00:00:03,083 --> 00:00:04,550
Magic Kingdom, Epcot,
2
00:00:04,552 --> 00:00:06,351
the Monorail... where to start?
3
00:00:06,353 --> 00:00:09,255
I can't wait to feel Gaston's biceps.
4
00:00:09,257 --> 00:00:11,400
I can't believe we've lived
in Orlando for six years
5
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:12,568
and never been to Disney.
6
00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:14,819
Well, they should've
allowed Orlando residents
7
00:00:14,821 --> 00:00:16,538
a discount before today.
8
00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:17,706
This is the best day ever.
9
00:00:17,708 --> 00:00:19,818
I'm gonna ride Space
Mountain till I puke.
10
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,410
Eddie, hit us with some tunage
11
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,368
to commemorate the happiest
moment of our lives.
12
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:25,157
On it.
13
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,293
"Hakuna Matata!"
14
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,295
What a wonderful phrase.
15
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,363
Hakuna Matata!
16
00:00:33,365 --> 00:00:36,200
♪ Ain't no passing craze ♪
17
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:42,339
♪ It means no worries for
the rest of your days ♪
18
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:47,745
♪ It's our problem-free philosophy ♪
19
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,714
♪ Hakuna Matata ♪
20
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:53,017
Nooooooo!
21
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,842
It's our fault.
22
00:00:54,844 --> 00:00:56,733
We were too happy.
23
00:00:56,735 --> 00:00:59,058
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
24
00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:16,351
That tow truck driver did not like you.
25
00:01:16,353 --> 00:01:18,954
We could've had a
nice, silent drive back,
26
00:01:18,956 --> 00:01:22,190
but no, you had to ask that
guy how he got into towing.
27
00:01:22,192 --> 00:01:23,324
I wanted to butter him up
28
00:01:23,326 --> 00:01:25,260
before asking if he
ever towed a celebrity.
29
00:01:25,262 --> 00:01:27,328
Oh, remind me, who did he tow?
30
00:01:28,365 --> 00:01:29,731
Kathy Griffin.
31
00:01:29,733 --> 00:01:31,867
Hey. Good news...
32
00:01:31,869 --> 00:01:34,235
I finally found the wrench
I needed to fix your van.
33
00:01:34,237 --> 00:01:35,938
Oh, great!
34
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:38,874
See, Louis, I told you
it's not a big deal.
35
00:01:38,876 --> 00:01:40,609
Ah, I should've told
you the bad news first.
36
00:01:40,611 --> 00:01:42,210
The wrench didn't do so much.
37
00:01:42,212 --> 00:01:43,612
You need to take her to a mechanic.
38
00:01:43,614 --> 00:01:45,781
This job is beyond my capability.
39
00:01:45,783 --> 00:01:47,282
It took you six hours
40
00:01:47,284 --> 00:01:49,284
to determine it's
beyond your capability?
41
00:01:49,286 --> 00:01:51,852
You had mice in your air filter.
42
00:01:51,854 --> 00:01:53,721
I saw a live birth.
43
00:01:53,723 --> 00:01:55,056
20 babies.
44
00:01:55,058 --> 00:01:57,458
Fine, we'll have it towed
to the mechanic tomorrow.
45
00:01:57,460 --> 00:02:00,027
Eddie can use the Cattlecar
to drive the boys around.
46
00:02:00,029 --> 00:02:02,362
Man, I can't believe the
van is so out of shape.
47
00:02:02,364 --> 00:02:04,599
Maybe if you didn't
constantly ride her brakes
48
00:02:04,601 --> 00:02:06,200
and just let the old gal dance...
49
00:02:06,202 --> 00:02:08,803
Me?! You're the one who
comes to a complete stop
50
00:02:08,805 --> 00:02:10,095
at every intersection.
51
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,206
Why don't you just roll
through like a normal person?
52
00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:15,042
That's why I love the
ocean. No stop signs.
53
00:02:15,044 --> 00:02:18,212
You try to put one up, it
sinks right to the bottom.
54
00:02:18,214 --> 00:02:20,214
Can't you just put it on a buoy?
55
00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:21,916
Oh, you have a three-mile-long anchor
56
00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:23,618
to keep that buoy in place, wise-ass?
57
00:02:25,309 --> 00:02:28,255
We have to clean out the van
before the tow truck arrives.
58
00:02:28,257 --> 00:02:29,295
They steal.
59
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,271
Oh, look, a receipt
60
00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:38,599
from that time we got
Sheila washed professionally.
61
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:41,668
Oh, I saved that in case I
wanted to return the car wash.
62
00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:44,004
Remember? It was right
after you tased me.
63
00:02:45,907 --> 00:02:48,442
Richard Ramirez, Night Stalker!
64
00:02:49,478 --> 00:02:50,944
What a memory.
65
00:02:50,946 --> 00:02:52,646
Mm. It's trash.
66
00:02:52,648 --> 00:02:54,381
That's fine. I have another keepsake.
67
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,949
The taser threw off my heartbeat.
68
00:02:55,951 --> 00:02:57,851
It skips a thump-thump
every now and then.
69
00:02:57,853 --> 00:02:59,153
Keep cleaning.
70
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,226
Whoa. A fry.
71
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,061
- It's hard as a rock.
- Dibs.
72
00:03:08,998 --> 00:03:10,497
Oh! My old earpiece! Wow.
73
00:03:10,499 --> 00:03:12,599
I lost this on the
trip down here from D.C.
74
00:03:12,601 --> 00:03:15,000
♪ I saw the sign ♪
75
00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:18,337
♪ And it opened up my
eyes, I saw the sign ♪
76
00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:19,705
- ♪ Life is dema... ♪
- Ugh, Dad, turn off the music!
77
00:03:19,707 --> 00:03:21,140
Six years later, and we're still
78
00:03:21,142 --> 00:03:22,642
a bunch of dorks singing in a van.
79
00:03:22,644 --> 00:03:24,544
Check it out. My old swim trunks!
80
00:03:24,546 --> 00:03:26,879
Oh, from when we tried to
take the van for a joyride.
81
00:03:26,881 --> 00:03:27,980
Wait!
82
00:03:27,982 --> 00:03:29,682
We need our bathing
suits for Wet 'n Wild!
83
00:03:29,684 --> 00:03:31,517
My swimmies!
84
00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:41,661
We did not make it far.
85
00:03:41,663 --> 00:03:43,196
What's this map?
86
00:03:43,198 --> 00:03:44,797
Let me see that bad boy.
87
00:03:44,799 --> 00:03:48,767
I drew this map after we
buried that time capsule in D.C.
88
00:03:48,769 --> 00:03:50,483
I wonder if it's still there.
89
00:03:50,485 --> 00:03:52,238
A map? Possible treasure?
90
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,373
It's like "The Goonies",
but with three Asian boys!
91
00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:57,198
- Three inoffensive Asian boys.
- Hmm.
92
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,040
I can't even remember what
we put in that time capsule.
93
00:04:00,042 --> 00:04:01,379
Hmm. I was 10.
94
00:04:01,381 --> 00:04:02,746
But if I know young Eddie,
95
00:04:02,748 --> 00:04:04,816
that little scamp probably
put a bag of farts in there.
96
00:04:04,818 --> 00:04:07,833
How you got a 1500 on
your SATs, I'll never know.
97
00:04:07,835 --> 00:04:09,877
Yeah. To be honest, I never
thought you'd get into college.
98
00:04:09,879 --> 00:04:11,746
Yeah, we just assumed
you'd live at home forever.
99
00:04:11,748 --> 00:04:12,824
Me too.
100
00:04:12,826 --> 00:04:14,626
Turns out my brain had other plans.
101
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:17,061
It's gonna be weird when it's
not the three of us anymore.
102
00:04:17,063 --> 00:04:19,097
Yeah. It just won't be the same.
103
00:04:21,306 --> 00:04:22,601
Poor Sheila.
104
00:04:22,603 --> 00:04:24,436
We bought this van on our wedding night.
105
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,170
I taught Eddie how to drive in it.
106
00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:27,739
I remember things, too, Louis.
107
00:04:27,741 --> 00:04:30,775
It's just we've been through
so much with this van.
108
00:04:30,777 --> 00:04:31,876
So many memories.
109
00:04:31,878 --> 00:04:34,546
Yes. Here's a new memory...
110
00:04:34,548 --> 00:04:36,881
I'm taking this car down to
Kareem's. You stay here.
111
00:04:36,883 --> 00:04:38,282
They always talk you
112
00:04:38,284 --> 00:04:41,585
into buying unnecessary upgrades
and nonsensical trinkets.
113
00:04:41,587 --> 00:04:45,433
I'm sure I have no idea what you mean.
114
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:46,490
Oh.
115
00:04:46,492 --> 00:04:47,658
So I always know
116
00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:49,380
where to put my hands
on the steering wheel.
117
00:04:53,566 --> 00:04:55,166
Ah.
118
00:04:55,168 --> 00:04:57,151
Is that suit really necessary?
119
00:04:57,153 --> 00:04:59,036
Hey, I respect our piano teacher.
120
00:04:59,038 --> 00:05:01,038
The first song he taught
us was "Chopsticks".
121
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,207
Does that not bother you?
Because it bothers me.
122
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:04,508
Well, I'm glad you guys
123
00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:06,144
have mixed feelings
on this piano teacher
124
00:05:06,146 --> 00:05:08,045
because... you're not going.
125
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:09,313
But we're finally gonna find out
126
00:05:09,315 --> 00:05:10,648
what that middle pedal does today!
127
00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:12,049
Well, this pedal hits the gas,
128
00:05:12,051 --> 00:05:13,650
and we're riding it all the way to D.C.
129
00:05:13,652 --> 00:05:14,652
- What?!
- What?!
130
00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:16,754
We're finally doing that
Huang boys road trip.
131
00:05:16,756 --> 00:05:18,588
And this time, there's no stopping us.
132
00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:20,924
Oh, we're way below E.
133
00:05:20,926 --> 00:05:22,592
Did you guys bring your wallet?
134
00:05:22,594 --> 00:05:24,264
Because typically, the
driver doesn't pay for gas,
135
00:05:24,266 --> 00:05:25,896
so...
136
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:30,066
This close call with Sheila's
really got me thinking
137
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:31,290
how much I take her for granted.
138
00:05:31,292 --> 00:05:34,237
As soon as we get her back, I'm
gonna change her oil every day.
139
00:05:34,239 --> 00:05:36,706
You know who burns a lot of oil?
140
00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,141
Dale Earnhardt.
141
00:05:38,143 --> 00:05:39,943
What a racist.
142
00:05:39,945 --> 00:05:41,377
You mean, "racer"?
143
00:05:41,379 --> 00:05:43,346
Ma, you gotta go back to using Mandarin.
144
00:05:43,348 --> 00:05:44,647
You're gonna get in trouble.
145
00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:48,318
Hey! How's the van doing?
146
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,753
Great. I sold it.
147
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,456
You sold Sheila?!
148
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,837
It needed too much work
149
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:00,960
and the mechanic at
Kareem's offered to buy it.
150
00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:02,763
It was the pragmatic solution.
151
00:06:02,765 --> 00:06:04,331
I can't believe you
made such a big decision
152
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:05,700
without consulting me!
153
00:06:05,702 --> 00:06:09,303
Says the guy who purchased
multiple vehicles without me...
154
00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:12,335
the Accord, the riding lawn
mower, the 40-foot RV...
155
00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:14,102
It was 35, but point taken.
156
00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:15,171
And this is different.
157
00:06:15,173 --> 00:06:17,039
She was practically a
member of our family.
158
00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:18,641
There are days I wish
she lived in the garage
159
00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:19,675
instead of Grandma.
160
00:06:19,677 --> 00:06:21,410
Every day I wish that.
161
00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:23,312
But Louis, this is just a hunk of metal.
162
00:06:23,314 --> 00:06:25,349
Get over it.
163
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:29,087
Robo-Cop was just a hunk of
metal, and he saved a town!
164
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,689
I assume. Never saw it.
165
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,881
Okay, the Cattlecar's got a full tank,
166
00:06:35,883 --> 00:06:38,396
and I got the next three
meals taken care of...
167
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,552
bag o' hot dogs.
168
00:06:39,554 --> 00:06:42,265
- I'm vegan. I don't eat hot dogs.
- Me neither.
169
00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:44,434
After I read "mechanically
separated" on the label.
170
00:06:44,436 --> 00:06:45,758
It doesn't matter.
171
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,371
- We're not going on a road trip to D.C.
- Yes, you are!
172
00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:49,839
You guys need to learn to live a little.
173
00:06:49,841 --> 00:06:51,575
I'm gonna be gone soon.
There's gonna be nobody around
174
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,942
to teach you guys how to have fun.
175
00:06:52,944 --> 00:06:55,334
Fun? You're about to
drive us 1,200 miles
176
00:06:55,336 --> 00:06:56,833
with no plan, no luggage,
177
00:06:56,835 --> 00:06:58,615
and a bagful of gas station hot dogs.
178
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,007
And I don't even have my night guard.
179
00:07:01,009 --> 00:07:03,886
Guys, we'll figure that out as
we go. That's the fun of it!
180
00:07:03,888 --> 00:07:05,811
Oh yeah, gonna be a real bounce house
181
00:07:05,813 --> 00:07:07,791
when Mom figures out we've
been missing for two days.
182
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:08,958
I've already got that covered.
183
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,027
I told Mom we're having
a sleepover at Walter's.
184
00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:13,296
As long as we're back tomorrow
by 8:00 p.m., we're good.
185
00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:15,298
Okay, what're you hiding?
186
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,634
Most Eddie adventures
are all about Eddie.
187
00:07:17,636 --> 00:07:18,935
Hence the name.
188
00:07:18,937 --> 00:07:21,303
Ed-ventures.
189
00:07:21,305 --> 00:07:23,118
Never mind. I'll trademark that later.
190
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,809
You guys are right.
I do want something...
191
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,943
I wanna find out what's
inside that time capsule.
192
00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:27,977
Don't you?
193
00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:29,912
- I'm a little intrigued.
- Yeah.
194
00:07:29,914 --> 00:07:32,015
Baseball cards, stamps, comic books.
195
00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:34,183
You guys were into a ton of nerd crap.
196
00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:35,818
Hell of a sales pitch, Eddie.
197
00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:39,122
Sorry, nerd... stuff.
198
00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:41,624
Point is, real people
are into that junk now.
199
00:07:41,626 --> 00:07:42,682
That's true.
200
00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:43,893
There could be something
in there worth money.
201
00:07:43,895 --> 00:07:46,395
Yes! And depending on
how deep we buried it,
202
00:07:46,397 --> 00:07:47,463
we could hit oil.
203
00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:51,233
Okay, we're in.
204
00:07:52,671 --> 00:07:53,936
You packed shovels, right?
205
00:07:53,938 --> 00:07:56,172
Sure.
206
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,344
- Ho, boss.
- Whoa.
207
00:08:03,346 --> 00:08:04,988
What's with the heavy cattle hands here?
208
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,982
- Things okay at home?
- It's Jessica.
209
00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:08,183
Ohh. Divorce?
210
00:08:08,185 --> 00:08:09,617
You did it, Lou.
211
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,619
Well, the first time
always feels the best.
212
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,855
Honestly, we all saw it coming.
213
00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:15,834
Mi futon es su futon.
214
00:08:15,836 --> 00:08:18,393
- Hector, it's happening!
- What? No!
215
00:08:18,395 --> 00:08:19,661
Our van's dead.
216
00:08:19,663 --> 00:08:21,371
Sheila?! She was family!
217
00:08:21,373 --> 00:08:22,530
How are you even at work right now?
218
00:08:22,532 --> 00:08:23,665
See? You get it.
219
00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:25,495
That van's been a part
of so many memories,
220
00:08:25,497 --> 00:08:26,868
and it's like Jessica doesn't even care.
221
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,136
We bought it on our wedding night.
222
00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:29,671
Yeah, when I said goodbye to my Jag,
223
00:08:29,673 --> 00:08:31,206
I didn't leave my house for a month.
224
00:08:31,208 --> 00:08:32,940
Couldn't even bear the
sight of another car.
225
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,009
Still can't.
226
00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:35,876
She always sweeps her
emotions under the rug,
227
00:08:35,878 --> 00:08:37,545
and that isn't a healthy way to grieve.
228
00:08:37,547 --> 00:08:38,613
Or clean.
229
00:08:38,615 --> 00:08:40,880
Whoa, Trent with the quick wit.
230
00:08:40,882 --> 00:08:42,004
Orange lightning.
231
00:08:42,006 --> 00:08:43,595
I've been trying to
pay better attention.
232
00:08:43,597 --> 00:08:45,886
- Well, it's working.
- I don't know, Lou.
233
00:08:45,888 --> 00:08:47,322
This doesn't make any sense to me.
234
00:08:47,324 --> 00:08:49,324
Maybe the car doesn't
mean that much to Jessica.
235
00:08:49,326 --> 00:08:51,009
Of course it means something to her.
236
00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:53,374
I have to help her learn
to process her feelings,
237
00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:55,210
get her to admit she's
sad about the van.
238
00:08:55,212 --> 00:08:57,969
If she doesn't, I'm worried
it'll explode out of her.
239
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,269
Like the alien in "Alien".
240
00:08:59,271 --> 00:09:01,238
Oof, I do not see scary movies anymore
241
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,641
ever since I did a pee-pee
during "The Exorcist".
242
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:10,815
♪ And the caravan is
painted red and white ♪
243
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,349
What are you doing?
244
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,684
Oh, listening to a little Van Morrison.
245
00:09:14,686 --> 00:09:17,053
Reading about Martin Van Buren.
246
00:09:17,055 --> 00:09:19,227
Eating some van-Illa ice cream.
247
00:09:19,229 --> 00:09:20,991
Just another normal day in Louis-ville.
248
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:23,292
Louis, you're not a multitasker.
249
00:09:23,294 --> 00:09:25,695
You're gonna give yourself a cold.
250
00:09:25,697 --> 00:09:27,831
♪ ... tells us of her ways ♪
251
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:30,600
♪ La, la, la-la ♪
252
00:09:30,602 --> 00:09:32,292
Hey! We just passed the sign
253
00:09:32,294 --> 00:09:33,770
for the world's biggest peanut.
254
00:09:33,772 --> 00:09:35,405
You guys always wanted
to see that, right?
255
00:09:35,407 --> 00:09:37,574
Peanut! Peanut!
256
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,977
Peanut! Peanut! Peanut! Peanut!
257
00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:44,681
♪ Turn up ♪
258
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,382
♪ Your radio ♪
259
00:09:48,352 --> 00:09:51,153
- ♪ And let me hear a song ♪
- Louis.
260
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:55,246
Why am I sleeping on an auto part?
261
00:09:55,248 --> 00:09:57,558
Oh, how'd that get
there? Poor little guy.
262
00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,460
Probably misses you and all
the memories you had together.
263
00:10:00,462 --> 00:10:04,098
♪ What is really wrong ♪
264
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,433
I know this is a controversial take,
265
00:10:06,435 --> 00:10:08,402
but I'm more of a moon guy.
266
00:10:08,404 --> 00:10:10,355
If this is a set-up to you mooning us,
267
00:10:10,357 --> 00:10:12,239
I'm not falling for it again.
268
00:10:12,241 --> 00:10:14,408
You guys are getting smarter.
269
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,090
You know what we never do anymore?
270
00:10:17,092 --> 00:10:19,315
Walk down memory lane.
271
00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:20,940
You know...
272
00:10:20,942 --> 00:10:24,551
... relive our wedding night,
when we bought the van?
273
00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:25,819
It was magical.
274
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:28,031
Oh, Louis.
275
00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:30,056
I've been thinking about the van, too.
276
00:10:30,058 --> 00:10:31,680
You have?
277
00:10:31,682 --> 00:10:33,405
Yes.
278
00:10:33,407 --> 00:10:35,696
We have to get rid of that poop-mobile.
279
00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:36,996
♪ La-la, la la ♪
280
00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:41,201
I think I might've put
on your tuxedo by mistake,
281
00:10:41,203 --> 00:10:42,502
because this is tight.
282
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:48,141
Well, we made it to D.C.
283
00:10:48,143 --> 00:10:49,233
With time to spare.
284
00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:50,957
And that includes the
three hours we wasted
285
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:53,395
before we realized you were
driving to Washington state.
286
00:10:53,397 --> 00:10:55,287
Hey, I didn't hear many complaints
287
00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:57,179
when you were dipping your
toes in the Chattahoochee.
288
00:10:57,181 --> 00:11:00,270
Guys, don't hate me, but I've
gotta quote Madonna here...
289
00:11:00,272 --> 00:11:02,430
this used to be our playground.
290
00:11:02,432 --> 00:11:04,088
I'll allow it.
291
00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,679
We used to love those swings.
292
00:11:05,681 --> 00:11:07,136
Hey, and the metal slide.
293
00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:09,528
- Eddie burned his butt on it that summer.
- Worth it.
294
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:11,464
I made 2 bucks off Grandma.
295
00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:13,599
Okay, now let's bust out
this map and get to digging.
296
00:11:16,314 --> 00:11:19,038
Ugh, those hot dogs are
starting to fight back.
297
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,274
So, if "X" marks the spot,
298
00:11:21,276 --> 00:11:22,579
why are there so many on here?
299
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:25,044
To throw people off the scent
in case someone finds our map.
300
00:11:25,046 --> 00:11:26,991
So, you have no idea
which "X" is the right one.
301
00:11:26,993 --> 00:11:28,091
This map is useless.
302
00:11:28,093 --> 00:11:30,126
Hey! Don't be mad at 10-year-old Eddie.
303
00:11:30,128 --> 00:11:31,294
That dude was the best.
304
00:11:33,264 --> 00:11:35,231
Guys, it's not the end of the world.
305
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:36,700
So we have to dig a few more holes.
306
00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:37,834
We'll do it together.
307
00:11:42,741 --> 00:11:44,508
Try over there by the tree.
308
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,878
I have an idea... why don't you
help us find the time capsule?
309
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,680
I can't. I keep throwing up.
310
00:11:50,682 --> 00:11:53,216
And half of me is shivering,
and half of me is sweating.
311
00:11:53,218 --> 00:11:54,784
I'm not a doctor, but I
think I might've picked up
312
00:11:54,786 --> 00:11:56,620
a waterborne parasite
in the Chattahooch'.
313
00:11:56,622 --> 00:11:58,154
Or maybe it was one of the two dozen
314
00:11:58,156 --> 00:11:59,588
gas station hot dogs that you ate.
315
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:00,823
I hope not.
316
00:12:00,825 --> 00:12:02,758
Last time I was taken
down by a pack of gas dogs,
317
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,192
I was out of commission for days.
318
00:12:04,194 --> 00:12:06,061
Last time? Why do you keep eating them?
319
00:12:06,063 --> 00:12:07,796
Why do they keep making them?
320
00:12:07,798 --> 00:12:09,197
If you can't drive us home in time,
321
00:12:09,199 --> 00:12:10,566
Mom's gonna find out and kill us.
322
00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:12,368
I-I-I think I can drive.
323
00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:15,571
I just can't sit, think,
or process moving objects.
324
00:12:15,573 --> 00:12:18,240
Of course this is happening.
This is so typical Eddie.
325
00:12:18,242 --> 00:12:20,509
Sorry for trying to
show you guys a fun time.
326
00:12:20,511 --> 00:12:22,044
This is fun to you?!
327
00:12:22,046 --> 00:12:23,901
You're doubled over
in the fetal position,
328
00:12:23,903 --> 00:12:26,081
we're digging holes, stressed
out about how to get home.
329
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,150
And I'm wearing a suit!
330
00:12:28,152 --> 00:12:29,852
You're the best-dressed
guy in this local park.
331
00:12:29,854 --> 00:12:31,020
What are you complaining about?
332
00:12:31,022 --> 00:12:32,421
You know what? Who cares.
333
00:12:32,423 --> 00:12:34,523
At least this is the last time
we're gonna have to do this.
334
00:12:34,525 --> 00:12:36,124
What's that supposed to mean?
335
00:12:36,126 --> 00:12:37,259
It means you'll be gone,
336
00:12:37,261 --> 00:12:39,061
and we won't have to
deal with your nonsense.
337
00:12:39,063 --> 00:12:40,887
Can't come soon enough for me.
338
00:12:40,889 --> 00:12:42,130
Aah.
339
00:12:42,132 --> 00:12:45,767
I'll be in the car. Windows down.
340
00:12:45,769 --> 00:12:47,635
God, I can't take Eddie anymore.
341
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,104
He's the worst.
342
00:12:52,876 --> 00:12:56,244
Hey, Louis, look.
Automatic sliding doors.
343
00:12:58,582 --> 00:13:01,283
It's not fast or practical,
but I must have it.
344
00:13:01,285 --> 00:13:03,017
But so expensive.
345
00:13:03,019 --> 00:13:05,554
I wonder if they have any used ones.
346
00:13:07,023 --> 00:13:08,822
Would ya lookie here!
347
00:13:08,824 --> 00:13:10,458
It's Sheila.
348
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:12,393
Would you like to say anything to her?
349
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:14,628
Louis, that's enough! It's just a car!
350
00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:16,051
Jessica, it's ridiculous
351
00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:18,065
that our van doesn't
mean anything to you.
352
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:22,002
We raised our family in this.
It's practically a part of us!
353
00:13:22,004 --> 00:13:23,604
Look at them.
354
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:27,541
Really? Nothing?
355
00:13:27,543 --> 00:13:29,310
Hey, I'm Calvin.
356
00:13:29,312 --> 00:13:30,677
Can I help put you in a van today?
357
00:13:31,747 --> 00:13:34,715
Wait. You look familiar.
358
00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,220
Didn't you buy a giant RV,
359
00:13:36,222 --> 00:13:38,519
then try to return it with
your wife's picture on the side?
360
00:13:38,521 --> 00:13:41,088
No, that doesn't sound like us.
361
00:13:42,457 --> 00:13:44,857
'Cause I could swear that's her.
362
00:13:44,859 --> 00:13:46,792
Stealing one of our vans.
363
00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:48,970
Whoa!
364
00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:51,105
She just blew through that stop sign.
365
00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:52,639
She doesn't believe in them.
366
00:13:53,706 --> 00:13:56,968
So, your wife just
drove off the property?
367
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,093
That's pretty bad-ass,
except for the felony part.
368
00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:00,584
Oh, I knew something bad
like this might happen.
369
00:14:00,586 --> 00:14:02,610
She's been repressing her
feelings, and it's not healthy.
370
00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:04,498
Sure. We have two options here.
371
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,678
We can either call the police
372
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,715
or we can buddy-cop
this mother ourselves
373
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:11,015
and chase her down.
374
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,734
Um, the not call-the-police one.
375
00:14:13,736 --> 00:14:15,358
I was really hoping you'd say that.
376
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,821
It's been a fantasy of mine for a while.
377
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,690
Oh, great. We need to
hurry. She's getting away.
378
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:21,293
That's how the fantasy always starts.
379
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,129
Unfortunately, I'm only allowed
to take a vehicle off the lot
380
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,330
if it's for a test drive.
381
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,031
Fine! Whatever it takes, let's go!
382
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,000
Great! I just need your license
383
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,043
so I can make a few copies, we
have to fill out a few forms,
384
00:14:31,045 --> 00:14:32,537
then we'll be on our way.
385
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,628
Alright.
386
00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:36,334
Um, hey, which car do you
wanna take as the chase van?
387
00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:38,208
Uh, the blue, the gold, or the red?
388
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,644
Any car is fine.
389
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,613
Heyyy, Calvin's got one on the hook.
390
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,551
I can't believe we
found the time capsule.
391
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,397
I can't believe how many
pet collars we dug up.
392
00:14:49,399 --> 00:14:50,618
So many named "Rover".
393
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:52,163
- Mm.
- Take 10 minutes to brainstorm.
394
00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:53,588
It's a member of your family.
395
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:54,922
Let's just hope there's something
396
00:14:54,924 --> 00:14:56,670
valuable enough in here to
get us plane tickets home.
397
00:14:56,672 --> 00:14:57,715
Yeah.
398
00:14:59,262 --> 00:15:00,327
My rubber ducky!
399
00:15:00,329 --> 00:15:01,662
Ronnie Hardnose!
400
00:15:01,664 --> 00:15:03,498
That's right. You were
in a big bath phase.
401
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,867
- I was into self-care before it got cool.
- Mm.
402
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,771
A bag of farts.
403
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,471
- Eddie.
- At least he's consistent.
404
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:13,686
A picture of Mom?
405
00:15:13,688 --> 00:15:14,808
That's mine!
406
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,576
She hasn't aged a day.
407
00:15:17,713 --> 00:15:20,079
I remember why we put
this stuff in here.
408
00:15:20,081 --> 00:15:21,648
We were super sad about moving.
409
00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:23,650
And Eddie said if we buried
our most prized possessions,
410
00:15:23,652 --> 00:15:25,372
we'd always have a
reason to come back here.
411
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,622
He was right.
412
00:15:27,624 --> 00:15:30,023
10-year-old Eddie
really was the best dude.
413
00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:31,858
Present-day Eddie's not too bad either.
414
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:32,893
- Hmm.
- We're lucky to have him.
415
00:15:32,895 --> 00:15:35,151
Mm.
416
00:15:35,153 --> 00:15:36,963
You're not gonna believe this.
417
00:15:36,965 --> 00:15:38,632
Eddie's at the back of this photo,
418
00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:39,799
and look what he's holding.
419
00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:41,209
A hot dog?!
420
00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:42,837
I mean, what is his deal?
421
00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:48,197
Damn!
422
00:15:48,199 --> 00:15:49,755
Did she just swerve to make a right turn
423
00:15:49,757 --> 00:15:50,968
all the way from the left lane?
424
00:15:50,970 --> 00:15:53,546
- She trying to lose us?
- No. That's just how she drives.
425
00:15:55,049 --> 00:15:58,116
Crap! Where'd she go?
426
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,721
Oh. She's going west.
427
00:16:02,723 --> 00:16:05,057
Which we know, thanks to the
in-mirror digital compass.
428
00:16:05,059 --> 00:16:07,134
Honestly, I don't know
how much more technology
429
00:16:07,136 --> 00:16:09,327
- you could put in a car.
- Alright, I get it.
430
00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:11,909
We found the time capsule.
431
00:16:11,911 --> 00:16:14,299
What was in it... betrayal?
432
00:16:14,301 --> 00:16:15,768
Actually, it was a rubber duck,
433
00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:17,401
a picture of Mom, and a bag of farts.
434
00:16:17,403 --> 00:16:19,571
Ew. A picture of Mom?
435
00:16:19,573 --> 00:16:22,006
Sorry about earlier. It
really was a fun trip.
436
00:16:22,008 --> 00:16:23,742
Yeah, thanks for kidnapping us.
437
00:16:23,744 --> 00:16:25,710
You were right... we needed it.
438
00:16:25,712 --> 00:16:26,844
Actually, you were right.
439
00:16:26,846 --> 00:16:28,580
I wasn't doing it for
you, I did it for me.
440
00:16:28,582 --> 00:16:29,914
I wanted more time with you.
441
00:16:31,009 --> 00:16:32,409
I'm gonna miss you guys.
442
00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:35,620
Alright, let's go. I'll drive.
443
00:16:35,622 --> 00:16:36,854
Are you sure you can do it?
444
00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:39,390
Not at all. But we're gonna try.
445
00:16:39,392 --> 00:16:40,758
One last adventure.
446
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,627
Ed-venture.
447
00:16:45,164 --> 00:16:46,464
She's pulling over.
448
00:16:46,466 --> 00:16:48,766
Probably 'cause we only put
a gallon of gas in there.
449
00:16:48,768 --> 00:16:51,202
- Remember, Kareem play defense first.
- Ah.
450
00:16:51,204 --> 00:16:53,460
Thanks for letting me borrow
the van for a test-drive, Calvin.
451
00:16:53,462 --> 00:16:55,479
Hey, I got an extra
ticket tomorrow night
452
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:57,207
to the Orlando Magic. Wanna come with?
453
00:17:01,446 --> 00:17:03,981
I always overstep.
454
00:17:06,846 --> 00:17:09,720
Um, Jessica? You stole a car.
455
00:17:09,722 --> 00:17:10,887
Yeah.
456
00:17:10,889 --> 00:17:13,189
- Why?
- Because of you.
457
00:17:13,191 --> 00:17:14,948
- Me?!
- Yes!
458
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,927
You kept pushing me and pushing me,
459
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:18,028
and I finally snapped.
460
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:20,033
Well, I pushed you to
confront your feelings
461
00:17:20,035 --> 00:17:22,465
because it's crazy that this
van means nothing to you.
462
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:25,030
Of course the van means something to me.
463
00:17:25,032 --> 00:17:26,487
Taking it to the mechanic
464
00:17:26,489 --> 00:17:28,605
was one of the worst days of my life...
465
00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:31,441
I'm not leaving without
a free oil change.
466
00:17:31,443 --> 00:17:34,611
And I want you to take down that
naked lady calendar behind you.
467
00:17:34,613 --> 00:17:36,879
Unfortunately, the van's gonna
need more than an oil change.
468
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,148
I mean, truth be told,
469
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:39,849
it's gonna cost so much to repair,
470
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,083
you might as well sell it.
471
00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:42,818
You mean you can't fix it?
472
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,187
I know, it's tough.
473
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,022
I mean, I see it all the
time with a family minivan...
474
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,323
you know, you ride it hard,
475
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:48,548
take it everywhere with the kids.
476
00:17:48,550 --> 00:17:51,797
It's no wonder these things break down.
477
00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:53,603
But hey, it's just a
hunk of metal, right?
478
00:17:54,892 --> 00:17:57,175
Right. Uh, I think I
left my purse in the van.
479
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,133
- Let me just go get it.
- Okay.
480
00:18:10,347 --> 00:18:13,949
I hated to give up the van,
but it was the only real choice.
481
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:16,618
Well, then why were you so
quick to research new cars?
482
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,306
I was coping.
483
00:18:18,308 --> 00:18:20,398
I was trying to tell
myself it would be okay.
484
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,023
But it's not just the van, Louis.
485
00:18:22,025 --> 00:18:23,481
Our nest is thinning.
486
00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:26,774
The boys are growing up, and
it's all happening so fast.
487
00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:28,764
And when you squeezed
into that tuxedo...
488
00:18:28,766 --> 00:18:30,337
- It totally fit.
- ... and kept showing me pictures
489
00:18:30,339 --> 00:18:32,725
of us and the van,
490
00:18:32,727 --> 00:18:35,076
it just made it hurt more.
491
00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:36,644
I wasn't expecting to see it again,
492
00:18:36,646 --> 00:18:38,212
and then I did, and...
493
00:18:38,214 --> 00:18:40,281
I don't know, I snapped.
494
00:18:40,283 --> 00:18:43,650
Jessica, I had no idea. I'm
so sorry for pushing you.
495
00:18:43,652 --> 00:18:46,052
It's okay that we grieve differently.
496
00:18:46,054 --> 00:18:48,546
I know you like to immediately
talk everything through,
497
00:18:48,548 --> 00:18:49,823
but that's just not me.
498
00:18:49,825 --> 00:18:51,691
I see that now.
499
00:18:51,693 --> 00:18:54,127
So, how did you even find me?
500
00:18:54,129 --> 00:18:56,630
A good husband knows
how to stalk his wife.
501
00:18:56,632 --> 00:18:58,832
You followed my path of
destruction, didn't you?
502
00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:01,567
I still don't know how
you missed that stroller.
503
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,276
We finally made it to Disney World.
504
00:19:07,278 --> 00:19:08,366
What a great day.
505
00:19:08,368 --> 00:19:10,401
The part I liked the most
506
00:19:10,403 --> 00:19:14,242
was I accidentally
joined a different family.
507
00:19:14,244 --> 00:19:15,667
You gotta admit, Jessica,
508
00:19:15,669 --> 00:19:17,907
today was totally worth the splurge.
509
00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:20,977
And what a splurge it was.
510
00:19:24,053 --> 00:19:26,646
I can't believe you got Kareem
to throw in a free set of tires
511
00:19:26,648 --> 00:19:27,971
considering we were negotiating
512
00:19:27,973 --> 00:19:29,729
against a grand theft auto charge.
513
00:19:29,731 --> 00:19:32,131
I also got him to throw in these.
514
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:35,182
One hand up, one around my lady.
515
00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:39,028
Don't make me regret not going
for the headlight eyelashes.
516
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,174
Today was great, but not as great
517
00:19:41,176 --> 00:19:43,114
as that sleepover at Walter's.
518
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,335
Yes, Walter's was fun.
519
00:19:45,337 --> 00:19:46,602
We slept there overnight
520
00:19:46,604 --> 00:19:48,871
and did not get a speeding
ticket in North Carolina.
521
00:19:48,873 --> 00:19:50,162
Oh, God.
522
00:19:50,164 --> 00:19:52,865
There's so much to teach
you and so little time.