[Jeremiah Raber] Previously on Return to Amish...
Are we ready?
[Fannie] We're going home and...
We have to decide whether we're gonna go English...
-I love it. -Whoa!
[Fannie] ...or stay Amish.
Now that it's actually... time, I'm...
very nervous.
-[door creaking] -Yes.
-That's it.
[Jeremiah] I feel like I've been living a life that I was like lying to myself.
-Whoa. -'Cause I couldn't even express myself.
Like a million dollars.
[upbeat music playing]
-Oh, oh my gosh! You guys look so good! -Wow!
-Oh! Whoa! -Oh, whoa!
-You guys look very good. -Thanks.
-You... you look good as well. -[chuckles]
[Rosanna Miller] Johnny and I,
we need to talk to the Bishop and get his permission
for us to get married.
[man in foreign language]
Like, I really love Rosanna, and...
Like, I don't know what we're gonna do now.
[Rosanna] I'm a little worried that Johnny will leave me.
-[suspenseful music playing] -Will you marry me?
I hope Jethro knows what he's doing, I just don't want to see him or Sabrina, you know,
get hurt over this.
[serene instrumental music playing]
Will you marry me?
Tonight, I planned a big surprise for Sabrina.
[Jethro] I'm really nervous about proposing because...
the last time I brought it up, she shot me down.
But, I wanna get married.
And if she says no to my proposal, I'll be devastated.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sniffs tearily]
[Fannie] Jethro proposing to Sabrina, I was surprised.
And I figured she was gonna say yes, but...
She's just not... saying anything.
[sobbing]
She's just standing there, and pausing like...
I don't know, is she gonna say no or... is she gonna say yes?
I love you and...
I hate being...
away from you and life is not fun unless you're there.
I love our kids and, I love that...
[sighs] ...we're a family, and I love the fact you make them so happy.
[Jethro] So, is that a yes?
Yes.
[joyful instrumental music playing]
I think she was so... surprised
and choked up, that she didn't even think to say yes. [chuckles]
I thought that was... kinda funny.
[Fannie] That's crazy.
Is it big enough?
[all] Congrats! Congratulations!
[woman] It's beautiful!
[Jethro] Sabrina said yes, she'll marry me.
And I was just like, "Yes!" [claps]
[Sabrina] I'm shocked that he...
proposed but,
when he got down on one knee, I mean like...
it was all just
crystal clear in my mind that this is what I need to do because I don't...
imagine myself with anyone else other than him. And...
he's my person and I'm his person and
I wanna be with him.
You got me an opal and I told God that
the man who gets me an opal that um...
that will be the sign. 'Cause I never thought you'd actually get me an opal,
-and you did so... You sure it's real? -Yes!
[all laughing]
[laughing] I'm dead serious that's real!
[Sabrina] I have never-- I never thought I'd get a real one like...
-I love you, thank you. -I love you too.
That's nice.
[romantic instrumental music playing]
Now you ready to eat?
[Carmela Raber] It was awesome.
Like, I did not expect him to say what he said,
and it felt like...
he was actually meaning what he said.
It was just beautiful.
[Jethro] Don't worry, it's not alcoholic.
Let's do a toast to the kids' new...
new beginnings here.
And for all you guys being here to witness.
-Cheers! -[all] Cheers!
Happy.
Extremely happy.
-Your turn. Yes. -Are you happy?
-Are you? -Yes, I'll marry you yesterday.
-Why do you want to marry me? -'Cause I love the [bleep]
-out of you. Now, say your piece. No, you're not. -I'm ugly.
You're oomph.
-That's actually pretty good. -That is.
[Carmela] This is our last night together, and...
we're gonna have to go home tomorrow.
But this is definitely not going to be goodbye.
Because,
Sabrina's due date is almost here,
and, we all agreed that
we would come back and...
just be there for each other and Sabrina.
[Carmela] I can't wait for that.
[Jeremiah] I wanna look out for these guys right?
And I wanna lead them in the right direction.
When you're leaving the Amish, it's hard.
Because, you're probably leaving everyone behind
and you're on your own.
Yes, so now I gotta do this.
Now, I gotta get married.
Now, I gotta plan a wedding, now...
now all the stress comes. [chuckles]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
♪ What ♪
♪ Do you take for granted? ♪
[Daniel] I'm going home to tell my parents
that I'm leaving the Amish.
And uh, I mean
it's definitely not easy, but...
I gotta stay true to myself.
[Kenneth] My next step is I'm... I'm going home.
Um, kind of worried.
Kind of scared. So...
I'm kind of...
worried you know that...
what my parents are gonna say
about my decision.
[Fannie] I wanna go home and see my mother.
And talk to her face-to-face.
I'm really nervous to go home.
Kenneth and Daniel only risk disappointing their parents,
where me being a baptized Church member,
I will be shunned from...
my whole community,
and my family.
[Kenneth] Leaving the Amish
is a big decision, because
I wanna explore the English world more.
But I also don't...
wanna disappoint my parents.
[Daniel] I love my family and I don't wanna hurt them, but
still, I feel like I made the right decision.
To, you know...
get the courage to, you know, to tell my parents that I'm going to leave.
They're all I've ever known.
[train bell ringing]
[crickets chirping]
[Fannie] I'm back in my community and... I'm gonna go see my mom.
But I don't know how things are gonna... be.
I've put on these Amish
clothes out of respect for my mom.
Because, I knew she would really appreciate that.
I feel really nervous because...
I have no idea what's gonna happen in this conversation.
The last time...
I heard from my mom, she wrote a letter
pretty much condemning me to hell.
"I know you still have things
you would like to do, but please remember,
you won't have a warning when the end is coming.
And you will not have time to change anything.
Or put anything from you.
As we are when the end comes,
that's the way we'll face Jesus."
Well, I'm just hoping that
after I tell her that I'm leaving that...
if she...
like, if she knows it'll make me happy, that she'll be okay with it.
[inhales]
[woman in foreign language]
[Fannie in foreign language]
When she was telling me how, like,
all everyone saying in the
Amish community when they see her is about me and my actions...
I just...
[sad instrumental music playing]
It kind of made me feel bad, because,
I mean, it's not her fault I'm doing this.
[woman in foreign language]
[door creaking]
[Fannie in foreign language]
[woman in foreign language]
[Fannie in foreign language]
[woman in foreign language]
[Fannie in foreign language]
[woman in foreign language]
[Fannie] I was really surprised when she told me to get out.
I wasn't expecting that.
Not being able to see my
sisters and my cousins and my nieces and nephews,
that's... the hardest part
out of everything.
[sad instrumental music playing]
I feel so unwelcome.
[Jeremiah] With everyone leaving,
the next step would be to go meet my grandmother in Las Vegas.
-You're excited to meet Grandma? -[Jeremiah] Nervous.
But my biggest fear is that
my grandmother is going to blame me for her son's death.
-[suspenseful music playing] -[Daniel] Leaving the Amish,
you're running that chance
on your family turning your back on you.
[in foreign language]
I was just wondering if I could stay with you guys for a couple days.
[Johnny] Having her here, if anyone sees her they're gonna run and tell the Bishop,
and it's just gonna get us in more trouble.
[upbeat music playing]
[indistinct conversation]
[Jeremiah] After
meeting my biological family, my cousins and everybody,
you know they put me...
at peace with who I am.
Yeah, I've been uh, I've been staying in contact with cousins.
We've been talking about going to Las Vegas.
-To see my grandmother. -Oh yeah? Good.
[indistinct announcement]
[Jeremiah] With everyone leaving,
Carmela and I were thinking that
the next step in our journey
to getting answers from...
about my father would be to go meet my grandmother in Las Vegas.
Last year, I found out that my real father was
Larry Hiltabidel.
Larry Hiltabidel is...
the guy who was married to my Aunt Sheila.
And my mother and him
ended up having an affair and
one year after I was born, his wife Sheila
killed him and we believe it was because she... she found out about me.
It was a lot to take in.
[slow instrumental music playing]
So, you want to talk to grandma? I can try and call her.
-See if we can call her. -[Jeremiah] When I met my cousins,
the Hiltabidels, we called my grandmother in Vegas.
That's your grandmother. Say "Hi, Grandma."
Hi, Grandma.
I'm doing good.
-He... he's a little emotional so I don't think he can talk. -[sniffles]
[Jeremiah sniffles] All this guilt that I've had
is what kept me from going to meet my grandmother.
But now I feel like
it's time to go meet her, and...
find out everything I can about my father.
[Daniel] I'm going home to tell my parents
that I'm leaving the Amish.
It's a big decision,
because leaving the Amish,
you're running that chance
all your family turning your back on you.
My parents would never be...
you know, proud of me for leaving the Amish,
because my Dad
is a Bishop of the community and I know it's really gonna break my parents' heart.
The worst thing that can happen,
is them looking at me like...
"Hey, you're not my son no more. Get out."
So, in all honesty, I'm actually pretty nervous.
Scared and just,
you know, I know they're gonna be very disappointed.
[door creaks]
[in foreign language]
[mom breathing heavily]
[sad instrumental music playing]
[mom sobbing]
[in English]
[door closes]
They told me that I should come back and be Amish again.
Yeah, for sure.
[sad instrumental music playing]
I mean, it's definitely not easy, it's just like...
people think it's a joke.
But it's really not, because like
when you leave like this, you literally drop
and walk away from everything that you've ever...
been around and known. It's like...
you're starting a full new life.
And if people
never experienced it, they'll never understand it.
[country music playing]
[rooster crowing]
[Rosanna] What're you doing?
Just cleaning up a little bit.
[Johnny] Rosanna and I are in a bad
situation,
because she's pregnant and we're not married.
And the Bishop has already rejected our relationship.
I think we should
stay a little bit in the community and
live by the rules,
and then maybe we can convince the Bishop
that Rosanna is a good person and...
they'll let us get married.
What do you still have to do?
Just clean up a little bit and I'll be done,
before sun goes down...
while we got the light out here.
[Rosanna] Hey.
Hey.
[Rosanna] I got a message from Fannie and
she was wondering if she could come over
and she looked really scared.
[Fannie] I was just wondering if I could
stay with you guys for a couple days.
[somber instrumental music playing]
[Johnny] I mean, with Fannie being shunned,
she's not really supposed to be
out visiting people, and...
me and Rose are trying to
be on the... get on the Bishop's good side,
and it's just
it's very risky, just having her there.
[Rosanna] But...
hadn't you gone home?
I did, but
my mom just kicked me out of the house and
said that I'm a disgrace to the family.
[Rosanna] Whoa.
I mean, uh...
[Johnny] Having her here, if anybody sees her, they're gonna run
and tell the Bishop, and it's just gonna get us in more trouble.
Just gonna make it a lot harder for us to get...
his okay for our relationship.
[suspenseful music playing]
-Excited to meet Grandma? -I'm definitely excited.
[Jeremiah] Um, and now, nervous.
My biggest fear is that my grandmother is
gonna blame for her son's death.
[Kenneth] I'm about to go tell my parents
that my decision is to, you know, leave the Amish.
I'm worried that this decision
is gonna break their hearts.
[Kenneth in foreign language]
[solemn instrumental music playing]
[Fannie] I'm trying to see if I can stay with Johnny and Rosanna.
Because Mom kicked me out.
I don't know, we already got...
I mean we have...
We... there's a lot been going on.
We been dealing... trying to deal with the Bishop.
-What happened? -[Johnny] Hm,
he won't... they won't approve of us
bein' together and bein' in the community.
[Johnny] So...
With you wanting to stay,
if you stay here, we'll probably... you're just gonna...
It's gonna get us in more trouble.
I mean, we kind of got a secret we
been trying to keep hid from everybody.
I'm pregnant.
Oh. Wow.
[Fannie] When they told me that
she's pregnant and going to have a baby,
that's a really big sin because,
they're not married.
No one knows. Like, no one.
You're like the only person that knows.
[Johnny] But, we don't want...
We don't want you to tell anyone.
-Yeah. -'Cause if... if the Bishop,
and everyone find.. finds out, it's...
it's gonna...
ruin our whole family. [stammers]
-It's gonna ruin our reputation. -Yeah.
It's gonna make it harder, a lot harder for us, yeah.
[Rosanna in foreign language]
[in English] Like...
-it's like you can see. -[Rosanna] Hmm-mmm.
And I... [in foreign language]
[Johnny] It's a risk Fannie staying here with us.
But she's a friend.
And we're not gonna turn our back on her.
[in foreign language]
[in English] Yeah, it's just you have to keep hidden.
[Rosanna] I love Fannie.
-And I will do anything to help her. -[upbeat music playing]
[Fannie in foreign language]
[Johnny] Daniel?
[in foreign language]
[laughs]
I was actually not that surprised, because I kind of expected it.
[Fannie] They would be a really good match, I think.
You should tell him how you feel.
You don't wanna live your life with regrets.
Yeah.
[Fannie] I'm excited to see Daniel again.
I kind of have to tell him how I feel and...
I'm really nervous to see him, but...
also excited. So, it's kind of like a
weird excited-nervous combination.
[captivating instrumental music playing]
[Jeremiah] Yeah, this is where we're supposed to meet 'em.
[Carmela] Let's stand in the shade.
Last year, I found out that my real father was
probably murdered because of me.
So, my biggest fear is that my grandmother is
gonna blame me for her son's death, like...
I have no idea how she's going to react to seeing me.
He said he was gonna be here.
I just can't believe we're here, and we're finally gonna meet Grandma.
I mean, isn't this what you've always wanted?
Just the dream of having your... family?
-[Carmela] I mean, I know blood-- -Yeah, because...
Because, even in my Amish family
I never met any of my grandmothers, 'cause they had all passed away.
[Jeremiah] Never thought this day would come, ever.
[lively piano music playing]
Jeremiah.
-Hey! -Holy crap.
-Nice to see you. -I didn't even recognize ya right away.
-Oh my goodness. Pretty good. -How you doing? How you guys doing?
[Jeremiah] I'm... nervous to meet Grandmother.
So, I called my cousin Bill and asked him to meet us in Vegas.
So, he can introduce us to my grandmother.
-Was the flight good? -Yeah. It was actually pretty quick.
It's crazy seeing the two of you together, it's like two Jeremiahs.
-The only difference is the height and the eyes-- -It's two Bills.
-Nah, nah, nah. -[laughing]
-It's two Hiltabidels! Two Hiltabidels! -Two Hiltabidels!
-We'll go with that. -Yes, it's a...
-I love it. -[Jeremiah] No, I'm glad you, you know you came out here.
You know, meeting Grandmother, and meeting you guys...
that's just... closing that gap in that circle a little more.
It's almost... it's almost closed but there's still a little bit more to go.
Still wanna find out a few more things.
I'm happy to be here with you, man.
Pretty good.
It means a lot to us, so...
It's no problem, you're family, man.
It feels good to be called family because,
I never imagined I would hear the words
coming from an actual blood relative.
Yeah. I appreciate it.
[sentimental instrumental music playing]
Excited to meet Grandma?
I'm definitely excited.
[Jeremiah] Um, and now, nervous.
This trip is...
all about getting answers, and hopefully I get 'em, you know?
What happened?
And what was going on between... between the two?
You know what I mean?
[Bill] Hopefully, Grandma can help with those...
questions.
I mean to have you here is like, it means everything to me, you know what I mean?
Honestly, I don't know if I would... if I would have came here
if...
you were or any of y'all...
none of my cousins would have came along,
I don't think I could have done it.
Just because my nerves would have...
-would have taken over, you know what I mean? -Yeah.
So to... so to have you here, is like
it... it just means everything.
I'm glad I could be here.
[Jeremiah] To go meet my grandmother is...
a huge deal for me.
You know I'm... I'm excited but I'm nervous as well.
Now...
is that the way it's going to be when I show up there? I don't know, but
with Bill's support, that's going to help me get through the emotions
of meeting her.
I wanna get more answers about my father,
but I have no idea how she's going to react to seeing me.
[Jeremiah] Oh, yeah.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sentimental instrumental music playing]
This way?
[Jeremiah] When I walked into Grandma's house,
I felt so many emotions, I didn't know where to start.
But my biggest fear is that my grandmother is
gonna blame for her son's death.
-Hi, Grandma. How you doing? -[Grandma] Hi.
Comin' in for a hug.
-Yeah, I'm... I'm one of the tall ones. This is Jeremiah. -[laughing]
-[Bill] And his wife, Carmela. -How you doing?
Mm.
[sniffles]
[breathing heavily]
You okay?
No. [chuckles weakly]
-Ooh, thank you. -And that's for you.
Ooh, thank you.
[Jeremiah] When I walked into Grandma's house,
she was all open arms and...
you know growing up Amish, I never got hugs.
[Grandma speaking]
[Jeremiah] And here I am, I get an actual hug from my
actual biological grandmother.
It just made me feel like I was...
in a happy place.
[Grandma] I'm glad I finally got to meet him,
and, see it's true I have a grandson I didn't know.
So...
I'm just overjoyed.
And happy today.
Yes. And the way they walk.
The way they sit, the way they walk.
-Hmm-mmm. -From behind they both
walk exactly the same.
The only difference is the height.
Everything else, same.
And the hair.
[Carmela] Yup.
You see?
Definitely a Hiltabidel.
Hey, I'm proud to be one.
So... so what was Larry like?
-[chuckling] -Was he?
Really?
[Carmela] Sounds familiar.
No. It's always her way.
-That's what he says. -[laughing]
-[Grandma laughing] -He says.
Yeah.
My grandmother has a very warm personality, and...
she immediately made me feel at home.
And that made me feel good, because...
you know, I finally believed I belonged somewhere.
So...
[Jeremiah] You got a whole bunch of 'em, huh?
-[Jeremiah] Oh that's Larry? -[Grandma] And...
[slow instrumental music playing]
Wow.
[Jeremiah] Grandmother has pictures of the entire family.
And,
there was a painting that caught my attention.
-So, who's that painting? Is that Larry? -[Grandma] Yeah.
[Jeremiah] It ended up being a painting of my father.
And, it just felt like...
there was somebody else there with us, as well.
I mean, there... there were so many emotions going on.
Seeing the pictures of my father as a baby,
and also growing up,
and then his life suddenly ended,
that was hard to face.
I couldn't even talk.
Everything came crashing down on me,
all over again, and...
I realized everything that I've lost.
You know...
I never had him as a dad.
And the worst part is...
my birth is probably what caused his death.
I just literally shut down.
[sniffles]
[Grandma speaking]
I...
[Jeremiah] I feel...
that my dad was leading me
in all these directions.
You know, I wanna find out more about his death.
Like, I've heard so many different stories already, it's just...
I still believe that I am the reason.
[sniffles]
[breathing heavily]
Not a thing.
Phew.
[crying quietly]
Come here, give me a hug.
[softly] Hm, okay. Okay.
[sniffles]
-Ah... -[sobbing]
Ah.
[solemn instrumental music playing]
[Carmela] Jeremiah's face,
uh, it's almost like all the hurt that he was feeling was lifting.
Ah.
You know, when Grandmother told me that, I'm not
the reason my father got killed,
you know, a sense of relief
just came over me, because I'd always been...
you know, blamin' myself and thinking that I'm the reason that it happened, but
you know, she says it's not.
I think it went really well. I'm sure it took a weight off his chest
to hear from Grandma saying he had nothing to with it.
[Bill] It's not his fault.
-It's good seeing you. -Mmmm.
Hmmm, and you.
-You see at the table, she wouldn't let go of my arm? -Yeah.
She was looking at you like
she was very proud of you.
-Hmmm? -She was looking at you like, "That's my grandson."
-Yeah, it was... You are. -'Cause I am.
It's true.
-We'll definitely be back. -Okay.
-You okay? -Just so worried about the baby.
-[Jethro] All right, I'm calling an ambulance. -[suspenseful music playing]
[siren wailing]
[serene instrumental music playing]
[Sabrina speaking]
[softly] Oh my God.
Jethro.
[breath trembling]
What's going on?
-You okay? -I don't know, I'm seeing spots.
-Just so worried about the baby. -[grave music playing]
[Jethro] All right, I'm calling an ambulance.
-[crying] -[Jethro] Ah, my girlfriend she's uh...
nine months pregnant or whatever.
Are you having contractions?
You feel like you're gonna pass out?
Uh, [bleep].
[suspenseful music playing]
All right, thank you.
[siren wailing]
[Sabrina] I'm dizzy.
[whirring]
[indistinct conversation]
[beeping]
Okay.
[siren wails]
[beeping]
-[beeping] -I was seeing stars.
My vision was blurred.
I was scared... that there was something wrong.
Hmm-mmm.
[enchanting instrumental music playing]
[clip-clopping]
[Kenneth] I'm... I'm about to go tell my parents that, uh...
my decision is to you know, leave the Amish.
You know, thinking about this conversation that I'm about to have
has kept me up some nights.
I'm worried that they're gonna be...
you know, upset with me, and you know,
probably wondering if they didn't raise me right.
I mean, I... I really love my parents.
And I'm worried that this decision is gonna break their hearts.
Uh, you know, that's the last thing I wanna do.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Jeremiah] On the next episode of Return to Amish...
You face down right here, and you put your head down here.
-Okay. -And kinda put your arm on the side, like that.
I've been wanting to get this tattoo for a long time, but...
-it wasn't after I met my grandmother... -[buzzing]
...that I knew the time was right.
This is just helping close that gap.
I wanna talk to you before we go.
Okay.
I kind of have to tell him how I feel.
So, what is it you wanna talk about?
[in foreign language]
[siren blaring]
I was stopped in my horse and buggy.
[Johnny] I feel bad because, if I do something wrong,
the Amish punish my family for it.
[Rosanna] Family reputation is very important among the Amish.
[Johnny] Me and Rose are trying to get on the Bishop's good side.
[Sabrina] Ow, ooh! Ooh, ooh!