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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

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NARRATOR:
<i>The cat and mouse detectives</i>

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<i>have rushed to the theater</i>

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<i>to solve the case of
</i> <i>a missing musical diva.</i>

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(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

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<i>♪ I am Agent Boris Morris</i>

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<i>♪ And my heart's about to
</i> <i>shatter all to pieces</i>

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<i>♪ What a pity!
</i> <i>It's my client Kitty Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ I brought here this evening</i>

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<i>♪ And I left her in
</i> <i>her dressing room</i>

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<i>♪ But when I checked it later,
</i> <i>She was missing!</i>

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<i>♪ What distressing doom</i>

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<i>♪ The show is starting shortly</i>

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<i>♪ And the crowd
</i> <i>will be hysterical</i>

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<i>♪ A disappearing diva's not
</i> <i>an error that is clerical</i>

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<i>♪ She has a lot of enemies</i>

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<i>♪ With whom she's
</i> <i>become embroiled</i>

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<i>♪ And any one of them
</i> <i>Would foil kitty cat
</i> <i>from</i> Kitty Foiled

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<i>♪ Yes,
</i> <i>I believe she's kidnapped</i>

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<i>♪ And acquainted
</i> <i>with the criminal</i>

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<i>♪ I'll lose my 10% and
</i> <i>my distress is not subliminal</i>

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<i>♪ My back is up
</i> <i>against the wall</i>

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<i>♪ So grateful that
</i> <i>you paid a call</i>

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<i>♪ Please help me find
</i> <i>Who done it to the
</i> <i>Diva Kitty Caterwaul ♪</i>

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Uh... Maybe I should show
you around. (CHUCKLES)

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(PIANO PLAYING
CLASSICAL MUSIC)

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BORIS: That's him!

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<i>♪ Miss Caterwaul, you see</i>

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<i>♪ Was doggone mean to me</i>

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<i>♪ She tore apart my singin'</i>

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<i>♪ A donkey in a fog</i>

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<i>♪ A wounded, dyin' frog</i>

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<i>♪ Tomatoes they'll be flingin'</i>

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<i>♪ Tomatoes they'd be flinging</i>

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<i>♪ She said the only
</i> <i>way to make me</i>

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<i>♪ Sound okay
</i> <i>Was muzzle me</i>

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<i>♪ Now I'm cryin'</i>

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<i>♪ Kitty, pity dear</i>

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<i>♪ You'll never get to hear</i>

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<i>♪ My voice</i>

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<i>♪ Electrifyin'!</i>

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<i>♪ You think my case is shady</i>

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<i>♪ Then Meathead
</i> <i>you should find</i>

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<i>♪ He had an ax to grind,
</i> <i>Say where's</i>

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<i>♪ The costume lady? ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Oh, my Kitty Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ Sigh, Kitty Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ She was the love of my life</i>

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<i>♪ My pitter went patter</i>

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<i>♪ All over Miss Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ Someday,
</i> <i>I'd make her my wife</i>

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<i>♪ Oh, how she entranced me</i>

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<i>♪ Romanced me and danced me</i>

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<i>♪ One sultry December night</i>

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<i>♪ But fame sought her company</i>

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<i>♪ The dame had to dump me</i>

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<i>♪ For pastures more
</i> <i>green and more</i>

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<i>-♪ Bright!
</i> -(METAL CLANGS)

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<i>♪ And so from afar I loved</i>

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<i>♪ Kitty, the star above</i>

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<i>♪ All other ladies in town</i>

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<i>♪ My luck that I had to fall</i>

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<i>♪ For Kitty Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ Turned my whole
</i> <i>world upside down</i>

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<i>♪ With all respect due, sir</i>

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<i>♪ It's Spike, the producer</i>

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<i>♪ Who don't want
</i> <i>Miss Kitty around ♪</i>

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(TEETH CHATTERING)

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<i>♪ When a feline isn't fit
</i> <i>For your production</i>

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<i>♪ Your production</i>

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<i>♪ And you've sunk your every
</i> <i>bone into the show</i>

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<i>♪ To the show</i>

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<i>♪ You can bet your life
</i> <i>You're headed</i>

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<i>-♪ For destruction
</i> <i>-♪ For destruction</i>

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<i>♪ And you know
</i> <i>the pretty Kitty</i>

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<i>♪ Has to go</i>

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Has to go.

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<i>♪ She can sing
</i> <i>But she can't act</i>

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<i>-♪ To save her hiney
</i> <i>-♪ Save her hiney</i>

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<i>♪ Chewing scenery
</i> <i>Like it was a</i>

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<i>-♪ Sticky bun
</i> <i>-♪ Sticky bun</i>

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<i>♪ Plus on top of all of that</i>

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<i>-♪ She got so whiny
</i> <i>-♪ Got so whiny!</i>

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<i>♪ With that scheming
</i> <i>prima donna</i>

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<i>♪ I was done</i>

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(GLASS SHATTERING)

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<i>♪ As for Caterwaul's
</i> <i>mysterious disappearance</i>

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BORIS: <i>♪ Disappearance!</i>

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<i>♪ Ask the writer and director</i>

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<i>-♪ Of the show ♪
</i> -BORIS: Yeah, let's go.

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<i>♪ A cat like that
</i> <i>Could drive a guy insane</i>

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<i>♪ Her act fell flat</i>

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<i>♪ My play went down the drain</i>

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<i>♪ Don't change my words</i>

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<i>♪ I plead and plead and plead</i>

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<i>♪ But Kitty's certain she's
</i> <i>a special breed</i>

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<i>♪ A caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ A caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ I can't direct her
</i> <i>When she's</i>

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<i>♪ Keen to redirect
</i> <i>her every scene!</i>

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<i>♪ Lost, wrecked</i>

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<i>♪ And on my knees</i>

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<i>♪ This is a disaster</i>

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<i>♪ Why did we ever cast her?</i>

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<i>♪ Let's set our minds at ease</i>

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<i>♪ Find another diva, please</i>

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<i>♪ But how did Kitty vanish?</i>

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<i>♪ Go, and talk to Toodles</i>

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<i>♪ She would know</i>

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<i>♪ Poor Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ Bless her untalented heart</i>

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<i>♪ I serve as her</i>

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<i>♪ Choreographer</i>

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<i>♪ Trying hard to make out</i>

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<i>♪ Poor Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ Her two ginormous left feet</i>

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<i>♪ Killed my ballet
</i> <i>To my dismay</i>

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<i>♪ Why couldn't
</i> <i>I play her part?</i>

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<i>♪ Oh, I've got talent, you see</i>

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<i>♪ Twenty times more
</i> <i>Talent than she</i>

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<i>♪ I've got talent divine</i>

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<i>♪ I tell you
</i> <i>That part is mine</i>

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<i>♪ Talent divine</i>

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<i>♪ That part is mine</i>

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KITTY: <i>♪ Help...</i>

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<i>♪ Help, help</i>

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<i>♪ He-he-help</i>

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<i>♪ Help, help (VOCALIZING)
</i> <i>Help</i>

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<i>♪ Help! ♪</i>

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I went out for a box of
my favorite chocolates

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to settle my
opening night jitters,

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and got lost on the way
back to the theater.

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I took two lefts
instead of a right,

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probably due to my
two left feet.

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I got dizzy and tumbled
down a set of stairs

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and rolled into this
pit of despair!

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This never would have happened

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if Mr. Nitwit had gone to
get them for me!

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Now, I've got a show to--

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(THUD)

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Ooh!

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Kitty! Oh, Kitty!

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How I've missed you so.

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<i>♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪</i>

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<i>♪ And so we
</i> <i>solved the mystery</i>

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<i>♪ Of missing Kitty Caterwaul</i>

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<i>♪ I really had no reason to
</i> <i>be apoplectic after all</i>

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<i>♪ It doesn't matter anyhow</i>

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<i>♪ I'm representing Toodles now</i>

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<i>♪ So, toodle-oo,
</i> <i>Ta-ta, adieu to you</i>

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<i>♪ Miss Kitty Caterwaul ♪</i>