1
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,824
(DOORBELL CHIMING)

2
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,627
Thomas, what a surprise!

3
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:31,344
For me? Oh,
you shouldn't have.

4
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,170
(GIGGLES)

5
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:40,040
Like I said,
you shouldn't have.

6
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,743
(WHISTLING)

7
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,444
Hiya, doll!

8
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,014
Aw.

9
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,017
Butch! You know
I'm allergic
to Tiger lilies.

10
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:55,084
Oops! Er, try this cream
on for size, sweetheart.

11
00:00:57,392 --> 00:01:01,095
Er, guess I should
have checked
the expiration date.

12
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:05,131
You two are both
uncouth slobs
of the lowest order!

13
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:06,668
Now, hold on!

14
00:01:06,735 --> 00:01:11,735
I prefer to think
of us as slobs
of the highest order.

15
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:15,242
You all need
to get some manners!

16
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,644
Like I did.

17
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:20,781
Ed and Edna's
Back Alley
Charm school.

18
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,350
Forget that.
I ain't going

19
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:27,417
to some snooty,
stuck up lessons
for no dame!

20
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,228
(RINGING)

21
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,265
(EXCLAIMS) I knew
you'd fall
for this gunk!

22
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:42,331
Well, anything you can do,
I can do better!

23
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:49,672
We're going to be able
to charge them
for endless classes.

24
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,746
Indeed, Edna.
Let's soften
these chumps up

25
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:57,813
and get them hooked
for the full treatment.

26
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:01,855
Oh my gracious!
Please, gentlemen.

27
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,025
This is a refined
and dignified establishment.

28
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,827
If you can't
behave yourselves

29
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,397
you can leave
right now.

30
00:02:09,464 --> 00:02:11,198
EDNA:<i>The introductory
</i> <i>lesson is free.</i>

31
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,968
But the full course will
cost one can of tuna

32
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,536
per person
per lesson.

33
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:17,972
Since there are
four of you,

34
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:21,375
we'll split you up
into two groups.

35
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,678
Edward, you tend
to the other pair.

36
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,314
Thank you, Edna, dear.

37
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,416
EDNA:<i>Oh, don't
</i> <i>mention it,
</i> <i>Ed, darling!</i>

38
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,751
Now, you see there?

39
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,587
Edna and I just
took great pains

40
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:36,924
to display
utmost courtesy
to one another.

41
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,459
Not curtsy! Courtesy!

42
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:43,564
Politeness, manners, etc!

43
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:47,801
(SIGHS) This is going
to require more effort
than usual.

44
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:52,405
We will begin
with Terpsichore.

45
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,975
The refined art of dance.

46
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,811
Oh! Well, why didn't
you say so, lady?

47
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:01,178
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

48
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:12,054
Stop! This is a waltz!
Try to keep up.

49
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,328
Please just
follow my lead.

50
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,966
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

51
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,270
Here, we have
the ideal feline posture.

52
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,238
Come, come,
step forward please.

53
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:26,307
Oh, dear!

54
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,776
Stomach in, chin up,
back straight,

55
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,577
nose up, shoulders back,chest out

56
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:31,812
and tail up.

57
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,329
Now, isn't that better?

58
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,268
Walk forward now.

59
00:03:46,127 --> 00:03:48,129
Now, gentlemen,
we shall guide you

60
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,964
through the etiquette
of table manners

61
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,365
for a formal tea.

62
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,500
Do not touch anything

63
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,602
until Edna has
demonstrated

64
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,905
the proper useof silverware.

65
00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:00,674
Eh, thank you,
dearest Edward.

66
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,010
We begin with Shrimp.

67
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,878
Who are
you calling "Shrimp"?

68
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,546
The shrimp fork.

69
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,249
Then, there is
the salad fork.

70
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,984
But, in the case
of pasta salad,

71
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,852
we use
the pasta salad fork.

72
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,120
<i>Next is
</i> <i>your deli fork,</i>

73
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,589
<i>the semi fork
</i> <i>to be used</i>

74
00:04:14,656 --> 00:04:16,123
<i>in between the salad
</i> <i>and the main fork.</i>

75
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,692
<i>The serving salad fork.</i>

76
00:04:17,759 --> 00:04:21,028
<i>The salad serving fork
</i> <i>and the dessert fork.</i>

77
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:24,364
I'm gonna need a forklift
for all this junk!

78
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,532
(CLEARS THROAT)

79
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,935
And last but not least,

80
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,652
the napkin.

81
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,381
Close enough.

82
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,450
Now we're talking.
What's for grub?

83
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,452
Finger sandwiches.

84
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,954
Ew, gross!

85
00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:49,089
I'm not eating
anybody's fingers.

86
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:51,291
Suit yourself, pipsqueak.

87
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:52,326
When in Rome.

88
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,995
There are no fingers
in these sandwiches.

89
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,564
That's just the name.

90
00:04:56,631 --> 00:05:01,401
The contents are celery,
cumber and garlic butter.

91
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,871
(WHISTLIING)

92
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:08,287
Right. Chicken saves
the day!

93
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:12,279
Now, on to our final
department, grooming.

94
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:17,346
EDNA:<i>This isa facial moisturizer.</i>

95
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,617
Oh! (GIGGLES)

96
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:56,151
They say that
clothes make the man.

97
00:05:56,524 --> 00:06:01,524
ED:<i>You lookabsolutely splendid.</i>

98
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,300
(CLATTERING)

99
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,602
(LAUGHS)

100
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,972
(LAUGHING)

101
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,875
(CLATTERING)

102
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,744
Edna, darling,
this is a catastrophe.

103
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,647
(GRUMBLES)
Indeed, Edward.

104
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,982
ED:<i>Congratulations!</i>

105
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,218
For the first time
in our charm school history,

106
00:06:24,285 --> 00:06:26,720
we have
decided to graduate
the entire class

107
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,956
after just one
introductory lesson.

108
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,891
You'll be
spared the cost.

109
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,493
Y-yes, dearest Edward.

110
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,195
But our pupils must
keep this a secret.

111
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,030
and promise
to never tell anyone

112
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,701
<i>that they attended
</i> <i>this course.</i>

113
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,737
<i>Woo hoo!</i>

114
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,005
For me!

115
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,374
What are you
doing here?

116
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,642
We graduated
charm school.

117
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,110
Ain't we charming?

118
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,813
Oh, I'm so proud
of you.

119
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,947
You've got
real degrees

120
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,550
in etiquette,
just for me.

121
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,785
Let's celebrate.

122
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:03,591
(BAND MUSIC PLAYING)

123
00:07:03,658 --> 00:07:06,526
Perhaps it's time to find
another line of work.

124
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,294
Indeed. We should.