ANNOUNCER:Missing! The acclaimed show-jumper is missing.
All of England is on the lookout for Burlington Bertie.
Champion show-jumping horse.
If you have any information leading to the whereabouts of Bertie,
please notify authorities immediately.
Now we return you to our previously scheduled program.
DUCHESS: Oh, I hope they find her soon. Bertie's a national treasure.
DUKE: Oh, tut-tut. No doubt they'll offer a sizable reward
for Bertie's safe return.
(GULPS) Oh, codswallop. The jig is up.
Please don't turn me in.
I'm on the lam, as they say.
You see, I took a bit of a tumble in practice.
I went tail over teakettle, as they say.
And I'm petrified to race again.
Oh, will you hide me?
Thanks, love.
(NEIGHS, CHOMPS)
DUKE: I do think it's rather careless to misplace an entire horse.
DUCHESS: Terribly careless, yes.
But how's your tea?
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
That was too close for comfort, Jerry.
(MUMBLING)
Good day. Lovely weather, isn't it?
(NEIGHING)
Oh, bother. Everything seems to be falling apart.
(NEIGHS)
(SCREAMS) (HOOTING)
(GROWLS) (SCREAMS)
(GAS HISSING)
(CREAKING)
(THUDS)
(NEIGHS)
(SCREAMS)
(YELLING)
(BRAYING)
It's too high.
I'll never make it.
(WHISPERING)
Jerry, you're a world class horse whisperer.
I didn't take a tumble like last time.
(NEIGHS)
Stars and Stones, I did it!
That was bracing.
I think you've cured my jitters.
I'm ready for my comeback.
All I need now is a rider.
(NEIGHS)
(WHISPERING)
(LAUGHING)
(TOM YELLING)
Sorry.
(TRUMPETING)
I'll be sozzled.
The championship. The arena's miles away.
Quite right, Jerry. Can't win if we don't try.
Let's put a bustle in our hedgerow.
(NEIGHS)
ANNOUNCER:What's this? I can't believe my eyes.
It's Burlington Bertie.
And she's on a record pace blazing towards the finish.
Burlington Bertie has done it again.
She's back, and champion once more.
The fabulous Philly broke every record
in the hands of a phantom rider,
whose skill completely astonished the crowd.
DUKE: Bizarre. Cracking good show.
DUCHESS: I say, who was that phantom rider?
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
CATES: Oh, who could that be?
(NEIGHING)
Thomas!