ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) The Cowboys And Outlaws Movie channel
presents "Once Upon a Shootout at the O.K. Corral."
RICK: Ooh! My absolute favorite cowboy movie!
GINGER: Mine, too. The perfect Saturday night.
Cold root beer, hot popcorn,
and the best of the West on TV.
-(COWBOYS WHOOPING ON TV) -(SNIFFING)
(CHOMPS)
(SHRIEKS)
(GIGGLES, SLURPS)
GINGER: No, Thomas.
-(CANS CLATTER) -RICK: What the...
-Give that back right now! -(CRASHES)
I'm warning you!
-(SHRIEKS) -Bullseye!
(CRASHES)
It's the lockup for you, partner.
-(SNORING) -(MEATHEAD AND SPIKE SINGING "BALLAD OF THE CATNIP KID")
♪ Ain't no use in shakin' your noggin', Kid
♪ You ain't unknown to boggin'
♪ To the sleepy land of Nod
♪ No, it's time to pay the Piper
♪ But don't you go the shod
♪ Catnip Kid
♪ You can't escape what you done did! ♪
NARRATOR:Well, sir, looks like the Catnip Kid's behind bars at last.
The sheriff of Casto Flats had put an end to that varmint's career.
Of course, the kid always said no jail could hold him.
But that was just a load of baloney.
(BULL MOOS)
(GRUNTS)
(EVIL LAUGH)
NARRATOR: So much for Casto Flats.
Let's see what kind of trouble the kid can rustle up in the next town.
Bastian Butte. Sheriff off duty.
Looks like they put the welcome mat out for the Catnip Kid.
-(GIGGLING) -(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(BLOWS)
(SLURPING)
(PIANO PLAYING HONKY-TONK MUSIC)
(LIVELY CHATTER)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
More milk, Bartender.
BARTENDER: Sure thing, Husky.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(PATRONS GASPING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(MUNCHES)
Catnip Kid? I thought you was in jai... (STAMMERS)
I mean, how long you in town?
Hey, have one on the house.
Your favorite brand of buttermilk.
(GASPS) He's gonna drink from a dirty glass!
(GURGLING)
(SIGHS)
Another? So soon?
Kid, don't you think you ought to slow... (STAMMERS)
Here you go, Kid.
Go get the sheriff.
NARRATOR:Now, like the sun outside set,
the sheriff of Bastian Butte was off duty.
In other words, he hung up his star.
Permanent-like.
Yep, he caught almost every no-good varmint there was.
Except for one. The Catnip Kid.
-(SNORING) -And the sheriff,
being a perfectionist, never got over it.
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
Well, hallelujah.
Yahoo!
(MEATHEAD AND SPIKE SINGING "BALLAD OF THE CATNIP KID")
♪ Now the sheriff's making a feel liking to capture a no-good feline
♪ With a price tag on your head
♪ He'll hightail the tail to justice
♪ And that's alive or dead
♪ Sheriff Jerry, that is
♪ The mouse without mercy ♪
-(PIANO PLAYING) -(PEAS RICOCHETING)
-(LAUGHS) The Kid's done missed every other shot. -(GULPING)
(ALL SHOUTING)
-(PIANIST COUGHS) -(JARRING NOTE ON PIANO)
(SHRIEKS)
Here, Kid, Have abother nutter milk.
I mean, another mutter bilk.
Hit the dirt, everybody!
Sheriff Jerry strapped on his holsters.
Says he's gonna finish off the Catnip Kid,
or die trying!
-(EAGLE SCREAMS) -(BELL TOLLS)
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(MEATHEAD AND SPIKE SINGING "BALLAD OF THE CATNIP KID")
♪ Catnip Kid!
♪ High noon No time to flip your lid
♪ Slings are jonnin' Peas are flyin'
-♪ That's no fun Nobody's dyin' -(GASPING)
-♪ And they soon run out of peas -(SHRIEKS)
♪ So they grab the nearest cactus
-♪ Club each other! -♪ That takes practice!
♪ Till they're both down on their knees
♪ But the cacti lose their prickles
♪ And these ain't no city slickers
♪ So they grab some horsey shoes
♪ And they hurl them iron beauties
♪ But the horses kick their booties
-♪ You don't want to see that ruse! -♪ No!
♪ Now the kid, he sees a clover
♪ Thinks his dueling days are over
♪ But the sheriff has a plan
♪ One chrome-plated water pistol
♪ Shining like a diamond crystal
♪ In his mousy little hand...
(SHRIEKS)
♪ This ballad ain't done yet
♪ Catnip Kid! ♪
(HORSE NEIGHS)