♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Come on, the one and only ♪
Woman: I've never seen anything like it.
♪♪
Ooh!
Look at this fancy hidden camera.
How can I look at it if it's hidden?
What?
Magic bookshop.
Michael: Hey, how are you doing?
Good. How are you?
Doing great. Okay.
"House of Blessings."
Yeah.
Nice book.
Bottle & Bottega.
Alright, does it have a -- We had a sale today.
We have, uh, $2 off, $5, $10,
and $20, depending on the stickers.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah.
And we, uh -- we got these back in, too, The Redacters.
Uh-huh.
A lot of people are calling about those.
What is that? Oh, yeah, these --
You've never seen these little machines?
No.
Oh, yeah.
Lawyers use them and stuff to, like, redact information.
You see how it, like, makes a laser beam?
Uh-huh. But there's three settings.
Like, for one, like, you see how there's all numbers here?
Uh-huh.
The first setting -- if you wanted to, like, have a --
if you had a contract or something and you didn't want
anyone to see the numbers or checks or something,
you set it to that first setting right here.
Oh.
And then, when you aim the laser
at numbers, it will -- Look at that.
It inks them.
[ Gasps ] That is so cool.
Isn't that great? Can you undo it?
No.
Oh.
Yeah, once it's redacted, it's redacted.
Yeah, so no one else --
That would be a good one, though, to undo it.
Yeah.
They have to.
I mean, come on.
And then, the second setting is personal information.
Here, you want to try that? See that?
Like, if something has personal info on it --
Oh, like, look -- here's an invoice.
Like, if you aim that laser right here, nothing happens,
but you see there's an address up there with personal info?
Uh-huh.
Aim it at that.
Yeah.
Damn. That is so cool!
And it redacts it.
Yeah.
Super-cool.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, and then the other one is for --
The third setting is, uh, like,
if there's obscene stuff, you know, like in books,
and you --
[Bleep] or, like, a [bleep].
Yes. Exactly.
[ Laughs ]
It will -- But I don't know how that --
Why can't I get that to -- That's amazing.
Whoa! Oh, there we go. Did I get it?
It's gonna redact you.
Oh, it redacted you.
[ Gasps ] Oh.
What was that? "Moby Dick."
Oh!
Did it, like -- Did you get a shock just now?
I felt a shock, yeah. Oh, no.
Whoa. Yeah.
Don't aim it at people.
Oh, my -- Is that --
Damn!
Is my shirt ruined now?
It totally redacted it.
Oh, I thought it was only a paper thing.
'Cause it says [bleep] And I said [bleep]
That's so weird. Remember?
That's so funny.
You said -- Maybe it programmed your voice.
Like, it knew to get rid of that word.
I don't know.
Alright.
And then I'm just waiting for this to load up.
Then I'll ring you up. Oh, okay, cool.
How much is this nifty machine, just for --
Oh, it's $59.95.
And then I think it's supposed to have --
Oh, I don't remember what the number off was.
It's okay. No, it's okay. Yeah.
I'm just wondering, like, price range-wise.
Exactly.
And I have a coupon in this book,
so I'm gonna go grab that. Thank you.
So, when that's loaded up...
The Redacter.
How you guys doing? Good. How are you?
Good. You just gonna be browsing around a little?
Yeah.
You're not here for the signing, are you?
There's a signing?
At 4:00, John McKay from the "Live Longer! Live Better!"
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And tomorrow, they're doing the book on assassinations.
Uh-huh. That's one of -- Ooh.
Oh, that's neat.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's little toys and stuff in there to kind of,
like, make the reading experience better.
A little more exciting?
A little -- Yeah, the darts,
and this is, like, arsenic they have in there.
Oh, my God. That's hilarious.
It's pretty crazy, yeah.
Oh, yeah, and one of those.
I think it's called a garrote.
So, he's coming later, you said?
Yeah.
Oh, that's neat.
Yeah, it's, like -- I think you would just have to --
Oh. Well, that's scary.
Oh, there's a sword in there.
Wow, that -- Okay, that's pretty dangerous.
Yeah. But it's a good book.
There's, like, a section on, um, poison.
There's a section on daggers.
[ Gunshot ]
Ooh! There's one on guns, too, yeah.
Gosh, I felt that blow right by my ear.
That was so weird.
That's -- Oh, my God. That caught on fire.
It literally just -- Wow!
Okay, that's a -- Be careful with --
Was that supposed to do that?
It doesn't seem like that should do that.
Did that go right through the book?
It went right through the book.
[ Gasps ]
Wow.
Yeah, that's the revolver section, so...
That's not --
We should put a warning on these, probably.
I'm gonna -- Excuse me. I'm put a war--
We got to get a warning on the assassinations books.
Woman: Thank you.
My God. This guy is -- Look at it.
It went right through his head.
Cool. Can we get the book?
That could seriously hurt somebody.
Can we get the book? No.
How you doing? Good. How about you?
Great. Alright, just this?
Yep.
Great. And they wanted --
You get a free chocolate with it, too.
Alright.
I don't know if you like dark chocolate.
Yeah, I do. Grab one of those hearts.
They're --
A whole heart?
Yeah, you can take one with you 'cause you're buying a book.
Alright. They're these new things.
They're called Flutters of Love.
There's, like, a toy inside.
Oh, okay. It, like, breaks open.
Yeah.
Cool.
I haven't opened one yet,
but they say there's, like, a hollow heart.
And then, inside, they make a toy made of chocolate also.
So when you break it -- Break it open,
and then you reach inside and you find your --
Oh.
Dude, that's a legit butterfly.
Oh, my God. I had no idea -- There --
Holy [bleep]
That's crazy.
Whoa!
Okay, so, I'm sorry.
[ Laughs ]
I hope I get one of those.
Yeah.
That was epic.
Wow. Okay.
Yeah.
So don't shake it.
Yeah, I guess don't shake it.
I don't know how long it will stay alive in there.
Maybe there was a whole thing about how to care for them.
But I'll grab you directions on that and I'll be right back.
Where's Mary?
These things were -- You know, the...
That was crazy.
♪♪
You just can't hear it in there.
Hey. How you doing?
Good, good.
Alright, great.
Okay, I'm just gonna check that,
'cause we had a couple of issues with these pages.
Sometimes, the -- Aah!
I'm sorry. Yeah.
Are you gonna want a new one if there was a bookworm in that?
I have no idea.
I didn't even know that was -- that existed.
Oh, bookworms? Yeah.
Yeah, we have a thing with them.
If it rains, they come in. Oh.
I mean, I don't think it's damaged, is it?
No. I mean, it might have left a little streak or something.
Oh. Yeah, they're in there.
There might be another copy I could --
I don't see any more.
Yeah, is it alright if I just get another copy?
Yeah. At least they're not eating it.
But, like, other books, like -- like this one here...
Sometimes it depends on the -- Is there any in here?
No.
Huh.
None in there. That looks good, right?
Yeah.
That's what we do.
We check them all now and make sure there's nothing in there.
Wow. That's crazy.
That's the first time I've ever seen them.
First time -- you've heard of bookworms.
Yeah. You've never seen them.
But these pages that aren't glossed --
I probably shouldn't do this, but --
They'll eat right through them?
Yeah.
You throw them in there.
He'll eat right through that.
Look at that, how fast they'll --
Oh, they gnaw at it.
Look at this.
They're quick.
Oh, crap.
Yeah.
They recalled like 1,000 books already from our place.
Let me get you a better copy of that.
I appreciate it.
Sorry. I'm really sorry.
Hang on.
♪♪
Oh, hey. How are you?
How's it going?
Alright. Just this?
Yeah.
Alright.
And I think this might be one of the new books with the --
Oh, yeah. This is great.
This has the little chip in it.
You see that? Kind of get that out of there.
A little chip on the spine.
It's sort of reflective. Uh-huh.
And those work really well with the Japanese wooden bookmarks.
Really?
Yeah.
So, you're gonna want to have one of these.
Have you ever seen these little guys?
No.
Okay.
Well, it's like a -- It's a flat bookmark.
And it has a matching microchip on it,
but it's made of, you know, a very thin wood.
Can you feel that?
Oh, it is wood. Yeah, it's wood.
It's actual wood. I know. It's very thin, like paper.
But they code each book
with the same code that goes on top of here.
So if you have one that has a chip in it,
into the book like a bookmark...
Mm-hmm.
...and then you just give it a second there.
And you can almost -- You hear the little --
[ Warbling ] You hear the sound?
Holy [bleep]
Yeah.
And it will actually -- Oh, see there?
Yeah, the -- It will chip it and carve it into...
something that matches the book.
That is insane. Isn't that cool?
Yeah.
Not all the books have them, but they're pretty cool.
Like, most of the newer series, like anything --
Most hardcover books will have it.
Here's an "Exploring the Ocean" book.
As long as it has the chip in the side of it,
it will match up.
That was insane. Let me try this one.
Yeah, put that one in there.
Give that a shot. Let's see.
There it goes. [ Warbling ]
Yeah, get all that stuff out of there.
Yeah, it's got microblades between the pages that...
See what it did.
Oh, that's nice.
That's insane.
Yeah.
It adds a little bit of fun, you know, to reading, so...
Yeah. How the hell was that --
I know, right?
Because it's just the chips. Like, we looked.
We were trying to, like, figure out if all of the books have --
What is that? "Kama Sutra"?
Mm-hmm.
But let's try that one.
See that -- There's 60 different...
It started going.
[ Warbling ]
Oh, yeah.
And then the string is stuck there.
A penis!
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry. Yeah, this is an adult book.
Oh, that is awesome.
I'm really sorry about that. Yeah.
You're good.
Okay.
I got to -- Let me -- I got to actually --
I put these in the children's section and I have to move them.
Just give me two seconds. You're good.
Guys, the "Kama Sutr--" the "Kama --"
Whatever this book is here...
♪♪
Today, I play a surgeon.
Alright, not really.
Just a cafeteria server.
But, you know, similar.
Woman: Can I just get a cheeseburger, please?
Cheeseburger. You got it. Alright.
One second.
Not a problem.
I was just in the middle of grass-cutting here.
Got to feed the beef, you know?
Cool.
Yeah.
You've had grass-fed beef, right?
I've heard of that. I just --
Oh, yeah.
All our burgers are grass-fed beef, so...
I never, like, thought about what that meant, to be honest.
Oh, yeah. Well, we feed it ourselves here
because it's just, like, the nutrients,
and it's a lot cheaper.
Yeah.
But they absorb quicker and everything,
so it's a lot easier for us.
So, I'm gonna feed him right now.
If you cut your own grass, it's gonna want to eat it,
so you kind of -- Oh, that's cool.
You could just push -- You sort of push it into it
a little bit, like that, you know?
And then it kind of -- You see how it, like --
Yeah.
Oh, whoa.
Yeah.
It sort of, like...
That is interesting.
It, like, absorbs.
Yeah.
Cool. You know, but it's, like --
Whoa. That's so weird.
Yeah.
The beef actually has the muscle memory still of...
That's crazy.
...of eating grass.
Oh, my God.
It's, like, alive.
Yeah, it is.
Is it alive?
I mean, it's rare, but it does have sort of a lifelike,
I admit, situation.
We just sort of feed it in there.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
It's about a pound of that right there.
Yeah. Yeah, it's almost --
It's kind of chewing it, you know?
Yeah, that's --
This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Well, you've heard of that before.
I've just, like, seen "grass-fed beef" on menus,
but I literally never thought about it.
Right. You just never saw them hand-feeding it.
Yeah.
It's better when it's hand-fed.
It's kind of, like, grain-fed, you know?
Yeah.
There it goes. It gets almo--
Yeah, it will absorb almost all of it, you know?
It's like a weird organism.
Yeah.
Wow.
[ Burps ]
Yep.
That is trippy.
Yeah.
Chicken nuggets and fries.
Okay.
I'm gonna make the nuggets individually, okay?
No problem.
We do them -- We hand-cook them.
Yeah.
Oh, that's awesome!
I've never seen that before.
Oh, it's -- Yeah, it's better 'cause it's fresh.
Okay.
You know?
But, yeah, I've got the frozen ones here.
Let me turn this on. Yeah.
We were wasting too many, 'cause, like, it's bizarre.
Not everyone buys the nuggets,
and then they're all cooked and then they just go to waste.
You just throw them away. Right.
Alright, you just take a whole bunch of them,
and then the hand cooker --
You just hold it over it, like this.
Oh.
See? That starts to -- That is amazing.
It just cooks them right up.
Oh, that's... [ Laughs ]
Isn't that great?
I've never seen that before.
Oh, these are awesome. You can cook anything with it.
The home-ec department loves this.
Uh-huh. Fries, you said, right?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Some fries.
Yeah, the home-ec department has a whole course
where they teach how to make different things,
you know, with this. You can get these --
You know, they're gonna be putting them out for purchase.
They have a book on, like, a complete way to --
That is amazing, yeah.
"Handmade Meals."
Uh-huh.
And, plus, also --
Whoever invented that should be a millionaire.
Right. And it's simple to use the stuff.
There's this great one for -- Oh.
That was on. Sorry. [ Laughs ]
[ Blowing sharply ]
Uh...
this is regulated a little high.
Oh, okay.
I'll make you a couple more of those.
Okay.
Hang on one second.
Jimmy, this is regulated too hot.
Oh.
Oh, oh.
Hey.
Can I have a slice of pizza, please?
Slice of pizza? Sure.
Yeah.
And then do you also have -- Could I get a side of greens?
Do you have that?
A side of greens?
Yeah.
I have mixed.
I might have -- Do you want just green?
Yeah, if you have that, that would be great.
Okay. Let me see what I can do.
Um...
yeah, I'm not sure he has any, um...
Peas okay?
Just the peas, I guess.
Yeah, just peas?
Yeah.
Okay, cool. I could do that.
Yeah, a lot of people like just the greens.
What's your name?
Jason.
Jason?
Yeah.
Alright.
Okay.
Put it in a to-go container for you.
Okay.
Alrighty.
So, first, I'll just put them in mixed.
Sure.
And just peas is okay, though?
Yeah.
Just the green diet, right?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Yeah. Close that up.
Yeah, we have to separate a lot of stuff for the kids here.
Sure.
Sometimes, they don't like it all mixed.
But here, I'll... Give that a little...
[ Vegetables rattling ]
They're all weighted a little bit differently.
I see.
All the veggies.
So I kind of hit...
And then little taps.
That -- Does that really work? Yeah, it really works.
You just dice the carrots in a certain way
so that they tumble.
The peas being round and the carrots being square,
they can separate.
So you could just eat the peas.
Oh, my [bleep] God.
Yeah.
That's -- I don't know why that's so impressive to me,
but that is crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, they make them that way on purpose
'cause a lot of people like --
Sure. No, that makes sense, I guess.
Some people like this, some people like that.
So, you know, it's easier for us to --
Instead of having to mix them when people want mixed,
it's much easier to just separate them.
Honestly, when I had first saw you put, like, the full mix
into the Styrofoam, I was like, "Why is he doing that?"
Oh, yeah.
But that's -- I stand corrected.
I mean, damn.
Yeah.
Okay, cool. Yeah.
And, um...
Oh, I spelled --
I think I might have spelled your name wrong here,
unless the "J" moved over when I shook it.
I don't know.
Let me just -- I'm gonna reheat this,
'cause this has been sitting out a minute.
I'll be right back. No problem.
One sec.
♪♪
Mmm!
Walden Synthetic Edible Protein Substance --
just like Grandma used to make.
She was a microbiologist.
So, this is Food Lab 5.
This is where they test a lot of the new
food products and things.
And we have to clean up an experiment they were doing.
We have a -- They have a food substance
that kind of gets used as a base.
Well, let's put some gloves on.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here you go.
Alright. Before you handle it.
But, yeah, none of them really taste quite right,
and it's really the texture of it inside your mouth.
So, this stuff -- this was the protein
substitute that they were making.
It's like a meat-based -- And see how it kind of has --
You see those, like, fibers in there?
That kind of, like, was mimicking, like, muscle fiber.
But what they did is -- they ran, like, electricity
through it to try and, like, make the patterns
of the goop make, like, a muscle structure.
Okay, so, here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna toss this because it's been opened, okay?
Yeah.
So I'm gonna bring this over here.
And if I tip this over here,
can you pull the goop on out of there?
Yeah. There you go.
This is like Big Chew to me.
Yeah. You remember that?
Yeah, that's the color of it, right?
It was the [bleep] Yeah, that's good stuff.
Ooh! It almost smells like bacon.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of stuck to --
I'll have to ask about that. Well, they're gonna get --
They said to put the containers here
so they can get rid of the container.
Oh, they're probably gonna throw them out, anyway.
Yeah. Recycle or whatever.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Look at that stuff.
Gross.
Oh, have you ever --
It's, like, the Silly Putty, kind of.
[ Gags ] You know,
see how it swells in there, too.
Yeah.
Starts to almost kind of swell up once it hits the air.
Yeah.
That was actually
one of the problems they were having with it.
That's good.
Air freshener up in here. I know, right?
That smell -- it's pretty bad, right?
And they -- Okay, so, these must have gotten used already.
So, yeah, they get in some intense stuff
when they're running tests on this stuff.
I'm glad they don't make us wear these things.
I think there's another one over there.
Will you grab that one for me?
Yeah.
We'll throw that one away.
I'll take that.
Terrific.
Alright.
Let me get this out of here.
Oof! Whew!
That smells pretty bad.
Alright, now we can take the gloves off.
So, that's much better.
We don't have to worry about that.
Oh, there's this part, too.
This is what they said they were doing,
and that was the reason they had to stop making it,
because they were running this test with strawberries.
And I saw them do it. It's pretty weird,
'cause they were trying to mix the meat
into other food substances to actually, like,
cook with it, but it's, like -- It reacts --
Here, you do this. This is pretty crazy.
Here, hold that.
Okay. Yeah.
Like, almost like you're feeding a dog,
'cause I'm gonna -- Watch.
When I start to pour it...
Oh, look, there it goes.
Oh, my God! Did you see that?
What is going on in there? I know.
It's like it reacts to the food.
Oh, I can, like, feel it.
Yeah.
Oh, that is so weird.
That's so creepy.
Oh, my God.
I'm never gonna eat tofu again.
They said it's because it, like --
It's so much like muscle, like human meat, like,
it wants to eat, as well, so it is actually stimulated by food.
It's Flubber.
So, we should definitely sanitize.
Run away?
Yeah.
There's a sanitizer right here.
I'm gonna -- I'll push it down,
and you can put it on your hands.
Always best to, like, sanitize a little bit.
Okay, good. Alright.
Much better.
Yeah, but that is the craziest kind of stuff, right?
It's so weird.
I know, that it would be -- Oh.
Where is it?
It ran away.
Holy [bleep]
It's, like, out hunting.
That is so creepy. Oh, wait.
Oh, look.
Oh. [ Laughs ]
Wow.
Be careful.
Do not go anywhere near it. That is really strange.
Oh, my God.
Aah!
That is so...
[ Laughing ]
Wow!
Oh, my God!
Okay.
Someone needs to throw all this [bleep] away.
That is really, really weird.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
It's, like, moving the whole table.
Should I throw this -- I'm throwing this out.
Oh, my God.
That is nasty.
Oh! Oh, my --
It looks like the slime is, like, filling the suit.
Okay.
Aah!
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna get this out of here.
[ Laughing ] Oh, my God. Hold on.
Will you tell -- Actually, you know what?
Don't tell him.
Stay where you are, stay where you are.
I'll get it out. I'll just -- Whoa.
Okay. Shoot.
Eeh!
Ew. It's, like, moving.
Ew. We should get out of here.
Oh, my God. I say we get out of here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come here, come here.
Oh! Can we leave?
Oh, my...
Oh, my God. That is too [bleep] creepy.
Oh, my God. Do you know what?
We should go in the containment room.
Come here. This is safer in here.
Oh, my God. No.
Let's get out of here. [ Alarm blaring ]
It, like, filled that suit up.
Okay, hold on a minute.
Holy [bleep]
Yeah.
Oh, my God. That's -- What the [bleep]
Makes that -- It's, like, moving like a human.
That's got, like -- That's like the Carbonaro Effect.
That's locked, right?
Yeah.
That's locked. We're safe.
That's got to be, like, the Carbonaro Effect, right?
[ Alarm stops ] Making that do that.
Do you know what that is, the Carbonaro Effect?
Spaghetti carbonara?
No.
It's the name of a hidden-camera magic TV show.
I'm -- What?
A hidden-camera magic TV show.
There's a hidden-camera TV show?
You're on a hidden-camera -- No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
You are.
My name is Michael Carbonaro.
I'm a magician.
Oh, my God!
That is too --
What the [bleep] is that [bleep]?
Wave to us, slime.
Oh, my God!
♪♪