Hey!
You want to go grab some breakfast?
You haven't left the house in five days.
You're gonna run into Ava and Flash at some point, so‐‐
Might as well just get it over with.
Girls, I am on a major songwriting roll right now.
Yeah, or you're just trying to decide which angle to take.
You know which angle I'm playing right now?
For the first time in my life,
I am the cool, calm, collected good guy,
and they are the bad guys, okay?
And I can't guarantee I won't snap.
So please let me enjoy my position of superiority
for at least a couple more days.
We lucked out that we didn't have any gigs or rehearsals
until next week, but we're gonna have to see them
‐Friday night. ‐For the "Feast" preview?
No way, they're definitely gonna be there. Forget it.
GIGI: You're not going because of them?
You have to go.
Noah said he's too nervous to go.
I promised Bam and Re the three of us would go
and give notes.
Honey, no, I don't want to lose my cool.
Right now, I'm your cool, rockin' daddy, remember?
We're going, with or without you.
What are you‐‐ what are you guys up to now?
What, are you, like, a couple again?
‐We're, um... ‐We're...
‐Reexamining our situation. ‐What does that mean?
It means that we're just chillin' out
‐and enjoying ourselves. ‐Mm‐hmm.
Hey, you remember this ring I got her?
‐Which I love? ‐Yeah.
Turns out it's a magic ring.
Oh, really? What's magic about it?
It made Flash disappear.
Can it make him move back to Nashville sans Ava?
Dad, you need to stop obsessing
over running into them.
You need to run into someone new.
Yeah. Get back in the game.
Oh, my God. "Get back in the game."
You know, the only game I ever had
was being on stage.
All right, so what game am I gonna play now?
"Hey, I'm a 51‐year‐old failed rock star who likes to drink
"and whose longtime girlfriend just broke his heart.
Want to come to my daughter's apartment and [...]?"
I know all kinds of chicks who'd respond to that challenge.
I know this really hot 26‐year‐old
who wants to date older guys.
She's sick of guys our age
and all their insecure ego bullshit.
So she wants to date an old guy with insecure ego bullshit?
You'd have to kind of not be yourself.
Who else am I gonna be, guys? Come on.
A strong, confident middle‐aged man
with major songwriting talent and a great head of hair.
I do have a great head of hair.
Yes, you do, and, luckily for you,
the shag's making a comeback.
‐But this ain't a shag. ‐Seriously?
Come on, you are the blond version
of Jane Fonda in "Klute." If she had balls.
The '70s are making a big comeback, Dad.
Everybody has a shag‐‐ Taylor Swift.
Chloe Sevigny.
Think of yourself as Chloe Sevigny.
With a dick.
JOHNNY: That's great.
Jane Fonda's balls and Chloe Sevigny's cock.
Thanks for putting those images in my mental masturbation files.
‐Ew. JOHNNY: Exactly.
How about this image?
You, out on the town, with a hot 26‐year‐old babe on your arm.
She's got amazing tits. An ass to die for.
Legs that go on for days.
‐That would be awesome. ‐Yeah.
And it would make Ava insanely jealous.
No, no, no.
You do not want to run into Ava
when you're with another girl.
You can't handle that.
It's not a good idea.
We're not talking another girl.
We're talking a 26‐year‐old girl
with amazing tits and a great ass.
I would make her jealous and probably really horny.
Is this chick into threesomes?
‐ ♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪
♪ Anonymous ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ ♪
Dude.
This whole method acting thing is‐‐is murderous, bro.
I mean, it's been two goddamn weeks.
The entire cast and crew is starving to death.
Just like the Irish did back in the famine.
You see, Campbell, he wants us to feel that same exact energy
they did back in 1847.
Only eating the foods they had to survive.
He wants the whole production to feel that‐‐
that‐‐that hunger and yearning.
Just till the end of show tonight,
so relax, man.
Here. Have some tree bark.
I'm sick of tree bark.
I want a Snickers bar.
I want a steak the size of my head.
Campbell's got his guys, like, checking on everybody,
like some kind of Guinness Gestapo.
You see that dancer the other day?
She got caught eating a peach.
They confiscated it from her.
Peaches don't grow in Ireland, bro.
How are you doing this, by the way?
You of all people.
‐Huh? ‐What the hell's that mean?
‐ You know what it means.
I bet you any money.
(sniffing)
What are you‐‐ what are‐‐
‐Don't‐‐ ‐ You have got to have
something edible stashed away
someplace.
It's called discipline.
Devotion to a cause.
Go ahead, check.
Check the cabinet. Check my bag.
‐Look in my bag. ‐Okay, I'm gonna.
Maybe if you dedicated yourself
to the rich history at hand,
it'd be easier to fast, my friend.
Hey, you listen to me.
Dude, you have been with me 24/7.
Every waking moment.
You know all I have had to eat for two weeks
is that crazy famine crap, but enough is enough.
Dude, I am a starving New York Jew in 2016.
I'm not skinny Druid [...] from 1847.
What is that?
Nothing! Get out of my...
Huh?
What is it?
A bag of Raisinets? (chuckles)
I knew it.
‐Yeah. ‐Food, food, I love you.
They're dried elderberries, dude.
Watch your teeth on those.
I chipped a molar this morning.
O ye, of waning faith and willpower.
Oh.
Hey, Campbell.
Listen.
‐Can we order a pizza? ‐Campbell?
I know not this Campbell you speak of.
I am Taryn,
leader of the Irish rebel uprising.
Right, I forgot.
‐Grass. ‐Listen... Taryn.
Can you get a message to Campbell?
Will you be talking to him later this evening?
Well, that's a fine question.
Here's my answer:
not until my people overcome
the tyranny of their British oppressors.
So probably around 11:00 p. m.
Well, maybe, then, you could ask Campbell
to order us a large pepperoni pie at 11:01 p. m.
Right?
(laughter)
Flesh is weak.
The stomach is weaker.
The soul, boyos, the Irish soul...
Wrought with iron.
Keep that in mind.
Sweet Jesus.
Watch this one with the hat. I don't trust him.
Keep an eye on him, will you?
He's not gonna order the pizza.
(indistinct chatter)
Wow.
Pretty awesome, huh?
So tell Johnny about your band.
Oh, well,
we're not really a band, we're more like a collective.
Oh.
Collective.
‐That's cool. ‐Yeah.
It's me and my cousins, Edith and Hortense,
and my sister, Genevieve, and my brother, Norah.
We all live together, and our instruments are from
‐the pre‐Raphaelite era. ‐Wow.
When is that, is that, like, the '60s?
The late 1860s.
We have two lutes, a fife, a clavichord,
and a chitarrone.
Wow, I actually had a chitarrone
in Mexico once, and it was [...] delicious.
You're so funny.
No, it's an ancient oversized Italian guitar.
Basically if an archlute and a theorbo had a baby,
it'd be called a chitarrone.
You should jam with us sometime.
I‐‐yeah.
Yes, we'd love to.
He's actually an archlute fanatic.
‐Really? ‐Yeah.
‐Kinda. ‐Oh, my gosh.
And don't even get him started on the fife.
We should see her play sometime.
I definitely want to see you play.
‐Really? ‐Yeah.
That's great,
we're at the New Jersey Renaissance Fair
‐all next weekend. ‐Oh.
You have to come in period costume,
but I probably have a peasant jerkin
and some tights that might fit you.
That's great. We'd love to, I'll drive.
Great.
‐That's awesome. BOTH: Yeah.
Guess we're going.
What's the name of the band?
Zither Sisters.
‐Cool name. ‐Thank you.
Cool name.
I dig your shag.
Thank you.
Cool.
(clears throat)
(inaudible whispering)
‐ (inaudible mumbling)
(both laughing)
Why do you keep looking over there?
Oh, that's, that's our guitar player.
‐ (inaudible muttering)
You know, I am gonna run backstage
and just wish my friends good luck.
‐Sure. ‐Okay?
‐Great. ‐All right.
Yeah, you know, I'm actually gonna‐‐I'm gonna‐‐
I'm gonna go back there and wish them good luck too.
I'll be right back.
Yeah.
‐Hey. ‐Hey.
‐What's going on? ‐Looking for Ava.
Yeah, I'm just looking for Bam and Rehab.
I'm gonna wish them luck.
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do,
wish them luck.
Yeah, that's what‐‐
that's what I'm doing.
You good?
I'm awesome.
Dude, I've moved on, so...
Good.
You saw the chick I'm with, right?
Yeah, she looks nice.
Nice?
You saw her body, right?
Killer tits.
Amazing.
Listen, man, maybe it was
Micki dying or Phil Tessla, but it kind of focused
Ava and me on what's really important in life,
and how short it is,
and maybe we're supposed to be together, man.
What?
That's the lie you're telling yourself.
Listen, dude, in the end, she went for the money.
I get it, it's cool.
Whatever.
That's a nasty thing to say.
You really think she would've moved in with you
if you didn't own that farmland in Jersey?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
Well, guess we'll never know.
See you at rehearsal.
Enjoy the play.
(groovy hip‐hop music)
MAN: ♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ The famine and the feast ♪
MAN: ♪ Famine ♪
MAN: ♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ It's the famine and the feast ♪
♪ I am Taryn of Cavan ♪
♪ Here to halt this horrid famine ♪
♪ Free my people from their pain ♪
♪ Free my people from the shame ♪
♪ As they die now, down in blood,
♪ I write their names ♪
MAN: ♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ I write your names ♪
♪ As you die now, down in blood ♪
♪ I write your names ♪
MAN: ♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ Down in blood, I write your names, people ♪
MAN: ♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ I should be here for you ♪
♪ And I'll write your names ♪
(female choral vocals)
♪ I shall take your names ♪
MAN: ♪ Famine ♪
♪ To the sky, into our Lord ♪
♪ I will be your witness ♪
♪ And you will not have died in vain ♪
MAN: ♪ The famine and the feast ♪
♪ It's the famine and the feast ♪
(applause)
(percussive music)
♪ ♪
(clears throat)
I just wished Bam good luck and was headed back to my seat.
I was just looking for Flash.
Is he backstage?
Yeah, he said Johnny'd come looking for you.
Where's Johnny?
I don't know.
How's he doing?
He's doing really great.
Yeah, he's doing awesome.
He has the new girlfriend.
Yes, I saw her.
How old is she?
Uh‐uh‐uh.
I'm not getting into that.
He's in a really good place right now.
Well, good.
Yeah, he's writing a shit ton of new songs.
Oh, for you or for Ava X?
I think he kind of thought
that you and Flash had Ava X covered.
You know, since you fired him.
No, you fired him.
Well, you told me to fire him.
♪ ♪
If you have something you want to say to Flash,
you can tell me and I can tell him,
or better yet, you can come over and talk it all out with him,
because I think that would make you both feel better.
Yeah, I'm sure it would.
I'm not coming over to the apartment ever again.
I just wanted to apologize to him for what I did over there.
I think he would consider it even
for the amps and guitars.
Oh, good, because I wasn't really sorry,
and since I broke up with him,
that was more of a message for you.
Because, since you don't want him,
you don't want anyone else to have him?
(loud explosion and screaming)
‐Oh! ‐Whoa!
(electronic synth music)
♪ ♪
That was very motherly of you.
(clears throat)
Gigi...
I realized you already have a mom,
and she loves you a lot.
Kind of like you love that farm in New Jersey?
Yeah, I do,
because it represents a second chance for me.
A life I rejected 25 years ago because I wasn't ready.
But now I am.
And when you get older, you will understand.
Aww, when I get older?
Wow, well, now you really sound like my mom.
But I'm not.
No, you're not.
But I will tell you something that I told my mom a lot.
[...] you, Ava.
I think you want to go that way.
No‐‐ I just came from there.
No, I just came from there.
(sighs)
(Irish bagpipe music)
♪ ♪
(sighs)
♪ ♪
(applause)
Dafoe!
Willem!
What the‐‐
Willem Dafoe, what the [...]?
What are you‐‐
No, no, no, Campbell.
I'm‐‐ I'm not Willem Dafoe.
‐Of course. ‐No.
And I am Taryn of Cavan.
‐Right. ‐Leader of the rebel uprising.
Killer of the crown.
Are you in character now?
What are you‐‐
Huh?
Oh!
Are you doing that‐‐
the faded rock star on that Scorsese HBO‐‐
‐the '70s thing? ‐Yes.
That's what I'm doing.
Yeah.
I read for that.
I taped twice for that.
You must know Jagger or somebody.
Are you friends with...
Y‐yeah, I met him at a party, we talked.
‐Jagger? ‐Yeah.
And Scorsese, who did...
he did "Last Temptation of Christ."
I got to socialize more.
I already knew him, yeah, it was...
(applause)
Hold on.
Campbell will see you after the show.
How long?
How long, Lord, must I forage through these fields
with no yield?
How many hungry sunsets must I endure?
(indistinct chatter)
(piano music)
♪ ♪
WOMAN: ♪ Could this be? ♪
♪ All we've been through ♪
♪ Has to end ♪
♪ When I tell you ♪
♪ Good‐bye ♪
♪ ♪
♪ All my hope ♪
♪ All my praying ♪
♪ Left unheard ♪
‐Hey. ‐What's up?
Look at this.
‐What are you looking for? ‐No, no.
I invited a couple of people.
Yeah, they're really digging this song, babe.
So you're not‐‐you're not embarrassed or bitter
about the show anymore?
No, I'm proud to be a part of this.
This song, in particular, I mean, it's...
it's making me tear up.
This song?
Out of all the songs they added,
you hated this one the most, my friend.
You said it was sappy and commercialized.
I know I said that, it's just, like, I don't know.
This‐‐this show feels like a Broadway show to me.
This song feels like a Broadway song to me.
This is the kind of song you and I could win awards with, babe,
like Tonys and Grammys, and the movie‐‐
Yes, yes, the movie... I'm so proud of you.
You're finally coming around
to me and Campbell's point of view, man.
I think you mean Taryn.
‐What did I say? ‐You said Campbell.
I said Campbell?
Shit, he'd freak if he heard me say that.
‐Goddamn. Taryn. BOTH: Taryn.
Taryn. Anchor that.
Jesus Christ.
This acting shit is so complicated.
What the hell is that?
Pine seeds, you want one?
‐Yeah, give. ‐Yeah, take one.
‐What, one? ‐That's it.
That's all I've got.
See me in an hour.
♪ ♪
BOTH: Hey. ‐Did you see Ava?
‐No, you see Flash? ‐No.
Right here.
Hey.
How you doing?
We're just... headed back to our seats,
and I'm sure you're headed back to your date.
She's not my date.
We've been dating, now we're just in that...
banging‐our‐brains‐out phase, you know?
Yeah, and I'm, I'm sleeping with Davvy again,
so it's just pretty hot and heavy over at our house.
We have, like, four people over there all the time, so...
It's a lot. It's great.
Well, she's cute.
What's her name?
‐Ava‐‐um, it's... ‐Emma.
It's Emma, and we call her Ama,
and sometimes Am for short.
She likes it.
(laughs)
Huh.
Well, at least we still have our dignity.
(muffled show music)
♪ ♪
That's it, man, I give up.
I'm just gonna eat some goddamn seaweed.
Oh, bro, don't reduce yourself to eating crayons.
I mean, come on, did they have crayons in 1847?
No.
Dude, spit it out.
Come on, it's gonna make you sick!
‐Relax, relax. ‐Are you kidding me?
That's it, it's gone too far.
‐I'm ordering a pizza for us. ‐Shut the door.
‐What are you talking‐‐
Just shut it. Shut the door, quick.
‐Just... ‐Dude, it's okay.
One crayon isn't gonna kill you, but, you know,
between you and me, we shouldn't be‐‐
It's an edible crayon.
‐What? ‐It's a pretzel rod.
Rolled in sugar candy.
Yeah, the wicked watermelon‐‐ they're amazing.
They're so good.
I love them, so...
I know, I suck.
I suck, I‐‐
Don't judge me, man.
♪ ♪
Judge you?
You're a genius.
Try one. Mm‐hmm.
Yeah. It's good, right?
Mm‐hmm.
This is awesome.
It's Orangey Orange.
It should be named Extremely Orangey Orange.
Ha‐ha! Want another one?
One? I want a box of my own.
I got a whole brand‐new box right here for you, my friend.
Open that. Look at that.
BOTH: Ting!
(upbeat hip‐hop music)
(rapping) ♪ When I ♪
♪ Used to dig potatoes ♪
♪ 'Cause it was my occupation ♪
♪ The British came to town ♪
♪ Now there is no vegetation ♪
♪ The crops were all dying ♪
♪ The babies are crying ♪
♪ This is an epidemic ♪
♪ But I got to keep trying ♪
♪ It's been eight years ♪
♪ But it's feeling like forever ♪
♪ At night, it gets cold ♪
♪ So I wear an Aran sweater ♪
♪ I got to feed my family ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm the breadwinner ♪
♪ You know it's getting bad when you're eating grass for dinner ♪
MAN: ♪ 'Cause I'm ♪
Oh, Lord...
MAN: ♪ Just trying to be ♪
Hear me now, I'm just trying to be
The kind of man I'm supposed to be.
MAN: ♪ Living in strife ♪
We're living in strife here.
MAN: ♪ With kids and wife ♪ ‐With the kids
and the kids and the wife.
This isn't the life we were meant to lead.
I'll tell you why.
(rapping) ♪ Oppression, depression ♪
♪ I'm filled with aggression ♪
♪ I want to teach the Brits a [...] damn good lesson ♪
♪ I'm coughing up dirt, my teeth are all green ♪
♪ The most depressing sight anyone has ever seen ♪
♪ My kids have been coughing, it's getting too often ♪
♪ If this keeps up, they're gonna wind up in a coffin ♪
♪ You think you've got it bad, you say you've got the blues ♪
(hawks and spits)
♪ Take a walk in my shoes ♪
MAN: ♪ I'm just trying to be ♪
'Cause, Lord I'm just trying to be the kind of man
I was supposed to be.
I'm living in strife
with the kids and the wife.
This isn't the life
we were meant to lead.
And now, I've got a question for you.
Can you hear me, Lord?
Can you answer me, Jesus?
What's a man to do?
Every which way we lead them...
We've had them, but they're...
Wait, Lord, is that‐‐
Potato!
(cheers and applause)
♪ ♪
(Irish folk music)
♪ ♪